Girls Gotta Eat - Dating Advice That Will F*ck You Up

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

In a surprising twist this week, we're unpacking dating and sex advice you SHOULDN'T take. We're deep diving on the bad advice people give and how to spot it, debunking and discussing classic quotes like "you'll meet someone when you're not looking" and "opposites attract", plus sharing our listeners' hilarious sex tips gone wrong. And we catch up Rayna's bf meeting the fam, the best compliment Ashley received on a dating app, and fresh TV/movie recs. Hope you enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Visit our website for show dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Olive & June: Get $20 off your first mani system at oliveandjune.com/gge + code GGE. Helix: Get up to $200 off all mattress orders + 2 free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge. HelloFresh: Go to hellofresh.com/gge14 + use code GGE14 for up to 14 free meals + free shipping. Ritual: Get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who was every day going out, like, today I'm going to be my husband. But also, someone probably went out and said, today I'm going to be my husband. And then they did. Yeah. It'll happen when you stop looking, but I want to look. Back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back. I see you pulled it up.

72 degrees. It feels nice out. If there's a seven in front of it or six, there's, that's what I said the other day. Follow by a nine. There's so many sevens this week. So many sevens this week. Guys, also, we have been in the studio for six hours. Six hours.

We have been here. It's after 4.30 and we're starting to record. You know that I don't like to record after my bedtime. I know. It's like sleepy time now. We've had a lot going on. Listen, big things pop in. We haven't even talked about this.

Huge things coming out. We are really doing big things. I'm just, that's all I'm going to say. We've been working on a whole new thing. We haven't talked about it. We're not going to talk about it. But I'm just letting you guys know it's coming. It's huge.

Working on something huge. And it's not just like a new influencer partner. No. It's not just like a collab. We don't have like our own flavor of sugar bear hair care. It's a huge fucking deal. And that's all I'm going to say. And I can't wait.

Yeah, we're going to tease it every week until the end of time. With no details. I started saying this last week, but this is actually it. It's last call for tickets for this tour of shows. If you guys have never been to a girl's got to eat show. It is nothing like your normal comedy show. It is a wild ass over the top. Girls Night, bring your friends.

If you are in Raleigh, well, we don't take it anymore for that. Charlotte, Charles in Orlando. We have so many fun shows lined up for you guys in the best cities. We're so excited. Please come out. Tickets, Girls'Gotty Podcast.com. Get them. Just get them. Just get them.

And then also if you guys didn't see, Boston, we added a third show. You gotta come. Ashley and I will break up. If you don't come, should be so mad at me. So third show, Friday, it's October 29th, 945. Holiday weekend.

It's a holiday weekend. Somebody emailed us and said her sister's coming to visit for Halloween because it's a holiday weekend. In Boston. Cannot. All the other tickets. Austin is coming up in a few weeks as well. You guys can get tickets to the general moon tower comedy festival. You can get a badge on their website. But you invite individual tickets to our show on our website. There's two shows, Paramount Theater. We'll see you guys there. Come down to Austin. We love it there. We can't wait. Okay. And I'm going to get into the not as fun stuff. And those are COVID restrictions. Requirements. Requirements. Yes. Requirements. Yeah. Sure. Not restrictions. But well, anyway. So we, um, we, um, we, um, For our shows, we will announce this as they happen, but for the upcoming shows in Charlotte, Atlanta, and Charleston, you will need to present proof of vaccination or proof of a negative COVID test within the prior 72 hours. This is on Ticketmaster's site. It's on our site. Rapid Test is fine. Someone asked, yeah, just like proof that you have been vaxed or you're COVID-free. This was actually Charleston Music Hall's their requirement. And we were like, well, that should be the requirement for.

at the venues. We want to keep people as safe as possible. We know nothing is 100%. You could roll up in their Vaxed, could have a breakthrough case. You know, you could have a negative test and gotten COVID on the way to the show. Like, we know that there is nothing that's 100% with this virus, but we want to try to be as safe as we are. You guys know, we're team Vax, obviously. So, Raleigh, masks are going to be required for entry. They have a mask mandate. We're not certain what's exactly being enforced inside the venue, but bring your mask no matter what. Bring your mask no matter what, anywhere, probably. I don't think a lot of the venues are going to be masks on through the show,

but again, this stuff changes all the time. Honestly, my take on it is like, we're just lucky to be able to do it. We're lucky to be able to do it at a full capacity. So that's where I stand. Like, we'll do whatever. You know what I mean? If we have to look out to a bunch of people in masks, like as long as we're out, we're having fun, we're going to be laughing.

Hopefully that's not the case, but we do want you guys vaxed or COVID-free. And if you need to get a refund, you can contact your point of purchase, but hopefully it won't be a big deal. And I don't really know many places that, you can't get test results back within 72 hours. So, I mean, there's, what is COVID testing the airport, right? You saw? I saw it.

I saw it at Pittsburgh Airport. I googled it. There's one right by the Atlanta airport. I mean, there's tons of places. And you're, grab the tests are fine, guys. It shouldn't be an issue in those cities as far as I know. If you're having an issue,

don't do you. I'm a spot. Yeah. You know what I mean? We would love to see you there, but we, you know, our priorities are safety and your safety. Yes. Yes.

So that, that's, them's the rules. What else? Other than that, this shows me fucking wild. We're going to bring you guys up on stage. We do some really crazy shit with you guys on stage. Oh my God. They're going to be insane. We have like crazy stuff happening.

Sorry, I'm cutting you off. That's okay. No, it's going to be great. This is your last call to submit story submissions. If you're going to be there, send us your wildest stories, craziest, funniest, we always do stories of people in the audience. We're going to get you up on stage. We're going to tell you're life decisions.

What you've done to just send those emails to stories at girls got eapackets.com. Subject line, name of the city. Stories at Girls Got Youatup Podcast. com. Also, guys, you know what? If you have any sexes on your phone, bring them. Have them queued up. They're already on your phone.

Just have them at the ready. Just have them ready. I'm not saying I'm going to bring you up on stage, but I might be saying. Raina might show some of her sex. I might show some of mine. I might take my tits out. It's hard. You never know.

Sex is a tough word. Sex. Sexy texts. Have a screenshot. Have them favored. That's all we're going to say. Just bring him. Just have them ready.

Don't need to send them in advance. Just have them at the show. At the red. Hennet. News. Listen. Something crazy. Bring your own new.

Bring your own B-Y-O nudes. Oh my gosh. Okay. I have a couple things to talk about. I was like, what am I going to talk about? I just like, I got tons of stuff.

Well, okay. One thing that I thought was so funny. Last week I said I had a maybe potential new crush on a guy that I thought was married. He is married. Oh, he is? Yeah, yeah. It's whatever. Okay.

I kind of thought, whatever. Why did we think he wasn't married? Because he was wearing a ring and then I was just confused. It doesn't matter. Typical. It's not a big. big deal. I got plenty of other guys in the stables. But someone

message and she said was it Dale. Because everybody was saying You can't text Dale? No, because everybody was saying they got married. I know. I thought it was so funny that she was like, tell me you're talking about Dale. Also, like, you could just text

Dale and ask him if you were married. Also, while we're here, we were going to have Dale on the podcast. We even said we were and we're not. And that is not our decision. That is actually a story to tell. And I won't I'm not going to throw shade, but I am. We're supposed to do it. And Dale and probably Claire, too. We're like, no. Yeah, maybe one day or not.

You know what? You missed your chance. Now they're dead does. Okay. And maybe we would jacked us so many times. But congrats to the happy couple. Whatever. My update is that I did take Kane home to meet my family. Yes. The entire family, like all in one shot. It was more stressful than I thought it was going to be overall wonderful. Had a great time. He gets along with everybody. He met every single family member. We were scheduled for like four nights in a row. A lot of drinking for me. He doesn't drink. But I was surprised at how stressed out

I felt because every single interaction you're like, please be nice. Like don't embarrass me. Not him. My parents. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, please don't like do something terrible. And like, I'm just like in my head like about like my mom. I'm like, can you please just ask him a question about himself? And you just have to let it go because it's not going to happen. Yeah. And I just want to make him feel comfortable. And I wanted to be like cogniz of the fact that like you are never alone for one second for four days. So like Sunday, we just took some time alone just for the two of us. And overall, it went really nice. And we went to a bar mitzvah that was sort of like a wedding. It was really over the top. We had a lot of food. And it was fun. It went really well. That's my

update, guys. It was really nice. I'm glad it went well. I, like, if you're on like a vacation and there's like drinking involved, like, you just get more tired by the day. You know what I mean? Like when we go to Dewey, like Saturday's amazing, Sunday's amazing Monday, a little more tired. Tuesday, even more tired. So for you to be kind of like trying to hype this guy, introduce him to everybody while you're kind of also just like probably dealing a little bit of a hangover. Like I can imagine that you were just probably like exhausted by the end of it.

I was run down. Day four, I was like, I have drank every single night this week. Like hard drinking and the amount of food that I was eating. Yeah. But yeah, I took a day just just to be alone for the two of us on Sunday. Like we went to brunch together, went to a museum. We walked around. It's nice to just like not make somebody feel like they have to be with family 24 hours a day.

But do you go to Pamelaus? Yeah, obviously we go to Pamelaus. My favorite restaurant in the world. Same. I do. They have like five locations in Pittsburgh. It's my favorite restaurants where I worked growing up. It's a diner.

But yes, it went well, and now we're back in New York. And that's my update, guys. It was great. He did really well. And that's it. Okay. Yeah. I don't believe it.

I guess I'm going to go on a date from some guy from Hinge. Whatever. This has been going on all day. You haven't mentioned it to me. Oh. All right. Here's a... Okay.

Yeah, like he was like, let's go out, whatever. And I gave him my number. So I have to tell you one of the funniest messages that I got from this guy. We're talking about showering outside, whatever. That's on my profile. We're going back and forth. And he goes, I dig your vibe because you are literally holding pizza or pasta in 50% of your photos, which is so...

Like, I just love the... It's so true. there's six photos three have pizza or pasta. Did you realize that? So here's the thing. I'm not trying to post like, oh, look at me. I eat so much. I love food.

But I mean, I do. Like a girl's got to eat. I mean, a show called Girls Got to Eat. All of our promo photos have food now. But it's so funny when I look at it because it is just that these happen to be my best photos. Like maybe I just thrive when there's Italian food in my hands. Like the picture of the pasta is a hello fresh photo.

I just, it's a really close up, good shot on my face. My hair is blowing in the wind. I have the pizza photo. I'm holding the pizza boxes in Dewey. I just look really carefree and cute. You took it. You were like nailed it when you took that photo. I have one of me eating the pizza at Lalapalooza with my abs out.

Like it just so happens that there's food in them. If they didn't have food, I wouldn't care. But like it looks like I'm trying to be like, I love Italian food. You know what I mean? I mean, I have food in all mine as well. And I think it's just because like a lot of our happiest moments happen with food and we look cute. And so like I'm not an Instagram influencer. or I'm not like posing all cute with a bike and a crop top.

Right. You know, I'm not how to ride a bike, so I mean, I'm never going to do that. But I mean, no pedicure picks. It's just my naked feet. But I just, I love that he goes, I dig your vibe because you're old. I dig his vibe or pasta. Also, it's just like, that's a funny response. Talk to me like that.

Okay, where are you going to go? When? Well, I don't know. We, okay, you know what? Let's just, let's like work through this. So this guy's just finding out like some things about me. And he said something like, ha, ha, like so many layers to you. outdoor showers and pasta.

What else should I know about you? And at this point, I'm like, not much more before we go out and meet in person. I like a taco and a margarita. Right. So I basically wrote like three things about me. And then, I mean, should I read them? Whatever.

I wrote, It's your show. He said, okay, what else should know about you? I said, and I set myself up, right? And gave him a little more info. I said, I love margaritas. I'm a two-time foster dog fail and will never stop laughing at four seasons. total landscaping. And that's all you get to know via this app. Okay. And I was like, shit,

does that, is that clear enough? Because you know me. I don't mind saying, let's get a drink. I wasn't trying to be coy. But I said, but you have to tell me three things about you now. He wrote a couple things that were pretty funny. And he was like, so what do you think? And I responded. Then I'm like, okay, so you got one more chance here. And he wrote one more thing back. And then he was like, shall we discuss our varied interest over drinks, perhaps margaritas. Because I knew he would bring a margaritas. That's why I said I like margaritas. You've got to give an opening. You're killing the game, bro. Thank you. And I said,

I think that sounds like a plan. My number is three. Just kidding. What if I just said my number on the podcast? Well, you guys know the first number. So you figure the rest out. Well, Delaware has one area code. So you could have figured out.

Yep. So, yeah, that's, I mean, again, like, you know what? I don't put too much weight in these. I would rather, like, meet somebody in the wild. But I got back on Hinge. I'm off and I'm on it. And then sky popped up. He looked cute.

He's cute. I was like, yeah. We'll see. You know, I'm just attracted to, like, a cool job. Yeah. I got us to talk to you about. Right. I'm excited to talk about what he does, I think.

What if he's just like boring? Then you'll never talk to him again. We'll talk about all the fuckass. Yeah. So that's, anyway, but I just, that started with me just wanting to share that funny message and it spiraled. Okay, well, stay tuned, guys. Ashley has a date. Ugh, I guess.

Okay. Is it wreck time? I'm very excited to talk about this with you. I brought up a show and Ashley, like, would not let me continue to talk about it. And I'm not sure why. And I'm very excited to hear why. I was like, have you watch clickbait on Netflix, which I am 50% of the way through. I am loving it.

It is a show with Adrian Grenier. If you guys know what entourage is, have you or two young to know what that is. But he's an actor. Basically, it's an eight-episode show. He's a father and a husband. He gets kidnapped. And the beginning of the show,

he's basically holding up this sign that says, I abuse women. And at 5 million views, I die, basically. So the video goes viral. And then there's eight episodes in each episode is sort of like narrated from the point of view of a different person in his life. And I love the way that it's done.

And I'm 50% of it's, the way through and I'm really enjoying it. I don't know how it ends. But so far, I'm like hooked. I can't wait for this to end this podcast recording so I can go home and watch more. Okay, now tell me why you're laughing. I was going to recommend clickbait sight unseen. Why? Because I just knew it would be amazing based on how many people recommended it. You know what we always say. We're normal, basic bitches. We're all inside the bell curve. If a show was popular, we're probably going to like it. So I just saw so many people recommending it to me, DMing it to me. I feel like our listeners know what we're into at this point in terms of TV and stuff like that.

So I just, and then I did watch the trailer. Netflix, you know, Netflix shows you the trailer, whether you want it or not. You know what I mean? And I was like, yeah, of course I would love the show. I'm excited to watch it. So I was going to recommend it even so I'm glad that you did recommend it. It's next on my list. What I did watch and what I did watch.

and want to recommend is He's All That. The reboot. So listen, He's All That is a remake of She's All That from the 90s. Maybe I was in high school. I don't remember. Great movie. But kind of doesn't age that well today, right? Like the concept of like, let's take this nerdy girl and turn her hot.

Like, that's not what people want to see. I mean, she just was like a hot girl. They put glasses on. And they were like, she's a loser. They took the glasses off. And everybody was like, wow. she's so hot. She was like always covered in paint.

You know what I mean? Covered in paint. What? What? I, it is funny. It doesn't age well. It doesn't age well. Artistic and wears glasses.

And people are like, she's fucking disgusting. She's like a feminist. Yeah. She's such a fucking dork. Feminism. She read a book. Yeah. So they did it with Addison Ray as the lead.

She's fine. I'm not like, you know, I've, whatever. I'm not a hater of Addison Ray. And I think she didn't decent job acting. And she kind of makes her with a guy. who does, like, they make him fucking hot. Like, she cuts his hair. I'm like, listen, I looked him up before I said this.

He is 22 in real life. But a lot of it feels the same. And they do have Rachel Lee Cook, who played the lead. And she's her mom. She's the mom. And then the principal is, I don't think this is much of a spoiler. But if you don't want to know this, you can skip ahead. So skip ahead, spoilers ahead.

The principal is Matthew Lillard. Who, Matthew Lillard. And Scream? Yeah, and scream. but he was the guy that Taylor Vaughn was like the girls, that was her name and she's all that. And Freddie Prince Jr. was the lead.

And anyway, she broke, she cheated on Freddie Prince Jr. with Matthew Liller. Remember he was just like an MTV kind of like reality show guy. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. So they, it's all just done for 2021. So she's an influencer. Courtney Kardashian is like a boss of hers kind of. That's her like.

Courtney Kardashians in it. I, I'm going to watch that. I, um, yeah. It's a cool cameo because, you know, they're friends in real life. I think Courtney, here's what I'm going to say about Courtney Kardashian. I think you can rest assured that she is who she is on keeping up with the Kardashians because she's a terrible actress. So anyway, I can't imagine her like doing any acting.

I can't watch her. So Addison Wray plays a influencer and then her boyfriend is kind of like a TikTok type influencer. And then like she catches him cheating and then she like her friends can have her makeover this guy. A lot of it really tracks. There's like a cool sister. Do you remember Freddie Prince Jr's sister? And she's all that. She was, she's a huge deal now. I forget her name. Anna Pac-win? Yeah, Anna Pac-win. So a lot of it was cool. I wish they would have gone to the beach.

They didn't go to the beach, but they went to this party. They did karaoke. Like, I remember she's all that, like, you know, top to bottom. So I was comparing everything. And yes, I prefer she's all that. That's like a classic movie or it's nostalgic for me. And I think it's a little bit better because I just don't think they made movies like they used to. But I think it was fine. I think it was really cute. And I really liked it. Okay. All right. Check it out. I want to check it out now. I think Matthew Lillard steals the show. Also, I feel like he's aged well. He looked hot. Matthew Lillard. Did you not? Well, he's like tall, lanky. Like, I was into that look.

All right. Honestly, I'm going to watch it to just watch Courtney Kardashian trying to act. Okay. Rina, can I tell you that I thought he stayed hot? She was a bad actress. And I go on Twitter to see what people were saying and people were not say that. They were like, Courtney killed it. I was like, oh, God.

I'm going to say, and I just like to say this publicly, because I haven't talked about this on the podcast. No one cares about reality, TV, and gossip, celebrity, TV, and gossip. It's all I follow. If there is an account about celib gossip, I follow it. If there's a show about it, I listen to it. I have never cared about anything less in my fucking life than Courtney Kardashian and her boyfriend.

I just, I just don't care. Really? Really. Keep on. Keep going. Why? No, just keep going. I just don't care.

I've never cared about anything. last in my entire life. I don't stay on her and Travis Barker. I just don't care. I cannot believe the way you set me up for this. Someone wrote on our post on Monday in a comment. Anyone else feel like Raina and Kane have major Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker vibes. I have, did you see it? Yeah, fucking saw it. That's such a compliment. No. Courtney Kardashian. She's like, but. So I'm not, I don't care about the Kardashians either. I do not care about Courtney and Travis. I think they are there. I think they see. seem like they're like each other's first boyfriend, girlfriend.

They like are so try hard. Whatever. I think it's cute that you're on a plane. Listen, not keep up. But I think people met because you're short and games bald. Like I think. Oh, maybe.

I think looks wise, like you guys give off that energy. Okay. I took it as a compliment for you too. I mean, I don't think our listeners would publicly comment to anything they didn't mean as a compliment. And I understand. You don't. Maybe not about you.

Maybe not about me. laugh about it. Okay, but not on our Instagram, and that was clearly met as a compliment, so thank you. Obviously, I know I'm in the minority, because, like, my best friend, Figgins, like, from Pittsburgh, she just, like, repost everything about Travis and Courtney. I'm like, I don't even know we can

be friends. And Megan and Machine Gun, yeah, that is the second couple. I care absolutely nothing about. It's just they're a little less famous as Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly. I just don't care. I think it's just this thing of, like, these beautiful women have, like, tamed these, like, bad

boys or something and people like really stay on it or maybe Courtney just seems so miserable for so many years and they're like okay well now she seems like actually happy because she seems so fucking miserable with Scott. Yeah, I think also like we have reentered into this like 90s nostalgia kind of thing and like it brings up some of that like punk rock energy kind of like this hot girl with this rock star like I think people like are kind of feeling that energy like everything's about that nostalgia these days. Channing Tatum is riding around New York. work on a BMX bike with Zoe Kravitz on the back, which I'll tell you if there was one celebrity couple, whether there are a couple or not that I care about it, and it is Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz.

I cannot stand it enough. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm like masturbated to it. I feel like anybody she gave it. I'd be into it. I think she's great. I think I'm a stand of both. You know my original Chanity Tatum's and step up. Are you your OG Channing Tatum? Yeah. How did you think about him and Jenna? Did you like them as a couple? Yeah, because a step up. Would you like them as a couple? It was fine. Jenna DeWan. It was fine. I didn't, I felt like he, you know, could, I don't know. I'm sure she's great. I don't have anything bad to say. Like, I know Jenna. But I'm like a really hardcore OG Channing Tannam fan, even though he's like a little bit of a butter face. It's just a butter smile. Does he have a butter face? It's just a smile. He needs

better serious. He's the good body. I kind of get like John Cena vibes from him. He's just cool and funny and he has great swag. He's the best. And I think Zoe Kravitz is the best. It makes me like him more that he's dating Zoe Kravitz. It gives him like a little edge. But even when you see them on the streets, they look like they're straight out of the 90s. They're out of like the grunge 90s phase, emo, they're riding to BMX bike. Like, it looks like, that's what I'm saying. So I feel like people, like, everything that kind of fits that aesthetic is what people are into.

And I think, I think that's very like Courtney Travis. Yeah. Megan. Is his name Kelly? I know his name's machine guy. I know his name's machine guy, but do we call? Do you have to say all three words? Yeah, you say all three words.

What's his real name? Machine gun and Kelly's name. His name's not Kelly. I can't believe we're doing a new show of pop culture. I'm having fun with that. Real name. Okay, guys, stay tuned. His real name is Colson Baker.

Oh, my God. You guys know that? I thought you were going to say something like Herbert or something. I mean, that guy just looks like he hates his dad. 100%. You know who he looks like? Those two guys we used to date. Like he hasn't eaten in a month.

That is what looks like. Okay. Last beef. have with somebody. A Desani, a Desani meme made the rounds this week. And it was basically, which, you know, our thoughts and prayers are with anybody who was affected by Hurricane Ida. I've posted some resources. I think there was like very low, like death toll. But of course, people lost power. People may have lost our pets. Like we were thinking of anybody who suffered from that. But there was a meme that went around that was like, like, like, bare grocery store. And it was just like Desani

on the bottom. Like, did you see it? And it was like even in a like. Even a pandemic or not a pandemic, Like even in a catastrophe. People don't want Desani. And a couple people messaged me and said, I can't remember, do you like or hate Desani? And I was like,

you don't know me at all. Like, how do you never listen? It's all I do is talking about much. I shit on Desani. She never knew me. Okay, I want to know why Desani

is the official water of the airport. Like, how do we get that? Like, Coke connections. It's Coca-Cola. They just, it's like,

it can be aquafina or polo-boring. Big water. Like Pepsi is the official, like, drink of the NFL. I don't know if that's true, but, like, Desani is the official water of all airports forever anywhere. And, like, Aquafina slips in sometimes. I can't with aquafina either. But, I mean, I don't, I will always buy, like, I'll spend $5 on, like, a Fiji or a smart water because I'm not drinking that. But you know that, like, everybody's trying to buy water on the cheap.

Like, a Tasani's got to be, like, three cents for a bottle of Desani. So the airport's just, like, order three million cases. We don't care. you know what I mean? I'm trying, I fuck with Poland Springs exclusively. I love Poland Springs. Also, I love Deer Park. I'll fuck with Deer Park. I fuck with it exclusively.

When I'm in Florida, Delaware, Florida. I know local, too. I forget there's a Colorado one. No, I don't know. We still record a whole episode. Okay. One more thing. We just feel like we would be remiss if we didn't discuss this.

You know, Rain and I, we have a comedy podcast about sex and dating and relationships. We can't tackle every world issue. We're not going to really dive into foreign policy a lot on this podcast. We do feel like a board. is something that we feel so strongly about in women's rights, abortion rights. We've had done a whole episode on it. If you want to go back and listen with Dr. Mira Shaw, and it's something that we feel so strongly and passionately about.

So, I mean, what's happened recently in Texas just is like a full-blown war on women, the most restrictive, cruelest abortion laws that have ever been passed, the Supreme Court had a chance to knock it down and they didn't. And it's just a tragedy. And it's just so sickening and heartbreaking. And I don't necessarily, I don't. have the answer. You know what I mean? Like I think it's like so much is fucked up in the world and I'm just continually trying to stay updated on what you can do. And you can always call your lawmakers

and let them know how you feel. But like where to donate. There was an act blue link that I donated to and it your donation went to I think like 11 different abortion funds in Texas. So there's different things I posted some. I'll continue to post more. It's out there. This information's out there. Everybody's posting this like we're recording this today as it happened. So it's still kind of like fresh news to us. But we wanted to at least address it. And so. So donate, tell your lawmakers how you feel like this just this fucking sucks because states like Texas and Alabama, they always try to pull shit like this, but usually it doesn't go through because we had a Supreme Court that didn't let it happen before.

So, you know, our thoughts are with the women of Texas and the hypocrisy is fucking disgusting. And these, it's just like the people that don't want to wear masks. They're like, my body, my choice are the same people that are like wanting to control women's bodies. I could go on and on about all the hypocrisy. But whatever. But it makes me sick. And, you know, anyone who feels affected by this, you're in our thoughts.

And we'll continue to post resources and stuff like that. But we at least wanted to give some air time to it. Yeah. Okay. That co-send everything I should say. You said it beautifully. I don't have anything else dad. Thanks.

I just feel like I kind of blacked out and just took it. I was like, wow, she's just doing it. I didn't prepare. Do you want to introduce our topic today? Yeah, I'm excited. It's just us today. And this was inspired by somebody who gave me some advice. And I was like, you literally have no right to give me this advice.

So we were talking about the worst dating advice and the worst sex tips that people have given you and how they go horribly wrong and advice you shouldn't take from people and who you should take advice from. And so that inspired this. And we asked you guys, what's the worst dating advice you've ever gotten? We asked you for your worst sex tips. We're going to read some stories later. But that is what today's episode is about. Yeah. Yeah. So we were talking about this. Rayna was telling me that she had talked to two people about something in her relationship. And I was like, those people both gave you advice based solely on the experience that they've had. Like without taking anything else into account

and I think that is where people go so wildly wrong in any type of advice-giving situation, whether it's career, diet, health, like a relationship, sex. Like it's self-absorbed. I'm not saying that the people who do it are all self-absorbed, but it's self-absorbed to only give people advice based on your personal experience

without taking into account any, you know, universal knowledge. human behavior knowledge. You know what I mean? Like I think what we try to do is always share personal experiences. You guys want to hear our personal experiences, but also is always try to say that everybody's different. This is how this happened for me,

but it does not mean that's going to happen that way for anybody else. Like taking into people's account, like their life experience, like where they grew up, their privilege, their gender, their age, like all those types of things. And just keeping in mind that everybody is so different. And there are some things that always apply, you know? Like when people ask me for advice, I... hear them. If I, if I experienced something similar, I would like obviously discuss that if it,

if it came up and it was applicable. But I'm always trying to think of like, okay, well, here's what I know about men, sex, cheating, psychology of how people's brains works, love languages, attachment theory, like all those things where I think where people just go so wrong is like it's really bad. It's kind of, I feel like it's into a lot of the like life coach type of people that are out here coaching other people based solely on their experience. I mean, there's conventional wisdom that it will apply to a lot of things. And I think in general, most people are well-meaning. So, like, when you're taking advice from your mother who's 35 years older than you

or somebody who's only been in one relationship since they're 22 years old, they've been with one person for 15 years and no one else, everybody's well-meaning. But I think that when you start to feel bad about the advice that people are giving you, it's good to remember, like, they're giving advice from their specific point of view. This is something that works specifically for them. In one scenario, I am different. I'm socioeconomically different. My gender's different.

My age is different. So you can take people's advice with a grain of salt. But like, yeah, I would take mine and actually's advice over most people is because we've read every text on earth about the theories about how we love

and why we love and we interview people for a living. And I still, we've interviewed every person that's an expert in this field over four years. I still would not deign to say somebody, do this. Leave your partner do this. Or, you know, this thing will work.

And we'll talk about like playing games with people, but like it's like a one-size strategy for one situation all the time. Right. And I do think there are some quote unquote rules, but then there are still exceptions to those rules. You know what I mean? And I always want to like hammer that home.

I feel like with the family episode, I couldn't say enough. I'm like, I don't feel like this, but you could because you have a totally different family than me. You know what I mean? Like it's just so, I'm not, this isn't to gas each other up.

I just, the point before we really get into all this is like, you're going to know when people give you advice like that because it's going to sound like very definitive answers, advice, solutions, whatever it may be, because, well, that's what worked for me and Chad. You know what I mean? Like someone's saying, oh my gosh, you cannot move in too early because of this, this and this. Because me and my relationship, like, they make it about them and they center themselves. And that's

when you're like, you just like, let him talk, but you're like, I'm not listening. Because it's just you know, oh my God, you cannot sleep with him yet because for me and my experience, like, it's like, okay. Well, with Brad and I just kept chasing him and I just kept showing up. And I just showed him every bar he went to. And eventually, like, I wore him down. It's like, that's great for you and Brad. I'm so, and there's just some people I wouldn't talk about dating advice from. Like, my brother, I think, is my sister-in-law, his wife, they have one of my favorite relationships. I aspire to be in a relationship like them. They've been together for 10 years. They love each other so much that this perfect couple and I, but they've been together.

They were 22. They've never done dating apps. They've never been single. They've never moved to a new city and been completely on their own. You know, they've always had this partnership. They've grown up together. They have the ideal relationship, but I'm not asking them for dating advice, you know, because their life experience is nothing like mine. You chose your partner at 22. You moved in together after living apart for like three or four years at an age when everybody moves in together. We're a different gender. We're a different age. It's just I'm not, even though I think that they're like so smart and I love their relationship, I'm not asking for relationship advice because you know nothing about what it's like to be in your mid 30s and be single. Right.

No idea. I wouldn't ask somebody for relationship advice. that is a couple that lives in a small town that has nothing in common with my life and my experience. And I'm like, so how do you guys make it work? Like, it wouldn't apply. And like another other generational advice. Like, my mom is 70 years old. Like, I mean, both, my parents aren't out here trying to, like, hammer dating advice

into me at this point. I mean, they think, they know that I got this. But, you know, somebody that's like such a different generation that grew up without the internet and dating apps. Like, I don't want to say that like they don't understand conventional wisdom because people are people, you know, and I think people want the same things, no matter how old they are. But the avenues to get there and the amount of opportunities and options that exist for our generation, what our generation wants from a partner is wildly different than what my mom and her generation

wanted and how many options they had. And you can't take, you just, what, your mom, your aunt, your grandma, like, I think you can thank those people. They're well-meaning and you can just say, like, your life has nothing to do with my life. That's it. So, like, don't let it bother you or upset you when all these people are like, my relationship's so perfect. And this is what, like, me and Chad did. And it's just like, that worked for you guys. And how many people do I know in my life that, like, have been super smug about their relationships

and then broke up? So, like, you do what's right for you because you are you and only you know what it's going to work for you. Right. And every situation has, like, nuance and context and everything's so different. There is some stuff that kind of just applies across the board. Sending out a text on an app, like, let me know when you're free, would love to grab a drink. It's going to work or it's not going to work. And I feel comfortable, like, spouting off that advice. The same with kind of Jared-free type advice. You know what I mean? It's kind of like, we're all kind of the same. You know, yeah, everybody could be different and triggered in certain ways, but there is some kind of universal things that like most people can kind of say, well, work, or it won't. And back to

people who have a different lifestyle, they're of a different generation. Like, we're obviously not saying that those people can't give incredible wisdom, knowledge, advice, like that goes without saying, especially if they have the qualifications to do so. We just mean people who base everything they say in a very confident, immovable fashion based singularly on their own experience and nothing else for your individual situation. You know what I mean? Or all these canned responses, we'll get into them. But like, it'll happen when you least expected or like, you know, just play hard to get.

It's like, did you read that on like a bumper sticker? Like this doesn't apply to me. Like this like one size of like this is, this is how you do this thing. Like, well, that's not how life works. Just, you know, take people's advice with a green assault. And everything, like I think about this, like, this is dating today, dating advice, but like while we're on the topic, like, I think about this so much with people's bodies, like, because people, you know, they want to be healthier or they might want to, like, lose weight or get more fit. And it's like, I see health coach type people, like, I see people do it really well and I see people do it so poorly because they're basing it based on their personal body when we're all so different. We all do, like, different shapes and, like, metabolisms and all this stuff. And like, Kate Kennedy does a great job with kind of, kind of, calling out a lot of the life coaching type things. I mean, obviously she did a huge deep dive on Rachel Hollis.

Like, anyway, I think she was a great follow in that kind of arena of like a lot of this is bullshit, you know, career. Like I got to this thriving business. It's like doing what? And like how much, like tell me more about your quote unquote thriving business in the first place. You're coaching other people. Like it's just, I've been loving her lately in terms of like kind of putting on blast a lot

of this stuff because this shit can like really impact people's lives for the worst. 100%. our friend Emily Fedner, who is a great account about food. But she posted this thing today and was talking about how, like, you look at all these influencers that have, like, left their jobs and taken a risk to become a fashion influencer. And like, you look at them and you're so jealous. But like, I don't know that that advice applies to everybody.

Just like, take a risk and quit your job. It's like, well, do you have a trust fund from your parents? Like some of these fashion influencers. Right. Have a safety net. Yeah, because their parents have a house in the Hamptons. Yeah. And how do you think they got all that clothing in the beginning? I totally agree with that.

I mean, people ask me sometimes like a simple question. and like, well, how did you grow, how did you build this viral Instagram account? How did you start this podcast? It was popular on day one. I'm like, I cannot answer that without telling you my whole life story because I didn't build it from scratch. All this other stuff was like building blocks on top of this. So I can't tell you how to start from Ground Zero without a platform or without a blog or like, I've always had, I've always struggled with like people asking me for some sort of like secret or tip where I'm like, I cannot answer that without a lot of background info because, that wasn't my experience. You know what I mean?

100%. I mean, I had one of the biggest food blogs in the United States, but I was a waitress since I was 14. I worked in restaurants my entire life. I went to culinary school or for the best restaurant tours in New York. All I've ever spent my money on is food. It's all I've ever cared about ever. I also started that account when no food Instagram accounts existed. Like I was right place, right time. I had the right knowledge. Like it's some of its luck, some of it's hard work. I can't tell you how to do it. I know. Right. Like the luckiest part of, like, what's the last thing I'm going to say?

Like people always ask about like it's luck versus hard work. I feel like it's a mix of both always. And I feel like the luckiest thing that never happened was me meeting you. That's the luckiest part of our business. What if I didn't meet you? What if I just did this with somebody else? Why are we going on this work? I don't know.

I think it applies. It's like follow your dreams. Like take advice with a grain of salt when somebody's like, you know, just follow your passion. And the money will follow. It's like, I don't know. Do you have the money to follow your passion? Like don't feel bad when you see these people being like, just follow your passion. And you have no money in your bank account.

Right. Realistic. God, that's such a good call. Like, if I took the leap, it's like, your parents are rich. Your parents took the leap, okay? But it's like if my brother was like, just put yourself out there. I did and I found my wife. It's like, yeah, you were a hot, rich, 24-year-old white man, 22, whatever.

He wasn't rich back then, whatever. You know what I mean. I am in my mid-30s and the advice from a man in his early 20s does not apply to me. Right. Or my brother, hell, he's like, my brother who just got hit on, I don't know, 300 times a night. You got to have his pick. That's not my experience, Matt. Not that Matt's trying to give me the dating device.

Right. Neither of our brothers are trying to stay. You had it pretty easy. Six, seven bartender. Right. Or my mom who's 70. It's like, you picked a partner,

but you don't want the same things in a partner as I do. We're in a different generation. So anyways, we've beaten this. That was a rant for the ages. All right. So we were talking about worst dating advice and just like the crazy shit people will say to you.

And we asked you guys to tell us what is the worst dating advice you've ever gone. You guys submitted really funny one-liners. And then we're going to read through them and we're going to pick them all apart. So do you want to kick them off? Yes, I'll kick it off. I'm just going to run through a few of these. Too fast, too loud. But all men are the same. Just pick one. If you kept your man sexually pleased, he wouldn't cheat. Trying too hard is off-putting so you should just sit back and wait. You'll find someone when you stop looking. It will happen when you least expect it. Don't be quick to answer text. You will seem needy. Play the game. Maybe you're trying too hard for guys out of your

league. Go for what your heart wants. Then you'll I wrote, bitch my heart. What's fuck boys? Wait three days to text after her first date. Don't get me started. Don't eat too much. It's off-putting. Play down your intellect so he doesn't feel dumb. Guys don't like funny girls. So let him be the funny one and stick it out. Just see what happens. Yeah. Okay. Forever. Welcome to your long road. Yeah. Don't tell men about your trauma. Even your long-term partner. They don't want to hear it. He'll change. He's just shy. Keep trying. Talk as little as possible. It makes two more mysterious. I feel like if any if a guy wanted any of these things, like I'd just be out.

It's okay if he doesn't suck toes. How did that one get in there? Somebody was just, it was like for me, because they're like you ugly feet. If you don't cry over him, you never cared. Downplay your career and success. Those things are intimidating to men. Go to support groups for people who have lost their spouses to diseases. Why diseases?

First of all, Ashley just thought it was like to go to support groups if you lost your spouse. And she's like, why'd you put this on her? deleted it and Randy goes, no, wait a minute. Read that back. What kind of person would give you that kind of advice? That's insane. All right, you can keep going. Oh, you want to keep going?

Sure. Rand doesn't like to read as much as me. Okay. Date someone the complete opposite of you. Give as many blow jobs as you want, but don't have sex. And that's from her brother. Have you tried church or the grocery store to meet men? That's from her dad.

Sex is something a man needs and it's a woman's job to give it to him. That's from her aunt. Well, he is a man after all. That's from her grandma. That's not all the same girls. Just these girls. six likes on the gram from Jared Freed. Be a bitch to guys. They love it. Once you lose weight, you'll get a man. Gross.

You have to give it time. Gross advice. Sorry, to clarify. You have to give it time. Attraction can grow. Pretend you don't care. Save your marriage by having children. Don't shave before a date so that you definitely won't sleep with them. Listen, that is a good tip. Because you will actually get laid. Stop being so picky. Maybe your standards are too high and you're getting too old. so you might as well settle. And she said, I'm 24, but I'm from Georgia. Listen, I had to leave Georgia because of that shit. The thing that came up so much, like probably the number one thing that came up was this whole, like,

don't try so hard, he'll come when you least expect it. And it's just like, I hate this passive. So, okay, let me back up. I think a lot of these things are probably rooted in some good wisdom. It's just the way that you're expressing it is wrong. Don't try so hard. He'll come when you least expect it. Like, don't be like, don't be like, don't be this aggressive.

or like, you know, just relax. I think it just means like try to enjoy your life a little bit more and don't be so, like, focused on this. But like, for people that are like, but I want to come here and I want to be in a relationship. This whole like, he'll come when you least expect it. When you're not looking at all, it's like, okay, but I want to be looking because I want to be an active participant in my life. I want to be on the offense.

And so I do want to try. And when you boil it down, the good part of advice that's sort of on the flip side of this is like, just live your life, have hobbies, go out. Be busy. Be good at your job. Like say yes to a lot of things. Go to whatever it is that you people go to. Work out classes and amusement parks and restaurants. And like, he'll come along.

If you put yourself in social situations, if you don't seem like desperate, you'll meet people. So I think that like you can flip that advice and that's probably what people mean a little bit. But as a single person for somebody to say like, stop trying. I'll just come when you least expected.

It's like, shut up. Okay. I love everything you said. Go off, Queen. I love the thing of you saying it's like rooted, potentially and like good advice. Like, yes, of course. Like always like,

this is tricky because also just do whatever the fuck you want. You know, there are so many people that probably swore off dating. They weren't looking. They were just living their life. They were traveling the world. They were killing it their career, whatever. And they did meet somebody.

Like, I get it. And it can happen. There are also people who made dating their job and treat it like a job search and one and a million dates and realized it was a numbers game and found their partner too. So it's just, it's whatever.

Like it's whatever works. Like I love a lot of the guests we've had in the show. John Berger, his quote is in his book Make Your Move. It's better to choose than to be chosen. Like sit back and wait is not advice by any stretch. I love Shambutti's advice. You're in the driver's seat. Take control of your dating life and your sex life.

Like I love all of that. We'll always say to live your life outside of a guy. Like the bad advice is to like sit around and wait. You know what I mean? And like, but the good advice is to like live your best life, but also like be open and explore. opportunities, you know, like it happens when you least expect it. Yeah, sure, okay. Like, who is every day going out? Like, today I'm going to be my husband. But also, someone probably

went out and said, today I'm going to be my husband. And then they did. Yeah. It'll happen when you stop looking, but I want to look. Right. Right. I don't like, you know, a lot of people like, I don't want to be single. I want to be with somebody. I want to come home to someone every night. I want to look. I want to look. And again, I cannot stress enough. I love that quote that it's better to choose and to be chosen. And so I think ultimately, we take that advice off the table because is what I don't want is someone to think that that is the holy grail of advice. And then they find themselves looking and they're like, but wait, this isn't how it's going to happen.

No, wrong. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like you hear it enough. Like it's not going to happen if you, like a watch pot never boils kind of shit. You know what I mean? It's like it's not true. It's not true.

You can be trying. You can be actively dating, trying, looking for that person and you could find them. A hundred percent. It happens all the fucking time. Yeah, I feel like I was always actively looking for somebody in the sense that like I want to find a partner. I'm open to it.

But I went and lived my fucking life, you know? Yeah. I think that that's the advice that you should take from that. It's not when you're when you stop looking. It's like when you just start living your life and enjoying what you're doing and you go on a date when it feels right and you won't go on a day when you don't. Like so many, how many people are out here dating when they hate it? Like so many people are just like they go on dating apps and they're like, I hate talking to people. I have this date tonight.

I don't want to do it. Then don't. Exactly. That was like something I was going to say too. It's just like if you feel burnt out, stop. Like, you know what I mean? Do not feel like you need to be out there. And like you said, like, when you are living your best life and you're not like so

desperate for a partner, but you're totally open. Like you become a more attractive person to potential partners. You know what I mean? Like I think like you said, it's rooted in this like, don't be desperate and needy and singularly focused, I guess. Yeah. Because we, I mean, you and I have seen people like that. And those people attract bad people.

Like those people attract people that are going to manipulate you, take advantage you. They want somebody weak. They want somebody that they can manipulate. And you're going to attract the wrong people when you're just like, I want this. My need to be in a relationship supersedes any other need in the world. My need for X thing supersedes it. Like, you know, I need to find somebody with money. Supersedes finding somebody who's nice to me.

You'll attract those people. You will. You will. Not good people to attract. And then you'll have to change yourself, which is another piece of bad advice. Thank you for segue. I think a lot of women live in this world where, like, people are just constantly telling them like be less.

Like we, women have said to us over the years, like are men intimidated by my success or by my boldness. And you can only be what you are. You know, if you're talkative, if you are successful, if you make money, if you love to eat and, you know, you just want to like power if you you want to do like a bang bang two restaurants. Like you only can be who you are and ultimately the person is going to date who you are. So they have to like you. I think women are just constantly being told to like be less. Don't be the funny one. Men don't like it. Don't be so smart. Men are intimidated by it. Don't talk so much. You know, men don't like that. Be mysterious. And it's, I think that like the overall advice is don't be an asshole.

If you're successful, you don't need to tell somebody how successful you are. Let them see. They'll find out. Yes. I love that too. I mean, be yourself always, but like, I don't know. I try to be aware. Like, I try, you know, we can sit in this room, you, me and Rob, and we can talk about the big things that we're doing and the money we're making and stuff like that. That's not talk to date conversations. You know what I mean? Right away. Like that's like I don't need to peacock. You know, you'll figure it out as we get to know each other. And if we don't get to know each other further than this first date and you don't really

know about my success, then I don't give a fuck. You'll probably see me on the internet one day. You know, like I think it's kind of like stay aware, you know, because I don't think really many people like that type of like peacocking braggadocious. And like, I am aware how much I talk on a first date. I have really kept a lot of Matthew Hussey's advice on the cadence and the pauses and of like not rushing in after soon as someone to finish is something like taking a beat and like to create that chemistry like I'm trying to be a little better about it because I understood what

he said and I'm not trying to change who I am like I'm not trying to be less talkative, not saying things that I want to say but I'm I don't know I'm just I'm staying aware of it. You know what I mean? And so again like all these all this terrible advice. There can be some like good tips low key in there somewhere. But we just did this article with Bustle on date tips. one thing that you wrote was like, make sure you're balancing, talking about yourself as well as asking about questions of them, you know, because I could talk about myself forever.

But I think sometimes you just have to be aware, you know, like, okay, am I talking too much? Am I being too loud? Not in a way that it's bad, but just like, I want to be a good participant in a social setting, just like I'd want to be on a date. You know what I mean? And that's not like women need to be quiet. I'm just like, Ashley, are you being too loud? You know, maybe you should take a beat and listen to what other people are to say.

Yeah, just feel the situation out. like be like read the room you know like this advice of like don't tell people about your trauma they don't want to hear about don't tell them about your trauma on your first date like and I think that you can like talk about things that are happening in your life and maybe like don't cry on dates one three you know I think there's ways to finesse all this stuff I'm the same way like I will just I will give the keys to the kingdom away in the first hour I'll tell you everything about myself because I'm an open book our our career has thrived because I'm an open book you know I'll talk about anything but not everybody is comfortable with that

all the time. And you can leave people wanting a little bit more. Like somebody doesn't need your whole life story. And I forget which guest said this to us. I forget it was shambo dram or somebody. But when we said, you know, are men intimidated by your success? And whoever the guest was says, well, it depends on how you talk about that success. Like women said, like, are men intimidated that I'm successful and I make a lot of money? And it's like, well, how do you talk about that stuff and be conscious of that? You know, are you telling somebody how much money you make? Are you saying I'm the most successful, are you letting them kind of figure that out on their own? Because all of this stuff is finesse, you know? Like, you can talk about whatever you want. Just like, how are you talking about it?

Yeah, there is like a fine line of quote unquote advice on like the way to be on a date because you're not, I don't want to tell people not to be themselves. It's not that. You know what I mean? But I think if I was sure if I could observe dates sometimes, I would be like, whof, this person on this date should have taken it down a notch. You know what I mean? Like not they should have made themselves small. I'm talking about the guy or the girl or the girl, whatever it is, whatever kind of relationship. But like, alcohol can be in the mix too. And you can just, people can get too chatty. They spill too much. They fucking cry. You know, like, it isn't necessarily attractive. It's true. I know some people that are like, I was just like sarcastic and funny. And it's like,

were you negging them? Yeah. Was it mean sarcasm? Because like I've seen, like, sometimes like, you know, you'll read your friend's text to other people and your friend reads it in their voice, but you read it and how a normal person's voice would read it. And you're like, that was it. My friend, like, she was making fun of this guy for the way he spelled his name on a dating app. His name is Jeff, but he spelled a GEO, F, whatever. And, like, right out of the gate, she was like, oh, you're one of like those people that spells your name in a stupid way. And I was like, I would never talk to you again. Yeah, I don't want to be nagged.

Yeah. If somebody said to me, like, the way that you spell Raina is actually R-E-I-N-A idiot, I'd be like, okay, then fuck off. Yeah. So, like, are you being funny and playful? Are you being sarcastic and nagging somebody and they don't like it? Like read the room. Right. Because, I mean, there is always, like, room for improvement.

We're not perfect. Like, I look back at, like, the way I used to act on, like, a date, for example, or in a job situation, you know, 10 years ago, it's mortifying. You know what I mean? Like, I'm glad that I had bosses and, you know, guys I've dated, like, people to, like, tell me how I'm coming across, put me in my place. They weren't saying, like, Ashley, make yourself small. Don't be successful.

Don't be loud. But they were kind of like, here's how you come across. I'm like, noted. You know what I mean? Like, I just want to. Yeah. advice is helpful. You know what I mean?

That's why I'm trying to tow this line and not be like, go out there and be whoever you want. Like everybody can be a little cooler, right? Well, okay, so here's a good example. Like my friend Melanie, I worked with her group on and she like forwarded me these emails that I sent to like the CEO of the company. And they were like very like,

he needs to apologize to me. Like I think I'm such a bad bitch. I think I'm so in charge. It is so cringy what I was saying to the person who is my boss. And I, like, remember the conversations he would say to me. And, like, now I feel like through his advice and through her making fun of me for these emails, things like that.

Like, I can still put somebody in their place. And I can still tell somebody that I know better than them. And I don't have to do it in a way that, like, degrades somebody. It makes them feel stupid. It makes me look like a little bitch. And I think that, like, you can be yourself and still be a better, like, the best version of yourself. And don't change anything about yourself.

But, like, just be aware of how you come off. Yeah. I love that. Oh, okay. I mean, all the game stuff, like the three days of tax, man, I can't, I'm going to reference this article again. Like, we just did this article with Bustle. I don't know when it's coming out. But hopefully they just print everything we wrote up. I'd be really proud of it. I really had fun doing it. Ray and I kind of clapped on this like date article. And we love Bustle. And it was like, are people still doing? The question was like, are people still doing the 72 hour rule, which is three days. And it's like, who, no, I hope not. Like, I'm sorry. I, you and I mean, we, we fucking date. Like we hook up, we date, you know, for so long. Like if someone waits three days after a date, first of all, it's like, I'm never going to hear from him. Any guy that's ever been successful with is contacting me.

Sometimes that night when they get home. In the Uber. Or the next morning. Like, I feel like it's an automatic not going to work out because you had to do that, right? You had to wait. You had to make a decision to play that game. And if not, then you didn't make an impact on that person at all. You know what I mean?

Like if you want a day with somebody, you have fun, you have a great time, you really connect. And they wait three days to get in touch with you. I guess there are exceptions to the rule where they were just super busy. Something crazy happened. Somebody died. Okay, fine. I'm saying if that wasn't the case, their day was just as normal, it was pretty relaxed. No fires at work.

Nobody died. They either didn't think about you once and then thought maybe like before the weekend they might get late or something. or they were purposely waiting because they thought that's like what you're supposed to do. I don't want either. Bye. I don't want it.

And so like I think that that rules kind of out the window. I don't think it's maybe, I don't know people that are doing that. I don't know guys that are doing that. Like we have tons of awesome cool guy friends. They don't do. Like it just feels so antiquated and stupid. At the worst,

the best case scenario about I hear between three days, it's just that they were too oblivious to think it was a nice thing to thank me for my time. And I don't want that guy either. Yeah. It's just, it's bizarre. This whole, like, act like you don't care, play games. Like, why don't you just go out and live your life?

Why don't you just, like, have a life that's fun, have friends, have hobbies, have activities, go to shit, make plans. And then, like, you won't care. You won't be sitting next to your phone. It won't be so imperative that this person texts you. Like, you don't have to play games. You could just play the game. Like, just go out, live your life.

And it'll be exciting when you're from somebody. I think you should text somebody when you feel like it. I think you should not text somebody you don't feel like it. If you're walking to your car 20 seconds after a date, something was funny, I had fun tonight, fire it off. Like, who doesn't want to hear I had a great time? You don't have to text them 30 times the next day. But like a great, I had fun tonight.

Like, who doesn't want to hear that? And like, I have just found throughout my dating life, it's been a lot of men. If a man doesn't like you, no amount of playing games is going to get them to like you. Like, you, I guess, can, like, manipulate them and hope it works. You can, like, parade around with other men and pose thirst traps and, like, whatever. But if somebody's not into you, like, like no amount of fucking around and like waiting three days is going to make them wake up and realize how special you are. Yeah. And it's just also like it's two layers. Like I feel like

this usually applies to like a first date, right? Like if you, if you've been got a couple dates with somebody, then they're waiting three days. What is going on here? But like first day with somebody, you know what I would say. I think you're fine to ghost. If you don't hook up, you don't let them inside you. You don't touch mouths. You go on a couple drink day with a stranger from an app. You don't talk to them again. Listen. That's, that's a lot. You don't. You don't talk to them again. Listen, that's just my take. It's still nice. I still think it's also nice if they contact you to be like, I just don't think see a connection here. I don't think ignore, but I think you can both mutually ghost. I want to date with somebody that was like terrible a couple years ago. He never

contacted me again. I never contacted him. And I felt totally great. Yeah. I'm like, who cares? But if you go on a date with a stranger and then you spend an evening together, you do a couple drinks, you do dinner, whatever, and you have a nice time, three days later, I don't remember you. Like, why, why are you waiting? You don't want to be top. And a mind. Like, who are you? Don't you have anything funny to say over the next 72 hours about what we talked about? I am interesting as shit. I fucking banter with me. Yeah. It's just, it's weird. And I mean, just, the rules are so old and they're rooted in bad science, too. Like, that's another thing that I love what John Berger said. Like, all the game playing and stuff, like,

you know, men chasing women. Like, a lot of it's just rooted in, like, bad experiments. If you want to be a bitch and that gets guys for you, fine. If you want to like fuck with people and post-lacters traps and you want to look like that kind of person, that's fine. But like, I don't know, I would rather just like be myself to do what feels fun. Hopefully they like it. If they don't, I'll fucking date somebody else, you know? I mean, yeah, absolutely. And I mean, with all this stuff, of course, like we said, there's exceptions to the rule.

There's people who went out with somebody didn't hear from them for two weeks and now they're married. Like, I have a friend that happened to her, you know? But when it comes to like the telling people this bad advice, what we're talking about today and playing games, like that's the kind of what we're talking about. And like you said, some of it actually has some like good advice, but it's just gotten like so blown out of proportion to these like extremes. Like men love bitches. It's like, I think what they mean is like they like girls that got their own shit going on and they're cool and they're not like desperate for you. Right. Yeah. Is that a bitch? Yeah. Like I, you know what I mean? Or some then do really want to

be like emasculated constantly. I'm probably not going to date them. But like I also think that like we talked about as Matthew Hussey, like the same piece of dating advice applied to different people will have completely different results. Like I believe in being pretty honest. If I'm into you, I'm going to text to you. I'm going to tell you I'm into you. Not every second. But like, I tried something with a guy about a year ago. I was like, I'm super into you. He seemed to respond really well to it. And then he completely ghosted out of my life. And I was like super upset about it. But like with Kane, I also was just like upfront and honest. And I pursued him a little bit. and I like to check in and text him, and it did work out.

So, like, every, you apply the same advice to 100 different people. You get 100 results. Be, like, I mean, be yourself. That's pretty broad, too, but more like act in a way that you're happy and proud of yourself. Yeah. You know what I mean? That you can look back and be like, I like that I did that. Yeah.

And you can operate with dignity. If yourself is terrible, don't be yourself. Good word. I want to make this quick. But the sex stuff, whatever, guys. We beat this. to death. You want to wait, wait. You want to fucking the first night. Fucking the first night. I personally am not really trying to have sex to somebody

that I don't totally feel confident that I'm going to hang out with them again. And sometimes that's just a feeling that I have. You know what I mean? Like, I've been there before where I had sex with somebody, never heard from again. It feels like shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's done. So, but I've had sex with guys first night and we've been boyfriend, girlfriend, you know? So it's just like, so of you. So again, it's just people that say, you have sex with someone too early. They will not want to date you. They will not want to wipe you up. Not true. So they want to respect you. I don't know. If you don't respect me because I wanted to have fun and I was doing these. Well, I don't respect you either. Okay. I don't respect

you because you got naked and had sex with me. You're slut too. Yeah. So do whatever you guys want. I'm with Ashley. I mean, I don't think it ever hurts to like wait a couple days. Like, whatever. If you want to fuck on the first date, it'll want to fuck on the third day. Like, and I think that there have been scenarios where like I've slept with somebody and I like got ghosted and that like really hurts and it sucks. But like, I don't know if I'm having fun and I'm feeling it and I feel like he really likes me and then they never talk to me again after we have sex. Like then you're not a nice person. That's nothing to me. And again, everybody's different. And like some people can sleep with someone and never hear from them and it doesn't affect them.

It affects me. And I'm not going to try to act like I'm so hard. You know, like it's just like, you're not out here being a bad bitch. It just, it hurts my feelings. If you like saw me naked, you never talked to me again. Like it's happened so few. few times, but the few times it's happened, I'm not, I don't like it. And that's just me. I also changed throughout my life. Like I think when the stakes were a little bit lower, when I was like in college, I was wrapping up dudes, fucking all these people. Like, I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I'll fucking do it every day. What do I care? Okay. But now I feel like the people that are like in my life, I view them more as like a long term partner. So I'm like,

okay, the stakes are a little higher, you know? So if I'm going to sleep with you, I want to feel like I like you. You know, I know you, who cares? Guys, just do whatever you want. It's just nice to hear from somebody if you got fucking naked with them. You know, like, I slept with somebody after your birthday, and I just, you know, I think maybe mutually we were like, that was really fun, but we're not going to date maybe. And we still texted the next day. What? Yeah, right.

You know me. I don't date you. Like, come on. Like, we texted the next day and we've, you know, we like each other's stuff on Instagram. and that's great. I don't feel like used and thrown out. And I don't want someone to feel like that either to me. Like I don't, vice versa.

I don't want someone to feel like I fuck them and never want to hear from them again. You know what I mean? Like that was a true one night stand, but we can, I'll say what's up. We can, I'd hug the guy if I saw him in a bar. And that feels nice. You know what I mean? Yeah, we're out. It's summertime.

We were on a boat tonight. Yeah. We just want to get naked together. I don't have any ill feelings. But if I never heard from him again, like fuck you. I agree. It is rude. Okay, let me ask you.

You're going to pop off. Oh, God. When somebody's like, opposites attract. It's somebody totally different than you. Okay, what do you think? Opposites attract. I mean, well, I'll reference our episode called Are We Too Different, which I love. That was their big episode.

Yes, that was in June of 2020. Oh, my gosh. We could deep dive on this, maybe on another whole episode. But I don't know, I don't know what the fuck people mean by this. I think it's a bunch of bullshit. I think, I think sameness can create bored of. and if you like all the same things, I think everyone knows where I stand,

different hobbies and having different friend groups and traveling without your partner, with your girlfriends, with your guy friends. Like I think that creates chemistry, being apart from each other. We've talked about this a million times. We've talked about with so many experts. So that, that, that, like,

I like to do some different stuff than you. You know what I mean? But there comes a point where, like, we don't, we're not compatible. Like, a guy that lives in Montana and wants to be outdoorsy and camp every weekend is not going to work with me as much as we might have some sexual attraction, but it's kind of very unrealistic hallmark movie bullshit to me that like a city girl meets this

small town guy. You don't have the same type of life that you want to live. You probably have some different types of values. Like it can, I guess, I don't know what people exactly mean, but I think sometimes there is this weird image of like big city, small town person, you know, like different, you know, lifestyles. And I don't know how those things really match up. but they totally can also. But I think that movies and TV, pop culture has just sort of romanticize some of these unrealistic concepts like opposites attract. It's just not really how life works.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think that like it can always work, but do I think it makes it harder when you have socioeconomic backgrounds that are different? You've education differences. You've differences in how you want to live your life. And what kind of things are the most important things to you? I mean, that guy dated in Charleston. I was wildly attracted to him.

I had fun with him. He was so hot. he was a Southern Christian boy who wanted to live like a really small town life. And the things that were important to me were important to him, but he would never have understood one thing about my life long term. And we have none of the same long term goals. And that's okay. His goals are great.

And my goals are great. The way that we were raised is totally different. And that's fine. But like that would never been a long term partner for me. I'm sure that like there's Southern Christian small-town boys that I could date. He wasn't one of them. Totally different backgrounds. I grew up in the East Coast.

I'm a Jew. I want to be like this big success. I think he wants to like go live on a boat with his two dogs for rest of his life. Great. And he can find tons of girls that want to do that with him. Yeah. So I don't know. I mean,

you could probably interview a bunch of people and everybody would have a different definition of what that means, of what opposites attract means. I mean, I think some things are important in like maybe how people react. For example, you and I are different in like the best of ways. And like I can tend to like,

just be a little more reactive. I can be a little bit more controlling. Like I can be like a little bit more competitive or whatever. Like you and I would like work so perfectly. Because you, you don't, you're not as reactive. You know what I mean? Like you don't like have an ego. Like we're, we're not competitive with each other. Like it's just I mean, I say this in like the biggest compliment possible. Like I couldn't actually work with somebody that was just like me. It would actually not work at all. But we're not opposites. Like we're, I also feel like I'm the same person as you. We want the exact same things. with the exact same sense of humor. We have so much in common, too.

So the best things are opposite, I guess, that make us work. But, like, you also compliment me in the sense that, yeah, I am a little more easygoing. So, like, sometimes, like, when I will deal with, like, a vendor and, like, I'm, like, you're fucking lucky. It's me and not Ashley. Because, like, Ashley would be hammering you. And I'm, like, not that you're never disrespectful to anybody. But sometimes you will just stay on the phone and be like, I want the answer.

This, like, flowery thing that, like, Rana will allow you to do is not going to happen with me. I mean, you've got to give yourself more credit because sometimes, is Raina, she will come in and you don't see her coming. I just, I am envious that you are a little more bold than me. You are, you are quicker to stand up for yourself than me. And I've said to you, the multiple situations in my life where I'm like, I don't know how to handle this. And you were like, well, initially I would have handled it differently in the best way.

You know, I'm envious of it. So like you can find somebody that compliments you. You know, like, I feel like Kane gives me great advice and he has a lot of emotional depth and he, into situations that I don't really have emotional depth into or, you know, insights into that you've defined somebody that can compliment you yes but your opposite no yeah I mean again like it's lifestyle versus like how you're built you know what I mean like yeah I just someone that was exactly like me like would be a mess in a relationship you know what I mean like yeah we can be friends or whatever like so but it's just I always think about that like I just think that we've seen a lot

of like dumb examples of like people that live totally different lives like it's not going to work Yeah, I mean, good for you if you think you can. But love doesn't conquer all. It just doesn't. Like, it can be fun for a couple of months. But, like, then you've got to live your life with this person. I mean, you see it. Like, I'm watching Bachelor in Paradise.

And, like, I don't really know what's going to happen. Or I actually need to watch last nights because Kendall's coming back on. And, like, we've had Kendall Long on the show. And Joe is on it. Oh, on it. So they essentially broke up because they didn't want to live in the same place. I don't know what's going on with them. And again, we can only speak on her, what, what you see.

on TV and what we've had her on the show, which was so long ago at this point before COVID. But like, that was a couple that had a lot of love and broke up because they didn't want to live in the same place. Like, that's an opposite thing. That opposite didn't attract. He was like, I don't want to live there. And she's like, well, I don't live there. And it's like, you got to break up because that's the rest of our life.

Yeah. And then the last thing that I just think that like people tell you is like, you'll feel butterflies when it's right. I don't know. To me, butterflies are nice. I don't think it means it's compatible. I think it's just lost. I think that like I felt.

Butterflies of people that were just fucking with me. And like what I was feeling was just like anxiety. It wasn't butterflies, you know? I mean, I think you can feel butterflies. But like, I think it's nice to be like, does this feel good? Because the lows are so low. And so when I get a break from the lows, it just feels really good. Or like, you know what?

Does it make sense? Yeah. I mean, you know your body. Like, I like to feel excited about somebody. But you should know if something just feels like anxiety and like tightness in your chest and like swirlies in your stomach. Like, you know, we say this all the time. The right person should make you feel at ease and comfortable.

And you should walk away from your dates with them or your time spent with them and feel comfortable and warm and fuzzy more than anxious and jittery. And I think, you know, before you maybe really know yourself, maybe when you're a little bit younger, not that you can't know yourself when you're young. I'm just saying, I think a lot of times you were like, he gives me butterflies. It's like, is that what is, let's talk about that feeling. Is it because you don't know if you're going to hear from him again? 100% I will never forget this a couple years ago.

A friend of mine and two of my friends, I was at brunch with this girl and she thought she had dinner plans with this guy. She'd been for like six months and she was like spiraling at brunch. He stayed at her house and she was like, I haven't heard from this one and he hasn't confirmed dinner. And like I don't really know if I'm going to see him later. He's out with his friends. And I was just like bucking around with his friends. I'm worried he's going to get too drunk. He's going to blow me off.

And she spiraled so hard at brunch. And then I was hanging out with her and like five. He texted and was like, hey, I'll meet you at the restaurant at like 6.30. and she was like elated and so excited to see him. We're like running around. We went to her place. She changed. Went to meet him for dinner.

She was so excited. And I was just like, you're excited because you felt like shit all day. And suddenly somebody like allowed you to feel okay for a couple hours. Like that's not butterflies. You just somebody treating you like shit. Right. Yeah.

It's a roller coaster. Yeah. I don't want to be on it. I'm not interested. No. Grow up. Okay. Well, there's so many.

Again, we ran through all those ones before. All met are the same. Just pick one. That is so funny. Some of them were like so funny. I will say, though, if you really don't shave before a date and you don't clean your apartment and you have like hair on the shower wall, you definitely get late that. You're a hundred percent getting late that night.

Like if you have a whole like spider on the shower wall of your hair and you haven't cleaned the toilet and you have a ring in the toilet and you have a bunch of animals. Shut up. I would never not flush a poop, but sometimes I just, she never flushes a peat. That's actually stamped. Well, sometimes I could. I wash my hands and I forget. Okay. But anyway, that I where in college, like that, in my early in my 20s, that was like, if my place was a mess, someone was coming back there. If I left my vibrator on my bed. Yeah, if I hadn't had a wax, everything was covered in hair. If it's a tornado of awful, I'm getting laid. So, can't recommend that enough. Well, thanks guys for being here for this.

The last part of this episode is that we asked you guys for other parts of it, we asked you for your sex tips that have gone wrong. So just somebody, told you to do this thing. It went horribly awry. You guys sent really funny stories. So we have a couple of those. Do you want to kick it off? Okay. Yes, I will start. Okay, this is cute. She writes, hi guys. Hi guys. So I have a sex tip that went wrong and funny enough, it came from this podcast. So my favorite episode of all time is hotter sex starts now featuring Dr. Emily Morse. It's so good that I've listened to it and masturbated to it three or four times. And I've pretty much memorized every word Emily says, including a timestamp 1.1330 when she casually says,

Why did he just put his tongue in my ear and not keep going? I love a tongue in the ear. I was inspired. Oh, my God. So at the time this episode came out, my boyfriend, I had only been together for a few months, and we were very down for experimenting and trying new stuff in the bedroom. I knew he went crazy for an earlobe nibble and taking tips from a literal sex expert. I decided to take it one step further and dive my tongue right in there.

Like, I went places no Q-tip should ever go. He eventually stopped me and just politely said, more around and less in. Oh, I like that he was like, okay. Okay. Only then did I realize I had been full wet willy in my boyfriend while trying to turn him on. Anyway, TLDR, I wet willied my boyfriend with my tongue because you guys told me to love y'all. Oh my God. I wonder what Emily meant by that. I mean, some people like it. I love ear tongue. Not in the hole. Just don't penetrate the hole. You know, I like a little bit of like tonguing around the outer edge of the- Emily maybe said that like jokingly and she took it to heart. I would never penetrate the hole. Some people like it though.

when I feel something close off the ear and a wet scent. Oh, I hate it. Okay. This one just made me laugh because it's just like, again, it's probably like well meaning, but it's like religious sex tips. So she said, I grew up in the church, which was full of so many stupid sex tips.

Like, don't have it because you're like, you're like tape. And the more than the more, this is why I don't read guys. Like don't have it because you're like tape and the more you stick to it. What is wrong with me? Ashley, just read all of them. What, okay, hold on.

I grew up in the church, which was so full of so many stupid sex tips, like, don't have it because you're like tape. And the more you stick it to things, the less sticky it gets. Oh, so like the more of sex you have, the less people are going to want to have sex. The less you're going to be able to. It's like, you know, no one's going to buy the cow if you're giving the milk away for free. Do you want to finish it? Sure. Anyways, we were getting married.

It went to premarital counseling with the pastor, which is required before they let you get married in the church. the last session was all about sex. Here were the tips. Number one, you're going to need a lot of towels. I'm still unsure what the towels are for. I remember packing them on our wedding night, expecting some sort of heavy bleeding or something. Wait, did she wait to have sex for the wedding night?

It sounds like that. This is so funny. So she's like waiting probably to have sex on the honeymoon. And she's like, I guess I've got to pack a lot of towels. Like the hotel wouldn't have towels. She packed towels. She brought sand to the beach. They said to her, judging by your size,

I'm four foot 10, you're going to need a lot of lube. Turns to my husband, you're most likely not going to fit in her as she is very tiny. A priest said this to her. This is not. This is so funny. She says, as though height predicts vaginal tightness and penis size, I remember sitting there in disbelief. My pastor was visualizing my vagina.

Stop. I cannot with religion. No shade. But this is fucking insane. I would walk out. Okay. The third one, pray together before your first time to thank you. thank God for sex.

That it exists. You guys, this, is this what's happening in the church? Actually, you guys, is this what's...

Talk about making a desert down there. I will not. Anyways, a little different, but thought of this immediately when I saw your post. I love this girl.

I love this. Like, I, and I think that, like, probably a lot of people grew up in a situation, like,

where they were shamed to not having the type of sex they wanted or, like, they were told, like, his vagina won't fit into you because you're too small.

Oh my god. This is wild. Okay. The last one. My best friend gave me a long lesson on how to give a blowjob. I'm talking vibrator out full demonstration. What a friend. I had this shit down to a science. I was soon going to be a professional just like my BFF. Fast forward a few weeks. I'm showering with the sky. I'd been seen and he asked me to suck his dick. Who is out here asking someone to suck their dick in the shower? Waterboard yourself? No. Nope. The confidence of a wipe. I was nervous, but this was the moment I spent hours in the phone preparing for I was ready. I was ready. on the phone where they look on a Zoom. I make my way down and quickly realize what I'm working with is not what I've been training for. It's half the size of my vibrator. Right. If you had a giant vibrate, I can barely hold it with my hand,

let alone put my mouth on it too. The thing is flopping all over the place. I have hair in my face, water spraying me in the eye and a dick in my mouth. Lesson learn, blow jobs aren't even for boyfriends. No, bitch. Blow jobs are for the shower. What are we doing?

What are we doing? Water torture. What are we doing? Shower, dick in the mouth. I mean, it's a pet. You also need your own natural lube. Like, you need your spit. Like, this is a mess.

Also, like, he's standing and you're on your knees. Like, I've always wondered, like, how you get, like, I'm five feet tall. I'm probably not sucking a dick on, like, a full grown man on my knees. And you're, what, is there a mat down or your knees slipping and sliding? Right. How do you get your knees to stay? I, this is a mess.

No matter where he is, if he's under the shower water or you're under the shower water, you're getting waterboarded. Like, I'm trying to wear. in the, where in the shower you could be sitting and standing. Like, want to use under the water and the other ones getting the water dumped on them. But this doesn't even, like, it's not even what you want. You know, you want spit as a lube. You don't want water coming in.

This is like a mess. It's a mess. But her friend, it sounds like, probably gave her really solid advice. I hope she was able to use that BJ tutorial later in a non-shower situation. It also sounds like he had too small of a penis. I mean, I don't know because like half the size of a vibrator, which is understandable because vibrators and dildos can be huge. But she said I could barely hold it with my hand, let alone put my mouth on it. So this motherfucker with this teeny dick is like suck my dick in the shower.

You can't put my mouth on it? What? I don't know. She was in the shower of the girl. That was a clip. Oh my God. All right, guys. Well, thank you for submitting your sex tips gone wrong. We're running short on time, but there was one about peanut butter. Never use that as a lube. I just want food in the bedroom But peanut butter specifically Like you It's like cotton balls at your mouth Like don't be out here

Or sucking peanut butter off a dick Like if you're gonna bring food To the bedroom just no peanut butter Yeah think about peanut butter Your own mouth Do you want to try to like wrestle that on a dick Chocolate syrup if anything Or you know just nothing

Edible Loop Well we hope you guys enjoyed I did We will see you this week Atlanta Charleston Charlotte and Raleigh We can't wait still maybe some tickets left for Atlanta, Charleston, and Charlotte.

So get those at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com. Follow us Instagram at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast. I am Ash Hess. Raina is reina.org. Girls underscore got to eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash Girls Gotta Eat. Get the merch. Sign up for the newsletter.

All the things. And we'll see you next week. But before that, we'll see you on tour. All right, guys, have a good week. Bye.