Girls Gotta Eat - Dating During Distancing

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

Uncertain and scary times are among us, but we're still going to bring you humor, "hot takes", and dating discussions while also approaching the situation seriously and offering insight on how to help. In our first official "pandemic episode", we're chatting about the current state of dating during social distancing from unexpected breakups to exes/former flames crawling back with apologies and booty calls. We're also making predictions about what "our new normal" means for couples, app dating, fuckboys, and more. AND we're sharing the ridiculous Pandemic Pickup Lines our lady listeners have been receiving. Enjoy and stay safe! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: BioClarity: Get 15% off everything at bioclarity.com with code GGE at checkout. Rothy's: Go to rothys.com promo code GGE for free shipping. ThirdLove: Go to thirdlove.com/gge now to get 15% off your first purchase. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I think that these real fuck boys, like the ones that are like get it in all the time are going to start to lose their fucking minds. They're going to be like walking around the streets, like the walking dead ball sacks full of cum. Just like, uh, uh, got to put it in someone. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat. Our very first remote episode, our very first quarantine, pandemic, coronavirus, COVID-19, end of the world episode. Wow. That was really nicely done. Coming to you from a Zoom chat. So if you don't like the audio, we don't know what to do.

We'll do our best. Blame Corona. I am really faced with having to look at my ugly face for the entirety of this episode. I've never been as heavier pale in my whole life. Listen, you're doing amazing, sweetie. All right. Well, here we are. Did you ever think that we would be recording not together?

on this Zoom recording. I never knew any of this is going to happen. I figured the apocalypse would happen one day and you and I would be recording until the bitter end. Yeah, here it is. Here we are. We have what we think is going to be a really great episode for you guys. Just everything that's happening right now,

we're going to talk about how we're living right now, where we are, what we're doing, how we're getting through this. We're going to talk about the dating landscape. We're going to talk about laying a, We're going to talk about Raina's last hurrah. We'll get to it. What's been going out with me.

What we predict in the world of dating and relationships with everything that's happening. But, you know, we'll kick it off with on a not-so-great note and just talk about our live shows and things like that. Just update everybody. Yeah. And we want to let you guys know we're recording this on Friday. So we know things change day-to-day. But we just want to inject some humor into your guys' life. We know that there's lots of stuff going on in the world.

world and we're thinking about you guys every day. And we just want to let you know what we know up to date. So obviously this comes out Monday. This is Friday. We'll update you guys as much as we know. But right now, just a little live show update. Obviously, we had to postpone our March shows in Texas. We're going to be postponing, unfortunately, our shows in April as well. So that's Philadelphia and Florida. We have talked to all the venues, and we are going to work on moving those dates for you guys. Yeah, we're on it as much as we can. Some of you guys have gotten refunds. before we announced it, we're sorry, we're doing everything we can. I know you guys aren't, we're not getting any like hate mail or anything,

but I know some people are a little frustrated. Trust us, we are more frustrated. This is our livelihood and this is our income. And we, aside from that, even, is just what we love to do. I mean, this is, I mean, to have to postpone Philly and Florida, like Tampa, I mean, I am so devastated. Clearly, this is the least of the problems happening in the world right now. We don't want to minimize what else is happening.

people are losing their lives and their jobs and much worse stuff is happening. But we're still bummed. And we want you guys to know that deep in our hearts, we're like super fucking sad. We wanted to just be there and see you guys. But we will be back. And we'll get to it at the end of the episode kind of messaging for how we feel like the positives and the silver lining's coming out of all this stuff, which in terms of of the live shows is that we're going to be so fucking amped to be together when we finally

get together. We're going to have like sick entertainment for every show. We're going to blow every show out of the water. We're just going to be so excited to be there. And so, whenever they happen, they're going to be incredible. Yeah, there's nothing that Ashley and I love more than being in these days with you guys. So canceling this, I mean, we were ready to ride it out as long as possible. And we want you guys to know each contact with the venues. You will be getting emails to either get a refund or change the tickets over to the new dates. We're working on getting those two as soon as possible. We want you guys to have your money back. If you need money. We want you to transfer the tickets to the new dates if that's what you guys want to do.

So we're working on that for you. Cannot stress enough. Our favorite thing in the world is being in your cities and seeing these cities and meeting you guys. So just keep in mind that this is a temporary thing and we'll be back all together, everybody, one day. Man, remember when we were like, it's just going to be Texas. Like, that's all. We'll be back in April. And then like the world just shut down. I mean, like, it's, it's, I don't, like, we haven't, we have not had. to do anything in May yet.

Of course, we are holding on to those for dear life. We don't make these decisions anymore. The world, the government, the venues, like everything's, you know, the CDC, like they're the ones being like, everything shut down till further notice, you know? So as at this point,

we're still going to San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, but I don't fucking know. Watch the news. You'll know when they're canceled. You'll get a vibe. It's crazy how that's, like Wednesday, we were talking last week about canceling Texas and you were like, I don't want to do it. And I was like, I don't know.

I don't know if we feel safe. And we like, we like could make the call. And I was like, well, we until Monday to like make the call. And by Thursday night, Live Nation had canceled the tours. Yeah. It comes out of you quick. It was all like, you know, I guess, I mean, obviously we're going to address this stuff up top.

This episode is going to be all about what is happening. Don't worry. We have plenty of humor and funny stuff coming. But, you know, Raina and I are, you guys know, we're New Yorker. Newark was not the first place to be like locked down quarantined by any stretch, but it was definitely early on, I think maybe even like Seattle and San Francisco. And I think some of the West Coast was ahead of New York in terms of the decisions being made and whatnot. But it definitely took a shift now, not that this weekend that just passed, but the weekend before.

So about 10 days ago, it's when everything shifted. Like people were still out on that Thursday night. I had shows, you know, people were starting to get into this like stay the fuck home. And then by Sunday, Saturday night, Sunday, it was like, if you're not home, you're a fucking dick. You know what I mean? Like, do what's right. And so we don't like to shame people,

but like, if you are still out socializing and partying, we are shaming you right now. Like, everybody's got to stay home. Like I, it doesn't matter. It's coming everywhere. You're not safe. You're not immune. You know, the kids partying on the beaches in Florida was so disheartening because it's

just going to get everybody sicker and we're not going to get out of this. It's going to take longer to get out of this. I saw a meme today that was like, can everybody just stay the fuck home? I don't want recess to keep getting canceled because two kids can't play right or whatever it was. It was just like, that's how I feel because the sooner people take the government and the CDC and the advice it's being given and actually stay home and isolate and quarantine, the sooner we can get out of this. Yeah, I'm sure that it is hard to even like comprehend it unless you're living in I think that like especially in the middle of the country or even like so I've been like monitoring all the cases so much.

And like in South Carolina there's 60 cases. It's hard to like put yourself in the mindset of what's happening when you're not in it. And so like to put people in the mindset like a week ago, there was 700 cases nationwide. In New York City there's 6,500 cases as of today. Whatever. We're not like doom and gloom you guys like crazy. But this is spreading. It's going to spread.

You can just fucking stay home. Don't be an asshole. Socializing will be there and socializing will be back sooner. if you stop doing stupid shit. Yes, thank you. Also, 60 cases in South Carolina. We had 60 cases just a few weeks ago in New York City. So it happens fucking quick.

And it's just like Matt was telling my brother was like, there's still people on the boardwalk. And I'm in Rojobitz. I'm like, oh, my God. You know? I saw that. La, no, no, no. Our friend just posted a photo.

And, you know, what we're doing as a family is like, obviously I'm here with my parents. We can get to that. And I will probably go down to Matt. and spend a few nights there. I mean, like, some people might find that risky. It's what we're going to do as a family has just spend time with our immediate family.

We're not socializing with other people or even outside of the homes at all. You know, we're having dinners in our homes and things like that. But so, you know, God forbid something happened. But, I mean, I feel safe at this point. I've been here a week now. I've been traveled in two weeks. I mean, so an update.

I mean, obviously you guys probably follows on social media. But if you don't, I made the decision. and basically we could go today last Tuesday to have my dad come and get me in New York. And I'm in Delaware now with my family indefinitely. I don't know. So I'm here. Right now it feels like I'm still on vacation of my parents. You know, you and I have tons of work to do.

I haven't felt bored yet. You and I have so much to do. We've still been working around the clock to produce more video content and get the podcast up. We have a guest next week. You know, we're doing the things. So that's where I am. I'm in Delaware with the fam, with the dogs. But it's been good.

I feel good. I lived here between the time I moved from Atlanta to New York for six weeks. I lived here at my parents on the farm and it was great. So I enjoy being here. I'm happy. I made that decision right when the restaurants and bars shut down when there was like no more comedy, no more restaurants. And Raina, you, you can share your truth. You waited it out a little longer. My truth is that you motherfuckers left me here. That's my truth. The Lee picked you up. I'd watch all these hilarious videos of you packing up and driving to Delaware and all these cute videos of you at Matt's house. you know all the dogs and everything and I'm here alone. You guys abandoned me.

Listen, what if you infected my family? You would never let yourself live it down. So I think it's just like, give me a favor. I told Raina, I was like, listen, you're not going to want to live with us for the rest of time. What you said was I think it's bad for our relationship to be quarantined together indefinitely. And I will say, it's the truth. My dad said, thank you. My dad today was like, how are you and Ashley getting along?

And I was like, I've seen the bitch in a week. I'm not going to see here for too much. How would we not be getting along? I will say we've been working. Like, we've been working a lot. We're working to produce all the episodes for you guys, content. Like, we're going to keep working to make you guys smile until, I don't know, the internet gets shut down.

Whatever. We're riding this out till the very end of, until the end of Wi-Fi, basically. But we, you know, we're joking. But I will say, like, the day before I left, which was last Tuesday. So last Monday, I had to give Raina some recording. equipment so we could do these remote interviews and like we just basically met in between the two of our homes and we just started crying like it was I'm going to cry right now thinking about it like we literally just approached each other on the street and just like started crying because we were like

I don't know when I'm going to see you again like this isn't like oh my god we're not going to make it like we get it we're we feel lucky we feel blessed we are going to be okay and just like most of you will be okay as well but it was just this moment of like when am I going to see you again when are we going to record together again? When are we going to perform together again? Like what, I mean, what does this mean? It was really sad. Yeah. I think a lot of people are obviously experiencing that right now. And I'm packing up to leave my home. And, you know, this has been my home for almost 13 years. And the thought of leaving it is heartbreaking. And look, I'm glad that I'm somebody that is options. I'm glad that you and I have family and a place to go. And I know that not everybody is that

fortunate. And, you know, I'm packing up to leave this place that like I knew I was going to live here since I was a little kid. I'm going to put all my belongings in suitcases and leave it behind. And like, I don't know when I'm going to be back. Don't worry. I still have to be rent. Ashley there is still holding. I mean,

I don't feel like you're moving away. I don't think, I mean, it's just, I didn't bring all my stuff. I just, I mean, I brought clothes and stuff.

But I don't, I mean, hopefully this is only for like a month or two, but who knows. You know what's nice about packing for quarantine is that I, I'm just going to bring one pair of kids and my nastiest sweatpants. And that's it. Bitch,

don't forget your vibrator like I did. I mean, I made a huge mistake. I would never. I also made a list of like stuff to tell people to do in quarantine. The first thing I wrote was masturbate. I would never forget that shit and the charger. So I did tough it out in New York for the week.

I didn't see any reason to leave. And obviously like I have like a fuck buddy in the building. I have something to be. We'll get to that. But I have somebody to be with here who I feel like safe around. But what had happened was that somebody in my building got the coronavirus and they've had to quarantine. building for days. They had people in here with hazmat suits. They fumigated the whole building.

You weren't allowed in or out of your apartment for two days. So I took the stairs and walked 12 flights down the steps so I could walk. But like that's all I've been allowed to do for two days. And the climate here just doesn't feel great. So I'm going to rent a car. I'm going to go home to my parents. They are not there. They are in Florida. So I'm not at risk of like infecting them. They'll be back in a couple weeks. And if I feel bored, I'll come back. You know, and that's it. I'm I'm going to put all my stuff. I'm going to bring some books, pack all my alcohol, my frozen. I've never had to bring my own toilet paper to my parents' house. I had ordered that giant Daily Harvest shipment, and it literally came like an hour before my dad picked me up,

and we just like threw her in the car. So I'm like, and my mom does daily harvest. We have daily harvest for like a three weeks supply at this point between the two of us. I got asked a lot. Like, were you scared of infecting your family? Were you scared that you had it? And like, yeah, I posted this all on my Instagram. Of course, who wouldn't be? You know, but I felt good. I clearly had no symptoms. I had more energy than normal.

I had no fever. I hadn't traveled or been in an airport for 10 days. I had been being safe in New York. Clearly, there's always a chance you're asymptomatic. But I mean, at this point, like I'm, I feel like I'm very much in the clear. We're good. We feel good about it. We made the decision together as family.

You are going to be just if by case that you have it, you are going to be at your parents alone for 10 days. which is time enough to something to kick in. God, it sounds so bad. I can't even. I didn't grow up in this house. They built a house after all of their kids went away, like all five of their joint kids.

I don't understand it. I'm like, you just like build this giant coffin. Like, what is his house for? So I'm going to be alone in this giant house that I hate being alone. And also I'm just used to small spaces, like big spaces that I'm realizing kind of scare me.

Like I can't hear what's going on at all times. Yeah. There's so many entrances. Like my body. There's so many ways for people to get in and murder you. There is. We have a security system. So I'm packing water, my water and food and toiletries to take to my parents' house.

So that's what I'm going to do. Tonight, I'm going to have one last hurrah in my building. Get it in. You just text to me. Tell them it will be a little while. I don't have to talk about you in a very public platform that you don't listen to. Which, listen, guys, we advocate to stay away from people. self-quarantine. This is, Raina's making her own decision here. Like, we're not advocating for you

to go find somebody and fuck them in your building. We got to be clear. This is, Raina's living her truth. Oh, yeah. Also, he is also self-quarantined. He lives upstairs. He works for himself. He owns that apartment. He's not going anywhere. And like, I mean, whatever. Also, I've been sleeping in them for so long at this point. If he has it, I have it. Yeah. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, still at that what we're supposed to do is that we all, we're all like we're all supposed to act like we have it and live that way. But right. She's doing it for us. She's doing it for us. You guys so we can check back in next week. And she's got one last pre-pandemic fuck in.

I might let him put it. I may let him put it in my butt. I don't know. It's crazy. Nothing matters anymore. I mean, let's be honest. I'm so excited to get into this because I have been reckless with my dating life lately because I don't have one anymore. You know? I'm just texting everybody. It's been wild. Well, we're going to get into that. do feel like I want to at least like tell people like I think people want to know like what are you doing with your days well yours would probably be just texting guys yes mine is texting eyes um nothing matters anymore this guy facetime me today I answered while I was taking a shit on the toilet I can't even stress how hot I think he is I like him so much he's so I answered the phone I was like

listen I got to put you down to wipe oh my god did you say that yes I just nothing matters anymore where's he going to go yeah no where does he get to go I bet you have your phone in your hand. What do you have that for? I made a list. I made a list of stuff to do while quarantine. Oh, my God, love it. I really haven't been doing anything except for work.

You don't have been working this whole time. Yeah. I'm not trying to be like, oh, my God, we work so hard. The hustle never sleeps, even during quarantine. But like we really, like, we have been wanting to launch our YouTube, do all this other stuff. We have so many videos that we're still weren't even fully edited from you guys from past interviews and stuff like that. So I would say at this point, you're listening Monday. The YouTube will be launched this week.

100%. We'll announce it on all of our social media. But, you know, we promise you. This week, it'll be up. There'll be, you know, at least four to five videos you guys can watch and we'll be continuing to do it more. So we're committed to doing video for every episode that we can, even if it's via Zoom, via Skype, whatever. So we've been, we've had stuff to do. I mean, it'll slow down soon, but like we've been keeping busy and, you know, that's, I'll throw that in while we're on the topic. you know, like if there was any skill you wanted to do that you can do from home, this is the time to do it.

If you ever wanted to write a book, if you ever wanted to pick up video editing, if you ever wanted to go live on Instagram. But what? I made a whole list. That's stuff on my list. Oh, sorry. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. I just, I mean, this, I've been FaceTiming a lot. I've been masturbating a lot. I've never, I never face-time. I don't like to do it. But like, I've been fac-timing my family. And I feel like it's like, I've been like reconnecting with people that, like, I haven't before. This is not a hot takes. So some of these are hot takes and some are not. I also bought an exercise bike. if you guys don't want to spend that kind of money, which of course, I think money is tight for a lot of people. OpenFit is one of our sponsors and they have great online classes. I cannot stress enough how fat I'm getting. Learn to make pasta.

Learn to make pie crust. Two skills that I think everybody should have. It takes forever to learn. Learn a skill like Photoshop. I'm loving these live concerts that are going on Instagram live and live comedy shows. You and Remy did one the other night. It was so great. All these Instagram live comedy shows.

Try in all your clothing and decide if they spark joy. Marie Kondo, your wardrobe and I would write your memoirs. I would do an indoor scavenger hunt. Pick a with your significant other. Where are they going to go? Make a list of all, make a list of all the sporting events, museums, and concerts you're going to go to when this is over. So you something nice to look forward to. Fung Shui your home, build IKEA furniture, and try edibles. All right. That's my list. You nailed it. I was on the phone with one of my favorite couples. I don't want to say who they are just in case they would lose their jobs for this. But they're like, okay, we have all

this stuff. We have all of our food and they just held up this bag. They're like, we've all of our drugs. They're just going to like try new drugs at home. Yeah. I mean, I agree with all that stuff too. I mean, I think the at home workouts are great. Like, we love OpenFit. If you have a class pass membership, there is free streaming on Class Pass. Orange Theory has been doing it. 305 Fitness in New York is doing their dance. I think at this point every day at like noon and six, their full blown dance class. SLT, which is my favorite megaformer class. They're doing like a workout that you can do on the floor with like sliders or like slippery socks. Like Y7's my yoga studio.

Like all these places are stepping up. And a lot of them are asking for donations. And if I took one of those classes, I would absolutely donate. I mean, you know, they're trying to pay the bills too. So all these, I love the at home workouts. I mean, a lot of people are probably going to take this time to read a bunch of books and write like I mentioned. And maybe meditate more. Learn to meditate.

All those type of things. Reconnect with family and friends. I love that people are setting up these like Zoom, Skype, happy hours or FaceTime. And I think it gives us a chance to even like be more present with these people anyway. I mean, sometimes we were talking about this with Matthew Hussey. We went live with him today. And I was talking to him about, you know, sometimes you're at dinner with friends and you're on your phone. And you are a little more distracted and present.

Like you're staring at them on a screen. You can't be looking at your phone. Like you have to be present. I was in the phone last night. I love that you said pasta. I was in the phone last night with Rob and Allison from Spokane, Washington. based timing last night. We're talking, he and I were catching up, drinking

wine, she's making pasta. Like, we just hung out for an hour. It's great, isn't it? I feel like all of these Instagram people, all the food bloggers are really trying to do these Instagram lives where they cook. Richard Blaze, who's like a great chef. But he's been doing all these like at home cooking videos.

Melissa Woods is a fitness person. I like, she's been doing all these videos with their kids at home. Like they're like crawling all over her while she does yoga. It's very cute. But I like seeing, I like seeing some kindness in the world. I like seeing that these people are home and they just want to create content to make other people happy. And I have been seeing a lot of kindness in New York and people just really doing a nice thing for each other.

John Legend did a concert on Instagram live the other day. And I love that whether it's for money or not, people are doing things to just bring a smile to the rest of the world. And that makes me really happy. Yeah. And guys, it's a hell of fresh. I mean, everybody should learn to cook by the end of this. I think I saw a meme today that was like there's two types of. people you're coming out of this learning how to cook or as an alcoholic. There's no in

between. Both. Or both. Yeah, I think you can totally do both. But this is the time to to ease in with HelloFresh for sure. GG10. I think GG10's the code. Anyway, got to throw it out there. I mean, obviously alcohol is like a no-brainer. I've been like really getting it in and I might pick a new hole to put it in tonight. The penis, not the alcohol. You guys, great time to try anal. I get with your partner. I, okay. My dream that we're going to do like, so we've been talking about like, you know, what are the episodes look like for the future, you know, because people aren't in bars and they're not dating the same way.

They're not in apps and we can talk about a little more later. But one episode that I think will be so great to do is talking about, number one, like new sex stuff you can do with your partner at home or sex tips like pho and sexing and Skype sex. So we'll definitely do that stuff. Let's talk about, we'll take a minute. You know, we're not going to dwell on too long, but we do want to talk about like where you guys can give back.

in this time. And we do realize that people are not making money. They're not making an income right now. I feel so terrible for those people that, you know, were already living paycheck to paycheck that didn't have a bunch of savings in the bank and now they aren't going to work. The people that work in the restaurant industry and the hospitality industry, I mean, those are, that's one of so many industries that are people aren't working. People are losing their jobs. They're getting laid off without pay. And so I think it is important for people that, have money in the bank and that aren't in that situation to step up and and give back. And Rain and I are definitely doing that. I think we're going to be in this situation for a while.

So it's not like I'm not personally like blowing my load right yet on what on what I want to give to you. I did a I donated to the food bank in New York. So do Raina pet adoption and things like that. And so we know we're talking about how we can just help people personally, hospital workers. You know, we're trying to figure this out. So we want to be generous and we encourage people that have savings and have that feel financially stable to help people that are not in this time because it's really going to be tough for some people. And we've seen some amazing efforts abroad and we've seen some amazing crowdfunding efforts where people have raised millions of dollars.

And Ashley and I spent a lot of time talking about, you know, who do we support first? How do we support them first? Obviously, the restaurant and hospitality industry has been hammered overnight. Obviously, these hospital workers are not only at work when everybody else is, but they are actually getting infected and they're dying. and how do we help those people? How do we help shelters? How do we help pets?

There's just so many people that we would love to help. And you suggest this, I was really surprised. I asked on my Instagram story, like, what are the best charity is to donate to? And there doesn't seem to be any, like, giant global, like overarching stuff. So a lot of local stuff is what came up. So a lot of restaurants have GoFundMe.

If there's a business that you guys love that has supported you, the way that OZatar or the stand has supported us, you know, look up, see if they, have a GoFund Me. I wrote down a couple other ones that I just think are really good and you guys can look into them as well. The restaurant industry has started something called Roar. It's relief operations for all restaurants.

It's to lobby the government to include them in stimulus packages for small restaurant businesses so that they're getting the kind of breaks that they need. The AFPCA for pets, Cure is a great organization. Even if you guys buy food at restaurants, send it to hospital workers. Look up what local organizations is in your area. area. We'll stop harping on this, but I love that you said the local food banks. Also, there's something called city harvest in New York. They go around and pick up food. They originated by picking up food at restaurants at the end of the night. The restaurants

were throwing out and donating it to shelters. And now they pick it up. So if you guys are in cities where events have been canceled, restaurants are shutting down. I mean, I know what's already happened in New York and California. But there's lots of organizations that do stuff like that. So just see what's local. Even $5 helps people. You know, $5 doesn't mean a lot to a lot of people, but it means the world to other people. So anything you guys can do and just be kind to each other. I've seen so many people doing so many nice things.

I submitted to my building last night. I mean, if you live in big buildings, I submitted to the management company that if anybody who's elderly is afraid to go out and afraid to buy groceries or need something at the pharmacy, I'm happy to go do that for them. So if you guys live in bigger buildings

and you can offer to do stuff like that for people, that's huge. Yeah, the elderly are on my mind constantly as are kids that were relying on schools for their meals and things like that. So those are kind of during the beginning of this, that's what I was so concerned about were outerly. And so anything like that that they can't get out as easily. And all you crazy people hoard at the fucking toilet paper.

So a lot of them are without paper products. Go deliver them goddamn toilet paper. I wanted to say this too. This is from a friend that is a hospital worker. She said the best thing for hospitals right now is to really only come to the hospital if you're dying and you can't manage your symptoms at home. you know, if you can manage your symptoms, please don't go to the ER.

I mean, whatever. I just had it. She was like, what can we do to help the people in the hospital? She works in a hospital in New York, you know, they're on the front lines. And she was like, just don't come here. Stay at home and quarantine and also don't come here unless you're literally dying because people are dying. And it's bad. And I have a girlfriend in Atlanta that works in the hospital.

She said she's seen young people come in, fully intubated. It's horrifying. You're not immune. young, stay the fuck home. And also, I guess I'll save the most important and crucial for last, the shortage of personal protective equipment, PPE in the hospitals right now. So I'm sure you guys have seen on the news, but I have personally been talking to so many medical professionals that are on the front lines. And it's bad. It's really, really bad. They don't have the masks and the gowns and the protective equipment they need. So they not only feel unsafe at work, but they're getting the

virus from the infected patients. So when the people who are taking care of sick people get sick, we're beyond fucked. And New York is the most critical right now, but it is everywhere. It will continue to be. If you feel like the conditions aren't critical in your city right now, they probably will be. And we're going to continue to talk about this. But right now, the best place to donate and where I've donated is actually Bethany Frankl's organization, Be Strong. She is actually getting the masks made. And you can see where they're going, how many are going to which hospitals and the whole process. So just look up her on Instagram. Be Strong as her organization. You can donate there. You can make masks. yourself. If you have a sewing machine or a 3D printer, there's lots of resources about

this on the internet. We will be posting more on our social media accounts about where to help and talking about it more in the podcast. I have been posting a lot about it on my own. I'm really hammering at home and I have a highlight right now with my Instagram too. I've been giving away Starbucks gift cards to people who can bring coffee to the hospitals and just trying to do little things along with donating to the bigger efforts, but just really keeping our medical professionals and all the people in the supply chain top of mind. So thank you so much to all of them, these people that are truly on the front lines and, you know, everyone else who's, they're just working tirelessly around the clock. Our hearts are with you and we're so

grateful and please just stay as safe as you can. We will be here supporting you however we can. Okay. So we, now that we got all this stuff out of the way, we're going to talk about the current state of dating in the Corona era. Dating, dating during Corona. This is making men act crazy. Okay. People are, there's people that broke up the day before this happened. There are exes crawling back for months ago. I'm having crazy situations with men right now. And also like nothing matters anymore. People are just acting reckless. It's wild. It is wild. It is wild. It is wild. Like we ask for you guys stories of being broken up with right around the pandemic time and also guys coming back. And those we got overwhelming. responses. One girl wrote, I need more details from her. I emailed her back. I haven't heard back. We got to do where are they now? Her living boyfriend broke up with her right before this. Like that guy, she just had to go, no, she did go live with her parents. I'm like, how do you? Oh, they're not still living together. Well, they're still on the lease. Like, they still have a

lease together. I was like, how did this happen? Like, I'd be like, I'm coming home. What are you going to do about it? But what a nightmare. Like, we think we're going to talk about this maybe in a couple weeks when things, we've been living this for a while. But like, this is going to take a toll on some couples too. I mean, I think that it forced a lot of newer couples into a more serious situation. And I think people that maybe just moved in together weren't prepared to be around their partner 24-7. Like the couples that just moved in together into a one-bedroom apartment in New York City and then now they're quarantined together 24-7. They're both working from home. They only only have each other. What is that going to do to a relationship? It's make or break. I don't know,

because you know how many men had to be like heckled into that decision to begin with? Like, men don't just go easily into that decision, especially in Newark. And so I feel like now, like, it's such a huge overhaul to have your stuff in someone's space. New York apartments are very tiny. And like, what I can't stop thinking about them checking in all all these couples on Instagram, like, see like what's going on. I just think that like either, I think the people that are in the best shape right now, the people that have been single for a really long time, which I want to talk about for a second. And the people that have been relationships like forever. You can be rude to your partner. It doesn't matter at that point. You could stop being polite and start getting real.

There are a lot of people that are single right now and somebody like sent us email. She's like, you guys told me to like be proud and be single and I am. And now I'm like alone in the house. And I'm like, but this will last forever. And you don't have somebody to deal with right now. I think your lucky stars. Yes. And like all you have. to worry about is yourself. I mean, and again, others, like, let's all be compassionate here. But I say that in terms of, like, you don't have to carry someone else's pandemic trauma on you. You know, like if you're people are going to be losing their jobs, they're going to be struggling. Like, all you have to worry about is yourself. You got to keep yourself alive, keep yourself fed,

you know, like just yourself. Like, I just feel like if you're single in a few weeks, though some of these couples are going to be jealous at you. Like, you need to thank your lucky stars that you weren't just casually dating somebody. and then you get thrown into this really serious situation that then you realize you didn't really like the person or even worse. Like, imagine if you were kind of dating somebody,

I mean, imagine, yeah, I can, that you were kind of dating somebody and then this broke you up. Like, that hurts because you're like,

what could have been if we didn't get thrown into this situation? So I think if you're single and you've been single, I think you should feel fine about it. Yeah, I think you're in great shape. I don't think you'll tell like, you can look as gross as you want to.

Right. That sounds great. You can watch whatever you want. You know, there doesn't be like a consensus in the room. It's not a democracy. It's just a dictatorship in your apartment. It sounds great. I know this does.

Like, I know this makes people feel really crazy alone. But like, I've been alone all week. I feel great. I just get to do, I mean, I guess I haven't really been a lot all week. We'll talk about it. But I feel like it's a nice time to just like think about yourself and read books and like FaceTime people and like do whatever you need to do. But like don't feel bad about being alone.

Like, we're all fucking alone. Don't feel bad about being alone and don't be envious of these couples and have to spend every minute together. That gets old quick. Right. Like the whole like, oh, let's pick new holes to play with.

Like that is not fun after a week. I called my brother and his wife and they're like, she's sitting on his lap and they're giggling and they just bought like video games. They're making dinner. I'm like, this is really going to get old for you guys. But they've also been together forever. Like they'll be fine.

You know what I mean? They've been together for so long. But I think the like the fun summer campiness of this is going to wear off. like a week and a half is what I'd be. Oh, that'll be great. They've been doing there for 10 years. They're my favorite couple. But like the single people are surviving the apocalypse.

Like we're going to be the last ones. The toilet paper hoarders are going first. Fuck you people. Fuck you. What's going on your butt? The toilet paper. I'm calling it now. If this really gets to be like the walking dead,

toilet paper hoarders are going first. Single, strong, independent women are going last. Actually, we'll just survive it and we'll start the world again. It'll be great. Right. I thought, you know what? No, no. I was going to say I like a world of only women.

but really, I need some dick. I know, it's annoying. I just find it so funny that these guys have crawled back in. Overwhelming. We got emails from girls. A few that stood out to me of the emails that you guys sent us.

Thank you so much again for sharing your truth with us. A girl that, a guy ghosted her six months ago. Like, she really liked him. He just disappeared on her. He sent her like, I'm sorry. I ghosted you. This really like introspective self-aware apology text like once the pandemic started.

Like this girls had heard her ex. broke up two and a half years ago under bad circumstances, and he hit her with a you up, and then proceeded to be like, let's just hang out. I'm making soup. You know, like it's been crazy.

Like these, I've seen, you guys have sent us to screenshots, you guys have shared your stories of the email with us. We have seen an overwhelmingly amount of guys be like, I'm so sorry. Some of them do you want it to get together? You know,

they're not so worried about the social distancing, obviously, but like these guys have been crawling back in. in droves. I think it's like a crazy tornado of two days. It's loneliness and just being like, oh my God, like she was better than nothing. And like,

and also this just like reckless, like nothing matters. I don't know when things will start mattering ever again. We're all trapped at our home. So like, fuck it. Send the text. I love these memes. Like fuck it, send the tag. Do just be reckless.

Do anything. Just like shoot your shot. Shoot your shot. Yeah. And I love the one, this one went crazy viral. It was like, okay, Brad, you're going to know what it feels like to be pen-piled forever, you know, like now write me a poem or whatever that meme was. It was very funny. And like, we are going to be pen-palling. A guy on Hinge literally yesterday was like, do you want to be pen-pals until we can get drinks in real life? It was so funny because this guy literally asked me out. He was like, do you want to get drinks when this is all over? And I was like, sure, I'll see you in the

fall or 2021. Who fucking knows? Right. You could be so reckless. Also, I do want to about people can do in relationships too, but like, okay, I, on Friday, I was like, Ashley, I got to tell you something. And I'm like, so the guy that I was dating in Charleston reached out to me and like, we were on the phone for hours. He told me he made a mistake. Oh, my God. So many girls were getting these. I made a mistake phone call. Yes. And I was like, all right. Like, well, I mean, nothing matters. So I'm like, you know, just ask me to drive down there. I'll come there. We'll self-couraging together. But I think this is making me, I make crazy. decisions. Like him and I are not

a bad terms. I don't have anything bad to say about him. We haven't really talked that much. Maybe like one text every three weeks. And he like checked him, he told me in a mistake and like that he like, whatever. He had a lot of the feelings about it. It's crazy. Men are you crazy?

Well, I had a situation. I mean, whatever. You guys know that I was casually dating somebody in the last few weeks or whatever. Well, before we went to Australia. Yeah. So, I mean, that was the kiss of death. You know, you date somebody for a few weeks, three weeks a month, and then you just leave for a month. Like, it doesn't bode well for any relationship. But I don't want to say too much about it. We're clearly, we're not dating. We are still talking. It's fine. I mean, I felt like it got a little weird towards the end of the trip. And then when I got back, and then, you know, you and I were pretty much back for a week before everything really started hit the fan. And we were. pretty much being told to stay home, which we were.

But actually, yeah, exactly week. We got back on like a Sunday and by the next Sunday, we were like stay the fuck home, quarantined. But I just, I kind of felt like he had maybe lost interest and just wasn't totally into it. And you guys know how I feel. You don't like me. I don't like you.

I was getting those type of vibes. I don't really think, I don't know. Basically then I feel like this guy took some time to think and was like, wait, I actually think I do want to date you. And then asked me out for, a date, like to have like a date date after we'd been quarantined. And I responded to him, I'll never forget this moment when a guy waited until a citywide shut down on social activities to ask me out.

And he was basically like, you know, I know I'm bad at timing. Whatever. All these guys, all these guys are like, I know I'm bad at timing. I'm not saying he's a fuck boy. But every fuck boy in America right now is sliding in being like, oh, I just, you know, I just want to see you. Just so they can like fuck you one more time before we're all. under actual house arrest.

Yeah, it's crazy. And then I was like, then yesterday, this guy asked me out where I'm like, I have dates lined up for 2021, one when this is all over. Like, I'm killing it. Yeah, you're killing it. All these girls, I feel like of all these days. Every guy in America has just like been like, oh my God, I got to get back in there. And it's like, why? You can't even see me.

Well, I do. I am not naive here. Like, I think this guy and I liked each other. but he's bored. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, duh. Like, these guys are bored. Like, they are bored.

They want your time and attention. Like, even before this, guys were just wanting to text and DM with you, just wanting to talk to you and never really see you. Like, they're just doing that times 10. Like, now they have nothing else to do. Now they're living their truth. They're just going to, like, text and send you memes and maybe FaceTime here and there. And they never actually have to take you out on a date.

Like, this is their dream. Men are really living the dream. This is so crazy. It's like every man on earth who wants to pen pal you do that. They actually get to do it and you can't say anything about it because where are they going to go?

Seriously. But you know what? On the other side, I'm here for it. Like, what else am I doing? I'll take the attention. The only person I have to talk to is like, you and my mom when I get back to Pittsburgh.

Like, if some random dude wants to call me up at FaceTime or Skype sex, I'm here for it. I'm just put it out into the world. What else am I doing? Right. And also, like, I think women, You just put your hair up for that. Ashley, just put her scratchy in for this.

I took my hoops out. Women, I just think in general, not, I'm not going to make this crazy blank statement. Don't get all worked up. I think women can go way longer without sex. I think we are way better at not having physical sex. Like, we don't have to get it in. You know, like, I'm going to be good masturbating until who knows when.

Like, I've been in a really fucking long dry spell before. Like, I think the men are going to start to get like a little crazy. Like, guys are used to fucking a lot. Like, I'm not used to fucking a lot. Like I was when I was seeing this guy, but I can go six months in a dry spell. I do start to hate it, but it's fine. And I think that these real fuck boys, like the ones that are like, get it in all the time are going to start to lose their fucking minds.

They're going to be like walking around the streets, like the walking dead, you ball sacks full of cum, just like, uh, uh, got to put it in someone. Uh, no, like, they are those guys, you know who we're talking about, these guys that got to get in all the time, they are going to hit a point where I don't even know what's going to happen. So ladies, we haven't even seen the pinnacle, I don't think.

We're five days into this. Like, male behavior. I am so fascinated to see how this changes dating. And like, we can talk about the little more. But like the state of dating, it might be different for five months. And then it might be different forever, you know? Like, this might change people forever. But like, dating in restaurants is over. Dating in bars is over.

Meeting somebody for an hour, getting and fucking them right after. That's over. They just have to act so differently now. I wonder if all these fuckboys are going to reform and they're going to actually realize what it really feels like to have an emotional connection with somebody because you have no other choice now other than to either build an emotional connection with somebody or not talk to them at all. Yeah. It's like real life, love is blind. Which teaser for next week, guys, we finally have somebody from Love is Blind on. It was supposed to be today, but we feel like we need to hone in on this coronavirus stuff. So next week, get excited. We're

so excited. I think so too. I mean, we talked about this earlier. Like I was, when we went live with Matthew Hussey, like all the ways that this is going to shift where guys before men and women, like, not just guys, but where people were used to like, and now we get physical. And you can't. So when you could have leaned in for a kiss before, this is Matthew's quote, when you could have leaned in for a kiss before, now you have to ask them another question. You know what I mean? Like, it's just going to change the way people are. I mean, I think some positivity is going to come out of it. I think that people are going to start valuing human connection more and not taking it

for granted. I think we're going to come out of this changed. And I'll get into it and get a little deeper with it at the end. We give our kind of like positivity talk. But it's changing everything. You know, I think we're going to get to a place in a few weeks to a month where a lot of people are going on full-blown Skype, Zoom, FaceTime dates with strangers from Bumble and Hinge and dating apps.

I really, I think it's going to come to that. I don't think we're there yet. People might be doing it. Let us know if you are, because we're going to talk to you again in a few weeks, because I think we're going to do an episode on this. We're going to keep updated on how dating landscape is changing, but I think people are going to match on hinge,

match on Bumble, Raya, whatever, and set up their cameras and pour a glass of wine and go on dates. I truly think so. I think it's going to be great. And I think this will really show people the meaning of human connection. And I think that like that really is the silver lining and all this, is people will really start to,

I mean, look, not everybody will. Some people get out of the house finally and be like, I have to fuck everything. But I think a lot of people, like, something that Alta Matthew Hussey said to us earlier that really struck a court with me, he was like, people are also not leaving dates and going to fuck the last person they fucked.

And then also opening up their phone and texting and DMing all those people. Like, I think that you actually now have the ability to hold somebody's attention a little bit longer than you used to be able to. And I'm guilty of that too. I've left a date that I enjoyed, but like I've texted a sure thing after that

and like went and had sex. And so instead of going home and ruminating on this person, person and thinking, do I like this person? Did I enjoy what they had to say? I went. I had a sexual interaction with another person. And it just, it like lessens like the meaningfulness of the conversation and the interaction

I had with that other person. And I think that this will actually allow women, but mostly men, to really like value the time that they spent with a person. And like you said, ask another question. Instead of being like, looking at their watch and be like, I got to fuck the next girl. Yeah. Yes. And I mean, I don't know.

Maybe we change our standards and principles. references for physical appearance. I'll, fuck it, I'll talk to a guy that's 5-8. What do I care? We're not going to meet up. If he's keeping me entertained,

like what, you don't like what he does for work? Guess what? Unless he works in a grocery store of the hospital, he doesn't have a job right now. So who fucking cares. He's not working anyway.

So true. All the things that I look for on dating apps, which is occupation and height, none of that matters anymore. This is crazy. This is real love, love is blind. This is like,

if you eliminate all factors other than just your conversation skills, Like, what kind of relationships could you have? I'm going to get out of this. You're going to get out of this, standing a 5'4 bouncer at TGF. Redis. I'm dating Mark from Love is Blind.

You know I am? No. We don't like to height shame. I'm just really fucking tall. But no, we're making predictions now, which I think is fun to do. But we'll, we'll see where we're at in a couple weeks. And, you know, Ray and I are very aware in the coming weeks

that our type of content is going to change. We're still going to give you guys funny, hilarious content. We're still going to talk about sex. We're still going to talk about crazy stuff. Since we're remote, we're going to record with guests that we weren't able to record within New York. We're really, really excited about it. We're trying to, you know, look at the bright side.

But we're not going to tell you guys tips to go out of date because you can't go on date. So it's going to change. And I mean, I'm not saying I'm looking forward to it. I hate to even talk so positively about such a nightmare right now because people are dying. And, you know, it's a plague on our world. but our content is going to change

and I'm excited to see where it goes. Be too. I'm excited for the guests. And just one thing that was like on me, my whole content comes from memes now because I don't leave the house anymore. This thing that I read and then put in a practice, I do want to put it,

we'll do a whole episode. But like, you know, when people have started to spend all this time inside and your partner is driving you crazy, I do think the positive thing is that you are going to be able to bring up stuff that like you might not have brought up before and it will strengthen, in relationships because like literally where are they going to go? And like I tried this the other day

with this guy who like, this is the only person I've been sitting for a year. He, so my neighbor and I like spent all this time together and there's things about him that I really like, but there's obviously things I don't. And I like brought one of those things up the other night because I was like, I mean, where is he going to go? You know? And I don't know. I feel like it like gave me the opportunity to, we're just not very like cuddly and intimate. Like we hang out and we joke around, but like we don't, like, touch a lot when we're not, like, having sex. And I don't love that. And, like, we were watching, like, a comedy show. And I was like, do you want to, like, lay down on the couch and, like, got a blanket? We, like, snuggled. And, like, I know that sounds, like,

not a big victory, but, like, that's not really something I would have asked for if I wasn't in this situation. And I, like, that's something I was glad that. Because he was great. He, like, immediately got on the couch and, like, snuck off and I fell asleep on him. And it was, like, this cute thing. Again, it's not something I'm, like, a serious relationship with. But, like, it has allowed me to ask for this little thing that I never would have asked for, but I'm like in a home with a person and there's nowhere to go. Well, I didn't know this story. I'm so glad you told it. Did you feel like you liked him any more after that? Because I know that you like that type of like non-sexual physical intimacy. Yeah, I crave it and that makes me feel close to somebody. And that's

what separates a fuck buddy for me from somebody that you actually have like intimacy with, you know? and I never would have even really thought. I keep thinking like, why don't I feel this deep intimacy with this person who I've, like, been sleeping with for a year? That's because I'd, like, never really give it a chance. But, like, we've been spending every day together. So I was like, let me just ask for a year, bitch. My dad was like, is your boyfriend going to come downstairs tonight?

I was like, this is so inappropriate for you to be asking me. Oh, my God. But, like, yeah, it was this tiny little thing. I never would have asked for it. and I was glad that I asked for it. And like, we probably are not a long-term match. But like if it made me feel comfortable and better in that situation, I'm glad I asked for it.

I think that like couples will hopefully start to do these tiny little things. That doesn't mean like, nah, your partner and harp on them all the time. But like if something's been really bother you, ask the question because they can't leave. Well, I want to piggy back off what you were saying. And yeah, there's all the jokes about memes, bring it up now. Like, where's he going to go? Like, pick a fight. Where's he going to go?

All that kind of stuff. Yeah. But on a more serious note, like, there's some truth to that. Like, you are together quarantined for who knows how long. Like, what better time to work through your shit? You know what I mean? Like, I think there's often with people, you know, women especially that you have that insecurity in a relationship.

Like, what if he leaves me or what if he, you know, meets somebody else or he's flirting with somebody else at work? He doesn't remember to go. Like, bring it up. You're stuck. It's almost like the olden days. Like there's no, you know, whatever. I guess you can always flirt with people on the internet.

Like we have, you know, everything, we have access to everybody on our phone. But I don't know. I think there's this sense of like we're in this for the foreseeable future. Let's work through this shit. Yes. And I think that actually this gave me an interesting thought. When you think about like how long marriages used to last, that all of our grandparents were married for 60 years, 70 years, things like that,

it's because women really couldn't go anywhere, right? like women couldn't financially leave. It wasn't, I mean, first of all, it just wasn't socially acceptable, but women did not have an income to leave. So whatever happened with your partner, they had to stay pretty much. I mean, unless somebody was physically abusing you, and even then they stayed. And I think men, on the other hand,

didn't know how to do things like raise their children and housework chores and how to feed themselves. So men stayed. And I think that, you know, people have so many more choices today, so they leave and they don't work through things. And not everything is worth working out for sure. Sometimes you just need a person and they're not your person. And there's nothing. I'm not, that was the first conversation I had with that guy. I mean, it's not years long of things I've had to bring up. But, you know, I think that relationships used to just last longer because people legitimately had nowhere to go. And like, we're sort of back to that now. We're like, you have no choice but to work on it. Because where else are you going to go? So work on it. Bring the thing up. Start the fight. Start the fight. I also, what I love, we're not going to dive too deep. Again, we feel like we're going to do a, we're going to have an episode soon on couples that are, you know, this is kind of more of a single.

woman focused, but we'll do a deeper dive on couples and we'll interview couples that have been quarantined together. It's going to be hilarious, but we're really sad. We don't really know. But I think a lot of men are seeing a lot of families with children. I think the men are seeing how much work the woman puts in in a traditional family structure. I say traditional, where the woman is more of the caretaker for the children is what I mean. And I think that with the kids being home and these moms and these parents having to like homeschool their children, figure out activities to do. Like, I've seen so many dads be like, damn, I didn't know.

I didn't know how much like, you know, now we're all home. And I'm seeing like the work and dedication you have to like dedicate to these kids. Because I'm home from work now. And I get it. And I think that's a positive that's coming out of it too. It's like dads appreciating what their wives are doing for their children. Absolutely. I mean, it's just, it's like an out of sight out of mind thing.

You could not even imagine like how hard it is to deal with it. All my friends with kids had been home with their kids for like a day. they're like, I'm going to fucking kill them. People don't really, it's been like all this content about like paying teachers more. But like everybody I know is like trying to like figure out how like homeschool their kids and also work and also have a sex life with their partner.

And like I can't even imagine like what that feels like. So yeah, I think people are going to start appreciating so much more what their partner does. You like don't even get me started on teachers being underpaid. I hope this is an awakening for us all. I think it's an awakening on a lot of fronts. But geez, I mean, we all, all these,

all these parents are having to homeschool their fucking kids. Like they're like, I didn't sign up to be a teacher. Like I think everybody's having so much more respect for teachers. I always did. I come from a family of teachers. I've always felt like they were grossly underpaid and they're the most important people that we have. We're nothing without education. But I love this like newfound appreciation for what they fucking do.

Oh, yeah. So my cousin Casey, who's one of our biggest fans, she is so beautiful. I wonder she's been married to her husband for a very long time. I don't want to guess. I want to say, because she listens to the show. I want to say 16 years is my guess. But they have three little kids.

So she's like, I'm at home right now. I have to work and I have to figure out school plans for three children. And I was like, oh my God. Oh, my God, it's my worst nightmare.

I could do it. I almost gave Dewey away today. I mean, I can't give way. There's nobody to give him to. But he just was bad all day. Like if you guys watched my Instagram story, he was in the mud,

but he woke me up this morning, whining. he's been chasing the cats. Like today has been like that day where I'm like, not that I wanted children, but I definitely couldn't have them. Like I hated my dog today. Like as much I just like it's,

it's yeah. It makes me happy that I only have to worry about myself. I mean, I would love to have a partner and somebody to like do this with, I guess, but like you and I have our families and I wish I could be with my dad in Texas. But yeah, like at least I really am only worried about myself. I don't have any pets.

I'm really just worrying about my plan. plants and the plants. You're going to have to get your boyfriend water your plants while you're gone. I know. I've got the spare key for him actually. Oh my God. This is crazy. So, like, I just feel like people are going to want to know more. Like, do you think you'll even keep in touch with them really when you leave the building? Like, you'll text this stuff. He's better on text, which is crazy. He's funny on text. It's a real bait and switch because he is funny on text and he does not bring that into the in-person interaction. He doesn't bring it IRL. He just brings no heat.

You've sent me screenshots and I'm like, he's funny, but how can he not be in person? I don't get it. All of our friends. All of our friends have said the same thing. I worry about leaving him here alone. I feel sad that like people are going to be alone. You guys have really connected. Because he doesn't have a choice. Where is he going to go? It has been nice to just, I will say, it has been nice to have somebody to just like take a walk with every day

and be like I'm having a bad day. Can you come downstairs and drink my beer? Yeah. I mean, there really are no rules. Like I was like the guy that I was talking about that I was kind of dating that, I mean, we're not now, but we're talking. He had like posted something like a video

and his like shirt was off and he looked really good. And I was like, ugh, whatever. And why did I find myself DMing him like, yo, can I get that extended cut? We're so mad about this. He looked hot and I was annoyed. And I was like, then I just was like, I'm going to need that for my spank bang. So if you could send me the extended cut.

There's no rules. It's times are tough. I know. Last night I asked to God to send me photos of himself doing push-ups. And I was like, how much desperate stuff have we done? I have been reckless this week, okay? The only person that I haven't texted is the person I was engaged to. And that's it.

That's it. everybody else I've been so reckless with. I'm about to drive to South Carolina. Just move back back. Yeah. I know. I'm trying to, I haven't really done.

I don't know. This, it's a, that guy that like on hinge, he like wanted to be, he was like the guy, he was like, he was like, he wanted to be pen pals.

Like, he gave me his number. I don't know if I want to give my number yet. I just feel like, too soon in the relationship. I don't want him blowing me up. I'm just like, just keep it in the app.

Where are we going? I don't, you don't need my number to meet me at a restaurant. Just keep it in the app. I don't fucking care. Where does he live? He lives in New York, but it's Lego guy. I just joked.

What I was doing during the quarantine, I was like, I'm with my family, and I was like, how many Lego sets have you been putting together? I mean, what else is there to do? He said he has three on deck. Three Lego sets on deck. I mean, what else is there to fucking do besides build Legos and text you? Also, here's the other thing. Not only does height not matter.

anymore or what you do for a living where you live also doesn't matter because I'm never going to see you. I can start dating people from Omaha, Nebraska. I don't fucking care. I'm never going to see you, ever. We are going to have so many boyfriends. I can't wait. That we're never going to

meet. Just fucking from coast to coast. Phone fucking. It is wild. I know I keep bringing up love is blind. Obviously, I love the show and we're going to have we'll have our love is blind guest on next week. But it really came to life. Who knew? Okay.

So, like, spoiler for the episode. They recorded that and it didn't come out for like almost a year and a half. And then they released it like the week before the coronavirus pandemic. I feel like Netflix fucking started the coronavirus. Okay. I know our stupid puppy orange president keeps calling it the Chinese virus. But I feel like fucking Netflix started it. Yeah.

And that's incredibly racist. And he should stop doing that. I feel like Netflix was like, we know it's coming. Let's show them how to do this. Right. And they were like, put out the show. show. Put out the show when people have to date in quarantine pods. But it's true. It's like I'm dating and love is blind. That's it. And then like they move in

together and that's the stage that I'm in where they live together. And it's like they can't leave each other. Like we've never, we have hung out more times this week and we've hung out in months. I know every time I talk to you, you're with them. You put them on your Instagram story. You went rogue. I'm reckless. I am so reckless. I put him on my Instagram story. I don't fucking care. because nothing matters anymore. That's a crazy thing to do. He looked hot. That's why I put him on the Instagram story.

Yeah, he did look good. Oh, my God. Well, I'll do some more crazy shit. I don't fucking care. You know, I was trying to beat my like stubborn self a couple days ago. I was like, I don't care. Of some dude who is also a little asshole

and you were like, I don't fucking care. I'm just going to watch it. Yeah, I like, what are these people going to do about it? I used to like talk to the sky, whatever. I wouldn't say it ended well. I was like, I'll watch his live. What am I going to do? I'm in here.

Yeah, I would say it ended pretty poorly. But you're like, what's he going to do about it? He's going live. I'm in. We're going to do some more lives for you guys too. Because we didn't, we don't have live shows. We don't have lives. We don't have actual lives.

So we just know Texas. We were supposed to be there with you this week. So we're going to go live for you. We're going to live for Texas. It's funny, I like have this notebook of jokes that like I wrote for the Texas shows. And I was like, I went on a date with this like, really nice, healthy, wholesome guy, like self-help kind of person.

And then like five days later, I fucked like Satan, basically. And so I was like writing all this material of the juxtaposition of the two people. And I like saw that in my notes today. And I'm like, God damn it. And now we can use it. Yeah, let's burn our material to the ground.

Oh my God. Yeah. So keep your eye out. We'll give you guys heads up. We're not just going to like go live. Like we've never even really done it. So we're going to, we'll give you heads up of like when to tune in. Because we want to do stuff.

We don't just want to talk. We want to get people involved and have it be a fun experience for everybody. We want to give you notice. You can have your wine ready and do all the things. I want to talk. We have a very fun game for you guys planned, a really fun like segments, user or listener submission segment at the end.

I wanted to talk about like the positives of all this and like what I perceive to be positive outcomes, silver lining, whatever, whatever verbiage you like to use. I don't want to admit. I don't want to say like, this is going to be great.

It's bad. It's people are dying. left and right, you know, I don't, I don't know anybody that's died from this, but I'm sure some of you listeners do. And so we clearly have compassion. People are going to lose their jobs and people are going to feel really desperate. It's going to be dark for a lot of people. But I think when we all come out of this, I think this is like really going to be a revolution. Like I think we've seen this in history. We've seen it with wars and with plagues and whatnot. And you come out of it and the world has changed. And I think we can all agree that the world needed some change. You know, I think, that we're going to come out of it. The environment's getting better for one, you know, like without all the travel and the pollution and the factories and things that are running. So I think we needed like an environmental reset. I think we all needed a little bit of a reset. I think this is really showing how much our healthcare system was fucked. And I think it's showing the American people how much that needs fixed and how broken it really was. And I think that

we're going to value human interaction more. I think people are going to learn more skills. I think they're going to be more appreciative, not take things for granted. And I think it's going to give us a chance to reconnect to ourselves, reconnect with family and friends, obviously. You know, I think there's going to be a lot of reconnecting happening going on. And I pray and I hope, and I really do truly believe that we're going to come out of this and things are going to be different for the better. Oh, I love that speech.

I completely, I co-signed that completely. And I think that, I mean, obviously we're not diminishing what other people are going through. but it's a terrible thing. We want to give credit to what people are going through. But I guess the silver lining is that you can reconnect with loved ones and learn new skills. And I mean, the human race will bounce back. We always bounce back. And all we have to do is try to see the silver lining in this and try to be kind to each other. And if you have $5 to help somebody, you know, use your $5 to help somebody. Pick up the phone. Remember that people are really lonely at this time and really need just like some human interaction. And like let's just try to be kind and be good and be resourceful and not do things like hoard,

paper, be an asshole. But I have seen a lot more kindness in the world lately and kindness for myself and I'm proud of that. I'm proud of what it's doing for me and my family. And yeah, I couldn't set it better than you. I think that's, I think that hopefully we'll come out of this a better society and better people. And I don't want to sound insensitive because I know people are like really going through it right now. You know, I know there's just there's, you know, people that have lost their lives that have lost their life savings. You know, I don't want to diminish that at all. I mean, collectively as a whole, I think we're going to come out of this. And it's going to be this point in history.

Like we're really like living history right now, what we're seeing. Like it's a true like study all the revolutions in this United States and otherwise. Like it's big shit like this that just shakes everything up and you come out different on the other side. And my hope is that we come out better politically, environmentally and health care wise. So yeah. And in the meantime, Ashley and I are going to put out as much content as we can. want to make you guys laugh. And, you know, I think that I'm not an environmentalist. I'm not a scientist. No one's looking at me for environmental information about, you know, viruses, the way

the things, you know, grows. So I think that people look to us for a little bit of normality and comedy in this time. And that's what we're going to do for you guys. And we're going to make videos and we're going to have great guests. And we're in it with you guys. And we love all of your submissions. And we love to see that you guys are seeing the funny stuff through this as well. And we're going to play a game with you guys in a second, stuff that you submitted. And Of course, everybody is sad and uncertain, and I cry every day too, but I love that you guys are still saying positive and have submitted so much great stuff. So we're here with you guys through this.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, let us shift into pandemic pickup lines. Terrible male behavior. We're back. No, I can appreciate some of these. I'm going to kick it off with my favorite lines. Some girls submitted this preemptively.

We asked people for funny pickup lines. This girl preemptively emailed this to us. Corona pickup lines. If Corona doesn't take you out, can I? Oh my God. Jeez. Also, not super original because like 100 other girls submitted that same thing. Oh, I see.

It's yeah. Someone's admitted to. Oh, geez. This one. God damn. I don't hate it. The restaurants might be closed, but I think I know a good place that we can eat out.

It's really making light of a situation. Okay. Here's one that involves spelling. You can't specify. I'll quarantine without a URA QT. Yeah, that's overwhelmingly. I feel like guys are out here really with that one. I've seen the meme.

Yeah, you are a QT. I don't hate it. Plain and simple, come over. I have toilet paper. Wow. That guy just like, he picked the two human necessities, which is shitting and sex,

and he really just put it out there. I don't love a pun. I feel like this guy could have done better. Okay. Do you have the coronavirus because I can't stop thinking a chew? like it's like sneezing at you. No, I hate it. Get out of here.

Well, let's talk about symptoms with this one. Tinder opening I got. Is it hot in here or is it just our fevers and shortness of breath? Probably came from a doctor. Okay. Are you the projected spread of COVID-19 because your curves are anything but flat? What? Curve into a pickup up.

applied. I'm impressed. I know. This one's stupid. Whatever. Babe, you're so fine that I'd rather be six inches deep rather than six feet away. Six inches deep. That's not that deep. He wants an average deepness. He's got a boyfriend size dick. Yeah. Okay. I don't know how to say this so that I can properly explain what this says because this is crazy. Okay. I want to say this the right way. Will you be my COVID daddy?

Like, and he put the word COVID daddy. One word, COVID daddy. That's the new daddy. Yes. Okay, that's what I'm. Will you be my new COVID daddy? That's how you say it. Seeing it written out is so funny. I don't know if you can see it.

It's a funny ass word. Okay. This one's good. I like this. I like their relationship. She submitted. I shower today. So I'm ready when you are my husband.

Also, very important to take showers at this time, guys. This guy also meshing words. What's up my quorn queen? This one, he'd even, this is like just a bad, bad wordplay. I hope his foreplay is better than his wordplay. But she said, definitely had a guy say, show me your corn titties during this difficult time.

Quarantitties. I'm actually, I don't. I think that's really hard. Okay. I'm another boob-themed one. I feel like my ex-boyfriend wrote this. It's so stupid. So your boob job is getting pushed back because of this right,

I wanted to see those tinnies. Like the new tinnies. He's like, God damn it. This one's good. I feel like you'll appreciate this one. How about you make like Corona and spread for me? Girl, you so fine. You must be in high demand like toilet paper.

Oh, my God. Lots of toilet paper themed stuff here. Yeah. Want to participate in a Corona baby boom? Oh my gosh. Yeah, you gotta name your kid Corona with the K, like the Kardashians. Oh my God, I got another one for you.

Okay. The only inoculation against COVID-19 is me injecting my tongue into your ass. Oh. You don't hate that one. You don't hate that at all. He shot his shot. Oh, this one's so gross.

I'm so bored. Please talk to me. Ew, stop being desperate. Come up with something better. This one is fucking stupid, but I like it. You definitely won't survive this. The hot girls always die. It's pretty funny.

It's true. You learned it and scream. Guys, scream. I can't recommend this movie from 1997 enough. Are people out here not watching scream? People have quoted me on that. Like,

I didn't know that that was the thing that like some of our listeners I've seen it on Twitter and in the Facebook group. I can't recommend this movie from 1997 enough. I think it was 96. I see show me your quarantinies again. I think it's funny. Okay, we met up in the middle. All right, guys, well, those are your pandemic pickup lines.

Glad to see that through all this tragedy, men are still finding a way to be terrible. That's what's important at this time. But yeah, thank you guys for letting us make you laugh. We love you. We're thinking about you. We are devastated, of course, we can't be in your cities with you. And this is changing rapidly day to day. So we're staying up on it.

But, you know, you'll know more stuff about live shows when we know. We just love you guys. We want to keep you smiling. Yeah. Just stay tuned on obviously the episodes, our Instagram. Usually you'll see any sort of fundraiser, update, whatever it may be, notification that we're going live, all those things on Girls Got to Eat podcast, Instagram. My Instagram's Ash Hess, rena.org. Our website, we will announce as shows, we hope no more canceled. If they are, we will announce it on social media, Facebook, Instagram,

Twitter, but you can look at our website. So Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com. Also, I literally don't care shows.com. You, as soon as a show gets canceled or rescheduled, Raina, we'll put it on the site. So if you are really freaking out about the shows in May, we are too, but we will announce as soon as we can on social media, but you can always, we have, you know, we're working on this stuff all day every day. So as soon as we hear a show is canceled, it's coming off the website. So Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast.com. If you at this time want to buy merch, go for it.

You know, we're not pushing that kind of stuff on you guys, but obviously you can get Girls Got to eat stuff. You want to wear it while you're in quarantine. You want to wear the hats, the shirts, the sweatshirts, you know, sip out of the mugs. You don't live here anymore, bitch is a pretty strong power move as a mug during quarantine. So that's all we got. You know, we'll keep you guys updated.

And we have a really fun episode for you next week. All right, guys, stay safe out there. Be safe. stay with fuck home. We love you. Okay. All right. Bye.