Girls Gotta Eat - Dealing With Our Demons feat. Comedian & Bravolebrity Hannah Berner

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

It's a hot one! We are so excited to have Hannah Berner of Bravo's Summer House, Berning in Hell podcast, and meme royalty to discuss mental health when it comes to dating, tackling your own issues, and the differences between toxic relationships and healthy ones. We're also talking about the allure of ugly-hot guys, difficulty getting over funny guys, and a whole bag of weird shit during a hilarious round of Red Light Green Light. Enjoy! Follow Hannah on Instagram @BeingBernz. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast and check our website for tour dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Fabletics: Get 2 leggings for just $24 at fabletics.com/gge. Living Proof: Get 20% off any No Frizz products at livingproof.com/gge, use promo code GGE. HelloFresh: Get $80 off your first month at hellofresh.com/gge80 and use the code GGE80. Lola: To get 40% off subscriptions, go to mylola.com and enter GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nothing against his ex. It's all beautiful queens. But, um, but we, I wish you could see our faces, guys. That was the fakes shit I ever heard. Guys, welcome back to another episode of Girls' Gaddy. Welcome back to Raina's birthday episode. We got a great episode today.

Yeah. Uh, Hannah Burner is with us today. Reality TV superstar. That's not why she's on the show. We don't even care. We don't do reality show people. We love her because of her podcast and her take on like mental health and all these other things. And she's our friend now and she's so great.

But she is on Summer House or she was on this last season of Summer House. Bravo, which is on Bravo. I feel like I need to give a disclaimer, if that's the right word. I don't know. That when we did her interview with her, I had not ever watched Summer House, which was a little awkward. I'm like, hey, I don't watch your show. And I was like, Ashley, can you leave, please? We can talk about this?

have since watched the entire season start to finish because I was like, now I'm intrigued. I knew I would like it. You know, like, I like those shows. I love Southern Charm. And so then now I know her. So I was even more interested in watching it. And I watched it. And I watched this and couldn't talk to you about it.

And now you're like living this in real time. And I'm like, yeah, I know. Thought about this. Analyze me, read the blog. That is so annoying. About it. Like, no, I'm just glad that you know about the show now. I'm like such a fan of the show.

I mean, like you said, it's not while we invited her on our show. I couldn't care less to somebody is a reality TV star. She's the only person we would have from the show on our podcast. I want to be real clear. Also, that show ends with a, I mean, spoiler alert, but I'm not going to tell you who, but the finale, the season finale, season three ends with a proposal. And you know, I cried at everything. I cry at every single, I've cried at every single proposal on The Bachelor,

Bachelorette, even if I don't like the people, I didn't cry at this. That's how little. It's a little of you like that guy. Yeah. But the show is great. And if you want to just watch, Hannah's only on season three. And you can just start,

I just only watch season three. You don't have to watch other seasons. It's not that deep. Yeah. It's not. Yeah. Just, I would recommend just watching season three. Okay, now that's our summerhouse plug.

Yeah. So we announced on social media last week, but we did add a second date in Minneapolis because the first night, Friday, August 2nd sold out in 24 hours. So you guys can come on Saturday night now, August 3rd. Those tickets are going pretty fast, but there's still some tickets available. So obviously stupidliveshows.com.

And yes, I cannot wait to be there. I think it should be the most like crowd ever. I can't wait for Minneapolis. So excited. Also, stupid live shows in Phoenix, Salt Lake City, and Denver on July 15th. The second show that we added, Phoenix is the 14th. Salt Lake City is the 18th. and a few tickets left in Toronto and Montreal as well.

And then Atlantic City. Yeah. We need to talk about Atlantic City. Yeah. So Atlantic City is going to be so lit. I just can't recommend this enough. Like if you were thinking of doing like a girl's trip or something, like this is going to be it.

We are blowing this shit out. We may never do a casino again. I don't fucking know. So like neither of us are big casino gals. So this is huge. We're so excited. I just booked some entertainment and I don't want to give

I don't want to give it away but I'm going to do a little teaser for you Ready? Can't keep this song That's it. That's it. I get horny listening to that song. So take your guesses.

Got a little. What's happening? Yeah. That's it. So, you know, we really want to push this show and hope that you guys come and, I mean, come from Philly, come from New York, come from New Jersey, wherever you are, fly in, whatever.

This is going to be a show. It's so, I'm just speechless. I think we're saying. I'm so excited. It's not stupid. This is just sexy, sexy live show. Yeah. Come see me in a bandage dress.

Bandage? Bandage. Bandage dress. It's bandage. It's not bandaid dress. Band-aid dress. Band-aid is a brand name. You can't be out of saying Band-aid.

It's copyrighted. All right. Well, I'm making a dress out of Band-Aid's. Yeah. Like Lady Gaga's like meat dress. You're wearing a Band-Band-dress. That was stupid. It's like Airveillege.

Harvey Ledger. All right. So, so today is my birthday. Yes, happy birthday. Thank you. Not today the day we're recording, but today the day that this is out.

So June 17th, I'm a Gemini. A lot of my favorite people are Gemini. It's a good season, man. I am not like a big birthday person. I've never been one of those girls that has a birthday week, birthday month. My mother has a whole birthday.

same month. Yeah. Maybe I'm just, I'm pretty self-involved, which is crazy. Like, I don't care that much. Because you're like,

every day is my birthday. Yeah, like, I feel like I get enough attention day to day. Like, last year for my birthday, I'll tell you what I did. I planned a huge birthday party.

I'm like, I didn't know you. Like, you didn't know about this. I planned a big birthday party with my friend Jeremy, and then it was cold that day and I just canceled my birthday party. We talked about this in the podcast. Yeah. I talked about you canceling your birthday. Yeah, it was like 50 degrees and I was like,

I'm just like, so. What else are we doing? Jeremy was so mad at me. And then on my actual birthday, Jeremy and I were in Denver. This is just a friend of mine for you guys who don't know. But we were in Denver flying back from a food and wine festival,

and I got blacked out drunk in the Delta Sky Lounge with him, got on a plane, passed out, lost my wallet, and that was my birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday to you. Lost all your shit. And I got it back. Did ever tell you that?

Yeah. Lost my wallet on a, like I had to ever tell you that. I talked to you every minute. But yeah, this year I'm having a birthday party. We'll say. Maybe I'll cancel it. Well, it was yesterday. Technically.

So yeah. Yeah. You guys can leave a review on iTunes for us for my birthday. That's my wish for me. Please go on iTunes and leave a review about how great the podcast is. Yeah, definitely. And this just starts. My birthday's in three weeks, a month, whatever.

So, I mean, our birthdays in the same month. So leave those reviews, guys. That's all we want. I don't need anything else for my birthday. I got everything I need. Okay. So, yeah, it's your birthday. June 17.

June, also Pride Month. We haven't really talked about it. Just wanted to go ahead and voice our support for the LGBTQ community. I think it's pretty obvious. We support the LGBTQ community, but we've just been talking a lot about pride. Taylor Swift released that new song, which was awesome. Amazing. And I mean, you know, I just, celebrities supporting causes, it's great, but it's, you know, more important for just everyday regular people to support these causes. But I think it's still love that she did that and like through some major shade to homophobic people. Don't have me start a homophobic people. You're homophobic.

I mean, fuck cares. Fuck off. Yeah. So, I mean, just wanted to get it out there that, obviously, happy pride. Support your charities and nonprofits that you like. You know, stay woke. It's happy and it's pride and it's all exciting and stuff. But there's still plenty of like hate crimes and bad stuff happening.

So just like support your fellow people in your community that are LGBTQ. I'm just like going off. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if I didn't plan to give a PSA today. But, you know, it's pride. So I think it's nice to like, you know, wear a rainbow t-shirt. but I think that, like, you should also do things that are activist and come forward and help people and donate and, you know, march for a cause. And I think that, like, yeah, it's great to, like, paint the door of your restaurant, rainbow colors.

But, you know, I think it's more important to donate and do things to help this community. So, no, I think it's important to talk about it. And obviously we're huge supporters of that community. And, you know, as always, when it's time to vote, vote for lawmakers that also support the LGBTQ community and their right to get married and all of the other things. Okay, so I don't really have much else going on. I don't either. I have a show tonight. I don't know.

All right, yeah. I mean, not every intro has to be 45 minutes. So you guys are welcome. We're going to get into the episode. Today, as we mentioned, we have one of our ultimate girl crushes in the house studio with us and Dewey. She is the host of Burning and Hell podcast. She is a cast member on the current season of Summer House,

which we are also obsessed with. She's a video content creator, and she's a hysterical meme account being Burns. So welcome to the studio at Hannah Burner. Thank you, my love. Yay, we're so glad to have you. I just posted an Insta story. I said, you're my girl crushes too,

and I want to have sex with your voices. Yes. A guy once messaged us out. I want to fuck your voices. It sounds cuter when you said it. No, do not say fuck. It is a romantic, loving feeling when you're listening to a podcast.

It's not aggressive. Right. And men are just... Gross. Gross. Before we get started, I have to say that you were literally on the way over here and I'm getting tagged in your meme.

sent your meme. I probably have 100 DMs right now because you posted a meme about a croissant. And I don't know if you know our track record with croissants, but basically someone wrote an iTunes review one time that was like, I hate the way that Ashley says quisson. And so we've turned it into a thing. People bring them to me at shows. It's a whole thing. Every single day, all day. I get people dozens and dozens of being tagged in memes. So your meme account or it's your Instagram account, but your memes are incredible. You just posted. You can tell a lot about a person, by the way, they say, It's true.

And so I've been getting it a lot. So now I feel like I want to know your take. So on a first date, I take a guy to a nice little bakery. Prefer, not Starbucks. You want to go like a fancy place. And you see how, you say, I want that. And you see what he does. And if that motherfucker says croissant, he has a stick up his ass.

No. But if he, but I say, I say, I say croissant. So I don't hit it hard. I'm not like croissant. I go quisson. Yes. Thank you. Because I'm an American.

I'm not trying to be something I'm not. I'm an American. I am an American, USA. But if you start going like Crescent, then we have an issue too. No. People say Crescent. You got to be in the middle lane. And people, then like Long Island girls are like, I'll have a croissant.

Yeah. I just, I'm not trying to be French. Like I'm not out here asking for, like. How do you say the white wine? Like a caesodilla. Oh, yeah, you're not like, grasi ass. Yeah. How do you say the white wine that starts with an S and ends with a

and it's two words. Savian blanc? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Shit, okay. Let me think about what I naturally think.

Don't overthink it. I say Sauvian blanc. Okay. It's a teeny bit, but I have a girlfriend. Some people go in Sauvian Blanc. Don't say that. Nobody says that. When I'm drunk, I say that.

I'm like, a school is like, have a Sauvian Blanc. But I have a girlfriend that just straight up says, like, can I have a Savian Blanc? No, honey. But anyway, I, I, I'm making. It makes it up. Sometimes I go in and I'm like, I don't feel like being judged today. You know what? So I'll say croissant.

But my natural reaction is a light French. Yes. Cuisant, just quick. I think you're a product of where you were brought up. So neighborhood in Pittsburgh called North for Sales. It never in my life occurred to me that it's Versailles. Oh, yeah. Never in my life.

North for Sales whole life. Not until I went to Paris. Did I realize it's Versailles? Oh, Americans know how to butcher everything, don't we? Yeah, we ruin everything. But anyway, back to you. So you're from New York. I'm from Brooklyn, New York.

Yeah, people get annoyed because it's like going to Harvard or like, I say it a bazillion times. That's how you know people go to Harvard. You know I'm from Brooklyn because I'm from Brooklyn. I had a Brooklyn necklace. But I've tried to calm down on it because now Brooklyn's kind of overdone. Yeah, is that why you moved to Queens? I moved to Queens.

Yeah. It's low key. And you love meatballs too, right? Of course I love a meatballs. I love meatballs. I'm Italian. Oh, yeah. I just, I'm Italian.

I'm Sicilian, actually. So I have a little bit of anger, a little bit of spice, but then I'm half like Russian, Polish, Austrian Jew. So I'm like, I don't tan well. So at the end of the day. It's a good combination. Not to like shit on other reality shows, but Catherine on Southern Charm had a hard time saying

Sicilian last night on the episode. Oh my God, I didn't watch it. I haven't watched it yet. She just, she knew the words Sicilian, but couldn't just, she couldn't get that. Sick a lion. He's like, sisla. See, I don't know.

He calls me like baby. Oh, that's what she said. Also, Southern Charm, great show. Not as good to Summer House, but great show. Do you want to talk about Summer House? Do you want to take it? Do you want to ask for Summer House stuff? I don't know if you had anything.

Yeah, no, actually. So we haven't had like a lot of reality TV people on the show because we had one person on They're terrible. Terrible. Terrible. And it was, it was a situation. Which one? Just shut up drunk.

Yeah, we had Shep on it. Shep. I literally was, he, I didn't even want to. I don't like Shep. I want to be clear. I love Shep. Surprisingly, very intelligent. He reminds you by using words that I've never heard of before.

He is. And he's like liberal. It's crazy. But he shows up everywhere with his hair. Like, he looks so hungover any time of the day. Well, he should have drunk. So he wasn't hungover yet. He also promoted our show like almost more than anybody else has.

Did an Instagram post for eyes. He was great. Oh, that he is. I mean, he's my type. He's tall. He has a big nose. Like, I like, I'm into him. Am I your type?

Yeah, you are. They're going to, fuck after we stop recording. Honestly. I feel like... My nose is bigger than a hits. I bet. Shut the fuck up.

I feel like me and Raina like, we hit it off naturally, but like Ashley, you have to like win her approval. So like I like, I like really want her to like me. Yeah. It's like a slow game.

It's because it's just my cancer. It's a hard shell. I met her. The day I met her, I was like, I'm going to make this fish like me. Yeah. Like I don't give a fuck who she is. I want her to like me.

I don't care if she's a terrible person. I think it has a couple of them. I need her to like me. But that's what I'm in therapy for. So yes. People with me are like, if she could like me last, that would be great. If she could stop trying so hard, you're like a dog and she's like a cat. Nothing against Dewey. Okay. Does not like me right now. Let's get so much stuff to talk about. Let's just say that. Let's start with, I just want to hear about your podcast. Yes. What is it about? And then we're going to talk about the dog and Summer House. So if I was going to go into reality TV show, I realized I was going to get a platform and I want to show people some real shit. because people think because you're on TV

that you're like aspirational in some way when you're not. I'm still the same person. I don't want to pretend I'm not so I wanted to use it to show like some realness. And I started burning in hell because I'd met a lot of like, let's say, famous people or reality people.

And I wanted to show that everyone has demons. Everyone has anxieties and fears and I want to be the person to make them talk about it. So I have a comedy mental health podcast and it's a lot of fun. And I got people to open up about their hell. I'd love you both to come on, of course. But I just try to tear them apart.

And it's been really, I've learned a lot about how everyone's human. And it doesn't matter how much money you have, how many Instagram followers you have, they still could think they're ugly or hate themselves for whatever reason. Go to therapy. And you've been to therapy. Oh, hell yeah. Years. I mean, actually, I've only, I go on and off.

Because it's like, it's like a mind trainer. Yeah. If you always have a trainer, you feel like you're kind of, I don't know, always supported. So sometimes you want to get alone and see what you can do on your own. Yeah, let's spread my little wing. You just sensitize to the therapy. Yeah, and also I talk so much. I like don't, sometimes I'm like, I don't want to hear myself talking anymore.

Yeah, it's just another person you have to talk to. Yeah. Did you start the podcast before? So I, I got cast for the show and then I had the idea. So you'll see this season on Summerhouse when I like start thinking of it. But it really like, it's my passion project. I can control Summerhouse. I can control how they make me look or whatever.

But I'm like, if people like me from the show and want more for me, then I can trick them into making them laugh and learning about mental health and stuff. Yeah. Because that's, if I're going to have a platform, I kind of want to find a way to feel good about myself by helping others. So it's purely a selfish thing for me. Yeah. Yeah. I just think it's so brilliant. Like this isn't what we're talking about today, but that you were like, I'm about to be on TV.

I need to something else. Like that's what we loved about Caitlin Bristow, how she got off The Bachelor and she could have just started like slinging fit tea and sugar bear hair. and she was like, I'm going to do this other things. Just snorting fit tea every night. Also, your memes are incredible. It's insane. Even like the just, I hate to say dumb ones, but like, what did you post the other day? If you can't love me at my farts, you don't deserve me in my pheromones.

I'm like, what the fuck? How does this bitch is mine work? This is crazy. I'm demented. I don't repost everyone. Demented. And I love, I love you guys. Thank you so much.

We were like, last week. Pump the brakes on your name. Yes, we need to pump the brakes. My whole, I have like, 80 photos in my phone, 70 your screenshots of your account. Some of these meme accounts are all you. Like, Insta single is all you. People start getting mad and people start like hate on me. But you guys, you got to remember.

When your memes are fire, you're going to get hate. Remember that. That means your memes are good when people start saying, this girl's not funny. Oh, but also with great power comes great responsibility. I am followed. If anyone's like, oh, meme this, I get really excited. Because I work for betches.

I would make like 100 memes a week for them. And then that's why I do it on my own. But I have my own voice that's different than that. them. But on this, like, it's called Bob Mennery. It's like a very sports. It has like a couple million followers and they posted a guy shaking his head really fast and he's like, meamic dudes. And all these guys are commenting and I'm like, when his height starts with a five, I was getting death threats. Death threats. But if I were to do it on like a girl's account, girls would be like, yes, bitch. Oh my God. I just think objectifying men is healthy when you're not in the

head space to be vulnerable. Yeah. What a shocker that men are insecure. Crazy. Also, they say men's biggest fears are getting rejected. Women's biggest fears are getting murdered. So let that sit on you. Bob Menorie, the head guy of it, message me commented on it and was like, no, whatever fucking say hi to you anyway.

When that motherfucker had slid into my DMs before. And I don't think he knew. So I didn't respond. Now he's on blast. Oh my God. I'm like, I'm going to go on this podcast and who do I want to put on blast? But I didn't respond to it. End up deleting it because I couldn't take the hate anymore.

But like, know your audience. the moral of that story. For sure. Men are the worst. Only problems we've ever had shows, men. Yeah. Okay, so you went on Summer House. So when I was first talking about the show, you said something to me, and I thought it was really interesting.

So I asked you what it was like going on the show and seeing yourself on television for the first time. So I thought it was interesting what your take was. So how do you feel about it? Yeah, so I think a couple years ago, I wouldn't have had the confidence to go out and be okay with people seeing like any side to me. Like I was really fixated on like

If I'm going to be on a show I want people to know who I am And what I'm like I used to be the kind of person Like I'd immediately meet someone And be like they need to know How I'm funny and how I'm cool And they need to understand me

And then I realize yo Life you gotta chill out They'll find out They'll find out if it's meant to be And that's how it is with relationships That's how it is with friendships And I had some bad relationships And I got

I went into therapy And I really worked on like Sometimes it's nice to give other people space. Sometimes you just step back and realize there is where it is you are of how they're coming off. And I realized that the thoughts in my head were not always real, that it's mostly like criticism for when I was a kid from maybe my parents or coaches in sports I played. And once I learned to trust my intuition, that's when I was like, yeah, the show could go terribly bad for me. I could embarrass my entire family on national television. Or I could go out and like fight for something

I believe in. And, like, I wanted to go on and talk about anxiety. Anything that's fucked up. Show that I don't shave my legs all the time. Just be imperfect. And see how I affect and change the world. No, I'm just kidding. But see how girls DM me differently.

And to the show, we just had a season finale. We, like, I'm on the fucking show. Like, yeah, we just crushed the finale. Nobody loves Summerhouse more than Raina. Just, Rayna, let's just work. She's going to let you have it. Just pretend you're on the show. So we just have this.

I had the most embarrassing moment. You know this, but with Carl from Summer House. I was in H&M. I don't know this person. I can feel how red I am. Oh, my God, you are. It's also hot in here. It's hot in here.

In her defense, we can't turn the air on. It's too loud. I have never met this person in my life. Does not know who I am. I'm at H&M and I stop. He was there. And I go,

hi. And he looks to me and goes, I'm sorry, what? And I'm like, oh, I don't know you. Like, he has to know who I am. This is so embarrassing. He was like with his mom. Oh, Sharon.

I also know from the show because I'm on the show. I love Sharon. You're like, hi, Sharon. How are you? How are the kids? Okay. So, Raina, tell us how the finale went. Oh, it's the finale.

Okay. It was good. I will say, I have really never seen anybody get such a good edit on a reality show like you. There is nothing. I mean, it was your experience. So, like, I mean, I'm not you. But I think that, like, there was not a lot of, you don't look crazy or aggressive or emotional. Like, you look pretty even keeled on that show.

Thank you. Well, maybe because you are, right? Yeah. Well, I want to say, something about bad edits. I'm going to tell the truth. I think that when someone says I got a bad edit, they could edit you to look bad in one scene in any way. They can make you look awkward. They can make you look mean. They can make you look weird. But for them to make a storyline of a bad edit of you, you have to do that fucked up thing more than once. They're not going to go other

way to make you look awkward in every scene if you're not actually being awkward. So the point is just like go on and be yourself. Don't try too hard. And like I also would just go in and and try to make the videographers laugh. Like, it's day in and out. You don't know there's, like, tons of crew also that you become friends with, but, like, the camera guys would come in the room, and I'd be like, oh, my God, they're so obsessed with me. And I was just trying to have fun with it.

Yeah. Because there was a lot of anxiety in, like, saying one thing that's, like, racist and then just, like, losing your entire reputation. Yeah. Not that I would go around saying racist things, but, like, you're on national television. It's scary. You never know, yeah. And I'm glad you said that.

Like, you're right. Nobody is given a bad edit, a good or bad edit. You're right. You're totally, yeah. But things can be changed, but like you're not fucking innocent when you have a bad edit. For sure. Maybe you got a better edit or a worse edit than someone else who was also shitty. But the point is, you both are shitty.

You did those things. Yeah. I like what you're saying about, like, going to therapy and learning about your demons and things like that because you went through like a pretty serious relationship that was like tough for you emotionally. and I think that's why you started going to therapy, right? Well, I was a tennis player, and I had dealt with a lot of performance anxiety on the court, but it's all I knew.

Like, whenever it was match time, I would just, like, my heart would beat really fast. I would never get out of my head, and I'd never play well. And I was a high-performing player. I played number one for University of Wisconsin. I played a low professionally. But just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's what you're meant to do, which is crazy to hear because your whole life. is about, like, being successful.

So if you're successful at something, you think it's what your purpose is. Yeah. But, like, at 22, I was like, fuck this. It doesn't make me happy. But I had to start on the ground floor. Like, I thought I was going to be a tennis player in the whole life. Oh, my gosh, right. So my identity was kind of crushed, and I'm not going to lie.

I think that I started dating guys because I wanted to feel special again. Like, tennis was my identity that made me feel special. So I thought that I needed a guy to, like, for my ego to show, like, see, I'm still important. This cool guy is, you know, dating me. So I've always been like a monogamous dater and I've been around. And then like a recent relationship, I kind of was like, this guy's the one and then blindly just like wanted to make it work and start to lose who I was in it. And that's when I stopped and was like, I need to see a therapist and realize why this pattern's happening and how I find my own voice again. Because life is just like doing what you want to do. It's just sometimes

hard to know what you want. Right. Well, and I feel like that's probably where a lot of people just get the anxiety and depression of like, what is, what am I, what's my purpose? Like, what am I doing? Exxiety is, I think, the emotion of you not being aligned with your purpose. Yeah. Or like aligned with your true identity. It's like sometimes your body will tell you when something's wrong. Like you're ever like with the wrong person and suddenly you're like losing your appetite or like your heart beats fast. You keep getting migraines or like your blood. Or like your blood. loaded all the time. Maybe it's your body telling you to stop eating cheese, first of all, but second of all. Yeah, dairy is a problem. There's a problem. Take your lactate, but also this

might not be right for you. And it's hard because we all have stories in our head of what love and success is. But sometimes it's not what you thought when you were a kid. That nine-year-old Hannah, I felt like I was disappointing because I wasn't going to be a tennis player. I wasn't going to do whatever. But I realized, nine-year-old Hannah doesn't understand life like I do now. Yeah. We said that on an episode with, we had my friend Kelly on. She's a medium terror reader, life coach type of person. And it's like the number one thing is like listen to your body. And I think people get, they're like, oh, I have butterflies. I'm like, that's probably not good. It's anxiety. Like you're supposed to be with somebody that makes people comfortable and safe.

I like to say feel like home. Feel like home. Exactly. And so I just love that message. Was that way you went to therapy? Because you were like, I feel depressed. I feel anxious. Oh, yeah. I get a lot of messages from girls. I was depressed and anxious. and he was everything on paper that I thought I wanted. And I couldn't eat for three weeks. And I am a insane eater. Italian Jew. I'm an Italian Jew.

Like, eating is my life. All I do while I'm eating lunch is what I'm eating for dinner. So what was he like on paper? What was the good thing you like? So on paper, he was super successful and driven with his career. He was very smart. He was very handsome. him. He was tall, which is the most important thing.

He had money, if that's something you care about. And my friends thought it was amazing. I was dating him because he had some, like, clout in the world. And then it took me a couple months to realize, like, wait, I don't think he might be perfect on paper, but I don't think we're perfect for each other, which Disney doesn't teach you that shit. Wow. She doesn't even met the prince, and she's like, how do I marry the prince? That's literally how we live our life.

I know. Where's my prince? No, you're going to know. because your heart tells you. And I started to realize, like, I don't know everything about love, but I do believe in this whole, like, gardener flower thing. Mm-hmm.

And I think he was a flower and he needed a gardener, someone to, like, hold him down and, like, be strong for him and support him emotionally and all of his stuff. We're like, I was a fucking flower, too. So I was trying to be his gardener, and I didn't feel like I was getting any of the attention that I wanted. Yeah. And, like, I just started to wilt.

And, like, you know, I was a, I was a lame-ass ugly flower and I didn't like myself. I'm very into metaphors, by the way. I want to like dive deep into this one though. I feel like this is a very quotable episode already. And I mean, love is caring. But like everyone has a place of what they are.

And I wanted him to garden for me too. Yeah. And I don't think he was emotionally ready for that. And I'm using so many general metaphors, but it's because I'm trying to make it applicable to everyone. Like you want to be with someone that you don't want to feel like you have to be smarter or cooler or funnier. You want to feel like you just being you is, like they look at you like you're the only

person in the room. And what fucked me up was that I, once I started realizing the steep down, I thought I was self-habitaging myself like I do in tennis. So I was like, wow, you met the perfect guy and now you're getting bad anxiety and you're put it back on yourself. So I started getting like OCD thoughts of like, you're not yourself, you're ruining this relationship, you're all fucked up, like, what's wrong with you? And I just went to, like, the darkest place. And I know it sounds insane. And part of anxiety is, like, say it out loud. And if

your friend thinks you're insane, sometimes it makes you calm down. But when it's just your voice in your head, you're like, oh, I'm fucking crazy. And I'm gonna ruin this guy. And I'm ruining myself and I lost myself and who am I? And this is my life. And next thing you know, you can't eat. So we just went to a very dark place. Yeah. Did you like express these things to him? And like, how were you able to like verbally express that? The problem was is that I was the kind of person in the relationship where he would do little things. I mean, for example, in the very beginning,

we would hang out every Sunday. And then one day he was like, I'm free on Saturday. And I was like, hell yeah, let's hang out. And then like an hour later he called me and he's like, hey, so like we're ready hanging out Sunday. I don't know if we should hang out Saturday and Sunday. And I was like, dude, like, I just want to see you. And I immediately felt like he had this like wall up with me

and I immediately felt like I had to earn his love. Just like not to back it up to tennis, I always felt like I had to earn, you know, the love of people by winning. Because as a kid, when you win, people give you positive attention. When you lose, you felt like a shithole. Yeah. So I never used that word before. That was weird.

I don't know why I used it. It sounded okay. Thank you. It came out okay. You guys didn't act weird about it. I mean, I processed, it was weird. It was weird. It was weird.

I think you meant shipbag, but. I don't think you meant. Dirt bag and asshole and I just got all mixed up in my head. It was a negative connotation. No, girl, girl. When I found myself just being like, you have to be better, which is so normal for a person to be like, you finally met your prince, now you have to become the princess for him. And everything I was doing was never good enough.

Like, he still didn't want to really see me all the time. So I didn't, and I also didn't feel like once I called him and he was just like, yo, what's up? Like I was bothering him. Oh, no. So these little things are things that he probably doesn't even know, but they hurt my self-esteem to the point that, like, I was walking and eggshells around him,

but I thought it's because I just wasn't good enough. And then everything he'd do, I just, like, he always talked about his ex and things that they would do. Why? Well, he would complain. I hate how they do this. I hate it. And he's, we've, we had such an amazing good breakup.

Because since then he's been like, I know that was a mistake. He said it was like walking with dirt through your house that was clean, like just bringing dirt from past relationship. His exes were like the dirt. Nothing against his exes. All beautiful queens. But, um, but we,

oh, I wish you could see our faces, guys. That was the fakes shit I ever heard. I also don't know why I called them queens. That was weird. I thought that was weird. They're the dirt. No. I want to connect something that you said before to this.

And you said that sometimes like when you meet people, you're so concerned with how you're coming off that you forget that they're also concerned with that. Like you were so worried about how you were coming off. Like he also has mental health problems and issues, right? So that's a great point. When we broke up, because he the whole time was like,

you're my person, you're my soulmate. And in my head I was like, but it doesn't feel right. But I didn't say anything. Yeah. And when he was talking about his exes of all the things they did wrong, I was like taking notes in my head like,

okay, so don't get mad at him when he does this and don't bother him when he does that. So next thing you know, I'm like constructing this perfect human base on him. But I think subconsciously he was kind of doing that a little with me. So we were just missing each other. We were two people just missing the intimacy. But then fucking social media and people in your life are like,

oh my God, you guys are adorable. Oh my God, we love you too. And it confuses you. It really confuses you. And you don't know how you actually feel. You mean you thought that he was saying to you all these things to stop you from being like that? Like you think he was manufacturing you?

I think he knows that he, what he, he wanted to, like, be in love with me, and he knows that he wanted me to be his partner. But, like, I didn't feel like it was real, and that's why I was so confused and thought that I was self-sabotaging it. I'm like, we're perfect. He knows we're perfect, but I don't feel right. So if, when you hold it in for all that time, and you change who you are, that's where anxiety comes.

So one day, I literally called him and was like, yeah, I can't do this. I'm done. I can't do this. I haven't eaten in three weeks. and he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, he was blindsided. But what I wish I did is, this is what I like to say, first date, be you.

Like, I like cats and horoscopes. A lot of the time, that's like pepper spray to men. But for a man who is cool with that, and he's being me, then we're past that, we're moving on. He's not allergic to cats, let's go. Don't wait seven months and then be like, by the way, like, this is my weird side and then realize you wasted your time.

I'm 27. I can't fake that shit anymore. and I'm not fake anything for the rest of my life. Yeah. Did you feel like you had faked it up top with him? I think that I was trying to be something that I wasn't. A gardener? Yeah, and girl, I do not garden.

I'm from New York City. I don't even know how to plant something. Well, Ashley's like that too sort of like, and you can explain your own, but I think that you understand what you are and what you want a relationship. Yeah. But it takes time. And what happened to me was cool. It was okay.

We're good. Yeah. It was part of me now knowing what I want and what I need. and probably finding a better person for me because I didn't just settle. And I know myself better now. I know who you're, you dated, and I know he has some trauma, like childhood trauma. And this was my situation with my ex too, just like, these people are just, they're wired a little bit differently. And it's sometimes hard to grasp when you're with somebody that you are like, this is the person.

Nobody's ever made me laugh like this. Yeah. I mean, our banter was incredible. is like there, no one will ever have that again forever. No. In the history of the world. Yes. He was so perfect for the time for me.

And he taught me so much. But because of his trauma, he also was a little ashamed of it and didn't know how to verbalize his needs. And he's also a cancer. So like he would clam up. And I would just feel like I can't help him. But there's, I loved what you said of like this was, this was in my head too. I was like, oh, this is the guy.

Whatever we need to do to make this work. Oh, I chose he was the guy's second date. I was like, I'm going to marry him. And a little bit differently, I was myself straight out of the gate. We were great until we weren't. Like, when you're in that still new phase, you're kind of your best self. And then the closer sometimes we get to people, then the real shit starts to come out. Like, because then you feel like this person's close to you, you have something to lose.

Like, it's all like a fucked up thing. People that are closest to you can hurt you most. In the beginning, your pheromones are popping. It's all, you feel high like a drug. And then six months later, you're like, who are you? Yeah. What is your name and why are you in my house? And I just think, I mean, Rayan and I have talked.

talked about this, like with this person that had kind of a lot of trauma and a lot of things, like, which is not his fault, we were just a mismatch. Like, I had a lack of empathy that I've since, like, gotten way better. I've learned a ton. I went to therapy. That relationship taught me so much. We just weren't ever going to be a match. Like somebody that really has a lot of insecurities and a lot of sensitivities and needs a lot of like the gardening and the care is just not probably going to match with me. And I don't think that he necessarily needs somebody that has the same upbringing and all the same bag of shit, but it's somebody that just is more compassionate and empathetic and wants to be more of a nurture and a caretaker. And I think he found

this great match for him. And, you know, your ex may or may not find somebody for him. He might be like a little more fucked up. But I'm just saying, like, sometimes it's not a match. You can be like, we are perfect. We walk in a room and the room lights up. And nobody makes me laugh like this. And the sex is great. And oh, my God, and this is my soulmate. How could I ever beat this? And it could still be the wrong person. And I think it's like a hard. to swallow. Honestly, I feel like it's a person back to the beginning that makes you feel like you're at home. Yeah. Because sometimes the guys that you're like so nervous to text or you get like so excited to text them. I like to say if you have to think too long about text in the back,

they're not the one. I don't care when in the relationship. I think you could use that as a measurement. I think so too. Like that any solid relationship I've ever been in, I'm sure like Raina can attest to this too. There were no games. It was like constant communication. Like I felt so comfortable. I felt like this person thought it was beautiful. Like I never, I thought this, you should never feel like you need to look a certain way or act a certain way around your person. Like they should think you were like the most beautiful, special person or your relationship is not going to work. I hate to tell you right now. I want to, going back to my tweets, because I like to use them as examples, I said, if you feel like you have to put makeup on when

you FaceTime him, he's not the one sis. It's so true. It's so true. Well, listen, pump the breaks. I put makeup on when I face time my dad or Ashley or anyone. I need to talk to a therapist about that. I'm actually, I've accepted things that are wrong with me. My dad said something to me once, and it's how I live my life. My dad said there's a lot of things wrong with you, but I love you anyways. And that is how I live my life about me, okay? There's a lot of things wrong.

Do you know, it's funny in my last relationship at one point, because I think we both put each other on pedestals, which is so bad. And one point I was like, what annoys you about me? And he goes, you're perfect. And I was like, fuck who this is bad. Right. Because like, I love being the annoying. Like I love being very playful in my relationships. Like I dated a guy who had OCD.

So I would eat popcorn and like it would drop on the couch and he'd be like, don't you dare eat that. And I would just like slowly go to my mouth and just like, don't do it. Don't do it. And that's like so fun to be my annoying playful self. I don't want to feel like I have to have it together all the time. That's a scary place to be. And like my ex certainly did that with me also like similar to Ashley.

I dated somebody that had some pretty bad childhood trauma just from family stuff. And like I think he put me on this pedestal. And like it is, you will never live up to that pedestal. They are just disappointed and mad at the end of the day. You know? And then, like, you also feel like you can't fart ever. Like, if you feel like, like, I don't, obviously don't want to fart in my boyfriend's face, but, like, if I feel like if I fart, it's going to be the end of the world.

I can't live the rest of my life like that. Also, a red flag. Yeah. Once I'm not out of here farting, but, like, if I do, we better laugh about it and then have sex. Exactly. You know? That's Ashley's foreplay. Farming.

It's actually the only way I can come. I fart. We better fuck immediately. If you can't handle me at my fart. You don't deserve me in my fucking. Yes. Tweet that shit. Tweet that shit.

Oh my God. It's fired by Hannah. My favorite tweet to bring it all together is dating. What is the fucked up? Oh, yeah. You have to find someone whose parents fuck them up in a compatible way to how your parents fucked you up. So it doesn't have to be the same level of trauma, but it has to be compatible.

Yeah, that's also screenshot. I agree. But I also think usually people end up with something that's a similar family. structure than them. It's just how it works. But I also think... Because you had like the same love story in your head of what a family is. But I still think that there is, and I've seen it happen where there's somebody that has all that trauma and there's somebody that really doesn't, but they're just a different type of person. And I know that's kind of my ex I talk about. I'm sure that the person he ended up with

is like just really patient, compassionate, nurturing, loving all these things. And I don't know her family structure, but she's just built to handle it. And I was not equipped to handle it. And I was not equipped to handle it. And like we, I just look back and like, God, we were just didn't know how to handle each other. And it's like a shame. And I think that's what you had with your ex and Raina with hers when you're like, man, this is like actually like real like love and it's really special and rare. But like we're not a match. But it's true. Like you're never going to love someone quite like you loved them. Like I'm never going to date a guy and have the kind of relationship I did with him. But also like I might. You might. I want to hope. I'm no, no, but it's

going to be different. It's going to be a different kind of love. You have so many different things of loves me for people. But I think that, like, I think wisdom tells you that, like, your partner's going to have problems, you're going to have problems, support them, you should take care of them. But, like, it has to be a way that you're equipped to take care of. And I don't know that I even knew that I did take care of my partner. Like, he grew up with a mother that was bipolar. She was an alcoholic.

He had a brother who also was born with, like, some real serious mental illness. And, like, he just seemed fine. But then he would go through these bouts of depression where he, like, couldn't get out of bed and, like, couldn't hold a job down. and I just, I didn't know what to do for him. And, like, I wasn't fighting with him or mad at him. It was just like, I didn't know to say, like, maybe we should seek some outside help for you. Maybe we should talk to somebody.

I, like, I didn't know how to accept that, like, I couldn't fix this. And I'm not the one that should be medically on the hook for this. And I'm not doing anything wrong. I just can't help you. And that was really tough for me. I mean, ultimately, like, all of his anxieties and problems were what broke us up. But, like, I'm not mad at it. I might understand it, but, like, I certainly wasn't equipped to deal with it.

And that's okay. But he hadn't dealt with it yet. Well, that's the thing. I think trauma, everyone has trauma. We're not shitting on trauma right now. We're saying, try to deal with your trauma. Like, I had trauma. And he actually exacerbated the stuff that I thought I was over with that it got brought back up.

And that's a good thing. Because I might have repeated the same pattern of going after the wrong guy and ended up with someone who was like, okay for me. So it's like, no matter how fucked up your parents fucked you up, work on ending the pattern of fucked upness. because like I feel like life starts when you realize you have a bad pattern and you stop it. And like my ex taught me that I had a bad pattern and my therapist helped me stop it. And I still have to work in it every day. And reality TV was away for me to actually spread it to the masses a little more and be like, yo, we all get involved with narcissists sometimes. We all get involved in people that can make you feel like shit.

We all get involved in, you know, there's so many fucked up people out there. Or just people that aren't meant for you. Right. Now, I mean, a, I'm older. had experience and we do this podcast. We have learned a lot from that. I can sense kind of like the trauma, the instability, the daddy issues from a mile away. And I'm not touching them. I'm done. I did it. I did it. I'm not doing it. It's not going to work for me unless somebody is really doing the work. And I think they're like stronger for it. Right. And so yes, exactly. Like if you go

to therapy, that's like the new like sexy like turn on. But I just think if women are listening to this and we have a lot of younger listeners and they sense that this guy has. a lot of that and maybe he's taking out on them or he has depression and anxiety and trauma and all these things, PTSD from his childhood, all this things like, if they aren't dealing with it, if they don't think that they need to go to therapy and they don't think they need to deal with it

and they aren't really working on themselves, like it's going to be a rough ride. And it's not your job to fix them. And it's not your job. And that will be emotionally exhausting and that will tarnish who you are sometimes. Well, it's not. You're not going to win. I mean, like, everybody down this podcast knows my story, but like, this guy ultimately left me. We're engaged. He left me the day after our engagement

party. And like, I fucking hate what he did to me. Ooh, I got chills. But I don't hate him for it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I understand. He wasn't a bad guy. We had a beautiful relationship

the entire time we were together. We really did. I don't think he enjoyed what he did to me. I think it was bred from some incredibly serious psychological issues that he needed to deal with. And just because he was telling me he was fine all the time does not mean he was fine. And I'm not a mind reader, so I'm not on the hook for that, you know.

Also, it sounds like you dodged a bullet. Totally. Yeah. Also, he's in therapy now. Yes. He's been for years. For years. I saw him randomly like,

well, whatever, a whole other story. But you didn't know that until recently, right? That he started going to therapy, right? Yeah, I didn't know. And, you know, when we were together, I tried to be the therapist. Also, we were young. I don't know, they needed for,

you needed therapy, but, like, that's true, too. I tried to make sure he was fine, and there's nothing wrong with me for not being a mind reader. He said I'm fine, and I had to believe that he was fine. It's actually so hot when a guy or girl is self-aware of their trauma

and consciously working on it. Like, it's just so hot. Yeah. I'm turned on right now. It really, it is. Like, I mean, we're going to get back together. And not even therapy. Yeah, Rayna, guys, spoiler alert, Raina and her ex are engaged again.

Well, yeah, but I mean, what do you, where do you stand now? Like, would you sign up for another guy that you felt had some of this depression, anxiety, trauma? So to get over my breakup, I, like, purely objectified men. I, like, was like, I'm just dating six to and up. And I just, like, had no emotion. And guys can sense that. And I was just numb to it because my body, like, it's like, it's like, getting in a car crash, you're like, I don't want to get in a car for like a year.

Yeah. So I was just like having fun. And then you realize that it's ultimately not that fun. Like life is about connections. Like the one way to get out of depression is connecting with other people and finding similarities. So I've actually been seeing a guy right now who I literally have done everything in my power to push his ass away. Yes. Because also I, when we first started seeing, he's in my friend group, so that's a red flag. Like that could get complicated. He's like works in my industry, so that could potentially be in my way. He emailed us. Yeah, he emails you guys.

He's such a creep. We actually know every guy that Hannah's ever still quit. He's going to be on the podcast next week. He'll be on the podcast next week. I actually was into him. He's, this is so embarrassing. He's under six feet. Ew.

First, I want to say, I do not short shame. And like, all I want is a guy that's my height. But I don't like short shame. I feel like tall, I'm starting to realize. I feel like tall guys have gotten so much in their life, just because they're tall. Like, you can be, have literally like a broken face and, but you're tall and you will get things in life.

Do you know Nikki Glazer's bit about this? No. So she does a bit and I also just saw her film or special of like you, that's, you need to go for the short guys because they've had to like work for it and be funny. And it's also how you get a hot guy in a discount. So she says you can get a hot face on like a five nine guys. I'm actually, I'm going to see her tonight. And it's such a good bit.

This guy is not a comedian. He's, I call him Mr. Grumpy. He's like grumpy and shy. I like grumpy, shy men turn me on so much because they're the opposite of me. And if I can make them laugh, it like brightens my day. And he thinks that I'm just like hysterical because I'm like out there. He's not annoyed by me. Like I have a guy's call me loud.

And I'm like, bitch, if you think I'm loud, fuck you. Get ready. Sorry that I'm a girl who's taking up space. Go fuck yourself. But I actually have a good move for the single girls out there. Because this guy, I could tell he liked me and I liked him. but there were a lot of reasons why it shouldn't happen. I didn't hook up with a guy for like a month,

which is bad because then you have like a little relapse. And I was like making out with drunk with guys at the bar being wild. And he was there. And I hugged him and I like kissed him on the cheek. And then we started to like kiss. And then he ended up hooking up with a different girl that night. I was making out with some guy who tasted like cigarettes. Learn how to jewel.

Don't jewel because it's bad for you. But like who the fuck still smoke cigarettes? It was a bad night. But anyway, that's how I knew he liked me, because, like, you're not going to kiss me if you hate me or think I'm, you know, a terrible person. So it was his 30th birthday, and he couldn't, I couldn't go because it was my mom's 50th, 55th. And she birthed me from her vagina, so I had to go to hers. So I texted him and I said, let me take you out to dinner for your birthday. So, like, I'm all about, it's okay to make the first move, guys are as, like, nervous as you.

but then see if they follow. So then he responded, why do I feel like this is going to turn to me taking you out to dinner? And I'm like, oh. And I go, you are. Because he knew he's going to pay for it. Yeah. And then, so it's like I basically let him know like, hey,

I'm cool with this if you're cool with this. And then we went to dinner and then like take it slow. But like, then I freaked out and was like, I have a reality TV show going on. And if we get renewed, that means you have to get involved. And it's so complicated and you're too pure to get involved in this. And I don't want to, I don't want this to happen. and I'm too busy and my schedule's crazy.

And he goes, are you done? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, okay, let's go home. And I'm like, you still want to hang out? And he's like, yeah, I just don't really believe you. Ladies, this is the thing. Literally, you can do anything if he wants to be with you. He will do it.

Yeah, absolutely. The right, dude, you shouldn't be trying to make someone like you. If you're trying to make someone like you, it's never going to work. And when you try, you're so not yourself. Like me on a first date trying to be cool, Hannah is a sad, sad, site. Well, we get people to ask us all the time, like, what happens if you guys get get to a serious relationship? Like, do you talk about the guy on the show and things like that? I can't date a guy that would have a problem with that. I got to be honest. And I'm not going to be able

to convince somebody to not feel like that. Well, yeah, because he didn't sign up for this, but he supports it. Like, he watches every episode. He doesn't talk shit about it. He thinks it's so great. He gets into it. He even, like, with my podcast, he'll text me and be like, hey, I like how you did this. Have you ever tried that? But he calls me out of my shit, too. Yes, this is perfect. I love someone who's like, just the right amount of mean. I also love what you said. First of all, step one, skip his birthday, ladies.

But we talked about this, I feel like a little bit with Mark Manson and some other episodes we've had of like, you don't want to straight up like ask a guy out, but put this thing out there that you're into it and then let them take it from there. I really strongly believe that. Like let this guy know you're interested, it's hot, and then see where he takes it. You don't have to be like, hey, I'm going to pick you up

and we're going to go today. You don't need to check in. You don't need to like double check about the plans. Also, we would like pick him up. Right. You're not the, you don't have to be the man here, but like let it. Smack his ass. Pay for dinner with your black card.

Like, just put it out there. I'd love that you did that. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I like approaching guys. I think it's fun. I have the strategy where you go and you talk to the like friend who's less attractive to you first to be comfortable. And then like next thing you know your boys with a friend.

And then that guy, if he wants to talk to you and he's wondering why isn't she talking to me? He will. You don't have to put yourself out there, out there. I have a lot of games. But then today, it's not about winning. It's not about the game. Me and him actually didn't even text all the time. Like, we would go weak without texting, but he'll just like at night, like, after work, be like, hey, let's grab dinner. Because it's not about any of like, how much did he text me? He texts me a paragraph. Do I text a paragraph? Like, but you feel comfortable when you know of anxiety around it. Like, that's the thing. Like, you only get all amped up of like, why isn't he texting when it's the wrong person and

you don't feel comfortable. But when you're young, you have to go through those relationships. I know. It's easy for us in our 30s to be like to say this when like if, I mean,

when we were your age, no, I'm just kidding. But like, it was all, it sucked. It was all anxiety and crazy games and shit like that.

I don't know, it sucks for somebody to tell you that they don't like something about you. I don't know if I've ever talked about this on the show, but I was, I really liked this guy for a long time and I was out with him one night.

And he said to me dating somebody as public of zoo is my worst nightmare. And I was with him at this bar and I left and I was crying on the street and I was just like, I like this person so much and I don't know like what to do and is everybody going to feel like this about me now like forever that I'm just going to like put them on blast

in the show and this guy won't be with me and I was really fucked up about it and the honest truth is like that guy's not my guy and I'm not going to change my whole life just to impress one person. Because there's a guy out there who's going to see what you're doing and be so impressed by it and be like wow, she's my soulmate.

Yeah. I hate to use reality TV as an example, but do you guys watch Vanderpump with Stasi? Oh my God, you need to catch up on your reality. I know. I don't even know how we're friends. Like how do you numb your brain at night? I don't know.

I look at my own Instagram story. Same. Sad too. I always have time for that. Actually, it's more of like the depths of the internet picks a cause every night around 1 am. Like go deep on Twitter. Oh yeah.

Conspiracy theories. Last night I was like, did you see like Axe Body Spray like clapped back about the straight pride parade? And so I just like I lay in bed and like go real deep on the internet and then it's 4 a.m. So I'd probably be better just like watching Vanderpump and putting my phone away, but here we are. I'm obsessed with Sassie's boyfriend.

So Sassie was dating this guy Patrick for years on the show. He actually hated reality TV. He got her to quit the show at one point. She came back. He refused to be on camera. And it was just like a tumultuous relationship. Then she meets this guy, Bo, who's just an angel. I sent you the photo down the other day?

And he's just like, everything she does is the coolest. He's brought out a side to her that's like sweet and cool, but also, weird. If you can be weird and silly, isn't that what life's about? Who wants to have serious conversations all the time? I know. I don't. So Stasi is kind of a cool example of like when you meet the right guy. You don't feel like a bitch for choosing your career. Right. And Rana, that guy too. He's fucked up too. You know, like, some of these guys, like, they put their shit on you. Like, I think it's, God forbid, I'm successful and proud of what I do. And because he's not even successful. He's probably just jealous. Also, guys get jealous.

Sometimes, like, a guy you think, a guy can be very competitive with you. Yes. And competitiveness in friendships and in men is insecurity and not healthy. It's insecurity. And they put it on you. And I just feel like that's a thing you learn as you get older is like, oh, this has nothing to do with me. This is like your shit. Mm-hmm.

But when you're-great, it was his shit. Yeah. Also, if you know me, if you're good friends with me, if you've ever even dated me, you know I don't put you on blast. The fact that that person even thought that about me is a crazy thing. I'm just kidding. What's his Instagram handle? I would never put him on blast. I would never put him on blast.

Jeremy Brown, I would never put you on blast. I was going to say he was never on an episode, but I was like, oh. Wait, I know Jeremy Brown too. From Atlanta. They're probably like, Jeremy from Atlanta. It's not that guy.

It's not him. One time I used a fake name and said like, yeah, whatever has a little dick, like Tom Smith that lives at da-da-da-da-ha. And someone was like, I know him. And I'm like, it was a fake name. It was like a John Doe name. Can't hide anything.

Um, also can we say somebody that you did date that has been on the show? Who? Hannah has dated Dan Soder. Oh, yes. Um, and we think that's why Dewey threw her a little shade when she came in because as you know, Dan is Dewey's dad and Dewey's, wait, he's official, oh my God. He's not, no, he's not officially do his dad. Who's, but he's been inside of Ashley's bedroom with Dewey.

Okay, I thought you said inside of Ashley. I was like, is this how you're going to tell me? Intervention time. He, but he wrote a song for Dewey. He wrote the thank you next for Dawes. and I feel like that's why Dewey knew when you came in and he was like, I'm team Dan, and I'm so sorry. Wow. That's why he wanted to be in the room with that.

If I'd known this, I would have prepared some kind of melody. Also, he probably smells my cat on me. Oh, that's too. Dan loves big dogs. He probably was like, that was my Dan impression. Don't do you. Just like the lowest voice ever. Wait, do you do, do you do?

Oh, my God. He's the king of impressions. It's insane. Barack Obama. Okay, this is my impression of Dan. This is going to be mean, but like, it's not mean, but you have to kind of know him, but he's like, yeah, I'm so tall, just holding him a coffee. I had a long day.

Yeah, I'm tired. Do you want to smoke? Am I high? Am I high? I smoke sometimes. Yeah, I love video games. Wrestling is awesome. Wrestling is so awesome.

I love wrestling. Girls hate that love wrestling, and they hate, girls just hate me. Every girl hates me. I'm funny, though. Do we? Do we? No, come over here, do it. I love dogs.

Get over, do it. I can't do it. I actually haven't heard his voice in a while because it's triggering for me, but that's what he says. Honestly, I can't listen to on a podcast because I know all his stories and I'm like, oh, you're telling that one now. Okay. Heard it. He was there for it. It's about me. He's inspired me to start a

podcast, I think, too, because he's so fucking good at podcasts and we would just sit around and banter. Yeah. And like to see how his mind, his genius comedy mind worked, I think inspired me so much. And I was like, if he could do it, like, I feel like I can pursue my own

thing. And I was in video production. and I like tweeting, Dewey, you don't have to make that sound when I talk. You don't have to make it that obvious that you hate my voice. Guys, Dewey just gave her the finger. I don't know. I didn't even know dogs could do that. He grew it just for you. Oh, no. He's, this is my dad's ex-wife. He's gagging now. He's gagging. Also, I'm very jealous that Dewey has a nicer bed than me. It's honestly gorgeous. It's nice. I think Dan bought it for him. Oh, my God. When Dan came over to record, it was so weird. He had this

big box and he was like, do we? We broke up because Dan connected with dogs better than humans. So that's how we ended up where we are. Take that, Dan. Oh, my God, this is actually therapeutic for me because I've actually never told anyone that I dated him. Oh, are we a lot? Like your parents?

No, I've never said it in any, like, public capacity. Like, even on my podcast, I haven't talked about it. But, like, our breakup was very healthy. We, like, basically had a phone call where we just cried it out and we're both like, yeah I admit this I admit this this wasn't working this wasn't working and then I was like we both need to work on ourselves and we both need time away from each other yeah and you're friends now every three months we get coffee and we laugh at we still have great banter which is difficult for me because every now and then he's like oh no no he's like don't get any ideas honey no and then I was

he was here and we were both like should we fuck it I don't know he's so fuckable but he's so lovable like he's so funny I mean funny whatever sorry Ashley's I don't know if you can love him I don't know if you can love him I don't know his bag of issues but whatever I don't want to say lovable

but it was like nice that like to talk to him but understand like we're not friends like I'm not I can't ever be friends with him but it's nice to check in with someone you've cared about so much

and be like you good and it was good for my closure to be like the first time I saw him I cried the whole time the coffee shop it was terrible yeah but I needed that yeah

and sometimes it's not selfish to be like I need to talk to you and talk some shit out. Sometimes you can, when you go through breakups, obviously you guys have a really healthy breakup, but sometimes it happens. You're super angry. I've dealt with that.

But it's always nice to get to that point where, like, I hope this person's doing well. I cared about them, you know, and it's nice that you guys can even, like, meet up face to face and do that. I don't know. Like, you're cool with your. Coolish.

I think we're not, but we're the same way as you. We're not friends. I also, I've never. We're not going to be friends. I've never had sex with an ex. Ever? I only have sex for sex.

exclusively. Literally, we went to D.C. and I was like, Ashley, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to have sex with my ex. For weeks, I was like, I'm not, I literally was around him for like 25 minutes before he was like, you want to go? Yes. Yes, I do. And I was like, can I come? He's so hot. I've been talking shit on him for like a year. He walked into the room and Ashley's like, I like his vibe. Oh my God. You are the worst friend. I know. No matter how hot he looks, you have to be like, he's terrible. He's not like, he's not like, The ex. He's like, she, Raina never loved him.

He's not a guy that fucked her over because, but he was like the guy that, Raina could fuck him right now and be like, can you leave? I'm over this. Like, they just didn't have, that's not like the ex. You know what I mean? So she had talked shit on this guy for this since the day we met. She's like, oh, he's the worst. You're going to hate him.

Everyone has this. You're like, I'm kind of into it. I feel like everyone has the same kind of exes. You have like the X, which is the one you'll like never really forget and have a special place in your heart. You have the X that, um, ruin you. you. You've the ex that is so fucking annoying and you're

embarrassed to even tell people you dated. You know? Like I dated this one guy because he was a bouncer in college. And he also was a mascot and I thought it was hilarious. I have a mascot fetish. I have a mascot fetish. He was hilarious, but like I can't, he was just, oh my

God. My dad would make fun of me all the time. And then you date the guy who doesn't have a job but like says he does. I don't know. I can go on and on. Everyone's, he says he's starting an app, but he's just jerking off in his mom's basement. Is he an online trainer? That's a guy that I, that's, he's a founder of nothing on his hinge profile, just his

founders. It's a CEO. It's always a CEO. Oh yeah, CEO or a manager. I'm managing my own emotions every day. That's all I'm managing. Yeah. And then, yeah, it's everyone has like, you know, I got out of the finance game,

just starts this app and, you know, I'm really doubling down on it, but dad's money. And if a guy ever says doubling down, just leave. Right. unless you're in Vegas. Unless you're in Vegas. Then you're talking about cards. Yeah. This guy was none of those things.

This guy was like super hot. It doesn't matter how hot a guy is. It doesn't matter. The British guy. So if not to give away stuff, but I dated this British guy on the show. He's so hot. He was 6'6. And the accent got annoying at some point.

He was done. It's like a language barrier. It wasn't even language barrier. But we had, again, he like, I love attention and he loved attention. And he would text me like a hundred times. and he would like want to cuddle and all this. And I just was like, you know what? I need a long time for the ever.

Forever. For the ever. Wait, I think I need to take a little time. He's like how much? You're like all of it. Forever. All the time, infinity. Forever.

Let's set up our next date for never. Is never good for you? Good. Okay, awesome. Let's set up a date for like Wednesday, 20, 27. No, like I'm so over hot guys. I like ugly hot guys. Ugly hot.

It's a thing. What? Ugly, Oh my God, you guys never heard of ugly hot? It's like a kind of guy. It's like skinny fat? It's kind of.

Who's the guy who's ugly hot? Do you know the guy who? I'm like ugly hot. You know, I'm like a six, but my personality's great. Don't do that to yourself. I think it's guys like,

do you know Bohemian Rhapsody? The guy like Rami Malik? He's ugly hot. What? No, he's hot. I feel like he's short. I feel like he's short. Well, see, and again,

I do not short shame. I'm just five, 10. So it's like, I'm not going to be like bigger than you. Yeah. But ugly hot is when you have like, you're not stereotypically hot, but there's something about you like your swag or like your passion for life, how you carry yourself that makes you super hot.

So he's not like the guy you'd notice about talking to, but once he started talking to him, you're like, why are my pants still on? That is all I want. I don't want other girls wanting my man. I don't want that fucking best. I want a guy that I think is the hottest guy in the world and no one else thinks so. Stay away from my man. I don't want you to get naked look 10 times better than me.

No. No. I don't. I don't like six-packs. I think six-packs are fucking vain. You're 30. You're not training for, like, to be a professional athlete. Why do you have a six-pack? I know. Live your life, be normal and let me cuddle with your, like, slightly, like... Dad bod. Dad-bod. I like, defined arms. I don't need jacked, but, like, I can't do, like, skinny-ne-al arms. Yeah, because you want them to be able to carry you just in case of emergency. I need, like, Mateo Lane's arms. But, like, a straight guy. But like straight. Every day I wish my tailway him was straight. He has swag. I love that though. Like I just don't.

I do not need anyone to think my man is hot. They need to think he's funny. That's a must. But like, I don't need to walk into a room and people be like, why is he with her? I want people to be like he must be funny. See, I'm not going to lie. Sometimes dating Dan was exhausting because it's like, we get it. You're fucking hilarious.

I get it. Like, it's every room we walked in. I was like, Jesus. Christ. And then, like, God forbid, I want to make a joke and then there's the issue. Oh, yeah. In terms of funny, I kind of like a guy who I just want them to have a great sense of humor. I want something to happen in a room and I look at him and we have the same reaction to it. You have to know. I don't need him to make the whole room laugh every fucking second. No offense, Dan. No offense to you. Right. That's fair. I just like to, like, to, like, I like to be the funny couple, you know?

Oh, yeah. I like to be in a relationship where, like, we get going and people are like, God, I want to be them. Dan and I killed at weddings. That's what I'm saying. I was saying like the dance routines and weddings. Like you want to be the comedy of dance routines. We killed weddings. It was fun.

Right before we broke up, we went to a wedding. That was fun. People were like, are you guys getting married? And I was like, oh, you have no idea what I have in store for him next week.

Oh my God, I'm being so terrible. Okay. All right. I went in, I was like, I'm not talking about him. And here we are. You're welcome.

It was cathartic. Okay, we want to play this game with you. Fun. Unless you have any closing remarks. Oh, close, to wrap it up, to wrap it up.

We're going to plug everything that you're doing at the end. Yeah, cool. No, I think the point of the matter is is that you're not trying to find

the perfect person, you're trying to find the perfect person for you and it takes knowing yourself and dealing with your own issues to find that. I love that.

Just stay forever. I love you so much. I'm so sorry, so hot in here. We don't know what we're going to do. We cannot run the AC. I know. I already showered.

I'm wearing like a Beyonce shirt. Honestly, we're burning calories. That's fair, but I already showered. I'm going somewhere later. Okay. This game is called Red Light Greenlight, and it's basically this thing happens when you're dating somebody. Is it Red Light full stop? Oh my God. Never again. Yeah, talk to you never. Or Green Light, Who cares? Forge a head. Or you can give a yellow light if you're like, eh, you know. Okay. So we're just going to shoot them off. These are all listener submitted. Yes. We have to play this in six months. We forgot about it. And then we listened to Andrew Collins episode recently and we forgot that we had this game in the.

The rotation. Best episode of all time, except for this one. Except for this. And dance. Let's be honest. No, it was probably a great episode. That Barack Obama impression was unmatched. His voice sounds like Barack anyway.

He does the best impressions of everyone. I know. That's the thing. You don't know if he's perfect for you because I'd be seen down and I'd be like, do this guy. Do that guy. And I just laugh all night. I know.

When you laugh, when a guy makes you laugh like that. Laughing is a fake orgasm. Wow. That's a quote. Now I'm like, it's all making sense. when you hear girls that can't let go of somebody it's because this guy made them laugh so much we hear it all the time like you're like how am i going to find another this not like the orgasms were so good right get a vibrant is it okay so you're gonna so we're gonna lobby's at you

you're gonna tell us red like green light yellow light i guess is an acceptable answer um but i have one I'm excited to start with is it the last one is it the last one no but that's very well but I'm doing that one okay go go um has zero decorations or personal photos in their apartment? Green light, because I'm like that, and people think my apartment looks like a hospital room. Really? Well, it's because...

Yeah, they're terrible... No. It's more like I put my effort into other things, and I always knew I was going to, like, eventually move to my own place, and I was just renting. I just, like, don't care. Why make it your own? Okay. Exactly. Okay. Also, I feel like men... I don't decorate. I'd much rather that than him have, like...

Decor? Decor. Like, live, laugh, love, love on his wall. Oh, my God. God. Okay. I'm seeing if we have any new ones too. Oh my God. This is wild. These are funny because these happen to people. I love this. Girls get ready. Brace yourself. Makes you kiss his dick for good luck almost daily. Like a blowjob or like kiss it goodbye. Is it like kiss it goodbye on the way to work? And could it be like over the pants? Like what? Also I don't like the word makes you. It's like yeah, babe. And you like, takes the top of your head and pushes you down.

Which part of the dick also? You can pull or you're in the shaft? Yeah. And is it with tongue? I mean, honestly, I think it's hilarious. It's hilarious. I think we're so funny. But like, don't in public be like, babe, it's time.

It's time. I need some good luck. I need some good luck. He's about to go do his set. He's like, I need that good luck kiss. Okay. Also, girls don't ever do anything you don't want to do. But I'm just picturing a couple's going off to work and he's like,

give me kiss. I got a big presentation today. I need a good luck kiss. And he just drops his pants. you have to kiss this guy is a clown. This guy is a clown. And also it sounds like one of those things that he tells his friends about, like, bro,

I convinced my chick that it's good luck if she kisses it. I hate that shit. Red light. What if he's like, it's like it's good luck for you? That's what I'm thinking. That's what I interpreted it as, that it was good luck for her to kiss. No, you did.

Yes. Oh, well, that's like guys who convince you that sperm is good for your pores. Right. Yeah. And guys that tell you blue balls like actually hurt. Shut up. Oh my God.

The guys would do that to me all the time. Shut up. All right now, you're next. This one made me actually laugh on again because these things actually happen to people. You asked him what his last meal would be and he says, pussy. Honestly, green. I know. I liked it too.

I think it's funny. Good for you. It's funny. It's clever. And I love a man who loves to give. Okay. He has a chest hat that says family is forever. Oh, God.

Honestly, if it was because he's like really fun and got really fucked up one night and got it, I say green. I just don't, I'm not super turned off by bad tattoos. Yeah, I think he's human. Neck or face. Yeah, necker face is, that's going to be hard to get a new job.

But I also think, yeah, I think it's funny. And it's much better than like some violent, weird religious tattoo or something. Right. Like families forever, that's adorable. Like it says maga. You're like, oh, I don't know. He's like, I got this in 2016. It was a crazy time.

You're like, yeah, it was a fucking crazy time. What? Secret Trump support. Maga Tats in 2019, no. Red flag. Absolutely not. Unless they're being funny. I'm kidding.

No, never. It's ironic. It's hipster. It's ironic. This also made me laugh because it also happened to somebody. You go back to their place and find out that they sleep in a hammock. Nope. Nope.

That is, I'm calling the police. Red light. They have like a camping fetish. Like, why do you sleep in a hammock? I know, at least get a dog bed. You can't, I know, at least get a dog bed. At least, like, you can't afford a four or $500 mattress. Where do you tie a hammock in a house?

Also, how the fuck do you cuddle? Like, how do we sleep together at night? How do you have sex? I have so many questions. No hammocks, no water beds. Get out of here. No. And that's some, yeah, it's like, I don't like camping.

I don't like hammocks. It's just not for me. He'll find the perfect person for him. All right. I have a funny one for you because this also clearly happened to somebody. you find out that they want a themed wedding and in parentheses, Harry Potter Christmas. Nope.

Nope. Okay, Rita, hold on. Was there a comma between Harry Potter and Christmas, or was it Harry Potter Christmas, or was it Harry Potter Christmas? I don't remember. Because I don't know what Harry Potter Christmas is,

but that's a no for me, dog. Does it matter if there's a comma or not Harry Potter? My own curiosity. I want to see Harry Potter Christmas. What did you divide the room by the different houses in Harry Potter? There was like a Gryffindor area of the reception hall. It's all seasonal. You can't sit here, we're Hufflepast.

It's a Christmas theme to do. I like hate theme parties in general. Like Summerhouse, they'd be like, we're doing a theme party. And I'm like, I just want to wear my bathing suit and like jump in the pool and get blackout. But some people go hard on theme parties. I don't want to have to go to Amazon. I don't want to have to like get a look. Yeah, I don't either.

I came here to drink. Yeah, it's one of my deepest darkest secrets. That and I can't ride a bike. Oh, my God. And I don't love theme parties. I know. Look, if it's an athletic guy that like loves Halloween, like, we're not going to date. And he definitely can't do bike marathons.

That'd be brutal. Can you do SoulCycle? A stationary bike, but I don't exercise. But you never do. Those are separate things. If I did, no. You were considering maybe looking into a Peloton. Oh, yeah.

If anybody works for Peloton. Also, I want a Dyson. Should we just put, what do you want? For free. Oh, my God. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I scream.

Okay. She wants Blue Bunny. I want new titties and a Peloton. But also, if I get new titty, I feel like I'll lose weight. Oh, I know. I want to clone my cat. Okay. The kind of thing that can happen?

Oh, my God. But seriously, if anybody from Dyson or has a contact of Dyson, I want this $400 fan because it's going to keep the room cool. We can have the AC on we record. So it's really a work expense. And that is a big chunk of money to spend. And I just want it so bad. Absolutely.

We need it. Also, what are the pretzels that I like? What? Gardettos? No, no, no. The pretzels that like we both always have at home that I eat with hummus. You want, can't you just buy them? Oh, the flat ones?

The flat ones. Yeah. What are they? You can buy those. I can buy a Dyson fan too. They're $1.50. They are. They're $2 in my bodega.

Yeah, but I go through a bag of them a day. Hold on. I'm Googling it because if somebody works for them, I want free ones. This is like real life Santa Claus. You're just like, I want this. And it'll just appear in your mailbox. It happened once. Okay, I was like, this is weird.

Yeah, it happened with Velveeta cheese last year. At Christmas. That is amazing. Well, good for their marketing team. I happen with the whole tournament here. They're called pretzel. They're snack factory pretzel chris. So you guys work for them.

Okay. Red light green light corrects your grammar in front of people. Red light. Nope. Done. Done. Done. First of all, it's fucking patronizing.

He probably has a small dick. Second of all, how bad was it? Unless if people can't understand me, language is about you understand me. And if you knew what I was trying to say, don't worry about my grammar, my fucker. Thank you. Go on Instagram and bother someone else with the you and the yours and leave me the fuck alone. Lose my number. Lose my number.

There is. The mic drop. I have one more, because this girl was like particularly triggered. She submitted like seven of them. Oh, I love that. But one of them was like a combo that she just did a comma. This one's fun, yeah.

Sends you non-asked for dick picks in the morning, comma doesn't have friends. It's very specific. She's like, and brunette. And he's a tourist. Oh, well, now that changes everything. Exactly. I like the guy's, like, sexual and, like,

thinking of me, but, like, dick pics are so aggressive. in the morning. I don't want anything in the morning before 10 a.m. I'll take actual dick. I don't ever want a dick pick. Ever. I take actual dick before 10. Oh, I'll take actual dick if he's not too big. Dick has no hour

for me. It's timeless. Put that on a t-shirt. I don't ever want a dick pick. You guys both know, I got an unsolicited dick pick that last week and it was terrifying. Oh yeah, I heard about that. I'm still upset. You didn't screenshot it. I'm upset. I didn't screenshot it. I'm upset. You didn't screenshot it. Everybody was like, how did it look? And I was like, I don't

remember, I was terrified. And now every time I see him on Instagram, I'm like, I wish I knew what your dick look like. It's all rain his fault. I could have. This one says, and then I actually want to go back to something that you said earlier, because I wanted, I had a comment. This one says answers a phone call and a date and never apologizes. Red. This is the thing. These little things that you don't think are red flags are literally signs from the universe. Like, it's like, you know, him like saying something slightly rude to his mom. You're like, that was nothing. And then fast fast forward 10 years and he's like yelling at you. Like he yelled at his mom and you're like, why I didn't I listen to the red flag.

If a guy's disrespectful a little bit, he'll be disrespectful a lot. Especially early on when they're supposed to be in their best behavior. Like, if you do that stuff early, oh, my God. What you said that I wanted to circle back to? You said that the person you dated would, like, answer the phone and be kind of sure with you. And this is something that I think is a huge thing is how you answer the phone when you talk to your significant other or your friends or your family. Every time I call my mom, she acts like it is the best thing that's ever happened.

And I think about that. Like with Raina, every time I call Raina, she's like really nice and upbeat. and like an ex of mine. I just say whenever I would call him, he would be so cute and happy to hear for me. And then I would be like, I just want to be more like that. You are like that. I try.

Like I don't want to be like, hey, what's up? Like the second that you answer a phone and someone that you care about and you're like, hey, what's up, the tone, they automatically are just like, what did I, are you annoyed to hear from me? And I just think that's such an important thing. Like you said that and it's so resonated with me because I've definitely dated guys that like I call them, figure out what we're doing that night. And they sound annoyed.

and I'm like, now our whole vibe has changed. Oh, yeah. You know? The second you walk in, the energy you get is going to affect the room. And I feel like you don't want to try to be something you're not and be some like uppity person, but it's more just showing that like you treasure that time you're spending on the phone with them. Yeah, you don't have to. You don't have to change your affect and be like, but it's more like, hey, how are you?

A little smile, a little smile. Be yourself always. But like the energy on an initial like, yeah, you walk into someone's apartment or you meet them somewhere or they answer the phone. It's like I just, I try to be more aware of that with myself because I have a tendency. Like if I'm in a bad mood, it's going to come off to someone else. And then I have to like apologize later. I'm like, sorry. I'm just trying to be better about like, because it sets a tone.

But it's also why you two are so good together because you mesh well. You're a little yin-yang. It's because Ashley works on herself. I don't work on anything. You worked on your tan earlier today. I work on a tan every day. I'm going to look like an old wrinkly raven at the end of the summer. We were.

we were in Seattle. We sat outside for four hours. I woke up and put 50 on, obviously. Raina just sits there in the sun, no sunglasses, and then got mad at me because I didn't tell her. I'm like, bitch, what did you think the sun was doing? We go to dinner and she has beat, face red. She's like, I'm so embarrassed.

I'm like, what did you think was happening out there? She goes, you put sunscreen on. I'm like, I'm impressed because I can't do anything for four hours. Like, I don't want to do anything for that extended period of time. We just weren't going to have brunch and then do other stuff. And we were sitting in these outer on deck chairs in the dock of Seattle. at this place westward. And, like, it was just beautiful.

There's planes. There's, like, water planes flying above us and all these boats and paddleboards. And we were just like, why are we leaving? And you fell asleep? No, I just sat there. Oh, so you were fully conscious. During the burn. We could not be more different.

We just, also, our faces are different. Like, you somehow don't have this skin damage that I do. But I'm like, tons of other things wrong with me. 50 sunglasses hat, turtleneck. And Rana is like, I'm like, bitch, do you need sunglasses? I can't even be out in any sun without sunglasses. my eyes, like, are, like, sensitive. And you're just like, no, I don't need it.

Full sun. Yeah, but I have, like, big dick energy about my skin. Oh, hell yeah. And then, like, Tuesday night, I was going to see this guy that I like, and I was so beat red from the sun. I had to stop at CVS on my way to see him to buy a $4 concealer to put it on my face. I just love that you were like, why didn't you tell me?

I was like, you couldn't feel it. You couldn't feel the sun. But I love when people like, people are different than them. Like, I think that's what the relationship is too, because, like, I'm fucking sick of myself. Like, I don't want to be with someone who's just, like, me with my issue. I always say I'm fascinated by shy people because they don't like just say anything that comes into their head all the time. And I'm like, what is that life? What is that like to not have to say something?

Yeah, like I love being around people like that because I'm like, you are incredible to me. People are like, you guys interrupt everybody all the time. I'm like, I know, because my thoughts are so important to me. It's a problem. Also, just whatever. This is how conversations work with people that have stuff to say. Shut up. You guys interrupt all the time. We're just talking. I'm from New York. Have you ever talk? This is a conversation with women. If I don't talk over you, I don't like you. I'm also smart and I know what you're going to say at the end of the sentence.

That's true. So like, I'm just skipping ahead. Skipping ahead. Oh, my God. If we didn't interrupt this, it would be three hours long. You're welcome. What if I had to wait three seconds before answering? People would think I was like slow.

Are you allowed to say slow nowadays? Yeah, but we said special last week or two weeks ago. Marie Foster told me I was special. And I rode the VIP bus to school. The short bus is true. And she goes, oh, you thought you were a special year, VIP. Oh, no, people who are creative of special brains, it's true.

All right, should we call it? I'm sweating. I got to get the. Tits wet. All right, well, listen, guys, if you work for any of the companies we mentioned or a plastic surgeon, because I'm trying to get new titties, this summer, please hit us up. There's a deadline. Preferably in a month.

I just, I feel like August. This summer, too. I don't need a fan in September. Dyson. Where are you at? August is a good time for new tities for May. I'm going to need that fan this week, Dyson, though. August, as soon as we get back from Minneapolis, new titties.

August. It's happening. Okay. Okay. Anyways, you have been an absolute pleasure like we knew you would be. Thank you, ladies. Can you plug your things and say, what your Instagram, how to spell your Instagram, your podcast, where to find you?

Awesome. So my name is Hannah Burner. My podcast is at Being Burn. So that's B-E-I-N-G-B-E-R-N-Z. It's complicated. Whatever. I made it like a way to want to go. Thank you, honey.

And then follow, subscribe. I'm like, follow. Subscribe to my podcast, Burning in Hell. It's a comedy mental health podcast. You guys would like it. And yeah, watch Summer House. It's pretty fun. Yeah.

Binge it. Yeah. Because it's over now. It's over now, but it just ended. So it's still fresh. Still fresh. You still look the same. You haven't gotten like a new face.

No, not yet. You don't have that season two face. I don't have my season two face yet. You're beautiful. Don't do it. I like that they end it just in time to start filming season two. So you guys are all freshly pissed at each other. Oh, yeah.

You know, from watching the season. I'm like, I forgot she said that shit about me. Exactly. They play the tape. Like, run the tape. Yeah, run the tape. You'll remember real quick. I forgot I was mad at her.

But yeah, if we start filming again, we haven't heard for sure, but it would be this month. Oh, also stay tuned if we do Summer House. Ashley and Rainer are going to come to the party, so they might be in the background. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. Unless you fuck or fight a cast member. Watch me.

Watch me in the background just like probably roasting Jordan. Wait, who would you guys hook up with on Summer House? Oh, good question. I don't know. Who would I ran out? You? No, not me. Other than you.

I feel like you would just rip Carl apart. Yeah. You would. But like he's physically like, I could see him making out with him drunk. Okay. Does he have a girlfriend? No. God, no.

So yeah, catch me in the back of a summer house party. Just yelling at somebody, I'm sure. He's too tall for me, but he's from Pittsburgh like me. I'd fuck him. I mean, let's be honest. If you hugged him, your head would just like hit his dick. Oh, he's tall? Oh, I'm in.

He's 6-5. Oh, done. Yeah, perfect height. Guys also subscribe, right review with us. Girls Got Eat Podcast.com, stupid live shows.com, Minneapolis is there. Get your tickets. Those are going to go quick. Follow us on Instagram, Girls' Got You Podcast, Twitter, all the things.

That's it, guys. Have a good week. Bye. Bye.