Girls Gotta Eat - Do You Know WHY You're Dating? feat. Case Kenny

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

Get ready to ask yourself some questions, including "Are you bringing your milkshake to the yard?" We have author, mindfulness pro, and note-writing guru Case Kenny join us to discuss why being single is your superpower, mindfulness and dating with intention, decoding mixed signals, the importance of being yourself, why looks matter less than you think, shifting your mindset after rejection, and more. We're also sharing our listeners' "superpowers" (spoiler alert: lots of WAPs), Ashley recaps a recent date, and Rayna pops off about the worst movie she's ever seen. We're so thankful for our incredible audience, and hope you enjoy! Follow Case on Instagram @Case.Kenny and check out his website. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for show dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners this week: Dame: Get 15% off your first order at dameproducts.com/gge. Tushy: Go to hellotushy.com/gge to get 15% off bidets + free shipping. Raycon: For a limited time, get up to 20% off your order at buyraycon.com/gge. Buffy: For $20 off your Buffy comforter, visit buffy.co and enter code GGE at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you do anything besides workout and talk about feelings? No, that's it. That's all you need to know. I don't take offense to that. It's true. No, it's true. It's great. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta eat.

Welcome back. Happy Thanksgiving week. Happy Thanksgiving. It's my favorite holiday. Oh, yeah, beige carbs. I said that we wouldn't. That is my vibe. Also soup.

My mom makes a soup course every year. What are you out of your doing? Oh, so you were eating all day. You have bread this way. This is your lineage. Yeah, I was born this way. We've been eating appetizers all day long. We've been drinking all day long.

I don't need a soup course. We're going to have 75 side dishes. Raina, now you're complaining about a soup. What are you? You need to get your shit together. Because last week you popped off about Campbell's, I don't know, arguably the leader in soup. No, this week. Panera is the leader in soup.

You need to get it together and figure out your soup truth. Because if people are going to follow you as the Messiah of Soup, then now they don't know where they stand. No, they know exactly where they stand. Okay, don't be out of tagging me in chicken noodle soup from Campbell's, okay? Be like the girl that tagged me in homemade chicken noodle soup with a blunt sitting next to. Raina.

Be like that girl. I haven't said the scene. First of all, I told you I refused to record after dark. Why are we recording after dark now? Bitch, it's dark at 4 o'clock. I didn't choose this. I didn't start daylight savings time. Why are we, we couldn't finish this.

I'm going to wrap this an hour ago, but what we have to do. Okay. What had happened was, you guys, hear us out. Ivy Park drip two dropped at 5 p.m. And I had signed up for the emails. I knew, I knew it was today, but I kind of forgotten because we recorded with our guest right before this, who was great. He's coming in hot soon.

Case, literally hot. Case Kenny. But I got the email 30 minutes ago. It was like, oh my God. Fuck, I totally forgot. So what you do, if you guys haven't ever done this, I don't really roll like this. It's too stressful for me.

I'm not a person that waits for like tickets and shoes and stuff like that to drop. Like I just don't really live like that. No shade. But I was like, I want this. If you follow Ivy Park, like the first drip she put out a week or two ago were like really colorful stuff, really cute. I didn't get any of it. I just missed the boat. I was like on my way to like this workout when it dropped.

And by the end of the night, I couldn't even get like a hat. this was like all black and gold, this collection. I'm obsessed. We've all been looking at it if you follow Beyonce for like a week or two now. And it dropped at 5 p.m. I got the email and I was like, oh my God. So you have to go in and you add a bunch of stuff to your cart and then you set up a pet, you set up all your credit card information in advance. So it's like literally one click. So I'm sitting there waiting. I have everything in my cart a lot. I'm not going to say I've really, I want, I went off. Yeah. And that I'm just waiting and it's counting down. It's really, it's really. It's really. intense. Like it's super climactic and it's counting down and it's like 30 seconds, 30 seconds,

10 seconds. And then you can hit pay now. And then you just have to sit there and then it buffers and you're like, because if stuff already sold out, you won't get it. And it'll be buffering and you think you got it and you won't get it. It happened to me with the first collection. I had this hat. I could get one hat. I had it in my cart. I paid. I split in my payment information. And then it came back and was like, we didn't get the hat. Someone else got the hat. Like it's so stressful. And so I put 10 items in my car. I was like, checking sizing blogs. Like I was like, because you can't take it back or you can't send it back or return it.

So I was just like, I hope all this fits. And then I actually got it all. I'm really happy if you was happy I was able to share this moment with you. Yeah. Also, you don't really know this, but I made a bunch of business decisions while this was happening over the 30 minute period. I just kept asking you things were okay and you didn't really listen or pay attention. So now you'll see.

Guys, I don't know what's going on with the business. So if something goes wrong, Raina did it while I was shopping. Mostly we were just redesigning the Instagram. page. Yeah, yeah. So that's what's happening. I'm happy for you. Thank you for your support.

And I'm so excited for all my stuff to arrive soon. All right. Well, listen, guys, you can't get that, but you can't get our merch. Let's talk about our merch. As holidays are approaching, I just want to give you guys a reminder on some of the stuff, on deadlines, on the merch in general. It's so sick. It's beautiful.

You guys have been buying it like crazy, tagging us like crazy. We're very excited about it. Just reminder, all sales are final. We print everything to order. So just keep that mind. We have great sizing guides. Ashley spends a lot of time writing descriptions. They're amazing.

It's very important. As you guys know, the fit, the feel of everything. So just keep that mind unless you get a defective product. All the wrong thing or something. Of course. People look out on Instagram. Black Friday's coming up. We may or may not do a sale.

Girls got a podcast. Raina dot Greenberg. Ash has. And then one thing that we have not done before, but we are offering gift cards now. So if you guys want to offer gift cards to people, if you don't know what size your sister or your girlfriend wears, or your niece, whatever, tons of people to buy this store.

You can get those and those are not size dependent and they're so cute. We designed them. We designed them. We designed them. She's our merch. She's our merch expert. March manager. Yes. And while we're talking about gifts and holidays, we have our virtual holiday live show on December 13th. That is a Sunday. It starts at 9 p.m. Eastern Time. So whatever time that is in your time zone. And we are so excited. We are planning like the best show we can possibly give you guys on your screen. and you can watch it. You know, obviously you can watch it on your phone, your computer, your iPad and then mirror it to your TV. Have like a little, you know, obviously safe, COVID safe little party gathering with your household, make your sharkoo tree, your holiday cookies, get your drinks ready. We're going to have so much fun. I'm so excited about this show.

We can't wait. We wish it was in person, but this is the next best thing. We are amped. I'm going to wear my gown. Oh, yeah. Gounds on gowns. So GirlsGotty Podcast.com. Click on live shows and you'll see the tickets there.

A couple of people ask some questions. can we like transfer the tickets? It's one code per person that purchases. And then you can watch it for at least 48 hours afterwards. So you still have to buy the show before it starts, but you can watch it if you are working or you're in, it's 2 a.m. where you live, like whatever it is. You know, especially our European listeners. I mean, some of them have woken up and watched this in the middle of the night or people in Australia watch it first thing in the morning. But we want you guys have a nice view and experience. So we really want you to be in there while we're doing it live and be able to experience it live with us. But if you're not able to do that, you can buy that ticket.

It's an access code. It will work up to 48 hours after, potentially longer, but that's what we want to guarantee at this moment. So keep that in mind. You can watch it the 14th. You can watch at the 15th and have your viewing experience. So a lot of questions on that. Because we have so many listeners in like the UK that are like, oh, this is 4 a.m. my time, like or whatever time it is. You know what I mean? So wake up early. Good news for you. Treat it like the royal wedding. Like wake up in the middle of the night for and watch it. Just pretend the word Kate Middleton. I'll be Pippa.

Remember her ass? Pippa. I saw the other day. Remember when people just randomly like went crazy over her totally normal ass? It's kind of crazy to think back. But we had less in the news cycle. You know? New cycle was different.

Nothing in the news cycle. What did we even do? They were like, oh, Kate Middleton's sister is a nice butt. She's got a trend. There was no pandemic. There was no president refusing to concede. They were like, a woman with a butt. Do you want to talk about Thanksgiving?

Okay. Do you want to say you're thankful for? Yeah. I mean, I feel like this year, if nothing else, has forced us to be thankful for the very little things, you know? Like, even just like phone calls with family, Zoom calls, in interaction with the people that listen to the show and things like that. I think maybe you have, I don't know a few more specific things,

but in general for me, like this year, it's just forced me to like be really thankful. Like every time I see a friend, every time I get to socialize and have these like little moments with people, I mean, for better, for worse. You know, I mean, obviously things are pretty shitty, but it has forced me to have more private insular relationships with people. And I like that. You know, I think I deepened my relationships and we've figured out how to support each other.

And I'm thankful that you and I have this business and this audience. And I love that people listen to the show. And I'm, you know, I'm proud to still have it. I love you and I'm thankful for you. I'm a family. And, you know, this Thanksgiving will be a little different for me. Last year, my father was hospitalized. I had to rush down to Dallas.

Right. Yeah. And, you know, it was a different type of Thanksgiving. This year, I'm actually not positive where I'll be next week. So we'll let you know. But I don't know, it makes me thankful for little things and for big things like this audience. Yeah, I'm super thankful. And we know so many people have experienced loss and trauma this year and they've lost their jobs and everything, and we feel for anyone that's experienced anything like that,

obviously. So I think being thankful for having those things, for having health and family that's healthy and a job still, you know, and just those things are just, you know, first and foremost and Dewey. So another, and we're going to have another holiday season with Dewey. Don't worry about it. And so you obviously, in our business and our audience is so wonderful. I feel closer to them than ever, you know, during like the election, I was like, messaging with so many people and I just feel really connected, even though we haven't been able to do as much live shows and things like that. And I just, I feel connected to our audience. I'm so grateful for all you guys. Most of you still DM me like, I'm unfollowing you. It's like,

just go. Lose my number. So I'm not thankful for you. But yeah, and I just, this was a really, I feel like at least my experience was this year, and we'll do this at the end of the year too, was just strengthening my relationship with my family. I lived. with my parents and I saw my brother so much more than normal. So I'm just feeling closer to family. You and I, I mean, you and I are locked in for life at this point. Obviously, that's no secret. But like this year, what we've gone through. Are we doing the end of the year episode now? I don't know what's going on. Well, let's just save it. Am I going to cry? I am. I feel really proud of what we did. I feel thankful. I think, you know, feel thankful for the presidency, for the end of the Trump presidency.

Obviously, that's no secret. Again, this isn't a political episode. But, very thankful that that played out. And I know so many people feel the same, obviously, special people that felt marginalized and attacked by the president. And so that was a great thing that happened. So I'm feeling thankful. I'm feeling hopeful with hopefully people just stay safe and engage in low-risk activities. Hopefully we have a vaccine on the way.

So hopeful, angry sometimes, people just being totally irresponsible, but hopeful nonetheless and thankful. Yeah, we hope you guys all have us a healthy and wonderful Thanksgiving. We asked you last year, please again tag us in your food photos. You want you, you want tags too or just May? You can tag me. You know what she doesn't want it, guys? Just give it to me.

I love seeing your beige carbs. I love your Thanksgiving plates. It brings me so much. I was alone. I didn't have a Thanksgiving dinner last year. We went to a steakhouse, but it wasn't Thanksgiving. I don't believe in eating restaurants for Thanksgiving. So I didn't have it.

So I got to share it in all of your beige carbs. plates, which is my dream. You can keep tag me in your soup stuff too. Oh, my God. And I say it all the time. You guys have been messaging me and I try my best to respond when I can. And email us and things like that as just like people that are dealing with family members that have these different views than them and you're going home for the holidays maybe

or maybe you're not. You know, again, let's be as safe as we can. Like things are getting worse. Pandemic-wise, like we just want to like minimize the spread while we can and just keep it to small gatherings, but I feel for you that are going to see family and you're stressed and you're anxious about those tough conversations or getting triggered and just getting angry. And I'm just thinking about you. I don't know what else much to say.

We've talked about it on a few episodes of like how to address those things. But I'm thinking about you. I'm sending you strength and love and light. So if you need to like go pop off and vent in your old childhood bedroom during the holidays, then tag me in that shit. I'm down for those. All right. I'm here for you.

You're of my thoughts, all of you that have to deal with that. I'm more vapid than actually. So just tag me in your food for those. You know what's your page carbs? I want to see you venting about your terrible family members. We're always with you. Okay. So since we're all going to be at home, I'm going to give you a recommend.

So I watched something recently this weekend. I'm going to do a review. Okay. I watched two things this weekend, actually. So I had a whole Charlie Kaufman weekend. I watched Being John Malkovich, which is from 1990. I think. Okay, go off with the 1999 movie reviews.

Charlie Kaufman is this really wild, like existential film creator. I want to see director. I don't know. He's a director or producer, whatever. He also wrote Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So it's these really like out-thor concepts with really crazy characters.

And he did a new movie that I watched this weekend. By the way, Bing John Malco, which is so weird and quirky. I think everybody should watch it. It's very interesting. Okay. He has a new movie called I'm Thinking of Ending Things. On Netflix, it is a, it's built as like a psychological thriller slash horror movie.

I don't like horror movies, but I like these psychological thrillers. Sort of along the lines of like Shutter Island is what I was thinking. Get Out. Get out. I'm thinking of ending things is the worst movie I have ever seen and it's not even close. Wait, what?

The title is so ironic because the entire time, I was watching it. I was like, I am legitimately thinking about ending things. I think you guys should watch it just so you can see how fucking bad it is. What is so bad? It's one of those movies that it ends and you're like, I have to go read 13 articles to understand what the fuck I just saw. It is such pretentious nonsense. It's unbelievable. And I went online and like, what do people think about this movie? And I was reading critical reviews versus like audience reviews. Critics. are like trying to be all like hyper woke

with these like cerebral, hyper intellectual, talking about like themes that they, it's so pretentious. The first hour is like this like long drawn out like kind of like horror movie with like symbolism and you're like it's all going to come together. Like everything is going to like stitch itself together in the end.

Nothing ever happens. It's the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life and I'm fucking mad. I'm mad that I wasted the time of my life. So I'm just going to read you some. audience reviews. Okay. First of all, they interviewed Charlie Kaufman, who created the movie. Just so they're like, because I was like, what did the, I don't want to slam someone else's art, you know? Right, right, right. I don't want to like be out here and be like, this guy is terrible.

So like, I was like, you know, what does he think of the movie? So there's a vulture article. Charlie Kaufman is not a fan of solving movies for his audience. He's quoted as saying, I'm not really big on explaining what things are. I let people have their experiences. I really do support anybody's interpretation. No, this is not an abstract painting. I need you to stitch this up and give me an answer. Okay, and so do the people. People wrote my first review ever because I felt like it was my civic duty to lower the rating on this. I'm considering suing this director for the precious minutes of my life that are wasted. I will never be as young as I was before watching this movie. Oh my God. I had to Google it to understand what the fuck just happened and now I know it makes

even less sense than I originally thought it did. Maybe you have to be high for this to make sense. What a spectacular waste of two plus hours. I literally feel like an interdimensional time thief robbed me of the precious time of my life. I will literally never get back. So why didn't you just turn it off? Is it like one of those things you have to see it through? I have to see everything through. I like rarely like, oh, I turn movies off all the time.

I know you do. We're very different. Like I'll stop reading a book. I don't fucking like this anymore. The first hour you're like, I don't want to give any, like terrible spoilers away. Like, I mean, I guess you guys could fast forward a couple of minutes, but I'm not really going to go away. The first hour, there's, like, so many things happening.

And you're constantly picking up all these clues. And you're like, they're going to stitch this together at some point. There's all this, like, wild shit happening and all this symbolism. And it's narrated by this, like, really sad girl who keeps repeatedly saying, I'm thinking of anything. And then, like, it spirals into this unbelievably pretentious cerebral nonsense where they're, they're referencing all of these things that, like, no one really knows about. There's a scene from Oklahoma. they do the John Nash speech from a beautiful mind.

There's a cartoon pig. There's all these weird actors doing dances and getting married and murdering each other. It spirals into the crazy. I thought I was hallucinating. It was so crazy. Yeah. Nothing. It's just they never stitch any of it up.

If any of you watch this and can understand this or God, God forbid, like it, please explain to me how. I don't think you're supposed to understand it. It sounds like the director was just like, fuck it. Let's just like take everything out of my imagination and throw it into this movie. and I actually don't care if you like it. That's pretty much how it was. You already here first.

It's the worst movie I've ever seen, and it's not even close. Well, if you're looking for a great movie to palate cleanse from that one, I do recommend Home Alone. We're celebrating its 30-year anniversary. Just last week, you guys were tagging me and memes. Obviously, tag me.

Don't DM me. But yeah, Home Alone, it's that season. And people were sending me this article, too. You know, Donald Trump is in Home Alone, too, because they filmed at the plaza. or whatever and he maybe owns the plaza or he did or he did on the okay and he uh his thing is that he anytime people film there he made them right in a part for him so he forced his way

into the movie so the the producer director whoever has come out and said that like no we didn't want donald trump to make a cameo he has to be in every movie if they film at his property of course he does anyway just had to share that tidbit so um anyway holy shit but then because he was because he wasn't who he became people liked the cameo. So when they said when we showed it to test audiences, people loved it. But I just thought that was interesting, little fun tidbit. Love Home Alone and Love Home Alone too. And I think it's one of the, I don't know, I still prefer the first one. It's one of the rare things where the sequel was just as good. It wasn't a flop because sequels don't get me started. If people weren't listening to this,

you guys don't understand how much she loves this movie. If you guys are not a long time listener, last year we were in Chicago and you got up by yourself and went to the house alone. Oh my God. And someone I think must have just listened recently. We love when you guys hear something that we say on an old episode and references an even older Instagram photo and you guys go back and find it. So, yes, we were in Chicago last year for our holiday shows and I wanted to go see the house and I had an Uber driver. I obviously took an Uber there and you didn't want to go, but it was fine.

You just were like, I'm not getting up and doing that. And I had the Uber driver take all my pictures. That's your mind. I credited him in the Instagram cash and I was like credit goes to Adda Duncan from Uber. And it was, we had this great day. He nailed the shot. And then the other thing, if you're into Home Alone, I recommend is Netflix's show that... The movies that made us?

Yes. The movies that made us. Yes. Home Alone's the number, my favorite one. They also do dirty dancing. So if you haven't seen that, I do recommend that. Should I talk about my date? Okay.

So I went on this date and it was super hyped if you followed me on Instagram because I was just like showing screenshots of us like bantering. This guy was so funny. I went out with him last. week a week ago at this point, the vibe was not there. Okay. He looked exactly. He was six, six, just like I said, he looked like his pictures. His energy, we didn't vibe. I just don't want to say anything else. This is a really nice person. So I'm just like, I don't want to drag this person, slam this person. We were not a match. Not everybody is for everybody. We were not a match.

And I knew we were in a match very early on. And obviously, I'm like, well, we're here. So like, we're going on a date and we went, we sat outside, we went to the standard and, um, I didn't tell you this. You, you and I interview people for a living. I can make the best of any situation. As long as someone's not being rude or condescending or, you know, racist or something crazy. Like, I can sit through a couple drinks with them. Like I, I take it as a challenge. We have a mantra and it comes from my best guy friend Rob. We've talked about it, the three of us, like no bad dates, you know, like get something out of every day. Like everybody has. Everybody has, has a story to tell. Everybody has something you can learn from them. Like people have jobs and they

have life stories and it's like just take what you can. Again, unless someone's being rude and just like you can't stand their energy. Yeah. So I'm always like, what can I learn about this person and take away from this night? You know, I'm here. Like he took the path train here. Like we're here. I'm not just going to like dip after one drink. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. And I agree with you. Just because you don't want to date somebody doesn't be their garbage person. So, right now I'm not kidding you. It got to the point where we were talking about our favorite candles. This is a perspective. I like candles like more than your average person.

I can tell you every candle brand. I'm obsessed with smells and candles. Even I could only get two minutes of conversation out of that. We're talking about our favorite candles and I was like, what's your favorite? What's from the hotel Bella Grace and Charleston? Like I need to call them and see if whatever. Because you can't order it online.

So then he said something about carving pumpkins and having like candles next to it. Again, I can't this, if you were to watch me on this date, you would be like, that is not the Ashley Hustle Tine. I know, you know what I mean? Because I'm just like, we weren't vibing. So I was just kind of having to like get it up and kind of interview this guy to kind of keep the conversation going. And he said, I did carve pumpkins. And I go, oh my God, can I see a picture? Like, can I see a picture of the pumpkin you carved?

Why do I? I don't care. I don't care. I was so bored. I asked him a question outside of thinking about his life. I asked, can I see a picture of a pumpkin you carved? No, I don't care. I mean, I don't know.

Was it like a dope pumpkin? So it's not a dog. Like I, you know, I'd of course be like, can I see pictures of your dog or whatever? Or your like classic car. But I didn't care. But I was just like, well, let's do something else we can buy time with. So he shows me a picture. And there's two pumpkins.

One was like, clearly a girl had done it. It was like a cat or some shit. It was like his scary jackalander next to this like kitty cat pumpkin. And I was like, whose pumpkin was this? He goes, no one is more Sherlock Holmes than ask me. And then who carved his pumpkin? And he said, this girl I was dating. I was like, over Halloween, it's November 6th or whatever.

No, and I don't care. Because I'm like, this guy could have a girlfriend for all I care at this point. Like, I'm not into him like that. So I'm just like, oh, juicy relationship. Let's get into it. I love when you finally realize you're not going to fuck a person. You can just be yourself. What a dream.

Yes. Thank you. Go off. And so he was like, this girl I was dating at the time. It got kind of awkward. I was like, oh, I don't care. I don't care if you have a girlfriend.

I said that. I couldn't help myself. You said, I don't care if you have a girlfriend. And then I was like, no, I mean, I would care because that's not cool, but I don't care because I'm not going to date you. I don't care because I'm a piece of shit. I kind of blurted it out. And I was like, God, can I, can I date myself out of this hole?

And I was like, oh, no, I mean, I'm just like, this is our first date. Who cares? And he was like, yeah, I was dating this girl. I was like, what happened? Like, you know me, I just die for people's relationship. Once I decide I'm not going to date you, I don't care. It's amazing. We built a career on breakups.

Like, it's my brand. So I'm like, oh, what happened? And he was just like, oh, she kind of like, I think he was looking at me. Like, are you kidding me? Were you want to, okay. And it washed over him that he wasn't getting fucked. You know? That's like when you know, you know, how he knew I wasn't into him.

It's like, this is how. This is how he knew you weren't into him. He was like, yeah, she just kind of like, it was someone I had been dating for a little bit. and she wanted something more serious and I didn't. And be more original guy. Then he said something else about another thing in the conversation that like I just couldn't help myself.

I started like psychoanalyzing him. I'm like, so do you feel like you have like walls up? Like why can't you really get close to people? I was like full on therapy session because that's the shit I like to talk about. And I'm here. I ordered another fucking cocktail. You came from New Jersey.

Let's talk about your problems. I mean, he texted me the next day, but I think we both know what we're not going to date. You know, I think I think that the vibe was there. Like, I think he was just texting to be polite, but I'm not going to see him again. But really, really nice guy. And it's always nice when someone shows up and you realize you, like, weren't catfish. They do look like their photos.

And then I met a girl, like, a girl's got to eat listener, like in, like coming out of the bathroom at the standard. And love this bitch. Like, I was like, can we be friends? She did, we DM'd a little bit, but I'm like, no, I actually do want to be friends. She's like one of our older listeners. She's in her 40s. She was there with this beautiful man who she did tell me they kind of fuck that night. You texted me later and you go,

I'm not going to DNA, but I got a friend out of it. And I would go, oh my God, Ashley, that's so sweet. Are you going to be friends with him? You're like, oh, no, no, no, no. I met our listener. Yes. I was like, that is so sweet. What an amazing thing to say.

I got a good friend out of it. No, she was my listener. I met this girl kind of walking. We like met, you know, I was going to the bathroom. She was coming out of the bathroom, whatever. And she's like, oh, my God, Ashley. She was like, I loved the episode of not living with somebody. Like, you really get me, you know, whatever.

And so when my day went to the bathroom, and of course I whip out my phone. I'm texting you, whatever. I hear Ashley. I hear this girl go, Ashley. And I was like, what the fuck? And I turned around. And there she is with her hot man just wave in. She was like, what's up? And I was like, what's going on with? I said, what's going on with you two? Is this a date? No. With her and her, this guy. No. Was her man gone? He was sitting right there. You were like, what's, what's the story? I felt, you were like, this day, what's that about? These are adults, like, I'm not going to make it awkward. I was like, what's going on here? Is this a date? And then she was like, oh my gosh, we've been friends, but then we fucked, but then we dated, but then we this, this, and we this, that.

And I was like, you look like, you're like, this, a beautiful couple from a movie. Like, she looked like Sondra O. He was, I don't even know. He was beautiful. I was like, girl, what happened last night? Like, we are, like, friends now. You put her on blast in front of her man. I love, like, a woman that she's like, yeah, let's talk about it.

We'll talk about it right in front of space. You know, I'm kind of intuitive and I could feel there was an energy. He was like, yeah, you could read the room. They were going to open up whatever was going on. You could read the room. You and I aren't like some social deviants that are just like out here ruining people's lives. Yeah, I could tell there was some energy between them. This wasn't the first date.

I wasn't making it awkward. Like she was so fucking cool. You know, like I was just like, can I come sit over there? We're not going to date, but I made a friend. So that's, you were so funny. You go, oh my God, you're going to be friends with them. I was like, no, no, a girl in the bathroom. I thought it was so sweet.

I was like, oh, we're not going to throw it. We're not throwing people away now. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, our listener. Well, our listeners are cooler than everybody. So that's my date story. Well, I'm glad that you went. I think that it's good to have a good attitude about it. I think a lot of people walk away from dates like this really discouraged.

And it's just, it's such a bummer because, you know, especially like you thought the banter was great. I know. And I think that you have like a really great attitude about it. Because it can be really disappointing. when you build a person up, the banter is great. They're cute. They're good height.

You're excited. And then it's just like, you're like, oh, I'm walking home alone. Yeah, but at least I'm not taking the path home, you know? Like, worse for him. Yeah, like that guy that I dished. I got to walk home in my neighborhood. Right, like that guy that I dished on the date last year because he like really made me feel uncomfortable.

And I lived across the street. It was great. Right. Just walking home. He had to go back to Queens or wherever it was he was from. But yeah, but maybe I'll reveal a little bit more at the live show if you guys get tickets. I'm not sure. What I don't want to do is, God forbid, this guy listens and I say something insulting because he was a really nice person and tall and good looking.

Well, I have one final update for you guys about my neighbor. Do I know this? I think so. I don't remember if I told you. I ran into him since the girlfriend incident. Yeah. Because if you guys aren't caught up, basically like on election day, him and I, when Joe Biden won the election, he and I like spent the whole day together, we ran around, we were drinking. We went to Washington Square Park.

met up with his friends. It was a super fun day. I didn't know anybody that we were with. And then his girlfriend that I did not know existed showed up. He invited me to come and I, I just would have thought he would have mentioned it. Yeah. Maybe like a person you slept with for a year and a half.

By the way, somebody DM me, this is not a long-term girlfriend. This is a new girlfriend. So this is not, I wasn't sleeping with a person that had a girlfriend. No, no, no. You would never. Yeah.

But I ran, I think that, like, I started thinking about this. Like, because I just got up and left as soon as she showed up, like, how lucky is he? that I have like the class and the grace to just get up and walk away and not start a huge fucking fight.

I mean, I was kind of drunk anyway, so whatever. But yeah, I was doing, I was just like, I'm not going to say anything. Like, fuck it, I don't care about this person. Like, I really have this theory that like, it's worth having fights with people and talking to people about their behavior if you want to have a relationship with that.

For sure. But yeah, if not, who cares? If you did something that bothered me, I would talk to you about it. I was in the elevator with him and I got into the elevator to do laundry and he got in and then someone else got in right behind him. And we had to take the elevator like 12 floors together.

He's like, how are you? And I was like, I'm good. He was like, how is the rest of your election day? And I was like, are you fucking baiting me into doing this? Am I going to say something? Am I going to say this? What? And there was like another person in the elevator with me.

And like, I just got off the elevator and I didn't say anything and the door is shut. And I just like, I feel good about the decision. I didn't need to like bring myself to some crazy point of yelling at a person. person and it's just over. Well, and it's one of those weird things of like, again, like in a court of law, he didn't do anything. And then you're out here trying to tell a person that you don't care about having a relationship with, you know, why they quote unquote hurt you, but they didn't. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's, what's the point? What's the point? Like, you would,

100% you would do that if it was a friend or somebody you felt close to where you're like, this hurt me, but it didn't even really because who fucking cares. Yeah. Yeah. It's waste of your breath. Yeah. So I think it's just a good lesson in like picking your battles. It's like, If somebody doesn't mean anything to you, just let it go. Yeah. So that's my update. I appreciate the update. I am really excited, guys.

We have an awesome guest in the studio with us today. He is a Chicago-based writer and podcaster with millions of downloads for his podcast, new mindset. Who is? He loves Adidas more than I do somehow. He loves writing on Post-Den notes, and you can go to his Instagram to see what I mean. Maybe you'll see him in the white baby tea he's wearing today. What?

Baby tea. Yes. Please welcome to the house studio. Case Kenny. Thank you. Wow. I thought we were going to wait at least 30 seconds for that. But here we are.

No, we go. We go. We come in hot. And I just go hard right up top so people know exactly what a piece of shit. I am. Yeah. I mean, the benefit of buying from baby gap is it's much cheaper. So I can get like five of these for the price of an adult size t-shirt.

So this is going to skyrocket Gap's stock. Like Gap like went up 90% with their khakis after Steve Pornacky during the election. Literally. like the people were like what are Steve Kornacki's khakis and they said they were Gap gap they sold 90 percent they want up 90 percent so now I feel like the baby teas are going to start selling you're welcome by that stock tip guys insider trading get in early yeah now you know thanks for having me though I appreciate it thanks for being here well we were really excited we found you on the internet and I've been following you for a while and I love the stuff that you do I love your insights um you know

all jokes aside, I think that you're really interesting. So we would love to hear a little bit more about you. And for you to answer our favorite question, what gives you the right? So what gives you the right to talk about? What you talk about? I feel like so giggly. I thought you were going to say, I find you really good looking. Like, I thought you were going to like take it and get really weird with it.

But yeah, interesting and smart. Let's make it weird. I'm trying to. Who are you today? I don't know. I'm trying to remember who told me about you. Do you remember how you found case? So a girlfriend of mine tagged you in something.

She's single and cute, but apparently Ashley's into you. No eyes. Guys, we got to move on. This is so weird. And I'm wearing Adidas too. Oh, you are wearing Adidas. A friend of mine tagged you in her story. And I was like, oh, this is really interesting insight.

I've never heard it spun this way because you do a lot of stuff, dating and relationships. That's how I started following you. I sent it to Ashley. we asked you to come on the show. You tagged us in an Instagram post. We reposted it about 5,000 of our followers. Little Sluts just stormed your Instagram. And here we are today.

That's so funny. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah, I mean, I can answer your question for sure. I mean, I give a lot of dating advice now, but I never in a million years thought I would. To answer your question, all right, I think I'm woefully unqualified to give dating advice.

I think what I'm good at is simplifying things in life. And I've been a writer and a podcaster for a while. And I talk about mindfulness in general. Mindfulness. And that boys down to a lot of different things. And I have a podcast called New Mindset, Who Dis, and I talk about mindfulness. And I didn't even start talking about dating and relationships until way, way in. And I'm like 14 years old. So I waited until episode 69 to even give dating advice. So I just like, and then once I did, I know. On such a deep level. Wow. Wow. I mean. Bless your heart. Anytime I can make a 69 joke. So I started giving advice thoughts. I wasn't even advice. It was just like thoughts. And people seem to really

resonate with it. And I'm still trying to figure out why. I think it's, you know, I tend just to be able to simplify things, like for myself. Like everything I do, as selfish as it sounds, like the, the podcast, the writing. Like, I started it all for myself just to like talk, talk through my own thoughts and like kind of dive into it. And people were like, wow, this is cool. I'm like, all right, I'm just going to keep doing it. So then now I'm the guy who walks around Chicago, of taking pictures of my feet with post-it notes, and it just, like, kind of took off, honestly. You know, I wrote some books and things have kind of blown up.

But, yeah, I mean, I always say, like, I call myself a dude-brough guy, which is, like, a combination of all things, just dude. Because I am. I mean, I made fun of my T-shirt, talking about doing push-ups right before. I had protein shake. I'm going to listen to some house music after this.

It's just the way it is. That's just who I am, you know? I'm not, like, some expert. I'm not some guru, I do meditations and I do mindfulness things. Like anytime someone's like, oh, you got to align your chakras and you got to vibrate at a higher frequency, I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, I don't know.

I like, I can't read good. Like I don't know what you're saying. So long with the way of just saying, you know, I like I think what I bring to the table and the reason humbly that people dig what I write and say is just like simplifying it these topics, whether it's dating or mindfulness or just, you know, bringing a new thought to it from just an everyday relatable kind of dude. I think it's really helpful and inspiring to other people because we get a lot of people to say, like, how do I get into X thing? I want to do this thing. And it's hard to explain it.

It's like you just have to do stuff that you love and lean into it and hopefully other people enjoy it. There's not like a, you can't wake up and be this person. So I think that your path is great. Did you study anything like psychology or anything? No, no. Again, try to picture this. Picture like myself. I'm, you know, somewhat tall white dude. I study Chinese language in college. I studied Chinese. I don't care. How tall are you?

Yeah, your answer is irrelevant at this point in case. I'm 6.2. 6.2.5, 6.3. We call it 6.3. Do you speak Chinese? I majored in it in college. Wow. That's so impressive.

I have like, I feel like I look at the Chinese language and feel anxiety. It's really cool. I was always good at it. Like, I'm bad at a lot of things, like counting and, like, calculus. this, but I was, and like, I was pre-med for a while. I couldn't, I was horrible. I had to drop that stat. But I was always good at languages. It was weird. I lived in China. I did all that stuff, but that was a long time ago. But, yeah, so no, no, it's funny because you don't have any, like, therapy background or psychology or anything like that, but I get messages from licensed therapist all the time. And they're

like, hey, I'm a licensed therapist. I'm like, oh, shit, you're going to blow up everything I just said. And they're like, actually, what you said is tied to this theory and this theory. So it's like, somehow in some roundabout dude way, it comes back to something that's actually been like verified or scientific. So I got that going for me. So you wrote this book, single is your superpower. I bought it. I bought it. And I brought it over to Ashley. I like to do research. We like to do research on our guests before we have them on. There's two books. One's a journal. Oh, okay. And one's a book. So let's talk about it. And then we're going to talk about being single and owning it. We're going to talk about mixed signals. We're going to talk about looks. We've got a lot of stuff time pack with you today.

So maybe this is like a good way to lead into sort of your theories and thoughts on being single. So tell us about the book. Yeah. Yeah. No, I appreciate you grabbing the book. Yeah. I mean, so I called it single is your superpower because I think it is. I think being single, I think understanding the opportunity, what it brings to your table when you are single, it is a superpower. It's not something that I think you should look down on. It's not something you should try to escape as quickly as possible. You know, it's a chance to become secure. in so many different ways. And I could talk about this forever. The way that I think about it is I try to like take myself out of out of my current time and like look ahead in 50 years, 30, call 30 years, or talk to someone who's been married for 20 years. And I think if you were to ask that person, you know, if they regretted being single. They would never say they regretted being single. Like I don't think it's possible to be like, I regret being single back in my 20s or 30s. I think there's lots of other things that you might regret in life, right? Like a relationship that you knew,

you shouldn't have been in that you continue to be in, you know, dating the wrong people, doing these, these actions that you knew were wrong for you. But I don't think you could ever literally and honestly look back and be like, I regret being single. I think sometimes it's, you know, you could be lonely when you're single, but I think the pros massively outweigh the con. So I talk a lot about that in the book. It's like half book, half journal. And the journal aspect is designed to kind of do all the things that I think you should do when you're single, which is namely figure out what your why is. And you. You know, you know, your dating life. Like similarly, similarly, we have a why in, you know, our personal lives. I think you

need a why in your dating life. You know, I was in a relationship for a long time before I started the podcast and I hopped out of that relationship. And I was like, wow, like, who am I? What do I want? Like all those kind of things, right? So I just kind of channeled all that into, you know, into the podcast. And then after doing that for a while and being single now for like two, two, three years. I'm just like, I've massively grown through it and it's been so valuable for me. So, you know, that's why I say singles or superpower. So when you say the why, what exactly is the definition of the why from your end? Yeah, I think, well, so I think why in dating, like this might not seem like a big difference, but it is to me. Like, I think a lot of time, if I ask myself previously,

if I ask people who DM me or message me, I'm like, well, you know, like literally the question, why are you dating? Like, why are you on apps? Why are you going on dates? Why are you looking for a partner? People are like, what do you mean? Why? Like, that's what you're supposed to do. You're not supposed to be alone. You're supposed to create a life with other people. You're supposed to share your talents. You're supposed to raise a family, like things like that. And I think those are very valid answers. I think absolutely. Like we're wired like biologically in a sense, I suppose. Again, I'm not a scientist. You're supposed to pair off. That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to create a life with someone else. But I think there, I think you have to date.

have to have a more like self-serving why like my why and this is the most cliche why in the world but it's personal to me is like I date to find someone who helps me become a better man that's why I date and then part of that is then yes so we could build a life together and so that I'm not alone and we can start a family and create a legacy and like those kinds of things but inherently it like it's personal and somewhat selfish in a in a positive way and I feel like a lot of times people don't really think about that like why are you dating like it's just something you do so like my whole thing when I about being single. It's like, I'm not encouraging people to like go and hoe it up and like do you. Like I love that. I even have a chapter in a book called your hoe phase where it's like,

do that. But like I'm not saying, you know, you should always be single. I'm saying when you're single, you should make the most of it and figure out all these things. Then the top one being your why. Like why are you dating? And if you don't know your why, then then don't date. Figure it out. So like that's my biggest thing. And it's helped me a lot because I used to like I would date just go through the motions. I wasn't even thinking. Like, it's amazing how many things we do just, like, to do it. And we don't think it through. Like, why do we do it?

I don't know. We just do it. Well, like, society and like what's considered normal, you know, like, we talk about stuff that's, like, I don't want children. I don't know that I want to live with somebody. Even if we're married, like, I don't know. It's kind of people just think they're supposed to do these things. Like you said, like, I'm supposed to be on the apps.

I'm supposed to do these things. And it's like, not if you don't want to. Not if it's not your truth. So I just like love. that you said that. Like, what am I looking for? Why am I doing this? Why am I out here? Like, you cannot start the process if you don't know that answer or be successful, I guess. I think, I think so, right? It's like, yeah, it's like you're wandering around in the dark. I mean, you just, like, give yourself a little bit of light. You know, I talk in the, in the book too,

and on my podcast about, like, you know, being single, it means you're dating, like, you're out there and you're dating and you're doing it with intent because you know you're why. But it's also, like, to your point, you're figuring things out for yourself. Like, it's one thing to like even listen to my podcast or read my writing and hear the things that I say. I'm like, this is a red flag. That's a red flag. Do this. Don't do that. I think that's decent. But you have to prove all those things for yourself. Like, I think life is built on your experiences. You have to touch it, feel it, smell it, whatever. Like, you shouldn't take someone else's advice that it's a red flag. Maybe it's not a red flag for you. Or maybe, you know, something is less important for you. But it's,

the most important thing to some other blogger. That's why I say, like, being single, it's your opportunity to prove all these things to yourself. What is actually important to you? What do you actually want? What are the values that you want? What are the values that you bring to the table? Like, all these things.

So it all goes hand in hand to me. Like, you're proving to yourself what you're doing and why you're doing it. Right. And if it's, you're just like my wise, I want to fuck. Great. That's great. Do that. Do that thing.

Yeah. Exactly. But I love that because you're being intentional. Like my whole, my whole thing with, with data. is like so many people date without intention. And you know, it doesn't make them bad people. It just means they haven't taken the time to do all those things we just discussed. And you're going to run into those people all the time. And that's where you get into trouble with, you know, people being ambiguous, people giving you mixed signals, people ghost things because they don't know why they're

doing what they're doing. Or maybe they do, but they don't have the balls to say it. Right. So that's why, yeah, I think that's exactly it. If you just want to F, then have that it. But be up front with that. Like, that's cool. But, you know, just say it. Yeah, I think that it's interesting to me. Like I never really thought about it this way and framed it this way. And I think a lot of people do date just to find a partner just because they don't want to go to a party alone. They don't want to go to a wedding alone. They want to live with another person and come home to somebody at the end of the day.

Those are fine reasons. I'm not discounting that. But I do see people make a lot of decisions and get into situations that I would say are not good situations just because they want to have a body. I think that that's a sad way to make decisions. and you put yourself in this position where you've like, you have to sacrifice a lot of what you want, I think, to have this person because you've made these decisions only based on I need a partner, insert body.

Yeah, yeah, you just buy an off-the-shelf human for that. Like, what do you like? Yeah. Yeah, I have issue with that. And I think we've all gone through that phase. Certainly, like, you know, I did that all in my 20s. And I realized that, you know, you're going to end up frustrated because you do all these things without intention.

Like the whole point of doing like, all like when I say like mindfulness I think mindfulness is extremely applicable in dating of course like all mindfulness is self-awareness like people have all these different definitions of mindfulness and meditating all it is a self-awareness how how like how aware are you of what you're doing and why you're doing it I think we're aware of what we're doing it but are we aware of why we're doing it I think a lot of the times no like I really I think we just do things we just do it how do you instruct people to do that well I mean it's it's literally just that way it's asking yourself questions. Like, I think the question of why is the most powerful thing in the world. I think you could

break down anything in your life that's frustrating you, anything that's eluding you, any feeling that you're lost or falling behind or anything like that. You could break it down with why to a point where you might not have an answer, but at least you know why you're thinking what you're thinking. I think the reason that people are anxious a lot of the time in life are frustrated is because, you know, they have this overwhelming feeling of, you know, of being lost or something like that. But if they just dove into it, they could really pinpoint what the reason is. So my whole thing with the, like with journaling in general, like I created a journal called the New Mindset Journal. That's like 60 days worth of just playing 20 questions with yourself, but like really specific questions.

It's the same thing for dating. Like I put all these questions in here about like to write 10 qualities that you think you want in someone. And then I do this whole chapter on the flip side of that. I have this, this thought process. I like to borrow analogies from various hip-hop R&B superstars like are you bringing your milkshake to the yard? I did this whole thing where it's like like you like you want you want these attributes in someone else but are you bringing yours to the yard? You know what I mean? Like so it's like this is double-ed-ed-cho like you want someone who's kind, compassionate, who communicates and all these things. Well, it's like I think you're a bit of a hypocrite if you yourself either don't, don't bring those things to the yard or aren't

working to bring them to the yard. Right. So like the journal then helps you like dive into that. So it's all about question and answer. Like, I feel like, you know, you just don't ask yourself those questions. My boobs are the milkshake. That's what I'm bringing. What's your milkshake? My six pack. Okay.

No, there's more to us than that. We'll talk about that. It's not all about looks. Also, I'm not like that attractive. Okay. So I'm out here like it's not all about looks because I'm so beautiful. Okay. So I, uh, and I, we'll get into it.

And then the mindfulness in general, the meditation and those things are just to, I mean, there's multiple reasons. Again, I'm not a meditation expert by any strategy, but like just to quiet your mind to even get to those questions and answered, right? Like, I feel like, is that why you meditate to be able to get into the headspace to start asking the questions? Yeah. Well, actually, so I'm like really bad at meditation. Like, I am like ADD. Like, I'm looking at other things in my apartment. Like, I just like, I can't focus.

So one of the things that I do, I do them like, like every six episodes on the podcast is I collaborate with DJs and producers and I create dance music itemitations. I've done them with Griffin and I'm doing one with Alesso and Sam Felton and all these different people. It's like it's like kinetic meditation. You do it while you're working out. Right. And so for me, I get in a certain headspace when I hear the right music, like progressive upbeat like house music, EDM music. It puts me in the right zone. So it's basically, it's relative for different people, right? Some people are fine sitting down. and clearing their mind.

If I sit down and try to clear my mind, I'm just going to do a highlight reel of all my awkward moments of the past 10 years. Like, I just can't focus. Like, it's the way it is. So that's the way that I do it. But regardless of how you do it, that's the whole thing, right?

It's quieting your mind to an extent so that you could become aware of your intentions. I think a lot of times we don't even know what our intentions are. That's the biggest thing. We're just like robots. So yeah, either way, however you do it, it's about asking yourself more questions.

and until you come up with an answer or until it points you in a direction of where you might find an answer. So it's relative to you. Yeah. And I feel I do, I mean, fitness and workouts have always been my like form of that. Like I don't sit and really meditate, but I can feel like my brain operate in a different way like after a workout or after the Peloton or I used to just do these hot yoga classes. And Rayna knows, like I just wouldn't, I'd come out of them like a different person. Like I'm just kind of like all anxious or whatever it is. and I'm just like I got to go do this and I come out of it, like ready to think more clearly,

make decisions. Like, it's truly my therapy. So I feel that. And the music is huge too for me. So I love that. Yeah. I like the idea of just taking the time to think like, why am I making these decisions? Why do I need these things?

Why am I so afraid to be a certain way? Why am I afraid to be single? Why can't I be alone? I think that's a really important question to answer. And Ashley and I have friends and friends of friends that we've just seen put themselves in some pretty shitty situations. because they are so afraid to be alone. And it's like, why is that the worst thing in the world?

You know, I mean, I would say, I think being in these situations is worse than being alone. But I think people are really frightened to be alone. It sucks to be alone. Look, I love hanging out with somebody. I love it somebody is obligated by a contract to live with me. And that they have to hang out with me all the time. That's why I went to business with somebody.

She has to be with me all the time. Otherwise, I'm just work alone. But I don't know. I mean, I'm sure that you talk to people all the time and you get a ton of messages like why are people so afraid to be alone? What's the worst thing in the world about being alone? Yeah. I think it's funny. There's that like meme that's like, I love you so much. I want to get the government involved so you can't leave. That's the vibe, right? Marriage is fucking creepy when you really think about it. Your dad gives you away. You wear a white

dress. You have to wear a ring to show that you're taken. I hate all of it. Okay, we'll talk about it later. Ashley is obligated to me contractually though. It's in writing. We have lawyers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what do people say to you? Like, why? Why? I mean, I guess we could answer that answer. It's not that deep, but maybe it is deep. I don't know. You tell us. Well, yeah. So I think there's a lot there certainly. I think it's definitely what you said right now. I think certainly, you know, it's it's more fun to have someone else. Like absolutely. Like it just is, but I think the contrast is, you know, it's tough to be alone because it's easier to make decisions when you're settling otherwise. Like it's easy to be with someone who isn't right for you. Like that's easy.

It's easy to like, even outside of dating and relationships, it's easy to pretend you like, like the same things as everyone else. It's easy to like go along with the script. I think it comes down to this idea that I talk a lot about is this idea of chasing versus attracting. I think when you're in a chasing mindset, like that's when you really, really don't want to be alone. So I think, you know, I don't know why. I think everyone's wired different. Like I love spending alone time. So I can't say, you know, universally why some people are wired to like they can't be alone and when they're alone. Like it's terribly depressing for them. But I think, you know, some kind of kind of baseline level, it comes down to this idea in your life of do you have an attracting

mindset or a chasing mindset. A chasing mindset is one where you're definitely going to really be averse to being alone. That's one where, you know, you're very impatient when it comes to wanting to find a partner. You're probably not that honest with yourself or your partner. You're probably willing to not be yourself to find that partner. You're more than willing to bend over backwards to like to win that person, right? That's a chasing mindset. I talk a lot about that. The attracting mindset is, you know, the simple contrast to that. And that's where you're simply putting yourself out there and you're willing to be told yes or told no. And I think when, I mean, this is like super simple stuff, right? This isn't earth shattering. But I feel like a lot of times,

we don't really understand what mindset we're operating in and with. And when it's the former and not attracting, that's when it's like, I can't be alone right now because I need to win this person. And I don't want to be alone. I have nothing to do. So I think that that's the biggest thing that I notice with people, it's, it's, again, it's their, it's their mindset. And you could boil that down to why, like, why don't you want to be alone? I think if you ask yourself that question and you kind of discard the, the answers of, well, it's lonely. I think, yeah, everyone's lonely at some point, but that doesn't, you know, mean you're lonely forever. And again, you kind of do that thing where you move out of this time and into, you know, 20 years from now and you look back, it's like,

I don't think you regret being single. I don't think you'll regret a couple years of being lonely necessarily if you make the most of it. So yeah, I hear that a lot. But I think a lot of it can be addressed with understanding what your mindset is currently. I want to talk about this chasing mindset thing for one second because I think that there are people that will, for whatever reason or another, bend over backwards to convince somebody that they are a certain way, that they don't care about certain things, and certain things don't bother them, that they have certain hobbies. And like, how long can you really keep that up in order to sustain a relationship?

Three months? Three months for you? No, I read that once, like some therapist, expert said, like you can, pretend for three months or you can like hide who you are. I just, I think like how bad that is for your psyche and like how much, how long can you personally keep this up and how much of yourself have you given up in the meantime and how many panic attacks have you sustained and are you eating and are you

being healthy and are you like maintaining your other relationships in the meantime? Well, and Rain and I are just all hot on attachment theory recently and guys, if you're listening, we have an episode coming so don't worry. We're not going to leave you. We're not going to blue ball you on that. But I mean, there's people that are just generally, their attachment style is anxious. and so they're just going to be more that way. And the answer is not like turn into a secure person. It's just like fill the voids.

Like it's date more if you're able and find hobbies, figure out what you like when exercise, music, all the things. It's kind of just like you, if you're lonely, that means there's time to fill with other things. So there's like the silver lining, figure something out to fill those voids. You know, spend more time with friends, family, get a dog, whatever. We're so busy. I'd love to sit around and be.

fucking lonely once in a while. We work on this TV script I've been procrastinating on. You know, like, it's just like we love it. Figure out how to fill the time, I guess. Like a mindset shift for me would be like, I'm quote unquote, bored. I'm lonely. Cool. You have time on your hands.

Let's figure out something to put in there. Yeah, absolutely. Well, a couple of different things. Just to go back to your first point. Like, I think it's, yeah, it's very easy to fake who you are to win someone over or at least find alignment and do it for a couple months. right? You could do that. Absolutely. Yeah. 90 day.

Been there. Oh, God. Yes. Let me see how that turns out. So one, you have examples of it not turning out well. But I think the biggest thing is, yeah, you're going to drive yourself nuts because my whole thing with dating and relationships, I think it's so funny that I'm just a dude talking about like what is love. But I think there's a big difference between being loved and being understood.

And if you're faking who you are, you're not going to be understood. And I think it's so much more important to be understood first and then love. second, you're going to be terribly miserable. Because obviously, if you're faking who you are, there's no way someone's going to understand you. You're literally blocking them. So it's going to be blatantly obvious that you're taking the wrong path. So yeah, I just throw that out there in response to what you're saying. You can do it for three months, but you're moving yourself further and further from being understood by a potential partner. And that's never going to work out in your favor. Yeah. I couldn't do it for three minutes. I can't. I never had a thought that I didn't think was

amazing and I had to say it right that second. I can maybe shut the fuck up for two minutes. When you get to that third minute, Raina can fake it for two minutes. And that's another thing with the attachment style. Like you can't fake, if you're this person that is really wants love

and you crave it and you're a little more needy. I don't say that in a bad way, but you can't pretend to be the other way. Like you can, but it's only going to waste your time, waste the other person's time. Like I just, I mean, again, we say live your truth. like it's applicable in so many different ways. Yeah. And I mean, I, from a guy's perspective,

I think it's so much more attractive when you do live your truth within reason, of course. Like, yeah, I mean, if you attach easily, then I would just say it. I mean, I wouldn't, you know, try to hide something for one. I mean, because that's what you read, you know, isn't attractive. And you shouldn't like all these different things that I've listened to in your podcast that you've talked about before. But I mean, I think there's, it's very a when you are intentional, when you are vulnerable, when you are honest. And if you're trying to hide those things and then you're going to slowly bring them out in month four and month five and that's your game plan, it's like just bring them out in month one

and see what goes on. If that's truly your style, then just go for it. You're just delaying the inevitable, right? This is just like delaying a means to an end. Like if you're just going to allow somebody to behave. It's going to come out at some point how you feel and how you behave. And I don't know, you don't date a lot of Jewish girls. We're all sort of the same. We just let it all out. But I think that's great. I think that's attractive. Get yourself a Jew.

We did want to talk to you about mixed signals. And I think one of the things that you start accepting from people, when you are trying to pretend that you are a certain way, it's like you just take any signal at all and you read it as a good one. And, you know, there's like the, there's like a meme says, like, do yourself a favor. I take mixed signals as a no. Which is, it's pretty much what I believe. I mean, you could at least take it as a maybe and go live your life.

But I think that you start accepting a lot of things that, like, you don't you shouldn't necessarily accept if you're operating from a place of like I'm just going to be whoever I need to be to get this person to be with me yeah yeah yeah I mean I think we could all agree objective like why would you want to be with someone you have to convince to be with you you know like overtly convince them like obviously you've got to sell yourself but like everyone we all agree with this right like I think I think any logical person would but like we don't do it with our actions at all like something happens we just get blinded and we just keep going for it so I mean I yeah I think it's, I think it's true.

Like, I don't think it's oversimplifying life. Like, if someone is making you feel unsure about what they want and they're not doing anything to indicate to you that they have a desire to get to know you better, then it's a done deal. Then you should just move on. Like, it's all, like, it's one thing to be unsure about someone. I think in dating, like, you're both going to be unsure about each other. One person might be more sure than the other. That's fine.

But what do their actions say? Are they trying to become sure? That's a different story than if they're just not doing anything. And if they're not doing anything, then you have. your answer. Like, I think everyone overthinks things massively. And I think, you know, it's, it's like, if you just take a step back and objectively think about what their actions are telling you, it's, it's a clear answer. I even, I listened to your episode with Mark Manson, who I love his stuff. And he had the friend test. Like, it would, like, if your friend was given you mixed

signals, if they were spending, taking four days to respond to your text, you would be pissed and you would either confront them or you wouldn't be friends of them anymore. So there's, there's two things you could do in a relationship. That's the same thing. Like you can go and you can be like, hey, what's up? Like, are we doing this or not? No, fine. Or you could just be done. You can just make that decision. So I think it's pretty simple. We overcomplicate it. Yeah. I think being vulnerable is scary. And I think it's scary to tell a person that you like them. And I think it's scary to put yourself out there. I haven't really talked about this on the podcast. It's not that deep, I guess. But I met somebody recently. I really liked him. And I told him. And on the nice side of

things it was reciprocated. And then his actions after that did not lead me to believe that it was reciprocated. And it was embarrassing and it's, it's embarrassing to tell somebody that you like them and to have them not behave a certain way. But he's, he's embarrassing. You know what? He's embarrassing. I agree. You are not embarrassing. He embarrasses me. I'm embarrassed for him. I don't feel embarrassed, I guess, that I did it. I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I told a person that I liked that I liked them. And it doesn't have anything to do with me if he decided, I mean, I guess it sort of has something to do with me. If he decided to not act right after that, but like, I'm fine, you know?

Like my life has gone on. I've moved on. I'm proud of my life. This person doesn't define me in any way. And I'm fine. You know, I took mixed signals as a no and I moved on with my life. Yeah. So there's a bunch there.

A couple of different things I can say. For one, everyone gets rejected. Like every single one. Like, for example, I shared this on the podcast the other week. And this isn't like an overt rejection, but it was a rejection nonetheless. Like, I haven't gone on a date. in eight months. I just haven't been interested.

Like, it is what it is. But I agreed to go on one. Like, I agreed to go. And we set up a time and I go and blah, blah, blah. And long story short, I got stood up. She just didn't show nothing. And it was actually, it was like, give us her handle.

She lived in Chicago? What is her name? She got hated on by my listeners. So I want to be gentle with her. I was a little harsh on the podcast. But it was, it was funny. It was like rom-com style because it was raining out. standing outside all alone and it was like sad music playing it was a whole vibe but

but but so just point there it obviously everyone gets uh rejected or overlooked or is a victim of mixed signals or or being unintentional but to your point like i did a podcast on this i think in life your sole intention people are big on setting intentions right i'm going to set this intention and this goal and i'm going to manifest this that and the other i think the intention you should set in your life is to just be proud of yourself And if you tell someone that you like them and they say, no, thanks, it sucks. I mean, it's not going to, it's going to sting a little bit. But at least you put yourself out there and said that.

I think, I think that is a huge vibe and it's something you can always be grateful for. So I think that's, that's a win. Absolutely. Yeah. And he has to look at my thirst traps on Instagram for the rest of his life and think about a huge mistake he made. Yeah, exactly. Well, and it's just, it's growth.

I like, again, it's a mindset shift. That's what the whole episode is about. It's like taking something and flipping the script on it, which in that case is like, That was really, like, brave of me to do that. Good for me. You know what I mean? Like, that's, it's hard to do to be vulnerable and tell somebody how you feel. And it's like, this is a good step in my personal growth.

Fuck that person that didn't reciprocate it. Not fuck them. You know what I mean? Like, you know, maybe it feels like a rejection, but it's like the mindset flip of, but I'm proud of me for how I handled it. Yeah. I'm proud of me. And I think that it's sort of weird for somebody to tell you that they'd like you to and

then to blow you off. So fuck that person. And I dodge the bullet. Fuck him. He's not that funny. Fuck him. He doesn't, he doesn't sound funny at all.

But yeah. He's a stupid haircut. Case is like, I get it. So he's not funny. This guy's a loser. The fucking loser. But I mean,

that's it, right? I mean, yeah, you could always be proud of yourself for doing that. I mean, personally, I think like,

as a guy, it's the most attractive thing in the world if, like, I don't know, I feel like a lot of the times like a woman waits for the guy to like, oh, where are we going with this?

Like, oh, you do like me. You have this, you said it. now we can move forward. I think it's the greatest thing in the world when a woman says that. So, like, even more kudos in that sense. I feel like a lot of times being more aggressive in that sense is amazing. I think about this a lot. A lot of times, just in general, like men are obviously, you know, they're the aggressors. They're the first movers. They're the first ones with compliments.

Like when a woman like flips it, it's the, it's the most amazing thing in the world. Like, if the guys don't get a whole lot of compliments a lot of times, just in general and being a man, like to get an overt compliment or overt like here's my intention. It's like, whoa, this is kind of amazing and vulnerable and I love it. Every man we talk to across the board, every secure man, right? So again, we're Rayna and I are hot on attachment theory right now. So not an avoidant person that like is going to freak out, which you don't really want anyway. So any secure man wants to be with a woman that makes him feel good about himself.

Like we hear this constantly. Like you want to be with somebody that makes you feel good. Like this doesn't mean like compliments all day every day, stroke their ego, pander to them, whatever. But like in general, like who doesn't want that? Like the right person would never be turned off. The right person for you would never be turned off by you telling them you like them. And we say this too on dating apps. It's like people get so weird out, weird out about like making a move on a date.

It's like it's a dating app. This is what we're out here for. Like if you're going on dates with somebody, why are you so scared to tell them you like him? This isn't linked in. We're on here to fuck. Let's go out. I want to be your pen pal. Yeah.

No, totally. That's rain is why. I'm here to fuck. Here to fuck. But it's just, yeah, I think people like, what are we doing here if we don't like each other? You know what I mean? Like, if not, like, let's stop wasting each other's time.

So I just think sometimes women, and trust me, like having kind of like a hard to get vibe obviously can be attractive to, but it's, it can't just be a full bitch all the time. Like there's kind of this false narrative of like, you need to kind of like cut a man down. on a little bit and I just like, I don't know. It's never really what I've heard for men that they like to feel emasculated or like they're you know, I don't know.

Not for me, at least. I don't know. I'm sensitive. That would hurt me. That's playing games to me. There's a difference. You don't have to play games. You can still play the game.

There is a difference to me. Like you don't have to show all of your cards. You can play the game a little bit without playing games with people and there is a difference. Yeah. I see like if you're thirsty, be thirsty. but don't be like openly available to like act on that. I think yeah, I mean, I think to your point about,

um, you said like a guy wants to feel good about himself or something like that. I think, I think that that's a big vibe there too because that's in line with a why. Like the biggest thing that I look for in someone and the biggest thing I think that other people should look for and other people amongst, it's cool to have a checklist and all that, but it's how someone makes you feel that is like the ultimate test for

compatibility. I mean, you could have a list of all these different things, height and success and upbringing and sense of humor and all those things. But, you know, I think that is a perfect person. And I don't think perfect people necessarily exist, but I think soulmates exist in the sense that there is someone who's going to make you feel a perfect way. And I think if you're vulnerable with yourself and you're willing to figure out what that looks like to you and you're willing to put aside some of the

bullshit expectations about some of those other things, like, that's going to help you enormously in your life to make better decisions and not like date in that gray area of like not knowing what you're doing. Yeah. And I think that like we talk a lot about like living a life that you're proud of. And I think that if you fill your life with all of these hobbies and activities and a job that you love and things like that, you're, you're better equipped to find somebody that makes you feel good as opposed to somebody that you need to be with in a certain way. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Or just somebody that's hot. I'm so excited to talk about this with like the looks thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think I think that's it exactly. I mean, there's a time for every different kind of

relationship, I suppose. Like, there's a time in your life for someone who's just hot and you just you just, you know, that's what you want. But I think once you're serious, I think you need to figure out what is that feeling that you want them to make you feel and then you move from that as your as your number one, your number one stunner on your list of things of that you're looking for. I mean, I think, I mean, to your question about looks and I've done episodes on this, I've done posts on this saying, you know, your looks are the least interesting thing about you. I think that's true. I mean, like, I think it's very important. I think the first thing. is, are you physically attracted to them? That's not going anywhere. That's obviously very, very,

very important. But I just, I am kind of, uh, I think it's strange how the waters are murky by our desire to be with 10 out of 10 and how sex is always a huge motivator. Like, I think it's very important in life, of course, but I think like as you get older, you realize that there are significantly more important things. Like I'm not saying that they sound like noble or overly mature, but I've realized that. Like, there are so many more important things. being with that perfect 10 out of 10 that you've always envisioned. And then you find the other attributes. It like to me it has to be the other way around. It has to be like how that person makes you feel makes you understood. And then to be understood, that's the key to a relationship.

Like I've dated very attractive women. I've dated models and it's been fun and it's great. But I didn't feel understood. And that nagged at me and nagged at me until I was like this this needs to end. So I've proven that time and time again. Yeah. And I want to I want to like get into the look stuff. you had this great quote by Coco Chanel. You had a great example about an influencer. I want to talk about it stuff. Basically just re-say your episode. But I listened to it last night.

So I'm just like, this is stuff I think about all the time. And for me personally, I love the way I look. I am well aware that people don't find me attractive. And that's totally fine. But this is what I look like. And I have learned to love myself and the way I look. Like, I don't know what's the alternative. Like, I'm not going to get a new face.

I'm not going to get a new body. You know, like, this is what I was given. And I'm going to work with it the best I can. I'm going to take care of my hair and my skin and, you know, dress for my body and work out and eat right and do those things. But it's like, this is who I am. And I am confident in that. And I'm going to own it.

And I'm not saying that I always felt like this. I think we all have all felt insecure at times. But I've gotten to a point where I'm like, I love myself. So, and that's not to say that like you can tweak things here and there. I love the way you look. Thank you. You look great. You can do things.

You can get Botox if you want. You can do whatever it is, as long as you're as secure on the inside, because I think what people, where they go wrong, is they do all these things because their entire self-worth is wrapped up in their looks. And so they just are constantly trying to achieve happiness and fulfillment via their looks. And so it's kind of a sad thing to see. And I think we really see it. And I think it does, you know, our influence our culture and people like the Kardashians and everybody

doesn't help. But it's kind of, it goes backwards with people. they think that if they get to this certain way of appearance, then they'll feel happier. And it's like so sad because it's really the truly the opposite. You know, so I think we just see people that their whole entire value is wrapped up. And like you said, the least interesting thing about you. Yeah. Yeah, you nailed it.

I don't know. I'm trying to think about what I even said in that episode. I mean, I think that's. Actually, I'm excited. Remind me. Before you do this, okay, at 10 o'clock last night, Ashley's like, I want to get into this look stuff he's talking about. She starts like, my, my texts are.

blowing up and I'm like, how do I say this nicely? I've been up since 6.30 and I don't want to talk about work anymore. So Ashley, um, actually, listen to this. She has all your baseball cards. Um, I, I want to be surprised by this.

You talked about an influencer that like, again, guys, Ray and I are technically influencers too. This is no shade. This is no shade to hot people. Like, whatever. It's just no shade to hot people.

Everybody that's like a 10 is like, they're just mad. They're six. So, um, you said, you just said this great example of an influencer that like, like started a clothing line and no one bought it because she wasn't, people didn't, all they saw was her looks and her body. They didn't know the real her. And we see that all the time. Like,

there's people that are just like a pretty picture. And then there are influencers who people really feel like they know. And this isn't to say that you can't just be a model. If you, if you're a model, be a model. But yeah, I just love that you brought that example up. So yeah, I mean, the influencer example I use is just like concrete proof that if, if, you're building a house on sand like it's going to fall apart that that example was you know i don't know anything about her assuming she's a great person but you know she had millions of followers and it was built on hey look how hot i am like no platform behind it you know she didn't talk like it's one thing to be hot but then talk about you know different different causes and that's that's amazing use your hotness

to your advantage um but anyway she launched a clothing line and she sold like less than 30 pairs of sweatshirts or whatever it was so it just like proved that for one people yes are certainly attracted to attractive people, duh. But they're attracted to other things even more. I mean, proof is into pudding. No one bought anything from her because they didn't buy into who she was. You're building a whole persona built on how hot you are. Like that doesn't fly anymore.

For one, like not to shit on influencer culture. I think there's tons of amazing models who have great causes. That's fantastic. But if you as a human being are attaching your worth and your impact to how hot you are, like it's going to come crumbling down at some point. I think we're all honest with each other with ourselves. Like if you can look yourself in the mirror and you're like, I'm not happy right now. I don't feel worthy right now. But I will or I do when I'm this, I'm this attractive or I'm this in shape or I'm this jacked or whatever it is. Like I think there has to be a moment of raw vulnerability with yourself. And you're like, it's kind of a problem, isn't it that I've tied my worth, my availability to my ability to attract someone else to my looks. I think, I think if we're real with ourselves, we know when that is, right? You could look yourself in the mirror and be like, man, that's kind of a problem. And then you could think to yourself, what, you know, what is the solution? Like, how do I not be like this? Like to your point, it's like, if you only feel worthy as a person when you have, you know, you're a more filler or Botox or you get your boobs done or whatever it is, like, or a guy, like, you're only feel worthy when you're when you're jacked and you're in a best shape. Like, I think you could be real with yourself. I'm like, there's, there's got to be more to this. So that's the inward. version and of course the outward version for other people when you're dating is kind of the same to me as well. It's a feeling. I think that you do show up with a better energy when you feel good

about yourself. But, you know, I think back to the times when I was the skinniest I ever was and the youngest I ever was and the most toned and, you know, I was like 23 and I looked fucking amazing and my hair was all full and long and I was the most miserable I have ever been in my life when I looked the best I ever looked. And I don't think I look bad now. I think I'm a normal fucking girl. but I think that I was the most miserable when I looked the best basically. It didn't make me happy, is what I'm saying. If I look at the time that I really peaked,

that was the worst time in my life. And I think I look fine. I think I'm a normal looking girl. And I'm not going to sink the time and energy. Also, I'm not going to pretend here like I don't fucking get Botox and wear hair extensions for our live shows and do stuff. Like, okay, I'm not out here being like, I'm so natural. I throw a Paris filter on it every once to want.

I'm just not going to pretend of something. I'm not. but I'm a normal average looking girl and I feel better than I ever did when I was 22 and the hottest body I've ever had in my life because I was fucking miserable, you know? Yeah. So, and then you had this great quote, a Chanel quote. I love a man. The quote Chanel in the episode that I want to kind of talk about.

Yeah, nothing like a Coco Chanel quote. Yeah, it was just a quote that said it's it's not the appearance. It's the essence. It's not the money. It's the education. It's not the clothes. It's the class. and I feel, yeah, that belongs up there with a live, laugh, love quote, but it's really true, right?

I mean, I seriously think so. Yeah. Well, and just love that it's like, it's an energetic thing too. So, like, I've heard so many guys. Like, I have so many great guy friends, hot, successful guy friends. And they don't want those women that are obsessed with their looks and there. And again, if you're just out here like fucking shallow and that's all you care about, live your truth, I just, I tend to think our listeners aren't necessarily those types of girls.

but the guys I know want a woman that knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin. And then when it comes to guys, it's like, that's why we talk about big dick energy. It's not that you have a big dick. And it's not even like that you're that cocky. It's that you're just confident, you know, like that you carry yourself a certain way. And it applies to women too. Just loving yourself and showing up that way. It's like translates.

You don't have to be a woman that's like aggressive and masculine, but it's just that you love yourself. I think it just is like irradiate. That's why when you just have sex, your skin is glowing. Like you feel good about yourself. You feel sexy. You feel hot. Like these things translate. They come through your pores.

Like they really, really do. And I everybody can pick up on it. And again, if there's just people that are just, they just want to fuck other hot people. I mean, great,

whatever. But it's just, I think that people can pick up on the energy you're putting out. And that's what people want. That's what secure, stable people want. It's like someone that loves themselves. I love that so much.

actually, I just, I posted a quote like 10 minutes before we started recording. There's someone from on Twitter that posted it. They said, all it says is to be hot, you literally just have to act like you're hot. And I think that's so, isn't that, I think it's true. I think that's a huge vibe. I mean, it's all about how you carry yourself into my like stupid analogy earlier. It's like, if you're bringing your milkshake to the yard and your milkshake is, is your boobs, is it your personality?

Is it your compassion? Is it your empathy? Then you're hot in my mind. If you're living it, like I think that I think that's such a huge. truth. That's why, like, I love women who just lead with what they have to offer that hopefully is more than their looks. But it could be, you know, their compassion. It could be their empathy. It could be any, any great emotion. And they lead with it and they live it and they swag with it. And they flex on others with it. I think that's amazing. And you're hot in that sense. So,

yeah, it's a state of mind. It is. I feel like I really have like out kicked my coverage with everybody I've ever dated. I just, everybody has hotter than me. Whatever. I hate day really hot. guys, I'm not hot. It's just like, when I go to, I think it's just how you show up. When I see a guy in a bar, I mean, not anymore, because COVID ruined my whole life. But people have always asked me, like, how do you get confidence? How do you approach guys? It's like, I have never stopped to think for one second. When I see somebody that I'm attracted to, whether it's like pheromones or the way that they carry themselves, whatever it is, I've never paused for one second to think, maybe that person won't find me attractive and maybe I shouldn't

go say hello to that person. It's like, they're welcome to not find me attractive. But I've just never paused to think, like, am I good enough for this person? Like, we shouldn't be doing that. Like, if you see somebody that you're attracted to, then go after them because there might be things about you that they're attracted to also, you know? I love that. Good for you. Kudos to you.

Well, we're talking about what is your worth? What is your superpower? So can we do this, uh, little segment with you where we asked our listeners their superpowers. We'll just see what you think. Sure. Okay. We started talking about this a while ago because I asked Ashley if she could have any superpower,

what would it be? I decided that my superpower, if I could have any, would be that I could send one text message. I'm actually going to, I'm going to drill this down, even more. I could send one text message per day that I could take back. So I could send a text, see what the person says, and then I could take it back.

That would be my super power. That's not what we're doing today. I just wanted you guys to know if I could pick one. That's what it would be. Okay. I didn't pick, I'm just going to talk about my other ones I already have. Okay. And then I'll follow up.

So some of mine are, I do, even if I'm, I come home drunk, four or five a.m. I'll do my entire skincare routine, like every step. There was a meme that was just like watch out for those women. I can, I like masturbate to my own, my own memories, my own fantasies. I don't need to like watch porn or anything. I found out this morning. I'm a really good. I found out this morning. I'm really good at maneuvering a luggage cart. Like I can really drive it. Like I can turn corners. Like I can do like a three point turn. Like I had all this stuff on a luggage cart to bring up. I got all these packages and stuff. And I'm just like,

I'm crushing it down this hallway. So I can drop a luggage cart. Yeah, I mean, those are kind of my mate. I forget if we were recording when we were talking about doing it. Were we recording when we were talking about doing this? And Ashley was like, I just have so many superpowers. Like, that'll just be the whole episode. Well, we want to read you our listeners. I want to hear what yours, what your superpower is. And then I'll tell you guys what mine is.

Oh, you're, okay. And we're just going to you laugh. We're going to read our listeners. Sweet. Yeah, mine. What are some random ones? I've discovered recently that I can hold my breath for a long time and I've discovered this in my elevator because I'm weird. I like to see if I could hold it all the way up and even when people are getting in and out and sometimes that could be like two, three minutes. So I've been

doing that. I'm in like the corner like, anyway. Oh my God. Do you like to be choked? I've never passed out doing it. Do you guys like to be choked? I mean, everybody's a different wonderland of sexuality. I've never met a man that was like, some girl said that, which again, guys, please be safe, but she said, I can hold my breath. That's my superpower, so it's great for being choked. I'm like, I don't think you get choking. We're not supposed to be out here being choked. A light choke. You're not supposed to feel like you're going to die. I decide, okay, so I have a superpower. I have two. I don't really know you,

so I'm not going to look you in the face when I say this. Oh, God. But my super power is breakfast and blowjobs. Okay. Those are my superpowers. I feel like I'm a great catch because of it. I'm good at both of those I give really good blow jobs and I cook breakfast really well. Okay. Superpowers. Go off. Queen. Flex, love that.

Those are my superpower. Some people were like really heartwarming, like beautiful ones and I'm just like, I suck dick well. Do you want to start? So really quickly, we just, I wanted to rattle off ones that we got overwhelmingly. So being able to fall asleep anywhere, any time, nap queens, so much blowjob skills, so much no gag reflex. People said, Joe made to conclusions, getting guys to fall in love with me.

uncanny ability to find unavailable men. So many of girls saying they were like, good luck Chuck, foster girlfriends, which I am too. If you were like, I'm coming for Ashley's title, I love foster girlfriend that we've all seen that meme, which is you know, you're the person someone dates before they find their forever home. And intuition, always being right,

eating a full pizza in one sitting. We had a lot of just a great sweet things about like moms and teachers, like getting a full room of kids to pay attention, remembering 500 names of my kids, and then sweet ones making people feel valued. Internet stocking, obviously I'm a pro with that too. you weren't two, and then like remembering names and birthdays and stuff like that. So those were kind of the standards that we got a lot.

And now we're going to run through some. I like this first one because I can hear her saying it. Being able to get really wet. And all guys comment on it, even though I can't really control it. They're always like, wow, you're so wet. And I'm like, thanks. I try really hard. Oh, my God.

And there was another one from another girl. Being able to give my boyfriend a full shower with my fire hydrant pussy. These girls are out here. So many you were like, I can just get really wet. It's like, okay, go off. I have not seen these at all. Actually, I'm underrated, but hand jobs.

Honestly, I don't hate this. I think it's nice to like kind of wake somebody up with like a hand job and then you can start blowing them. It's a whole thing. Also, a lot of these are just like talents and skills. Like I feel like superpower is like innate. Like you know what I mean? Like you can always practice a hand job and be good at it.

Oh, that's true. I don't know though. Listen, hand jobs I think are hard because it's hard to do something to another person that they could do better, right? Yeah. To themselves. So being able to do it really well. Have you ever had anybody to give you a really good hand job besides you since middle school?

I mean, I would say hand jobs are underrated. Oh. So, yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of guys would agree with that. Like, low key. I think if you surveyed more men, you get that answer. So you're into it.

Okay. This one is great. Owning Trump cult members with facts. I love that. That's a superpower. That's a flex. If you can really shut somebody down without getting, like, just sticking straight to the facts without getting to emotional and stuff like that, full superpower,

by respect it. This one goes out to me. I grow my own veggies and make my own broth. I guess you can call me Superwoman and she spelled it soup, S-O-U-P. Superwoman. I'm a huge fan of soup.

Oh yeah, I saw your stories. Go off with it. Thank you for watching. You're welcome. Okay. Roasting men, just putting them on blast, all gas, no breaks.

Just all gas. Is that really what you want to leave with? She wrote all gas, no breaks. Just relentless. All right. This is not, this is going to be a tonal shift. Beating cancer and coming back to life after I died during surgery. That is such a fucking flex.

Yeah. I died and came back to life. It's incredible. Like, you use that forever. Like, if you're dating some shitty guy, you're like, I didn't die and come back to life for this. You know what I mean? Like you're like, I didn't know.

Like your bar is so high if you died and came back to life. Good for you. We're glad that you're okay. She can predict dick size and. relative stamina with 97% accuracy. BDE doesn't lie. We got a few of those. Wow. I love that for these girls.

Like, I think people are really good at that. I think I'm pretty decent. I'm a good, like, decent predictor, but like, you know, some girls can just be like, I know what, I know what his dick is, just by looking at him. I've been seeing a lot of dicks and sweatpants lately. I saw one. It's dick outline season. There's a couple people who have been on this podcast and have worn sweatpants recently,

and I've seen their dicks. Hey, so you wear some of my pants? Almost exclusively, yes. All right. Stand up. Let's say. Well, now right. These are my jeans.

But I, All right. Well, take them off. You're podcasting in jeans? That's such a flex. Yeah. I like to hang out in my living room and my jeans. It's weird.

I wear jeans one. Wait, do you really? Yeah, yeah. It's a sign of a cycle. He could like nap in jeans. Wait, we just said that. We saw somebody on a hike in jeans and we were like, that's a serial killer. I like my jeans.

What jeans are people wearing that aren't comfortable? Like, these are great. All jeans, all females. All females. every pair of jeans. This is no, no shade, but like, I do think it's insane.

Like, to hang out in jeans is insane to me. I know it's weird. I know it's weird. But I, no, I dated a guy that like, he naps in jeans.

This is, he never's not wearing jeans. I dated this girl for a while and she made fun of me because I called, she called them my sleeping jeans in that like, I would like be full, like, it's gonna sound like I'm Amish. Like,

I don't sleep in my clothes, obviously, but like, I would just, I would, I would wear my jeans until the very last minute when I didn't have to wear them anymore. I just like my jeans. I mean, I think all people wear clothing until the very last minute.

Until they get naked. Who else is out here? Not doing that. No, no one loves ripped jeans and vans more than you. Yeah, that's a vibe. Wow, squirting buckets. Squirting like a fire hose. Those are two different ones, but a lot of squirting.

Honestly, I'm jealous. I don't want to do it all the time, but I want to do it once. Our listeners know that I, I, Wikipedia, I wiki howled to squirt and I tried. I have tried pretty hard. There's guys who are like, oh, I made so many girls squirt for the first time. I'm not one of them. I just can't do it.

I'm not squirting buckets. And honestly, my sheets thank me. Yeah. It's dry in my house. Yeah. There's no cleanup after I masturbate. I can just like, I can just flick it and go to sleep. Yeah.

The fact that there was so much about getting wet and squirting on this is just like, it has been the year of the Wop. It truly has. The best thing that happened in 2020 was Joe Bony and Winning the presidency and Wop coming out. Don't at me. I saw a meme the other day that said like, we're not ready for Wop in the club. Did you see that meme? I saw that. Yeah. I, we are not. Like, it's almost like it would be what would happen? What would happen? I feel like I would have like an out of body experience. I feel like people would be like, who is she? What is happening right now? Like Rana doesn't even like

really, she doesn't dance that much. But I feel like if we were in a club scenario and Wop came on, you would just lose your goddamn mind. You don't go to the club with me that often. I dance. I dance. I I dance. I dance. Okay. And the last one is glowing up after a breakup. I just keep getting better. Thank you next. Go off, girl. Love that. Flex. I mean, there's no better time to just to glow up. I mean, women do a great job. Men just stay the same. Every guy I've ever dated has glowed down after we broke up every single one. A hundred percent of them. Yeah. At least, how do you feel about that? I don't know. I mean, I think for me, I maybe I'm the exception. But I think, yeah, I mean, it's definitely more noticeable in women for sure. I've seen women get out of. Because you live in the gym. Do you do anything besides workout and talk about feelings?

No, that's it. That's all you need to know. Well, I don't take offense to that. It's true. No, it's true. It's great.

Do you do anything for workout and talk about feelings? I think that's a flex. I found him and invited him on the podcast. Oh, he likes to be roasted though. That's his pink. No, it's definitely. Well,

this has been so wonderful. Thank you for joining us. Yeah, thank you. You guys are so much fun. Yeah, we love to having you. We know that everybody's going to want to find you, find your books, find your podcast, find your Instagram.

So tell everybody all the places they can find you. Sure. Yeah, I appreciate it. Yeah. The podcast is New Mindset Who Dis. It's everywhere. Obviously, the book, single is your superpower. You can get that a new mindset who does.com.

And then I'm case. Dot, Kenny, on Instagram. And I love chatting with people. So if you want to DM me, go for it. I don't know if I should say that. But it's always an open. It's an open invite until it isn't anymore. So I'll just have that it.

All right. Okay. Well, you have a great Instagram. You ask for it. People are definitely going to slide in and talk to you. Your Instagram's awesome, so I think they're going to like it. Thank you. It is just your feelings and you're working out.

Yeah. So you nailed it. I think that's hilarious. That's accurate. That's your brand. Could that be your bio? All I do is work out and talk about feeling. I was actually thinking about updating my bio earlier.

I might do that. That's the name of his next book. That's what's Netflix special is called workout selfies and journaling. Why are we doing this? Case, thank you so much for joining us. Okay, guys, and you know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com.

Hit the website for merch and tickets to our live show in December 13th, the virtual live show. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast and Instagram, Ash Hess, reina. at greenberg on Instagram and Girls underscore GottoEat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash Girls Got to Eat. And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.