Girls Gotta Eat - Dodged That Bullet

Episode Date: February 17, 2020

It's our TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EPISODE **air horn** and we're sharing some never-before-told stories and details about guys we dated/almost dated over the last two years and the hilarious reasons we'll never forget them. We're also catching up on the surprise BDSM activity Ashley experienced on a date, Rayna not fucking her fuck buddy, and we're reading some of our favorite Is This Weird, Psycho or Power Move, and That Took a Turn submissions of all time. We hope you enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Rothy's: Go to rothys.com/gge to get free shipping. The Real Real: Sign up for an account for $25 off your first purchase w/in 1 week + 20% off select items at therealreal.com with code REAL. Daily Harvest: Get 25% off your first box at dailyharvest.com with code GGE. Ritual: Get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got to be his emotional sounding board and listen to him talk about all this stuff. And then somebody else gets his time and his dick and his money. Right. Well, he doesn't have money, but... Welcome back to a two-year anniversary episode of Girls Gotta Eat. I scared Ashley. It's two years, two years strong. I got a little choked up.

I'm sorry, scared you. It just got really loud. I just turned down your levels over here. Sorry, guys. But yeah, two years in the make. Girls Gotta Eat. Valentine's Day Week-ish. We started this in 2018, so we have a really fun episode on the way. We made it. All of us together. Cloudy and Rainier. We're recording this on Galentine's Day, the 13th, just a few days ago. So we hope you guys are a great Galentine's Day. And we're going to have some fun. Yeah, I'm excited about this one. Lots of laughs ahead. Anyways, that was cheesy. I'm never going to say that again.

So if you're listening to this on the 17th, we're in L.A. Had a show last night on the way to Australia. But of course we're recording this right before we head out. Yeah. So last chance to get tickets for Australia, guys. It's going to be so amazing. I can't wait. We're flying across the world just to be with you.

I can't believe it. It's such a dream. Yeah. So just a few tickets left for Sydney and Melbourne, I think. at least as of this point at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com or I literally don't care shows.com. And then we still have tickets available in Dallas, Houston,

maybe Tampa, Miami, Philly Night 2. There's a few left and there should be tickets still left in San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Vancouver. And I think that's it. That's it. Yeah, but they're all really close. The affiliate, there's like five left. Yeah, Philly might not even be.

That Tampa night too, might not. They're all going like really quick, almost at capacity. So get those tickets. I literally don't care. Shows.com. We'll see you for a while. We're so excited, guys. What are we talking about today?

We hope you guys had a good Valentine's Day. Yes. Ashley's going to have a good Valentine's time. Well, we're recording this on the 13th. I do have a valentine. Valentine. It's not me. No, I have a date. Is that all you want to say about it? I'm a day. Probably a sleepover, you know. It's so exciting. I can't believe that you're not my Valentine this year. Sorry. I've been saying forever, this is our third Valentine's day together, but it's not now. Look, we're flying. We'll be in a plane together.

Whoever I'm on that plane with will be my Valentine. Yeah. I want to see you row 34, middle seat, making out with somebody. We land in San Diego and you're like, I'm so drunk. I have to tell you something. I have a boyfriend. Listen, it's not how I roll. I never take a middle seat. I always take the windows seat. I need to fly the plane. Oh, right. You have to monitor the plane. We have a great episode for you guys today. We're actually going to like recap some funny stories from the last couple years. I mean, you guys know how appreciative we all are of you and we love you. And we don't need to recap exactly how we started. We talk about it all the time. So we're very happy you're here. We love you guys. We're appreciative of every email, every live show, every

We DM, every tweet, everything. We just, we love you guys so much. We say it a lot. You changed our lives. Thank you so much. Yes. We talk about you guys all the time. Most of you.

Some of you are the worst, but I'm kidding. I literally don't care at all. No. That's very, but I mean, the ones that you guys appreciate us, we appreciate you back. And so thanks for tuning in for two years. Or if you're new here, welcome. Yeah. Thanks for being here.

Thanks to everybody who reposted our billboard this week. Yeah, the billboard is great. Don't be fooled by the billboards we got. Okay, I have to tell you this story. I'm excited. I haven't even like hinted to do what this is about. Nothing. So this past week I was out with some friends and also this guy that I've been hanging out with.

So he came out and met me and some of my friend. Aaron was in town from Atlanta. And so we all went out and we ended up at this bar called Whiskey Tavern and Chinatown, which is just like kind of a divey bar, but they're known. They have like flaming dildos and stuff like crazy shots. Like it can get a little lit. but it's like we were there on a Monday night. Yeah.

So we're there at a Monday night. And there was like a kind of a crazy bartender. He had a microphone. He was just like really hyping the five people in this bar. And so he just turns the music off at one point and is like, can I get everyone's attention? And my friend Stella was out with us. And he goes, Stella here has just informed me that it's her lifelong dream to take a body shot off of me. And we're like, what?

And I look, Herbert Stella, like, are you, did you, girl, it's a Monday. And he proceeds to take a shirt off, laid out of the bar, bring out a bottle of Jameson, put whipped cream and cherries on his own body, on his own body. And Stella isn't standing there like, I don't, didn't ask for this. He puts whipped cream in a cherry on each of his nipples. He's been here before. He's been here before. He pours Jameson into his belly phone.

His own belly button. Do you want, DIY body shots? You don't even know what's about to happen. And he, Stella just, like, took it. Like, it sounded like a little, like, like, like, it was like, she did do it.

Ew. That wasn't enough for him because I have to handle off the bar and threw hot wax all over its own body. Through hot, white at the box. You were at, like, a regular bar on a Monday. This guy's a BDSM to himself. to throw hot wax on your own body.

Like, it happened so quick. And I saw it in the guy that I'm with, like, we are just stay there. We're like canoodily at the bar. And he goes, what the fuck? We started hysterically laughing. And he said the funniest thing. He goes, he did that for him. Cherries on his own nipples.

I like remember the visual. And while he's pouring hot wax on his own body, he's dressed up like varsity blues. Oh, my God. And then, oh, my God. We obviously came back here and whatever, you know, one thing, let's another. And like, you recreated it. Throughout, we recreated the entire thing.

We picked up some Jamison. No. We just kept laughing about the whole night. Like, we were like, just laying here hysterically laughing. It was like such a special moment to share with somebody. I've never been so jealous. Not even like body wax. It was like from just a candle.

That must have been so painful. I'd never heard of this before. somebody like doing like self BDSM. He doesn't even need you to be there for it. And the next day I texted Stella and she was like, I gotta be clear that I didn't want that. Anyway, did you have a story? That can top that?

I'm so glad you laugh. What? Because I was like, it's so excited to tell you. I just love New York so much. I'm never leaving. I love Pittsburgh. It's like my home forever.

but that's not happening a paper. Wait, I love that you said, this wasn't at the box. This was like a sidebar. I mean, you're one of the boxers, there's like double-sided dildo shows, but this is just like at a die bar on a Monday. I think his name was dash.

Go to this bar tonight. My plans are canceled. All I care about is dash. Dash is all there is. This is my two-year anniversary gift. Dash is your Valentine. Oh, my year anniversary gift. I know it's hard to like not tell each other stuff.

Yeah. Like that's why we always tell you guys that, I come over here at 1. It's 4 o'clock. We just, we have to talk shit for three hours before we can start doing any work. Oh, my God, I don't have a story. God damn it. I should have led with my story.

I had a really good night that night, actually. Mateo Lane, who's a former guest of ours, actually, like, almost one year ago, exactly. Oh, yeah. He came over and cooked me dinner. Topless. Yeah, he took his clothes off. No candle wax, though. You know, it's weird.

I was thinking, like, what was absent from that evening. It was BDSM. Him throwing hot wax on himself. Yeah, he came over, he took his clothes off and he cooked me dinner. Oh, you're so lucky. I know. I was so glad that he didn't come so he could just be alone. And he spoke Italian to me and it was amazing.

What the fuck? I feel like this is an experience people would pay for. I would pay for it. He went to Evali and went shopping, came over, cooked me pasta. He wanted nothing in return. He didn't want alcohol or money. Well, he doesn't drink or fuck girls. So there's nothing you could offer him.

He literally wanted nothing. Here's what I'm going to give him. He is going on tour right now. He's going to all these cities. I know that he specifically really wants to sell out Denver Comedy Works, which is one of our favorite venues. We had so much fun there. So if you guys live there, go see Mateo, check out his live schedule.

That's it. He's an icon. He's like, we don't promote people that we don't think are incredible. Like, he is incredible. Really? He is one of the most talented people I've ever met in my entire life. And if you have a chance to go see him at Denver Comedy Works,

is it downtown? It's the downtown one of the best clubs we've ever performed. It's the coolest fucking thing. Like to see him there is so cool. I know he's doing Atlanta in the Laughing School Lounge, which is where I first started doing comedy. Four shows. But I don't,

they are probably sold out. That's a small room. But I mean, Atlanta, of course, you guys know I always want to tell you stuff to do in Atlanta. That's one of my favorite clubs. But yeah,

just check his tour schedule if it's anywhere that you guys are close to because to see him is such a treat. He's a comedian. He sings. He dances. He does impressions. He's doing lives of an alley and share.

Am I living around the other night? I know. What a treat. But even if he wasn't funny, you just could look at him. But he is. Like, he's just fun to look at. He's the most beautiful man in the world.

So that's my, that's my gift to him. And he's so nice. Like, if you get the chance to meet him, if you meet him after, do you meet and greet or whatever. I don't know if he does that. But like, you know, a lot of the smaller shows,

you just get to mix and mingle after. Like, he's just so genuinely wonderful. And if you tell him, like, your girl's got a eat fan, he'd love it. And I just, I adore him. If you guys, if you guys came to our show

at the Bell House or in Brooklyn or in Vancouver for JFL, he was part of our shows. Yeah. So that's who he is. He's amazing. Go see him. That's my dad.

I paid for dinner. After Mateo left. Oh, after Retail left, the late shift. Is this where the wax comes in? Come on, Raina. No, it was just awkwardness and guitar play. My neighbor came over after Mateo left. I cannot believe this.

I mean, Matteo left at nine. And I was like, what am I going to do now? So I, like, told my neighbor he could come over because he asked me, like, go see a a concert with him on Tuesday or on Saturday, which I did not want to do. I'm not like asking you out. you couldn't be less interested. I just don't think we're like a match. Right.

You don't vibe. Yeah, he's a perfectly nice person. We're just not in love with each other. And I'm like, why do you want to hang out with me? You don't even like me. But maybe he does. I don't know. So he came down and it was, I laid on the couch and he played guitar for me.

And that's it. You guys made out right. Yeah. I didn't like, fuck. I was tired. Yeah, I know. I just couldn't be bothered. It's not personal.

Yeah. But I did is he left, he left his wallet and his phone. in my apartment. Should I tell you this? He left it in my apartment and I was like, what? So I like, he was like, classic leave behind. Right, a classic leave behind it. He was trying to like hook up and I was like, I'm like way too tired for this. And I don't enjoy it.

He doesn't like it either. He doesn't like me either. I even asked for my phone number for the first 12 months we do each other. But I, he left his wallet and his phone in my apartment. So I went upstairs to bring it to him and I knocked on the door for like a full two and a half minutes. Just like kept pounding on the door. I think he was jerking off. I hope he was jerking off. Oh, totally.

But you know what I would have like... Oh, my God. You know what it would have like really turned me on is he opened up the door and was like, I was just jerking off to you. Then I would have fucked him. 100% that would have been so hot. Can you imagine you were just banging the door? He's like, I'm coming.

If somebody had like opened the door with like a fully hard dick who I was just making out with who I've slept with a lot, like, yeah, I'm going to fuck you. And said they were jerking off to you. I think that anyone would. I think the nicest compliment someone could give me is that they jerk off to me. 100%. I don't care about anything else. I know.

Guys, if you're listening. I want to hear. Yes, literally. Don't DM me that you jerk off to me. But like, I don't want to see. I just want to hear it. I don't want to see photos or anything. I just want to know, you know, use your words.

No visuals needed. No, I mean, I'll visualize it myself. I mean, it's consensual. I'm not saying like creepy style. Oh, God, no. But yeah, if you're dating or if you're fucking. Yeah. If he just grabbed me and like slam me to a wall or something.

Well, he's never going to do that. He's never going to do that. He asked me to hang out last night. I just couldn't. You have a Valentine or you have a. We might hang out later. Undecided. Depends it all lately.

Emily stays in my house. Oh, my God. All right. Well, those are our catch-up stories. I think that's pretty good. I think that's pretty much it. We'll update you guys on the LA shows next week and the intro and everything. Yeah, we have the show, since the show was last night, I can say it now that we had the L.A. Rams cheerleaders.

You really are just hitting it out of the park with these dancers. So I'm sure they were incredible. But we'll recap more. It's weird to talk about it. Like it happened before. But yeah, next week and then next week we have Matthew Hussey. This is a long time coming. I've been bugging them for a year.

Yeah. So the episode next week is going to be hot fire. And if you guys missed our bonus episode, we love it so much. This came out on last Thursday. And it's about what we were like in our 20s and the lessons we learned through college and through our 20s and the advice we would give our younger selves. And there's a lot of funny stuff in it. So it's one of my favorite episodes we've ever done.

It was just like peak us. It's a lot of masturbation stuff. It's a lot of blowjob stuff. we talked about drugs. It's peak me for sure. I just, I love these episodes with just us. I think that they're always fun.

Two back to back. So, yeah, I thought that like, I thought you're here too. We thought that we would recap some really funny dating stories and give you guys like a full background. And we do a lot of stuff with the live shows on stage, but we're going to kind of retire some of these stories from the live shows.

And so we'll give you guys. The true story is this first one that we're going to kick off with. I don't think we ever talked about it. And this was, it started to happen right when we like started the podcast. So crazy. Never talked about it. I know.

It's one of the craziest like, it's all like weird male behavior. That's what we'll talk about. Hopefully it'll be like a takeaway from every story and you guys will get a good laugh. And that's what we're hoping for with these stories. Yeah. So this was a situation. I'm going to try to just kind of keep it as anonymous as possible and also try to

summarize as much as possible. There was this guy. I kind of knew him from Delaware, but we were, we had reconnected. I talked about it in the very first episode we ever did. because the episode was called, it goes down on the DMs.

I connected with him via DM. I reached out to him. We start talking all the time, really vived, really flirty, like right at the beginning of 2018. And so, you know, we were DMing and we would text and stuff like that. And then he's kind of in a similar fields.

We had a couple of phone calls and stuff. I was like really into it. I was like, this is a guy that I'm very much interested in. And then he came to New York on Valentine's Day of 2018 and we went to drinks and come to find out later that he was here.

because he was dating someone here. And his behavior was weird. Like he was just like non-committal. And it was like his behavior was a little odd about his plan. It was a Thursday night. We went for drinks. Again, we didn't kiss or anything. Like I didn't cheat on his girlfriend with me.

But like I think she was working in some later in the night type of job. And he was like waiting for her. I mean, I didn't know this at the time. But it hung out with me. And then he didn't hear from him the rest of the weekend. And it was so odd. It was so odd. So then I was kind of thought that was weird.

And then he reached back out to me. hear the podcast because then days after the podcast launched, I talked about how I'd slid into his DMs. I think that's kind of what got us like talking to it. Bottom line, I was still talking to him. We had reconnected. I was talking to him even through March. And then we were talking all the time. All through Paris, remember?

Do I remember? Yeah, you wouldn't talk to me. I was talking to me after we were there. You were texting with him. I was like so into this guy. And somewhere along the lines, maybe we got back from Paris. This is late March, early April, whatever. I finally felt like I was getting way mixed signals from him. So I called him out on it. Not called him out, but like I said in a nice way.

I said straight up, like, I'm getting mixed signals from you. And because he was starting to say like very flirty stuff and then he would pull back, whatever. Where he lived, again, I'm not going to say it when I keep this as an honest as possible. I was going there in like a month for a friend's birthday. So I was hoping to see him. Whatever. I said, I'm getting mixed signals from you. And he immediately started writing.

He was basically like, I'm really attracted to you. I'm going to just read the text. I'm really attracted to you. And he referenced a Thirstrap I posted recently. It was one of the few bikini picks on my, on my Instagram. and I'm even more so attracted to your personality, your ambition, your intelligence, and your wit. If I send mixed signals, I'm not aware of it. But now that you call it out, I can definitely see it.

Blah, blah, blah. Once I go back and forth with dating someone in New York, he used to live here, but he didn't live here anymore. I overthink it, blah, blah, blah. But then I do really like you. I'm second guessing myself, all this kind of stuff. And then I was like, he was like, I do really like you. And I was like, well, I like you too. And he was like, can we go to dinner when you're here where I live in a month? He knew I was coming there.

Can you remind me of the time frame? This is April. I didn't know that he had broken up with that girl at that point. You never knew about that girl. Like I kind of pieced it together that he had been dating someone in New York because he said I was dating someone in New York and that's why I was there. I'm like, you're a scumbag. Okay.

I couldn't remember the time frame. Yeah. So this is like April. I was going to the city where he lived in May. So he was like, can we go to dinner? And then he was like also like let's like try to do this. He was like, I want to FaceTime more often instead of just texting. Like I was like, oh my God.

Okay. This guy just like validated our. feelings for each other. We're going to start FaceTiming. We're going to see each other in a month and like really see what's going on here. That was a Thursday night. My favorite story, guys. Thursday night.

Friday goes, I'm thinking it's on. We're going to FaceTime tomorrow. We're going to talk through the weekend. We're dating. I'm so excited about this. Getting engaged in 2018. Friday goes by, Saturday goes by, Sunday goes by, Sunday goes by, Tuesday. I'm like, oh, what the fuck? Five days. No text. Nothing. Nothing.

Of course, watching my Instagram stories, obviously. That's part of the story. So I have to make a note. Of course, he was watching all my stories. I texted him. I still have this 848 on that Tuesday. So I hate to tell you this, but I think your phone was hacked last Thursday night.

Like what? And I remember we like mauled over like when to say something, how to say something and landed on like, make it silly, make it funny. Yeah. But make it direct. Yeah. And I'm going to,

I'll change his job too. I'm going to, again, like people, people know who those guys. I had to tell you this. I think your phone was hacked Thursday night. I mean, he was typing. the second I hit send. It's like he knew this was coming. He goes, very funny. Definitely me. I'm drowning at work and second guessing all my life choices that led to me being an accountant instead

of bartending in Costa Rica, want to help me pick out bad decisions for my midlife crisis. I'm torn between a motorcycle and a French bulldog. What? And I just... It's my favorite text message of all time. Like, it's literally like the meme that's like, I'm just really busy right now with having to get gas every week and my sister's goldfish is sick and I just can't really commit to this right now. Like it's so... It's my great-dance birthday, but if you want to fuck when you're in town, we can. Right. And I just wrote... I would that immediately I was like I'm done with this all the months of liking this guy and I in that moment I was like I don't want it and I this guy and I responded well I'm glad you still have time to

watch all my Instagram stories why don't you just hit me up if when you ever figure it out and that was it and I he reached out to me I've told you that was it he reached out to me maybe like two more times when I don't know I think once he was like are you in Delaware or something whatever and I just ignored it I don't want any part of that I mean it just was like so crazy. Like, whatever this guy is going on, I don't want a part of it. Sounds like just he's kind of a mess and he's going through midlife crisis. If a guy tells you that, run as far as you can. It's not your job to save somebody and help them with this. And like, I was so wildly turned off that I like, months of crushing on this guy thinking we were maybe going to be a thing.

And I just like threw it away and never thought about it again. I'm glad you did. I think that's the right thing to do. And I don't think that like, I think it's hard to separate your feelings from reality. Your feelings are, like this person is great. And he's great. And he said all these things. He clearly likes me. He wants to be with me. How does these great interactions. No, he hit me with you with this like total bullshit,

which like reneged on all these things he said five days ago. Run. Yeah. Don't try to change this person. Don't try to lean into it. Don't make a joke about it. Don't pick out the motorcycle or the goldfish he's going to buy. Fuck that person.

Yeah, no. And the funny thing about it was, this is kind of like an insider thing. I don't know if we ever discussed this. We recorded with Jared Fried shortly after this. and we actually, like, the audio got all fucked up, and we had to record with him again. He was so wonderful that he came back.

It was like our old studio messed our audio up. He had to come back in. But the first one, we talked about this, and then we didn't address it for the second one. I read him all this text, and he was like, first of all, everything you said was perfect. And he was like, Thursday. And he was like, he referenced that pick.

He was like, you posted that pick on Thursday. That was like a TBT bikini pick, wasn't it? And I was like, yeah. And he goes, well, it was the bikini pick that made him write all that. I was like, what? Well, you know, like, you now have. I feel about Jared. He's my lord and savior and everything he says is right. But it was funny that he, like, I don't think that was why. Like, he said a lot of things about, but it could have been

that he was like, damn, she looks, I think that's how guys work. He's like, damn, she looks hot. I'm going to confess my love. And then reality hit him. And he was like, I'm just really going through a midlife crisis right now. And I have to do, do, do, do. And I'm sick. Guys, the moral of the story is post more bikini picks. No. Those thirst trap them to death until they're in prison. The moral of the story is always wear a turtleneck. You don't let this happen. Yeah, then you'll never have a boring. Are we both in Army? Yeah, we're both wearing alternative apparel camo. What else is new?

We look great. That was so funny. It's my favorite text of all time that I've ever heard of me. It's because the text you got on Thursday is a dream text message. I think every girl in the world is like, I would die to have that text message. It's honest. It's open. It's committal.

Yes. And then he sent the world's shittiest follow-up of all time ever. It's like every day for those five, six days he like made up a new. excuse, put them all into one text. I know. It's insane. But yeah, it was just like, I remember the feeling of that Thursday night and being like, sank, you know, that feeling where you like somebody and they basically tell you, I like you back, let's do this. I mean, cloud nine. And then it just like, then I started to be like, huh, you never know, you never know if someone was drinking at all. You know, that was in the evening. Like, I felt like I felt it the next Friday. I was like, oh,

I figured I would hear from him today. No. Saturday, no. Sunday, no. Monday, no. But then I was like, well, fuck him, but I still at least needed that response. And then what I got back was gold. I mean, we've been thriving on this for years. I just think we talk about him a lot. Like, we drag men, like in our daily conversations, like when this shit happens. Like, we reference him all the time. He's one of our favorites.

He's my favorite. Like, he's my favorite text message of all time. And I think maybe a younger me, a less experience, me two years ago at the beginning of this podcast would have made a joke about what he said or would have like followed up with some kind of like witty quip. And I think like today I've just learned that there's no point leaning into that. Like that is unacceptable behavior. You don't get to treat me like that.

Like I'm just not doing this. Yeah. And then like I'm having a midlife crisis. Do you want to help me? What? I want to run as far away as I can from you. Figure your shit out. I want nothing to do with this.

What do you have hypothesized he thought your reaction was going to be? Do you think that he thought that you would take it lighter? Like I'm trying to think like he was trying to back out of the seriousness. Maybe or like he thought to himself like, Like, yeah, back out of the seriousness. But like, I'm assuming he wanted some kind of positive reaction from you. Like, what person would react positively to that? Like, what did he think your reaction was going to be?

Like, oh, that's so, he's so witty. He's so broken. Ew. Right. Some women are like, oh, my God, that was so brave. Yeah, like, this is a, this is a man that's in his mid-30s. Yeah. Probably teetering even.

Towards closer to the, no, no, I mean, closer to the mid-dum. upper. So I just want to be clear. This wasn't like a 28 year old guy. Yeah. I mean, let's talk to. He was obviously too old for me anyway. Because he's out of high school. I mean, fuck this guy. Okay. Fuck all this dumb shit. If you can buy alcohol, you're enough for me. Once you can vote, Ashley's out. Let's drag another man. No, I hate to be out here. Like, I had to post in our Facebook recently. Like, we're not out here, like, trying to drag people. But that means like publicly. And that's the thing. Like, think there's a difference between like outing people saying their names. Like I try so hard to

change cities, jobs, everything. Like the last thing I ever want is that somebody knows who this person. I really don't want that. I really don't even want anybody to even have like an inkling of who this person is and ever DM them or whatever. It's never our intention with anybody we talk about really. No. Sometimes it just you're going to know and that is what it is. Well, I also think that we tell these stories, whatever. First of all, if you don't want me to talk about you, don't fucking do the behavior. But on top of that, I don't, I think that most these stories are told, hopefully with an angle of here's the takeaway. Here's what I...

I mean, a lot of times I think I tell stories. I'm like, here's what I did wrong. And here's what I would have done better. And I think since day one of the podcast, that's always been my goal. 100%. We have never said since day one, we are the foremost experts on dating and relationships.

Clearly, I'm not. But I think it's just like, here's what I did. Here's what I would have done differently. Here's a funny fucking story. And I hope it brightens your day up. But we, I don't know. I mean, I think some people don't care.

People that in podcasting are people in radio. forever are, and I, reckless. Reckless. And we take so much care. Like I told a story one time on my ex and I treaded so carefully. I made it so anonymous that like if it could be about anybody I've dated, you know, like the point is always to just to use the stories to illustrate a topic and really not how people know who these people are. Right.

I can't, you know, can't stress it or not. There's no stories we tell I think would ruin anybody's life. The story I'm going to tell now is just a funny story. of course not. No, I just, I wanted to say that. I mean, it's our anniversary episode. We can talk about whatever the fuck we want. I want to make it known. That's our, that's our goal always. We are very thoughtful about the way we talk about people, I think. I've heard people on, like, radio shows and podcasts just like straight up drop names. And I'm like, you are reckless. Names. First, name, second. Like, it's just, whof. The only person I talk about my name is Chris DeFidone. He likes it.

Yeah. I can't get enough of it. I just thought this is like a funny little anecdote because we never talked about the whole time frame what happened with this guy. that guy that I dated all summer, who, like, told me he, like, wasn't sure about us being together. And then, like, I wrote him. Six weeks before he basically told me he, like, felt like this was going nowhere. He wrote me a four-page single-spaced letter that was, like, you're amazing. Let's figure out how to do this.

He PDFed it. It was wild. He attached a PDF to an email. I can't even. I will never forget it. It was not a long email. It was a PDF document, attachment, shook. I was like, holy shit, am I this good in bed?

It was crazy. I know. And this is the, if you guys listen to you're not the one. I just want to. Yeah, that's who that episode was about. But like, yeah, we spent like a week together four or five days. And like he got on the plane and wrote me this email. You and are sitting at the pool with a bunch of friends.

And we were like, I can't believe this. And everybody was like, what is happening? I mean, it wasn't crazy? Yeah, it really actually wasn't. I was nervous, of course I read it. I was nervous to read it because I was like, thought I get, you know, I thought it was going to be a little cringy. And it was it.

No, it was really nice. It was really nice. It wasn't like, I love you. Like it was, that would have been weird. You guys didn't know each other that well. But yeah, but it was still four pages, single space PDF. I was reading theater. I was like, I can't believe this.

Like, in preparation for this episode, I don't read it before bad or anything. Definitely not. But it was. It was a lot. It was like, I want to make this work. You're like the most special person. You're amazing. I think when you find good people, you hold on to them.

All this stuff. I was like, well, this guy's like really into me. I could basically be as crazy as I want to. Little did you know. And then six weeks later, he was just like, I don't really know like where you think this is going.

And I mean, it was an immediate, like we do episodes about like being blindsided. This was, when he started saying this stuff, I was speechless. I couldn't even make words come into my mouth because I was like,

this is coming from a person who just sent me this email six weeks ago. Right. And you guys had seen each other, you know, there was stuff that happened in between those points. Not that, not anything bad,

but I'm just saying you guys had seen each other and stuff like that. Yeah, for sure. So what I did was I responded to that email with the breakup email. I, it is truly one of the most savage things. It's like one of those things you think you,

like, joke that you're going to do. And then she fucking did it. it. Like, so just to, I want to back up. So the, the four-page PDF email, you never really responded to that. You guys just talked about it. Like, he was basically like, you guys probably texted, you talked to the phone. You know what I didn't respond to? That email had not been responded to. Right. But it was not in a bad way. It was acknowledged you guys were talking to the phone every night. It didn't need to be. He sent you this love letter. You guys probably talked about it more in a different format. So this email had not been responded to. Ever. Ever.

Until six weeks later, when you send him a breakup email. I'm so dead. I've never. what the subject line of the email was. For Raina. No, it was his, it said his name and Raina. Oh, that's right. So, like, it's our love story. It's the start and the end of our love story. When you

told me that, I was like, this is the most savage bitch. I like, high-fived you. I didn't know, like, I was like, well, there's already an email chain started between us, so I'm just going to finish it. No. I was doing it to be savage. I was just like, is this weird? I just did it. Whatever.

It just, you know, I feel like girls talk lot about being blindsided. And this like really happens to everybody. Like I look back and like I wouldn't have done anything differently. Like I wouldn't have changed things. I didn't do anything wrong. This person told me he like had feelings for me, wanted to be with me. I just like acted on the thoughts in that email and acted accordingly. And like that's on him that he like woke up and was like, I don't want to do this. You know, I don't think I did anything wrong and I wouldn't take anything back. I wouldn't change anything. Yeah, I don't think so either. I think that, um, I mean, you know, we, Rain and I know all the details of each other's.

lives and loved lives and everything and we have our own thoughts on things. Looking back, like, not to get too deep with it, I think that you somehow showed him something about himself. Like, I noticed after you guys, like, ended your relationship, he went on this big trip to kind of, like, find himself. Like, I think you inspired him in some way. Like, you're older than him, obviously. I think that your level of, like, success and knowledge about the world and being such a dynamic person, I think it probably made him, like, question some things about himself. And I do feel like sometimes people come into your life that push you in some way and you can't, you don't, you're not going to be with them. Like you think you, you think you can.

And then you just can't. And a lot of it is because they somehow, I hate to say make you feel inadequate, but like make you question what you're doing with your life. Like I noticed throughout the whole, that whole relationship with him was like all of a sudden it started to be like, he wasn't happy at his job. Oh, he wanted to do this thing. And you were just out here killing it. We were touring, we were traveling, we were doing this thing. And I think, like, him seeing you live your best life almost made him question his. And it was kind of crazy the timing of it, how, like, you guys, he ended this thing with you and then went on a, like, eat, pray, love trip. That's true. Oh, yeah, he did. So I wrote that, like, I mean, the whole, I just, he's not a bad guy.

I really don't know anything bad to say about him. But, like, his behavior, all these things he did were, like, really kind of nuts. He sent me this, like, really over the top, not crazy email, but it was a lot. It was a lot. And then was like, I don't want to be with you. And then I wrote him like a pretty kind email. Yeah. And I mean, we're laughing about the breakup people, but it was very kind and complimentary towards him.

And it was just like, hey, I don't think you're the person. And I don't think you think I'm the person. And he responded to me a month later with like another Iliad in the Odyssey. It was like another seven page email about his life and all of his thoughts and feelings. And like at that point, it's like, fuck you. Right. I don't care about your feelings anymore. Your feelings are over and they're canceled.

Right. And I responded to that, sort of like you responded to that text message, which was just like, have a good life. Yeah, have a good life. Like, not those words. I wrote, I wrote, enjoy your trip. I said water under the bridge, enjoy your trip. Exactly. And that was that. I, like, I'm proud that I'm proud that we've talked about this in the breakup boot camp episode, how I, like, took a beat. I took a couple days before I responded because my initial response was sympathy and kindness. My second response was like blind rage. And my final response was like, I don't care about that. Let's just let this go. So, you know, I think anybody can get blindsided. And I think that it's important to lean into things that make you happy and just try to see where they go. And he communicated to me that he wanted to be with me. There's nothing wrong with me for being like, okay, he probably does.

Yeah. So that, yeah, it was a funny experience. But I just think some people, like, I think especially some women, some like strong, powerful women. Like, I've seen this happen before. I've experienced it. And I've seen it happen with other girlfriends. I feel like that are similar to me and you. And, like, you meet this guy and he's so, like, enthralled and inspired by you at first.

And that's where, like, a lot of this, like, love letter type stuff comes from. And he's like, oh, my God, you know, you make me feel all these things and kind of, you know, it's a lot. It's when you're older, too. You know, I died to younger guys. This guy was younger than you. And it happens when you're in your 30s. And then it just kind of, like, goes south. And then all of a sudden, they're like in Asia, you know, like trying to find themselves.

It's just like, it's pushed him to Southeast Asia. It's kind of, I've seen it happen. And I think also with. with the end of the day, you, you end up thanking those people for, like, pushing you to kind of dig a little bit deeper. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't want to get you deep with it.

I don't want to thank me. But I also think about, like, we get this question a lot. And I want to do, like, a full episode or at least a deeper dive on it. And we get this question from women, like, can men date women that are really killing it? Do men want women that are better than them that make, not that I'm better than him? But I'm more professionally successful. I make more money than him. I'm also a lot older than him.

So I'm, I don't know, quite a bit older. than him. So I, like, women are like, are men intimidated by my success? Are men intimidated by how much money? I just think every man is different. It depends on what they were doing with their lives. There's plenty of 28-year-old men that would be perfectly happy to date somebody that was way more successful than them and made more money. And there's others that wouldn't be. And I don't think that, I mean, I'm not going to change. You know, I don't know that men are intimidated by success. Some are. Some aren't. Yeah. It can even be something we dive deeper into in a different episode. I think it's every situation is different. Every person is different. Every, there's a lot of

different factors there. Was the woman already wildly successful before? Like, did they both enter into this knowing? Did she shoot ahead in their relationship? Did they start on equal ground? That can be a recipe for disaster. There's all kinds of things. I mean, it's, I don't really subscribe to this, like men are intimidated. Sometimes I think they just don't like you. And I say that in terms of my own self. Like, this guy just doesn't like me. So I think there's a layer to it. But I think in some ways, can feel, the intimidate isn't the word I would use, but almost like, turned off? Not turn off like inadequate. And you make them feel inadequate without meaning to.

I've had relationships like that. I know that I made men feel that way. And they weren't my person, and I've changed a lot as well in the way I communicate and whatnot. But it happens and it's just not your person. Yeah. I mean, look, every man is going to, every partner is going to react differently to their partner's success. Like you said, age has a big deal to do with it. like if you're very close and age to a person and you're more successful and you started off

on equal footing, I can see that making anybody feel bad, whether you're a man or a woman. Some men react to it in a really positive way and it inspires them and it makes them want to be better and they want your input and your advice and they're excited to take the stuff you have to say and input it and implement it into their lives and others go to Southeast Asia for a month. Story number three. Drag another dude number three. I'm liking this.

All right. I have talked. about this guy in a few different episodes, maybe, or maybe just one, I don't know. The backstories that I met this guy on the road, and so he doesn't live in New York, you know, when we were 2019 was all about us, like, meeting fucking guys in the road anyway. So I met this guy on the road, super hot. I was into him. We were communicating, you know, daily texting and things like that.

And I think, I can't remember what episode I mentioned this on, but basically I felt like the communication started to taper off and then I said something about it and then it felt like we had a misunderstanding. He was like I kind of felt like you weren't into it anymore or whatever and then we had this clear the air moment and then we started talking again

and then he basically kind of started to get weird again and then I just ended it like I was like oh this I you know this is a pattern with you. I don't want to, I think he's got some issues like I just don't want to deal with I know he does. I just started to feel like this guy has a lot going on

and I'm not really here for it. I mean he was like all in every minute Snapchat's FaceTime. I don't know if anybody use the Snapchat, but whatever. Instagram, yeah, like sexy picks. A lot of stuff and then like just left you on red and stopped talking to you. Yeah. And then I've like kind of put him on blast and he was like, oh, I've just had a really tough week. I'm like, okay, too tough, but you're like on Instagram stories all week.

I get it. I mean, everybody has their own shit going on, but I just did, I realized that was a pattern. I wasn't going to, you know, it was kind of like full me once. Like I did give him the benefit out the first time. But in this whole mix was at the point where we were talking almost daily. This was last spring. We were Miami. So this was around April. Oh my God, all these things happened to me for April. What a month. So the first story that we told was April 2018. This is April 2019. He invited me to a wedding with him in another country, an international, like Caribbean wedding. Like a romantic beach vacation for a wedding. Actually, he actually didn't have a plus one to the wedding, which is something I wouldn't recommend

if you have a destination wedding, but live your truth. But he was going to be there for like a while. and he was like, you can come. Maybe the wedding was even like a weekday or it was like on Thursday or Friday. He was like, you should come after. I'm going to stay for like another week and you should hang out. You can stay with me in my like villa, whatever. And I was considering it. You were on kayak.

You were looking. Oh, I was looking. No, no, no. I was, I'm just so grateful that we, I was not able to go because of our show. Our shows at the Bell House were like May 1st or something. And you wouldn't have gotten back to like three o'clock at that. I would have the day of the show. I had to go through customs.

Like there was no way. Raina was like, do it girl. I'll live, like, do, go do this. The flight, it wasn't, the money, it wasn't so much the money, but the money was bad. Like, there was no direct flights. The flight would have been $1,500. Like, I was like, this is a lot. And just, in case I would get delayed, it would fuck up our show two hours.

So I just couldn't swing it. Like, I just tried. He and I were going back and forth. I really did try. I was, like, kind of picturing going on this, like, sexy vacate with this guy, whatever. And, yeah, I didn't go. And then once maybe. A week or two later, that's when I just, he got weird and I just kind of called it quits with him and then never looked back. And then we start, Rain and I started to deep dive. I noticed, because I'm, I just live for this shit. Like just, I love to be like a sleuth. I noticed him and this girl kind of communicating on Instagram. I could just tell. You know, you can just tell. You can tell. You can tell. Being on every post. It was cute. So I was like, I think he's dating this girl. We pull up her Instagram. We're like looking at them. And then we start to realize that she went on the trip.

Okay, I realized it, not you. Okay, I just want to go, go. I just want to, like, give myself credit for, like, what an amazing, like, Snoop I am. Because we saw that he had geotag this, like, random beach in the middle of nowhere. Some, like, out, some, like, cove of the hotel. And I saw that she posted a photo and geotag the same random little beach. And I was like, they're together. And then I started deep dive because Raina, Rana just got very invested in this girl's Instagram,

because she's kind of like a life coach type person. I'm still checking on her every day. These really flowery, crazy woo-woo captions, which is fine. again, Love Your Truth, not our brand. And so we just couldn't, we just like liked looking at them. And I was like, okay, something happened. Because when she came back from the trip, it was the, the posts were like a little somber. And they had never posted anything together. Ever. Well, two days later, she started posting stuff about, what did it say? It was like forgiving yourself and like leaning into good experiences and then forgiving yourself when they don't go well.

I was like, this is a play-by-play. She went on that trip. She went on your trip. She went on my trip. But the thing that like, Rain, okay, so Raina caught it. She noticed, they had basically posted the same photo of themselves on like the same balcony, but not together.

Then I dug deeper and, this is one of my favorite things to date. He had done an Instagram story that he panned like the villa. And then when it got to the, she was nowhere in it obviously, but when it came around to the lounge chair, there was a woman. like beach cover up on it.

But he ended it. He ended the Instagram story right as it got to the cover up. Women, I could tell that was a ladies cover up. I held that my thumb down, screenshot it. Zoom did. I was like, that's a girl's cover up. Like the way that they were trying, like, I wonder how he pitched that to her

that she couldn't post about it. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Because like, you know I was looking. Yeah, like I'm pretty positive just by the vibes that we were getting via Instagram that she would have gladly posted them together. And he clearly told her, like, you were the second choice for this. Or maybe I was

the second choice. Maybe she was like the fourth choice. Just to be clear, there was no time in between you and this girl. I mean, you were thinking about going on this trip like a week before you were going to go on the trip. This is all April. Like I remember our April was early April was Miami, right? And then mid-April was Philly. That was when I realized this girl happened. And then end of April was this wedding. I mean, this was all in like- Even days. I mean, this, I'm just saying, like, he didn't have time to meet another girl. and like invite another girl on the show. He just like cast a wide net.

He's like whichever one of he was dumb enough to fall for this. And then what, like broke up with her the day after the trip? I mean, it happened quick. Like she was posting that like heartbreak post. I mean, a week post trip. A week was the day after the trip. And then we just got so obsessed. And then he wasn't, he didn't like any of her photos from the trip.

He liked every one of her photos. Every one of her fitness photos. He didn't like one trip photo. That guy sucks. So much. You know, he was like telling her out, like, inspirational and brave she was for all of her seven-page Instagram captioned. And then Rayne and I just started to be on her team.

And we were like, poor girl! She's trying to start a business. She probably paid for this flight. It's like, I know how much that flight was. And she doesn't have this kind of money. And she thought this was going to be love. And she thought she was going to be spontaneous. And then get outside of her comfort zone.

And she got dumped. We were like so on her side. I went her team 100%. I checked out. I still check up on her. This guy is the worst. Yeah. That guy just like, I don't even know.

But he's like, you know, we talk about this with some people. He is like a self-loathing type of person. You know, like he's got enough going on that I'm not, he's not a good place. No. The thing that I like about you that I admire about you and I mean, I think that I am sort of like this, but not nearly as much to choose. You identify a behavior and immediately you're like, I'm not doing this. Like I at least entertained it for a little while. I like my mom's very much like you are too.

My mom's like, why would you ever talk to this person again? And I'm just like, I'm soft. And like I like that you just like, you see what's going to happen and you walk away from it. You don't understand it anymore. And I don't think you're mad about it or heartbroken. I think you're just like, I mean, it's like the saying where it says like when somebody shows you who they are, believe them. Yeah. Like just they, he did it.

And you weren't like going to get mad at him or yell at him or talk to him about like, what would the point of that been? Right. Well, this also came with age. And this was, this goes back to you want to listen to the. last week's bonus episode. Like this is just, you live and learn. Like this,

I wasn't like this at 27 or whatever. You know, I, I just see the writing on the wall because I've been through it all. So yeah, the first time a guy gives you those excuses, hopefully ladies,

if you listen to this podcast, you know, but like, you know, the first time that happens to you, you're 24 or whatever, and you're like, oh my God. Like we said,

like, oh my God, he's so brave. He's opening up to me. I can work with this. And like, you get to a certain, age and you're like, oh, this is bullshit and I don't want a part of this. Like, I think it's you, it's like a true live and learn, except for you, I guess. Yeah, except for this next story.

Oh my God. No. This is like not as funny as the other shows. I was like, should we even tell this? It's fine. I mean, I think I learned some good lessons from it. And I do like take, because I like cared about this person so much, it did stick with me harder than other people. It wasn't such like a flippant, I don't care thing. Well, yeah. And that's the thing. Like, we were talking to know this before. I'm not trying to interrupt you, but it's the depth with which you know somebody. And a lot of this, too, like the guy, both of my stories have been with guys that we had not been intimate.

You know, we hadn't spent a lot of face time together. And so it's way easier to be done with, you know, like especially you sleep with somebody. It's way harder to cut somebody off for bad behavior. And like this next story, you guys did not sleep together, but you spent a whole lot more time together. You knew him on a whole more personal level. Like it really is the depth of the relationship. how easy you're able to be like, oh, okay, bye.

Well, yeah, I think the longer you're with somebody, the more you're like, well, I understand them on this deeper level. And it's like, well, they understand me on a deeper level. What's wrong with me? That they know me on this deep level and still don't want to be with me. And I think that that's like hurtful and upsetting and harder to walk away from. The thing that's so interesting to me is like with all these relations, all these bad relationships.

Like, why do we accept so little for men? We accept things that like we wouldn't accept from our parents and our friends and our loved ones. Like, why are we out here? I know you don't. Why are we out here accepting so little? And I let this guy just like really do the absolute least. So yeah, this lasted like a year and a half. Met him like towards the beginning of the podcast. And I like met him and I was like, oh, this is like my person. It is so embarrassing. I'm not going to get into how I met him because it'll sort of give away who he is. But I got on the phone call with him. That was the first like interaction we ever had. And I was like on the phone. I was. On the phone. I

I was like, oh, wow. Like, fuck. And then he just, like, fucked with me for months. Like, remember he, like, made all those plans with me and then, like, would cancel last minute or would, like, always make plans with me when he knew I was out of town and things like that? And I just, like, all right, I'm done with this. We stopped talking.

And I just, I never thought about it again. Like, I let it go. And then he was kind of, he's, like, kind of transient. Like, there's points where he wasn't even here, you know. But then he came back and then he really started fucking with me last December. Yeah, that was brutal. Because I thought he was fucking gone for good. It was brutal for you, you mean?

Yeah. Like, for every, like, I just, of course, it's brutal for you. You lived it. But I was just like, God damn it. He, like, hung out with me a lot for like weeks, like six weeks. And then all of a sudden was like, I'm moving. I'm like leaving New York.

And we spent this, like, great night together. The last night he was in town where we like went out to this event. We went to dinner. We went to this bar. We were up all night long. It was like this great send-off. We were still talking every day once he left. He was, like, traveling all over.

I never heard one word about the girl that he was dating the entire time. not one word this whole time, which I came to find out in June because he came back to New York and he kept hitting me up to hang out, hang out, hang out. I was dating somebody when he came back. And it wasn't until I mentioned that I was dating somebody that he brought it up. And I hate this behavior that men do. And I see it a lot, especially in New York, where like they just won't mention it. They don't sleep with you. But then like you're sort of like, why? They appear to be single. Yeah. That's the, that's the behavior. We mentioned it before. I forget which episode. But it's like, are you trying to appear to be single?

Is your person that you're seeing absent from your social media? Do you leave them out of conversations where you should bring them up where they were involved? Like, it's that meme that's like, it's not like... Is there anybody else that would be upset about the dynamic between us? Is anyone under the impression that you're dating? Yes, that is so funny. That is what it is. And when he got back, he again sort of like mentioned that he was like seeing somebody,

but not how serious it was. and then like proceeded to like call me every day, want to hang out with me every day every morning, wanted to like go on a walk, get a coffee. And I was like, what is going on here? Like I was like so crazy about him. And I think he knew that.

And like I've never really felt taking advantage of professionally by a guy, like that they were like using me for something. But like that now that I have like in hindsight is what it was, he like wanted me to work on projects with him. And he pitched me on a couple projects. And like he was like, I think he like prayed on the fact that he knew that, like, I had these feelings for him, like, really, really deep feelings from. I never told him, but, like, I think it's, you know.

I think it's, I think men know. It's, like, obvious. And, like, I really felt like this is, like, my person. And this is, like, I mean, it was, like, a really devastating, like, heartbreak for me. Because I was, like, so crazy. And I'd let him go. And then he, like, came back into my life. Yeah.

And I realized, like, this person is using me for professional advancement. Well, I mean, I think he liked you and spend time with you. I don't want to, like, you know, like, it wasn't, like, I don't think the day to day was like, I'm going to, you know, I know Raina likes me and I don't have any interest in her and I don't think she's hot and I'm just going to see if I can get her to further my career. I think he probably was attracted to you, probably loved hanging out with you and spending time with you, but he had a girlfriend and he was like being manipulative and wanting to like get something from you.

Yeah. And I think his ultimate goal was to get something out of you. I do too. And I do think he enjoyed our interactions. There's no way he couldn't have. But that was like it was. Yeah, it was wonderful being together. And like, I don't regret.

enjoying it, but like I sort of do because I look back and I'm like, this person was like taking walks with me every morning and getting coffee and going to events and like being silly and cute and fun and talking to me all the time. And like I will say like just, I mean like God forbid his girlfriend, whatever this is. He never crossed the line. He didn't do anything wrong. I, on like in a court of law. It's just not how I would want my man to act. If I took a shower, walked out the door to my job and my man sat down, texted another girl, went for a walk with her. I would be furious. Right. And he never came on to me, never did anything wrong.

But like when he came back to New York that night that like I told him I was dating somebody else, we were like laying on my couch. That's what I'm saying. Like, drink. Yeah. Like it's just, oh my God. Like if that was my boyfriend, I would rather you get drunk and fuck somebody in a bachelor party than be in another woman's home on her couch having these special moments laughing,

having wine. It's so much more intimate. Like you guys had intimate moments. Yeah. And without kissing and stuff like that. whatever. But it was emotional cheating at its highest form. Absolutely. Whatever his intention was. And I think that like guys do this a lot where like they're, we use this term a lot like at a court a law. They didn't do anything wrong. Like you run

the receipts. I guess they didn't do anything wrong. But it's like I wouldn't want my man behaving like this. And you did appear to be single. You did not mention that this person had been a part of your life for like a year at this point. And it's like duplicitous and it's not fair. And towards the end of us hanging out, he was pretty clear that they were in a more serious relationship, but still was spending every day with me. And yeah, I mean, I think he, like, pitched me on a couple of business ventures and I, like, didn't lean into it. And I never heard from him again. So crazy. And I, like, kept convincing you to give him a chance. And my other friends to give him a chance. And I just, like, really believed in this relationship so much. And he's like the, I mean,

it's like vulnerable, but I don't care. I don't feel like sad or pathetic for saying this. Like, it's one of the only people I've met in so many years that I was like, this could be my person. I really like him. He's fun. He gets me. I can be vulnerable around him. I feel very much in sync with this person. And to be, like, lied to and manipulated like that. And then to turn down a business proposal and never hear from the person again. Like, I don't feel ashamed. I think you should lean into things that make you feel happy.

Looking back, probably should not have spent so much time with somebody once it was clear that he had a girlfriend. Yeah. Even though, like, I knew that I wasn't going to cross the line, but, like, it's still not good. Right. I don't know. So I don't know what the lesson is here. Like, I like there to be a takeaway in a lesson.

I don't know what it is. I mean, I just had to, like, eat my pride and decide that, like, that was what it was and that wasn't my person. And, like, I mean, it's kind of, we joked about this before with this guy. It is the full me once thing. You know what I mean? Like, he showed you who he was early on. Like, I think you just, you know, you and I both say it's hard to find people we really

connect with and really have the banter with and people that really seem to understand us and what we do and who we are and all these things. And so I think that you just let that get the best of you. but like he showed you who he was early on all the like fake plans and like the inconsistencies and just the way he lives his life it was like this guy was never going to settle down you know like it you knew all of this you just went against your better judgment and I think the takeaway is listen to you know don't stand for this stuff you know and I mean it's like if you do just prepare that you might get hurt yeah I don't think you'll do this again no and I just kind of had to like

learn the lesson on your own, through your own experience. I think there's a line between letting people be who they are and come to the conclusion themselves. Not every person that you meet has to want to date you today. And just because you have a certain type of feeling doesn't mean they have to match the intensity of it. Some people can meet you halfway at some point. But I think you're right. Like I think the lesson is like, if day one they communicate to you that they aren't going to meet you halfway and they are doing all this shit to fuck with you, then like you are entitled to like protect your heart and step back and be like, well, you can let them fight for it. And if they want to.

Yeah, but, like, I should have taken myself out of that. Yeah, don't give them any more of your energy. And it doesn't matter how much I, like,

truly believed we were supposed to be together. And this is, like, my person. It's great. He didn't believe that I was his person. And I shouldn't have let him do what he did because ultimately he was just, like, using me,

what, going home to this girl at the end of the night. Like, I got to be his, like, emotional sounding board and listen to him talk about all this stuff. And then somebody else gets his time and his dick and his money. Right. Well, he doesn't have money, but. but yeah, I'll be more careful.

And I think that, like, you know, I, everybody can have all the dating experience in the world. And when it comes to yourself, it's hard to take advice. And you can give the best advice to other people in the world. It's still hard to take your own advice and eat your own dog food. And I will hopefully be better in the future and change the behavior. And it was a bummer. But I think it's important to, like, be open and vulnerable and talk about this stuff. Absolutely.

Yeah. I just, I mean, you know, I think that there's some parallels between. the stories we've told where I am quicker to just be like, no, this behavior is an indicator of who you are and I'm not going to enter in this any further. Because, I mean, I didn't spend the amount of time with those guys that I mentioned like you spent with this guy, but I liked them a lot. I was like, oh, they get me. We have this thing. You know, and it was just like, I think you give people, you know, you give them that one chance. And then, but the cycle, they, then they do the exact same thing. You've got to walk away. Right. I think I just should have, like,

you know what I probably should have walked away because he came back to New York and like, I thought, like, okay, we're like on a path and he just told me like, I'm leaving one day. I had this like whole night out with me, which like I thought was so great. And then like he left. Yeah. And that should have been it. So I think, you know, you live and you learn. I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

To me, like that would have been it for me. You know what I mean? And that was what I hoped was it for you. And unfortunately it wasn't. And you live and learn. Yeah. So I think that honestly, like when we talk about people, nobody would ever know who they are. And I think that's great.

And I would never ever want this to get back. to his girlfriend. Nothing happened with us. That's not never the goal. That's never the goal. So the goal is just to tell you guys the mistakes we made and the decisions we made after them and hopefully you learned something from it. All right. That concludes the storytelling portion of the two-year anniversary episode. What we want to do is do some Hall of Famer emails from the live shows. So the live shows have evolved so much and we do a lot more crowd participation and we used to just do a lot more of listener email submissions of some of our favorite emails and talk about them in the shows. We don't do that as much anymore and the shows have

really gotten a lot better. They're a lot more fun. Not that these weren't fun, but bottom line, we're just not using these anymore. So, and we've done them at a lot of shows. If you've been to the shows, you probably have heard these, but I'm sure you'll be happy to hear them again because they're that good. Yeah, we're retiring them completely. We're never used them again, but we hate to not use them. So if you submitted these, thank you guys so much. If you, if you're one of the OG, came to the live shows in the beginning. I love. I love. I love. I love. when people tell me they came to our first Caroline show. And I love that we have so many friends that have seen it evolve.

And I love that now we're doing more crowdwork with people in the room. So we've retired these emails, but they're too good to not share with you guys. So for our two-year anniversary, we are going to share these emails with you. And hopefully you guys get a good laugh. And thank you for submitting that. And they all, most of them, fall into a category of our OG games. So is this weird? Psycho Power Move.

That took a turn. Do you want to start? Yeah, I do. It's my favorite email of all time. I'm obsessed today. I read this at our very first live show of Caroline's. It makes me laugh so hard. We got this email. We were in Chicago. You and me and Jeremy Jacobowitz were in a cab together. It was the funniest shit ever. Okay. I know it's like we remember the moment when it came through. I literally, we were on our way to a hotel for Lollapalooza. Yeah. Okay. And is this weird? Is this weird? I met a couple of months ago I met the most amazing man.

I'm misreading this. Fell hard for him and I've been having the in all caps most amazing sex and I could really see a future with him. However, I had a moment's pause the other day. Side note, he is 35, just so you guys are aware of how old he is. So with that in mind, I was at his place recently and the guest bedroom door was open, which it usually isn't. So I peeked inside. To my surprise, he had an entire Lego village.

complete with a Lego airport taking up the floor space of the entire room. I nonchalantly asked him, so I see you like Legos, huh? To which he simply replied, yeah, it's a hobby of mine. This guy was literally the entire package and a box of Legos. I don't know. Is this weird, much love Lego Lever's Anonymous? Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine?

Yeah. First of all, I was like, what's going to happen? and we like told these jokes the live shows but I literally read this email we live in New York City all I hear is second bedroom right you have a two bedroom apartment right and then this is stuff

these are jokes from the live shows I mean whatever there are the bits that we do but we would talk about that and then I would be like you have a room for your toys like how rich are you how rich are you you have a toy room and then we were saying that this guy has hobbies he's good with his hands

it's an engineer yeah he's an engineer and then I would be like I love the word like doing this I would be like, yeah, but Raina, what if you, like, peaked in the room one day? And he's, like, sitting there with his pilot hat on and he's like, the Lego airplane in the air. He's like, ladies and gentlemen, we're beginning our descent into Chicago O'Hare International Airport.

The local time is 3.27 p.m. temperature is 46 degrees Fahrenheit. Like, we were so, we're dying over it because I actually, like, my little, my cousin's little kids have that Lego Airport. And it's like $200. Legos are a fortune, first of all. second of all, I'm obsessed with roleplay. So this would turn me on tremendously. This guy has, I mean, it's not a room full of mess.

It's not his like crack lab. This is a dream. I love this guy. This is hysterical. I'm, and who he asked, is this weird? I mean, it's, it's like a nerd hobby. But like, to me, this guy, like, sounds pretty successful, to be honest. I know.

He has a rich person hobby and a second bedroom. I love it. I say go for it. And I found this guy on Hinge not too long ago. Did I ever send you this? It says, dorkiest thing about me is, that was the prompt, the dorkiest thing about me is I occasionally build large Lego sets because I find it relaxing and meditative and slightly nostalgic. I love it.

You found him. I know, I found him. He's here in New York, guys. I don't, his name's Durush, Dyrish. Look, I don't care about this. I love it. I think it's fine. It's like, it's like, worst hobbies. Yeah, it's, it's if you're like, if you're still living like you're a child and there's other things that are fucking weird, but other than this, no, the, the consensus is that that we don't think this is weird. Uh, okay. This is one of my favorite ones of all time. This was a psycho or power move that we did this in a ton of shows. It was truly one of our favorites.

Okay, she writes, Psycho or Power Move recently started listening to your podcast, and I'm curious, Psycho or Power Move. I was out at our college campus bars and was supposed to be meeting up with this guy I had been seen for months. I didn't see him, but ran into his sister. And she ends up asking me to go to his place with her since he already went home. I'm like, sure, let's go.

We show up and he's with another girl there. Huge fight, blah, blah, blah. And he asks me and his sister. to leave. So we do, and we go to this after party. Fast forward, many drinks later, and I find myself hooking up with his sister. I miss reading this at the shows. Okay. Disclamer, never been with a woman before or even thought I could. Now I'm like, okay, really though, was I being psycho? I'm going to say what Andrew Collins said, it's a psychotic power move. Yes, it's so good. It is so good. I love it that like this girl was just like, fuck it. I'm going to fuck the person that is the, what pissed you off the most

in the world. It's so great. What if you're your sibling? Yeah. What do they start dating? I just, can we reuse jokes? We used to the show? Yeah. My joke about this in case you care was that it'd be so funny if like she started dating a sister and she brought her home for Thanksgiving and the grandmother's all confused and she's like,

I thought you used to date John and now you're with Jessica. And she's like, yeah, Grandma, Jessica eats better pussy. I like these girls like, I'm getting cheated on. I'm just going to ruin their family Christmas for the rest time. I just love this girl so much and she pushed herself outside of her comfort zone. Good for her. Good for her. This next email, we met this girl in Austin. She came to the show. This took a turn. I had been dated this guy for a couple weeks. One night we went out, had several drinks and I passed out super early when we got back to his place. However, I woke up a couple hours later to him sitting on the couch sharpening a butcher knife with about 40 to 50 more knives in every shape. in size all lined up on the coffee table and the floor. I fucking lost it. I started hysterically crying and tried running for the door. Mind you, I am butt naked. She's also like six feet tall.

I know. I wanted to say that. We met her. She's like much taller than me. Tall girl. He beat me to it and blocked my attempt to leave. So I started throwing myself against the door screaming for help after about 30 seconds of this, he was finally able to calm me down long enough to tell me he works for Cutco as a side job. He was just taking inventory because he was bored. Then if it hadn't already taken a turn,

he proceeds to make it up to me in the bedroom where I had the best orgasms of my life, plural, like several of them, guess the thought of being jumped into a million pieces turned me on? He murdered that pussy. Yeah, she was so great. I love murder so much.

If this happened to me, I would be like shaking from terror. That is terrifying. And it's so funny to meet her and like picture her like six feet tall ass, like up like naked, like trying to talk. She's tall girl. Trying to break free. Yeah, she's fine. She's covered in knife wounds, but she's fine. I don't know if I would stay.

It would really frighten me. What were we joking about this guy? We were like, he sounds great. He's a side hustle. Side job. He's probably got some great benefit. He works really hard. He's a job and a second job?

Okay. I'm going to do this. This took a turn. I'm going to take deep rest to do this one. This was a favorite one. We used to end the show with this sometimes. She writes, This took a turn.

I saw that you were looking for conversations that took a turn and thought this might qualify. Here's the opening combo with a guy on Bumble who was super hot. Almost suspiciously hot. Please see message thread

in the attached thirst trap photo for reference. He was hot. He looked a little dushy, but he was a hot dude. Okay. She writes to him. She says her opener, because again, I'm Bumble. I was trying to think of a witty opener, but I'm too busy trying to figure out with a tattoo and your thirst trap pick says, silly face, tongue out emoji. He writes, text number one, you are really attractive. She never responds to that. She never responds to any of these. Text two, love your eyes and your smile. And good Lord, you have a major case of hot face. Red cheek emoji. silly face emoji. Text three, you look like you may have some curves, which I love, too.

Teethgrid emoji, silly-face emoji. Text four. Thirstrap was witty for me. Never heard of it. Hilarious. Three cry-loughing emojis. Text five. It blows my mind. People think I'm so good looking. Tech six, especially all these matches I get laughing emoji. Text seven, I just swip for the first time in forever yesterday morning since last summer, actually, L.O.L. I got seven or three matches and overwhelm me. The whole swiping thing really did too. So I didn't really read anyone's profiles. I'm just swiping based on looks and pretty fast. Now I'm trying to wait out as many as possible from the 41 that have texted me so far, laughing emoji. Text eight. You look like you are fun and happy. I like that.

Text 9. And if I was a chick and you were the dude and you sent me a dick pick, I would totally say, let's fuck. Text 10, L. L.O.L. Okay, that sounded really weird. Text 11. I take it back.

Text 12. Good morning. What the fuck? The best is with good morning. Like, he went so hard and he was like, you still there? He's like, I got to reel this back in. Buzz, buzz. I love that they're all separate texts too.

Like each one of these is a separate thought. He's like, I got to send it. I got to send it. This guy is wild. It's like a bot almost. I'm out of breath. Yeah. And we saw these screenshots.

Should they make it out? No, they're real. All of these are real. Sadly. All right. Well, those are four favorites. Maybe we'll do this again. Because now we have some funny ones from all of the shows and from local people in the shows.

All right. I like this. I liked wrapping up the last two years, all the live show emails. I'm very excited with where we are romantically. You've got to get ready for a date. I do have to get ready for a date. I have a date with a woman. With what?

Maybe I'll call my neighbor. Oh, who? He'll get the late shift. Emily. Emily's coming over. Yeah, but then you got to go see your neighbor. Well, it's Valentine's Day. Can you believe we're both a relationship?

He's going to listen to be so horrified. He's like, no, we are not. He doesn't know a podcast star. Oh, God. Okay. Well, guys, we will see you in Australia this week. It's all happening. Thank you for coming out to San Diego and L.A.

Get tickets to all of our other shows that there's still tickets left. Again, really limited ticks in every of those cities that we mentioned, if there are even any still available. Girls got eapodepodcast.com. I literally don't care shows. com. Stupid live shows.com still works. Have your pick. Um, and girls got to eat podcast on Instagram. Raina.com. Greenberg on Instagram. Ash has on Instagram, Girls underscore got to eat on Twitter. Subscribe rate review. Hit us with five stars if you enjoy this episode. And thank you for being with

us for two years. Yeah, we love you guys. Really thank you for everything for the live shows for the tweets, the messages, the DMs, even though we tell you not to. And the emails, we love each other. And we love you guys. Thank you for being a part of our girls got to eat family. We'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.