Girls Gotta Eat - Embrace Your Cringe and Take Back Your Dating Power feat. Tinx

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

We are SO excited to be joined by Tinx to talk about box theory, reverse box theory, and a GGE exclusive – the Eating Box Theory. But there's so much more – we're discussing all the ways to take back your power in dating (and enjoy it more) by shifting your mindset, working the apps to your advantage, embracing your cringe, getting into your main character energy, and holding funerals when situationships end. We also discuss reinventing yourself, still lusting for an ex when you ended it, how to advocate for your own pleasure in bed, and more. Before Tinx joins us, we're announcing our new Suck & Blow Gel flavor (!!!), having a ridiculous conversation about eating ass, and catching up on Ashley's blowjob apology and Rayna's sensual massage. Enjoy! Follow Tinx on instagram @tinx, get her book The Shift, and listen to her podcast It's Me, Tinx. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Hatch: Get up to 20% off your Hatch device purchase and free shipping at hatch.co/gge. Buffy: Get $20 off your order at buffy.co with code GGE. Blueland: Get 15% off your first order at blueland.com/gge. AG1: Get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 + 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And when you make that shift internally and you go into a date thinking this is a vibe check, that's it. It's so powerful and it makes it more fun. We've already done one podcast recording. I mean, now you're all off track because you did it hold another intro today. You guys, we just filled in for Nick Vile. We already going to do it? Whatever, forget it. You guys have heard it for six years.

And Raina just absolutely crushed it. Thank you. You just sprang into action. You just co-hosted another show. I don't know how I feel about it. Well, you were with me. I was with you, but like, you were the host. It was really fun.

I've never been in that scenario without you. So his show is, it's reality recap. It's Bravo reality recaps. You don't watch as much Bravo as me. Yeah, it's fine. I listen to his show every week. I'm such a fan girl. And so he was like, do you want the main chair?

And I was like, yeah, I got this. And so I felt like it, like, it fell to me to, like, lead the conversation, take us into the next topics. And I was like, I got to do this. I got to like. It was kind of funny. I was like, I'm just here just for fun. It was really fun for me.

I'm just hanging out. I just, when you and I record together, I'm always just like, it should be 50-50. We take turns talking about. I'm like, I really am the Bravo historian, so I'm going to take the floor. Exactly. I want to give a weather update. Great. We haven't done this in years.

We really haven't. Because I think we've made it over this hump in L.A. of this, like, rainy, colder winter. And it's like, you know, 70 and sunny. We made it. And I think that we are good from here on now with El Nino. And I have been telling everybody this that I know because I haven't researching and how when we moved here in 20203, it was just like so terrible and it rained for three months. And we were like, maybe it's just a fluke.

Like maybe it's just one winner in L.A. And then I did know deep down that it was going to continue. And I feel like I was just really hoping that that wasn't the case. But I was like, it's going to be into 2024. And so I had this like sneaking suspicion. And sure enough, suspicions confirmed. And it was this terrible rainy. I mean, it's rainy everywhere.

Like the whole climate is changing. like don't get it twisted but i mean this was a crazy winter in like miami east coast like everywhere was just like shit and i think we're on the tail end of it allegedly we're really supposed to be done with el nino in like june but then el nia get the fuck out of here might come in but then you said you heard that it's going to be hot and wet a wet hot summer wet hot american summer yeah that's what people are saying wet hot california summer it's just like i didn't give up my like new york city membership card to move here and live in the rain like i didn't do you that. Like, you moved to LA for two things. It's the weather and the space. And, like, I didn't move here for

50% of those things. I would have just stayed a New Yorker. Yeah. But, I mean, I, you know, take solace and the fact that everywhere has been dog shit. Ashley and I, like, do this. But I keep, like, I keep, like, Chicago, New York, different neighborhoods in LA. Because the time is different. It's totally different. I like to make sure everybody else is miserable. No, it's like checking up on your exes. Like, what I'm really checking up on New York weather is checking up to make sure your ex is still doing bad. I do. I like, make sure that, like, even though it's like a little a rainy here that it will be cloudy and colder there longer. I check in on y'all every day. It's part of my swipe here. Anyway, I think it's going to shape up. I think we're going to have a

great summer, 2024, weather-wise, more so than the last like year and a half. So if I'm wrong, what are you guys going to do about it? I don't claim to be a meteorologist. People that claim to meteorologists are wrong all the time too and no one holds them accountable. That's such a funny job. That's very like, but IDK as a job. I know. Like you could be like, well, it might be this, but you never know what's weather. You really don't have to survive with that job. They can't control the weather. That's your whole job basis.

You don't have to be right. That's so funny. There's like no other profession that's like that. Media. What if you're a doctor and you're like, we'll say. All right, let's thank some of our partners. Shout out to the meteorologist, though, doing their thing. You do you.

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Yeah, I was against it. No. So, Raina was like, really? Raina's like, I hate moms. Just kidding. I was like, let's do it for Mother's Day. You were like, I'd rather not.

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If you want to have like a sexy date night at home, it is my favorite smell. Sontal. Mm-hmm. It's like woodse. Yeah, I was given a massage this past weekend. Raw Dog, no candle. No loop? Well, no, no back loop.

Can you believe I get a massage without lube? Wait, no, that reminds me I could tell you about this massage night this weekend. Oh my God, the massage. That's right. The Anne Sparkle Eyes got the privilege of getting the voice note download. Can I tell you when you are with him, I really, I revel in sending you guys voice notes together. I know that he's going to laugh at, too. yeah, he was like, oh, we have a voice note from Raina. He was like, I was like, I was in the

middle of like telling you a story. You know, it's important. And I was like, well, let's fuck your little story. No, I'm just kidding. But I was like, no, I'm kidding. But he like got so excited. Like, he was cooking me dinner. And I was like, we got a voice note from Raina. Come over. Let's listen together. He loves it. I love it. You know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't interrupt this weekend if it wasn't important. So I'll tell you guys in a minute. But also get that, get that for your mom, Vibesonly.com. We have tons of stuff that are great for moms or great for yourself, as actually said. And then our best seller and our consumable line, our suck and blow gel, we have a brand new flavor for spring. If you like sucking dick or don't like sucking dick, love eating pussy, don't love it.

Well, you're stupid if you don't love it. But this is an oral enhancer for everybody. It's going to enhance your saliva glands. And we're announcing our spring flavor as a former Georgia peach. Trish would like to announce that the newest suck and blow gel flavor is juicy peach. I'm so excited about it. Yeah, and if you guys need a translation for that, juicy peach, I'll say it in my voice. I'm just so excited because of Georgia.

I get my peaches down in Georgia, Justin Bieber. You've called for references for date. You got the yummy, yummy, yummy. I mean, this is a flavor that you guys have wanted. We crowdsourced this stuff all the time, honestly, partially for our own entertainment because I, like, seeing the funny flavors. And we did a funny April Fool's post on the vibes only Instagram and some of the funny flavors you guys, most of them came from like crowdsource questions.

But when you guys are being serious, you really have requested peach. and we have done a lot of taste testing. We probably taste tested this for over a year just to get it right and get it like to the right flavor and, you know, the sweetness, juiciness. So, I mean, it'll really, like, you taste it, like my mouth salivates for it. I know. And then we launched Suck and Blow Jow two years ago with the mango flavor. And it was like our best seller people went crazy for it.

So this is in like the mango family. But peach, I think, it's going to be a huge seller. And these are all limited time flavors. So we did them for the season and then they're gone. Yeah. Maybe. And, you know, since it's peach. Eat some ass with it.

We don't advertise the suck and blow gel for eating ass, but go off. It's an oral enhancer. It's an oral enhancer. Why would you not? Butthole? You want to taste butthole. This is. Exactly.

Like what? Dicks taste fine. Like I'll suck a dick. I love sucking dick. I haven't had a lot of weird funky smells on dicks. Yeah, yeah. A but a butthole stays earthy. I would know.

As soon as I would never eat a butthole. I would never stick my face in a man's butthole. That's it. insane. I've said it before. Anyone off the street can eat mine to put up my nose, my new nose, my pristine perfect nose in a butthole?

My old nose probably would have just got stuck in there. You can't eat ass with that nose, ma'am. You'll get stuck. Like a vortex, that bottle just sucks up that nose. And as someone who's eaten one butthole, so I've eaten one more butthole than you have, and it was after

a shower, and he didn't have, like, a lot of hair. Yeah. He wasn't like a hairy person. He was, I think, I think. Maybe he was Dutch. No. Oh. You ate a Dutch bottle? It's like a delicacy.

Not the Danish. Like, who? Not the Dutch bottle. I mean, like, thinking of, like, this pastry and Prague called, like, the turdalenic or whatever. And, like, the Dutch bottle is, like, a delicacy in that part of the country. I don't know what he was. He was pale.

Was it in Amsterdam? No. There's Dutch people outside. I know. I know that. I don't know he wasn't over there. It was a Nordic. Oh,

not that Nordic. Okay, I see what you mean. He was tall, pale, like pasty. Yeah. Oh, my God. That is insane. Okay. Well, good for you.

No, I mean, I do understand that it's empowering. I mean, Nikki Glazer does bits about. Who? The man that your face is in his butthole. She says she felt like when she first ate an asshole that she was like, I should run for president. Like, she felt empowered in like a dirty way. Like, she's like, I'm kinky. That's why I feel when I like suck dick and like lick the taint and like don't neglect the balls.

But like a butthole and like we have fallen from grace. So anyway, get the suck and blowjail guys and eat it on that Dutch butt. No. If you guys, if you eat this on a Dutch person, please DM us. I don't know why, but like I feel like Dutch should be like apple flavored. Like a Dutch pound cake? Yeah, totally. A Dutch baby.

Okay. Let's do that. Okay. It'll be our Dutch collection. But we're really excited for you guys to get this and taste it. I'm, I've all fucked up. I don't even know what I was going to say. It's on sale now and can't recommend enough.

I can't wait to use it myself. I have to tell you that I did send a text to Sparkleys. I went to Boston this past weekend. I'll tell you guys a little bit about it. It was a little bit more of an abbreviated trip because I had to get back for Britney Schmidt's birthday and to do this Nick thing that we did this morning, Monday morning. And so I usually go like Thursday afternoon, early evening.

I leave Monday morning, but I left Sunday morning. It's like a whole day earlier than, so anyway, we had, you know, two and a half days. and we had like a lot of great sex and we really had such a wonderful weekend, but I just didn't suck his dick. And I kind of felt like you hadn't been like dropping hints, but he just makes a lot of funny like jokes. We make a lot of like sexual jokes. And there was a point where I was like you're making like a lot of dick jokes, like just funny. Like he's just quick with it. It's just that like boy humor and we both share that and you share that too.

You know, any opening to do a like blowjob joke or that's what he said kind of stuff. whatever. And so I was on the plane, like, going home and I was like, I'm sorry I didn't suck your dick this weekend. I was like, I really feel like a set an apology text. It was like, rain check on that. Like, I, it just didn't come up. Sometimes you're not inspired. Yeah. Like, you know, he's one of those guys. It's like, I don't need that, but I obviously I like it. You know, he's just one of those. He's never really requested. I enjoy sucking his dick. We have the blowgels, all the things. So I get down there. But like, it just didn't come up this weekend. Like, you know what I mean? We did other stuff. Yeah. And so when I sent that text, like, it was a dead ass serious

text. Like, I'm so sorry I didn't get to that blow job this weekend. You're in a long-distance relationship. Every time you guys are together, it's an event and you want to do all the things. But I'm really proud of you because you've come a long way. Because I feel like sucking dick was not like number one of the menu for you when I met you for like years. And I feel like you've really come into your own. Like you enjoy it now. Yeah. And it's really like we said before. When I'm doing it is more in the four play realm. It's not just like get down there to finish the job. You know, we both really like to have intercourse and like, you know, be intimate and look at each other. You know, like that whole thing. And I think I said in that text and he was just like, am I giving off the energy that I need an apology?

So funny. And I was like, no, I just like wanted to, you know. I would have loved it if he was like, you should be sorry. Yeah. He was like, thank you. I appreciate it because I was upset. No, he was just like, that's so funny. And you know I don't care. And I'm like, well, planned all this stuff for you this week and Ashley and you didn't even suck my dick. Yeah. He was like, I planned a picnic for you and I didn't even get a blow job. I'm disappointed as somebody finishes during a blowjob. I'm like, I wasn't done with this experience. I don't. I'm a finishing blowjob. That's actually a great call. I'm just like, we're just done here. That is so true. I mean, that's the whole thing we talk about.

We feel like people are intimidated. We did a whole episode. You can go back and listen called How to Give Better Blow Jobs and enjoy them or something. It was on Valentine's Day. Yeah, it was on Valentine's Day in 2020. Yeah. Sounds about right. But that's such a great point.

Like, oh, we're done now. I've done you a favor and you've ruined the experience for me. Yeah. Like, I get it that there's some moments you want to get down there and do it all. And that's what the event of the night is. But you're so. Right. Like, yeah, then it's just over. What do we do now? What do we do? I mean, they can go down on you. Yeah. But they're a little tired.

Yeah, I know it's like over for them. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'm just, I'm a foreplay. It's rude. Dick Sucker. It's rude if you finished during a blowjob. You've just totally reframed this for me. Not that I was finishing them on the reg. But yeah, it's just a little bit of a bummer. It is a bummer. We now, we just, what, watch a movie? While you regenerate, we have little sex tomorrow. I can do this all over again tomorrow. Right. Right. Thanks. It's so funny that you just like, when you said like I just didn't think of it, like

it's like Dallas business car guy, like I never felt inspired to suck his dick, never put it in my mouth, never came up any of the time I had sex. I wasn't like, that's fine I don't like you. Oh, 100%. Yes. The first time you ever said that, when did you say that? It was so hysterical when you just said you didn't feel inspired. I forget it.

The vibe this weekend was, it was good. It was just very like, we're still new, but it felt like very new. Like just rip each other's clothes off, like really wanted to like get down to it. So it just didn't really come up, you know? Yeah. Sometimes you just want to start fucking. That's been a critique I've gotten in the past. I need to do a little more for a play.

Because I do just get so excited. I just want to like penetrate. Yeah. I want to be penetrated. I don't want to penetrate you. Yeah. No one's ever let me peg them. 2025 goal.

I could peg somebody. Maybe that should be your goal before you turn 40. Peg somebody? Yeah. I would love that. Can you just make that the goal? With the end of the universe. I mean, I would love to peg somebody.

That sounds so fun. I've always wanted to. Yeah. Like 10 years I've wanted to. I know. We've been talking about it. It's Tessa's birthday today. So happy birthday to Tessa.

By the time this comes out, and I was wondering, like, do you have any, like, sexual goals for the year? Oh, my God. No, don't tell us. You're like our daughter. I don't even, like, when you post thirst drafts on Instagram, I'm like, I shouldn't watch it. Rina!

No, she can post it her or she wants, but it does, it does feel a little bit, like, I feel like I'm not supposed to see this on your boss. Just block us. No, we'll meet her. No, you're beautiful always. Everything you do is great. She's not like, I don't know what I should be here. But then, like, we do it too.

She's like, ooh, you're my boss. And she's like, ooh, my mom's are posting. I'm sitting here talking about sucking my boyfriend's dick in front of her. She's like, oh, sorry that I showed some cleavage. She had to pose a photo of you on your knees, on a bed, holding a butt plug. What was it? The cock ring. Anyway, the gentleman's package is back in stock also, you guys.

I was promoting it in a sexual manner last week. And that's back. So, yes, so happy birthday to Tessa. And then I don't think we said this last week, but Azul's gotcha day was last week. So he's been with us. It's like April 24th. So he's been with us for three years. Oh, so you're welcome.

I told her to keep you. I know. Can you believe it? Yeah, it's just like a camp of three years is really flown by. I know. I love it. He's come a long way since being seized from an arrest in South Carolina. You know that I feel?

I was like yesterday years old when I realized you had that footage. Is that real? What? The photo of him being seized? Oh, no, that wasn't him being seized. It was him like at the shelter. What? What?

It looked like a still. You put it on your Instagram and it looked like, news footage of soul being seized from like the Met Lab. It's kind of look like that. We'll post it. Basically what it was. It's very cute because I love to, you know, reminisce and I'm a sentimental person in general.

But I posted the original email I got when my rescue animal lighthouse, shout it to them. We love them. When they were like, hey, we know you want to foster. We have this little fluffy-tailed boy coming in. Would you want to foster him? And then there is like a video and I think is still showed up in the email. But he was already at the shelter. I meant to ask you because I was like, I can't believe this is the first time

I'm seeing this footage. him being rescued. No, you know, I can't get the story. I've talked about this before. Like, they won't tell me what happened. So I just have to come up with my own hypothesis that it was like a drug bust or, you know, that's kind of what I'm guessing. Yeah. Why else would you bust up in a house? And then there's four dogs and there, you know, like it just, it feels like a drug situation. Totally. I mean, his old teeth came looking like he was the one doing meth, but yeah. But we're a plastic surgery family. Yeah. So he has to get it too. I think I said this before, but there was a vet who reached out to me and asked if she could give us old braces.

is like her final thing in vet school. Dog braces. Yeah, she was like, this is part of what I want to do. I can't remember how she worded it, but she was like, can I do braces on Azul? Whatever, it was like part of her residency. I don't know how that works exactly. And I was like, no, I just like, I'm like this. It's like her thesis project.

I was like, there's only four teeth even. Is it even braces if you only have to do four? Yeah. I also wanted to say, I mean, at this point, we will have just gotten back from the Lovers and Friends Festival in Las Vegas. as we record, we are heading out there this weekend. And it's just like my Super Bowl. And it's all my like throwback artists from like the 90s, early 2000s. And I went two years ago.

It was true like the best day my life. And you're coming this year. And we'll see how you do. Because I don't, you're not a musical festival girlie. Fuck no. You don't care about these artists as much. And it's going to be hot as balls. I feel empowered though going into it.

Because like no one thinks I'm a musical festival girly. I left Coachella as soon as I got there essentially. It's just, it's not for me. I don't want to be hot. I just don't care that much. It's not just, it's not for me. I'll go to a concert. It's still not my favorite way to spend money.

But like in the hierarchy, like what I spent my money on, it's like travel, food, clothing. Music is so far at the bottom. Yeah. So we'll see how it goes. I'm excited. I'm excited. We have a big group of girlfriends going. Yeah.

That to me is like worth the money. I just want to take it with everybody. Yeah. And we'll do the pool party at the encore, at the win on Friday. I think it's like Diplo and we have a dinner that night. And it's my best friend from childhood's kind of early 40th celebration. And so it's like a whole thing. And yeah, we'll see how you fare.

I mean, to me, I'm like, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Like, I'm dressing for it. I'm hydrating. Like, I'm getting there as early as I can. And, like, I'm planning out my schedule. Like, we'll see who wants to, like, run around with me and do all this. Because, like, the lineup is insane. It's like so many artists that I'm like, I can't see them all.

Like, I really wish it was two days. It's crazy to me that they put people of our age through this. This is an older demo. And they're like, 300 artists one day. See if they can do it. See how many of them die. Yeah. Let's kill off 70's generation.

See who survives. See if you can make it to Jana Jackson that night. Yeah. That's funny. Well, there's like six of us going and plus like a bigger group also. So like I feel fine. This is why I like group trips. You can splinter off if you feel like it.

Yeah. Lee's going to get blacked out by 4 o'clock. She'll take a nap with me. Yeah. I mean, you can just, and you can walk back to the hotel. Two years ago I had to go back and like take a break, take a shower, do it, alpha change.

I like physically felt like so disgusting. Yeah. But let's take a quick break and then we'll get back into it. I am so excited to tell you. guys about Hatch. Okay, so I am so big on sleep and quality of sleep and I'm always trying to put my phone away, get to sleep in a more healthy way, wake up in a more healthy way and not spike your cortisol, all the stuff that happens and what screens do to your brain activity and all that type of thing. So we're just really excited to talk about this. And I think everybody can relate to that.

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So it's just this like, it's a device. Yeah, it's like a half moon shape. And they come in these really beautiful neutral shades. And we knew that they were a partner of ours and we were talking to some girlfriends. and we were on that trip and some girls were like, oh my God, I couldn't like live without this now. So what it does is it's not your traditional alarm or your sound machine. It's going to use a soft, glowing light paired with soothing sounds to help you wind down peacefully at night, bringing that spa-like feel into your bedroom.

And then it will wake you up gently with a sunrise that gradually changes color and gets brighter, simulating your natural sleep patterns. So before my hatch, I A, went to bed with soothing sounds. You know, I like white noise or rain sounds and whatnot. and then I wake up with like a more gradual alarm. I a couple times have woken up with my boyfriend and he just has that like, er, I think it's really bad for you.

I don't think you're supposed to jolt up like that. Like my heart races. Like the couple times he's forgotten to turn off his like workday alarm and I've woken up with him. I feel like my blood pressure rises like my heart is beating. Like I don't think you're supposed to wake up like that. You know, like maybe there's some science of people that want to, but I think you are supposed to wake up gradually.

I mean, in an ideal world, you wake up with the sun, you know, like you actually have that circadian rhythm and you like wake up naturally the one your body's supposed to. So this really does try to simulate that for you and really helps you prioritize rest and create bedtime habits that make you feel ready for sleep at night and energize the morning. So I really like they're doing the whole experience when you go to bed and how you wake up. And again, it's beautiful. I love the way it looks in my bedroom. It looks better than any sound machine alarm clock I've ever seen. And Hatch has put over five million people to sleep. We're talking babies to adults. Great for B-S-2, and 78% of users say that their sleep has improved since using a Hatch device.

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these. The refills start at just 225. So it's really great. And Blueland has a special offer for listeners right now get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com slash GGE. You won't want to miss this. Blueland.com slash GGE for 15% off. That's Blueland.com slash GGE to get 15% off. Okay, so I was in Boston this past weekend, and I just have to tell, I love telling you about like some fan interactions because they're like my favorite. Those are like some of our absolute favorite girlies and we have a show there and we'll talk about the tour in a little bit. But I just had like two very funny things. So one, we were like going to his parents house and just to like visit with them for a little bit and they live like more in the suburbs like outside of Boston. And so we stopped at this huge farm. It was so beautiful. I was like Raina would be loving this so much. Like Raina and my mom would thrive here. It was just like this huge market. Then they had this giant tulip field. They were doing a tulip picking day. So there was all these like families in this like tulip garden. You could get flowers.

It's huge. It's called the Wilson Farm, I think. They have the pumpkin patch in the fall. And it's just this like amazing farmer's market in door vibe. Whatever. It's like incredible. So I was like, let me pop in there and get some flowers for your mom. So I go in.

I get her like a dozen tulips. And I didn't pick up myself. Sorry, I wouldn't have time. And we're driving out. And I hear like, Ashley! In the suburbs out of this farm. Ashley, we love you! and it's like five girls, they're hanging out of this SUV.

They're like two cars behind. And they're like, ah. And so it's like, first of all, like, how am I hearing these girls name in like the farm and the suburbs, whatever? And so I turn around and I'm like, I love you too, whatever. And they go, show us your tulips. And I like stick this bouquet out the window. All day we were going, show us your tulips.

That's not where I thought is going. Show us your tits. Like, they go, show us your tulips. And then I stuck 12 tulips out the window and they go, Woo! That's better than our audience. Funniest thing. That is not what I expected.

Shows your tulips. Show us her tulips. What if you just took your boobs out? I know. I was like, oh, I heard tits. Sorry, I heard breasts. They're like, we said tulips, you weirdo. But also no one's ever asked to see my tits either.

They're like, we don't care. We get it. They're small. And then the other thing, we went to this dinner at this place, which I've been trying to get, keep them a little bit, but I still want to hype them. They're called Source. It's like my favorite pizza. It's in Cambridge, like in Harvard Square.

So we leave the restaurant. We're walking out. this girl comes up to me the street. She walked out the same time as that she's with her boyfriend. And she was just like, I love you so much. You know, coming to the show, this and that. We've come to the show before or whatever. And she was like, can I get a picture with you?

And then Sparkalize was like, do you want me to take it? And she was like, of course. And so he goes, after this, you can get a picture of us. And he said it kidding. Well. Well. And I thought he meant like me and him. Yeah.

After we took a picture. He's a good. He handed it to her and made her take a picture of him and her boyfriend. I was like, he made this girl take a picture of him and her boyfriend. First of all, I thought you meant her and him together. She could be like,

me and sparkle eyes. I mean, sparkly, no, him and her boyfriend. I was like, what have I even seen happen? And this girl's probably like, what am I doing?

It was so funny. He is so funny. Like, he really, like, oh, he makes me laugh all the time, but I don't know. Something about this weekend. It was especially, like,

on one. I was, it was very, very funny. I just think he really is, like such a guy's guy and like guys like him. Our friends, boyfriends all like him. It's important to him and Ryan or buddy.

It's like, it's important to him to like get along with everybody. Yeah. And then another girl, we were hanging out in Seaport just out in the water. This girl comes over and she sat right down. You do not expect it. She's out right down. She was like, I'm 28 and one thing. She's very cute.

And she was like, you guys help me through a lot. She came to the show in 2021 by herself and she's going to come again. And she was like very cute. And I loved her story. But at one point she goes, I mean, you're older than me. And like, I knew what she meant. Like, I appreciate that. She's 28.

I'm 40. It's not like she's 38 being like, I mean, I just want to be clear that you're older than me, like you would do. But she just was, I'm kidding. But she was just like, I look up to you in a funny way. But she walked away and he was like, did that bother you? I was like, no, not at all. I knew what she meant.

But to say to somebody, I mean, you're older than me. It's very funny. But I, she didn't mean like that all. And I really appreciate her coming and sitting down and like just settling right in and sharing her story. But, you know, being there just, I don't know. It made me so excited to go back out on tour and like see all of you guys. And, you know, we have that third show.

we added in Boston and we really hope you guys like snatch up those tickets because it'll sell out. And then of course every other place we're going. Like we have so many shows. We haven't listed them all in a couple weeks, but we're so excited for the no crumbs tour in the fall and the winter. Girls Got Eat.com and you guys can get all this tickets and just like means so much because when I meet our listeners on the street like almost all the time they have like come to a show or they're coming to another show and I just feel like we share this bond.

Like every single time. Like every single time at Boston at least because those are like the elite where they're just Like I came in 2019. I came in 2021. I came in 2023. I'm coming this year. Like, it just means so much. I feel like we all like really share this like experience together.

It never gets lost on me. What an honor is that somebody spends their money and a lot of their time on us. Yeah. I met the hottest couple ever in Santa Barbara. And they're like, we came to the show in Sacramento last year. And I was like, you were so hot out of the reason with you.

Yeah. I want to hear about your weekend. So I had honestly like the best few days. I like cannot believe how great it was. So this is this weird thing. No one that we're friends with who was in town this weekend. It was pretty crazy. Everybody abandoned me.

Like 100% of people left. And so I was like, what am I going to do? But I've been wanting to go to Santa Barbara and Ohio. Santa Barbara is two hours north. And it's like sort of a beach town, like a fancy beach town. And Ohio is inland in the mountains. So Santa Barbara was like really cloudy the day I got there. And it is sort of like a ghost town during the week anyways.

And so I was like, what fuck am I going to do all day to like kill time? I'm like, so bored. I'm like between meals. And so I like looked at the spa. And then it was like last minute. So she was like, do you mind a male therapist. And I was like, I could do that. That's fine.

And like it usually turns me on a lot. So I'm like, that's great. Yeah. So I got there and this guy walks into the room. He's young and so buff and like big muscles. Like big thick nerd glasses. Oh my God. He's like maybe 30.

He did. He looked like a short Superman. And I like laid down on my stomach, whatever. And he was like, do you want like me to focus on anything? I was like, no, great. And he's like, do many pain? I was like, no. And he was like, nothing.

And I was like, I don't carry a lot of tension in my body. And he was like, that's crazy. But he was like so hot. So I put my face in like that butt pillow. And you put your face in the hole. And I like to. In the toilet seat. I like couldn't stop smiling and laughing at how uncomfortable this was because he's like very hot.

And I just, you just walk in. You're just like immediately naked with a person. They get to put their hands on you. It's so, so wild. It's crazy. And like he gets like down to my butt where the oil is. And I don't know. He said something and then I said something.

And then we just started like talking and we talked for the full hour. And I'm always like, how do I stay present during a massage? I don't pay all this money. Like, how do I? And, like, I actually, like, was able to stay present because him and I just, like, laughed and joking around the whole time. But it's so awkward. You don't acknowledge it.

It's so intimate. His hands are all over my body with lube. Yeah, with the lube. Don't forget, you guys, Frayna's who likes her lube massages. It's crazy. And you enjoyed it. I loved it. Okay.

Would you enjoy it if he wasn't hot? You would have been, like, shut the fuck up. I mean, it always says, like, how much talking do you want? Yeah, like an Uber. Like, who says a bunch of talk? I want a full conversation. Like I said to him, like, do you prefer to disassociate when this happens? And he was like, oh, that depends on the client.

He was like, some clients moan a little bit. Rina, that's sexual. And I was like, he wanted you to moan. Some clients moan a little bit. He didn't say that to you. He used the word moan. Yeah, I said like, what? He said make noises and I said moan.

Okay, exactly. Exactly. I was like, he didn't say moan to you. That's the sex. But I was like, what's like some weird stuff people have done? He's like, there are some kind of crazy noises. And I was like, A man walks in here.

Is he weird about it being you because you're hot? Like, I didn't say because you're hot. That would have been sexual harassment. But you said it. I just sussed out her. It was definitely. Another cute line. It's just their hands are all over your body and they're like inches away.

He did the whole butt like nude butt. Yeah. Sometimes they don't do nude butt. And I was just so intimate. We were talking about like his life. He mentioned like some daddy issues and I was like, here's where we're going to be quiet. No. We're here to talk about my issues.

You just start snoring. Yeah. Like, oh weird. I fell asleep. did such a great job. Talk to someone else about your daddy. Yeah, seriously. He like mentioned that he had a girlfriend while we were doing it. And I was like, is this uncomfortable? Like, how does she feel about this? Yeah. I mean, that whole thing is like so crazy to me that your boyfriend, like, lubes people up for a living. How many butts did you touch

today? Yeah, I mean, the same. It's like when a guy, it's like when his girlfriend's touching on all these people every day too, you know, I don't know. I mean, it's professional. It's like anybody that's like, the actors make out with other actors. Yeah. It's part of the job. I have not had a male masseuse in so many years. I'm going to go back to it. I haven't in a long time. It's going back.

Like, it is so intimate. It's sexy. I found myself getting a little jealous when he told me he had a car. Yeah. His palm is in your butt crack and you're like, damn it. I thought I was the only one. Yeah. You're like, do you touch her like this?

Do you tell her about your daddy issues while you rub her attention out? Oh, my God. So that's what I've voiced noted to you and you and Sparkle Eyes. I was excited. We enjoyed it. Anyways. Well, we are going to get into it with tinks. We are so excited for you guys. This is such a fun conversation. We haven't had this in a minute. We've just had a lot of male guest on. But it really is like three girlfriends just chatting about dating. And I've just loved it so much. And you guys are going to love it too. But before we do, I'm going to tell you about AG1. It is important to me. And hopefully you guys that any supplements that you take that I take are of the highest quality. And that's why for years now, three, three years, I have been drinking. AG1 and we really love it for a lot of different reasons. They conduct relentless testing to set the standard for purity and potency. So it really works. You can really trust the formula. Their team is always trying to find better ways to source, test and aim to find the best quality ingredients available. And it is researched and developed by an in-house team of scientists, doctors, and

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For $20 off your Buffy order, visit Buffy.com, and enter G-G-G-E. That's Buffy.com. promo code G-GE for $20 off. Okay. Okay, guys, we are very excited to welcome our guest today. She is a lifestyle creator, advice expert, and the host of the podcast. It's Me Tanks. She has been named one of Forbes's top creators, and she is a New York Times bestselling author of The Shift.

Change your perspective, not yourself. You know her as TikTok's big sister. Please welcome to the show, Tanks. Thanks, guys. Thank you for having me. Nice to be here. We're learning a lot. I'm glad.

We didn't know if Tinks, when the name came about. You've had it since you were 12. Yeah, longstanding nickname. We didn't know you had a water bottle company. Yes, ESWB Emotional Support Water Bottles. Because I made a video in 2020 about this water cup that I loved, and I was so obsessed with it, and it went really viral. And then if you searched Tanks Cup and Amazon, it would come up.

And then so, like, after a year, I started developing my own because I was like, I really want really cute patterns and colors for us to have. Because I feel like a water bottle now is almost like a phone case where you kind of want to have multiple for your mood and your vibe. And like, you need one for the car. You need your like bedside table one. So I'll send you guys home. And okay, so you're a water bottle designer and also a DJ.

A DJ writer. How do you get it all in? Multi-hyphen- it's I'm a true millennial where did you DJ in New York last week Lucy's club yeah it was really fun I DJ with my best friend Lucas we have been best friends for like eight years I met him in San Francisco and we've always loved music and then I mean it's not that deep basically at Coachella last year we were like a little drunk and um you know we were enjoying nature's bounties like all the different boundaries yeah and we were like looking at Sophie Tucker and we were like, you know, they look like they have so much fun.

Like, we should do that. We should get paid to party and go all over the world and party with our friends. And so that's what we decided to do. And less than a year later, we're doing it. So that is so iconic. You know, my favorite non-DJ DJ, besides you now, is Shaq. Yeah. Wait, what does he go by, DJ Diesel?

Yeah. Popped up with that one. People, people, it's a good skill to have. And it's so fun. And I love to party like in a non-ironic way. Like I really do just like I enjoy a party. I always will. It's not like a phase.

It's not like something I'm going to grow out of. Yeah. No matter what happens, if I have kids, whatever. Like I'm always going to love a party. So it's just like a fun skill to have and bring people together. And it's a great way to hang with my community because like so many of them came on Saturday night. We get to rage together.

It's fun. I feel like we say I'm like the DJ, but I'm not actually like behind the booth. You want to be one? Yeah, 100%. Okay. Okay, I have a question for you. Since you say you like to party, you're like, no, really, like, I love to party. Do you consider yourself an extrovert?

No, I'm actually an extroverted introvert. I know you're going to say that. It's like what everybody says. I know. I know everyone does, but it's like I get energy from the right people and I get very tired from the wrong people. I'm so rude about small talk. Like, I can't emphasize this enough.

People think that I'm kidding. My eyes will like start to glaze over. Like, I was born cross-eyed. So, like, sometimes I even feel like I go a little cross-eyed when people, when, if, I sit down and people are like, so where are you from? I'm like, oh, like I start to spasm. Like, I can't. And it's because I'm just, I can't deal with the small talk.

Like, I'm terrible at a cocktail party where I don't know anyone. But if you put me in, you know, in front of a DJ booth, give me a microphone, then we're good, you know? Were you always the girl growing up that said, like, crazy shit? You just could not do small talk? Or did you feel like you were screaming on the inside trying to be, like, quiet, a people pleaser? I didn't really come into myself until I went to college.

I went to an all-girl school that was very strict. the uniform. And I had one best friend. We did everything together. And I had a few other friends, but I wasn't part of a huge group. I grew up in England. And so it was like also a very British school. And I just felt like I had to spread my wings. So I was like, I'm going to go to California. Like I had watched a lot of Laguna Beach and I had watched like the O.C. And I was like, it was like a movie. You know, when they're like, I want to go there. Like it's foreign. Like I feel like foreign. Yeah. I like say by the bell too, which I'm a little older than you. But like I was like, California is a foreign place. It's a different place. Like they do things differently. They're.

they have a really good time. Like, everybody has a convertible. Like, everybody's, you know, kissing a lot of boys. Yeah. Me a virgin at the time. Like, I was like, I need to get myself to California. So I applied to, like, a ton of schools in America. I was like, see you later family.

Go to school in California. And, like, the second my feet hit the ground, I was like, I'm reborn. Oh. And it's like a good, no. I'm so preachy. Like, I turned, and my followers always make fun of me because I, like, everything has to be, like, a lesson. But, like, what I learned a lot is, like, confidence is so fake it to you make it.

Like, I wasn't confident in high school. in high school and then when I got to college, I was like, nobody here knows me. Who's going to call your bluff? Who's going to call my bluff? Like, if I pretend to be confident and fun, like, they'll think I am, and that's exactly what happened. A president of my sorority, like, had the best time,

like a million friends. Yeah. And like, you can be whatever you want. And I'm a big fan of, you know, reinventing yourself and going through different eras and, you know, doing the whole thing. So long winded answer. No, I'm fascinated by people that grew up in all-girl schools and, like, what that does to you?

I loved all girls. Did you love it in it? No, of course at the time. I was like, you're rooting my life. Exactly. Right. It's a terrifying environment to me. But I hear you looking back. You're like, that was dope.

It made me who I am today. Totally. My entire platform is about female friendship and like being a strong woman and like making yourself happy, filling up your cup first. That's what my book is about. Like it's all you can trace it back to the female friendships that I had and how important I feel that they are in life. And I don't think I would appreciate it on the same level had I knock on an all-girls school.

And also, I'm boy crazy now. Like, I cannot imagine how it would have been if I was in high school. I'm actually not boy crazy now. But you know what I mean? If I was in high school, I was very self-conscious in high school. I think the uniform and the fact that it was all girls was kind of like, if I have a zit, who cares? It removes the whole thing. I mean, I had the exact opposite experience.

It took me way longer to arrive at the like, I want to be a girl's girl. I want tons of girlfriends. Like, growing up, I just wanted boys' attention. I wanted to be popular. I want a guys to like me. I had a lot of girlfriends, but I wasn't, like, beating the drum of, like, female empowerment.

Nothing means more to me than my girlfriends. It took me much longer to arrive there. But I like that you're like, I wouldn't be who I am today without it. I think it that way about social media. If I would have had social media in high school and college, I think it would have broken me a little bit.

And I feel so I feel like it's kind of the same thing. Like, looking back, it's like, that's what made you who you are. Nice. Okay, so you're not boy crazy. Are you dating anybody? You're single? I'm seeing someone.

It's very, very casual. It's not. We're not. like exclusive or just like yeah okay how did you guys meet on a dating app okay how do you like do you like using dating apps you found the success or they means to end she's in a day and ad era i watched your thing last night so it was a sponsored post but i still felt like i felt like it was no because it was true as much as possible i tried to line up the truth of the spawn con so last year i was so like moody judy i was so had a really bad attitude about dating and i didn't go on any dates i was just like

obsessed with my ex-boyfriend, who I broke off with. I was like, okay, anything like whatever of course. How long are you together? Only nine months, but like everything with me is like so like, ah, I'm a long time. It's a significant. Anyway, long story, but obsessed with him for the whole year, wouldn't go on dates when you. I was like, oh, the apps are so bad. And they are. Listen, the apps are really, really, really bad. But then I went on this classic, classic millennial, go on a trip to Costa Rica over New Year's. And I like, eat, pray love, like, act a little slutty. And I come back a new woman. And I'm, I'm like, you know what?

I have a choice. Like, I can either let these dating apps fuck me and make me depressed. Or I can learn how to use them to my advantage. This is an app. This is an algorithm made by people who want money. So I can either let that make me depressed or I can find a way to make it work for me. And so I just started being like, for example, on Hinge. I don't know if you guys know about Rose Jail, but there's something called Rose Jail.

I don't know what the real name for it is. But like they put the hot people in Rose Jail. And to get them, you have to buy digital roses and send them, which is humiliating, by the way. First of all, you're going to make me buy a digital flower to send to some guy named Chad who lives in fucking Marvista. Like getting the change. But Chad is 6-3, and so he's in rose jail. But Chad is 6-3, so he's in rose jail. And I was like, oh, that's so cringe.

And then I was like, this coming from the girl who spends $11.99 on a latte, like, I think I can splurge for some roses. For lifelong love. Yes. Totally. So now what I do. is I bought 10 packs of them. I got, I'm rich in roses. I am rich, okay?

I send them out like their candy. I pop those motherfuckers like their M&Ms, okay? I send it out all the time. And it's, yeah. Like, yeah, I'm a bad bitch. I make sense of all. I can afford these roses. And it's like, and I think it were at the point where it's like,

everybody knows that we're in hell together. Like we're waiting through the sludge of the trenches. So it's like if a guy thinks that me sending a rose's hinge, if he's so not clued in. to that fact that obviously he's in rose jail, then I would never be with him anyway. And also, like, I'm not, I can't deal with that beta behavior. So it's like, so to me, it's like, if I send you a rose,

you better accept and, like, write me something funny quick because I bestowed you this honor. So if somebody sends me a rose, am I in Rose jail? No, that means your house. Damn it. But high likelihood, but high likelihood. I'm not. No, yeah, you are.

So is this how you met the guy? Okay. Or is this just a, yeah, I send him a rose. I mean, this is incredible. And I just want to go back to what you said about, like, spending the money, you know, if you have it, obviously. You know, we don't someone overdrafting for roses. But like, it's, I, when I moved here, I was on this mission to really find a partner. This is last year. And I, and I did. And I'm with my boyfriend for about a year. I didn't

mean I'm on a day now. But regardless, it was like my intention and my manifestation. And I paid the premium Raya top tier price, which is not cheap. And that's just one example, like kind of like the rose thing. Like, you feel like, you're like, am I going to pay for this shit? Am I this big of a loser? And then you're like, why would I not? Like I'm paying for all this other stuff. Yeah. I'm spending my time and my energy. You pay for a gym.

Yeah. You pay for a certain seat on a plane. By the way, it's the same as like if you want to take it back to how people used to meet, which is like going out, you pay for the drinks. Like when you go out on a night out with your friends to try and meet a guy, you pay for a million shitty vodka sodas.

It's the same fucking thing. Pay for an Uber to a front. Like I just all I'm saying is like removing the stigma of like, if this is my goal and it costs a little more money, like why do I have a weird threshold on this? Totally. I'm going to spend it somehow. 100%. And what I say to my followers also is we need to take it less seriously because it's so

unsurious. We are at the point where we are like pontificating about digital roses. It's so unsurious. So just do whatever feels good and try to have fun with it because I really think that we're at the elbow of a shift in dating where we are just going into a new time and we're not adjusted yet and it feels uncomfortable and strange and stressful and it feels very personal, but it's not. So don't take it seriously. Well, you talk about your book about getting people off of pedestals and like I think we're embarrassed to buy these roses and said them because you're like well how's this is going to look it's like who fucking cares

what did that guy do today that's so impressive we're all going to be cringe and also like I love the notion not as it pertains to dating but in general of like everything you want is just over the other side of cringe Mountain and it's like everybody who has achieved something great that you could possibly want they got there

because they were like yeah fucking I'm going to go for it like I'm going to do the cringe thing I'm going to post on TikTok I'm going to record the song I'm going to learn to DJ in my 30s like whatever it's like yeah you can sit there and think it's cringe but like you're the one sitting there and they're the people doing it. I love that. That's great. Okay, well what we don't want to do is have basic ass small talk with you about the box theory. No, we already dove in. But you're kind of known for the box theory and I really wanted to chat with you about your feelings on it now and if you still

believe it wholeheartedly. And then also we have a reverse box theory in the book, which we we want to dive into. I always wanted to write a book. I went to school for English, like I had a creative writing and you know, I got my master's in journalism and I didn't know what I wanted to write it about. And as my content started to develop, I just thought, why don't I put all my theories, which other girls seem to like in one place and kind of write about the mistakes that I made in my 20s. And it's just the book that I wish I had when I was 25 because I was like very lost and felt very upset and alone and behind. And I didn't know how to be happy by myself.

And I wish that I had an influencer who I thought was cool to. be like, oh, well, I'm single and I'm happy. It's okay. You're allowed to be. That's normal and fine and good and you should. Box theory, I'm shocked at how much it's like retained its, you know, notoriety or whatever. But for anyone listening who doesn't know, it's my theory that when a guy meets a girl, this is cis hetero relationships in a romantic setting, he puts her into one of three boxes.

He wants to date her. He wants to talk up with her or he wants nothing to do with her. Okay. last one is easy you should be able to tell when he wants nothing to do with you where people get confused is between hookup and dating box now the thing is you cannot switch from box to box so if you're in the hookup box you can talk about jesus and golden retrievers and you can not have sex with him for five months and he still won't want to date you vice versa if you're in the date box and you get blackout drunk on your first date and throw up on his shoes if he wants to date you, he's still going to want to date you. It's just different for men and women. Reverse box theory is more of like a mindset trick. I noticed throughout my 20s and in myself a lot as well is that before girls would even meet guys, they would put them in one box. I want to date him. He's everything. He's marriage material type. Future trip like crazy. Future trip like crazy.

Like you see three pictures of him on a dating app and you're like, we are going to have a June wedding. And you're like, you don't know his last name. And it's bad. It's like, it's a silly, you know, I'm making it sound silly, but like, it's very damaging because then girls go into first dates thinking this is an interview. I have to be perfect. Anything I do is going to fuck this up. Like, I'm on edge. And they don't for once stop and say, wait, has this guy asked me any questions? Wait, my drink's been empty for half an hour. He hasn't asked if I go refill it. Like, he didn't remember that I told him that I'm a nurse. Because they're so blinded by the one box. You've already decided. He has to be my husband. He has to be my boyfriend. And when you make that shift

internally and you go into a date thinking this is a vibe check that's it it's so powerful and it makes it more fun yeah i like i love the advice in this book because it just deescalates all these situations yeah it really makes you walk into a date and go i'm just going to see if i enjoy this i'm going to see if i like this person yeah yeah yeah but by the way men agree or don't agree with box theory based on their maturity and intellect so okay have people like debilts i have validated box theory on TikTok, like gotten hundreds of thousands of views and said this is absolutely correct. Yeah. Because my feeling is like, okay, if I withhold sex, I could jump boxes, but it's like, we always

talk about how like, women have all these stories of like, he wore me down, you know, like men can jump boxes for you, but like you just don't hear men and things and stuff like that. It's like for that, my thing is like women date like venture capitalists and men take like stock brokers. Men are like, what is it today? Like I see her and I value her on this stock today. Women are like, well, in three to six months, if I put an improvement plan and I invested money here and I did this, and I think I could make it work. I could scale this company. And it's like, why? Like, I'm not a rehabilitation center. I'm not a therapist. I'm not someone's mommy. Like, we've got to stop thinking like that because you can't date someone for their potential.

Well, I don't want to. Absolutely. But all I'm saying is we know so many stories of where women didn't like them at first and then they married the dude. You know. I was just talking about about this yesterday on Instagram. Someone was like, so you think that women can grow to be attracted to a guy. And I was like, abs so fucking loatly. All the time we see it. All the fucking time. Men, like, you've never heard him say, and then she was super funny and I all of a sudden wanted to fuck her. And then my penis got up. No, you don't hear it. We talked about it with Jared because we were like, this is a story that you heard a wedding. You're like, well, at first, you know, we were just friends. I didn't find him attractive. And here we are today. And no guys ever been like,

well, at first, I didn't want to fuck her at all. Right, right. Right. And I realized how funny. She was. Right. People are listening and they think they jump boxes and I'm sure there's exceptions to everyone. No, there's always an exception. And I don't mean this in a mean way, but like when people write these really long accounts of how they jumped a box, they're like, and then I like hooked up with him casually for two years and he finally dated me. And I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm like, okay, you jump boxes, like, good for you. Two years. Was it worth the two years? You proved me wrong. Ooh, yeah, you got me. Like, okay. I don't want to manipulate. my way into the date box.

And by the way, we've all been in the date box. And like, it doesn't happen like every day, obviously. But when you're in the date box, you remember how fucking stupid, you know what I mean? You have those moments where you're like, oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like. And all those other times you were like, I was fucking playing myself. I was kidding myself when I was like, well, I guess it's not weird that he didn't text me for six days. You're like, you're in the hookup box. And that's why I love the theory so much.

and it's so freeing because it just like empowers women. Like be empowered. By the way, if you're okay with being in the hookup box, that's okay. Yeah, totally. Stay in the box. Get yours. I like what you said about waiting two years because we actually in particular, I know one person that's just like she's married him now.

She waited him out for years of him not introducing her to his family, his friends, like not feeling like she was really a part of his life. He like went on a trip and was talking to some girl on Instagram. She found out. Like she just waited them out for years. And now they're married. And then I'm like, you won't be taking the best years of my life waiting for somebody. It's everybody's choice.

I can't feel like that day to day for a month. No, no, no, no, same. I'm very independent. I couldn't do it. But, like, if it works for someone, it works for them. Like, no Teno Shade. I think that it's hard to like, like, you meet somebody and you're just like, I'll wear him down. Like, he'll see how great I am and maybe I just want to sex with him. Like, he's going to see that I'm worth dating.

And it's, I like how you talk about it in the book where you're just like, you got to just go live your life. You got to live your life. You have to live your life. You have to be the main character of your life. The second you start to wait around for a guy or anybody, you are elevating them to a higher status in your own life, which is like really sad. And I don't say that from a judgmental place. I say it because I did it for an entire decade of my life in my 20s.

And I feel sad and I wish that I could go back and I could be like, maybe he doesn't like you. Like it's okay. There's a lot of guys who do. And if you would just go see them or better yet, go have fun with your friends and do anything else than sit around and be sad about this guy who does not like you, then yeah. Absolutely. I love the theory of match the energy. If that's what somebody's giving you, match the energy. Match the energy. Match the energy back. Yeah. I think that we all think I'm going to lean in harder. I'm going to show this how great I am because I am so great. And I like that's a fool's errand. I also, you just said this and I also like to reiterate. Like we've all done this. Like, we've all done this. I'm able to speak on it. Like, I always want to make sure. I mean, I'm 40 years old. We never want to come across like, you silly girls. We're like, no, no, you are us. I only know this because I've done this a hundred times. I quite literally wrote the book on this because I did it so many fucking times. Like that's the point of it is like, I'm. I. I don't know. I. I'm. I

It's not from judgment. It's just like if I save one girl like six months of time, that is like, that's a win for me. Like that's, that's, as lame as it sounds, that's really what I was put on earth to do is to like save women time. I love it. I do think as you get older, it does get easier to walk away from these situations. Even recently. I've known this guy for a couple of years. I really like him.

I care about him. I can see like a really great future. And he's just not going to date me. He's just not. And our friend's wife said to me, that guy's not going to take you home to his parents. Like they're conservative. They have a certain type of light. Like he's not going to take home the girl who owns the vibrator company.

Yeah. And it felt like as I've gotten older, it was easier to just acknowledge that and walk away from the situation. Totally. Instead of like being depressed and pining over it for too long. Knowing where you stand is so powerful. Because then you can make an informed decision as to whether you're having fun or not or if it's worth it for you or not.

And we have to be real with ourselves. And then you can have a funeral. We want to talk about funerals. This is maybe arguably my favorite part of that. book. I just really, I like the closure you couldn't provide yourself. Yeah, I personally believe we give ourselves closure with a situation. This is not for if you are dating someone for two years and you break up, whatever. I'm talking about situationships. You're saying someone casually, it's undefined. You're probably in the hookup box, whatever. And either they ghost you or they are breadcrumbing

you, whatever it ends. Like, you need to hold a funeral. You need to get yourself together. And like, the sillier you make it the better. So what I say is, like go buy yourself a treat a latte a cake a bottle of wine go home light a candle put on hallelujah the song that marissa died to in the oc and literally like hold a funeral and be like it is so sad that jonathan died or whatever his name is like it's so sad that you know chad from hinge passed away yeah that's like really really sad and take a day to fully mourn and then you don't think about him again because we waste so much time thinking about guys we never dated so much time and it's like kind of addictive again speaking from experience not judgment it's kind of addictive

because you're like you're at work you're like on your phone you're like refreshing his dumb Instagram that has nine posts you know he's not going to post and you're like but what if what if no what if he's dead yeah he had the funeral and i think you know not that like death is funny he he he but like you can talk about him as if he's dead with your friends which is funny Totally. RIP, like rest is soul though, you know, like, I think that's a way, yes, we don't wish death in anybody, but to even like have him post-mortem with your friends too. It's just good to like draw a line in the sand and kind of like pull your shit together,

you know, sometimes and just be like, enough is enough. Like, this is where we're going to stop because you can go on and on and on. And then all of a sudden you've spent like three months kind of seeing someone and then another three months like thinking about him. And I always think to myself, like, in any situation, in a year from now, how do I want to have dealt with this? And then act that way. And it's like, you're not going to remember this guy.

Like, trust me. If it's just like a random thing you're just doing to, like, keep yourself entertained, like, it doesn't matter that it ended. Just like move on. The sooner you move on, the more good shit will come into your life. I love the theory of like how in a year do I want to look back and see myself? Because how many of us, years later down the road, look back and go, I cried so much for that person. I was so miserable. I journaled so much. I tortured everybody in my life.

And how lovely would it be once to look back and be like, I actually did what I would have hoped I did? Totally. You're proud of yourself. And again, like, one of the nice parts about getting older is you can kind of like gut check is like, does this matter? Does this not matter? And like when I think about the guys that I cried over in my 20s and I like literally don't remember their names. Like I literally have to look on my list to people I had sex with and I'm like, that was his name. That is so funny. Like, yeah, I mean, updated for, you know, 20s. 20 plus years now at this point. And it's like you really literally forget.

Like I'll be in my contacts and I'm like, no. Who is Arthur? No, literally. It's just filled a whole journal up about Arthur. And I was upset about Arthur. When I really ran the tape, I was like, oh my God, I was 27. Oh, yeah. And just tall skinny eye with a big dick.

Like, it all started to come flooding back. And I was like, I had forgotten that a person existed that I even dated in Arthur. It's wild. And when I was watching Sex in the City when I was growing up, I thought that was the most outrageous, unrealistic episode when she's like, I fucked you before. I was like, that would never happen. And like, I literally, where was I recently? I was like talking to this guy.

And I was like, I've hooked up with this guy before. And I was like, oh my God. Like, I didn't have sex with him, but I was like, I've literally made out with this person. And I was like, where have I met you? And he was like, our friend had a situation where she matched with this guy on Hinge or whatever day nap. And he felt familiar to her, but she was like, no, I probably just seen him on Hinge before, you know.

And they exchanged numbers. The last text he had sent her was a Zoom link during COVID for a 2020 COVID date that they did and never spoke again. She hated him on the Zoom date. And the last text was the Zoom. I was like, oh, my God. And she was like, I've already broken up with you. That is so funny. You have to break up with somebody again?

Oh, the Zoom dates. Do you do those during COVID? Yeah. I did a lot of FaceTime dates. Yeah. I did one with a guy. He's on TV. He's not that famous, but like he's on TV.

we were like having a FaceTime for probably like an hour and then he was like do you want to see something and I was like yeah and he flipped the camera and he was stroking his dick and I was like I was like we weren't talking about anything sexual we were like crazy this is the first time you guys talked yeah you want to see something yeah what did you do I was like oh okay I was like damn cool like good for you like I'm gonna go now Will you tell us after her phone? I got off the phone right away. How long did you watch him jerk off? Raina. I would have had to linger for like a 20 seconds. I'm hitting record just in case.

So the worst part is I actually met up with him after that. I'm trashed, but it was like really hard times. It was good. I did disgusting things during COVID. No, I was like, it was really bad. But all bets are off before I became an influence. I had this job. I was out of work.

I was like literally going crazy. So I was like, whatever. Yeah, I'll go get coffee with you. 25 minutes late. Ugh. He was 25 minutes late? Yeah. Okay.

And then he was like the biggest dick ever. And I was like I... We were just so desperate during COVID. No, it's wild. Did like a Zoom recording with Ashley and a guest and then I blew him like two seconds later. Like as soon as we moved off to Zoom. The first person that was in your home. The first person during COVID, it was like in May of the quarantine.

And I was like, I'm going to suck off this stranger. I know. I remember doing a Zoom date with the guy that I was dating right before COVID and like, I like, I like did a contour. I'm like, what am I doing? My parents, I was with my parents for those three months. And they were like, why are you doing your makeup? I was like what? Just leave me alone.

I know. I like shaved my bush for what. Like what I thought I was gonna show him on Zoom. I used to put on perfume for Zoom dates. Because it's just like, I don't have to live more. I used to fuck my neighbor during COVID. Yeah.

Couldn't even string together enough words in a sentence to make me like interested in anything he ever said. He was the worst. It happened. So you said something that was interesting. You broke up with somebody and then you were like kind of obsessed with them. Yeah.

I'm like still obsessed with him. I think I always will be. Was it you just knew it wasn't? We knew we weren't. It wasn't like a long term thing. But it was like something. times you just have a chemistry with someone that's like that's like that's what you miss like the chemistry is amazing yeah okay but like the banter like the whole package of like the chemistry together it's just

we're not right for each other i think you know i have the utmost love and respect for him and like i'm a virgo and i'm very like regimented and like prideful but i feel like it's almost easier for me to be like i'm always going to like be obsessed with him or have a crush on him because he's just like that guy but it doesn't mean that it worked out, you know? That is, it's just such a funny concept. It's such a funny concept, yeah. Having those feelings about an ex and you're like, but do I work up with them? Yeah, and it's like, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I was like such a miserable bitch for a year to all my friends. I was like, you guys need to put this. And they were like, I can't. Like I was Carrie. I mean, that when her friends are like, stop talking about him. And then I was like, did you meet him on social?

No, I met him in real life. No, mute him. Did you mute him? Oh, I thought you said me too. Yeah. I was. Yeah, but like you've always got that cheeky finsta. I have stopped going on my fintzda.

It's been honestly months. When I got a new phone, I just like lost access to it. And then I created a new one and I like put a couple of people on there and I was like, I don't care about any of you. No. So I did an entire podcast episode called Delete Your Finsta about like how it's so damaging for us. Like I am the worst. Like I'm back with a vengeance. I'm so hypocritical.

It's really addictive. It's really addictive. And it's like I have it for two reasons like to stalk boys and then also to. to like follow people who make me feel terrible about myself, like models and whatever. So it's like double whammy bad. Our friend has one that's so funny. She just follows every like reality show person

and all their extraneous. It's like her. I like that. I like that. I like that. I like that. On her main. Yeah.

Yeah. No, no. No. So she'll go into her fence to just to catch up on like the most random D-list reality show stars. So I like that because I actually have two. I have my like stalking one. And then I have my fashion one where I just follow like.

everything and it's like beautiful and I more think about it like a Pinterest. Right. Because I don't want to have it on my main. So it's like that for you page is more of like my real's true self. But like my main is obviously like my friends and whatever. I try to keep my main just to like my friends and people that I actually have met in real life. But still my for you page is like really weird on Instagram. It's like I've been talking about getting a boob job a lot to my friend.

So it's like all boobs on my feed right now. We know the best. I have a guy for you. Okay. There we go. He literally. He is the best. Okay.

Amazing. Yeah, Dr. Barrett. And he's great on social. He did my jaw lipo. That's why my face is a little paralyzed right now. That's great. When did you do it? Four weeks ago?

Oh, wow. But that's normal. You know the get a little paralysis in your face. I've talked about every week. Yeah. Yeah, he's the best. He's the best. Okay, so will you, do you get a lot of DM slides?

Like, will you entertain the DMs? From guys? Yeah. No, I don't think that straight men think it's a safe space. They lurk, but it's like not safe for them there. Okay. I occasionally will, but not like any real. ones. Nothing's ever come up with it. You have more of like a female following? It's like 97%. I'm 97. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's so funny. Girls gays and nays. Thank God. Honestly, I like it. Our pages are so positive. People are so nice to us. Everything I post, everybody's just like, yes, girl, fire emoji, go off. There's never, if one man dares to comment something, everybody will attack them. No. It's crazy. Like, we get hate here and there, but it's not on like our Instagram. Like, people are really nice. This isn't a challenge if anyone's listening. But like, you know, these poor girls who's like at one point, ever worked at Barstool or whatever it, like, just got all those guys in their orbit. It's not their fault, but it's just like we never, we've cultivated this female audience for six years. It's really so special. Yeah, that's what we want. So nice. Can we talk about sex a little

bit? Let's do it. Okay. So I like the chapter in the book about prioritizing your own pleasure and sex. And I think so many of us, myself included, like, in the middle of a sexual experience or just like, how do I look? Is this person enjoying what I'm doing to them? Is my technique good? Like, Or did they like this? And like, it's so hard to be like, wait, do I like this? Am I enjoying this? So can we talk about the chapter in the book? Yeah.

I think, again, it's so from experience. It's like I didn't really start having good sex until I was like 30. And I, again, really hope that anyone who listens to me or reads my book or whatever can like try to implement this earlier. I think that there's so much shame surrounding female pleasure. I think there's a huge orgasm gap. I think that we are just not. taught to advocate for our own pleasure at all. And the crazy thing is, once you start doing that,

you actually become hotter. That's like the kicker of all this is like once you actually start to learn how to talk about sex and like ask the questions and communicate, it gets better. And you become like so much infinitely hotter to whoever you're having sex with. What was sex life in your 20s versus your 30s? It was just so performative. Like it was completely based on what I thought I needed to look and sound and feel like. And that's, that's like a horrible experience because you're so in your head and you're not in your body. Orgasms are so mental for women too. And if you're thinking about like, oh my God, wait, how should I sound?

Like, wait, what should I do? I read that thing. Like I have to do this and that and this and that. And like, you don't have a shot in hell to orgasm. It's no wonder why. I think the stat is like 68% of men orgasm the first time with a new female partner and like 9% of women do. 9% of women do. 9 seems high.

60s. 68 seems really low. I know. I agree. We did a great episode with Vanessa Marin and she's a sex psychotherapist. She's fantastic. We talked about, yeah, you should have her on. Yeah, you should have guests. Yeah, if you want to talk about orgasms. We talked about how women just don't prioritize this at all and we prioritize males pleasure. And I think it is getting better the more conversations you have about this stuff. But there's a huge gap. It is. But like even anecdotally when I speak to my followers who I think are a group of pretty like engaged, like thoughtful, intellectual, like women who want it all, a lot of them are still like, Like, I can't, I don't know how to work out of it. I'm scared to ask. It's been two years. He's never gone down on me.

And I'm like, this is like a crisis in my opinion. I'm not trying to be some like, oh, like I love sex. Like let's talk about all the time. It's all rooted in like shame. And it's all rooted in women not viewing their needs on the same level as men. And then so like if that's your relationship with a guy in the bedroom where it's like, it's always he comes first. It's always like, oh no, like it's taking me too long. Don't worry about it.

How do you think that's going to translate? your life. Like that will be for your career too. Like it's going to be like, oh, well, your career matters less. Or like, oh, well, you're, you want to go there on vacation. I want to go here. You matter less. Like, it's all connected. And I want to empower women to feel like they can ask for what they want in the bedroom. And that's just normal. Yeah. And everyone's goal should be that you both get off. Totally. So if you're with somebody that doesn't even cross their mind, I mean, that's kind of crazy to me. Like when you're in like a strong, healthy relationship, with a partner that cares about your pleasure.

Like, if he does come first, he's like, well, what can I do? If they just get up and that's it, it's a huge red flag to me. Or the, did you come? Did I sound like I came? Oh, well, yeah. I mean, that's like, grow up. No, it's crazy. What do you say to somebody that says my man hasn't gone down on me in two years?

I mean, it breaks my heart. I know. It's difficult because I think when you're that deep in, it's incredibly daunting subject to brooch. Absolutely. And so that's really tough. if you've done something for that long and it's just you've never brought it up you send him this podcast you send him this podcast or you say like I really want to try this or like I was watching this it really turned me on I want you to do this like I'm not whatever you have but it's like I'm not

diminishing how daunting that task is which is why I really encourage girls to like in the beginning stages make it known like no I didn't come like no that didn't work for me if you don't do it from the onset, it's very, very difficult to change. It's true. And we do believe you can change it. You can wrap things in positivity and say, you know, I love what we're doing. Here's what would enhance it for us even more. Right. This thing would be really fun for us together. But yeah, if you start from the beginning, it is definitely less backpedaling to do. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, and again, I think you'd love talking to Vanessa Marin, but we talked, the whole episode was about faking orgasms and like, what do you do when you're in a marriage and you've

been doing it for 10 years or whatever. It's like crazy to have to tell them. Remember I was listening to that couple fight at the hotel in San Diego. And I, and I, I was supposed to meet Raina in the lobby, and I was like, I'm going to be late. This couple just started fighting. And I was like going to listen to I felt like if it got dangerous, I would call down. Because I've actually done that before. It's scary. And they're screaming back and forth.

And then she was like, when's the last time you ate my pussy? And I was like, oh, Raina, I'm going to be late. I have to see this through. I was like, I support this wholeheartedly. And it was so funny. And he's trying to recall. And it was just like the funniest fight to listen to. And then they were silent.

And I only can assume that he was eating your pussy. And that's what I hope happened. I have like a kind of an out there. I feel like most of my theories are kind of like really backed up by real thought and it's like no this is the actual box theory and it's like I don't really talk about this one because it's it's for me personally it's not for like are you debuting a theory here no I just like think that guys are split into two types like those who love eating pussy and those who don't and it's like I know who I'll end up with and it's like you can tell like it's hard to get the ones that don't like to do it to do it just but I'm so. I'm so. on my like shit now that I would just be so turned off by that. Like I don't think I would ever be even be in a relationship with a guy who wasn't obsessed with doing it. It seems a little stunted and just like.

Because again it goes back to like, do you love women? Like do you like, if you're not turned on by the female orgasm, like, then that to me is like a red flag. But like there are women that like don't like sucking dick. I know. So that's what I was supposed to say. But it's different because of the orgasm inequality. Yeah.

Because when he's having sex, penetrative. sex, he's coming 100% of the time. Yeah. And I also just think it's like one of those cases where there's a double standard. And like I don't give a fuck. Like sometimes like there's been enough inequality and women have been through enough shit where sometimes I just say to my followers like I'm just, I'm sorry I can't explain this one away.

Sometimes it's not equal. And in the case of oral sex, I don't think it is. Well, it's also not the same mechanism. Yeah. Yeah. It's not the same mechanism. You're choking on something. Your eyes are literally.

Yeah. I love second deck more than anybody. They don't call it a job for nothing. Right. But you're like your eyes are choking. You're gagging. It's a lot of work. Well, listen, we could line up 100 dudes and guys that are like, oh, don't be a pussy. Like, I just know who you are. You're not my kind of guy.

I know it to be true. I know it wholeheartedly in my soul. I've never dated a guy that didn't want to go down to me. But it's very funny because then there is that line of they're too eager. And Nikki Glazer does a bit about this. It's in her standoff special. She posts a clip recently. The guys that talk about it too much. And they're like, I'll eat it. I'll eat your pussy. It's like, no, not you. No, no, yeah. Yeah. That's so right. That's so right.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. Because there's like a healthy enthusiasm. But there's the guys who are like, let's call them Evolved Chads, where they are like in the mix enough where they know that we're talking about this. And so they are like, I actually know one. Yeah. And he's like my friend, but he's always like, I do it first thing. And I'm like, okay, but do you.

To earnest. Yeah. Yeah. But I love that theory and I stand by it. Okay. This is going to be like a fighting last words. But I don't think I would ever like be with a guy who I had to ask to do it. I don't think that that's a question.

crazy thing. I don't think we want to like beg people to like worship our body parts. No. We should want to be intimate with each other and please each other. Again, because like if you've been with people who do that, then you know it's possible. So you're like, well, if this isn't it, then it's just a compatibility thing and that's okay. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It's like it's just a compatibility thing. Some people are less sexual. I think that, you know, I often forget having grown up on the East Coast in a very liberal Jewish family, like people grow up in extreme religious situations. For sure. They don't want to talk about this stuff. For sure. Maybe that's just not your match.

Oh, 100%. Yeah. This is the new box theory. Like, I feel like it's like Tinks is updated. Box theory is actually about eating pussy. It's like if he doesn't eat your pussy with that. That's got to be in the episode. Box theory.

Can we get some press on this? I wonder if Simon and Schuster will buy that book. Tinks updated her box theory on girls going to talk about us. Titch it. Yeah. It doesn't be box theory. Or eating box theory. It's just eating box theory.

You heard it here first. I love that. I really want to like hype this book because I love the person. perception shifting and you the chapters are short and there's good takeaways and you really just talk about how to like change your outlook and it is so much more about just like do I enjoy this am I even fun am I finding myself worth do I have friends in a life that I like and that's the kind of stuff we talk about all the time it's not like a means to finding a partner it's like a means to enjoying yourself along the way and I think you just have like a lot of really fun takeaways you know

if you start with like I can change him to shift it to like why would I want to things like that I just there's a lot of really good takeaways in this book Even at the beginning when you were talking about reinventing yourself in college, I just think that's so important. And we get asked the question all the time, how can I be confident or how can I have main character energy or how can I reinvent myself? And I just love that you did it. And you can always do it. And you can always start it. It's really great if you go to college and you're far away. It's great if you move away. These are great opportunities, but you don't necessarily have to. You can just do a little thing, like a little trip wire into it. Like I believe in that stuff.

Like I know it sounds so stupid and silly, but like if you go get a new haircut or like if you, like go get a cool outfit or if you, even if you move apartments, like take those opportunities to refresh and be like, what do I want for this next era of my life? You start a new job. I don't know. You get a new fucking amazing pico. You can use that to get into your next era. It's very available. And I really, really, really believe in faking it until you make it. I love that. Except your orgasms, except your orgasms. Well, Tinks tell everyone where they can find you, get the book, whatever you want to plug your podcast. I'm at T-I-N-X on all platforms.

My podcast, It's Me Tinks, is available everywhere you get your podcasts. And my book, The Shift, is available wherever you get your books. Okay. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat.com for tour tickets, new merch, all the things. Girls Got E Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash has, Rainis, Rina's, Rina, Doc Greenberg, and Vibes Only.com for all the sex toys and all the things and subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with the friend, get Tinks's book.

And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.