Girls Gotta Eat - F*ck More, Cry Less 2020

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

It's our last episode of the year (and DECADE nbd), so we're doing the most -- recapping what we learned this year in relationships and self-care, sharing our goals for 2020, comparing where we were at the beginning of the decade vs. now, doling out some follow-your-dreams advice, discussing haters, and more. We're also reading your hilarious 2020 resolutions, recapping Christmas at the Hesseltines, AND we have a very special first-time surprise guest. Hope you enjoy and happy new year! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: The Pill Club: Go to thepillclub.com/gge to get your first birth control care package. Buffy: For $20 off all Buffy bedding, visit buffy.co and enter code GGE. Stitchfix: Go to stitchfix.com/gge to try it with no styling fee + an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box. ThirdLove: Go to thirdlove.com/gge now to get 15% off your first purchase. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This was probably my favorite one we got of all of them, Fuck More Cry Less, 20. That's a vibe. That's not amazing? Yes. I love her. And here's another gray one liner. Recycle more plastic and not my exes.

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Coming to you from Delaware. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. No, it's not New Year's yet. Almost. Well, it depends on when you're listening to it. But it is the last episode of the year.

We Made It Fam 2019. Oh my God. Thanks for listening. It is 50, 40 degrees, a little hazy. It's really come around, though. It was really foggy this morning and wet. Yeah. Now it's sunny.

It's been nice. It's sunny Christmas. All right, guys. Made it through Christmas. It's the very end of the year. Yep. Second New Year's episode. Yeah.

Ever of the podcast. We are going to be recapping the entire decade. No, I'm just kidding. This is going to be a 10-hour episode. What are you most excited about? 2014? 2014 2010 for sure

No we're going to recap the year a little bit Talk about the new year Goals for the new year Talk about the holiday We have a special guest coming in a few And we're going to play a game And then we're going to do a segment

With all your resolutions Which are hysterical I can't stop I can do a whole episode about that Yeah we could do We ask you guys for your new year's resolutions Like your funny ones Yeah. How do we know you all want to lose weight? I want to lose weight too.

But you're all perfect. She's like, not me. I stay ready, so I don't have to get ready. Not me. But you know what? I don't care. I ate an entire loaf of bread yesterday. You know what? I don't know if I've seen you eat as much as you did yesterday on Christmas Day. That was wild. I was like, this little girl. I'm really not okay. What you ate at breakfast? I was like, damn, okay, Raina.

And then you were like, I'm not really hungry for dinner. And then you got a whole plate and then got seconds. Lee made salmon, okay, and your mom made mac and cheese, I couldn't stop. I feel like my organs are going to start shutting down. Do you ever feel like that? No, because you never eat like that. I eat a ton. My heart will start racing. I know, like, I know I'm eating too much of my heart starts racing and my braggs

tight. Like, I'm like, this went to my tities. Nothing else can fit inside of mine. Your brother made an amazing breakfast yesterday. He made a casserole with vegetarian sausage. He's the breakfast thing. But anyway, I wanted to mention that we did. if you're new here, welcome.

The very last episode of last year, I think it was actually a New Year's Eve. We did How to Make 2019 Your Bitch was the episode, or make 2019 your bitch, something along those lines. And we talked about body stuff, career stuff, toxic friendships, relationships. We kind of covered a lot of ground. So we don't want to repeat ourselves and double up on those topics. So that kind of stuff, that was a great episode. And a lot of those things of like our goals for this year,

which I feel like have been accomplished. and then a full episode on body goals. It was called body goals. Weight loss and fitness and all that kind of stuff. So then that was early 2019 as well. So if those are kind of topics you're interested, we covered them. Also, I love the friendship stuff we did.

We've done a couple other friendship episodes since that about toxic relationships and friendships and cutting people out of your life that I love. So check all those out also. Yeah. I'm excited about today. Okay. About recapping our year and what we think

and we feel I have some stuff to say about men that I'm excited about. Okay. My own thoughts and beliefs on my own thoughts and beliefs. I'm excited to talk about myself. Every week I'm excited to talk about myself. Yeah. So we're on the farm in Delaware for, this is my second year at the Hustlet Times for Christmas. You guys, I just love your family so much.

Everybody's just like so much fun and so laid back. But what I really love about being here, I feel like it's the ugliest I ever look. I really lean into being disgusting. Who cares? I don't care. Yeah. It's just, I feel like I'm uglier here than I am with my own family. I came in with a look.

You came in with your hair extensions in. Like, day one, you look different than you do now. Systematically. Day one to day three has been a glowdown is what it's. It's been 48-hour glow-down. I have no makeup on. I'm wearing the same pants for three days in a row. I did change my underpants.

I showered. No hair extensions, no makeup. I brushed my teeth. I think you look great. Thank you. I thought you were glowing last night at Christmas dinner. I still glowed it up there. Let's talk about the appetizer competition.

I think they know people like her dying to know. did Stephanie beat me this year. Okay, yeah. So again, if you're not totally familiar with the rivalry and the Hesseltine appetizer contest, every year for Christmas Eve, everybody makes an appetizer. We have family and friends over and we vote and there's usually, there's a winner. We've done it differently. This year we just did like first, second, third place.

And we've done it in the past where it's like best hot appetizer, best cold appetizer. And what happened last year was like Raina thought came in like Guns Blay, like I'm going to make, I'm going to win this. And she didn't know how hard people went. She had no idea. She threw together a dip. And I was like, oh, honey. In my defense, there was corn and bacon.

And what else was in there? Callions and like sourcreens. Oh, the dip was great. It was great. But I just didn't know the people. I didn't know how creative people got. Yeah. Like people were like stuffing things,

roasting things. I don't want to make it next year. I already planned it. I didn't know there was seafood involved. Right. A lot of seafood because I mean, my family is Pescatarian. My parents are.

And we also just love seafood as a family. But last year what happened was Stephanie, which my brother's girlfriend, did this like artichoke spinach dip in a tree that she was like with brushing it with this butter. I mean, it was in the shape of a fucking Christmas tree. And it was like wild. All right.

Well, I brought it this year. Your appetizer, it should have won. Thank you. I got this recipe from like taste made, not recipes, I don't use recipes, which Ashley knows now. Yeah.

Go rogue. Yeah. I saw they were like cutting the tops off Parker House rolls and just like hollowing them out to the like little kind of cups and you just fill them with whatever. So I filled them with meatballs and tomatoes and somebody's doing like cheeseburgers in them. I think it's like so adorable. You just cut them in half. You brush it with garlic butter with parsley and bake it. It's so good.

I think it was more to that. You put it like I need to back up. You're really glossed over it. You made meatballs like made full handmade meatballs like you were putting them. Like you made meatballs. Like you made meatballs seared them. Put them in these little roll cups. put a bunch of other shit on them, then put cheese on them, then baked them.

I mean, they were so, so delicious. Like, even my brother was like, Raina should have won. Yeah, I didn't win. I lost. Okay, now I've decided how you win in this family. Okay, first of all, it was a mistake. I should have done meat. I didn't even think about that.

Yeah, but I wanted that. You love meatballs. Also, hot tip, use white bread soaked to milk instead of breadcrums. Excellent for meatballs. Yeah, it's really moist. They were so good. I got third place to two shrimp appetizers. Now I know what you people like.

Shrimp wins. Got your shrimp. Who won last year? I don't know. Your dad did stuffed peppers last year. Listen. He didn't deserve it last year either. He won this year.

Why does he have to stuff it? He didn't win this year. No, he didn't win at all. The shrimp? I thought the shrimp toast won. That was Matt. Oh, Matt. Yeah.

But I think that maybe Matt won because everybody knew he was going to propose to Stephanie. So he proposed. He's engaged. I'm so happy. He's off the market ladies. He's off. Sorry, ladies. Do not sign to my T.M.

I'm asking my brother's single. Please, I swear to God. He's sliding to mine, though. Yeah, he wanted to propose with all of our family around, and Stephanie's mom and her sisters were there, and we were like trying to think of how to do it, and I called him over when I tallied the votes every year, and I was like, hey, you won, just FYI. So maybe when you win, you want to be like,

I'm going to, like, say a little something. And then that's when he did it. It was really nice to be there for it, really special. I was so glad to be included in it. And somebody asked me the other day, they're like, why is everybody getting engaged in Christmas? It's like, what a better time. Because families are out.

Everyone's there. It's definitely a thing. I mean, we talked about last week with Yonis, and my parents got engaged, I think, a day after Christmas. It's just, it's a nice, it's like a happy time of year. People say that they wouldn't want that. I don't, I don't know why you wouldn't.

I don't know. Like, I think Valentine's Day is a little cheesy. I like the, I like the, I mean, everybody's different with how. I think some people want to be a little more private. Like, I love the idea of my whole family being there. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, guys, Stephanie showed me up for the second year in a row. She did. She got engaged. She got engaged. How am I going to compete with that? All I just make meatballs this year. We didn't even say, you got third. Yeah, she didn't even place.

So you did win. She did get engaged, but she did. You did beat her. I tallied the votes. She didn't get a lot of votes. At least people like my meatballs. The shrimp toast soup was not the best. Who would you voted for?

I voted for you. Who would you have given second and third for? Who would you have? I did. I did. I did. You keep saying like in over, second and third.

Oh, I mean, I gave second to who got second. Buck, Saviche. That was good. Buck, of court,

Buck, it's like you, Buck Fox. You would look at him and be like, how does that guy even know what Saviche is? Right? Wait,

you're so right. His nipples are pierced. How does you know how to make Saviche? That's a Vichet was so good. Guys, my dad made stuffed shells. Come on, dad. I feel like the number one thing about appetizer is you have to be able to eat it with your hands. To me, he stuffed something every year.

It's so weird. It's like his thing. It's all his brand. He's done so many years of stuffed vegetables and whatnot. And this year he was like, what do I got shells? Fucking, I'm just going to stuffing him. He didn't care at all. He didn't even participate.

It was like a platter of stuffed shells. I was like, this is not an appetizer. This is the entree. Right? But he's two. Giant amount of food. I was so full. Yeah.

That was amazing. People have definitely tuned out. They've definitely turned the episode off. I'm sorry. We're going to get you guys back because we are going to talk to Matt Hustlite, special guest alert. We're here. He's here. So we're going to have him on the podcast and talk about the engagement.

So Brandon, you want to welcome Matt? Yeah. So I'm in the house studio with us, in the farmhouse studio with us and do a special guest. He is Ashley's younger brother. He works in Dewey Beach. He is newly engaged. So world famous. We haven't even said.

Guys, please welcome to the house studio, world famous Matt Heseltine. Hey, everyone. Newly engaged. Yeah. Are nervous? I'm not so nervous. It's a lot less nerve-wracking when you're not on stage with 1,500 people looking at you. Yeah.

Can I see what I want. Matt has been on stage with us in a bunch of live shows. Last year's holiday shows, or I guess almost two years ago now in Gramer C, and then he came on stage in Philly and brought us out. He told a little joke, and you get nervous to be in this podcast. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I'm not really nervous. I mean, I just don't know what to say. Okay, we'll talk to, we'll ask you questions. Okay. So how do you feel about being engaged? Do you feel any different? I don't feel too much different now. Because you guys already lived together.

Live together. We talked about it before. It was kind of going to happen to matter what. It's kind of a matter of time when it was going to happen and nothing's changed between us. It's exciting. You know, we're taking the next step, but. I have a good looking guy and you're successful. I feel like you could have like pretty much any girl you want. Like how do you, how did you know, like, Steph was like the end. of the line, this is who I want forever. Let me jump in here. Matt always has a girlfriend. So we're very different. So like I'm always single. Like I've only really had a few like serious relationships in my life.

Like you go from serious relationship to serious relationship. It's not an insult. It's just like you prefer to usually have a girlfriend. Yeah. And it sounds like super like terrible to say. But it's kind of like an interview process when you're dating a girl to see what they're all about because I mean, I want to get married. I want to have kids.

So finding the right one was just kind of a process. and over the years dating girls. And it sounds crazy, but the bar I work at is like a live dating app. And especially since we talk about you all the time of the podcast, then even more so. Like girls just come, you're right. It's literally like live dating. Girls are just come up to you, try to get with you. I mean, you have an excuse to talk to any girl you want to.

Any guy, any girl, any person, any celebrity you can talk to there. And I could literally go in the crowd and say, hey, this guy bought you a drink. And they didn't have to buy you a drink. You can just go there and talk to somebody. Right. I mean, they give them to choose to talk to anybody. So with that, it's just kind of like, yeah, I mean, the last three or four of my girlfriends have met at the Starboard where I work.

Must be nice. You just mean about your job. Yeah. And I mean, this one's no different. But yeah, Steph walked in and she was, you know, she was six to, I saw. I mean, just kind of locked eyes and. Because you're the only people in that airspace. Yeah.

Yeah. The bar's like four deep. And I'm like, what do you need back there? You're like, what the hell? What about me? But yeah, so I don't know, just kind of asked her on a date, kind of really, really creepily kind of hit on her, like via Facebook Messenger, because I got her name from a tab, which is super illegal. That's a thing, Matt, if you could be out of work if she purported this. If you were ugly.

If you were, that's, it's not creepy if you're hot. I'm not. I'm going to call you hot. That's our saying. Yes, you are. That's fucking weird. Yeah, so I love that story, though. Like you, like, but she wrote like a heart on the receipt, right?

I wrote a little heart on the credit card receipt and said, hey, the printer's broken. I didn't write this. Ha ha. And it's like a little penmark on a heart. And she wrote a heart inside that heart and sent it back to me when she tipped me. Right. Of course you're getting married. So, yeah.

So, I messager, I found her name on Facebook from her tab. This is a plan since I saw her to kind of figure out. It was loud and crazy. So I couldn't ask for a number there at the bar that night. So yeah. Got her name, got her number via Facebook Messenger and kind of figured out from that one on a date. Which is not something that you're doing, like, to be clear. No, that's the first time I've ever taken a tab home and got a name.

Right. Like, that's not, you're not trolling for girls, like, getting their numbers and finding them on social media. Not at all. She was, like, a special case. I've never done that before, ever. I've gotten numbers at the bar, obviously. Said, hey, you know, write your number on here or whatever it is, but never have I.

Stock somebody on the internet. It felt so weird that night. Yeah. No bartenders ever do that for me. But, like, how amazing for her? You know, and Steph, she's younger than you. and she hasn't had like a ton, like a boyfriends and stuff like that. And she, you know, she's six, too.

She's like, she's got a small dating pool for one. Like, for her to see you and be like, she probably thought you were so attractive and she's probably that guy can't have anybody he wants, whatever. She probably didn't see that coming. Like for her, can you imagine the feeling of like you seeing somebody that you're like, that guy's probably out of my league? And then he messages, he finds you on the internet and messages you. Like, she must have just been like, oh, my God.

It's never how to me once. No service industry people stalk me After I leave their establishment It's really rude They just can't see you over top of the bar Or else you'd probably have a good shot You're a very attractive girl They just can't see you

I feel like my boobs can be seen For the face She'd just rest them on the bar Yeah that is actually like where they go That's a thing, that's a thing But I am really curious Like how do you like How do you decide to settle down

How does anybody just like men that can have anybody How are they like You're like this is more comfortable And I like this right? As Ashley said I always had girlfriend so I like having somebody I like having somebody to talk to and share things with and go to dinners with all the time I mean I like to share life I mean I got a lot of love to give you know so I want to share life with somebody so I just kind of had to figure out who the right one was and

you know previous girlfriends I found a little thing that bothered me or a little something that was weird and I'm you know not saying I'm looking but I haven't found that and Steph at all and it was like and she's six two and we're going to have huge babies that's where it comes down to because you're going to super breed line back yeah see you on draft day right um No, yeah. And I know, I've talked to Matt about all his relationships, and it's always been like, sometimes you haven't been able to put your finger on it, but it's just, you know it's not right.

And from Steph from the minute one, and it was just like, she probably just like, not to sound super cheesy, but just like felt like home. Like, you know, you guys were super cheesy at the beginning. We were like journaling back and forth. What are you, you're journaling? Like we didn't see. Right on. She's a terrible face.

Yeah, it's a terrible thing. What happened? She didn't live with me, obviously, in the beginning. It was a, she, you know, she lived with her aunt for the summer in a beach town and went home and coached volleyball and nannied about an hour and a half away. So when she would come down. Yeah, they were kind of long distance. You know, when she would leave, she'd write in a journal and say, so I'd have something to read, you know, when she's gone. Matt, you are so tall.

I do not expect this. And then I would also in return write some things as well. And she like snuck in like, I love you one time on the journal. And then that was how that happened. It was really cute. My God. But she's also like, she's also like, she. She's also had a couple of traumatic things in her past,

and I think documenting stuff in her life is like an important part. You know, like pictures are like... Yeah, she's lost a parent. Yeah, like any cards or whatever, keeping them. Yeah, like, when you lose a parent, you like, your life's different. In my head, that's what the journaling was for to kind of document this. You never know how long you're going to have a little of one. And, you know, she says, I love you after every phone call, like, relentlessly.

Because she's like, I don't know what I'm going to see you. You know what I mean? Like, you just never know. So it's like all these things. We just make her so sweet. I like the way stuff fits in with your family. I think that we didn't have a whole episode about families recently and how that can tear you apart and things like that. I'm really lucky that like my sister-in-law and I are so close and we're close with her family.

But like stuff does a really nice job of not being like, I mean, she's never allowed. But like she just fits in really seamlessly. She's kind. She's tremendously thoughtful. She wants to like include everybody. She doesn't need to be the center of attention. Like she just does such a nice job fitting in. And I just always like, I mean Matt had a girlfriend before that just like, and I've liked her.

Like she wasn't the one that I hated that you guys heard me talk about. But she was never like in the kitchen. like she just kind of sat there and she was like super quiet. She like didn't contribute a lot. And like I like stuff that just like, she like gets in there. She's like, can I help with something? You know, I just love that quality. Someone that feels like they're in the family immediately is so attractive with guys too.

Like with guys that I've dated too. Like I like that involvement. It's not just like you and your partner sitting on the couch excluded from the rest of the family because you're not technically part of the family. Right. But it's a fine balance to me. Like you should always, I mean, girls are like I have to go home with somebody for her holidays. Always ask if you can help.

But you don't have to like be the loudest. the center of attention. Like, it's a fine line. Yeah. I think offering to help, like, during holidays, it sounds so small, but it's such an important part for me because, like, it's not necessarily like you're, what's going to happen later on in life, but you want to see what this person's like with your family. Yeah.

And you want to see what they're going to be like, you know, later on in life. You know, that was important to me. And that was staff jumped right in. I mean, she fed you the first time he told her. First time. I know. This is going to be in your speech at your wedding, but whatever, spoiler alert. I, we walked in, Raina was there.

The first time I met her was in the summer of 2018, and we were very hungover. It was an emergency. Like, no, Raina had called 911. Like, it was a crazy. It was a crazy night. So we walked in, like, so hung over to the starboard on Sunday. And Matt was like, you're going to meet Steph, you know, try to hold together. So she was sitting there and she was eating a cheese steak, I girl at the Starboard.

And she just, like, handed me a piece. And it was like, that she knew what I needed in that moment. I felt like she was my mother in that moment. He really is marrying your mother. She is, like, she's so sweet, but she's also, like, cool. She also could tell that you really needed something to eat. Yeah, like, she looked at me and she's like, she looks like, well, she hugged me. She's like, I'm a hugger, which she is, like, bigger than me, so I, like, love to hug her.

She's just, like, so warm to be around. Yeah, you said at first, you're like, I just get these warm. I'm getting a warmth from her. But anyway, yeah, and people, as they don't know about you, like, you want to, like, have a family and have children, like, sooner than later. Yeah. And she's young, so she can bang them out. Yeah, she's going to get knocked up real quick.

Can have an army. Yeah, I mean, I would love to have kids with her without getting married to her, but she said I had to do that. I'm just kidding. So this is one thing I read. I want to see what you thought about this. I find this so fascinating what that men do, not just Matt, but like a lot, most men, that they like get a ring and then they just don't even like whip it out and propose for months.

And I find it so fascinating because I'm so impatient. And like, if I know something's going to happen, I like, I like, I would. want to do it. I've never booked a trip that was more than two weeks out. I just need to do everything the minute that I have it. And I think it's a difference between men and women. I think, I mean, I was talking about it last night, but I was like it's it's the most fascinating thing. Like my best friend Corey, her husband, now husband, I had never even met him. They met in January. He called me in May and was like, I found a ring. And I'm like, who is this? No, I'm just kidding. I knew she was dating him. But he was like, I found a ring. And he proposed in October. And I was

a little annoyed. I'm like, I have to like keep the secret from her, but like May, so like months. And like you, what, you got the ring in September? September, yeah. Did you just know you wanted to do it on Christmas though? Is that why you waited? No, I had no idea. I had a really good friend of mine, beef. What up? That was a beef. Who was like dating

a girl who we all love for like six, maybe seven years. And it was kind of like his time to do it. And I didn't want to step on anybody's toes. And I wanted to take any spotlight from him or stealing thunder from him. So I kind of was like, let him do it. And then I'll figure out a good time to do it. I was never going to do it immediately when I got the ring at all. It was like a good time financially to, financially to spend a bunch of money on a ring. And then I was just going to figure out later on.

But like you say that, but you also are never going to be a position where you're going to buy a ring for somebody either. You don't know how you would respond. I'm just thinking about the things I do in life. Like I think of like it would be so hard for me. Like I don't like having secrets. I don't, I didn't even like being around Steph knowing that you were going to propose to her.

Like I'm just not that kind of person. Like I get it's different because. a man, you know, traditionally proposes, but like the ring's like in the house. Like it would just be like burning a hole in my brain. Like you've heard stories like every once in a story about a man who like gets the ring and he has some elaborate plan and then he like proposes in the bathroom or something. Like he can't keep it from his girlfriend. I can barely keep it from Steph.

I was scared talking to my own family about your ring. I guess I see what you're saying though. It's just, it could be like a financial thing. You're just like, I have the money now. I know I'm going to do it eventually. Yeah. I'm going to spend the money now. And for me, like, timing as soon as summer's over our busy, busy time at work was like, I had time to come up here.

Dad maybe come to his jeweler or whatever. You know, everybody's got a guy. Yeah. I posted a picture to a couple of friends on Snapchat or whatever was, and they were like, yo, hit me up. I got a guy. I got a guy. And I'm like, everybody have a guy?

Like, I'm like, everybody to help you out or is just the guy you went to? Like, is it an actual friend? People want to say that. They want to sound like they're in the mob. I got a guy. I don't got a guy. I got like a couple like people working restaurants that tell me. Yeah.

I get you a reservation at a bar. I got a guy at the Avis, Ronald car. Same. Going there right after this. All right, well, do you have any idea when you want to get married? I don't want to be too hot.

You know, I'm a sweater. Yeah, Matt is a sweater. Late October, maybe. And do we? Like, probably. I kind of want to go hang out with friends afterwards, you know what I mean? Like bartenders that I'm familiar with

and a place I'm familiar with, you know what I mean? So let's get married at the Starboard. Well, I feel you can't get married to Starboard. You could do anything if you want. Yeah, true. I might get married there. You have a magic came married there. I think you'll get, I think you're, well, if I'm going to plan it, we're going to do the wedding at the, at the Bay Center.

Okay. The perhaps reception. Sure. I feel like we could do, like, you want to get married to the beach? Would you want to get married to the beach? Just go out there, like a short ceremony. Everybody can stand. I don't care.

I like it down there. I mean, especially that time of year, it is wedding season down there. And there are a lot of weddings and bachelor parties and all that stuff. But, I mean, hotels aren't that expensive. And there's like, it's a good time at the beach. Kids run around. That's, we're doing it. aren't so crowded.

Like October and Dewey is my favorite. You get 100 people in a bar, no problem. There's no line. You know what I mean at the time of year. Yeah. That's kind of what I'm leaning towards. Everybody can party. Okay.

Well, guys, we'll see you at the wedding. October 2020. 10, 2020. I'll be in the wedding. Go best, co-made of honor. Next to her four sisters. All her sisters are like six feet tall. I want to stand at the end of everybody.

How ridiculous I'm going to look with all these people? We talked about it and she's going to have, how many bridesmaids do you have three sisters. I mean, are you going to be in it? Does that happen until these days? Actually, yeah. Well, I don't, I'm, if I'm not all good, too. Like, I don't need to be in a wedding.

I'm too goddamn old to put a bride's mat. Is that a bride's maid? Steph has two moms? She's a matron of honor. I'm not all from the first matron of honor that's not married. They're like, she just, she's over the age. She can't be a bride's maid. She's not a bride's maid, let's be clear.

She's the granny of honor. She's an old maid is what she's. I have a question because I wanted to be in my brother's bridal party. I was thrilled to be in my sister-in-law's bridal party. Very honored. It was one of the best days of my life. But I asked my brother if I could be the best man and he told me to go fuck myself. Would you like where Arlen told me I had to wear a tux and a prosthetic penis if I wanted to be in his bridle.

And I said yes. Oh, I see. You were in the, you were. Oh. I wanted to be in the grooms party. You want to be in the grooms party. Yeah. People do that.

Yeah. People do it. And also like I've seen. I went to a wedding. It's my ex's wedding. You guys know I went to that. There was guys on the girl's side, and maybe there was a girl on the guy side. He's a sister.

So it is, I just don't care. Everybody knows I'm the most important person there. I don't need to stand up there. You know I'm giving a speech. It's going to crush. If you got married when I, you know, years ago, I was like a little bit younger and I would be like, yeah, of course, I'm going to me in the bridal party. I just, you just stop caring. You just don't care?

You just want to wear what you want to wear. Like, you just want to flex with a guy. I don't want you. Yeah. I mean, I don't see you up there. The more I think of it's... Thank you.

I know God that made... I'm going to get plenty of attention. Just don't worry. The speech. I'll marry you guys. It's fine. I know God to meet his sister, his best man.

But like a lot of brides do not want that in the photos. You know? Yeah, it looks weird. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Who cares? All right.

Well, Matt, any final relationship advice that do you have anything that you feel like you've had to work on or that you've seen that you just. can offer? Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, you know, you date a handful of girls throughout your life and you kind of find something wrong with every one of them and for whatever reason it didn't work out. But I think trying to find the perfect person who like does every single thing the way you want it to do is just like kind of unrealistic. Like there's some things that stuff and I don't agree with. Like I want the house super clean all the time and she, you know, lives there and doesn't want to have it's

super clean all the time just for whatever reason or something small like that, whatever it is. But kind of dealing with that because you love the person is just really important. So like just kind of seeing past those little things that you might think that are like, I can find somebody that's this pretty and this tall and this perfect and this loving and this great. And also is that clean. You know what I mean? Don't. You know what I mean? It's like if you love that person to kind of go with it and also no stab anybody else in the past, but don't settle because, you know, I wouldn't have stuff if I like settled somebody because I wanted to get married and have kids at like 28. You know what I mean? So yeah. I love that you said that. We talked with us yesterday on our walk. The three

who took a walk. And we talked about this with Mark Manson a little bit. And I mentioned it that my best guy friend Rob has said this multiple times. Like, you just have to stop. Like, nobody's perfect. No woman or no man. And you're not perfect either. You know, like I'm not perfect.

Like, their stuff, stuff definitely doesn't love about you. She doesn't love everything about you. And so I think what I see happen with men more so is that a man finds this wonderful woman that is probably going to be the perfect match for them. and they think I can get everything, but then one more perfect thing. And they don't. And then they're 45. And then they have the one that got away.

And that was that girl. And then they like desperately try to get her back sometimes. And I mean, she's probably moved on. She's probably married. She was great. And I think that like it's such great advice because you get a ton of attention. You got so much more attention since the podcast has started.

Like you could technically be like, man, maybe there's just like, but I think you also still know, she knew she was the one pretty early on. Like you've said that. But I just think that's great advice. for guys and girls.

Me too. Yeah. Really happy to have you here. I'm so honored that you did this. Congratulations. Thank you. We'll see you in Philly. October.

Matt will be at one of the Philly shows probably. See you guys at the film more. Sounds good. Yeah. Buy tickets to that second show. I'm on the second one. Whatever any more, whatever you want.

But we're trying to push tickets to the second one. So let's just say you'll be at the second one. Yeah, you'll be at the 19th of April. I'll see you there. No guarantees, but just by the tickets. Just buy the tickets. His presence will be there. It'll be there.

We'll be lingering on the stage. It'll be lingering from the night before. We'll put him on the screen. All right. Well, thanks, Matt. You got it. See you. Bye.

Bye. Hi. I'm really excited to get into the meat of this episode. Yeah. Well, I want to talk about something, too, like, since we just wrapped up with Matt. Okay. Because I feel like this is some of the conversation that you and I have had. And our brothers are younger than us.

And your brother's married and my brother's engaged. And I think sometimes people are like, I mean, I think it's a little different if it's a sister. I could be wrong. I don't have a sister. but, you know, when your younger sibling has somebody and they're like married or engaged, I think people are like, oh my God, is that like so sad for you or do you feel weird about this? And I just, I can't stress enough how I have not even the smallest twinge of like, I don't even, jealousy isn't even a word that even comes to mind, but like that I want this to, you know?

And I think so much of it has been what we've been able to accomplish in our career and just how I am so happy and so fulfilled with my place. life and like what I'm doing. And I can say this. I would, I would admit it. I would admit it to you. I admit it on the podcast that if I felt any sort of like I'm a little sad because I like want somebody to. It's like I didn't even. I don't know. I don't know. I hope other people get to feel that feeling because it's a really wonderful feeling to be like I can be wholeheartedly happy for this person that's like going to get married because I don't even know if I want to get married. I don't even know if I care about it anymore. But like I just don't feel any sort of sadness or anxiety about it. And I don't think that you feel like that.

either. I mean, I don't know how you felt when your brother got engaged. I mean, that was a while ago. It didn't occur to me. I mean, yes, I think that you're right. I think it's very different. If it's a sibling that's the same sex. But to truly, I think it is really true happiness to be able to be excited for another person without feeling like how does this affect me. And I feel sad or lonely or jealous. And that's like a beautiful thing to it. And I just think that like that's what we've always preached about the podcast is like build a life that you're proud of, something you're excited about. And I think that will allow you to feel joy and happiness for. other people. It never crossed my mind for one second. And because it never crossed my mind for one second

that I was so jealous of Arlen, it didn't cross other people's minds either. Nobody was at the wedding saying, like, oh, poor her. You know, I wasn't nervous to walk in there. Yeah. And I think back to like when Corey got engaged. So my best girlfriend I just mentioned her got engaged, again, like very early. They met in January. He knew he was going to propose in May and they got engaged in October of 2015. And I just remember I had a boyfriend at the time and I remember being like, I need him to be there with me. Like I need my best friends getting engaged. Like I, you know, have this boyfriend, this person that I'm in love with too and I like need him to be there. I like, I remember like paying for his flight orchestrating the whole weekend so we could watch his

football game. Like I made it happen so like he had to be there. Like I felt this like I don't want to be alone or something and like I want to show that I have somebody too and not to like flex on my family and friends. They love me no matter what. It's not like that. I've never been that type of person, but I remember feeling like I want him by my side when this happens. And I didn't feel like that with Matt at all. Like even past years, like when I've been home for the holidays and I'm like, oh, I just wish I kind of had somebody here with me. I mean, I have you, but, you know, we're not romantic partners, but I just don't feel like that at all. Like I feel so wholeheartedly fulfilled and I'm single as fuck. And I think it's a nice time because we talked about this last year on this

episode, the end of the year, beginning of the year of 2019, your bitch, where it was like, just be happy with who you are, but relationship aside, and just be unbothered by men and all those kind of things. And it's like, it still rings true like a year later. I do think that it is a very real feeling for so many people, not just a sibling when a friend gets married or engaged.

And I just think that like it can be a really hard time for other people. For sure. For the holidays, I think are a really tough time for people because you do see so many people getting engaged. And you're like, well, why not me? Why them and why can't I have this? And I think it's just, it's also important to remember like you have no idea what's going on behind closed doors.

no idea what's going on in people's lives. I mean, Matt is genuinely happy, and so is Stephanie, and they're successful and I'm happy for them. But, you know, just because somebody's getting married doesn't mean anything else is going great in their life or they'll end up with that person. Or maybe everything's going great and they will end up with that person. But it's not a reflection on you. And I remember, like, when my fiance left me, I was like 27, 28,

and everybody around me was also getting engaged. And it was a horrible time for me, obviously. And my mom said to me, like, don't begrudge other people's happiness. Like, they're allowed to be happy even if you're miserable. And you should be happy for them. Yeah. And I don't know. I just, I'm glad that you're in a place like that.

And I do just think it's really hard for other people and I feel for them. I'm not saying this to like brag. Like, I'm so happy. Like, oh my God. Like, I just mean, like, I don't think I would have felt like this years ago. Like, what we've been able to do and like following our dreams and like being able to build this life and be feel really fulfilled career wise and friend wise and, you know, all these things and like where we live.

And it's really nice. Because I don't know that three years ago, four years ago, five years ago, five years ago, if Matt got engaged and I was still single, that I would have been like this. That's what I'm saying. I feel like I've been able to evolve to this, like, really great place and it feels great. And I'm older. It takes a really long time to get there. And we were talking about, like, you know, where you are at the end of this decade as

opposed to like 10 years ago. We want to talk about that in this episode. And I think a lot of people are in this, like, crazy rush to get to a place where they're super financially stable and have a job. They're really proud of it. It took me until my mid-30s. Yeah. I mean, I'm not that old guys, but you know what I mean.

It took me a long time We got an email watch from some girl She's like, I'm 25 And I just, I don't know what I'm doing my life I'm having like a panic attack And I'm like you're, I don't know what the fuck I was doing A 25 I know.

If you do, kudos to you. I don't know what's going on with your life. I think people have, I think younger people have their shit together more now because they have like the internet Like they just grew up We didn't have the internet growing up guys There's just they they're

Stuff is more accessible You can just like start a blog Or you can be like an influencer in college Like it's wild to even think about Because that wasn't our experience but I love that you transitioned into this because we wanted to talk about what our lives were like at the beginning of the decade versus the end of the decade

as a way to like share this with each other and share this with you guys because we get tons of requests of what you guys were like when you were younger and something like that and also just like to give inspiration of how much your life can change in a decade or even a year. And not be so hard on yourself. Like I think everybody tomorrow wants to like find out what their passion is and who their passion is and where they should live.

And it's like you're allowed to take your time and do these things. 10 years ago, I was a waitress. I was in a terrible relationship. It was somebody who cheated on me all the time. I was living with somebody who was like the worst boyfriend in the world. He's incredibly emotionally abusive. He cheated on me with everybody that would sleep with him. I was a waitress.

There was nothing wrong with that, but I was, it wasn't my life's dream either. Like I went to college. I got a marketing and advertising degree. I wanted to use that degree. And I just, I wasn't super proud of myself in any way. Yeah. But I mean, I guess I just felt like I was where I was at the time. I don't know, you just keep living?

Yeah. I remember New Year's Eve, like it was yesterday. I mean, whatever, it was not that long ago. It was 10 years ago. But I was like, this was when I had, like, the one time I had like a real job, like a real like 9, 5, 10 to 6, whatever. I worked in PR. I worked at this agency and we had to work at the peach drop in Atlanta,

which is basically like the ball drop of like in New York, but it's like in downtown underground Atlanta. And that was our client. And I want to be very clear that I didn't hate my boss. I think she's wonderful. I didn't, but I hated the job because I wasn't meant to work that job. You know, I was like, I can't believe. working New Year's Eve. This is miserable. All my friends are this party. And that definitely

got the wheels turning of like, I just don't want to do this. I'm not happy. I'm miserable. I'm doing this job that I hate. And 2010 was the year where, I mean, now, if we're talking January, New Year's Eve, going into 2010, I quit that job in March. And I was just on my own. I was so broke. I just moved into my first apartment by myself, living without roommates. I was on my own to be a freelance writer. I was broke. I was the heaviest I ever was. I don't know. It was like a dark time. I got a DUI at the end of the year in 2010. But it was. was like I was happy because I was like following my dreams and I'm not to get like too cheesy here. But when I look back, Kate and I always joke, we call it like the dark days where we were like,

we felt like we were so fat and we were so not cute and we were so broke. And I just was like, but I was happy because I had quit this nine to five life and I was on my own freelance writing. And like even though I could barely pay my rent every month, I was like working towards something bigger. And it was the most pivotal time in my entire life to like quit a job, realize I'm never going back to this life. I'm never going back to an office or a boss and I'm going to do this.

thing on my own. And that was, you know, exactly, it was at the beginning of the decade. And look what's happened to this. I mean, it's just like, things just kept happening in the right direction. I think the first time I felt like I'm really on the right track was our beginning of 2011. And I got this job as this editor for Daily Candy in Atlanta. And I remember getting the job. And I was like, this is my dream job. And, you know, moved past like the DUI and all that kind of stuff. And started, you know, I started Broceme Basic in 2014. I moved to New York. I started this thing with you. I mean, everything's kind of like transition in the right direction. But that time was 10 years ago and I was like floundering and then was like I have to take the leap

and like quit a steady paycheck and be broke but happy that I'm doing what I was born to do. I think you just got to go through it. It sucks. Like some of us really, really hit rock bottom. You just got to like trust yourself. And I think that like I've learned in the last few months too that like you've got to be comfortable in these bad times too and just allow yourself to go through it and make the mistakes and keep going.

And it sounds like it was like a really horrible. terrible time for you. And it's just like, you look back and it made you better and stronger and work harder. And like you are who you are today because of those things. It was like really shitty horrible times. Well, I think just like, you know, the point I was trying to make was it was like it was like it was still good because I wasn't to wake up and go to a job. I hate it every day. You know? And I think I had this epiphany of New Year's Eve. Like, I hate this. And not because I was getting mistreated at work or because the company sucked or anything like that. But just that feeling of knowing you're not in the right job.

And if you feel that you've got to listen to that voice. Quit your jobs, girls. I'm just, I mean, it's just, it's not always that. It's figure out what you really want to do. Don't just, like, stay in a job you hate. Yeah. In a relationship you hate or anything, a city you hate. Moved to New York.

Can't say it enough. I was thinking when you were talking about the dark days in 2010, I remember if I've ever talked about this in the podcast. I certainly don't think I talked about it at length. I caught my boyfriend cheating on me in 2010 I was living with right before Thanksgiving. Yeah. Like a couple weeks of the week before they,

I caught him cheating on me. I was living with him. I went to work. I was drinking. I got fired from my job for having a drink at work. Oh, my God. At a restaurant that I worked at, by the way, which is complete bullshit.

Yeah. Yeah, in one week, I lost my boyfriend. The person was paying half of my rent. I got fired for my job. I lost my entire income. This is the holidays. It was the lowest point in my life. I had to apply for unemployment.

I was making, what, you make $375 a week or a week or a month? I don't know. I don't remember. Yeah. Maybe it was a week. I don't remember. Whatever was. It was terrible.

I couldn't afford to eat. I was like eating like miso soup and rice every single day to like fill myself up. Like it was terrible. It was super rock bottom. Yeah. I was like, how did I get here? I have a college degree. I'm a smart girl.

I wasn't raised to be with this like cheating, lying asshole. And I've lost my job and my relationship and I have no money. It's crazy. We had such bad ears. Oh, it's dating like the worst guys. Ugh. I did that like climber I mentioned. A climber.

Like when Kate, I remember who we, this is the end of 2010, early 2011, like who we were dating when she, like, on her birthday. Kate had adult braces. Like it was, like, we would have a joke about these times. I got like a DUI. I'm like, I'm going to kill myself. And Kate's has braces.

We live next door to each other. We have no money. We can barely pay rent. Like, what a time. It's either way. But we both have duvays on it. I've done both. For six months, I think I had nothing on it.

Yeah. So, I mean, live your truth. Yeah. All right. Let's get back into it. Okay. So we talked about. a decade ago how we're at our rock bottoms. No one was sleeping with us. I was unemployed.

I'm like an injury. Like I got a DUI. I had no money. And then I like broke my ankle. So I couldn't even like exercise. And you know I like if I can't exercise, I'm like a monster. Yeah, I do. It was so dark. Do you know how poor I was back then? I used to go to the library every day just to like rent movies because I couldn't afford to like do anything to entertain myself. It was the most rock bottom of my life. Yeah. It was a, it was a broke as I ever was.

I think one time I, like, didn't, I didn't pay, like, one month of rent. I was like, you must have lost a check. Like, I tried to, like, skate. I couldn't pay it.

It was brutal. It's just, when you're so far low, like, I don't know about you, but like, I couldn't even see how it could ever get better. And I was just like, well, we're here.

It can't get worse. It can't get worse. So it's a real thing of, like, I can barely afford where I live. Like, this can't get much worse. You know what I mean? And then I got, I mean, again, I got that gig with Daily Candy.

It wasn't that high paying. But I was like, okay, I have like, I have the rent money covered over here because it's freelance writing. And then it just, you know, it still took probably even three years after that where I felt comfortable. I moved into 2013 into like a nicer apartment. Yeah. Did it a little glow up.

But it takes time. Give yourself the time. Yeah. It's just people, I don't know. I mean, everybody's different too. Like I, my parents weren't sending me money, but I had a safety net. You know what I mean? I could always move home or I can always like beg them for rent money if I need to.

And, you know, again, my parents, they weren't supporting me by any means. They hadn't since probably college. But at least I had that. So, you know, some people are like, I don't have that. I need to go work in a restaurant or need to pick up like an odd job or something like that. But I think that if you just don't know what you're doing with your life yet and your early 20s, even mid-20s, like it's okay. Just move in the right direction.

Like if you're going in the right direction, like when you're stuck in a job you hate, that's not the right direction. So just like move forward a little bit. Like if you're going through it, go through it. Like, I feel like, yeah, I didn't spend a lot of time sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I got fired for my job that was fucking humiliating. I applied for new jobs. I contacted every person I knew, every single networking contact I could think of.

I got back out there. I didn't sit there and feel bad for myself. Yeah. And I could wallow for a minute, you know. Oh, yeah. I mean, I was sad. Yeah. But, like, I didn't blame other people.

I shouldn't have been drinking at work. That was a crazy thing. I shouldn't have been with a guy that I was dating. I knew he was cheating on me. I shouldn't have moved in. That was a crazy thing to do. I also was really young. and when you're young, you make mistakes.

I'm not crazy young anymore and I still make mistakes. So I'm just not, I'm glad that I went through it. Yeah. And I went through it and I'm fine now. You have to move forward. Like I always am just like, that's my biggest tip to tell somebody. Do you have this thing you feel passionate about? Just try it.

Like, who cares? Yeah. And I mean, even for us, look at the podcast, like, nothing I've ever done did I start doing it thinking like, I'm going to make a fortune from this. Yeah. I like to do the podcast with you. I thought it was really fun. I liked who I was doing it with.

I loved what we were talking about. I hoped that it would do well. Yeah. But I was really passionate about it and we did it. Yeah. And I think people, like, they have dreams of like, I want to do stand-up comedy or whatever it is or I wanted write.

Like when I worked at that PR job, like I had a blog on the side. It wasn't making any money, but at least I had this thing, this like creative outlet and people read it and I got feedback from it and stuff like that. So I just, it doesn't, you don't have to, you're not going to have like some

world famous, whatever it is, stand-up career, podcast, blog, Instagram account overnight. But if you're working towards it, you will feel better about your life in general. I promise, even if you don't have money coming in. Yeah, even if it's what I wouldn't call the podcast a hobby, but like one hungry Jew was a hobby for me.

I started as one. Taking photos of food. I think, remember somebody said to me, like, you should start a food Instagram, and I was like, what kind of loser or whatever do that? I just never heard of such a thing. It was a crazy thing to me. And I, I've full-time worked at Amazon.

and I didn't think I could ever make money or monetize this. And influencers weren't making it. I mean, you monetized the blog way before I ever monetized an Instagram account. Yeah. But I just didn't know that you could do that. I was doing something that thought was fun. Yeah. And it was a nice outlet because I was so miserable at my job.

Yeah. I hated it. God, I hated it. Yeah. What do you feel like you learned this year? I was thinking last night. I was staying up in bed last night, like thinking about like the different boxes of your life. Like self-care.

romantic relationships, friendships, career. Like I was thinking about... What did you learn about self-care, little girl? Well, you know me, I'm like a pretty easy-going person. I'm usually in a good mood. I'm not like a hard person to get a lot with. I'm not stressed out very often.

And I think in the last month, I've really been challenged with like a lot of stress and I've been really, really down, more so than I ever have been in years, honestly. Like, I remember saying to my dad that I actually like I feel like an inability. to feel joy. Yeah.

Like, I just, I was not. I was the weather too. I didn't see the sun for like weeks. Yeah, it was bad timing for your. And like, you know, the whole situation with my dad being in the hospital, but more so the situation with like my family and his wife and I like such a tremendous emotional toll on me. And I think I learned that it's like okay to tell people that you're not okay.

And it's okay to tell people I don't feel like going out and I'm not all right. And, you know, allow people to take care of you and love you and accept that. And, you know, I told you multiple times. I'm just not super joyful right now. And I've told other friends, I'm just not like in a social place. And I think it's okay to tell people I'm not okay. And I think just through doing that and talking about it a little more

and just being open to expressing to people that I'm not are right, I felt better. Yeah. And I haven't had to do that in a really long time. Yeah. So I learned that about self-care. Did you learn anything about self-care? Well, it's not so much about that.

It kind of ties into that of just like saying, how you feel. I don't think I'm having any big life epiphanies in my 30s. I think I know my flaws and I'm constantly trying to better myself. You know, I know that I'm like overreactive and impatient and controlling all these things. Like I'm aware. Like I'm always like trying to work on myself and like learn these lessons and things like that. So I don't think I had any like wild epiphanies. Like I feel like I did last year when we talked about the podcast in terms of dating and stuff like that. Like after our holiday shows at the end of 2018, I had this feeling of like, I'm so happy in my life. I feel so fulfilled. I feel so much love. I am not going to be bothered by a romantic relationship.

I'm not going to let that affect my life in a way. If I find somebody, that's great. But I'm open to love and relationships. But I'm not going to let that control my happiness. And I've stuck by that. And I felt unbothered all year. I mean, I had bummed out moments. I liked guys this year and things didn't work out. But I didn't, I didn't have an experience, like really affected my level of happiness when it came to that. And what I feel like I learned is, like, you just have to say something. I had multiple situations this year where I, like, just spoke up that I may not have done the past to a guy.

Like, hey, this upset me or what's going on here? And we talked to this, too. Like, you have done this too. Like, I just don't think I've always been like that. I think I've, like, been a little more passive with a new guy or just let things go more or felt like I don't want to seem like a bitch or like I don't want to speak up. And it's like, when you speak up, you feel so much better, whether you're the one that's breaking off something or you're the one that's bringing something to light.

Like I, you know, I had a situation with that guy that I talked about where I just knew I didn't want to do it anymore and I called him on the phone, you know, I might, I may not have done that in years past. I'm going to try to do something via text or whatever, like, not ghost out, but I was just like, I'm going to call this person in the phone and explaining them exactly how I feel. I had a situation with another guy where I was, he lives in a different city and I was there and I feel like he wasn't really prioritizing seeing me and I told him. Like, I don't think you're prioritizing seeing me. Like, I'm just being honest with you, you know, and I had another situation with a guy where I just felt like the communication was

weird and I brought it up and as it turned out, he felt like I was the one that had lost interest and we had discussion about it and we started back up again. So I'm just going to speak up. Like it just, it makes me feel better and I don't see the harm in it and ever saying how you feel. But I want to qualify what you're saying because it's like it's not to say like say something about everything. Like I think there's a finesse to the way you do it, like you personally. And I think that like as you become more comfortable with saying, things, it becomes less aggressive and less accusatory. And it's not like, I'm just going to say something because, you know, you can't do this

to me. You can't. I know the way you spoke to those people wasn't like that. It's a matter of fact. And here's how I'm feeling. Yes. And I think that the more comfortable you get with, like, sometimes people that get taken, the feel that they get taken advantage of all the time and never speak up.

When they finally do, it sees, I don't want to say crazy outbursts, but they're over the top outbursts. And as you get more comfortable just talking about how you feel, those outbursts are pretty calm. Yeah. Like when you told that guy, like, hey, I don't see a future here or when you told the other guy, I don't think you're prioritizing me. I don't think these were like crazy outbursts. No, they weren't even keel. I mean, I haven't had a crazy outburst with a guy in years. I mean, since like my last serious relationship. Like I don't, I don't, if I feel like I'm saying anything till I calm down. It wasn't like that. It was straight up like, hey, that's how I feel, what's going on here, like a conversation like I'd have with you or with anybody, you know? Like it's calm and it's just, I think men can be a little taken aback because it doesn't happen all the time. And they just, have bad behavior that they get away with all the time. But I mean, I had a situation with a guy that I was,

I was into this guy and I felt like we had been talking a bunch of communicating and he kind of ghosted out on me and I didn't say anything. And then when he kind of came back around, I was like, I'm going to give him another chance, but I'm going to address what happened before. And I said, like, I feel like we were talking all the time and you just stopped. And he had a response and he was basically like, I kind of felt like that from you. And we actually talked it out. And then I felt like we were getting somewhere and then he just like basically did the same thing. And I was like, oh, well, that's just who you are and I gave you a second chance. And it's not saying that you didn't like me, but, you know, we're done here now. And I made it clear to him then that we're done. Thank you next.

I just, it feels nice to tell people how you feel. Like, you shouldn't have to hold back. We talked about this two weeks ago. I just, I fully, fully feel that like when you get somebody your time and your emotional currency, they give, they owe you an explanation. And I think that like most of the time it's not that insidious. Most of the time, especially if somebody doesn't live in the city, you just kind of forget about you. It's not like they're this terrible person. It's not always this super manipulative thing.

I mean, that guy, a little manipulative. But not everybody's a terrible person. Sometimes you just lose interest or they meet somebody else and that's it. But if you've given somebody your emotional currency, then I think that you have every right in the world to say, like, hey, what happened here? Yeah. You might not get the answer you want.

Yeah. Or you might like accept that the person is going to come around again, like do it again. Right. But that didn't, also, you're not an idiot for letting that person do that. I mean, what he did wasn't so terrible the first time. Yeah. He just proved that he was an asshole the second time.

Right. Yeah. It's just, that wasn't like the guy for me. I mean, whatever. But I just think so many times women and men, but are just scared to speak up because they feel like they're going to upset the person or lose the person. But I think you're always allowed to just ask what's going on.

Well, I think they're men. Not like a what are we, but like a, this is how I feel. Let's take a temperature check. Yeah. I think men have conditioned women to be. so afraid of being called crazy. Yeah. So what? So somebody calls you crazy? Who gives a shit? All right. If you ask a person, hey, what happened here after I spent all this

time and energy or if you had sex with the person, you had a romantic relationship with the person, if that's crazy, then like that's that person's problem. Yeah. Sorry. And it goes with friendships and family and you just, you have to say something. You just have to. You don't just say it right in the moment when you're fired up, but like you can't let this, you can't hold this stuff in. I strongly believe that. I agree with you. And I feel like you and I have got. I'm better at communicating with each other. I think we've not bickered more this year than we did before. I think we've mentioned I have a problem with this more than we ever had before.

But I think that it's better because I would be frustrated about stuff for a long time. And I'd be really mad. And it's just like, then you get to a point where like somebody does something and you're so angry. And it has nothing to do with that thing. Then you just like blow up and like all comes out. Yeah. And I've never been really great at that. Especially when I feel like maybe I'm at fault too.

I don't know how to like address it because I know that the response is going to be like, well, you did this too. Yeah. So I'll shy away from those situations. Yeah. But like, I don't know. I regret those situations where I didn't say something. Yeah.

And I've let this fester for years. Right. Not with you, but other people. I'm like, wait, what? I don't do that long. We just met. And then like, I was saying, the last thing I was when I was sitting in bed last night

and thinking like, you know, what did I learn this year? And, you know, you and I talk about relationships all day, every day and with other people and I feel like we're constantly getting advice. And I feel like in general, the podcast has made me a little more laid back about relationships in general, romantic ones where I just don't take things

so personally. But I think that this year the thing I'm really proud of that I don't think I did the first year of the podcast was like, I've really shot my shot with people. And I'm like really proud of that. And like, yeah, you have. It hasn't gotten me any closer to like being in love and finding my forever partner. But like

I'm proud that like I haven't waited for somebody else to shoot their shot. Like I'm pretty enough. I'm smart enough. If somebody doesn't like me, that's not my person and that's okay. Like I've just, I've spent so many years of my life being like, well, maybe I'm not cute enough. Maybe I'm not skinny enough. Maybe not whatever enough. It's like, whatever. Just shoot your shot. And I've done that a lot. And it's resulted in, like, quite a few relationships this year. I wouldn't call them long-term relationships.

But like, I've met a lot of people this year that I really like that I enjoyed that I enjoyed. I'm in long-term relationships that I have any more. But like the first year of the podcast, I think I was still trying to figure out, like, who am I in relationship? I slept with two of my exes. I saw up with two of my exes. I saw both of my most serious exes that year, which is not healthy. I'm just, I'm proud of myself looking back that I just decided to like go for it more. Yeah. And like there's no shame in the failure of that either. Like yeah, I'm not with any of these people that I dated over the summer or I slept with

that guy in July who was so cute. Yeah. I just, I am proud that I tried and put myself out there. And I don't feel any shame now that I'm single even though like those things didn't work out. You really did. It was so admirable. Like I think, you know, when we have people, when we do this little resolution segment at the end,

like you guys gave us your resolutions and then we're like, I want to live life more like Raina and like get you know with as far as like shooting your shot with guys and you know like getting late a lot you did great this year um but like you did you just did and i i mean feel like that i did that i feel like that i did that i also mean when you like like somebody like i did that too the guys that i ended up having to kind of be like hey what happened here we're also guys that i like put myself out there again not as much as you i'm not trying to steal your thunder but the guy that we're talking about early in the beginning of the year we were in this weird like are we friends, are we not? And like, I mean, the way I went about it was during a show,

but I put it out there and I made it known that I like you as more than a friend, in which case he responded, same. You know, like, it was a thing that I was like, what if I never would have spoken up? I just, like, he probably doesn't like me. He probably likes some other girl that's, like, prettier and younger in that. And like, it wasn't the case. It was like, oh, we liked each other, but I had to say the thing. And I feel like it's such good advice. Like, if they don't like you, who cares? It sucks. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's, it's, it's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's rejection and its ego and it's all these things. But like, you'll never know if you, you know, don't like test the waters.

Yes. And I don't think that one person should define how you feel about yourself. And I've been rejected plenty in my life. I mean, there's always going to be girls that are way younger than me and prettier and more successful, et cetera. But like, I'm not going to let my definition of myself stand on what some person who barely knows me thinks about me. Right. What is so great about that person? Yeah.

And I can't remember being rejected ever. I mean, that guy from Denver the summer told me he didn't want to date me. I mean, he did it in like a way where I was like, did I end things? Or did he? But like he basically ended things. I don't feel like that defines me in any way. This random fucking kid didn't want to date me anymore.

I don't care. Yeah. I mean, the more you mature, the more you date, the more we do this podcast, the more you guys listen to this podcast. I mean, overwhelmingly, it's like just not taking these,

quote unquote, rejections and breakups as defining you as a person. I mean, it just doesn't. It's hard to get there, but like it's constant. We're all working at this, but you get rejected by a potential romantic partner. You just are like, am I worthy as a person of love of all these things? And it's like, yeah, you are. It just wasn't the right person.

Like it's hard just not to take it personally. Right. And you will. I'm saying this pretty cavalier. Like, he didn't want to date me and I don't give a fuck. I cared. I gave a big fuck back then. You know, I was disappointed and I was sad and I took the time to like heal and think

about it and talk shit to you and talk shit to everybody. listen, but like, I'm fine. Within a couple weeks, I was fine. Yeah. And I think that, like I was saying before, it's fine to feel bad too and just go through it. But like you will be fine. Yeah.

This person doesn't, like you said, define anything about you. Right. So that was what I was proud of this year. And I want to keep doing that. And yeah, you really did. You were shooting your shot. I just met some people that I'm like really excited are in my life now and some aren't in my life anymore.

And I have had some good sex and some not good sex. and I'm pretty happy with her my friendships and my family is right now. I'm just going to keep shooting my shot with men. We'll see how it goes. Right in its 2020. Shoot my shot. All right. Well, that puts a bow on like relationships and what we learned on the dating scene and things like that.

I want to talk about something relating to this podcast, but also what I hope can be some insight and maybe advice for people that are in any sort of creative field. like whatever it is. But you're creating content. You're putting something out there in the world. It doesn't matter what it is. Podcasts, your Instagram content. Excel spreadsheets at your job.

Anything. Anything. Yeah. So I think something that I wouldn't say this is an epiphany again, but something that I'm constantly reminding myself and ourselves about what we do is that like we're not going to please everybody all the time. You will never, no matter what you do, not even Beyonce. People don't like Beyonce.

They say she's overrated, which is fucking insane. Don't get me started. But no one will please everyone. all the time. Some of you guys have maybe loved every single thing we've ever said in this podcast, but the bulk of you probably haven't. You haven't liked something we said. You've disagreed with something we said. You've maybe felt offended. You didn't like the tone of something. Like whatever, we know that we can't please everybody. And I think that I'm constantly having to tell myself that. And we get critiques here and there and we get these like wild emails from these people that

are basically like, you should change the podcast because I don't like it, which is insane. And I say this is like an overarching message about us. Is it like we stand by everything we put out. If it's on the podcast, we stand by it. We put a lot of time into what we say, cutting what we don't like, editing it. And when it comes out on Monday morning, we stand by it. And we don't apologize for it. And we've never apologized. And we know there's episodes you guys haven't liked or that things we said. Like, we've never once issued an apology. And we stand by what we're putting out. We are proud of it. We feel that it's authentic to us. And I say this to other people, too, that are putting stuff out there in the world.

Like, not everybody's going to like it. And people are going to tell you they don't like it. And it doesn't matter. And if you're succeeding and you're doing well and, you know, Rain and I, we look at our numbers. We analyze this stuff. We're constantly trying to think of how we can make stuff better and evolve and things like that. But we're doing something right and we're going to keep doing it. And I say that to other people too.

You know, I'm saying this is a pep talk to myself, but also any of you guys are listening that are creating stuff out there in the world. it's like sometimes people are going to like it and you can't listen to them and there's not a successful artist or anybody on this planet that was like I got where I am because I listened to my critics like it's just it's not you know we have a team around us we have family friends we have we analyze everything we're always trying to make the best content we can make but like it's not because we get messages from someone that was like I was offended or I didn't like this thing you say that that's how I feel I wanted to put it out there I couldn't say it better I love what

She said. And I stand by everything that she said as well. And Ashley and I have talked about this message a million times and how to formulate it. And we are so proud of this audience and excited to have you guys. We are so thrilled that you're here. But yeah, Ashley puts a lot of effort into editing this podcast every week. And when it comes out on Monday, we stand by all of it. And you know, I feel like, you know, you and me have really gone on a lot of podcasts. We know everybody in New York City that does podcasting in our field. And they're all great. No one puts more time and energy into. what they do the mean, Ashley. Finding the guests, to picking the topics, to how do we crowdsource better stuff, how do we do better live shows? There's never a live show. We don't walk off stage and say, how can we make this better?

What should we cut? What can we add to it? I mean, I feel so, so proud of it. And I've apologized, maybe once or twice, I made an insensitive eating disorder joke and maybe like an insensitive joke about suicide. And I feel terrible and I've apologized twice. Other than that, I'm not going to apologize.

And I think we've tried really hard to really see everybody's viewpoint. And I'm proud of it. Yeah. And it's the message I want to send to other people is like people will just complain. People are going to be offended. They're going to complain. They're not going to like what you do. If you're proud of it and you're putting out there and you're succeeding and you're doing

something right, just keep fucking doing it. And you don't listen to these people. And a message that I love to say in general is if you don't like something on a podcast, at a comedy show on the internet, something that you read, you can just not like it, process it and just move on with your life. I said this recently to someone. on Instagram who came for me. I said, life hack, you don't have to publicly announce every time you don't like something. And she got so mad. And she was like, you can't take criticism.

And I'm like, and by the way, people that say that, what you can't take criticism, blah, blah, the translation of that is you need to let me insult you on a public forum, which is the most pathetic argument. Don't let people say that to you. If you're one of those people that says that, you really need to check yourself. It's like a crazy thing to say. Like, this isn't constructive criticism. If you really wanted to provide that, you would have written a private message. You want to comment publicly how people like those comments, so you're validated and that you hate the same thing. And it's just, it's gross and it's disgusting behavior. And, you know, I just, I don't support it.

People just think they have to share their opinions all the time, that they're so important. And if they don't like something that they have to tell you. And I see stuff I don't like all the time from people that I like and that I follow. I'm thinking of a influencer, video creator that I've been following for years. I love most of the stuff she does, but sometimes she'll put out a video that I think is stupid and not funny at all. I don't feel the need to tell her that. She put it out there. She's obviously proud of it. It's free content. Who am I to complain? I'll probably like the next thing she does or maybe one day I'll and follow her completely. Who knows? Who cares? It's just not productive and it's mean and it's wild to insult somebody in a public forum or like on their own social media platforms like in their own house. I just I don't understand it and don't let people do it to you and don't stand for it. And it's just not the energy we're trying to bring into 2020. I want people to know that every single week we put out the podcast. or we do these live shows, and I think we just know we're not going to please everybody.

So we already know. Don't DM us. Right. Don't DM us about it. I'm never going to be like one of these. I don't want to take the stance of like, we don't need you, so don't be here. That's not my stance at all. But if you're messaging me that you don't like my voice, don't listen to it.

If you don't like my face, don't look at it. If you don't like my political views, don't listen to them. Yeah. If you don't want to hear stuff about politics, the 30 seconds we say it out of every, what, 15 episodes, I don't know what to tell you. It's, yeah, and it's just, this isn't the message of, like, you shouldn't ever listen to your fans or your listeners. It's, we look, we look at our numbers obsessively. We listen to the people around us that we trust and we respect and we look up to.

Like, we are not, like, we're perfect and we're never going to change. We are constantly trying to evolve, make it better. I think the show has changed over the years. And, you know, this is about us, but it's about you guys too. And I think that we've been asked a few times, can you guys talk about addressing critics and haters and things like that. And it's like, you have to ignore these people. If you're doing something right and you're succeeding and your followers are growing, your numbers are growing. Whatever you're doing in whatever world is working, just keep doing it and stand by. And

if it's authentic to you, people are going to hate you. The more success you get, the more people will hate you. When you start getting haters and start getting critics, you know you've made it. And then speaking of people like hating you and hating your viewpoints, I listen to this, I want to read you this sentence. I think I've read this to you before, but I want to talk about it a little bit on the podcast. I was listening to Eliza Slessinger's newest stand-up special on Netflix, which is fantastic. I think she's really funny. She said this one thing, I paused and I wrote it down because she was talking about, like, every time you take a stance on something, when like a ton of people come out and they're mad at you and they're so mad, she said this sentence, one woman's

affirmation of her choices is not the negation of your existence. And I wrote that down and I thought, like, what does that mean? And, you know, having a podcast is saying, I have an opinion and other people should listen to it. And, you know, I think I have a lot of opinions and a lot of thoughts. And just because I have them doesn't mean that I think that your thoughts and opinions are wrong. They're just my opinions and my thoughts. And I'm allowed to have thoughts and feelings on lots of things that I'm not trying to insult other. That's just how I'm living my life. You can live your life however you want to. I don't go shit. What you believe in. And me feeling something about race, religion, politics. I mean, I try to be a good person. I think there's

a certain good way to live your life. But I don't care what other people think can feel. You're allowed to live your life the way you want to. Right. And that's a thing. That's like what a lot of people they can't separate how they feel because of their personal experience, they have to tell you. They have to tell you like, I'm so offended by this thing that you said because of what I've dealt with. And it's like, okay. You know, like, I still feel this way.

Right. I'm still going to make jokes about sensitive topics because it's a comedy podcast and it's what we do. Like, it's, I don't know. And, you know, it's also just like I can't hammer this home enough. Like, I just don't want it to seem like Rain and I aren't aware. Like, I think that we in our lives have always been like, okay, if this thing isn't working, maybe you pivot. You know, like I noticed this is a little bit different.

But like when I had, when I sold Brose being basic, like, I noticed the account was just like losing followers every day. And I was like, I have to change the content. You know what I mean? Like the day that we aren't selling tickets anymore, that the podcast is tanking, like whatever should that ever happen. Like, then we'll maybe make some change. changes. But I say it's just a hammer at home. It's like if you're doing something that's working, you're succeeding more people are liking what you're doing than aren't. That's when you just need to like ignore the critics. You know? And the way that, because someone's always

going to be offended. They are. And the way that you're living your life is an attack on the way somebody else is living their lives. It's probably like a more simplified example, but like weddings. I think they're fucking stupid. I wouldn't spend a bunch of money on it. That's my personal feeling. If I got married tomorrow, I'm also not a 23 year old girl getting married. But if I got married tomorrow, I wouldn't do the banquet hall and the catering and the centerpiece. I think it's a waste of money. I'd rather buy a house. I'd rather buy a lot of things. I'd rather donate the money to charity.

I think it's ridiculous. I wouldn't do it. That doesn't mean if you have a wedding there's anything wrong with it. I would love to go to a wedding every single weekend. I love an open bar. I love free food. I love dancing. I would get dressed up and fucking a wedding every single weekend if I could. It's my dream. I love it. I'm just not spending my money on it. Right. And I'm not

judging you. I'm happy to be here. Yeah. Thrilled to be here. But honestly, I just, I don't care what you do. That's what I'm doing. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. I'm not telling you not time of wedding. Have it.

Invite us. We'll officiate it. It'll be great. Yeah. We're all different. We're all different. And we're guys, we're going to keep doing it or doing. Someone wrote an email.

Please stop talking about the live shows. Nope. No. She was like, it's really annoying and make it shorter. You know what? I think your fucking email's annoying. She wrote, I literally don't give a fuck. Sorry, we do.

It's our life. I'm not going to stop. All right. Let's talk about 2020. Okay. What are our goals for 2020? Let's talk about them. Did you write down your list of personal goals for 2020?

Yep. You look really amped to read that. Okay. No. Again, guys, we talked more on like a little bit heavier stuff on last year. So we don't want to be repetitive. I don't have like I'm always, like I said, always trying to work on myself, always trying to be a better person, more pleasant to be around all the things.

But as far as just the more surface stuff, Australia is huge. I know it's a trip and it's a work trip technically and a vacation too, but it's just this bucket list thing I've wanted to do forever. And it's coming up soon. It's the thing that I'm looking forward to the most in the new year. So to hold a koala is my number one goal above all for 2020. To get LASIC, the year 2020, going to be seeing 2020. I want to get a book deal this year.

I'm saying it because I'm just like, I've always wanted to write a book. I've started writing a few chapters and I'm going to have you guys hold me. accountable. So I'm going to do the book this year. I want to get a book deal in 2020. I need to get the gallery wall in my apartment to set up. I need to stop procrastinate around, like, little stuff around my home. This is like something I definitely want to work on. I'm like, I just procrastinating and stuff. There's just stuff that like needs done around my home and like in life and you're just like the thing of like there's something in the floor and you just step right over instead of picking it up. Like I don't know what it is. It's just like little things.

Like all I need to do to get this thing done that would make me feel so much better about my home is like call a task rabbit or you know, like have some. It's just it would be it would be an hour. And it's like, once it's done, it feels so good. And I think that I just need to be better about procrastinating on little stuff. I've worked with you for a long time. You are not a procrastinator. No, it's not work. It's like home stuff.

I don't know. It's weird. Little stuff. It's less pressing. I don't do anything I don't have to do ever. You know, I have two sides of my notebook. Like the left hand side is like, do the laundry. Get your manicure.

Like, pay your rent. The right hand side is like all the work stuff. I check that all off immediately. Yeah. I think it's like I just got to get my home together. I think there's these things that are just like, I hate that I moved in there. September 1st and it's, I thought I was going to be done. I thought the stuff was going to be in the walls.

I thought we were going to have the plants by now. I thought the bedroom wall was going to be painted. I thought the tower rock was going to be up. There's these things that like, I just wanted to get them done and I'm just like, why aren't these done? I can't believe we're going into a new year and I moved in September 1st and like you guys went a home tour. People like, he's not ready. I hide my apartment so much and then people like, can we see it? I'm like, it's not done yet. You know, it's great. It's livable. It's just there's like the little things that would make it feel more like a home that I procrastinating. and I just kind of hate myself about it.

You know what I like about your list of goals? Because mine aren't like this. We said this last year and my list of goals are not like, like, they can't be these ambiguous things. Like, I'm going to find my passion. Like, it has to be like an actionable item that's like, it's timely that you can check it off. You know, like, it's easier for me to do things mentally when I'm like, this is a thing.

Yeah. Because like my goals for this year are so ambiguous. It's like, do some stuff and go to some places. What? Well, like I've goals for the podcast. Like, I mean, obviously, like, I'm really proud of our torque schedule that we have coming up. Yeah. And I think that we're always making those better.

We're going to add a lot of video components. We've been doing that more anyway. We've been doing, like, more hype stuff and actually videoing the recordings, which I'm really excited about. Just to, like, add another element to what we do and let you guys in more. Yeah. I want to answer the phone every single time my mom, my dad, or my brother, call me. Because I just, you know, as they get older, not my brother or my parents,

you know, even finite amount of time you can spend with them. So every time they call me, I do want to answer, no matter how irritated and or drunk I am. Actually, when I'm drunk, it's great. The other thing is that I feel like I don't have as much as outside of the podcast as I used to, meaning that I used to have one hungry Jew. So when you and I weren't recording together, I was always taking photographs and stuff, editing it, writing on my blog, like running around and doing this whole other component of my life. And I've stopped doing that. So outside of the podcast, like, you do stand up. And that's your thing outside of the podcast.

It's only for you. I know you do stuff with Francis, but like that's your thing. I no longer have that thing now that I don't have One Hungry Jew. And so now I've just started to try to think like, where I'm just like a little bored in general. Like we travel and we work so much, but like I just want other things. Well, you've been fucking. I have been fucking.

We said this on Taylor Strucker's podcast. Say your joke because it's very great. We say this on TV. It's a hot take. Look, you know, we haven't said hot take all episode. So we're just going to say, we have a dating and a comedy podcast. And outside of what Rain and I do together, I do the comedy, she does the dating. The things that we do separate from each other are I do stand up and Raina does the fucking.

I've thought about that. Like can love be my hobby? Like can my boyfriend be the thing I do outside of the podcast for me? Okay. First, I want to know what you have planned because just so I don't get a surprise when you're like, by the way, I started this other thing. But I'm starting another dating podcast with a guy. It can be, like, if you were to have a relationship, that would be all you can handle with

what we have. Because you and I don't sit down and record an hour-long podcast every week. We travel. We have a million other things. We're trying to add more to it. We're trying to do video or trying to do all these things. So if I don't know, like, again, my thing, I mean, I do stand-up, but I'm not doing stand-up every night.

That's why I want to do the book. Like, I've been a writer my whole life. I've wanted to book to you my whole life. The time is now. I, you know, it's kind of like, you got to do it while you're hot. I don't know how long people are going to care about me. I don't know how much you even care about me right now, but it's a good time for me to put a book out.

Yeah. And so I always wanted a book, why not now? I think you and I used to do when we met, we were doing all influencer, Instagram-y type of stuff all the time. And neither of us is really doing a ton of that anymore. We both have larger influencer accounts, but that's not my full-time thing anymore.

And so I've just been thinking lately, like, what is my full-time thing outside of this? I'm so proud of the podcast when we have, but everybody should have something outside of their job. But I think that I do really strive to travel a lot. I love art. I love cooking. I love going out.

I do all of that. I think all my personal relationships are in a great place. I don't even work on any of them, like, really hard. So, like, I'm just trying to think, like, what's my next thing? And I have always loved photography. I have all these cameras. I used to really love photographing food, but, like, street photography is my favorite thing in the world. I follow a million street photographers on Instagram.

And to learn how to do that would be really great. In the wintertime, it's not the greatest time to be out on the street photography. streets? Yeah. Well, you know, I do feel like that for you because I feel like their, your account went from like beautiful photography to like, what's up to me and my friends. Like, I don't, you, nobody loves like street stuff more than you. And I remember you saying when we were out, I forget where we were, we were somewhere on a trip. And you were like, I wish I could post street stuff on my account. But no, this is back when you still were doing one hungry to you, but you were like, nobody cares about it. But it's like maybe you start that kind

of account now. I don't know, whatever. Or just having myself. Like I just, I just, I was looking at these street photographers this morning, and I was like, wow, like, what they're able to do is so cool. And I used to love just, like, people say, like, how do you de-stress? Personally, like, I love grabbing a camera and just walking around the city. Yeah. Like, there's no end to the amount of cool stuff you can see. And traveling is always really important to me.

I've traveled the world. We don't talk about it a lot on the show, but I've been all over Asia, Southeast Asia, Africa, South America, America, America. I'm to Europe. I've been to every single place in Europe. Like, I'm not going to, you're never done traveling. But, like, I'm ready for, like, a hobby outside of that. And we're going to go to Australia.

We're going to go to New Zealand. Then I'm going to go to Bali. That's a lot of places to check off your list. And then in June, I'll take another big trip probably. But yeah. I just feel like I'm a little less personally satisfied than maybe. I'm just bored. Yeah.

That's what it is. I'm bored throughout the day. Like you said that like, you know, you tell me to come at two and then I come at three. It's because I'm literally doing nothing and I dick around. I do nothing all day long. I'd like to do like, I get up in the morning. I have coffee. I take a walk.

I answer emails. But like I don't do anything. Yeah. So I'd like to just have like that thing outside of us. So that's my goal for the years to sort of figure out what that is. Okay. And I'm financially stable and I'm happy in what we do. And I think that that's a great time to say, let's pick a hobby.

So that's my goal. And fucking. And fucking. I got to fuck. Can't that's also on my list. Fuck more? Gotta get laid. All right.

Well, that's our 22. I think I got all my 20 and 20, 20 goals. Oh, and my birthday in Chicago. Oh, yeah. Okay. June boat birthday. We were thinking of doing like a combined birthday end of June, early July, going to Chicago. We love Chicago so much, and we just keep going there when it's called.

So, birthday, Chicago birthday, LASIC, book deal, gallery wall in the apartment, Australia, best trip of my life. And then stay woke on the election. Big year, guys. Anyone but Trump, 2020, is the slogan I'm going with. We'll talk more about it. As the year goes on, I'm not quite sure how I feel about everything just yet. Also, you don't watch the news.

I watch the news? I watch the news, and I'm not that informed. I try to stay informed. I mean, obviously, it's not a joke. I get most of my news on Twitter. Like, that's where everything breaks. So, like, I always, you know, I'll do the skim here and there. We want to have those girls on, the girls that start the skim.

And, like, I'll watch the news here and there. I mean, you watch the news for 30 minutes. You know everything that's happening. You're right, though. I don't watch the news. I read Need to Know every morning. Okay. You know what else I'm doing this year?

I've decided. The last thing I really need to, like, cross off my bucket list. I want to go to Cape Town. Okay. I've tried to go a couple years on New Year's and it's like $3,000 for taking for $2,000. So probably that'll be my June trip is Cape Town. Cape Town, find a hobby. Fuck some more.

Answer the phone when dad calls. There it is. That's my goals. That's the goals. Okay. Well, we want to talk about your goals. We asked you guys to submit them. New segment.

New segment alert. Just for New Year's. We talked a lot about resolutions, obviously. We wanted to know what yours were. I was debating. Should we do sweet or funny? We chose funny. Why would we ever do sweet?

I don't know. I thought maybe it could be like heartwarming, like how I knew he was the one. No. Because you guys delivered so hard. Yeah. So we are doing a segment. We're calling it New Year, New Me. So this is how you guys are going to be the new you in 2020.

Yes. You guys submitted one-liners. They're amazing. I'm going to kick it off with one that I should probably also resolve to do. I will stop blacking out on Tuesdays. All right. Only Tuesdays. This one's going to be hard to find, but best of luck to this girl.

She said, I'm only sleeping with men that have actual skincare routines. Three and one fuck boys be gone. That is rare. Have you found a man with a skincare routine? Never one. My ex does? Because of me. What does he do?

I don't, I mean, I just got him on some skin care. He lotion? Yes, moisturizer toner. What does toner do? We don't have time to guys. If you want to fuck somebody that has a skincare routine, you're not fucking right now. Just so we're clear. Okay.

I'm not fucking that much. This girl, it's pretty simple. fart less around my fiance. Oh my God. She wants him to stick around. Okay. So many, no more fuck boys. We can't stress this enough.

No more fuck boys. Oh, shins. Fuck boy free in 2020, all this stuff. This isn't simple. I'm going to try not to be such a dumb bitch. I feel like she really knows herself. This was probably my favorite one we got of all of them. Fuck more cry less.

Fuck more cry less. That's a fun. Isn't that amazing? Yes. I love her. And here's another gray one liner. Recycle more plastic. not my exes.

Good for the environment. Do you ever see, I did this on an Instagram story one time, like the tops of the trash cans in New York City and maybe other cities. I don't know. It says trash only no recyclables. And I like did a meme of like all my, like how I think about my exes is really clever.

A trash old. If you guys see this around New York City and maybe your city too, trash only no recyclables. That's how we should feel about our exes in 2020. I'm just saying. I have so much to say about that. Okay. This made me loud because it's just,

it's about plant. to stop the charade of buying plants that I know I'm going to kill and just get fake ones. I don't know. I think it's like a nice to have a plan. Something to care for. Yeah. Do you know how sad I feel every time I kill a plan? I have to put it down the trash chute.

You have to put it down. I say like a little prayer as I like send it on its way down 12 floors of a trash shoot. It's so funny. Like you actually have to put it down. Like it's an animal. I got to put it down the trash shoot. Okay. No dairy.

She said better skin. And also I'm lactose intolerant. So, and she does a poop emoji. Yeah, girl, you should stop being dairy if you're lactose intolerant, just for the record. She says this is a question. Stop dating men altogether, question mark. Feels like a healthier change than going to the gym more. This one on brand, no more fucking Republicans.

So you can look at that both ways. Like, I'm not going to fuck them anymore and like let's just eradicate them in general. Both. No more. Bye. Stop eating everything I see is one of them. but the next one is very funny. Eat more Farrow.

Farrow's great. Farrow, quinoa. Gotta get your grains in. Is it high in fiber like lentils? I love Farrow. Ferro is probably pretty decent in fiber. It's just like a great filling base. All right.

Here's another food related one. I have some thoughts on this. She says she wants to stop eating Doritos for breakfast. Why? Here, I do, I've said this before. I feel like the first thing you put in your body in the morning is important. Like your body kind of resets overnight. So yeah, you should be putting something healthy in your body first.

thing in the morning. But you can eat Doritos still. We're not getting rid of Doritos in 2020. I'm just going to be clear about that. I mean, you could eat like a handful of that. Remember when I ate those combos in that guy's apartment in the morning? And his roommate shamed me. All right. Well, I still stand by something healthy first thing in the morning. Eat Doritos second. Eat a piece of fruit than Doritos. That's a healthy balance breakfast. Eat apple slices and three Doritos. I sanction this. Okay. This is funny because I don't understand how many, how many times this could have possibly happen to this girl. Stop ending up in the back of strangers limos and then hooking up with them later.

Girl, how many limos are you getting in? There is one that said stop accidentally having threesome. Like, what is y'all's lives? I respect it. I never even accidentally have a one-sum. How is she getting extra people to fuck her? This one's simple to peg a rando. I read that.

How are you going to peg a rando? That's, I mean, just make sure you get consent before you just. She didn't say to force myself on her rando. I just, all right, yeah. I mean, I think also you could probably find somebody on like online that wants to be pegged that's a randau. It just doesn't seem like something a random person would let you do. But I could be wrong.

Good luck to you. Good luck in 2020, girl. Peg somebody. Hold them down. Cut down that medical bill by actually using condoms with one night stands. Yeah, girl, you can't be raw dog in one night stands. I mean, I do. But I can afford plan B.

I can afford all the plan B in the world. Not really. Once a week. More than pregnancy issues. Guys, be safe out there. Okay. She's like, I've 17 kids. I can't afford it.

Use Lola condoms. And speaking of our partners, stop blacking out and falling asleep before postmates comes. Have you done that? I totally have done that. I have not blacked out. I have not passed out before my food arrived in a lot of years.

But also guys use Koggi for $100 of postmates credit in your first seven days. Okay. Here's what I like. get my fucking life together. There it is. It's non-specific. It's a new decade.

Who knows what's going on in her life? She wants to get it together. I like all these girls that are like, I'm going to find a man and a husband. This girl is show, be more slutty. Yes, a lot of them said to have more sex, more orgasms.

This one's great. She writes, try and give more pleasure to my man instead of him always just eating my ass. That's festive for the New Year. I like that. Maybe he takes pleasure in eating your ass. Yeah, he must love to keep that guy around,

though, whatever you do. Eating my ass. Love her. This is right up my alley. Teach myself how to squirt. And then she wrote parentheses, mainly an excuse to masturbate more. I feel that.

Oh, that. Did you write that? No. Brianna Marie wrote that. Okay. But I feel that. Okay. Here's one. Rainey, you wrote this one too.

Only do Coke on the weekends and special occasions. No, I did. I'll do Coke at weddings. I only do Coke at weddings. Actually, like, I only do Coke at weddings. I love this one. much. I will find the strength to finally leave my husband for Raida Greenberg. Oh, good for you. I love her. Okay. I like this one. Just not to sleep with my ex. This has been

a resolution since 2016. Girl! Every year. She says I'm not going to sleep with me. She's going to be my year 2020. I think it's okay. To that girl, this is a new decade. Don't fuck your ex. Or I don't know. I'm due. I don't, whatever. Is it in your ass? Live your truth. Like him till Monday. Oh, there it is. This one's cute. My goal is to look less awkward in photos. I want to know how to look pretty and to pose. That's a legit thing.

Merrill does not know what to do in a photo. Like, we have worked with her so much over the years. Like we, when we all went to Mexico City, we like worked on it. Like I had to really work on how to pose because we do so many photos of the meet and greets. Like you need to feel awkward.

Your shoulders need to be back. You need to feel like you're sticking your chest out, cocking your hip. Like there's a whole art to like not looking awkward in photos and you're going to feel awkward where you're doing. That's all I'm going to say. It's going to feel awkward. You're going to look good.

I never know what to do with my body or my face. I am somebody who looks wildly different in all photos. What? I look at all four nights that we had holiday shows. My body and my face look completely different every single day, and it was four days in a row. I didn't gain that much weight. You're a chameleon.

I love how many girls are so committed to sex. I will give more blowjobs. I will suck more dick. I will try to get dick down at least twice a month. Well, the girls that send more blowjobs, they do have boyfriends. Because a lot of girls said BJs are for boyfriends. So she says, suck my boyfriend. Dickmore. BJ's her boyfriend stuck with me

and now he's my BF so we've got to start to have blow chops. I like this. Shave my legs at least once a month during the winter. Damn, girl. You know what? I love your truth. Don't shave. I like this one. Become a bad bitch. Drink more, suck more dicks, break more hearts. What is going on? Where? What happened to you? Tell everybody to start sucking dick. That's never been our message. I mean, live

your truth. I don't like suck a dick. Not to completion. Oh my God. This girl, opening my own bakery. I was going to do it in 2019, but I got divorce instead hashtag quassant. You're going to open that bakery bitch. Katie, we're here for you. Send me some quassons. We'll be your first customers.

We'll be your first customer. A lot of girls are canceling guys of certain names. Ryan's. Any guy named Pat is canceled. Pat. I support it. And Ryan. All I want is a cat and a casual fuck.

Do it. Gress you a cat. This girl wants to do the office. I want to stop allowing human trash bags to raw dog me on the first date. God. I want people to think that I'm someone who works out, but TBH, I'm a Raina, not Ashley. So she wants to not work out, but people to think she is. She wants to act like me and look like you. Here's another one, only suck dick when it's a boyfriend. Lots of stuff about sucking dick. I like, I like how bold this claim is. I wonder if she'll be able to do it.

Read one book per year. I thought that one. I'm going to write a book so you can read my book. I'm moving in with my boyfriend. I hope to be nicer to him so we don't burn down our apartment. That's a good resolution to be nicer to my significant other. Most of these girls want to be out here and suck and more dicks of their boyfriends. A lot of girls want to be fuck boy free. I feel like you, me and Mary Beth Barone really lit a fire. Hashtag, no more tourist men.

I'm here for that. Stop having sex with people who live in Bushwick. A lot of them were talking about getting better booties. Did you see those? This one says grow a booty. That's not how works, sis. You just wish real hard, water it? Grow a boo.

This one, this is my vibe because I went Lysick. I will finally get prescription glasses. The final straw, an ex-fiancee makeout, I didn't recognize him. We'll end on this one. No, let's keep him going. We're all so good. Come more. Come more.

Okay. Less tears, more beers. Floss my teeth more so I can stop blind in my dentist. Y'all? Just floss. If you're not flossing every night, you have bad breath. You know what you can do? Actually, I just bought one.

I mean, I'm obsess of flossing, but I have a permanent retainer now. I bought a water pick. I bought on an Amazon. It's $30. That shit shoots straight through your teeth. Whatever you need to do, if you're not flossing and you're not, or you're not water picking or whatever, your breast smell is bad. I'm sorry to tell you.

That's what that bad smell is. Food lodging your teeth for days. This one is a little different. Give my boyfriend less head. Tori. What are you doing? Sorry, Tori's trying to do that. How much head are you giving?

She's like, I need to cut back. People are like, I need to cut back on Doritos. She's like, I got to cut back on blow jobs. Some girls said I got to cut back. of Oreos. This is funny. Dress sluttier. I dress like a stuck-up secretary

and I'm too hot for this shit. Okay. She's like mad at herself? Buy a crop top. Let's your tithes out. Be like Hannah burner. Never wear a shirt. Hannah loves a crop top.

She can pull it. She can pull off though. Really need to stop 69ing just anyone. It's tough work. How many people are you 60? It's like this girl that's fucking in limos all the time. How many limboes are you fucking? and the limos and the accidental threesome.

This girl wrote, Stop being a bag of dicks. This girl eat more lobster. I see you. Get rich. Yeah. This next girl is friends with her. Fuck bitches get money.

Oh my God. Footjob girl wrote, I'm giving more foot jobs. There she is. We should end it on that. I love her. Okay. Well, ended on that,

even though there's one that's really relevant to me. All right. You can add one more. All right. This one says finally get Botox on my nasty ass forehead wrinkle. I'm with you. I got to get on this Botox. Boatux is great. It's not cheap, but it's easy. All right. All right. One more. One more. Bleach my Bleach my butt hole, do you know how Boutleash is her butthole? I have a friend that bleach is her butthole. I've never seen the process. So my old bikini waxer in Atlanta also shout out to Sweet Beach in Atlanta. That's the only place to go to get sugar. I miss it every day. I don't know if she still does it, but they would do it. And you just basically massage bleach into your re-hole. Real bleach. There's nothing else to do.

Like, chlorox bleach. It's like a behole bleach, but you like just have to like get your thumb in there and just massage it. I have a question. Do you plug your beehole before you? You can't just be out here like pouring chlorox into your behole. It's like open cavity of your body. It's just on like it's just around the hole. But I don't think you put it on a cloth.

I don't think you. It's what they do it. They dip their finger in bleach and massage. Yeah, it's like a cream. Like a bleach cream. Like bleach cream. It's not like they're not like bend over. Let's pull it.

some chlorox in your butt hole. Of your asshole. And then you die. Imagine that. Guys, be safe out there if you're bleaching your bee holes in 2020. You use cream, at a butt plug. You know what I like? I like that there's just no rules anymore. Half of these girls are like, I'm going to be a bigger whore. And half of them are like, I'm going to stop being such a whore.

And I just, whatever makes you happy, just do it. A lot of dick-sucking stuff. And I like that every single. You know what? We didn't get a lot of. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to, you know, be better in this. People are just like, I'm going to have more fun.

Well, we said get tell. We said be funny, and you guys never let us down. And that's the thing. I can't hammer home enough. Like, when we talk about these emails and these DMs we get, like, they're so few and far between. Like the majority of this audience, we fucking love. Like, we put that side up and within minutes, the resolutions we were getting,

we were hysterically laughing. Like, we have the best audience in podcasting. I'm thankful every single day of you guys that listen that you come to the live shows. Like, we're obsessed with you. Yeah. And she's like piggyback what you said. I just want to like wrap up the year and wrap up the last two years and just say like how grateful I am for this audience.

You guys, I say this all the time. I say to all the live shows. You guys say that you've changed, that we've changed your life, but you guys have changed my life and Ashley's life. And we really are so excited every day about this. And you guys make us laugh and you read all your comments in the Facebook group. We're so, so grateful for the people that like lend their years and their time and their money to us. Yeah. Yeah.

And I mean, again, we are grateful every single day without you guys. This would just be us with two microphones. And I put out a fire podcast and no listeners. no money. So we are so grateful and we can't wait for the 2020 tour and all the shows we have planned. Yeah. How many do we have right now? Thirteen. 17 coming up. I wish we could meet every person at every live show. The meet and greats are like such a treat. I did every person. Most people. Except for the girl who wrote that email last week. But I just, I love the Instagram stories. I'm so touched by all of them. I can't believe how fucking funny you guys are. So, you know,

you know, thank you for everything and for your support. And that's it. Ashley and I love you guys. Yeah, keep buying the merch. We love seeing you guys all the merch on Christmas and stuff like that. So I just want to say thank you for that too. People like bought their friends and their sisters and guys were buying the merch for their girlfriends and it was just like warmed our heart so much.

So we have had such a good year and we're looking forward to another great year and me and you guys all over the world. And that's it. That's it, guys. Have a great 2020. Yeah, and Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast is the website, Stupid Live shows, Ash Hess, rana.com, Grimberg, Girls underscore Gotta Eat on Twitter.

Subscribe, rate review. Hopefully you want to give us five stars. And we'll see you next year. Thanks, guys. Happy New Year. Bye.