Girls Gotta Eat - Finding Confidence and Style at Any Age with Caroline Baudino

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

It's never too late to find success, happiness, confidence, or style, and we have Caroline Baudino on this week's episode to prove it. The influencer and podcaster shares how she lost herself and the rock bottom/aha moment which led her to finding her purpose and building a thriving business. She shares why she loves being in her 50s, her main piece of advice for moms who want to rediscover themselves but don't know where to start, why getting up and getting dressed every day can change your life, tips for finding your personal style, and why there is no such thing as too much jewelry. Before Caroline joins us, we discuss the notion that couples who veg out together are closer than couples who are more active, plus we're letting you know about the newest way to elevate your masturbation sessions. Enjoy! Follow Caroline on Instagram @shop.with.caroline and TikTok @shop.with.caroline, listen to her podcast Coming In Hot, and check out her website. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/GGE. Addyi: Learn more at https://addyi.com. BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at https://betterhelp.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you looked at yourself as a special occasion and your life as a special occasion, what would you do for it to show up? This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. We just got back. Yes, we are recording before we leave, but thank you guys for coming out to our shows in Denver, Minneapolis, and Madison.

Hope they were great. I'm sure they were great. Yeah. I'm so excited for my fits because it's Western. Yes. You guys will have seen on Instagram, but I'm really excited. I'm wearing chaps for the first time. Right.

So head to the, head to the gram to see what we wore. This was the most planning I have done. So you actually started planning this like two months ago. And I was like, what words are you saying to me? You were like, I have my Western fats. I was like, I'll do that a week before. I just have learned over the years to get ahead of costumes and looks like this. Like I got my pajamas really early.

Like I don't like that feeling of I don't know what I'm wearing. and I'm scrambling at the last minute and you've got to return stuff. So yeah, I started planning. I hope it paid off. I hope I looked good. I wish I could do that. Because I'll write it down every day. My thing, like, it's the sense of impending doom of like the stuff I want will not be in stock,

but I can't stop myself. And then, you know what we're doing in December? So I'd move early December and then six days later we leave for two weeks. How am I going to find anything? I don't know how you're doing that. I don't know how I'm doing that. Yeah, Tessa, you're going to be doing that. That's funny people to help. No, but thank you guys for coming out. And just while we're here, we have five more shows in two cities this year. And those are going to be two shows in New York. There are still some tickets left to one of those and three shows in Boston. And there are still tickets left to one of those. So two are sold out. And we really cannot wait to end the year. Here, we don't really know what 2025 is going to hold. So, you know, if you want to see us, get those tickets, make the trip. All the shows are going to be incredible, like the entertainers we have. I mean, In New York, always.

And Boston, we have never done holiday shows there. So we are pulling out all the stops. We're just full send. Do it, send it, stuff we've never done in Boston before. These shows are going to be incredible. So you can still get tickets to the second show, which is the late Friday show, which is going to be lit. At the Wilbur. Yeah, girls got to eat.com.

We'll see you guys there. And thank you to our partners for the show. Thanks to BetterHelp, get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp. com slash gge. And thanks to build, get points by paying rent. at joinbuilt.com slash UGE. Yes, and thanks to Addy. You can learn more at Adiaddi-D-D-Y-I.com.

So we have an update for you guys. Hopefully you're going to love it. We have a company, Vibes Only, which is an amazing line of vibrators to enhance your sex life, but everything is paired with our app. So Vibes Only is our app as well. And it's always been an erotic audio app

and the toys connect via Bluetooth to the app. And there's always been a remote control in there and a long-distance remote controller as well. And now we've added a bunch of new features. We've rolled out a new version of the app. It's really beautiful. It's highly customizable. I mean, this should be your pleasure playground, one-stop shop. So we just want to make your sexual experiences as customizable as humanly possible. And you could always DJ the vibrators. You could always connect the vibe to the controller, turn up the vibration pattern, switch between the different vibrations and intensities.

But now we've built out an entire studio so you can really highly customize it. There's just a lot of fun. stuff to play with in there. Yeah, there's really nothing else that exists like this. You know, like Raina said, every single one of our vibrators does connect to the app and someone has always been able to control them long distance since we introduced that feature. But these new features make it crazy. I mean, this is really crazy. Like, I'm just going to tell you the new features and we're not going to explain all of them today. It's a lot of information to digest. But we have the Vives Only Studio. And Raina can talk more about that in a minute. We have the four-way controller. So if you're into a four-way, get in on that.

We have the Magic Wand. Also, Ashley Max is a Magic Wand, if you guys are interested in a vibrator. We have a sound controller, which is crazy. That is so crazy. Some of the stuff is like the most high-tech shit. Like, we're like, how is that even possible while we did it? And then we have the freestyle controller.

And while we're here, I'll talk about the freestyle controller. This is wild. This is just if you want to just have fun. Like, if you're just sitting around, like, what can I do on my phone? This is going to be it. Okay. What can I do with my pussy on my phone? Yes.

Like, how can I masturbate? So this is really if you're like kind of like the adventurous type, you know, you're a little bit of a rule like rule breaker and you want to create your own vibe in the moment. So you are going to draw your vibe directly on the screen. This is like a etch a sketch for a dirty etch a sketch. And then your vibrator is going to respond instantly with the changes in intensity, pattern and duration. So you can just really get creative with this. Like I think you could let your small child do this too. You know, like I'm just saying if your kid is acting up there. This is your version of stick them. the corner with an iPad. They're not going to know what they're doing. I'm not saying they're going to use the sex toys, but I think a kid can have phone with this. You want your kid to DJ your vibrator pattern? No, I'm just joking. But I think of the etch of sketch days and like, you know, it's so easy. Even boys can do it. Yeah, even boys can do it. So again, it's just really fun to like draw on your screen and have your vibrator respond instilling in the moment and like kind of create your own pattern in that way. So that is going to be the freestyle control. Yes. And what I like about the vibe studio is

So for all of our different vibrators, you know, there's a wand, there's air pulse suction vibes. The poppy was just a handheld vibrator, like in the palm of your hand. And in the vibe studio, you can program different types of vibes so that if you want high intensity, low intensity, if you want a pulsation. And then you can assign it to a toy. So what I would say is like, I like the air pulse a little lower because I come too hard from it. Or Ashley Max. I'm going to call something like my Debbie vibe and then I'm going to assign like a lower vibration to it. No, I think you can call whatever you want.

I don't want to gloss over that. You can call it like... Call it anything you want. Hot contractor. You could call it who you're about to masturbate to. You could name these. They listen to it so you know this team listened. Okay.

Okay. So maybe it's Raina's new house. Like you just like... First night in the new house. And you just want to have your patterns and your intensities for that. Like, I just love that you can title these sessions essentially. Yeah. The types of patterns and intensities you want for the toy.

Because, again, And like Raina said, it's going to be different with certain toys. Like, the Ashtamax is so powerful. Like, I use it a lot and I keep it on like the lower setting. Right. But the poppy, which is like a palm vibe, it has a finger grip on it. I like a higher intensity because it's just vibration and it's a smaller toy and it's not sucking on my clip.

Yes. So I go a little harder with that one. Yes. Of course. And like the friendship bracelet ones that we sell at the shows, we have this incredible, we call it the Vibes bracelet and we sell it at our live shows and like, you got to jack that one up. You know, it's like petite and I'm a full 10 on that. Ham girl.

Yeah. And then last thing about this, we have all the manuals for the toys in the app, which we're really proud of. I mean, I toss a manual out so quickly and then I don't know how to use anything.

So they're all in the app programmed in there and that's a free feature, of course, just get in there and you learn how to use your vibes and we make it really simple for you. And the app is free to get into.

So get in there, play around, see what you guys think. It's just going to enhance the experience even more. And I don't know. I can't masturbate the same way every day anymore.

I've got to switch it up each day. Yeah, exactly. We're going to be masturbating more than ever to get through this next lifetime. And so this is the time to do it. And again, we really want you guys to get in the app and use it. It is free to get in there. But then some features are going to be part of your subscription, which is paid. But you don't have to use it with our toys, just to be clear, all the toys will work on their own.

But this really takes them to the next level. And you are going to get more patterns and more intensities and all these fun features. But you can still always buy vibrated from vibes only and just hit it manual, raw dog it. And then we have our suck and blow gels, which are so incredible. And we're talking about them today with our guest, Caroline, she was very excited about it. She said blowjob and I was like, screw. Yeah. Like we just, I can't hear blowjob and not be like, we're going to get into that today.

Yeah. So we talk about that with her and I think that's going to change her life. But right now we have the red velvet and the sugar cookie. Yeah. So you can enhance your oral sex, whether it's on a penis, on a vulva and have it taste like red velvet or sugar cookie for the holidays. Make your nipples taste like red velvet. There you go.

I'm going to be a transition into getting pregnant. But I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. My brother. The toys that you can play with? Yeah. And that's how you get pregnant. Trying to have a baby.

You know, like do some stuff. I don't know. Usually I'm better at transitions to you guys. But my brother and his wife had the baby this weekend and I just like couldn't be happier. That bitch was pregnant for so long. No, that was. I was like, are we going to be done here? No, they definitely could get her due day wrong.

It had to be. I know. That baby was cooking in there for so long. Two full weeks after her due date, right? Insane. Insane. I was like, are we done yet? Every morning.

I was like, where the fuck is this kid? What is happening over there in London? They're just keeping him in there longer? Her parents, like, flew out there, like, way before. They thought, like, it would be baked by then. And, like, nope, they just had to, like, extend the trip. But he had the baby, and he's, like, healthy and sweet and wonderful. He looks so much like my brother.

Listen, it's like, yeah, no shit. It's his kid. No, no, no. I've never seen a kid. No, you guys don't know. The spitting image of a parent that much, like hour one. The spitting image of an adult. Like, what is that?

Like, I will not. And then I was just like, I was showing pictures to my fiance to sparkle eyes. He's like, he does look like a person. And I'm like, no, but you don't know right? His brother. And I'm trying to find pictures of your brother. He's on an Instagram. And I'm like, you don't understand.

You don't understand. The way he looks is, this is crazy. Look at his nose. He is like an adult's nose. Like literally, okay, what is that note? I mean, he just doesn't have that like smashed up baby face. Like, he looks like a fool, a fully grown child. Literally all of your brother's features.

Like, if they walked in the room, you guys wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Like, it's insane. Because they're both so short. They're the same height and weight. No, it's crazy. Like, did she contribute at all? So I was going to say to you, like, nothing would fuck me up more than if I worked on a project. A group project for nine months, but I did all the work.

Yes. And none of the results reflected me. That's so funny. I would be so mad. I would, like, hesitate to, like, say that to her. Like, he looks exactly like my brother. Like, he's like, everybody keeps saying the kid looks so much like me. And I'm like, yeah.

You think? Yeah. So then in turn, he kind of looks like you. He looks more like you than her. He does. The Greenbergs have really strong jeans, though. Like, my brother and I look exactly like my dad. Like, our whole family all looks like the Greenberg side of the family.

Yeah. It looks exactly like my brother, but I was, so I just started setting everybody pictures. I want, like, every picture of this child. And every hour, I'm like, you didn't send me a picture of what he's doing. Like, they went home today. They sent me all these pictures of them with the dog, meeting the baby, and it's so cute. I just, I want like a picture of everything he does, every breath he takes. And I want all those, but I started sending them to other people.

And like, I'm like, where's the line? Like, this isn't even my baby. So, like, I'm not like, look how cute my baby is. Like, when I send them to people, it's like, look how cute this other person's baby is. Yeah. So, like, where's the line at which you are annoying other people? Also, by the way, this is still a novelty to me. This is day three.

Yeah. So I don't care. You know me. I'll tell you. We've hit the line. Here's the thing. I think there's got to be a hook. You know, like, I don't want to see the same stuff.

I also don't need to see your brother's naked chest. Okay. Like, I don't need the skin to skin from, for Marlin. I phacimed him for the first time thinking she wouldn't answer the phone. No. So it goes to voice mail. Then she calls me back. I get a face time from her.

But it's him in the bed with the baby. and I'm like, where is she? And he's like, she's standing up next to me. And I'm like, why are you in the bed? I could be a dad. She's standing up next to you. She just gave birth 24 hours. She's eating.

She's next to me. She'll figure it out. But, you know, like, I love that dads want to have like skin to skin contact. I think it's like really special. Like, Matt did that. I'm sure dad's listening. You guys did that. You know, it's like, but I don't need to see it.

It's like a little too much. Like, I don't. It's too intimate. I don't like it. Yeah. I think at one point the baby thought his nipple was like her nipple. Well, how's he supposed to know? He is an adult.

But it's funny because I don't think you have it in you to go too hard. I don't think you're going to become a completely different person now that you're an aunt. You know, like, I think you'll feel it when you're like, I've gone too far. I've done too much. I've sent too many photos. But I think I'm like, they got to have a hook to him. Like, is this funny in any way? Is it different than the last one?

Totally. You know, Matt sent a picture to the family group chat of Jay, took a poop in the part. body and that is my line. It was the poop. The poop was in there. No. This is a huge deal. People don't want this.

Yes, they do. My parents did. I'm telling you, like, they're so proud. Could you've gotten a photo without the turd? I think you could have just said Jay took a poop in the potty. Like, he had to show the turd. I was standing there. We were so proud.

Like, everybody's going to be like, prove it. This is what parents love the shit. And I, poop is my line. Literally. Because even Matt was like, Jay is like advanced. And it's like crazy. he's pooping in the potty. I'm sorry, it really is. Like, he's just going to be potty trained because he's so smart that it's like, hey, Jay,

this is where you go to the potty. And he's like, okay. Like, he is getting fully potty trained. It's like, it's so crazy. So I get it. It's like such a proud moment to see that turd and be like he did it. And even Matt, when he sent it to the family group chat said, sorry, Ash. Like, he knows. I poop is the line for me. He don't want it. I don't want it. I don't ever want to see that. But, right, I'm telling you, when your brother one day sends a picture that turd, he'll be so proud. Like, you will be the one to be like, the line has been crossed and your parents will probably eat it up. Oh, that is so disgusting. It wasn't like a close up of a dougy. But you're like, show me some range. And Matt's like, I'll show you some range. You ever seen a photo of a poop before?

I remember this mom friend of mine, I can't, I think she posted this on Facebook, which was totally rogue. And it was like her two kids and they were both in the shower. And they were both in the shower. and one of the kids had like taken a shit in the shower. And it was like this turd on the shower floor. And I was like, I've never needed more like validation that kids are not for me. And I'm like, please get the poop off of Facebook. Like we have to draw the line. Yeah, I draw the line of poop.

Fomit. I don't want vomit. Okay. That's the line. But I'm with you. I don't really want an excessive amount of photos of anybody's kid, let alone like a, I'm like one degree removed from this kid. Like I'm sending, you know, it's not my kid.

Yeah, I mean, I send you pictures of Jay and you've talked to them too, obviously, on your own. But yeah, to me, I'm like, if I really have, if something is so special, so cute, it's, like, different in some way. They're doing something special. I have, like, a real reaction to it. Like, I'll shoot it off to you. I like photos of him. I think he's so cute. But, yeah, you keep it respectful.

And the hierarchy, I don't really want people, photos of people's dogs. You don't really send me photos of a Zol. He has to be doing something, like, really cute. You're in person with Zol all the time. Why would I ever send you a picture of a Zol? A lot of people sent pictures. Like, unless he was doing something crazy. Like, to me, I'm like, what is the hook here?

What's the reaction? Is this funny? Is this like, oh. Like, that dog has sent you a photo. The dog I sent you a photo of that black dog with the sunglasses hanging its head off the window. Yeah. That was worthy. Like, I sent you a picture of a Zool recently for some reason and you, like, laughed.

It was funny. Uh-huh. Guys that are too obsessed with their dogs, we talked about it. I just, I don't need, like, a ton of photos of your dogs. I don't care that much. Yeah. It looks like a dog. Yeah, it's too much.

Yeah. Okay. But I, you know, three and. a half years with Azul, like, I have not slowed on taking photos at all. He's still my whole camera all. Every time I look at him, I'm like, I love you more today than I did. You know, like, the way I has not gotten old to me at all. Every single thing he does, it's the same thing he did yesterday. I'm just snapping away. Like, I really do feel like that. I know, watch you. I'm sure people feel like that about their kids. Obviously they do. I know that they do. Like, Matt is like,

Steph and I will lay in bed at night and like, look at the pictures of Jay. We took that day. Like just to relive him while he's sleeping, you know. Which I think a lot of parents feel. that they're just obsessed. Yeah, I want a photo of everything this kid did. But also like, there's no babies in my family. So like, with the second kid, like, it's funny because like our, one of our girlfriends was saying to me, she was like, the first kid I wanted of her nephew. She was like, I wanted a photo of everything that he did. But then they had a daughter and she's like, I don't care about anything that kid does. She's like, it's not a first anymore. I don't care. I don't want photos of it anymore. That's the thing. Like with Aaron, he's so close behind

Jay and Jay and just did this shit. Like, I can't speak for Matt and Steph, but. for me personally these things are not the biggest deal. How did it a year ago? Yeah. Like, Jay already did that.

Oh, you're crawling, cool. Get on Jay's level. Let's talk about adults. Okay. This Instagram post came across my desk. I sent it to you and wanted to talk to you about it.

So this is from psychology posts and they were pulling from a study. You and I actually went to the study and tried to understand it. No, I feel smarter from trying to read that study. I feel dumber. A little bit of both.

But this was pulled from a study that was by a bunch of people. I know you guys can go look at the post. But couples engaging in unhealthy activities together, such as lounging and eating junk food, reportedly feel closer than those opting for healthier habits, a study found. And so it goes on to say shared problematic behaviors can foster closeness and satisfaction in the short term, despite the fact they're maintaining potentially unhealthy behaviors. So they focused on things like drinking, eating junk food, sedentary behavior, not like shooting heroin.

Well, yes. So, right. There was, and there was a spectrum, like smoking and drinking is different than binge watching Netflix, too. You know what I mean? We're talking about like substances or whatever versus just like, you know, being lazy on the couch. But I found this, I did find this like really interesting. And we were trying to figure out, I mean, basically the study concluded with like they do shared sedentary behavior and some of these problematic behaviors go along with enhanced closeness and relationship

satisfaction on a daily level. but we didn't really see anything on like, does this mean like long term? But I don't know if that's necessarily the point. I think it's just like this makes you feel closer day to day. So then long term vis-a-vis better long term. I mean, it just depends because you're like, how far does this go? You know, if you're a couple that you are just eating junk food on the couch for years, yeah, you feel close. And then one day you wake up, you're like, we're really unhealthy. Yeah. Yeah. So and then there's, I'm sure there's couples out there that are like, no, we don't do that. We cycle and hike together and that's how we feel close and that's the type of person that those people are. I have never felt closer to somebody by taking a hike with them. I will say that. I've never like played a game of tennis and felt like closer. I think it's nice to like veg and lay around in bed all day and not have somebody that's like, don't act like that. Just get up. You know, I mean, obviously there comes a point where you cross the line. There's too much of it, whatever. And that's your entire relationship personality. But like I just love somebody's not going to shame me for doing that. Yeah. They're going to lane bed with me all Sunday, wash football and eat food that's bad for me.

And it's not just like, let's just get up and take a run. That's not going to make me feel closer to you. Right. Yeah. Like, you're the epitome of that meme. I'm terrified to marry into a family that runs a 5K on Thanksgiving. Like, could you imagine? No.

You wouldn't do it. I think it's all about balance. We were talking about that. Like, I just, I still need the partner that's willing to do some of the piece of shitness with me. I mean, my favorite type of day with a partner includes, both. And that's like my favorite type of day that I would have solo. Like I really love to go, go, go, do stuff, feel accomplished, whatever it is. If it's a hike or, you know, if it's even like a solo workout or if it's like doing stuff running around New York City, for example, and doing a bunch of

stuff and kind of feeling tired at the end of the day and then just veging out, you know, like a mix of both. But I was telling you, like one of the, my favorite things about my fiance is that he loves to veg. Like he really just loves to be like comfortable and but he's like a really active, hardworking like person in life. But like his downtime, like he really likes to just like relax. But he will also do anything that I want to do too and what his friends want to do. You know, like he will do the hike and we travel.

We have we've had nonstop days when we're traveling. You know, he wants to see the world. Like we've gone canoeing. Like we were on the swan boats. and Echo Park the other day. Like, he wants to try new foods. Like, he will just do both. And he's just happy doing both, you know, but I don't think you always get that.

Like, I think you get someone that just wants to veg and be lazy all the time. And then you get some guys that are go, go, go, go all the time. They can't really relax. They want to wake up and go work out and hit the gym. And they don't want to really want to eat badly. And, you know, the balance is, like, really important to me. And I really love the days where we are, like, lazy. Like, I remember one weekend, I think it was the new.

New Year's Eve weekend of last year. Like, we watched, like, 10 movies. Like, we, the weather wasn't great. We wanted to lay around, watch football, like, make food, order food. We wanted, obviously, do the New Year's party. But aside from that, we did not do much. And it was great. I think that, like, there's a few things here.

You want to find somebody that you can do those things with you enjoy doing those things with. Yeah. That you're not, like, you just, that you enjoy the sedentary company of them. Like, it's not like, we always have to be doing something. Like, I've been in a relationship with people were like, I really only enjoyed them during activities because like that's that's what they brought to my life was the activities. Let's go to a sports game. Let's go to a new restaurant.

But like I didn't necessarily enjoy them laying around doing nothing. We have nothing but our brains to entertain each other. That's a great call. Like do you actually want to lay around with somebody and just, you know, do nothing with them? Those are the moments when you realize that you genuinely want to be with somebody. And I need somebody with balance like you were saying like, I want somebody that gives me permission to start drinking at 11 a.m.

That sounds great. I want to do that sometimes with you. And I don't want you to like shame. me, but like I'd also like you to look like you don't drink every day at 11 o'clock in the morning. You know, like, I'd like you to have some balance in your life. Yeah. And sometimes it's not worth it to get off the couch. And we were, we had a Saturday where we, like, we're like watching Abbott Elementary is what we've been watching recently. We were just having like a great time cuddle up in the couch. I was like, we should do something. It's a beautiful day. I was like, let's just like go down to the

beach and we'll walk along the beach and then we'll pop up and we'll be like a long Santa Monica and we'll stop in and get a drink. And there was a full on like Trump parade. rally so loud, so crazy, honking flags. And that ruined my day. Yeah, leaving your house for the day. And I was like, we shouldn't have left the house. We got back to the house. We were like, we're safe. And we stayed at the house until we had to go to dinner. We like brought in snacks and like had some beers on the roof. We're like, we're just going to stay at the house now. So it was, you know, sometimes there's times when you're like, we should just stay in the couch. But there's moments I think about in the relationship that like I remember one time last year on the holidays. We got up. We like had coffee.

We had breakfast. We watched a movie at 9 a.m. Nothing feels, you said this few months and I was like, I haven't, nothing is more luxurious than a morning movie. Oh my God. If I am drinking coffee and watching a movie. My bed? Like, I remember those moments. Like, yes, they bring you closer.

I don't want somebody that's like, come on, let's go do something. I just, there's like some people I'm thinking of like I know would make me do that. Like, well, I take a walk every morning. It's a four mile walk. Like, my dad has to work out every single day. He doesn't care of his partner does it. But like, he's not laying around with you. My dad is, like, so regimented and sent his ways.

He's all 70s. It's a little different. But he can't, like, be swayed one or the other. And, like, that would not, I can't date my dad. Basically, that would not be okay. Unfortunately for you. Yeah, I mean, I'm the doer. I'm the, like, making plans.

Let's go out and do stuff. And I just, I love that he is always down. But if I didn't want to, he'd be like, yep, well, stay here. Yeah, I was trying to think, like, what's the dynamic in my past relationships. It's pretty much just what I feel like doing is what we do. I feel like I've just always kind of been in charge. I've never had somebody that was like all go, go, go or all lay around because like I'm neither of those things. I think people just kind of like let me be in charge.

Yeah. But, you know, when I'm going to Boston, he plans all the dates and he has a bunch of plans, you know, like when we're on his turf. Yeah. But a lot of the plans will be lying around too. It's nice. It's a nice balance. But you were saying earlier, like some of this is just like misery loves company, like just the bonding of like we're doing something bad. You know, like we're eating something bad.

Like that bonds you to people. Yeah, it's nice. I love like a food crawl. If somebody was like, I think we've eaten enough for today, what? What did you just say to me? I don't understand. Why are you shaming me? I don't think we should go shopping.

What? We spend enough money. Yeah. That's not supportive behavior. Right. That's why we say partner in crime. You know, you were looking for a partner to do bad things. And again, it might be crime for some of you.

But if your crime is just like drinking on the couch and Netflix seeing like your partner's in crime now. I was thinking, did you want to start drinking soon? That's for 30? Yeah, it's for 30, you know? Oh, it's dark out now. It's almost dark. So, yeah. Now that it's dark, that's when I started drinking.

So yeah, I like the study. I thought it was very funny. So you hear it here first. Laying around and eating shit will bring you closer to your partner than working out together. Yeah, the Thanksgiving 5K crowd is going to be upset with this one. But I get it too. Like being active and exercise makes me feel good.

So doing the partner makes, like you get the endorphins high, you know, like that can make you bond you too. just hormonally. It depends. Listen, I'm not going to lie. Last Thanksgiving in the morning, me, my brother, his wife, and my dad all went to the gym. All four us went to the gym together. Did you feel close to the doctor?

Or mad at them. I was just in my workout era back then. I think that it was just like a nice thing to all do together. Yeah. This year no. Yeah. All right. Well, let us know what you guys think.

Yeah. All right. Well, before we jump into it, we're just going to thank a couple of our partners and then we'll meet Caroline. Okay. So I'm going to tell you. guys about built. If you are a renter, this is for you. I rent. So I love this. I'm speaking to myself. And this is a way you can really just take advantage of renting with built. So build has changed

the game by letting renters earn high value points on rent and around their neighborhood. So we really love this. I mean, obviously, who doesn't love the idea of like getting rewards when you spend? But like since rent is like a lot of our biggest expenses, you can really get those rewards. So there is no cost to join Bill. And as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and on your everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines. Like I mentioned, the travel of it all. And even the ones you haven't heard of, there are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world. You can redeem your built points towards. Points can also be redeemed toward a future rent payment and unique experiences that only built members can access. So if

you're not earning points on rent, we have to ask you, why not? You can start. You can start. earning points on rent, you're already paying by going to joinbilt.com slash g-ge. That's j-o-in-b-l-t.com slash g-ge. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you, joinbuilt.com slash g-ge to start earning points on your rent payments today. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, so to start this off, Better Up wants us to take a moment to thank someone in our lives. So I'm going to thank Tesla. I accept your thank you. This is awkward. No, I think Tessa too, I guess. No, I'm moving.

Tessa's been tremendously helpful with me, organizing everything. And Ashley, also thank you to you. I brought you the champagne. She's like, this show was my idea. So Tessa wouldn't even be here. You did bring me that champagne. We would have found you somehow, Tessa. Yeah, we would have found you somehow in this life.

But this month is all about gratitude. And along with the person that I just shouted out the two people. But there's another person we don't think enough, ourselves. It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, this isn't easy. So, you know, I think that that's where therapy can really come in with better help is, like, reminding yourself to slow down, thank yourself, be proud of yourself, look at the successes that you've had this year.

Look at the wins. I think that so many of us evaluate our year by the losses and what we didn't do. But, like, it's really nice to slow down and just figure out, like, what did I do well? And thank ourselves for it. And there's all kinds of reasons to start therapy, so whether it's for positive coping skills or setting boundaries. It empowers you to be your best self, whether it's in your romantic relationships, your friendships, professionally. There's so much that it can bring it to your life. So we really believe in it. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online,

designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched to the licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Let the gratitude flow with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash gGE today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelphelp.com slash G-G. Okay. Let's get into it. All right, guys, we are so excited to welcome our guest today. She is an L.A.-based mom of two better known as Shop with Caroline online, who has become a wildly successful lifestyle influencer, blogger, and motivational speaker amassing

over one million followers across social media. She is the host of the podcast coming in hot. All of which she has done in her 50s, Forbes called her, someone who makes you question the norms we have been conditioned to accept. Please welcome to the show, Caroline Bedino. Hi, you guys. Oh, God, that was just so inspiring. This is what we need these days. Just inspirational women. If anyone could just say that every time I walk into a room. People like our intros. You killed it. I mean, in your 50s, it's just like, you know, I love someone like you to look up to. We can't all just look up to J-Lo. Like, it's not

realistic, you know, whatever you feel about her or not. But you know what I'm saying? Like her turning 50 is like, you know, it's just like that's not attainable to most people. I'm not saying that your career is, but it's just like you're a real life role model to look up to as someone achieving so much success. That means so much. Honestly, to be this age, like you, you do. You think that 50s, it's over. I think women always are afraid of like midlife and getting older. And then when you hit it, it's like what your mom used to always say to me, she'd be like, well, I don't feel that old. Like, I don't, you know, like, I feel 20. And it is. There's this weird thing about aging. And I think you just get to this point where you stop giving a

fuck, like there is something about the 4-50 that I think you feel invincible and you feel like there's just so much time for everything. At 50, I can honestly tell you, like, I'm going to be 53 January 5th. And I'm literally thinking of like every, Capricorn. I'm literally thinking of like every single thing I want to do accomplish before it's over. Because now I'm like, wait, there might not be another 50 left. So I think this like confidence builds the not giving a shit builds, the just wanting to live your life, you know, unapologetically. Like, I think that just, that's when it hits, personally. Yeah, the not giving a fuck, like, it's just, I do think that certainly applies to 40s, but I think we still give a little bit. And, like, I think 50 is when it goes out the window. It really does.

Like, no fuck left to give in the good way. Not one. Like, I don't have one fuck to give. Like, I can honestly do that. And there is something about 40s. Like, I had kids at 38 and 40s. So I was feeling like 40s, I find to be one of the hardest times because actually, what women don't realize, menopause hits you way earlier. So people thinking it's in their 50s, it actually starts 10 years before, 10 years after. But that's just the reality that I feel like if you're prepared for it and you have some understanding of what's coming, which a lot of us just didn't. You realize like nobody talks about this stuff, but it's like knowledge is power. And once you know what's coming, you know how to prepare for it and then you know what you're dealing with,

trust me, you're in a way better headset. Like, you know, you're in that mind frame of like, okay, I can get through this. I can deal with this. But in your 40s, you're still, feeling a little of that insecurity, I think. You're still feeling a little bit of like, am I a good mom? You know, am I happily married? Like, how do I still look? I'm aging. I think 50, you are like, listen, ladies, okay? Listen, buddy. You know what I mean? You're just like, I don't give a fuck. I look amazing. And I'm just going to live my best life for whatever years I have left. And I do think there's a difference. I think 40 to 50s, I honestly do think there's a big difference. Well, good. I love to hear that. Yeah. Guys, get ready. Buckle up because it only gets

better. I swear. So you're a born-raised New Yorker, which I think already like people confidence, but like, were you always like this? Like, I like myself, I'm a bad bitch. I look great. I'm going to get it. Like, you were a New York City kid, which we were saying. I really, we are built different. I think there is a little bit of that, like, street sense. Yes. There is that like street tough. You know, we're from the streets, you guys. Like this. I'm from the streets. These 95 bangles are from the streets. You guys, she's right more jewelry than I even have in this house put together and I'm obsessed. We're We will discuss soon.

But it is. There is this weird, I think, New Yorker vibe that I think you do grow up with this weird confidence because you do have to be independent. You do have to kind of pay attention. You know, you have a little bit more freedom than a lot of kids growing up where your parents are driving you everywhere, right? So you kind of are on the streets. I think there's less fear.

You're a little bit more like willing to try shit, get away with stuff. So for me, I think when I was very young, I actually had zero friends. My mom said that when I was really young, she would take me to the park. I wouldn't talk to anybody. I would just like hold on to her leg, was super shy. And then I think what started to happen was my mom and my dad started to have marital problems. And my dad, unfortunately, was a cheater. And I think one of my mom, when I started to see the unhappiness, I started to have to be like the clown.

You know, I had to be like the happy one. Someone had to be happy. So I think I started to be this like positive force in the house. Do you know what I think I started to have to be like, okay, but we're good, right, mom? Like we're happy. We're good. And I think I started to put on that persona of everything's going to be okay. Like, we're going to be okay.

So I think that's where a little bit of that positive and happiness come from. It was more of that outer layer of I need to keep myself strong because someone has to be strong. And I think that's really where it came from, to be honest. All those traits come from somewhere. Like, your people are funny for a reason. Like, you know, I started to be funny because I just didn't think I was like pretty like the other girls or whatever. So I was like, well, I got to do something. You've got to do something, right, to get noticed.

I mean, my mom is like, she's always crying. Like, you just never know if he's going to leave. My sister just, you know, teenager, miserable, like, whatever it is, that you're kind of left alone and you're like, I just want to be seen. You don't want to get in trouble. You don't want to make any trouble. But, like, you do want some attention. So I had to be like the sweet, happy one. Yeah.

I think everyone who's like that I do think comes from trauma somewhere. Right. Okay. Well, now that I brought us all down. Yeah. I'm sorry. I think it's a really common trouble. Yeah.

I think it's really common trope of like there was a lot of chaos and drama in my family. And I thought I had to be the one that like my feelings didn't matter because it was, you know, everybody else's were more important. There were issues and dramas were bigger. So we appreciate you sharing it. And it sounds like you built a totally different opposite type of life for yourself. We're talking about your husband who's a twin. You know what's funny is my mom was always dressed and always had her makeup and lipstick on

because people always are like, well, you always like this. And my mom, you always knew if she was okay and happy when she was done up. So when she wasn't, it was like signaling, I think, to all of us like, oh shit. Like her lipstick's not fucking on. Like what's happening? And it was when she was depressed or she was down, she wouldn't put herself together. She wouldn't make that effort. And I just remember always like watching how she looked would directly affect how we all felt.

Because it would tell us what's going on with her. So I think that's why it's something with like getting dressed was always something for me. Because I think visually it was something. And the way that you look, the way that you dressed it, throughout like your 20s, 30s, 30s, 40s, 50s, like the self-talk of, like, this is how I want to appear today. This is what my style. Like, did you have, like, a big shift or you were always kind of like this? You know what? I really was always like high school, college, like I went to GW. If you knew me, like, I have never won sweats to a class. I have never, for real.

Like, seriously, like, I've never been in sweats, never traveled. I've always have jeans on and a nice sweater or a shirt on. Like, I've never been in sweats or pajamas. Actually, maybe recently. But it's one of those that my mom always thought going out was a special occasion, and she's not going to the theater or going out for dinner. So like, we always had to be dressed up. And she was always like, how you look. That's how people see you. And it was definitely something that was talked about a lot in our house. So we were always dressed up, always had to get dressed. And for me, I think my style, my mom always had the jewels on. My dad's Cuban. He has chains on all the time, which is where I got it. The Cuban links. Like, what are the Cuban links he did?

And like, we would just always be dressed up. And I think my style was very New York. in the sense of monochromatic, like, keep it simple, elegant, classic. And then I'm a little edgy. Like, I do like pops of color, a little bit edgy. All the jewelry, the animal prints. Like, I like to funk everything up a little bit. So I think this has been my style always. I have a little more fun with it now, I think, in my 50s.

Because I think now I feel even more confident because I don't give a shit if you like it or not. So have you always been big with the jewelry, like the volume? You know what? Yeah. I might have taken a bit of a break, like during when the kids were little, which during COVID, no, I'm just going to. No, not during COVID. You want it harder during COVID?

I was dead to, I was wearing sequence pants and a fucking cowboy had at one point. Everyone thought I had lost my mind. And I literally was like, I want to walk out of here looking fabulous and feeling fabulous while you guys all let yourselves go while you guys all like drop down like you're dying. I was like, I'm going to get up. I'm going to get dressed every day. I stayed on my routine. stayed on my schedule, still wore all the jewels. I still, everyone thought it was crazy, but by the end of it, by the end of it,

everybody was like, shit, you're right. Like, I'm starting over again. Like, now I got to lose 10 pounds. I have to go buy clothes. It was funny that I was like, you're like, I stay ready. So I don't have to get ready. I was ready for this pandemic. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I was born ready. I do want to talk about the jewelry. I love, like, I don't even know where to start. Like, I wouldn't know where to start with this like amount. Just go upstairs and put on everything. Seriously. But it doesn't look.

Like it's still look styled because there's one color. Do you just go for it? I do go for it. So it is something that, yes, they have piled on like throughout the years. Now it's become crazy because I love supporting women. And a lot of, all of this is all women designers. I love that. All women.

Or women jewelers. Literally a walking billboard for women jewelry. So I started just kind of collecting. And then as I started, I started making more friends, friends who are jewelers. And I love jewelry. I just think it's in more. most incredible investment. Like to me, that's never a trend. Anything that you can make money on, I think is worth it. I think it's an investment. So like you can always resell a bag,

you can always resell some jewelry, property, whatever. So love jewelry. I've always worn a lot of it. My dad always wore tons of necklaces. My mom loves the jewelry. My sister wears nothing. Doesn't like any of it. Doesn't wear it. She does not wear makeup. Rejected all of us. Me? Throw every piece I can get my hands on. I'm like, we're going to die. It's like, we're going to die at some point. I'm not taking it with me. I don't know why it's sitting in a closet. I don't know why these beautiful things that I've like, you know, spent my money on. Why wouldn't I wear and enjoy it? And yes, is it too much? Yes. But I'm always like, you know, I just don't. I just don't care. I just love it. I'm like, she's wearing jeans and a blazer.

Like, I could do this. Like I could, but like, I can't do this. But yes, you can. We're going to fucking force you into this. But the jewelry is like, this is a friend of ours. And she's been on the show too. She's a stylist, Lily and Charles. She's amazing. And she's so big on the jewelry and how it changes your whole look and your outfit. It's like armor to me. Yeah, that's what she says. Yeah. It makes me so happy. And when this comes off, I miss it. It's weird. Like a day or two or I really try. I'll have like one necklace on. I'm like, this is cute. This is sweet. Like this is a little, you know, this is very delicate. And then I'm like, fuck this. I start piling them back on. I like love it. I weirdly, it does make me happy.

You inspire me. I need to do more. Yeah. Wear all your mom's stuff. I just make fun of me because I have so much jewelry. Because this is how I'm making myself. But you need to like just put it all on. It's great conversation piece. Somebody will always ask you about it. So people who are shy, I always say put on some jewelry. People always ask you about it.

For real. They do. Like any restaurant as much as I will be like this might, you know, like you always, of course, your kids and this. I don't care anymore. But other people, you know, of course people love to tell you you're too much. And I'm always like, well then please go find less respectfully. Yes.

You're like, ma'am, this is the Wendy's. This is me. No. I'm just kidding. I'm like, come on. We're having fun. I'm like, life's too short.

I think everyone's taking everything just too seriously. And like, no one's having fun anymore. Do you know what I like about this? And we asked our audience, you know, what do you want to talk about

in terms of feeling confident? Yeah. People said, like, I feel invisible as I get older, you know, and I'm almost 40. And I live in L.A. It's not,

I'm not blind to the fact that everybody running around me is these 25-year-old little models. And sometimes I walk into a bar and, It's just, it's a different experience than it used to be for me. And it's probably in my head, but I'm just like, men don't want to talk to me as much. I want to talk to these 25-year-old girls.

And I don't feel invisible and I like myself and I'm very happy with myself. But it can make you be like, am I invisible to people? But like you've sort of gone the opposite route and like refused to be invisible. Literally. And I love that you said that because that's the most DMs that we get. It is women saying that as they become moms and wives, especially, they become invisible. And it's like, you do. You become the caretaker.

Well, and losing your identity. Completely lose your identity. You start to look different because, of course, you've gotten through pregnancies. You don't feel like yourself. Now you're walking past the mirror. You don't really recognize yourself. You're there. You don't get any sleep.

You're exhausted. You're anxious. You are doing, you know, most moms, like at the end of the day are doing mostly everything for everyone. And you do start to lose yourself. Like, I'm somebody who is so independent and I fell trapped too. Because with no sleep, no help, and feeling like the world's responsibilities are on your shoulders because no one tells you the truth. No one tells you how hard it is to be married.

No one tells you how hard it is to have kids. As beautiful as it is, it's fucking hard. And nobody prepares you for that. So for me, it was always like, I need to find myself again. Like, it's so easy to lose yourself in 24-7 taking care of children. And why do women feel lost when the kids leave, Empty Nest Syndrome? Because all you have done is take care of everyone. And you don't even, you walk past that mirror, you don't recognize yourself anymore.

You don't even know who you are, what you like, You look different, you feel different, and you haven't done anything in what people think 18 years. You've been raising kids, but that's not considered a job to anybody. So women do feel invisible. They do feel completely lost. And I'm always here to say, like, you're not lost. You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience.

You really are. Like the experience that I have, again, the zero fucks, I have so many boundaries now. Like with my own family, I have boundaries. With my husband, with my kids, with my parents. Like, when you start to realize that your life, your time, how you feel is just as important as how everybody else feels. Because I'm always like, I get that you want to take care of your kids and your husband. That's great.

You want them to be happy. But you're supposed to be happy too. There isn't a, it's them and not you. You're supposed to be happy too. So for me, finding confidence in that again is you have to ask for help. Like I think women, we've gotten on these high horses that like we have to do it all, which is all great. But there is this thing of like, the second you do it all,

you're coming home to do it all too. So are we really supposed to be not having a second for ourselves? We're not allowed to get dressed anymore. We're not allowed to do like any hobbies we loved or see friends or have fun. Yes, you are supposed to do those things. And I think that's what gives you the confidence back is reminding yourself of who you were before life took you down. Because like we all remember who we were in our 20s and 30s and what we liked and how we

looked. And I'm always like, just think back to that and start bringing a little that back in. The most successful people will tell you it's because the team they built around them or the people they ask for help from recognizing people are smarter than you and better than you and then bringing them in to help. I just think it's the biggest thing that like that's a whole reason why you're able to scale a business. And we're not necessarily talking about business here when it comes to that, but it applies to everywhere else of asking for help. Absolutely. But I always think don't forget that you are. I think women forget how capable they are,

how smart, like you can do hard things. You are so strong. And I think it's funny because my mom used to always say, I'm so stupid or I don't know how to do. Meanwhile, she made every huge decision in her house. She really did. Like, she's the one who got the house, is that this made every important decision. But she never felt smart. She felt like she didn't know how to do anything. And I'm always like, but we know how to do everything. And you are way smarter than you think. You've got to get started. Like, it has to start with you. Then the help comes in. But yes, I think having a good team, like what we talked about, picking a good partner. I think women are always rushing to the end. I don't know why anyone's rushing to the end.

Marriage and kids are so fucking hard. Like travel, be an interesting person. You know, like make money. You know how to take care of yourself. All of those things bring you confidence. I think what takes away women's confidence is they start depending on the man. And then all of a sudden, all of your independence starts to go.

Once you're not making the money, you lose control. You lose power. Yeah. Being in a relationship, no matter what the financial dynamic is, if it's a bad relationship, you just start to doubt your whole self-worth, value, decisions, all the things. Especially if you want him to pay, you know, if he's paying for things, like, on top of that, totally.

You dumb down a bit. You, like, silence your voice a bit. You have to give in more. So you start seeing women kind of lose a little bit of themselves. Right? And it's like, I watched my mom do it. I've watched friends do it. And then you kind of wonder why do women feel lost?

Because you don't know where the money is. I have a friend that just said, like, I could never get a job. I haven't worked in like 18 years. And I was like, but you were. the producer of some, like, you're so smart. What do you mean you can't get a job? But we get put in this position of as if when we get older, we're useless. Actually, we couldn't be smarter.

We are multitaskers. We know how to handle so much stress. And like, we're actually at our best selves. And yet we think we're nothing. Moms who are like running a household, kids. I mean, watch what my sister-in-law does. I'm like, anyone should hire her to do anything because the amount of multitasking and stress and able to stay calm in all this like chaos.

No, people were saying that like, you should be hiring moms for everything. Because they're like, you know, they say moms they don't hire because they don't have any skill sets. They have every fucking skill sets. They have the skill sets. Like, I feel like there's jobs that like a mother who's raised children, even stay at home, running a household, all that kind of stuff. And like put her in some high stress jobs.

She'd be like, this is fucking child. She'd be like, listen, you sit down. She'd be like, everyone shut the fuck up. That's what we're doing. But it's true. And it's like women, again, they lose the sense of confidence, but it's there. Because they don't have like the resume. I get where they're like, I'm not qualified.

I haven't done this type of work in this many years. So it's like, I get the fear, but I like personally feel like believe in your skill set of what you've done. Always. And everything you've done. And the truth is we live in a world now that you have YouTube, you have Google. Right. You can learn anything. Like literally, it's all at your fingertips.

So you actually can go do it. Like there is nothing stopping you. Totally. Except for your own self-doubt. Like it is. It's all this fear that we put in ourselves. And sometimes your partner, because, again, no one wants boundaries. Sometimes the husband and the kids don't want you to be doing anything because you're catering to them.

How inconvenient is your boundaries to everybody. Everyone's not getting what they want. Of course it makes it hard. They may not make it hard. But you are the most important person. I honestly think that you putting your oxygen mask on first every single morning, genuinely. They say it on every fucking plane. And yet women don't live.

listen. Moms don't listen. And it's like it isn't selfish to take care of yourself. Like self-care is not selfish. Like genuinely, it is your oxygen mask. And if you're not taking care of yourself, like how are you taking care of everyone else? And to me, when you look like shit, you kind of feel like shit. And I'm like, why are we setting that example and why are we normalizing women not having the time for themselves? Right. Right. Okay, we're just going to take a quick break. Okay, Raina, question for you. How would you feel if you lost your libido? My sex drive. Is that like a serious question?

I'd never recover. I know, right? Well, the fact is millions of premenopausal women are frustrated because they lost their libido. But we are here to let you know that there's a treatment called Adi that is clinically proven to boost libido in certain premenopausal women. And this isn't some sketchy gas station pill. It's FDA approved. Talk to your doctor to see if Adi is right for you. And again, it is clinically proven.

I love the women have this option. Same. You can go learn more at Addie. That is A-D-D-Y-I-com. Addie, or Flavanserine, is for premenapausal women with acquired generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner.

The low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or a medicine or other drug use. Addie is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is increased if you drink one to do standard alcoholic drinks close in time to your Adi dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking Addie at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you take certain prescriptions, over-the-counter or herbal medications, or have liver problems.

Low blood pressure and painting can happen when you take Adi, even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic to any of the ingredients in Adi. Allergic reactions may include hives, itching, or trouble breathing. Sleepiness, sometimes serious can occur. Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide, including boxed warning at adi.com slash PI or call 844 pink pill. Adi. That is A-D-D-D-Y-I.com. Okay, so we are back into it.

I understand the pressure, though. I mean, my dad was great. He was involved. He was down the street. My mom was like the Monday through Friday mom. She was a single parent. We didn't have a ton of money. There wasn't like get up and look good in the morning for her. Like, that wasn't really an option. But I do think she would have been happier if one hour per week. she would have just gone and done something for herself. And I really, I'm not a mom. So I don't even know how hard that must be because like, yeah, it's easy for me to look at people and be like, just take an hour for yourself once a way.

You care. It's got a manicure. But like how hard really is that? Like you had to ask your husband, I guess, for help. And you had to say like, I need to be happy first also. So like was there like a breaking point for you where you're like hard stop needs some meet time sometimes? It really was.

The real breaking point was a phone call. Like my husband was working literally traveling Sunday or 3. Thursday, Monday to Friday. I'm with two kids under the age of two. Fucking, you know, literally 41 years old. I was like, I'm exhausted. No, stop. That just made me feel hot. Like, honestly, I was like, I'm 41 and that's what my brother has. And to think of the two together. Like, imagine. Back to back, like, I was like this. I was like, what have I done? I was like, what have I done? I was like, John's never home. We can't afford any help. Like, you know, my parents were like, good luck. You know, you don't want to marry the So I was like, tusha, my friend. I was like, you got me.

But what was interesting was, that's the truth. She wasn't wrong, but we were able to build it later. But it's true. Like in that moment, you're like, fuck, I want the night nurse. I want the, you know, like, you're like, how does anyone do this? It is fucking scary. No one tells you the truth. And you don't have time.

Like, when you're that overwhelmed, you don't have time when you haven't slept. Right. I know for me, it was like, I got this phone call. my mom is hysterically screaming crying and she's like your dad has Alzheimer's he's been diagnosed because you know we had said like he seems off the last two times I had visited like he was forgetting things repeating things bottom line two years of taxes haven't been paid money is missing she has no idea where anything is she's hysterical and she's like you have to take care of us now it's on you because no one speaks to my sister she's like you're in charge and I just remember like I have a kid on the

floor a kid on my thing I'm like this like I was like my hand started shaking And I was like, mom, I don't understand. Like, what do you mean? And she was just like, I don't know where anything is. I don't know what to do. You have to take care of us. I was like, I have to call you back. I was like, I've got to call you back.

And so I just remember being like, you know, when you're just like frozen, it was this crazy, like, light bulb. I don't know. No one prepares you for your parents to become children. Yes. I'm telling you ladies right now, the sandwich years are the hardest years. And literally I just got off the phone with her. I was like, I have to call you back. And I walked past the mirror.

And I'm being dead. This is where the whole mirror thing came from, really, because I walk past the mirror. And I think when we're not feeling our best selves, I think we do avoid the mirror. I don't think we like to look at ourselves because we have to face it. You know, when you catch a glimpse and you're like, oh, fuck, I just remember seeing myself stopped. And I will never forget this voice being like, what happened to you? And just being like, what happened to Caroline? Like, you used to be dressed, smiling.

You swore you would never become this. Like, you look like shit, you feel like shit, and you're not doing shit. bottom line. And I was like, I don't want to end up like my mother. I was like, do I know where the money is right now? I was like, I have literally fallen trapped to everything I said I wouldn't do because nobody prepares you or warns you or warns you. You're never sleeping. You're with the kids 24-7. You want to be the perfect mom. So you're trying to do everything. Nobody warns you what a toll it takes on you. You become dependent on your husband. All of a sudden, I'm like, wait, now he's making all the money. Like, I don't have a say. Like, what is happening? And I just remember in that moment, I literally looked in the mirror.

in third person was like, I'm going to bring you back. I was like, I'm bringing Caroline back if it's the last fucking thing I do. I was like, we're getting up. We're getting dressed. I was like, I literally was like, John. I was like, you have to come up here. He's like, fuck what? And I was like, I need help.

I was like, I honestly need help. I was like, I've stopped working out. I was like, I'm not doing anything I love. I was like, I don't feel like my best self. I'm not happy. I was like, I just don't feel happy. And he was like, we're on it. Like, what do we have to do?

So I was like just two days a week. I was like, when did I stop doing things? And something as stupid as tennis. I'm going to say it. Sound like a douchebag. No. But it was one of those things like I always played tennis growing up, taught tennis, like love tennis. Stop playing, right?

I don't know because I became a mom and a wife, I guess. Like you're not allowed to do fun things. And my friends were starting to do tennis lessons. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to join tennis. And he was like, yeah, I'm going to play tennis again. I used to love tennis. And he's like, okay, like I guess go play tennis.

One year of playing once a week, getting time with my kids. girlfriends, it was medicine. Like forget the fucking tennis lesson. It was worth every penny, didn't get my Starbucks, put the money towards a tennis lesson, got a workout in, got some movement in, got to see a friend. And I got out of my house and I did something that I used to love, got really good again. And I remember being like, I will never forget that moment of like, why did I stop playing? And so that kind of was like, why did I stop getting dressed? Why did I stop wearing my jewelry? Because I'm a mom or like, because I'm getting older. So it was that little bit, that moment was like, I'm bringing you back to life.

I love this story. And that literally was, I started getting up and getting dressed every single day. It's been almost nine years now. Oh my gosh. So I can honestly tell you from sitting on that couch in my living room, waiting for pickup, bored out of my mind,

thinking that life was over, watching the Today Show, watching them on the, you know, being like, this is it, to literally being on the Today Show on the couch. Oh my gosh,

I love it. Literally and being like, it just shows you, that I was sitting at home. I had no skills. I hadn't worked. I never opened my computer. I got on YouTube. I googled. I read articles. I got on Instagram. I took a fucking photo. And you just persist. You just keep persisting. You keep getting up. Just commit to yourself. And it wasn't like I had any idea of where it was going. I just wanted to feel good again. Wow. I love this story. Yeah, me too. And when you look back and you say like, why did I stop doing all these things?

Did you just assume like, well, I'm better at being a mom than my partner is at being a parent? And so I have to forego things to be the parent. You know, I feel like, number one, I feel like my parents were so not involved. I felt the need to be really involved. The one was involved. I really felt like I didn't wait this long to have kids to not be there. And I went over the top. And I think the greatest advice I can give to young moms, you don't have to be at everything.

You don't have to be everywhere all the time doing it all. I can promise you your kids want to see you happy. They want to see like a mom that's in a good mood. That's smiling. That's looking good. That's taking care of herself. That's not selfish. And I think that's where moms go wrong.

It's that you feel like you have to do it all to be a good mom. And I think a really good mom is a mom that takes care of herself. Yeah. I love that sentiment. My parents were always there, but they weren't at everything. And my mom was always had her lipstick on and had her nails done. I just remember always looking at her like turquoise.

and silver jewelry and her pretty nails and her hands and just yeah if her lipstick was on like we were talking about earlier like something's wrong something's wrong right and she wasn't like some glamazon she's a teacher you know but it was just kind of like put herself together i had friends that's mom was it everything every single game not that i was a good athlete but i had i played and i was there participation trophy that was me but they came sometimes like i never like i never felt like they weren't around and supportive of me but i think they realized we can't go to every We have two kids. They both are doing stuff. You know, and I wasn't wanting what those other kids had, but I remember even knowing the distinction of like, oh, your parents are here all the time. I don't even want my parents here all the time. You know, like, you know what I think also it's like I don't know if we put that own pressure on ourselves of like, you know, do you, it's like it fills a void, I think. Like I, what I noticed with a lot of moms, like with that empty nest is that like this was your whole life. Like mom was the title. And I think we just have, we forget that women are so much more than just. moms like we're wife or mom we're daughter but you're also like you and i think that's what i think

women just think that like you become a mom and that's you have to go all in and i just don't think that's true and i think that might be true for some people it wasn't for me like i went all in thinking that's what would make me happy and it really just didn't and i know i get a little backlash on that like i didn't enjoy the the playdates at my house like i didn't love having to take care of other people's kids and you know i didn't love all the things i thought i would love and And then I felt guilty for not loving it or feel like, oh, does that mean I don't love being a mom? I don't love being there. It's like, no, I love being there with him when it's important to them.

But I also like doing things that fulfill me. And I don't think that's selfish. And I think for some reason, women, it's like their entire lives take over and you forget that the kids are going to leave. But that's like also, it's just a projection. If that's okay for them too. Yes. It makes you happy. People are just born to do it.

They love everything about it. Agreed. Yes. Would worry when the kids leave for sure. Yeah. Because what now? Yep. But like, I hate when people just judge others. Agreed. The mom shaming, the parenting, judging. It's just like, why can't we understand we're all built different? We are. And listen, I think we're all great moms. Like you said, we're all so different. And some people and I'm always like, if you are genuinely happy. Yeah. Like I have moms, yes. They're looking in the mirror. They're genuinely happy. And I'm like, that's amazing. Like, go in all in. That's great. But there's so many in this like dark gray area. And I think that's where it's like that we shame, we also shame women for not being happy if you have the nice car, if you've got the nice house. And it's like, there's a lot of women that are unhappy at home. Right. That it isn't about the money and the cars and all of that. It's like they're just, again, not fulfilled.

Right. Or just a little bit bored. Not everybody wants to go to my gym. Like for me, some moms loved it. I personally, I loved being with him. But like, it got, it got old. Like, I was kind of like, I don't know how long I can do this. it's true like i was like i love playing with them the way going to things taking them out i personally

didn't love like what other moms loved and that's what i had to admit to myself and be like that i've never heard mother's day like i didn't really love having the other people's kids at my house like i don't think i would enjoy that no i'm not kidding i got so much shit for that i got so much shit i got like literally i think there was like death threats on this comment and i'm like i didn't say i love my kids or love kids i was like i there were kids throwing yeah my kids people there was kids throwing trash on my floor. And I was a little bit of like, what I realized is that we all parent differently. And I don't want to have to parent your kid because like we are a little bit strict. We're all about manners. So for me, it was kind of like, oh, so does I know what? Like the kids

that are running around, screaming, throwing things on my roof, I was like, we're done. Like, I'm not into this. I'm constantly anxiety. Like that like, I'm parenting differently than you are. And so your kids come over and I want your kids to like clean up in a certain way. And like, am I allowed to ask that because you're going to go home and tell your parents that like I said Apparently you're not. Phone call from the parents. Apparently you're not. I got so much shit that apparently you're not allowed to say you don't like

play dates or you don't like kids at your house. But it's exactly what you said. I don't parent like you parent. I'm sorry. Some people are lying to themselves. If you want 20 kids at your house running around screaming and third, like that's great. And if you love, again, if you love it, you love it great. Amazing.

I honestly thought I would. I thought I was like, I want to have all the kids at my house. And maybe in see, maybe high school. That might be the case. The little kids, I want to be the cool mom to a point. I mean, except for the fucking nudes that we're getting now. But at that point, there is something where I'm like, it just doesn't suit my personality. I'm nice to all the kids.

I'm not a bitch. Like I am. Everyone's welcome. You know what I mean? But we don't, we don't love it. Yeah. We love it. Shaming is so aggressive to me.

And I don't know that it doesn't benefit anybody to be like, I can't believe you. It's just like, what works for you is great. And what you're good at is. great and I'm proud of you and I'm happy for you but I'm trying their best. This can feel like it's not enough for me. I can feel like I want to get the fuck away from my husband and my kids admit that out loud a few hours a week. Right. What is so wrong with that? I don't know. I don't know people. It makes people uncomfortable. People are like, shut up, Rain, you know what I mean, trust me. I always say wait. I'm always saying wait because it is hard. And I think

that's the kind of thing that like you have to be honest with yourself and have some sort of understanding of what you're getting yourself into and the commitment it is. And all the fucking other people you have to deal with once you have kids. Like schools and all the moms and all the sports and all, you know, it is a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot of personalities. Yeah. And that's why I like doing my own thing. Well, we love it. We love the message. Should we pivot to some yeah. So like nine years ago, you were just like, I'm fucking doing this. I'm getting off the couch and I'm wearing outfits. I'm going to dress up again. You really, I mean, your Instagram is, it's fantastic and I love scrolling it and you have so many good tips about just looking great and feeling

great and then doing great. But yeah, I want to talk about your happy tools and fashion and getting dressed and maybe we could just start with like finding your personal style. Like how does anybody like today is the day I get dressed? What do I do? Today's the day. Yeah. You know what? I always say I would keep it simple for when you're just starting out, I think trying crazy trends will freak you out. It might not look right on you or suit you. So it's like I think you'll you'll, you just will give up. So I'm always like, start small, start simple. So I'm always like, start with a jeans and a t-shirt or start with like what you know feels good on you. Because we again, like you said, we're all different. Obviously, I like the oversized look. I love baggy everything. So again, it's also having a

little like truth talk with yourself of like, what do you feel good in? Even if it sweats, find a cute pair of sweats. Like find that matching set that's like super super super cute. Get those staples in your closets. Like for me, that crisp white button down, you know, that super cozy sweatshirt that you love, you know, that one black blazer, things, again, that's like kind of a uniform. Because I think that once you've got the uniform, then you can start having fun with it. And I always start with, like, accessories, I think are super fun to have like that pop of color, like fun colored sunnies or like the animal print shoe or the jewelry. Like I have so many fun, like faux pieces of jewelry that you can just throw on, the bangles,

the hoop earrings. I always say just start small. Start simple. Jeans, white button down, white t-shirt. shirt, great little bomber jacket or a little like leather jacket, motorcycle jacket, pair of hoops, you're good. Black blazer. You're good.

You're dressed. Matching set. You're dressed. Don't want a cute pair of sneakers. It doesn't have to be like the big running sneaker. Like get a cute pair of vans. Get a cute pair, you know, again, there's so many affordable now like Dulce Vita. You know, they all are like kind of copying great looking shoes.

I love Golden Goose. I love Sambas. I'm a huge Sambas collector, obsessed. So little things like that that you can add little. pops, then you start playing with it because you will start to know when you look at the mirror, like there are certain things that make you feel confident. You start to like, kind of feel like, oh, that's cute on me. And you start to, I think, play with those things.

Because to dress exactly like me, no, you might not feel comfortable in that just yet. You know what I mean? I'm not saying you won't because I think you will because I think everyone can start having fun. I see women now at events blown away. Like the jewels, the outfits. I am like dying when I see people saying, like, they haven't gotten dressed in years. And they look fucking fabulous. like for real. So it's getting that pair of jeans that you're comfortable in. Find that pair.

Try them all on. Like don't be afraid. Get them a little bit bigger. If you gain some weight from motherhood or just from life, stop beating yourself up. Like get the bigger size. I am all about like wear what you love because then you'll actually wear it, have it be comfortable. When you're trying to squeeze it on, you're going to give up and put on the sweat pant or the legging. If things don't fit you and they don't look right, I when I was pregnant, I got everything I loved, but in bigger sizes. don't have to go for the frumpy look because you're feeling frumpy or because you're pregnant or because like those are all just excuses. You can look fabulous in any stage. You don't have to dress for what you're, you know what I mean? What's happening in your life? So I think keeping things

simple is the greatest way to start, knowing what feels comfortable on you so you actually do it. Get the size that fits you so you'll actually wear it. And then the accessories and the shoes, the bag, that's where you start having fun. From there, then you can start adding some color. Well, I also like the trend conversation because I just feel like anything goes. People would get too obsessed with trends. Like even what genes are trendy. All of them. I see them all. They're all like the front page revolve. All the new jeans, there's every single style you can imagine. You can do the bag. You can do a boot. You can still see a skinny. Everything's a beard if you want to. Yeah. Like it's just don't get bogged down and like, well, what's trendy? It's just like, yeah, I mean, I like uniforms. You see all the most successful people do

have uniforms of like you know what looks good, you know what fits good. And that's what you, like, you have to have that in your closet. So wherever you need to be or you need to go or something that's important to you, you know what to grab. But I look at your outfit. I'm like, this is attainable. It's a pair of jeans. It's a t-shirt. It's a blazer. It's a blazer. It's a blazer. It's a blazer. It's a shirt. It's a blazer. One hair. Like Levi's vintage. Like go to your, any of your vintage stores. Like I'm telling you, check out wasteland. Check out if you're in L.A. Whether it's, Poshmark, crossroads, look for those denim.

You can find great finds of great Levi's. I have great vintage stores of you guys online that I think just a great pair of Levi's goes a really long way. Even on Amazon, you can find Levi's. Do I'm saying? Like anywhere. So my point is, just grab a pair that fit you that feel good. A blazer, I personally love blazers with nothing underneath. I think it's a quick way to style something, make it a little sexier, a little dressier.

I literally grabbed a pin. This is a pin that goes on your blazer. and I just pinned it as the button because there's no button. Right? So it's just like a little velvet pin. It's perfect. And it's perfect.

This is like a tuxedo style blazer. So I like that it didn't have a collar. I like that it's like a little bit different. But it's still just a blazer. And I love like a blazer with like shorts and a high boots to go out. And like I feel like I started doing that. And I'm like, I'm going to do more of this.

I'm going to get another blazer in another color. I'm going to get more shorts in this color. Like this is, I'm not going to wear this out every weekend. But this is where I feel hot and sexy. And if I have a different version of this outfit every weekend, who gives a fuck. Exactly.

This is my look. A black leather shorts and a boot. Great. 50 tops you can throw on with that. That is now forever until the end of time. Forever. And I'm like, you can wear that every day. Yes.

Like to me it was kind of like I found things that like because people are, do you really wear that? I'm like, yes, I'm a pickup like this. Like I really do walk in. And the truth is I feel good. Like I used to think everybody was staring and like talking shit. And it's funny. I think I felt the insecurity.

And now I actually only hear compliments and I only hear like, oh, that looks great. I love your outfit. And it's funny, I think, because I don't give a shit anymore. Like, there could be people talking shit. But, like, I don't see it or hear it. It's funny at the beginning, I felt more like people were staring or this and that. And I think when you're not comfortable with yourself, you think all of these things. It's so funny.

Right. Staring at what? No idea. Like, when I first started all of this, I got so much shit. And the moms would sit in a fucking circle all, like, whispering, staring at me. Like, it was awful. Wow. Like, who does she think she is?

Oh, I'm sure. Like, oh, I'm like on her taking a fucking. photo for stupid outfit. Like, got only you know what I mean? Like her stupid jewelry. Like, who care? Oh, I can only imagine what was being said. I just, I love that you brought that up because I, so I left a job in tech and I became a food blogger and everybody was like, oh, look at her taking a photo

of her stupid fucking food. I grew a huge account. I went on an influencer trip. I met Ashley. We started this podcast. So look at me taking my stupid fucking photos and my stupid fucking food. And you got a living for years. I also quit a job at Amazon and tech to go do that full time. Do for you. Yeah. I mean, it's just it's the ultimate like I don't care what you think about me I'm just going to do this.

Well everybody makes fun of you until it's successful and then everyone's like how'd you do it? And we're like, what'd you do? Because now everyone's like everyone's calling for help, which is fascinating. But at the beginning, it was like even husbands would make fun. Like husband would be like, oh, is that your Instagram? And I was like, is your wife making anybody? Because I am. This is kind of. Oh, you've no idea. So I was like, I'm bringing happy back. Okay. We're bringing success back. We're bringing fucking looking good back. I was like, I'm done. I was like, I'm officially done. I just, I really do feel for people that feel like they don't have time for that, of course,

or the money for it. I like, you know, or the partner, my mom didn't have that partner that could help. There was no, like, get dressed before school. But, like, I like that you say there are cheaper ways to do this. There's easier ways. Listen, I know so many people who really, like, they do their nails at home. They do, like, at night. Like, I do stay up till three in the morning sometimes doing something that I need to do.

Like, when it's important to you, I do feel like we go out of our way. And I do feel like, you know, I have set my alarm at 5 o'clock to get that. work at in before school. Like I did. I was getting up at five. I would get my work at him, be fully dressed and showered before drop off, which is crazy, but it worked for me. Like, I needed it for me. So there are things like I drink my coffee at home. I don't buy Starbucks and buy all that. Like, I do invest in different things. Like, I work out at home online. I go for a walk. I just try to get some movement in, you know, gratitude. But again, I do think there are ways. There's so much affordable shopping. Like, there is ways of, I never want a woman to feel like she can't

have what that celebrity has. I think that, you know, this thing of like everything's unattainable now, I feel like things are attainable. And I feel like with incredible affordable fashion, you really could. Like, I think you can look head to toe absolutely gorgeous under $100. Yeah. Absolutely. Under $50, to be honest with you. And again, it's that little bit, and I agree, there are some women really struggling out there. And it's not easy to be a mom. It is not easy to be the breadwinner. It is not easy. Right. But I will say even a 30 minutes earlier in the morning, I will say, we'll make a huge difference in your mental health. I do.

Yeah. And I think, like, I wonder how you feel about this. Like, just the smallest tweaks, even, like, sweatpants to leggings. I mean, like, because I work, you know, we work from home. And of course, I get dressed up to come record. But, like, I am tempted a lot of mornings to do the baggiest sweatpants. But if I actually do just my Lulu leggings with a cropped sweatshirt, like, it's still at leisure and it's still as comfortable.

It's just, I don't feel like as sloppy, which we all love sweatpants, but it's just taking little things like up a notch. Like just one, even just throwing the hoops in. Forget. Even wear your, wear the sweatsuit and just start putting on some gold hoops and like some fun sunglasses. Yeah. But it's just like you can even elevate that comfy clothes because some moms are like, I'm not going to wear jeans. I'm a stay at her mom. You know, it's just like, but you can feel a little better in your comfy clothes, you know.

But can I ask you a question? If you ask all these moms genuinely or anyone, do you get dressed up for special occasions? Like if you had something that was important to you, if you had a job interview, like you just said, you get dressed to come film, right? Or if you were going on a date, once you have a hot date this weekend, would you like get your hair done or like, you know, judged up, would you do makeup? Would you get dressed for it? Like if you are going to something that you think is important, right? So if I told you that like your life was important, right? That you were the special occasion every day. Like you just waking up is actually insane. Like people like forget that like it's, if you looked at your life was important, right? That like, if you looked at your yourself as a special occasion and your life is a special occasion, what would you do for it to show up? And so for me, it was like, if you just look at it that way, it's like just taking that time that whatever you're doing that day is important because taking care of yourself should be super fucking important. And I think that once you look at it that way, like, you're going to get really dressed up for a total stranger, but like, I'm not going to look good for my husband who I've been

married to who I'm hoping we stay married. I'm assuming we're hoping. And you still want them to find you attractive. And again, I think women have responsibility in that. I think you, you know, you let yourself go having kids because it is fucking hard. But it's also your job to be the best version of yourself, the same way I expect John to be the best version of himself. Like when he's in his pajamas or in sweats, he works from home. He always has our entire marriage. And at some point I was like, dude, let's get dressed. Like, it's not sexy after a while. It goes both ways. This isn't like, women. Get your shit together. No. I was like, oh, I want more thing to do now? No. It's everyone. Like, as a married couple, I'm sorry, when did we sign the something that said,

okay, in 20 years, let's look like complete shit. Let's be not attracted to each other. Let's hate each other. And good luck to you. Like, the point is, you're going to, you know, you're hoping to keep that relationship going rather than when you're out on girls night to hit the bar, that's when you're going to look fucking fabulous for all the guys at the bar, but not your husband at home. Like, to me, I'm kind of like, enough bullshit, ladies.

We all have to make an effort. I think that as we get older, it does get harder. And guys. But like you said, you both have to. Like, it's, I want to look nice for you, but I expect you to do the same. Same. I'm telling you, John knows. I got to dress.

I got to be the mother and I'll be a homemaker and everything. And I got to look hot. And blowjobs. You know, you crazy? Crazy. Absolutely no blowjobs. Not those sweatpants. Draw the limit.

We're not in the sweatpants, guys. Not in the set pants. Were you ever a blowjob? No. I don't like blow jobs, guys. No. It's not for me. Not for me.

Okay. Just putting it out there. anyone interested? No. Like, no. Absolutely not. I don't know why to me. Wait, are you like, have you never done it? No, I have. Okay. No, I have. But you're just like,

she got the right. That was rough. The truth is, I just don't fucking like it. Yeah. And I find it to be somewhat to agree. I don't know. It's not my thing. Like, I don't need to be down there, please. Like, I feel like, let's have this mutual moment, but it's not my thing. Yeah. I mean, we've mixed feelings. What is your feelings? I love giving blowjobs. I love it so much. Do you make you feel powerful?

I feel like it's so fun. I love to turn somebody on. I feel like look at her go. I'm so proud of her. But I actually, I don't really care that much about receiving oral. I just never cared about it. I'm just laying there. Like I don't know what you in my hands. I don't care. Wait, what about you? So it was funny because when we started the podcast, I always would just say blowjobs or for boyfriends because I just wasn't giving him out randomly.

Like I was like, we got to be committed. like I am not just sucking dicks all willingly. Oh, hell no. I just love my fiance and his body and we do all the things. Talk to me in 18 years. It's not so much. Yeah, but I'm not, it's not so frequent. Like, I really enjoy giving him pleasure, but I'm not like, God, I love to suck dick.

Right. You know. Like, continue to know. I don't know. I don't think he thinks I do. Like, I enjoy giving him pleasure. That I understand. I get what you're saying.

And he doesn't go down to me all the time either. Like, you know, I've kind of like that less and less as I've, we just do a bunch of other stuff. Yeah. I like this. I like the affection. I like the foreplay. I like the intimacy. Same.

Do you mean? Like, now you hardly have any time. Like, honestly, the kids are running. Now they're teenagers. Like, now they're joking. Like, now it's all a joke. Now it's like, oh my God. Like, it's definitely not sexy right now at all.

The kids are joking about blow jobs. No more blow jobs. Oh my God. No, there'll be a joke downstairs to be like, that's what she said. And I'm like, you're like, what? What? I don't talk to that. I'm like, this is. So now it's like you save it for the vacations, for sure.

Your weekend getaways. But now it's a little bit more like you have to plan or you have to be like quick, quickie upstairs because it's my mother lives with us. I'm an 86 year old mother living with us. Caretaker, two dogs, two kids. Oh, when she said you're taking care of us, she meant it. She meant it. She fucking moved right in.

I'm coming. You're like the truck is packed. Get that mother-law's-wee ready. But no, so we have a sex to a company and we sell a, and we'll stay all the time. All the stuff, that's ours. That's our company. So we developed a blow gel, now a suck and blow gel, and it's vulva-friendly. And you can have to try this?

And the reason why is because we know a lot of women, like, can you drop out the blowjob gel so John doesn't see it? Doesn't assume. Leave it out. Leave it out. You can't take a label off if you want to. That's so funny. I really can't. But there are a lot of people that are, like, I don't know.

one of the things that I think deters people is they're like, I don't enjoy this. Why would I do this? I don't feel good at it. I don't feel like I'm good at it. It's not fun for me. I don't want to do this. I'm choking.

My eyes are watering. So we came up with this flavored oral enhancer. It can be on any body part at this point. But it does just give you a little bit of pleasure in this. It's a prop. It's red more watery. Well, how about a red velvet cupcake? They're like, yeah, I could look on that.

Yeah. So it's like we have different flavors. We have seasonal flavors. So it's like we sell the shit out of it. Like, when we look at the sales, we ladies. I'm in a better place. You should have fucking started this entire conversation with that.

Hold on. And I think what's interesting is that women, my age, don't talk about it as much. Oral or just not wanting it in general? They don't talk about sex as much. Like I don't think people share, people talk about it. It's weird. It's like makes it people uncomfortable. And yet I think women, especially at my age, actually feel more comfortable in their bodies.

Totally. And actually feel more comfortable, I think, with any of these, like, whether it's pleasure in yourself, talking about sex. It's funny, though, there is a weird thing that women don't like talking about sex or pleasureing themselves in any way. It's like a taboo subject still. I think it's generational. I think that, you know, it becomes more and more the norm.

It's what people start to grow up talking about this. More, I think that like talking about fucking your husband is a little more taboo than your boyfriend. It's like, I'm going to be with this person forever, hopefully. That's true. I want all the moms to know my husband's dick looks like. Like, I don't, you know. That's a good point.

Like, I think about that at the beginning of a relationship. Yeah, we're not sending dick picks of your husband. Right. Or like, he just did this crazy thing. When he was a boyfriend, did you? And then he turned into a husband. Probably. I can think about this a lot because I think about the stuff we used to share in our 20s,

our 30s, and now I'm in my 40s. And there is obviously some truth to that of you're like, we're going to be at dinner with them tomorrow. You know, like I don't want her knowing how he choked me out last night. It's weird. Our kids play together. That's true. Like it's something about that that's got to make it hit a little different.

And I think once you have kids too, it is one of those things that like the conversation just is different. It's just funny that you don't want to think of parents doing it. I don't know why. I mean, you hear, I mean, people, sex lives dwindle the longer you're together. I mean, you hear people, like, in the beginning of a relationship, all of my friends will talk about the person they're fucking, what it's like, what they did. But as the relationship gets more serious, I hear about it less.

Of course you do. And it goes in waves. I got being married 18 years. There is like, it's hot and heavy. And then you fucking can't stand each other. Then you're like, then he's annoyed at you. Then you're annoyed at you. Then all of a sudden you're like, oh, he's cute.

Oh, my God. I forgot how cute he is. And all of a sudden, you're like, he's cute again and everything's fine. And then all of a sudden, he annoys the living shit out of you. And you're like, I'm getting on the next plane. I'm never coming back. Like, you will go through every emotion. And I think that's why people do walk out too quickly and easily because it is.

It's a range of a fucking emotions. And especially when, and then you hit menopause, women become psychopaths. Like they do. I hate to admit it. I'm the first person to say, like, we lose our shit. And it is really hard to understand. think men don't understand us. And I think that's where a lot of divorce has happened, to be honest with you. That makes sense. It does make sense. Because you do not feel like yourself. Yeah. It's crazy shit,

you guys. But the sex definitely dwindles. Then it kind of gets hot again. Then you have kids, dead. Then it kind of dies again. And then I think as the kids get older and you kind of get your groove back. Like we're kind of in a good zone. We're like, you know, we're having fun. We're traveling the kids are more independent. I think it kind of gets easier again. But I'd love to hear you say that. I think people really need to hear that. And of course, that's not every couple's story. But I think a lot of people are like, this is it. This is the new normal.

And that's not true. It's not true. Well, it certainly doesn't have to be true. And so to hear you say, like, oh, it dies. And then it comes back to life. And then it goes, it ebbs and flows. Even the relationship comes back, like where you're so happy and great, you know, like you're super effect.

You know what I mean? Where it's so good. And then there's moments like, yeah, we're avoiding each other. And like, yes, it's like edgy and tight. You know what I mean? You're in a bad mood and you're stressed. and you're resentful and you're angry. And it's just such a range.

And I think people do give up a little too easily because to think it's always going to be perfect for 50 years is insane. Like we're all living so much longer. Marriages are lasting so much longer that nobody's really prepared for that. And it's like, yeah, it's a fucking journey. And I think the greatest thing for a marriage,

both of you being willing to grow and change. Because you're going to. If you guys have those moments where you're like, okay, we're really in it. We're like hating each other. There's resentment building. Like, does someone say something? Do you guys do therapy?

Do you just communicate really well? We communicate really well. We're brutal. We do have really hard conversations. I will literally be like, I am not feeling like my best self, or I'm feeling like ragey, like I'm not in a good place.

Anything like that, or he's upset about something I can kind of tell now. Like I know something's brewing. Well, I'll be like, what is it? Like, just say it. We really just have it out now. And it's brutal some days. I have definitely cried,

definitely yelled. We didn't speak for 24 hours. But then we always come back. it's like we take the time to think about it. I think communication is the number one thing you need in a marriage. Like friendship, of course, but you can have friends that don't communicate well. You have to communicate. And I think when you realize you don't take things personally all the time, because the truth is you're going to hear things you don't want to hear. And it's so hard. But you're also going to say things they don't want to hear. And it's like you kind of have to be willing to grow together.

That's what I keep saying grow because you do fucking change. You do. And kids change you. Life changes you. pandemics change you, losing your job changes you, life has so many twists and turns, you've got to be willing to grow together. And that communication, I think, is key. No matter how hard it is, you've got to be like, hey, I'm really unhappy right now. Or, hey, I really don't love when you say that or do that. If you don't say it, no one's a mind reader. No one's going to change unless you fucking say something.

Yeah. That's the truth. Yeah, I love that. Well, I love that we did talk a little bit about your relationship and got some relationship advice out of you. I've plenty to say. Yeah. you know, we, I just want to acknowledge we asked our audience, like, what do you want to talk about in terms of confidence? And we got so many. And women are just dealing with a lot. And there's just so much thrown at them. And we said, like, what makes you feel confident? And so, I mean, people just said so many different things. But a lot of it was, like, surrounding myself with people that make me feel good about myself, like, removing toxic people from my life. So much of, like, doing something that makes me just feel good that I'm proud of, that I feel happy about, that I succeeded it.

doing something I love, having a tan, spending time with my girlfriends, wearing a fabulous outfit, being in my element, smelling good, having my nails done. By the way, none of this was losing weight, working on my body, you know? Because at the end of the day, it's like, what makes you feel good? And it is, it's like, it's really quite simple. And I just remember, like, the getting up and getting dressed, it's just like making your bed. You know, when you're feeling like a little bit out of control, maybe not like your best self, I do think that, like, one thing that you know you can accomplish, know you can get it done.

like if nothing else goes right, at least you look cute. It's like that sentiment of like, just put on that cute outfit. At least you've accomplished that. You can check that off your list. And it is. There's this one thing that once you start doing it, it becomes a habit, right? And it's like you got to do it every day. You making that effort for you every day is never a waste of time.

And I think the women think it's a waste of time and feel guilty. But how is taking care of yourself when you're the one taking care of everyone else? I can't imagine your husband and your kids don't want to see you happy. Like the people that say they love you should want to see you happy, should want to see you looking fabulous, like should want to see you doing your best. And if they don't, I think that's a deeper question to ask there. You know what I mean? But the person she should want it most for yourself is you because like no one's coming to

save you. That reflection in the mirror. That's your superhero. That is your night and shining armor coming. So how do you want that night and shining armor to look? I love that, sentiment. I love that. Right?

Thanks, Caroline. I know. I love you guys. Your Instagram is fabulous. I haven't listened to your podcast. I just, I feel like people don't talk a lot about being in their 50s

and looking great and prioritizing themselves and like putting on a great outfit. And I think that like as I get older, I think a lot about feeling invisible or my body changing things. I also think I've never looked hotter in my life. You look amazing. You look amazing.

I think that we all have a lot of feelings about ourselves as we get older and I like that you're just really open about it. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah. I think just, I'm assuming you kind of abide by

the rule of like you're not, ever too old for whatever the fuck it is. Never too old. I think you're never too old to find you're happy. Yeah. No matter what like never too old, it's never too late. Can you have your 20 year old body again? Yeah, some people can. But to me it really is like finding you're happy. And it's like success to me is nothing what it meant to me at 20 and 30. Like to me success now genuinely is looking in the mirror and liking what I see. Liking that reflection, liking the real life I'm living, the friends that surround me. Like that is total success. The fact that I'm smiling is success. to me. Like that, the rest of it, I think I realized was just a lot of societal bullshit, right,

that we have to try to live up to. That body I had when I was 20 did not make me happy. Guess what? No. I did not like myself. No. I was starving and you're working like a, like a lunatic and you realize like that's not, you know what I mean? The smile is what attracts people. It's like not that body. Do you mean? I mean, I can't relate. I was bloated. You were bloated in my 20s. I'm way better now. I've never. I'm the better in my 40s. No. I don't need this negativity right now. Not in this climate. Tell everybody where they can find you. You guys, thank you so much for having me.

I just want to say, I love meeting you guys. I love being here. Thank you, thank you. And shop with Caroline on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and coming in hot on dear media. I love you guys. You guys know where to find us, Girls Gotta Eat.com for our tour tickets for those last shows in the year. Yeah, come to a show. I want to.

Girls Got Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess. Raina's rana. com, greenberg. Vibes only for the suck and blow gel and all the vibrators. we're going to send some on the way with you for you and John. And subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend. And we will talk to you Thursday.

Have a good couple days, guys.