Girls Gotta Eat - F**K YOU Carrie Bradshaw!

Episode Date: June 6, 2018

And we couldn't help but wonder...is Sex and the City the most f*cked up show of all time? Just kidding...kinda. We share our (very strong) opinions on Carrie and Big's relationship and its effects on womankind, and leave no stone unturned when it comes to the other three ladies. Maybe some women just aren't meant to be tamed...when it comes to podcasts. Enjoy, fam! And follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He was the original fuck boy. He was the original guy that would bench you. Like, he, Sex and City romanticized the fuck boy for six seasons. Fuck. Yes. Two Girls Gotta Eat podcast, a bonus episode. I feel like we need some like different theme music. Remember I used to do sound effects back in the day.

Oh my God, that one time you did that really good. The one time. And then the second time I tried it and you made fun of me so bad. You tried to do a drum roll. It does sound like a drug roll. Well, while we're talking about sound effects, just give everybody a good ochre. Oker. No, roll the top.

There it is. I like simultaneously love it and hate it because I can't do it. Okay, that's a do it. Anyway, guys, we're super excited to bring you our very first of hopefully many bonus episodes. Yes, bonus episodes. You guys didn't even know you're going to get it and you're getting it. Love when I don't even, it's like an accident. Surprise.

even know. Poof. Anyways, we hope to do these more often. We had a topic we were really excited about. We couldn't wait until next week. Excited, anxious. I'm like literally like trying to roll my shoulders. I'm like doing stretches over here, prepare for this.

I'm so amped up for this topic. Like, this is going to be full Ashley rant mode. You've been warned. So we're going to hit you with something we're both very passionate about. And really quickly, we're here at Mouth Media, Powered by Sunhizer. Got a shout out. Our studio. We love them.

so much. Okay, now let's go. We want to shout you guys out. Please take a moment to subscribe to this podcast. It means so much to us. Leave a review and put us in your Instagram stories. We'll screenshot all that repost you guys. We really, really appreciate us. Thank you. I love you. So it's been raining every day in New York for the last forever. And I needed a hobby and I'm not that interesting of a person. So I decided to use my ex-boyfriend's mom's HBO go password. Wait, just in case you glossed over that, his ex-boyfriend's mom's HBO go. Also, shout out to the 24-year-old.

I wonder if he's still watching my HBO. And your Netflix or now? My Netflix, I gave him all of it. He's like listening to Pandora. You're welcome. Anyways, I decided to like pick up a show that I hadn't watched in a while. So I am three and a half seasons deep into sex in the city. And, you know, I think I had something to do with that.

I was watching Sex and the City. just finished the whole season again. Every like five years, I literally watch it, I watch it start to finish. Okay. Like, before we get into it, I want to make it clear it's my favorite show of all time. It is, it's 100% my favorite show of all time. I can relate to so much of it, especially now, being like closer to their age and living in New York City. When it started, I was clearly not even close to their age. It wasn't even the same generation as them and I still loved it. And now it, like, is even more relevant. It's my favorite show. Love the first movie. We're going to pretend the second movie was never made. It was a, it was a,

a fucking abomination. Or the first movie. Well, okay, but I just want to make that note. I love it. I love what it did for women. In some ways. In some ways. Okay. So I would just like to say that that show came out. When I started watching it, I was pretty young, and you were two.

And it really hit us at an age where it was very formative in terms of what I thought about dating as an adult. As a woman. Right? And I always actually knew, I don't know if you knew this as a kid, but I knew as a kid I was a move to New York. I knew I was like 10 years old. I'm going to live in New York.

and like these women were my role models in terms of like how you should be treated by men, how you should treat men, like what you should expect for your life. So today what I'd like to get into is Carrie Bradshaw, you fucked me up and fuck you. Carrie and Big, the main storyline of the entire series is the most fucked up thing that's ever happened. Ever. It's the worst advice you could ever give to women. It is the worst thing that's ever happened to women. And what do they do?

came out with a movie and the movie was the absolute worst message you could put out in the world. For sure, for sure. But let's start. How many seasons are there? Six. There's six seasons. Okay. Less season six has two parts. So it's like seven seasons.

Season five was short. It is seven seasons of the main character who was like every girl in America's role model just being fucked over over and over again. The same fucking dude. Ten years. Ten years. Let's break the relationship down. Let's break it down.

Let's talk about their first date. Okay. I don't know if you remember this, but he runs into a friend that was like having a bad day and invites the friend on their first day. Can you imagine if somebody did this to you? And if you remember, like, they had run into it. They kept running into each other all over New York City. It was this very like buildup of flirtation.

And so the first day was important. Like, she was so excited about it. And he brings this fucking loser friend. Right. And so she just like casually, I don't know if you guys remember this because it's real fresh for me. She's like, I'm going to let you guys just have a boy. night and you know sometimes you just got to do that. Yeah, play the cool girl, Carrie.

Like, have no self-respect. Let me show up to a date and some dude invited his friend. I will never talk to you again. Right. And it's not like, okay, I go on plenty of like casual dates with people where they invite friends, we watch sports together, things like that. If you invite me on a dinner date and you have invited your buddy, I'm never talking to you again.

Yes, they were like a nice restaurant, like a nice New York City restaurant. She wore that naked dress. I know. She looked so hot. Well, here's what I want to just remind. to everyone. They were never in a like committed girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend relationship, literally fucking ever. He was in other committed relationships. And like, that's the thing. Like, I kind of had forgotten that. Like, I don't know. I mean, I guess if I really sat down

and thought about it, but when I rewatched it recently, I was like, oh my God. Like, he was a fuck boy from day one. Like, you know, I think about a series X of Vine and how we went through a lot of tumultuous back and forth bullshit. Because at one point we were in love and a committed relationship and had that. It's like we were trying to get back to that. You know what I mean? And gave it our awe.

They never had that. They never convinced to her. He actually, she's actually sitting there waxing poetic to her friends and then runs into him on another date with somebody else. And she always made excuses for him. Remember that? She thought they were like,

she wasn't seeing anybody else. She thought they were boyfriend, girlfriend. She goes to dinner with her friends. She's talking about how much she's falling in love with him. He's out on a date with another girl. And then she tried to be like, like, well, we hadn't had to talk about being exclusive. The whole, six, seven seasons of Carrie making excuses for getting shit on for 10 years.

Right. Trying to be, like, rational and like the cool girl and just sort of like letting him be who he wants to be. And all he did was let her down time after time. And this set me up as a young girl to think, you know, we should just let men be. And, you know, whatever little breadcrumbs they drop to us, you remember that episode where she, she is reading a speech at a wedding that she has written? And he gets a phone call in the middle of it and walks out of the room. Yeah.

And in the middle of her beautiful speech. Can you imagine like your partner not supporting your creative endeavors for 15 minutes? Can you even imagine such a thing? And let's back up to what you said, breadcrumming. He was the original breadcrumber. He was the original fuck boy. He was the original guy that would bench you. Like he, Sex and City romanticized the fuck boy for six seasons.

Fuck. Yes. That's what they did. did. And the worst part is that she was the protagonist and she was the main character because they somehow made all three all the girls have these healthy, beautiful relationships. And I want to save that. And then I kind of want to go through each of them individually when we're done kind of shitting all over carrying big. But that's, that was what was so wild to me. Was it that was the main storyline. That wasn't like one of the girls had that type of relationship because that type of relationship

is not unrealistic. No. Is that good? No. That was what they made the show about. But I think that's the perfect word is romanticizing it. And I remember when I was a kid. kid, I was watching this and I asked my mom about them. My mom hated on this show so much. And I always thought like, fuck you, mom, you're such a prude. Grow up. And I understand things that you don't. Don't be so lame. But she used always say, like, this show makes you have pity for this man. Right. Because she's always like, he'll get there in his own time. He's just not ready. And I remember growing up thinking, like, I felt bad for him that he couldn't access this part of his brain. It makes you, it makes

you generate pity for people that do not deserve your pity? Right, for this grown, successful man. And like, oh, bank has commitment issues? I don't know. He married Natasha. Like, what the what? And he married somebody before her too. Oh, that's right. Yes. Like, and let's be real. Like, I, you read these stupid fucking articles or you hear, you know, people say, like, they were always in love with her. No, he was not in love with Carrie. She was the last resort. He was 50 years old. His dick probably didn't even work. And he decided to finally marry Carrie. Right? Oh, he didn't actually finally decide to marry her. When he's like, you always been the one.

I'd be like, really, bitch, you're 50. There was also 12 other ones before me that you decided to not be in. You're literally the last resort. You're not even the second choice. Like, you're at the bottom of the barrel, Carrie. Right. He probably has to take Viagra. He's fucking older than 50.

Right. And it's not, okay, so sometimes you know, you always say like when you look at relationships, you're like, I don't understand all these two get together, right? Like, I don't understand what is good. But then you say to yourself, okay, I don't know what it goes on behind closed doors. I don't know what happens. I actually know what goes on behind closed doors of Carrie Big because I'm using my ex-boyfriend's mom's

HBO Go password because I watched the show. And I got to watch behind those closed doors and nothing good is going on back there either. He is. He is. She comes up with these long monologues. They're so well thought out and beautiful. And he latches on to one condescending ass thing that she says and says some rude fucking bullshit.

And then she's like, you know, some men there's just... Fuck you, Carrie Bradshaw. I know. And the whole thing is like, that I hate is that they just tried to make him this, like, charming. And they tried to make them have, like, this funny, cute, flirty relationship and, you know, all his, like, winks. He'd just be there in his black car and he'd, like, shoot her a wink,

and she would just, like, melt into a puddle. Or he'd be like, absolutely. Like, shut the fuck up. And, like, I, they just made them seem like they had this, like, banter. And it's like, okay, you can find that with other people. Not everybody. I find 12 people on this block to be an asshole to me.

It's not banter. But that's what they made them seem like they had. like they try to make it seem like they had that thing that every girl wants that like banter connection you get each other sense of humor you're rolling around in bed laughing every morning like they would you would see glimpses of it and which I understand like when someone's really hard to get and you see glimpses of these things that you want and they're what you think you want fine maybe they string you along for a year not 10 right 10 years right the part of the movie when Charlotte like stood up and she was like my friend's getting married and she's been

seeing the guy for 10 years. And, like, in my head, I was like, God damn. I can't believe he's drunk along for 10 years. Right. It's so insane. I want to also segue past things he did when they were in a quasi-relationship and move on to what he did when she was actually in a healthy relationship. She meets Aiden, who is a little, he has a dad bod. But other than that, then he wears, like, a lot.

He wears too many necklaces and poopishels. I mean, yeah, everybody gets hot after they get cheated on. Right, right, right. But, like, first time around, like, dad bod, bod, poohie shell. necklace. Right, right, right. But like, whatever, it was probably like the late 90s. I don't know. A good dude. He was a good dude. And like, what is, uh, what does Carrie decide to do? It was having a fair with the person who moved to Paris for a week, went on vacation, married a model, came back and she's like, you know, sometimes you've got to like lean into

it. I've thought to myself, I'm just back in. Fuck, shut up, Carrie Bradshaw. And then I thought to myself. Shut up. Every time she starts a sentence like that, I'm like, like, let someone shit all over me for a decade. Aidan's at home like buffing her furniture and she's having an affair with him. The new black. I mean, like, what? Yeah. This show fucked me up, but it made me have pity for men that we're just truly not

being nice to me. Yeah. And I mean, don't even get me fucking started on Aiden. The craziest thing of the, honestly, of the whole show. I have a few things that are just like still blow my mind till this day. Again, it was not a real show. But that she cheated on Aiden with Big, right? Right? Okay. She gets Aiden back, right? When he's hot. And he took off the poohy

she gets him back. And she tries to get, she's trying to get back in the nook. She knows he doesn't feel the same. And I, you know, I can relate to that. And she was just trying to get it back in that place where that they had that love. And he literally says to her, in her doorway, I just don't want you to see big anymore. Because, you know, you cheated on me with him. And he's her ex. And she literally says, I can't do that. He's a part of my life. Are you fucking. Seriously. Right? And then she brings big to Aiden's cabin?

I know. It's literally insane. It's mentally ill. It's a mentally ill psychopath. I don't understand. And why Aiden, you know what? Let's put a little blame on Aiden. Aiden could have not been with her.

He's stupid. That was such a pussy move. It was ridiculous. For him to be like, oh, okay, you actually are still going to hang out with a guy you cheated on me with? I mean, come on, Aiden. Right. And oh, he's a part of your life?

Was he a part of your life? Was he a part of your life when he left you to move to Paris? when he married a 25-year-old model instead of staying with you, was he with you all those times? He didn't seem to be with you. He was with you when he was married and he wanted to have an affair with his wife. He's the worst person. He's the worst person alive.

No, he's not actually. Let's put some blame on her. You can only be upset. I can only feel bad for a person that's letting himself be abused like this emotionally so many times because it's not like she was married to him and didn't have any financial resources and they had kids and she didn't know a way out. Right. Right? Like I sympathize with people like that that are actually being like abused in a certain way and there really isn't a way out. Like there was a way out. Oh yeah. She's out here buying 25 pairs of Manolo Blonix every 30 seconds. Oh yeah. No. She just, she did to herself. I mean, you read if you Google like, I mean, articles, people really just like Carrie. I mean, they think Carrie was like selfish and she was kind of the worst character. And I always related to Carrie as a writer and just job wise, you know. But when we were kids, it was kids. When we were like in our 20s, it was like,

I don't want to be Miranda because she's the least hot one. It's like, yeah, I want to fucking be Miranda. Miranda's the best one. You're lucky if you're Miranda. Right. They picked the most successful one and made her look so ugly. They gave her the ugliest haircut and wardrobe of all the time. Now she's going to be the mayor of New York City.

Yes. Miranda for mayor. We're going to have a lesbian female mayor. I cannot wait. Oh, I can't wait. Are you ready to segue to the movie? Because I have a lot of things to say about the movie. I'm ready.

I want to segue into the movie and then I want to segue back into like a lot of praise for their characters and they're incredible relationships and I'm probably going to get a little teary when I talk about Smith, Stephen Harry. This just like women in their 20s and 30s like this person fucked us up. Fuck you too. Candace Bush now. You did this to me. All the writers in that writer's room. And I will say this before we get into the movie.

I was doing a little bit of research before this and I did read and I think I knew this before that all the things in that show were based on real life experience. Like the situations in the show, they wanted them to really, and I felt like they are so real, especially dating New York City, Jesus. So, like, all those guys they dated, you know, like the bad kisser and the dirty talker and the Catholic guy with the guilty after-sit, like, all those things were really realistic and they, nothing happened in the show that didn't happen to someone that was, like, writing for the show. And which, so, who the fuck came up with this big idea? They all are realistic. And I think that the big relationship is

realistic, too. There's plenty of women I know that have been with men that, like, after seven or eight years of being together, aren't sure if they want to marry my girlfriends or aren't sure if they want to move in together. I hear people after like five years, like not sure. And it's like, you know me. There's nothing else you could possibly know about me. You want me or you don't. You want to marry me or you don't. But even that's a little different because they were never even together. They were never even a boyfriend girlfriend. I'll never forget this episode where she's like, he refers to her as his girlfriend and she's like, you've never called me that before. And he's like, I mean, I call you that. Just not your face. And she's like. And you're supposed, we're supposed to swoon over that.

Yeah. She like melts into a puddle. Do you know how savage it is to like compliment somebody only behind their back, but you withhold it from their face? Yes. That is so fucked up. That's not cute. And it's just supposed to be like, you're right. Like this, this like adorable banter. I know what banter with a man feels like and it doesn't feel like I'm going to die all

the time. Yeah. And you know what? Like, you know, they were always trying to like be friends. You know, like, well, we're just friends. We're just friends. And then they would fuck or they'd cheat on their significant other. And then obviously they ended up getting married.

But like, yeah, that's the guy you'd be friends with. I have friends like that. I have fuck boys that are friends. And we talk and we hang out. I'm not going to date them. Absolutely not. Like, under any circumstances. I have friends that, like, I actually really like hanging out with that are a lot of fun,

and I pity the women that they are with. A million percent. They are great friends. They're fun to party with and go out with. Maybe we even make out a little bit because you're good looking, but, like, I would never fucking clear. Yes. I would never emotionally invest in a big.

Okay. Let's talk about the movie. Which also, I'm just going to say this. Do with it what you will. Saw the movie three times in the theater. Once, once in an half. I loved it. That much.

Well, I saw with people from when I had a real job, but we saw it with people at our PR company. Do you remember real job? Then I saw it with my, like, real friends, you know, that's not like colleagues. And then I saw it with a guy I was dating at the time. What was the best of the three? I probably the guy I was dating at the time because we like went home and had a lot of sex, you know. It really got you revved up to watching that stuff. Watching Charlotte and shit her pants.

That still makes me laugh. When Charlotte chit's her pants is still, I will laugh out loud. The hashtag me too. That's happening. Because her face looks like the most scared person. I like, you just totally ignore me telling you I shit my pants once. Yeah. Wait, and what?

Was it in Mexico? No. It was, I got food poisoning from this restaurant, Meloraesai that is no longer open. I was on the train and I realized that like something is wrong. Oh my God. Shaking and sweating. Like, you're holding it in so bad. You think you're going to throw up.

Yeah, it's the worst. I got to my front door. I put the key in the door. And shit. And my butt was like, well, we're. here now. No. No. Oh my God. You went. That, I mean, best case scenario, if you have to see your pants, you're literally already at the door. I almost did. Let's just get into it. It's a bonus episode. What do we, what do we care? What are you guys going to do? Where are you going to go?

Where are you going to go? You know you're going to listen to us talking about the movie. I yell like Ashley all the time. Where are you going to go? I was like, I got a cold brew at Paws, cafe on B and I'm like walking home. I live on 12th. I'm at like seventh and it hits me and I'm like oh my God. So I'm like walking on the street doing like the shit your pants shuffle. You know what I'm talking about like the fastest you can walk while clenching your asshole. Yeah, without like I'm dripping down your butt. I get I do make it in. I mean I walk in throw my bag on the floor. Don't even greet my dog and I just like get to the toilet and then I realized I'd had a bodysuit on so I'd pull it all the way down and I was still wearing my sunglasses. So I'm sitting on the fucking toilet.

Naked naked with raybans on just like peeing out of your butt. And I'm like, what if, like, I died right now? And this is, like, how they found me. I'm just, like, rocking a pair of ray bands, naked on the toilet. They're like, this chick partied. One of the ambulance, she won't be like, yo, put her bodysuit back on for a second, so I go look at her in that. Like, no guys love body suit so bad.

They were like, damn, she was wearing a body suit. The chick is hot. She's covered in her own feces. Pull it to the side. Oh, my God. Okay, the movie. Okay. I am, I'm upset.

I'm upset about the message that this puts out into the world about how you should allow yourself to be treated and how your friends should allow you to be treated. Right. Well, and that's the thing too. Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, that last scene and end of season six and she's over in Paris with Alexander Petrovsky and they're like, go get our girl. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Seriously. Oh, that's who you're calling up. Miranda, I expected more off the bench to like go get her. Like, none of you can afford a plane ticket to go get her. Like, you got to pick the worst person. Why don't you go find the person who put the Post-it note on her, on her table to go find her for your girl back.

Like, only one person. There was only one person worse than big, and that was burger. Fuck burger. Burma's cute, though. Ugh. Okay, the movie. Well, I will tell you from personal experience, I did have somebody leave me right before our wedding.

And let me tell you a little. At least he didn't let you get into the dress. Like, a big saw her in the fucking dress. Remembering you like, shout out to my ex-fiance. Thanks for not letting me buy the dress, motherfucker. I feel like I've said the F-words so many times on this show. I'm fired up. What are you going to do about it?

Anyways. Anything goes on the bonus episode. So I'll tell you something about my life. I recently saw this person. Actually, I recently saw my ex-fiance, which obviously Ashley knows, but I'll tell this audience. I had so much anxiety. I was like, don't go.

Don't do it. Right. And I saw this person. We went out to dinner and I was immediately sort of brought back to that feeling of remembering how much I loved him and remembering being in love with him and how good and easy and calm it was. And I walked out the door after this experience, whatever. I'm not going to get into what happened.

But I left and I felt like I just could never be with this person again. Like I'll never forgive what happened. I could have never the humiliation and what I was put through and how unfair it was what I went through. And I'm not mad at him anymore. I'm truly not. I wish him the best, which some people think is crazy. But I couldn't get back together with this person.

Right. not a thing I could do. And, like, for all my friends to, like, rally around it, all my friends that were also screwed over in this situation that were a part of my wedding and my family and all this to just, like, be, like, just their tacit support. And, like, no fucking way. Yeah. No way.

Yeah. And she just marries them. Yeah. You know, let's, like, like, walk through it. You know, he was, I hated all of it. I hated all of it. Like, the night before he was, remember, he called her and he was upset, he was having doubts.

basically like coddle this 50-year-old man and convince him to marry her the next day. You know what I mean? Who already walked down the aisle with multiple other women? What? He had all, he had, I'm saying, he'd already done this multiple times. And I mean, you know, the way the whole thing plays out, you guys have seen it. I mean, if you're listening this episode, you clearly care about sex in the city or you're not listening, but you've seen it. You know, I mean, it's very, like, the whole thing is that they tried.

And then they try to, like, blame Carrie. Because, like, she got the, let the wedding get the best of her. And she turned into this big affair. And she starts blaming herself. And I mean, that's seen the street with the flowers and, you know, because he tries to turn around and change his mind. Right. You know, but the thing that pissed me off probably the most of all of it. You ready?

I'm ready. I'm glad I'm anchored. All he did to get her back was send her fucking emails. That's it. Big. Big, who would be outside of her apartment in his black car all the time during the other seasons. Big who flew to Paris for her, like overnight to find her and get her back. Big who would do anything when he felt that need to get carry back.

Had enough money, he could have bought a city block and donated it to her. He wrote an email. He knew where she fucking lived. All that bitch did was email. And then all of a sudden she unlocks the email and she's like, oh, my God. And then he didn't even write his own emails. Remember he just copied and pasted poems from that fucking book? Right.

Not even one original thought. All he did to get back the person that he jelted at the altar was copy and paste other people's shit and email her. Fuck. Like that's how the gym gets you to sign back up for the gym. That's not how you get somebody to forgive you. And then they just showed up at the same, like the old apartment at the same time. And like that was it. That's all it took.

Yeah. That's all it took. It's like when I canceled Hello Fresh and they were like, we would love to get you back, please. We're going to offer you 50% off and we're going to send you email after email that some marketing person put together. in a PDF file. That is how hard he worked. I will give them props. If you quit Hello Fresh,

fuck, they do not let you go. They called me from so many different numbers. I was like, damn. Okay. I signed up for those P90X things and I tried to cancel it. There is no way to cancel it online. You have to call them

so a specialist can talk you out of it for an hour. And you have to keep, it's like in friends, I want to quit the gym. I want to quit the gym. I want to quit the gym. It's the one thing I remember for friends. Anyways, Big puts in the smallest amount of effort in the war. She's like taking a nap in the closet.

He like takes a nap in the closet with her. And it's just like, they get married. And then they still tie it up with a nice bow of that like how it was kind of Carrie's fault. Because the wedding, she cared too much about the wedding. Right. Because everybody is such a fool for caring about their first wedding. Like she's so crazy. Let me just, my blood's boiling.

Let me just remind you and everybody else that like, This is Carrie's first marriage. She's marrying, I hate to say it, the love of her fucking life. It is a huge deal. She's a high society person in New York City. Of course she wants to have a badass wedding. And he tries to like dim her because he's had two other ones. Like that's not her fucking fault.

Right. You know like that made me so mad that whole movie. Like she's like, she's going to, who designed the dress? She's the most beautiful dress. And she's in Vogue and she's a big deal in New York City. Of course you want to have some baller ass wedding. Right. And like he was like, I can't.

I just can't. to be my third wedding. That's not her problem. But you know what? I always say like when somebody shows you who they are, you should trust them. He let her down in every single opportunity that she set him up for success. He was supposed to go to dinner with her and her friends. He doesn't show up and he humiliates her. So wedding, he like keeps nagging her to leave the whole time. She's not even sure if he's going to go in the first place. Every single opportunity, like we've all dated people like this. We're like every opportunity they get, they take that opportunity to let you down. And And that is so disappointing, but like for me, I'm maxed out on those relationships after like six months.

Thank you. We've all, we've all been there with that person. Like, you know, I had a guy that, like, just never really gave me that, like, commitment that I wanted. And we went back and forth for a lot of time. And, but I can't, like, we've talked to this before. Like, every woman should know what it feels like to have a, not have to convince a guy to be with you. You know, and that's what she got from Aiden. She got this guy that wanted to show up for her and wanted to meet her friends and wanted to commit to her.

And it's, and whatever, for whatever reason, again, not or not, this is just a show. But for whatever reason, that wasn't the guy for her. That's fine. But it's just. So I got to thinking, if it's too easy, is that a problem? If there's no drama, is that a problem? So shut up, Carrie. Why are you so, if it's too easy.

Oh, poor you. You find this, like, nice guy with a dad bod that wants to be nice to. And you're like, I just, I'm wondering if it's just, you know, why doesn't it feel special enough? Because there isn't enough drama in my life. It was also easy. Samantha. Harry and Charlotte. Like, I mean, Steve and Miranda were a little murky there, but, I mean, don't even get me started on my love for Steve and Miranda. His little voice, little Steve's voice.

I like this. I just get so much more emotional unless I get older when I watch stuff. Like, it's still to this day, Steve just makes me cry. And I mean, those three relationships, Miranda and Steve, Charlotte and Harry and Samantha and Smith are so powerful, the message was so powerful for what you should look for in a man, this person that cherishes you and loves you and prioritizes you. And the message that I love the most that I've said this before that I loved about Miranda and Steve is that and Charlotte and Harry is that it sometimes doesn't look like what you think it's going to look like.

And I love with Charlotte that she was this was this waspey person that thought she was supposed to find this person. She found him and she married him and it went wrong with Trey. And then she was so opposed to dating the guy that wasn't as tall and attractive as she thought. And he treated her the way you're supposed to be treated. And she married him and their relationship was so beautiful. And that was the thing with Miranda and Steve as well. She's like, I'm not going to date this bartender. I think this is just going to be a fling. And, you know, he treated her so well too and prioritized her and loved her. And I love that their relationship was unconventional. They had the kid first. And then they went back to each other. And Miranda got to fuck hot Blair Underwood. So shout to the writer to that one.

That was so great. And Samantha, Samantha Smith, I might even be my favorite because I like younger guys. You know, and it was the younger guy and she had the ability to kind of make him famous. And he just could have any girl he wanted and he chose her because he loved that she was just this boss of a woman. And then I love that in the end, Samantha was single because it sent the message that you don't have to have somebody and you can love yourself. You don't have to have kids. You don't have to get married. And I can't believe that those three relationships of the other three main characters were such

strong, powerful messaging for women and then what they did with Caring Big. It blows my mind. It ruined my life. I love all this stuff you said. I'm finding myself. I'm sitting here and I'm nodding me ahead and I totally agree with everything you said and I think it's so beautiful this idea of like,

yeah, like you close your eyes and you imagine a relationship and it might not be what it looks like. And I think we all want to grow up to marry, you know, when you're little, you want to grow up to marry big. You want to grow up to marry like the titan of industry and the man with a ton of money who's powerful and just, He's a man. And all these other women ended up with people that just love them and cherish them.

I mean, a lot of them were incredibly successful in their own right. And even Charlotte and Tre, we're not a bad relationship. I think the message there was just like, just because you think this checks all the like economic boxes you wanted to check. Doesn't mean it's right. But yeah, all those other relationships in the show were great. And you made the main character be this like weak, whiny. And by the way, incredibly condescending to her friends about all of their relationship. all the time.

Right. Yeah. Oh, Charlotte, honey. I don't see. Shut up. Yeah. Like, all the time passing judgment is if you have any right to pass judgment on poor, sweet, adorable Jewish Harry.

When in doubt, date a Jewish lawyer. Oh, Harry. Who's your favorite? Can you pick? Like, to date or? Favorite, like, of those three relationships? Like, Samantha Smith. I really like Steve and Miranda because I just, I think it's really, I like the message that, like,

you don't need a man that makes a bazillion dollars. You can be a badass and you can be successful. You can be with a man because you want him and not because you need him. And I love that message. Oh, my God. You know, you don't need a bank account from somebody else. Sometimes companionship is enough. And maybe, you know, you're not thrilled to bring them to the company,

picked it because they don't own the suit that you think that they're going to have. But at the end of the day, that's the person you want to be with. And Charlotte, too. You know, she found somebody who was outside of her religion, who didn't think was, she didn't think he was good looking enough. He was nerdy. He had tons of body hair and no head hair. And, you know, he treated her like a princess and he loved her friends.

And I love that message. She was all three of those men. Charished through the friends. Really thrive to have a relationship with the friends of their girlfriend. And I, to me, that's always been really important to me. And that big could give a shit. No. He didn't give a shit.

He didn't give in a shit. And I do love, you know what the thing I just have to say is because I watch this episode. This episode has me like, shuck. Well, no, this episode. makes me hysterically cry every single time, how Harry landed this beautiful person he never thought he could date and she was on such a pedestal, but he still put her in a place. Remember when she was just like, do you know what people think when they see us? He was like, yeah, I do.

I just didn't think you thought that. And they kind of broke up and he came into the Jewish, like, party. He proposed. Like, I just can't even. Like, I mean, how and where are they sitting around the writer's table creating these beautiful relationships and then like the most toxic one of all. They just, is the main one. I guess the idea, if I'm,

if I want to be generous about why this happened is, you know, I think that they wanted to pick a partner for Carrie and they wanted it to be the ongoing partner for all six seasons. And unless there was incredible turmoil, there was no way to keep that person as the main character throughout it. And I guess that's the point. But like, to have her end up with him and marry him and everybody's like so supportive and shows up.

and it's just like, yeah, I guess of tomorrow I decided to marry my ex-fiance. My friends would come and they'd be nice to me about it because they love me. But I can't even imagine like that being a good scenario in my life, right? No. God, no. I mean, and that's just what I loved about Miranda the whole time was that she was the one that called bullshit on it all the time. You know, like she was like, you're getting shit on. Like, this is not a good situation for you.

you. Right. And that doesn't mean that you're some, like, bitter, middle-aged, overachieving, like, single woman. Like, you're allowed to look at your friend and think that and not be bitter and miserable. Like, you're allowed to just watch your friend get treated like shit and not like it. I don't like it. I don't like watching my friends be treated like that. Anyways, I really, I attribute all of my dating problems, not to myself, but to Carrie Bradshaw. Well, I think that we've come a long way to be able to. Well, so, me. Me. like to be able to look back and be like, God, I don't want that. You know, and I'm trying to remember.

Like, I'm trying to think when I was, you know, when I was like 25 or 26 or something, like watching it and what I, I'm trying to put myself back in those shoes and remember what I was thinking then. I definitely wasn't thinking this way. But I don't think that I was like, oh, my God, I want what Carrie and Big have. You know what I mean? But I didn't, I wasn't criticizing it like I am now. So, yeah, we got molded to think that was this okay, acceptable thing.

And maybe we should even strive for it. for, which is scary. But maybe when you're young, we talk a lot about, like, as you get older, you're more comfortable asking for things you want in bed. And I think that as you get older, you're also just more comfortable asking for things you want in a relationship. And you said to me, you were talking about some guy the other day and you were like, I don't like him if he doesn't like me. And like, that's how I am too. Like, I can't remember the last time I was like crazy into a guy that like wasn't into me. Like, I feel like I know pretty early on if somebody's into me. And if they're not like no hard feelings. I think that love is rare. And like if you're an

to me, fine, but I'm not going to beg you to be into me. And I think that like the carry big thing is sort of like, it's reminiscent of maybe how you would be when you're like 19 or 20 and you're not sure how to ask for the things that you want and just walk away when you realize you're never going to get it. Well, and that is, I mean, it goes back to this bad boy thing, right? Like he was the ultimate bad boy, fuck boy. But that I do remember wanting a guy that was a little bit more like that bad boy hard to get when I was a lot younger. But then you just grow up and you're like, this is so stupid. Like, I'm awesome. Someone should want to be with me. I shouldn't have to convince someone to be with me or commit to me. And I want an equal partnership. I don't want to

be chasing somebody. And like I stand by this. I don't know if it might be something for a full episode. I think the best relationships are where the guy feels like the lucky one and he thinks he landed this amazing chick and has her a little bit like on a pedestal. And that's what you saw with all three of the other ones. And the one with Carrie and Big was so different. It was like he was the big person. He was the big get, you know? And she was just like lucky to have him.

I have tons of friends that are married. All of their husbands look at them like the sun shines out of their ass. It's really, it's the only only way to go. I've plenty of girlfriends that, you know, at my age, I mean, I grew up in the Midwest. And so I have a lot of girlfriends that are pregnant with their second child. They have two kids. They have one kid. And like their husbands look at them like they are the greatest things that have ever happened

on the planet. And that is just how it should be. You should love your partner and adore them. And I just feel like this running around stuff is very like childish and weird and a bad example to put out in the world. And I watch this show now. I'm gross down. I think we've covered it. I think we're,

are you ready to shut down the topic? Yeah. Do you feel good? Let's wrap it up. I'm really excited that we did this. Me too. That was a rant. We were in a cab last night and I was like, Ashley, I don't know if either of us are going to be able to talk over the other person.

Like, we are both so amped up about this. And then we got to thinking, this is the way. War show ever created? No, I'm just kidding. It's still my favorite show. I'll still watch fucking reruns on TBS. I don't care. I love it so much.

I mean, it's going to rain for the next like four days. That's all we have to do. All right. Well, fuck you, Carrie Bradshaw. And Candace Bushnell? And McCannis Bushnell. And everyone else that was on board with that storyline. Everyone should strive to be a Miranda.

And, you know, I would like to apologize to my mom for being such a bitch to her when I was 13 years old. I think she was such an uptight prude because, you know what? Like always, mom, you were right. And always steer clear of girls that say, I'm a carry. I'm a carry. I'm a carry. Who wants to be that? Anyways, thank you guys for turning into our first bonus episode. And New Yorkers vote for Cynthia Nixon for governor.

Lesbian female. Oh, it's governor. It's not mayor. Governor, right? Governor New York. Yeah. Yes, thank you guys so much. Hopefully we'll be doing some more of these.

Definitely let us know what you think. Yeah, we would love your feedback on this. Again, guys, your only job. today is to subscribe to this podcast and leave us a rating. That's your only job. And tell one friend. Tell a friend about us. Because this show is for you. Tell one friend who thinks she's a carry. So listen to this. I have someone breaks up with their big after this. Everyone's got one of those. I hope it's just like an ocean of breakups after this. Somebody being like, I am dating big. And then I thought to myself, I'm getting big. And HBO was like, they had a surge in sex and the city.

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