Girls Gotta Eat - Getting On and Getting Off the Apps

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

Fire up your phone, it's an app episode! We're talking about getting on the apps (the energy to put out and headspace to be in when you're looking for someone, getting back out there after a breakup and the type of people to look for) and getting OFF the apps (when to pause or delete your account, talking to someone you're dating about their app status, and more). We're also discussing whether you'd match with your current partner on an app, and Rayna's elite Hinge prompt answer. Before we get into the topic, we're sharing the full update on Rusty (IYKYK), and recapping our Europe trip with a shocking thing Ashley found out about Rayna, plus revealing our new Vibes Only products. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: HelloFresh: Get 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months at hellofresh.com/50gge and use code 50GGE. AG1: Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D3 + K2 and five free travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/gge. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at quince.com/gge. Hinge: Download Hinge https://hin.ge/GirlsGottaEat and share your Dating Intentions to find someone worth deleting the app for. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're getting on. I'm getting off. It's like the merriga round of dating apps. You know, someone's always getting off, someone's always getting on. So it of girls got to eat. Welcome back. Welcome back from Europe. You can't not say it. This is like the third time this year you've had to bring up that we just got back from somewhere. You're getting on. I'm getting off. It's like the merryground of dating apps. You know, someone's always getting off. Someone's always getting on. It's a different animal. Well, going anywhere for me is always getting off. It's a different animal. Well, going anywhere for me is always fine. I am like ready to roll.

Like I land. I'm excited. I'm like full of life. Coming back, I don't have anything left to live for. It was 22 hours. Yeah. You could do the math on that. You were, you've been pretty jet lagged.

I could not do any math. As someone who doesn't get jet lag. I can't relate. Physically, she doesn't bloat. Physically, I don't bloat. Every time I say I don't get jet lag, I feel like Melissa McCarthy and bridesmaids. I don't bloat. Physically, I just don't bloat.

I feel like it's such a brag. but it is my truth. This was the worst jet lag I've ever had. I was fucked up. I'm still fucked up. Yeah. I've been fucked up for like 12 days. But we had an amazing trip.

I'm really excited. Talk about it. And if you are watching, you'll notice we have some vibes. Only boxes next to us in between. Oh, that's why Azul's not up here. He's like, oh, the vibrators really. Come get one of these that vibrators on your back.

You know what? We also come get a massage. At some point, we'll need to address the fact that we were going to call a toy the Azul. and then we walked it back and we were like, that's fucking weird. I just was letting you fly. I was like, if she wants to name a dildo after her dog, then that's fine. Yeah, just see you guys.

It is a male toy. That's named after one of your exes. Which no one tried to stop me. No one. I was like, it's a little weird that maybe you want to name a sex toy after your dog. And you're like, that tracks, that's fine. And I was like, what about my ex-boyfriend's name? And you were like, yeah, let's do that.

But when you guys see, you'll understand. Yeah. It's not like we called it like the Kevin. Now I want to. We should come out with the most like self-inflated average toy and call it the Chad. Please go, we name a toy. That is so funny. We're like, this toy is just mediocre at best.

Yes, but it's great. Okay. What is on your foot? What do you mean? You guys are watching the YouTube right now. Ashley has not socks on. Raina. I've never seen this in the history of the podcast.

Now people can talk about your feet for the whole episode. The way your shots just dropped. You were with me when I bought these. So these sneakers, who are Karyuma, who we had as a partner on the show, I was wearing these no socks. That's the most insane thing I've ever heard. It's not Karyuma's fault. It's your fault. Right.

When you were like these are trying to really hurt my feet, I don't have socks on. To walk around in Europe. So like they are comfortable, but like after like five hours, I start to get a little blister on my pinky toe. They are still comfortable, but they were starting to rub. They did start to smell. Yeah. I don't hate the player. I hate the game.

So I was like, but I don't want to show my socks. Like, I like the look of no sock and you were like, you got to get these special socks. This is not a hot take. But I always felt like these, even the ones that have the little thing on the back that sticks to you. They didn't work, but these are Lulu and they are elite. They're so cute. I love them. Thanks.

Yeah. Do you think you'll get them? I have. Do you have a sock loyalty? I have hundreds of socks upstairs. You think I have a lot of sweatshirts? I wait till I show you the whole armoire full of socks. I have tan socks, white socks, high socks, black socks, workout socks.

I have like three dwarves of socks. What was that Bubba Gump? What was that? I actually like come up for a baguress. Sock, bow boy. Cock sock. I have a whole drawer of cock socks in case any guys want to come over and jerk off. What is one of those?

A cock sock sock? Oh, just for guys like they jerk off. They come inside of them. a mess. You do not have a No, Raina, shut up. Is that a joke?

Any sock could be a cock song. They don't sell them. It's because of Brandon. Any sock could be a cock sock. If you believe in yourself. Well, I wear socks around the house into bed.

That's crazy. It is always a relationship milestone when someone realizes it for the first time. I forget that you sleep with socks on. And I'm insane. Are you naked? Are you butt naked and socks? in the past, but like, I will just wear it. Sometimes I will just be putting.

And like, so the warmth from the comforter is enough for the rest of your body, but not your little toes. My feet, I don't know what, I think maybe I have like weak circulation, but my feet are always cold, always cold. So I have so many socks, like fluffy socks, warm socks, cocks socks, socks, sandwich. And I love socks. I get socks every Christmas. I have like the warmest socks in the planet. It's like a whole thing, like super fluffy. Like my mom gets me. them every year. And like, I always think that a partner or somebody I'm dating is going to think it's cute. And they just never do. I think it's adorable. They're like, what are you doing? I think it starts to grow in them. You know, like you fall in love with somebody. You're like, oh, I love how she wore

socks to bed. You know, all their ex become adorable. Yes. And then it becomes like a joke. You know what I mean? And Sparkleys thinks they're cute. But like those cactus ones we got in Phoenix, those are so intense. They're bright yellow. They have cactuses all over them. Like, I'm not wearing these to be funny. I just totally forgot that you did this. This is the thing I don't know about you. You don't wear underwear, but you wear socks to bed. Your pussy is just flying in the wind, but you're like, let me cover these toes up. This is a crazy quirk.

That is very funny. And then usually around like four or five in the morning, I'll wake up and I take them off. A little more comfortable. That's your 4 a.m. ritual. Let me spread these toes out. No panties. You go full sock. I usually like wake up in the middle of the night.

Like I'm kind of hot and then that's why I take them off. I get a little more comfortable. Okay. I'm wearing shoes to record. I got these new like slippers that are really comfy. Those are great. Yeah, I was excited to show them to you. I love to put a shoe on a couch.

Yeah. Just this couch? Not inside. You used to do it at WTF Studios. And I'd be like, granted, this isn't your home. That's exactly why I'm putting the shoes on it. I would never put shoes on my own couch, like an animal. Okay.

That's crazy. Big day. You guys, I'm just like, I'm so filled with excitement. I feel like I'm going to burst. This has been such a long time coming. Ashley and I have been like tirelessly masturbating with all these toys. And we are finally ready to announce our first fall drop. We have three new products.

We are so excited for you to put them in your body. Oh, my God. Yes. And your mouth. Yeah. So if you are new here, Ashley and I have a premium line of sex toys called Vibes Only with a connected app. All the Tories are Bluetooth connected to the app. And there's erotic audio stories, a remote control, long distance. There's how-to videos, all of that. And these are our two new toys and our new blow gel flavor. Do you want to start introducing that?

Let's just start with what everybody already knew, which is the Pumpkin Spice BlowGel. So you can give a Pumpkin Spice Blowjob this fall or eat some pumpkin spice pussy because this is vulva friendly. This is our first vulva-friendly formula, which again, we just don't think you need to flavor the pussy if you're eating it. It comes ready flavor. It comes already flavored. Mine actually is already pumpkin spice. So we actually modeled it after my own. I do.

I smell it. It's like, it tastes like Ashley. Yeah. I'm always ready for fall. White girl named Ashley. It's my favorite season. My pussy is always ready. So this has also been a long time coming.

I'm just thinking about like a little scarf knitted onto your post. A little marken. A little ugg boot. That's how you keep it warm in the fall. I keep an ugg boot on my clit. Flippy your clit. Someone wants to finger me. You have to take my ugs off.

Your ugg, your singular ugg. Like a little baby. A little mule. Like a little mule on it. The short one, the short ux. Oh my God. I'm funny. Okay.

So we have been talking about this since last year. So we launched in summer of 2022, it was like too short of a runway to develop it for last fall, year one in the business. So we're so excited to have it for this fall. And we've tested all the flavors. We wanted to really taste like a pumpkin spice latte. So you can have a PSL on your DSLs. Get it. And it's incredible. And we just love that as vulva friendly. And so going forward, all of our blow gels will have a new name. So get ready for that. And they will. all be vulva friendly as well. So we're going to have more flavors coming out for the Christmas holiday season. So get ready for those. Feel free to take your guesses. Right now we still have the

peanut calotta and the orange cream sickle running really low on those. We're going to retire those for the holiday season and we'll have new flavors coming out. But going forward, again, new name coming. This is still blow gel, but we are repackaging and doing all these fun things and it'll be for the P and the D. So if you've never tried this before, this one in particular, it's a little sweet. It's a little cinnamony. It's the perfect balance. And if you've never tried blow gel at all, it's just a drop or two on a dick or a vagina now. And you can just go to town. It just makes it taste fun. It just adds like another element to the experience. People that say to us, I don't like giving oral. I'm not good at oral. We always say the best thing to do is make it more enjoyable for yourself. And that's such a

fun way to do it is just make everything taste better. Yes. So enjoy a PSL for your DSL, as you said. Okay. And let's save the biggest one for last. But this is just something fun. I want you to talk about it. Obviously, it's your name. Yeah, so our number one bestseller in the company is the Raina. It is a dual-ended vibrator on one end. There is a clit-sucker. And on the other end, it is a vibrator. If you guys are watching YouTube and everything is fully on YouTube, you can see what it is. But you can bend it. You can put it inside of yourself and have the clit-sucker against your clit into the same time. This is really fun to put on a little naughty show for somebody. It's unreal. It's our bestseller for a reason. It's sold out like four or five times now. We just

keep reordering it. And we were just like, okay, we have had this same shade of pale pink for over a year now. What can we do differently? And so we did hot pink. It's giving Barbie. So you never need a Ken again. Yeah. Just go on a solo mission with yourself. If you have a hard time getting off and definitely people tell us they have a hard time masturbating or getting there, this really is a great vibrator for you because it's direct clitoral stimulation. And the color is so spicy. It's got that beautiful VO logo. There's separate controls for the vibrator on one end and the sucker on the other end. And this is just, it's like a little Barbie wand. That pink is perfect. Again, this stuff takes us so long because we're so meticulous about it. And this was another thing where we like got a sample.

We're like, no, wrong pink. Like we're obsessed with it. And this really is kind of outside of our typical color scheme. So I don't even know that we'll have toys in this color in the future. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see what you guys think. But right now this is like very limited edition, like one run. So get the Raina in hot pink. Yes. And finally, our newest vibrator in the collection. The Allison Wonderland, this is our rabbit. Just take a minute, soak it in if you're watching.

You should be watching. But I mean, this is truly changing the vibrator game. This is the most beautiful, special, versatile rabbit you'll ever have. And if you are somebody who started your masturbation journey with that rabbit style, that was my story. Mine too. It's like how far we've come with the materials and how beautiful it is

and how not scary the clit stimulator. It's not a fucking rabbit with ears for your clit. It's just so beautiful. So this took us a year to develop and we really conceptualized this end to end. Like Ashley said, the first vibrators we both really used were these big clunky,

masculine-looking vibrators. This rabbit, first of all, has a beautiful gold detail. So it has a ring in the center. We call it the Gunslinger. rose gold detail. So it looks really feminine and chic. The clit stimulator has a flat pad on it.

So it really covers your whole clit, which I haven't seen on a rabbit before. They're usually a little pointier. Well, yes, that's what I don't like. They're like pointy. I'm like, this is not comfortable on the most sensitive part of my body. And Ashley had to really test this

from the beginning. Ashley put the prototype, the hard plastic prototype inside of her. Yes. On a Zoom call. I mean, I went to the bathroom, but we all had to pause the call while I went and stuck it inside my body.

I used a lube because I have that tight little pussy and I was like, I can't. And then we had to kind of like fix the spacing. So we've really put a lot of work into this. And of course we know everybody's bodies are different shaped. But this really should be a perfect fit in terms of wanting to penetrate yourself with it and also have that clit stimulator hit your clit. But what else, which is so special to me is that the shaft and this head is really so soft

and like kind of squishy. So you can just put the head on your clit and masturbate. that way. That's what I've been doing. You know, if I'm like feeling lazy and just want to get one in, and it's so soft, it feels so good. Again, we got a prototype and we're like, nope, not squishy enough. So we went back in and just made it completely perfect. So it's really super versatile. That's why we call it the Alice in Wonderland, because you can explore your own body in so many different ways. Yes. And there's two different buttons. So you can control the shaft and the clit stimulator separately. This really I like for like a long masturbation session. So I'll start with the shaft on

vibrating and I'll just fuck myself with that. When I'm ready to push myself over the edge, I turn on the arm, the clit stimulator. Well, I feel like you could start with the shaft on your clit, like teasing yourself. So start just like using the super soft, exquisitely squishy shaft and head to like tease yourself. And then when you're ready, you slip it in and then you have like the full penetration and then the clit stimulator obviously hitting your clit. And again, these all connect to the vibes only app and you can get in the app for free and you can use the controller and then there are paid features as well. one of the best paid features is the long distance controller.

So your partner can be controlling your vibrator from anywhere in the world that the app is available. We always say from down the street to across the globe. And that's like a really fun way, especially if you're in a long distance relationship to really get that in. It's super easy to connect and just go to town. So we love it. Those are the three products. We'll be talking more about these.

And we have some new products even coming before the end of the year. This is just the first drop of all the new stuff that we're doing. It's been a long time coming. we're so excited to introduce you guys to new things for Vibes Only. Yeah, so Vivesonly.com to get everything. Sign up for the newsletter. We'll always email you with discounts, new products, cool new content in the app. You can get in there now.

And just check it out. We're really excited for you guys to get off, try some new things, solo or with a partner. We're just really excited to bring these things to you. Okay. And one last thing we just want to promote is our tour. We have coming up this week. We are in Austin and Dallas. Austin is probably sold out at this point.

It was really close. but we still have tickets to Dallas. The Dallas show is always one of our most unhinged. Never fails since being at the House of Blues to being at the Majestic Theater, where we will be back at the Majestic Theater this Friday night. Get those tickets.

Multiple special guests. Yes, starting with my dad. Come see Bill Greenberg in the flesh and other Dallas-based people. Yes. Oh my God, duh. Okay. So get those tickets.

And, of course, we have so many other cities coming up. After this, we're going to Atlanta and Charlotte and Nashville and we're just all over. Then we come back to the West Coast and we end to New York and Toronto. You guys don't go to our site, Girls Gotta Eat.com and get those tickets to the Snack City Tour Fall Tour. Snack City Tour Fall Tour. The shows are so wild and we do give away Vibes-only products at every single show. So your ticket might come with a free vibrator. You never know. And we always love to feature your stories. So send us any wild, crazy stories about you and the people that

you're coming with. You want to roast your friends. Your significant other you're coming with, maybe you're bringing your mom or your daughter, send that to stories at at Girls Gotta Eat.com. And at the shows, we tell stories that we don't share in the podcast, and then after some time, we retire them and we share new stories. So the stuff that we're sharing now on tour is just so good. It's so fun. It's really stuff that we just like to keep in a safe space in that room.

I had to prep my family ahead of time for these stories at the London show, because my dad, my brother and my sister-in-law came, and I was like, you're going to hear some stuff. I would like to just talk to you about that at a time. funny you have to prep them. So that being said, we are retiring the Rusty Story. Raida was going to tell you guys here on the podcast. Rusty time.

You guys, I have really gate kept this story from you. Yeah. I brought it up, but I was like, Rayna, we never told our dedicated listeners what happened. We only were sharing it at the live shows. And of course, we'll give you the back story. But we're talking about if you're a newer listener here. If you are, thank you for being here. But I really told a lot

of stories about this guy. And then we just kind of stopped talking about him because I was talking about him at the live shows. So basically what it happened is I went to this art gallery and there was this guy working there for the day. His friend who owned the gallery had gone down to an art show and this guy was just there for the day and I thought he was

so gorgeous and a little bit quiet and withholding and so sexy and I was like trying to get him to like give me his information and oh my God Azul just like plopped out on top of me. I know and I'm so sorry he is getting a bath tomorrow. He smells bad. I can always smell animal smell though. It's extra today.

Oh my God. Sorry. Actually, the fans blowing, so it's not bothering me. If you guys are watching YouTube, which he's Sheppi. He was just like with this family all week and their dogs. That was so cute. I know. So he's just, he's been playing.

He's overdue. But he gets screwed tomorrow. I can't smell him, which means I'm sick. Yeah. So anyways, I was trying to find this guy. I tried to get his information. He did not give it to me. I gave it to him, but he put it on the gallery list and put my phone number and email down

on the gallery list. And the saga continued of me just buying art from this gallery. trying to talk to the owners and find out who this guy was and how I could find him. And I think that was like the last I ever updated you guys about that I bought this art. I went back up to the gallery to buy the art. I bring him up like a third time to the owners and they completely swap my mention away. And that's it. That's the end of the story.

So I'm going to give you the rest of the story now. And I'm really excited you guys. It's weird to like not hear a bunch of applause and cheering. I know because people really want crazy for it. Yes. People went crazy for this at the live shows. And we call him Resty because I couldn't get. you guys, his real name, but that was Ashley's family's dog name. One of them, yes. So the part of the

story of me basically picking up the art finally was that on my way out the door, I don't want to bury the lead. Like, we found him. Yeah, we found him. And I went out with him. But the way that I found him was so crazy. So I went up and I picked up this final piece of art that I was buying from the gallery. And on my way out the door, there's this girl at the desk. She's so cute. And she kind of looks up at me. She works there. And she was like, what do you do? And I said, I have this podcast called Girls Gotta Eat and she was like, maybe I'll listen some time, what's it about? I tell her a little bit

about it. And then I leave. And then that's the end. That is the end of the story. I don't think I'll ever hear from these people again. And about, about, two weeks later, I forget all about the whole situation. I forget we've been talking about this for weeks. I forget that there's Instagram clips about this. And we are sitting at my house with a room full of girls. There's like eight of us here. And I get a text message from a number that I don't know.

It pops up my phone and it is the girl from the gallery. And she says, hi, it's so-and-so from this gallery. I'm driving down sunset and I'm listening to the podcast dot, dot, dot, dot. And I am losing my shit. I am just like, what does the dot dot dot mean? Immediately I'm like, this is her boyfriend. This is her boyfriend that I've been talking about the podcast every single week. And she knows him and she's like, are you fucking serious?

You told me to listen to the podcast. I'm listening to you talk to my boyfriend every week. And so, I mean, I thought it's. sounded, you could take it either way. And I was like, we only have one option here. You just have to be like, LOL, he, he, he, he. You just have to act like she's being light.

Like you have to even play dumb. If she's just like, bitch, I'm about to fuck you up. You have to be like, thanks for listening. Right. Also, what's she going to do about it? So we crowdsourced the whole room. Everybody comes to the conclusion that that's the tax that you're going to send back.

And so we're just like, thank you so much for listening. And she writes back. Well, she said I'm happy to facilitate the Rusty. I'm happy to facilitate the introduction. Yeah. And I like lose my mind. We're all screaming.

It's the best like girl moment. We are all just like losing it. I'm like, oh my God, she's going to do it. And she's like, let me know what you want me to do. Do you want me to give you his number? Do you want me to invite you both to like a situation at the gallery? You guys come to a party together. And I was like, just give him my number.

And if he wants to talk to me, he can. And so literally in 10 minutes, I get a text from him. And it says, hi, Raina, it's Rusty. But he didn't say. say Rusty. He used his name. He used his real name and I think he kind of knew, like, he should have said Rusty if he had a good sense of humor in the first place. Yeah, orange flag. Yes. We didn't love it. But again, you know, maybe he didn't, I don't know. Also, maybe she didn't tell him. Maybe she didn't tell him. Yeah, we gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe he thinks I'm just using his real name on this podcast for millions of people to hear. So I wrote back, hi, Rusty, it's Raina. And he left me on red. And that was it. No response. Let me jump in. Because awesome. also this night, if you've been following along in our lives, we were just having so much fun, like laughing about this. I mean, it was like peak girls night for this to be happening. We're all like on the edge of our seats. And that is when I was like the guy from the plane. If you guys remember, the Raya guy that was on the plane, that is the night that I sent him that ghost emoji. Because I was like, I think I'm just going to do it. Like, let's keep the momentum up.

Uh-huh. Because we were like kind of once rusty didn't respond. We're all just sitting there. Like, what next? And I was like, I was like, I think I'm going to ghost emoji this guy. And I was like, Do it! It was the highest high we ever felt. And I was just like, I have been talking about this guy and thinking about this guy. I'm pretty sure he is the love of my life for months. And he is finally in my phone. And he is going to leave me on red.

I was like, I cannot believe it's happening. And I just was so convinced that, like, I had to go out with him and, like, see this through. So the next day, I was driving around. And I was just like, I'm just going to text him and see you. So I was like, anyways, now that we got that out of the way, it's so funny that you listen to the podcast. I'm so embarrassed. and he was like, about what? And I was like, oh, God, I don't care.

I don't care what he says. I'm going to see this through. Yeah, you really did. And I'm like, okay, anyways, so what's going on? And he was like, do you want to talk on the phone? And I was like, speaking my love language. Yes, phone calls are my favorite thing. Oh my God.

He called me and we had like a 45 minute phone call and it was fine. Yeah. I mean, probably at that point you knew it wasn't a fit. and if it wasn't for this whole saga and really wanting to see this through, you probably wouldn't have gone out with him, right? You probably would have been like, this just doesn't feel like we're vibing.

Yeah, I could sort of see the writing on the wall and a totally nice, really polite person. Yeah. Just nothing in common with me. You weren't vibing. You have a very specific, not so rare, but you have a certain type of sense of humor and sarcasm and way of joking around

and you match it or you don't. I had a hard time sparking joy in him during the call. I'm always just like, what's a thing we can, like, get into that we're both really into, we can get excited about, we can share and laugh. And like, typically, I try to make that a thing about the other person. Like, I can talk about the podcast and the live shows and the sex toy company all day long, but I like to preserve a lot of that because that is the most exciting stuff that we do. But I like to just get to know somebody a little bit better.

So I'm trying to find, like, you know, do we like the same music, TV shows, travel, whatever. I just couldn't get there with this person at all. It was like doom from the start. Like if a person can't have a fun, good conversation with you, that's a them problem. With me? That's what I'm saying. You do this for a living. You're really good at it.

Like, you're the best at it. Like, if someone can't vibe with that, this isn't a fit. Yeah, I just, I didn't think that anything I said interested him. Yeah. And he just was perfectly nice and polite. And I honestly loved the fact that he asked me to talk on the phone. Totally. I was like, okay, this could be cool.

But I was like, I'm going to go see him in person because he's so hot. So, like, maybe it's not a conversational fit, but I'm going to climb that. So I'm definitely going to fuck him. Okay. You tried. She did not fucking. We did go on a date again. I did this for you guys because I was just like, let me see this room.

Not everybody gives good phone. And not everybody is great on a first date. And it's just like weird and awkward. And he's probably like, this fucking girl's serious. She met me on a Saturday in the middle of the afternoon. And she's been talking about this on the podcast for a week. money to try to meet me. She's just been like draining her bank account on art.

Right. He's probably like, she's a stalker and she's a little bit crazy, you know? So I understand his trepidation a little bit. Yeah. So we did meet up. We went to a bar and it was definitely the same thing in person. Like nothing I said made him latch. And that's pretty rare for me.

I tried everything. I tried pop culture. I tried. There was a finale of something that night. Succession. I tried succession. I tried our podcast. I tried the lowest form of human communication, which is what did you do during quarantine.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I forget what show was when we just went off about this. It's like if you were asking someone what they did three years ago, we have a problem. At the worst time in the world, like, I don't want to talk about it. It's not interesting to me. Here's the thing. I actually like at some point you do want to know that about somebody. Like, right.

I actually do. That was such a shared collective experience that you want to know what someone did during it. But yeah, for you, it was out of desperation. I don't want to result to it because I have. have to. I want that to like, yeah, of course, that is so funny. Like a first date, like, if you're getting to like, so would you do during COVID. Well, it's funny because you're, it's funny you say shared experiences. I'm like, I can't get this guy to be interested in anything I have to say. Let me pick the only thing we've ever shared. Yes. That's just COVID.

The only thing we've ever shared was a worldwide pandemic. It wasn't a match. I still love that gallery. I'm still a big fan of their art. I know. They keep doing the mailing list to you the other day. I know. Oh my God. They still text you. And I think he's, He knew it too. This is really never happened to me before. I left the date and I went home and he did not like text me to see if I got home okay. He didn't say like I had a nice time. I think it is just sort of mutual that he just like wasn't really that into it either. I mean, I don't know who wouldn't be into me. I'm amazing on a date. I give amazing date. And all we did was talk about him. So, because no one asked me any questions on the date. But I picked an awesome

place that had like great food and like a great bar and I just don't think he was into it. And then he did text me the day after that like almost 48 hours later and just said like, how was day and I just let it die. Yeah. You know what? Well, sorry to be anticlimactic. I mean, that's it. I don't think it's anti-climatic just because, like, I had no way of finding this person or contacting him. And I was really pretty sure this is who I was supposed to be with because he's so tall and bald and just hot. Well, yes, the climax of the story is in the middle when you were texting with the girl from the beginning. She's the real hero of the story. That's the best part of the story. Like, you're just like losing your goddamn mind. And then it just kind of like peters out.

It's like when someone comes not enough. Well, you know what's so funny? Like a little, you know what I mean? It's just like a tiny bit of cum. So I've taken to one of those people. Yeah. But you go to the bathroom to push it out and you're like, nothing's coming out. What's really funny is that like when I met him, I thought he was just kind of like quiet and brooding.

Like I thought that he was like, it was sexy to me. Totally. But when I got to know him better, I was like, oh, you just don't have anything to say to me. Yeah. That's so funny. You think someone's like sexy, mysterious and you're like, no, they just don't have any. Don't have any. No content.

So that's the rusty story. I felt bad I, like, left you guys hanging. And it was such a saga, and I did, like, keep trying to go back. I wonder if the owners, like, know this story. Oh, well, I know now. Send him the link. But that girl is an icon, and she is such a cool wing woman, too, because she was just like, how can I help facilitate this for you?

And just, like, offered me all the information. Also, she found my number through the gallery mailing list. Yeah. Which I love. So that's the story. Okay. we can just give a quick update on our trip. Yeah. We went to London in Paris and Dublin. We had a show in London, which was incredible. It was really hot. There was no AC in the venue and there was a heat wave in London. So I just want to address it. Thank you all who came for sweating with us and powering through. We were sweating our asses off up there too. They brought a fan up, so I felt like Beyonce for a minute. But regardless, like, I'm just saying thank you to the people that came there because it wasn't the most physically comfortable show. And you know how I am. So anyway, but we loved it. And we had the best time and that was our first time there. And we just couldn't have loved

it anymore. I mean, again, it could have been cooler. But we really had such a good time. We met some of you on stage. And I mean, I don't know what else to say. Besides, it was really so wonderful. I had a moment backstage where I was just like, I can't believe we get to do this in another country and pack out of theater here and that people all over the world listen to this. And so many people traveled from India, Germany, just Amsterdam all over. Yes. And it was. And was just, it's an honor that people would do that and plan their vacations around us. And it was just really special to be able to do it. So thank you. And of course, thank you for coming to all the shows. But to do with the UK was really cool. I mean, we've been doing the show for five plus years and that was the

first time we've been there. So we had a great time. Raining can speak about her family coming and stuff. But my cousin who lives in Amsterdam came. So it was so wonderful to see her. I mean, she's just been like, you know, we've been so close since I was born. And it was so wonderful to have her there. And she was just so emotional. I mean, she just hasn't seen a show yet. She's my family that lives in Miami, but she married a Dutch guy and she lives in Amsterdam now. So she was just like, I can't believe this is what you do. You know what I mean? Someone who like has known me since a baby, like a kid. I don't know. She's the last family member that I had. Yes. She's my, yeah, exactly. She's truly, you've met my entire family, like extended. So she was on Zoom for

Matt's wedding. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She couldn't make it to the wedding because of COVID. So I haven't seen her. I've never met her. Yeah. So that was very special. Yeah. And my dad came to the UK, our number one fan girl. My dad came to the UK. My brother lives in the UK now. to him and his wife. I got to see their home, which is really cool. They live in Marlebone, which I absolutely loved. And we just loved being in London in general. And obviously, like, just typical Ashley planned the whole trip, spent so much time researching restaurants to go to activities. And you really did plan at top to bottom. So that was really special. Thank you for doing that. So after we left London, we went to Paris. And if you guys were OG fans, one of the first

episodes we ever did, we went to Paris together. Ashley and I, we just, we didn't plan. So it's a hard city to go to when you just like don't know when anything's open. You haven't made any reservations. It's such a vast city too. So any city you have to plan in, but really that was tough having no plans then. Well, we didn't have any money and we were sharing a bed. We had some money. Like, you know, we weren't like 25. But like we hadn't made money where it was like, we're both going to stay in a nice hotel by ourselves. Like we were still like sharing hotel rooms at that point. We like shared a fucking bed in Paris. Like my suitcase barely fit in that room. You know what I mean? bad we listened to the podcast to fall asleep in the right. Like we were right by the bathroom. I mean, so people are like, we need a Paris update. Do you love Paris? It's like, yeah. Yes. I've come around to Paris. I really, really liked it. It's just truly the most beautiful city. It's so fucking romantic. That was my fourth time there. The first time being in high school, I took French. We went there. My senior year, it was so unreal. And then one time I went with Rob and a big group of my Atlanta friends. And that was so much fun. And then the third time.

you and I, which was like my least favorite time in yours too. And then this was like going back and Rob came with us too. When we took the Eurostar over from London, it was super easy and like a great experience. And yeah, I mean, it was just, it was wonderful. We had not great weather. It kind of rained our full day there. But, you know, we did some shopping, sat outside some cafes, had some really good meals. And I want to go back there just like with Sparkle Eyes. Like I feel like I've done it the other ways. And like it is so, like Paris is a city. You just walk around and feel in the air. Like you really, it makes me want to be there with a partner. I don't feel like that all the time, you know.

Like, I mean, yeah, I miss him all the time. I want to be with him. But that city specifically, I'm like, next time I come, I want it to be with somebody I'm like in love with. Yeah, I'm all set on friend trips there. Yeah, I'm good. But I'm happy I have a new relationship with it because I know that everybody loves it so much and I've really shit on it for a lot of years.

So it was nice for me to just develop new memories there. And that was really fun. And then we went to Dublin where it was cold and raining a lot of the time. But it doesn't matter. because honestly, you go to pubs and you drink there. That's the culture. It was so fun. I'm sure there's other cultural activities.

We also took hikes and a great food. But it really was just like a nice time going to pubs with you and drinking, listening to live music. It's a really small, compact place. And so you can bop around to a lot of different places. So we, like, popped in and out of a bunch of pubs every day. It just was really so fun. Yeah. The people are so nice and fucking hot.

Oh, my God. The people are so nice. But we did that day trip to health, which is like 30 minutes in a car. we just took an Uber and we did this amazing hike that is truly like kind of what I pictured Ireland to be like that gorgeous, you know, on the water and that part of it at least. But I loved it so much after being in London and Paris because London and Paris are so fucking big and take so long to get around. I mean, they're also like New York and L.A.

Like in terms of just like it's 30 minutes in a car here. It says like Dublin everywhere that we had on our list to go, we just walked with maybe like the exception of like one or two places and that was because it was raining. Like we really probably could have walked everywhere. Oh, we would. Yeah. And we had just amazing, like, breakfast and beer. We did the Guinness, the storehouse, the bar at the top, like the highest point in Dublin.

And it just had a great time. I would like recommend it to everybody. It's really just you can make it a shorter trip, you know, two or three days. You can really see a lot, cover a lot of ground, do that day trip and call it a day. But we loved it. We met some fans. And maybe one day we'll do a show back there because we do have listeners there. But we didn't squeeze it in this time, which I feel bad.

I wish we did because I bet it's like so fun to do a show there. So fun. And I really just want to say, you guys. send us so many recommendations and so many long lists of where to go, where to stay, where to eat. And I'm so honored that you guys want us to love where you're from and the places that you've been. And obviously, Ashley plans all of our trips. But so much of your wrecks come from our friends and you guys. So thank you for doing that.

It's really flattering. You want us to love the things that you've done. Yeah. Oh, and I will say, I really do feel like you bonded with sparkly more while we were gone. We're always sparkling. We did fire off. The group chat was really funny on this trip. and he did send flowers to...

We got to the green room. First of all, he sent Ashley Flowers in Ohio when you guys had first started dating and it was like very cute and sweet the moment my dad watched you, like freak out about it. It was really cute. And we walked into the green room in London

and there was just gorgeous, like unbelievable bouquet flowers. And I'm thinking that my family who is coming to my first ever UK show has sent me a good luck bouquet. because I thought it was for Ashley and then they were like, oh, no, no, no, it's for you. And I was like, oh, of course it's my family.

It literally, a congratulatory bouquet. That was the most confused. I was like, oh, those are problems. And I go, wouldn't it be so funny if Sparkleys sent me flowers? And it literally said, dear Raina, blah, blah, sparkles. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is a mistake. They made a mistake.

And you're like, your name is on it. It's not a mistake. And you were supposed to get flowers. I never got my flowers. So only I got flowers for my life. So, like, this was a thorn. No flower, pun intended. He was so upset.

I was supposed to get two dozen red roses, which I've never had two dozen red roses my whole life. No one's ever got me two dozen roses. Like, I would have loved to get them. And this place wherever you ordered them from, like probably some like flower company that sources from local florists, whatever the fuck. They send them out in two different deliveries,

which is so bizarre. They're going in the same place. And mine never came. By the time they were going to try, to get him to my hotel. We were already leaving. Like, it was just, I never got them and they refunded him, but, like, only you got your flowers. And you felt so bad. And it was so hot down there. And I could tell, like, you didn't know which thing to lean into. Like, do I sympathize with him or do I sympathize with us? Because it's very hot down here. You were like, which problem do I address right now?

Yeah. He was just super bummed. I told you, I don't, I would, I would, I would, listen, I'm a very high functioning person. I could figure it out. But, like, I don't know how to send flowers that, like, make it to a green room. Like, they have to, like, get to a box. office and come downstairs. I don't know how to do that. And those looks like $200 flowers. Yeah, he really, he is the most thoughtful person ever. I look forward to him doing that for me more often. He's, I mean, as we record, he's coming here this weekend and he's the first time in LA for like a full, full weekend. He's only been in LA twice, like one night, both times. And so have a full itinerary plan. I am seeing him. It'll be a month and it's just been so difficult.

I mean, we like... I'm trying to laugh at you doing that. Wow. What are you? What are you laughing at? I was thinking about your itinerary with him, but I was going to say something. And you go, it's been really difficult.

And I just burst out laughing. I mean, listen, like, it's fine. But, I mean, we FaceTime every night

and when I was gone. Like, it's just been, it sucks. I mean, hot take. It's the worst. It's like three weeks,

I started to get a little crazy. I'm like this and we still have one more week. Like, what were you going to laugh at? Listen, you got to get your. head straight because that's how you accidentally move in with people and then you break up. You're like, I miss him so much. Maybe I should let him live with me. I was laughing because I'm going

to see you guys on Saturday. You're going to come over for a little bit. But then you told me, so Sunday, I go to the Brantwood Farmer's Market every Sunday. It's my Sunday special plan. And I was thinking like, should I coordinate with you guys or should I just like, I was thinking like maybe I won't tell you at all and I'm just going to like blow in and out really quick. You know, I like to take that spot right in the front. There's a hundred market spots. You do park in a red spot, but you've been doing it. The reddest spot. I park in a red spot and I run in really quick as fast as possible.

So I was wondering if I should tell you I was going to be there and coordinate with you or coordinate to not be there with you. I am dying laughing, thinking about running into you at the farmer's market. So like, should we coordinate times? Or what time do you go? Whenever I'm done working out or I get up like 10.30? Okay. Yeah, we can coordinate.

Like, you don't have to see me there if you want to have your own solo experience, like too tall people at the tall people. Oh, yeah, it's the tall farmer's. market, we're going to fit right in. We'll be short there. Yeah. Not him. You'll be a little midget. The guys there are like six, seven. Monsters, yes. So we'll let you know next week if I ended up going with them.

It's like take your kid to the farmer's market. It's embarrassing. Okay. And last thing that happened, this was on the way back. We had a delay on our layover in JFK and we were sitting there next to Angela Bassett. I was like, Ashley, I think that's who that is. And you were like, there's no way she would just be sitting here.

Yeah, Angela Bassett was on our flight. She sat in front of me. But we'd been in the lounge, then we went back to the flight getting delayed. Like, we're at the gate. So we were, like, sitting at the jamba juice. Angela Bassett's sitting there. She's on.

At the jambid juice. So, but when she... Ashley is going to be like, are you... And I could see over her shoulder on her. I could see her phone. And she was just, like, scrolling through reels. But she was on a finsta.

Yeah, it was a fintz. But you were like, can I say hi? And I was like, and then we're just going to, what, sit at the jamba juice next to her. So we're sitting at the jomba juice next to... But she was with Angela Basta. Also, when Angel Basta was in the Sky Club, when we went back to the Sky Club after we realized we were even more delayed, she was in like a roped off area. What's it called?

What are those roped off? Stanchions. Stanchions. Stanchions. Stanchions. Stanchions. What's some stank. Wait, also, you guys, this is a crazy story.

So we're at the gate. Every 30 minutes, they told us to be another 30 minutes. And so they finally, like, get on the loudspeaker and start talking, but the mic's not on. And so everybody's like, the mic's not working. Is anybody you going to tell them? And out of nowhere, swooping out of the crowd was one of the cast members from S&L, Owen Yang, to tell them your mic's not on. God damn it, right.

What I say? Did you say Owen? I said Owen Yang. Oh, it's Bowen. That's what I meant. Also, you didn't even recognize him, bitch. No, I did not. The mic is off.

And I'm like, the mic's not hot. And I'm sitting there being like, his mic is off. And then I'm like, who's going to tell him? And literally Bowen Yang comes up. And I was like, there's a guy from Estenel that's a guy. telling him. And you were like, what? I was like, that guy's an Estenel. He's on the floor. I was going to tell him, Mike is off. When Ashley was like, that's who that was, I lost my mind. Like, I got on the flight, Angela Bassett is right there. Then Bowen Yang is right there. I swear I saw

tanks, but I'm unclear. Tanks, if you're listening, if anybody knows that she traveled, I think I saw her the baggage claim. That flight from New York to L.A.X, that Delta flight and then you're on Delta One. I've never not seen someone who we saw Bridget Everett once. Oh, yeah. There's always somebody I feel like I recognize. There was that couple that was hooking up. You guys, there was this couple. This is the part of the story I wanted to tell, but go off. This couple was like hooking up right at the gate check-in. And like, I thought they were saying goodbye to each other

because it was so intense for so long, just staring at each other's. I'm talking like right before the plane boards where there's 200 people standing there right in the board. Right in the middle at the front. Just making out, holding each other, staring at each other's eyes. This goes on 30 minutes? It was unreal. And then they got on the flight together.

Together. Like I was like, they're saying goodbye. They must be. I've had to say goodbye in an airport recently. I know how it is. But also I'm off to the back. Like, I'm also not making out like that. But like, if they were doing that in a more obscure place, I would understand.

I know how it is. You know how it is. Anywhere besides that. They were basically in front of the, like you said, the counter. Just going at it. It was unreal. What kind of non-self control do you have? And then they got in the fucking playing together.

Crazy. I couldn't even believe it. You couldn't have figured. at each other anywhere else. You needed an audience unreal. But anyway, what I was saying, while we were a Jamba Juice with Angela Bassett, Raina is like, I could use a smoothie. And so she goes up and I'm sitting there, whatever, and I hear them go, Ashley, order for Ashley. And I was like, did I order something? Am I having a stroke? I literally thought I ordered something. It was you. You have been using my name. You've been.

impersonating me at fast casual places. I do it at Starbucks. You have to explain. I'm like, Angela, are you hearing this? I just, listen, Raina's a hard name to pronounce. It makes me feel like weird and nervous that people aren't even going to say it

when they're like yelling it across on the room. So I'm like, what is the easiest name on earth to say, Ashley? Oh my God. No one's going to misinterpret what that name is or how to spell it. I get Ryan and Ranya. and Renee.

Like, people just, like, it's so demoralizing. And so for years, I've been saying Ashley. Whether you're with me or not. Yeah, I, do you think? I'm just hearing it for the first time. I mean, the odds that, like, somebody who's, like, a fan of the show has, like, rung me up. And I've been, like, you could put it under Ashley.

Yeah, they're like, Raina wants to be Ashley so bad. Rina also, like, I want to go back and watch it in slowbo. I hear my name and I'm like, oh, that's weird. And then as you move toward the counter to get the smoothie, I was like, uh-uh. You were never supposed to hear that. You know what you should have done.

What? Angela. Because at that point, we were unsure if it was Angela. You should have said Angela Bassett. Bassett or Greenberg? Bassett, Bassett. Bassett. Oh, my gosh.

That's so funny. The way you laughed at this the whole way down the Jepp Bridge. I couldn't believe what. I was seen. When you grab that smoothie, I was like, what? I've done this for years. Oh my God. This is like when I found out you had Napster or Rhapsody.

Rhapsody. I know. I do have a secret life. Okay. So we are talking about the apps today. Raina got a wild hair and just got on hinge and tell us what happened. So I want to say up top, if you've been following along with the podcast, I have been talking about going on dates with somebody.

And we are cool. That's not my boyfriend. So I am well within my right. So is he to go on a dating app? And I thought as a fun little exercise while we were away, I mean, we were away for 10 or 11 nights together. And I thought it would be really fun in Dublin because you and I were just solo to pick a day or two and, like, update my dating apps and the photos, the prompts, everything and start, like,

messaging people. And I think that I get really bogged down at the thought of, like, messaging people on dating up sometimes and, like, having to respond. And it feels like such a job. but when you have a drink with a friend and do it, it becomes this really fun, silly, light, easy thing. And your friends can also, first of all, not a hot take, but look at your profile and be like,

that's a little too much or that's a little too sexual or too neggy or anything. You know, I just like to have somebody else look at it and say like, this is what I see in this. And then it's just fun to do together to just like look at other people's profiles, make fun of them, listen to the voice props and message people think of funny things to do.

So it's just a funny activity with your girlfriend. It is so funny, yes. And sometimes it is better to do. to have the extra set of eyes. Like, you had a full, like, mirror selfie bikini pick. I was like, let's do a bathing suit pick, but, like, let's pick another one that's not so full frontal. Like, I hate to use the word thirsty, but, like, I think it's sending a certain message.

And I say that as, like, I don't really want to see a guy do that. You know what I mean? What it's just, like, too much body, like, naked body. Well, I think there's, like, such a science to it. And Logan Yuri, who's on the show, like, she says, like, not too many pictures of yourself drinking. try to limit the amount of like alcohol photos, photos with friends, like maybe you want to do one. But I mean, whatever, it's light, it's fun, it's easy.

But there's a bit of a science to it. And I definitely do get a certain vibe about people via their photos, of course. So we switched it up to a different bikini photo. Yeah, it was just like farther away, a little more artsy. Like it was in Cabo, so it was like something to comment on like where you were traveling at the time, things like that. So you messaged a bunch of people and that's also a fun thing to do. Like you just get that extra little bit of encouragement from your.

friend as opposed to like sitting alone your home being like, should I message, should I not? Should I speak first? All this stuff. Like, who cares? You know? So that was fun. And yeah, you're right. It is such a fun thing to do. Have a little glass of water with a friend and, you know, bounce things off of them. Yeah, I loved it. I think it's just fun to like laugh at people's profiles. You'd be like, that guy's hot and just have fun. And also, I don't like to go grocery shopping when I'm hungry. And so sometimes I can feel like be on these apps is really overwhelming, but I've been getting dick down recently, so I'm not as hungry

and I can be a little more selective. Okay. Which is nice. I love that. But I do like when you get in there, you can cast such a wide net say yes on a lot of people and then narrow it down for who you're going to message with back and forth. And one thing I was saying to you is if you put yourself out there and

take the leap to message someone, like to say a thing, like, you know, unhinged to respond to one of their prompts and they don't get back to you right away. I just want you all to keep in mind that so many people are not on these apps every day. They don't have their push notification set up. I feel like we saw someone, this feels very LA. Someone was like, I only check this once a week. You know, I'm protecting my energy, you know, but that could be someone's story. Like, someone could be so sporadic with it. Like,

don't get upset or feel rejected if you've sent a bunch of messages and haven't gotten responses. I mean, yeah, those people could have seen it. They could leave you on red, but some of it is just like people are busy. It might not be their top priority to be like in hinge reading messages responding. So I just think finding dates on this can be like a full-time job. You You know, like my friends that are like, I had a girlfriend sitting the other day. She's in a relationship now. But she was like, Raina, I went on like 100 first dates in L.A. when I first moved here.

But that is a full-time job doing that, you know? And you have to like really swipe out a lot of people and really message a lot of people. And it's not just like you get in there and it's just like an embarrassment of riches. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's good to keep in mind too. I just feel I feel like I'm in a place to do it. Like I said, like I'm not starving for attention.

I feel like I'm in a place where I can just like be a little more. picky, but I've been dating more recently, and I've been, like, with more guys recently. And I feel like, it's just lighter. I'm not, like, desperate for it, but I'm just like, I'm in the game. I'm in the mood. I'm, like, viving with dating right now. And so it makes me want to do it more. Yeah. But it's not like, these aren't desperate time, so I'm not going to say yes to everybody. But, like, I hit my stride. I can do this and it feels light and easy. I think some people are in these apps and they're just like, I hate doing this. Then don't do it. Yeah. Don't do it. If you're in a place in your life where you don't want to do it,

but I'm in a place where I'm like, I can get in there and do some of this. And because I've been dating a little bit more, it feels like less of a rejection when somebody doesn't respond to you because you're like, other people are responding to me. I don't care. I mean, if you're sitting there on an app and, you know, liking people and feeling like so fatigued and like,

I hate this, that is the energy that's coming through. I know that someone can't like read your mind behind your phone screen. But like, that's the energy that's surrounding you. So it is more beneficial to be in a best thing. her headspace around it. And we had this girlfriend who she went on this trip to Europe and she like just was kind of feeling herself on the trip and she met this guy who was just like basically a total degenerate. But he was just like totally obsessed with her like love bombing her. She was like this is not my guy. But just, you know, a crazy person, a crazy like love bomber wild party guy.

And she knew from moment one that that was not somebody that was any sort of real match. But his level of just like being like so obsessed with her and honestly just like love bombing the shit and being like, I'm in love with you since the first moment I met you. You know, she could probably tell the story a lot better. But it just kind of gave her like a confidence boost. And she said the funniest thing on our group chat. She was like, I've opened a portal. Like she just unlocked something in her that maybe she needed that sort of like confidence

boost at the time. Whatever it was, maybe she'd been in like a little bit of a rut. And she just got in the apps with like an energy of like, I'm so hot. This guy like can't get enough of me. I'm going to be on these apps and like see what's out there. And she met this guy. And now they're dating. and we met him and we are obsessed with him.

Love him so much. They have been like spending like every weekend together. And I mean, who knows what will happen. But it seems like a great fit for her. And again, we met him and he is super into her, it seems. And they just are really having a nice, easy, healthy start of a relationship. And she credits that like confidence boost from this like crazy person on this crazy trip with kind of making her be more motivated. And I think she facetimed with this guy that she met on him.

like pretty early on. And I don't know if I said they met on Hinge, but it was on Hinge. And now they're fully dating. And she was like in that right headspace, you know? That's what I was getting at. I feel confident. I feel like I've like got it going on.

It's just, it's lighter. It's easier for me. I'm not in like a negative headspace about dating. I think that's when a lot of people get on dating apps is when you're just like, there's nothing out there. I can't find anybody. And then you're just,

I don't know. I think it leads you to maybe neg people a little bit more. I just think if you go in with like a confident, light, easy attitude, that's always like when you, you fish the best. Yeah. And we asked recently on Instagram, like, what topics do you want to see us cover? And a lot of people said how to get back out there after a really tough breakup. And I wanted to address this in terms of dating apps because it seemed like a question a lot of people had.

And I think when it comes to wanting to get back out there, attempting to fire up the apps again or for the first time after like a really painful breakup or a long-term relationship that ended badly or just ended for whatever reason. I think you have to really look at it as you're not on the search to find your next partner right away. This is going to be a rebound for you. And I think you just need to look at it

as a time to build your confidence back up, get back on the horse, and go out with like a nice person, you know? Like, or just get laid, whatever it is. I really think that you should take the pressure off getting back out there after that relationship and really not think like I am searching for my next long-term relationship.

Like go out with the person that seems the nicest, the kindest, someone that's pursuing you. Like the point is just to like restore your faith in dating in the first place. You know, let someone pursue you, be obsessed with you. Even if it's just like someone that you aren't attracted to. Like I just think like to get over that hump, you just want like a decent person or on the flip side, you just need someone to dick you down if your relationship was lacking sex. Like I think of almost like find what you may have been missing in that relationship and think about what you need. Like if you're feeling like I got dumped, I'm heartbroken, I've lost so much confidence,

like find someone that maybe you don't think they're the most attractive sexist person in the world but is being really kind and nice to you and pursuing you and wanting to take you out and just enjoy that and lean into it. Or if you were in a relationship that you really didn't get a lot of sex, you weren't sexually fulfilled, find some disgusting degenerate on one of these abs to dick you down. Thank your ass and be safe. But, yeah, I just think that's when you really need to not put pressure on it. That I know it's hard to come out of a relationship and you think,

you want to be in one again, maybe or maybe not. But I think that that's the time to just completely take the pressure off and be like, this is not my next partner. Like, we had a friend that went through this really terrible breakup, really rough for a lot of different reasons. And it took so long for her to even want to go on a date. But the first person she went on a date with was somebody that I think she had matched with them on a day nap years prior. And then they hit her back up. I think they saw she was single or they were in town or whatever. And she just was like, he's just a nice guy. Like I just knew that that's what I needed to like go on a date. Like I knew I wasn't going to sleep with him. I knew I probably wasn't going to feel him like that,

but I guess you never know. But it's just like a nice person to like make you feel good about yourself for the night, you know. Yeah, it's just not that heavy. And I think it can feel really heavy because you've put all these photos up and all this information about yourself. And you're like, I just want somebody to like me. But it's just, it's light, it's fun. It's easy. Just go out there, get either dick down or get a little confidence in yourself. Yeah. And we wanted to talk about getting off the apps. Okay. I've been getting off the apps for years. Well, I just think it's like a very funny thing, like circle of life. Like you're getting on.

I'm getting off. It's like the merry ground of dating apps. You know, someone's always getting off. Someone's always getting on. And I mean, you've really so much more than me if you guys are newer here. Like I don't really complain about being single because I don't do anything to not be single. I'm not like going on dating apps. And you for the last couple years have been very intentional.

I want to find a partner. I want to find somebody that makes sense for me. And you have like really taken the steps more so than me to like to like meet more people outside of just our immediate circle. Yeah. And you've really, like, been on dating apps and, like, going out with more guys and you've met a matchmaker. And so you're much more in the culture and you've really, like, worked it and done all the things. I ended up with someone that did not meet on an app, but.

But I think to your point, it can just be a way to jumpstart your confidence. Like, yeah, the dream is to meet somebody in the wild. The dream is to not meet somebody on an app. But, like, maybe you're just like, I have not done this in so long, then, like, that's the first step. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So I'm in this relationship. The only app that I'd really been using, I mean, I used Hinge for so many years, and then I was on Raya.

And when I got in this relationship, I just let that run out. You know, I was like, I got to delete this on my phone. You know, you pay for it. I just like let the thing run out or whatever. Maybe I was like sort of active on it for a few months crossing over a Beenance relationship. But yeah, I mean, and again, Hinge, you can always pause it, which is a great feature. You know, I think that like we've talked about this before, like just because you take an app your phone does nothing. You know, you really need to go into the app and figure out what your profile

is doing out there in the world. And I can't speak for all the apps, but hinge, you know, you can pause it, which is just like your profile is being shown to anybody and you can hit unpause at any time. You know, so that's like a nice thing. So I just had this conversation recently with Sparkle Eyes. And I had never even thought of like the dating app thing. Like I knew we were super secure and he was really into me and I knew he wasn't on the apps. Like I knew that in my heart to be true. I didn't need a conversation. You know, we talked about not dating other people. really early on and so whatever like the apps were not on my mind but so something that kind of prompted the discussion the first place was someone messaged and they said that he was on hinge

and he had liked her friend basically just hey heads up it looks like Ashley's boyfriend is on hinge and I immediately was like no he's not but you know like I think it's still best to like still know you don't want to be that naive girl, God forbid, that's like, no, he's not. But I still knew. And 99.9% of me can be 100% sure that somebody isn't. And I'd still be like, all right, well, then prove it. Yeah. And so I was like, well, may as well get the receipts. So basically, it wasn't him. It was somebody that has his same name spelled differently. And it wasn't him at all. You know, and that's just what it was. But my heart dropped out for a second. I can't deny that. I mean, you're with somebody that you're in this committed relationship with. And someone's like, he liked me on a hinge. Like you immediately, it feels some type of way. And, you know, I was just like, I told him about it.

Obviously, I was laughing about it. And then we had a conversation about it. And, you know, he was like, after that first weekend in New York, I paused all these apps or deleted them. And I knew I was going to be with you. And he was like, now I just want to make sure I'm completely off of them and like delete my accounts for good. And that was just how that conversation kind of went.

And he, I go, wait, before you delete your hinge, I want to see it. Like, I was like, I really, really? I was like, I want to see it to know if I would have liked you on Hinge. And that's something that I wanted to address and like just talk about with our listeners. Like, would you like your current partner if you saw them on Hinge? Like, I think it's a funny thing. I love this. Would you have been attracted to their pictures, their prompts?

And I don't know. Yeah, it's honestly, it's a no for me most of the time. Like, I try to keep an open mind because like a lot of people in L.A. specifically, all the prompts are about like wellness and having an open heart and an open mind. and like seeking whatever the fuck. And I'm just like, okay, just go out with these people. Because even people that write that, like, I'm a friend that I've made here and he will tell you he's into all that stuff.

But he's a totally normal day-to-day person that I could totally get along with that I'm extremely attracted to. Like, just because they write a bunch of stuff that maybe gives you an ick, no one's good at this. I know. Like, I want to kind of-it. It's a right profile. Yes.

Like, I've always kind of been like, I can tell if someone's like funny or sarcastic, but not really. I can't. Here's a couple points. Yes, there's a guy that I went out with a couple times in L.A. I knew him from the wild.

I never saw his date net profile. I imagine it's corny as hell. And that guy is so hot. He's so cool. He's so wonderful. I bet if I would see his hinge prompts, I'd be like, bleh. I bet they have so many smileys.

Then I look at his body. Yeah, and he's sexy and like, he's datable. But Sparkle eyes, first of all, his lead picture, he's like, we're in this chain, which, you know, it's the whole thing. chain gate. So I, like, jokingly, I was like, I don't know, the chain pick. Like, I love

that you asked to see this. I'm dying. So I'll show it to you too. But then his prompts even, A, I think he's the most attractive person in the world. Like, of course, now, you know, and like his lead picture is not really how I view him. And he is really funny and he is really sarcastic. But he can come across a little neggy. And I felt some of prompts kind of translated that. Like, I would have been like, I don't know. I think this guy's just kind of kind of be a dick. And so I think that if he liked me, I would have liked back and then see how he opened the conversation. But I don't think I would have outright liked him been like so into him. I mean, we've talked about this.

He's going to hear this. And it's not like it's new information to him. But I just thought that was the funniest game to play. Like, if you're with somebody and you could still see their dating app, like, would you like them? I just feel like dating profiles are ick. They're just, they have to be ick. Like, I try to say the least amount of stuff in my three prompts that like would spark a conversation and be funny and cute. and light, but like people write so much, and I think it's so awful.

But I just try to like look at photos now. And I'm like, I think you're hot. I'll swipe on you. And if the conversation's great, then great. I try not to look at the prompts that much. So what I like to look at is, you know, if somebody writes that they're moderate, they're probably not for me or conservative. So I do like to look at that.

If somebody marks that they want up children, I'm not going to probably bother with them. Other than that, I'm looking for a couple lifestyle things that probably wouldn't match with me. And otherwise, I don't know, I just don't put that much stock into the prompt. I know. I like go back and forth because I'm like their friend could have told them this funny thing to write or like this hilarious sarcastic funny thing to write that doesn't match their personality. You know, then they're almost catfishing you with their personality. So I think you can tell a lot by the photos though. I think like where someone's been like the expressions are making and if they're really like someone that takes themselves too seriously. And then the voice notes are great too. We did listen to one voice note that I was like, no, that's so someone that's just takes themselves so seriously. Too many professional photos. Yeah. I don't want it. So anyway, I had this conversation that I already knew where we stood and everything, but people ask about that too.

Like, I want to know if my partner is off the apps. And I think that this is something where you always lead with curiosity and not accusation, and you can just ask. I mean, I understand the feeling of dating someone thinking that you're monogamous, committed, whatever, and then they're out there and your friends are seeing them. You know what I mean? Like, I understand that fear. And again, a lot of people don't know that you do have to delete your account or pause it or whatever to not be shown.

But I think this weighs on a lot of people. Like, is my partner still on the apps? And I think that this is kind of the same as like the what are we conversation. You know, you just never want to hit somebody in like that accusatory, like insecure way. I think you can always lead with sharing what's going on with you and how you're feeling. But it can be a little tricky because that conversation also is like kind of like the what are we? we? Absolutely. And I think that that can be wrapped up in the what are we conversation. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I don't think there's any harm. If you feel like you're in a good place with

somebody, you know, if you're really still unsure how someone feels about you, I don't love that for you. You know, like that's my one thing. You should feel like someone's sure. But if you feel like you're in that healthy good space, they're sure about you, they're showing up for you. You know, you're going to hear from them. You're not feeling that sort of anxiety and you are feeling a sense of security. Then you can just ask. Like, hey, are you still, like, on day andaps? I don't know. I just, you can be light and just, again, just be curious. I've only ever had to ask if I was, like, unsure about the relationship.

And if I'm unsure, then the answer is yes, they're definitely still on it. Like, when this happened the other day, when we got that message about Sparkle Eyes being on hand, I told one of their friend and she goes, I wouldn't tell her. This is not true. This is made up. That was not him. You're just going to ruin her day. Like, she was so sure that it was made up.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Because, like, I think that when you know, that a relationship is like solid and intentional. Yeah. It would be so insane and ludicrous for somebody to be on a dating app that's crazy. Yeah. Like I knew it.

But I was like, I don't know. I also share so much with him. And so it was just like I kind of wanted to tell him that happened in the first place because it did like throw me for a second. And he didn't even flinch. He was like, what? Well, threw me for a second. And I started to like got really upset.

And then I called you and I was like, I don't think this is true. No part of me ever thought it was true either. Neither one of us ever thought it was true. Yeah. Because that would be insane. Yeah. How stupid are you? Yeah, he was also like, I'd have to be insane.

I mean, to just like publicly cheat like that is crazy. No, I mean, I hate even like having the conversation about it because it's like obviously, but we wanted to have like the larger conversation about having these conversations. I mean, yeah, it's obviously. But again, if somebody said to me, I saw your partner on a dating app, I'd be like, absolutely. I need to see proof, even if it's the most, you know, so I'm saying like, there's nothing crazy about you being like, okay, this tiny little little.

glimmer of me wants to see. You always got to know. Well, it was that he liked that person. You know what I mean? Like, those are two different things, like, active and just being on it. He was neither. It was a different person. But I used this example really early on, but I moved to New York and I was on the apps and I saw a good guy friend of ours. And I knew he was with his girlfriend, now wife and was super happy. And I told him and he like freaked out. He was like, women are seen me on this. And I'm with my girlfriend. Like, he was so upset. Like, you know, Again, we can't stress this enough. A lot of people just don't know that your profile is still out there in the world. And you know, you've got to take care of that shit. Right.

So you've got to delete your profile. Yeah. The app. Men don't know. Women all know. I think it can be really intimidating to have that conversation with somebody. Of course, it's the what are we conversation. Yeah.

Are you still doing this? Or you still actively trying to sleep with other people? Also, there's like levels to it. I feel like the height of like we are not a couple is you are going on dating apps pursuing new people. It's not like you went to a bar and you met a new person. Like, if we're sort of in that gray area and you go out to a bar and you meet somebody, you hook up with them, you go out of them, fine.

But like, you're actively pursuing other strangers. Yes. Then you probably don't want to be with me in a serious capacity right now. Right. Yes. If you are with somebody that you're into, you typically take a break. Yeah. Not being on apps anymore doesn't necessarily mean you're my boyfriend now.

But it does mean that you've like hit the pause button for a second. You've pulled into the parking spot and you're going to see what this is about for a second. I'm not asking you to, like, be my full-term, long-term boyfriend, full-term boyfriend. Yeah. I'll think it's a pregnancy. But I would like you to stop scouring for pussy on the internet with strangers for a little bit. And especially, you know, something like Raya, like, am I ready to delete it? I don't know.

It took me a hard time to get on it. Yeah, you can't. You know, you got to keep that forever. It's like giving up your Soho House membership. They get me every year. I'm kidding. Sparkleys. I'm not on Ryan.

I'm really not. It's just like, I let it run out. But I had also wanted to talk about the matchmaker. I brought this up, but I never really gave the full rest of the story. And I really went Raina to get on this. And I want her, again, I was using this service called Talkify, and I really liked my matchmaker. I would love for you to work with her.

I think she really got me. I think she really understood me and what I was looking for. And I never spoke about this. I spoke about the first date I went on. I did go on a second date. And this was before Sparkle and I had the conversation. We were dating, but we hadn't had that conversation. and I knew I wanted to be with him,

but I also was like, this woman has been looking for a second date for me for a month and she's been putting in the hours and like, why not? I think it almost even solidified how I felt about Sparkly's even more, you know? And then we ended up having that conversation. But I had like three matches with her and I did go on a second date and she nailed it again. I mean, it was like someone that I vibed with

and had I been single would have gone out with again. Yeah. So, you know, we're talking about apps today. but I never really buttoned that conversation up. And I told her, like, I liked him, but I'm kind of seeing this other guy. We're not exclusive, but I think we are going to be. I don't really, I don't know. And she was just like, well, you know, if you're not exclusive, you can, like, still see

other people. And I just kind of like left her on red for a little bit. And then came back to her when we did have the conversation. It was like, yeah, I'm going to have to pause this whole thing. And now you can work with Raina. no. But yeah, I just wanted to say that again, that that again, like I had another really good date, but I do think it almost made me realize even more, like what I wanted and who I wanted to be with. Yeah, I think that it's important to find what you don't want to be with, you know? Like,

I think we'll talk about this in another episode, but like you and I have talked a lot about maybe what you've said that you wanted and what I've said I've wanted in a partner and you find somebody that's different and there's tradeoffs to everything, but maybe what I have in my head of what I want is not when something else is in front of me. Like I realize that. that's what I want. So sometimes it's important for me to also go out with people that are the opposite of that. Yeah, sometimes it is just important to go out with something. Maybe you're like, I want this finance guy with all this money who's just like the biggest

best CEO in his company and you go out with that person and you're like, huh, being on a day with this person, like I'm not that emotionally connected to this person. Their job is the number one thing in their life. It's all they talk about. It's all they care about. And okay, maybe I thought I wanted that, but it's not for me. Yeah. I mean, this is something that I have learned, continue to learn, and we do want to tackle on a full episode because I think it's like really important to discuss in this. It's not about, I don't know, like not knowing what you want. Like I knew what I wanted, but I was still kind of wrong. That sense makes no sense at all. But you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. It's something to keep in mind on dating apps too. The finance guy is a perfect example. You know, you're in New York. You think you want this very specific type of guy with this specific type of job. Like, you know, Do you know the personality in most of those guys?

Have you stopped to consider? You know what I mean? Like you really have to think about the type of person you want instead of some of the other things on paper. Who is in those fields? Who has pursued those type of careers? Not just fine. It's anything, just any job.

Like somebody like me. I'm not for everybody. I am somebody who is pursued an entertainment career. I want to be on stage. I want to talk about my life. I want to share a lot of things. If that is not for you, I am not your girl. Yeah.

You might think that that sounds cool and fun, but you get to know me a little better. And you're like, I don't want to be talked about on a podcast week after week. And in Instagram, Reels week after week. So, you know, you never know. Yeah. All right. Well, Raina, good luck on your journey. Thank you so much, Ashley.

On your hinge journey. It was really fun. I want to sit down and do it again sometime soon. I really had so much fun that night. We were in the hotel lobby. Just like going through my stuff. Yeah. Your pictures are beautiful.

Your prompts are so funny. What did I say my most irrational fear is? Do you want to share this? Yeah. People are going to rip you off. It's a great. It's a great line. It's the best. I didn't think you want to share it. I'm going to share it. I'm out with it. What is it? My most irrational fear? Sending a sex to a family member. Accidentally. Sorry. Accidentally, sending a sex to a family member. On purpose, different story. And we love it for a lot of reasons. Why am I speaking about your thing? I thought it was funny and edgy and playful. Also, it's not that irrational of a fear. Like, it's everybody's fear. It's a really rational fear. But it also says, I'm going to sext with you. Yes. So, you know, I think it's fun to flirt a little bit on these. things. I think that it is a fine line between being too hypersexual and bringing it up a little bit. And I

think I just, I brought it up a little bit. It's the best answer I've ever seen. Oh my God, Ashley. Because it really does open up to flirtation. Yes. But it doesn't open up to like, yo, you want to come suck my dick. Totally. You're trying to send me a sex? Yeah. Well, you could get that. That's okay. I don't mind

it. I just think it's, I just think it's perfect. I hadn't seen it and now people are going to steal it and that's fine. You guys can have it. I thought it was really cute. But you better be someone who sexts. Do not appropriate the culture. If you're, don't let your mouth write checks that your bus's not going to cash that your fingers aren't going to cash. Because if you really are not a sexter, don't be out here. Totally. You cannot appropriate my culture. Yeah. And I will sext and send you nudes like crazy. So I just want to me to know I'm like a little spicier,

but I'm also funny. I don't take myself too seriously. And you have a family. Oh, also that I'm a family because not everybody does. Okay. But it also says Like family's important to me. Yeah. Because if you didn't care about your family and you were like, fuck my family, you wouldn't care of nudes all day. All right. Well, speaking of sex, all of our new.

You're looking directly at his whole. Speaking of sex. All of our new fall toys plus the penis and vulvas safe blow gel are available at vibes only.com. We are really excited to bring this to you guys. And we have really fun stuff rolling out all through the hollings. days, but this rabbit is truly something that we are so excited for you to stick inside of you and masturbate with. And the new Raina collar, which is so fun, Barbie pink.

And we're just excited to bring this to you and spice up your sex lives and your solo pleasure time as well. Literally spice it up. Pumpkin spice it up. Pumpkin spice up your sex life. Vibes only.com. Vibes only on Instagram. And of course, tour tickets and everything Girls Got to Eat Related is going to be at

Girls Got to Eat.com. Social. Again, check that post for the giveaway. I am Ash Hess. Raina is Raina. Greenberg. And subscribe on YouTube, tell a friend,

and we will see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.