Girls Gotta Eat - Glowing Up and Growing Up with Andrew Collin

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

We have the hilarious and beloved Andrew Collin back in studio for another banger. We're talking about glowing up later in life, self-confidence, moving across the country and going through transitional (and often tough) times with your partner, and the fights you get in when you live with someone (especially about food). We're also talking about the journey from being a binge drinker to a moderate drinker and sharing crazy drunk stories from our past. Before he joins us, we catch up on Rayna meeting a guy on a plane, an accidental/embarrassing message Ashley sent to her bf, and comparing current relationships to past ones. Enjoy! Follow Andrew on Instagram @andrewtcollin and check out his podcast Puddles with Andrew and Brenna. Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/gge. Hello Fresh: Get 50% off plus free shipping at hellofresh.com/50gge and use code 50GGE. ZBiotics: Get 15% off at zbiotics.com/gge and use the code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I thought I would always be like that weird single uncle, you know, the fun uncle that like the nephews all talk shit about behind his back. I thought I would be that guy. And I still kind of am, but I just didn't see myself living with someone ever, really. Girls gotta eat. Welcome back. I'm wearing the sweatshry, you bought me. Oh my God. Actually, you've been buying a lot of stuff lately.

You've been very gifted with me. You want me to do a beach hat. You want me the sweatshirt. It says, I am Knuff. So we went to see the Barbie movie and I was like, I'm buying this one. immediately and you were buying it for me. Yes, that was like when we watched the Barbie movie, I hate that I bought you Ken merch, but it's what it is because obviously it was all about Barbie and all about the women, but that came on screen and it said Raina to me in that moment.

I leaned over to you and was like, Rayna, you would wear that. Like something about it is so you. So I had to get it. And then I go home that night. I order it. Mattel had it on their site. I'm like, good for them. I ordered it. And the next few days you're in the studio talking about you wanting to order it. And I had to be able to. like don't get it. But what size do you think you'd get if you did? You're a thoughtful gift giver. I'm not.

You know this. So I do feel like my boyfriend is rubbing off. No one gives more gifts. You've always been a thoughtful gift giver. But more frequent gifts. You think you're just being more gifting because of hands. I think stuff like that rubs off. I love to see it.

I love to see that I am reaping the benefits of Sparkleized buying you gifts. I hope he never stops. He just, he does a lot of gifts and it's like made me, you know what I mean? More gifted. Well, I feel like even he rubbed off me. He also rubs on me. But I feel like he rubbed off on me with my birthday when I like did all this gift bags. Like he just made me be a little more like thoughtful, gifty.

I love to see it. He has improved you as a person entirely. All right. But you look great. Thank you so much. I'm thrilled and I love all these gifts that I'm getting. I love to do your beach hat you bought me. You know, I love that little plaque.

What is it? Oh, the hat. Also there's a plaque. A plaque. It's a placard. At Dewee Beach Surf Shop, they have the best merch. It's been a long 10 days. We'll talk about it.

You haven't complained at all. I don't understand how. You have not stopped. I have complained nonstop. And when I take a breath, I actually just take a breath to ask her how she's not complaining. Raina said, we have to go to this event. All Raina can say about is, I am such a good friend.

And Alsh is like, I don't really look at that. I mean, this is just what you do for your friends. And I just was like, I would absolutely not. I've been away for like 10. days. I've lived 100 lives. I've been in all these cities and I don't want to do anything. And you're like that we committed to this. It's literally been on our calendar for weeks. Our friend ran the date by us before she even planned it. And you're like, I can't believe I'm going to this. I am the best friend that's ever lived. Can you believe I'm sacrificing so much

to go across town? I'm excited to ride in your car. I've not been in it in a minute. I'm going to get a massage. My car was built for you because you're like people touching you. And I discovered to wait for you to get a massage to let anybody be touching you. And before we tell you about our stupid live show tour we just got back from, let's talk about the one that's about to happen. That's also going to be spooky.

It's going to be very spooky. So we will be in Portland, then Vancouver, then Seattle, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, this week for Halloween shows, Halloween holiday weekend, dress up. Our costumes are so good. We have taken this so seriously. So seriously.

Three different costumes on three different nights. So you're not going to get any spoilers. if we're like posting Instagram stories from the night before, it's not that deep. People are like, we don't care. But I can just guess. But yeah, we're gonna, we've really gone all out. I just, it's so funny. Like the handyman and my landlord came to my house this morning to do a thing.

I have like wigs on the floor, just like crazy looking stuff. I'm like, don't worry about me. Like my suitcase still isn't unpacked. I'm like, this is how I'm living. Well, I'm really excited and you guys should dress up. A lot of people do. Last time probably half the audience said, we'll do a costume contest, things like that.

So we're really excited. There are, I think Portland and Vancouver sold out. Seattle. There's still some tickets less. So if you couldn't get those Vancouver seats, drive to Seattle, come to the show. Yes, and don't miss our shows. Like, we still have some tickets left for San Francisco and L.A. I believe there's, like, very minimal tickets left for Toronto and there's some left for New York.

San Diego's, like, close to selling out. Like, they're just unbelievable. I mean, just coming off these shows, like, we loved Charlotte, Atlanta, Nashville. And just what happens is, like, I can't even believe it. Like, what happened at the Atlanta show is, like, this is wild. Like, our DMs are just like, that was the best. night of my life. Like, Rain and I don't know what's going to happen. Like, we are just as surprised as you all are. The energy is unbelievable. Like, Ryan, our videographer, Raina's fake boyfriend.

He was like, thank you for bringing him up because I really had to talk with myself and him this morning where I was like, I'm going to depriorit him. I'm not going to talk about you this week. So I can bring up. Yes. Thank you so much. He just was like, your shows are just a live concert. He was like, that's the energy is concert energy, like so lit. Like everybody's just singing along now. We're having these like sing-alongs. I mean, they're just wild on. Every level. I love them. They were so fun. So don't miss out. We aren't going to be touring as much next year. We're going to probably do a few shows. But like these cities that we were in this year in 2023 on the Snack City tour, we most likely will not be in next year. So come now. Come now you can. But yeah, stress up for the Halloween shows. We can't wait to see you there. I can't wait to see all your costumes. I'm so excited for our costumes. Yeah. I don't really get into Halloween. It's not my thing. But I really got into it. And now I like get it. One of the costumes, I had like 10 bags and stuff come yesterday. I have like jewelry. And I'm like jewelry. And I'm, I'm like, I have like different stockings and shoes. I'm just, oh, you guys, I'm so excited. And oh, you can get those tickets at girlsgottet.com. Oh, yeah, Girls Gotta Eat.com.

And if you're coming to those shows, any shows coming up, send us roast about your friends that you're bringing, wild stories about your man, your mom, whoever it is that you're bringing. And email those to stories at Girls Gotta Eat.com. And subject line is the city you are coming to. We cannot wait. Yes. And vibes only, of course. We have our Alice in Wonderland vibrator that has been flying out the shells. People are obsessed with it. I understand why it is truly the most. versatile, fanciest, softest, most beautiful, luxurious toy that we sell. Yes. And the pumpkin spice blow gel, everyone is loving. That is also all the safe for the pumpkin spice pussy.

Sucking a lot of dick, eat a lot of pussy this fall with that. We are loving hearing about it. And the hot pink Raina is off pre-order. So you can get our number one selling toy in Barbie pink. Yes, you can. So if you want someone to suck on your clip, that is it. And I use the Allison this morning. If you guys have your eye on a rabbit toy, that's the one to get.

Yeah. It's the best penetrative toy. If you want to just get your clip buzzed and be getting penetrated at the same time, oh. Yeah. Our toys are incredible. Yeah. Like we just, we get messages all the time. Like this changed my life.

I didn't think I was capable of an orgasm and this gave me one and I like sucking dick now. And we're really proud of it. So we have new things coming that will happen in the next couple weeks. So get excited. Raina's personal favorite. She cannot shut the fuck up about it. I mean, I love the Raina. Yeah.

She has a big place in my heart because she. she's the rain up, but this new one that we're coming out with, I don't even want to leave the house anymore. And new blow gel flavors for the holiday season. So a lot of really fun stuff for you guys at vibes only.com. And then before you can get your toys, get into the app, Vibes Only app. And that has erotic audio stories, how to videos if you want to learn how to like suck a dick better and all kinds of other things. So that is our plug for Vibes Only. Thank you for your support, you guys. I will say one thing. We have a flavor that is coming out in the blow gel for the Christmas holiday season

that is more Ashley's friend. And this is a deep cut. We've talked about it before. There's a certain type of flavor that there is one type of it that's more Rana's friend and one type of it's more Ashley's friend. Well, it was more your friend

and then I tried this and I was like, I'm on board. Okay. That's what I got about the peanut blow gel too. I was like, I don't really love this flavor and I got it in blow gel form and I was like, oh, yeah,

this is my friend now. Exactly. It'll change your taste buds. Yeah, she'll change your life. So, yes, we just came back from this marathon trip that I, you know, I'm going to pat myself in the back. I can't believe I made it through.

Every day I can't believe it. I left on October 5th. Today's the 17th. We got back on the 16th. I left on the 5th. And I was in Delaware for my nephew Jay's first birthday. And time with family. Sparkleyes came.

We had just had a lovely little weekend in Dewey Beach and saw some of my friends. And then we went to New York and did all this press, did The View, did CBS mornings with Gail. I gotta tell you, like, I know that you get better at everything as you do it more, but like I used to really drive doing like television appearances and like just really spiral about it. And now it's just, it's so much fun. I was really proud of it. Like, I think that we deserve to be on the view. I don't think it's like, I can't believe we're.

I'm proud of it because I think that we deserve it. But I was really proud of how we did. And I don't know what the point of this is. I just, I don't, yeah. It's a huge milestone. Absolutely. I mean, we've crossed them all off. Like we've done Today Show, Good Morning America.

CBS mornings and The View. Now we want to move on to late night. And I just think it's nice because people are like, how could those girls be on daytime TV? And it's like, we did it. I had the most fun. I thought you did great and you looked beautiful. And I had a lot of fun.

And it just was a blast. Yes, we loved doing all that. So I wanted to read an email that we got, which just warmed our heart so much. The subject line is podcast. And she says, Hi there. I recently turned 70 and my husband died three years ago.

I am so happy that I found your podcast. I saw the two of you on The View, and I can't remember when it was that I laughed so much. Today, I listened for the first time. It was about dating apps. I'm ready to date again. It's been 40 years. To be honest, I'm horny. This line will live rent-free in my brain for the rest of my life.

We talked about making merch. To be honest. To be honest. I'm horny. She says, try it at 70. No more discos for me to go to, so I have to try something. I also like no more discos is merch. No more discos.

No more discos. And you put a little disco on it. So she's on the apps. I've never seen. so many guys holding dead fish, standing astride, very big motorcycles, and taking pictures, looking up their noses, and in front of mirrors in public restrooms. Really? I hope that I will continue to learn and laugh listening to you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so crying. I'm too fragile for this. I mean, truly what an honor that like somebody

relates to ICE who's like been through a long-term marriage and lost their partner. And I'm so honored. And then she's just like watching the view. Like she didn't know. Like that's such a special part of doing shows like that too, that it is a different demographic. Like, let me tell y'all, when we do these shows, the audiences with the live studio audiences, they look a lot different than a girl's got to eat audience. They show that it's a different crowd. They're sober. Oh, I also forgot Drew Barrymore when we were going through the roster.

Uh-huh. So I just was thinking about all the times we've done live studio audiences. And we look out, it is not the snack city sluts that we see. So it's nice that like this woman is sitting there. She's horny. She's like, I got to get back out there. us on the view. She's laughing. I'm just like picturing her laughing. It makes me like too much to handle. I feel so emotional. I feel so emotional. And I got to tell her, I had this really fun

moment with you backstage because they introduced the podcast and I didn't know a clip they were going to pull. And they pulled the clip about that guy in his boxer shorts in my house. Yeah. And he's the guy from last week that basically blew me off with the I'll let you know. And I was like a little bit mad. And then I saw this clip about him on the view. And I was like, we even, sir. We are even forever. Like that content was. so priceless. I love like standing backstage just laughing so hard with you about this. Thinking like, I'm on stage at the view. Making fun of you. Yeah. Literally. Making funny you. Yeah, we're even.

Yeah, we're even. We're good. I just, I love that this woman watched that and resonated. Gail King said something so much. She's like, you guys really laugh at each other a lot. You think each other is really funny. Yeah, we really do. Yeah, that's the secret to our relationship. That's how we keep the relationship alive. Keep the sex alive. So that was really fun. I do want to talk about our time in New York more, but then we went to Charlotte and Atlanta and Nashville and all three of those shows were so special and thank you guys for coming out. Of course, Ashley lived in Atlanta for a long time. That's really her hometown. I'll let you talk about that more. You can own that. But all three shows were just really so special and we love laughing with you guys and that's it. Just thanks for coming out.

Yeah. New York was really interesting for me. I think that sometimes I have these like huge pendulum swings when I have changes in my life and then I kind of normalized back in the middle and I really have to give myself time to like figure out how I feel because I like hated New York so much towards the end of me being there. I just was so ready to go and I came to L.A. and I like loved it here so much and I said to you like I don't even want to visit New York I don't even enjoy it you started to like hate is a rough word and I don't like to talk about New York poorly we have so much of our audience there it's my whole life hearts yes it's like so that's not it but like you just felt so differently like I went back and I still really liked it and I was like I feel like you have a visceral reaction to it

I feel like you're not feeling it in a nostalgic way at all yes I was not I didn't even want to visit I really don't know what came over me I just was not enjoying my time there I think I really assimilated to like the quiet here and the peacefulness and the weather and not being around people and I really enjoyed that. Everything I did hate about New York I found here in the opposite. I really needed that. I needed a little bit of space and time. But I don't know. We went back and I feel like I've like normalized now and I really enjoyed being there and I remember that these people are my people. And like it will always be a part of me and it is home always. And I just, I really loved being there. We saw so many friends and people really just went out of their way to spend time with us.

and it was really special. And I just, I feel like I fell back in love with it again. And I hoped I would someday. Yeah. It wasn't that long. I feel like I just pushed it away. It was because we're on the west side. And you're leaving out a very important part.

Listen, I was so hardcore, diehard, east side, East Village in New York. That's the only place I lived. And then that's the only place we stayed. We stayed at the standard East Village every time we've been back. And I was like, you know what? I think I'm done with this neighborhood. I think I've outgrown it a little bit. I think it does feel super young.

I don't want to shit on it, but it got a little grimyer. Like there is just more trash over there. It doesn't feel as nice, doesn't feel as fancy. And I was like, why don't we stay in the west side and like just do a different New York? You've never lived in the west side. You lived in Brooklyn. Then you lived in the East Village. And so we just decided to be all the way over in meatpacking.

And it was a different world over there. And this is not a hot take. We've spent so much time over there, you know, but staying over there and like waking up and being in that neighborhood, which, yeah, it's me packing. It's fucking fancy. It's fucking nice. It's like cleaner. it's nicer, you're on the water. It felt so different to me. And I was like, if I ever do

move back, I'm going to just have another version of my New York experience. And I'm going to live over here, hands down. And, you know, I think it was like a little bit of like where you are. I mean, New York is there so many different New Yorks. Like people vastly different experiences. I mean, I used to joke. I would walk. I lived on East 13th, all the way East, pretty much. Walk 13th, east to west. It changes completely. You're like, what is going on here? There's different trash pickup over here. Like, it feels like a different part. of New York and I will still love everything about the East Village that I loved about it then. You know, like the bars, the restaurants, like the energy. But I mean, I'm 40. Like it's just,

I did outgrow that neighborhood. Yeah, I think I got a little older. I was like, I have to live in the part of New York where I walked downstairs and there's 30 bars below my apartment. I need tons of people all around me at all times. And I think I just got a little older and I want a little bit more quiet. That's all, you know? So it was nice. And I ran this errand to FedEx. It took me 40 minutes, It's 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back. And I just, I really enjoyed the 40-minute errand. I liked the walk. I just liked being thick of all of it.

And it's nice to, like, fall back in love with it again because it took a little break. But, you know, if you lost, something, said it's free. Yeah. You know, things in New York can be more difficult. There's just so many more people. However, I equate that to also feeling safer. I feel safer in New York than I ever have felt here. So it's like, there are positives and negatives to everything.

But, like, you know, I was trying to do a thing. It was so crowded. I couldn't do it. You know, like, I just, like, went on this New York rant, you know, out of love, you know. and I named all these things that had like annoyed me that day, that first day. And I voice noted you. I said something about my hotel room. And then I said, I go, and this toilet, first of all, I do it, this deep type of toilet.

I said, I hate this toilet. When you take a shit, it just like doesn't go down. I've had to flush three times. I hate this type of toilet. And I'm ranting, ranting, ranching, it was a two minute. You said I had to flush three times to get my poop to go down. Why you hit the word poop? So what spurred it was that I went up to the rooftop of the hotel.

hotel and it's the most beautiful view I've ever seen, but the peloton didn't work. And I was like, this is so New York. It looks great from the outside, but then it's just, it's too crowded or it doesn't work. Or like, I go on this whole thing. And I just did this very, like, comedic rant to you for two minutes and you were like, that's some of your best work. And I was like, actually, can you save that in a voice memo and send it back to me? Because I want to send it to Sparkle Eyes. Like, I just think he'd think it was really funny. And like, I just was like on fire, you know, on the thing. It was great. So I sent it back to him. And he was just like, ha ha, that was so funny. Like, you're on fire, this and that, whatever. But he knows, like, deep down.

of New York, right? I was just ranting. And we're on, later that night, we're on the phone. And he goes, yeah, so the three flushes to get your poop down, huh? I died inside. I died inside. I forgot that I said that. I started, like, laughing so on, I was crying. And I was like, I couldn't breathe. I was like, I forgot. I said that. Like, I forgot that was in there. I would have never sent that. I just don't mean, are you a poop couple? I mean, not to, like, we've been talking. We wouldn't say that to him. We've been talking more about it, but no, I would not say, babe, I had to three flushes to get this down. The way you said to get this poop down, I can't get out of my head.

The way you hit the word poop. And it's so visual. I just need to explain this. It wasn't because it was like the giantess load. It's when it's that deep toilet. If you know, you know. First of all, when you- I still don't know.

When you did. I took a lot of poops in every time. So this is this kind of toilet that it's like so deep. There's only a little bit of water. It's probably better for the environment. don't at me. There's a little bit of water in the bottom. So when you shit, it goes on the side.

It sits there. Raina, you know what I'm talking about. Don't gaslight me. We've talked about this before. Yes, you find these toilet in Europe where your poop gets all over them because it's not full of water. So it's like flushing and flush. I'm like, I don't have a toilet brush. I'm in a hotel.

So anyway, it was more of like getting it all down. This is too graphic. But when he reminded me that I said that, I felt the reaction to my body. Like, oh, no, I felt hot. It's just so funny. because you said it so confidently to me. Like, you never, ever would have said that to him. Like, this is so clearly meant for me.

It's so funny. Yeah, I've always said this. I'm not a big, like, talk about poops, fart on each other kind of thing. But, like, yeah, it's coming out more and more. I mean, it's a bodily function. Like, we do everything else bodily function related. So, like, next day, I was like, am I allowed to text him and tell him that I poop? And I got it down with one flush.

And you're like, yeah, he loves for that. Please send it to him to him. He loves the group. But I didn't want to do that without asking you. Yeah. And there's one other thing that happened, like, in relation to him that I just wanted to share. I just as like, even like a broader topic where we were in Delaware and like we had a really wonderful weekend. And it was like Sunday that we were leaving and we were on the beach in the

morning with Azul. And I just had this like, I'm so happy in this relationship and I feel so secure. And like I just was like, if this would have been my previous ex who I was like in a serious relationship with and who we'd been to Dewey multiple times as well. Like Sunday after a weekend would have been like we would have had some huge fight. I'd be like on the beach with him thinking like things are good now, but like when's the next fight? This weekend was tainted by dramas at some point. We never went to doing, didn't have a fight.

You know, we didn't do anything without having a fight. It was just a volatile relationship. I think it was more him than me because I don't have fights and conflict like that with people in my life. But I didn't help the situation. You know, I was super triggered by him and it was vice versa. So I don't want to say that I like dated this terrible person that like fought with me all the time. But we fought all the time. And vacations, you know, we're always something. And so it's just like this was so different in the past. And I just say that to say that you don't have to be in those type of relationships. You know, like that was not who I was. It brought out that side of me. Obviously, I played a part in it, you know, and I didn't handle things as well with him as I would. And, you know, my friendships, my family relationships and now this relationship. But it just felt so nice to be like the weekend. has been perfect. Nothing has tarnished it, like some fight. Like we can still look back on it and be

like, this was perfect. Like I love this relationship. We don't have any conflict. I'm sure that we will, but we just don't fight. And I'm someone who did fight in a previous relationship. Obviously, my other relationship was prior to the podcast. I think I have so much more information. But whatever it is, I think we're a good match. And we just really love and respect each other. And we communicate a lot. And I think maybe one thing in this last five months, like I did one thing that annoyed him once. He did one thing that annoyed me once. And it was talked about and over immediately. Like, we have not had a real fight. And it feels really nice. And I know that like if or when we do, we'll be able to work it out and communicate through it. But I think you always compare maybe

your current relationship to your last one and think about your own personal growth and what you want and a partner and the people that can give that to you and the type of people that they are. And it was just like a real moment for me where I was like, God, this is so different than the last one. I'm happy for you. and I think that it does speak to, of course, your own growth. Yes, absolutely. And you learning how to be less reactive, I guess. But I think about what Esther Perel said on our show all the time about this, like, figure eight and how like you're just reacting to me and I'm reacting to you.

And we can appear as different people in every single relationship because like that last person might have ignited things in you and you united things in him. Yeah, we did. Like, I think that just because you were a certain person in the last relationship doesn't mean that you have to be that person in the next one. and it doesn't mean the next person is going to do that to you. But it's so interesting to me because the stuff that you've described to me is not, I would say, fair or normal the fights.

Like towards you, but even though you know it's not normal and you know it was maybe like a little too much fighting or a little too much yelling and swearing at each other, you still are like, maybe this is going to happen the next relationship. Even though that's not a quote-unquote normal thing to have happened, you're like, but maybe it is normal for me. Maybe it is me. Yeah.

Yeah. And I just think it proves that like it doesn't have to be like that. I know. I love that you said that. Like, yes, he and I were that perfect figure eight of like just volatility back and forth. And it's almost like this relationship is figure eight of just like loving and respecting each other and communicating. And just like, you give this to me. I give this to you.

But yeah, I've told you that before. Like when I got in this relationship, I'm like, you know, what if? You know, like I have all these tools. I don't feel as reactive as I used to. I don't have conflict with family friends, anybody in my life. Or if I do, I'm able to resolve it. Obviously, you and I've had conflict. But this is not something that is really a prevalent theme of my life.

But like, what if that's the kind of girlfriend I am? You know, like, it just is in your head of like, but maybe I'm different in a romantic relationship. And then it's so nice to be like, no, this is, no, this is great. That's who that was and this is who I am now. And I think maybe some people bring out the worst you. We also just grow up and go to therapy and become less reactive to things. And I've even seen your current partner change in terms of like how open he is and

comfortable. And I think you've changed him also to be a little more like open and silly and fun. And like I've seen growth in him. And I don't know what's nice. It's not fair that you would go home and think maybe this is going to happen. It's not fair to you. You have that past experience where you're like, maybe this person's going to start a fight with me and ruin everything.

Like, no one deserves that. It shouldn't be in your head. It would never cross my mind because I mean, I had tons of other problems. But it would never cross my mind that somebody was going to do that to me. So how unfair is it that you have carried that with you for so long? That like somebody might ruin this for me. Yeah. It's weird if you know, you're listening and you've ever been that type of relationship

where you're always walking on eggshells or you're always like, when's the next fight going to be? Like, it really shouldn't feel like that. It's just, it's not a healthy relationship. And again, like, none of us are perfect. We all have stuff to work on. And I understand people have different upbringings and what feels normal and what feels secure to them is vastly different from person to person.

But who wants that? It doesn't feel good. No. And just because you were like that in one does not mean it has to ever be like that. Again, I was like that. My first boyfriend after college, I mean, the psychotic level of craziness was like a 15 out of 10. The amount of like screaming and accusations and just drinking and volatility, it was

outrageous. I would be having these like out of body. experienced. You're looking down to myself being like, what are you doing? Yeah. And I've never been like that ever again. I know. It can just be somebody bringing it out of you.

You always say, like, you know, I would hear things about your last relationship, for example. And I was just like, that's just not how I experience you, you know? And I know that the things that were happening in that relationship, this is not making this guy out to be a bad person was because of him. You know, like, when you talk about nitpicking or this or that, it's just like the right type of person for you, I don't think we'll bring that out of you at all. like won't drive you to kind of be that type of person.

Yeah. So I just don't think that would happen. And I think that like we were this figure eight where like he probably didn't feel good enough for me. And so he would falter. And I would seize upon those things where he probably would have felt a little more empowered by a different person and more confident in a relationship with a different person and like I fucking got this.

Whereas like when someone expects you to fail it almost becomes this like self-fulfilling prophecy where I was just like, you're not going to do this right? And then he didn't. And then I'd get mad about it. Yeah. And so we were like a. bad, you know, figure. I keep calling a figure. That's how it feels. We weren't good for each other.

Yeah. Even though he was a wonderful person. So I'm happy and I feel sad that you've carried that with you for so long, thinking that like at the end of something wonderful that somebody could do something terrible to you to ruin it. Well, I love the discussion. That's it. Thank you for coming to shows this week. They were wild as hell. They're going to be great this coming week. I'm really excited. I think that's it. We'll do some pop culture stuff another time. Okay. I'm reading a court of thorns and roses. A lot of you have DMed about it. You're very excited. I'm really enjoying it. Raina's a little fairy book. Yeah, it's my little fairy book.

It's a dystopian society. If you like The Hunger Games and Harry Potter, this book is for you. It's the Hunger Games, basically. Okay. Oh, did you want to talk with a playing guy? It's not important. I mean, it was important to me. I'm going to look right in the camera. I would like to tell it from my point of view. Okay. That we flew home yesterday and Raina talked to the hot guy city next to her for four hours straight. Which? I've never seen it.

Isn't that movie on Netflix? I haven't watched it yet. They, like, fall in love on the plane. I mean, it was crazy. I was just, like, texting with people like, you guys, this is crazy. Every couple minutes, Ashley would turn around. I'd see her filming it and taking photos. And I was like, do not acknowledge this.

I did not film it. I took one photo. Because he was on a sports team and we were trying to place him. But you were supposed to sit in front of me. Yes. Last minute, I changed my seat that morning because you pick on me when I'm in front of you. Tell you to shut your window shade and be an adult. I was in 3A, which is my seat, and Raina was going to be in 2A, and I was like, I love this.

I'm going to be over your shoulder, just talking my shit, tapping you, because I will just tap you. Yeah, and I'm like, sometimes I like to pretend I'm asleep and not talk to people, and you're like, bitch, I can see you're not asleep. So you changed your seat that morning. And I mean, I saw that guy boarding and, you know, he was big and good looking. And Rainie, you went a four and a half hour date. Well, he's a professional athlete, so I wanted to. Listen, he did a thing that is my worst nightmare in the world unless you are a six foot two professional athlete.

And that is, I sat down, I buckled my seatbelt, and he looked at me and goes, do you live in Nashville or in L.A.? And I was like, I cannot believe I'm stuck here for the next four hours of this person. And then I looked him up and down and I was like, oh, we could do this. 100%. Like, it is my dream, not now because I'm not single,

but it was my dream to have somebody hot start talking to me. That's everybody wants that. Everybody's dream. I was literally the whole time I was like, it's happening. It's really happening. It's the dream. It's October. Yeah. Yes, that too. I was texting people. Me and Taylor. You and Taylor. Oh my God. He told me he knew Travis Kelsey and I was like, this is either the easiest line to get girls or this is true. That is so funny. I respect it either way. Yeah. Well, what do you want to say about it?

It was too much talking. There is no convenient way to stop talking to somebody after like an hour and a half. You can't just be like, I'm going to talk into this. It's a little fairy book now. If you could stop talking to me. That's what I was saying. How do you take a break? You're like, I'm going to just turn away from you and sit next to you. I've never been more exhausted in my life.

All we did for a hundred straight days was talk. We did all these live shows. Every morning we just like, do the show, stay up all night, drink, go to sleep, go to the airport, check into the hotel, do a show. I did not want to talk to anybody. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it either. And then he did ask me for like a recommendation for a restaurant in Venice.

I could tell he was like trying to give me to go with him. And I just like didn't want to. And then. It's fine, but yeah, like, well, then he kind of had, like, a little bit of a red flag. He didn't get your bag down. Yeah, it was a little strange. Or mine. And I told him your name.

He should have got my bag down. He told me something really... It's a nice gesture. He said something really funny to me. I've done to have to have you. What? Tell me. Stop.

What? Rina. What? Were you making fun of me sleeping? No, it doesn't even how to do with us. I forget why this started. He's a professional athlete. I understand.

that he plays in front of tens of thousands of people. I was telling about the podcast and this performing. We were talking about like comedy. And I had said that we're like comedians. And then I asked him like what podcast he liked. And I mentioned Andrew Huberman was on our show and that we performed some big venues. I forget.

I never opened with like the show is really big. We've had a hundred million downloads we've performed all over the world. I would never say any of those things to a person. Yeah. But he started giving me this like motivational speech. And he's like, you know, you just got to like put your head down and keep at it. And, you know, in the beginning, you're performing for like 150 people.

And before you know it, it'll be like 300 people. And I was like, I'm going to stop you right there. He did not say that. I wish I would have heard that. I wish I would have heard it. I could kind of hear you guys at some point. If I would have heard that, I get it. That's solid advice.

We did start with 300 and then we got to $4,000. Well, so he was talking. So the beginning of the advice was great because he was talking about that it's a privilege to feel nervous to do things. And he's like, it's an honor that you've worked your way up to do things. that you are so nervous to do. That anxiety is, it's a privilege you've worked towards that. He was talking about his own self. It was a cute little, like, I'm an athlete motivational speech.

It was adorable. But he, like, turned it on me. And when he was like, so, you know, it might be 150 people now. And before you know it, it'll be 300 people. And I was like, I preferred for 4,000 people the other day. Like, I never would say to somebody like, we're really successful. Or, like, the podcast is really big. Or I was on The View last week.

Like, I would never say those things to a person. But, like, he forced me to do it. Yeah. He made me do it. I don't want to like sound so cocky here, but that's not accurate. Well, I didn't need your little motivational speech. And it was a little presumptuous that you thought that I did. Yeah, I know.

Also, I wasn't sitting next to Derek Jeter. Who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like this? Yeah, you're a relief pitcher. The hell I'm fired up. And he didn't get our bags down. He didn't get our bags down. He's whatever. He's second string.

Literally like if Peyton Manning was sitting next to me on a plane and he was like just stick with it. kid and before you know you could be doing commercials too i'd be like thank you paint manning yeah i don't need advice from the relief pitcher who's not even on the current roster anyway so but he kind of was like feeling you out to have dinner that night and you politely declined because you were like had nothing left and that's really it he jumped off the plane didn't offer to get your bag down he asked for my number so we'll see but you could do have each other's contact info it's just it really made me laugh i forgot to tell you this when he said you might be at 150 people now and before you know it i was like do you know

Like, yeah. Raina did this thing. This is the first time she did. I was like, I'm going to do that too. Like where someone's talking, you're like, bo, pop, pop,

pop, but pop, but pop, but, it's funny that we do a dinner because I'm like, bupup, but pop,

but, no, you do a little different. No, I know the normal way. You're not on your own. But I like to be like, but,

but, but I'm going to stop you right there. But, but, but it's so condescending and funny. Anyways, that's a funny anecdote for you guys. I'm in a very hot guy on the plane.

Listen, I will take all the shit talk back if he calls me and he, this is my October guy. Okay. Well, I hope he does. Just, you know, nothing else for the story. But yes, it's everybody's dream to meet someone on a plane and talk the entire flight. I mean, Raina, I could hear you giggling. He was very hot and nice and fun and, like, cool. And I really just.

That's chivalrous. No. And totally delusional about our career. Totally delusional. And not first string. But tall and an athlete. So I'm into it. Yeah.

No, it's fine. Okay. And now let's get into with our guests. Yes. Okay, guys, we are so excited to welcome back. One of the most recurringest guests in podcast history and Girls Got to Eat, but he hasn't been on in a while. So if you guys are newer fans, we're going to reintroduce you to, I guess you can't be reintroduced.

We're going to introduce you for the first time. This is chaotic. Andrew, we, let me introduce him. He was a New York City comedian. Now he's an L.A. comedian. His podcast Puddles is relaunching for the sixth time. Please welcome back to the show. Andrew Collin.

It's weird. When you hear my credits, no one's impressed. This guy's been on the show a lot sometimes. Maybe. I don't really know. You recorded at all of our studios. Yeah. The original studio we had, Ashley's apartment, the upstairs apartment on Zoom.

Well, Andrew is an incredible stand-up. He was, what, a writer for F-Boy Island. Yeah, yes. The original on HBO. He has done a ton. He's traveled with us. He's been on our shows. Nikki Glazer, Heather McMahon, Hannah Bader.

I mean, you work with everybody. Yeah. Yeah, F-Boy was fun. Just making fun of fuck boys. Yeah, the show's great. There's 40 of them, and they're all hot as shit. Like, they glisten, they all have nine packs, and they all say at the end of the day. That's whatever, yeah.

At the end of the day, I'll die for you. At the end of the day, and the girl's like, I've known you for four minutes. And he's like, yeah, but at the end of the day, that's all it. And they talk with their hands a lot. Could you tell which ones are fuckboy? Because the whole thing is you guys don't know, right? F-boy Island, like there's 50% of them are nice guys, self-proclaimed 50% are fuck boys. Did you know which were which?

Well, I think 50% are fuck boys and 50% are lying. They're all fuck boys. I feel like honestly a good guy is more of a fuck boy because he's not being honest. A guy that is a self-proclaimed nice guy. Look out, run. A man that says the futurist female on his shirt, run. They're at the March. in Brooklyn just crusading for everybody.

I'm talking about a specific person. Yeah, yeah. Who's this, John? He is very multiple of my friends' lives. When men go too hard in feminism, it's like, listen, I do want you to support us, but there is a line where it's a little suss. It's when you, like, eat a vagina too long.

It's like, you're going too hard with my vagina. Yeah. It becomes performative a little bit. It's like, why don't you just be nice to your girlfriend? Start at home. Well, I think that's also a nicky bit of a guy that likes to eat pussy too much. Oh, too much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you might. Did you help with that one? I mean. It seems like you had some, you had a hand in that bit. I remember, like in high school, before I ever ate a vagina, I told every girl that I would do it for days. Like, that was like, and I just remember just being like in religion class telling a girl like, I'll do it for that. All I hear when a guy says that is that they're bad at it.

If you were doing it more than six minutes and I have not come, I think you're bad at it. Like, how long does it take you start to finish to like finish? It's hard to finish to finish. It's hard to finish. I'm not into the oral as much as I used to be. Like finishing from oral sex, it's been like kind of a while. I'm going sex or finger stuff these days.

I love oral sex, but it's not how I'm finishing. I think people are really surprised because it's not for me, but it is one of the reasons because I come too fast from it. What? You know what this about me all these years?

And then you want to quit? Yeah, I get off. I get off, I get off really quick from it. And like, I just don't really want to have sex after that. I'm done here. We're done here. Interesting. So I don't really need it.

Also, I get bored. I don't like it. If it's bad, it's really bad. And if it's good, I come too quick. One time I told a girl on a cruise, she was on her period. And I told her I'd eat around it. And that was like. Like, eat around the blood or eat around the tampon.

Like it's no, but answer it. I know. It's a plate and there's something on it that you don't like, but you'll just eat around it. Wait, what's it called when you don't let your food touch? Is that kosher? Is that it? No. for Jewish people.

I thought I would just... I'm like, you know, kosher is. No. You know, you know. It is weird. Jewish people, they have to have, like, salad on one part of the plate. Can't touch the meat. I'm fucking with you.

Are you being sarcastic? Yes, I'm fucking with you. I thought stuff couldn't touch. You can't have milk and meat on the same plate. Meat and cheat. You can't have a cheese burger. Yes, there was a charcutory board. There was one.

There was one time. You can't have tampon and vagina. You got to have one or the other. One time you. you had that Jewish holiday celebration in your house and then I took a picture of my plate and I was like, am I going to get dragged for this? You think that we just eat out of like TV dinner trays?

Right. Stop! There is. I know there's rules about this. Be honest. You'd be honest. Yeah, you'd be honest, Ashley. Isn't there stuff that can't touch?

Yeah, milk and meat. You can't have it on the same plate. Dairy and meat. Dairy and meat. Okay. You can be on the same plate. Like you have a whole separate set of dishes for it. So,

shakritory is anti-Semitic. It is highly. So you can't have pork. Well, you can't have pork. And, and you can't have meat touch. No shrimp, no lobster. So, like, a lobster charcutory board is the height of you can't have this.

Okay. Yeah, lobster on a cheeseburger. But also, this is for people that are kosher. Yeah, and I'm not kosher. Yeah, me either. My grandfather was kosher. Okay. Also, Tessa, if you feel like you want to listen and be involved, you can save that until we're

done. It's up to you. Great. That is hysterical. Tessa, I thought you were like, Tessa, if you want to be part of the charcuttery conversation, you could come on over. Tessa, I don't want you to feel left out. If you want to talk about being kosher, Tessa, for Jews.

Well, because I have her doing this thing, but it is Andrew Collin, which is the first episode that people were like, I wrecked my car. I had to pull over. I had to pull over. And, you know, we can do a little bit of history to this, which was that our very first episode. This is 2018. It was one of our first guests, like early on. And I met Andrew and I knew he walked dogs. So I was like, Ray and I met this guy. We should have him come on and do a pet episode. Like, how do you do with pets in a relationship? Like, you know, all this stuff about pets in regards to dating. And Andrew was like, yeah, sure, I'll talk about that. he he and then he came on and just we talked about threesomes and like yeah the funniest stuff right as pet salmon so here's the thing in the first episode that you were on i was like hitting salmon hard okay i was going to buffets i was bringing them to the studio i was filling the studio with the smell of salmon it's all i ate it's all i ordered i like salmon but no one likes salmon more than ashley it is astonishing she is just roaming the streets flavor bagels and locks that's how i'm support us. She got a salmon taco the other day. It was insane. We were in Texas. And she ordered a salmon

taco. We're at a hotel the other day. She ordered a Caesar salad. I got 19 updates about the fact that the salmon hadn't come up with the Caesar salad. I don't know what's been going on. I was in Soho House the other day and I ordered a salad and I did not order salmon on it and they could just sense she was near me and they put salmon on it and sent it up. Yes. I get it. I mean, Sam, if, If you're not getting chicken, you get salmon. You don't get another fish. There's no other, what is the other fish that you would get? Right.

Name another fish. Well, that normally on a menu, name another fish. That you would get instead of salmon. Halibut. Oh, halibut is roaming around all these. I get what you're saying. You have a pet halibut growing up. As a topper, it is the fish.

Salmon is the primary thing, though. Like, you're just like, can I get a salmon board at every place we go to? I've been on a salmon kick. I don't know what's been going on. It's like you're really about that salmon life. And I've really roasted salmon five, but you're, all about like smoked salmon and locks. Any kind of salmon.

When you got that salmon taco, Ashley. Do you know how funny that was? I didn't even know they made that. I didn't even know. Salmon burgers. Salmon burger. I didn't know salmon tacos existed. I don't know you could do that. Salmon burger, salmon taco, smokes. What are we? Four's gump? That's what I'm saying.

It's giving the, yeah. I hate when people do this though and they go, oh, you're eating a lot of salmon. That means you're low on vitamin C. Or yeah, you're low on your mega. Like, how the fuck do you know? Maybe I am. I've been losing my hair. Have you? All right, eat more salmon.

Yeah, double up on the salmon. Now, you've been on the salmon game for a while. But it's funny because when this relationship started, that's all you ate. You were filling studios with its smell. And now it's... To the ceiling. Yeah.

So anyway, we have this hysterical episode with you. You've been on since. And you have glowed up extremely. I would say that the three of us are the top of the glowing up later in life people in media. Well, we couldn't go down. We couldn't go down. I'm going to have Anna put the picture on the screen right now

of the three of us in 2018, and you guys decide for yourself. Like all three of us have glowed up a lot. Those photos in that studio were so bad of how ugly I looked. I just had like broken, terrible hair. I had my old teeth. And my old nose. Just a totally different face.

Listen, and I was as confident as they came back then. I was just as beautiful as Taylor. But today I'm a little more beautiful. I also discovered how to your eyebrows. Yeah, you learn a lot. So how do you feel about your glow up? Like what prompted it? Like, was it just over time?

and made more money, all this stuff. I think all of the above. But I go through, now I'm in a very good time of my glow up, but I glow down every other month. I, you know, I'll listen to a David Goggins. I'll listen to one motivational thing and I'll go, you know what? I'm not a loser anymore. I'm not a lazy piece of shit.

I'm going to better my life. I'm going to have a six-back. I'm going to run a marathon. And then I do that for like a month and a half. Like I get to this and then it all falls apart. I have one cheeseburger on the road. And next thing I know, you know, I'm like, oh, you know, it's fine. I'm good.

And then I slowly, completely fall apart. But not back to your original. Not back to the original, but close. Like, I thought I was going to run a marathon. And then I started doing that. And I was like, okay, a half marathon, I think I should do. And then I was like, I'll do a 5K. And I'll do a fast one mile.

And then I'll walk on an, you know, I'm just going to walk on an incline. Like, that's where I went. And like, and so I'm walking. walking fast. And then I think about all the losers I know that have run marathons. And I'm like, why can't I run a marathon? Uh-huh. And then they brag.

They always do it for a charity. Yeah. And they're like, oh my God, whatever. And I'm like, I'll do it for rent and sushi. Like my fast smile, I'll just take cash. Because these people, they always brag about it and people make a big deal of it. Uh-huh. Like, oh, my God, you ran a marathon.

And it's always the first one. By the second marathon, no one wants to hear it anymore. No one cares because people are pretending to care the first time. Right. Okay. And it's the same thing with marriages. People care the first wedding. The first marriage.

They'll give you like a $10,000 gift. They'll fly to wherever the second wedding. I'm not buying a second wedding. No. I'm vemowing you. Especially if you pick a destination. Oh, get over yourself.

Are people really asking for them? Yeah. Second wedding gifts. Second wedding. I would specifically say do not get a gift. Like, no offense to all of you had second wedding. I'm not going to refund you for the first one,

but I'm certainly not going to request a second one. Totally. You're not getting a refund. Like, you're not getting that question. I'm not getting that. I'm not getting that. I'm not getting another groomsman suit that's like tan that I'll never wear again. Absolutely not.

For fucking $600 for your second wedding. Okay, well, let me ask you guys this. What if it's someone, the other person's first? See, it's dicey because it usually is one person's first. If it's two people's second wedding and they register. Listen, if it's one person's first, you've gotten off on a technicality. I would probably get you a gift. Only if it's the woman.

Only if it's the woman. If it's the man, I'm not rewarding your bad behavior. for just not being married until your 45. And you just got to get pussy, just free reign all these years? No, it's fired at Andrew. Unless. Are you 45? Huh?

No, I'm 43. Yeah, he's way younger than that. Way younger. You really got hot. I was a little uncomfortable today at the house. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Your hair too, yeah, everything's just really proper.

Yeah, I'm really figuring things out. Yeah. I'm wearing a James purse shirt or something. Wow. Isn't that something? That's crazy. That's crazy. So you got a girlfriend's last year and we love her very much.

She's wonderful. Can I say her name? Yeah, of course. Brenna, she's great and you're going to do the podcast with her. Do you feel like she has helped you to dress better? Yes, everything. Like, dude, you knew me when I was. Wouldn't have slept with you then? No, I wouldn't slap.

I didn't even jerk off. I hated myself so much. Well, because you couldn't come, right? Well, I tried. Yeah, it was exhausting. Well, that was the meds. I blamed the meds. I think it was just old age.

I would talk about that, too. Okay, let's talk about that. But, like, I was single. I barely had sheets ever on my bed. My bed was on the floor. I had no cup. I had bowls. I remember I hooked up with a girl

and I brought her a bowl of water. It's kidding Izzy, but worse. She goes, I'm not a fucking dog. I remember she said, I'm not a dog. She said to lap it up. I was in New York. Everything was takeout. Like, who needs cups?

It's literally the one thing you do need. Like, you actually probably don't need bowls. You actually, the cups is more. That's a good point. Did you have just like a now gene? I figured a bowl covered everything, you know? It was like the spork of plates, the bowl. Anyhow.

Andrews had like one frisbee. That was like his cup. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So yes. I remember Brenna was just telling me the first time we ever hooked up. I was like, why didn't you sleep over?

She would leave at two in the morning. And I thought it was a way to play like hard to get. And it did work. Like I was like, this girl instead of wanting to sleep over in my, you know, uh, shitty room, she like risked getting murdered in St. Louis, you know? Yeah. And I was, but it made me into it because it made me want her more. Because I was like, why does she want to sleep over?

Why didn't she want to cuddle with me? What is it? Do I smell like salmon? Does Ashley want to eat it? And then I was like, I don't know. And then she told me, she's like, no, I didn't want to sleep over. You had carrots under your bed. And I was like, what do you mean?

She's like, you would just have random carrots and food under your bed. It was disgusting. She was like kind of turned off. She couldn't sleep well. And I was like, I thought it was like a whole like playing hard to get. Carrots. Why? Yeah.

What's wrong with you that you can't take the food to the kitchen? It's far. You know, I don't know. I'm very late, but I've gotten better. Again, I'm wearing James Purse now. I have cups. I don't eat in bed. Or if I do, I bring it back to the kitchen.

Okay. You know, I don't know. I think I've grown up a lot in the last, I think it happens to be her as well as myself. I'm just tired of like seeing myself as like, the more I saw myself as a piece of shit, I treated myself like a piece of shit. Okay. That's a good analogy. Yeah, absolutely. And you were, you're not a meds now.

I'm not. I was on Zolaw for a while. I couldn't have an orgasm unless I did it to myself. But that's great. You're like off it. I'm off it, but I do get sad. Okay. But you're hot now.

So it doesn't matter. And you're coming. But there's nothing worse than coming with a frown on your face. That is so sad. There is a morning with me and Sparkleyes. That's my, we call my boyfriend on the podcast just so you know. Yeah.

And we were just like sad to like part ways. Like we were going to see each other for a while. And so we'd like start having sex. And like we just couldn't. We both were like, are you too sad? So it turned to this like, too sad to come. Like, we were just like, that's the name of our memoir, too sad to come. Like, we literally were trying to get into it.

And I was like, I feel sad. He was like, me too. We just stopped. It was like too sad to come. It's really sad and funny. I know. It's hard to do anything physical while sad. Like, if you try to work out while sad, like, it's just, you don't want to move.

It's weird because the things that, like, will make you feel better is what you're paralyzed from doing. And it's like this terrible cycle, you know? Because like to work out and to like exercise and to eat foods that are like a good thing for your body, that is what will help you. But you want to do the opposite to like nest and feel better. Yeah. And I think, yeah, I'm at the point where like I do exercise probably because if I just took the Zoloff, sometimes I think I just felt good just from the medicine. But sometimes when you get off it, for me at least is like, oh, I got to do the work to stop my brain from overthinking.

Like that's what kills me is like I just, I get one thought. and then that thought leads to do another thought, and I just can't stop. But working out stops that. I do it mostly for mental. You don't drink that much. And I don't drink, really. I started again, I took off for four years.

And then my girlfriend drinks. And then, I don't know, a little glass of wine here and there, a few shots of tequila, a little blow. And then... Wait, I want to really talk about this. Because you fully quit drinking, you got sober, and then you, a lot of years later, reintroduced alcohol into your life.

So we've had you and Nikki Glazer, on the show together. We've had Nikki on to talk about alcoholism and stopping drinking, but you never really identified as an alcoholic, correct? So in my family, I, you know, my mom was an alcoholic. My grandfathers probably were, but they just liked the party, but drink scotch every day. But it was a little different. I feel like that's a lot of grandfathers. Yeah, but they were wearing a suit. They just all were. Yeah, like functioned alcoholics. Yeah. And I never considered myself an alcoholic, I guess, but I would do benders, you know, like if I was going to Vegas, yeah, starting on the airplane until, uh, you should be able to,

I was throwing up on the airplane coming back. Yeah. Those kind of things. And then doing stand-up, starting later in life, I would just get tired. It was really like, there was no really, like, I have a lot of cool stories of when I should have quit. Uh-huh. But really it just ended up just being tired. I think about to keep saying this all the time on our show, Glazer saying like, it was like 5 p.m.

Right before a show and I was in the shower just being like, I don't want to feel like this anymore. Yeah. Just like hung over and I'm not sharp. Like, that is what it boils down to for a lot of people. And now when I drink, it's literally like, you know, a corona on a boat. You know, I love a beer on a boat. I love red wine with my family, probably just to relax and not be so anxious around my dad. But like, how did you reintroduce that is my question?

So you like pretty much cold turkey quit. Yeah, I quit for four years. A lot of things in my life, I don't overthink. I go off emotion. And then three years later, I'm like, wow, I have no bowls and I have carrots in my bed. I don't know what happened kind of thing. Like, that's how I live my life. And so one day my girlfriend was drinking,

had a bottle of wine at home, just watching TV. I was like, maybe I have a glass. She's like, are you sure you want to do this? And I'm like, but then that also like when people do that too, and I'm like, but I don't have a problem, don't question it. I can just do what I want to do kind of thing. But the longer you quit, the more people don't want you to start again because they don't want that on their thing.

If you're an actual addict, you know, I want to talk super sensibly. I have a lot of information on alcoholism just from friends and family members and also some stuff that I had to go through classes and stuff when I was getting more in trouble. So, I mean, true addicts, alcoholics can't just have alcohol in moderation. That's the dream. So, you know, if you have somebody that's been sober for four years and they say they want to drink, it's concerning. That's true.

So, like, you're like, you're falling off the wagon, you know, which is true for most people who would identify as an alcoholic or like, that's not something you get just the luxury of doing, which I feel for those people because that's all that they would, want. I mean, most people have a dream of having a healthy relationship with alcohol and being able to have it in moderation, but that's not the reality for true addicts. So it doesn't sound like that's what you were. And you were able to healthily incorporate it back in. Yeah. Which is, again, is like if you're able to do that, it's a luxury. I think my relationship with alcohol changed. My relationship with myself changed a lot. A lot of times I was drinking because

just anxiety when I would go out and I would want to be the life at a party. I want people to laugh at me. And then I did stand up. I already got all that. from that. And then I just didn't feel the need to be the center of attention at a party. And I didn't get as uncomfortable going to a party or going to a first date. So I didn't need it anymore. So at this point, I was just drinking because I was like, oh, it might be nice to have a little bit of a buzz.

So my relationship changed with it. And it sounds like you understand your relationship with it. And you could explain that to Brenna too. Like I dated an alcoholic for a long time who had gone through the program, was in therapy, was sober. And the way he described his relationship with alcohol, it would give me alarm bells if he had had a drink. Like there would be no like, maybe we introduced this back. You're like, he had a very negative relationship with alcohol. He made very bad decisions when he went towards

alcohol and could not stop. And so it doesn't sound like that was your relationship with alcohol necessarily. At one point it was for sure. You know, like I definitely got arrested a couple times. Same. Yeah. I think you and are so similar in our life with like type of college experience, the binge drinking, the being the life of the party, the crazy stories, the getting arrested, the DUI, BUI, you know, like different. Like we have like so much similarities. I think that's why we bonding because we met at a show where you shared your drunkest, craziest story.

That was the point of the show. It was like Amy Shanker's blacked out show or something. You shared like a crazy drunk story. And he told a story. I was like, it's so funny. And I've told a crazy one too. But like I like that like so many people experience that. Like when you're that person, that party mode,

you can't imagine life without alcohol being like part of your personality. And like it totally can just change. You know, you and I both drink so moderately. And then when it's happening, So the story you're telling you, I was in Florida. It was July 4th. I was on a jet ski hammered. But I figured a jet ski, you can't hurt anyone on a jet ski.

Except yourself. Yeah. You'd hurt yourself. I'd hurt yourself. I'd like threw myself off a jet ski and cracked a rib. Oh, well, you're on land. It's. That's right.

I was just, in a second. I was actually just sitting on it on the back of someone's trail. So I got pulled over because I was in a manatee zone going like 200 miles per hour. Like it was the fastest jet ski. It had no governor. Like I think a manatee zone too, like the speed limit's like four. Literally. It's like almost idle through this.

Yeah, idle through it. I was literally jumping off of them. You were catching air off of manate? I was catching air. I had a girl on the back with huge fake cans and like a barbed wire tattoo. Like it was like right out of a kid rock like video. It was my life at that point. Totally.

And next day I know I'm flying down and I hear sirens and I'm looking at. towards the land because I don't think about a boat. Bozac. I wouldn't either. I wouldn't think. Yeah, you just don't think. I'm like, where's the car? It's not just boats for life. I just wouldn't think of it.

Yeah, how did this cop car get in the water? And I turn around and it's like a boat is chasing me. But I like, I probably could have got away with how fast this thing was. And they're like, pull over. I'm like, where do I, in the mangroves? What do you want me to do? Park on top of an alligator. I don't know what to do.

Park on a manate. Park on a manatee. They're like, pull over. And I was like, so I pulled over at a dock. I was just parked at a dock. They were just like, were you drinking, you're speeding through? I was like, no, officer. They're like, all right, well, walk to that buoy.

You know, no, I don't know what they were doing. They gave me a ticket, an $80 ticket, and I just forgot about it. It was July 4th. But this is where I was in my life is like, I was like, I went out and party. I didn't even think that was like a big deal. Six months later, I'm on a date with a stripper in Orlando, Florida. there's like no like there's lakes there but like whatever so I take her out it's a Tuesday night we go to like Bahama Breeze and we're getting along and everything's great she doesn't speak any English she's Spanish getting along great okay

she's telling me about how nice I am all she keeps saying it's so nice it's so nice and I was like this is the best date I've ever been on I am nice but it stopped feeling like a compliment because like she didn't know that many words in English. So I was like, oh, this, whatever. So I go, we're having a great time, and I take her back to her apartment, which happens to be in not the nicest part of town, and we're making out, everything's great. And then next thing I know, I hear to sirens again. And I'm like, looking for a boat this time. No, so I, so I, are we in water? Are we in water? Am I on a jet ski? So the cop goes, get out of a car. Put your hands up. Get out of a vehicle. But you're in the car hooking?

or you're in our house looking out? In the car. So I think I'm going to arrest it for prostitution. That's what I think is happening. Yeah. I think it's some kind of sting. You know, like Chris Hansen shows up. I'm like, that's where you're like.

Yeah. Anyway, so then he goes, step out of a car. And I look at her, I go, whatever he's asked you to tell him, I'm nice. You know? I'm nice with it. And I get out of the car. And he's like, you have a warrant out for your rest. I know, puts me in handcuffs.

And then he goes, he starts laughing. He literally is laughing. And he goes, were you speeding on a jet ski in a manatee zone? You didn't know this story. And you never paid the ticket. And I go, well, it sounds like something I could have done, officer. And he goes, well, if you don't have $80 on you, we got to take you downtown. You have a warrant out for your rest.

And I go, well, whatever you do, will you tell my date that I'm not a murderer? I don't know what he told her. But she threw the keys and yelled Adios Mio and ran. And I was like, oh, my God, she must love manatees. And so then I'm like freaking out. I'm in jail now. Straight up jail. Oh, you did have to go.

Yeah. You didn't have $80? No, who carried? Well, I probably could have carried cash at the time. Oh, you cash? Yeah, he wanted cash. And I was like, let's stop at ATM. He's like, I was like, I'll do it behind my back.

Okay. And I just remember being in the cop car. I was like, how does it feel to be a cock block? You freaking, you know, you're arresting me for $80. He's like, I know I'm, it's fucked up. I'll get you in front of the line. He didn't get me in front of the line. line. I don't know what do you. And so anyway, so I'm in jail and I'm like in with two guys and they're

like hard and criminal. Like they've been there for a while. Yeah. They killed the manatees. They killed a man at the year and a man. And so I go, I'm like, what do I do? And like, I'm getting nervous because like, you know, I'm a nice little Jewish boy. I ask my date. And so they go, what did you do? And one of the guys like, oh, I'm in for like burglary or whatever. And the other guys like, I'm in for assault. And they both looked at me. And I was just like, I don't know. I didn't know what to say. I was really nervous. I really was scared. Like, I was like, if I tell them that I'm in for a jet ski on a manatee, like, they'll, like, murder me. Yeah. But I was like, if I get caught lying, if I go too hard, then they'll know I'm a liar.

And that will not work either. So I was like, I'm just going with the truth. And I go, I was speeding on a jet ski real fast in a manatee zone. And they got me. And the guy, and it got real quiet. And I was like, this is not good. And the guy goes, Yamaha or Kalisaki. And I go Yamaha, he goes, oh, that's a good ski. Oh, my God. It's the most Florida story. It's the most Florida story ever. And then we like hung out.

We were good. You and the guys in jail. Yeah. Great. Yeah. And so anyhow. The Yamaha's worth out. But I leave there.

I get bailed out. And you would think at that moment, I'd be like, oh, maybe drinking isn't from, but when you're caught up in it, you just are like, oh, all right. Well, let's go to a bar from here, you know. It's just, and that was kind of my life, you know. Well, also some of these situations. you can write off as these like one-off. Like everybody does these things and most people don't get caught.

I got caught. Like I was trying this guy yesterday on a plane and he was telling me about getting a D-Y when he was 19 and I was like the fact that I didn't is crazy. Like it's just by the grace of God I did now because I did crazy things before Uber existed. And like my life could have turned out different. If I'd just gotten caught doing dumb. I drank and drove jet skis. I did all kinds of dumb shit.

Right. Yeah. I drove drunk. In Florida, driving sober is weird. Yeah. Florida, it's like everyone, because things are so far from each other, you just, you just don't even think about it, really. Yeah. I went over a bridge one time the wrong way hammered in Palm Beach.

And I was like, I got to the middle of the bridge and then I had a choice to make, do I keep going? I finish the bridge. Or do I reverse? And I reversed back down the whole bridge. And, you know, that was fine. But, you know, these are just like. I was driving once. This was like last summer I lived in Dewey.

and I'd like met this guy out and then I had been like working but I was a coctawatrice and I was like still drinking at work whatever like nothing crazy. I wasn't like blacked out driving but I had been drinking. Obviously I drink and drove back then. Everybody knows this and don't do it or condone it today. And it's a lot easier not to. So anyway, I was with this guy and he like lived in Maryland, you know, Delaware in Maryland, whatever, they're close. And we're driving. I'm going back to this guy's place with him like after work, been drinking and I got pulled over like the cops pulled me over. And I'm like, what's going on officer? And he was like, do you know I pulled you over? And I was like, no. And he said, you were going over the line. And I go, the state line? And he meant you were all over the road. And I thought he meant because I crossed into Maryland.

And I got a warning. And that stuff enabled me so much. Like I always say this. Like, we drank and drove in high school. I drank and drove all through college. I would get pulled over in Clemson, not get in trouble. Like it emboldens you when you do it and don't get in trouble. And then, I mean, the second I moved to Atlanta, I mean, one month in, I got to DUI.

This is an excuse, but there's something about it where you like keep getting away with stuff. Like, I wish I just would have got a DUI then. Oh, yeah. And maybe like, you know, change my trajectory a little bit. Like you get too, like, invincible feeling, especially when you're young and dumb. That was like me cheating in college. Like, I wish I got caught freshman year. On girls are tests.

Huh? On girls are on tests. Tess. Okay. I didn't really get girls You only got a test Okay you were a bad boy in the classroom Yeah I was a bad boy in the classroom

I didn't give a fuck I didn't care what that test looked like I was fucking it Yeah no I just would cheat on everything I think it's a cry for help like in a way Cheating? Yeah I didn't get away with a lot I was I've always been one of the

Ask for forgiveness later kind of people You know but I'm just saying like It's easy for you to look at those situations And be like I'm not an alcoholic It's just I got caught And other people get caught Yeah So you reintroduce alcohol in your life.

That's so cute. We were friends in New York with you. And then you moved to St. Louis. Yeah. During the pandemic, met Brenna. And then you guys moved here together. I know. It's crazy.

We wanted to talk to you about moving across the country with a partner and also moving in together. Because is this the first, like, adult relationship you lived with a partner? A adult relationship ever, really. Well, you know what I meant. It's my third girlfriend in my life. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, no, this is, yeah, I never, I thought I would always be like that weird single uncle, you know, the fun uncle that like the nephews all like talk shit about behind his back, you know, like he's weird. Uncle Andrew doesn't even have a couch in his house, you know, like stuff like that, but he's fun. He throws a football. I thought I would be that guy. And I still kind of am, but I just didn't see myself living with someone ever, really. And then, yeah, I moved to St. Louis and she listens to your podcast. You know, she heard me on the Zoom one that I was moving to St. Louis. Oh, my God. Yeah, I owe you guys for this relationship. You and every man on the show owes us for everything. That's a good point. All the pussy they've gotten.

They've done none of it. We've done all of it. I'm not disagreeing with you. Thank you. It's all you. I didn't do anything except be lovable and hot and fucking. You did get hot. Yeah.

Yeah, and got hotter. Okay, so she's like, he's coming. He's been. Yeah, he's coming. She'd DM me. Yeah, it was during COVID. So everything kind of gets expedited during that time. And I don't know, we had a great first.

first date and like, whatever. So, yeah, I wasn't expecting it. You know, it was literally the first week I moved to St. Louis. That's so crazy. Yeah. She knew what she wanted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we just got along so well, probably, you know, again, because of y'all. So we moved in, we lived together in St. Louis before moving here. So it wasn't like we just moved here together without ever living together. Yeah. Okay. So we kind of tested the waters. But yeah, no, it's a little bit of a selfish for me to, you know, like St. during COVID it wasn't like but when COVID was over it's like if I want to be a comedian I need to take the chance of moving either back to New York or to L.A. She wanted to go to ascetician school and so she didn't mind she wanted to leave St. Louis too.

Yeah. So it wasn't like she had family there. She didn't have that many friends there. She actually had more family and friends here. So it wasn't like I had to convince her to leave. But still, it's a big deal. Also, I had like huge expectations of moving here and quickly I realized like I didn't hit the like those expectations were too high. What were the expectation?

Like I thought I'd move here. I'd get certain people on my podcast. I'd get past at a comedy club. I'd be a writer on a show. Then the writer strike happened. Oh my God. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. People here are not as open to like new people coming here and like doing their shows right away. I don't know. It feels very closed off. Do you feel like that caused some strain in your relationship? Because you were like, I wanted to move to this place so I could be somewhere creatively that I'm not.

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. The first four months I was here. I had a big move too. Like I worked with Nikki. We did a podcast together. We lived together at one point. We went on the road together.

It would be like if you two split up. Yeah. And then you had to start over again. Just imagine that. You know, it's like, and that's what I went through. And then having these expectations not met, it was bad. I was really depressed. Like it was...

Right when you moved here? Yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, like a couple of weeks in when I realized like, oh, maybe this was a mistake to move here and then just getting situated. She wasn't in school yet. She couldn't find a job. Then she was working at a restaurant that sucked.

A lot of strain on our relationship. Cloudy. Wasn't sunny here. The weather wasn't great. That was a large part of it. Like, we all moved here at the same time, the same week, basically. And we're like that we thought the sunshine would just be out all the time. And like the weather definitely took a toll.

Just rain for three months. We were like, what the fuck are we doing? Yeah. So do you feel like a huge like obligation though? You're like, I made you move here and this is not what I've sold you basically. For sure. Listen, we're all adults. We make decisions 50-50, you know?

Like you shouldn't feel that weight on your shoulders. But that is what it was that you were like, I want to move to L.A. because it may. And now it hasn't turned out the way I wanted to. And now I'm depressed on top of that. Yeah. I mean, I felt that, you know, my whole life, it was just me. You know, that's all.

That's how I lived my whole. So like when I was talking about just doing things based off emotion, it's easier when it's just you. Part of me still thought like that even while we were in a relationship. I mean, that takes time to go, okay, let me step outside myself. And it's like, how is this affecting her? And what is she going through? And what is she doing with her life career wise?

What is she feeling emotionally? Let me step outside of myself for once. Let me buy cups, you know? Like, you know what I mean? And I think like I finally like hit that like moving here. And I don't know, when you're at your low, then you start to realize what's important. And what is important and it sounds like so cheesy is like her. And like so many times I don't wake up grateful, you know?

Like when I wake up in the morning, it takes me like four hours to get to grateful, you know? Like it takes me so long to just get to a point of just like. Yeah, life is great. But lately, you know, and through doing the work, I think I was just like, I look at her and I look at my cat on top of her head and I just look at them and I go, this is enough. This is what's important and all that other shit, whatever. Like, I just have completely let it go. And it's funny. Once I did that, the other shit that I kind of cared about, moving it started to come into my life and like getting career opportunities.

So I don't know there's like an answer there. I just think like don't have insane expectations, don't have none, but like things that you can't control, just let that shit go. Yeah. Anyway, so like, yeah, so I've been like way more grateful for the little things lately. I want to ask you that question too, because I think that when you're single for a really long time and like I have been at this point now, I've been single for two years. Like it's hard for me to imagine considering somebody else now.

And I think that like the people that are really wonderful are easy to consider, you know, because you want to. But like, you've been single for a long time too. And like now you found this person that's such like a partner to you and I love him so much. Do you feel like it was hard for you to like consider another person after being single for a while? I don't think at all because I was like really wanted it and it was like the perfect time. Like I think it would be hard if you were like really in that point in your life where you were just like, I wanted. I like decided it was the time that I wanted to be in a relationship and I was going to like make space and energy for it.

It's also someone that's like flexible and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. You know, like we're figuring it out. We're figuring out what our relationship looks like. Of course, we've discussed him moving here, but it's like, how long am I staying here? I don't want him to uproot it his whole life, get a new job, you know, do things. I'm sure you felt like this too. Like, what if I'm the one that leads this move? And then she's not happy and she did this for me and she doesn't have any friends.

You know, like he doesn't have ties to out here. And I have this whole circle and all the stuff. So I think it's always that. But it has not been a challenge for me at all because I wanted it so much. He's like the perfect person. Like I feel like we're such a good equal partnership. And we're like both committed to like prioritizing each other. And so it feels like it falls into place.

You feel like you're with him. It meets you halfway. Yeah. I think that like, you're both busy. But I think that you are just by the nature of a job a little busier because we we do travel so much. So he does like make more of an effort to like come to where you are and like meet you halfway. You know, and I think that's nice.

And I think some people just worry like I've been single for so long. Can I let somebody in? You know, I worry about that sometimes. Yeah, that's what made me think about it. I actually thought of it for a whole episode. Someone wrote us and I wrote it down on my notebook because her subject line was am I meant to be single. I think there's like a difference between it's like, I'm choosing to be single because I like the freedom.

I like not having to answer to anyone. I like being able to if I want to travel, I could just travel. And that's like different than like I'm single because I don't think I deserve love, you know, that kind of thing. And sometimes I think like I was towing those lines. Like I don't deserve to be with someone. It was not so much like I love the freedom. You know, it was more like the latter. But yeah, I don't know. I think that changes over time. I think also with my career stuff, I want to be able to provide. And if I'm not feeling like I'm able to provide at the time, then it's hard to think that I deserve someone, you know? Well, I think that's something that like more so men just because of like there are still generals in play in a lot of relationships and with a lot of people internally. You know, I know it's like changed over time.

But I still think a lot of men feel like they need to be a provider. You're older than her. You know, things like that. And I look at a lot of people's relationships, and I know that that's what's going on. Yes, there's worlds in which it's just like, no, it's just nothing into you. But I know there's like this guy who is like, I can't fully commit to this woman and then start the whole timeline of, are we getting married, are we going to move in together? Are we having kids?

All this stuff when I don't even have my shit together at all. Yeah. Like you've got to have your shit together a little. Some people don't care. But I think a lot of people, it holds them back. And when I met her, I had my shit together more. and then it kind of fell apart because I made this decision to uproot everything to go from having your shit together to not having together to now trying to get it back together. That's just so yeah.

But, you know, it almost would be easier if I was just like, how about this? I'm just going to get my shit together again. I'll see you in six months. I don't want you to go through this. You go live your life. You pray love, whatever. Just don't, you know, bang a DJ. Just don't, you know, whatever.

Yeah. But like, yeah, it's hard when you start a certain. way in your relationship and things change in that regards. But, oh, but yeah, we're really happy now. Like, we got through, like, the roughest part, I think. You guys are a great couple. Like, you communicated to her. Like, I understand this isn't really what you signed up for.

And I was, like, the ringleader of bringing us here. Yeah. And honestly, it's made me be way more appreciative of her, knowing that, like, oh, it wasn't because I was on Girls Got to eat that one time, you know. Or, you know, I'm kidding, but, like, it wasn't because of, like, my status or, like, cloud or whatever, like, however famous I was at the time or however well I was doing, it really, she's seen me at my lowest and I think she's only loved me more while I was there. You guys are truly one of my favorite couples to hang out with as a third wheel. Like, I don't feel like I'm with a couple, even though you guys are affectionate and you love each other. I feel like I'm, like, hanging out with two friends.

Like, I say that as a compliment. I don't feel excluded hanging out with them. Like even being single. Like it's just you truly are friends. You're like buddies. You're really funny together. She's so hot but also so like witty and great to talk to. She's like really warm.

And we think you're wonderful too. But anyway, I love you guys together as a couple. She fits in really well. Also, like I think it can be really tough. So the four of us will go out. She's just like she really gets in there in a good way. Like I think when you're with like three other people that are in comedy, I don't call myself a comedian.

You guys are comedians. But like I am in comedy. I think it can be hard to be like the fourth wheel, just like trying to get in there because there's so much conversation. And she's just, she melds really well with people. I just love her. Yeah. I think it's the Midwest thing.

I think whatever. However, she was brought up. But she, yeah, it's funny, though, like, we still fight a ton, you know. But the small, like, the small is, we got in a fight recently. So we got. That's a small food. We got, um, Chipotle. She had like a, uh, watermelon drink.

I thought she was done. It was like an hour later. Her drink was on the table. Her water melt. You were still at Chippole? No, no. We were back home. And I was like, I'm thirsty.

So I just finished her drink. I thought it was done. I thought it was trash. So then 10 minutes later, you drank my watermelon. And I go, yeah, I drank your watermelon. It was just sitting there. It was melted. There was no ice.

She's like, you should ask me. And I go, okay. Well, I'm sorry. I drank your watermelon. Sometimes I don't know if I apologize. Actually, I just, because I think, like, I can't believe you're getting mad about this. Also, also I bought the Chipotle.

Like, let's not forget. Especially my water mom. I provided. Yeah. I provided the watermelon. I provided the kids meal that I bought. So then seven days go by. She has a side salad in the fridge.

Mind you, I get Trader Joe's all the time. I pay. I don't care. I don't, whatever. My food is your food. Yeah. We live together. She had a side salad.

If you get something apparently on your own, then that's mine in our house. So she had a side salad. Not even like a main salad. So I go, all right, I'm going to, I don't have the car. We split a car. I'm at home. There's a side salad in there.

Lettuce goes bad. I'm like, I got to get this before the lettuce goes bad. I'm just going to eat the side salad. I'm meeting the side salad. Halfway through, she walks in the door. I have the lettuce in my mouth. And she goes, really? That's my salad.

And I go, and I go. I go, yeah, but our food is, my food's your food. It's everyone. Yeah, but I was like really looking forward to eating that. Also, it just asked me. Can you just ask me? It's like the drink from, she'll bring up the Tripoli. I'm annoyed for her.

Yeah. I was just going to say, I want you to. So part of me, I go, yeah, but all the food, all the food that we've been all week. I pay, like, I don't, I don't, if I got something from a restaurant or if I get something from Trader Joe's, what's mine is yours. But I get it. I should ask. So she's very mad about the side salad. And then fast forward five days later,

she has leftover sushi in the fridge, like one piece left. And I text her, I go, hey, do you mind if I... Eat your one piece of sushi? Eat the last minute. And she writes back...

Fine, period. She literally, she wrote back. I want to, like, because I think... I want to hear this. She literally goes... I'm so invested. Here, so I go,

can I eat this last piece of sushi? She wrote no. And then she goes, L-O-L, you don't have to ask about that. But that's funny. Did you eat it already? I did. No.

By way, way, it gets... Yeah. So then she goes, I go, you literally yelled at me for this last week. Yeah. She goes, it's one piece of sushi. I'm not going to call the...

cops. It's not a freaking meal. I go, neither was the tiny salad. And she goes a side salad. And then that was it. But the one sip of watermelon drink is like, listen, I was on her side. And now I don't know what to think. I know. I feel really gaslit. I was just going to say, this is not everybody feels like my food is your food. Like a lot of people think about what they're going to eat the next meal. I do. My food is my food. It's like my brain is really like this. Do you write your name on it kind of thing? Nobody lives here, but my food is my food. Ashley's little pinchy fingers and she knows to ask now.

Yeah, I'll go in there and I just can't have free reign and like, no, I'm not her romantic partner but I understand it being like if I have this leftover thing. I was playing on eating that when I came home so ask me if you're going to take it. But now I'm like, what is going on with Brenna? Then she said, just ask and then you ask and she's like,

idiot, why'd you ask her just like? Yes, I lost my mind. I couldn't believe. I thought I was going to go, thank you for asking this time. Yes! That's what I thought I would get. You're so stupid. You're literally so stupid.

And by the way, What kind of monster do you think I am to get mad about something so small? Yes. Sushi is less replaceable than a side salad. You could go to any store on earth and get a side salad. This salad didn't even have it had no tomatoes, nothing. It was lettuce and maybe two croutons. No one looks forward eating a salad either.

She's like, I was really looking forward. No, you weren't. I want to, she's not here to defend herself. That's true. Should I call her on voicemail? Let's salad shame her. Honestly. It is funny.

I'm like, I have to know her rationale of, the like she was upset about the drink and the salad but not the muses sushi is so funny yeah it's just one of those things where it's like it costs to just be couples just yeah but these are the kind of fights we have exactly exactly you know but then you go well is the fight about something more than the side salad right you know sometimes you're like maybe it's deeper than that but i had a huge fight about chili oil once and it was not about the chili oil exactly yeah it was about the fact that he didn't give me money for anything yeah and now he's eating my special chili oil totally yeah i think I think there's always something deeper.

Yeah. I'd be curious if she, like, you know, went to a therapist and explain this, like, where it comes from. I mean, all of us when we, you know, get upset about something where it's not really about that. Look, I'm not the best roommate here. Like, I don't, I try. I'm really trying. Being, it's hard living together.

You're in a small space. Who does laundry? Who does their food under the bed still? No way, right? At times there's, no, no, no, no. There really isn't. There really isn't. I mean, we both eat in bed at times.

You can eat in bed. but the food needs to leave the room afterwards. I don't understand what you're doing. I kind of get that. I don't really eat in bed. But a couple times I feel like we've had some Cheetos in bed. That's dry goods. Totally different.

Anything that can like when it hits the air starts to rot different. So you've got to put it back in the kitchen. You got to you don't lie it under the bed. Cheetos, you just fold that shit over. I'm going to bed. I guess the lesson here is like if you bring it to the bed, it should be finished in the bed. That's the lesson here. Yes.

Or get a mini fridge in your room. I've been thinking about putting it. fridge in my room. Raina, I'm surprised you don't have one. I know. You're up in that little... She's up in her little, like, what is it called? Where Rapunzel was. What was Rapunzel? I was my tower. She was like up in her little tower. My bedroom's on the second floor, but my bed is on the third floor. It's like lofted above my bedroom.

You're so far. I know. It stops me from eating and drinking late at night because I'm like, I'm already up here. I'm so far away from the downstairs. But like, if I put a fridge up there, I will be drinking nonstop. You think I drink a lot now. Oh, right, because you drink that white wine. be in the mini fring. Alcohol. Only alcohol. Wine.

What stops me from drinking. No apps in there? You wouldn't put it in like a hummus. Like a hummus? Like a hummus? I probably would put it on there for your pretzels. Yes. You bring your pretzels up there.

I don't really eat dinner. And all I eat for dinner is like a bottle of wine and some pretzels and hummus. And I can't have extra up there. The problem is would you ever leave your room? No, I wouldn't because like late in night. I fill up a cup of wine all the way to the top and I take it upstairs. And that's my serving for the evening. I can't go back downstairs.

But like if there was a. fridge in the room? So maybe no fridge. No fridge. Fridge is tough. Then you have a toilet in the room, you know, then like where does it stop? The laziness. Toilet in the bed. Yeah. I just cut a hole in the from the bed. Take a shit in, yeah, right there. I have another question for you. Yeah. So we talked about this. Like there was a weekend where like we hung out a lot and Brenna had to work the whole time. And we kind of talked about like times in your life when your partner is like whatever they're doing. They're like

working, bust in their ass. I mean, Brennan's in school. She has another job. Like she really right now in her life is like, we wanted to have her here today. I didn't. I didn't. say that earlier. We wanted to have you two together, but like we just couldn't work it out with her schedule. And like, you're out, you know, we're hanging out the beach, being at the party, like not just me, you and whatever. And like, I think a lot of couples deal with that, like, feeling guilty or, you know, not her, but your partner could make you feel guilty. Like, how could you be out, party and I'm working? Well, the two-bust went to a beach party all day and drank all day. Yeah, and she was at work and you, of course we wish she was there. But it's just like

this time in her life right now, like how do you guys navigate that or is it even an issue at all? No, it's definitely an issue. I think, you know, FOMO for people is like pretty strong, you know. Also, then it's like if she has free time and then that's not being utilized for fun, like sometimes if someone else's schedule is more busy when they have free time, you better have something ready to go. Wait, so I suffered from that a lot. The person I was engaged too. He worked in restaurants, I had a 9 to 5. We never saw each other.

So like the one and a half days a week I had available. to him, I was like, this has to go to me. The free time has to go to May. We would fight constantly about it. But like, that's not fair either because like I totally forgot about the fact that he also had like a family and friends. He would like to say. Because I was like, well, my experience is that I only get to see you once a week.

So that day is for me. I know it's hard when you have a lot of free time to go, well, I know this is your only free time. But because I have so much free time, I don't really want to do anything right now. Like you can't say that. Because then it's like you're a monster. You know, I work at night a lot.

She's working during the day. Like I probably have more friends here than she does. So it's like, yeah, that shit adds up and it's tough. I have trouble also. Like even if I'm not getting shit from her, I'll still feel bad. You've empathy for it. That's good. Yeah, but then I should just enjoy myself and be able to throw football and hang out at the beach

without being like, well, and Ashley says this all the time. And I agree, like two things can be true at once. Like you can enjoy yourself and deserve that. And you can also feel empathy for the fact that she can't be part of it. Yeah. And I think some of these things couples don't want to talk about because they sound like weird or petty. Yeah. So I think you guys obviously communicate about it. Yeah.

Okay. Well, anything else that you really wanted to discuss today? Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey or any? No, I can't talk about anymore. Please stop. Oh. Jesus Christ. I was about to go on.

I will fucking quit the podcast. What do you think? No. God damn it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about. Do you really have a hot take or anything? What is Nikki likes it?

Yeah. I think the interesting thing is that for me, it's like a reverse. high school movie where usually the jock breaks the girl's heart and then she falls in love with like the theater nerd who's Jake Gyllenhaal or the the band geek who's John Mayer but they broke her heart and now this freaking jock who's he's on dumb as rocks but whatever I think he's coming to save the day and it's just like you don't see it often where a jock is though is that's funny yeah she did the movie Valentine's Day yes she was in it ago. And her boyfriend was like the dumb

quarterback jock. That's who she was like in love with. And did he hurt her? No, I think they're really fine together. But it was, it's cute. She really plays like a cute role. She's just obsessed with this dumb jock. I think they match well together. I don't know. Sometimes his bullshit radar is pretty high for me like where I think he's in it for the cloud and he's going to use this to for a jumping off point even more for his career and eventually just keep using it to make himself bigger. But he is a two-time Super Bowl winner.

Like, he's not just some chump. The NFL is a pretty powerful organization. Like, he is one of the best players in history. Like, yes, you could say everybody's using everybody. You can't get a Travis Kelsey jersey if you tried. Like, those games are sold out. Like, his podcast is number one. It certainly helped him.

But like, he didn't need it. The man is still a millionaire and we'll go down in history as a great football player. Yeah, but I think. She's most fans. To counter that, like, if you have all the money, you have all the money, you have all of fame. Like, you don't need any more of that. So the only thing you can get more of at that point is more clout. You know, so then it's like, could be even more valuable because he already has all the other shit. He's not Tom Brady. There's still more to go. I mean, I've heard of him.

Obviously, he was like a household name for me, but not for a lot of people. Right. So I don't know. I just, I have this like feeling that like she's going to break it off with it. Oh. My gut feeling tells me that like she wants it so bad. and there's something inside of it. He's just not going to be mentally stimulating enough for her. And this is not calling him a dumb jock. I'm not trying to play into that stereotype.

But there's something, my gut, and my like witchy psychic gut is her being like, this is perfect. This is what I always dreamed of. He's taking care of me. He's pushing my security guard aside because he wants to watch out for me. He's holding my hand.

And he's this like big strong. He's the football star, all the thing. But there's something missing for her. Yeah. That's my gut. I like that. I can see them on a couch and she's writing a song. And she's like, I just can't finish this verse.

And, you know, I'm a girl on a lake with a, you know, I got introduced to your sausage eating dad. And I don't know, like, we were tight, but how will this end? How do you think what's the next line? And she looks at him and he goes, huh? Huh? Oh. Um, have you tried rhyming bad with dad?

You know, and she'll just be like, ew. like I just was with the most creative people on earth and you're just yeah you just don't get it you don't get that part of me I feel right about it I can see it I can't wait for this to end so I never have to talk about it again but then he's six five and he like picks her up and go down on her while standing up and she's like you know what I don't really care about the lyrics yeah right you don't always get everything from somebody and he's just like I don't know find some friends to stimulate you intellectually guys we'll see you know thanks for chatting about. Raina hates it. Yesterday we're at the car and I was like, I don't ever want to talk about this again. And Ashley was like, lo and behold, there's a whole Taylor Swift magazine in this car and then she just talked to me about it for the 20 minutes. That's why I looked out the window.

I'm fascinated by all of it. And Tess and I were talking about it separately, privately after you got all the cars today when we felt safe to discuss. And we feel like she's so comfortable in her life and her fame that she is being more public. She's doing whatever the fuck she wants. Her energy at that recent awards show was at the VMAs. She was just like lit up,

spilling red wine, dancing. She's a gazillionaire. She just stimulated the U.S. economy on her own. She's showing up in these game day boxes. Like, she's just out there. And it's giving like, I don't give a fuck energy. And I like to see it from her. What makes me a little nauseous is Patrick Mahomes' wife becoming best friends with her just because of proximity.

I would too. Brittany Mahomes. I would do exactly what that bitch is doing. I came out with Britney. That tight curl recently. It was so tight. It doesn't. I don't think she deserves to be next to day. I think she should be one friend over. Andrew, you know how I feel about the Mahomes. Yeah. Andrew and I got in a fight because I don't want to say anything too mean. I find him deeply unattractive and Andrew doesn't. I don't want to say anything too mean. I'm just like I don't want to say anything to me. I'm just like, that was so much worse than saying like.

Totally. He has no swag and he's ugly. No, but I'm telling you, Patrick Mahomes, if he was in this room, he's six five. He's won two Super Bowls. The guy glows. I guarantee in person. He's larger than life. You would watch that documentary? It wasn't giving 6'5 larger than life. I'm telling you if he was in this room and Brittany Mahomes was in this room and you go, who's hotter?

If they were here in person, it would feel different. What do you mean who's hotter? Between who? I'm obviously triggered from the Super Bowl and like hearing people say this narrative of like the NFL's grooming him to become the next like Tom Brady or whatever. I get so mad about it because I'm like he's not it for me. And then his brother and the whole thing. Well, the brother.

I have a whole Mahomes hatred. He just doesn't have like, you know, I wish everyone the energy. Like, he doesn't have like that, like, big leader energy that you guys are going to come for us. He's not going to be our icon. He's not. Well, it's because he has an interesting voice where he sounds. He sounds like a frog dying.

He's a Muppet. Yeah. Yes. Okay, the voice is part of it. And this patchy facial hair. I. We hate it. We hate patchy facial hair.

It should be the next huge name in the NFL is actually going to be dressed Kelsey's. That's just like what it is. He is the biggest name of the NFL. All right. We went down this path too far. But Andrew, tell everybody all the places they can find you. Talk about the puddles version 6. Yes.

So my podcast called Puddles. It was Puddles with Andrew Collin. Now it's going to be Puddles with Andrew and Brenna. She's going to be an official co-host, my girlfriend, that I was just talking about, who's mad about a side salad. We're bringing it back. I've brought it back like eight times. It's probably some kind of mental illness.

But I'm very excited. about it. We have so much fun on there. We make fun of ourselves. We make fun of everything. And then we take calls from listeners and give advice that will probably ruin your life. But we try. And yeah, I'm just really excited about relaunching it. And I feel like in a really good headspace for it. Okay, great. We can't wait to listen to it. Can you deep dive on this food situation on an episode? So our listeners can hear from both sides. Yeah. So literally our next episode we're recording, we're asking people what they hate about and what pisses them off about living together. Okay.

And I think the fridge. I think the fridge is open. If you live together, what's mine is yours. I don't care if you buy it. Absolutely not. You're completely wrong. What is mine is mine. And then she popped up and just an absolute.

What's mine and what's ours is mine. And if I order it at a restaurant, it's mine. If I picked it, it's mine. If I cooked it, it's mine. I don't give you paid for it. You're coming across like you don't share in restaurants. You do love to share in a restaurant. Oh, I love to order a bunch of things together.

And while we're at the restaurant, we can share it. Hey, Rayna said, what's mine is mine and what's ours is mine and what's yours is also mine. What a dream, girl. That's got to be a decent. What an amazing moment to live with. Why the guys I date are so beta. I'm like, what are you going to do about it? I'll fucking eat your fucking lasagna.

Yeah, I will. Once it leaves the restaurant and it is in the home and I have chosen it, it's mine. That is crazy to eat my salad. Listen, I again, can't stress enough. We were on Team Bread until Sushi Gate. And now I need to know. I feel gaslight. Sometimes you got to wait till the end of a story to pick a sign.

Well, guys, listen to Puddles and you'll hear what happened with SushiGate. And of course, you can find us at Girls Got to Eat.com. Tickets to the remaining shows of the Snack City Tour, of course. And you can find us on Instagram and TikTok at Girls' Got to Eat podcast. I am Ash Hess. Raina is rana. at Greenberg, Andrew Andrew T. Colin on Instagram.

Vives only.com and vibes only on Instagram as well. Subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend. Of course, listen to Puddles. And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye. Thanks.