Girls Gotta Eat - Have We Overcorrected When It Comes to Dating?

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

With all the dating advice/rules/list/etc taking over our online landscape, we couldn't help but wonder…have we gone too far? We're so excited to cover the concept of overcorrecting when it comes to dating, inspired by the viral list "Places Women Refuse to Go On a First Date" (we have a lot to say!) and from all the content we see and consume every day. We discuss how some of the information out there could actually be harming your dating life and possibility of finding love, but how you can filter it and make it work for you. Before we get into the topic, we talk about guys on bikes (ick or not?), Rayna's comical texting with her mom about Thanksgiving, something that killed the mood for Ashley like never before, the show Naked Attraction, AND our new Vibes Only products (including a vibrator that will give you the best orgasm of your life). Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at quince.com/gge. Buffy: Get $20 off your order at buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. AG1: Get a free one year supply of vitamin D3+K2 and five free travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/gge. Hello Fresh: Go to hellofresh.com/ggefree and use code GGEFREE for free breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you have all this stuff being shoved down your throat, it can make you feel like that's how it's supposed to be. And all of a sudden, you're this person who has all these rules that you didn't really make for yourself. I've girls got to eat. Welcome back. Raina is horny as fuck to talk about our new vibes only product. Guys, we have this new product we're launching today.

I have been masturbating so hard with it. And I have been dying to talk about it every week. I'm like, two more weeks. This is your Roman Empire. It's finally happening. It is my Roman Empire. I think about all the time. I'm so excited for you guys to get this.

What do you think you talk about? about more. The Debbie or our videographer. If you could have both at one time. Tessa's like Ryan. Not even a competition. Chesa was here for 30 minutes before you got here. Twenty-five was dedicated to Ryan. We're going to briefly

recap the Halloween show as we talked about him last week, but just we had a few hilarious costumes. We really think you guys will appreciate even if you weren't there. But Ryan's idea was to dress up like a security guard. He just got like a black t-shirt that said security. And then he was going to kind of surprise you with at the And then my idea was to put on a bald cap. And lo and behold, I had extras because I wore wig caps with my wigs.

And then Tess's idea was to do a bunch of temporary tattoos, which we didn't have time to do. But he did the bald cap and the security guard shirt. We're going to do temporary tattoos. Oh, my God. You know he was a creative person. She is so creative. You can buy like fake looking dumb sleeves. We just didn't have time.

We had time to go to two sex shops on this trip. We do to go to two sex shops. I just have to tell you, like, how enthralled I was with that cost. because it said security in bright white. It was a black shirt with white writing. You started telling a story and I looked at him and I was like, I can't stop looking at this and you go, I don't have to tell my story. Yeah.

I was like, sorry, I can't let this go. It's no longer about me and that's fine. The show is now about this cosplay security card. Okay, we are just going to say a couple more things about Halloween shows just because we didn't get to talk about it last week because we hadn't done them yet. But we are just getting off of the San Francisco in LA shows. So thank you guys for coming out, our hometown show and our home state show. And they were, I'm sure, really wonderful.

We haven't done them yet. But I know they will. Yeah. So we did Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver, all Halloween shows. You know, when you first pitched the idea to me, I was like, oh, I don't know. That's a lot. And I can't imagine not doing it. I mean, when we did this in Boston two years ago, we just threw on, like, I was

a taco. You were a soup costume. We did the same thing for all three shows. We didn't wear it the whole show. Like, to really commit to these costumes, which we had to talk about last week. So we don't want to be repetitive. but it was just so much fun. It was so much fun.

It was so special. I don't want to go back to not doing things shows. I feel like what am I going to wear a fucking jumpsuit to the next show? Ew.

I had so much fun coordinating it with you and you just made me laugh so hard. I was like, how am I going to wear this hat the whole time? And you were like, you wear like a hat. Like you wear like a hat.

I don't know if you've ever worn a hat for a couple. You've been extra condescending lately. We were on the way to the airport and I was like, do you know how cold it's going to be? And like Seattle and Vancouver and Portland. You're,

yeah, Rana. It's a different part of the country. I didn't say it in that total. And I was like, you were just like, can you believe it's going to be cold in the Pacific Northwest? And I was like, yeah, it's a different part of the country. You were condescending to me. We were walking in Vancouver because, you know, I pride myself on my love for Vancouver. And I do feel like I know the city pretty well, despite only being there three times.

And I was like, I think the sushi place is right up here. And you go, yeah, you could check that little computer in your pocket. I was like, okay, bitch. Did not like that. You really were like, I'm pretty sure I know where I'm going. And I was like proud of myself. I was like, oh, you guys, I think you just walk up here and take a ride. I was all proud of myself that I knew how to get there.

And they're like, you can check that little computer and you're talking. I would have said to anybody. And I just meant like maybe instead of guessing, we just get the information. Listen, we've been cold out. We've been spending too much time together. No, I'm kidding. We really do still love each other just as much. I don't know how it's been happening.

It's so many years. Because we just laugh all the time. Every second this weekend. I was with you until like three o'clock yesterday. just came over today to work. And then I always think you're just not going to want to text me, but you still do. You, I'm like, I'll hear from her in four minutes. You were like, I just got this jacket. It's amazing. And I was like, I'm going on a phone break for 30 minutes. And then I saw your Instagram story that your table had like exploded and your dinner was all over the ground.

I was like, I got to text her. I, you catfish me with that story. You were like, she's going to text me. We got home at like, I know I got him like one o'clock in the afternoon from this tour and was like, I know I'm going to cook dinner. I'm going to cook my hell of tonight and I just want like a light lunch. So I had a daily harvest, Shokshuka, and I was just going to make it. And I was so excited about it. It looked so good. I had seasoned it. And I take it outside. It was like a beautiful 70 degree day. I take it a different part of the country. It's a different part of the country from that we were just in. And I take it outside. I sit down on my little chair, put it on my table. And I feel like it happened so quick. All of a sudden,

it was completely all the food was in the rocks. Also, right. Not that I would ever eat food off the ground, but like here, it was gravel. Yeah, I have like a rock backyard. It was just tons of food in the gravel. I was like, what just, what even just happened? It took me a minute to understand. Here's what happened.

That little table is just a cheap Amazon table that I bought when I was moving in and before like one of my side tables arrived. It's not for outdoor. So it was rotted. So my brother DM me, he was like, guess you didn't get the white glove delivery. And I was like, I'll be honest, this is my bad. This was like a cheap wooden table that wasn't supposed to be outside in the first place. It's been rained on, like, whatever.

It just collapsed. And then I was like, how do I scoop this up? I was scooping up rocks into like the bowl. I know. I shuddered thinking about you cleaning it up with all the gravel and the gravel. And you guys also, if I may direct you, we show pictures of all this stuff on YouTube. So if you ever want to watch the episodes and like get a real vigil, go to YouTube. Girls got at YouTube.com.

So, and it was fine. And, you know, I was just like, I'm not going to freak out. What recourse do I have? You know, I hate a problem. I can't solve. I hate it. I'm just looking at this food in the gravel and I'm like, I have no recourse. I know.

Literally to myself, I was like, don't text right. I don't text right. I was like, I just spent the last, like, entire weekend every minute with her. And then I was texting with Sparkle Eyes about something. And I was like, he hadn't responded yet. He probably just was like in the shower or something. And I was like, hello? Something traumatic just happened to me.

And of course, he's like, babe, what happened? You know, like he comes back. But in that interim between him getting back to me and just holding back from texting you, I just had to post an Instagram and like let the world know. Just see which one of us was going to text you first, just in case someone else would text you. I was laying outside reading a court of thorns and roses, and I promised myself that I wouldn't talk to other people.

That sounds about right. Yeah. Okay, so really quick, we had these incredible shows. We had this dance studio in Vancouver, which is the second time they've opened the show. They opened it last year as well, Formation Studio. You can find them on Instagram. They are so incredible.

They choreographed a routine just for the show. They really hype the audience. Like, no other dancers we've ever had. They jump out in the crowd. We'll have like a hype video of this and stuff. But they are so, so wonderful, local to Vancouver, my favorite city. And we just love them. So we wanted to shout them out.

You can look them up, take classes, Formation Studio. It's easy to remember. Okay, ladies, now let's get in formation. Oh, they did Beyonce Energy, like a short snippet of it. And the part with the mute challenge and the audience did it. I couldn't believe they did it because it was. It was a mashup, and I wouldn't, I would never have expected to, you, I would have never known. I lost my mind. Yes, you got to be quick with it. You and I were backstage and the audience is screaming, cheering for them, the whole performance all like three, four minutes, and they totally went silent at that part. We were so hype about it. I lost my mind. You know, I wouldn't have even done it. I wouldn't have known. A mashup and I'm drinking, absolutely. And I wouldn't be like, yes. And we just wanted to thank everybody who dressed up at all. But there were so many specific girls got to eat and also vibes only themed costumes that, that, I can't get over it.

Like, I can't believe people do that. It's such an honor. I can't believe that we have that type of impact. And it's not that you're just, like, on the way to the show, like, let's pick up something at the store. Like, people thought this out. They took time to, like, paint things or put together things or sew things and really conceptualize these costumes that are so fucking hysterical and so niche to our brand.

It's just, it's hard to grasp. And it just is so flattering and it makes us so happy. And we have a couple of our favorites. but my personal favorite was two girls dressed up as a clutch and a pair of boxers, which is like a girl's going to eat deep cut. I don't need to get into it, but it's one of our favorite conversations from so long ago, but then we revisited the boxers recently. So it was even more relevant.

And then my other favorite was iconic men of GGE, and it was Azul, Dallas business card guy, Sparkle Eyes, and Short Zipper King. Iconic zipper king. And then just people dressed up as like blow gel and vibes old. and all of that. And us, I want to hear your favorites. My favorites have to do with you. A lot of Raina stuff.

Well, two girls just dressed up in hot pink body suits as the Raina. These girls dressed up as us. The albums we were to the last show. I don't know how they even did it. Yes. It reminds me of. Okay. Here's this thing that happened.

It's in the homecoming documentary. Beyonce is Coachella. Okay. And the documentary is filmed over both weekends in Coachella. You know, like two weekends, she did the same performance. And they switch back and forth. the documentary, you know, and you're just like, this is crazy. And obviously in the second weekend, someone wore her full outfit. Okay. From like the first weekend. And Beyonce calls her out.

It's in the documentary. And she goes, how'd you turn that around so quickly? Like, I almost felt like that. Someone literally got our Atlanta outfits, like from the last show from a week ago and wore them. They fully nailed it. And they were Rayne and Ashley. But, you know, tell people it felt like, also these girls dressed up as my hair extensions. And it was unreal. They just really ran like all black and they had hair extension just glued all over their bodies. Like just chaos all over. And I just really blew us away. Are you gonna say another one?

Yes, Raina. Oh my God. Okay. These girls dressed up is my original boobs. Okay. Each girl was a tip and they pulled the photo from my first boob job, so many boob jobs ago that I posted and I had these like medals. I had like a gold metal hanging from each nipple and they like had the metals on top

of the nipples and it was huge boobs. Two girls in huge boobs. It was insane. We'll show it. Let's show it on YouTube. We'll show all this on YouTube. Yeah, we'll show as much as we can. I just, I want to say thank you again.

It's just to look out and see thousands of people over the weekend, spend so much time and energy to dress up, really adhere to this theme and want to really base so much on us. We saw so much Travis and Kelsey and Barbie and really creative stuff. So much snack stuff. Yeah. Just couples really got into it. It's an honor.

It never stops being an honor that you guys want to do this. It means so much to us. And if you are really excited about dressing up, you can dress up for the holiday shows. People do it all the time. We have said that lightly over the years. Like, dress up if you want. You want to be like sexy Santa or an elf or sexy Mrs. Claus or whatever, a candy cane, reindeer, whatever you want to do.

You can dress up. We've seen it a lot. A lot, especially in New York. So we're going to dress up. We always dress up a lot. Maybe I'll do like a costume, but yeah. I guess last year I was that owl. You were the goblin king from the labyrinth.

Or what's his name, Harry Potter's owl? Headwig. Headwig. Remember I went a week getting messages about Headwig. It was like, what does this mean? I thought Goblin King. That's my first one. Jared Fried just called me a snow owl and then people came in with Headwig.

I was that owl. It was so funny. Well, as it stands now, we have three more shows until the end of the year. So that is San Diego this week, Toronto, December 8th and New York, December 10th. And then full transparency, we would probably not tour until the fall next year. So this is it. That is all, folks. So many of you said that you had just come to your second, third, fourth GGE show.

And thank you. It's like such an honor. We know you'd love to come. We're going to take a little break and just let you miss us. But these are your last opportunities. So we can't wait to see you guys there. And what we'll be working on in the meantime is this podcast, but also Vives Only. And we are so excited to announce a couple new things today.

I cannot believe I finally get to do it. I am so thrilled. So we have really amazing stuff for the holidays with Vives Only plan for you guys. but our newest toy is the Debbie. We will show photos of it. It's on YouTube. I'm holding it. It's actually been sitting in my lap like my child.

How are you, how do you even have it that close to your clit and not be suctioning it in the Debbie? I already used it today. Not the one that's on my lap. It's been hard for me to not use it down here. But this is a new air pulse vibrator. So we have the Raina, which you're familiar with,

and it has an air pulse suction on the other end. It also vibrates. This is a smaller version of an air pulse. It's little. It's sort of like a donut. And it has a beautiful rose gold finger loop. It's really, really easy to hold when you masturbate. It's great for traveling.

The size is just so little and compact. It's so cute. Like when we saw this, we were immediately attracted to it, just of how cute it is. That's the color that you guys are seen. And it's this beautiful lavender. And it's so soft, as always. We have like the softest silicone in the game.

In the game. In the game. It is our first purple toys. So we have some new purple stuff coming out as well. but it is so soft, it is so easy to hold. I use it literally every day. And my favorite thing about this Air Pulse is the actual sucker on it is a larger hole than I've probably ever seen. Like, it's a pretty significant size hole.

So where my big click girls at? The rain is a perfect size, but this is bigger. It really vacuums your whole clit in there. Yes, but no matter what, even if you have the tiniest clit on the planet, it'll go in there and it'll suction around it. So it's perfect. for all sizes. One size fits all clits.

You have thousands of nerve endings in your clitoral region, and it's going to suck them all up. So I love it. I've never had an orgasm like this in my entire life. I black out from the orgasm. I see stars. No man will ever be able to satisfy me the way this can. I don't know how to explain this to you.

I love all of our children. All the toys are wonderful. Of course, I'm partial to the Raina, but this is my favorite toy we have ever come out with. I love holding it. Oh, my gosh. It fits in the palm of your hand. you can toss it in your bag, take it for overnight trips, take it on the road.

I just, I can't say enough about it. It's so amazing. And I just said to Ashley, does this have some, like, crazy mega, like, battery life on it? Like, I've never had to charge mine, and I've had it for two months, and I'm not promising you guys that you will never have to charge it, but it makes me get off so quick. Yeah, I mean, it's technology. It only has one motor, you know, the rain as dual motor, which is incredible. But this, you know, charges quickly, and it lasts a really long time.

and that's our little Debbie. That's our little Debbie. It is available for sale today, all through the holidays. It might sell out pretty quick. I don't know. Check it out. I think so after. It's the best orgasm I've ever had.

That promo you just did. It's the best organ that I've ever had. It's not even close. Okay. I love all of them. Okay. We just continue all of other toys. Our other business partners, like, why aren't the other one selling?

Or like Raina went too hard. All right. I'm going to jump in here. I'm supposed to like the Rain and the Ashley more, but I don't. I love this. So anyways, vibesonly.com. And then Ashley has some very exciting stuff to tell you about, too. Well, it's a lot of exciting as that.

But we are introducing new packaging. We rebranded, did a makeover, glowed up our packaging. We are so proud of it. Same incredible formulas you've always enjoyed, except now our former blow gels are now the suck and blow gel. And they are vulva friendly. And the two flavors we have for the holidays are sugar cookie and the peppermint paddy. And we've wanted to do these for so long.

We were talking about this last holiday season, like, what are we going to do? So we've taste tested so many different flavors to make sure that they're perfect. So the peppermint patty, suck and blow gel, oral enhancer for everyone. And it is going to be minty, but it's not going to sting or anything crazy. Yeah, it's subtle. And then, of course, the sugar cookie, which has a note of our vanilla frosting, which was our top seller for so long. So it's going to be that sweet taste, but it's different. It's not the same formula. So that's going to be your sugar cookie. If you want one of those flavors, we probably still have pumpkin spice left over. And those are the three flavors that we're going to have for the holiday season and this beautiful

Ombray packaging. We love an Ombray. These are 3.2 ounces, which is travel safe for TSA. So you can bring these on the road, never have to worry about that. And I just want to say, if you're new to the show, you've never heard of this before, these suck and blow gels are really great to just enhance any oral experience. Maybe you love oral, but you're looking to like make it more exciting. Maybe you hate it and you're looking for a way to make it enjoyable. You just put a drop of this on either of all our penis and a little more than a drop. You've got a big dick. bubble drop, but it's the same consistency as lube. It's nice and easy to use. You're not drinking it or anything or, you know, whatever. No, Raina. You cannot use it as a food product.

Okay. Slurper it down on that dick or that pussy. Don't put it on your ice cream. A little bit on your donut. And then the juiced up lube is in a squeeze tube, which we love that you can use it one-handed. So you feel like you need some lube, you're feeling a little dry, just reach over and just squeeze it instead of having to like finagle a pump, which our other loop was great, too. I could use that one-handed. But this is easy. even easier. And we just love the shape. We love the color, of course, the packaging. And this is also going to be TSA approved travel size. You can bring all these products with you, vacation, honeymoons, girls trips, whatever you want to do. So we have the new packaging for the juice stuff. I love

the like vertical copy printing on it. It really does. Everything just feels a lot more chic and the same formulas that you know and love, except of course, Volvo's safe now for the suck and blow gel. And that was a journey to come up with that name. And I, what do we think of? I feel very proud that I did it. What did you say that I was like... Absolutely not. Suck sauce. Suck sauce. So we all try to like brainstorm these ideas and no one's like insult the other

person. I was like, how can I tell her that this doesn't sound on brand? Suck sauce. Sucs sauce. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Naming that was like a real journey because it has to imply sucking dick and eating pussy and we want to keep it somewhat elevated. You know like blow gel was so perfect.

And so this is great. just suck on that clip, blow on that dick. Actually, you're not blowing. You're sucking no matter what, honestly. I can't even remember when that was. I was in Pittsburgh when we were developing that. So we've been working on this for a long time, on the new flavors, the new packaging. So everything we've done is always great for a gift, but this is even more beautiful. It just looks really chic and a high end. It'll be a perfect gift for yourself or somebody else.

Okay, so while we're here talking about orgasms and whatnot, I do want to share a story with you that I totally forgot to tell you last week. You know, I love a story. You don't tell me? So this was about Sparkleized Birthday weekend. something that happened right when we got to Malibu. So we had some drinks while we were waiting for our room and then we check into our room. And of course we just get down to it. Like we start having sex, whatever.

So we're having, thank you for explaining me what we get down to him. And then we just started kissing. And we had sex with each other. Yeah. So we started having sex. And it was going great. Everything was hitting. And if you want like a visual, like check to YouTube.

He was. That's where we released our sex tape. It's just on our YouTube. Just a clip. We knew you guys weren't watching. Just a podcast clip. Yeah. Are you even watching?

He was on top, just so you know, what position we were in. I'm trying to give you a visual. And I was like close. You know, like we were just like all horned up. We're on this trip. Like the waves are crashing. You know, like I was like getting there. I think we both were.

So we're like getting close. And I swear to God, Rain, like, I was like about to come. And I hear another woman. coming from the room next door. Raina, to be almost about to come and then to hear someone else coming, Sparkleyes would describe it as a combination of Jennifer Koolage and a seagull. Is how it sounded. No. But also.

But Raina, now do it if she was a seagull. It was awful. Why are you... Like, I can't imagine screaming like that. It sounds fake. It, like, reminds me of those couple scenes in Sex and City where Samantha was just, like, screaming. Like, I'm a louder person. And also, if that's what you're into, good for you.

You know, you're a screamer. So I was like, oh, my God. Like, we just stop. We're frozen. And I go, oh, my fucking God. And then, you know me. Like, I immediately am like, oh, my gosh, what if this is like, this, our whole trip. This is going to ruin the trip.

Like, I start spiraling. We stared at each other like stone cold until she finishes. You stopped having sex until they finished. And then we started giggling. And then we were just laying there, you know, still being penetrated, just laughing about this. And then we were able to start back up and like finish. But I could not believe it. This has never happened to me.

Once in a while, I'll hear a bed pounding against a wall. And I've heard people when I'm in the hallway of a hotel, but never in the middle of sex. and you were so unlucky she had a bad cum sound because if she had a good cum sound would have made it really hot. That was just what I was going to say. Like I was thinking to myself like if this was like a sexy woman coming like

anything sexy, I told you one time I overheard our friends having sex and I only heard her and I like lean closer to the door. We were all in the Hampton so it was like what was that? I hope to have sex with him someday. So it can turn you on and then you're almost like competing against each other but it was the least sexy cum sound I've ever heard.

That is so fine. And that's how we started weekend. And I had to tell you, I was telling him last night. We were on FaceTiming, and I was like, I forgot to tell Raina the story. I'm going to tell her on the podcast. And he was like, as Raina would say, it took me right out of it. He like knows your phrases.

I love him. He goes, what was Raina say? Oh, it took me right out of it. It did, but we got back into it. Also, just like to be able to laugh about that is funny. How do you guys have that experience? Thanks. You know that I like feel sad when I forget to tell you something.

One of the people that we know was talking shit on another person that we know, it doesn't matter, it's inconsequential. I was like, I forgot to tell her that shit talk that they had about each other. Like, I just feel bad when I'll tell you every single thing. And I feel like you get offended. If I'm like, the other day,

you were like, you didn't tell me this thing about this woman and I was like, I found out an hour before I told you. And you were like, you didn't text me right away. Okay, first of all, you did not text me right away. And then second of all, when you told me, you didn't give me enough warning. I didn't know what to do.

It was upsetting news. And your delivery was not, on part with what it should have been for how upset it made me this thing. You were like, you didn't tell me. And I was like, I found out an hour before I came to me. I was like an hour too late. Yeah.

We should be in the middle of the conversation. 100%. Let me just fake time Ashley into this. We are like a couple in that sense. If you tell me something, you just have to assume. I mean, you have to be like you absolutely cannot tell Ashley. My life will be over. And I'll still probably tell Ashley.

Well, there are, of course. private things, our romantic relationships, like, we don't share 100% of the things. That could be, like, embarrassing to our partner, of course. Rain and I have boundaries, of course. But it is funny that you say that because one time Andrew Collin was telling me something, and it was just he and I on the phone. And he goes, okay, so this stays between me, you and Raina. And, like, ever since then, that made me laugh so hard.

He just do. Sparkle has asked him some question that clearly, like, was instigated by something you had told me about him. It wasn't even anything private. It was like, nothing. And he goes, are you fucking serious? And I was like, do you think I don't know everything? Within most, sort of within reason.

We don't really have boundaries. Be realistic. Well, we'll talk about today. Boundaries are overrated. And one more thing. I got a few DMs about this, which it was on my Instagram, but, you know, you guys should be following. You should be checking my Instagram before asking me questions.

No, I'm just kidding. But people are like, is he a Libra or a Scorpio? People just have to know that stuff. Because when I said what his birthday was, and he is right on the cusp, but he is a Libra. And I thought he was a Scorpio when I first started dating him. And then I found out he was a Libra. And I was like, I was upset. I thought I was dating this sexy Scorpio. He looks like he would be a Scorpio. I think

you and I have a million Libre friends. Like we are attracted to Libra's. I know. And I'm so happy about it. And I ran it by Kelly. Kelly Knight, who's been on the podcast and she was like, oh my gosh, Libres are like the least problematic in the whole Zodiac. And he really is like the most balanced, steady person. Like he really is that person. And so I never really had this love for Libra like I do now. So anyway, people were asking me about that. And don't ask me, his moon and rising. We're still trying to work on that. I have not gotten the information I need yet. I mean, we have a crazy amount of Libra friends. Emily, Alana, and Ashley. Ashley, who works for us, who. Ryan, who also works for us? No. Ryan's a Scorpio.

Oh, that track. No. So anyway, if this is intriguing to you, you can look at my Instagram, Ash Hess, and I wrote on your bio, what your boyfriend's sign was. Yes, I wrote his... Sparkleized girlfriend. Sparkleized girlfriend. Yeah. Wife, Mama, Faith, Family, Football.

I said Libra men who knew, like, on a post and, like, the comments or a lot of, like, people talking about it. Yes, cute. And very few people even really have anything bad to say. Like, this isn't a thing in the zeitgeist. Like, who's ever heard anything bad about a Libra man? Nothing.

Not one thing. Well, also my ex who doesn't have a family. Also Libra. What? Yes, but you like him now. I didn't know that. I like him now. He has Scorpio.

Baby Jay is the Libra. I think, hear me out, Raina. He doesn't have a family. Who's to know about that birth certificates at? Like, his mom might have been like, oh, I think you were born. Like, he doesn't, he might not know his birthday. He just picked the first day of October. Find me the receipts. Find me the receipts. That's a work.

Honestly, if I pick a birthday, it would be around October 1st. You're not around. Is that his birthday? Yeah. His birthday is October 1st. Yeah. Fake birthday. Also Emily's, also Alana's. Birthday? Birthday. October 1st. It's a total fake birthday.

For him. His mom was all. like October 1st, I think. Because it's not around any holidays. It's not during the summertime. Like, it's hard for me to play on birthday parties. Everybody's away in January. If your birthday is too close to a holiday, nobody will do anything with you.

That's fair. We have some friends that are born really close or on New Year's Eve. Yeah. And they've Christmas birthdays. Well, you know how I feel. I always say like Capricorns grow up with this chip on their shoulder because they weren't able to be like celebrated the same way. If they have birthdays around the holidays, New Year's and things like that.

So much of who you are comes to like what your birthdays are like is, kids. I always had those summer birthdays. I would have them at the pool and things like that, but a lot of times so many people can come. They're on summer vacations and things like that. Like, I never got any sort of recognition during the school year. You know, like kids would have birthdays and like cupcakes would come in and stuff like that. School ended just before my birthday. Right. Summer camp started immediately after. No one was around. It was the first week of vacation. Everybody was just taking trips, living their best life. That's what I'm saying. Like, I think a lot of who we are is based on that. That's why I need so much attention now. This is why summer birthdays and

Holiday birthdays. Ugh. So October it is. I'll tell you two things that happened. One thing that's funny, and one thing you were there for. I don't know what it came over me at the Halloween show the other night.

You were Beyonce and I was Madonna. And you were like, I have this idea. We'll both do songs and we'll like dance. And I just was like, I watched the video for like a virgin. That's who I was. Madonna like a like a virgin. I was like, there's no dance moves in this. Madonna doesn't do a lot of dance.

She's not a general. Otherwise I would have like attempted to learn a dance. I'm just not a big dance. You're like a big dancer. You actually look like you know what you're doing. So I was like, you can have your moment. I don't care. Like, we'll do a song and you can come out and do a dance and I don't need it, you know,

because I don't know how to dance. But what did I say? You're going to want it. You did say. And also, I don't think you want to do something that I don't also have access to. But I was fine with it because I thought you would do a good job with it. But this always comes back to me knowing you better than you know yourself. I was like, you love attention just as much as me.

It's not about attention. You are going to want to have that solo moment. I know you're going to want it. And I just knew my heart. I was like, we're going to play a song and she's going to do a thing. And she's going to have no regrets. I didn't know. It wasn't about me needing my own.

I was just like, Ashton's a better dancer than me and she's going to learn the dance for this. And Beyonce has more moves. And I was fine with it. I get plenty of attention. I show my boobs at every show. I get tons of attention. That's true.

So I don't know. Tesla like hit the track and I like lost, I blacked out. I lost my mind. I don't know what happened. I was crawling across the stage. When I hit both of my knees and started crawling across the stage, what did you think?

I just was like, it like went longer than I thought to. Like I was like, she's still going. Oh my God, another eight count. Oh, and here's another one. Oh my God, she's still going. I just didn't want to stop. I was just like trying to hype you. I was up.

I was just like, let's go right for me. I loved it so much. Like, every time I thought you were going to stop. Like you kept going and test. I was like, test, I keep playing it. I was like, don't. Like, well, I was just like trying to like mentally be like, don't turn it off.

Just let her fly. Well, I knew there was a moment. I was trying to get to the moment. I was trying to get to the moment. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what came over me. I was like on my knees, just jumping up and down. So I got that Charlie horse later on.

You didn't stress. I was trying to give this guy a lap dance, and I got a full-blown Charlie horse had to walk off the stage. That's so bad. How many times you had to walk off stage this year? I peed my pants. I thought I was going to pee my pants the other night. So much funny stuff happened at these shows.

I mean, every show, but it's just like, we can't even pick a favorite thing. But that was probably my favorite thing was you crawling across the floor in this outfit. I mean, it just was perfect. You were proud of me. And I was like, she's so proud of me. She was like, look at her go. And I was just like, I want to make her proud. But I had this interaction with my mom that was like so funny.

We just socialized very differently. Her and I, we see the world differently. So I was trying to figure out my Thanksgiving plans. My brother lives in London. He's coming into town with my sister-in-law. And I'm like really lucky that her family lives really close to us, like a 15, 20-minute drive. So I love her family.

Which city you live in. We love her family. I love them. And I've been very close with them for about 13 years. So that's part of the story. Great relationship. Very happy. to be a part of their family.

And they are just my family at this point. Anything they do, of course, I'm included in it. Yeah. So I'm trying to coordinate with my mom what I'm going to do. And I'm flying in late on Wednesday. I'm not going to be there. But my dad mentioned to me that Tuesday night, my sister-in-law's family is having like a Thanksgiving dinner at their house.

So I was like trying to coordinate flights. So I text my mom trying to just like figure out what she wants me to do. I asked if for Thursday she was inviting my sister-in-law's family. She said yes. And they're also having Thanksgiving on Tuesday. I said, great, let me know if I can help. She said, you can always help, blah, blah, blah. I said, what time are you going to their house on Tuesday

or do you just want me to text my sister-in-law's mom to ask? She said, how did you know I was going there Tuesday? It's so accusatory. The language. By the way, there's no beats. Every one of these responses is when 30 seconds of the one before. So 20 seconds ago, she tells me that this is what they are doing on Tuesday. And I say what time you go and she says,

how do you know I was going there on Tuesday? And I said, because you told me one minute ago. I assumed you were going. She said, I just had the info from your brother that she was having it on Tuesday and why. I had not confirmed. What do you mean? What's happening? What else do you got going on that night?

My brother lives in London. How'd you hear about this? Right. Where'd you get this number? Right. She really hit me with it. How'd you find out about this? Like, I don't talk to all of my family members every second.

So she's like, I was just informed of this information and why. I said, what time? No idea. Why? Why? This is the dumbest interaction I've ever had with anybody, let alone a smart person. What do you mean? Why?

Because I was going to come? I'm just collecting information about where everybody will be all the time that I'm not included in. Right. Because I want to come and see you, right? Is that the answer? I'd like to change the flight and come home. And she said, oh, I see. I'll let you know.

She did not hit you with. I'll let you know. We did a whole episode on that. She's not going to let you know, sis. She's not going to let you know. I'm going to let you know. Your mom's like, oh my God. And she's so different than my sister-in-law's mom

because I was just like, I'm done with this ridiculous interaction. I'm just going to go straight to the source. Again, one of my family members of a very long time. So I just texted her and I was like, hey, I heard you have driven dinner on Tuesday. I just wanted to check what time it was going to be. And so she calls me immediately. And she's like, hi, do you want to bother you?

And you're on tour. I was going to send you text, but didn't want to be annoying. So this is what I, of course you're invited. And I was like, yeah, I was going to invite myself. Obviously, I was just going to show up. I didn't really think for one second I wasn't invited. It's just, it's funny how like different people react to different social situations. Like, especially like Mediterranean cultures, like Jews, Italians, Greek people.

Like, it's just come one, come all. Totally. And they're Italian and we're Jewish and everybody's invited to everything all the time. Totally. I love that. Yeah. So it just made me laugh. That's our family. I'll let you know what happens, you guys, if I go. Well, that'll be fun. So you're thinking of going,

you are thinking of flying a day earlier and going to that. Yeah, I'll come back a day sooner and stuff. Yeah, I'll come back a day sooner. Three nights max. I know. I'm trying not to fly it. That Sunday is such a brutal travel day. Sunday after Thanksgiving. I'm not trying to do that. Definitely not. Saturday. And also, I don't like missing a farmer's market today. Oh. You know what's so crazy that we were talking about is that like I lived in New York,

my whole life, 15 years. The Union Square Green Market, one of the biggest and amazing green markets in the country. I lived two blocks from it and I never went once. And here I'm like, how many days can I go to a farmer's market? I mean, it's a different experience. I would go, but like not regularly. I mean, also I was just always walking through there all the time, going to my workout classes, going shopping, whatever.

I mean, it's crowded. You know, it can be kind of like a cluster. It's not like a relaxing Sunday like it is in L.A. Thank you. Okay. Also, 50% of the time, it's freezing cold. Right. Totally.

Okay. All right. We solved the problem. We solved it. I have to tell you something. Okay. As I was parking today. Today.

Okay. I saw your hot neighbor on a bike. Okay. Was it a heck? And he was wearing a shirt, so it was a bummer all around. But I have concluded that just guys on bikes aren't it. Like on a cruiser, like a racing bike, you're in a stance, you're hunched over. You know, like, if you're into that, that's a different vibe than like a beach cruiser

where you're sitting up, right? and you're just like cruising because I recently rode bikes to Sparkle Eyes at the beach and I was like worried. Not worried. I'm not going to get the ick. I am in love with him. But I was like, oh my God, is it going to give me an ache a little bit? And it didn't, but like it's not sexy. No.

And I was looking at him like, this isn't sexy to me. Which is crazy because he is the sexiest person. He's pretty sexy. And Raina. He's so sexy. Oh, what, excuse me? It's crazy how sexy he is. My neighbor?

Oh, I thought you were talking about Sparkleyes. I was like what? Right, Tesson? Like, I'm glad you think he's hot, but that's a little... You look really uncomfortable and I was like, why are you being defensive about this? He is! Well, also, I wouldn't care if you said that about my boyfriend, but you... You doubled down a little too hard.

No, no, oh, I was talking my neighbor. I mean, I find your boyfriend very handsome in like a brotherly kind of way. But anyway, for a minute there, I thought we were both talking about Sparclubs. And then I went too far. I find him very sexy, but I have realized that nobody looks sexy. I don't know. I think women look cute. It's like giving the notebook.

Like, I think we look cute. on beach cruiser style, like sitting up right? But I think guys don't. And it was confirmed when I saw your smoke of a neighbor. Thank you. You were backing down. I was like, is she not seen him lately? He's so hot.

Right. Guys on bikes's not cute. I have to tell you two things about that. First of all, you got here at 140, and I did text him and say, do you want to come to take a walk to Arawan with me for lunch? And he said, I'm not free until after 1.30. So I'm glad that he's not lying.

I'm glad that you confirmed that it was post-1-3-1-30. 30 that he left the home. I saw his alibi. And then secondly, I was with him for briefly right before we went to Portland. And he had a shirt on. Boo. I rarely see him like that. And I got back to my house. I was like, was his hair a different color? Or was it always that color? Right. Okay. Yes. His hair. I just saw it. And I was like, I genuinely don't know because he's never had clothes on. So I've never looked that high on his body. And I was like, is it really possible? I've never looked at the color of his hair. I don't really either hair. Right. I mean, he's young. He's not like dyeing it for gray. Yeah. And I was like, I have a weird question. Did you tie her hair? And he was like, I did. I just wanted to like see how it looked. And I was like, I've literally never seen you with her shirt on. So I've like never looked that high up here on your head. So yeah, anyways. Yeah. I did see it now. Yeah. I was like, oh, his hair is darker. But yeah, I mean, you know, that's what I'm saying. And I, like, a wonderful time and felt like so attracted to like the experience like riding bikes with my partner. But like I've come to the conclusion that. no guy is going to be like sexy on a bike.

Probably no person. I'm over here just thinking that women look cute doing everything. They are cute doing everything. Yeah. What about like extreme mountain biking? Tessa felt that one coming on. Okay. So.

The way do you laugh at that? Guess who does mountain biking? Ryan. I wasn't going to talk about him. Let's dive in. There are three types of stances, right? You're upright beach cruising. You're hunched all the way over,

bet in half, biking, Lance Armstrong. And then there's like this midway between, but you're like going hard. Like I think a guy that's really mountain biking and he's able to handle the bike and go through all that is fine and sexy. And I think mountain biking is like a cool thing for a guy to do.

It is terrifying to me. It's hard for me to watch the video. And I'm like a biker. I love biking, but there's something, oh my gosh, like going downhill, fast speed. There's rocks. There's like woods. I can't. It's really stressful to me to watch.

He's always banged up. He's always, even when he like sends me videos of it and I know he survived. I'm like, I'm watching the videos, be careful. Yeah. Do you do anything bad to yourself? So I think if you're mountain biking, I think it's hot. If you're timid, I can't. I can't.

I can't. A timid biker. A timid biker. Nothing is more, more ick. Wait, what was that ick? You try to merge into traffic. They won't let you. You can't find a parking spot.

So obviously Sparkly's, like, listen to the episode. And he's a really great driver. He's taking his car to the racetrack. He drives a manual, whatever. We're car people. He's a car guy. But I just feel like ever since the episode, now every time he tries to merge and he doesn't get in immediately, he's like, oh, no.

Oh, no. He's like, I can feel you getting the ick. Like, he drove to Malibu and back. And I feel like he was like, let me in. Like, I can feel the panic setting in that I'm, I'm like, you're ick-proof. Don't worry about it, but that was gross. It's gross.

He did something else the other day that you said give me the ick. He tripped? He got cold. Oh, he got cold. It did not give me the ick. I can't stress it up. But yeah, he said he was cold. And I was like, ew.

And you were like, let's never tell Raina about this. It's gross. She won't think you're sexy anymore. Raina for a second there, I was like, it's too much. Even you were like, he's okay. And I was like, is she talking about my neighbor? What's happening? I didn't say he's okay.

I think he's the sexiest. I hate this. Okay. Okay, one quick thing, I wanted to give a wreck for my new favorite show. It's really your whole personality. I can't stop talking about it. I talked about it like two out of three of the live shows. And our publicist, Ala, originally told us about the show.

And as she was explaining it to us at a lunch in New York, I could not believe what she was saying. You couldn't wait to leave the lunch. And it's naked attraction. It's on max, but it's like a British show. It's not like an HBO original. This would never come out of the U.S. It's just too much nudity. It's people that are getting matched up and they meet.

There's one, like, dater, and it's like they have straight women, straight men, buy, and gay. Like, they have all types of people. It's very inclusive. But if it's like a straight woman, for example, like Miru and she wants to date a man, she's in front of like five guys that are all in these, like, pods and they're all different colors. So you kind of like can pick the people out and name them by their color, like blue, green, whatever. And she's standing there with a host. I love the host.

There's no gig. I want more in the world than to host this show. and basically they lift up the front door of the pods just to above their dick and they turn around, they can jiggle their ass if she wants them to and they show their like full dick. I mean, it's soft, but, you know,

that was my first question was, are they hard? Close up, you know. Do you think they drew the line at hard decks? It's a little weird, like how they get there. They're jerking off before the door flies up. What else were they doing in there? I don't know.

Listen, the thing about the show is it's all this nudity, but it feels really well done and classy. I actually... There's naked people in a box. It's like they raise up this thing. You see their dicks. It's really classy and well-done. I'm telling you, you guys are to watch it.

I actually messaged Christina P. Because we were on your mom's house. And Christina and I got talking about how much we love talking about dicks. And dicks are crazy. They're just so fascinating. She was like, I could do a whole podcast in Dix. I was like, I'll co-host it. So we got talking about Dicks.

So I thought of her and I messaged her, like, I need to know if you're watching this show. And she was like, it's not horny enough for me. So I'm saying they like, it's not enough hard dick for her. Okay. It's not even that. I mean, again, I don't want to put words in her mouth, but like, it's weirdly doesn't feel that sexual. Even though they're talking about what kind of dick do you like in the bedroom, it's like something

about it doesn't feel it's sexual. And then they give all these stats throughout. Like I want to start exploring like some of these stats that they give. I like learning stuff. It's like one thing that said like 86% of women in a study prefer girth over length, women with larger labia, experience more pleasure. It was something about like guys that like have bigger balls can be better fathers. There's all these like crazy stats and like studies that they give throughout.

It's just like a great show with a lot of information. So anyway, lift it up, they show the dick, she sends one guy home based on that alone. He has not spoken. She doesn't know anything about him. And when they send a guy home, you see his whole body face. And they're like, this is Lance. He's a computer programmer from Berlin. Bye Lance.

Okay, so that guy went on TV, did not find love. Everyone in the world has seen his soft dick and he gets sent home. Precisely. If you're the guy who got sent home, matter what, six guys for your dick only, that is so humiliating. I know. But it's also not necessarily because it was like the smallest one. And you know what? I think women are so much more in tune to like, like women will be like, I didn't like his stance. Like, you know what I mean? Like the way he's standing gave her the ick. I picked the guy. I knew who she was going to pick. The hottest guy I knew from his dick from the way he was standing. Yes. And there's so many

tattoos. Like everybody has tattoos. And one guy sent a girl home because she didn't have a pedicure. He was like, I'm just a foot guy. And like for some reason she has her nails done, but not her feet. And went home because of that. That's me. The guys are way less discerning about the vaginas. Because there's teeny, tiny little vaginas, and then there's big pussies, there's inies, there's outies, and the guys don't give a fuck. It's nice to watch that too. Because you think about your vagina, you watch a show, you're like, wait, does mine look like that? Is mine smaller? Is mine bigger? And then you watch these guys be like, I don't think about that shit. So it's nice. Almost weirdly, the people walk away from the show and they're like, this was such an actual

positive experience about my body. So anyway, I'll wrap this up. They bring it up higher to right under the neck. So now you see their chest, their muscles. or lack of their stomach, their arms, and then she sends one more person home. Then they bring it up to the face, one more person home, and then that's two people left. Whatever, then they speak,

hear their voice, and then it comes down to two people, and then when she's down to two people to choose between, then she has to walk out naked. So then they're all three standing there, but naked, and every time the woman walks out, I'm like, I'm blown away

because the women's bodies are just, they're beautiful. I don't know what it is. You're just like, you didn't expect that. And I don't know, for some reason, When the guys walk out naked, I'm never as impressed as like the woman walks out. And you're like, damn, she's sexy. And the guys' jaws drop.

And then she picks one person. They go on a date in clothes. And then they show the date briefly. And then they kind of reconvene on like after or to talk about the date. Are they still seeing each other? Are they going to go out again? That kind of thing. And then that's it.

And it's quick. And they do two people per show. And it's usually two people of different genders or sexual orientations. And again, I love the host so much. I believe she's bisexual. And she just is like, it's just fun. And I feel like I've seen so many dicks. I'm seeing dicks on the show.

Like, I don't even know if dicks look like that. Well, that's why I would watch it to look at the vaginas and the tics. The vaginas in the tics. I know. And like what people are doing, people's piercings. Like, I'm just enthralled by it. And I'm learning so much. Anyway, naked attraction.

That's what I'm into. And I'm just like obsessed with the Golden Bachelor. It is so heartwarming. I feel like it's almost too much to handle. Like watching these like older women like go through like heartbreak as they're getting closer to the end and some are getting sent home. I feel it really in my soul. It's like, it's really such a sweet show.

These women have all really gotten along with each other. And he's such a nice guy. And so I'm just been loving the Golden Bachelor. But I'm like, I feel like it's going to break my heart. Like I think they're going to find love and it's going to be great. But like there's something that hits different. Yeah, of course. Those people aren't on the show for Instagram followers.

Yeah. Right. Oh. Like sugar bear hair care gummies. And they're all just, they're genuine. They're not fighting. You know, they're like mature women. They've been through a lot. I don't know.

It's hitting me in like a different way. Obviously, that's not a hot take. Aww. So anyway. We have a couple of Xeries. I know people want me to talk about the Britney Spears book. I haven't read yet. Tessa has it.

So Tessa has it. So I was like, people keep DMing me asking me to review a court of Thorns and Roses. I'm like, I'm reading it. I'm into the third book. I like it. I don't know how I was to review it.

I like it. Clearly I like it. So I was talking to Tessa and I was like, to be honest, I think she just took all the best parts of like Harry Potter and the Hunger Games and like Game of Thrones and just combined. it into one book.

No offense. I think she's a great writer. And I like reading her books. The concepts are very similar to all of those books to me. And I said, I think she just took all the best parts of those books.

And Tesla goes, like, when you come out with like a new vibrator, aren't you just taking all the best things from other toys that came before it? And I was like, I like blacked out for a second. And we went back and forth.

I was trying to explain to her why she's wrong. And I was like, no, no, no. So when we designed a new vibrator, we take everything in the category, we like lay it on the table and we say like this shaft is too long this is too pointy this is hard to hold we take all the best stuff and we like combined it we make a new toy and she's like isn't that what

this author did and I was like no it's literary stealing and she's like it's not really stealing she took all the best stuff and combined it and I was like don't you feel like that's kind of ripping people off and she was like you don't feel like you're ripping people off it feels different even like TV shows you're like I don't know the show is kind of like sex and city mixed with insecure for example like I don't know it's just everything's like still pulling from other things. Tess is 20. Like she's right. Nothing's original anymore. It's true. Like I don't claim that we

invented the rabbit vibrator, but I like the Allison that we sell and I think we took all the best parts of those and made a combined thing. And Tess is like, that's literally what she did. She took all the good stuff and left out all the bad stuff and made a new book. There's no more 100% original ideas out there. So something is always coming from something else. Tess is like she took all the good stuff and put it in one place.

You're welcome. Is that what we did with this podcast? Yeah. No, we are literally the original. We are the first women to ever talk about sex and dating. We do it the best. We do it the best. My feeling is that if you're not going to add anything new to the conversation,

what are we doing here? And I think we do that with our vibrators. Okay. It was very funny. That is so funny. We have two more wrecks for you guys, and then we're going to get into our topic. Just two comedy specials we really wanted to hype.

The first is our friend and a guest of the show many times, Heather McMahon. She has her first comedy special on Netflix out. It's called Sun I Never Had. And we just think she's so one of a kind. She's really special and funny and unique. And I love her command of the stage. And she's just so fun to watch.

Yeah, she really is different. And I think there's just a lot of sameness out there. And she really stands out to me. And I'm not a huge person that watches comedy specials because I really just like it live. You know, like us being live performers, me being a comedian, like just nothing ever hits the same. You know, we've seen comedy specials being taped

and we're like, oh my God, the energy in that room and then you watch it. And it's just, whatever, it's just two dimensional. It's just, it's a little flatter. And she just commands that stage, like you said. And I love her storytelling. You know, I have taken a little bit of a time off right now from standup as we're touring. And it's just a lot, I have a lot to balance in my life. And I'm not quitting, but I've just kind of taken a little bit of a break. And it inspired me to really lean into more of my stories because that's more of what I am better at. And I have like jokes and punchlines and observations, but I am more of a storyteller. Those are my best bits. And it just

reminded me that, like, you can just do that, you know, like, she's so incredible and it's all stories, you know, and like, my favorite story is, like, about my dad, you know, and that's my closer when I was touring, and she is so much about her dad. I'm in a different situation. Her dad has passed, and this special really felt like it was dedicated to him, obviously. But it's just, it was a good reminder to me. Like, you can do it this different way. You don't need to do joke punchline, joke punchline. You can build a whole career on amazing storytelling and unique stories that other people haven't had at all. And I just loved it so much. Like, I just loved it so much. Like, my hair part was probably when she was talking about studying abroad.

And she said, like, her sister was, like, running, like, military drills in the backyard. She was, like, nunchucks. Like, the fact. And then she was like, and my dad told me, like, Heather, you're going to be just fine. Because her whole thing is that she's, like, bigger and she's got these shoulders. And just, I laugh so hard with those military drills in the backyard and her dad being like, you're going to be fine when you study abroad. I don't want to give too much away, but I loved it. I was captivated the whole time.

I think it's a good point. I love storytelling. That is my favorite bits of yours, and it's my favorite comedians tell long stories. I don't need joke punchline. I can enjoy a little bit of it, but like, Nate Bargazzi is one of my favorite comedians. He just talks about his wife and his daughter all the time.

Like, that's his whole thing. He's like a clean comic. He just makes me laugh because they're like, just these long stories. She says, I also like Heather because she's not clean, and like she says like pussy and fuck. and like I love a woman that can just like say pussy like with her whole chest. And early in the special she says something about your pussy feeling heavy.

She's like it's full. It's not you don't know what's full of it. It's heavy. And I was like, I feel this like that feeling. And our friend Mike Feeney who has also been a guest on the podcast, one of our very funniest episodes early on has a new special out. June of 2019. Oh.

Oh. It was the hardest I ever laughed on the podcast. He is an amazing New York City comedian and he has a new special that on YouTube. Yes, it is Mike Feeney a night at the comedy seller. So he's obviously at the comedy cellar. It's the best comedy club. It's in New York. And it's 20 minutes. It's an easy watch. It's so funny. I've just loved watching him come into his own and release this. His crowdwork is hilarious. He's also unique. Like, he's a person I can think of his jokes. You know, they don't feel like everyone else's jokes. And he's just really different. He has such a good presence and such a good

energy. And he has, like, very funny, like physical comedy bits throughout. And he's, He's just brilliant and so funny, and I love watching it. And he's really blown up on social media with this like welcome to whatever city. And he does like a starter pack. And that's gone super viral and TikTok. And his special is wonderful. We love it. Yeah.

And you can just watch that for free on YouTube. So lots of homework for you guys to watch. Okay. So let's get into it. We are talking about, are you overcorrecting in dating? Yes. And this came about from this viral post on Instagram. that we'll talk about.

But basically we started talking about all this advice we're constantly seeing on TikTok and Instagram with rules and lists and boundaries to draw with everybody that you start dating and relationships. And I have thought for years are we over-correcting? Of course, Ashley and I really believe in protecting yourself and having boundaries and feeling healthy and protected. But there's just so many, like, don't talk to him if he does this.

Don't ever go out with them if they do that. And it's just at some point you're going to be like, wait, why am I alone? It's like, because you wrote everybody off. because there's no one left in the dating pool. And I think that it's important to be able to differentiate between like real red flags and deal breakers. And am I just writing every person off for every single thing? Yeah.

I think that we're all for knowing what you want and what you don't want and having healthy boundaries, protecting your energy. But we couldn't help but wonder, have we gone too far? Go off, Carrie. Like Raina said, it was this first date list that just went totally viral. This was like, I think I saw the original video that prompted this was this woman. And it was funny, but she was with this guy who was going to take her to Cheesecake Factory. And she was like live documenting the whole thing.

Do you not see this? So it was basically this woman on this first day with this guy and he pulled into the Cheesecake Factory and she pulls out her phone and starts documenting the whole thing. And he comes around to like open her door and she's like, no, I'm not going. Like whatever. And so I think that started this whole day. list. You know why I couldn't watch it because I don't believe in anything that says bad words about Cheesecake Factory. I know. It's my favorite place in the world. Can't watch it. Yeah, that's an attack on you. But I'll just run

through the list really quick. The title is a list of places women refuse to go on a first date. And this was like compiled by women of the internet semi-anonymously. Number one is Cheesecake Factory. So I think again, that's how this is prompted. Applebee's, Chili's, Chipotle, Olive Garden, the movies, your house, any fast food chain. Buffalo Wild Wild Wings, Wing Stop, Red Lobster, a buffet, IHop, Denny's, the gym, church, definitely. Starbucks, coffee dates, ice cream dates, family functions, movie night, Netflix, Hulu, etc. I like that they specified. Somewhere that requires a long drive, bowling nightclubs, hookabar, a bar just for drinks,

Waffle House, and sports events. What is left? So when I first started reading this, I'm like, okay, chain restaurants. When I got to coffee dates and then when I got to ice cream dates and then a lot of Sporting events. Buy me a ticket to any sporting event. And then a bar just for drinks is like crazy to me. Insane.

So I don't know the originator of this and like how they compiled it. I'm not really trying to drag anybody. Like I'm sure someone just thought it would be fun to crowdsource this. Yeah, it's funny. And see what people said. But it went super viral. So we're going to talk about it. Those are the main ones.

Like the coffee date, the ice cream date. I mean, sometimes you're sober. Sometimes you just want to meet a person, see what they're about. Like, you know, we've always said you could get a coffee and take a walk or whatever. And then like the bar just for drinks like blew my mind. I mean, I don't know. I probably wouldn't want someone taking me to one of those chain places on a first date unless it was like some funny thing. Like if a guy took you to the Cheesecake Factory on the first date because they listen to this podcast and they know it's your favorite restaurant,

that's your man. I would love it. That would be my person. There was one of their places sports events you hated. An incredibly expensive day out together. Yeah, that sounds amazing. There's also nuance to this too where I wouldn't go to a football game with a stranger, and be locked in for three hours. Who knows where the rationale came from? I mean, some of these are crazy. Family functions, obviously, you know. Movie date at home, I'm probably not going to somebody's house on a first day.

Depends on the buffet. What's the buffet? What's our place in Denver? Oh, Abba. No, not Abba. Abba is Austin and Chicago. Softa. Softa.

Well, Abba means father and softa means grandmother. I took you over so many years. I don't remember. That breakfast brunch buffet at Softa, I'll go there in a first day. It's like $75. It's not the golden corral. Right. But they're probably talking.

I would do that. As just jokes. Also, I don't know where these people live. 70% of the country doesn't live in L.A. and New York City and have access to a million new American cool, hip, fun restaurants. Like some people, this is all you got. A hundred percent. I mean, yeah, like I'm thinking of, I mean, I remember my high school boyfriend.

He took me to her a lobster. I was like, how rich are you? Literally. are you the richest person alive? So the Shadron posted it and I did like the first comment. Well, a few of the top comments, the first one said, I can honestly say that the majority of women don't think like this. Someone said, this is why y'all are single. And then someone said, please don't speak for all of us because personally, if I'm meeting a person and they happen to be from an app, I'll choose a nice public place like a coffee place or Starbucks just so I know if they are who they say they are. Also, Waffle House Denny's, I hop, Chili's, Applebee's are great for our stays. The holidays are coming. Maybe people want to say money. I'd love breakfast food. So just thought of sitting down and having a conversation while enjoying good food is all that I need. With this mentality, it's really sad. Y'all are ruining the dating game for some of us that can find joy in the simple things.

I mean, we don't take this too seriously, by the way. It's just to us, it's a metaphor for like, we can't just be writing every person off for everything. I think about the people I've really loved the most deeply in my life. And if I had written them off for really small things, I would have missed out on a lot of really good experiences. And I also don't want these things to apply to me either. And I was talking to somebody who said to me, like,

this is a very niche example. But he said, like, I would never go out with a girl who, has a photo for her on her Instagram of getting stripped on. And I was like, but there's 20 layers to this. It's not like I went to a strip club solo.

And then took pictures. Right. I'm on stage. There's thousands of people there. It's fun for everybody. No one's pants are off. There's no body parts out. It's all in good fun.

I also was single when I did those things. Also, I don't need to justify anything. But there's layers to everything. So like, I don't want somebody to apply these hard fast rules to me either because I am a layered, nuanced person, just like everybody. Yeah.

100%. I mean, I shuddered to think of had I written off my now partner, which I don't even know where that would be. You know, I don't want to say that he did some crazy thing. But, you know, there were a few things like early on that I was like, first of all, I didn't expect this person to live across the country for me. You know, I didn't think I wanted someone that was younger. You know, I thought I wanted this like kind of different type of person maybe in terms of like what

I was sharing that I wanted with the matchmaker and things like that. And, you know, there was just little things like that. He's been so wonderful. He's just been more incredible than I could have ever imagined. But I guess there was a couple times earlier on where I was like, I didn't think I was going to be with him. I thought we were maybe going to hook up on the road. So I had to reframe how I even viewed him in my own mind to be like, wait a minute, I'm going to date this person. So anyway, I say that just to always come back to my quote, like, it may not look like what you thought it was going to look like. I think about that with my ex too, who I don't regret that relationship at all. I was in love with him. You know, that relationship taught me so much about myself and relationships and the world. And And so I don't regret it at all, even though it had a lot of ups and downs and it ended. But those first few weeks with him, I was like, absolutely not. Oh, my God, I cannot be with this guy. And then I just let it go. And so I literally shuddered to think, like, what if I would have gotten in my head about some of those things?

Are some things a real boundary of theirs? Or they're just somebody being alive. And you were on Eli Rallo's podcast and she said this thing and we can play the clip. But so one of the things you talked about on the podcast is just these really viral lists of things. never to do or always to do any of these very hard, fast rules. So I'll come back to that, but we'll play the clip first. Yeah, I loved her conversation. She articulated what I was trying to say so much better than I could. I think she's so brilliant. And it's a compliment to us also, which I was super flattered by, but the way that she put it, so we'll just play it's like a minute long.

Yeah, I think the other thing that's really comforting about your podcast in like the grand scheme of other dating content is like a lot of people that talk about dating on the internet say, these are the things you have to do when you're dating. Or here's what absolutely to never do. People really like those like hard yes, hard no. But I hate it. Yes. You're better at like describing this to me, actually.

That's exactly what I'm talking about is like these rules and these lists and these things that are super like marketable and like shareable, but they're not real life and they're not really how humans are. So that's exactly it. I'm glad you kind of brought. That's what I'm talking about. It also makes me feel like sometimes I'll see something like that and the person will say something like not to do.

do that I definitely did and I've been in a relationship for almost three years and we live together. And it like kind of breaks my heart because I'm like it makes me feel like I failed. But your podcast and the way you guys talk about dating, the way you talk about dating makes me feel like, there's always an exception to the rule. You guys might be giving advice, but you're always like, you're just so like encouraging and open about those kinds of things and like open to nuance and like difference in opinion. And like you guys kind of like aren't afraid of that. Whereas like other people, it's like, is this even dating content or is this just like viral? Like you know it'll go. viral. You know what I mean? So I think it was so well said. I want to say two things. And I do

want to tie back to what you were talking about with Sparkalize. So first of all, it's so interesting to me that there's these like lists of like, do this because dating advice is the most one size fits one thing in the world to me because we all have different goals, right? Like we say all the time, we don't really want children. So we date in a different way than somebody that does want children, dates and has different boundaries. And I just, I don't think that you can take a piece of dating advice and apply it to the general public unless the advice is just like be safe, feel protected, have boundaries where you feel comfortable. Like other than that, dating advice can't apply to everybody because nobody's the same. And on top of that, you and I see these lists that are like,

do this thing because it goes so crazy? And I see people saying them. I'm like, do you even believe this? This is so hard and fast. And the thing that I tie to sparkle eyes about is like, he is seven years younger than you. And it's a significant age gap. It's not one or two years. And I think there's content on the internet that's like never date a younger man. I'm not trying to babysit. I'm not trying to raise a man. I'm not trying to pay for everything. What do you? Like, I think that there's like, I've seen stuff like that that's just like, what are you crazy? And it's just nothing can be further from the truth. Well, it's like, yeah, that's clearly not our dynamic. But also there's this like only date younger guys, you know, on the flip side. And it's like people are projecting their

own life experience, their own thoughts and opinions. And I think that like they're not taking the human experience into a cow. Right. And yes, you're right. Like, Ray and I've said this before, and I don't want to be repetitive to our bad dating advice episode, which we did recently. I don't know if we fully unpack this, but like, there's people I see out there that, like, they're getting a lot more likes and chairs and downloads and attention than maybe we are for whatever reason and they're blowing up. And I'm like, I could just never do that. I'm not name my names, but I'm just like, that's not authentic to me. Like, when you see that, because it really is content that is really popular, that is really going to blow up.

There's a reason. I see you. of these people give us advice and I don't know what their background is either. So like you said, they're shooting from their own life experience and I don't have their life experience. So if somebody comes from like a ton of money and they don't want kids either and they're like, write everybody off for every single thing and it's like, well, I don't date like you do because I want kids or because I didn't grow up with an endless financial net. I do need to look for somebody that can help me financially and meet me halfway. Like I can't date like you and just write every person off for every single thing. Yeah. And listen, Ray and I still can't be like inclusive

to every single type of person in the world all the time too. We're still speaking from our experience. But I think we try our best to be like, but hey, if that doesn't work for you or that's not your life experience or that's not how you feel. Like, I think that the nuance is so important. And I think that you really have to get some of these lists and rules and other people's preferences out of your mind

when you're dating and like Decipher, does this thing or this behavior actually lead me to believe they're a bad person or they're manipulating or they're lying? Or is it because someone else in the internet found it unattractive? You know? And also, like, what are their credentials? Right. Is this just somebody just talking? Yeah, which is also fine.

Like, if it resonates with you, it resonates. Like, I don't know who said that thing of like, the one thing is that they have to be sure about you. It's like, I don't know that that was any sort of dating expert, but that resonates. Like, I'm not saying that. Rain and I don't have degrees. I think that we are full-blown experts. This is our business. We've been doing this for five years.

We've interviewed everybody in every area of a relationship. So we have so much information. We've read all the books. We have so many different schools of thought. Like, I think we're... better than a lot of people that only have one path that they've been down in some ways. So I know that we're experts in this and we're super credential, but that's also doesn't have to be that. You know, some people can just be really smart. They see the world in a specific way. I think

Jared is one of the best people out there giving dating advice and he's not claiming to have any sort of degree in it too. And so there's something to be said for that too. But I think like, don't put all your eggs in the basket of someone that's just talking. Yeah. And I think sometimes people can just say things with enough confidence that you're just like, should I be doing that? Like, even Jared and I go back and forth about stuff where he's like, absolutely not, never do that. And I'm like, I'm fine with it. I feel fine with it. It's worked out for me.

That's your experience. That's how you see the world or people you're dating. That's not my experience. I think he's great and so smart and usually right. But I don't always agree with him. And so, like, you don't have to take every piece of dating advice. The thing that you saw that said like, you just have to be with somebody that's sure about you, it didn't resonate with me as much, but it really resonated

with you and it helped you to sort of like decipher the nonsense. And so I just think that like some people like Eli said or I don't know if you said that in that clip, but like they feel like there's something wrong with me because like I'm not hearing all this stuff. I was just going to say that. Like she has a great relationship. She's been with this guy for three years, three plus years. And she's like, I didn't do all that. I mean, when I went on her podcast, I also applied this conversation to like when to sleep with someone. It's like, come on. We're not going to hammer this again. We talk about this all the time. But we still get asked it. constantly.

Like, people want the rules and we're just like, there's no rule. Do what we want. Yeah. There's, I mean, there's not, I don't have to say.

We, Ray and I both had relationships to people that we had sex with the very first night. Yeah. So, the hour we met sometimes. So I just,

I think that we've gone a little far and it's good to just remember that like, while a lot of this is well-intentioned, it is also very clickable. And that's why people post it. And if it's like, good advice you take something from it,

great. But like, I don't know. I don't think we can all date with like every single, boundary in place and every single rule and I only do these things and it's so rigid because all we do is just write everybody off in the world and I would not want those things turned on me either. Yeah, like everything can't be a red flag. Everything can't be an ick. We talked about this

obviously with Jared with the icks like have we gone too far. Everything can't be a deal breaker. And if you're just scrolling TikTok or you're consuming all this content day in day out, it gets in your brain and I do it too. Like get me in a TikTok dating device rabbit hole. I'll be there for hours. Like this is not don't do it. But let's just remember like take it back old and just like, does this person make you feel good? You know, are they treating you right? You know, also people are not hardwired from the moment you meet them.

They change and they evolve. We figure out... Yes, they figure out what you want. They get new information. They grow up. They mature. So you could have someone that upon meeting them, they were different than the person

they end up to be weeks later, months later, years later, too. That really is so true. And also, oftentimes, they're just trained by the last person they dated. Yes, 100%. And I think a lot of this advice is very, early relationship, like early stage relationship, like where they take you on a first date,

how often they text you, how often they check in with you. Like, it's like, if he's not doing this thing, he's not into you. If he's not doing this thing, he's not good enough for you. And it's like, sometimes he's just doing the thing that the last girl liked. So for me, like, a boundary of mine is like when I have plans with somebody, I want to hear from you that day. I want to reconfirm that day. If you don't reconfirm with me, I assume that you are not coming.

You are a stranger and I'm not going to just show up. But other people would be like, I made a plan and I'm an adult. and I'm showing up like an adult. And that's what the last person they dated liked. And so they're not going to check in with you the day of. I don't like it. It's not for me. That's a boundary for me.

And I'll teach you how to treat me. Yeah. And like the cheesecake factory? Like the best restaurant ever? First of all, not all cheesecake factories are created equal. The cheesecake factory in Atlanta was one of the reasons I moved there. Like I couldn't even believe it.

It would be like rappers and athletes and just the fanciest cars pulling it out of the place. Like if you would have prop me there at 22, on a first date, I would have been blown away. So why? You know what I'm saying? Like, that shouldn't be a red flag. Maybe that person doesn't know what you like. And so, like, I'll pick a place with a 48-page menu.

And also one that's in a mall. We get to walk around the mall afterwards. A little old school Friday night date hand in hand. You guys, I love it so much. But I understand the sentiment. You know what I mean? Like, it's this chain restaurant. But for me, I've always said, like, a stranger from an app or whatever.

Like, I don't really want to sit down for a dinner in the first place. so I'm going to the bar just for drinks. And we said this before, like the cheap date thing. Like, I love the idea of just getting a coffee, taking a walk in the park. That's so romantic to me. That's like, we don't know each other yet. Let's even see if you look like your photos.

Absolutely. I've also seen a lot of divided advice, very specific, hard advice about, like, first dates with friends. If he invites you down with his friends, you are just a friend. He's... Right.

And then you've other people that are like, how cool is it that he wants to, like, include you in something? It's lower maintenance. Like, if somebody was like, I have tickets to a... football game, I'm going with a bunch of friends. Do you want to come? I'm more inclined to do that than a solo, like, football game date.

And I think that's cool and fun. But, like, other people would be like, he just sees you as a friend. Some people would say that's the best thing ever. Totally. If it's not a boundary for you, it's fine. And we just can't just be out here writing everybody off for every fucking thing. I know. And I think about this, you know, I don't know how deep people get into, like, astrology

too. You know, someone's on the internet being like, if he's a Gemini and his name is Brian, he will murder you in your sleep. if his name is Kevin and he works in finance, watch out. He is going to ruin your life. It's just like, and then it keeps into your brain. You're like, wait a minute. Oh my God, I spent this guy name Kevin.

He works in finance, but I saw that TikTok that had 8 million likes and I just don't know or whatever. And we talked about this with also some of the terms like gaslighting and narcissists that are just completely overused. And Nick Vile was like, yeah, the internet won on that. You know, the internet won. They took over. And it is so nice to have this information. we say all the time, like, I wish we would have had a podcast, like, hours to listen to when we were a lot younger, someone like Dr. Romney disseminating all this information for free on the internet.

You know, like all these resources we have to recognize these certain behaviors, but it has also been kind of an overcorrection. Like, everyone is not a narcissist. Like, everyone is not gaslighting you. And even something as little as ghosted. Like, I feel like people use that word wrong. Where it's like, ghosted means they disappeared. Yes. They didn't blindside you.

that ghosted you. I don't want to sound like we're coming down on people. I just think we get really fired up about this because we have compassion for people that are putting too much weight on this and then feel like they're doing something wrong. Totally. I mean, first of all,

I think that overusing clinical, like psychological terms, like narcissist and gaslighting robs people that have actually been through that of their experience. Yeah. I do think sometimes, yes, of course, sometimes people could really be doing that,

but they can also just be being kind of a jerk or they didn't like you that much. They're on narcissists. That's like a real clinical diagnosis. Right. I think that like, yes, it makes you feel like, am I attracting all these horrible, terrible people? No. It's not every person you attract is not a narcissist.

We had somebody tell us all of my three serious relationships were narcissists. I don't know. Maybe you should look at yourself. I'm talking about some terrible man, but it was a man. I think that we can feel like we are attracting all these awful people. And sometimes, I don't know, we just kind of picked wrong or these people were kind of jerks to us, but you're not some narcissist a gaslighting magnet. Yeah.

And I just always want to stress, like, Rayne and I are pro-boundary, you know, like we're pro-protecting your energy when you need to. But if you're a little younger and you don't know yourself as well, which is how it is when you're younger, my personal experience, which may not be everybody's was I just didn't, I didn't feel like I really knew myself till my 30s or, you know, 30 or like late, late 20s. So that whole time becoming an adult, whatever it is, you know, late teens, early 20s, college to 30 is like figuring it out. and figuring out what you want, what you don't want, what your boundaries are. So when you have all this stuff being shoved down your throat, it can make you feel like that's how it's supposed to be.

And all of a sudden, you're this person who has all these rules that you didn't really make for yourself. So I think it's just kind of like filtering what comes in through your own preferences and experiences. Yeah.

I love how you said that, by the way. It's just a filtering system. No one has a boundary more than me. And no one likes to make fun of X more than me. I don't take any of the same. So seriously, I just wouldn't write somebody off for an ick. And I think boundaries are really important, but I think it's important to differentiate between what's like a boundary

that makes us feel safe and healthy and what's just like a real overcorrection. Like a boundary for me is like I want to date somebody who I'm really inspired by what they do with their life. If I don't feel like day to day, I just feel like I love hearing what you have going on. You're not for me. But I'm not going to set boundaries. Like if he works in finance, he's not for me. I'm not going to be like this archetype, this whole thing, not for me. because my brother works in finance,

and no one is a better husband than my brother. No one is kinder to his wife and more sensitive and wonderful and warm. And yeah, you could say this is like some football player finance guy, archetype, but like that's the sweetest husband I've ever seen. Also, Matt, also your brother. But also just like a football player. Right.

Football player, bartender, you know, guy that's just got girls like throwing themselves at him all the time. Like couldn't be a better husband and father. Literally. Yeah. Love our brothers. So I'm just not going to just be like, leave him, fuck him, absolutely not, because I mean, you were going to write off the whole world

if we do that. I know. A lot of those comments on that first date list were just like, have fun being single, y'all. And I don't love that sentiment either. You know what I mean? So I want to be clear. Like, that can be an overcorrection too. Like, we're all allowed to have like things we do and don't like. We're also allowed to make joking content about it when it comes to X and these things. Like also, you know, that list was not the Bible. You know, it's just not to be taken so seriously. Right. Absolutely. But another thing I do want to say, about a lot of dating advice I see online is like so much of it is like

be a bad bitch and draw the line everywhere and tolerate nothing and I do think it's well intention I think it's meant to say like have standards and I understand that but it's almost like toxic positivity it's like just do this thing and don't take into account the background of people's lives

and be a cool girl at all costs and I think unfortunately for this type of dating advice like love is about the opposite of that it's about being vulnerable and letting people in and it's scary it's not about being the cool girl. It's about stopping being the cool girl. And so the advice is almost like counterintuitive to what love really is to me, which is like so vulnerable. Yes. I mean, there's somebody to be said, obviously, like we say when you first meet somebody, like you need to have your own shit going on and

you need to be cool and be busy. And I think we said this quote before, which I actually also got from Eli Rallow, but it was don't play hard to get, just be hard to get. This is like a thing that was around on TikTok. So this is like an original thing. So there's that. But yes, like love is about being vulnerable and letting your guard down. And this comes from internet advice, but also just comes from life and getting hurt and being cynical and being jaded and putting those walls up. We've all been there. Of course, we're all just trying to protect ourselves from heartbreak and whatnot. But there is this overcorrection there where it's like, be the baddest bitch, be totally impenetrable. And just like, you know, and that's like, actually, you can't fall in love that way. You can't. I understand

to protect yourself in the beginning, of course. But we have a girlfriend and she said to me, she's been dating this guy for a while. And he said, I feel like I'm not getting a lot from you. And she was like, I don't know how to manage this because, like, I want to be the cool girl. I want to be aloof. And I was like, he's telling you he doesn't want that. He's telling you he doesn't like this. He wants to know you. Yes, totally.

Yes. And then there's also, like, yes, someone is giving you these red flags and, like, reasons not to trust them. It's like, yeah, of course you can have your guard up. But otherwise, you should just get people the benefit of the doubt at the beginning. If they're being nice, if they are showing up in the way that you like, instead of just like, I'm going to be the stone cold bitch. And it's like, I don't know.

I don't really think that's what people actually want. People want to like know that you like them. And it's like a nice, like vulnerable safe space. And we're all for protecting yourself, but not to the detriment of your own happiness and possibility of finding love. Yeah, absolutely. Awesome. And also this also goes back to kind of what we've been talking about is I just think when

you are younger and figuring this all out, you are being shaped and molded by this type of advice and just make sure it actually resonates with who you genuinely are and you didn't just get into this like TikTok hole and other people are creating your boundaries and your preferences for you. Oh, he said that. That was amazing. Okay. Well, yeah, we just wanted to pop off about this.

And it's funny because puberty, which is this account, they did kind of a rebuttal, places for an acceptable first date according to men. And it's like sort of a joke. It's a joke. But some of them I don't know. Okay. I don't know also if it's supposed to be spooky themed. But anyway, so here is what if it's not.

Oh, wait. It says women did do places for an acceptable first date, and it's like picnics and all the stuff. But the men's one feels a little jockey, but, okay, graveyard, funeral, cemetery, strip club, movies, dark alley, hiking, arcades, Costco, cheesecake factory, comedy club, Lego Land, playing Fortnite in the basement, small romantic dinner, supermarket shopping, trampoline park, hospital, since this expensive. Corn maze, children's McDonald's, playhouse, crime.

scene a walk. This is where to knock on a date? This is places for an acceptable first date. I would do half of those dates for sure. Graveyard. We used to hang out in the graveyard. Also, they put graveyard and cemetery. Are those different things?

Isn't that the same thing? Of course, a man wrote this. A woman would never. Ashley's like, I found an inconsistency in the list. When we were in high school, we definitely drank in graveyards. I probably hooked up in one. Yeah. Costco.

I don't hate it. Solid. You have a Costco membership? Okay, go off. I know somebody that won on their first date at Costco. Corn maze. For him he's adorable picnic. Fine, cute. Tramoline Park.

That's hysterical. You know people are dying, take me to want to see those teddy bounce. No one's taking you to one of those things. They're like, I want to see that third set bounce? You end up with this, like, strong boob guy. He's like, I'd love to go to the trampoline park. Just wants to see your test back. I offer to go.

My man's like, we don't know. We don't need to go. It's not necessary. You're like, I love trampolines. He's like, it's not for you. Hiking, people would love that, not me. That sounds like the worst day in the world. Comedy Club, maybe not for a first date.

I like to be able to talk to somebody. I obviously did comedy for years at the stand in New York, and a lot of people would be on first dates. And I didn't mind it, especially because... You could make fun of them. Well, don't sit in the front unless you want to be made fun of. But I also think, like, if you're feeling yourself, it makes for, like, a really sexy thing.

If the comic is kind of, like, crowdworking you, and you can both handle it, and you're sharing your story. and, you know, it's like, are you guys going to fuck tonight? Whatever. But, I mean, the stand is such a vibe with, you know, you get drinks before, drinks after. Yeah, totally. And I don't mind it for a first date because if there is any awkwardness,

then you don't have to worry about it. You're watching the comedy show. And then you can see what they laugh at and you can still get to know each other before and after. Again, I don't mind it. Everybody's different. Yeah. Yeah.

But I just don't, you know, first date. First date, not for me. With a stranger from an app, I'm just having a drink. I just, I may hate you. That's all I'm committing to as a drink. Like, I'm committing to 30 minutes. You know, and then second date, if we're going on a second date, like, all bets are off.

Like, I'll do whatever. I'll do anything on any of these lists. Totally. From the comedy club to Lego Land to Cheesecake Factory to the cemetery. I used to be like, let's do anything. I'll go to like a food festival with you. I just want to meet you for one drink. I had a date the other night.

We each had one drink and I got the fuck out of there. Right. I don't want to commit to anything else. And I know earlier I was like, I'll go to a football game. But also it just depends on the day of the week, how I'm feeling. But most of the time, I'm just trying to have one drink. drink and go home. Yeah. I might hate you. Like, I hated that guy. But the guy here, I mean, we met when he was coming to my house to be a TaskRabbit, but we did go on a date and it was like

a coffee lunch. Well, that was your second date. The first day was the TaskRabbit. The first day he was at work. Yeah. Right. Our first date was like coffee. At your house. You did have a date at your house. Raina, it's not a date if I'm paying him as hourly rate. That's called a prostitute. It's literally, it's exactly a date. Every prostitute and every prostitute and every movie shows up and says, hey, I heard you called for a date. Raina, it's 6 p.m. It's your bedtime. I want you to leave.

I'm dying for you guys to leave, okay? It's right. I don't know how this happens. You come over 1.30 and it's like the sun has set. I'm putting my shoes on. It's right. It's right. It's bedtime.

I didn't even get to read my book outside. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode and. I really had so much fun doing this episode. I know. I've wanted to do this for a long time. I've really missed you. I have to see you tomorrow too. Yeah, and the next day.

God damn it, Ashley. It never ends. Yeah, we have a dinner Wednesday. Thursday, I get one day off from each other. Thursday and then Sunday also. Maybe. We'll see. Okay, guys, Girls Gotta Eat.com to get those tour tickets to our final shows and

Girls Gotta Eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok and Vibes Only. Get that Debbie. Get that little Debbie. Change your life. The new suck and blow gel and the lube and our new packaging. You're going to love that too. Vives only on Instagram as well. well, I'm Ash Hess. Raina is reina-dha greenberg and share this with a friend and live your best

life out there, dating, and figure out your own boundaries. Don't like TikTok do it for you. And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.