Girls Gotta Eat - How to Cum feat. Comedian Remy Kassimir

Episode Date: March 11, 2019

We're so excited (aroused?) to have comedian Remy Kassimir join us to talk about masturbation and cumming! At age 27, Remy had never had an orgasm, so she started a podcast about it and went on a quest to climax. She shares the details of all the attempts and how it finally happened, plus we dive deep into masturbation (including playlists and spank banks), sex toys, the complexity of the female orgasm, and more. We also catch up on Rayna's move, Ashley's recent foot-in-mouth moment, and share some hilarious results of our "Shallow Challenge." We hope you enjoy (and finish)! Check out Remy's podcast How Cum, and follow her on Instagram @RemyKassimir. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast and check our website for tour dates! Thank you to our partners for this episode: Postmates: Download the app today and use code GGE for $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. Rothy's: Go to rothys.com and use code GGE for free shipping. BioClarity: Go to BioClarity.com and get 40% off skincare routines plus an additional 15% off everything on the website using code GGE at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're still out here having guys fingering us wrong. Like it's so crazy. Like when a guy just like sticks his fingers up, I'm like, what are you doing? Are you 12? Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. We're back. Yes, we're back. I'm in good spirits today.

You are? This is the first time I've said that in like six weeks. I feel like I would cry. Oh, yeah. You were crying. We'll talk about it. Okay, last night, my friend also sat there and cried on this couch. What is going on this apartment?

It's the seat. Announcement Day. I'm really excited. Bum-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Oh. More live shows. More live shows. Okay.

Okay. So we are coming back to New York City. We're doing two more shows here. We're so excited. Obviously, this is like our home and we love it. So we're doing two shows this time in Brooklyn on April 29th and May 1st at the Brooklyn Bell House. It's a really cool venue.

It's in Gowanus, which is sort of like a weird area. It's like your old hometown of Brooklyn. Don't tell people I used to live in Brooklyn. Brooklyn's amazing. What are you talking about? I live in Manhattan now. You're so different. I'll probably move to Brooklyn.

Fuck Manhattan. No, we're neighbors now. I know, we are neighbors. But the Bell House is so cool. It's one of my favorite places to watch comedy in New York. It's a huge venue, really fun. So we're excited. Another New York City show.

But I know you guys want to know about new cities. So we have new cities for you. New City Alert. San Francisco. We're coming. We're coming. Finally, you can leave us alone. We'll come to the shows.

Yes, but actually come to the shows. San Francisco, if you remember from my travel episode. Ashley's fucked a lot there. Hopefully I will be referring to it to San Francisco. Again, May 29th is our show at Cobbs. What? Cops comedy. Cops.

They just call it Cobbs. Cubs. Cubs. And then while we're up there in the, I don't know, Pacific Northwest-ish, whatever, we will be doing Portland. At the Aladdin Theater. It looks so beautiful. Oh, new world.

The Tasley Place for you and me. That's not it. It's bad. Okay. Aladdin Theater, Portland, May 31st. And Seattle, Neptune Theater. Also beautiful. I hope I did those right.

I think that you did. Okay. I didn't switch them. Whatever. Neptune Theater in Seattle, June 1st. Yes. We are so excited to come to these. cities. This is the last time we're going to be on the West Coast for shows for quite a while.

So if you are on the West Coast, try to get tickets to that. We have planned most of our summer shows. We'll be releasing tickets for all those pretty shortly. But this is definitely the last time. We're going to be in the Pacific Northwest or California for quite some time. So if you guys are in the area, please get tickets. Portland and Seattle, especially on a weekend. So it should be easy to travel if you want to come for the weekend. Yeah, I know. I don't know. People from San Diego have been hitting us up. I mean, I'm always down for San Diego, but whatever. We don't know.

But yeah, California people, Washington, Oregon. Yeah, Canada. I mean, we had such a good time of Vancouver. It's so close to Seattle. Yeah. So come on down again. Yes. We miss you, Vancouver friends and fam.

We're so excited. Yeah, so excited. So, yep, those will all be in the website as always. And I think this week, as we record, or as this episode comes out, tonight, we have a show in Austin, which there should be a few tickets still left. Tomorrow show in Austin is sold out. Yeah. So tonight's the,

tonight's the 11th. If you're listening and you're in Austin, you're here for South by Southwest or you live here, come to the show. Allegedly, there should be some, some tickets still left, not a lot.

And then Dallas on the 14th. Yeah. This Thursday in Dallas. Maybe a few tickets still left. Just it's a massive venue. It's almost sold out, but there's a few left. And then there is still tickets left in my end.

Because Miami people do everything last minute. They're busy. They're on the page. April 3rd, Miami, Tampa sold out. Yes. So we're really excited. More cities announcing soon. You guys message us about a lot of cities.

We promise you we have all of our tours booked through the summer. So we're going to get you those dates soon. Brooklyn. Yes. Brooklyn, we go hard. Can't wait. No sleep tail. Okay.

So all the tickets, as always, are at Girls Gotteapodeepodcast.com slash shows. We'll also be in our Instagram story. any questions do you guys have about the venues email the venue there's a frequently asked questions section

on every website but if you're coming to the shows please send us an email and let us know if you've any funny is this weird psych or power move

this took a turn just let us know if you'll be at the shows we would love to use them yeah for sure if they're good enough they'll make it through Ashley's

performance review on the show today we have Remy Kassamir she's awesome we're going to be talking about masturbating and coming

coming. All right. So that's up. But first up, Ashley just got back speaking of Miami from Miami, and you have a story to tell me. Yes, I got back from Miami. My friend did a wedding there. When I was saying I was going to Miami, I was like saying I was going for a thing or whatever, but she did kind of this surprise wedding. And I'm just going to go really quickly what she did because I feel like people are like, how does she do this? People are like into this surprise stuff. Basically, they had this big party. People thought something was up. They've been together for a very long time. I think people were like, at a wedding, is an engagement party? What's it going to be? They had this big party at Nikki Beach in Miami. And basically when you walked into Nikki Beach, she was there in like a white, really pretty

classy dress and like had an engagement ring on. So people were like, oh my God, it's an engagement party, like whatever. And then we had dinner on the beach and then went upstairs to kind of the event, venue of Nikki Beach, also stunning. And then they welcomed everybody. They were like, we're so glad to be here with our family and friends. We put together a slideshow of a bunch of pictures we wanted to show you guys. And we hope you enjoy. So they start this slide show. and it's everybody, it's pictures of us and our friends and the family and everybody. It's very cute. It's like set to beautiful music, whatever.

And then it starts to vary. It started to be like pictures of just them. And then you're like, okay. And then a video starts playing of them getting married like three days prior on the beach, just the two of them. Like total private ceremony, they hired this incredible photographer, videographer to shoot their wedding. He had to throw that together quick. And then make this video.

So you basically got to see them say their vows and this like surprise video. and people start freaking out and realizing they were there for a wedding. And then they did like a first dance and then it turned in like a wedding reception. It was like really so cool. I didn't know how she was going to do all this. And so it was really cool to see.

So anyway, my friend Laura, she did a wonderful job. She's a great creative planner in that way. So they're married. It was really fun. I mean to tell you this. This is something, you know, I don't get embarrassed that often.

Right. The only time I get embarrassed is if I like do something to somebody else. I feel like that like makes them feel weird. I don't know. Me too. You're right. If I think do something and I'd, totally outside of what I would normally do to somebody.

Yes, or like made them feel awkward or hurt their feelings in some way. Unintentionally, I think I'm a pretty nice person. Don't go around hurting people's feelings. Okay, I got to tell you. So at my friend's wedding, there's a male relative there, a male relative of hers. He's like around our age, maybe a little bit older. And he has a wife. And so I'm talking to his wife at this cocktail party, whatever.

And in my head, I remember that I knew her husband through a friend of mine. I'm going to give her a fake name. Her name, let's say her name is Jessica. So I'm talking to this guy's wife, and I'm, like, thinking in my head, like, oh, I know him through Jessica from years ago. And then I kind of got confused. They actually dated. They were very, like, serious relationship, boyfriend, girlfriend, years and years and years ago. Okay. But in my head, I get my wires crossed a little.

And you know that, like, when I drink, I get confused. I'd had a couple drinks. And somehow in my head, I was thinking, like, oh, Jessica, yeah, the cousins, they know each other part of the family. He's actually like my friend Laura's cousin. I got very confused. Bottom line, I asked this girl, do you guys still keep in touch with Jessica? Right to her face. Her husband's ex. Her husband's ex. Do you guys still keep in touch? Like this is your small talk. Do you still keep in touch with your husband's ex-girlfriend? And you didn't even preface it with like, oh, this is weird. Like you just, you sat out like you were

so rude. I acted as in like she was part of their family. Right. Because I just got confused in my head. And so she gave me a weird look and just kind of like, I think she's nicer than me. I would have been like, what the fuck? It's so shocking that it's one of the situations you probably have no idea because like you probably looked like you weren't joking because you weren't joking. I wasn't joking. And so she had to, she really gave me a weird look. And I'm like, maybe she's just kind of awkward, whatever. And she's like, uh, not really. I mean, I think she moved to Boston. And I'm like, oh yeah, I haven't talked to her in a couple years. I have like, doubling down. Like I still have this conversation with her. And then

the conversation ending because we all had to leave the party and go to dinner or whatever. And then I see her in the bathroom. She kind of didn't really, she wasn't that friendly to me. She kind of like, hey. And I was like, gosh. She's like this fucking girl again. This fucking bitch. And so I'm sitting there during dessert and it hit me.

I was like naturally. Oh my God. Why did I? I looked at them. I saw them. They're sitting together. They're the couple. And I go, oh my God.

And I turned to Corey. And I told her, my best friend Corey. And I told her what I did. She goes, you asked her if they still. She's like, Ashley. Oh my God. And my face is red. I'm like shaking.

I'm like, first of all, thank God I realize this at the wedding. Because I'm not really close to this girl where I would send her a message afterwards. Like, oh my God, I feel, I'm like,

thank God I can correct this in the moment. And I'm like such a, like, I was just turned into such a pussy. And I was like, Corey, can you go get her? And Corey was like,

no, Ashley, you deal with this yourself. You're an adult. And so I had to call her over. And I called her over. I'm like, I am so embarrassed that I asked you about Jessica. And she was like,

yeah. I thought I walked over to her. Can you imagine the conversation with her husband where she was like, this fucking bitch. They talk shit on you the whole way. And she goes, I got to be honest with you. She was like, bottom line, that is the X that like she doesn't feel threatened. They're married. They have kids.

But if there's one X that like she would, it would be that girl. It wasn't like a rando. Like she doesn't care about this girl. But she was like, it's very funny that you said that. Because I'm like, are you serious? right now. This is like the ultimate foot and mouth. But like on her end, like I can imagine you saying this to me and be so shocked you can't have a normal reaction to it. Because like you were so serious. That's amazing. Like if someone said that to me like, whatever, give me an name, Emily.

Like if someone looked to me straight in my face and asked me so, do you and your husband still gave in touch with Emily? His ex? I'd be like, what? I would love to watch your facial expression specifically from across the room. No, we don't keep in time. What the fuck are you talking? She babysits our kids sometimes. Yeah. Anyways, I just didn't tell you that. It's so fine.

Miami was great. I love it so much. Guys, please come to our Miami show. We just love Miami so much. We want to have like a good time. I love Miami. It's one of my favorite. The last time I went,

I just felt like this is one of the best trips I've ever taken. It's just so beautiful. For me too. Well, other than our live shows, I'm never leaving the house again because I just got a new apartment. Oh my gosh. Raina finally moved.

I mean, we talked about you moving on this podcast a couple times, but it's, it happened. It finally happened. I have just been the worst version of myself for the last like six weeks, you know. I've just been, I haven't, I've been terrible.

Like, I didn't know if I was going to get this apartment. It's a co-op condo building, which is extra hard to get into. But yeah, I moved to this great building in the East Village. It's so fantastic. And I just love it. The moving experience is really nice. They didn't ask me to, but I want to just give a plug. I know, it's going to plug your movers.

So I used a company called Roadway Moving. They did the move in two days, so they packed and loaded one day, and they unloaded another day. So I don't have to feel so stressed. But my favorite thing was the second day. the movers didn't have anything to do for like an hour and a half in between jobs so they just stayed at my apartment and built stuff what do you mean built they took my bed like this is stuff I bought from like West elm they took all they broke down all the boxes they built my bed they built my chair they built my nightstand they just built all your stuff together they were like I'm not doing anything I probably shouldn't say that I don't care whatever they were so amazing I'm telling you they went above and beyond above and beyond I've never seen a crew of people like this four just big as fuck Russian men huge in four hours, none of them talked, drank water, ate food, went to the bathroom. They never stopped working. It was insanity.

Oh, and then they built me a throne. I was like, get the fuck out of here. You built you. You even talked in 24 hours. You built me a throne. He took some pillows out. He put furry pillows there. And he's like, he built me like steps up to the throne.

It was amazing. It's on your Instagram. I love it. Yeah, it's on my Instagram. You guys can also use my discount code. It's 3 and 10. Take 10% off. Oh, here we go.

Now it's an ad. Someone's going to be mad about it. It's a bad. Anyways, it was a great experience. I can't say enough about them. And you call them the four Alexys. I don't know any of their names, but we're texting. But is Alexi?

It's in a Russian name. Like, it's like saying like Ashley for like a white girl name. Yes. It's right. It goes to four Alexes. And I was like, did you just say? I don't know any of their names, but we're texting with one of them. Why?

Because he likes me. I don't know. What are your texts? He liked some of my artwork, so he wanted to know one of the things that I had in my place. So I was sending it to him. And I told him I'd leave them a review on Yelp. Anyways. Did you do the review yet?

He wants to see it. No. I had to unpack. I just moved in. You saw how much work I put into my place. Dewey, be quiet. Guys, do we's been out of control. Do we?

Okay. We made it. Okay. All right. That's enough about me. Speaking of tax. We're going to do a new segment this week up top in lieu of doing a game at the end. We're giving you the giggles at the beginning of the episode.

Yeah. We have a feeling it's going to be a longer one. I'm excited. And we want to... We want to touch base on last week. Yes. You guys. You took our shallow challenge to the next level for anyone who doesn't know we're talking about.

You should have listened last week. But we basically, my new thing was opening conversations on dating apps with Tell Me Something, Boy, which is the beginning of shallows from Starsborn and then kind of going through all the lyrics and seeing if people, A, catch on or B, just don't know what the fuck you're talking about, which was the case with most of them. But, yeah, everybody did it. You did it. You guys are so, so funny.

Oh, my God. You guys are so funny. Men are so stupid. Nobody caught on to it. Like maybe one or two persons people's boyfriends caught on because they've been trained. Or they watch the movie together. Right.

Because they were forced to watch the movie. Yeah. Like if I sent that to somebody I saw the movie with, I hope you would know what I was saying. Probably not, though. Guys are so stupid. Okay. So we picked a few of our favorites.

We got so many. And for the most part, there was a few of the guys that got it. We're not going to read those. Those aren't fun. But good for you. If you found yourself. you found the, if you found the jack to your alley, good for you. So, and then a lot of them

were just straight confusion. Just all confusing. Which were so funny. We posted a few on our story and we'll continue to do more, but we picked a few of our personal favorites. All right, we're going to switch off and read a few of these. So one of these girls, looks like her name is Jill. She invited Philip to start the chat on Hinge. And she says, tell me something, boy, Philip. right. Ha ha ha, what do you want to know? She writes, aren't you tired trying to fill that void? He writes, ha ha, what void?

She writes, or do you need more? He writes, this is the worst intro I've ever seen and I've seen some bad ones. Fuck you, Philip. I'm roasting her out of the gate. Okay, Philip. Fuck you, Phil. Fucking Phil. Filthy Phil.

Fuck you. Okay. Next up is Christian. Okay. She opens the text. tell me something boy you caught me right in the middle of masturbating okay aren't you tired of trying to fill that void why don't you come fill it for me or do you need more listen i just got to have a five-year relationship two months ago i need a nice hard kicky fuck with no inhibitions and i got a big

load of come for you like a lot well you're turned on for one you're trying to get his number that is it's insane i just got to masturbate i mean she said tell me tell me she asked you know what she asked she asked for what was she wearing what was she wearing okay this one god i love this so much again we obviously catered to the singles on this one and dating apps but a lot of you guys did do it with your boyfriend's husbands fiancees which was very funny and cute so thank you again for submitting that this girl claire she sent it to her man i don't know if you what their relationship is, but he's programmed in her phone with a heart, whatever. She goes, tell me something, boy.

He goes, patience is running thin. How's the gumbo? I don't know if I guess, whatever they made gumbo. She goes, aren't you tired trying to fill that void? He goes, what void? She says, or do you need more? He goes, what? Three exclamation points.

She goes, ain't it hard? Keeping it so hardcore. He goes, what are you talking about? She kept going. I'm falling. He goes, you're confusing. She goes, in all the good times I find myself long. longing for change.

Garrett, stop sharing location with you. And he was like, I'm out. This is so crazy. This is so hysterical. He stopped sharing location. I feel like that's very like unsubscribe.

I know. You can't exit of just one-on-one convo. You know, you could like leave a group chat. Like basically he left the chat. He was like, stop sharing location. And she writes,

what the fuck in all caps? This is so funny. I love it. I can't think she's like having a seizure. He's like, What is coming out of your body right now? Stop sharing location. I'm going to share my location with people just so I can unshare it.

Just so you can unshare it. Yeah, that's like keeping red receipts on. I love the memes that are like I turn red receipts on just so people know exactly what time. I don't give a fuck. It's so funny. Okay, next one. Okay, so the next one is short and sweet. Tell me something, boy.

I have webbed toes. What? I have web toes. Like, there is a buffet of information you can share with a person, and that's what he landed on. Good for him. Way to, like, come right out with a quirk about you. A lot of them were very funny. Like, this guy, one of them was like, tell me something. Boy, and this guy was like, I'm from Idaho. And I make a great chocolate chip cookies. Like, it was, they were kind of cute. This guy was like, you know, I liked a meal prep. So I just went to the grocery store, and I've been buying stuff to eat. and she was like,

and then he was like, you know, meal prep is just so hard. It's hard to, like, eat at the gyms. The food's such dog shit. It's like so, he's like, normally I go to Bojangles. It's so much information. I love when people can just roll with it. Like, I like the guys that you were like, tell me something. And they're like, okay, I have web toes.

Which is like this next one. This is very crazy. This is the MVP. We don't have the actual transcript, but one of our listeners sent a DM that said, Hi girls, absolutely love your podcast. Just wanted to share that I had my best friend do the shallow challenge to a boy she was exclusive with for two months. And his reply to tell me something boy was, I think I need to talk to you about something, which led him to break things off with her. I hate to laugh.

I'm sorry. We ruined your relationship. And then she goes, but it sounds like it wasn't great because she writes, so thanks for helping her get him to stop stringing her along. So, I mean, a relationship that probably should have ended. we helped end it. I can't get over this. Okay, take it back. You're welcome.

Tell me something, boy. We should break up. And we should break. This took a turn. Was not expecting this. I know. These took turns. These were so good.

Please keep sending these to us. This is hysterical. It's so, so good. And like I was hoping for other songs, but like I think this is the only song I want to hear. I know. We got a couple good ones. Someone did a really funny one, Shania Twain. Like something about welcome, coming, when I'm having a party.

And this, she just went back and forth with this. like I'm having a party and he's like, what kind of party? You can't wait to come? It was very funny. And then also, do you believe in life after love? He didn't, he didn't catch on. Who can hear that line and not start singing in their head? I know.

A straight man, for one. Maybe. He's definitely straight. Weed out the gays. That's how you weed out the gays. If they know what you're talking about. They're out. Mateo Lane would just start singing and belt it out.

Open with the share lyric. Just to make sure, just to make sure he's straight. I have a couple of girlfriends that are definitely prone to gay men. And so like I feel like this is what they should do. I'm picking one in particular. Girl, you know who you are. You date gay guys. So I think that you should open with this.

Yeah. Yes. I love this. Open with a share. Or Lise Manelli, I guess. Mateo would recommend Lise Mal. Bet Midler. But we love this, guys.

Keep them coming. This is so good. I'm sorry. This intro is like three hours long. No, it's not. It's good. Oh, it is. You're right.

Okay. All right. Well, let's get into it. I enjoyed it. Okay. So I'm going to introduce our guest for today. I am very excited. She is hysterical.

She is a comedian. She has an amazing podcast, which we went on called How Come, which we are going to talk to you about. She also is one of my favorite Instagram story creators. We'll talk about that a little bit. So please welcome to the show, Remy Kassimir. Yay, I'm so happy to be here. We're so happy. This reminds us of our old days when we would never get started.

You've been here since it's 4.50. You got here at like 3.15. Yep. I used to come over actually at like noon and we'd start recording at like 8 p.m. It's nice. We've been talking shit. It's been fine. It's been great.

Yeah. And also, I think before, like, when we did our recording, we jumped right in. And then afterwards, you guys stayed for, like, two hours. And I was like, we should have just done this two hours from the beginning. Yes. I like to. This has been, like, such a gift. We get to, like, meet people and hang out with people through the show.

Sometimes I'll say that, like, recordings went through. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, like, the sound fucked up. You have to come back. Is this my new move for dating guys? Come hang out with me. Like, when we have a guy in the show, it's, like, cute. I lost the audio.

And they're like, but wait, where's Ashley? It's just you. Also, the address changes and there's no podcasting. Yeah, we lost Raina too. I'm also so weird. You want to have to come back another time. We do re-records in the bed. It's weird.

It's a whole thing. You have to be naked. It helps the sound. Yeah. Also, we don't use mics. They're in the walls. Yeah. We just need a few grunts from you.

Just like a little response. It's like, mm, and yeah. Also, if your dick was in me, this would probably just go a little bit better. Yeah. I know exactly who you're, thinking of. So do I. It's, well, I don't want to.

We have a guest coming up on the show. There's a consensus in the room from at least two of us that we would sleep with. Yeah, no. We both want to fuck this one guy. But he's coming soon. Hopefully, actually. On the show and on May, hopefully, inner around my face. Okay.

Anyways. Speaking of coming. Okay. So you are a comedian in New York City. You have an amazing podcast, which is so funny called How Come. So I would love it if you told us a little bit about how it started and what it's about. Okay. So how come started because at like 27, like when I was starting stand up, I would see all these other women talking about their orgasms.

And at that point, I had been like, I didn't even know women were having orgasms. Okay. And so I'd go up to some of them after shows and I'd be like, is this really a thing? You're just like a pro to stranger and you're like, hey. No, like I'd own that. Like I'd book them on my show or whatever. And I'd be like, wait, are you really coming? Like you have multiple orgasms?

Wait, this was you at 27? Yeah. How old are you now? I'm 29 now. You're 29 and you're from New York City, which we didn't say. Yes. And in a relationship. In a relationship.

I'm usually better at doing this whole. Well, we'll get there. So now people, now people know you. Yeah. Okay. I'm 5'2. Yes, beautiful blonde hair. I fluctuate.

Your nails. Your nails are. Are they real? No, they're fake. Oh, okay. Remember? People can't grow nails like that. That's crazy.

Some people can. Actually, my grandmother, who I live with and run the podcast out of her house, she has nails like this. She's very proud of me now. Yeah, to have nails like that. You have to be a grandma. Yeah. Okay, so you're in New York City Jew.

So I'm a New York City Jew. I'm not coming. I don't believe that anyone's coming. The people that I thought were coming were like the Samantha Joneses of the world that like you'd have like one second of penetration and they'd be like, oh, yeah. And I was like, that wasn't happening to me. You and your friends weren't really talking about sex and coming? No.

The only time someone would talk to me about like, oh, do you finger blast yourself was like a guy in high school who was asking it and like a not very nice way. Who are your friends? I'm very intrigued by this. Like now I want to back up. I'm like, where'd you go to college? How did this happen? Were you sheltered?

No. I just like, I feel like... The opposite. She's from New York. Yeah. No, I feel like societally, it wasn't great for women to talk about masturbating. The only time I had heard girls talk about it was at Sleepboy Camp. And they didn't go in depth.

Well, I guess aside from masturbated, I'm just talking about sex. Like... I mean, I was having sex at like 15. But you just hadn't come from sex. No. No. Only like 8 to 25% of women can come from just vaginal penetration. And we want to get into all this too. And yeah, I just didn't think, I don't know. I thought you either did it because you were like this like sexual wonder or you didn't do it. And that was just women's cross to bear

was that like we were having sex to eventually have babies. And like we were having sex to please guys because nobody really talked about girls like having like high sex drives or anything. Like all the sitcoms I would see would be like, oh, my wife never wants to have sex. And I'd be like, oh, I'm going to be such a sick wife. Because, like, I'm horny all the time. Yeah. But I just didn't think, like, this is a normal thing that we could express. Okay.

And I also, like, I was gyrating all the time. And, like, to say my parents weren't like, stop that. Like, they would always be like, stop that. And like. Like, as a kid? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd always just be like.

You're like a dog in heat. My nickname was nudist. Like, I would get nude in the morning and walk around. Your house? Yeah. As like a little child. Oh, it's like a kid. As a kid.

Not in high school. No, not high school. Parents are like you can't hump the pillow naked at seven. This is too much. You can't care, Remy. Like put your clothing on. Don't do that.

Like people are coming over. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, yeah, sex is not. Like I, and I wish now that they had said, don't do that in public. Just do it in private. Right. Which is a different thing.

That's so that you just thought it was bad. I thought it was just like, don't or whatever. And it's not like my parents are like sex negative. Like I know my parents fucked. Like yeah. There was four of you. I mean, there's four of us. There was Astroglide all over the house all the time.

Like you know what that is? That's how you guys like loomed up the table before dinner. Yeah. No, like we'd find it in a little like. Yeah. Yeah. So they fucked. Like I knew they were fucking.

My mom always said sex is supposed to be fun. She just never told me about it's supposed to end in an orgasm for a woman. Gotcha. And I don't know that all women like I think it's interesting that you enjoyed sex and didn't have orgasms. I think a lot of women are like that. I mean, even. today I've had plenty of orgasms during sex. I still enjoy sex if I don't get off. It feels good.

It feels great. Like you'd have to be enjoying it to get to that point, right? Right. Yeah. So I enjoyed and I also love closeness and I love romance and like so I really just wanted yeah, someone to be on top of me and put a little weight on. So yeah, when I started stand up like there weren't so many Upper East Side standup comedians kind of like in the mainstream. But then there were more coming up when I was coming up and they were talking up and they were talking about similar things to me and then also talking about having so many orgasms, particularly Esther Steinberg, and I went up to her after her set and I was like, is this real? Are you really, like, how do you do this? And she was like, oh, you just have to like sit in your room for 30 minutes and like lube up your vagina and like just like don't quit, like do it for 30 minutes or

whatever. And I was just like, I'm not doing that. That sounds insane and like boring. Like manually. Manual? Yeah. I mean, I get off in like 30 minutes. seconds with a toy. Yeah. Well, now, yeah, totally. And you had tried to masturbate, like, when you were growing up, did you try to masturbate? So my whole thing was, I thought, I didn't believe that the clitoris was the source of a rouse. I really didn't think, I thought of it as this, like, weird little point that we had, like, at the top of our vaginas that, like, it just didn't, I thought all sex was what we learned in sex ed, intercourse. Penertration. Having a baby. Yeah, like getting a dick in a vagina, which completely eliminates any LGBT sex. I, like, didn't

think gay people could have sex. I didn't think lesbians can have sex. Right. They can have sex. Yeah. News flash. News flash. They're like coming way more than heterode couples. Right. Right. But so all of my sex was just trying to train to get good at getting something in my hole. Right. So like I knew that I'd heard vibration was good. So when like a vibrating razor came out, I'd be like, oh my God, I'm going to buy that. And then I'd stick it up my hole instead. A razor. Not the razor part, the vibrating. Right, like a toothbrush. Yeah. So basically I asked Esther and she was like, do this.

She also said she'd lend me this guy who's really good at oral. And I was like, please don't. That's okay. And then I brought it up to my sister. And she's three and a half years younger than me. And I was like, yeah, I can't come. Like, is that, that's weird, right? Like, it sounds like it's weird.

And she's like, well, yeah, I can't come with other people. I can come alone. And I was like, even you're doing that? Like, are you kidding? And she's like, no. Like, and you should probably do it. And she told me the same thing, do 30 minutes. And I was like, oh, that's so annoying.

30 minutes of what? Of just rubbing your clit and using loob or whatever. Loeb. I can't rub my clit fast enough of lube. Really? Really? Interesting. I feel like I don't get the traction I need on my vagina with loob.

I've never heard that before. Yeah, it's not for me. But anyways, I digress. Yeah, no, I think lube is supposed to be good just so it's not like dry and you don't get instantly turned off for like a starter. Yeah. masturbating. So I was just basically like, I'll try that, but no. And I kept like giving up. And so then Charlotte coined me as a lazy masturbator. And she was like, you just like, you just don't try. Like you don't push through the difficult part. And I was like, you know what I should do is start a

podcast. And that'll hold me like accountable. Accountable for my coming. And that way like I'll, I'll have like people come on. And they still, everybody comes on and tells me their first time coming experience or whatever you guys did. And they were great. But I just. smoke so much that I don't remember. So you should tell me again. We'll tell them again. Yeah. And I was like, they'll tell me their first time coming experience and then they'll give me an assignment. And it's something I can do that's going to like make me have an orgasm, hopefully. Okay. And then by week six, I came and now the podcast is just much more about like why didn't it happen. Like what's wrong with society? How do we like close the pleasure gap? Because it's not just me. There's like a million women who

came out like when I launched the podcast. Yeah. Holy shit, me too. And I was like, oh my God, I thought I was such like a freak. I thought my body was like defective. Like, yeah. It's just that we don't really have the information. We don't really talk about it as much as we should.

Well, so one question I have like while I'm listening to you is like I was like, this was only a couple years ago. So I guess I was having like sex toy parties years ago. I feel like pure romance and like all these companies. And so I feel like I learned about sex toys and vibrators maybe from sexist city or just culturally or whatever. So were they a foreign concept to you? No, I went to a sex toy party when I was 21 and I heard about the rabbit. Right. The rabbit. Right. The rabbit. Yeah. And I bought the rabbit. But it's like this hulking fucking dildo. And it was like $70. Yeah. And like I didn't

realize like if you're not familiar with the rabbit, it's like internal and external pleasure. So you have this massive dick that you shove in you. But then there's like little rabbit at the top that's like little ears stimulate the click. And you have to clean it after. It's a mess. And you have to, it's disgusting. It's disgusting. And, but Charlotte was using it because she knew that I had it, my sister, and she was just turning it around. For sure. You only need the top part.

But I didn't know that. So I was like shoving in me and was terrified and then just like put it away. And I think that's a very common misconception that like you need to have a dick inside of you and like, you just need a little vibrating bullet. That's all I need. I should like show you mine in my bedroom. It's so, so small. Yes.

But I, yeah. Okay. So it's just funny to me that if someone came to me and they like how you went to the comedian friend and was like I need to I've never gotten off I'd need to get off I would like suggest a toy I wouldn't say go touch yourself for 30 minutes which is it's just funny to me that's like a black diamond level like yeah yeah manually is like you know it's expert level totally you know like first thing out of the gate you just you know put something vibrating on your clip well that's I had a vibrator too after so when I and a boyfriend when I still right no no so okay that I have a

boyfriend yeah I had a boyfriend when I started the podcast this is the main thing I've been wanting to get to is that you were not coming and you had a boyfriend and you were like, hey babe, so listen, I'm going to start this podcast because I've never came. I'm going to find everybody that we know on the show. I make it clear that I haven't come with you. Yeah.

Well, that was the thing is a lot of people are like, oh my God, like, is Ben like terrible at sex? And I'm like, no, absolutely not. Ben's wonderful at sex, like, kills it. but I hadn't figured myself out yet and it's impossible to direct someone else when you don't it's like being like here have this Rubik's cube no one's ever solved it before enjoy have fun also you're naked like what and like I also had like these like ideas that like nobody wanted to be going down on you like there wasn't this like power of the pussy movement that there is

now that like the vagina is the best thing ever like when I grew up everyone was like vagina smell like it's a like trip to the fish market and like everything's fucking gross like no they're they are pretty great but because that was like in my head I always felt really guilty if someone was down there that I wasn't fully enjoying it okay um so yeah and then I had I had one boyfriend before him and I didn't even tell him until like two years into dating that I wasn't coming because I didn't really know were you faking it no okay no I've never fake I mean I'll I'll I respond when I'm having a good time. But I've never be like, I'm coming, like, when I'm not coming. This is like a lot of mind-blowing information for me. I know. Did your boyfriend ever ask? Like, did you come?

He knew that I didn't. Okay. And was he like, I really want to try to make you? Which boyfriend are we talking about? Both or the most recent? The first one never asked. Okay. Which was. And you've broken up, so fuck him. And we've broken up, so fuck him. Right. But he really never asked. And I also didn't realize it was such a thing. And then at some point, I guess I must have talked to a friend about orgasms. And then I was like, oh, I don't think I'm having them. And I told him that. And he was like, oh, we should work on that.

And then the rabbit came out again. And he like, would try and use it on me. But we didn't, we weren't using it the right way. Like, it was just so fucking weird. So let me say, my theory on this is that we talked about it on your show, there's like this common misconception that like how to make a woman come because it's called fingering. Right.

And, like, that term is that does such a disservice to people because that is not how you make a person come. Even today, like, I'm in my 30s. A guy will just be, like, pounding my hole with their finger. I'm like, it's not there. Yeah. Like, yeah. But I don't. You're not going to find something deeper.

There's nothing in there. And, like, I mean, I'm sure you can explain it very well. But, like, your pleasure center isn't necessarily. Like, that's not where you orgasm from. Like, your orgasm from rubbing your clit. Yeah. And, like, clit stimulation. And so I think that, like, that wasn't talked about when I was growing up.

I didn't know that that. I thought that I had just discovered this thing that like nobody else knew about when I was a kid. I mean, technically, I think I might have told you guys this, but they didn't even discover the internal structure of the clitoris until 1998 medically. Oh my gosh. Okay. And that like is like blew my mind when I saw what they actually look like. Like you think it's just that little bump or whatever. Like your clitoris is four inches long.

It goes back into your body. It goes around the vaginal opening. So, like, people who are having vaginal orgasms, they're actually clitoral orgasms because it's surrounding that opening. But, like, it's got 8,000 nerve endings. It's literally made for you to have pleasure. Like, there's nothing else for it to do. And I used to think that, like, oh, like, we don't need to have orgasms.

It's not like a natural thing. Like, it is the most natural thing. it's there in your body to do it. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And, like, gives you the most stress release and, like, yeah, health benefits. So your second boyfriend, who you are still with, was he, like, I want to try to make you come? Yeah, all the time. So you, like, going down there and do it, okay.

Yeah. Well, I like this analogy of, like, if you don't know how your body works, like, it's hard to explain to another person. Yeah. And he would try and stuff. But then I would get really upset because I also thought, like, my body was, like, broken. And, like, I was just so in my head. I was like, it's never going to happen. It's not going to happen.

And that's what would be happening in my head. Oh, my God. Absolutely. Yeah, well, then forget it. Yeah. Like, you have to be relaxed. And I was like the most neurotic Jewish spiral every time we were fucking. Well, were we, I forget who said this to us.

And you had Ian Kerner on your show also. I figured it was him or something else we read that said, like, for men and women, it's very different. The parts of the brain that need to light up in order for you to have an orgasm. And that like women really, like, the part of your brain, that causes you like a lot of stress has to like really desensitize itself in order for a woman to have an orgasm and not for men. Yeah.

Okay. So can you finish saying like how you started this podcast, how your man felt about it? My man, so he, I told him I was going to do it and he was like, yeah, you should. Like it's important. Okay, cool. You need to like figure this shit out. Like, he sounds great. He's great.

Yeah. Yeah. My ex when he found out about it was like, he sucks. and that's the difference between nice people and not nice people. Right. People you should date. People you should have. Yeah. Is like, ooh, do they care about something that could improve your life? Or do they take it as like a personal attack? Yes, exactly. That's a good takeaway. Yeah. Okay. So how did you come for the first time? Okay. So six weeks into the podcast. Six weeks. No, so I used to do it by or by monthly. So it was like every two weeks I'd release an episode. So I had like the emotional time to like,

You're like, oh my God. Yeah, masturbate. But also like, some of the assignments are like, look at your vagina. And I was like, I don't really want to do that. Yeah, you got to tell us the other things that people suggested that you do. Oh, I can run through the assignments. Yeah, so what are the assignments? Okay.

So episode one was graze over your panties for 30 minutes or maybe it was 20, honestly, and don't even like try and get in just graze and touch the clit that way or whatever. So it's like not too stimulating. and you just like feel good. What I did wrong was I turned on like romantic rom-com music and then I just started crying. Oh my God. Well, that's why.

So that was my question. Did they give you any sort of like arousal material? Because if I just started going like this, like I need at least a Rihanna song or something. Right. Like that's what I thought. Something else. I would,

I need like someone's Instagram. Like I would need material or my own fantasy. Or something. If someone was like just start touching and be like, and think about what. What? I don't know what to do. Right. I guess if you've never done it, I'm like, that sounds great to me.

An evening where I'm just, like, rubbing myself, like, through my panties. Yeah. And it was more she was saying just, like, make the time to, like, dedicate that much time to it, you know, and then don't get, like, too psyched out. And then the second assignment was to watch porn because I'm really not. Right. I'd never really done that. The only porn watching I'd done was in, like, a really, like, mechanical, like, hey, like, that shots weird. Like, I can see her stubble, like, critiquing it from, like, a film point of view.

It's a very female. thing to do. Yeah. Just like hating on like the director cut. Yeah. The music they chose for the scene. Exactly. I'm like,

I don't believe that they're in love. Yeah. I don't like that. No, so then I had to watch porn and I, and there is like a lot more porn now. There's like female made porn that's better. There's like erotica. Yeah, absolutely.

That's great. So then, yeah. So I watched that and I was like, okay, I'm horned up, but I don't really know what to do. And then assignment, assignment three was now look at your vagina. and while it's aroused, see if it moves, if it responds to different touches,

different sides. Oh my God, this is like a cat scan. Yeah, literally. Because, like, she was like, yeah, like some people like to be rubbed in like the upper left quadrant. Some people like to be doing in a circle, like try different stuff and like,

try to watch like what happens. So I did that. And then my next assignment was to go to the doctor, my gynecologist and my therapist to make sure no medications I was taking was inhibiting. Because SSRI, like I'm on antidepressants, they can really inhibit your sex drive and orgasms and stuff.

Not me, still horny as ever. And yeah, and then my gyno, like, did her tests, which essentially was like jacking me all. I mean, whatever, but like it went. She was like, it responds. Like you have a slit and it's there. They can do, I'm blown away. Your gynecologists can do tests for this to see if you can orgasm? Not to see if you can orgasm, but to see if you have arousal tissue.

Yeah. Like my friend Crystal. No. Yeah. I mean, just the way that, like, you know when you go in for like a mammogram, they'll, like, tweak your nipples to see if they get hard or if, like, the nipple tissue is dead? Like, they can tweak your clit and see if it, like, see how mine is hardened. Yeah.

And I'm just going to ask for that next time with the gyno. Like, I'm just going to be like, also I'm not sure my clit's working if you want to get down there and give it a try. I've actually been going to this gay man. A gay man guy now. And he'll be like, okay. Sure. He's like, Ashley, I listen the podcast. I know you come plenty.

Yeah. Like, but just give it a try, Dr. Sean. Just try. With the last couple weeks, like, I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, it feels dead. It's sleeping.

Could you wake it up again? Like a trap to get fingered at the gyno. He is so gay. He's the gayest gay man. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't go to a straight male gyno. That would just feel weird. But I go to a gay guy.

Yeah. You finger me. Yeah. I'm good. I like a woman or a gay guy. Yeah. It's not for me. And I don't think about their wives because whether,

up there, they're always like, so do you have any siblings? Like, they ask you about your family while they're inside of you. Yeah, no, no. I mean, I think about their wives, like, when they come home at the end of the day. It's like, it's not even exciting vagina. It's just like the last vagina they're seeing. The last vagina in the day. Like, I've seen so many of these today. I've seen so many. Yeah. What do you bring it to the table? Yeah. So yeah, she was like, you're, I also thought maybe I didn't have a clit because when I was doing the looking assignment, I was like, I don't really understand. And my friend Crystal, who just came on my podcast, doesn't have a clit. And so I was like, maybe that could be me.

Clitless. Clitless. Yeah. Clitless in Seattle. Sounds like a lifetime movie. Yeah. Clitless and alone. Dying clitless.

Clitless and afraid. Or the hallmark version of Clit for Christmas. Yeah. What do you want for Christmas? A clitless Christmas. Oh, I don't know. Like every hallmark. movie, yeah. It's like,

and what were you like for Christmas? A love for Christmas. Like a marriage for Christmas. Like a clit for Christmas. A little stocking stagic out there. Oh yeah. Okay. Keep going. What are we up to? Five. Yeah. So this is, no, this was four. And then five, I had these two people on Lola Jean and Dominus Eros and they are sex wellness workers and they work out of this place called 3F Studios in New York. And I was like, I'm so fucking. pent up.

I also was just like, I want to end this podcast. Like, I don't really know if I like podcasting. And I'm just going to go back to being a full-time masturbator. Yeah. And I was like, can you just give me like two assignments? And they were like, yeah. So she gave me come to my masturbation class, which she has, which is like basically a yoga class except everyone has no pants on.

Wait, are people actually masturbating together? Yeah. It's all women. And, yeah. Or vagina owners, are the owners? Are we on the floor? yoga mats? Do we sit at desks? Yoga mats. Are people facing each other or are they're all facing the front?

No, you can't really see anyone's vagina. It's like, no. Everyone's like laying down, knees up with a little towel over their crotch. Okay. And then the instructors in the front and like fully like a yoga class. Yeah. Actually they split up into two classes. The first half like she shows you a little demo like on this little like vulva puppet and then she shows you a demo on herself. And then she's like, okay, everybody gets some water. I'll take your pants off and here are your towels. A demo on herself. Yeah. Like look, this is where this is where this is.

labia is and you can scrunch this labia next to your clit if you're having like too much arousal like with with direct clit finger content okay or contact who goes these classes and blown away this is so cool it was like a lot of women around my age so like 25 to like 35 of every background shape size also other Christmas gift alert vulva puppet yes um to explain to your kids um do it at Christmas together yeah Family tradition. Yeah. We sing carols and masturbate together.

Yeah. Our vulva puppets actually sing themselves. What if you went home with the guy for Christ? He's like, listen, we have like sort of like a weird tradition. We all masturbate together. We said, oh, holy night. And we sing, oh, holy night. It's about my vagina.

Yeah, so that was cool. And then Aaron gave me a tantric massage. Dominoos eros. His real name was Aaron, but he goes because he's a dom. And so a tantric massage is basically like a full body massage and like he fingered me and uh had a tampon in which i thought was interesting yeah i never really talk about that part on the podcast but like i fully went with my period and i was like you didn't want to cancel i didn't want to cancel because we had to record yeah but did he not cancel

like when you he saw you had the tampon in i was like i don't have to tell you and he was like oh it's fine all finger around it because the hole isn't even that necessary oh he like went oh it was like clit yeah yeah yeah okay so it was clitoral stage i was like clitoral stage i was like i I mean, he fingered around it too. Yeah. And, like, didn't mind. And also, like, who fucking cares? Oh, absolutely, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. I was in my head about it because I'm like, if I listen to old episodes, I'm like, who was that person? Like, I'm way more sexually awakened now. I'm like, if I'm on my period, I'm like, yeah, we're fucking. What are you talking about? Yeah.

Are people still not fucking on their periods? People really still aren't fucking on their periods. To me, like, it has nothing to do with the stigma. It's like just how much blood. Yeah. Like, a good person that cleans a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, if you're fully. just heavy flow in. I mean, I would just be like, we're good. Right. But I always try to put a little space between me and the bed. So like I'll do like a position that where I'm like on my knees or something like that. So like you could see if the blood was going to drop. Or just be totally upside down.

So it just can't even come out. Yeah. Use gravity to your benefit. Yeah. Yeah. Full headstand. Yeah. So and get in there.

And I didn't come from the tantric massage. And also the class, right? And I didn't come with the class. Also just to back up like, because I'm very curious. I'm sure our listeners are too. Are people coming at that glass? People said they did. But can you hear them?

Like, is the lady next to you just fucking? You hear moan it. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't anything like so distracted. They also had like a woman who was doing like a little like like bum, like all these like gongs going on like these like sounds like rhythmic like bowls. So it's like masturbating at like a Buddhist temple. Yeah, it's like. Yeah. Like everybody.

And like you're supposed to. They need to play Rihanna. Yeah. That's. it would have been more helpful to me. Someone called me out recently. They were like, you, because you know you can see what people listen to on Spotify. Yeah.

And like a guy friend was like, anti is such a good album. And I see you're always listening to that. I was like, okay. Yeah. You know my story. Just so anyone's clear if I'm listening to the anti album. That's amazing. Do you masturbate to music?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. And like fantasies. I'm the opposite. I need like dead silence. What? That's crazy.

I mean, that's not crazy. I need to really focus on my fantasy. Like desperado. Oh. Love on the brain. Yeah. Kiss it better. And you needed me.

The whole album. If birthday cake was longer. Yeah. But desperado, it's so sexy. Yeah. Okay, keep going. And you just, it gets you in the mood.

Yeah. I'm, we talked to this before in a podcast. And girls have, a lot of girls had, uh, have message me because I said I, I had sex like with the 24 year old,

like what that album was on. And I just felt so much sexier. I'm just music is such a big part of my life. Like I, but Rihanna specifically, multiple girls since that episode. So we're like, yeah, we put on Rihanna Antai. And, like, that is the best album.

I'll fuck to music, but masturbate. I need total silent. Oh, my God. I got to have the music. Also, good song is Ariana Grande's Imagine. Yes. Anything Ariana Grande. She has a great climax part in Imagine.

There's a song by Guns and Roses called Rocket Queen. And his girlfriend does like an orgasm or she's like, it's great. Okay. Yeah. It's so, you would love it. I love this orgasm playlist. Also, old school, there's a 112 song called Sweet Love that is like full-blown orgasm also like Beyonce like drunk in love and also she has a song Rocket which I feel like

is it about orgasm. Side to side are in a grande. There it is. God is a woman to masturbate to absolutely. Holy shit. Okay. This is my assignment for today is I'm going to go home to my new place. A playlist. I haven't masturbated to my new apartment yet. We'll make a playlist also. Oh, yeah. Oh, I was think about you guys in masturbate tonight. That's so cute. I know. I love that. Brumby was like, do you want to go out later? My friend's thing. I was like, no, I have to go home masturbate. Anyways, we've digged. Okay.

So you, you had this tantric massage. So I had this tantric massage. That was one thing that I felt a little strange about having a boyfriend and doing those assignments was I was like, like, I told him I was having the tantric massage, but we both didn't really understand what that meant going into it. And like, I don't know, we both felt a little weird after. But then it was like, no, like he was so professional. It wasn't like a.

It's a technical thing. It's a technical thing. Like, this man treats men. women, everyone, like, it's not, he wasn't, like, seeking me out, like, this. He's not, like, commenting on my Instagram now. Never. Was the goal of the massage? Is there a goal?

Yeah. Yeah. And what was cool and why I think when you were like, oh, do you hear other people? Like, a lot of it is breathing techniques that they're teaching you to do. So, like, the first thing we did in the tantric massage was he was like, okay, I need you to make three different sounds. Like, ha, ho. And like, ah, or whatever.

And, like, normally, like, I would not want to do. do that. But like, I was like, I, I am so desperate. Like, I need to fucking come. Like, I'll do anything. I'll embarrass myself. Like, um, and so yeah, you just kind of have to like open yourself up. Which was strange. I just, yeah. I mean, if there's on the, usually when I've had some drinks, but on the rare occasion where I'm like masturbating and I can't come, then I'm like, I'm probably not going to because now I'm in my head. Like it's just once you get weird about it in your head, forget it. I think that's for everyone. For anything. Yeah. Even. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

Okay. So I didn't come for either of those. And then I was a guest on my friend's podcast. It's called The Good, the Dad, and the Ugly. And it's three guys. They only interview females. Yeah. Yeah.

And they were talking to me about my issue. And they were like, have you tried the womanizer? And I was like, no, what is that? That sounds horrible. Because it's like the worst name. It's a worst name for products that women use. Yeah. And it turns out to be a clitoral.

I don't want to say such. but it is like suction. It does like wind movements around your clit that make it feel like it's being sucked or make it feel like oral sex is happening to it. But the most intense, amazing. Good oral sex. Yeah. Let's be clear.

A lot of guys don't know to even suck. Best oral you've ever even had in your life machine. And so I ordered it literally the second I got home. Right. And then it came. and then I used it. And then you came. And I came pretty quickly.

It was like I was squirting. There was like leg shaking. So many years of penthouse. Yeah. Like 28 years of time. It's so crazy. Yeah. I can't believe that you got that recommendation from dudes.

Right? Isn't that like the most feminist thing you've ever heard? I can't believe that no other woman gave you that recommendation. Well, that's what I think is the most fucked up thing. It's fairly new. So we went on a podcast. That's so retrograde. Yeah.

Did we talk about it? No. Probably off the. off the record. Probably after that. They were really, they were super into it. You're right,

it wasn't on the actual podcast, I don't think, but they were loved talking about the womanizer and that's the first. We heard of it and like a week later, I think we came on your podcast and were like, okay. I want to order this too.

Me too. Well, it's not, I mean, the womanizer is really expensive. How much is it? I think like $300. Oh,

something. Yeah. Oh. That's fucking crazy. That was the first one that I heard of. Now I'm like way more well versed in clitoral like wind machines. So there's one by sweet vibrations. that's like $42.

So it's just a newer type of vibrator then, I guess. It's not a vibrator though. It's like using... Yeah, it's a sex toy. I want to start calling them like suckies, but they're not like technically suckers. Like, because that's, I don't know. Anyway, but it sounds unpleasant if it was sucking on your plate.

It would be unpleasant. Yeah, it's just more like wind motion and it feels like a bit, but it's amazing, you guys. Like, you'll shit yourselves, but not, you won't shit. You'll squirt yourself. But you'll squirt. How long did it take you to come? So you start masturbating with this thing.

four seconds. What? Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. I have a feeling I would put it right on my, I mean, it would be over in second. That's why I don't use toys

because that comes too fast. Yeah, so like I got another one that has like lower setting. So if I want to like just like like have a slow jerk, I can do that. Like you want to like time it with music and stuff.

Yeah. You want to come in the first verse. Exactly. Okay. I get it. Now you're attacking me. I'm just kidding. You got at least wait until like,

like the second bridge or something. Yeah, the area kind of songs to the bridge. Or if you have multiple orgasms, go for it. Like, and I do now. Absolutely. So, like, I can just like come and then like, wait and then like come and then like, you know, like your body is like, we need to have orgasms. Yeah.

A whole bunch of all. Yeah. So can we talk about your first orgasm? I mean, were you just like so excited? I was the most excited. Yeah. Who'd you call first? I mean, like.

Ben first or your sister? I think I told Charlotte first. Yeah. Because I was like, oh my God, we have to end the podcast. The podcast's over. We need to find new jobs. Yeah. And then I told Ben.

But it was like, I had made it like a point to make it the most peaceful environment, conducive environment for me. I made sure my grandma was gone that day, booked her a bunch of doctor's appointments. It's like, get the fuck out. Were you midday? It was midday. Okay, cool. I turned on Rihanna really loud.

Nice. And put a little towel down. I had done my research into squirting, and I knew from this point that a lot of people in my family had been squirting, and I was like, it's probably genetic. It's genetic? Yep. I come from a long generation of squirers. I don't squirt because my mom doesn't squirt.

Yeah, you didn't get it from your mama. I can't believe she did this to me. Yeah. I have wanted to squirt my whole life. I Wikipedia had a squirt. I tried. Yeah. I can't believe my mom did this to me.

You can learn, but it's not like, it's not even that great. I mean, it's great, but it's not. I want to do it. It's a dream of mine. It's a goal that I hope to achieve some. You shoot for the stars. I'm going to shoot for something. Yeah.

It's like three inches from my body. Lola, the one who had the masturbation class, just hit a Guinness world record of squirting. Like distance? Yeah. What? Yeah. How far? I don't know.

I'm having her on my first live show. So, yeah. You have a live show coming up? We want to plug all of that. We're going to plug all of that. Let's see where people can come find you. But anyway, so. Where was your cat?

My cat was in the room. Did she watch? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. She knows too much. I mean, they don't care, but... She knows. She knows. She knows. I know sometimes these dogs. Well, cats, you never know what they're doing.

She was probably not even looking. Like, Dewey would be like, oh my mom's first orgasm. Were you under the covers? No. Above the cover. Okay. Above. All right. So she could see. Because I wanted to see everything that was going on, too. Okay. Are we in front of a mirror? I have a mirror in front of my bed. I have a mirror next to my bed.

Oh, I knew that. I watched a mirror. Stories a lot. Okay. So, yeah. So I kicked Nan out. I turned the music on. I'm getting so excited. And then Nan comes back. And I was like, all right, if you're going to be here, just get the fuck in your room and don't come out. Yeah.

Or whatever. Because like, I need, like, she's like, this is my home. You're like, get in there. Get them. Get the fuck in your room, grandma. Lock the goddamn door. Lock her from the outside. Like, because I had already had the machine.

I had touched it before. Like, I was getting there. And then she like, fucking came back in. I was like, get the fuck in your room. Oh my God. I just picture this poor old lady locked in her bedroom. Esther, can't you see him trying to orgasm?

So yeah, so I put her there and then I turned Rihanna way loud again and I put it on and literally within like, I would say 12 seconds. It was like I squirted it and I was like, what the fuck? And so then I like got up and like teetered over to the bathroom with it still on me and I was like, oh my God.

And like, We're like, Nan, get out here. I was like, oh, God. I have something to tell you. Yeah, like, what is happening? And like... The family legacy lives. I'm one of you now.

I'm one of you now. One of us. One of us. Yeah, no, so, but I had squirted, but I didn't orgasm. And I think that's a thing, like, people have been writing me, can you do that? Yeah, you can. Okay, interesting. Like, you can just, it can, like, be like a reaction or whatever.

So, and I was like, I know that I haven't had that, like, release feeling. feeling I have squirted but I didn't have yeah so interesting and like okay yeah so then I went to the bathroom and I like gripped my like sink and I looked in the mirror and I was like don't give up like we're gonna do this push through and I'm so like staring at myself which I thought was kind of hot too because I like watched like my body like respond and like my face kind of changed and I was like oh my like we're doing this like we're doing this look at us and like then like my leg started to kind of shake and like give out. And so I was like, okay, we have to go to the floor and like put myself on like a bath mat. And then like there was just like more squirting and so much come. And it was great.

And then I started hysterically crying. But you did have the sensation. But I did have like three orgasms. Okay. Do you just stay there and keep masturbating? I kept ramping it up like. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, don't you give up on us, Remy. And you have multiple orgasms. Your first time. My first time. Yeah. And you squirted. Yeah. You are like. I'm a real A type. I mean, if you do it, you really, you're the. number one out of the gate. You really succeeded. Yeah. It's like beginners luck, but the opposite kind of. It's like all this pent up come. Yeah. Yeah. It was a lot. And then I started coming out of my eyes and crying and it was, it was a lot. Called the family. Called the fam.

Is that an email to the whole family? Yeah. Then I, then I, like, announced it on the podcast, Instagram. I was like, uh, something like, I didn't say I did it. I said, would you guys still listen to this podcast if I came. And they were like, yeah, we have so many other questions. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Of course. So then I was like, okay, Charlotte, false alarm.

We don't have to end the podcast. Right. Well, we still have to talk about coming during sex also. 100%. Okay. So you came once and then what was the next? Like, did you come consistently? Yeah.

Then I was doing it like every day. And during sex? And like, yeah. I mean, we bring, like I use mostly a satisfier now. They make a small little travel. one and that's really nice for like partnered sex. Yeah. Is this the thing that looks like the lipstick case?

That's a womanizer. That is a womanizer. Okay. Yeah. Satisfi is even smaller. Okay. I have 9,000 sex toys now. I know you showed us.

Yeah. Do people start sending you tours? Yeah. Okay. We, I think it would be great like in our Instagram store. We'll give people like some more tips and stuff also. But if you have other ones. Yeah.

I think the number one thing is like people are always like, oh, like can you come during sex now? Yeah. But like it still takes work. Right. And most of the time I would prefer that work to be done by a machine just because it takes the pressure off of both of us. Okay. Like he still does great foreplay and warmups.

And like I've come from my hand now and I'm sure his like a few times. But like I would just prefer like, I'll be like, hey, can you just make out with me and like play with my boobs while like I direct this thing? Okay. It's just easier for me to do. So most of the time in the bedroom there's a toy involved. Yeah. Okay. I mean, we don't start with one, but then I'll be like, I'd really like this or whatever.

If you're getting close, I'd like to come to. Okay. Do you ever, because I think that, I mean, masturbating and pleasing yourself is really important. But, like, also in the bedroom, like, do you ever masturbate, like, why you're having sex? Oh, that's how I get into it a lot of the time. Because I have a way higher sex drive than he does. and like he'll respond to sex but he won't necessarily initiate and I've found like I don't want to be like hey let's have sex yeah like that's like a weird thing for me because like then they could just be like no I'm not in the mood

and then you're like okay um and now if that conversation happens I'm like okay well I'm gonna masturbate then because I'm still horny like okay and we're in bed like why not so then I'll just start next to him and like most 90% of the time he'll join in yeah I love that I just love you like I that's I've never done that in a relationship yeah and so I love here another everybody's like everybody's like I love here about everybody's different relationship stories like this is just hey just FYI I'm just going to start masturbating so if you don't mind and let me jump in or don't yeah or sometimes I'll be like hey could you hand me my toy and he's like he's like are you horny right now and I'm like yeah and he's like sick

But and then he, you were telling us when we came on your podcast that he was like going down on you and you were like, sick. Or is that what you said to him? Yeah, I did. You were like, that's sick, bro. Yeah. No, I literally, I was saying to him, I was like, I think I'm getting too relaxed. Like I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum now because like, yeah, it was going down. I mean, I was like, oh, that's sick.

And he was, and he didn't say anything in the moment. Nothing. He never like made fun of it, whatever. And then another, like a week later, we were having sex. And I was like, yeah, that's awesome. or whatever. And then afterwards, I was like, I think I'm talking too much. He goes, do you remember last week when you said that something was sick? And I was like, I do. I don't know if you remembered. I was hoping you didn't hear me because my vagina muffled the dog. No, but we laughed

so hard about it. He's like, oh, bro, that's tight. So can you get off from oral sex from him? It's still, like, kind of tough. I prefer, like, if he's, like, like, sucking on my thighs and using a machine. Okay. Like, he will, like, go to work with his tongue and he's tried to suck on it the way that the machine does. I don't know. I think I have maybe a small clit or like it's just like really hidden by the hood. Okay. Yeah. And like it's like a lot more work and I am lazy and we've already found this hack that I'm like, let's just use this fucking thing. And then like, do you guys do cock rings? No. I do. I always, I mean, not always, but I will do a hold around the base. Because I just felt like,

I started using them with a guy that I dated when I was like 24. And we just like went to brunch and then went to the sex toy shop and like bought a cockering. But I love the cockering because, I mean, it goes around their penis and vibrates on your clit while you're fucking. Oh, vibrating one. So yeah, yeah. So yeah, it was like this. Well, it was a tiger. We both went to Clemson.

Oh, my God. It was a whole thing. It was a cockerring. I called my secrets. It was an orange tiger cockering. Oh, my God. Was it like striped like a tiger and it vibrated? So I just...

The reason why I'm like... The fight song? Ashley's like, listen, I have to masturbate to music. So we're gonna get the fight song. Beat that pussy up. But it just like vibrate on your clip while you're being penetrated. So that was like... But it moves too much.

Yeah, I have a hard time. You have to be like humping where the dick doesn't even come out. Like you're just like lightly like bump it. Like that's the thing with any of these suction things is, I need, like, as I was saying with the mirror, that there's different parts. Like, I need it kind of like upper left or whatever. And like, I don't want to be giving that much instruction. I know it's the best thing that you can do is giving more instruction or whatever.

I haven't figured out how I could suck my own vagina or how I would, you know. God, wouldn't we all? Like, yeah. I just like that you say that there's like all these different things that people like. Like sometimes maybe you want the upper left quadrant of the clip rubbed. And I think that like it's important to like, decent. stigmatize all these things. Like everybody, we've somebody on the show very, very early on. And he said every woman's body is a different, like, fucking treasure map. But it's a snowflake. They're all different.

They're all different. And like, some people want their nipples sucked or pinched. And like, I think, like, I've never heard that somebody wants, like their thighs looked. But like, that's something that you like, I think it's important to destigmatize that because I think people are just thinking like, I should be having orgasms all the time. And it's like, no, you have to work on these things. Right. And I got that from true blood to thigh sucking because somebody bit someone's thigh once. And I was like, Oh, that looks sick. I'm down. That looks sick.

But I think that everybody has like a different orgasm journey and like yours is very different than mine. And like I just want to like, I want to hear your orgasm journey. Yeah. Well, I think, well, I can't remember we've said this in the podcast, but I guess we'll very early on. Yeah. So, um, because since we're talking about it, I like lost my virginity at 18 and then with

my boyfriend and it was great. It was a great experience. But I didn't have, I just, one thing that I was thinking back to you saying that you scored it was I remember. remember being wet all the time, but not having a feeling of an orgasm. I was wet all the time. During, during like oral, he would go down on me a lot. And I remember being in his bed and being like, oh, there's this huge wet spot. I'm a little bit embarrassed because I'm like a fucking teenager. And then, but not ever having like a true orgasm. But I remember

enjoying sex. I mean, sometimes a little painful. He had like a huge dick. But I probably slept with like maybe two or three more guys like when I went off to college and then had my first orgasm with this guy the summer that I turned 20. And we were like, summer romance kind of thing and he went down on me. And I remember like my legs shaking and I said like that was the first time that's happened. And he was like what? And he knew my like, because I lost my virginity too. And he's like, oh, he didn't break you off like that. And I was like, oh my God. The term was like so derogged. He couldn't break you off like that. And I was like, oh, that's what that's about. And he was just a really funny like life of the party guy. Like we

went to a party right after that and he was telling people. I was like, you are the fucking worst? And he was like, Ashley, are your legs still shaking? I was like, shut the fuck up. And so, like, not bragging, but he was like, you know, making fun of me, like, in a cute way. But then we just did have like orgasms during vaginal sex after that. I think I was loosened up. I knew an orgasm felt like. I knew that it came from your clit. Yeah. Like, I can't totally remember what my mindset was at 20 at this point. But like, I don't really know that I, I didn't think it was like the clit. I did think it was vaginal penetration like the movies. Like sex in the city. I've been watching Sex and the City for a few years at this point. And then I did, I remember

a couple years later, I went with a girlfriend. I bought the like $70 fucking rabbit. And it was just like, this is so weird. And then I just kind of, I would use to host these pure romance parties every year around Valentine's Day. My best friend Kate and I would host these pure pros and then I realized like, oh, it's these smaller clitoral vibrators. And then sexually, like, I've been pretty good. Like, I kind of know what position I need to be in. Like, I know exactly, like, to have my best orgasm, I need to be on top. I need to be, like, grinding on a guy a certain way. And that's just, it doesn't always work. I think every guy's body is different. And it's weird because with my one ex, I always had an orgasm all the time. And then, like, I think the

next person after him, I slept with, I was like, oh, his dick is different. I just wanted a different question answered like five minutes ago, but this is all good too. Would you want to answer? I wanted to know when you, like, when you had an orgasm, like, did you masturbate? Did you have an orgasm? No, she went down. I mean, what did you tell her first orgasm? Somebody went down on her.

But you didn't ever have when you were masturbating is like my question. I don't think I really masturbated. Yeah. Ever. I don't. No. I definitely didn't masturbate. I definitely didn't masturbate in high school.

Yeah. I always had like a hand down there. Yeah, like I'm sure I felt around down there. But I never. knew that there was something like a completion that was supposed to be reached. Yeah. I think I'm the same as I. Yeah. Like this is fun. I think there just wasn't

like the internet like it is today and there was just like no way to know about it and my girlfriends didn't talk about it. I had no idea. No, I mean, and I remember it and going to college, we talked very openly about sex. I know I've always found friends that are open about sex. Sex but not masturbating. But not masturbating. And sex also was how good are you

to the guy that you're having sex with. Like, did you do all the, like, porn moves? Like, you know, did you archer back? Did you look back and, like, be like, yeah. You know, like, I don't know the guys even knew to ask, like, did you come? No. Like, I think the guys at the beginning of sex, too, are like, well, that's, this is for me. Well, totally.

But the guy that made me come, like, he was on a mission. And I love that. You know, we had a great summer together. Like, it was great. It was, like, a guy that wanted to please his partner. And that's why both of you are having sex. That's the best analogy I ever heard was, from my friend Molly Brenner has a one woman show.

And there's a scene where her and a guy go to a restaurant and they both order. And the guy eats immediately and she never eats. And she's like, well, that looks good. And he's like, okay, well, I'm done. Let's go. Right. And that's exactly, like you both came to eat. You should fucking eat.

It's crazy that he thinks that you just came to sit with him and watch him eat and help him eat. It's a great analogy. And now you're hungry and pissed at him? Yeah. Like, that's the thing too, what that my podcast did is it took. a lot of pressure off some of the guys because I used to be so mad at them for not being able to make me come. And now I'm like, okay, well, they should have asked, yeah, I can be mad at that,

but I can't be mad at the fact that they didn't know how because I didn't know how. Right. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it would have been nice if somebody was like, how can I, what do you like? I think that's the easier question, not how do I make you come, but does this feel good? Like, checking in every step of the way, do you let, you know, because like, oh my God. Yeah, but I mean, this has got to be an age thing too. Like, I can't, I don't even know the, last time I slept with like a selfish lover. You know, like guys get mature and I feel like I choose pretty good dudes that care about your pleasure.

Yeah, I think I wasn't choosing the best dudes. Like when I was younger in my 20s and like having a bunch of sex, like I don't remember a lot of like, I'm here to please you. I felt like a checklist to a lot of people, especially in high school. Like, oh, fingered her. Oh. Yeah. You know, like it wasn't like, yeah, we participated in masturbating her.

And she climaxed. Right. I think guys would like finish. And they'd be like, did you finish? And I'd be like, well, how did you expect me? How did you fit? But like, I wasn't offering any information as to how to do that either. Right.

And they don't know. But I don't know that I even knew that there was like a platform to offer that information. Like, please do this. Please touch this this way. Let's be in this position. Like, I just thought of sex as like, I enjoyed it and I liked it. Yeah. But I didn't know that it was for me to have orgasms necessarily.

100%. But you were a child masturbator as a young child. Yes. like orgasming. I masturbated in high school for sure. Like I can't imagine like moaning and having an orgasm as a teenager. I can't grab my head around it. I just did. I mean, I also, I'm not judging you. I'm just like, I don't feel judged. I, I hit puberty really young. Like I developed really, really young. I had a lot of boys attention at a very young age. I mean, I wasn't being touched by other people. But yeah, in high school I masturbated. I've always like manually masturbated and I like really enjoy it.

And like, I guess I was having orgasms. I don't like remember my first orgasm. doesn't, but like definitely throughout high school, but like this was a thing I had no idea other people did. Like, I knew that you were a freak. I thought that I discovered this thing that like nobody else had ever discovered in their whole life. Yeah. And like, I knew their boys masturbated, but that was the thing that boys did.

Yeah. And like boys went on porn sites, but like girls didn't touch themselves. Right. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't until I was in college that I had some girlfriends that one girl said like blah, blah, blah masturbate. I was like, you do that too?

Yeah. I couldn't believe it. And now, I mean, I talk about it all the time. Everybody talks about it all the time. I know. I know. It's so, I used to be like,

oh, I wish I could have like an anonymous Twitter where I talk about all the gross stuff I do. And now I'm like, hey, everyone, this is how you come. Well, I want to ask you this.

What do you think it's a two-parter? Really held you back from climaxing. I think you kind of mean, I think you feel like it's a little bit of your body makeup. And then what do you think in general? Like, I mean, and also stuff you may have learned from that you're,

experts that you've had on, like do you feel like it's a lot of mental stuff or people just not knowing their body enough? I think we just don't have as much information out there. Like if you had told me from a young age here, use this thing, it'll help you do something nice. I would have been coming.

Like I knew that my body wasn't defunct at all. And that's somebody, we had Dan Savage on episode one of this season. And he was saying how guys, when they're masturbating from a young age, even if they're not orgasming, because they don't for a really long time. They're building these neural pathways in their brain

where it makes it so that it's like training. You know, like you can't just run a marathon. You have to train. And so it like gets your body accustomed to it or whatever. And like I wasn't doing it enough. If I had been doing it more, I'd be fucking pro by now. Okay. And I think I am now.

I'm an assisted. I bowl with bumpers, but I get a strike every time. Yeah, but multiple organs. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. I'm amazed. Yeah. And yeah, I just wish people talked about it more. I wish sex ed talked about pleasure and and wasn't like I wish somebody had said, hey, Ramee, did you know you could make this

really fun feeling happen and never have sex your entire life? Like you couldn't, you don't have to put anything up your whole. Not that sex isn't great. It's great. But you, you don't have to do that to come and feel good and feel more empowered. Like I feel since, I don't know, I have more control over my life. Because I used to think that my orgasm, if it was going to happen, was going to be in the hands of someone else.

Yeah, penetrating you. You know, that you had to be with a guy to ever feel good, which that makes you feel so jipped. They can go jack off and like get. And we can't. And we can't. Like, I just, I feel like so much more independent. And like my, like, I feel like I can speak up.

up for myself more. New woman. I do. I make a joke in my stand-up that, like, I always felt like I was going to be a child forever. And then the second I had my orgasm, I was like, oh, I'll pay taxes. Not a girl, not yet a woman. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Time to grow up. I do think that, and you probably can speak to this more, but, like, when you have an orgasm, it releases certain chemicals into your body. And so, like, you can have a better day and you can be sharper and not so clouded. and like, yeah, it definitely makes my day better. It's a stress relief. How insane that like an entire gender was like,

they used to call women hysterical because they would be like having kids and never coming and like just so pent up and angry and stuff. And then they would masturbate them. This is a true thing in like, uh, shrink's offices and get them to like come so that they could like just feel fucking better. Also what you're what to back up to what you're saying of which like, not knowing and like all the misinformation, not misinformation, but lack of

information in sex ed. It's like, we're still out here having guys fingering us wrong. Like it's so crazy. Like when a guy just like sticks his fingers up, I'm like, what are you doing? Are you 12? Like it's about the clip, bud. Don't do that. There's like, there's something in there.

There can be like a G spot for some women like if you're like it's like yeah your click goes behind. So you could be touching it from the inside. I'm not saying it doesn't turn me on, but there's a difference between it and enjoying something and actually like climaxing. Right. I hooked up with this guy last year and like,

we're like really going at it and like clothes are being like ripped off. And he's just like before I like, he just like plunges his fingers inside of me. And I'm like, he's like really going at it. I'm like, what is this doing something for you? Yeah. Like the rest is so passionate, hot and sexy, but you're just like,

just so you can like smell your fingers later? And I think, what are you doing? I think guys will sometimes stick a finger or two in there when they're going down on you, which is fine too. But I think you can tell the difference between a man who doesn't know what to do. And I'm like, why are you, are we in middle school? This is, touch my clit.

This is crazy. Pretend that hole doesn't exist unless there's a dick in it. I'm over this. Yeah. I had this guy in 10th grade finger me like so aggressively. Ew. And I, no, I really liked it because I had not had sex before. And I was like, oh, this is sex like just with a hand.

Like he just fucked me with his hand. But that's what it is. He fucked me with his hand. He didn't masturbate me. He didn't make, you know, like, yes, I'm just picturing it. It's like, does your boyfriend masturbate in front of you? No. Not like, like, I wish he would because then I would feel like I'm not the horniest person in the room.

Yeah. No, I wish I could walk in on him sometime or something. And I always like, when I was talking about the rabbit and stuff, like, I was like, oh, it must suck to have like another dick in the room. Like, I don't know how I would feel if there was like a fleshlight in the room. Yeah. But now I'm like, there's another tour. Well, he's the most secure ever.

He's great. But also, like, there is another toy in the room, so I'm like, I kind of want to give him the opportunity to, like, have something else. So Satisfyer makes, like, a men's toy, so I'm getting that for him. You guys can masturbate together. Is it, like, a flashlight style? Yeah, but, like, more wind technology again. Yeah.

I want to watch this. Yeah. I love to watch us masturbate together. I love watching people masturbate. Really? Like, not, like, it's not like the porn that I choose. I have strictly lesbian porn. But I, like, when I'm with it.

somebody in bed. Like I would love to watch them like, I know. I used to not want to. And now I feel like I'm getting way more into it. And I really like to like touch myself in front of a guy. Yeah. Like I'm very like,

so sexy. I turn myself on more than anything. Yeah. In the best. But actually's masturbating. She's like, tell me how pretty I am. Yeah.

It doesn't matter. Ashley, you're beautiful. Tell me how funny I. You don't, don't come in here right now. This hole is not for you right now. Yeah.

This is all about me. I love like masturbating to like turn somebody on. Love it. Yeah, I think it's hot. And Christina Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher came on the I Came episode and they were like, oh, you should try mutual masturbation or whatever. And I was like, I am not there yet. But now like, like, like, lay next to each other and masturbating and like, and like now I'm like very much there. That reminds me like scene in girls when Jessa and Adam were trying not to sleep together. Yes. I feel like is there a more epic mutual masturbation scene. Oh my God. That's the hottest scene ever. It's the hotest thing. I masturbate to that scene. It's such a good scene. Right? Better than the ass eating scene with Marnie. Oh my God.

Not hot. Do you think he was eating her ass or eating her out from behind? Oh, right. They always said it was, they always said he was eating her ass. I think he's probably eating her ass. I mean, usually when he's back there. Yeah.

Yeah. Because somebody said, oh, yeah, they ate my ass from behind recently. And I was like, or eat my, eat me out from behind. And I was like, that's not the best positioning because you're really not going to hit clit. I feel like they were trying to give the impression he was eating her ass. Yeah. Also. I don't want to be eaten out from behind just because, like, I feel like your nose is directly in my

bubble. Yeah. Like, it's not optimal for you. Yeah. I've never had it happen. I don't want it. You're totally right. I don't want your nose in my bubble.

I've had it happen. Like, we're like, I'll get on all fours to, like, get fucked and somebody to start going down on me, like, from behind. I'm like, but I haven't showered. Like, get out of there. Yeah. I don't love being out in the breeze, you know, like, all on display. And, like, you can feel the wind whoosh into your vagina.

Like, I like, I like. to be kind of like plugged up. So did we, did we say this? Like, what do you use to get aroused before you masturbate? Do you,

I usually just horny. You're just horny. Okay. Like I wake up really horny. Do you think about things? Well, what's fucked up is I can. Do you scrolling with Instagram or?

No. You go to Instagram, that's your backup if Rihanna doesn't work. No, both. What are you looking at on Instagram when you masturbate? Whoever I like. You look at a person that you like on Instagram. That's so cute.

There are so many secrets about, I am partially kidding. But sometimes if I like... Neither do you look at on Instagram. No, I'm not like scrolling Instagram with... I'm not on the phone on one hand. I'm mastering the other. But sometimes if I'm really into somebody,

like I can get turned on by like the side of them. Or like I had a guy that used to... I just like having a lot of like real life spank bank material. Totally. Like I had a guy that we're actually still friends. Like, but we had a kind of a weird off and on relationship for a couple years. And he was just the most amazing. sexter. I can't, I wish I still had the sex because I could still get off to them.

One night I got, one night I fully got off. Like I was at home and I, he was like sexting me and I was like, I need to like move off the couch because the couch is what. Like I fully got off. I mean, I did masturbate and touch myself, but to his like sex. So I get turned on by guys I like, like either littleest thing, like flirty things that they say. And so I just am like, I like to use real life stuff with whoever I'm kind of like into at the moment. I know. Also, just to share like a personal story with the Instagram thing, I remember my like longer term ex when we first started dating.

We were looking at something at Instagram and he looked at a picture and it was at me. He goes, oh, I, he didn't even mean to say it. He was like, oh yeah, I like jerked off to that picture of you. Like, yeah. Because I was wearing a bikini top. Yeah. But it was holding my friend's kid. Like it was.

I mean, I had like cleavage. That's amazing. Literally holding my friend's four-year-old son. That's unreal. And I was like, man are unstoppable. Do you feel weird about masturbating to my friend's kid? No, men are so disgusting. They can't be stopped.

But it was because there was like a little bit of gleeved. No, but it means that he doesn't have a Madonna horror complex too. Like he could see you as a mother and still find you like sexually attractive. I love that. I love that. Yeah. I love that. Hit it. That was one of the first times where I felt super turned on by hearing him saying that.

Like I think he jerked off to you. Yeah. Before I used to be like, oh, that's a little. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about it. But then I was like, that's hot. Yeah. Tell me how you jerk off.

to me more. I don't want to hear how creeps jerk off to me, but I want to hear if it's cute and I like them. I love sexting so much. Like nothing turns me on more than like being at my desk. Not, I mean, like when I had a job and somebody would like G-chat you. Che-chat. You just sex stuff. And like getting all wet at your desk, nothing turns me on more than when somebody's like in church with their mom and telling you like how they're just like thinking about how rock hard they're going to get when they see you. Oh my God. Oh my God. It turns me on so much. It's crazy. I like come from sexting. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not good at. sexting. I love receiving them, but I'm not creative enough. And I'm like, I always like, I can't really take myself seriously enough yet. I feel like that too. It's they need to kind of be the

lead. Yeah. Also, you've been in a relationship for a long time. I think it's easier in the beginning where like you haven't had sex a billion times. Like you're like, like there's no mystery left. I once sent my ex. I want to suck the skin off your dick because I heard that somewhere. And I heard, I thought that sounded sexy. You like that? That is no idol at all. I make sure. Here's how I'm. change that maybe if I was going to edit that text message. I want to suck the cum out of your dick. There it is.

You don't want to make somebody think you're going to harm them. Yeah. I just, I'm picturing like a carrot peeler. Like I just don't. Yeah, no, I pictured it in a bad way too,

but I was still like fun. I love this. I'm going to leave lacerations on your cocked. Does I turn you on? And I'm going to split your balls in half. You're just going to have a raw beans. There's no skin on it when I'm done with you. I would go to a sexting class.

I would absolutely, like, one of my girlfriends is so good at it. I used to give her my phone to do it. Like, like, people would just be sexting with her and not me. She's so creative. Yeah. That's so funny. I can't come up with that stuff. Yeah.

I mean, it's just so hot. Yeah. Because women are so mental. Yeah. Like, I don't never send me a dick pick, but send me what you want to do to me. Yeah. Okay. We want to, I guess, leave the listeners with a takeaway.

Oh. I think every, obviously, everybody is different. Everybody is different. If someone's having trouble coming, do you obviously feel like the toy route is good to go? Also, listen to your podcast. Yeah, I would go through my assignments. That's what a lot of people have done.

They have. Like, some people will come on assignment one and be like, whoa, that was the first time I took time for myself. Yeah. Also, just acknowledge that, like, you are there for your pleasure. Like, this is going to be an exciting thing. Like, we stopped calling them assignments and started calling them opportunities. Yeah.

Because it wasn't like, oh, you have to do this thing. It's like you get to do this fun thing that's like going to improve your life. Yeah. So yeah. Don't blame other people if they don't know what they're doing. Try to say directive stuff in the nicest way possible. Like I used to do a lot of like, don't do that. Don't do that.

Instead of saying, I like it when you do this. And if you're in a relationship where you want to, you want the person to make you come, they should want to. Yeah. Or you're fucking a person, right? Like if they didn't make you come, like, hey, next time we're fucking, like, would you mind making me come? They might not even know that women can't have orgasms. Like, if I didn't know.

Or what it sounds like, every time you've sexed the guy at the end, they're like, did you come? You're like, that's not how this works? Yeah. Do you have no idea how this works? That happens a lot. Also, don't lie to people. Don't have fake orgasms because that's going to be worse for you for the next time. They're going to be like, wait, but last time you loved it.

And also, it's going to be the next worst for the next girl or, you know, like, I know, it's a it's a bad cycle. Yeah. And so, yeah, I think the takeaway is. like just ask for what you want. And it doesn't ask what you want. Yeah. And I think like I'm just personally just huge on dirty talk. Like I mean again, not everybody feels super comfortable. But for me like that's probably more of a way to make me come personally than like what you're doing down there. So I want to change the verbiage though. I always thought dirty talk sounded really bad.

Okay. It was going to be like, oh yeah, you're little twat or whatever. Like I like body worship. You know, like just call me hot. Say like, oh my God. Your tits are amazing. I like. You know, You know, like that first thing. You like saying dirty talk? No, I like being a whole. Well, you like hearing about how much cum they're going to make. But I also like being called a slut. Yeah, she likes the dirty slut talk.

I like that you're so hot talk. Okay, I don't like being called a slut. I don't, I've never been, I don't even know what I would do. It's never happened. It's happened to me. I got into it and I was like, okay, yeah, I guess I'm being a little slut, but like, it's not. Oh, I never, it's never happened. Yeah, it's not what I.

Rain and I are so different. I prefer. Yeah. But I like bought. I like the, called it body worship. I think that's a very cool term. Yeah. That's also like if you're looking to get into dirty talk, that's a very easy gateway.

Yeah. Talk about how, tell me how I am. Ooh, I love your skin. Like anything that just makes you. There it is. I love that shirt you wore today. Yeah. I love how you smell. Like anything that's like says like, I'm so happy to be here. Yeah. You know, and like tell me how good this feels. Yeah. It takes, yeah. Oh my God. Well, that's why you like the cum thing. It's like no one's ever made me calm this much. Like it's a positive affirmation. It's a positive. It's a positive. It's a positive. positive affirmation. No one's ever made me come this much. I feel like is your

the number one thing you'd want to hear. I think I just came. I think she just came. I once told a guy while we were fucking that I think his dick was made for me. And I thought that was the nicest thing. Because I was like, we fit together so well. Like you're hitting all of my spots. But how can I say this dirty? Your cock was made for this. No, I just, I was like, I feel like your dick was made for me. I feel like there's a song I'm trying to think of. Like, God must have spent a little more time on you. Your dick. You were made for me.

And I was made for your dick. Yeah. Exactly. By Jewel. You were meant for me. That's the song I'm thinking of. That's the song I'm thinking of is to Chul's. You were meant for me.

I woke up this morning. You're just singing to a dick. You're just like serenading a dick. What if you woke up to that? These hands are not my... These hands are small, I know. But next to your dick, they look even smaller. Your dick's huge.

I love your dick. All right. We need to wrap up. Plug all your stuff. Yeah, tell people where they can find you and what your Instagram. Okay. You can find me on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at Remy Kasimir. My podcast Howcome is also on those platforms at Howcome Podcast.

I have another podcast. a little known fact called We Really Love Island, where I binge the British reality show phenomenon Love Island. Oh my God. I've been talking to this guy that said he was maybe going to go on that show. It's the most interesting anthropological experiment I've ever seen in my life. Oh my God. Is he going to fall in love? He might. Or he might realize it's you. And then they'll call you and bring you onto the island and be like, let's drop Ashley in there. Literally season one of Love Island, they had this one guy. like in my plugs. But they had this one guy who like was so hot, wasn't liking anyone.

And then they dropped this girl and who had dated like a year before. And they were like, oh my God. And then they had a baby. What? Yeah. It's going to happen for you. All right. Hold on.

What's that one called? So that one's called Where You Really Love Island. And then if you want to see my standup, just go to remie casimir. I have all my dates there. And we have our first live show coming up at Stand Up New York. Tickets are not available yet, but get primed and follow all the Instagram so you know when you can. When?

Is it going to be? Do you know? April 25th. Okay. And I'm having Lola Jean who did the masturbating class on. And she is also an expert sexter. So she's going to give a sexting exercise.

I was so interested that you brought it up. Oh my God. So, yeah, it's a sexting and squirting live pod with me and Lola. And we're also going to have a bunch of our first season guests come back to do some stand-up, too, for the second time. Yeah. I love this.

This sounds great. All right. guys get tickets to this for sure. This sounds amazing. Follow along, get ticks. Okay. That's it. And that's it.

Thank you for coming. As always, you guys can find us at Girls Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram. Our website is Girls Gottyup Podcast.com. We have really cool merchandise. We have tickets. All the stuff you guys know. All the shows we announce. We announce a whole bunch of new cities.

So check the website to get your tickets before they sell out. Yeah. That's it. That's the main thing. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye.