Girls Gotta Eat - How to Keep the Holidays Happy

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

Holidays, families, gift stress, weird traditions....there's so much to consider (and so much that can go wrong) when it comes to dating someone during "the most wonderful time of the year." We discuss all these tricky topics so you don't end up with a Blue Christmas. We also recap our Chicago trip (including an awkward hotel incident), and uncover another shocking reveal about Rayna during a festive round of Fuck Marry Kill. Enjoy! Follow Girls Gotta on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, check our website for show dates and merchandise, and THIS JUST IN: Bonus episodes at Patreon.com/GirlsGottaEat! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want all the information. Right. You need to be fully prepared like you're going into combat. But you are. You're fighting for the life of your relationship. You're fighting for your life. Listen, it's your biggest ally if you can be friend of the family. Hi, guys.

Coming to you from my apartment. Welcome back to another episode of Ashley's apartment girls got to eat. We got a bunch of messages from you guys. We just want to announce the live shows. I want to address the live shows. Don't get out of yourself. I got excited. Address the live show.

I feel like when we're at the studio, I'm so professional. I get in your apartment, all of a sudden I can't say words. That's what it is. It's comfortability. It's the, uh, it's the asbestos. On your murder floor? It makes your brain stop working for. We're definitely like on the spectrum from being in this apartment so much.

Is that what's wrong with me? Like lead. Yeah, it's like lead dust. It gets near your. brain. I don't know if you knew this, but there was a lot of things around with me before we became friends and I started coming here. And that's what happened. Yeah. This just triggered it. Anyways, an announcement about upcoming shows. Yes. So we just need to get everything in order with the links up. We don't want to announce this stuff and not have everything ready for you guys.

So we promise next week, Cyber Monday. Cyber Monday. That was not planned. It was really weird. That's when you're going to get some announcements and hopefully we'll even have more than we even know right now. So we'll be able to do a full-blown tour announcement. Links will be ready. Everything will be at our website. So stay tuned. We got a little ahead of ourselves.

We thought we were going to announce today, but we're not. On Cyber Monday, I'm going to be at the mall in Pittsburgh, and I feel like I can just like live tweet what's going on for everybody. I'll just be at like the gap in the Pittsburgh Ross Park City Mall. Tweet. Interesting. That you said tweet. I'm on Twitter now.

You're not on our Twitter. Raina, it's like the beanies. You are on Twitter but refuse to look at the girls got to eat Twitter. I'm over here just tweeting at our fans and you're like, oh, I'm over here finding jokes from other comedians. Seriously, I mined the best tweet last week.

We got the most engagement we've ever gotten on. I think we posted. Oh, it was so good about the trash. Yeah, all we had to do was be on Twitter. So that's where all the jokes are. Like, I feel like people don't realize that. Like, every meme was a tweet. You know, like when the fat Jewish and fuck Jerry started all those, those were tweets.

Well, like, the real talent. I mean, they cropped out the handle. You know, that was the whole scandal. But, like, every joke's the tweet. Well, like, the real talent is being able to say something concisely, which is exactly what Twitter is built for. Like, that's comedic talent is being able to, like, 140 characters. Right.

Say something hysterical. And now I know. So when they, like, made it to 280, people were pissed. They were like, oh, no, anyone can make jokes. That trash one was long. It was so long. But it was worth it. I saw you nodding off in the middle of reading it.

You're the one that hates reading. Oh, no, you read now. I read now. Should we announce this? Did I read now? Guys, coming to you live announcing that I read books now. We didn't announce all the shows you wouldn't hear about, but Raina reads now. You're welcome.

I have become so pretentious about my hobbies lately. Like, I watch comedy every night. I read a book every day. and like I have to tell people. You do. I'm so obnoxious about it. Yeah, exactly. Some people are out here like bragging about being vegan or CrossFit and you're like, I read now.

I'm still in my apartment naked under a blanket, but I'm doing more productive activities. I just like to feel like I am mentally stimulating myself all the time. Right. I still read like mostly memes on Instagram, but still read, you know words. You're still stimulated. Comedically, comedically. But, God, so many announcements. Raina reads, show dates next week.

And we are really excited about this one. You guys have been asking. You guys have been begging for more content. And as a holiday gift on this holiday episode, we are gifting you more content. Yeah. Falal la la la la. Okay. So we have actually started using this really cool platform we found called Patreon.

It's great for creators in general. But basically it's a monthly subscription service. And we're going to be releasing bonus. episodes for you guys. Probably every other week. Yeah. What we're thinking now, and this is going to, again, very fluid. We're going to play with it.

But right now we're going to do a membership subscription. So you guys will join and you'll get two bonus episodes a month. I'd be excited. Yeah. I mean, the formats a little differently. You'll just have to go over there and see. There's one right now waiting for you. Open me up like a present.

You are really on theme today. The way that you guys can find this is at patreon.com backslash Girls Got to Eat. So super simple for you guys. You can do it on your phones. So you can listen to your car. And obviously the internet on your computer. If people are still doing that, you can listen from your computer. Patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.

Oh, thank you for sign that. So like patron with an E. And yeah, slash Girls Got to Eat. And that'll let you sign up. It's not expensive. Nope. And then, you know, let us. what you guys think. We're able to add extra things here and personalize it, make it cool. So

we would love your feedback guys. Should we tease with the first episode? The first episode, we told our full friendship story. Oh, yeah. And how we started this podcast. And we answered some listener emails that were really, really funny. Yeah, we've just been wanting to find a way to incorporate more of your emails also because you guys sent us so many amazing emails. And so we're really, really going to use this as a platform to really go through a lot of those. And I shared the secret tip for getting a guy to go down on you. I mean, that to me is worth a monthly subscription on a phone. I love this.

I actually just finished editing the episode, so I'm very familiar with what we talked about. It's really fun. And it's like super casual. We're doing them for my apartment. You might hear a Dewey cameo barking every once in a while. But Patreon.com. Yeah, I'm excited.

So guys, let us know your feedback. And we'll do this on Instagram too. We'll do the swipeups and all that kind of stuff. Get on there, guys. All right. next. We just got back from Chicago. We did. Chicago was incredible. I love it. It always is. It never fails. I'm so excited you love it as much as I do. Yeah. It would just be hard if like you loved Paris and I hated it. Oh my God. You love Vegas and I hated it. I'm just glad to be like both love Chicago so much. Yeah. It would be hard. I would judge you if you didn't love it. But anyways, we did a live show there at the city winery. It was so much fun. The crowd was amazing. Yeah. We stayed at this great hotel, the Raphaelho Hotel, right off of Michigan Avenue.

The location was perfect. Really cool rooftop bar. Oh, yeah. At Rafaelo, the rooftop bar is called Drum Bar. It's really good. The room was huge. Okay, we need to talk about something that happened in the hotel. So we had a suite, like a king suite, bigger than my apartment and yours combined.

Times two, yeah. Right. And we were sharing a king bed. So the first night, Raina got into bed sooner than me, and I was still like washing my face, doing my routine, whatever. And I went to jump to get into bed. And I noticed that there was like a pillow in between where we would sleep. Like a barrier.

Like a barrier. Like no one has ever friends owned me that hard. Like couldn't be more like, don't touch me while you're sleeping. But I didn't put it there on purpose. and like I also woke up in the middle. I didn't realize it was there. I thought you put it there. And I woke up in the middle of the night

and I had the same thought. I was like, I slept in a bed with this person like a lot and like smaller beds than this. Right. And I was like, is she afraid I'm going to touch her in the middle of the night all of a sudden? Like I'm going to just spontaneously be attracted to you

and just like reach over and grab a tit. Don't get any ideas. It was so funny that I went to, we talked about this the next day. We could not stop laughing. I went to bed being like, well, that's interesting. This is new.

And you woke up and you were like, wow, okay, Ashley. Right. Like, I thought in the middle of the night you decided to create a fort around your body so I didn't accidentally touch you. And I think it's funny when neither of us acknowledges it. So the next day we're both like, so about that pillow. It's kind of weird. So the next night before we went to sleep,

I just had to make it clear what the deal was. So I took off my robe, laid it down on the bed in between us. And then I told her to imagine that the robe was hot lava. The robe is lava. Pretend there's not lava all around my body. Don't touch me. You actually did get up in the middle of the night and leave me at some point. Well, that was my fault because I remember I had the heat blasting.

Yeah. And the room never got cool. It was ever. What time was it 4 o'clock in the morning when you went the other room? I mean, so also I went into, do you see where I slept? When you left the next morning, it was a Murphy bed. What was that? I left.

I started thinking like, where did she find another bed? At three in the morning. Literally, first of all, you apologize to me at three in the morning. You're like, this isn't personal. I'm just going to go in the other room. Okay. You, okay, we've never discussed this. This is the first time this is happening.

So when I checked in, they called up to the room and they were like, hey, we knew you guys wanted, you asked for two beds. And I'm like, it's fine because there's a king. Or they were like, do you need to roll away, whatever? And they were like, just so you know there's a Murphy bed. So I'm scanning the room like, where's this hidden bed, right? Murphy beds like come out of the wall. Yeah.

I mean, I'm sure most people know that. Obviously, all New Yorkers know when a Murphy bed is. So I'm like scanning the room and there was this little office area. And it comes out of, it can be hidden. They come out of like a bookcase. It's like a fucking secret door. So I'm like, I think the bed's behind there. So I pull it down.

I'm sure enough there's a Murphy bed. So the fact that in the middle of the night, the room was too hot, I went out and slept in this secret Murphy bed and you left. And you left the next morning. You were like, what the fuck? I didn't know where you got to bed from it. Three o'clock in the morning. You got up in the middle of the night.

You apologized to me for, like, insulting me. And you left. I didn't know where you went. I just am dying, thinking about you getting up to go to the airport in the morning and being like Ashley sleeping in a bed that just came out of the wall that I had no idea about. You did not even know. I never told you there was that Murphy bed. I thought that you called and got a cot at 3 o'clock in the morning because I was,

it's a separate room, the office. So like I was like in that office the whole morning, the morning before. So I was like, where did this bed come from? Ashley just not here pulling beds out of the wall. I was glad we survived this. my God. But the show, anyway, the show is great. I love, I love City Winery. We performed there in Atlanta, which was also fantastic. It's beautiful there. They made custom wine bottles with our face on them. Some of you guys bought them. 14 of you guys, exactly. Not enough. It could have been more.

Yeah, it's fine. 300 of you over. It's not, it's not a big deal. It's cool. The show was so great. The show was so great. Raina's family was there. I'm sure everyone is still wondering if she still has a family. Spoiler alert. I do still have a family, guys. They are so great. They were really good sports and I wasn't, you know, my mom and my brother don't listen to the show. Obviously, I don't want to hear about my sex life. So I was a little concerned about how they would feel about it. And also, like, you've been doing live performing for a long time, but I've never done it. And so I think I tell my parents about the podcast, things like that.

I think that they think it's cool, but they don't really know, like, what we've built and how amazing it is. Right. I'm so proud of it. And they're proud of me. I just don't think that they really understand, like, what we've built. And I think being in that room, I knew that they were full. finally going to like understand. And when we wrap the show, my brother, who's like the most like buttoned up, like white man, football player. Football player. Quarterback. Big man on campus.

Finance guy. Like totally. All the stereotypes. He is them. He was really, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, I just, I'm so proud of you. I can't believe this. What a pussy. And it was. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I love you, darling. Wow, you're not invited to our family anymore. Well, and also, I mean, clearly older women don't come to our show. Um, so everybody knew your mom. I mean, there's one mom in the show and that's Raina's mom. And so people were like hitting her up for pictures in the bathroom. Yeah, if you were taking selfies with my mom. Your mom was like signing tits in the bathroom. Raina's mom. Hashtag Raina's mom. She's a really good sport at that. It really is so cool. And I think,

I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but when we did Caroline's, which was obviously incredible and that was our first show and it was totally sold out. My parents came and they didn't know that it was sold out. I don't know why. I just never told them. So they were like sitting there like, oh my God, what if no one shows? They had no idea. And then once it started, they started to realize what was happening.

They were fucking floored. And I'm sure your parents felt the same way, like, especially for you. Never even done a goddamn talent show in your life. And all of a sudden, like, 300 people are screaming for you. Like, they're probably like, what? We made this. I just think that our audience is so amazing. I'm not just like saying that.

Like, I've never felt an energy in a. room for a live show other than like huge concerts that have like an energy like this. Yeah. Like our fans are just, they're so much fun and they're smart and they're like fun to talk to. And so I think the energy is really like special to be around. So guys, buy tickets to all of our live shows. And I guess we should shout out while we're discussing it. We had Andrew Collin.

We brought him, the dog whisper. You can find him on our episode title, Doing a Doggy Style, one of the funniest fucking episodes ever. He opened and then he came back out with this at the end. So hysterical. We had a psychotherapist and fellow podcaster named Nell Daley who came on and we talked about some sex topics with her and other things from like a professional standpoint. So they were great. They really helped make the show. And just, I mean, having Andrew with us is just so funny. I just love it. He's so good. He just makes me laugh. It just feels like having a family member on stage. We had him. We were like, when you come back out at the end during the last segment, can you bring us like a bottle of wine? He like brought, he was trying to manage a bottle, two, three glasses and get his mic out of the stand. It was like the funniest thing. We're just sitting there heckling him.

Didn't even get up to help. Literally, neither one of us got up to help. We were like, get it together. Right. Like, you've never bartended before. Get out of here. But anyways, the show is great.

Chicago show was so great. Buy tickets to all over other shows. Yes. Next week, we announce it. It may or may not be in Chicago again. Cool. All right. Well, speaking, is that it?

You have anything else to say? Good. Can we get to the topic? Yeah, let's do it. We are, I'm really excited about this idea. This is Ashley's idea. We are so pumped. So speaking of families and get-togethers, this is a holiday episode.

Holiday episode. You guys ask us a lot, especially coming up now, about meeting a significant other's family. What do I get somebody for a gift over the holidays? I think that that provokes so much anxiety. Just like having that talk of like, what are we? Should I come home with you? Like all these, we get a lot of questions about this. Right.

Like I feel like holidays is. oh, I'm so excited or it like evokes a sense of fear, you know? Like it means something different to everybody. It's the highest suicide rate of the year. That's so crazy. Yeah, well, I mean, I think people feel really alone during this time of year. I'm really stressed out. I also read that it's the highest rate of engagements and breakups because I think that like

all of these senses are heightened during this time of the year because people are like, oh my God, do I have to commit to this person? And they're either so excited to do it. So tons of engagements. Or like, oh, my God, I don't ever want to bring this person home for the holidays, so like let's just dead this. Yeah, totally. And we asked you guys on Instagram what you wanted to talk about. We kind of had an idea of what people wanted to know. But as always, you guys came through with even more topics and more burning questions about the holidays

and relationships and dating and gifts and families. You guys are stressed out about the holidays. I mean, yeah, so let's let's dive in. Number one question, when do I bring somebody home for the holidays? Never. Sorry. If you guys listen to the episode with Lindsay Metzler from We Metta Hackme, she's a good friend of mine. She's just so deadpan. We were like, when do you define the relationship? Never.

But she, it's the best, it's the best answer. It's so deadpan. Like, it's very funny that she said it like that, but she actually means it and she had all this stuff to back it up. You know? It's very funny. I think that, I mean, I think we both probably have a lot to say about this, but like I think this is a really important decision and I think that like it shouldn't be taken lightly and especially taking somebody from for the holidays makes a really big

statement that like, I mean, it does to me anyways. I wouldn't bring somebody home unless I was like really signed up to be with them for a little while. So I think it's really important. I think that you should talk about your relationship and like this is the, this is the DTR time. Oh, absolutely. I mean, first of all, I would like to say that. the holidays are such a high pressure.

It can be super tense situation. It can be tons of family. Maybe there's travel. Maybe there's flights involved. I think the first thing to do is just remove the pressure from the holiday in general. Like I have brought home two guys, two different guys to my family's holiday celebrations. I brought one guy at Thanksgiving and one guy at Christmas over the years. And they had both met my family before that.

So for me, my family is really amazing. We'll get to, we'll get to this. So it's really never meeting the family is not a big. deal to me. I'll be dating a guy casually and he can meet my parents. If they're around, they have to run into each other. But spending some, spending time and getting on a flight or taking a drive and meeting someone's family and spending time with them is like pretty serious. You know, so I just think take the pressure off of it. If you're dating somebody that you're unsure, don't do it. Like it's, it's not necessary. I mean, maybe it's like you go on their

family, their summer vacation with them. My last year's relationship, he met my family. He came on our, he came to Dewey Beach for the summer with us. And that was how we met. them and that's another important thing in our family. So I think people get all wrapped up and like, the holidays are coming up and I have a boyfriend and is it too soon? And it's like, maybe I just don't worry about it. Like if you're really going to be with somebody, you have all the holidays in the world to spend with them. And I think people get too wrapped up and like, is it bad if I'm not meeting my significant other's family over the holidays? And like, I don't know that that's ideal time to meet somebody's family. Well, I don't think so either. I like I don't, sometimes

you don't have a choice and I'll tell a story of what happened to me because I just my friend, my boyfriend's family at the time didn't live anywhere near here. but like if there's any way to meet somebody's family, even if like, even if you could FaceTime with somebody's mom while they're on the phone with the person ahead of time or like your brother's girlfriend sent you that really cute text. And I know we know her, but I think that it is just really important to like,

don't meet them at this time if you don't have to. If you don't have to. What's the rush? If you really think this is a partner that you're going to be with, I don't see the need to rush into a family, holiday situation. I think as a barometer, you really want a measurement of if the time is right. I think it's that you're fully committed to this person. You both are on the same page about seeing a long-term future. So as long as those things are together, I think you're ready to meet families

potentially. If not, don't do it. And I think I was out with Merrill last night. We talk about her lot. She's a good friend of mine. And she was saying, I love this point. She was like, ask yourself why you want to bring them home or if it's you deciding if you're going to bring them home. Is it because you need a crutch? Is it because you just don't want to be asked why you're single? Like, ask yourself if you're really bringing them home because you love this person and you want them to meet your family. Like, don't bring somebody home if it's like, I just need someone so I'm not alone, you know? Right. It's the same thing as weddings. I think that like sometimes we bring somebody to a wedding and it's like it brings up all these questions and now like your parents are going to ask you until

the end of time. What happened to that guy? What's the future with that guy? Until you're ready to answer those questions too. I think that like there's no exact timestamp for me because I think that people want an answer for the timestamp. And I think like under two months, I just probably wouldn't do it. I just, I wouldn't consider it. I think like four months in is when it starts to be that like weird gray area where you're like, I really care about this person and we do seem to love each other.

But he hasn't asked me to go home and like, what does that mean? Nothing. It's fine. It doesn't mean anything. And I had, um, that's even soon for some people. I mean, it depends on how fast your relationship moved, you know. I think that you need to be honest. and I had somebody say this to me about my birthday, not a holiday, but something very similar.

I had dated somebody for about three or four months, and we got back together, and we had been back together for about a month. And it was my birthday, and he wanted to come to New York, and I wanted to go to Pittsburgh. And I said to him, why don't you just come to Pittsburgh with me? Because in my mind, it's no big deal. And he, like, didn't really talk to me all day, and he called me later. And what he said was, I just don't know where this relationship is going. And he was like, we've been back together for a month, and I'm happy, and this is good. But, like, if we're we go home and we meet all of your friends and I'm with your family, then people are going to want to have a definition as to what this is.

And he was honest with me and he just said, I don't know that I'm ready to define this. And I will never forget that. And I really appreciated it. And it hurt my feelings in the moment. But like as soon as I hung up the phone, I was just like, that makes a lot of sense.

And it takes the pressure off me too. For sure. Because then I get to go enjoy my experience with my family and my friends. And nobody's going to be like, why don't you bring your boyfriend home? You know, it's, nobody's going to hurt your feelings and do that to you if they really love you.

Right. And for me, like, I really love spending holidays with my family. They're super sacred. I've gone home for almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas, even when I lived in Georgia. And like, I just love my family and that time is so precious to me. And it's even more precious as your parents age and all these things. And I'm not going with somebody and wasting a holiday unless I'm really sure there for me. You know, like, I don't know what's going to happen when I'm really in serious relationship with somebody and they really want to spend every holiday with their family as well. I mean, clearly compromises is going to have to happen. And that's, understandable. But if I'm just newly dating somebody and they're like, I want you to come on with me for Thanksgiving Christmas, I don't know that I'd be into that. I'd be like, hey, why don't we just go in the spring? Or like, can I meet your family another time? Like, I don't know that I want to, especially to me, I feel very strongly about if your significant other has a core family, you know, they're parents, brothers, sisters, whatever. And you haven't met the parents and then you have to meet everybody else. You know, if it's a situation where all the family comes over and there's aunts and uncles and you're just meeting their parents for the first time and now it's like the whole

extended family. It's too much. Also, nobody's going to get, I think, the best version of you or the most honest version of you when you have to, yes, I think next up we will obviously talk about how to like calm down and feel good when you go into the situation because a lot of people do have to do that. But I just think that like if you can go out to dinner with somebody's family first, like walking into a situation where everybody knows each other, that's the worst version of me. I don't know that everybody's like that, but like, I'm the most nervous when everybody's comfortable. Everybody knows each other. I don't know like how to be sometimes. So it's not necessarily even the best version of myself or how I want to meet people. Absolutely. I think it's just a high

pressure situation that there's a lot of families have tons of drama at all surfaces around the holidays. And I think if you ask yourself like at what point do I need to be spending holidays with my significant other. I don't know when you're fucking married. Like I just don't. I think if it feels like it could be too soon, it's probably too soon. Yeah. And who cares, you know, go see your family. or go take a trip or whatever your holiday traditions are, I think that's like, step one is just like, let's just release the pressure here

of I'm dating somebody under a year and wondering if we need to spend the holidays together. I don't necessarily think so. I don't really want to be bothered, to be honest. Like, I like me with my family. I just like being left alone. I like to be able to go when I'm home. I call them three times a year.

I want to go see the friends. I want to see when I want to see them. I want to see the family members I want to see. I don't really want to babysit another person. If I was super in love, look at it as babysitting. Yeah. I would be excited to introduce somebody.

But I don't know. There's something nice about just doing it on your own. Yeah. And I think also it feels to me that you and I are both discussing when there's a travel involved in some way. If you live in the same town, well, then you probably already met the family. But I mean, I am thinking of like my cousin. We would always joke about her just having like a new guy every holiday.

She's engaged now to a guy that we really, really love. And I met him when she brought him to Thanksgiving. So for her, you know, Maybe it works out that the first time he's meeting everybody is a holiday because we all live close and it's not as big of a deal. But I think it adds an extra layer of seriousness and pressure when there's like a flight or a long road trip or you're having to not see your family and sacrifice that to meet somebody else's family. Yeah. Oh yeah. I didn't even think about the travel in general is just in the winter. It's just it's not good. If you don't have to, I wouldn't do it.

But if it feels right, if you guys are committed, you see a long-term future with this person and it seems like a good situation, then do it. But if not, don't do it. Who cares? Right. See them in the spring. Do whatever. Like, whatever.

Go on vacation. I don't know. I like what you said. If you're really going to be together, you've tons of times to be with the person. Right. Or, I mean, I think a really good solution is to date somebody of like a different religion than you

so that like you can go home for their holidays and they can go for your holidays. And then like you can alleviate the stress of like who's going to go to whose place for which holidays. I love. that's why I wanted to be a Jewish guy. I've said so many Jewish friends over the year spend Christmas with my family. I'm looking forward to it.

Like, I haven't been invited. I just, I invited myself. Like my friend who spent, she spent a lot of Christmases with us because she lived in New York. She was like, can I come to Christmas and bring my kid? I'm like, what? That's bold, but I guess.

Your family just seems like they would be very accepting. It's very, the more the merrier. Mine's the opposite. My mom's like, under no circumstances, are you adding one more? person to my dinner. Raina, this has been planned for a month under no circumstance, even though we have food for like a month after dinners, absolutely under. The phrase under no circumstances gets thrown a lot at my face. That is very funny. No circumstances. So I do think that

there's like some really important things that you can do to like just alleviate the stress ahead of time. And like, I don't know why people wouldn't be doing this, but like, and it sounds pretty simple, but like, you should like debrief your significant other. Here's weird. family quirks. Here's like the relatives to maybe like not say this thing in front of. And just like family traditions and things that are important to you guys. Just so that like the person is walking in with like a folio of information. I mean more the more information the better. And I want to hear, are you telling a story? Is that where we're going? Oh, I thought well, I want to hear your crazy story. I obviously want to get into a discussion about different

politics and things like that. But that aside, yes, full blown PowerPoint presentation. This is racist uncle Bobby. This is like my weird, creepy cousin. Like, whatever it is. Like, grandma doesn't know we live together. Yeah, grandma is full, has full dementia. Like, she doesn't know who I am.

She's not going to know who you are. You know, whatever it is, I want all the information. Right. You need to be fully prepared. Like, you're going into combat. But you are. You're fighting for the life of your relationship.

You're fighting for your life. Listen, it is, I always say this. And it is your biggest friend. If you can, it's your biggest ally if you can be friend of the family. Because like when somebody's having problems with you, they're going to talk to their family about it. And you want the family to be on your side.

Yeah. So for selfish reasons, walk in there and be a good version of yourself. And let me just say this. If that's not a conversation you feel comfortable having, you're definitely not supposed to go. Like you should be at a full blown point in your relationship where you guys pour a glass of wine or whatever it is and you sit down and talk about your fucking weird family.

It's like that's just what it should be. and if you are not there, you do not go. 100%. I can't imagine why you would want to go home with somebody if you weren't in that place with them. I think people, that's what I'm just saying. I feel like sometimes, especially, you know, if you're a little younger, you're like,

this is what we're supposed to do. No, it does not mean that. Yeah, like, I have a boyfriend. I'm supposed to go with him for Thanksgiving and he's supposed to go with me for Christmas. Like, girl, are you married now? Then who gives a fuck? I just think people get upset and around that like six-month mark

when somebody doesn't ask them to go home and then you say to yourself like, well, what does that mean? You know, if you are fully committed and you are, you think in love. And I think for some people, they do bring a new significant other home every year. And so, like, the family, she's like, Mad Houselthine. World famous Matt Houselty. Yeah, but your brother's so cute.

My brother is a serial monogamist. I mean, he, like, he loves love. But I think the girl is with now. I'm a huge fan. She sent you an amazing tax. And I wanted to bring this up because I just thought it was, like, such a good way to prep for going to, like, be around somebody. It's like, first of all, I would. just if you can get to know

somebody's family a little bit. Right. Isn't your first in her... She sent you this really cute text. I know that we've hung out with her before like at Dewe Beach when we were all drunk and they weren't really in a serious relationship then. But she sent you that really cute text

about how she's like excited to spend time with you. And I really... It touched me. So she's there coming to New York and then I'm riding back with my brother for Thanksgiving. And she just sent me a text like, hey, I got your number from Matt and just wanted to say that I'm excited to see you.

That was it. It wasn't like anything else besides just being sweet. I was really impressed by it. I know. And it's so cute. And like, what would you call that in, um, is there a word for this in like real world job lingo?

Like a warm, uh, a warm touch. A warm touch. No. Like you, like, it's not a cold call. Not a, that's what I mean. It's called a warm call or a warm touch. A warm. Yeah, that's you call it warm.

Yeah. She was warming me up. Yeah. She warming you up. But I think even if you can do that with somebody's mom, especially, I thought that was just so cool and so smart. I never thought to do something like that, but that was really nice. She just, she didn't try to open a conversation, be your best friend. She was just like, I'm looking forward to this. Right. Yes. She wasn't like, and also, you know, it was just like, hi,

because I got your number. I took the initiative to get my number and say, I'm excited to see you. And it was really sweet. So I love that. So a warm touch. That's the actual term. Ashley's always like, what is it in job words? I don't know how to talk about job things. So everybody loves a warm touch. But we want to talk about what happens when they're talking about what happens when their family's terrible, your family's terrible. I mean, I think it can't be ignored that people in this current political landscape, like, that you get scared that you might walk into a situation where you're dealing with people

that have a lot of different views than you. Yeah, for sure. And you hear, people don't like to go home to their own families sometimes. I mean, families have. are divided more than ever and getting fights over the Thanksgiving turkey. And I think you hear about this stuff all the time. So I think that if you are, and we got a few questions like this, if you were a really passionate person and you have a lot of strong opinions like I do,

and you get thrown into a situation where you're going to be at the table with some people that are drastically different. Like, what do you do? I think it's scary. And I think not just politics. I mean, I don't know, like I dated somebody. My mom was always just arguing with me and trying to like get him on my side. She'd pick a fight with me and then look at him and be like,

what do you think? And it's like, I think that you just have to be prepared for some interesting family dynamics. And I don't know, you might have a different opinion than me about this, but I don't think necessarily this is the time to take a stance on your views. Like it's, you're not losing out by like, if you're by yourself with somebody's family in another state where you don't live, I don't think it's that bad to just sort of keep it to yourself. Yeah. I mean, that's fine. You know, I think, but I worry for people that have a situation where you're going to be surrounded by people that are saying really fucked up offensive stuff. So I think you need to like be prepared.

Like if I walked into somebody's family and it's just like every TV is at Fox News and everybody's spewing a bunch of crazy shit and people are saying stuff about gays and the migrant caravan and you know, blaming Jews for being shot in their own church and like crazy shit, I want to know what's going on. Yeah. And I think some people can just totally sit back. I'm not saying that I want to debate with anybody. I just need to be prepared.

So I know what I'm walking into and maybe I don't want to go. Yeah, let me correct myself. I would never want to anybody to be in a situation where you're having to like swallow who you are. And like you said, if somebody makes a comment about homosexuals, I would never want to be in a situation where I had to like act like that wasn't horrifying.

I just mean smaller battles. You don't have to win them all. But like this is where I think your significant other needs to have the discussion with you. And like if you're not made aware of those things to begin with, like then I think there's a problem with your significant other that they didn't let you know this stuff. Yeah.

And I just think it, the number one thing here is communication and having a game plan. Like, if you were a person, let's just say you're super liberal, but you can be at a table with a bunch of people that are like, make America great again, and then just sit back. That's fine. I'm just not. So I need to know, I need to have a game plan.

I need to know what I'm walking into. Or is your whole family or is it just like your crazy racist uncle? You know what I mean? Like everybody's eye rolling him. That's fine. I can put up with that. But I want to know what I'm walking into explicitly. And I want to know my significant other has my back.

And I dated someone that this is prior to the election when everything kind of changed. so it was never really an issue with us, but I know that his family differed politically than me, but he was so staunchly, like, liberal and he shared my same views. So I just knew that he would handle whatever came up. You know, like I knew that he had my back. I know that if anything got said, he would stand up to whoever or whatever needed to happen. Like, you need to excuse yourself from the table or you need to shut everybody down. You need to be like, hey, let's not talk about this. This is offensive and whatever it is. So I felt comfortable that he would have my back in a

situation like that. Like, you don't want to be in a situation where you are at the Christmas dinner table, Thanksgiving dinner table, and like everybody's just going off about politics and you feel super uncomfortable and your partner sitting there like a fucking pussy. You know what I mean? Like, so if they are going to do that, I think you need to know in advance and like maybe you don't need to go. Yeah. I just, I don't know that I'd want to be put in that situation, but I think, you know, definitely have the talk with your significant other and make it clear. Like, I'm not somebody that's super comfortable sitting around and listening to hate talk and, you know, I can't, imagine dating somebody that hated Jews or hated gay people. But whatever. For some crazy

scenario I did, I would expect to have a conversation ahead of time where I said to them, like, I don't want to sit here quietly. So I expect you to speak up so that I don't have to embarrass both of us. Or, and again, like I said, if this is the case, I'm not saying that you can avoid somebody's family forever, but put yourself in a different scenario. You know, meet the family at a different time. Not when everybody's sitting around the table talking about this stuff at Thanksgiving. I mean, I know, I just think it's like, have the talk with your partner beforehand. you have all the details and have a game plan and have an exit plan too if you need to. You know, like that's a, that's a high pressure situation is like a holiday when all the uncles

and aunts come out and it's like all these different viewpoints. And like I think it can be like a recipe for disaster. And I think that probably would happen to something more in the middle where like for sure you go to somebody's house and maybe they're just not that warm to you. And it's like, okay, well, how do I deal with that? We're like everybody's so involved with each other. I'm just sort of being ignored and I don't know how to like be a part of the conversation and be accepted. That's sort of what happened to me, and it was so uncomfortable, and I spent, like, four days crying to my mom. Oh, my God.

It was just sort of in between, you know? I got on the flight. We went to Detroit with him. We had a fight as soon as we landed in Detroit. And that's really tough, too. Like, you should not fight in front of somebody's, you're significant other family. Yeah. But, like, if you're already having a fight, we drove to his parents' house.

The minute I walked in the door, I went to hug his mom, and she took a step back and put her hand out to shake my hand. Oh, my God. This is like a, it's like the family stone, but opposite. It was like a horror story. Yeah. I was like, it's so good to meet you. And I put my arms out to hug her and she like noticeably took a step back.

Yeah. And then his dad and his brother and sister were at the house. Nobody like got up to greet us and like was like super effervescent and excited. Yeah. I spent about an hour with them. Hang on. His mom finally says to me, we're so glad that you're here. And I'm like, oh, thank God.

Like this is going to be better. And she says, because we don't usually. people outside of our family who aren't really a part of this to take photos of us. So you can do that. Oh my God. It was so mean. You were like the higher photographer. I couldn't believe how nasty it was. They just were to, had he prepared you at all? I was a little bit younger. I don't know that I knew to ask the questions. And he was a little bit colder as well. He was like a little bit older than May. He wasn't a super like warm person either. Yeah. I mean, I liked him for a lot of reasons, but like his warmth was not one of them. So it didn't surprise me, I guess, that his family wasn't

super warm either, but like, I don't know, I just thought that they would go out of their way to make me feel more welcome. And I think from their end, what had happened, what I sort of figured out after a while was that I was like the fourth girl in four years, he'd brought home. And they were like, oh, I don't want to deal with this again. Not that I deserved that at all, but it was really uncomfortable and everybody was very cold to me. And I don't know, I called my mom and I was crying and I didn't know how to deal with it. And like, you're staying at somebody else's house. And so, like, all I wanted to do was, like, have sex and feel close to him. and like can't do that.

Yeah. Because like all these people are in the house. And I don't know. I mean, I just wish I would have been armed with different tools because it really was like that like nightmare worst case scenario where just like I'm stuck. Yeah. It's freezing cold. Of course I was sick.

I'm always sick. Yeah. So one thing that we did to like make it a little better was we went to a spa one day. And just to like get away from them, have a little bit of time, get a massage, chill out. I think it's important. Like if you're really feeling upset, I can't imagine why anybody else's family it would be terrible to you, but to maybe just go get lunch together alone, like, go get a massage, like something alone so you can sort of decompress. Yeah, absolutely. And I've been in those

situations, too, where it's like, okay, we're going to go to lunch. You know, and I'm like with my, my, like, partners family. It's just like, we're going to head out, you know, we're going to get a hotel in another state. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I mean, and that's, and that's, and how long are you dating, like six months? We're together for a year and a half, but at that point, six months. At six months, yeah. And I mean, it's kind of like, I don't know, like, maybe you shouldn't have gone, you know, and it's like, maybe he wasn't, you wasn't totally truthful. And I think there's a lot, like, if I, like, it feels weird to go and totally blind, you know, like, I feel like if I'm going to spend the holidays with,

with my significant other, I've gotten, like, a message from his mom, or there's something that I feel comfortable showing up and not getting the fucking handshake like you did. Yeah, this is also a lot of years ago. This is before Instagram existed. I mean, I guess Facebook existed, but, like, it wasn't like when parents were on Facebook. Like, I had a Blackberry. Like, just weren't all these like smartphones where everybody's super connected all the time. So I can't imagine this really even happening today. Like, of course I would have sent her a message. Of course I would have like asked could I bring something?

It just, I just didn't think of it. And honestly, when I got back, I had to really reevaluate the relationship. And like, do I want to be with somebody who didn't pry me for these kind of things? Because it's uncomfortable. But anyways, if I can survive that, you can survive anything. I mean, here's the deal. I think there's like a spectrum of families. And I think that there is amazing families that.

like mine, I'm just going to say it, that like, you mean my family, you like like me even more. Like, I feel like I've wondered if guys have just dated me to get close to my family. My exes are listening. They're like, yes, exactly. And they're amazing. People want to spend time with them. And there's families that are terrible and crazy. And then there's families that are in the middle.

I mean, I think there's a whole spectrum. And I think that if you know that there's a lot of quirks and things that aren't super positive about your family, I think you really need to be in a committed relationship with somebody. Like if I was on the fence with somebody and I met their family and they were just horrible, like it might change the way I thought about their relationship. And on the flip side, if I was with somebody that I super loved and really saw a future with and their family was terrible, it would take a lot to deter me if I was already at that point. So I think you need to figure out where your relationship is before you bring someone

into like the lines den. Yeah. So we're all agreed. Be on the same page before you do it. And if you're not ready, just don't go. Right. Totally go. Like, what's the rush?

Who cares? Yeah. Be like, I'm going to spend this with my family and we'll do our own little Christmas together. I'll see you in four days. We want to talk about gifts because this is, you think it's the number one thing we got asked about holidays. Yeah, it's like people hear holiday, then they hear gifts. They want to know about it. Oh, it's so stressful.

What do I get my significant others family and what do I get my significant other? Yeah. It's stressful, right? Yes. I feel stressed out about it. even though I don't have a significant other. So I think just like a way to definitely make the family stuff more comfortable is like always show up with flowers or candy. It can't hurt to like at the airport get a box and good to have of chocolates.

My sister-in-law still brings my mom flowers every time she sees her. Just trying to show you up. Trying to show me up that bitch. I show up with like laundry. I'm like, can you do that? My sister-in-law is like baked a cake. but I think that it can't ever hurt to at least do that or ask your synonym and other like what is your family into do they have any like quirky hobbies maybe I love clocks it's your family

into what kind of freaky shit is your family into I said clocks what other creepy shit is there clocks yeah what a sudden you show up with like a giant grawk clock hobbyist what the fuck Raina you got your family like clocks I had a friend growing up and her family had a lot of clocks. What kind of stuff does your family collect? My mom collects elephants. She does?

You bitch? I think that's cute. I have a lot of owls in this apartment. Teacups, I dated somebody. Okay, this is funny. I dated somebody whose dad came out of the closet, like immediately right as we started dating. His dad collected antique teacup sets.

And I was like, nobody guessed. Nobody knew that he was gay. He had like a hundred antique tea cups. Next to his porcelain doll collection. And his dildo collection. I mean, antique cock rings. You guys, a lot of people who DM me about cockering recommendations.

Like, what is my life? I think I said it like one time that I'm into them. And everybody's like, so Ashley, what do you recommend? Right. To design our own branded. I want to do all kinds of stuff. I want to design condoms and vibrators. Just wait until we design our own line of sex toys

before you start bringing them to your boyfriend's family. That's really good advice. Don't buy anything until we roll out a line of that thing. Okay, so one thing, and you were talking about clocks and what people are into, but one thing that I did is a couple years ago for my significant other family was this Harry and David, like, do you know Harry and David? I don't.

Harry and David's like gourmet foods. They're known for their pears. People love the pears. They're so good. And they do the best chocolates. And our family, a family tradition that we have is that we eat this stuff called moose munch. And it's this like chocolate covered caramel popcorn. And you can get like huge tins of it or little bags or whatever.

It's always a stocking stuffer. And people always bring it to our family. By the end of Christmas morning, we're opening the gifts. We have like 10 things of moose munch. But Harry and David, they're a good go-to for food-based gifts. I just one-in-doubt food. Yeah. But like not just your standard box of chocolates, like beautifully wrapped,

a gifty food shit, you know. So I... Gifty food shit. Clearly not a sponsor. Get your gifty food shit. And like if, I mean, obviously do not bring wine to like a sober family, but wine is always good to go. Any kind of, or bring wine for yourself. Of course.

You know what? You know what? Bring pills and everything else for yourself. Bring a weed pen. Bring Xanax. You're going to need all that for yourself. But if the family, if they drink, like, you cannot go wrong with a nice bottle of wine, And especially I think a lot of people, my family drinks a lot.

So around the holidays, the wine is not the most expensive because we're going through so much of it. So if you show up with a little bit nicer bottle, I think that's the way to go. I think bubbles are like a great way to see. Oh, yeah. I always just like stop and get like one of the ones that comes in a box because you know, they're fancier. Yeah. Like the bottle comes in its own box. Yeah, like Voov's a nice price point too.

I think it's like $80 a bottle. So not for everybody. I just started buying Voove for people. Not for everybody. Well, I don't know. I think that you can't ever go wrong with food. There's a million different food options. Omaha Steaks does like those big boxes for people. Obviously, good to Iva and all kinds of things.

So anyways, food's great. And I think that like if you want to really score some bonus points with the family, just ask your significant other what they're into. Right. And somebody has like a weird quirk by that thing. And clocks. If you're super. Calks.

Cockrings. If you're super Pinteresty and crafty, they make like a gift basket of shit. You know what I mean? That's so cute. Go through your apartment, take all the shit you don't want, putting the gift box. How much stuff do you have in your apartment do you? We get so much free shit.

No one really understands, like, just how many gifts they're getting that came from a fat, fit, fun box. You know what I mean? Mountains of stuff. I have a friend who's, like, an influencer, and he has, like, a mountain of stuff right by his friend door. It's like, he's, like, four phones.

He's a curing. And I always, like, imagine the girls asleep with him, like, take a gift on your way out. Totally. But, yeah, I think, you know, always bring a gift. it'll soften the blow. What do you think about? And again, I think so much of the things we're saying

is communication is key. I think some people get worried about showing up to a Christmas and the family bought them like a bunch of gifts. Like one person asked, do I have to buy gifts for everybody in the family? Definitely not in the first Christmas. You don't bring the one food and wine-based gift. I don't think you need to go all out and buy gifts for everybody. It makes people uncomfortable because if they didn't buy you anything,

I think that's like weird. Or maybe you buy them all. all the same gift or just something that everybody can use. I don't know. A framed photo of them together. And ask your partner. Like, again, if you don't feel comfortable asking these things, you shouldn't be going with them.

So if you can't ask your boyfriend, hey, is your mom going to buy me something? Like, what should I be prepared for? You're not at the place you should be to be going. Yeah. No, totally. And I think I've definitely been in situations where somebody's significant other, my significant other parents have bought me a bunch of stuff. It made me a little uncomfortable.

I didn't really know what to do because I had bought them a bunch of stuff. And I thought it was like too soon in the relationship. But like, I mean, that is what it is. Do you want to do something good that I recommend that I did? No. Well, you're going to hear it anyway. So I had a boyfriend of mine, I mean, ex-boyfriend out, come with me for Christmas. And he was somebody that was close to this family.

So it was like he was sacrificing his family time to come spend time with me. And I sent them a gift as in like, thank you for letting me have your son at my family. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. So I sent the big Harry and David, Gifty Food Shit box to his mom as like a thank you for letting him spend the holidays with us. I think that's true. She, like, called me in the phone.

It was very nice. The points you could score for something like that. Yeah. Because, like, I realize that you would, you want him there, but we stole him away. Here's a gift. You know?

Anyway, just so sweet. I recommend. Oh, okay. Are we going to get into, like, what do you buy somebody? I think this is, like, so scary. Like, what do I buy somebody? Do I buy somebody something?

What if my gift says something different than what I think it's going to say, okay, so, like, I put a lot of thought into this. Okay. I'm so excited. Raina's gift guy, 2018. Okay. I broke it down by number of months you've been with somebody.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Less than a month, one to three months, and three to six months. What? Those are my buckets. Okay. I mean, less than a month. Less than a month, just do less.

Do not get somebody a gift. Or maybe butt sex? Right. No. Less than a month to give them anal. That's the three-month gift. All right. All right.

You're right. I mean, less than a month feels like obsolete. Just don't get it. You can't get a gift. And don't expect a gift. It's aggressive. It's creepy. If somebody got me a gift, I would find it very uncomfortable.

Less than a month. Sorry, bye. You're not in a relationship. Next year, please. Okay. Next tier. One to three months. This is where I think it gets a little hazy in the like two and a half month category.

Because you're just like, I don't know, I think that like realistically, two and a half months, you could be spending every single day together. You could be fully, like, you should feel like you're falling in love with somebody. Absolutely. But it is like really soon. Okay. Here's where we start getting to go to gray area. So think about like, are you like somebody who,

he's committed to or are you like just a girl that he's saying? Right. Because it could definitely be both at two and a half months, three months. Yeah. So if you're exclusive, get a present. Not exclusive. Don't worry about it. Maybe what's stuff?

Oh my God. I can't believe. The look that she's giving me, because she like knows that like I don't endorse the like anal at two months in. But what is your anal threshold? I don't. What? $800.

did we talk about this? Episode one. $800. That we're just babies. I think that, okay, I think three months you're exclusive. I think $40 to $50. Okay, you know what I really like that you're saying and I really want to hammer at home is if you do not know where you stand, no gift. No gift. You don't have to buy somebody something. Don't make the relationship something that it isn't. Yeah. Gifts are for committed relationships. I like this. Yeah. I just don't think that you owe anybody anything.

Absolutely. I would find it weird if somebody was like gifting me a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Please buy out means. If you guys can gift me anything you want, go on Venmo. Send me $5. Join our Patreon. That's our gift. And I think, you know, it gets a little all so hazy if you met their parents or siblings, but, like, I would think you're in a committed relationship if that happens. So I think also people are just like, okay, so what do I buy? And I think that, like, maybe a $40 to $50 mark is pretty good at three months.

Like, and maybe either something you guys can do together. Right. Like, cooking class. Yeah. Sports tickets. Like, basketball game is great. It gets a little tricky if you break up. I've seen that happen.

Well, you don't give them the tickets. You just tell them you have the tickets. You hold on to the tickets up. Yeah. Until the day. They'll break up and be like, yo, can I get those Eagles tickets? Yeah, for sure. Like, no, no, no.

You can have one. No, you can't have either of them. I'm holding a ticket to Intel. Do you think 40 to 50 is like a good spot? I mean, here's a deal. I think it's also how much you make, how old you are. You know what I mean? We're in our 20s, 40 to 50.

To me, I'm trying to think I dated a guy and his birthday came up and we were fairly new, but we were pretty serious. and I bought him like a nice pair of sunglasses for like 100 bucks. Oh, that's a cool idea. So, yeah, like I just noticed he needed like nice sunglasses. But I was making money. You know, so I think you got to, I think if you're at a point where you're exchanging gifts with somebody, you kind of have an idea of what each do you make.

But I don't think put yourself out ever. You know what I mean? When I was 24, even 25, 26, like 100 bucks is too much. I can't. That's not something that I don't have just 100 bucks laying around. And so I like what you like this 40 to 50 range. But I also like sunglasses because to me that's not a meaningful gift. And like I'm so in love with you.

This is so deep. It's just it's something cool. I thought you might like. I spent a little extra more than I would have. But I like that it's not like a really deeply meaningful gift. Because also that sort of blurs the lines. Right. Like how meaningful is the gift.

And I think just obviously girls are better at this, I think, than guys but picking up on cues. Like if he's really into bourbon and he doesn't have like a good set of the tumblers or whatever. or like those cool ice cube trays that make like the big fat ice cubes. Like I think those are an ice gift with a bottle of bourbon. You know, like something like that is a good gift. I bought somebody for like Waterford Crystal bourbon glasses.

Yes. I love that. Because they were really into, maybe like a cocktail book. Yeah. About like recipes. Cocktail stuff is always such a good idea. Yeah.

Because it's not like super meaningful, but it's like a fun hobby. If they're into it. Like I would want that. Well, you're a girl. So, yeah.

Why would you want crystal bourbon glasses? I think like, If you're more serious and you're spending more watches, if they're in sneakers, if they're into sports gear, like a lot of guys like love to wear like dushy shit when they're watching their sports teams play. And like there's some websites that's like expensive stuff they'd probably never buy. Materialistic stuff. Yeah. Okay.

Shit like that. I don't know. Also, here's an idea. If you're in a weird place, you don't know if you're doing gifts, buy a gift that you can return and have a backup gift and have it ready to go if they present you with something. and if they don't send it back. I just think if you're like, I don't know if we're doing gifts

and I don't want to broach the topic and it's super weird, but what if he presents me with something, then you just have it locked and loaded. Yeah. But as we talk about this more, I think like one to three months, materialistic stuff.

T-shirts, bourbon, stuff like that. Now I'm going to rethink what I was thinking. I think three to six months is the experiential stuff. I think maybe three to six months classes. Yeah, I'm going to rewind what I said. Three to six months,

I'm thinking experiential stuff because the implication when you buy an experiential thing, that you're going to be together. Yes. Yeah. I'm going to rescind what I said before now that I've thought about it. But I think three to six months, you're probably committed. I would always, I mean, everybody's different,

but I prefer experiential gifts over anything anyways personally. Yeah. Like I'll take like a pasta making class over like a piece of jewelry anytime. Yeah. I mean, obviously you know what your significant other likes, but yeah, I think experiential stuff is great. I mean, if you don't know where you stand after three to six months, then I don't know.

And I mean, just like anything else, if guys are listening to this and they want to know what to get for girls, I mean, just listen, pay attention, see what they're into, hack their Instagram, see what kind of ads they're being served. I don't know. Like, my Instagram is full of things that I want because I've looked for them. So get on his Instagram and see what kind of ads he's being served. What kind of porn stars he's following? What kind of targeted ads is he getting? What kind of porn is he looking at? Do that. Oh, yeah. Budstaff. All roads lead back to Budstaff. We had someone at the Chicago. show yell out, I loved your anal episode. And we were like, what episode? We have not done an anal episode. And then we never, we're not doing a whole episode about anal. Maybe we have like a doctor on the show or something. But like, no. One time ever I said I did anal and I'll be the anal girl forever. I feel like I've gotten some good gifts for for dudes in the past. I remember one time I bought a guy like

a like a jersey. It was like an old like an eBay or something like that. You know guys love weird shit like that. Like get on eBay and look at what they're into. I'll take like a vintage Steelers sweatshirt. Right. I would love that. You know what I mean? Like, you know what's like a good, like an old starter jacket? Like if you can find them like an old starter jacket with their like football NFL team, I would love that. I would love that. I would love that. Just something like creative. Yeah. Just be creative. Okay. Do you discuss what to spend what you're spending? I don't know. That's a tough question because I feel like it's really hard to be like, what are you spending on me? I honestly, sometimes I think that's stuff that couples do when they're more serious.

Like I'm thinking of my married friends that they're like, you know, we just bought a house. We're spending this this year. That's a max. You know, I don't think if you exchange gifts with somebody, if you don't talk about it and then you exchange gifts to somebody and they're super unbalanced, like, that's not your fault. You didn't know. Yeah, I agree with you. And then maybe you're also on the same page. I mean, I don't know.

What if you buy a guy a pair of sunglasses and he hits you with like a diamond tennis. brazil. You're like, what the fuck? I'm going to keep it and probably break up with them because that was weird to do that, but I'm going to keep the bracelet. But I also, I like what you said about married couples. Like I, I don't know that I'm just out here discussing finances with somebody that I'm not as serious relationship with. It's not my business what you spend. Right. Like, buy a nice, thoughtful gift that's not a ton of money. And I think you're a golden. Yeah. I think that, yeah, like keep it a little less sentimental and don't spend a fortune. And I don't know, it would make me really uncomfortable if somebody spent like a huge fortune on me. I'll take it. Yeah.

And I mean, I think, like I said, like have a backup gift, have an insurance policy. If that makes you feel better, if you're like, I'm worried he's going to spend a shit ton of me and I, we haven't had this talk yet. Like, have something that you can return. Yeah. And tied under the bed. Put yourself in the poor house for somebody or not in like a serious relationship with. Yeah. And at the end of the day, like, all you have to do is like write down little sexual favors on a piece of paper and hand him to him.

And like, that's going to make him happy. Ain't. Buy him. A girl's got to eat beanie. That is so smart. You guys. And the sweatshirt. and a mug. Beanie's are available. Everything is available. Do we announce that?

We forgot. Oh, yeah. Holiday merch, guys. 20 minutes of the gifts. Guys, our holiday merchandise is live. Go get it. Yes, any guy that's listening to this, you probably got hooked on it from the girl you're dating anyway, so buy her our merch. Duh. Oh, I totally forgot about this. Guys, super affordable. Grab all the other stuff we said. Only girls got to eat sweatshirts, mugs, beanies, tote bags. This is the perfect gift for any of anybody you've been dating for one to six months or any amount of months. 35 months.

Just go on our website, get the merch. The guy you just went on a date with yesterday. Buy him a hat. Buy him a girl's got to eat. Love. He'll love it. We swear. Okay.

We got a couple little miscellaneous topics. Oh, hit me with them. Okay. Sleeping in the same bedroom. I think you defer to what mom wants. I think that your significance. other needs to just have that conversation. I was the only time I've ever taken somebody

home with me, realized I was living with them already. And so it was no big deal. I mean, obviously, but my parents aren't super religious or uptight. For some people, some females' parents, I think would really not like it. You just defer to what mom wants, I think. What do you think?

Yeah, absolutely. I defer to what your partner says. Like, he or she knows their parents by now. You know what I mean? I think I was dating a guy and he's like, I don't feel comfortable sleeping in the same bedroom with you. I'm like, you know what? If my dad's okay with this,

like you need to be okay with it. You know what I mean? You just kind of respect somebody else's family. And my mom and my stepdad, they're actually not. They got married last year, but they've been together for like 25 years. And his family is really Catholic. They're very religious. So one Christmas, like four years ago, my mom's almost 70.

Like four years ago, my mom and my stepdad went to stay with his family, his sister, her husband and their kids. And they made my mom and my stepdad sleep in separate rooms. No, you're lying. Yes. You're a 70-year-old mother. Because they didn't want to show to their, kids that it is okay to sleep together.

I don't like that. I feel like it's a bad message. It's not sex positive. Yeah, but I mean, some people have religious beliefs that are so deeply held. And like, that's not one I would fight back against. If somebody's just, my mom's like, what am I? I can live without him. Right.

For a few hours. Yeah. Oh, for sure. I mean, well, yeah, and that's the thing. I think it's just whatever the family wants. What was it? It's a, you know, my favorite Hollywood movies is the family stone. Just the awkwardness of Sarah Jessica Parker.

And she's, remember, she's the one that feels uncomfortable sleep in the same. It's one of my most favorite. His whole family's like, yeah, you can sleep, go up there and fuck. Diane Keaton's like, do whatever you want. She's like, I don't feel comfortable. She puts, like, Rachel McAdams out on the couch. The worst. The whole movie is so uncomfortable.

It's amazing. I love it. It's one of my favorites. Me too. I just love when she, like, breaks that fourth wall and has the meltdown on the end. And you're like, you're waiting for it. Yeah. Would you have sex?

I don't know. When I've gone home with a significant, I always have, just too quietly. Well, that's the thing. I'm not trying to take any huge risks. You know, I'm not really turned on by like your parents could hear a spot. But like if you're in an area where you can have sex and no one's going to hear you or walk in, have sex. Why not? Yeah.

And I think it's like a, look, you want to feel close to your partner, especially at this time of the year. I think it's just like a nice thing. Take a shower together. Like whatever. I don't need to be having like. You're right. What? Your dad's knocking.

Can I get in there? Uncle Frank. In the middle of a blow job, Uncle Frank. I don't know. Take a shirt. And Brenda's like, I need to get in there to wash my hands. I love that scene and how to lose a guy in 10 days. And they take the shower together.

I love that scene. I get on, I cry. It's such a good scene. And like, whatever. I feel like most people are pretty modern today. They know it's up. But like, yeah, I'm not out here trying to have like some like very vocal sex, but like, I'm still a person. I need to get laid. Yeah. Okay. Cool. So if you, it's kind of just like feel it out, see what their family's okay with. Yeah. For sure. Always just defer to the family. What other random questions did we get? Well, holiday parties. We haven't even talked about work stuff. Okay. I think that we can cover this quickly, but I really did want to address this because I think that like some people like their work colleagues are their family. Like for me, I don't know any family lives in New York. So like my friends are my family in New York and I'm a single family member here.

Right. And I know that like you can't relate because you've never had a job. I literally never had like a work party. But most companies have work parties. So that's how they work. Most companies like rent out of space and they invite significant others. Tell me more. Usually it's like at a restaurant, there's like an open bar and people are drinking. Anyways, you know what a party is. I feel like I'm constantly trying to explain something to Ashley and halfway through. I'm like, you know how the world, you know what the internet is. Anyways, I think that it's like nerve-wracking to introduce somebody to your coworkers.

You're with those people five days a week all day every day. So like same thing with the family. If you're just not ready, just don't do it. And I would just maybe tell your statement other that like significant others were not allowed to be included. Well, the problem, I would assume that most people just don't, especially follow their co-workers are bringing their boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives. Like, you don't want to be the only single one. Bring a friend.

Yeah. Bring a girlfriend. Have a great time. I think, I mean, you and I have definitely been to events, like, where everybody's coupled up or one of my really good friends, Shoshi and I were at a wedding a couple weeks to go together. We were the only people that were not a couple out of this massive wedding. I'm like, we had a blast.

Yeah. You know, we had a really good time. She was my date. It was fun. And I don't think that you have to feel like you can't bring a girlfriend. Okay. Yeah. Someone asked, what if I'm, they want to bring him, they're at that place, but they're embarrassed

of their appearance, weird mustache. They don't have a nice suit. Do you want to know what I'm going to reference? Sex in the City. And Miranda, Steve bought that suit. And then he took it back because he couldn't afford it. And then he went over and, like, basically broke up with her because he realized they were like on two different levels.

And then she went to the party. alone and she was, remember, she was like, and then I thought to myself, what's so wrong with corduroy? Because he had like a corduroy suit. I remember. And that's a thing. I think you're, I think you need to tell your partner what they're in force, they're not embarrassed. Like, if you want to bring your boyfriend, let's say, to your any party that's people are going to be in suits, you need to tell them. So he doesn't feel silly. And if he doesn't have one, I don't really know where to take it from there. I don't know. I mean, we've talked about this in the money episode. We've talked about careers and being mismatched in your lifestyles. And I don't know, I think

that that happens and, like, you just have to be confident in yourself. Like, I worked at a tech startup for a long time and everybody I worked with was so brilliant. And had gone to Harvard and Yale and all these great schools. And my boyfriend was a bartender. And I knew that, like, he didn't have a lot of things in common with these people that were like programming websites. But I loved him and I was happy and I was happy with him. And that was my partner and who I chose. Right. And so I think, get over it. You have to own it. as long as they're confident with who they are and how they look, then you have to be or you need to consider that this isn't person for you.

People can pick up on you feeling uncomfortable. You know what I mean? As long as you're owning it and you feel fine and you want to be with this person or you love this person, then that's like really all that matters. That's a good point. If you don't care, nobody else well. It's like being embarrassed about anything. Right, exactly.

Someone asked, how do you keep up momentum if you just started dating in November? So I think that you had a really good take on this. I think people are worried. Like people are in and out of town all the time. And, you know, like, can I keep up the momentum? But, like, you said something to me and you had a really good example that, like, there's so much to talk about. Right.

There is. Like, I met a guy last December and we were long-distance situation. But I definitely was like, we're going to go home for the holidays. We're going to lose touch. And we didn't because we just had so much stuff to talk about. Like, we both had gotten that game. What do you mean? for our families. So we were talking about our experiences, playing with our families. Like,

you're kind of home and you're bored a lot of the time. Like, you are just texting with people or you are just doing this and that. So I think as far as like, there's plenty of stuff to talk about. There's plenty of stuff to text about. You want to call somebody in the phone and laugh and joke about weird stuff happening with your family. I think that's fine. I think it, just because people are going home for the holidays and they're not in the city or wherever to be going on dates, you don't need to lose touch. Yeah. And I think that, like, talking about your family and what you're going through, it humanizes you. It kind of brings you close together. Yeah, for sure. like in this together, but you're not together.

I love it. You know, and you're not, it's not like you're away for huge periods of time. What are you going to be away for a week? Like Christmas, to New Year's, like you're not gone. This person isn't like in Uganda. Maybe there,

I don't know. But like, you're not, how long are you gone for, seven days? Yeah. And so I just think to anyone that's like, should I not worry about it?

No, fuck it. Who cares? I think it's great. You've lost to complain about it and joke about. I think we're almost done here. I just thought this was very funny. Someone asked if your spouse or significant other

has a weird holiday tradition, is it okay to not participate? And I'm dying to know what the fuck that means. Wait, what would? Like, they make out with their cousin. Like, I don't understand, like, what it would be? Like, they play like, oh, what is that? Suck and Blow. You know that game?

With their family? With their family. But you guys, it's a card game that you play with your mouth. Well, let me tell you about my tradition, my family's tradition. You guys do weird stuff. We do suck and blow. We do anal. That's a family.

So we do... Well, now I'm not coming back for Christmas. Christmas Eve, we do a bake-off essentially with appetizers. So everybody makes an appetizer. And there's a winner. There's a best hot dish and a best cold dish. And there's little prizes my mom puts together. And everybody judges and votes.

My brother won last year. I rigged it a little. What was the winning dish? In the spirit of the elections, I rigged it. How Trumpian of you. Make America great again. Make Matt Hustleton great again. What was the winning dish?

His crab balls. That sounds-all-killer-no-filla. What do you call it? I'll kill her no-filling. Yeah. We get pissed. I'll tell you what's really fucked up. You should see her face.

I'll call my cousin Lindsay out right now. She's pointing at me. Lindsay and her fiancee tried to double up on theirs. We were pissed. It is not a joint effort. Everybody has to make their own fucking dish. Oh, two of them made two dishes. but they both made one together. Oh, like, who's out here not being able to make one dish by themselves?

You can't cheat. We almost eliminated them. A family divided. So if you are involved to my family, you know, if one of these listeners happens to come over for Christmas. I'll tell you what I make. World famous Rotel cheese dip. Like, it's not hard. You just heat it up in the fridge.

No, you don't. You really, you phone it in that hard? I help. I usually make guac. and I helped my mom last year with some guac. But the Rotel, it's so delicious. You love that cheese dip. Yeah, I love it, but I'm not out here trying to like win competitions with a.

I'm not trying to win, but we have some kids come over, my mom's best friend's kids. They devote for it every year. Because you're impressing the palate of a three-year-old. Every year. Every year, the microwave cheese hits it out of the park. Because it's very easy to participate. And if I was dating somebody that was like, I'm not going to do the appetizer.

I'd be like, you can fucking see your way out. For that reason, I'd be out. Don't let the door hit you. I just can't imagine. and what kind of like adorable family tradition. Somebody would be like, you know what? I just, um, hey, whoever wrote that, please email us. We got to know.

Yeah. Normally I'm like out here being like, don't email us ever. But what is this weird tradition you do not want to participate? I'm trying to hypothesize like what this could be. I can't believe you suck and blow. Oh my gosh. We've been talking for a long time. Watching Fox News.

I'm not going to participate. Listen, a lot of you. Weird family traditions are all listening to Tucker Carlson. Saying the N-word, talking about the migrant caravan, blaming the Jews for getting murdered in their synagogue. Not going to participate. They chant and build the wall in a circle. He puts their hand in.

And they dance in a circle while they chant it. I can't make it. It's Carol. Like to the tune of jingle bells. Build the wall. Build the wall. Build the wall today. So participate.

That's it. That's the family tradition. I won't participate in. All right. On that note. Anyways, we don't want all you single gals and guys for the six men that listen to this podcast to feel left out. So surprise. You want to give the surprise?

Yes. We know if you're single, you've been sitting through this. Like, what the fuck? Bonus episode singles edition. Woo! Okay. So we are coming out with a second episode this week about being single over the holidays. Might be tomorrow.

Might be later day. Who knows? Who knows what's going to happen? Yes. Full-blown, holiday episode singles edition. You guys didn't think we would just leave you out here. Number one scariest question over the holidays.

Yes. Why aren't you married yet? So get ready for that. And we will probably do a little, Is This Weird on that episode, but since this was an extra long episode, we're going to do a quick game of Fuck Mary Kill holiday edition.

I hope you think mine are funny. Okay. I don't know that there is funny. I mean, who cares? Okay. Also, guys, we are still looking for Is This Weird Holiday Edition stuff? So please keep emailing us at hello at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.

Dot com and send us to your is this weird holiday stuff. Okay. But to kick it off, I have a fuck, merry kill for you. Fictional characters. Okay. Edition. Oh, geez. Movies.

Okay. The Grinch, played by Jim Carrey. Okay. Elf. Buddy the elf. Played by Will Ferrell. Yes. Jack Skellington, King of Halloween Town.

Nightmare before Christmas? Yes. Okay. Oh my gosh. Well, I was going to do that same one. Only I was going to sub out Cousinetti for the skeleton. Okay. I feel like I want to marry the Grinch.

Okay. Why? Like, he just, buddy, the elf would be too annoying. That skeleton's a little scary. I feel like the Grinch really gets my vibe. He's like, hates everybody, but he also, like, has a dog. You know, like, that's pretty much me. Yeah.

So I feel like we'd get along. We'd have a dog, a couple dogs, just talk shit on everybody forever. Very into that. I'm going to definitely fuck Buddy the Elf. I just, I want to see what that's about. I feel like some freaky shit could happen. I feel like he'd be a super freak. He'd, like, jersele you with syrup.

And then I'll kill that nightmare guy. I can't really even picture him. Jack Skellington. He's already dead. Yeah, he's already dead. This is easy. So you can re-kill him. I don't know.

I feel like he could be like fun. But I feel like I'm on the... I'm on the... He's too skinny. I don't want to fuck a guy that skinny. Yeah, I can't fuck people that are skinny right than May. Right. All right.

This is a no-brainer. Okay. Okay. Fuck Mary Kill. Home Alone Edition. Okay. The Wet Bandits, tag team.

Three-some with Harry and Marv. Uncle Frank. Okay. And Buzz. Woof. Okay. I feel like I'm going to kill Uncle Frank. You have to.

Oh my God. If you didn't say that, I'd make you leave. Really? He's the worst. Haven't you ever read any conspiracy theory without Uncle Frank was behind the whole thing? No, I haven't read conspiracy theories about Home Alone. What you did? Home Alone.

This is what you do at, like, 11 o'clock night when I go to bed? Is this what you do until four? Home Alone articles, conspiracy theories. I think there's one on. it's like Slate or Medium or something like that about how Uncle Frank was behind the whole thing. And he like hired the robbers. No, I haven't

gone that deep into the internet, but I will now. Huge Home Alone fan. Okay, I am going to marry Buzz because... Ew. Just hear me out. I'm going to marry Buzz because... If you ever seen those memes that are like, the adult me just wants to know

what the parents in Home Alone did for a living to own a house that big? Yeah. Like, he's going to get the... money from his family. You think? Okay. So I think he's going to be rich and like I can live in a house like that. Okay, right. And I just feel like he won't be around that much. Like, Buzz is definitely like at the bar a lot. You don't have to be bothered with him. Yeah, okay. I see that. And then I feel like the robbers also like could tag team my body in a really sexy way. For sure. I'm going to fuck them.

Right. Because I feel like they would just do crazy things to me. They're literally called the wet bandits. Yeah, they can make me wet. I just feel like they would just do crazy. And I've never had a three, some of two guys. Two criminals. I've never been Eiffel Towered Harry and Marv Okay Perfect answers Thank you

Okay last one Fuck Mary Kill Love Actually Edition I have never seen that movie I'm sorry What I just I've never told anybody that

It's like the Ravioli thing I just I have I might have seen it 20 years ago I've never seen it I know Okay Are you okay I don't know how to end this now.

I don't know how to wrap it up. Who's in the movie? I'm just so upset. The disappointment on your face is so deep. Do you imagine how I feel, though? You don't watch anything that I watch. Everybody watches Love Actually. Okay, listeners.

You don't watch The Sopranos or Mad Men. Do you know what that feels like for me? That's a show. It takes commitment. Love actually is the movie. I'm so upset to all of our listeners. Please DM me. You're a fuck Mary Kill.

So I can feel like I wrote this one for. a reason. Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Andrew Lincoln, three hot Brits, tell me who you want to fuck Mary and kill. Who's Andrew Lincoln? He, well, he was like, ended up on The Walking Dead. He was, like, the main guy in the Walking Dead, but that was his, uh, that was, so he was, like, in that movie. All right. Now that's how he's most well known. Do you want to answer it for yourself? Okay. Since we're all here. I'll watch the movie. Mary Colin Firth. This is easy. Mary Colin Firth. Fuck Hugh Grant and kill Andrew Lincoln. I think that that's how you got to go with those people anyways.

Yeah. And Hugh Grant is the prime minister in the movie. It's like he's sexy. You definitely want to fuck him. Colin Firth. I love him. What an angel. I would marry Colin Firth.

I am very attracted to him. Same girl. Just his personality. Do you like Bridget Jones and everything? Do you like a British accent? Yes. I do too. This is the longest episode.

Oh my God. I cannot even. All right, guys. So we will do a bonus episode this week. Singles Edition. How to deal with the nightmare. it shouldn't be a nightmare at all, but it's a lot of people's nightmare. Right.

I'm single and I love the holidays. Well, except the time I got dumped right before the holidays. We'll get to that on. We'll get to that on the bonus episode as well. And I just cancel the next episode. And I held myself crying in a Home Depot. All right, guys. So look out for the bonus episode.

Monday, Cyber Monday. Look out for the tickets that we are dropping for all of our cities. Merch is live. You can get that for your family, your friends family, your significant others, just buy it for everybody you know. Secret Santa gifts.

Your boyfriend's like little niece. Your landlordie. She's out here where a girl's got to eat shirt. People are like, what's that mean? It's about sex. She's wearing a ho-ho-ho sweatshirt. What's that mean? I don't know.

Is there anything else we talk about? Oh, keep rating us. Yeah, definitely buy your boyfriend's three-year-old niece, the sweatshirt that says leave his jingle bells on blue. She can wear his dress. She'll belt it. We're to church. Now you have a church outfit.

Little Cardi B. All right. All right, guys. Subscribe, great review. Do we already say that? All of our stuff's on our website. Whatever. You guys know the drill.

But for newer listeners, leave us a rating and put us in your Instagram story. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com for everything else. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you not next week. Sooner than next week. Have a good couple days. Bye. Bye.