Girls Gotta Eat - How to Lose a Girl in One Date

Episode Date: March 5, 2018

Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast. For more information on this episode's sponsor, visit ShakerAndSpoon.com/GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a guy does on date one that you're like, oh, fuck, no, never again. I had a date where he checked every box, all the bad boxes. Okay. I'm like rubbing my hands together. Like, do tell. Welcome back to episode three of Girls Gotta Eat podcast. As promised, this is the last time I'm going to announce the number of the episode until our 69 party. You know, we just want to give you guys that stuff. We want to do a 69 party. Just called 69 party. No explanation is like what's happening. Can it be a live stream? Yes.

Oh, I'm so excited about today's episode. And also, we have our first sponsor. Yay. Raina's like, wait, we do. I'm not going to lie, I don't know that much about this. So when Ashley tells you about it, it'll be a genuine reaction for me. Let's talk about your week. Ashley has a story that she's been dying to tell me all day, and I wouldn't let her tell me.

It's just a small thing, but I just... Well, now you've hyped it so hard. Right. It's just something that I would have texted you. And then I was like, you know what? Wait, we'll do it live. Fuck it, I'll do it live. I was coming back from my workout.

I went to Barry's boot camp. It's really nice out today in my workout clothes. And I'm walking through Union Square. And I hear a homeless man go, whoa, camel toe. What? Like somebody that doesn't even have a house was making fun of how you were dressed. You live on the street. And you just roasted my vagina.

That, like, it took me a minute. I swear to God, Raina. Whoa. He lives under a bench, and he was like, the way this girl is dressed has to be called out. Also, yeah, I was wearing bright blue pants because I can pull them off, whatever. You know, like, they show everything. I guess they were maybe especially wedged in there. I don't know.

I was shocked, embarrassed, and then that's, and I fucking laugh my ass off. Did you say thank you for your fashion advice, sir? I shook me up. I was like, did he just, did I hear what I just thought I heard? Like, loud and clear. He called you out. And I just loved the woe. Like, he was like, holy shit.

Like, that guy's seen so much shit on the street. And he had a woe reaction to my vagina. Like, Union Square Park, I have to tell you, the amount of things that go on in that tiny little strip of land that your cameltoe stuck out as, like, the craziest one. How big was your camel toe? Honestly, I have a question.

For me or the homeless guy? For everybody. For everybody. Yeah. In this room. Do you, what do you guys think of camel toe? Like, I don't think they're turned off by it. I don't think guys care about anything.

Because, like, if I see a guy's dick outline and a tight pair of pants, I'm like, that's fine. You really are into like a flaccid dick. No, but like, you would see. Asch's like, that's against me going. This is when you're like a little mushy worm inside. him here by. No, like all those pictures of like John Ham and Idris Elbow when it's like you can see their dick.

Yeah, John Hamm, it was like a 30 inch cock. Like, yeah. All right. Never mind. But I just, I'm curious. I actually love to know, you know some people will give us feedback on this. If a guy sees a girl with a camel toe, is he like, ooh, vagina? Or is he like, oh, my God, that girl needs to change her pants.

I don't think guys care about anything. You're right. I think you have to do something really egregious for them to be like, like, like, refuse to cook them dinner. Right. Before they, like, call their friends and you're like, you're never going to believe what happened. I bet guys do like camel dows.

Like, I think they like everything. Anything vaginal. Right. All right. So, speaking of showing body parts, we were just in Miami. Ashley and I were in Miami. I followed right into Miami. But it was, it was a blast.

So I want to hear, I want you to talk a little bit about it. about Miami. Yeah. Can I, I first want to tell you what I did as soon as I got back from Miami, which was I slept the whole day.

And right before I went to sleep at night, you know what I listened to serenade myself to sleep was our podcast. Your own voice. It's my favorite song. I actually really like your voice. I don't even listen to Spotify anymore. I just put on our podcast.

Like I used to masturbate before I went to sleep, but now I just listen to your voice and like that's the warm glass of milk. You masturbate to your own voice. I know you too bitch. I use, you know you like fast forward the 15 seconds. Every time you talk, I fast forward. I stop masturbating for a second.

I'm like, when you say something really funny, you just come. Like the big moment. I'm like, fingers deep. Like, oh, yes, child that joke again, me. I don't think this is as funny as I know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God.

Shit. So anyway, Miami. Miami was great. We went to a lot of parties. Yeah. On yachts, no big deal. So I met a guy and he bought me a yacht for the day. No, but really.

It's not entirely untrue, actually. That's actually a fun of it. He was a friend of a friend. We had a couple sleepovers, sort of. It was the most interesting sleepover that I've had with somebody. Why was that? So I met him on Thursday night at a party at a hotel. and we met for like 30 seconds.

He is good friends with one of my best friends. And we like say hello and we part ways. And then hours later, I'm pretty drunk. It's like 1.30 in the morning. And I leave a party at another hotel and I'm walking home and to my hotel. And I run into him on the street, which is so crazy. And weird to like I'm in South Beach at 1.30 in the morning. I run into this person I've met for four minutes.

And he's like, oh, hey, it's you. Like I'm going back to my hotel. Do you want to come get a drink? So we get a drink. which turns into three hours of, like, talking to each other. And it's like the kind of conversation that you can only have under, like, very specific conditions. Like, you don't really know the person. There's no real romantic connection initially.

And you're drunk and it's the middle of it. Right. You just, you talk about, like, religion and life and, like, your family. And, like, I remember telling you about my dad getting cancer, like, all kinds of, like, really. Honestly, for people that, have you seen crazy stupid love? No. Like, I picture that exact first night that Ryan Gosling and. at Emma Stone, like, he's this guy that just, like, has this reputation for fucking everything, and she's, like, wants to get to know him.

And they stay up, like, till the sun comes up, like, talking about their family and all this stuff. I'm literally picturing that. So that, all that's super romantic, like, beautiful stuff happens. Right? And everyone's like, did you fuck? Well, I'll tell you. Around 2.30, the hotel stopped serving us.

And we were both, like, awake. And he's like, well, you know, I'm not trying to, like, come on to you. But if you want to come up to my room, like, we can. can drink out of the many bar so I'm like sure let's go do that so we're sitting on two beds I'm sitting on one he's sitting on the other and we talk for like two and a half more hours and it's like five in the morning and like the sun's coming up so I have to go to sleep so I can like live my life and he like I don't know what to do at this point because I'm in a hotel room with a man who like I'm attracted to and I'm drunk and it's five in the morning so you're

tired so I don't know what to do really so he gets up you've never been there before Not while you're on two separate beds. You might as well be in another room. Like, how do you get there? I know you're like a foot away from me, but I don't know how you get there. I get it. Now you guys are like in this deep best friendship apparently. Right.

So you're like, what do I? It's like, what am I going to say to him? So he gets up to start getting ready for bed and like he's going to like brush his teeth in the bathroom or something. And he looks to me and he goes, so, do you want me to fuck you? I was like, I don't know. He's like, I will. Like, I'm attracted. I'm attracted to you.

And I'm like, what? I'm saying, no. You're like, first of all, thanks for asking. I'm just saying not right now. Like, tomorrow, maybe. I'm good. It was the most grown-up discussion. Like, it was like a real, it was like, you know,

do you want to go get Chinese food? I'm not sure. Well, I could use some dumplings. Yeah, but I'm not hungry right now. But tomorrow I might want to put your dumplings in my mouth. Right. Also, just like, this thing takes consent to a new level. It's just like.

the straight up ass. So he goes, he shuts off the lights and he like comes back and gets in bed. And then he says to me, I don't, should I cuddle you? Like I don't know what to do you want, do you want me to like cuddle you? And I was like, I don't know. You know, whatever feels right. Oh my God. Yeah.

Well, I just started thinking to myself like it's not that I didn't want to have sex. Like I was attracted to him, super smart guy, funny. fun, but like, I'm not going to just have sex because I happen to run into you on the street. And you've, like, tolerated me talking about myself for three hours and it's five in the morning. We're in a hotel room. Like, I know all those things work to your favor, but I'm not just going to like, fuck you because you did that. I find it so refreshing. It's like, I love that you get to customize your night. Like, you were like, no, actually, I don't want to fuck, but I would like you to cuddle me for the next 30 minutes and then roll away from each other and sleep. Like,

I just love it. I want arm tickles. Can I pick? This is like, choose. Is your own adventure? We did the same thing the next night, actually. Yeah. So we watched Family Guy until 5.30 in the morning the next night. He gave me like little arm and leg tickles. I mean. And we snuggled for the rest of the night.

This is the best sexless relationship I've ever heard about. Again, like we ended up the second night in his hotel room. It's just like I was just really tired. Okay. I was really drunk. It's not, again, I'm not attracted to him. I don't know. I just didn't feel like it.

I was wearing a jumper, so I didn't want to take the whole thing off. I got to, you guys, I'll tell you that I met this guy and I adore him. He's great, right? He's so great, but he definitely, he's just kind of blunt and honest, which I can appreciate as well. And he's definitely not this guy that's like, I want to be your boyfriend. He's like, the opposite. He's like, I don't want to be your boyfriend.

I don't want to date you, but fuck you. And you're like, well, you know what? Not offended at all. And I appreciate the forwardness. We talked about honesty last week, honestly. I would rather somebody tell me on the first date. I'm really, really not looking for a relationship. And then I can make an educated decision whether or not I want to have something to do with

the person. And I think what a lot of times happens is that, like, guys tell girls that. And then, like, a month then, girls, like, want you to be in a relationship. And guys are like, but I told you. Yeah, I told you. I know. I want to do a whole episode on this. Like, listen to people when they tell you who they are.

Like, it's for real. When, yeah, my mom always says that. I feel like, my mom going to come up in every podcast. My mom says when people show you who they are, you should believe them. Well, we'll get him on the podcast. I know. He's going to be a good get. I really want to have him on.

I was sort of jealous about how much you two were like getting along. And like, Ashley and him are both very funny. They're both funnier than me. He's hysterical. It's like a funny tornado. And I couldn't even like get in there. I know. At one point, but then I was like, maybe if he and I are kind of flirty, then Raino will be like, oh.

It's made more attractive. You got a little jealous. Did you? He did make my panties fall off. My plan worked when he's flirting with me. No, he like jokingly said, like, oh, I'll marry you this year. And you were like, what? I, like, literally, like, mentally was getting the knives and guns out to murder you.

Did you hear me when I was... And then I was like, you know, my only dream in life is to, like, give blow jobs and cook breakfast for somebody. Pulled out the big guns. I really didn't pull out the big guns. Like, Raina Greenberg, everybody. We need to address something else that happened in Miami. And that is, I got to see Raina's shameless. Instagramming in action.

And if you listen to episode one, which we highly suggested. You're talking up if you didn't. Was Raina met a guy in Tel Aviv that she Instagramed him. We're not going to get a whole story. But bottom line, her Instagraming a stranger resulted in an amazing date and sex, all the whole, all the things. So like, of course you keep doing it. If it was a certificate I'm broke. I told you every person I put on my Instagram story in New York DMs me, all of them.

And so we're at the pool, these smoking hot. I mean, they're bros, but they were hot. They walked by and she zooms into the guy. I don't even know what you said. Like, there's my lunch or something. And then he, I swear to God, someone sent it to him. Yeah. We're watching him.

His face is like someone texted him something. He's laughing and looking at us. So Raina whips out our phone again and turns it on the two of us. And she's like, can you believe this? This guy, like, saw this whole thing. I'm like, you're talking so loud. This is insane. And then we go over.

They were sitting. We had to take a photo over by where they were. And they were super cool. they actually let us use a cigar for a prop. Like we were doing this whole photo shoot situation. And I made a comment like, don't worry, she's legit. She's like Instagram famous. We're not just out here, you know.

And then Raina plugs her Instagram. And I was like, you plugged. You just doubled down on the fact that you really want these guys to know that you were like creepy. It was like the, it was so bold. I like, I loved it so much. That's why I'm the marketing director of this podcast. I told Ashley I never get off of plane without the entire row following me. Every person I talk to, I'm like, I do this podcast.

It's called Girls. Gotta eat. If you want to hear about my sex life, you've got to listen to this podcast. I always be advertising. I tell everybody. Okay. Advertising is just that we're talking about. Okay.

So I want to get into what our actual topic that we wanted to talk about today was, which is good and bad. Drum roll, please. Oh, I missed it. Say the title. Oh, God. Am I a resident sound of Facebook? No, not with that.

What was that? That was not a drum roll. Okay. All right. Like, well, guys, Raina doesn't know what a drum roll is. I'll say the title. How to lose a girl in one date. I feel like most people I go out with are like this.

But, okay, so you had a date last week. I did. We talked about it a little bit. Fill us in on what's been happening. Yes, I had a date with a 24-year-old. If you need more details, you haven't listened to episode two, so go back and do that. And it was really great. We have another date tonight.

Your eyebrows look phenomenal. Thank you. Thank you. I am ready for the date as we are recording. So, yeah, we have another date tonight. Again, 24, significantly younger than me. And for one, he asked me to a place where you play games and there's live music and stuff. The first day.

The first day last week. And he was great. You know, he confirmed. Like, we talked about before he picked the place, told me where to be. I was like, I'll be there. Showed up. He just, like, he, like, had a plan. Can I interrupt you for a second?

Yeah. What amazes me is how, like, a whole time I'm thinking like, oh, my God, he's such a prince driving a dream. Why do we give people credit for just doing like the baseline of human behavior? I'm like, oh my God, did you guys get married? He just acted like a fucking human being. I think a lot of it too is like I'm just impressed with his age because dating guys in their 30s aren't sometimes don't do this. So that's like the interesting like dichotomy to me.

So we showed up and he just had a total plan together. Like got in there. He's like, what do you want to drink? He was like, all right, let's think about what game we're going to play. We ended up playing shuffleboard. I had some really sick beginner's luck. And then I, whatever, fucking shit the bed. But, like, had a really great time.

Guys that have a plan and they're in control of a situation, it's like, it's a turn on for a female. Like, when you feel like a guy is taking control of the night, I don't want someone to boss me around forever. But, like, that night was a really, it was a perfect day. We played these games. Then he, I had mentioned earlier that I loved to dance to hip hop. And so he was like, where do you do that? And I'm like, these three bars. And so we went to them.

We, like, dance the rest of the, I. I love a guy that can dance. Ended up with late night tacos and, you know. This is awesome. Yeah, it was great. So I, but that's the thing I really want to, you know, he paid. We went to a second place. I picked up the tab for the cocktails.

I like to do that. I don't think someone he's just sponsor the whole night, you know, so. But he was definitely, like, wanted to pay for sure. And we have another date. And, like, he followed up the next day with, like, a cute anecdote about the date. He's like, he's a pro. Wow. Now I'm like, I'm actually want to, like, ask him where he's, like, where does this come from?

And like, you know, whatever. He could be doing this literally every night of the week. I don't know him like that. See what happens after you sleep together. Yeah. Like, this is super casual at this point. But I'm just, I'm impressed and I'm excited to see him again. Okay, so what's happening tonight?

Where are you going? You're laughing, so I'm scared. I'm like, you know, the first date we went to like the game place. Right. And so do you want me to guess? When he asked me out for this second date, he said, Dave and Busters Which for one, I thought

that was only a place people went to in the suburbs after they ate at Joe's Crab Shack. Is there a Dave and Busters in the city? Raina, I thought he was joking. I grew up in Pittsburgh, I had birthday parties of David Busters. Of course he did. Like the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia, people went to Dave and Busters.

Was he kidding? I thought he was kidding. 100%. So I say, I'm only going to Dave and Busters if we go to TGI Fridays first. Okay, because I'm joking. I'm a comedian. jokes. I thought David Busters was a joke. No offense

to anyone that loves to go there. Or anybody lives in Pittsburgh because this is where you're going on days. Right. And he, now we're supposed to go to Fridays. He just texted me, so we're meeting at the Union Square Fridays, right? Are you guys doing like a, what do they, like a special? It's like $36 for like two

apps, two entrees and like one dessert. And then you're going to David. If the third date is a barcade, I'll fucking die. Like he has like a serious fetish for like, like only places that have ski ball can he come. Like only if he's played pool all night long and like got a teddy bear at the end of the night.

You like getting bed, he drops the tickets on you like all over your body. The young kid with a game fetish. Like this is a fucking Sex and City episode. I mean, I guess it's better than other fetishes. You're all like proud of him for like being a fucking human being and he's like, I'm just trying to get that big teddy bear. He's like, I can't wait to the summer when we go to Cody Island. I'm like, this is out of control.

All he was to do is like he was. So, Raina, I like literally have to, I think I have to meet him at Fridays in an hour. Like, what? I need to tell him that. I was, I'm like, I thought he was joking that I made a joke. And now we're like, who's joking? I'm like, I'm joking.

You're playing chicken? Is there a Dave & Busters in New York City? Yes, there's definitely what I don't know where it is. In fucking Times Square. I mean, okay, while we're talking, I'm going to look it up. See, I would like opt for like barcade. Yeah. Like, barcades like dirty.

And it's in our neighborhood. And you can drink 40s there. I wanted a really fun date there. I might just move it to Barcade. I love Bar. I mean, he'll still get his rocks off because he's playing pole. I'm going to need to tone that laugh down. Oh, my God.

We've been shooting this shit for a long time. We'll let you guys know next week how the date goes. But we are here to talk about how to lose a girl in one day. Bad dates. Bad dates. Honestly, like what a guy does, a totally normal looking guy, like whatever it is, what a guy does on date one that you're like, Oh, fuck, no, never again.

I had a date where he checked every box, all the bad box. Okay. I'm like rubbing my hands together. Like, do you tell. Like, this story is like, this happened a few weeks ago. My family is still talking about it. Like, my dad's like, great a story of all time. I can't believe it.

Okay, so I meet this guy at a bar, which is like, I'm not a big online dating person, so most of the people I meet are either friends of friends or out at a bar. So I meet this guy at a bar. He's pretty cute, and we have, like, a good time. I was, like, five hours deep into drinking at this point, so, like, maybe he wasn't that cool or cute. I don't know. Right.

But we're at this really fun bar. It's a Friday night. It was some girlfriends. He's there with a friend. We hang out. He seems great. He sends me... We tried to go to this place.

It's called Corner Bistro. Do you know that place? Yeah. God, he's going to listen to this. I'm going to feel so bad. No, I'm not. No. We were talking about...

Corner Bistro and it's like a famous burger in New York City. He said he never had it. And so I said, oh, we should like go there. So when he like texted me the next day, he said like, let's go like on a date to Corner Bistro. And I thought like, oh cute. Like he picked me anything from yesterday, whatever. So he hadn't like picked a day or whatever. So Wednesday, Wednesday, he says to me, do you want to go to, let's go to Corner Bistro tomorrow at seven. I'm like, great. So I go out Wednesday night with my parents who drink me under the table. And I'm very hung over and I wake up on Thursday and I do not want to go on this date anyways. But I'm like going to be a good sport and I'm going to go. So I don't hear from him the whole day. No text messages at all. And so I just assume

he's bailing on me, right? Like if you don't confirm with me and we don't have plans. And like I would do that with my parents or my best friend and certainly with a stranger. Well, it's easy just to be like, see you tonight. Right. I mean, if I have plans on you at seven, I just would assume that at five, you'd be like, hey, looking forward to see you later, like, see you tonight, whatever. So I don't hear from him, and I'm hung over, so I don't confirm, and I'm just like, whatever. So I assume I'm not going to see him.

At 7 o'clock, he texts me, hey, I'm running a little late. And I'm like, oh. I mean, I felt kind of bad, but I was like, hey, I didn't hear from you. Like, I don't know you really. So, like, why would I have gotten dressed and, like, gone to the West Village to meet somebody who, who, like, never confirmed with me. So I said, I'm really sorry.

I just didn't think that we had plans. And he was like, no, I'm sorry, it's my bad. I should have confirmed. Let's reschedule for tomorrow night, same time, same place. Okay. So I'm like, great. Totally fine. Next day runs around, comes around.

I don't hear from him again. And I'm like, I'm pretty sensitive when I, like, tell somebody about a behavior that I don't like and they refuse to adapt to it. Like, a very small thing. Like, I'm not saying, change your whole personality. But if I say to you, like, I just want you to confirm with me sometimes. Like, then just confirm. Because it takes two seconds.

Right. Yeah. So I don't hear from him, but I'm like, okay, he's not a confirmer. So I just, like, decide to get ready and go. He's, don't confirm guy. I made backup plans with a girlfriend in the West Village just in case he didn't show up. So I get there at seven, same thing. I'm running five minutes late.

I'm like, fine. Okay, he showed up. Great. So I get to the bar, and he goes up to the bar and buys himself a drink and does not buy me a drink and pays for his drink. What? He was like, I'll have this for me. I'm like, I don't know about her. I'm speechless at this point.

Right. I go up to the bar, and there's. like we only take cash, so I have to go to an ATM. Cool. I would like to also preface this by saying, we're at corner bistro. If you don't know what that is, it's a dive bar. The drinks are $8. Right.

I'm not at like a four-star restaurant where the drinks are $25 per cocktail. We're not like at a hotel in South Beach. Like vodka on the rocks is $8. Right. So I go to this ATM. I'm like getting cash out to pay for my own drinks, which, you know, I say to myself internally, don't be a bitch. He doesn't owe you anything for walking in the door.

He doesn't owe you alcohol. Like, you can pay for your own drinks. Okay. I know. It's very weird. So I go to the ATM. I'm like waiting for this person. This girl takes seven minutes to finish up the ATM.

And I know this because he is standing like two feet behind me but not talking to me. It's so uncomfortable. So I keep like checking my phone or like seven minutes. It might as love in two hours. Yeah. So as I wait, then he comes up to me and drops the greatest line of all the time I've ever heard on a date. Oh my God. If you can't get money out, I'll just pay.

for your drink and you can settle up with me later. What? My vagina has closed up and detached itself from my body and has left the building. Not even like a... My vagina has left the building. I have, that's next level cheap and weird. It's so rude. I wouldn't say that to anybody.

You can settle up with you later. First of all, like, what do you mean settle? Like, you're going to make me Venmo to you if you buy me one drink? Oh, one $8 drink. What are you? Like, I would never. say that to anybody. And also just like, fuck you that you had cash on you and you're watching me at this ATM. Right. If a total stranger was standing next to me and couldn't pay for their

$8 drink, I'd be like, I can cover this for you. Yeah. Like, we're at a dive bar. You can't like cover one drink. It was crazy. It was the root of shit in the entire world. And then he made me go like one for one with him for the rest of the night. I don't know why I even stayed because it was, okay, so here's how I feel about paying. If you invite anybody on a, on a date or a business meet or anything, I assume that the person who does the inviting pay. right but I don't expect anybody nobody owes you anything for walking through the door and I think that it's important to offer as a female

I think that like there's this nice little like ballet between the two of you where like he tries to pay and you're like no let me pay and then he's like no and then you offer to split it and then he supersedes you and says no I'm gonna take care of this I like this whole little thing that goes on is dance because it's like you have expressed to the person that you are grateful and not an asshole and there

trying to be chivalrous and polite and, you know, let you know, like, they've invited you on this date. And that doesn't mean forever I expect somebody to pay for May. But, like, I expect you to at least offer. I just think, guys should pay for that. First, date, first place. Whatever, if you ask someone out, my thing is, if we go somewhere else, then I like to pick up the tab. I really do. I mean, I've definitely gone, had dates. We went to four places and it probably just equaled out. But, like, come on, man. Don't be out here, not being able to afford $16. dollars and a pair of drinks. You know, like a couple, some of my girlfriends

and I, again, we want to get to this in depth at a later time, are just like, I'm done doing that fucking reach for the wallet bullshit. After a few, you're, come on, it's 20 bucks. I don't mind. Again, I said to myself internally, he doesn't owe me anything, but it was so rude how he just like let me stand there at the ATM.

So I should have walked out. Like, and so internally I'm like, you know, when... It can't go up from there. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that's it. You're just rude. You're terrible. So, you know, I internally struggle with like when is it okay to leave and just say like, hey, I'm just not feeling it. And I really probably should have just been like, you know what? Like, you don't seem to want me to be here anyways.

You didn't confirm with me. And you're making me stand by myself at this ATM for 10 minutes, whatever. So then we sit down. We like have our drinks that I've paid for. Because you're going one for one. God, my pain. And then he does the other thing that I don't, God, I feel so bad if he's listening. Oh, no.

Fuck this guy. So I think it's really important to have like a good give and take on a date, right? Like you ask questions about the other person and they're engaged. I, look, I know everything about me, so I don't need to talk about me. But it's nice if the other person wants to know about like what you do and like where you're from or like anything you can connect over a mutual bond. Right. He asked me no questions about myself. He let me get through whole stories before I realized that he like had no idea what I was talking about at the beginning of the story.

What's your name again? Exactly. I'm surprised he even bothered to remember that. So I will say, like, how to lose a girl in a first date? Like, why don't you not confirm with me, make me pay for myself, and then only talk about you. Let me just, I'll cap the store. Yeah, those are three great things. Yeah.

Just ask me about me, and I'll ask you about you. I'm a good conversation. I worked in sales. I know how to talk to you about you. I will cap this off by explaining to you just how little he cared about talking about me. It's like he was personally. purpose read on. He was like, the worst I can make this girl feel like

I don't want her to be here. Maybe he was playing a game called How to Lose a Girl in one day. Yes. It's like the movie that he was on a dare. Oh my God. He had headphones in and his friends were all laughing in a dance. He's like, gotcha. Right? He's like, I can't believe she's stayed this long. All his friends are in a van outside.

They're just like doubled over laughing in their white van. He's like wearing a lapel mic, like recording the whole thing. And they're like, she's so stupid. Oh fuck. Let me cap this off and let me just explain to you how little he cared about talking about me. I'm sitting with him at the bar and these two guys walk up to us and this guy really nicely and casually says, hey, I follow you on Instagram, I'm really big fan.

And I was like, oh my God, thank you so much. It's really nice. The guy kept his like a respectful distance. He wasn't like coming on to me. And he was like, sorry, I don't want to bother you guys. Just like follow you. Think you're awesome. Like super cool what you do.

And I was like, oh, thank you. And he was like, have a good night, guys. This guy doesn't even skip a beat from what he is talking about. Wild. You just got recognized. Recognized in a bar in New York City. And he's like, anyway, back to me. Right.

What? He, it wasn't like, that was so nice or that was, or does this ever happen? Like, doesn't skip a beat, like, back to me. I mean, and that, you know, covered a lot of ground on these deal breakers. For me, I will say, again, here I am somebody that, like, is, happy to pay, like when we, you know, I hate any weirdness about money. Like, I just think, like, just don't make it weird. Like, just give them your credit card. You know, I never expect a guy to spend a bunch of money on my first date. I just, I don't. I don't. I think that that's like,

I don't know if I'm ever going to go out with you again. I don't expect you to be 100, 200, 200 bucks in the hole. I don't. And so that's why, especially if I know I'm not going to want to go out with a guy again and we go to another place, I'm like, I'm getting these. I don't, I just don't think that's right. Like, I don't want to run around town all night and go to different places and you just spent hundreds of dollars and I never want to see you again. But like just fucking handle it, man. Like any weirdness, any like, if you get a tab that's $50 and there's weirdness about should we split this?

No, no. Again, your vagina detaches itself from your body and walks out the door. So I'll share one story. I feel like we've covered a lot of the things. He did all the things. The money thing is just, don't be weird. And then going back to a great, honestly, a great date I had. I went out with this guy.

We met on a dating app. We met on the league and walk in at this cool bar. And he looks like his pictures. He's tall. He's cute. You know, he's successful. And we really are hitting it off and laughing and all these things. I'm not super like panties dropping.

You know, we just had a really, like, sweet vibe. and we wrap up there and go to this other really cool restaurant. It's I think it's called Peasant and like downstairs. Yeah, it's like very, it feels very European. It's dark. It's candlelit. And you're kind of sitting across from each other in like a very narrow table.

We got like two glasses of wine. And we're sitting there talking and he leans across the table and kisses me. The whole table? Like the table's thin. It's smaller than this or bigger? Yeah, it's like this. Narrow. I'm like, it's 9 p.m.

Like, what are you doing? Like, this is not what, like, I was so caught up guard. We had just had, like, our first blind date with drinks, and he is kissing me across the table in a restaurant. Like, we're on our fucking anniversary and can't keep our hands on each other. I was shocked. I was like, this is, oh, my God. And I was kind of like, oh, God, you know, just, I'm not, I can't remember what I said. I was really, I wasn't rude, but I was like, that was a lot.

No, it would catch me up guard for you to put your face on my face a couple hours after meeting you. Right. And listen, this is not to say, I've been, I've made out with guys within 20 minutes of meeting them. You know, we've all been on spring break, like when you're drunk, when you're out, whatever. Ashley's the pillar of class. But like, not enough. It was so crazy. And then we left there and he's one to hold hands. And I'm like, to me, that's weird. Why are we running around the Lower East Side hand in hand? That's really weird.

It's how drunk for you. We were not, there's no drunkenness at this point. We met it, I don't know, for drinks at seven. He tried to plant one on me at nine. Now it's 10. And what are we doing? This is not 2 a.m. in the morning. I was, and honestly, this guy was, it was, it felt desperate.

Like, it felt like desperate, clingy puppy dog. Like, and that's honestly why we had a great day. We ended up going to like a fun place to dance, got late night pizza. Because then I started to drink and I was having fun. Like, he's a good conversationalist, but I just couldn't get past it. It was like, why? I don't even know what's the name for that. I mean, definitely like just total.

desperado. But like when you're just acting like we're boyfriend, girlfriend within an hour of meeting. So the handholding is weird to me than the kissing. Yeah. Do you think that's weirder? The kissing was so weird though. To be like in a fucking restaurant on a first day and you lean across the table, the hand holding was also crazy. But two hours after I meet somebody, it's crazy that your face is touching my face. Right. And like, and now you're holding my hand. That's even while. And I'm telling you, like, that's like, but like that's another thing. Like just, just be fucking cool. Like, just don't be We're with, don't be weird. Don't be desperate.

We've definitely, we've covered a lot of ground. I think we should probably play a game. We're going to mix it up. We're going to try. We're going to try to mix it up and see if people on Instagram are picking up what we're putting down. We're going to do red light green light with our, we're going to live on Instagram. And basically we want people to say things that I guess guys would do on a date.

And if that's red light, like fucking full stop, get out of there. or green light, not a big deal. Right. Okay, so we want to mix it up and try a new game, a drinking game, with these shaker and spoon cocktails. You explained it better than I do. Red light green light. So red flag, get out of the relationship or green light, not so bad. You can deal with it.

So things that have happened in a relationship, are they a deal breaker or are you going to forge ahead? We're going to drink on green light, right? Right? Yeah. Okay. We're drinking on green light. Oh, this is a good. Still lives with an ex. Because Breaking Elise is too expensive. Goodnight Bergey. Still lives with her ex. I don't know. Fredlight! Don't date somebody that's still... I could not do that. No, no. You cannot still live with your ex. I don't even want you to like... I don't even want you to still have your ex's phone number. Girl roommates. Jackie Bringman. Girl roommates. Yellow light. Yellow light.

I'm with you. I'll drink for a yellow light though. because I'll never get drunk on this podcast otherwise. P. Banjellas, I need to. They get on Grindr to Make Friends. Is there something worse than a red light? Is there like another color that I could pick that's like a, not a hell no, but a fuck, no. Oh, these are great. You guys are great.

Model underscore Dad, they live separately, but they're still married for insurance reasons. First of all, can I get on the insurance plan? Right. Like, yeah, if they put me on the insurance plan, green light. Do it. Okay. Dirty bathroom. Laura Balcarza, I can't remember.

Dirty bathroom. You know, I went to a guy's bathroom the other day, and he had thrown up from drinking the night before and not cleaned it up? Oh. I'm not going to lie. I stayed. These are so good. Hold on. Remember that one.

Are we drink? No, what is red light green light for dirty bathroom? I'm going to go yellow. I'm going to go yellow. Yellow. Oh. Has a small dick. I have a small vagina, so it's hard.

You know, mine is so small and tight that it's hard for me to measure. All right, small dick guys. Get it out of rain. Small dick guys. Ashley has an enormous vagina. What if they don't like pizza? Red Light. Forget it.

A guy that doesn't like pizza, most relationships are based on pizza. Like all these other people talk to shit. No, Mexican, someone that doesn't drink. I've been there. Because he, like, we actually met at DUI school. So it was like, he. Base tattoo. I just can't imagine.

Like tear drops, like people he's killed. I can't imagine getting in the. the car to begin with. I don't think I'm, I think I'm going red light on face tat. Oh, yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah. It depends what the tat is, if it's like a little teardrop. A tear drop means you killed sight.

Raina, God damn it. Guy not wanting to go on holiday with you, so on vacation with you. Ever? You heard laughing at my DUI school story. A guy that never wants to go on vacation with you, red. Pump the brakes. They probably have a wife. I can't imagine a reason why somebody wouldn't go on vacation.

Or they hate traveling, then no, not either way. No, who doesn't like vacation sex? Vacation sex is the best. We should do a whole podcast. You know why? Because you can like disrespect the room. So much. You can just like come on the drapes and nobody cares. What are they going to do about it? All right, guys, we got to shut down episode three because Ashley has a date. I have pushed this date back a full hour. Like I was hoping you would just say, how about we reschedule? But no, I guess I got to go to Fridays. So sorry, guys.

Don't plug Fridays unless they're paying us. That's the last time you plug a national brand. Let's plug us. Go, go. Anyways, thank you for tuning in for episode three. Please subscribe, rate, review in the iTunes store. Follow us at Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and Facebook. And thanks for tuning in, guys. And please, the reviews have been amazing. We cannot stress this enough.

We read them every day. They make our day. So review, review, review. We love you guys so much. Thank you. Cheers, guys. Have a good week.