Girls Gotta Eat - How to Survive a Breakup (Like, Right Now)

Episode Date: April 30, 2018

Most of us have been through a heart-wrenching breakup and know how much that shit hurts. In this raw episode, we share our own stories of love lost, and how we coped in the moment when we thought we were dying and eventually got to where we are now: LIVING that #BestLife. And just when it starts to get too deep, we lighten it up with a brand new game -- we won't give it away, but just know it involves Tristan Thompson and Colonel Sanders (among others). Follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I just, I sent him a text and I said, I know that you wanted some time, but I'm not going to give it to you. And you don't live here anymore. You're not on the lease. You don't live here anymore, bitch. Raina has said you don't live here anymore a couple times this podcast. Have I? About the cheater guy where you were like, you don't live here anymore. Different guy. I guess every time I break up with somebody, I'm like, you don't live here anymore.

You don't live here anymore. Motherfucker. Hi guys. Welcome back to Girls Got to Eat podcast. Yes. We are back and we are in a studio. Yes. I'm so excited.

I'm like, am I too loud? I'm all in this mic. I feel like I started saying like moving on up, moving on all the way up. Guys, we are recording from Mouth Media Network powered by Senheiser. We are so excited. We are super legit. We have these comfy seats and these real microphones. We're not in my apartment in the East Village.

It's very exciting. So definitely check out Mouth Media. They have some really cool podcasts and really cool guests. We are two of the. the people that are going to be here regularly recording, and we are feeling ourselves. I am feeling myself. I had this whole bit I was going to do today about how, like, I thought other people were going to be in the room with us.

So I had this whole bit about how I was, like, really nervous to talk about, like, doing anal in front of, like, a room full of sound guys. But just us. But we talk about anal for thousands of listeners. Millions. I'm sorry, millions, millions, millions. Can I talk you last night? I was on the phone with my sister-in-law.

Shout out to my beautiful. Italian princess sister-in-law. She was like, you know, you're very PC on this podcast. You like, you know. I was like, all I could think was like, in real life is my mouth that trashy? Because like I literally don't, every 20 minutes I make a disgusting joke. Yeah, wow. Geez, I don't even know, want to know the side of you, she knows.

Anyways, what's up with you this week? Oh my gosh. Okay. So last week we talked about drinking. And we were all about me being a responsible drinker. At one point, you told me I'm not a sloppy drunk. And I was like, I know, girl. Like, I was on that high horse.

And then Saturday night, I went out with the 24-year-old and got so blackout, sloppy drunk, like, couldn't even dance, like bumping into people. Like, I just didn't eat enough all day. It was like one of those scenarios. That's really what does it for me if I just don't eat enough. I was like one of those, I day drank, friends' birthday. bottle, like bottle service, table at this club. Bad, real bad.

Did you light the relationship on fire? I burned it to the ground is what I did. And like I... You're going to burn it, burn it big. Like the irony is not lost on me that we had this whole 45-minute conversation about how responsible I was and I go out and I'm like fall down, blackout drunk. Like for someone that's significantly younger than me, like he had to babysit me. I mean, I had to wake up and do the apologies.

Oh no. Like text apologies. And then I went and drank again. And he's like, Ashley, when you're as grown up as I am. this just doesn't happen. You'll learn, Ashley. Like, what are the chances? He's, like, 24.

And he's like, it happens to all of us. I'm like, I can't. I can't do this anymore. He's having to, like, console me because I'm a drunk asshole or whatever. Right. That was my weekend. It's actually funny. You had, like, something in conjunction with last week's episode because I did also.

Okay, what? Speaking of, like, if your party styles are super different. We didn't talk about this last week, but I had this, like, all night long date on Friday that I was like, oh, This is so relevant. We went out to like six bars. I got home to four o'clock in the morning. We went on like...

I'm so proud of you? Thank you so much. You know, I'm usually in bed by 10. I know. I love it. But, you know, when I like a guy, my tolerance goes through the roof and I'll stay out all night long. Totally.

Like when you and I are out, like I know that you're in the bag. Like you like me, it's done and deal already. Oh, yeah. That's like exhilaration of a new crush. It's like a superpower. So he paraded me around New York City to just one horrific place after the next. We went to Rockwood Music Hall for, first we went to a horrible Midtown Bar, then Rockwood Music Hall, then Libation.

Do you know what libation is? No. Don't ever know. It's disgusting. It's already bridge and tunnel, but Friday night it is like bridges and tunnels. And then we left and we ended up at the D.L, which is a three story high club. And it is disgusting. But anyways, I liked him.

So I like let him do this with me. But I don't know. Like our party styles are very different. So like if on a normal night, he's like going to all these places, like, I don't know that we vibe. That is so funny. When I was dating that guy in Miami, he brought me to this place and we walked and I said, I hate it. I hate it here. We can't go here.

And he was like, okay, okay. Like he got a little. I was like, nope, not going here. It was just this like terrible, like sport. I mean, it was like an Applebee's basically. I was like, is this you like this? Is this what we're doing? Yeah, but that's something you could change about somebody.

Hopefully. And the night ended with like this crazy makeout session. outside. I haven't had like a good makeout session. On the street? No. And like, I love a street makeout. We were like those people making out like on the patio of this club. I love a public makeout. Public makeout and public

breakups. I will literally like follow somebody for like a mile just to watch their breakup as they're on the street. Also surprise. It's a breakup episode. Oh yeah. Transitions on transitions. Um, yeah. Enough talking. I just want to wrap this up by saying we love your emails, guys. We really appreciate the feedback, the story. One of the things you guys keep asking is what are other podcasts can I listen to?

Normally I just respond with. Raina's like none, just ours. Yeah. I'm not going to like use this platform to plug somebody else. Anyways, I wanted to turn you guys on to another podcast in case you're like looking for other things to listen to. So I stumbled upon one that is called the V-Life. It's an interesting podcast. We basically talk about female health issues.

It's hosted by an OBGYN. Yes. So if there are questions that you guys might be sort of uncomfortable asking other people, they cover a lot of stuff. Wait, your V-Life. Your V-Live. Yeah. I am a big fan too.

I'm all about keeping that vagina right. So they're funny. I listen to an episode. They were talking about Dixir's, which is my favorite word for Dick Pick. So I was, I'm a fan. I think you guys should listen to it and educational as well. So let's get into today. we are going to talk about something that a lot of you have messaged us about, which is how do I get over her breakup?

Oh my gosh. I just got like a nervous feeling on my stomach. Like, I am so passionate about this topic. I feel like this is like the first time you meet Beyonce. You're just like, oh my gosh, I've been waiting my whole life for this. Like you don't want to fuck it up. Like I love talking about breakups so much. I don't know what kind of shitty person that makes me.

I'm just obsessed with breakups. You're like really excited to talk. So Ashley and I are going to tell you these stories about. the worst breakups we've ever had. They're really horrible stories. And Ashley's like, sight. Well, listen, I went through a bad breakup and it made me want to talk to other people about breakups.

You know what I mean? Like something you're going through. And that's why I'm so excited to do this topic today because it's something that I think people really need to hear other people's stories. That helped me get through my breakup where I'm like, am I the only one that feels like I'm going to die? Right. And like, oh my God, there's no sentence I hate more than people being like, time heels.

everything and all these other anecdotes people tell you. You know, when you go through a breakup, you feel like you're going to die. And nothing anybody says, like, really makes it better. I just want to communicate today. You aren't going to die, I promise. And I want to maybe just give some advice on, like, the day that a breakup happens, what can I do tomorrow to feel better? Yes.

And this is, exactly. We will probably have future episodes on this topic. There's so much. There's stuff we've discussed how to deal with friends and family and all these kind of things. But today is pretty much just like you're in. that deep dark death hole and like what can you do in the next, you know, day, but like over the next few months, time does heal everything, whatever.

They say that because it's fucking for real. But this is more like, you don't want to hear that bullshit. You want to know, like, what can I fucking do to stop feeling like this? All right. Well, we're going to tell some deep, dark, horrible stories. So get on board, fam. You want to kick it off? I don't know.

You want me to kick it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you start. I'm still like, how do I talk? I feel like I'm, like, smiling, and I'm about to tell, like, the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I'm just, like, ear to ear grinning, and I'm going to, like, really just make everybody want to die today. I will tell the story. Oh, my heart's beating so fast. I know.

I know. I'm getting a little bit of, like, weird anxiety. So, the worst breakup I ever went through was a couple years ago. I was with somebody for three years. We were engaged, which I've mentioned on this podcast, but I actually haven't really told the story about what happened. I'm going to give you a short version. We, I don't know, he could sort of never, we had a good relationship. We did.

We got along. It was fine. We never fought. It was a pretty healthy relationship, I think. Good for you. He was a good guy. Honestly, even today, I don't have anything bad to say about him in general. He really just could never get his shit together.

It was just one job after the next and one pipe dream after the next and one group of friends and hobby. And it was hard for me to deal with. Right. people in New York City. Oh my gosh. Everybody I know is coming to this. The morning before the engagement party, he came home drunk at 5 o'clock in the morning.

He woke me up and told me I'm not in love with you anymore and I don't want to marry you. Fuck. You've told me this story. It never gets easier to hear. Like, my heart hurts. I can't even imagine it. You know, I tell this story and it's interesting because I think about the girl that went through this, me.

Right. But she feels like a different person because I've, I am a different person today, and I feel so sad for that girl. But anyways, he said I'm not in love with you anymore, and I don't want to marry you, and that basically was it. And the engagement party was the next day, so I couldn't cancel it. The train had left the station. Oh, my God.

So I basically sat in the bathroom and cried for five hours. So you went to the party. Well, a few hours later, my entire bridal party and my family from all over the country. Right, because it was five in the fucking morning. Flew flew into New York. Right. So there's nothing I could do about this. So we went to the engagement party.

So the first thing you can do after breakup, go to your engagement party. Fuck! We went to the engagement party. It was obviously the worst day of my life. I don't know. I mean, I can't even imagine how I got through it. I just did. There was nothing I could do about it.

The next day, he packed a backpack, and he told me I just need to think about some things, basically, and he walked out the door. And so I was left in this apartment full of engagement presence to the ceiling. and a wedding I had already planned and paid for. And what do you do? What in the actual fuck? So, I mean, obviously this is a horrible story, but I do want to give some advice about what I did do the next day

to talk about how to maybe come back from this a little bit. When you're engaged with somebody, it's just the same as any other long-term relationship. You're very ingrained in their family and their friends and your whole life is intertwined. and especially if you live together, the apartment is a coffin of your things together. Right. So what are some things I did?

Immediately I called some friends to come over. I would say the best thing you can do in these situations is surround yourself with people that love you. I totally agree. I think it's really important and it reminds you, you know, this isn't the only thing I have in my life. I have other things. I have other people. I texted some of my bridesmaids and I was like, oh, we just broke up if you want to come over. my God. And it's, that's what they're there for. Like, this is the time to lean on your friends and family. This is one of the things that I jotted down as well. Like, if you need to go to your parents' house, wherever it is, like, let them take care of you. There's nothing better than like letting your mom just like take care of you. And lean on your friends and hopefully you have really great friends that will be there for you and help you through this. I mean, when I went through my breakup, there was three months of just after it that were so terrible.

And I think almost every Friday night, like clockwork, I would go to my best friend Kate's house. And I would bring her this meal kit and she would cook it for me. And I would sit in her giant kitchen and drink wine. And then we would go upstairs in the movie room. She's a huge house. And watch a friend with a movie room. Yeah, I can't. It's, I am richer friends. And, um, and watch Netflix. And it was, and it was like, it kept me going every Friday night. I looked forward to this tradition that we had. And she, I don't even know, this is what I'm going to get emotional. I don't even know what I would have. it done without her. She's like the single person that I can say that was like got me through the like darkest three months post breakup. And of course I call my mom all the time, you know, I'll tell my story,

but it was over the holiday. So I was able to go home and spend time with family. But family and friends, like this is the time to lean on them. Yeah. And I'm glad that you had that in your life. And I was so thankful that I did. And I always tell like my best friend and my mom like I probably would have checked into a mental institution if it wasn't for you. Your best friend and your mom. Right. I really hope. But it's something to remember, like, don't be embarrassed by these things. Don't feel ashamed.

Like, if you're going to be embarrassed by something, be embarrassed that, like, 75 people just came to your engagement party and then your fiance left you the next day. You guys, it can't be worse than Rana's situation. Right. So console yourself with that. If you think you've been through something bad, I've been through worse. So I would really lean into this and just be like, oh, look, this has happened to everybody. It really had, not that.

But this kind of pain really has happened to everybody. People go through divorces. People get cheated on. Don't be embarrassed by this. Reach out to the people. Talk about it. Talk about it at nauseam. I would talk about it as much as you have to.

Have friends sleep over. I had friends sleep over my house every single night for like two weeks. People trying to like force me to eat. They're like, hey, bring me some food. I didn't eat. I looked amazing. Oh, breakup diet. That's on my list.

We'll get to that. We will get to that. So that's the first thing I wanted to talk about. The next thing I did to really make myself feel better is I sort of mentioned that I was living in this like coffin of our life together, I would scrape the apartment of the person. So if there are photos, if there's t-shirts, if there's trinkets that remind you of the person,

put it in the trash can like I did. And friends can help with this too. Yep. I invited. Have them come over and do like the cleanse. Especially if you have to move out or the person has to move out. I am so thankful I had a couple girlfriends come over and pack up all of his stuff.

They met him outside with his stuff. I didn't have to do any of it. So good. God. So I would say, you know, invite friends over to do that for you. Don't be embarrassed. Ask for help. Lean into your friends.

People love to help with this shit. Like, people, people do. If they're good people, this is the time when they're like, I'm glad to be a friend. Right. Get those pictures out of the apartment. Put them in the dumpster. Light them on fire. So that's really, that was really important.

It's a relationship. Hopefully you don't have. Hopefully you don't have to return 50 engagement gifts, you know, like I did. But yeah, that was very helpful to me. You want me to tell more things or you want to talk about your story? And then we'll sort of go from there. Yeah, and then we can go from there. I went through a breakup that was really bad with someone that I loved a lot and that I thought I was going to spend my life with.

and this was end of 2015. So we hadn't been together as long as you guys. I mean, we'd only have been together about a year, but very serious, like, passionate relationship where we both kind of felt like we found our soulmate to be cliche as fuck. And we had been fighting. So it was kind of a little bit riding on the wall situation,

but I just never thought we would break up. Doesn't make it hurt last. Yeah. And so we broke up in December before the holidays. Like we literally, I remember, I think we broke up on a Wednesday. That Monday we had been in Target getting a tree stand for our first Christmas tree together and like broke up that went. Like it happened so fast.

It was so like, I can't believe this is happening. Like I was like, well, I still have to go get a Christmas tree. It's like, Christmas trees like make you feel better. You know what I mean? Like to look at them. I like go to get a Christmas tree and had a meld down in the Home Depot. So that was cool. It was tough.

And we were living together at the time. I stayed a week at Kate's. and then I high-tailed it to New York, and I stayed in New York and then went home to Delaware for the holidays. The next three months were how they were so sad. That's when I was, you know, leaning on my friends and doing some of the other things that I'm going to mention. But for me, I would come to New York a lot. During that time, I lived in Atlanta at the time. And I, it essentially is what brought me here.

I realized how much, how I felt so much better when I was here. I remember when I was here in March and it was like the to the day of three months. that we had broken up and I had this epiphany. I was walking. I remember exactly where I was walking in Union Square. And I was like, it has been three months. I need to snap the fuck out of this. And I like, kind of did. And it was this like, time stamp on it in a way. And I was like, I love New York. I should probably live here and made that decision probably in that moment. And I moved here within the year. So this is not for everybody, but I can say if you were considering a move, if you were considering a life change, if that was something that was already kind of on your mind, which

it had been. I'd considered moving from Atlanta prior to meeting this person and then he kind of kept me there. This is the time to do it. I've lost track of the amount of people and friends I know that have moved to New York City after breakup. It doesn't have to be New York City, but I'm not saying to run away and I'm not saying to do something drastic that you never planned on. But if that thought had been in your mind, this is the time to do it.

Or travel the world or those things that you want to do. do. This is the time to do them. Maybe it's just to take some big trip. I had a really gut-wrenching another situation that happened. And I went on a trip to Aruba and that's where I met Raina. So it was really therapeutic for me. But I can't recommend moving enough. And you just, I mean, when my ex and I were broken up and, let me, to give you the backstory, we did, we got back together, quote unquote, and kind of like did that tumultuous bullshit for another almost year. and then I finally moved here. But I mean, we lived a mile away from each other.

In Atlanta, I mean, that's basically the same neighborhood. So it was awful. It was so hard to separate. And it was like, you're right here. We go to the same places. You know, we're in Atlanta. Atlanta's a small town of the city. And so it was tough.

So that's one thing that I will say. Well, I think it's important to have a balance between like, yes, you want to change your scenery. You want to, I mean, you don't have to necessarily move, but like, change your scenery. Start going to different places, maybe move apartments. Do things that you didn't. do with that person, take a trip, whatever. But, you know, I think it's really important to have a balance between doing things to heal and also really feeling that pain because you have to go

through it. Really, like, let it out. Like, cry all you want, like scream. Like, a friend of mine that's another life coach type friend that I have was just like, do not not cry when you feel like you need to cry. I mean, you don't want to be walking down the street in public crying. But like, if you're, like, I remember calling you're like, I can't stop crying. Like, I feel like so broken inside and she was like, let it out. Like, let it all out. It's got to come out somewhere. And I, I think that's sometimes why it takes guys longer to heal because girls start immediately. Girls are crying and screaming and, you know, doing these things to like let the pain leave their body. And sometimes guys hold on to that way more. And then the girls kind of healed three, four months. And

the guy is still just like in this dark place, you know, six, eight months later. And I think that that has a little bit to do with it. But after three months, I was like, oh my God, I can't do this anymore. Right. But you felt it. I think that's super important. Yeah. Let the pain leave your body. I'm very lucky that my mother works in the psychiatry field. So she was able to give me some real advice. But like I probably, you know, call your dad, call your mom, call your siblings and have that same discussion over and over again. Get it out of your body. And when you really feel like people are sick of listening to you talk about it, write letters, journal about it, have fake fights in the shower.

I think it's really important to like write a letter and don't send it. Whatever you're feeling, like, let that out of your body because it will make you physically sick if you don't. The letter is great. I can't think about the amount of draft emails I have. You know what I did the day after our breakup? It was, I always tell people it was like the most wonderful thing that I did. So he packed a bag and he left. And I pretty much assumed we were breaking up, but he didn't take any of his things.

He just said, like, I need to think basically. And the next day, I opened up an email to draft it. And the email I wrote, I'm basically a monster and you're an angel. and I will change every single thing about myself for one more minute of your love. Wait, you said that? I wrote this in an email. I remember that sentence because it's so sad. I'll get to that.

I just said, you know, I hate myself for making you feel like this and on and on and all these promises about all these things I wanted to change. Before I hit send, I sat back and I read it and I realized I don't mean any of these things. Oh my gosh. I don't feel these things and I don't want to change myself. And I've been super unhappy by your lack of motivation and finance. and you don't really inspire me or excite me in any way. I mean, we never had sex towards the end.

Like, I realized, like, I'm allowed to be pissed off about this, too. Yeah. And instead, I wrote the email, I deleted it. I called my landlord, and I said, I just want to let you know that what happened. And she showed up in one hour with a new lease and locks, new locks for the apartment. Okay. She changed everything. Love her.

Love her. I didn't want him to have the opportunity to come back to the apartment and, like, steal things or take half of my shit and I deleted the email and I sent him a text. He had taken enough. He took my heart and that's enough. And I just, I sent him a text and I said, I know that you wanted some time, but I'm not going to give it to you and you don't live here anymore. You're not on the lease. You don't live here anymore, bitch. Raina has said you don't live here anymore a couple times this podcast. I love it. About the cheater guy where you were like, you don't live here anymore. Different guy. I guess every time I break up with somebody, I'm like, you don't live here anymore.

You don't live here anymore. Motherfucker. I put his stuff in grail. I put his stuff in garbage bags on the curb on Saturday. Yes, girl, yeah. That was it. Like, high-fiving you from across the room. But I think that sometimes those letters can be super therapeutic because when I wrote the letter, I realized, like, internally I was feeling all these things because you feel bad that the other person feels bad.

And then you're like, wait a second, I don't, I don't mean any of this. This sounds, I don't even know. I don't care how it sounds. I've done it. I know other people have done it. I have a good guy friend that has done it. Make a list of all the bad things about them and that they did to you. In writing.

How yes. In writing. How yes. list and you know what sometimes they weren't they didn't do all the things they didn't lie they didn't cheat they didn't gaslight you they didn't make you feel this like crazy whatever if the list just says they didn't love me the way i deserve to be loved then that's all the list fucking says and make it and read it put it on the fucking fridge i don't care look at it and then conversely make a list of all the amazing things about yourself and compare the fucking list and you will feel

better rain is getting emotional actually that's a beautiful thing to say i think right it down. And I'm a writer. So, you know, I don't know this is especially therapeutic for me, but to make that list of like, this is actually the things this guy did and the way he made me feel and like, I'm fucking amazing. That list helped me. My best guy friend did the same thing. He had a really tough, also he moved to New York after breakup, whatever. He had a really tough engagement breakup as well. And he was like, I made this list of like all the terrible things about this girl and read it to myself. And here's why that list also helps is I think that sometimes, Sometimes a lot of us have this, you know, maybe we'll get back together.

I'm going to do things to perpetuate this relationship kind of thing. If it is a really horrific breakup and you know you don't want to get back together with the person, it's important to have that list to remind yourself. Like, we read it. Like, you know, I, there were a lot of really great things about our relationship. I needed to remember all the bad things so that I didn't pick up the phone every time I was drunk. Right.

And again, I don't want to sound super negative. I don't, I think every relationship is a learning experience. I am grateful to the X that I'm speaking of for. the lessons that I did learn and for the content. And for nothing else. And for all the dogs sitting. But yeah, it's the reminder. It's so you don't pick up the phone.

So you don't feel like a shitty person. It's so you remember. Because it's way easier to just remember the good times. It's way easier to be sad and to think about all those times when you were in love and all those memories you shared. Pull that fucking list out. Right. And remember the good things that come along with a relationship,

companionship and laughing and, you know, having shared hobbies, you will find those things in other relationships. You will. You are a great person and funny and kind and fun, and those good things will be in any relationship. This one person isn't the only person you're ever going to find laughter and companionship from. So that's sort of like maybe you said like a negative thing to do in a dark place.

I would say for a positive, fun thing to do, the first thing I did was like, okay, I need a hobby. I need to like, I, so my first thought was, oh my God, like what am I going to do on? Saturdays and Sundays now. Right. Saturdays, Sundays, couple times. Like couple time, brunch time. Like, I guess I, you know, I eventually found friends to go to brunch with, but I signed up for culinary school. That's amazing. And I just wanted something to fill my days and something that got me out of the house and taught me a new skill and a hobby. So I went to the

Institute of Culinary Education. If you don't want to do like a full culinary program, they have individual classes. Every culinary school in New York does and all around the country. So if you want to do like a three-hour class on pasta making. That's a really fun thing to just take you out of your comfort zone. Pick up any hobbies, pick up photography or rock climbing or join a running club. But anywhere where you can like be out and be social and meet people and remind yourself, this wasn't the only thing in my life. I think it's just like a really important thing to do. Well, and just an outlet. So I'm I'm big on fitness. I'm big on working out. I don't know what I would be like without it. So especially there would be points when I was going through breakups in my

pass where I'm like, what would I do without this workout class or whatever it is? I think yoga's great. I think boxing is fucking great. Just like picture their face and just like it hit the bag. And I had a really tough situation recently. I'm not going to get into all the details. A breakup-ish situation, but that was really gut-wrenching. And that's when I took up hip-hop dance. So I'd always want to dance more. Dancing's amazing. So it goes back to like kind of letting this pain leave your body in that way. But like, man, some of those yoga classes just, cleanse me to no other in the boxing classes just got me feeling like feeling myself. Like I'm a badass and like you got to feel like you punched the person for an hour.

That's an amazing feeling. But on that note too, personally for me when I went through my breakup, I didn't stop eating, but I didn't eat as much. I just ate less. I didn't have an appetite a lot of times. I would drink with my friends, but I didn't go out and get drunk because I knew I would get sad. And I worked out all the time.

So my breakup body was so on point. I posted a picture on Instagram last week, y'all, Ash has, check it out. That was my breakup body. And, like, there is no better diet than the breakup diet. Every girl will tell you. So if you need to feel better about your breakup, look at your damn self in the mirror naked. Admire your breakup body. Don't do what I did last week, which is to take pictures of yourself naked,

upload them to a Google Drive, and then leave the Google Drive open on your computer so everybody at Starbucks sees your tips. But again, that's the way to get a man. So we're going to do an episode on meeting men in the wild. that that's going to be on it. Put naked pictures on your computer and leave it so where people can see it. I would just say treat yourself. I bought my entire wedding registry. Amazing. It was just like a cool six grand. It's whatever. I bought all the appliances, all the pots and pans. Like I was making a lot of money at the time. It was like whatever. You know, if I don't need all these

people to buy me these things, I'm going to buy me these things. Yes. Take a trip. I went to Miami. I traveled a bunch. Treat yourself. Do really indulge yourself. This is the time. I don't agree. People are going to be like, hey, girls, I listen to the podcast and I'm in debt now. Whatever, you can make money at another time. Like, this is the time to like lean into yourself. Self care. Self care. The thing I really want to talk about is social media.

Okay. And you know what? Perfect timing. Got through my list. You did? Me too. High five. Yes.

Hi-five. Let's talk about what to do with your social media. All right. My anxiety is picking up again. Love when Ashley gets all hot. Okay, so what are your feelings on the day you break up with somebody, do you block them? What do you do? Oh, God, okay.

Yeah, I think that's what you should do. I think that if someone breaks up with you and it's a breakup, it's not like a break, kind of just erase them from your life for your own sanity. When that breakup happened, the one I'm speaking of, it was a little gray. It was awful, but it was like we still talked way too much in between and I never should. Like if I could go back, I would have been like, no, you broke up with me. I'm not saying we're never going to back together. But in the interim, we're not talking.

I'm not looking at any of your social media. I would make myself crazy looking at social media and misinterpreting everything, like going absolutely insane. I think don't look at any of it. You're going to misconstrue whatever you see. My take on it is, and I've done this the right way too, with something recently that I dealt with where I just was like, you're not seeing my stuff. and I'm not seeing yours and I just kind of want to pretend you don't exist.

I think don't look at anything. It's going to make you feel bad. There's no best case scenario. You're not going to see their social media and see a photo of them frowning saying, like, I want to kill myself because Ashley left me. There's no good case scenario. I think for me it was I don't want to see any of this. I'm going to do everything I can to not see this, but prepare myself for the worst,

should it creep into my feed or should something happen? And know that there might be, whether your ex has a new person or not, know that one day they will, and hopefully it's at a point where you're over it, but that there might be a picture out there on social media of them and someone else and you might have to see it one day. But I would say, do everything you can to avoid that situation and just know, prepare yourself for the absolute worst and hope it never happens. It's not childish. It's self-care, again, block, block, block.

Block. I mean, if you need to unfollow the friends that they might pop up into. I think that you bring up a good point about maturity. And I think a lot of us, like, after a breakup, like, you want to do the mature, I'm not going to be like a child, an immature child, and block them. Fuck that. Nothing will make you sicker than stalking somebody on every platform available to you. It makes you sick. It does.

Like, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat. And like I said, there's no best case scenario. You're not seeing this person post pictures of themselves, like, in a bed under a blanket crying or seeing the sad music about you. There's nothing good that's going to happen, like, from looking at it. their social media. And I think that, like, the most important thing is out of sight, out of mind, block that shit, get it out of your head.

It will make you so sick going through somebody's thing. Really avoid that inclination to, like, want to keep your Instagram public so that, you know, they can see you on a vacation, live in your best life. Like, don't play these games. Nothing will make you feel worse than that. Just block the person to be done with it. I don't really want to see somebody's, like, face in a little bubble at the top of my Instagram story.

It just hurts me. It makes me feel pain. You know, maybe I don't really necessarily believe that you can be friends with the next. Some people can't. Depends why you break up. Maybe a year down the road, six months down the road, you can be. But I think for self-preservation right now, block them and move away from this. You're just going to make yourself unhappy.

I totally agree. And I've heard of situations. I didn't really need to do this to the extreme, but I remember a girlfriend of mine went through a divorce, so break up on steroids. and had her friend come over and do the Facebook cleanse. Like they were divorced. There was no way they're getting back together. So it was like delete all the pictures, delete the albums, delete the honeymoon album.

You know, like get this out of my social media in print. And I think that's something that, you know, you can have your friends do for you if you need to. Yeah. And I mean, I actually want the extra step in this case because, you know, we'd be together for so many years and we were getting married. His family obviously was such a big part of my life. I also blocked all of them. I unfriended every single person in his life, all of him.

his best friends and all of his family. It wasn't because I hated these people or did anything wrong. I just, I couldn't have it in my life. I couldn't have the constant daily reminder that, like, the life I thought I was going to have is dead. And I think people understand that. I don't think they take it personally. No.

And it wasn't personal. His family is wonderful. His friends were fine. But I think that that's really important. I think we all have this inclination to, like, want to let people watch your story and watch you on vacation. Don't do that. Just be done with it.

If you actually want to heal. Right. I totally agree. I mean, look, if it's like, if you really need to just get that one bikini pick out, fucking do it, and then let him see it, let him screenshot him, let him jerk off to it. But like, then block them on everything. I don't, you know, a lot of people ask us, when should you start dating again? That's a whole other conversation. And I would say, you know, when you're ready, you're ready. But, you know, I would go out there and have sex with somebody. Oh, I did.

Best way to get over somebody, get under someone else. Yeah, that's really an important. Get your groom back. Just someone younger. Awesome. find someone younger. Someone incredibly looking at 24. Yeah. Remind yourself that like you are a valuable, sexy part of society. I'm like, I don't know. If you're ready,

if it's not going to make you feel terrible, like I had sex with somebody that I dated before him right after we broke up. Oh my God. Okay, just everybody's different. So sometimes that can end in tears. Like, well, it was next that I was never going to feel bad about.

It's really, I kind of, I think we could do so much on like when, and it's such a personal thing. It's a different topic, but I just want to say, like, one final thing is like, yeah, I would get out there and, you know, okay, girl, pound town with some new meat. Make sure they're 24. Okay, I would say my final remarks are, as cliche as it is, it does get easier with time. And if anyone's listening to this and you are in that, like, deep, dark place of where it's not even just, like, your mental thoughts, it's like pain in your body and, like, that anxiety, like, it just, it fades away.

It really does. And like I said, sometimes, like, put a timestamp on it. I've done that where I woke up. I was like, it's been three months. I'm going to decide to be better from this. There's a meme I saw recently. And it was like, I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore, simple as that.

And I gave me so many feels because I think that you can do that. Once you get the pain out of your body and it's just your mind, it's like your mind on a loop of like this heartbreak over and over and all the things this person did to you. You can change that. So I do think that every day, it gets better every day. And then that feeling is so amazing when you wake up and you're like, oh, my God. I don't care. hurt like this anymore. Yeah, it's amazing. So we wish that for all of you guys. Oh,

Ash, you're so sweet. Um, all right. Well, I want to segue into something a little lighter. Oh my God. I'm so excited. But because we're talking about like breakups and dating, I thought today we'd play a new game. What's the game, girl? We're going to play fuck Mary kill. Yes. And I've come up with some scenarios to throw at you. I'm so excited. I was texting Ashley. I was like, I thought, up an entire page of Fuck Mary Kills. I'm like so excited. By the way, this is the only game we'll be playing from here until the end of time. All right. I'm going to start with something that's just top of mind for me. Fuck Mary Kiel. Scott Dissick. Oh my God. I fucking knew it. Chris Humphrey. Tristan. Triston. Oh my God. Okay. Scott Chris Tristan. Kill Tristan. I'll kill him with you.

Kill Tristan Thompson. Good morning to everyone except Tristan Thompson. Um, I'll fuck Scott Dissick. I guess I'll marry Chris Humbley's. I don't even know. I don't give a fuck. I'm with you. I feel like he's like dumb, right? Yeah, he could just like do whatever.

Of the three of them, he seems like the least piece of shit. I mean, they're all the worst people ever. But like, I bang me some Scott Dissick. I totally would. I mean, I bang Scott Dissick aside from this game. You know what I mean? Okay. If you're listening, Scott Dissick, Ashley and I will have sex with you.

I'm keeping the same, same theme. Fuck Mary Kill. Tristan Thompson. No, get ready, though. Kanye and Lamar. Do we really come up with the same list? Okay, so Tristan, Kanye, and Lamar.

Crackhead, Lamar. I wouldn't fuck him. I'm right. You know what he did in those brothels. Oh, man. I'm going to, damn it. No, we're going to use a con. And we're killing Tristan because it's just too fun.

I mean, he deserves to fucking die. Then I'd probably bang Lamar. And I'd marry Kanye because, like, who wouldn't want to live with Kanye West? Like, my favorite account ever is Kanye doing things. Yes. It's entertainment. If I could wake up every morning and just, like, watch Kanye do things. It's my best life.

Okay. Your turn. Next one. Ronald McDonald. The Burger King. And the KFC Colonel. Oh, my God. What?

I told you, I thought the whole day doing the show. Yesterday. Oh, my God. All right. I think I want to, wait, Colonel Sanders is one of them. Yeah. I feel like he's a husband material. Okay.

Colonel Sanders. Also, Reba McIntyre is who's playing Colonel Sanders right now. So I guess I'm married Reba. I guess I'll fuck the Burger King. That sounds funny. I mean, I would love to fuck somebody wearing a cape. Who wouldn't? Yeah.

And I'll kill Ronald McDonald. Fuck him. Who wouldn't kill a clown? I would kill a clown. Yes. Okay. I feel like I nailed it. All right.

This is my favorite. one I came up with. Okay. Fuck Mary Kill. Donald Trump. Mitch McConnell? You're like, how can it get worse? And Coulter.

Ted Cruz. Can I just kill them all? Option D. Murder every one of them. Trump, old-ass Mitch McConnell or Zodiac killer Ted Cruz. I just can't wait to see who you fuck. Mitch McConnell's going to die anyways.

I'm just, kill him just because he's like on his death. I'm going to fuck Ted Cruz. I'm going to marry Donald Trump for multiple reasons. Number one, I'm going to marry the richest person on this list because I'm smart. True. Number two, I never have to have sex with him because he only fucks, like, slores, prostitutes. Like, I never have to touch his penis.

You don't. And they don't even live together. I don't even live with him. And I get to use his money. Oh, hell yes. Wait, perfect husband alert. I know. I'm not going to like, I had a political one.

I'll kill Mitch McConnell. He's about to die anyway. About politics, but I just wrote, I wrote down Joe Biden, and then I probably started masturbating and, like, took a nap. I should have done a sexy politic one. I did a sexy politic one, but it's not that funny. Barack all day. Jim, Dwight, or Michael? Oh, my God.

I literally, I think I saw Jim on the street, like a couple hours ago. Like, I had a meeting, and I was like, oh, I know who that is. of course every celebrity you see is so much more beautiful in real life i got like really hot and bothered god i want to marry and fuck him i love him um marry jim i can't i'll fuck dwight do you know how much weird shit dwight is doing bad just to talk about it and i'll kill michael scott whatever yeah i'm with you girl okay oh this girl i don't even know if you're ready for this one i'm ready bring it on fuck mary kill Beyonce, Rihanna, Cardi B.

Okay. I'm going to kill Rihanna. Just be caught. Just hear me out. Oh, my God. I'm not okay. Here's why. Okay, I should have ended with that.

I would fuck Cardi B because you just know some, she does some weird stuff, right? Like, she'll be like, oh, chat. Like, it's just some weird. Ocour? Do it. Do the, okra? Wait, go one more time? Ocour?

Anyways, I would have sex with Cardi B because she would, would just do weird things. I would marry Beyonce because who wouldn't want to like bask in Beyonce's light all day every day. That just leaves Rihanna. So like, oh, I just can't believe it. Who doesn't want to fuck Rihanna? All right, I have one. You don't really like cartoons,

but... We each took such a different turn. Okay. Homer Simpson. Oh, Jesus. Peter Griffin. Randy Marsh. Do you know what other people are? Yeah, Peter Griffin has the same body as Chris Christie. He should have been on my politicians one. What was the last one?

Randy Marsh, who's that? He's South Park. He's Stan's Dad. He's one of my favorite characters of all time. Randy Marsh, Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson. I guess I'll, do you think Randy Marsh's husband material? He's just the best person on Earth. He's also probably the richest of the three, which is the most important to me.

I'll fuck Homer Simpson and kill Chris Christie. Okay, ready? I'm ready. Fuck Mary Kill. This one's special for you. Oh, yes. Sis. Guy Fieri.

I knew it was a chef's edition. Thank you. Guy Fieri, Mario Batali, Emerald Legassi. Okay. I mean, I'm definitely killing Mario Batali. Right, right, right. That's fair. What a piece of human garbage.

Oh, that made it easy, yeah. Emerald and Guy, again, like, I only rate these things on who is the richest, who would be the weirdest in bed. and then I just kill the last person. Right. So, like, Emeril seems like a sweet old dad. And, like, he's from New Orleans. It's one of my favorite cities. He could, like, cook me gumbo.

He's probably too old to fuck. So, like, I would probably marry him. Good call. Whatever. And then I'd fuck Guy Fieri because, like, I just want him to say weird stuff while we have sex. Do you think he'd keep the sunglasses on the back of his neck? I would insist that he kept the sunglasses on. And, like, that flame shirt.

On that note. All right, guys. Thank you so much for listening to our first. in-studio podcast at Mouth Media, powered by Senheiser. Again, if you're looking for other podcasts to check out, your V-life is pretty cool. Yeah, get that vagina, tight and right. And I'm excited because we have some great guests coming up on the show, so you can listen to other people besides me and Ash, talk about stuff.

Subscribe, rate, review, share us with your friends. We love reading the reviews, follow us on social. Girls gotta eat podcast on Instagram. We're on Twitter. We've been getting some fun tweets. Raina doesn't read them. I've just screenshot them and send them to her because she doesn't do Twitter. Totally forgot Twitter.

We're on Facebook too and we're not on Snapchat. Thanks guys. All right guys, have a good week.