Girls Gotta Eat - How to Understand Men Better…Through Their D*cks with Author Kristina Denton

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

We can guarantee you’ve never heard an episode like this before! We are joined by Kristina Denton, former penis fixer and author of You Don't Know Dick: How I Healed My Daddy Issues Fixing Broken Di...cks. She shares the story of how she got into the business of treating dysfunctional dicks and all the questions you’re dying to know (Why were most men coming to the clinic? How does it work? Do they get hard during the procedure?). But she also shares what she learned about men and their shame, why they overcompensate, and what’s really going on in their relationships and lives when their penises won’t perform, plus how she healed her own issues with her father through her dick fixing journey. We also discuss what to say/what not to say if you’re dealing with a partner who has ED, patterns of dick size (and whether height correlates), why guys need penis pumps (who knew!), and her own past sexless relationship. Before Kristina joins us, we are breaking down “bird hands” and why they’re a male ick, and we have a discussion about the evolution of our podcast and how much we choose to share. Enjoy! Follow Kristina on Instagram at @Kristina7Denton and get her book You Don’t Know Dick on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: BiOptimizers: Sleep great and get 15% off at https://bioptimizers.com/gge with code GGE. Hungry Root: Get 40% off your first box and free item in every box for life at https://hungryroot.com/gge with code GGE. Skims: Shop everyday cotton plus our favorite bras and underwear at https://skims.com. IM8: Get a free welcome kit, 5 travel sachets, and 10% off your order at https://im8health.com/gge and use code GGE. Resort Pass: Get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more at https://resortpass.com/gge. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I was like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, I have a front row seat to male shame to the thing that they are the most terrified of, which is this like definition of what makes them a man is broken. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to their episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. And happy cancer season. Ever here.
Starting point is 00:00:35 I forget. I think I skipped a year. The 22nd it starts? I mean, this week. All right, it's this week. What other week would it be? The 23rd? I always think it's a 22nd, but you know, there's a mixed review.
Starting point is 00:00:48 So enjoy the last day of Gemini season, you guys. You chaotic. June 21st, most people say. Wow, I didn't know. It would be tough to be on June 21st. You're like, what am I? What was I made for? Isn't that every sign, though?
Starting point is 00:01:02 It just depends because I feel like Shishonk, who was October 21st, it's like he's a clear Libra. No one's ever said he's like up for debate to be a Scorpio. I'm not up for debate, yeah, at all. Well, happy? cancer season, you guys. All right, now we can think our partners. Okay, thanks to bioptimizers. Sleep great and get 15% off at bioptimizers.com slash GGE with co-G and hunger root. Get 40% off your first box and a free item in every box for life at hungry root.com slash gg with
Starting point is 00:01:30 co-g and skims. And skims shop every day cotton plus our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. And thank you to IM8. Get a free welcome kit, five travel sachets and $10 off your order at IM8Health.com slash gge and use co-GGE. And thank you. thank you to Resort Pass. The day is yours. Get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more at resortpass.com slash GGE and Quince. Get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com slash GGE. So I saw this thing on TikTok and I wanted to see what you thought of this and if you had seen it. So I saw some thing that was viral. This is probably weeks ago at this point because you know, TikTok, TikTok would serve me something for March, you know? Like that's what happened to me
Starting point is 00:02:12 lately. Yeah. I mean, it's just kind of. Yeah. It's just, it's, it's, it's, whatever, but I'm like, I have seen this sometimes. Like, you guys got to figure out your Algo more. I'll still be, I'll be getting comments on my Val video till 2027. I hope so. It's like, it never stops. So it's still being served to people is my point, you know. So this woman had asked for men's icks, you know, in a nicest way.
Starting point is 00:02:34 And they were pretty nice. Like, I got served one of these like a couple days ago also. Yeah. So there's a few out there, but this is one of the most popular ones. And this was still in May. So it's not that old. But it says, since girls always. talk about their icks about guys. I want to hear guys,
Starting point is 00:02:47 icks about girls. Oh. And they weren't that, you know, I was like, oh, what's this comment section going to be? Just a bunch of misogynist men. But they weren't too bad. I mean, I think that someone I'm personally not a big fan of cheating. Like just a man? Yeah. Like unable to say sorry, not saying please and thank you. These are turnoffs. Doing everything for, yeah, exactly. Well, that's the thing. Like men don't really have ex. But the one that I saw. And I saw this in a couple different comment sections is they said bird hands. Wait, let me try to figure out what that means.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Okay, we'll take a guess because I didn't know it. And then it was like linked on TikTok like you could go see a bunch more content on bird hands. Bird hands. Yeah, let me know what you think. I mean, my only thought is just like a really slight hand because like I'm thinking about like a pigeons. Yeah, but really think about that. Why would a man care if your hands are small? Right.
Starting point is 00:03:42 I have a bird hand. I'm just, I think birds are so disgusting. I'm just grossed out thinking about it. Can you show me? Okay. This. So when you, a lot of, like, you see people talk like this. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:03:55 It's a mannerism. It's more of a mannerism. So I don't, I don't really do this. But if that's how you talk, I talk with my hands. I'm not criticizing it. But you, you know what I'm talking about. And you can kind of see it. So sometimes, first of all, this is Italian,
Starting point is 00:04:14 holding this. gesture is like that's not but when the the Italian hand is flipped you do see more women doing like this this kind of how they hold their hands when they talk and then you see sometime they clamp where that's really trying to drive a point home I'm trying to do I do this I don't think you do it and I think of I can think of one friend who does it but other than that I think maybe it's a little younger mannerism I'm trying I mean I talk of my hands a lot I watch my own Instagram stories and I'm very as I'm talking you don't do versed. I mean, you watch me on this podcast every single week.
Starting point is 00:04:49 You and I don't do that. I'm trying to think why I would. Unless I was like in your face, like trying to like yap, yap, yep, yep, like you try to really piss somebody off. Well, so that's the thing. And like I saw one TikTok that said, hot take, men say they hate birdhands, but women use birdhands when they're emphasizing their words.
Starting point is 00:05:06 And I think what men really hate is when women are trying to make a point because then they actually have to listen to them. And obviously that's what they actually hate. Of course, not all men don't want to listen to women. You know, but that could be that men, that don't like it have had an experience where a woman is birdhanding in their face. But just this in general, I picture the women that do this. And it's a vibe.
Starting point is 00:05:26 It's a vibe. I'm not that vibe. I'm not that vibe. I'm not that vibe. I just, I will find other ways. I do this a lot. I, like, roll my wrist a lot when I talk. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:35 And of course, like, I'm sure everybody has mannerisms that someone might not like or that would be an ick. But that specific thing, I think is interesting. And then I saw one woman be like, I'm going to do birdhands all day. because I want to show up my nails. I get them done every week. She did this great nail art. She was like, I want to click them together.
Starting point is 00:05:50 And that's almost like why you're doing it too. And it's like a showing off type thing. I do feel that I do that in Instagram stories because my nails always look great. You know, I just get regular manicures. And I want people to know that I've put time and energy into this that could have gone into something else. And yeah, I talk a lot with my hand. Same.
Starting point is 00:06:05 No, bird hands. I do not identify with this. And then I did see someone take the, you're just, you just hate Italians. And that's not it. This is not a bird hand. This is upside. down birdhand Italian chef kiss. What would have to happen to me in order for me to start talking like this?
Starting point is 00:06:20 I mean, if I do this hand gesture, like, I'm kind of being funny, but I don't peck with my hands like that. Fuck, no. Something bad would have had to happen in order for that. I know, like, who hurt you men that even clock this and don't like it? Like, I can't be in the middle of an argument arguing like this. I'm not comfy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:39 I got to be as comfy as possible to like win this argument. But I guess I can picture a really. loud outgoing woman like us. That's not a dig. Who's really birdhanding in a guy's face on a date and he doesn't like it. I wouldn't like it. I would not like it. I wouldn't like if,
Starting point is 00:06:57 no, I understand. It's like, it's a vibe. You can see the whole relationship through that hand. That hand is a portal to what the next five years are going to be like of your life. Maybe. Or sometimes that's just how women want to do this and like make a point.
Starting point is 00:07:11 I don't know. So it's just funny. I wonder if, if any of you guys are like, listening, watching this conversation, you are doing this, not even clamping him together, but when your thumb is touching the rest of your fingers in this bird, this is a bird, this is the bird, right, the shape. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:07:26 If you're doing this and you're pecking when you're talking, like, why? And just let us know. It's no shade. I mean, I support anything women want to do. It hurts my wrist. But can you imagine a guy, he's like, dude, I like her, but she's bird hands. Can you imagine? This is a man.
Starting point is 00:07:41 A man saying that to his friend, and his friend's like, how big are her? boobs. Be honest. Yeah, right. Yeah, no. He's like, hey man, like, how was a date? Like, what do you think? Like, she's such a cool chick. She looks so hot. And he's like, dude, she's like everything. But I just can't get past the bird. Do you think men know what bird hands are? They're the ones saying. All other men are like, no, no, no. Like, Shishank didn't know. But then I did it. And he goes, no, I don't like that. I think you get a real feeling when you see somebody doing it. Yeah. So he was like, oh, I mean, it wouldn't have turned me off of you, probably. But I understand some people being like it makes my dick go soft. Was there anything else crazy in there?
Starting point is 00:08:18 Nothing. Again, the ones that I saw were, maybe they don't like a vocal fry or documenting everything for TikTok. I guess everybody, I mean, people have a pulse, they'll come up with something. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:29 And if you want to do everything for social media and you're dating somebody and he doesn't like it and you want to keep doing it, that's not your person. No, that's the real unnatural. And if you want to talk with vocal fry, you'll find someone that also is fine with that. the Kardashians talk with vocal fry.
Starting point is 00:08:47 There's some of the, you know, most desired women in the world. I mean, Kendall Jenner, if I could pick any of their dating histories, it might be. I think it's Kendall Jenner. I think it's bad bunny and Jacob Allorty. Like, I would die. That's, well, who else would even be? Is there anyone else's exes that you even care about? That's true.
Starting point is 00:09:07 I mean, all of Chloe's just seemed like they treated are terrible. So that's out. Scott Dissick, no. Like, I'm not attracted to Scott Dissick. or Lamar or Kanye. Taiga or Chris Humphreys. Travis Scott is good looking. That's Travis Scott.
Starting point is 00:09:25 But also Kendall General General, there's other people on the roster. I mean, she's got the best dating history that I would choose. Who else does she have? Was Devin, whatever? No. Oh, Devin Booker.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Yeah. I've been like getting served more videos of her. Yeah, bad bunny. It's like, obviously. Like, she's the wand. That's crazy. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Okay. Well, anyway, you guys let us know about your bird hands. in the comments. So something else we wanted to talk about. And we received this listener of the show who emailed and posted publicly on Instagram stories and tagged us. So I'm like, oh, you're going to tag us. You want us to see this.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I don't care what people say about us behind her backs on the internet. I never have this. That's not our business. We've just never been like that. But when you want to email and you want to bring it to us, then I'm happy to address it. You know, so she wanted some attention. Yeah. So she just kind of complained about the.
Starting point is 00:10:14 show now and took a bunch of shots. Like, was this the first good episode in a while? Like, basically like, hey, guys, am I right or does girls got to suck these days? Which is, you took a shot at us. Like, I'm happy to shoot. You don't start no shit and won't be no shit as always. And I don't need to go through her whole post and redline it because a lot of it, I just didn't really feel like it was valid or accurate.
Starting point is 00:10:38 She kind of complained about us talking about pop culture, which was interesting because we've always talked about pop culture since 2020, really. in depth and then we removed it from the Monday episodes to focus on dating and relationships and made a whole other episode about it. So you actually can consume it or not. But again, I don't need to go down on everything that she said. She's welcome to her opinion. And this may be opinion other people share. I mean, this is someone that probably talks about our show to her friends and has been a long time listener and anyone who has been around from the start. We appreciate you being here. I don't consider you a fan when you're posting, does this show suck now? I think you're an op.
Starting point is 00:11:12 But if you want to still consider yourself a fan, we're happy to have you. And we're happy to address criticism because I actually find this interesting on a bigger level and like an overarching theme. And that's why we wanted to talk about it. It wasn't just like someone criticizes and we're going to defend ourselves. It's more just like I do find this fascinating when people critique something like a show, a podcast for evolving over an eight and a half year time period. Listen, everybody is allowed to have whatever opinion they want of us. And Ashley and I check in with our friends and our families and people we love and people whose opinions we value. And I am not impervious to feedback.
Starting point is 00:11:49 I like feedback. It's important. Yeah. If you're going to tag me and something shitty on an Instagram story, that's not the type of feedback. I'm going to digest through a positive lens. But I just think in general the comment of like this used to be different and now I don't like it anymore is really interesting. And I think anybody that's had a business for this long in media, I mean, to have you guys stick around. for nearly a decade is like really an honor.
Starting point is 00:12:11 I can't even really like compute in my brain that anybody would stick around that long and watch the extreme evolution. I think how different we are and how much we've evolved and I'm so proud of it. Like I could not be more proud of the evolution of the show and the knowledge that you and I have gotten and the lens through which you guys have allowed us to see the world and see other people. And I think it's made you and I kinder, more patient, more understanding and also a little more private as we've gotten older.
Starting point is 00:12:37 So that was to be, I'm going to go back. She was listening. She'd be like, my main gripe was that you guys are like gatekeeping and not sharing as much. And I actually don't totally agree. But I see the point only because I guess you're just used to like us being single sharing about our dates and our sexual escapades. And that's not our life now. Like I have, I feel like I've been really open about my marriage and. and the evolution of that.
Starting point is 00:13:09 And I'm never going to come in here and tell you about like a fight we had or something that Shishonk wouldn't want me to. I don't know. Like my relationship, I share as much as I feel comfortable. And if people want more, I mean, his comfort level and the privacy that we want to maintain, like, does come first. You know, like, I think it would have been really hard if he was like, you can't talk about me at all. And that would have been a bridge we would have had to cross.
Starting point is 00:13:37 because the show was very important too. And I would have hated to have to make that decision. But I think you see this a lot. You see it with most podcasts, a caller daddy being one, where these two single women shared all these sexual escapades about people they weren't in relationships with. And you got a lot of information. And then, I mean, that is a different show now.
Starting point is 00:13:59 But I don't listen to it regularly, so I can't really speak. But I'm sure Alex shares a lot less. And there's so many other examples. examples, that's the biggest one. And so in terms of the privacy, I don't know. That's subjective. I really think that we are still very open and we aren't ever trying to withhold things. And these are conversations that Rain and I have privately what we're willing to share. And like, I have them with Shishonk too. And Rayne and I talk about guys she's dated and what she wants to share and what she doesn't. And it is part of just getting older and growing up too. I think about Alex Cooper is the
Starting point is 00:14:35 perfect example. She grew up. She fell in love with somebody. The stakes were higher. That's a private relationship that she holds sacred. And I think that most people, as they get a little more famous, Taylor Tomlinson used to have that podcast. And she would talk about her life all the time. And I think as she blew up a little more,
Starting point is 00:14:51 it became less comfortable. I'm completely hypothesizing and I don't know her personally. But I think, you know, as more people find you, more people have opinions about you and your life becomes more public. And I've just gotten more private as I've grown up. I want to have solid romantic relationships. relationships with people that like when they ask me you're going to talk about me on the podcast, I want the
Starting point is 00:15:10 answer to be no, I'm not going to reveal all this stuff about our lives that are really personal. Yeah, I'm going to talk about it as much as uncomfortable. If I'm really dating somebody, you guys will know about it. Yeah. And if I have a crazy experience, you guys will know about it. And maybe for the last few minutes, people feel like I've been talking about dating because I haven't been dating.
Starting point is 00:15:27 Well, right. I've also just been on tour. Like I saw a friend recently and she was like, so are you dating? And I was like, no. And she was like, nobody? And she was like, nobody. And she was like, come on. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:15:36 I just went to like 26 cities in three months. I don't have time. Who could I prioritize? But you are sharing everything that you're feeling on your tour, which is your life right now. And, you know, the move, for example, like we put it all out on the table a couple weeks ago about the move. We were sharing as much as we knew on this podcast. Like, I think, I wonder if people ever thought that like it felt gatekeeping.
Starting point is 00:16:00 And I'm like, if you think it's gatekeeping, our friends do too. Because if they're asking constantly around the clock and I'm out here like, I don't No, and that's the honest to God truth. And big moments, you and I've never actually really been ones to share exactly what's happening in the moment. Like, no one knew Dewey was sick until he died. And that was a decision I made. And I don't even know if I'd make the same decision now. Maybe I would have been a little more open. I had my own reasons and not really wanting feedback. And I didn't share about my rhinoplasties for a while after it happened. And I actually don't think I would have done that today. I think I would have been more open about it. Then,
Starting point is 00:16:34 Like we're all making these decisions and like it almost all comes out. It's just at our own discretion and we want to figure out how to talk about it. And I really love that about us. That it's not just like, no, I mean, I think we do a good job of not coming in here and being like, and then we have to change our minds or run it back or and retract anything. And so I don't know. That's just kind of how we operate. And again, people that listen to show are welcome to think whatever they want. That's their opinion. It's just interesting. Like all shows. shows will evolve over that amount of time. In 2018, when we started this, I would have known that eight years later, it wouldn't
Starting point is 00:17:13 have been the same. And I wouldn't have wanted it to be. I think it's nice to grow up. And I think that there's so much content in the world to fill the holes. You know, I think that, like, if you want late 20s or early 30s, I'm running around, I'm dating, I'm having those crazy sex stories. There's tons of content that exists for that. Totally.
Starting point is 00:17:30 We are no longer probably going to provide that a ton. but I do it on my tour. I talk about all these crazy wild sex stories. I mean, it's nothing but that. And everything can exist in one person, but I think that I have become a little more private as I've gotten older, and there's things that I don't talk about
Starting point is 00:17:44 on this podcast. I mean, I allude to the fact that I don't really have much of a relationship with one of my parents. Someday we'll talk about it a little more. I don't need to right now. That's probably the only thing I'm ever really gatekeeping about, but that's really private.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Absolutely. And I just, I think, to this girl's point, I think in general it's interesting what we ask of people in media and people that hold a microphone, people talk every single week, and what we expect them to share with us, not share with us. There's tons of people that share everything, and there's plenty of content you can find that are like that, but I mean,
Starting point is 00:18:13 there's plenty of shows also where you don't know anything about the hosts, and they don't talk about their private lives and their families and their relationships, and there's reasons for it, and they don't want to put those people on the chopping block, and they don't want to make those people public because they didn't sign up for that kind of stuff. And I think we try to sort of strike the balance between, like,
Starting point is 00:18:29 at least I hope we do, of like giving enough information, but not all of it. There are some things I'm going to keep sacred. Yeah, and I think there are people, public figures, who shared everything and then stopped completely. And that is your decision to stop supporting them, stop following, consuming their content. That's the decision you have to make. Like, they're within their right to do that. I don't always agree with the decision. I think sometimes people share a bunch, benefit from it, take your money, and then stop. And it's like, what do you owe people? You kind of do. Oh, more. You benefited from sharing. But it's still.
Starting point is 00:19:01 your decision and it's still your life. That's the consumer, the followers decision to stop supporting. And we know that we can't please everybody. I've never really been being the feedback loop. There's people out there like, I don't care and I don't re-comments and I'll take feedback. I'll take it from the type of people in my circle, my team. You know, like there's a healthy balance there too because everyone has to know that's like the advice I would give to anybody starting. You will not be able to please everybody. And even on the highest level, like some people just listen in the snack every week. Some people just want solos from us.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Some people would hate it if we stopped having guests. We learned that early on. We're doing our best and trying to really stay true to our roots and do what we feel proud of. Like if someone came in and they're like, girls, here's what you really got to do. We did surveys, we ran the test and we didn't like it. We wouldn't do it. You know, we want to feel proud of what we're putting out there. And I think every week reading comments, it's like, we know that some people prefer a solo versus a guest versus snack versus this.
Starting point is 00:20:00 And that's when you have to do what you want and feel proud of because you cannot please everybody. And this is advice I give no matter what you're doing. Well, like two things to what you said. You and I also check each other all the time. I mean, all the time, like we are at home an hour or two after recording. One of us will voice out the other person like, ah, I don't know if I liked how this sounded. Like, let's kind of digest this through a different lens. Like, we check each other all the time.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Our editors are wonderful. And they also like listen to the show and give us feedback. And just on like a broader sense, like it's just a good reminder that like, whatever you do in the world, if you're putting out content, there will be people that don't like it. And there will always be people on both sides of the coin. And I think if this was slut story, slut story, every week, there would be plenty of people that were like, you ladies are in your 40s. You haven't changed.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Stop it. You haven't grown up. Yes. And it's always the same fucking people that are going to hate you no matter what you do. And like our audience has grown up with us. And it's such an honor that like there's people in their 50s now, 40s that have children that listen to our show too and college. And like, I think those women want us to be role models for their daughters.
Starting point is 00:20:59 and like I'm proud that this is evolved and there will always be people that have a problem with what you do. And so like you just have to like trust your gut and the people that you love and the people around you to like give you good advice. Our friends are always giving us feedback and advice. It's always really positive and nice honestly.
Starting point is 00:21:11 But I mean, I think they can check us too and that's who I want to listen to and take feedback from. And you guys are usually really wonderful. I'll take a private email or DM here and there. Yeah, but it just you can't take all that in. It's you can't. No one's program for it.
Starting point is 00:21:26 And I think it's interesting. What this is nobody in particular. when people really think that you should. People really think their singular opinion, you should change your show for it. We've been emails like that for years. This isn't about that girl. This is about the entitlement that some people have.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Like, I don't like this. Stop doing it or do it differently. It's wild to me. Well, those of you do still like the show, everybody else. We love you guys. Yeah, we have the best science of the world. We say it all the time. And we're so honored to have moms and their daughters both listen.
Starting point is 00:21:55 And I say that in a like age range and also literally that that. happens and we know that happens and then that they've come to the show. And so it's been an honor to have you guys like along on the ride. And we love that we still have you young slots listening and women going through menopause listening. You know, it's an honor. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, let's talk about our partners. And then we will get into this episode today. We just recorded with Christina. And this is incredible. We cannot wait for you guys to hear this interview. Whatever you think it is, you may or may not be right, because it really takes so many different turns. It's wonderful. Yeah, whatever you think it is, it's going to blow your mind. So I'm just going to tell you about resort pass.
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Starting point is 00:26:56 That's I-M-N-8 Health-H-E-A-L-TH-H-E-H-E-L-TH-E-H-E-T-E-E-E-E-T-E-E-E. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. And let's get into it with Christina. Okay, guys, we are very excited to welcome our guest today. She is an actor, an author, a screenwriter, and a producer. She spent a year working hands-on in an erectile dysfunction clinic in LA, treating hundreds of men at their most vulnerable,
Starting point is 00:27:32 which resulted in her debut memoir. You Don't Know Dick. Please welcome to the show, Christina Denton. Thank you guys so much. I cannot wait to chat with you. This is so exciting. I know. We're so excited.
Starting point is 00:27:42 I don't even know where we start, but we'll get into your whole story, but just a little bit about you. So you live here. I've been L.A. almost 20 years. I come from a very small town in rural California. Okay. Who says rural? The country. Rural is a hard word. It's just hard to say. How many vowels do that? This is the appropriate word. My mom as a speech therapist would be very proud of me for pronouncing that correctly. But yeah, I'm from literally a place that couldn't be more different than L.A.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Even though it is California. Most people don't realize how rural California actually is unless you traveled outside of L.A. Yeah. So, yeah, I always wanted to be an actor since I was two years old. I have no idea. why I knew what that meant at two years old, but I told my mom. So I think there was just a performer, a storyteller that was always in me, and it took different forms over my life. I started doing poetry from a young age, short stories, dancing, singing, acting. Yeah, and it just kind of all made sense. And eventually, I was like, I guess I'm going to be an author now, apparently. Okay, well, I read your book yesterday, cover to cover. I just want to gas you up. Like, I love this book so much. You are a really fun writer.
Starting point is 00:28:49 And like, we got this pitch to have you on the show. And I was looking at it. I was like, hush, it's about dicks. Okay. It's going to be like just like a male apologist book or something. It's so much deeper than that. It's so interesting and funny and light and then serious. And I felt myself like feeling a lot of emotions.
Starting point is 00:29:05 I mean, you just, I really want to gas you up. You've done a great job with this book. It's really different. Thank you. Yeah. So how long did the book take to write in total? Actual writing time was, it was six months off and on, but actual writing time was probably less than two months.
Starting point is 00:29:19 I write really, really fast. But this story's been in me for years. So it just pours out of you. And did you find it really therapeutic writing it? Like did you have moments where you write about your dad a lot? You guys. Okay. Do you remember that movie with Diane Keaton?
Starting point is 00:29:34 We love her. RIP. Nancy Meyer's movie, Something's Got to Give. Do you remember the scene where she's like the playwright and she's crying and she's trying to get, that was literally me the whole time? I was like muscling my way through. Yeah. Finishing this thing.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Thank God I had a deadline. because otherwise I would it. That's why I was like, I had to get a publishing deal before I wrote it or else I would not have actually forced myself to do it. Who's holding you accountable? No, seriously.
Starting point is 00:29:58 But like I did not expect so much emotion from this book about like penises. Dix can be very emotional. And like, part of me was like, is it just going to be like, man, I have feelings too. And it was like, oh, here we get it. It was so great. And connected to the stories about your father
Starting point is 00:30:14 and your relationship and we will get into it. But when you were working at the dick clinic, which we should get into how you got it, job there and became like the dick whisperer but were you writing all the stories down as you went okay in fairness because i was already a screenwriter i was already comedian my lens on this whole world already was funny right going in i was like this is insane i am doing i'm a dick fixer dream job for someone like you for sure absolutely for somebody who already was like into dicks and drawing dicks as a kid like for sure for a horny but i was like yeah i would take notes in my notes app i would be like okay that was the craziest shit that ever happened i'm gonna make sure and
Starting point is 00:30:47 remember that. You know what I mean? Like, I had to. I just had to because I was like, something crazy is happening to my life. And I'm going to talk about this and I don't know how. You'd be crazy not to. Yes. I just want to like wrap up a little bit about you. Yeah. So you are sober, married. Yeah. And you're our age. Do you say your age or you? I just turned 44. I know. But thank you for thinking. I'm okay. I'm upset. This is what living in L.A. does you know. That's right. Yeah, there's expectations. Wow. Get it together. And I said a lot of healing. A lot of healing. Listen.
Starting point is 00:31:18 I aspire to look like you in 10 years. I'm getting into you. I know. I'm like, you guys are doing great. You're doing just fine. We're almost there. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:25 So, wait, my last question. Is that your hand on the book? No, but it looks just like that way. There's a picture. It says,
Starting point is 00:31:31 you don't know a dick. Yes. The eye of the dick. That's so funny. The eye of the dick. You said that like it was the tip of the penis. It's actually the letter eye. The letter eye.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Yeah, it's a great book cover. And making a little bit like a bulb chappen. It looks a little bit like a butt plug. You're right, I agree. And it's bold. Okay. So how did that decision get made?
Starting point is 00:31:50 Like you were like, I want to be the hand model. And they were like, sorry, no, you're not qualified. No, my cover designer and I were talking at length, obviously, about what the heck the cover is going to be. I always wanted it to be this very aggressive, like, bold in your face. You're walking by it at a bookstore going, okay, whoa, that thing just screamed at me. I clearly need to look at that. I read it in my living room. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:06 And like, my original idea was to turn the eye into like an exclamation mark or have it be like sad or you know what I mean something. Uh-huh. But then I was like, you know what? I think we just need to grab it. I don't know. And he was like, let me show you. And he made this and I was like, done. And the publishers were like, we love it.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I was like, okay, we're doing it. I love it. It's unapologetic. No, it is. And it's like, listen, you should read it in public, you guys. You should get it, read it on a plane. But it's horny too, the grab. Like it's kind of, it's bold and it's like grab life by the dicks.
Starting point is 00:32:36 One grab at a time. Listen, I don't know. Grab them by the dick, right? We're going to change the narrative. I don't know. Maybe that's all of that. All of it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I want to talk about how you've gone to this job because you were an actress. And you did not say, like, I'm going to go into the medical, like, med spa profession. So, like, how did this happen? No. So if anybody has ever tried to pursue a dream of acting, I was working multiple day jobs always, right? Like, just plenty of things. Friends of mine were, like, we're opening a wellness spa and it's close to your house. And before I was commuting, like, an hour to this day job every day.
Starting point is 00:33:05 I was like, yes, great, perfect. I'll be your office manager. Fantastic. Three months in, they're like, we're never going to make money. We're never going to, like there's a million of these wellness centers. Every strip mall has an anti-aging clinic, right? And so the husband of the duo was like, heard this Joe Rogan podcast. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Of course, because he's that guy. And they were talking about this biohacker. Ben Greenfield went on the podcast talking about this service, this non-invasive solution to rectal dysfunction. No pills, no this, no this, no. Okay. And so he's like, we're going to bring this on. We're going to do it.
Starting point is 00:33:37 And you're our only employee. So you're going to get certified. So crazy. And I was like, folding towels. Go ahead. Yeah. But it's so smart. Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:45 It is very smart. It's a very good business decision. But like it's fine. I look at the receptionist, the office manager. And be like, you'll do it. You're a comedian. Yeah. He's like, you clearly can like talk to anybody, right?
Starting point is 00:33:57 And my background was though, yes. I did have a background in physical therapy though. So I have my degree in college is kinesiology, exercise science, nutrition. So I had worked in spaces that were similar, like adjacent, right? Obviously I was not touching dicks. But I was handling people's bodies in certain ways. And so I think there was just this natural, like, you're going to be able to handle this. And I was like, you're asking me to do something extremely vulnerable, very mature.
Starting point is 00:34:21 You're going to have to pay me more money. I'm not going to make $25 an hour, like fixing dicks. Like, there's no way. That's the most money I think you could ask for, like in anything. Touching Diss. I got to touch strangers' Dicks, 10 Dicks a day. And stay professional and be very kind. And like empathetic.
Starting point is 00:34:36 And like, empathetic. I need to be paid per dick also, bonus. And I was like, give me. So we worked at a deal. going to pay me X amount of money additional per dick. It was like, fantastic, right? And so next thing I know, I'm on a flight to Tucson, Arizona. To train.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Never been to there. Tucson was in a clinic with all these urologists from all around the country. And I'm like, okay, wait, I'm clearly the only like actor slash comedians slash non-medical professional here. And they're taking it so seriously. And I'm like, there's a whole industry for like fixing dicks. Like this is like, they're paying their mortgages from doing this. And I'm like over here like, mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:35:10 giggling like a schoolgirl at like what we're talking about. And we had to do a hands-on portion. Did that surprise you when the model walked out and they were like, here's the dick on the stage? Yes. I was like, of course. I was like, oh, wait, this is real. Like this is going to be now, it's like confronting. You're like, you have to do this because you have to practice in order to get certified. It's not crazy. Can you imagine? By the way, let's like not forget. This is this machine is called shockwave therapy. Yeah. Shockwave on a, like that is not. words you would put together. Totally, right?
Starting point is 00:35:42 Like I wouldn't, you couldn't shockwave my clit. I'm sorry, I don't care. But she also did people with vaginas. I did. And I had my own vagina. Shocked. You was so offended by this conversation.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Okay, can I ask you one question before we continue? Were you like a dick enthusiast? Is that a thing? I probably sure. Yeah, right is, I would say. I love that. I mean,
Starting point is 00:36:01 give me a dick enthusiast. Like, and you not a dick enthusiast because I like dick picks so much and dick videos. All the things. You love dick picks. You love a jerk off video. You like to watch people
Starting point is 00:36:10 jerk off. You like to talk and look at penises. Like I'm a little more like, ooh, a dick. Like, oh, yeah, I do love it. I mean, I love my husband's dick. I don't, I'm not anti-dick, but I, between the two of us, I think. Okay. No, no, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:36:22 You're not like, I don't want to look at a dick. Of course. You just don't want to look at everyone's dick. And I do. And you do. Okay. I would actually unsolicited dick. So where do you fall between the rain and I would say, I would say.
Starting point is 00:36:31 I would say. I love that. I'm probably somewhere in the middle. Okay. Like more people. Yeah. Like if it's like there's a dick, now after having this job, I'm like, yeah, great, there's a dick. Of course there's a dick.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Well, you're looking at them almost medically. Yes, 100%. It's just a body part. Nothing shocks me anymore after that job, like literally when it comes to dicks. Before that, I would say I always love sex. I've always like been like pro dick. Like two dicks in a room, I'm always like, that's a lot to figure out. But like, you know, it's fun.
Starting point is 00:36:59 Yeah. Like, who figured out? No, I really do want to have a three someone to guys. I'm really, I don't know. I've never done that because I always figured like, I don't know how to pay. attention to who way? That's not my problem. I actually know.
Starting point is 00:37:09 I used to connect to like there's so many body parts flying. That's not my problem. I'm here for my enjoyment and you guys can figure it out the air. But that's why it's better because you don't care about them. Yeah. Like if there was a woman in the room, I'd be like, I would be worried about her. But with men, who cares what they stink? Someone I respect was in the room.
Starting point is 00:37:25 I would care about it. If it's two guys, I don't give shit. You're like, figure it out, sword fight. Let's go. Just Ivel towered me. Let's get it. Does any woman in an MMF ever been like, I'm just really concerned if they were feeling included.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Do you feel, do you feel seen? Are you sure? No, we don't care. That's what makes it hot. You guys kiss, okay, already? It's like progressive, like threesomes. They're like, everyone does everyone,
Starting point is 00:37:46 does everyone feel safe? Yeah. That's so true. My one threesome. I was, like, really concerned with her feeling included. And I could not care less of men feel included. I forgot. Like the three sum I had, I forgot he was there.
Starting point is 00:37:56 I was like, oh, yeah, he's, oh. Like, the novelty's me and the girl. I've done this before. I can do this any night. Yeah, you're, like, okay. Stay over in your corner, please. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:05 So you go to the conference, you come back and you're like, this is my job now? This is my job now. And then my dad dies. And it takes a whole other turn, which I didn't want to. We don't have to talk about that yet. But come back two weeks later, have my first client. Well, I think it matters is I think that you healed your relationship. Daddy issues.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Yeah. You mentioned. That's in the subtitle. Yeah. It's the whole thrust of the book in a lot of ways is about that. Your dick puns are off for the sharks. I don't know if you're trying. They never stop.
Starting point is 00:38:34 You've done so. You're reserved though. You have, you know, I think that you do it well. You don't take advantage. But I don't know if you're meaning to. Do you say thrust normally? I don't. It comes out when we're in this.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Like, literally I'll be talking and I'm like, oh, and I catch myself. And I'm like, shit. I'm like, everything is a dick double on top. What do they call it? Yeah. And you had a strained relationship with your father. I did. And he passed.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And you obviously talk about that in the book. Did he know you got this job? No, because he was kind of fading out before I, I got it. Yeah. Right. Okay. So, yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:39:06 So that's not his last, he told him and I didn't know. Yeah. He did not know. Okay. He was not aware. Okay. You're like,
Starting point is 00:39:13 you raised me so poorly. I'm like, by the way, dad, before you die. Dick fixing. I mean, whenever we want to talk about it where it goes in the story, you're welcome to bring it up.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really had to get closure and deal with the issues of their father post-mortem. Yeah. I did. I really did. And it didn't occur to me
Starting point is 00:39:30 how much I was learning about him until kind of the job was over. like with these men, just to give you kind of like the timeline. I go into the job dealing, you know, fresh off the heels of daddy dying, right? And I'm like, I can't handle the grief. I'm going to go to the funny. Literally, he taught me that. He taught me how to deal with hard moments.
Starting point is 00:39:46 You're a comedian. You find the funny. I'm a comedian. Like comedy comes from pain, right? It's this coping mechanism for pain. So as I go into the job, all I'm looking at are the stories I'm getting or the things I'm experienced with these men that are funny. I can't hold any shame.
Starting point is 00:40:00 I'm not looking for it. I'm not seeing it. And a few months in, I'm like, oh shit, something is definitely happening here where I'm witnessing men at their lowest. Like, it didn't even occur to me like erectile dysfunction. Because when I first heard about guys wanting to get their dicks victor preserve their dick life, my immediate thought was like, of course they do. Purves. Right? It was like, gross.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Like, old dudes want to still fuck. Of course they do. Like, that was the perspective I had walking into this. So that's kind of all I was seeing. And then it started like, again, I started seeing the pattern and all these different stories. and, you know, he was a, you know what I mean? Their wife had died and they're trying to get back out there. They don't know how to deal with that.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Their wife thinks that they're cheating because their penis doesn't work and they're trying to prove to her like and they don't want her to know that they're here. And like, I was like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I have a front row seat to male shame to the thing that they are the most terrified of, which is this like, you know, definition of what makes them a man is broken. And I'm like, oh, shit. And so then all of a sudden I started being able to look at them through a different lens and go, oh wow, they are just as like emotional and vulnerable and screwed up as we are as women,
Starting point is 00:41:04 they just can't talk about it. You wrote this line down in the book, men came to me looking for physical solutions to emotional wounds. And I would have the first thought starter that you did, which is like, of course, they want bigger dicks and harder dicks. And I mean, you tell story after story in the book of people whose like partners are being not faithful to them or partners who died and things like that. Yes, a couple of people wanted bigger dicks.
Starting point is 00:41:25 But let's like talk about it a little more. So here's the thing. This service, because it helps blood flow, no matter how big, it's not going to make your dick bigger, but it will make you look fuller or more engorged, right? So you have this feeling of like, oh, I'm at like max capacity now. Okay, I just want to clarify you guys weren't doing penis implants. Not penis enlargement, not penis implant, no. And then can you kind of just explain the machine?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Yeah. So it's literally like a futuristic looking gun. And it sends, so there's this piston inside the chamber. And it goes back and forth and it's. slaps this metal tip that you put on the tissue. Okay. And by the way, it's touching the penis. It's not just the shaft. It's down the groin under the balls on the taint, all the way up the other side. So every single area that services blood flow to the penis to engorge it
Starting point is 00:42:14 was needing to help. We were trying to remove the plaque. So the idea of this is called angiogenesis, right? It causes these little micro traumas from the sound wave just shocking, like boom. And then the body's like, oh, no, there's trauma. Let me go send like healing tissue or healing properties to go fix it. And so it would kind of clean it up, almost like clearing debris out of a river of the blood vessels so that you have more blood flow. What I was taught is 80 to 90% of ED
Starting point is 00:42:37 is a blood flow issue, right? The rest is like psychological. Or, and then sometimes when the physical problem is there, then you stop trusting your dick and then it's, you know what I mean? So there's this feedback all connected. So is it similar to like a microneedling where you're physically touching it with the wand?
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah, it's just not actually going inside the body in any way. This is a completely, that's why I was able to get certified without being a medical professional, right? If you're going to do any kind of injection or anything you need a medical license or degree. So I was able to get certified without that because it's non-invasive. And people have to come several times. So the protocol at the time was six sessions. The device then took about 45 minutes to an hour per session. So very involved, very intimate, or spending lots of time together.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah. I would have to put ultrasound gel on the penis to conduct the signal, which is basically putting lube on a dick that is. not for pleasure. That's the whole story I tell. It's like, how do you? No, I want to talk about it because you are, I mean, you're a beautiful woman. You come in the room. I wonder if those guys were like, fuck yes or fuck no.
Starting point is 00:43:39 It was split. Now they're like, oh, this is so weird. My dick works now. Many men were hard the moment I would pull the sheet down. And because we would have them wear numbing cream in order to help, like, reduce the snap of the, like, machine, they would wear it for an hour before. So like, you know how like, I've done looking at direct. not mean for, oh my God. Like, you're like, I kind of fill my face, right? Same thing. So there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:44:02 desensitization already happening. So a lot of them didn't even know they were hard. And they're laying down on a treatment table, clearly not making eye contact with me or their dick. Sure. They don't know they're hard. And so like, sometimes I'd get guys who would be like complaining. Like, I don't know if this is working. And I'm literally holding their erect dick. And I'm kind of like, oh, oh, I guess it is. Isn't that kind of good? Because isn't, yes. They're like, wait, do I even need to be here? Okay. So six treatments and then is that the long term supposed to be forever or you come back in? It depends on.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Laser hair removal thing. Yeah, no, it's a good question. It depends on their health, like in general. Like if they have high cholesterol, if they have diabetes, they have preexisting conditions that are impacting their blood flow, they're going to have to come back more often. So they would tell us like this treatment will last about 18 months and then you might start seeing differences. Got it.
Starting point is 00:44:46 But we would send them home with homework like a penis pump to use regularly. I always tell people, penis pump is like cardio for your dick. It forces blood flow into the penis to help clear the debris. every man especially if you're over 40 I'm just gonna say it needs a penis pump what and should be using it regularly I just I thought it was an aesthetic thing it's really helps it's like functional
Starting point is 00:45:05 it's preventive care I'm gonna order one yes not that Shoshchuk has any issues no but I'm telling you it's like it's like preventative Botox I started Botox at 28 I did not need it 100% and now I don't have wrinkles I know you guys are looking at my face now like you can move your face and tomorrow we're going to get Botox okay we're gonna take a quick break and we'll get right back into
Starting point is 00:45:24 with Christina I'm telling you guys about bioptimizers. I first discovered this company right after I got surgery a couple years ago. And I was just like waking up in the middle of the night. I was super uncomfortable. Like my heart was racing. My mind was racing. I just couldn't get back to sleep.
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Starting point is 00:46:06 So this has been heavily researched and it's not just one type of magnesium. So it's an all in one magnesium complex. There's seven different forms working together to support sleep, stress, energy, and recovery. So it's just something good you can do for your body, you guys. If you're ready to finally sleep great and feel like yourself again, head to bioptimizers.com slash gGE and use our exclusive code gge to get 15% off any order. You'll get great discounts, free gifts, and the peace of mind of never running out. And bioptimus backs it with a 365 day, no questions asked, money back, guarantee a full
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Starting point is 00:47:06 There's silk skirts. No, Raina. There's silk skirts for summer are unbelievable. Here's what I'm obsessed with. I feel like we've never talked about with them. Dresses to wear to weddings. Look at these. Could you die?
Starting point is 00:47:16 Look at these right there. $80 that blue. Why is that blue dress, like the exact dress before that I wore the wedding? Yes. So the Bianca stretched satin dress in this beautiful blue $80. The Catalina stretch satin dress also $80. And like a butter yellow. Their butter yellow is perfect.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Oh, it's gorgeous. Are you guys hearing me? That light blue, I've never gotten more compliments on that. I know. And butter yellow. These are like blind spots, I think people talk about like dresses to wear to other people's weddings. It could be like so annoying, so frustrating. Like where do you get them from?
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Starting point is 00:50:14 help you basically like foods, less alcohol, more sleep. Like what was the other spiel? I called it penis boot camp. Okay. I put my clients through what I call it. Because I used to be a personal trainer and my background with all this health stuff, I'm like, all right, look,
Starting point is 00:50:24 if this is like a blood flow issue, if this is high cholesterol, you've got to clean up your lifestyle. Like, it's only going to benefit your circulation and your whole body, especially there. And what I was taught is that oftentimes ED is a precursor for heart disease because the blood vessels are so much smaller.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Right. So they start to fill up with plaque first. And usually within, I think the stat was like within three years, you're going to have a heart attack or heart problem if you don't change your lifestyle. So it's like a warning sign. Like I have this thing in there's like your dick is trying to save your life.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Like pay attention. Like come on. You know, so yeah. And what was like the age range of people that came in? Oh my gosh. Honestly, I had clients young as 18 and as old as 80. And the average of course was in 50s and 60s. Right.
Starting point is 00:51:06 But there were like a lot of other reasons guys like motorcycle accidents, sex accidents, which had a lot of questions about that. One of our first episodes was a guy that broke his day. Brogous dick. I mean, it happens. It happens. And people don't realize that. they've been through it, right?
Starting point is 00:51:20 Yeah. A lot of my clients, there's, if they had scar tissue on one side because of an injury because of something else, they'd have Peroni's disease, right? Which is where like it bends one way or the other. It's actually pretty common. Doesn't that feel kind of good? I mean, don't you have experience with them? It depends on how you're shaped.
Starting point is 00:51:37 Because a lot of us are crooked too. We also have a crooked, right? You're like, oh, I'm crooked. So it was like. Hooked towards his stomach. Yeah. When it was inside of me, it felt nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I can probably hook different. Exactly. It can bend different ways. A hundred percent. Yeah, I've seen it all. So when someone would come in, do you always talk with them at length? Or do people come in and they don't want to talk, just fix me? Or is it there, you've seen it all?
Starting point is 00:52:00 I've seen it all. I credit my acting background to teaching me how to sort of adjust my energy and personality for different people in front of me, playing moments off of them. Often, if they were really rigid and kind of like uptight at first, we would crack at some point, right? They would cry because I make them feel safe. And like, for me, I don't want to feel awkward in the room. So I'm like trying to find my way in like what do they need from me so that they can feel safe as possible so that I can like help them the best way. And what typically was that?
Starting point is 00:52:27 Humor disarms people, right? Asking them about them being super curious. I would do a lot of self-deprecating humor of like, oh my gosh, so many guys like, oh, we see. Making them just feel like this is normal. Normal. And it is. I remember feeling like halfway through the job, I started getting so frustrated that nobody understood about sexual dysfunction. and the taboo topic, the shame around it.
Starting point is 00:52:49 And I started feeling this conviction to normalize the conversation, which here we are with a book. And like that's my MO because I'm like, I know for me, if I feel like something's wrong with me that's like so shameful and nobody's talking about it, like I don't want to feel that. How do I normalize what I'm going through? And it's like you look at other people. They're like, I remember watching, I first started seeing like Brunei Brown.
Starting point is 00:53:09 And she was so just like, guys, I'm human and I'm such a mess. And I'm like, she has a microphone and a platform and she's talking about how messy she is. So I was like, why aren't we all? doing that. You know what I mean? Just being honest about, and a lot of my book is about the messy middle. We are human. We are so flawed. And like, let's just embrace that. Right. So I tried to do that with them in the room so that they could feel safe to open up. And it would work. And it was amazing. I mean, I meet men that like culturally had like a lot of blocks with speaking to a woman. Like, I had this one of my very most funny stories as a guy from Pakistan. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:53:42 okay, he's like, my wife cannot know that I ever came to see you. And I'm like, okay, totally fair. Why would I ever tell her? I never even meet these wives most of the time. Legally, I can't tell your wife. Yeah. And I was just like, you know, and then it was like he didn't want to tell me, and all of a sudden a couple sessions in, he's like, well, we're having a really hard time having. And I started to learn that, oh, she was very domineering and he's like a submissive man and he doesn't really speak up for himself. And I'm like, well, normally your penis doesn't work. Like, you don't, you're emasculated in this marriage. And like, I don't know why that's happening, but and I was like, well, you know kind of what a strong woman really likes, right? Like, she wants you to like make
Starting point is 00:54:16 the decisions. Take that off her plate. Like I just started like saying weird therapy shit that I didn't know what the hell I was saying. But it felt right. And he tried it. And he came back and he's like, it worked. It worked. And we had sex. I go, what? And your penis worked? She's like yeah. And I go, uh-huh. And I'm like, so he's telling me this one story, you guys. And then one of the craziest shit that ever happened in my time. And so imagine this man. He's coming off this victory. He's so excited. I'm so excited. I feel like a winner. I'm like, this is my greatest success. Like I got him to have sex with his wife. This is fantastic. And then a little fly starts buzzing around his penis in the middle of the session.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Wait, serious? This isn't a metaphor? This is a real fly decided to join us. And it's like, I'm holding his penis, right? And he's just like talking happily about his success. And the gel's on his penis. The gel is super sticky. And I'm having this machine.
Starting point is 00:55:00 It's doing this. And I'm like, oh, you fucking, don't you fucking dare land on his dick. Don't you do this to him. I can't have this right now. And of course it does. And it lands. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does.
Starting point is 00:55:09 This is like that debate with Mike Pence and the fly. And you're watching it and you're like, if that fly lands on Mike Pence's head when he's, It's over. Remember that was like the most famous. Yes. Yes. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:55:18 It lands. And then half of its body is like stuck in the gel and it's trying to get away. And it's doing this. It's stuck in the gel? Do I kill it on the dick? Do I smash it? Do I zap it? Do I smack the dick?
Starting point is 00:55:31 Like I don't know what to do, right? And I'm like, oh my God, but I got to like, the fly is miserable. He's, I. And I'm. Are people laid down? They're laying on a medical table like flat on their back. Okay. Looking up at the sky, trying not to ever make eye contact with me.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Right. I bet the machine would a zap the fly. Like one of those fly swatters? Totally. It totally would have been. Those rackets. Electrocuted. I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Yes, exactly. Those are like, oh my God. I love those. Yes. And so I was like, all right, Christina. Just like, whatever. So I try to like kind of like, but I don't want him to feel me. Like it was a very complicated situation.
Starting point is 00:56:01 What are you doing? And looking and then he's like, there's a fly on my day. I can't have that. It'll go right back down to the shame world. And I was like, we're not doing this. So I like lightly smash it and it. And it rolls down onto his ball. And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:56:12 he doesn't have numbing cream on his balls. Now what do I do? And I'm like, okay, I'm going to try to like flick it. Like, it was, I was like sweating. How do you flick a fly but not hit the ball? Like that is skill. Like, that is skill. And I was like, I somehow, I was like, and like, maybe they'll make a noise.
Starting point is 00:56:34 It was. You copped? We saved the day. He did not, he was never aware that there was a fly on his dick at all. Just a gel covered fly on his ball. Oh, the stickiest grossest. It was so, it was amazing. This poor man.
Starting point is 00:56:47 This poor man. He'll never know. I love what you said about normalizing. That's what anybody wants. I mean, that's why it's really women. When we go to the gynecologist, something's off, you want to know that this is so normal. Everyone has HPV. You know, like little things like that.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Everyone. I think that is everyone's biggest fear is to feel like something is abnormal with their body. And of course, in their sex life, their desires, all of that too. But just like something's wrong with me. And so probably once you tell men that so many people are coming in and out, like this is nothing. and I see this all day every day, they're probably immediately disarmed. Exactly. And that's the thing that you, you know, again, because men don't talk to each other about these things,
Starting point is 00:57:26 let alone their wives or girlfriends. Yeah. They go to the doctor and their doctor's like, mom, here's a pill. I was talking to this woman the other day. She's like, well, my husband has a D and he went to the doctor and he just said, well, you probably have it because you're married. And I was like, boredom. What?
Starting point is 00:57:40 Yeah, like the doctor. He diagnosed him with boredom. The doctor's like, you're probably just bored of you in your marriage. And I was like, that is so, this is like. the perfect example of the problem. When men go to seek help from this and they go to the urologist, the doctor, a lot of urologists, I'm not saying all of them, have antiquated information. They literally just prescribe medicine and tell them to go about their day. They're not fixing the source of the problem. They're not dressing the psychology. It's just get out of my office.
Starting point is 00:58:04 That might be true, but there's so much more nuance. It's not like it's false information, but when you deliver it is like this is the problem with no solution or context. And no business jumping into that. What's the solution supposed to be? You're only here. right right take a take a take of up take the show you should probably just get a mistress and so much of men's identity and self-horse comes from their penis but I do like I understand it because like my whole life I had these like giant tits and they were amazing and I it was my whole personality it was wrapped around your identity yeah and I got a breast reduction they were too big I got a second one and he botched the second boob job and I had like a botched left breast like it just it was like flat on the side the
Starting point is 00:58:41 scar like healed really badly and I just was like it never even occurred to me like talked to anybody about this like a doctor. I was just like, this is embarrassing. This is just kind of how I'm going to look for the rest of my life. And it wasn't until like another nurse heard me talking about it with Ashley that she was like, oh, this happens. And I know what this is called. But like I was so embarrassed with how my body looked. Of course. And this is a thing I took a lot of self-worth from. Yes. My sexuality and how I look naked and I'm so proud of it. And I was just like, this has changed my identity, how I look naked now. And like it was so embarrassing to talk about and I never would have talked about it. And that's crazy because we do a whole show about your body and how you feel in
Starting point is 00:59:15 your body. Yeah. And so I'm sure these men even more so, because I'm a woman, it's easy for me to talk about it. Sure. These men are like, I don't, who am I going to tell about this? Who am I going to tell? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:59:24 And just in general, like the most vulnerable you are is when you're naked with somebody. Yes. And the performance, right? Men are expected like, we, you can't really. It's like, okay, we get wet or we don't, whatever. But it's like, we're there. It's like, there's no outward expression of whether or not we're can function for sex. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:59:40 They are like, it's like, oh, if you don't get hard, we don't have sex. I like can't imagine it. I feel for men on this. I know. Because if I am not as lubricated as I typically am, I'm in my head. And that's also so fixable. Like this isn't like me. I never need lube.
Starting point is 00:59:56 What's happening? Yeah. But it's an easy fix. Yeah. We sell great lubs, you guys. That's right. But with the guy, that's it. If you can't perform, he actually is in charge of how this is going to go.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Yep. So we love to talk to you even about that today. Yeah. We had a urologist on years ago. Rina Malik. Greenamallick, and ED is on the rise in general, and you already discussed that it's blood flow or psychological or both, and it's cyclical. And I think a lot of women don't know what to do in these situations.
Starting point is 01:00:26 And we've hammered this home as much as we can. We've even had men on to discuss this, that it has nothing to do with how hot you are, mostly, you know, especially if this is you're somebody you've already had sex with, you're in a relationship with, whatever, like kind of one-night stands excluded, but women take it personally and it's not always about that. And so do you have tips for even just handling that with a partner in the bedroom and what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do? Yeah. I mean, I think it's, it's so much of it is, again, it's like, it starts with a conversation, right? It's like, how do we make them feel safe enough to actually talk about this with us?
Starting point is 01:01:01 Like, rather than internalizing it and making it, like, blaming ourselves, right? It's like, where can we find the middle ground of going like, hey, how can I help you? Is there something I can do to help you rather than like, oh my God, like, am I, like, you're not attracted. Like, I went through that before. Don't be wrong. Like, during this job. I think we all have when we were younger to, especially you hyper-personalize it. How could you not in the moment? I know. And there's a whole systemic thing about women. Like, you know, it's like always our fault, right? We're not pretty enough, young enough, you know, all the things. And I don't know how like your average age of your audience, but a lot of women haven't had to come up against this yet. And, like, once you get to
Starting point is 01:01:36 that place, it's like, oh, I didn't think this was going to happen to me. It is really a lot more prevalent actually. No, we're seeing it younger and younger. Yes, especially because, like the anxiety generation drug use, like not in pharmaceutical drug use, right? There's so many things that can be caught that can be implicated. Just growing up with so much. Densitized, dopamine problems from screen time, all the things, right? There's so many reasons. And so I think, again, like, it starts with the conversation of like, how do we create a safe space where we can actually talk about this. Yeah. There are so many different things you can do before medication, depending on what's going on. There's also, like I said, you know, the penis bootcams like lifestyle, like getting, you know, a penis pump,
Starting point is 01:02:16 making sure you're working out, making sure you have circulation in your body happening in general, right? So it's not to say it's all on the guy. I think if you're in a relationship, it's both people. It's like how do we both support each other through this, right? And instead of focusing on the shame of it, focus on the solution. I like to be a solution-oriented person. I don't want to focus on how do we fix this, not like what, let's wallow in all the sadness about it. So again, I'm not a medical expert. I always tell everybody I'm not a medical professional. I just know what I saw and I just know what I witnessed.
Starting point is 01:02:45 So the people understand like the volume. You were seeing 10 decks a day, five days a week for a year. Yeah. At the P. Look, here's the thing. 10 a day? 10 a day. Dude, it was exhausting.
Starting point is 01:02:56 The thing is. So we were one of the first clinics, if not the first clinic in L.A. to do the service. And I'm talking like in all of like Southern California. Like it was very new. We were, I called the Wild West of Dick Fixing because we were still figuring out what we were doing in general in our clinic, let alone, like, no, people were flying in from other states to see me.
Starting point is 01:03:14 What a fun time. They were driving down from other counties. Like, it was crazy. And so at the peak, I was working 50 hours a week on Dix. When I tell you, my neck, my, my, like, because it's like literal construction. It's like manual labor. This thing sounds like a jackhammer. It's so aggressive.
Starting point is 01:03:31 They're probably better now. She was the office manager. I was answering phones. I was trying to be an actor. I know. She gets here. Like, I am an actress. I will answer.
Starting point is 01:03:39 her phones here for a couple of months. I would go home every night and be like, what am I doing with my life? By the way, we will, if people are wondering, we will get to your relationship at the time and like how that affected your relationship. Oh my God, we're so much more to cover. Yeah, I wanted to just qualify for people to understand the volume of dicks you were seeing. There weren't many clinics doing it outside of the headquarters in Florida, right?
Starting point is 01:03:57 That sort of trained us on this protocol. Of course it was Florida. All the retirees. Let's go. So we were like learning every day how to do this. And we had an incredible marketing team. Like the guy's background was marketing, the owner of the clinic. So if nothing else, we were great at getting people to the clinic. And then I had to sort of, as the only technician, once we got so, so busy, I mean, my neck and my arm, like, everything was in pain all the time, all of it.
Starting point is 01:04:20 I was hurting all the time. And I was like, what am I doing here? But we started trying to train people. And it was really tough to get another person who could handle this, even nurses, who you're like, oh, you're a nurse. Like, you're trained to see crazy shit. No, they were like, I don't think I can do this. And they would bail.
Starting point is 01:04:35 And so it was like, and I felt very protective over my clients at certain. point where I was like, okay, not just anyone's going to walk in here and do this. You need to have a certain personality. You need to like, I've like kind of set this bar of how you're going to behave, what you're going to talk about. And if you can't like do that, you're not going to work here. You know what I mean? So it was insane how much I was. And so by the time I left, I looked at like my client roster and I remember clocking the number and I was like, I worked on over 400 dudes. Like in a year. Like that's so many different ticks. Attached to so many different. problems and stories and shame and it was crazy.
Starting point is 01:05:13 I mean, the amount of people that just walk in every single day, like with their baggage. Like, and I'm like, uh-huh, like just, like I had to get like things accomplished and hold their stories and remember.
Starting point is 01:05:24 And like it was so incredible. It changed my life, but it was also extremely exhausting. I was tired all the time. I want to ask you about people that like walked in. You talk about people that walk in with like a real sense of like bravado. Oh, chest puffed out.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Oh, Like, can you talk about that a little bit and how you kind of got to the group of what was going on? Which, like, for me, you know, given, like, my dad was very much that guy, right? He was, like, very proud and very, like, arrogant. And so I was trained to deal with men like that from birth, right? I was like, oh, here we are. Here we are again. I wasn't really aware that there was something they were covering until I was in this job.
Starting point is 01:06:01 You know, you see guys, like, okay, big, big truck, small dig or, like, the kind of typical stuff that, like, as women we would make fun of with men, like, trying to, like, front or whatever. But this was so different, right? So, like, they come in and it's like, like, sometimes they'd see me and they'd be like, mm-mm, her, no, she's not treating me. And I'm like, dude, it's L.A. I don't know. I'm the only one. Because you're attractive woman? Yeah, like, I think they were expecting, like, some, like, a grandma that, like, they could feel like they're just being, like, nannied by. And it was a little less emasculated by the situation. Yeah. And so I'd get the, like, uncomfortable questions, like, so, what's your boyfriend think of you doing this or your husband? Like, oh, I don't know if I could be with someone who fixes
Starting point is 01:06:38 digs all day. Like just absolute, just peacocking, like deflecting, like, deflecting, trying to put up the front. Like, I know I'm here for my broken dick, but I'm still like better than this, you know? Like, they didn't want to allow the reality of what they were, was happening to exist in that room together. That is crazy. You were someone they would fuck.
Starting point is 01:06:56 So it's like, that's the problem. Like, they wanted some like older German lady. Yes. Yes. Like, doesn't speak English. So they can have that disconnect. Not a younger woman who like really puts all their problems. in front of them. They're like, you are the person I'm getting this fixed for. Yes. Yes. So it took,
Starting point is 01:07:13 it took time and it took work for me to also like get my ego checked because as soon as I would encounter a guy like that, I'm like, fuck you. Like you're my dad. Like I'm going to destroy you. I'm going to be more powerful or whatever it was, right? Because I didn't want them to be in control of me and control of the conversation. Right. And so here I am like, at any moment I could shock your ball and hurt you. Would you say that? I have that kind of bring the, no. No. No, I'm like, no, what I mean. I'm saying, like, I knew internally that, like, I held the power in the room. But how did you even deal with those things you were saying? Like, that, I'm immediately triggered. I don't have the patience or, like, to handle that. Like, I want to clap back.
Starting point is 01:07:51 Exactly. Exactly. So how do you, like, deal with that? Yeah. I think I had to just swallow a lot of, like, words and bite my tongue. I will say, though, in credit to, like, the situation, those behaviors didn't last long. This is, like, so funny, I talk about this in the book. the big reveal moment. So what I would do is I would provide them this medical drape. It was like a big sheet, right? And I'd say, okay, like, go and take your pants off, whatever, and like lay down, put the drape over you.
Starting point is 01:08:16 Now, the drape is always folded. And so you kind of like at the gun and call, you just have to open up the robe and, like, put it on, right? The paper drape, right? It's so ugly and gross, but we have to do it. And so they would, a lot of times guys would not open it up and they would just keep this little square on top of the penis. And they would lay down, and I was like, oh, God.
Starting point is 01:08:31 Or they'd open it once over it. And then other guys would get it and they'd open it to, like, put a sheet on. So then there was like, I talked them through what I was going to do. I would give them, you know, the whole rundown. And then I would do the big reveal of seeing their dick for the first time. They didn't. The big reveal. And there's no way, even though I never said that, there's no way they weren't like,
Starting point is 01:08:48 she's seeing my dick. You know what I mean? And I was like, here we go. And I'm going to learn a whole lot about you without ever saying a word, right? Because I'm going to see what your dick looks like. The saxophone start playing louder. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Did you play music in the room? Oh, yeah. Okay. Of course, like spa like music. No, she has. sound effects. Burr-p-p-r-p-r-r-h. And now coming down to the sad trombone.
Starting point is 01:09:11 Exactly. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it, Tesla. Yeah. It's like announcing a boxer's entrance to like the ring. Like I'm just like coming out of the close. Three and a half hard.
Starting point is 01:09:20 Three and a half hard. Yeah. The guy that came up in the in the cyber truck. That's right. Of course he did. You just like, oh, good. Hey, Siri, can you change it to this blue? Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Tell us the direct correlation between cyber trucks and small dicks. because I'm sure it's direct. Unfortunately, for me, I try really not to think. I see it and I just immediately I'm like, oh, come on, dude. Like, really? Like, don't advertise to us. Okay, but you do talk about this guy who came in who was particularly unpleasant and not nice and he had a micropenus.
Starting point is 01:09:51 He was, so that's why I would ask you. He had an inverted penis. Okay. Is Big Dick energy real in terms of a big, nice cock and a confident, normal dude, as opposed to the, also we're talking about problems with their dick, so size is also involved. Like, a lot of these guys who could be insecure about what's actually going on with the dick, but I'm just curious about those guys that act like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Did it correlate to smaller penises and were bigger dick guys a little cooler? So here's what I'll say, because I'm meeting them flaccid most of the time. Which you never know what they're going to do. Right. It could be a shower or a grower. We don't know. We don't know. I hooked up with the guy once.
Starting point is 01:10:29 I thought it was my first micro penis. the way he got fully hard, I was like, we need more loop. Like, I've never seen it in my life. I did a whole bit about it. It's crazy, right? I had the opposite thing happen. I saw one of the biggest sticks I've ever seen in my life.
Starting point is 01:10:40 I was like, this is my dream. And I had only ever seen it in like videos and photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we had texts and then it went back to normal. Watching it just deflating the other way. I was like, oh, no. It can get that small. That's crazy.
Starting point is 01:10:54 I can't believe. It's how we function. It's like fucking mind. It's crazy. I know. So it's just, you can, you know nothing. by a flaccid penis. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:11:03 Right. Unless it's huge flaccid, of course. No, we, I was, I was like, I can't believe it's still going. It's just shrinking. It's just, how did that go to that? It's great. What I will say, because again, I was meeting men with like mostly flaccid, right? There were some that got erect, of course, but mostly flaccid.
Starting point is 01:11:18 I will say, I cannot correlate size of dick to size of man. Some of the smallest, littleest men have the giant, this like sausage just Yeah. And a short came with a big dong. And a giant man with like, where did it go? When you see a guy that's like 6-4 and it does not match. I know. I know.
Starting point is 01:11:41 It's the stature. You're like, it is big. It's not big on you. That's right. No, not always. Yeah. It's, listen. Sometimes it's just literally not big.
Starting point is 01:11:49 I had a 6-4 guy that he was so small. Wait, tall skinny guys usually are slang and big dicks. There's a lot of those. I definitely saw a lot of those. Any other patterns? The other pattern I saw was body, fat and ball size. Balls get bigger and fatter?
Starting point is 01:12:04 Yeah. They're just elephant. When you're bigger? Yes. Oh my God. You know what I'm dying? You know, it post dates to you. Like what OZempic is doing to penises?
Starting point is 01:12:12 Oh yeah. I wasn't in the clinic when I wasn't in all. So this is by the way to people on 2018? It's 2018. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. During the Me Too movement.
Starting point is 01:12:19 What a time. Which was fascinating to be like world is bastardizing men, which I had a lot of my own stories. And yet I'm in witnessing this entirely different side of them. So it was a real mind fuck for me. But could you feel? feel men being a hyper aware of not wanting to come off creepy? I would say that in general, because of just what we were doing, there was like,
Starting point is 01:12:40 there was only one guy that was super creepy. Really? One dude, and he only had one session and he never came back. He literally leaned up on his elbows the whole time. And he's like, you're doing a really good job. Like watching me and I was like, but he shouldn't be allowed to come back. No, he wasn't. Did you ever fire anybody?
Starting point is 01:12:54 No, he wasn't allowed to come back. I had moments where I wanted to. It was very rare. I will say. out of the 400. I had maybe two people where I was like, I don't really like working with this guy, but it's,
Starting point is 01:13:04 it's just because he's weird, but it's not like I feel, they were all so humbled by what was going on. There was no way. So it was, again, it was another way for me to be able to be in this situation with men
Starting point is 01:13:15 where they didn't have an out to be an asshole. I was like, oh yeah, your dick is broken in my hand. What are you, like, what are you going to do? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:13:23 So it was such a rare moment for me as a woman to be in that situation and learn what I did. Wow. Yeah. And then for the most part, did this really work? I mean, did you have guys coming back in their last session and they're so happy and working and things are.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Oh, I got like cards from wives, flowers. Like, I met girlfriends that I was not. Like, I've had a couple women watch sessions. I was like, this is, I'm literally working on your partner's penis while you, this is not how I imagined my threesome. Like, you know what I mean? So, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:52 Like it was, it was like changing their lives. It was crazy. So I would say the majority of people all, it worked. It did something for them. That's amazing. It was only people who had like severe health conditions. It was most of those guys, we didn't even take them as clients because we don't want to waste their money. Right.
Starting point is 01:14:06 It wasn't fair. But yeah, it really did work. It was incredible. You wrote this thing. I want to unpack this like thought starter with you. You said I learned that men could hurt the same way that we do and women can hurt men with the same precision. And I think that we just forget sometimes that like men can go through the same stuff that women can go through and they can hurt the way that we can. But I was hoping you could like maybe speak on that a little bit and maybe even like related to like Jack and Veronica.
Starting point is 01:14:28 Yeah. Yeah, no, I'll bring that up. So I, you know, growing up with a complicated alcoholic verbally abusive father, I'm just going to throw that all out there in one sentence, taught me men weren't safe in general. Like I did not have a good first impression. So I either dated men just like him, like assholes, jerks, abusive men. Or I went for like the guy who was like the beta dormat guy who was like, oh, I feel in control of this. He's never going to hurt me.
Starting point is 01:14:51 This is good. And those were the two opinions I had of men. I was like, a benefit in two categories. That was it. I was very black and white. I get into this job, I had this client, Jack, comes in all peacocking, totally like, my wife and I have an open relationship, like, you know, and I was like, am I supposed to be turned on by that? Like, I didn't know what he was, like, I was like, are you trying to pull me into this?
Starting point is 01:15:10 Because I'm not into this. And I call him Jack. And then turns out a couple sessions later, he admits to me that his wife's actually just having an affair with a man that, and he's not doing anything. And he's calling it an open relationship to make himself feel better. But it's really just like this affair. And I'm like, well, aren't you supposed to be dating to if you're, and he's like, I've never hooked up with anybody. And I'm like, now it all makes sense. Why he was peacocking, why he had to cover. And then I just saw the broken boy. I saw the broken man on my table, right?
Starting point is 01:15:36 And so it was, it was so weird for me. And then she came in, right? He was going to stop sessions and go work. I connected him to a sex therapist. He was going to go work on his marriage. She ends up coming in with him one session and was like going to get a treatment of her own and wanted to, he wanted her to be in the room with him. They had like repaired things. And so she's in the room. Is that allowed? You can bring a guest? Hey. Your wife, I guess. I mean, And apparently we were, we were rewriting the rules every day. You guys, there was no pamphil. There was no HR department.
Starting point is 01:16:04 Like, we didn't know. Like, we didn't know what we were doing. So she was like, you could bring a guest. Right. Bring a fence. I'm like, I'm an actress. I didn't know what I was doing.
Starting point is 01:16:14 I'm like, great, you got to come to this. Get me on Instagram stories. Let's go live. Like, oh my God. Hashtag digs. She's like, do you have the right angle. Get it up. That's right.
Starting point is 01:16:21 Yeah, that's right. It was so insane. Yeah. Let's face time. Shock them back to life. So she's in there. and she's literally on her phone the whole time, not even looking up.
Starting point is 01:16:30 And he's like, babe, babe, see? Like, this is Christina. Like, it's so cool. I'm so happy you're meeting her. See, I told you, babe, babe. Like, this poor guy, he's, like, clearly looking for attention. She's not giving it to him at all. She could give a fuck about him.
Starting point is 01:16:40 I could just see it. I'm like, wherever she is is not here. Right. Right. And then it was, like, her turn. And so, like, that was the first time where I was like, oh, my God, women can be villains just like men. Like, they can hurt.
Starting point is 01:16:52 Like, he was clearly hurting. And it broke my heart. And it made me see my parents. in a very different way. And the lack of attention my mom was giving my dad. And now he was trying to be like, hey, look at me. You know, and we're just, and so it flipped the script for me. And I started going like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold
Starting point is 01:17:11 like guys are just little boys. They're trying to just get their, right, get attention the way we are. They just do it in different ways. And it really changed the way I see men completely after that. And there were so many examples like that through the clinic that I saw. It was crazy. I mean, we can sympathize. empathize with men all day.
Starting point is 01:17:28 Broken men typically cause harm to the world, to women, to their children, to whatever they do. I'm not going to get too bleak with it. So that's the issue I have. And so, of course, but we need them to work on it so they stop causing so much harm. Like, that's where I think women have a lot of this lack of sympathy because it's like women with issues don't cause harm the way that men do. Right. But I still, like, it's an important discussion to have.
Starting point is 01:17:51 We can't just completely invalidate their experiences. Exactly. And I think, and this is like a bold swing. for me to say, but I do think there's still like a responsibility on us to make them feel safe to be able to do that. Right? We can't be so like anti-men and so against them that they're like, yeah, go heal in solidarity, like go figure it out by yourselves. Like we still have to be like, if you do, we're here, right? We're not abandoning you just because we're so, we have a generational, like, multi-generational anger issue with them. And I, because I get it, I come from that. But now I'm like,
Starting point is 01:18:23 now I'm starting to see this from a different light. I'm like, okay, now what is my responsibility woman knowing this truth that I've discovered, knowing this information. How do I participate in their healing rather than just being like, well, we'll be here when you're ready. Right? It's an interesting take. Yeah. And you did a lot of good in the world. You know, like, I think that's the take away from the book too. Well, that's the way you write about it. A lot of men. I mean, I really initially was like, is this going to be like really a male apologist to you like and it's just not. You don't write about it like that. You just are like they have the same experience as us. It's a messy middle.
Starting point is 01:18:56 To Ashley's point, you know, a lot of that manifests in a way that, like, people become like your father. Yes. And that harms the other people in their life. But I think the way you talk about it isn't like, we should feel bad for them. It's just like these stories exist. Yeah. And there's hope. And they can, most hopefully of them can be rehabilitated if they want to be.
Starting point is 01:19:15 Yeah. So what happened with Jack and Veronica? Or read the book, you guys. So, well, read the book. I did treat her and I really wanted to, like, not treat her. And just, I was like so angry with her because I felt protected. of him. I had seen the little boy. I had seen the hurting in our private sessions. And now I'm like witnessing the woman. But I'm like, it made me really go, there's two truths. There's,
Starting point is 01:19:36 there's multiple, I don't know her story. I don't know her experience with him at home. And you don't know how he's treated her to push her to a point. All of that, right? So it's sort of, it just opened my eyes that it's like there's no way that I can only be all for women all the time. Like it's, it's situational. There's nuance, right? There has to be nuance these days. We have to bring that back into the conversation. So it just, that was like the first time that I was like, can I hold two truths and live in a messy middle? It's like the only way we can really function.
Starting point is 01:20:02 You're right. There's context and nuance to everything. And I had a friend who would shop this story around a lot that her ex ghosted her. And she would just really like gas everybody up about how terrible he was. Can you believe this? He woke up a more and just fucking left me. The truth of the story. The man they were in therapy.
Starting point is 01:20:17 He was an individual therapy. I know he tried to work on this and talk to about this half a dozen times. and when the information wouldn't get through, then yes, one day he woke up and said, I'm leaving. But there's so much nuance in context to that. Yeah. It paints him in this horrible light, but it's not the truth of the story. And that truth exists too with other relationships.
Starting point is 01:20:38 Men do just wake up with no warning and do that shit. Yeah. You know, when the women are the victim. Totally. But let's maybe wrap up with your relationship at the time. I think a lot of people, I mean, it's the same question, Ashley and I get when people are like, what are your partners feel about you guys being comedians?
Starting point is 01:20:52 Like, so I'm sure you get this question a lot, but you were in a relationship, a long-time relationship. What did he think about it? What was that relationship like? Yeah. So that was, it was a very long relationship we were in. It was total of seven years. We were all together before the job. He was very supportive of me.
Starting point is 01:21:08 Like, he was very secure in a lot of ways. Like he was, thankfully, we were talking about earlier, like he was a very secure guy. But we weren't having sex. So I was in a sexless relationship while I'm talking about dick fixing sex positivity, trying to get people to have sex again, and I'm having no sex in my life. Just for any specific reason? Well, see, I didn't know. It had nothing.
Starting point is 01:21:31 You would be like, oh, did he have E.D? And it's like, no. He just, I examined this thoroughly in the book because I don't know exactly what started this, but this had already been going on for a while. And I'd be like, are you gay? Like, am I just not attractive anymore? Like, I went through the gamut because sex has always been very important to me. Number one, like, I'm like, it's how I communicate and have fun.
Starting point is 01:21:52 This is like, how are we not going to have this in a long-term relationship? And for him, I think what I witness is a man who was a boy coming into his manhood. We were in our early 30s. But like, he, the stresses of life got to him so bad, the responsibility of like paying bills and like, oh, my God, I'm in a relationship. And we have dogs and one of them has epilepsy and like, oh, and it's just like, I think it put him so in his head that he couldn't connect to his body. Like he's the kind of guy that would not have a stress outlet would not be sex. That's my stress outlet. We were different, right, in that regard.
Starting point is 01:22:22 And so I was just watching this and like, but it hurt me. Like it was like something was wrong with me. And it made me feel like such a hypocrite at work all the time because I'm like, you had sex. I'm so happy for you. Fuck. You know what I mean? So we went through a lot of different things to try to fix this therapy.
Starting point is 01:22:39 We did, you know, getting him on hormones. Like maybe his testosterone's low. We tried to do. So we were talking about it. It wasn't just like a outfit in the room. Okay. I was like. Okay.
Starting point is 01:22:47 I did every version of like thing you could do to try to fix this. And it just. wouldn't give you a straight up answer. Right. And maybe he didn't have one. I don't think he knew. I truly believe that he didn't know. I think ultimately he didn't know this at the time and I didn't know this time. I think he felt severely emasculated by me. Sure. I was making so much money. He was not. I was had this crazy purpose and this. I was like had a big acting job and this career and this. And I think he just felt like he couldn't measure up. And I think it just stunted his ability to feel like he was worthy of me.
Starting point is 01:23:20 And I, he was like my safe beta male guy. Like, he was like such a sweet guy when we met. And like, he didn't even have stuck with me for like the first like three dates. I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? You know, like I was like, take your clothes off. I'm done with this shit. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 01:23:32 And so if I didn't look at that and pay attention from the beginning, he was always this guy. Okay. Which like you said, you had a type, one of two types. Yes. And did you guys have sex in the beginning and it kind of petered off? Yeah, like the first year. But he was also like he was getting out of grad school.
Starting point is 01:23:46 Like the world was like in front of it. Right? It was like everything was. There was no responsibilities. Like it was just, there was a lot of freedom. And so it was easy. And a newer relationship. Yes.
Starting point is 01:23:54 It was like spontaneous desire. Yep. And real life started sinking in and it just, that went away. And I was like, wait, what? Like, I didn't sign up for this. You know, but you're integrated in your life. And it happens so slowly and gradually that it isn't like, you're trying to hold on. They're like, wait, remember when we were just those people?
Starting point is 01:24:10 Like, right. Like, we could get a back. Yeah. Did you? Like, was your self-talk at that time? Like, I can live without this. No. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:18 Okay. She did not. No. Was it like I found this nice person? Like I should try it harder. I mean, you stayed for a long time. I did.
Starting point is 01:24:25 I did. And I think I was scared, right? We had so much good. And a lot of times for me is like, if there's a clear reason to leave somebody, you're like, oh, this is easy. When there's, when there's not something that you can just go, I'm leaving because they cheated. I'm leaving because da-da-da.
Starting point is 01:24:40 I think I was confused in my own development of like he's a good person, but it doesn't mean he's right for me. And I didn't have that awareness yet. I was like, oh, I'm the bad guy. if I leave because there's so much that is working in the day-to-day life. Yes. And he was so kind and he was such a supporter. He was like my little puppy dog.
Starting point is 01:24:56 He was like my fan. And I was like, oh, but I was like, wait, I didn't actually want that. I wanted like the man who's going to throw me up against the wall and fuck my brains out. But then also cuddle with me afterward. Like that's what I want. But it's hard. You're in those relationships and you're like, this is a nice person. Yes.
Starting point is 01:25:09 And I see all this bad behavior around me and my friend's relationships. That's right. And I have it so I should be lucky. Yeah. We'll figure out how to fix this. And then it just kept not getting fixed. So now, your husband, from what we've heard so far, masculine guy. He has a massive.
Starting point is 01:25:24 He's just got an army. No, I think he's a blend. He's like the hybrid of like all of the versions, like the two extremes. Like he's like the badass Army Ranger who has been trained to kill people. So if you feel protected, it's so hot, right? She gets it. Yeah. I'm like, so you know, you're like, oh, I'm always going to be safe, you know.
Starting point is 01:25:43 But he's also a sweet guy and he's also just come out of the military. so we're dealing with all of those transitions and him coming into civilian life. Like for good? Oh yeah, he retired. Like he's almost 24 years. He's like, I'm out. And that's been hard.
Starting point is 01:25:58 And so it's a whole other layer of like our relationship being like where it's like now he's coming into his vulnerability and his like identity crisis. And so a lot of the tools that I learned over the years doing the things that I did in writing this book, I'm applying now to my relationship. I'm like, I learned how to forgive my dad knowing my dad had shame that I didn't know he had,
Starting point is 01:26:16 seeing these men in shame. And I'm like, if a man is hurting me because of his own suffering, I don't learn how to have grace for that. I didn't learn anything from this book. Totally. Does that make sense? So, like, that's kind of where we're in kind of a current, like, crisis stage of, like, trying to have him figure out who he is again.
Starting point is 01:26:32 And it's hard. Yeah. And it's really complicated. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine two decades plus. His entire identity since he was 18. It's your identity. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:39 That's a whole other book. Yes. And I think that, like, impacts men. And so I've seen this with my dad and his health and whatnot. Like men losing. their identity. Because I think women are so, we're able to discover new things
Starting point is 01:26:53 and pick up new copies and friends. New purpose, exactly. We pivot easier, I think, and can mourn a loss of identity and find the next thing. I think men struggle with that a little bit more. They really do. I'm watching it happen.
Starting point is 01:27:05 Well, stay tuned for the next book, you guys. I know. I just, I have to gas you up even. This book is fantastic. People will love it. I cannot recommend it enough. It comes out on June 30th. So you can pre-order it now on Amazon.
Starting point is 01:27:17 or anywhere that you get books, right? It's just fantastic. You don't know a dick. Thank you. Congrats. Really on touching such a different, interesting project. Exactly. There's just a lot of the same out there.
Starting point is 01:27:27 And so something that really feels unique and different in the perspective. And it's an emotional ride too with the humor. It is really beautiful. Yeah. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful. Tell people anywhere else they can find you. My Instagram's Christina Seven Denton with a K, by the way, with a K.
Starting point is 01:27:43 And yeah, I'm putting all my book stuff, tour information, things like that up there. So, okay, perfect. Great. Like a little link tree vibe. Yeah, all the things. Exactly. We love a link tree. Check your two. Links and bio. There it is. And we are Girls GottaEat Eat.com. Girls got to eat com. Girls got a podcast and Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash has some Instagram and TikTok. Raina's greenberg.org.com for her tour tickets in the fall. And you could watch full video. We recommend it for this one. It's really wonderful on Spotify or YouTube. Share this episode with a friend or a man in need. And we will see you Thursday. Have a great week, guys.
Starting point is 01:28:14 Bye. Thank you.

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