Girls Gotta Eat - I F*cked Up feat. Comedian Francis Ellis

Episode Date: August 11, 2019

We're talking about MISTAKES and have hilarious comedian/friend Francis Ellis join us to chat about being fired from (what was once) his dream job and the aftermath that ensued, including a semi-consensual trip to France. We discuss turning negatives into positives in all areas of life (work, relationships, etc.), decide if "once a cheater always a cheater" is true, and have Francis mansplain some burning questions about male behavior from our female listeners. We also catch up on our most recent travels, Ashley's apartment search, and a piggyback ride in Minneapolis that took a turn. Hope you enjoy! Follow Francis on Instagram @francisccellis and check out his podcast Oops. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess and Rayna @OneHungryJew. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Fabletics: Get 2 leggings for only $24 at fabletics.com/gge. Buffy: For $20 off your Buffy comforter, visit buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. Living Proof: Get a free sample of dry shampoo with your purchase at livingproof.com/gge + promo code GGE. Bioclarity: Get 40% off skincare routines + an extra 15% off everything at bioclarity.com when you use code GGE at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, and by the way. Oh, my God. I didn't realize that timing. Yeah, it was quick. I got fired on the train to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time. No. What? Swear to you.

Our episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Welcome back. We're in New York. It's every time we record we're in New York. Superfluous to say that. Okay. Got a good episode for you guys today.

We do. We have a very handsome, most importantly handsome. Male comedian, his name is Francis Ellis. He was recently fired from his job at Barstle Sports, and we're talking about it. We are talking about it, among other things. It's going to be a really great episode. So he's our new friend. He's my other business partner.

It's really triggered for me. You guys were on stage together at your show. I was like, I feel like I'm watching somebody fuck my boyfriend. The cuckhold. Your husband. I was sitting next to Mike Cannon, who was on our show as well, a comedian on our show. And I was like, I feel like I'm literally a cuck. I'm in the corner of someone's fucking my girlfriend.

It's so crazy. Oh my gosh. First of all, we are in my bedroom. It's weird for me. I'm not going to lie. You were like, where do you want to sit? And I looked around the room. I looked next to your bed. There's not a nightstand. There's just a table and your vibrator and your lube are on the nights. You just stay with your vibrator and your lube out. I live alone. I'm just to put it away for who? What if Dewey gets it? Doey doesn't want that? I've had Dewey for 10 plus years. All the vibrators I've had over the years that just sit right out. Dewey's never touched a one. He doesn't want it. It's doing gay? He just smells it. He's like, I don't want that. We are in my bedroom because, all right, well, this is going to be a big announcement. We're in my bedroom because we're lesbians. Something funny about being gay, I would say.

No, that was funny. That was well played. We have a big announcement that we're in my bed together because, I'm just kidding. They are something in my building in this trap house I live in. They're drilling and it was really noisy in the living room where we usually record. So we had to move it into the bedroom. so we didn't have a lot of background noise for you guys. But I don't live here anymore.

You don't live here anymore, bitch. I don't live here anymore, bitch, because I got the apartment. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-la. Last week, I talked about my whole amazing race to get this apartment and how I lost the one I wanted, but I was going for another one. And I was waiting to get approved, and I got it. And I think it's so funny that so many of you guys DM me asking me if I got it, like I was really going to tell you, even though I had already made it very clear

I was going to announce on this podcast to create suspense. That's why we do what we do. That's why this podcast is so popular. So I didn't answer any of you. Because Ashley knows how to build this bed. Thank you for being so invested. I got the apartment. I am moving September 1st.

This will, this is what, second to last? No, third to last episode will record in the original house studio, getting a little bit emotional, but I could not be more excited to move. Raina, you came and saw it this week. It is. It's spectacular, actually. Like, I can't even believe all the special little deep. Okay, so in front of every little apart.

every apartment, there's like, you know, the number of the door and there's a little lamp on the wall above every single number. You noticed. So bougie. You notice a lot of details. You're just more, like, artsy than me. You noticed, like, all these things in the building that I never even looked at. You were like, the floors and the walls and all these things. I'm like, but look at how big it is. I mean, it is, it is really an incredible, incredible apartment. I, like, we were in there. I brought Ray and I went in to go take some measurements and we brought in there. I just sat on the bedroom floor and just cried. Yep, Ashley cried. She dropped to her knees and cried. I just can't believe it. I, like, to me, where you live is so important. And look, I'm spending a lot of money to live there. That is where I like to spend my money to wake up every day and feel happy where you live. Not that I haven't felt that. I'm just, I'm over this apartment. I wanted to upgrade.

And I'm just like, that's to me, to love where you live is so, it's, it's, oh my God, what's the word? Priceless. To love. Couldn't think of that tough word. You are a MasterCard commercial? No, somebody asked me the other day, like, you know, because I've had lots of jobs in this podcast is obviously pretty successful.

And somebody said to me, like, how is your life changed since you started this podcast? And, like, financially, how's it changed? And I don't really have expensive taste. Neither to you. Like, neither of us are out here buying, like, really expensive clothing or, like, dining meals. But, like, to be able to have the apartment you want and furnish it the way you want, is, like, such a blessing. Yeah.

It was good. To be at a certain age, you be able to do that for yourself. Yeah. So I'm super excited moving September 1st and just throw this tip it in that I have a gentleman caller that is going to visit me a week later. You're brave. He's brave. I hope he likes hanging shelves.

He was like, could I do to our schedules? It's like kind of worked out. I'm like, you're going to come here a week after I moved. Do you understand that we're going to just take a beautiful tour of New York's best bed bath and beyond? Like, we can have sex after you put together the bed frame. Maybe that'll turn you on, though. Nothing will make a couple stronger or break up faster. My boyfriend in D.C., I went down Labor Day a couple years ago, like exactly right now.

like exactly right now, three years ago, right now, to help him move, we spent the entire Labor Day weekend at IKEA and Bed Bath and Beyond and Target and all the shit building. All we did was fight. We fought the whole time I fucking hated that motherfucker by the end of that trip. We weren't even speaking. I was in the car and he was like, what's wrong? I was like, nothing. Oh my God. So it broke you. It broke us. I mean, I'm a kid, but I don't know. It's stressful. Have a man in the house and their stuff needs to be done? I don't know. Maybe you're going to do it. Oh, it's a dream to have somebody in your home. You want to fuck on this couch?

Put it together. I'm just kidding. You want me to sit on your face while I hold onto the headboard? Put together the headboard. But anyway, so that's what's new. I'm not going to get too much into details about that. You want to take a shit? Build this toilet.

You want to take a big shit? Well, I don't have a plunder yet, so maybe you want to run down to Target. Go buy one. We need some stuff. I am scared. I'm genuinely scared. You know when I bought my, when I got my apartment, I could not stop designing. Like, every five seconds, I just,

spent and I don't know where the money went. I am afraid looking at websites with you for design stuff. I'm afraid I'm going to have like a flare up. What to want to buy my stuff? I'm going to start buying more stuff. I mean, you only have room for so much stuff. Yeah, I don't know if people know this about me and you. You have a great eye for style. Your apartment's incredible. You like do stuff that I would never think to do. I don't have that gene. I feel like I kind of know what I like. I can match things together. I know certain color schemes that I like, but I've never had like apartment that you walk in. You're like, damn. So I may have somebody help me out because I'm just like, same with styling clothes. I dress okay. But when Lillian, my, Lillian Charles, my friend in Atlanta picks stuff out for me,

dresses me, it's better. I have plenty of talents. Style is not one of them. Home decorating is not my strength. And I feel like you are so good about it. Your apartment and what you did in like a fucking week. People were shell shocked by that, like you just, you weren't answering your phone. You were texting back. And like a week after moving, your apartment was like fully done. a day after it was pretty close. But yeah, it's tough. Everybody has like an eye for it. I'm not saying I do either.

I spent a lot of time like Pinterest and shit. But still, you know how to execute what you see. We have like a friend Lee and we went to her apartment in Philadelphia and it was, I've never seen style like that, but she was like, yeah, I hired somebody. Right. Like I just wouldn't think to put like those textures and colors together and like, yeah, if you can't, I mean, there's just, there's a lot of like cool affordable places now that you can get on Instagram that'll just sort of like design your place by the hour.

And that's just one of those things. you can't do it all. Like that's, you know what I mean? Like, I just think it's such a skill. Like, clothes, styling, like styling of any type decorating. I'm just like,

I'm so in awe of people that do that because I don't have it. If you can't do it, pay someone else to do it. I want to talk about something that happened just an hour ago. I was stung by a bee. There's a hole in your neck.

There was a hole in my neck. I didn't even know that could happen. Okay, so here's what happened. I was walking down the street. I'm having a really great day. I'm just really on such a high. I feel, I've been just feeling really like hashtag blessed and like really just happy about my life.

We're getting ready to go to Dewey as we record this. And like I just was in a good spot. I was listening to like a great playlist, strutting along, almost like skipping along. And I felt like a sting in my neck. And I just thought it was like, you know, it was like even a fly could land on you. You feel a little pinch. And I felt it and went to brush it away and then felt like the actual pain. It was painful.

And I reached up and I pulled the stinger out of my neck. So savage. Who gets sung by a bee? I don't know. I literally don't know. And I feel so betrayed because I'm always preaching about like save the bees, save the bees. And like, I'm obviously a proud member of the beehive for Beyonce. And I'm just like, I'm such a bee person.

And I feel so betrayed. And now you're like, kill the bees. Kill all the bees. And then I like call my mom. I really, and it was so hot out that with the pain, I felt like I was going to pass out a little. And then I was like, oh my God, I'm allergic. And I call my mom. She's like, go get baking soda.

And I'm on the way to Target. I'm like feeling very woozy. I run into my like hot neighbor. And I'm like, I got to pull it together to talk to this guy and like try. to be cute. And meanwhile, my neck is like flaring up. There's a hole in it. And I'm like trying to get to target. I was sweaty from working out. It was a bad scene. This is how I feel when I run into my neighbor that I slept with in in that elevator all the time. I look like dog shit. And you're just trying to like hold it together. You could barely form a sentence. Like your eyelashes are hanging

off of your face. You're like, I don't want to see you right now. And you know, you know, I'm so dramatic. Like I see him on the street. And I was like, I was like, I'm just got stuck by me. Is it red? Look at it. He's like, it's too early for this. I just got out of bed. It's 3 o'clock. He's a little different because I haven't fucked him. You have fucked your neighbor.

He has seen me in so many states. So many stages of terrible. It is brutal. Yeah. Every time I take the trash out, I fucking run into him. It's terrible. It's like, can't you just die already? Anyways, let's go a quick stupid live show update.

Oh, yeah. So next week, we've announcements about the rest of our fall tour. We have two new cities that we're adding because you guys have asked for it so much. You're going to be surprised. You guys have asked. We have responded. We've also added a couple more dates to existing cities. So we'll have that next week for you guys.

We're just straining out some ticket sales stuff. And still on sale. Cleveland is still on sale. Pittsburgh is still on sale. Charleston. Charlotte sold out Atlanta. Yes, we're going to do it a little something else in Atlanta. We will announce it next week.

It's not going to be another show at Center Stage, but it's going to be something because you guys are so crazy and that show sold out so quickly. Also really quickly for my Atlanta fam. I am hosting an event a week from today, if you're listening to this on Monday the 12th, Monday the 19th. It is a Bachelor in Paradise viewing party. It's going to be at Park Tavern. I'm co-hosting with Triple Rees, Most Beautiful Man Alive.

Not even exaggerating. He is actually the Most Beautiful Man Alive. We are co-hosting this event. And basically it's a benefit for this charity called Helping Mamas. They help mothers. It's really wonderful. We will watch Bachelor in Paradise, which I am so obsessed with this season. It is so good.

I'm so invested. And there will be a bunch of people that have been on the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, all there. So there's a bunch of special guests and they'll be viewing, prizes, giveaways, whatever, Tribunal hosts will be cutting up. You'll get to meet all these people. The gift bags, the VIP options are great. Anyway, still tickets available. I'm going to post it on my Instagram and you can also go to Helpingmamas.org, I think, and it's also on their Instagram and the link in their bio goes to this page. It's an event bright page. Anyway. Mommas, M-O-M-M-M-M-A-M-M. Helping M-A-M-A-S. I think that's their

Instagram and their link in their bio. But if you really want tickets and you can't find it, DM me, I shouldn't even say that. But anyway, I just wanted to shout that out. It's a really great event. And it's going to be fun. I want you guys to all come. Okay. I'm done. Hosting more stuff other people that aren't me. That's cool. I would only host something with another guy. You're the only woman in my life. Before we jump into the episode, we do want to just give a quick update on Minneapolis because we were just there. We had two shows there. Oh my God. You guys blew us away. We didn't honestly want to go on the road again for more shows December, we couldn't not come to Minneapolis, and you guys delivered 100%.

It was amazing. Yeah, I'm the mayor of Minneapolis. Ashley could not know more about Minneapolis. She knows all of the restaurants, the bars, the bridges. The bridges. I love that city with a fiery passion. She was planning a romantic getaway to Minneapolis when we were leaving. She's like, I'll come back here.

Listen, the guy that I'm talking to you, I was like, I want to come back here. He was like, I'll meet you there. I'm like, exactly the answer I was looking for. Who doesn't want to go to the Mall of America? Okay. The Mall of America was so incredible. Ride a roller coaster in between stores. You guys give me all the recommendations on my Instagram.

If you follow me on Instagram, I asked for recommendations. You guys gave me the best ones. I put them all together. Then I was giving recommendations to people. It was crazy. I was like literally talking to an Uber driver and I knew so much about the city and stuff to do that he was like, so how long have you lived here? He was like, are you from here?

I love the city so, so much. And the shows were some of our absolute favorites, the varsity theater was could not have been more amazing. I will say the second night of the varsity theater is my favorite show that we've ever done. It was the most fun. It was just like the last night of our summer 2019 tour. It just was like so special. First night was incredible too.

Oh yeah. Both nights were amazing. But I think it was part of being like done. Like we're done. We met some guys. You guys are always asking us like how to meet guys in the wild. We just like struck up a normal conversation with these guys that were in line waiting for this bar. They were like a they were our age.

They were really cool and fun. We ended up going out with them all night long. Yeah. It wasn't like a romantic thing. One of them was married, one of them in a serious girlfriend, you know, one of them was single. But I met a guy that I ended up dating for a little bit hooking up in Atlanta. We met in line at the Claremont Lounge. You guys in Atlanta know what that is.

Like, that's a great time to talk to somebody. I think in lines across the board, like you're at a line at Starbucks. You're in a line anywhere. Like there's a common thing there. And so we just, you know, they were kind of holding the line for this bar because it's like fancy craft cocktail bar. And we were just like, what is going on here? And so we just started talking these guys. We hung up on the rest of the night.

I have to say the funniest thing that I've, I almost pissed my pants laughing. This is one of the funniest things has happened in a long time. Raina cannot walk in the shoes she wears to the shows. She does well at the shows, but like after the show's over, she maybe has like three blocks in her and she can't walk. Six inches, five inch heels. Nobody can walk in them. You can't walk in them.

And usually you have an extra pair of shoes, but you did it. So you're walking. I'm kind of holding your arm, trying to help you along. And like you're, she's not being dramatic. It's not like I'm trying to be flirting and have somebody carry me. You physically can't walk anymore. And we still had like two or three more blocks to go to get to this other bar called this die bar called Cuzzies that we were going to go to. So Raina was like, can anybody carry me?

And literally. Also, by the way, my bag was like 20 pounds also. You were like, I think I carried your bag, but you were like, can anybody, I was like, can anybody carry her? And there was these three guys and the guys, the two guys, which actually the two tall ones, the tall big tall ones. The two tall big ones. The other one was probably like 510. They were like, oh, Blake loves this. That was the shorter guy. And he was like, hop on. You get on his back. Raina, he took off. He took off like he was a horse. And I was watching them run and they run across the street. And he is bucking her up and down. She is, it is like she's riding a fucking horse.

We were dying. And then out of this guy's mouth, we are nowhere near his friend. So he is performing for no one. I am on his bag and I just hear, I got the horses in the back. He sings this for two blocks. Well, I am like lassoing with my arm. I can't hear this total stranger. Time of my life.

I watched him like buck you up and down, galloping across the street with this guy. I'm dying laughing. And I walk up, we're outside the bar about to go in and you go, he sang Old Town Road. And I, I pissed myself. I was like, he did not. And then I just like could hear him singing Old Town Road while he like, while you galloped together. It was the most unsexual thing. It was amazing.

I loved it. I miss him every day. Blake, miss you. So anyway, we ended Minneapolis with a horseback ride, got the horses in the back. I've never laughed so hard. I miss Minneapolis every day now. I know.

It's so great. I mean, I guess I'll be going back. Romantic getaway. Me too. Just to the Mall of America. I think I got everything that I wanted to say. Me too. I'll talk about me a beasting.

We ended the fundraiser, you guys, for immigrant families together. just want to give an update on that. We raised over $10,000. We hit that goal. So we're going to cut them a check. And thank you guys to all to everybody that donated for that. I think it's like, I don't know, 10,000 and a few hundred. Thank you guys so much. And obviously, we're going to keep an eye out for other, like, really amazing causes. Obviously, all kinds of stuff. Ficked up things are happening in this country. We're happy to let you know about them and raise money for it. Oh, I just 11,000. 11,000, 18,000, 18,000 plus that you guys raised. Just checked. So, I just 11,000, 11,000, 18,000. Okay. You ready to start the episode? Yeah. Okay. In the house studio with us and Dewey today, he is a good friend of ours.

He is a comedian in New York City. He is a writer. He is a podcaster. He went to a little school in Cambridge you might have heard of. He is pretty tall and very good looking. If you are into Ginger's, which I sort of am. Welcome to the studio of Francis Ellis. Oh, this is such a treat.

What an intro, Rada. Yeah, I feel all. Which I sort of am. She didn't say whether or not she really was. He watched it and I hugged him and I was like, oh, this is hard. Your chest is hard. Getting me all boned up over here. That's the point.

I'm getting all boned up. Haven't you seen his topless Instagram stories? I don't do that many of those. You did one? I just did one. I was eating cherries, but it wasn't that flattering. I wasn't like, look at this. We're super excited to have you here.

We've become buddies with you. Why don't you introduce yourself? Hi, everybody. This is so fun. Girls got to eat, baby. I went to their live show in Brooklyn at a place that was hard to find and I walked in

and there were so many women there. It was amazing. Everyone thought I was gay and I was fine with that because it's like, you know, sneak attack, right? Come up. That's how they get you.

I had sex with somebody. I showed somebody to my boobs I thought he was gay and all of a sudden I was making out with him and I was like, why is this gay guy making out with me? It's so crazy. And then you went all the way? We fucked six times.

Yeah. Wow. I met him. I met him and I was like, oh, he's gay. Uh-huh. Then Rainer was like, no, he can fuck. Shut up. Yeah.

Anyway, we could keep going. Wow, that's fun. I went into their show and I saw what they do live. And I'm speaking of you too. And it was absolutely illuminating to me. It was a good show. It was really fun. I really had a fun time.

I bought the meatballs. Dewey was there. Yep. Dewey was there. He came out on stage. Everyone went, oh, like that. They didn't want to, I think they did, I watched back the video. They didn't want to clap like two.

I didn't want to spook him. They didn't want to spook him, right. Yeah, like he was a horse, you know. That was, but he wasn't a horse. He was an unflappable good boy. You guys are the same color hair. We do, except he's got patches of white when that happens to me. You always just wait for it.

Yeah. How old are you? I'm 30. We went to his 30th. You guys came to my 30th birthday. Oh, my God. her locked it out

that was fun those were fun days okay what happened to your 30th though was that while you were doing a kegstand someone like went

through their fist in the air to like fist pump and knocked Raina's phone out of her hand and cracked the screen it's all smashed and I've never had it fixed because I just want to remember

that day every day then we got drunk that you forgot just now yeah and then we got drunk with Mike Cannon and Mike Feeney so if you guys

listened our episode with them that was a few weeks ago called Young Love with Mike and Mike. We met at Francis's birthday. That's right. And also,

Francis and I are hosting a monthly comedy show at the stand. The first one is over, but watch off for the next one. Yeah, come out. It's going to be really fun. The stand is really cool. The cool thing about the stand

is that they have amazing food and drinks. It's like a place to hang out. Yeah, they really promote their menu. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff. Dave meatballs? I think so.

Oh, yeah. Nothing like watching a comedy show with a hot dish. There was, we were, we were, I roast. Did this girl so hard in Tampa once? I'm like, looking out in the audience,

to see what people are doing. This girl's there with her man, and she's eating a Fetuccini Alfredo. Right. Just looks at the sign and was like, bitch, are you eating vettuccini Alfredo? Like, it is one of the worst things you can put in your body. And like, so you would think you would do that at like a really high-end,

nice Italian restaurant where you're like, I have to happen. Absolutely, fuck with Olive Garden. Yeah. But like the Tampa Improv. Maybe not. Why is it on their menu? No offense.

We love you Tampa Improv. But why are comedy shows out here like hot pasta? They need to make the simplest shit possible. But what you guys aren't even mentioning is how hard it is to laugh through eating that. Through Benuccini Alfredo. Through a white cream sauce. Yeah, right? Like that's such a destroyer of an audience.

It really, it also is just like, I want to go to sleep after that. That's not like a whole night food. Yeah, that doesn't get the endorphins flowing. It's not like a liddy kind of food. No. We're getting lit on this Alfredo. Okay, so you were fired. I got fired. I did get fired. I got fired about a month ago.

I wrote a blog about a young girl, a young woman. From Barstle, did we say? That was where I was fired from. You were working at Barstall Sports. If people don't know what Barstall Sports is, it's a giant media company. They have a serious sex. I don't think so. You don't think?

I didn't know what it was until my ex introduced me to it. Okay. because of your show, my ex is a fan of yours. Which show? Oh, the radio show? Yeah, the radio show we had. Oh, the Barstall breakfast. He was so jealous that I knew you.

Oh, I would like to meet him. He's not that great. I know. I love to flex at Barstall with my exes too. Like, I like when my exes see me. They're like, what the fuck is she doing there? She also talks shit on them. Yeah, this is so fucked up.

Yeah. But so you were there. So you were there. It's a giant media company. How would you describe what Barstle is? Well, it's a, sports, comedy, fratty. Boys Club. In a way. And then they're trying to get away from that image. Right. But that was how it was founded. That was how it was started. That was the audience they cultivated.

Yeah. And they have an incredible audience. It's like the most ardent, passionate fan base. Something like 70% of their internet visitors come back to the site every single day. Which is why they're so unique. Like they wake up and check it. Yeah, people don't go to the website because they saw something and wanted to learn more about it. Yeah, they're going to go to the website to see what's there. Like you check your Instagram. People are checking personal. Yeah, cult following.

So you guys have, well, you're not there anywhere, but tons of podcasts and radio shows and things like that. And you were a writer for them? I was a writer. I had a sketch comedy show. I did a special there. I had a radio show and I did a podcast there. I did a lot.

You did a lot. Yeah. Okay. Why did you fired? I got fired. I wrote a blog. about a young woman in Utah, her name was Mackenzie Lewick. And there was a story out about her being missing for a week.

Her sorority sisters had seen that her Instagram was active. They turned that over to the FBI. There were reasons to hope. And I thought she was fine. I took that tone in my article. She was also a huge fan of the Call Her Daddy podcast of ours at Barstool. And so I thought, I made jokes like, let's hope she makes her come back.

I'm safe, tour wearing, call her daddy merchandise. Also, you had seen another article, what in people, that said there was like no foul play. Like basically,

I liked that you also went back and said this was my mindset of why I even decided to write this. Like I was sure that she was fine. Yeah, I think anybody who read my article would see, oh,

clearly he was misled himself. Like he was diluted into thinking that I just misunderstood the whole situation and wrote this thing a couple hours later. She was found, you know, having been murdered, and it kind of just snowballed from there. Then it was reframed as like I had made fun of a dead girl. Right, of course. And a lot of news outlets covered it. I was fired that night.

And then that's why I'm, you know. Which I always say if you were a woman, you would have known that she was dead. Right. That's true. we watch so much crime stuff. So I feel like you're like, she's fine. And the women would have been like, no, we've seen this before. I don't say, that's, I'm not joking about a dead girl now either,

but I'm just saying like when I found out this, it was like, Francis, you should, you need to watch more crime stuff. I guess that's right. You don't know what it's like out there. Yeah. I will say, I'm sure you'll talk about your feelings on how you feel about being fired, but Ashley and I obviously heard right away. And my feeling was if people don't know the background of Barstool,

like, I think that you're a really smart guy and you've worked there for a long time and you know the tone of the stuff that they normally publish. And I don't think this was so tone-deaf to what is normally published on Barstool. Well, let me say this. I certainly wasn't writing the piece thinking, this fits with the tone of Barstool. I didn't feel like I was, you know, adhering to what I had come to understand from content at Barstool.

Okay. I just thought that she was fine. Okay. And there was a, the caller to do you. daddy tie in. Yeah. In hindsight, you could maybe say that where my article fell in the, you know, history of Barstall's most offensive things, it was certainly not the worst. Nope. Yeah. Not even on the same. Doesn't even scratch a surface. They've been problematic for women, at least for years. And that's, it is, that's just a fact. Right. Like, you know. Yeah. So, so like,

you, yeah, you can ask yourself like, well, why, why did I get fired given that? that precedents had been set that were worse. And I think it was a host of things. One, you know, it was very insensitive. And it was sort of a different thing, right? Like, it's one thing to be, you know, jokingly misogynistic, whatever. To be disgracing the memory of a, of a recently murdered young woman is like, that's horrible on so many levels.

And if that's how it comes off, then that's, you know, that's a fireable offense, of course. And finally, you know, we had had the HBO attest, attack piece that came out on on real sports earlier that week. So Barstle was under a pretty bad microscope. And I think, uh, that firing me was a good way to like try to write the ship. Make an example. Yeah. There would have been different ways to go around it. I mean, I think you had a great apology. You guys could have set something up for the family. I wondered about that. But I, what we also want to talk about today is like what you've done since. And I think we've all been fired, we can like share our stories as well.

But how you kind of turn it into a positive, I guess. I think that you, I mean, if people weren't following it like I was because I could not get enough of this. I think you came out in front of it right away. You apologized. I think that you just took the right tone. You didn't throw them under the bus or anything. You weren't angry.

You weren't mad. You apologized. I think it was the right thing you do. But we want to talk about how you sort of like, we've all been through these horrible situations where we're like, oh my God, my life is actually over. I have been humiliated, I've been fired. You're pretty public. I mean, there's articles written about you.

I've been fired. Nobody wrote about me in People Magazine. Yes. And also, and just for the record, Rain and I are on the same page. We think that it was weird to draw that line in the sand. Maybe they wanted you out for other reasons. And just so people know where we stand,

like we were like, this isn't, of all the stuff they've pumped out over the years, this seems not as problematic. And clearly, Francis didn't know that that was what happened. And it's also like a terrible tragic thing, clearly. And thoughts and prayers with the, this poor girl's family. But yeah, I think it's people, their careers, like, are their identity. So I think some, I mean, it was, it was in your Instagram handle. I mean, whether, how ever you

thought about the company or not, you were like tied to this company. And then all of a sudden, you're not there anymore and the whole world knows about it. Yeah. We had a good thing going. I will say that between the three of us and however many hundreds of thousands of listeners, you've got. More like a million. I don't know how much more I had to give there. I don't know. Like I was, I was kind of running out of shit of ideas. Maybe, you know, my radio show was good. But as far as the stuff I wanted to write about, I think that my time probably would have come to an end there sooner rather than later,

one way or another. And I think that they just sort of made the decision for me. I think everyone probably knew that. So that's one of the big reasons I really harbor no. resentment towards Dave or Erica or the company. I'm only grateful for what they did for me. Yeah. I think you just want to leave on your own accord. I was in a magazine and I was planning to quit and then got fired. She'd like beat me to the punch and I was like devastated. Like I was shell shocked because I like had this cool job and again I wanted to leave anyway. But it's always, it's just like an ego thing partially. Yeah. I think so. But I'm also aware of where the space we work in, right, which is that there is a, you never know, given the hundreds of hours of talking that you guys do on your podcast, you never know what one little sound bite might be taken that could really cause a problem for you guys.

I think about it all the time. Absolutely. And I can guarantee you this is not the last time I'm going to get fired in this business. Yeah. And it's not the last time that I'm going to tell a joke or do a joke that makes people angry. Yeah. And you only hope. that you don't do something that galvanizes a movement against you that will excommunicate you from entertainment completely. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't know that like you'll get fired again. Now you're doing your own thing, which I feel like you're probably meant to do.

Yeah. And we talk about this sometimes. Rain and I, we talked about this with Hannah, Berner. Oh, I love her. You just wanted her podcast. She left media company.

Betches. Yeah, she left Betches. But she was meant to do more. think a lot of times not to get like too deep. I think employers feel when you're not fully drinking the Kool-Aid and you're meant to do more. And I think people that are meant to start their own thing and be their own personality and not work for somebody like the three of us in this room, I think people know. They can like feel it and they're, they get you out. Raina had issues at Amazon. I had, I've had issues in every time I've ever worked for somebody. And I think it's because I know

I'm meant to be on my own. I had a long talk with Hannah about that where she was like, I thought my life was over when I left, got, like, let go from there. And I was like, but look at you now. But I think it's so hard, especially with a company like Barstool or Betches or Amazon where I was, where like they, so much of your identity is tied to that. It's not just you walk in the morning you leave. Like, your whole Instagram following is based on that. Your social life is based on that.

Everything you do is about that job. It's so hard to leave those things. And I guess it is sort of a blessing if you are pushed out the door. Yeah, because you never would have left. You would ever left. I worked for a site called Daily Candy and I, it was this great job, but I was underpaid, but I never wanted to not be associated with them. I wanted to be a daily candy editor until the day I died. And the company shut down. And I was like, I never would have left.

I'm like, I was like a blessing that they just, I just wouldn't have let go. But I just say, I just want to give people that thought of like if you feel like you're meant to do more, you probably are. And you can look at this silver lining. Yeah. Because I want to talk about what you're doing now. Thank you. I think that's exactly right. I had a golden handcuffs situation at Barstool. I like that metaphor. And, uh, and I would never have left. But I was wasn't that happy, you know? Yeah. And I think everybody knew that. I was a mercenary there. I was a gun for hire. I was never going to tattoo the stool on my chest and go to war against the detractors. So I did what I did very well. And I think that's one of the reasons that a lot of people have

followed me and stuck with me since leaving. I didn't lose any followers. I love that. You know, I've retained everything. And a lot of people are excited to see what I do next. And that's why we're here today. I'm excited. I love your attitude about. I've been fired from a job and yes, at Amazon, I was terrorized for an entire year. And I've never talked about this on the show. I've talked about not liking it there, but I was, I was terrorized continuously by them. And their HR, I got like emotional thinking about how bad they knew. Because you had your other thing and they were like, she's not part of this culture.

Like you're supposed to be. Yes. But I thought like my life will be over. Like how do I get another salary? How do I get another group of friends? Like how do I walk away from this thing that's at this giant company? people would think it's insane for you to do it. And I think that your attitude about it is so great,

and you've come to that attitude very quickly. I didn't have a choice. Right. Do you know what I mean? You can be bitter and angry for much longer. No, but like, you've got to keep moving. I knew immediately I started going into damage control mode. And I think half of that is having the right tone in your statement.

And then the other half is showing people who are ready to forgive you or aren't even mad at you, hey, I'm going to keep being funny. Like, I'm going to keep doing this. The stuff that you liked me for isn't gone with the wind. So, you know, here's where you can find me next. I needed to get that stuff up to show a heartbeat and a pulse and, you know, an optimism. And I'm happy. I'm excited.

But you have a podcast. Hell yeah. When did you have this? It's been a month, right? You, like, have turned this around a month, right? You got fired and you were in like France for two of those weeks. I know. So you really like forged ahead.

I did. France was kind of not that a consensual of a trip. I went there against my will. It never is. Okay. Ashton I went to France and we hated it too. It is never consensual. Is that a bad country?

The sun is never out. Nothing's ever open. The food's not good. Ashley and I spent half the time in bed together listening to our own podcast. Yeah. Again, guys, you can listen to our episode called Let's Talk About Traveling. We shit all over Paris for 20 minutes. Hot take shit in the lobby bathroom.

Okay, so I want to ask you a question and maybe you don't have advice for this. But I think there are a lot of people that get fired or leave their jobs and they don't have hundreds of thousands of Instagram followers and a comedy career and other things to fall back on. So what is your advice? Like, you seem to bounce back and be really positive right away. Do you have advice for people that like don't have that stuff? Yeah, I think what I would say is that never take your job for granted, no matter how much job

security you think you have. For me, I was always doing stand-up before Barstool for years, and then I maintained that. I insisted on doing four to five spots a week and then it was going on the road the whole time that I was there. That's good advice. Do other staff. Yeah. And by having, by maintaining a skill that is not contingent upon your employment, you have something to fall back on and you aren't lost in the weeds and starting from scratch if all hell breaks loose. Right. And if you're like obsessed with your job,

you're like, that was what I want to do for the rest of my life. That's one thing. But I think it's just that time to like reflect on do I really want to do this. Like I've seen people get fired, then they go back to school or they do this other thing. I think it's like this reality check. Hopefully you can like get by. pay your bills, but I mean, you know. Yeah, yeah. And also,

uh, I think this is a good time in life to get fired. Um, you know, I don't know if I, if I were 45 and I had four kids and all that, this would be our main listenership. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but like, you know, at 30 with, with not, not a whole lot to lose, uh, you really don't despair too much. You can find tangential work. there are other media companies. And based on what you will love doing, right, which is like entertaining or creating, I may not be able to work at a barstool, you know,

company again or right away, if that's what I wanted to do. But I could go try to write for, you know, a different magazine or apply to all these different places and you'll find, you'll land someplace nearby. So you started this podcast and it kind of has a common theme, right? Yeah.

Tell us about it. Yeah, it's called oops. It's about mistakes. I like this name a lot. I also just like what it's about. I don't know another mistake, regret, redemption podcast. Like when we sat down and you told me about it, I was like bracing myself like, what if I hate this idea? And I was like, I love this idea.

I love this idea. Okay, so you get fired and you are forced to go to Paris with your girl. Well, we actually didn't. We didn't go to Paris. Oh, thank God. To sham an knee. Which I think other parts of France are better than Paris. This is great.

I've been in neat, like south of France. Yeah. What's sham. Chamonee? Chamonie. Chamonix. It looks like Chamonix, but it's shamony. We're going to go Chamonix. I'm from Pittsburgh. That's where that's like a big Mont Blanc. It's like the famous Alps town, highest mountain in Europe, big ski town.

Okay. So you got fired and you thought I'm going to go climb a mountain. We went hiking. Well, we had planned this trip. Right. Right. It was a vacation. I had put in for my vacation days, which as it turned up, didn't need to do. Need them. Plenty of time to go. They didn't mind letting me go. Yes, but guys, I'm still going on vacation.

I'm still taking those days. So that was, we were supposed to leave Monday. I got fired on a Friday. We were leaving on Monday. Oh, and by the way. Oh, my God. I didn't realize that timing. Yeah, it was quick.

I got fired on the train to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first day. No. What? Swear to you. Did you tell them? Had to. You told her parents. Of course. What a choice did I have? It was about, it was, the Washington Post had reached out.

Yeah. I don't know if you know them. They're big. They're doing well. That's fake news, though. Washington Post, yeah, Fox News, ABC News. That's the liberal media. Yeah, there you go. Liberal news, fake news media. Socialist agenda. Yeah. Wow, I didn't realize that. And her stepdad is a, he's a pilot. So he plays everything by the book. And I walked in. They were all sitting down to dinner. Big gathering. They had the cousins in town. No, extended family. Oh, big. Big time. That's exactly where you want to be on the heels of getting fired. Right. I'm like getting hot thinking about this.

This is a nightmare. Sorry, this is the first time you met them. Yeah. How long have you been with your girlfriend? Like eight or nine months. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. So you're meeting the whole family. You've just gotten fired. Yeah. What do you do? I walked in and I had texted her my girlfriend to let her know. Because I was on the train. I was 20 minutes away.

They live in New Hope, Pennsylvania. Do you text me first or was she first? You, I texted her to let her know. But then I got like, Then I talked to Ashley immediately. Wow, big flex. I talked to Ashley immediately. Raina's face was like, damn.

You did text me though. I did text her and then she called me and I was like, listen. You get murdered. I know it's Francis's girlfriend. She's nonviolent. She'll just harass you on Instagram until you get an eating disorder. No, she seems sweet. She does.

She does. We are your birthday and she was like, do you guys need anything? And I was like, Ashley's miming stabbing someone. Like, shut up. You text your girlfriend after me. Yeah. I would have gone with fisting. My miming fisting.

That's what my joke would have been if I had had the thought to do it. That was good though. Yours was better. You want to fist me? I don't know. That seems really rough. I was asking Ashley, her hands are dangerous. Your hand?

That you could not fist me. No, I don't think. You have pretty big hands. You know, fisting. You have really big hands, Francis. Oh, heavens. Is your dick big? Raina.

Damn it. Are there any... Getting me all boned up again over here. Are there stereotypes? Are there stereotypes about genders? No. That their... That their dicks are covered in frothing orange pubic hair.

Not me. Trim it. Gotta make it look bigger. Optical illusion stuff. I have a discussion with somebody recently about letting it grow in. How do you feel about male pubic hair? I wanted to do an entire episode on grooming because I don't know what you guys are doing down there.

Like, It's such a wide range. I don't want it to be prickly and I don't want it to be able to braid it. But like I guess most guys are somewhere in between. But you know, we talked about last week, like, or two weeks ago, I like to get down there and feel around.

But I still, I just don't know what you guys are doing. Like you have an electric thing? Are you using a, like a Gillette razor? I use, I use like a sideburn trimmer. You don't bick it. No, I certainly don't. And that would be like, I'd get like razor burn. And then I'd ever be like, oh, is that herpes?

And you're like, no, I'm just. Every person. Everybody, that's down there. Everybody would be like. But the razor is probably the color of your pubes anyway. Oh, no, it's red and modeled. That's your hair color. My hair is orange.

If I had raised angry bumps all over my pubic bone, you'd be like, that's not hair. That's disease. Okay, so you text your girlfriend on the way to meet her family and the cousins. Right, back to your girlfriend's dad. Yeah, yeah, I walk in. They're all sitting at dinner because I was late. And everyone was like half the best.

people are like, hey, how you doing? So she had had to tell that. I think she had preface like, hey, he just got fired. And I kind of had to tell this whole story. And that was still at a time when everyone thought it was like, it was pretty bad, you know, what I had done. Nobody, nobody had had the benefit of hindsight to be like, well, it was kind of just a timing issue. You're right. Some of those people at that table are like, this guy's a monster. You might think. Although, although I think you have the benefit of, you know, people like who love you. Yeah. Or obviously they didn't know me, but they, you know, through my girlfriend, they were like,

well, she dodges for him. Yeah. And so I walked in and I had told the whole story. And then the hard part was that we had this whole weekend plan of like bike rides and picnics and I couldn't eat. I was so messed up from this happening that I couldn't, I couldn't eat. So I actually ended up, I've lost 14 pounds since I got fired. Really?

Yeah, it's a great weight loss strategy. Can you fire me? Podcast is over, guys. Yeah. Ash, can you just fire me? I wish somebody would fuck me up. I'd go back to Mexico and drink the water. It worked for you before.

I looked so good after Mexico. I've never shit and vomited that much in my life. At one point, I threw up, standing up, and shit my pants at the same time. And that's why she had to move. That's why I had to move. When you shit in your apartment, you got to go. Yeah, I wasn't wearing underwear. That's why I'm moving.

Surprise, guys. No, I'm just kidding. not getting that security deposit back. I didn't get it back. They're like, there's feces everywhere. Like, look, it's nothing I can do about it. Okay, I was throwing up in the middle of living room, it just came out.

Oh, heavens. I just, I can't get over this what you had to do right on the heels of being fired. Go take bike rides and do picnics with your girlfriend's entire family. That was tough. That was really tough. We went to a waterfall and I stood under it for a long time. trying to drown yourself. I just,

I just thought it was cleansing. I feel like you were like all like brooding and yeah. Yeah. I was a great moment. I was just sort of like, God cleanse me. Ashley's like, do you want to get in the shower and like mime it right now?

You guys, you guys are trying to fuck. I know that tone. You guys are so fun. I haven't been laid in like a week. Oh my God. So also I was just, I was going to ask this.

No, I'm forgetting. Do you, All you can think about is Francis in the shower. She lost to train up. Oh, I like water pressure. Yeah, let them soak. Feel like were you treating your girlfriend any differently?

Like, I couldn't hear anything anyone was saying. Because I feel like I would have to be constantly like, don't take this out on this person. Like, don't, you know what I mean? Not taking it out on her. Not take it out, but I snap a little more. I would be snappy. No. I just think that you are very insular in those situations.

It's like being depressed. You can't think about other people and their feelings. I was dazed. Yeah. I was very dazed, and I couldn't hear what people were saying. I couldn't respond. I couldn't stay present. And unfortunately, that carried through into France.

Right. And every day it got a little bit better. But, you know, we would go out to these long three-hour meals with cheese carts. And I would just kind of like there would be periods of me, just my brain traveling back to America and trying to check the broken landscape that I'd left behind and to figure out where do I, how do I fit these pieces? back together. Meanwhile, you know, we're in idyllic hillside villages trying to sample wine and I'm just, I'm just like not there. Yeah. Would you say that this is the

worst thing as a couple you guys have gone through together? The worst tragedy in either of your lives together? Uh, great question. Her dad, her biological father, whom she was close with, uh, passed away like eight months before we started, before we met. Okay. So still like, and I would say that like, the one-year anniversary of his passing was probably more heart-wrenching for us than me getting fired.

But I'm also, I think I'm at a point in my life where I can take ownership of stuff and I was able to move industriously through this. Like I stayed moving forward and I made a lot of good calls. like as the process was unfolding. Yeah. I think that it was so much your whole identity. And the reason why I ask you that is I think that like most people can date most other people when everything is good all the time and things are great.

And I think you really like see a person's true colors when you are failing and you need support. Yeah. And so that's why I asked you that question. Yeah. Yeah. And she did freak out. She was like very upset because she just didn't know what to do to help me. Right.

And I think that's a very helpless. feeling, you know? Well, and I don't know. You just seem like the type of guy. I'm thinking about, like, the guy that I dated the most seriously. And, like, if this would have happened and you would have gotten fired, I would have been like, oh, I'm going to have to fix this. Like, I'm going to pick up the pieces.

Like, I don't think he's got his shit together enough to, like, forge ahead and figure out what's next. And I felt that, my anxiety would come from that. And I just feel like you, I mean, yeah, maybe you're not at 22. But now, I would, I don't know, I don't know you well enough, but I would assume that she was at least like he'll figure this out. Do you find that unattractive? I mean, I think I know the answer anyway.

Absolutely. And that's almost why I like choose. I think about this sometimes when I'm just like, do I want to be in a relationship? Do I not? Do I want to get married? Do I not? I don't ever want to be responsible for someone else's life. You need to be there for them in times of hard times.

But I just don't want things like jobs to ever fall on me. I don't know. And a lot of people put that on like you dated people. I feel like that if they would have just gotten fired out of the blue, you would have been like, oh, I'm going to have to. Well, that did happen to me. With my ex who was living with, he got fired. And I remember he called me on his way home.

And he's like, I just got fired so we can go to dinner tonight if you want. I was like, okay, we're going to get on the computer. We're going to look for some more jobs. We're going to rebuild your resume. We're going to write a cover letter right now. And I was just like this cheerleader, hype woman trying to. But like, yeah, I mean, you can only help people to a certain point. You want to be with somebody that can help themselves a little bit.

And, of course, I don't mean to walk it back. I don't mean, like, not having empathy and being there for someone every step of the way. But in terms of like, there's just certain people that you're like, I'm going to be there for them, but they will figure this out. And I think there's certain people where you're like, they're not going to be okay. And I'm going to have to step in and pick up these pieces and then fix their life for them. And I just don't see you as the latter. But Ashley, you're also an interesting case because I know you to be very, like, detail-oriented, right?

Yeah. And forgive me if that's, like, not the right way to say. But you're very, you know, you like to see things and have them set up and, like, you don't miss things. I know it's so annoying. It's her worst quality. I don't want to say like micromanaging. Never miss a thing. Literally never missed a thing in her role.

It's crazy. But like I think therefore if a significant other of yours had their life fall apart, it would affect you differently than somebody like maybe Raina or maybe my girlfriend who took on the cheerleader role, but in a more removed kind of general way. Yeah. Whereas I can see you like actually drafting applications for that person. That's the thing.

So that's why I'm like, I don't think you don't want to have to. I don't want to. And I don't think I want to either. And I will, but I think I'll end up, I will in the moment and I'll end up feeling annoyed about it. And I don't want to say emasculated, like I will emasculate you. But like, yeah, my 30s. I'm not trying to be with somebody that, like, can't pick up their own pieces a little bit. And if I, something happened to our career, it's, I mean, fired is not the word, clearly.

But if something happened, like, and I had a significant other, there would be nothing they could actually do to help me. get back in like the job world or whatever, it would just be like, just support me, like emotionally. Like let me vent, help me out if I need this. But I don't need you to like fix my career. And I feel like I've dated guys that that would have been how I would have felt. But how did your, what was your girlfriend's tone? Was it just like support and?

It was what, it was very supportive. I mean, she was amazing. And, you know, at no point did she blame me or say, yeah, I can see why they did that. was actually wouldn't know that now. Did you get any shade from her at all? Like in terms of like, did you think you should have done this? No, I think she, she had the viewpoint that everyone came to with like a week later, two weeks later, which was just like, yeah, I can see how you thought this and it's a mistake, but it's not an indictment of my character. For sure. And, and you're going to be fine. And I got so many emails and so many DMs and so many DMs and so

many tweets from people who liked me who were just like, you know, so supportive and specific in their support, they're like, you're going to be fine. You're going to use these talents that you've got to find ways to keep moving forward, whatever, that I started to believe it. And I think that groundswell of support and also the specificity of it were what allowed me to come out of my like fugue state and start being a catalystic about about my future. I think I would let that mistake. I mean, some people would, I would be like this giant, like I would start thinking, am I reckless? Am I so tone deaf? Am I? Like, I would let it eat me. And I think that you had the best, you turned it around so quickly. And I think that like that's a mistake to let it eat you like that

and to say that this one mistake defines everything that I am, you know? Like it's just, it's just what it is. It's a mistake. But then people, I don't know how to try. to people do that in relationships. You just harp on this thing. Like, could I have done this differently? Oh my God, I can't believe I did this. I think over and over. And we, I mean, you just have to eventually be like,

I did this for a reason. And I, yeah, maybe it was a mistake, but the way things play out they're supposed to, I can't harp on this for the, until the end of time. Yeah. Do you guys think that, you know, like things happen for a reason? Do you believe in fate? Everything.

I literally, I guess it's also easy to say when you really love where you are in life. You know, where you're like, okay. these bad things happen, but they brought me here. So I think everything works the way. It's supposed to, I think I, sometimes I'm like, I wish I would have moved to New York earlier. I wish I wouldn't have spent so long in Atlanta.

But then I'm like, but then I wouldn't have met Raina at the time I met her and then we wouldn't be here. So my life, that's how I think. So I, every single bad thing that's happened, like I think about this relationship that I was in that really got bad and turned into like a real nightmare. And then I'm like, but, I mean, it kind of made me realize how much I enjoyed analyzing relationships.

and talking about them in order to want to start this podcast. I mean, it's just like everything has fallen into place. I mean, you'll look back on the firing as like the best thing that ever happened. I kind of already do. Yeah, absolutely. The way I want to be able to say this someday and I can't say it yet because I don't know how true it is, but I want to be able to say that getting hired by Barstle was like, right now is probably one of the best things that ever happened to me.

But getting fired by Barstle was the second best thing that ever happened to me. because, yeah, I mean, hopefully it leads to something. How about you, Rainer? Are you fate? I'm not religious, so I don't know. I don't believe in, like, God doing things, but I believe that there's signs from the universe. I think that there's things that are just such a crazy coincidence

that has to be for a reason. But I'm exactly like, Ashley, I wouldn't change anything that happened in my life. I'm also a person, though, that, like, I will always succeed in the face of adversity. Like, my mom always says, if something good or bad can happen to me, the bad thing always happens. And I'm the opposite. I always say if something good or bad,

I always succeed. But I think that that's just your view of things. And so I never look at bad things that happen and think, like, I can't believe. Like, it's always an opportunity to change, to make something different, to make something better. And like, every breakup I've gone through, every job that I failed at, everything I've ever done has led me to this couch today. And so I'm, like, proud of all the things that happen. And, like, yeah, my people think that I, like, hate my fiancee for leaving me. But, like, I don't hate him.

And I think it's, like, great because, like, I would have been a wife and a mother, which is fine. but I wouldn't be here doing this. It wouldn't have pushed me to like travel the world and make all these friends and like meet Ashley and like everything I've done put me exactly where I am today. So I'm happy for those things. Wow. And I think on a small scale,

we've been talking about this new apartment I just got. And it's like, I thought I wanted this other one. And like I was like racing to get the check to give it to them. And they told me I didn't get it. I just was like, I mean, you're just, the wind like comes out of your sales. And you rain experience out. She was like so set on getting this apartment.

She got the email that she didn't get it. And we were in a meeting and she like started crying. You're like, that wasn't the one. It's such a small little thing, but you have to tell yourself it wasn't the one. It wasn't meant to be. I feel like I say it wasn't meant to be a lot when things like don't go right. I think you can try and try and try and do everything you can. But if it doesn't work out, it wasn't, it wasn't meant to be.

It just takes, I just think the worst thing you can do is just sit around and cry and worry about it. Totally. And I think that's where a lot of people, I don't know, you were forced to do, to like get out, meet a family, go to France. I don't know what you would have done otherwise. I don't know if you would have mourned a little bit or, you know, followed at all. I wonder what I would have done if I hadn't gone to France, whether I would have just moped in New York. I don't think so. I think I would have gotten to meetings and stuff like that.

I think it's good to take a trip. Yeah. I think that when you lose a job, I think that, like, you don't need to hop on. I mean, financially, some people have to. But if you were fortunate enough, I think it's nice to be able to, like, leave town and just take a beat. Instead of sitting at home and applying for jobs and making yourself miserable and going right back into it. When I was, the deepest, darkest, I feel like I've been with my situation with my ex was actually not actually when we broke up. It was another thing.

The worst thing, I couldn't, I cried every day for a month. It was really bad. And I was like, I just need to get out of town. And I got this offer to go on this press trip to Aruba. And I was like, oh, my God, thank God. This is like a sign. I need to go. And I remember getting there and I was in the lobby of this hotel.

And it was beautiful. It's on the beach. It's amazing. It's the Ruby and Marriott. Shout out to them. And I was like still really in this dark place. I feel like I wanted to cry. I was just like, I feel so lonely and, like, broken.

And then I was like, I got to snap out of this. I'm like in a beautiful place. How can I be this lucky to be able to do this and feel, and I can't feel so sad? And I just like made myself snap out of it. And then I met Raina that night. Oh, my. Yeah. And that's the rest of our lives.

October 9th. Yes, like October 9th. I mean, it's just what happened with him was end of September. So we're a week out of it, still crying every day. And that was what happened. Was that this past October? October? Two years ago.

Oh, yeah. This was October 2017. I met her at this dinner and it was all women on this press trip and all of us like stayed up the whole window lobby. We just drank all night long. We just talked about relationships for hours. And I had never met any of these people. And all of a sudden you're like intensely connected to all these people and you're like, oh, I did this because of relationships. And I think that's why people feel connected to this podcast because they're like, oh, I've been through this too.

Right. You know? Have you guys read The girl in Cabin 10? No. The woman in Cabin in 10? No. It's the same author who wrote in a dark, dark wood. She does all these like, you know, female-driven sort of murder mystery thrillers.

Oh, you had to be a murder. They're really good. The woman in Cabin and Ten, I really liked. I think they're turning it into a movie. But your story sounds a lot like that. Like, I'm surprised nobody was killed later. In the table. Maybe they were.

In the table. Ashley and I murdered somebody in that time. We crashed a wedding that night. We got kicked out promptly. Did you really? We murdered the game. We walked. We murdered the game.

something was murder that night. It was the game. Francis, I want to talk about France a little bit because I saw a clip from your podcast about you, you speaking French and your girlfriend not. Tell us about it.

Yeah, so I speak French and I speak it fluently and I'm not proud of that. I used to be proud of that when I was younger. It was something I was proud of. And now I'm not proud of it anymore because nobody fucking likes France. They're not like pouring over the border and building us houses.

So you need, it's a good, skill to communicate and be like, now we want a different roof. No. I'm the same way I took French in high school. Nobody ever said it's a stupid fucking thing to do. Why are you doing this? I took five years of French. I won an award and literally I know like five words.

I can read it a little bit. Yeah, well, try, trying speaking it like a native person and devoting lots of time to that and then being proud of that all through high school and like actually using it to try to seduce women. And then learning at 2530 that nobody fucking cares. and you go over there with your girlfriend and you're like, do I still speak it?

It's been a while. And you're like, yeah, I hear everything and I'm speaking perfectly and everyone's impressed with my accent. And then your girlfriend gets so excited about it that she tries to join in. I started speaking some French words that she knows from her two years in high school.

She's like, you know, I can understand everything. I just don't speak that one. You're like, you don't understand anything. You're full of shit. And then, you know, we go to Gets. at crepes, and that's sort of the right way to say it. A lot of people in America say crepes. I say crapes.

Yeah, see, that drives me fucking crazy. Yeah, I say. I say, I say, for sales. What's that? For sales. I save her sales. You save her sales. Yeah.

That's way off. That's a butchery. And so she, should we go to get crepes? And she is calling them crepes and it's the flat pancake and that drives me nuts for a couple reasons. One, uh, crapes is wrong. It sounds like rapes. And I don't like rape.

I'm not a fan. And then two, she went to Penn State. So, like, just the pronunciation of it makes me think she's not as smart as she should be. It's not a great school. And if you're not familiar, they had a really bad crape scandal recently. So. Oh, my God. Penn State's a fine school phrases.

You went to Harvard shut up. It's okay. It's a great school. Penn State honors is great. Penn State is great. They just had that one little scandal. That one crepe scandal. It's a bad grape scandal.

Yeah. So, anyway, that was tough. But otherwise, we had a phenomenal time. and, you know, the cheese, they would roll out these cheese carts. And it was, like, unlimited. Oh, my God, I'm close. Tell me more about me. Ah, you're wet.

You're soaking. You must be so weird when you dirty talk. I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine. I can't imagine. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine. Too descriptive.

Wait, I'm still in the pronunciation. Does she say, ques a disease. It's razor burn. Is that your dirty talk? That's my dirty talk. She says, yeah, like, she would, she would say like crossund. No, if she's trying to say, like I even here in the States, like, this has been a whole thing on our podcast.

Please, please don't send us the memes. I just say, I say a light, I'd say a light croissant. Like, I don't say croissant. You're not trying to be arrogant about it. Right, but that's how I say it. How do you say it? In French, you would say croissant. Quaston, but I do that, I do a light accent on it.

There's another word I thought of, but people make fun of me. I think that's fine. You know what? It would be bad. Okay, so we were talking on our podcast about Ibiza, right? This is so crazy. I didn't realize this.

The Lisp? Oh, absolutely. They put the T-H for the Z. Ibiza? Yeah. The Spanish do. And then Americans and people who want to seem like they're culturally sensitive. Do the Lisp.

At it. I did it when I was in Spain. Oliver's face. To be like in the no. And it's like, it's almost like people who wear, the, like, imagine you go to some super hard to get into nightclub. Yeah. And they give you a wristband.

And then you keep wearing it for a week. Oh my gosh. Or someone like, have you ever seen people wear like festival wristbands all summer? Oh. Like they're like, you know, I know. It's a Coachella Bono. Like, death to them. They shower with them.

It's disgusting. They're all brown. I mean, when you're at the, you do have to keep it on throughout the festival. Yeah, that's fine. You mess it. But like people. People keep them. on like look where I went this summer and they like outstretched their arm it's a badge of honor look at all

these places I threw up in the gravel this summer so yeah so that's what people who say abitha they're like I went to abitha recently and I learned how to pronounce it correctly there and you're like well you're home now and you mustn't speak that way I think I want to pronounce it like pizza Ibiza abiza like you say like you don't say pala paella paella paella paella is different The thing is the way that we were taught before we like, if you say Paris instead of Paris in America, you're a dick. Yeah, you're a huge dick. Did you try to do that to seduce girls though?

No. If I'm in Paris, I would say like, Paris, but only to French people when I say that. Totally. When I come back, I'm like, we're changing waters. Paris. Why are we talking about this? Because they went there. We were talking about things that drove me now.

on the relationship, honeymoon, unemployed moon. The other thing that drove me crazy was that we were, it was wildly expensive. And she had a job and I didn't. And I thought perhaps the splitting of the bill would reflect that. But because there was a wage gap in her favor in our relationship at that point. Yeah. And that's hard to navigate. And yet it was still, I still, you know, forked over a lot.

So she paid as much as she could. Yeah. Do you feel like she? Oh, totally. More than she would have had you been employed? Yes. Yes. Yes. She was sensitive to it. But I think taking even her out of the equation, like you're sitting here like, oh my God, I just lost my job. But like this isn't a crazy expensive vacation.

For me, maybe like resentment would build no matter what, you know? Absolutely. That's exactly right. It's very hard not to resent the person you're with who is holding you to the activities that you had planned out, justifying based on your employment. Right. You're like, I can afford this. I have a job. I have direct deposits coming.

Did you guys have discussions about that? That would be really hard for me. It would be hard for me both ways. I'd be annoyed that you lost your job and not how to be on this trip, paying for everything. And I'd be annoyed if I were you being like, I don't, I can't afford this. I don't have any money coming in. How did you guys handle that?

Do you fight? We didn't fight, no, but we really don't fight, which I don't know how healthy that is. We don't fight at all. But you have discussions? We do. We have honest discussions. But yeah. So I kind of was like,

look, you know, let's take out two of the really fancy dinners that we had planned. Right. And one night we cooked at home just from the supermarket. Another night we just went and got, you know, fondue, which actually ended up being like our favorite date of the whole time. And that was like 20 euros total. Yeah. So just those two little switches probably saved, you know, $400, $500 or something.

And that was a nice concession. Right. For sure. Yeah. Okay. I like that advice. just make some concessions. Yeah.

We talked with this because the theme of this, mistakes, regret type of thing. I don't really know your relationship history before this. Do you have any things in your past, things that you, like,

harped on that you felt like you ruined a relationship or could have done things differently and had to move past that? Because we get a lot of that. We just get a lot of that, I feel like from our listeners, like, I did this thing,

I fucked this up, and we're always just like, got to get over it. Right. What you did. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's really the nature. You're having people on your podcast to talk about their big mistakes.

No, but this is good. This is good. You can hear more about fallibility and mistakes at Oops the podcast. Exactly. But I would definitely say that there was, I've only, I would say I've been in now two very serious relationships. Okay. The one I'm currently in. And then this young woman I dated through college.

We met freshman year. We dated for seven years. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's a long time. Yeah. And we dated all through. through college.

At Harvard. Yeah. And then your words not mine. Yeah. So we had, we, she was amazing. I loved her deeply. And I would have thought that we probably would have ended up together. We lived together after college for, for two years.

Oh, you guys have to go on. Yeah. And then she went to medical school very selfishly and became, to become a cardiologist. and I suspect that she'll be very good at that. She ripped my heart out and put it on ice. Oh, no, why did she ruin my life? Princess. You don't understand.

I don't know how much you're joking, but every single man we have in this podcast got his heartbroken by his college girlfriend and never recovered. Every single one of them is like, I have one relationship in college. And we're like, did she break your heart? And they're like, yes. And we're like, and now you can never commit again.

Like it's tail as old as time. Yeah. Well, yeah, I agree. I was so full of hope and bounty. And now I'm just a wasteland of emotional. It's a drought. It's a drought. Anyway, no, she's absolutely lovely.

I know she's doing very well. I tell jokes. But we, as far as the mistakes that I made in that relationship, I think I was too young to really understand my feelings. and to just like be cool about it. Just fucking be cool, man. Just be cool. And I overanalyzed everything.

I was so neurotic and hyper and blew everything out of proportion. And I also was not that loyal. I think we had periods where we weren't together. You know, we tried to keep it going when she went to medical school. There was distance. We were both seeing some other people. And it just ended. It was almost like, you know, in a fireworks show,

there's supposed to be like, it was like things fizzled out and then exploded in one final grand finale of hysterics. Yeah. At my five-year reunion for college, we both went to that. And that was really, I just had a meltdown. But lost a lot of weight then. That was the breakup or that was like, you saw her there. Saw her there.

That was when it became abundantly clear for the final time that we were not going forward. And then after that was definitively over, I started hooking up with everybody. Okay. I just, I was a total S-U-L-S-L-U-T. How are you finding women? I can't imagine having sex with you. Jeez. I know.

You're so much taller than me. Oh, really? Yeah, it's the jokes, maybe. Is that that much taller than you? All right, maybe we'll have sex. I don't know. Well, hold on. My jokes make it.

possible for you. I feel like you would tell Joe's during sex. That would be fun. In an uncomfortable way. Yeah. I don't know. I'm with you. I don't know about bringing.

Like I do. Humor into the bedroom is weird. It's so distracting. I mean, I think you can be laughing in the bedroom, but you're not doing like. Yeah. No,

right. You shouldn't. So you got it. You like had this terrible breakup and then went. Then I, then I was single for the first time as a young man. Wow. Yeah.

And I had never, I hadn't been single. 18 or whatever. So I was 18 and even then I was still like, you know, you don't become yourself. So now at 24 or 25 I was thrust into the wild and I went out to Montauk for that summer

and oh my God. You just slayed everything. It was just like an assembly line of women with low self-esteem just taking turns sitting on me. Oh my God. You never came up for air. It was so unfair. have low self-esteem. People hated me. They hated themselves. Who knows? Nobody left feeling better.

They did after France got done with them. Oh my God. Yeah, they didn't come in with low self-sum. No, they did. They certainly, well, you know, maybe you're right. Okay. So you turned to a manhor. Yes, we noted. Uh, makes sense. But we feel like that's a good place to wrap this up. And we want to play this game with you. Great. I could do this all day. I would be so sad when this is over. Maybe we could do some supplementary content for people. I got to do something in two hours, but otherwise, I would have stayed here all day with you guys. Yeah, we'll have you back. We're going to come on your podcast.

You and I have our monthly show at the stand. There are so many opportunities. Cross collaboration. But do you have any closing remarks on our topic? Of, like, mistakes that you've learned from past relationships. And I think, I think one thing I would say is that cheating I've learned is not good and obviously. but you should be able to grow out of the urge to cheat. It's something I've learned.

I love that you said that because there's this old adage, I didn't know how to say that word, I didn't go to Harvard, of once a cheater, always a cheater. I think you're cheating at 30. You are maybe a cheater. Yes. But I don't necessarily believe that cheating in your early 20s, and doing bad things when you're in that young age

means that's who you are and you are going to be as an adult. I completely agree. I completely subscribe to that. You could be, but I like that you said that because we have a lot of younger listeners and I don't know that your boyfriend that's kind of a dick at 21

and he's cheated on you would be like that at 30. Not that it matters. And we talk about it all the time. How does the person talk about the cheating? When they talk about it, they act like it was a shameful thing and I was young and I was an idiot.

Yeah, that's probably somebody who doesn't want to do this anymore. And I'm like well into my 30s. So it's like if a guy I'm dating is like, have you ever cheated? And I cheated on my boyfriend at 18. I don't even need to tell you that. I was a different. I was a kid. It's like the same thing as like tweeting inappropriate shit. Yeah, you do grow up. Yeah. I completely agree. Sorry, I hijacked your thing. No. I actually have been wanting to talk about this and we haven't really discussed it yet. And I love that you said that. Yeah. I think that that is exactly right. Now, I would also say to your younger listeners, if there's a 22 year old young woman out there and her

boyfriend is cheating on her. If she hears this and thinks, well, he'll be fine by 30, that's not necessarily true. Absolutely. This is not an adage to stick around and wait for them to grow up. Absolutely. I agree with you that like if somebody says to you when they're 35, yeah, you know, I had some indiscretions. I was 22. I feel bad about it. I was a dick college kid. Okay. Absolutely. You grew out of it. I think that by the time you're 30, you will meet more men who will be less likely to cheat. Yeah. Because that just comes with age.

They're tired. But don't, like, I think that if you're with somebody who cheats on you now and you stay with them, they're much more likely to, like, do it again and do it through into perpetuity. Yes, exactly. So you're right. I don't want to send that message. Like, just wait it out. That's not what we're saying.

I don't think that's what the message was at all. I think the message is just like people do shitty things when they're younger and they grow up. Right. Yeah. Like, yeah, it doesn't really, I don't know. I just think there's this, there's this time in your life. I don't really know what it is when you just kind of grow. grow up. And for me, I mean, maybe that was like 26, 27. Like, I kind of even look back at stuff

I did 24, 25. I'm not proud of. Right. But I would never dream of doing. Like, people got hurt. You know, I just don't, not physically, you know what I mean? Emotionally. Heavens. Someone broke their arm. I used to beat people up. I was just kidding. But we are going to wrap up with you. We like to play a game with everybody at the end of the episodes. And so we tailor them to different people. With you, we're going to play this game called mansplaining. Great. We're going to give you. We're going to give you. examples of men's behavior, you're going to explain to us why your kind does these things. Sure.

We crowdsourced some great stuff from our listeners. We have a couple emails. I pulled a few. We'll see how they go. I'm fascinated by some of this male behavior. Okay. We're going to hit you with a few just quick ones that people were able to fit in like an Instagram question. So I'm going to start with this one that I like so much, Raina that I read you earlier. Are you, you have the doc pulled out? Yeah, okay. All right. She writes, you text a guy drinks tonight question mark he responds lots ha ha is he just dumb or not into it either the dumbest guy on earth or the biggest burn on earth like that's what I said earlier when read this I was like he's either he's probably not into it 90% chance he's not

into it 10% chance he is just real dumb it's such a great exchange oh my God, I love it. That, I have, like, whiplash. Like, if I text the guy drinks today and that's what he wrote back, I would be like, fuck me. I know. It's, it's so innocent. Like, she asked him out.

She, like, you know, put herself out there. Yeah. And for him to think, okay, let's play out both scenarios, right? Let's say that, let's say that he is under the impression that she is asking, are you drinking this evening? Yeah. And he said, in great quantity, right? He's saying lots, right?

Is that that's how you guys take it? Yes, he took that. Okay, I keep going. Sorry. So that's one way to take it, right? Is that he says, yeah, it's funny you should ask. I actually am having a lot to drink. You're spot on.

And then, and then the other way to take it is that he knows she's asking him out on a date and he is deflecting in a kind of non-hurtful way that makes, he's playing dumb. I don't really hate it from his end because he responded. he didn't leave her hanging and he sent the message. I don't like you. Well, but that's so much. We have no idea. If I were the woman,

I think I would send a like a ha, ha, ha, ha, I meant want to get drinks tonight. You would? Oh, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would read that. You guys.

I would be like, I would think he's not into me. I wouldn't follow up and be like just to confirm you're not into me. You're not into me, right? She asked him out with a fragment. her sentence it's not a sentence drinks tonight there's no subject there's an implied subject so it could easily be misunderstood by the guy i wonder what the punctuation wise okay there's a right francis you are kind of right because guys are dumb yeah i think you need to ask a follow-up question i personally would

be like i think i got the message man that is respectfully that's very cynical like okay it could be very innocent and the fact that he responded it means that he's not just like i don't know Trying to write her out. I don't know. Now I don't know what to two. Did this happen to you? No. I'm just,

I'm trying to decide how I really feel about it. I would hope the guy would say like lots, ha ha, what are you up to? Yes. Like you're open for me to be like, oh, that's fair. When guys like you,

I feel like if a guy really likes you, you reached out to him, talked about, you said the word tonight. I feel like a guy that likes a girl is going to be like, oh, what's up?

Yeah. It's almost like he said, you know it. Yeah. Like he's drinks tonight. you know it. You know I'm drinking. You know my habits. She could be like where and what time. Yeah. Okay. I have a question. Why do guys finger bang you without ever touching your clit?

Huh. Why do guys finger bang you, Raina, without ever touching your clit? I think sometimes we think that the clitoris is extremely sensitive. I've had experiences where women went into like what what appeared to be cardiac arrest or epileptic fit. And I felt I must stay away from that zone. Clearly the birth canal is the better passageway to explore. I'm doing an Instagram story while he's doing it. He creepily looked at the camera. We're going to share this for you guys.

It's very funny. Yeah. I think I should just stick my fingers of the birth canal. look, you know, you're, also, it's like, that's where the, the penis goes. And so you think, you know, that's, that's probably, the, the clitoris is a more mysterious little devil. Yeah. But, uh, do you feel like you have a good handle on it? I think I have a good sense of it. Okay. Um, I've also, you know, I've, I've read a lot of like puberty books. That was my porn growing up in our house. Oh, your body yourself. I had an older sister. Yeah. And my parents would.

sort of buy these what's happening to my body for girls. Okay. And then leave them around the house. They also bought what's happening to my body for boys. Leave them around the house. So it's not to embarrass us by handing them and be like, read that idea for parenting. My mom gave them. Hot parenting tip, guys.

Right. I would read the women's one, which was full of diagrams. Nipples. Arioles. Ariola. And, you know, phlegeloms. Yeah. Who might have been an explorer.

I don't know. Yeah. I think he found America. Is that right? Well, I don't know. I'm kidding. I think it's a different book that you were reading. Well, my point was, I used to use those to masturbate because I was too afraid of the family computer in the footprint of the history.

Yeah, that makes up. And you got to dial up. Right. Just getting you're younger than us, but. So I, biologically, thanks to my masturbatorial habits, I actually understood women inside it out. Okay. Here's one for you. Okay.

Why do men think they deserve an award for doing the dishes one time? Because they were not raised in households where. the parents' duties were balanced. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Like in my household, you know, if my mom cooked dinner, dad had to do the dishes. Same. I remember, I remember which duties were.

Yeah. And frankly, we, the kids, did the dishes. So I'm very used to doing dishes. And I would say that I do more than half of the amount of dishes. But on like a lighter note, I just think it's funny. Like, I always joke, like, men, they do like the bare minimum and they want you praise them. Like, there's that meme we love that it's like every woman I know is balancing a career and this and that and doing all this stuff. And like the man makes a reservation one time for dinner and the restaurant was closed. It's just one of those like funny things. I think men. And again, not all

men. Hashtag not all men. Right. I think that that frankly, there is such a funny narrative out there that men are just so useless that we feel if we do something good that we are going against the curve. And we're surprised. you and we want to be noticed for it. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yes. It's like I get the joke and look, I didn't, I didn't commit a crime here.

Yeah, guys are like, you're going to say we're useless. Guess what? We're going to be useless. No, I'm just kidding. Okay, I have a funny one. These make me laugh because, like, I know this happened to somebody and that's why she's like, I can envision this happening. This girl wrote, um, okay, so man's playing this to me,

why do guys cough so much after they orgasm? What? I've never experienced. experience that. That's why I loved it. No, this is like very specific to this girl. Why do you, maybe he just had a cold. Maybe he just had a cold.

Maybe you get a cold. All right. I like this one. This is funny. Yeah, the ones that are just random or funny. Why do you guys suck at giving back massages? All my girlfriends are way better at them than boy,

than my boyfriend is. I think that's just a, yeah, that's just like a commitment thing. Also, also get some, uh, cream involved.

It totally changes it. It makes it a lot easier to give someone a back rub. Loat lotion or oil. I use like this. I actually have this really good, uh, like, CBD cream.

Oh, yeah. And I like give my girlfriend a neck rub with that. Oh. But I also know that if I give her a good neck rub, she is going to give me a great, you know, back or neck rub. A blow job. Well, mm-hmm. Not so much.

Not that. Yeah, they've been together too long for that. A massage on your penis. This made me laugh so hard because I can do like a CBD massage on your penis. A little CBD dick rub. I don't like it. It's sort of nummy. Yeah.

I don't like on my hands. I used it on my hands the other day. CBD cream? I'm working with the company now. I like it. I love this question. It made me laugh so hard. It's such like a female like matter from Mars. Why do men pretend they have no idea what you're mad about and then ignore that you're mad?

Uh, can, let's let's like come up with an example of this. Yeah, I'm trying to help illustrate that point. I don't know. Like your girlfriend is upset about something. She's clearly making it obvious. She's marching around with a little attitude problem and you are, you, you

clearly know what she's mad or if you're on a road trip she's sitting in the car like this she's like looking out the window body language knees away the knees have to be away i mean i think like most people like nobody's gonna deal with something until you make them deal with it that's exactly right so you're putting that on the woman i kind of yeah i think that if you're i mean i'm jewish i never met a feeling i didn't want to talk about so like i'm not i've never ever in my life that's tons of stuff wrong with me but like i've never stomped around like a little bitch and pouted and then been like you need to ask me what's wrong right that's never the move.

That's never helping that. I'm upset because of this. Let's talk about it. I think that's such a healthier way to do it. Yeah. And if you're doing some sort of weird like mating dance where the intent is to get him to ask you what's wrong, the issue lies with you. And you're the problem.

I know the answer to this one, but I'll ask it to you anyway. Why don't men respond to the whole text message? And here's what I think she means. There's multiple things to respond to. one text message and you can't send a man a message like that. I got a great response to this. Great. When did we get to the point where we were sending 14 text messages in a row that could easily

have been one text message? Oh, so you don't like 14 or like a paragraph. If you've ever sent me, but enter and sent that. And then more, like, fucking don't. No, not that. Just put it all together. You want it all together. You want a redline it.

You'll answer everything in it? Like an email. Okay, wow. And there will be five questions and I'll go, I'll do the most recent one. But you can't expect me to go back into the history of the conversation. If you flooded me with too much information, I can't handle it. I don't think it's a bad thing. But that's a phone call.

Here's what I think. If you have, you need to also. see how your partner is responding to your text messages. If you're dating them, you know how they are. Some guys are really communicative. They will text with you. If you write them like, hey, how's your day? And then two more questions. They'll go through the red line. I'll answer every single one. If not, then you need to separate text message. Thirdly, if it's more than three things, call them on the phone. Absolutely. Phone calls are great, but I'll add this. Keep those as short as they should be. Okay. Oh my God. I was on a city bike.

I ride them all the time. My girlfriend called me. I said, hey, what's up? I'm on a city bike, which should be code for. This is dangerous. You're putting me in peril if you continue this conversation with me. And she just started telling me about her day. No.

As if I wasn't riding with one hand, dodging. She's testing your love. Oh, God. I wouldn't answer. I'm not, no one's worth that risk. I can't talk on the phone to ride a bike. Right? I can't even ride a bike.

I can't ride a bike at all. It's so Jewish. Do you not have air? I don't know about it being Jewish. I regret it. That is exactly right. Too many text messages. I don't like that. I don't know. Some of these are really funny. We don't have to like unpack all them. But like this one girl said, why do guys have to touch their dick if their pants are off? I don't understand that question. Like if I'm butt naked, I'm touching myself probably. I'm always touching my kids. Wait, I don't know. I don't understand the question. I know what she means. She's like like our hands fall to rest comfortably around our. dick. Okay. There's something about like, I don't know, that's just where your hands kind of go.

Right. But I don't, like when they're watching TV, is that what she's saying? Or she's saying during, if you're in your boxers, like, if you're in underwear. I read you the whole thing. I think that she just means like, yeah, they're naked. They're walking around. They're touching their dick. I think it's a protection thing.

Okay. You guys just want to protect it at all times. Yeah. Just like, no, there's some sort of force field. Protect your mochy worm. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, we're going to wrap up.

Oh, my God. We know you're sad. You want to keep going. It's so much fun. But we'll see you tonight. Yes, I'll see you guys tonight. Is this your favorite podcast? It's my favorite one I've ever done.

Thank you so much. Even over your own? I don't. I don't know. Yeah, it's not as good. Ours is not as good as yours. So you'll get there. Hopefully someday.

Okay, well, plug your stuff. Thank you so much for having me. Hey, call her, excuse me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I did that to you guys before, by the way. And that time I did it on purpose. I was thinking of doing that the whole episode. And I got it.

you. Um, so, uh, hey fans of, uh, girls got to eat. This is Francis and my stuff is this. Uh, at Francis C. C Ellis on Instagram at Francis C Ellis on Twitter. Just a typo. Can't fix it. verified. Um, there's two C. One has the Instagram has two C's. The Twitter only has one C. But is your middle names are the C? It does. Oh, so it's Francis C Ellis. On Twitter. That's correct. Instagram. I have two Cs. And that's just superflu. Lewis. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, but also more importantly, check out our podcast. It is called Oops the podcast. It's me, Julia Golarotti. He's incredibly handsome. And we would love to have you listen to it because we need help. Oh, I thought he was going to say, come on it. But, well, hold on. Absolutely. He pointed at me.

He's like, we would love you to be a listener. No, no. I meant to, I meant to the to the fans out there. Yeah, you guys check it out. I mean, make sure you're all caught up on ours before you go listen to their podcast. But if you're done with ours, you've listened to ours every episode twice. Go check out oops. Yeah, give it a listen. We really appreciate you guys. It's been really fun with you. Thank you. It meant a lot to me. Thank you so much. It meant a lot to us too. And Ashley will take us out. Yeah, guys also follow us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram. Girls underscore Gotta eat on Twitter. Girls GottaEatop Podcast.com or Stupid LiveShows.com for all of our live shows. We will see you at all of them. Subscribe rate review. And we'll see you next week. Bye guys. Bye.