Girls Gotta Eat - "If He Wanted To, He Would" with Niko Emanuilidis of The Daddy Academy

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

If you want to stop f*cking around with f*ckboys and lock down a daddy, this episode is for you! We are joined by Niko Emanuilidis (the Dean of The Daddy Academy) to explain some of that confusing male behavior and give tips and tools for how to get what you want. He explains how a healthy, confident man pursues a woman, shares the truth behind "If he wanted to, he would", answers the question "Should I follow up on date plans if I haven't heard from him?", and outing guys who are running a roster. We also talk about "indicators of interest" and why they're important, why you shouldn't give the "girlfriend experience" too soon, and the misconception of guys just being dumb/aloof in dating. Before Niko joins us, we spill some Love is Blind tea, Rayna has a hair extension update, and Ashley finally shares the long-awaited prom dress story. Enjoy! Follow Niko on TikTok @thedaddyacademy and Instagram @nikoeman. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for more info and shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Hungryroot: Get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life at hungryroot.com/GGE. Buffy: Get $20 off your order at buffy.co with code GGE. AG1: Get a free one year supply of vitamin D3K2 and ten free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So when it comes to like a man who's running a roster, right? And the way to sort of tell if you're on one or not is... Welcome back. I've got to go on for you today, you guys. We do. You know what? I'm going to open with some tea. What is it?

Do I know that? Of who we were maybe going to have today. I'm going to say it. I'm going to start strong. We were going to have Trevor from Love is Blind, who was like big meathead mullet man. Because you guys are dying for our Love is Blind recap. It is coming.

Yeah. But, you know, he's kind of like on the market. I thought he would be a good person to have. Seems like an angel. Yeah, he seemed like such an angel. I was like so into his vibe on the show. And we had him like ready to go. And then all this stuff came out about him having a girlfriend the whole time.

The screenshots were released. I think Tessa, you sent it to us, didn't you? Tessa is always two steps ahead. Yeah, she always is. And she was just like, I don't know. We should look into this. And, you know, there had been things come out about the. cast members that weren't real. So we were like, well, let's investigate it. It looked very real.

It was like a lot of text messages. There's been a lot of allegations of cast members being in relationships. Yeah. Some are substantiated and some were not. Yeah. So we have been dealing with the publicist who also just kind of fucked us a little bit. She did me dirty. Yeah. So it's like, I don't care. I'm spilling this tea. And we were like, hey, what's going on with this? You know, we saw this. And this will not bode well for him to come on our show. And, you know, like, we're not in the business of like, let's have someone come on and just like hold their feet to the buyer. Ashley will let me have Tom Sandoval on.

I don't want him on. Do you guys want this? I keep saying no. I'm like, I don't want him on our show. I don't want to give him a platform. I don't care about him. I find him like just someone I don't even want to talk to. Also, I just, it's over for me.

Well, you keep asking me. And I don't want it. Like, maybe you Brandon can do a solo. I just don't think he's been on every other podcast. Listen to Nick Fial, light him up. We've talked about this having solo episodes where you get to pick us. Yeah. And I would have Shaq.

And Raina would have Standaball. So anyway, so we, like, message to public. and she was like, yeah, unfortunately, I think this is true. And we're like, okay. So anyway, I'm sure people know that this is true. And this might not even be a big deal. I mean, he's not someone that, like, made it to the engagement round. But, like, how to girlfriend the whole time?

And, like, you read those text messages and it's like, why do people think they can get away with this? Like, it's going to come out. I mean, it's a big deal to me in the sense that, like, a lot of people applied for the show who had positive good intentions and did not get cast. And somebody who was in a relationship doing this, I don't, for Instagram, followers or whatever, like, got on this show and got past people that, like, actually probably would have been, like, deserve the hype. Like, it's, it's a bummer to me.

It's so weird to be the girlfriend on the other side of that. Like, okay, babe, go off and just go get famous for us. What? Like, what is the vibe there? It's like, do what, build our life together. Like, you're not going to get that famous. It's like, you're not, it's not even like that anymore. You know what I mean?

With, like, season six of this show. Like, there's no, like, let me. You just run off and get engaged to someone else so I can make us that money, baby. You just wait for me till I come home. It's like, what she's going to do is get on TikTok? Also, what money are you going to make? You're going to get a couple of Instagram deals maybe and a bunch of women sliding into his DMs offering to suck his dick. I don't want it.

I'm just speculating that that's the conversation. But I just find all of it, like, kind of pathetic. I know. I don't like it. And I don't like that it took the spot from somebody that I would have enjoyed watching on TV and deserve the hype because I was like, what an angel. I know. Anyway, that's the tea. That's what's going to be.

I mean, I have receipts. So, what is it, the truth? Is the ultimate defense? I want to be messier. Who else do you want to turn to the bus? Well, when I think back to like, we kept it so classy with all that Chelsea Handler stuff, and there was so much more we could have said about her publicist. Oh, we could have burned it to the ground.

Yes. We could have really burned it all out of the ground. And maybe one day we will. I want to be messier. I don't give a fuck. We are trying to play it too nice. Where does that get us? The Chelsea Handler tea would have been so good.

I'm sorry, you guys. The moment passed. She was on the show years ago. She was a bitch. No, it was just that she just like dragged us. Drag us. Publicly. Yeah, it was just very odd.

If you know, you know. But the way her publicists tried to spin, it was like shocking. These publicists. The receipts that you and I have been given. I know. And then we're always like, take the high road. I'm done with that. I just like, who are you guys hiring that puts the stuff in writing?

Yeah. When they go low, I want to go lower. I'm just trying to leave more room on the high road. road for you guys. Yeah, if you guys want to take the high road, I'll take the road less travel. That's my tattoo. Okay. Anyways, let's talk about some people that do support us that we love for wonderful. And that's you guys, but also the sponsors of the show. Thank you to Buffy for supporting girls got to eat. Buffy makes award-winning betting that is soft on you and soft on the earth.

For $20 off your Buffy order, visit Buffy.com and enter promo code GGE. And thanks to AG1 for supporting GGE. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3. K to and for a limited time, you'll get 10 free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash ggee. Yes, and thanks to a new partner, HungryRoot for supporting Girls Got to Eat. Right now, HungryRoot is offering our girls got to eat audience 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to hungry root.com slash gGEe. I am so hungry after scrolling their website. I know. I'm going to leave so bad and go eat my box. I've been having some issues with that. Like looking at food stuff late at night when I'm starting to get a little hungry.

It's just it's a problem. So last night infatuation in L.A. posted the best bagels in L.A., which is an oxymoron. No, I'm just kidding. It is. But some of them look so amazing. They try their best. It's never going to be New York. But you've been telling me about Layla Bagels, which is in my new neighborhood where I'm moving on March 15th. And so I was looking them up. I was just like foaming at the mouth. It's really good. And you got to do a bang, bang with Lela and Gianne Isaac Bakery, which is next door. And you try both the same. time. That's my favorite thing. A bang bang? A bang bang. You don't know about a bang bang? What? It's just like a double team. Yeah, you just do like two places at this like back to back. A bang bang bang. You don't know this term? Oh. Do you know this term? I know her term. What's my? A muck bang is different. Muckbang. Oh, well, so my boyfriend recently confessed to me that he likes to watch muckback.

Oh no! Not like sexually. He just really likes watching them like eat all this food. He's like I'm into it. And it makes him hungry. That is so funny. What is like his brand of muckbang? I don't know. Is he like like Asian food or tacos? Is he like a specific cuisine? Oh, I thought it was like mostly Asian food. Is it not? It can be anything? I think so. I thought that it came from that culturally. I thought, but you could do it with whatever. No, I see there's an ASMR hot honey fried chicken. It's a Korean word. Right. So yeah. Like culturally, but I'm sure like white people have appropriated it and they're doing it with like pizza or something. Absolutely. Yeah. Just like drunk white men at frats. Yeah.

Anyways, you got to do a bang, bang. You just do two places and what's different. You don't do it on the internet necessarily, although I don't do much. It's not on the internet. But you don't have to. But yes. And I have been like following some more L.A. food people because I came to you one day and I was like my whole Instagram feed is New York food. That's also making me hungry.

But this is pointless. You know, like I can save some these posts here and there, but I need like good L.A. food people. So you've introduced me some people and I've been crushing it on the food front. Hungry in L.A. This guy, Eddie. Yeah. He's good stuff. Okay.

Do you want to talk about your hair? Yeah, you guys are probably on YouTube. watching how beautiful I look and thinking, how did she do it? And it's Mary Kate O'Connor. She's from Benjamin Salon here. I got permanent hair extensions, you guys. If you've been a fan of the podcast for a long time or a short time, you know that my clip and hair extensions are always sticking out,

constantly just popping out of my put. They're hard to manage. And I have, like, thinning hair because I've been hammering my hair with hot tools. But anyways, I asked, like, what was a good place in L.A. for extensions. A lot of people mentioned Mary Kate, and she suggested carrot and tips, which are sort of like they glue each piece on. It takes a long time.

It's like four hours. You feel like, am I still alive? Right. How have I survived this long? I'm so strong. Totally. But yeah, they're permanent. I think you change them like every three or four months.

So less than you change like that track. And I don't know. I'm loving it. I feel like every morning I wake up with this long mermaid hair and I feel just like beautiful and confident. It's really fun. It's amazing. It's so nice. I love the way it looks.

I'm so glad you're happy with it. Yeah. I'm thrilled. That's a journey. That four hours. You're just like all I've done is sit here. So why am I the most tired I've ever been in my whole life? I know.

I'd honestly rather like walk for four hours than like sit in a salon chair. I know. And you're talking to so many people. And you've never looked uglier. Did you see my Instagram story? I literally wrote I've never looked uglier. There's no uglier time than when you're in a black cape, hair slicked back. And then something about 95 foils.

And I only 10 times the size I thought I was. Like, I'm like, are those my legs? Why do my calves look like a mountain climber? Is this what other people see? when they see me? I'm like, I'm a linebacker when I'm in that salon chair. Not that there's anything wrong if you're built like that, but I'm just like, what happened to her? Other people are in and out and you're like, don't look at me. I look 85 in the face. Yes. I'm like, why even get Botox if I'm going to look like this? I hope they do face surgery while I'm still sitting here because this is

gross. All my Instagram stories were me with the camera in front of my face. You just like can't see my phone. Or with the phone in front of my face. You can't see my face. I got there, you guys. Anyways, I love it. I really can't recommend it enough. And her, she just was fun to talk shit with and she does regular hair extensions too like tracks but it was really fun i just i feel really like listen i'm a confident ass girl normally but it just makes me feel nice i wake up with flowy hair yeah our hair hair is such a thing you know like i'll do my little clippins here and there but you know like even last i was watching the episode last week i was like i can see it i can see that it's not a perfect color match i didn't go and get them died i thought they were perfect but then you get into certain lighting you're like i can

see it like it's just it's always such a journey my hair is thinner it's fine and so they pop out you know like i've order the kind that are for, like, more fine hair, but it's still, it's just like always, I mean, you know, neutral-fell attacking it from within is the best bet I got. From inside the cell. Yeah. Yeah, it also just cuts a little time out for me because I'm always like, I'm curling the extensions, I'm cooking them in, and then I'm constantly fidgeting with my head to make sure that they're, like, in place and, like, are they sticking out or can people see them?

So I don't have to do that now, and I'll give it, like, three months and see how I feel about it. I mean, it's not cheap, so. Yeah. I don't know. But I feel really good and confident. confident and nice. And anyways, that's my rec in LA, Benjamin's salon, Mary Kate, Kate O'Connor. Cute. Cute. I want to get an update from you. Because last week, we were time about bathtubs.

And you said that you would take your last bath in your house. Your first and last this weekend. And you have. We did. We did take a bath. I mean, we had talked about it in advance. He knew I wanted to do this bath thing. Like I had mentioned before this past weekend, my boyfriend came to visit more long distance if you're new around here. And so it was like the last weekend. we would spend in my house in West Hollywood, which is the only house he's ever really been in with me in L.A. And it was just kind of like sad. I don't know. We've had a lot of memories in there. It's just felt like we have our little home and our family and when Azul's there. And so it's just kind of like sad for him to leave and be like this is the last time we're going to be in this house. Meanwhile, though, I'm so excited. I'm like, no, it's going to be so much better. We'll grow our love in another house. Yeah. I'll be closer to the airport, pick your

ass up. And he's just so thoughtful and wanted to make it special. So we did get some like little tea lights and some flowers for the bathroom. And he had ordered bubble bath, but it didn't come in time. So I randomly had some pack of like lavender foam bath. Like it was foamy enough. You were very concerned we didn't have bubbles. You sent me a video of you guys in the bath. I'm just kidding. Yeah. But it didn't look like, well, that's what I want from her. It didn't look if there was any bubbles in the bath. And I was like, don't make the same mistake that I did. It was like foam on the top. But even like hardcore bubbles, they just disappear. Hot take. They do. That bath is also so big. We fit in it perfectly. I mean, I'm 510. He's 6.3. He's 6.

long limbs on both of us and it took him like an hour to fill it up. I was like, what am I even doing while he's in there? Like I just like settled in and watched some curb. I was like, this is going to take a while. No, I'm kidding. But like it just took a long time. So the bath was big. We both fit in it. It was very comfortable. I will say. What'd you do in the bath? We honestly, we'd been out all day. I planned a brewery. That's the hardest word to say. You just got to say it, keep it moving. And you're like, you're wrong. I'm not wrong. But then some thing. I planned a brewery call. Yeah. You didn't even. I didn't. I didn't. You get crawl right.

So we actually did a little brewery crawl in downtown L.A. that I planned because he's a beer guy and there was all these great breweries downtown in the arts district. And so we had been like not drunk, but drinking beers all day. We were just, you know, it's one of those days. You've been day drinking. Nothing like makes you sleepier than a bath. I feel like it's like a Thanksgiving dinner. Like submerging yourself in hot water, I just feel like I'm going to pass out in there. I feel like it's a safety hazard.

I'm not trying to get too dark with it, but I do understand how people drown in the bathtub. Like you get drunk and you come home and you get in the bath. Like, rain, I feel like a body tiredness comes over me. Like, that's why it's not for me. You don't like it. Like, I'd choose a cold plunge any day that, like, energizes you than a hot bath. Like, I think we were both in that bath. Like, oh, my God.

Like, we'd had beers all day. We were like, are we going to pass out in here? And so we, like, made out a little. And then we were like, I can't be in this anymore. What is wrong with me that I had sex in it? It energizes me. That's fine. Like, everybody's different in.

All sounds blacked out. Do you bring wine? Or you were already drunk from the day. We didn't actually bring any alcohol in. there was like a good Spotify playlist that was on. It was like makeout jams or something. It was a nice vibe. You don't need alcohol as much as I do. Last night I didn't drink and I was like, what do people do? Drink? This is crazy. Like I got a bed at like 7 o'clock because I was like, what is the point of even being awake? I'm not drinking this. Well, I'm not drinking this week. It's

Tuesday and I drink on Sunday. But I'm not drinking a lot this week. And I literally was just like, because you know that like I don't think I drink every day, but I drink every day. And I just last night I was like, what do I? I guess I'll go to bed. At seven. Oh, my God. And I actually talk to you longer than I normally do. I talked to you to like 10 o'clock last night. That was crazy.

Normally, I'm not lucid that long. That's what happens. That's what people, they work? No, like at 8 p.m., usually you retire to your chambers and you, like, make sure you you're going all the way up to your little, like, crow's nest with your wine and your pretzel chips. And, like, you're done for the night. That's what I do. I know you don't leave your phone downstairs, but that's why I picture in my head.

It's like she's retired. I am for the evening. I usually put it on the side of my bed. I got those buffy sheets are so comfy. And the helix mattress, it's just like a double whammy. So it's really nice. Anyways, yeah, I'm up in the crow's nest. But you know, like, I'll say like I'm tired and I don't really want to talk anymore.

But like what I mean is like I'm putting, is it a fatwa? I'm putting like a, I don't want to work. You can talk shit to me about people. Not the fatwa. That's what. They're going to die. You're going to die. A curse.

A curse. I'm putting a boundary. Iron curtain. It's something like that. Warratorium. Did I make that out? Let us know in the comments. Anyways, you can talk shit to me after 7 p.m.

But not about work. Yeah. Okay. That's going to bother me. Wait, you know what's really funny is our guest today. So I was going to get on the phone with him to talk about like topics. And he sent me a list of times. And it was like I'm free from like one to two, three to four.

And then nine to 11 p.m. And I called him and he was like, hey, how are you? And I was like, was that a typo? And he's like, no, I'm just up. So I figure I'll just talk. I don't hate it. Made me laugh so hard. I know.

I mean, I sometimes see people recording podcasts late at night, you know, especially if you have like another job or I just see people doing stuff late at night. I mean, the most work stuff I would do late at night would be calls with like the strippers, which would be so weird at like an 8 p.m call with the stripper. I'm like, Tessler you got to get on this. You're sharp at night. I'm not. But by first, like I like to get up in the morning and work and I don't think you would enjoy doing that at 7 a. Yeah. Moratorium.

You just said that earlier. No, I didn't. I said Miranda or something. moratorium Did I make that up? I'm putting a moratorium on work talk. I wasn't thinking that like an embargo. Embargo means it can't come out to later. So like tomorrow.

Like the love is blind. Publicist told me there's an embargo on releasing interviews with the cast even though Nick Viol and everybody else has. Cabosh? Putting the cabash on something is just ending it. Okay.

That's you're barking up the wrong. You're barking up the wrong tree. I'm putting the cabash. Is kabosh Yiddish? put it the kibosh on this. A moratorium, I think, is temporary. Okay. Cabosh is forever. Yeah. That's forever. Like when we put the kibosh on this podcast, we are going to bury people alive on the last episode. Yeah. Think dreams of that. Okay. So I do want to share this prom dress story. I've just, I feel like people are like, we don't care. But I just think, I don't want to lie. I don't want to be like next week and then not ever do it. You know, I want to hold myself accountable. That's how you get people to tune in every week. You're like, next week, we're going to do this. Yeah, people probably, this is click date. People also really want a long-distance relationship episode and we are going to do it soon.

Okay. Okay, but before you tell that story, we're going to do an ad ad business. You guys have to keep tuning in. Blue balling you even more. Okay, so I'm going to tell you about this new partner for us, which I had heard about them and I was so curious about them. So I was so excited to use them and partnering with them. And this is a hungry route. So if you have ever had struggles eating healthy, juggling grocery shopping, meaning your dietary preferences are just not feeling your best,

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to eat listeners 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to hungry root.com slash GGE to get 40% off your first delivery and get your free veggies. That's hungry root.com slash Gigi. Don't forget to use our link so they know that we sent you. And of course, take pictures of the stuff you guys make in your boxes and tag us. Girls Got a podcast on Instagram. And something that I use literally every day of my life for years now is my Buffy bedding. Bubby makes award-winning bedding that is soft on you and soft on the earth. They use innovative design and earth-friendly material to make bedding that is softer, safer, and also better for our planet. So my bed, the guest bedroom, it's all the Buffy breeze sets. So I do the sheets and the

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You're never going to love sleeping on top sheet and sleeping naked more than with this set. Those are your pajamas. I love it so much. And we're going to get as a discount. For $20 off your Buffy order, visit Buffy. co and enter gge that's buffy.co promo code gge for $20 off okay so I'm going to tell this story and if you don't know what I'm talking about basically Kate Kennedy brought it up on our episode with her that was early this year great episode you guys loved it people love it the truth about

millennials yeah and I guess I had told her this just talking in conversation as a friend she was brought it up during the episode and I was like oh I've never shared that story and I was saying I was going to go tell it on her podcast and like do an exclusive but now I'm like that's not fair You guys get to hear it first. I'll still tell it on hers. I did her podcast years ago. I had such a blast. I always, like,

love talking about, like, nostalgia and girlhood and all the things with her. So in my high school, in Smyrna, Delaware, there was a tradition that only seniors could wear white to the prom. So my high school had a lot of, like, really cool special traditions. I mean, nothing like that extraordinary. But, like, our homecoming floats were, like, nothing I've ever seen. Like, we would spend weeks building them, like, puffing each flowers. Like, they looked insane. No one in the state had floats like ours.

Like, you know, we just did things like, you know, we just did things like, you the cheerleaders would decorate the football players lockers and, you know, Spirit Week and all that kind of stuff, like the homecoming parade. Like, I don't know. I just went to very like quintessential kind of small town high school. And I'm sure a lot of people have those traditions too, but one that I've never really heard of. Like, I don't know if you heard of this like for seniors wearing white. No. Yeah. So I was like so excited to wear white for senior prom. I got this giant like princessy. Like I swear it was like a wedding dress. I got at a bridal shop. Like I don't, where else they saw white dresses? I don't know. It's like, it's like, it's like,

Macy's. Bridal shops in the bridal section. But I had this like vision. I didn't even have a date and I had this and I got this dress that was like literal looks like a wedding dress at like a bridal shop in Dover like six months in advance. Like I saw it. I had to have it. I was like mom, that's the one. You know, so I'll post a picture this at some point. I wore it like years later like joking costume wise to like a music festival. This group I used to hang out with who always wore costumes and stuff. So I do have some photos in it. So about a month or two prior to prom, I start hearing like rumblings about some junior girls saying that they're going to wear a white. What? Ashley doesn't like when people write the rules. No, what the fuck are you? No, this is honor the tradition. Respect your elders. This is our school tradition. Like, don't be fucking brats. Like, wait your turn, right? Yeah. So I started being like, what is going on here? You know, when it got back to me and I started like asking some teachers about it, you know, and my favorite teacher, Mrs. Conlin, she was my French teacher. I think she was from the town, had been to high school. And she was like, this is a tradition since I've been in high school.

You asked her if she's heard the tea. Well, I just was like, don't you feel like, don't you feel like, this is a real tradition. You've been here forever. You went to school here too. She's like, yeah, it's a thing. You know, like, fuck that, basically. Or she said it in French. And then, like, other students are talking about and I'm kind of talking to people. And then as the editor of the high school newspaper, I was like, I'm going to write an expose about this. So it starts getting around the school. I mean, I was like in a small town. I forgot that you were the head of the news also. I was. I ran the news at that school. No, I was the editor. I forgot that you controlled the narrative. I controlled the media. I controlled the good. The

liberal media at summer high school. So I'm the editor of the high school newspaper of the Eagle Eye, editor-in-cheek. Right? So I'm like, I'm going to report on this. And so, let me, I'll read the article. I've an article in full right now. Okay, good. My mom found out of my scrapbook.

Okay. Wearing white at prom should remain a senior tradition. And then, so I didn't really want to like get dragged. So I just said by the senior girls on the Eagle Eye stuff. You can credit yourself. I didn't put my name on it. The ghostwriter was all of us. Well, everybody agreed.

And we did collectively contribute. But like I wrote this shit, you know, but I was like, make it a little more. You're the voice of the seniors. Right. Like, I remember like people in the South. Like, they all agreed to this. But I was like, maybe make it a little like easier on myself, right? And, okay, there's something special about wearing white to the prom.

It's a tradition that has been kept exclusively for senior girls for as long as the teachers at Smyrna High can remember. That's not to say that some underclassmen haven't broken the tradition throughout the years, but most have been respectful of this unwritten rule. Senior girls look forward to their senior prom for a lot of reasons, but many look forward to it in part because they get to pick out their perfect white dress. Many wait until they are seniors to get a white dress because they know and respect their tradition. Even though not all seniors choose to wear white, they should still be the only class of girls that has the choice. All of the senior girls that were present in homeroom on Thursday of last week were polled. I forgot I did a poll. You pulled the homeroom.

You were the original Instagram story poll. How'd you pull? All of the senior girls that were present in homeroom on Thursday last week were pulled to see how they felt about the tradition. Did you stand in front of the room and say all the – No, I really organized this poll. How did you tell me about the poll? I can't remember how I did it. I don't, did I go to every home room?

I mean, there's probably, every home room. Well, I don't know. Maybe I sent it out and, like, you filled it out. I can't remember how it did this poll. I just imagine you're standing in front of the room and being like, all in favor, say I. And then you go on the I have it. Yeah. A whopping 80% believed that it is senior tradition to wear white to the prom.

While 19% disagreed and 1% was undecided. One percent. Who disagreed? Senior Trisha Jones stated, I waited three years to wear a white dress. And now it doesn't seem as special because so many underclassmen are doing it. Also, like, I interviewed like, girls who were like, of bitchy, like friends, but I was like, I know Trisha will pop off. You pick the bitchy of ones. And so will Jenny.

Senior Jenny Davis said, I want to wear away to the prom because I think it's a senior tradition. And then I went for the teachers. Many of the teachers at Samarna Highfield that it's also a tradition that should be kept. Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. Mrs. Mary Conlin, who has been a teacher at SHS for 21 years and is also this year's teacher of the year. So I had to throw that in. Give her some street crab. Said that it is a tradition the whole time she was in high school and has been the whole time she has taught here. She stated, I think it's a way to single out the seniors on their special night and make them identifiable at the prom.

She added, I think it should remain a tradition because we're starting to lose a lot of those things on which we look back on. And then a whole bunch of stuff, like, you know, this is a magical night, blah, blah, blah. But you did a lot of work. You had data. You had accolades. Yes. I got a guy, senior John Childs, who also brought kegs to my Halloween party. So shout it to him. He stated it separates the seniors from the underclassman. I think it should stay a senior privilege. Plus my girlfriend is wearing white. Then I got a junior because I want to get, you know, representation for everybody. Junior Michelle Wall is agreed by comedy. Even though I'm an underclassman, I still think wearing white is a senior tradition. I got the one Jewish guy at the school.

Wow, diversity. Senior Jeff Spiegelman, summed up the guy's side by saying, I know that the tradition of wearing white is supposed to be exclusive for senior girls. If I were a senior girl and I knew that underclassmen were wearing white, I would be quite perturbed. Not the Jews. I think he went on to, like, be in politics. Literally, that's the only Jewish person I knew. I went to his Bob-Bitba.

Yeah, he perturbed. Of course, he's going to drop a big word on us. It may not be a big deal to some, but it is to many. It's a tradition that has not yet died, which was proven by our survey. Proven by our survey. You took a survey. And should be respected. If we lose the one tradition that is made to make senior girls feel special on the most magical night of their lives.

Of their lives. And what do we have left? Mike draw. You really, really believed in this. So did the whole school rain out. I feel like you're not on my side. I'm 100% on your side. Okay.

And the award-winning teachers and that Jew and the guy and the junior and all those bitches you interviewed. I am not the one percent of undecided. and I am out of the 80%. Okay. So now, let me also drop this, that our newspaper ran in the town paper. So it was like the last two pages of the town paper. It was a really cool experience. It felt like a real newspaper. Like it ran in the Smyrna Clayton Sun-Times.

So it felt like really legit. The whole town read it, right? So I just, you know, I got to be the editor of that. I like won some awards when I was in high school for my writing because a lot of people saw it. It was very cool. So this runs, right, in the town paper. Okay.

And of course, some of the junior girls were all pissed. but I was like, who fucking cares about these girls? Right. But then some of the moms, like some of the towny moms got all riled up and started writing letters to the editor. And your cute little town and you're like, little do you know, you're writing to me. Like one mom who also was a fucking cunt and like, name her. She was in my neighborhood.

Right. I like, when I was a kid, I was like five, I like left her house crying because the mom was so mean to me. Like fuck this bitch forever. Right. My mom was like, you're never going over there again. She's such a bit. She wrote like a letter to the editor like dragging like me essentially and like the senior The fact that the moms got involved in this is so crazy.

drama in the town. And, like, Corey was like, my mom's friends are, like, talking about this. You know, like, it's a big deal that moms are like, how dare they? Our kids can wear whatever we want, whatever. So, but everyone's on my side. I was like, I'm winning out here. Like, the teachers, the seniors, whoever. Like, I heard some, like, dumb rumors. Some junior girls were going to throw drinks at me on the prom. You know, like, did your mom at any point say, don't do this or I'm proud of you. You should do this. No one was telling you not to do anything. My mom was like, this is part for the course. Like, you know. Her mom's like, Ash was going to Ashley. So people are probably going to, like, throw a punch on you

with the prom. I was like, fucking bring it, bitches. You know, like, I'll stay in up your dress, bitches, like, Carrie. You know, so I didn't have a date this whole time, right? Which I'm like, this is a little weird, but maybe I just show up solo, just like, I run this town, whatever. So then I got a date. We're going to run this town. Yeah, exactly. So, like, I could just show up. I'm like, I don't care about boys or any of y'all. So then I get set up with a date. And he would end up being my boyfriend, the first person I slept with, like, you know, It was like my first, like love, technically, whatever. So, and he just had, like, a lot of swag.

Like, he really resembled Sean Patrick Henry in Save the Lavas dance. And, you know, here I am a white girl. I was like, I am Julia Stiles. You know, like, I'm going to break it down at this dance. Like, remember we thought she just ate up those dance moves back then? So I started to talk to him more and get really excited for prom. And then I'm like, oh, my God, how am I even going to Julia Stiles the dance for in this white princess dress? How am I going to feel his boner when we're grinding?

You know, like, I can't wear this dress. Yeah, you didn't actually think about the dress. I didn't think I was going to have this like swaggy date and nine layers of tool between the two. How if I got to bump and grind with this tool? With his tool through this tool. So I have a meltdown. I remember being in my bedroom and be like, I can't wear that dress. I started to like panic.

Like I can't wear that dress. This like expensive dress I've had for months. Like how can I tell my mom? Whatever. So I just like went crying to my mom like, I can't do this. And I like, I like this guy so much. And like I just can't wear this dress. I like had a full blown meltdown.

And she was like, you are the fucking worst. She's like the town's rooting for you, Ashley. Everybody's rooting for you. So I just begged. I was like, can I borrow some money? I'll pay you back. I'm going to have a summer job, obviously, whatever. And she was finally like, fine, fine.

Just you can take my credit card. Don't tell your father and just deal with this. Whatever. Here's your max you can spend. Let's just go and get the fuck out of here. You know, so I had like a two-day window to get this dress. That was a week of prom. I had a melt-down week of prom.

I had a soccer game, all senior things, whatever. So I had like a two-day window. I had an away game that day. We had to leave the school. So I skipped school after lunch. I went all way up to Christiana Mall, drove like 40 minutes, rolled up in there, rolled up into cachet, saw the loudest, sluggiest red sequin dress, just copped it, grabbed a little bag on the way out, stopped into Macy's, bought a kitten heel, I was back to school by 3.30 to leave for the away game on the bus. So I just found the perfect dress, right? So I had this like red dress. My mom was like, Ashley, are you kidding? She's like, I'm hearing about this article. You're a white dress icon of this town. You wrote this fucking thing, got the whole town riled up. You're going to wear red?

And I was like, I'm destined for greatness. You know, like, I was just like, yeah, I'm going to do it. And I started to get a little worried, like, is this okay? Like, what's going to happen? You know what I mean? And so that's what I wore to prom. I mean, like, on prom night, this girl who had pissed off the whole fucking town in the name of the white dress tradition just rolled up in the loudest fucking red dress. Anyone had ever seen?

And I was just like, it's what it is? It is like president of the United States energy. It is so crazy that you did this. What did people say? People were giving me dirty looks and I shot him right back. You know, I was like, I got this hot date on my arm. You know, I'm bumping and grind into jaw rule. You know, that was the first time I got my pussy eight.

I was like, I'm on cloud nine. I don't give a fuck. Also, it's really, I mean, who's going to be mad at you besides the junior girls? Like, it's funny. It's a funny way to neg people. It's like, I'm just standing up for what's right. I'm not saying I'm going to do it. This is how it should be.

Thank you, sis. Exactly. I never said I was wearing white. Run the tape on the article. And I didn't even run that article. So staff did. Everyone did. Actually, I didn't write that.

I didn't write that article. Prove it. So that is the Congress story. Have you seen it? I mean, don't worry, guys. I'll post pictures of both. But yeah,

I mean, it's just, you can see the cutout here, but it was just like red. It's really red. Yeah, just top red sequence. That was the style that in 2001.

I like this top. Isn't it nice? I know. I feel like it's like a triangle cut, like diamond cut out at the top. Yeah, and it's got a little halter straps at the top and then totally open back.

This is slutty. I know. It's nice. This is really nice. Yeah, I think of course I still have it. Thin dress. Yeah, thin. You can fill that penis through it.

I'm just dancing a nice-ass dress. All my life, I pray for someone like you. And I think I... No. I imagine you walking to prom like, oh, oh, who'll go around this town tonight? Yeah, meanwhile, it's like a Titanic theme, you know. Just like, all you do is by a red dress, actually. Every night in my dreams.

Yeah. So that's a story. And that's just like, I don't know. It's like one of many. Like I was just really just like, I'm going to do me. It was like insubordinate. It could be kind of a brat. But also just like, I don't know.

I didn't mind causing a stir. Like, I don't know. I wanted to be popular and well like, but I was just like, I don't care if you like hate on me. I don't know. It's an energy I did not have growing up. Like it would have scared me to make a big stink about something and then like stand in my power and be like, I didn't say I was going to do this.

I said other people shouldn't do this. But I do think that was like maybe the first taste. of like a hater. You know what I mean? Like clearly that was no social media. Like that was the first time I like did something that got public backlash, you know, and I definitely had mixed feelings about it. Like I was like, this is a little scary. Like moms are like coming at me, you know. But you felt really confident and just being like, fuck you guys, I don't care. Yeah. And I feel like I had everything to back it up. I was like, I got these teachers on my side. Like I win this round. So anyway, that's the story, guys. I love that dress. I'm trying to borrow that dress. I'm trying to borrow that to a

wedding. That's hot. The 90s are back in style. Anyways, I hope you guys love that tea. I hope you like the love is blind tea. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I had more fun talking about it than if he was on the show. This isn't to drag him. It's just, well, I don't actually care.

It's a weird choice. I mean, listen, I don't know him or his story. You know, I just, I didn't see that one coming. People were talking about Jeremy had a fiancé. But he kind of came out and said, no, that wasn't true. Well, he said he broke up a little before. And then some girl said that Jimmy was her boyfriend, but then TikTok sleuths, they prove that to be untrue. Has this ever been said about a woman that she came on the show?

Yeah, a partner now. Maybe one person on The Bachelor, don't you think? Like, maybe a couple years back, like, some, but then I don't even think it was really. Like, this happens to men. I just, I also think that, like, so many people go on these shows with, like, like, the women that went on the shows are also, like, pouring their hearts out. Like, like, a single mother, like, Jess, talking about her feelings and her emotions and pouring their hearts out to somebody who's not going to be with you. Right. It's so unfair. Right. To be that vulnerable to the person. person that is literally there for the expressed purpose of manipulating you. Oh my God.

Yeah. It's just like to be that level of like dishonesty is just like so gross. Knowing you have someone at home and then you're texting them as soon as you get the opportunity. Yeah. People like bring all those like like personal items to like trade with somebody on love is blind. It's just gross to me to like manipulate people like that. I hate it. Yeah.

All right. Well, we're going to think one more partner. We're going to jump into it with a great episode. You know we've been drinking age you one for a while now. And today we've got an extra special office. for you so that you can start optimizing your health for the last couple of years now. We've been drinking AG1 every day, no exceptions. Tink care of your health isn't always easy, but it should at least be simple. It's just one scoop mixed in water once a day, every day, and it makes me feel

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Okay. Raina, so excited to introduce this next guest. I'm so excited. All right, guys, we are very excited to welcome a brand new guest today. He is a dating guru and the voice behind the wildly popular account, the Daddy Academy. The New York Post says this man is teaching guys how to be Daddy's, confident, caring alpha men who aren't brewing in their own angst and how to make women feel at ease. Please welcome to the show, Nico Imalides. Thank you.

Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for being here. We're so excited to have you. I'm excited. Your last name has 19 vowels in it. It's out of control. It's as Greek as it could possibly be. Listen, we love that.

That's a turn on. All right, I'll take it. You're only here because we thought you were hot on TikTok. No, that's fair enough. Speak for yourself. Because Tessa thought you were hot. Hey, I got to get my way in some way. And he's not single everybody, so just keep it in your pants.

But we actually got a lot of requests for you from our listeners as well. We asked on Instagram, specifically what male guests do you want to see? Because there's not a ton of people like you doing what you do. And we really love it. I just said right before we got here, I was watching a bunch of your content and just like prepping. And I sent it to my boyfriend and I was like, we have this guy Daddy Academy coming on the show today.

He goes, what? Like, I think he was like, what are you? What's happening in that room? And I was like, no, you'll really like his content because he really, like, in terms of all the stuff you speak about. You know, he would graduate high from the academy. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that will thank you for having me on.

And yeah, I'm the dean of the Daddy Academy. That's it. Born and raised in New York, you're from Westchester. I'm from Westchester, New York, Faisenville, specifically, born and raised, never left true New Yorker. We love it. All right. Well, tell us a little bit about you.

How did you become the daddy of the academy? How did I become the daddy? That's a great question. So basically the way this kind of all started is just do my own, like, self-help confidence journey. You know, I was a young guy graduating high school. I was never like amazing with women. Like I had confidence. I graduated class clown.

So that's like my claim to fame. But I never like I was I was always texting my friends like, what do I say? What do I say? And just sort of as time went on, I just became really fascinated with the, you know, man to woman, just dating relationships. I started at that time, which was like 10 years ago at this point, maybe longer. I just started looking up, you know, those content creators and like learning about it. And as time went on and I was kind of developed into myself,

I just sort of became like really comfortable. with it. And now I kind of got to a point where I was helping my friends, helping my sister, helping her friends. And I'm like, you know what? There's something here. I've always wanted a platform where I'm helping people, entertaining people, just spreading positivity. And I'm like, the Daddy Academy. So it's a funny name about the story about the name. Yeah, we want to hear about the name. Right. So during COVID, right, it's nothing to do. I was just like going to the gym and stuff. So I was just sending pump up videos to my friends. I'm going to the gym. I'm going to the gym where this is the Daddy Academy baby. And everyone was just like,

dying at the name. I'm like, you know what? That's a really good name. Like there's something to it. It's kind of funny. Got a little something. So that's kind of the name came about. And in the last year or so, I just started posting this content online. Like, you know, wellness, dating. And it took like eight months and, you know, nothing

really was going on. And then one day I made a video about what it means for a man to have daddy energy and sort of just blew up. And now we're here. Yes. Okay. What is daddy energy? Give it to us, Daddy. Oh, I'll tell you exactly. I feel like your girlfriend's going to hunt me down. You just be like, you got to stop this bitch. Stop.

No, no, no. All right. So I got to give a little context. So a lot of the content out there for men nowadays is basically either you're an alpha male. So you're super macho man, right? Or you're a beta male. You're a bitch. Okay.

So to me, that's not very like digestible for guys because not every guy resonates with being like, you know, macho man. And neither do women's wants. Exactly. What woman wants either? No, no, you're good. You're good. So I'm like, you know what? Women.

love like who's somebody online that women love right pagero pascal right he's the daddy of the internet wow yes right no no there's science to this yes science to this so a man who's in his daddy energy right he's masculine right he's not hyper masculine because there's a spectrum of masculinity that women like find attractive right he's about his purpose he's trying to achieve the goals in his life he's he's about his physical fitness whatnot right but he's the lens that he's going through life with is through the lens of love, giving, spreading positivity and good vibes, right? It doesn't take life too seriously. Okay, he's the type of guy where he walks into a room.

Everybody wants to be his friend, men, women. People just gravitate to him because he's this beacon of light and fun and good vibes. That's what women find attractive, not these guys with the podcast you sit around the table. Let's talk about how women are all shit. Well, they're disrespecting women. Like, at the end of the day, like you can do both. You can be nice. Takes two to tango.

So why are we going to sit around a roundtable and just talk bad about women and what they do? Women not know what they want, right? So I'm hoping with the Daddy Academy sort of be that middle ground for men to kind of learn about their authenticity. Like, okay, I don't have to be all the way on this side to be attractive and for women to like me. Like if I just tap into my authenticity, work to be the best version of myself that I could be, work on my physical fitness, my passions in life, strive to be. Then that's attractive. and then just learning like little tips and tricks, obviously.

And then I could easily, you know, find a woman who's going to love that. So like, that's my messaging to men. Yeah. So women, it's okay. Let's take a look at these guys you're dating. Okay, because the dating pool isn't fantastic. But let's look at these guys you're dating. And from those early stages, we could really tell,

is this man truly prioritizing you for something serious or not based on his actions and how he's kind of going about things? So that's what the Daddy Academy is about. I love, we both do, the clips and really straightforward advice. And it's not flippant. It's not dismissive. It's just this is what's probably happening in these situations. And here's how you can pivot your behavior or expectations to find somebody who is a real daddy. Exactly.

That's right. We're trying to find daddies. We're trying to make more daddies. The world just needs more daddies in general. I mean, this is the thing I talk about all the time where, and I do feel like I found somebody that I feel like is very rare. But it shouldn't be. It's somebody that is masculine and also is. emotional and treats me well and it respects, you know, it's like, and you think of like, oh, my God,

this insane dichotomy. It shouldn't be that rare. Like, you shouldn't have to choose Andrew Tate or, I don't know, who's the- Timothy Shalame. But Timothy Shalamey is giving daddy energy now, I feel like. I hear your point. I'm trying to think of, like, a better example. So, yeah, we just love what you're doing. And I do want to flag one thing. You said you had a sister, which I think is very important. You know, you're not, you don't get to choose that. But I feel like I've been having this conversation a lot about, like, guys who have sisters even older or younger sister i have a younger sister and that's something i've talked about a little bit i feel like a man who has a younger sister like three to five years younger he kind of grows up with that natural sort of like protector role and like knows how to like treat well i played

barby dolls you know how many Barbie dolls i've played with and then like the the Barbie dream house and the car i take my godzilla toys and put them in the Barbie car and we drive around so it's like men who have a younger sister kind of grew up tapped into their feminine energy, but in like a healthy way in that like sort of protector way. So I've noticed that a lot with men with younger sisters that they tend to like treat women. And then older sisters, I mean,

I read an article recently and men with older sisters because then you grow up respecting this female that's not just your mom. You know, you have these guys that are like, they're terrible guys, but they're like, but I love my mom. You know, I feel like sometimes when guys go too hard on their mom, it's just a cover up for hating women. You know, like, but you know, my mom and it's just like...

All fuck boys are obsessed with their mom. Yes, they use it as a get out of jail, freak car, ever being shitty to all other women. Yes. But yes, an older sister, like, my brother got to see a woman who was, like, strong. He's so proud of me. He's so impressed by this stuff I do.

And he was always my parents' favorite, so I look up to him too. But we like you sort of, like, look at these questions that women ask and just say, like, this person isn't into you. And, like, let's pivot to find somebody who is almost. And I was talking to you before this. Nationally, we were looking at your content and some of the different things, like, if he wanted who you would and men having a roster. And so we do want to get into some of these behaviors and have you,

for lack of mansplanas. We'll get into it. I'm ready. Yeah. I mean, I feel like just let's start with this if he wanted to, he would thing. And because everything kind of trickles down from there and then how a healthy masculine man pursues a woman. This is all kind of tied in and like the intentionality and things like that. Yeah.

So this is what I would say about it if you wanted to, he would. Okay. It's true 98% of the time. Right. Except it. It is. The only exception here is if you have this man who is, you know, he has a, you know, he has his own business.

He's pursuing this goal that takes a lot of time and mental energy. Like you have to give a guy a little bit of a pass there, but you also have to read the situation. Okay. Is this guy truly running a business striving for this goal? Or is he the 8 a.m. guy at Planet Fitness. Right. Right. You got to look at get the whole story. See the whole picture from the way that he's acting, the way he behaves.

Like really like, you know, look at his socials. Get a vibe for this man. And then you could tell the truth. if he's truly a man who's after this passion and this goal, or if he's just using that as like an excuse to blow you off. But if you wanted to, he would is true. Like I said like 98% of the time. Like, and if he's not prioritizing you, it might not be another woman,

but there's something else that he's prioritizing. It could be whatever it is. But if he wanted to, he would is 100% true. Any man who has a girlfriend knows like when you meet that woman who you want to make your girlfriend, like you're going to make it happen. And that's just a fact. Everybody, if they wanted to, they would. I have people who try to come visit me.

And I'm like, I would confirm this if I wanted you to stay with me. I don't want you to stay with me. Yeah. If I wanted to make plans with you, I would. Like, if I wanted to text you back, I would. I think that's just normal human behavior. And I think that there's exceptions to every rule. And we don't want people to feel like they have no agency.

Like, everybody should feel like they're in the driver's seat. And you can initiate a date, initiate a text. But there's some point in which you have to pivot. Take a hint. I like that you mentioned that too. But then sometimes it's like, but he's so busy doing this and that. And it's like that he doesn't want. to. Like, again, let's come back to our, if you wanted to, he would. He actually doesn't want to.

We have a friend right now, and she's in this relationship. This guy, he's never going to be busier than now. He's just getting out of med school. He's trying to get his residency. He's doing his boards. I mean, no one is busier than this guy. They met, you know, quote unquote, the worst time in both of their lives. She's starting a business and they are making it work. They only see each other on the weekends. And they make it work because he wanted to. Like, if you would look at this guy's, you know, timeline, it couldn't be probably worse time to try to fit in a girlfriend, like a serious. committed relationship. But here we are, you know, and she's had to kind of work around

a schedule too. And so examples like that, I get it. You only have so much capacity if you really are some big entrepreneur, this and that. But then it goes back to, well, then I don't want a girlfriend right now. I can't handle it. Right. Because if they want to, they do. And I'm the same way. So it's Ashley. We run two businesses. We're on tour. We've lots going on. We fit people under our lives when we want to. Exactly. It's not that hard. Not everybody is busy, 24 hours a day nonstop Yeah And answer a text message

It's like it's actually impossible Most guys just get home for work They'll text you like I'm so busy babe And they're just scratching their balls on their phone Like you know like It's true if you wanted to he would It's true and it's true and women

It's just like you guys said It's like you have to stop Telling yourself excuses At some point Like if you see a pattern That's when you have to stop right You know someone could be busy One week right

Or one day But if you're seeing this pattern, that's when you have to go, okay, what's going on here and see, you know, really look back. He's like, okay, what's been happening? Yeah. He's always busy on the weekends. But he says he's working. It's like, he's not working on the weekends. Okay.

He turns you into Miss Wednesday. We don't want to be Jenna Ortega here. We don't want to be Wednesday. We want prime time Friday, Saturday night. Quality time. Well, I just was watching your TikTok and I just wanted you at least speak on this briefly. Is this like, should I follow up on this vague plans? and it ends in this, you know, if you wanted to, we would.

But I really love this because I think Rayne and I hear this all the time. He said, you know, on Tuesday or, you know, that maybe the weekend and should I follow up? And so let's touch base this weekend. Are we touching base? No, you're not touching base. He knows. He's not touching base. Okay.

He didn't forget. He didn't men in black. And he forget. He knows. He knows that he told you, hey, yeah, let's do something Friday or Saturday. Right? And you're like, yeah. Okay, reach back out.

And then he doesn't do it because what he's doing, this is Roster Town USA. Okay. This is a guy who's keeping you probably as a second or third option and is just kind of just seeing how his week plays out and maybe you'll hear from him Saturday at 10 PMA, what are you doing? But like if he wanted to take you out and this is a woman that he's like, I'm crazy about this girl. Like I don't want to let her slip away. Like she's some other guy is going to ask her on a date.

Like a man doesn't want to let that one walk. Okay. And men know that like women, you know, men are going to ask them out. Hot commodities. So it's like if he wants to lock someone in, like he's going to lock him in. So can we debunk? Like he's texting me all the time. The banter is great.

I hear from him via text all the time. We're not set in dates. Like what does that mean? Texting doesn't mean anything. Texting means nothing. It's about the consistency between the follow through of the actions. Okay, there's words and actions. If there's no follow through and there's no consistency in the amount that you're seeing him in

relationship to the texting and the communication, then you're a pen pal. Right. You're a clown in his phone. Well, and I think it's, it doesn't mean he like hates you or thinks you're ugly or doesn't want to fuck you. It's just like you're not the top priority. So isn't that which any relationship brain and I have both ever been in, you know what that feeling feels like when someone is pursuing you. They only want you. You're prioritized. So we should all be striving for the way that that feels. Like if you have other options, then you should be fine being someone's option. But if you're looking for the relationship, why are you letting someone treat you like an option? Exactly. That's it. And it's like you need to be very clear at the beginning what you're looking for out of dating.

If you're cool with something casual and you're like, that's fine. But if you want a relationship, and the guys just said it, like there's a very obvious feeling of a guy who's pursuing you in this way. Like it feels totally different to any of the type of guy you've gone out of date with. Like it's just going to be very consistent. You're going to see him consistently. You're going to hear from him consistently. You're not going to be wondering. when am I going to hear from this guy next? And it's just going to feel really smooth and you're going to feel very safe

in knowing what his intentions are and how he feels about you. So if there's inconsistencies here, then he isn't really sure of how he feels about it or he is sure. He just knows that he wants it to be a little bit more casual. He is sure. He is sure.

He is something. So this is, you know, early stages of a relationship. And I don't think either one of us has like a no tolerance policy. You know, people are busy. They do have a couple people in their life that they're dating. That's fine.

As long as you're not full, stop, pause. I'm putting all my eggs in this basket with this person that I'm not hearing from that I'm waiting for, that I did my makeup and maybe I'm going to hear from them for a plan tonight. Like, it's okay for other people to be dating others, but I don't want to feel disrespected in my time. I don't want to wait around, not know. Like, if you say, let's make plans Saturday, I don't hear from you on Friday. I'm making plans. You can come to the plans, but I'm going to make a plan with my girlfriends. You're welcome to come along if you text me.

Yeah. The most valuable thing we all have is our time. And if somebody's disrespecting your time, like that's just grounds to. ghost him and never thought to him ever again. Like if you get blown off once, like if he gives a really good response, why, like, maybe we'll see how it goes. But like, if somebody's continuously playing with your time, that's not something you should stay in. Yeah. I think back to like something that Nick Vyle says too, where he's just like, guys aren't that different from women when they like them. You know, like they're thinking about them all the time, wanting to text them all the time. They're talking their friends. They're obsessing over everything. You know, we've watched it happen too.

like with our guy friends or things like that. And it's just like, again, this isn't like a rule across the board. But it's, I think sometimes we've been fed this thing that, well, guys are just, you know, in general, they're just more aloof. They're not going to this. They're not going to that. And it's like, I don't know. That's not really been in my experience.

Like when a guy really wants a woman, he is like stopping at nothing. Yeah. Right. And that's sort of the past that a lot of men get. I call like the dumb guy method. Yes. Yeah. Oh, I was, I was sleeping.

Like, oh, I'm so. These guys. You know, It's the funniest thing. They're so sleepy. It's the dendous thing. They're so sleepy, you know. I just don't buy this shit that you're all so incompetent.

I don't buy it. You just is really sleepy. Naps a lot. Sleepy, very sleepy. Okay. But that's it. It calls the dumb guy method. Okay.

Guys know that women perceive them to be kind of dumb. We're not that dumb. We're not that dumb. We're dumb, but we're not that dumb. But even if you're dumb, you're going to pursue a girl you like. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know?

Look at Travis Kelsey. I don't know if you're dumb or not. It's debatable. Men know the women that they want. Okay, this is a perfect example of this. You've gone out on a date with some weird guy and you're like, oh, I don't like this guy. I'm dumping him. You dump him and then he's obsessively blowing you up.

I miss you. I love you. I love you forever. That man knows what he wants. He knows what he wants. Yeah. So it's like every guy knows that. It's just, you know, their behavior.

It depends. But guys know what they want. I've acted pretty intolerable and still had men pursue me. If they want you, they will stop at nothing. Oh, my God. I've done crazy shit and had men still pursuing. It's so true. Like, I thought of past boyfriends and, like, early stages, especially when I was like younger

and I was just like a drunk mess. You know what? I'm like, there's no way he's calling me again. Next day, boop, bo, bo, want to hang out today? What? Why? I think that's a great point. Like, there are all these little like little guidelines and rules to follow to kind of, you know,

make sure you're going about dating the right way. but at the end of the day, the right man for you or the right woman for him, like it's gonna work out. You could do everything completely wrong. Yeah. And if the guy has these true intentions for you and he feels that connection,

like you could mess up a lot and it won't make that big of a difference. Totally. You shouldn't feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time. Like one misstep and he's going to stop liking you. That's not really reality. That doesn't, no, I hooked up with this guy and I found he had a girlfriend and then I told her.

This was years ago. And they broke up. And then I heard from him like a month later, I've ruined his life and he's still reached back out to me. They're sick. There's nothing you can do to make them go away if they want to date you. I know. Okay, and then I want to just close the loop on this.

I mean, there are people that are shy. There's men that are shy, of course. They're not as pursuant. They're not as much of a hunter. So, like, there are people that fit into that box. How much should we be, like, texting and, like, taking the lead? Because there are some people like, I know this guy. He's just shy.

He's not, like, super pursuant. Not such a hunter. When do you say, like, cut your losses and go? All right. So this is my, this is my stance on this. Okay. For the most part, like, think of it like a car, right? The guy is driving the car, but women typically, you're the one putting the gas in the car. So I call those like indicators of interest. So you should be giving a man these indicators of interest that you want to go out with them. You want to see him again. You want him to keep doing the right things. Throw the dog the bone as they, as they say, right? So by doing that, you could help along these guys. It just depends on the guy. Some guys need a little bit more indicators of interest than others. Some guys, like you said, are just naturally hunters. They know how to pursue their boom, boom, setting the dates, whatever. Some guys are a little shy or they maybe their confidence isn't quite at the point where they're able to read your interest level.

So by you making it a little more obvious for him, he could then take that lead and run with it. But as far as like you ladies, like trying to plan and set the dates, I think that's fine at a certain point in your sort of relationship. but you just want to be careful about doing that too soon and sort of forcing the issue with somebody before they've showed you that that's sort of the direction they want things to go because you'd be like oh things have been going great

but you set up the past three dates and he's just going along for the rack so you have to just be it's a fine line there okay I love that point I think that there's this kind of old school thinking of like just be a bitch you know and it's like I don't know like I think most guys want a woman that makes him feel good like feel desired feel you know not over the top

but just like feel like you want to spend time with them. And I know guys that are just a little more in their head. You know, I think like even the younger generation just has more anxiety, maybe more insecurity wrapped into that and more spiraling like, I don't know if she likes me and this and that. And so to your point, yes, like show someone you like them, you know, not smothering them, not over the top, but like the indicators like you said. Exactly.

And that should help the guy kind of get the hint. My problem with like what some women do sometimes is like they keep doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it. Then the guy's not taking the hint. Like I said, we just said earlier. Guys aren't stupid. He knows that you're showing him signs that you like him. If he doesn't take the ball and run with it, now you're chasing. And you know what else? Ask a girlfriend. Like my boyfriend told me he did this. He showed his best girlfriend a text for me. And she was like, she's into you. Because I think he was like, I don't know, you know. And like the backstory, whatever had him in his head a little bit. And she was like, no, no, this is what we do as women.

So it's like, have a girl weigh in or, you know, you, a friend like you. No, that's true. I mean, a lot of guys, you know, guys get a bad rap, you know, but it's really only a small percentage of guys who are really running the rosters and doing all this. A lot of guys, there's a lot of really great guys out there who just don't quite know how to go about those pursuing phases in the early stages and how to kind of convey themselves in the most like attractive way. Because men's biggest problem is they usually come across as way too needy and clingy.

And then like women are kind of like repulsed by that. Like, oh, I thought this guy was cool. And then he started blowing me up and saying weird shit. Like so a lot of men need to learn how to like take a chill pill. Okay. You just went on this date. Don't blow her up. Give her a little chit chat for a day or two and then ask her on the next date.

Like don't start going all in texting all day every day. It's just a much healthier, better pace to allow that space. between the dates, not smothering communication. Because through that space, people, you sort of decipher your feelings and realize, like, how do I actually feel about this? If you're just blowing each other up and seeing each other every day, every day, every day,

you're building a connection based in just dopamine and those exciting new feelings, not actually rooted in, is this person a good match for me or not? How am I feeling when I'm away? Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? Yeah. It's really true. Yeah, I mean, I think so much texting builds

a bit of a false sense of intimacy, where you're like, we talk constantly and we laugh all the time and the banders grind. I know so much about them, but you don't really know so much about them. So it's nice to take your time. I think life is long and we can take our time and not have to see somebody every single day. I mean, do whatever feels good. But I still think we can take our time. Yeah. And that's why what I sort of preach is like the healthiest way for the beginning stages of a relationship. And like you said, you could break the rules and can still work out perfectly, but this is just a way to sort of ensure that you're not giving your time and energy to people who don't deserve it because you don't know what their true intentions are.

So I always say for men, because like I said, men's biggest problem is they typically come across is too needy. So the best way to kind of settle that feeling is one date per week for the first three weeks to a month, right? Consistent communication, not constant communication, always making sure she knows like the next time she's going to hear from you. She knows your feelings and how you're progressing this, right? but you're allowing that space and time for one for her to see that your intentions are pure right because

if you just love bomb and see somebody five times in the first week of knowing them you don't know that person you literally don't know him at all and after a month you might not even know him but probably closer to two months you can get a good idea but it just behooves both parties to kind of take their time in the early stages because if it's meant to work out it's going to work out and all it's going to do is weed out people who are after things that aren't genuine or just, you know, if you're looking for a relation to this guy, I might just be trying to, okay, if I could see her twice this week and then early next week, I could probably hook up with her really quick, right? We don't want that. You want to see how a man operates over that period of time so you can get a really good vibe for his true intentions.

Create scarcity. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And I definitely support that. But then I think you also hear, like our friends we mentioned and, you know, I've had some relationships in my past where you just like kind of know. And you do, you're not spent every night together, but it is a little more frequent. You might have that story of like, I don't know, we just kind of like spent the whole weekend together. And it was early stages and we just kind of knew. But I think that's when both parties are like really into it and secure about it. And like you're also both of the same stage of life. You know, I think you can feel that difference where it's like this insane like love bomby situation. And when you're just like, I don't know, we just kind of knew. We just, you know, like I think of like Eden

and her husband. They just got in. engaged six weeks into like they were yeah there's exceptions to every rule of just kind of like we just knew and we were both securely attached knew we wanted out of life and we just went full court press on each other but I want to also just hone on what you said like you know when you're going to hear from him again that's like so important I think that's what drives women crazy and probably you men too of just like I don't know what I'm going to hear from them again like I don't know if I'll ever see them again so like I would hope you know that the good guys out there like understand and that's like a feeling you should provide.

Yeah. No, my recommendation for that is this, right? So let's say, let's say we go on a first date, right? We go on a first date on a Saturday. We have a great time. And afterwards, you text me, oh, we had a great time. I said, oh, I did too, right? Maybe the next day I'll open up with a little chit chat or something like, oh, I'd

love to see you again. What do you have going on next weekend? And maybe you say, oh, I'm free Friday night. I'll say perfect. You know what? I'll hit you up on Wednesday with the plan and we'll get it all straight. So then you might not hear hear from me Monday, Tuesday, but you know that you're going to hear from me on Wednesday. I told you when to expect to hear from me. And that's the comfort that women want to hear. It's not about like not hearing from. It's about knowing when you're going to hear from him.

And when somebody says they're going to do it that they actually do it. What a nice comforting feeling. Yeah. Following through the actions and the words and then there's the follow through. And then we get to relax. You know, like we say this all the time when we talk about attachment styles. you can really be pretty innately secure and someone can make you anxious, you know, based on the way they're treating you, their communication. So when you really come to expect someone's going to do what they're saying they're going to do, you know, you're going to see them again, you know, they're into you, you know, enough to keep moving the goalpost. You're like, you can just chill and be your true self too. You know, there's nothing worse in that feeling. You're like, we've all been there as women where we're like, I didn't even recognize myself. This guy

turned me into like a weird, anxious, clingy version of myself. And who wants that? I hear that all the time. And that's a man who's spinning plates. Let's talk about it. Yes, let's talk about a roster. Let's talk about a man who can build a roster. All right. So you might think this is good because he has good team management skills.

I am not a team player. Okay. Yeah, no. We're the star player. I'm the only player. Right. That's it. You're the only player on that team.

We don't want to be on the bench. We're not the second or third leading score. Like we want to be the star of the team. Okay. So when it comes to like a man, who's running a roster, right? And the way to sort of tell if you're on one or not is based on what I was saying earlier. It's the inconsistencies in his behavior, communications, and how much you're seeing him, right?

Like I said earlier, are you only seeing this guy on like Wednesdays or Monday nights? Like, and you only see him every two weeks? It's like, what do you think he's doing all this other time? Who's not getting Saturday? Yeah. The star player's getting Saturday. Totally. Yeah.

So it's very. So it's very obvious, but the way that men will sort of make up for the lack of seeing you, right? Like if I, if you're like my third string, right? If you're third string, I'm not seeing you every week. I might see you every two weeks. So then what I would do is like you text a lot, right? So that's we're talking about the texting is false comfort. Yeah.

If I text you a lot and say, yeah, baby, I can't wait to see you again. I'm just so busy. I'm so busy a footlocker. I can't see. Like you're not like. The foot locker. The locker manager. Foot locker.

Did you work there in high school? Be honest. I did not work. I did not work at foot locker. They were referee costumes. They had to dress like reps. Like they were actually running a roster. There you go.

Yeah. So like that's how you could sort of tell like where you sort of stand. Like how often are you actually seeing him? That's the key. The communication, the texting, the phone calls, the faith. A guy who's really experienced will throw in some face times, you know? FaceTime. But how often are you actually seeing him?

If you're not seeing him at least once a week, there's a problem. If you are in this cycle where you're like, I'm getting a lot of tax, face times, I like that. That feels good. How do we break the cycle? Do we stop responding? Do we stop answering? So you sort of have to put a little test in place. I just was working with a client.

And this actually really worked. Okay. So you have to see the pattern. Like I said, you have to figure out what this pattern is. Like this is what I was saying. You're only seeing them on Wednesdays. You've never seen them on a Friday or Saturday night. You've been going out for like a month and a half, two months at this point.

You are no longer available during the week. You're no longer available. Okay. So you're like, we're going out Friday or Saturday or we're not going out. And then you see where his priorities are. If you don't see him, you don't see him for two, three weeks. Then it's done. Then you know, that's the answer.

He wasn't willing to give it to you. So you have to take away your availability in the way that you've been giving it to him, flip it to the office. opposite and then see if he makes the changes to meet your new schedule, your new communication style. And if he's willing to do that, that's obviously a good sign. If he doesn't, then he's going to let you walk. He'll just replace you with the next person on the bench. I put me in, coach. He's like, I've just picked up weekends at Foot Locker, babe. I got to work a double at the mall. Like, weekends aren't going to work for me. I guess if you never draw boundary, I don't know if

you can expect other people to like sniff out where it is. But once you say this is it, I think it's pretty easy to know what's going on. And I do like the idea of making yourself a little less available, not texting as much, answering the FaceTime. Because I think that people get that real dopamine hit when you do. And then they don't need to make plans to see you and hang out. But do you think, I mean, let's talk about the chase, you know, like, do you think that there's guys out there that are just, they're always going to go back and forth on the chase?

Like if you make yourself scarce, they'll push. But then you do fall into it and then you're available and then they pull again and then you push, you know, like, do you see that where that's like, they really will always just try and then as soon as you're available and you just go back and forth forever in this like toxic cycle? So a lot of men, like it's a conquest, right? Maybe there's this woman. He's not sure about his intentions for her yet, but like I really like that girl, she's hot. I want to get her. Right. If you, like I was saying earlier, right off the bat, see him bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, three times in one week, you're giving him exactly what he won. He won. He won. Okay. And if his intentions weren't pure, if you didn't get that feeling early on, like you were talking about where you just know, which that's like, you know, that's the best. When you meet somebody, you're just like, this is it. Right. But if you don't know and you're just feeling those positive feelings because maybe he's attractive or whatnot, you just like you just want to keep seeing him. If you give him all that access to you, you just gave it away. Like you just gave away the value. Scarcity is value. There's a fine line. And that's why I say in the first month of dating, that cadence of once a week. It allows a little mystery, right, while you're building comfort over time, getting to know each other in person. And then after that point, after three weeks to a month, then it could start to ramp up at a healthy pace. I think if you feel like you're in this cycle of like game playing, you can stop, you know?

Yeah. And like you'll sniff it out pretty soon. Right. And I just think, unfortunately, probably some guys are wired to be like that forever or until they're, I don't know, 45 and they just finally want to slow down and, you know, settle down and their body start breaking down. They have no more testosterone left. No, I'm just kidding. But, like, they might just go do that forever. And that's just probably not who you want as a partner.

As a stable partner. But we like this saying. And I can't remember who said it. I think it just was something, you know, came from TikTok. And it was like, for women, don't play hard to get. Just be hard to get. Just live your life. Like, do you.

Have your hobbies. Have your girlfriends. Have shit going on. If you really have already built, like, a full life where a partner would just be the chair on top in the first place. And you got your stuff. on you're doing this and that you're not constantly just like trying to play in your next move it's just actually organic to you and I think guys pick up on that too guys can pick up on if a woman's trying

to play games like an experienced guy can pick up on that like she's playing hard to get like she's purposely doing this like a lot of guys can pick up on that that's why I say just like what you said like just be busy like have things going on love your life love the life you're already living right now and you don't know need somebody. Like if he comes and it's a perfect alignment, it feels great, then yeah. But like, you don't need a guy or anybody, a relationship to be happy. If you're not happy by yourself, just doing your own thing, then why would somebody be happy with you? Yeah. What are they coming into, you know? Because don't you feel like guys can also sniff out that desperation that like,

I'm looking for my missing puzzle piece. My life isn't complete until, you know, like that kind of feeling, I feel like, is really kind of radiates off of you. And that feels like that's what pushes people away too. Absolutely. Yeah, no, that's totally true. You have to be comfortable with yourself and your own skin and your current life. And that's the only way you're going to attract. Like, I talk a lot about like energies and like being at that place where, you know, like energies attract. Right. And if you're in desperado mode or you're not happy with everything and you're like, I just need a man. I just need a man. Like, no, you don't.

Get out there. Get a hobby. Get a dog. Get a dog. Get a dog. Get a peloton. Whatever. Literally, a hobby.

Anything. So can we talk about sort of the mistake? I guess there's a tactic that people take where they're like, he doesn't seem to be latching on. So I'm going to show him how great I am. I'm going to give him the full girlfriend experience without the title. And he's just going to see how amazing I am because I am amazing. And he'll come around to it.

This is the thing. I like we've seen this happen. Rain and I just, I want to scream because you can feel women are doing this. Like if I just go harder and show him what a like nurturing there for him, supportive woman I can be. Okay. You take it away.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, it's you don't want to give somebody girlfriend treatment until they've told you you're their girlfriend. Like there needs to be a level that you hold back, right? Like you can show him 80%. But that final 20%. 20% is saved until he says, you're my girlfriend, right? You have to keep a little bit in the

tank. Yeah. It's just, you have to. You want to make a guy earn it, so to speak. Like, there's a level that he has to earn when it comes to your availability, what you're giving him emotionally, the amount of communication. Because scarcity in some capacity, and like over time it builds, but like, scarcity is valuable. It is. That's just a fact. If he feels like he's still kind of clawing to get to know, you get to have a little more access to you and learn more about you. Like that's going to kind of keep him pursuing. If after two weeks you give him the whole kick and cabood, like it's done. And whatever that looks like to you, I mean, I like you breaking it down in percentages.

I might go a little harder. I might go 60, 40, 70, 30. But like just that like little gifts or I don't know what it looks like. It's just, you know, my friend said, she said, I would never leave a man's house better than I found it. I kick the hamper over on the way out the door. You used to say before about something like making a... Same girl, I'd never make him dinner. Why are you cooking for this guy?

Yeah, yeah, no. Same girl, she said I would never cook him dinner and I'll knock the dresser over on my way out the door. I'm making his bed. I thought of you, I bought you this little gift. Bitch what? And I think it's just whatever it feels like to you, you know you're doing it. You know you have thought that if I just show him X, Y, and Z he'll commit.

It's like actually the literal opposite. Maybe if you withhold X, Y, and Z, he might. Right. No, it's true. It's true. So you have a video where you talk about, like, I feel like I'm treating him better and he's actually treating me worse. Yeah. Love this one.

Yeah. Yeah. No, that's like, I hear that a lot. And that's just a guy. Because, listen, women do these things too. It might just look a little differently. So if you're giving me all this effort, all this effort. And then the guy's not reciprocating it.

He's doing that on purpose because he knows that if he reciprocates it, you're showing her that you want to progress things. So the only way to put things to a halt is to not reciprocate or to stop doing things. Okay. And if you're dating somebody in the trajectory should always be positive. It should never go down. Right. So if, you know, you meet met each other. It's going great. It's going great. You start doing more, more and more. And all of a sudden, he's doing less. It's like it should never dip. There should never be a dip there. It should always be this positive trajectory. So if you feel like you're, you're trying to give more and progress things, then he's kind of kind of pulling away, taking it slow.

Sorry, I was just so busy this week. Like, those are signs. You just have to read those flags. They may not be red, but they're beige. If you squint your eyes, they're a little yellow. I mean, you can say to yourself, if I liked somebody, would I treat them like this? I mean, we're all people.

We're breaking it out. I was like, men do this, blah, blah, but like, what a human being that wanted to see me and date me, would I treat them like that, you know? I like that you said it should go in a positive trajectory. Because, yes, of course, we all understand long. term relationships have the ebb and flow and have ups and downs. That's not what we're talking about. But I feel like you sometimes might hear somebody say, you know, let's say they started this

whatever it is, situation ship dating in January. And here it is March. I just wish it was back to it was in January. No, we are too early. It shouldn't be going downhill that quick, like before you're committed. You know, like I think that's like a tell sign where someone's like, but at the beginning it started out so good. It's like, what are you talking about? Three weeks ago? You know, This isn't a 10-year marriage, you know, wishing it went back to the early days. This is like a few weeks back when he was hot on your tail. You know, we'd like to offer people like, if you find yourself saying this thing, reflect on what that means.

I hear that all the time. It's like it should, there should not be any downward trajectory until, like you said, you're in a relationship and then maybe six months down the line, you have like a little argument or something like that. Yeah. Yeah, like the first three months should be like pretty smooth sailing. Yes. Like up, up, up, like it should be easy.

It should feel easy. Like, no one in a really strong, stable relationship has ever been like, God, the beginning was rough. You know, like, it's just like, I don't know, it's pretty easy. We just liked each other. You know, so. Right. I like this question.

We asked people what they were sort of wanting to talk about on Instagram, but I like this just as a general addition to this. Why do men pull back as soon as you match their energy? So, like, they're pursuing you hard. They're coming through. and you're like, okay, I could do this. And they're like, bu, blah, blah, blah, what made you think

that we were dating? I think that women really relate to this. This happens a lot. I think women are like, he's pursuing me. Okay, I'll lean in. And they're like, ew, what made you think I wanted this? Totally. Like, you started this.

I know. Do you know what I'm talking about, Daddy? I know what you're talking about, but it's like, it's a case by case basis. Like, you really have to dive into each thing and be like, okay, tell me about the first week. Tell me about the second week. what came after the second date.

How did he pursue you coming out? Because a lot of people are just like, I started giving him and he pulled back. I'm like, whoa, but let's look back two weeks. There are signs right there. He never wanted anything serious with you per se. He was just trying to push the issue to get more time with you,

to potentially sleep with you, to have you on his roster or whatnot. And then now you're like, oh, let me try to push the issue back and try to make this happen. And then all of a sudden, he's pulling back. Because he knows,

like I said, if he matches your effort, if your effort is going above his, well, you'll know that he wants. wants a relationship. Sure. So if your efforts going up and he his max effort was here, right, you match him in his mind. He's going, oh, shit, here we go. We're getting close. You start passing him. He's going to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got to pull this back because I don't want a

relationship right now. I've only been seeing this girl for a few months. I got to pull this back slowly and surely. So maybe he'll text you a little bit less. Maybe he'll skip a week of seeing you. And he'll slowly pull it back. But if he likes you and he wants to keep you around, he's not going to disappear. But there'll be this slow. pull back to a point where you're seeing him less, you're hearing from him less, but you're still seeing him, but the consistency, it just went way down.

That's a guy who's seeing multiple women. A guy who just, you know, just started to feel differently. He'll pull back for a few weeks and then he'll openly just say to you, listen, I'm just not feeling this, blah, blah,

blah. But if the consistency of everything pulls back, you're giving more, he's pulling back. You're seeing him less. You're talking to him less. There's either other women or other priorities. And he doesn't want to.

to match your energy because he knows that you're going to think this is heading towards a relationship then. Yeah, that seems pretty simple. It's like if you matched his energy and he didn't like it, it doesn't want to sleep with you. I want to talk to you about something. Every once in a while rain and I see these situations, probably more frequent. It's not like the most rare thing where we have watched this relationship from the beginning. It's never been great. It's been a lot of push and pull. Like the woman, for example, is just taking the scraps. You know, it's constant anxiety. Where is he can't rely on him? He's, has he going to call? He's going to show up for my birthday. this and that. Just like, you know, she's in therapy. It's a whole mess. Like, it's not good. It's bad. And it goes on forever. And she just waits it out and just, I don't know, breaks him down. And they get married. I mean, we see it. And it's just, it's sad. And I'm like, did the guy just get worn out? You know, or like, did he realize she was the one because she stuck around? Like, I don't like these stories because they're not the norm and they're not healthy or how it should be. And who knows? So people could die together in the bed, like the notebook. Or they could get the.

divorce. Like, I don't want to say these marriages are doomed, but we really do see it and we always want to tell people, like, that's the real exception to the rule. But sometimes if that's your friend group and you see that a lot, you're like, I can do it. I can just wait it out and be miserable. And one day he'll come around. We see people be miserable for years. And then he finally, like, pulls into the parking spot. But like, at what cost to your own mental health has this happened? Yeah, I've seen that a lot, too. You just, you're wearing him down. And he essentially, well, basically, what happens is like they built an attachment okay then it's not necessarily love or or this genuine passionate love but they have this connection it's almost like a parasite and they're just like attached to

each other and at a certain point because the fighting the push and pull it creates this dopamine like i want to win her back win her back and like that fighting and the making up the fighting and then the making up it's just deeper seating this attachment it's a parent And the longer it goes on, the harder it is to get rid of. I think that's interesting because you see people with somebody for years, a man that won't marry them. And then they marry the next girl in six months. And so maybe what was holding those people together previously was this like parasitic relationship where they're like, we've like been in this line for so long. I guess I'll just stay in this line.

That's exactly what ends up happening. They'll be together for years. They'll get married and then they get divorced after six months. And then we always are like, you've made him work. little. You know, you put up with so much. So I think there's some guys out there that are just not great guys and they know she'll take whatever and put up with whatever. I mean, there's certainly got to be guys out there that are like, I don't know, man. She has just let me treat her like shit for three years. Like, I'll marry this one because I can just do whatever the fuck I want forever.

I'll be at the strip club with the boys. We got three kids at home. Like, because she has shown me she'll take whatever I give her. Unfortunately, I think it's like the sad side of it. That's 100% right and your boundaries or lack of boundaries is representative of your inner self-worth. So it's like those two things are congruent. If you have soft boundaries, then your internal perception of your self-worth isn't where it should be. And like, you know, it could be for a lot of reasons. It could be because of this guy treating you poorly. But whatever the reason is, the only way to build it back up is, well, I mean, like, obviously

therapy, talking to your friends and like eventually you just have to take a stand and just be like, listen, this is my life. I need to change this. And the only way to break through is to hold that boundary and to break up and to move on. Because that's the only way you're going to get the strength and feel that positive, you know, the positive thing about yourself. Like I did it. I stepped away from something.

I actually was working with somebody recently who is a very similar situation. And I'm like, it might be tough for like a month or two. Like you might be really sad. But on the other side of this is the happiest version of yourself that you've ever been. But you just have to have the fate that it's going to be. be that. I really feel for people that have a hard time drawing boundaries, that are people pleasers that don't know what it feels like to be the priority and to be really lifted up. And you're just like, maybe this is what it is. And I would hate the feeling of being chosen because

somebody just knows that I will put up with anything. And that, you know, she's stuck around. So this must be love. You know, I really, I feel for people that are in these situations that have never been treated like a huge priority. But you're so right. Like, you do have to get a little uncomfortable unfortunately because there is people that will treat you better than that and not like an option while they run around and do whatever they want. How many billion people are there in the world? Right. Six billion.

I don't know. Like billions of people. Like there's so many people out there. Like you think this one guy who's treating you poorly? Like what is so great about this? I know. You hate it. You hate your life.

You hate yourself. You hate everything about this. Yeah. You have to change it. It's because of this attachment. They've lost a sense of self. Yes. And that's what I hear about a lot of people who are in like these negative relationships is they always say like, I don't know who I am anymore.

It's because you became like an amoeba like attached to this person and you don't, you really lost who you truly are. And that's why when these people finally do break free and they start doing things that make them happy again and the self help, it's this glow up like you've never seen because they've, you know, they quite literally have turned to a new person. I mean, I want to do a whole episode on this. But toxic relationships like ruin who we are, you know. and I think it's so sad that people are just, you know, think they always have to be with a partner because for me in my past, nothing has been more unhappy, giving me more anxiety, more stress than a bad relationship. Like, I'd be single all day over that. You know, like single, live my best life, do what I want, be with my girlfriends, you know, this and that. Then like that constant around the clock, 24-7 anxiety loop of the toxic relationship.

It's horrible. And I know that like, listen, I'm a full me five. times person sometimes you know i'm not a zero tolerance i'm such a bad bitch you can't ever fuck up like i have let people acted poorly and i'm not always proud of it but like at this age i just i can't be in a situation where i just feel bad all the time and i never know if you're going to show up for me i never know when the other shoe is going to drop and i have girlfriends that like i watch their quote unquote partners like just treat them poorly time and time again and i'm like how have we dealt with this six times now and we haven't had enough. You know? Yeah. Are you a good boyfriend,

Daddy? Of course I. What was the last date you took your girlfriend on? When was the last date? Raina, you put him on the spot. He's nervous. No, no, no, no. Where was your first date? You know what? What the hell was the name? Oh, it's called Freehold. Freehold? Freehold? Freehold in Williamsburg? No, no, no, no, no, no. Or freehand, the Rehand Hotel? and flat iron? See, I'm horrible. Sounds like a line. Sounds like a lie. Let's just say it wasn't like Mr. Suave, best date, but like, just like

you were saying, the connection of the first date was just like a special one. We just like vibed off the bat and it was just, from there, it just seemed like supernatural and something that. We knew like, okay, this is something serious. I love that. You don't have to answer us. I'm just curious. Is this a long term, short term? Like, have you guys been together for a while? Like two years?

Okay. Oh, yeah. That's a little Halloween photo of you guys together. And then how to do that? How did you meet? Did you meet in the wild or on an app or a setup? We met on an app. Whoa. Okay.

We love it. Okay. Those are my questions. All right. We won't get too far into your relationship. Offline. You can text us about her. Yeah, sure.

But this has been really fun. We are really excited to have you on the show and these topics are great. And everybody should really check out your TikTok. I mean, there's really great advice and just information there. I know. I'm really so happy to see what you're doing and really just like a counterbalance to some of the, like, really terrible stuff that men are getting fed and then is trickle. down to the female experience as well.

And so this is great. Yeah. I really appreciate it, guys. Tell people where they can find you, TikTok, Instagram, anywhere else you want them to look you up. Yeah. So my TikTok handle is The Daddy Academy. Okay.

So you could look me up on there on Instagram at Nico E-Man, N-I-K-O-E-M-A-N. It's an abbreviation of my crazy long, Greek last name. So you can find me in both those places, posting similar content, Instagram. I got a little bit more of my personal life on there and some other things that I do.

But yeah, If you're interested in like one-on-one sort of consultations or coaching, I kind of offer that too. You could DM me or there'll be a link in my bio you can click. And there's some big things on the horizon. Nothing that I could really talk about right now. I can feel it. I'm like, we need it. The TED Talk, the actual academy itself.

Big Daddy stuff is on the ride. Doing Daddy stuff. Doing Big Daddy stuff. Well, thank you so much. This is such a pleasure. Thank you guys. I really appreciate it. Well, hope you guys enjoy your teachings from the Daddy Academy.

me and you can find us at Girls Gotta Eat.com. We are Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Raina is rena.org and of course our other company Vibes Only, which is vibes only.com. Shop all your sex toys. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend.

Share this episode with the guy who needs to pick up on that daddy energy and we will see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.