Girls Gotta Eat - If They Do This on a First Date, LEAVE!

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

How hard is it to be a decent human on a first date? Apparently harder than you'd think! We are breaking down bad date behavior and bright red flags – everything from misogynistic remarks to showing up drunk to not asking you a single question – and then sharing our tactic for how to leave if the date is going south. Plus, we're sharing 3 shocking/hilarious date stories from our listeners. Before we get into the topic, we're talking about Love is Blind, Ashley moving, Rayna's tips for taking a bath with someone, and the best mood lighting for sex. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your order at quince.com/gge. Shopify: Get a $1/month trial period at shopify.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I feel like there has never been more information available in the history of time for how to not act like a piece of shit on a first date and you need to use it. Girls got to eat. Welcome back. So I am unwell. I'm fucked up. And you know how I know? Because I drove all the way here downtown in a monsoon. No music.

Actually, no. First of all, unhinged behavior. Second of all, extra unhinged for me. I don't roll like that. I never have. Some people are more like that. I respect it. Live your truth.

Like some people drive more without music. Never in my life. No, you drove to Spotify with no music. Being in the car and music are synonymous. That's a thing. It'd be crazy not to play music in the car. You're like a serial killer. You get in the car with somebody they're not playing music.

What if you went on a date with somebody and they're like, I prefer no music. Okay, let me ask you this. What's worse? No music or house music. I actually don't know. Okay, it depends on the length of the ride. And I'm speaking from experience. Just in the car.

What are we doing? Anything longer than three minutes. So the way I back out of my house is really awkward. And then I have to shut the garage. And I have to pull out, you know, like normal people. A mansplating how to pull out of a house. If I get more than like a block away from my house, I haven't turned on music yet, something's wrong. Well, I don't even, it's usually just connects.

It's like, we're good to go. And I was just like, I realized it, you know, as I was almost here. And then I didn't even put it on. That's how I knew I was like extra fucked up today. I was like, you know, I'm just going to sit in it. I'm just going to live. in this fucking rain and be mad. You know, you're just like,

legit, see that meme at that, like, it's like an emo kid just laying in a puddle. Like, that was me. Like, I'm just, I don't want to be feel better. I'm going to just, shit went down this morning. We've just been like, rage voice noting all morning. And I was like, I'm going to just be madder. I know.

Sometimes, like, Ashley and I, like, I will leave her voice. I said it six times this morning. It's I'm screaming at you on voice notes. And I don't want to be in an echo chamber, but we just get make each other mad about stuff. And we're just like, this sucks this. And then I just kept doing it. You know when you're like really upset?

that and you don't eat. And like, you're like, I could make myself feel better today. I could eat a cheeseburger. I could do something nice to make myself smile. But, like, I'm not going to do it. Like, that's the equivalent of not listening to music for me in the car. I'm, like, so in my rage. I don't even, like, remember to eat or listen to music.

Yeah, it's like your inner emo kid is coming out. Like, your inner, like, I don't want to. I just want to be mad about it. Sometimes you've got to lean in. Yeah, you just got to feel those feelings. Listen, I really don't want to dwell too much in the weather, but it's been another monsoon. And it is like, I feel this sadness in my soul. After our studio got flooded, we lost everything we own, and then we flew to Miami.

That trip was ruined. The new live show was canceled. I think that I'm traumatized. I can't deal over anymore. Yeah, it's just been dark days. But I am moving, and I'm going to have a way better setup for coming into my home without my wet dog, parking. The whole thing I can. I'll tell you guys all about it.

All right, well, let's think a couple of partners. We'll jump into it. Thanks to Shopify for supporting girls got to eat. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs like ourselves, the resources once reserved for big business. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash GGE, all lowercase. Yes, and this episode is sponsored by Quince. Indulge in Affordable Luxury. Go to quince.com slash GGE for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.

That's quince.com slash GGE. And thanks to article for Sporting Girls Got to Eat. They're curated assortment of mid-century modern, coastal, industrial, Scandy, and Boho Designs, makes furniture shopping simple. Article is offering you $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. go to article.com slash gGE. So speaking of the rain. Studio update. Okay.

It has been raining for multiple days. It is not flooded in the space. So I feel like I cannot believe it. I'm so happy. I got on my hands and needs went around that whole space being like, why see one fucking drop of water in here? Murder somebody.

I mean, it has just been so much. There's people in out of my house. Every day, drywall people, demolition, people clean up people, trash people. Today there's a painter going there. Every five minutes the owner's like, can I come over? I'm like, I hate you.

But the space is dry. It's hauled out. Drywall comes at the end of this week. We're going to paint. We have furniture coming. It is outside my house sitting in the rain. Tessa and I are going to go home and get the boxes. Tessa has been so great. She came over this weekend and how we carry boxes. Oh, my God. Under the pergola. Is it a fun name to say?

Tess is your boyfriend. That's fine. And you don't even have to blow her after. Isn't that nice? Only if you want it. Isn't that nice, though? You know, someone's like, the person you paid and assist you. assist you. Yeah. You're like, there's nothing else I got to do here. Just get her paycheck to her on time.

But the new chairs for the space are there. Everything is there. So in the next couple weeks, we should be fully built out. All the orders are placed. We're ready to go. And Spotify has been very amazing in the meantime. Yeah, they have. We hope you guys are listening on Spotify. Maybe it sounds better, you know? We're here. Probably does. It's probably. They probably do a little something to it when you're here. Some to it. Just sparkle it up. Make it better. So, yeah, let's keep it rolling with these like home updates. and his home update is that we are rebuilding the studio in her home. Mine is that I'm moving. So I've lived in West Hollywood since we moved here and I'm going to move over to the West Side,

be a West Side girl. I'm going to be in Santa Monica. And I am so excited. I mean, I loved my house and my landlord and my neighborhood, but I just really want to be over there closer to you, closer to the beach. Now it feels like all of our friends that weren't already over there are migrating over there. And I'm just like ready for a change and to just be on that side of town. and I just was looking casually. I knew I could probably keep on like a month-to-month lease. And so I was just like, I'm in no rush, but I did find like the perfect place. And I really walked in and it felt like home immediately.

And I was like, this is it. Everything about it. There's just some really special things. I'm so excited. I'm a fireplace. I have this huge, like, wrap around patio rooftop deck. So exciting. And then a garage.

Like the way I have to squeeze my car into my little tiny driveway. Like, you can't get out on the passenger side. Like it's, I just. a show a photo. Like, it is crazy. I have to, like, stick my head out the window to even get in there. It is wild. Also, if your car is pulled into the space, I can't get up your steps. It's actually insane. The mailman can't get up to my door. It is like park horse trying to, like, get up to your door. Oh, it's such a joke. So I have, like, I have parking for, like, three cars now, like, in a garage. I'm, like, so excited. And then I'll just come in up into my house. So I never have to deal with this fucking rain and this wet dog all the time, just walking straight into the living room. So I am really so excited. and I have another female landlord.

And that is the way to go. I feel like I'm getting trolled. Like my current woman who owns my house now, you know, she is so wonderful. We've like a such a great relationship and I'm like going to miss her. But like the next owner of the new home, I love her too. I met her. I'm just like this is the way to go. I feel like they really like take you seriously.

They get shit done if you needed. They're responsive. Can't really. Like seriously, there's something about like I've had male landlords that just gaslight you. Like, you've dealt with this. I feel like even compared to your, in New York, that you loved your. It was a lesbian couple that owned your apartment in New York.

Couldn't have loved that more. Exactly. If anybody tried to fuck with me, they were terrorists. Even when I was like, it's really not that big of door, they were like, absolutely not. We asked for this and this will happen. And I was like, go on. That energy.

That is such crazy. That is the energy between my current landlord and your current landlord, even, which, I mean, he's gotten his shit together. Because I had to act like a psychopath. Like my lawyer now is like, absolutely, we'll get this done. You shouldn't have to deal with this. Yada, yada, yada. She is on top of it all the time.

And I talk to you and he's like, I think you'll be fine. Our studio space flooded and he recommended I get a maid service in there. A made service to vacuum out a foot of water from our studio space. Maybe you get a maid service in there. I went so crazy. And I don't like being this version myself. I'm not some like nasty. I'm going to ride you bad bitch.

Like I just want to like be kind and polite, ask for things to get done that are a reasonable expectation and have them be done. I'm not trying to be yelling at people. Yeah, to be pushed to that point in the first place. like shit has really gone awry. But yeah, I can't recommend enough. That's my wreck for the week. Woman property owner. I'm just, I'm really so excited.

And I can't even if you to be near me. Oh my God. I'm like dying. I want to be there so bad. I feel like I'm being so embarrassing. I drive past Asher's house every day. I drive by it all this time. I'm sitting in traffic.

It's an 11 minute drive. I cannot wait. I haven't had a walk in closet in eight years. That's crazy. I don't. I do well for myself. Okay. Why?

How does this keep happening? One thing on my bucket list before I do move out. of the West Hollywood House. What does it say at the top? Is that a bucket list? No, this is just my notes for the intro. Okay, because there's only three things on it. And I was like, well, I only have one thing on the list.

There's only one thing on my bucket list. There's only one thing on your whole bucket list. Don't get pregnant. What? What do you? It's just a house. One thing. No, I thought that was just your life bucket list.

A life? Can you imagine? I've accomplished everything. I did it all by 40. No, for the house. So Sparkly's is coming this weekend as we record, and it will be our last weekend in the house, and we love the house so much. Like, the whole time we've dated, obviously, I've lived in that West Hollywood house. And never taken a bath in the bath.

You know, I'm not a bath, girly. And my shower is the most beautiful shower I've ever seen. So I'm always taking a shower. I'm going to miss my shower so much. But there's this also beautiful bath. We're going to get that long-ass man. We're both going to get in there right now. I've already texted him.

I started taking a bath this weekend. He was like, all right, stay last. I mean, you know me. I took a bath. somebody the first time we slept together. I'll fuck with a bath, but I'm two feet tall. His legs in that bath. I feel like I need to get a photo for you. I'm going to be like, keep your boxers out. I got to show great of this.

One time you guys FaceTime me a few weeks ago and you were like in robes and towels in bed. It was too sexy. It was so sexy. I was screenshoting it and I was like, am I wanted to look at this. It's crazy. So anyway, I have this beautiful bath. I'll show a photo for YouTube just so you guys can truly take it in. Oh, yeah. I'm going to put it on my only fan. take five. That's my only fan. It's just one video of us fucking in the bath.

I'm like, you got to pay for it. But yeah, I'm just like, I feel like I should have utilized this. It's stunning. So we're going to get in there. But what do you think we should do? You're asking you what to do in a bathtub? Like, first of all, what do you think we should do? I am scard from your bath with no bubbles.

I was so hammered drunk. We had been drinking for like seven straight hours. all bloated, just stumbling around trying to like, I don't know, figure out how to get. My tub is really high. Like, I don't even know how we got in it. You have to get like a running start to get in that thing. It's so big. And yeah, we've filled it up with no bubbles.

So my first tip is bubbles. That's funny tips. Don't be at me because it will have already happened by the time you guys hear this. But like, I want to make it nice. I'm going to do some candles. I lit two candles. We were too drunk to be playing with fire. I'll tell you that.

I poured two whiskeys. But listen, you need bubbles. I know this. Barkleyes doesn't have a big foupa like that guy did. But if your man is a foupa and you're trying to look at his soft little penis and his fooppa. I know. Well, that's the thing.

Bubbles. No one wants to see a soft dick floating in a bathtub. No. But also, like, I'm just kind of thinking about the hard dick in the bathtub. All of it's funny. A dick in a tub is funny. Also, like, we started having sex in the tub, like, no bubbles. And it's just the water sloshing back and forth.

It's not. It's not sexy. I think we'll do some like for play in the tub. And then the tub is for four play out of it. Take a shower and have sex in the shower or get in the bed. Well, yeah, my shower, we don't have that handle for me to hold on to. Like we've never really... You've got the handicapped handle of the new house.

Did I even show you the shower in the new house? Yeah, you sent me in Sparkleys a video. Oh, of the two showers. You guys, first of all, let me just tell you, I love this house so much. It's like a dream home for me. I have this like weird feeling one day I might buy it. Like, I don't know. I love it so much.

The bathroom in the primary bedroom is so whack. It is unlike anything I've ever seen. There are two full separate vanities. Like not a big, nice, beautiful double sink. Like two full separate with dark wood. You'll rip that out. And then two showers in the bathroom. That's crazy.

One is a tub. I guess if you had a family and you need to put your kid in the tub in the same. Are you guys hearing me? Same bathroom. Two full showers. Same bathroom. We really come a lot of. from living in New York where my first apartment had the shower in one room and the toilet

in one of the bedrooms. We have. We really have come. I mean, I think about my first apartment in New York. Like, there was no vanity to speak of. There was a mirror, like a tiny little mirror that I was just getting ready in. That's all I had. And like a tiny little sink. Like I had to install things to put my like makeup and stuff on like behind the toilet. You know, like it was just a whole thing. You're like 35. You're like everybody else who owns a home and has children. And I have like my foot on the toilet and my elbow on the sink. I was 35. I just, I really, really love you.

Ask me what to do in a tub. You're a bath curly. Well, you also think you're going to, listen, if you ever need shower tips, let me know. You think you're going to use things until they're accessible to you and then you don't. Like, you take it for granted. I've lived in my house for one year. I've gotten in that tub one time. No one loves a bath more than me and it's an enormous bathtub.

I got in there one time and I had to be blacked out to do it. You know, your bath, I feel like you could set up, like, a laptop and watch stuff in there. It doesn't have a flat. Yeah, it has like a big flat. Maybe, I mean, mine doesn't have that. So I'd have to bring in, like, a separate furniture, you know. Go figure it out. I'm surprised.

I'm surprised you haven't been watching stuff in your bath. Well, I have a bedroom with a TV. I usually get out of the water. Are you going to talk about your thing that you got? Oh, my God. We'll also do a video of this. You guys, I bought this thing from my bedroom. More a Brain of Secret Life.

If you guys watch Vanderpump Rules, you know exactly what this is. So I bought a galaxy light and I was wine drunk watching reruns at Vanderpump Rules. And there was like this whole storyline last year where Raquel got this galaxy light. And people were like, oh, fuck did this idiot, get this? And it was Tom Sandoval had like recommended it to her or some shit like that. So I bought a galaxy light. It is dope. So it has two different functions.

It projects stars onto the ceiling, the whole ceiling. And then it projects waves. And the waves are different colors. So there's like blue and green and red and purple. You can pick whatever color you want and the intensity of the waves. and how much stars there are. I told this to a guy this weekend, and he was like,

what if you came over to my house and I was there? Like, is that weird? You'd be like, we're soulmates. What are you? Matching galaxy lights? I feel like that's how you know he's the one. Well, I already think he's the one.

But, so I bought this when I was like kind of wine drunk and I forgot and that it arrived. It was $30. And that was, I bought the most expensive one I could find. It was $30 on Amazon. And I love it so much.

The way that it like knocks my ass out is so good. Well, I mean, I like all this stuff. I listen to ASMR videos, just like ASMR Instagram videos, that people just, like, tapping on stuff and breathing and shit like that. And, like, whisper talking. And then just, like, you couple that with, like, two hits of a joint and the Galaxy Light. It will knock your ass out.

Well, so it's funny that you're just using the Galaxy Light recreationally. Like, to me, it's like a sex thing. Like, to me, it's a vibe for a sexy atmosphere. Depends on the color. Is that red? I did purple the other night. I could see a deep purple, but red. Lighting is so hot as red light special to have sex too.

Yeah. Maybe I'll get like a lava lamp in my new room. You're right. The red I would reserve for sex. I'm so excited for, like, I can't wait for you to have sex in this galaxy lighting. I'm in the minority for two things. He asked me if I like put on music usually for sex. And I was just like, it never occurs to me not once, not ever.

Like you're such a music during sex person. What? Bapapapapap. I don't do that anymore at all. I feel like I've told you this. I don't know if I've shared this in the podcast. You just want to hear a Sparkle Ice Bree? No.

No music anymore ever. If it's on, I need it off. Okay. I don't know what it is. Maybe it was a distraction for me in the past. Maybe it was something I needed to get in the mood. Like, I don't need it. I don't want it.

I find it distracting. We have not played music our entire relationship. Maybe like the very first night or something. And like, we'll lay and play music and take a nap. And like, we love music. We have like all of our playlist, all that stuff, but not during sex. And I feel like I haven't talked about this in the podcast. And I'm sorry for anybody who.

was like, Ashley, what are you talking about? That was your whole sexual personality. Do you still masturbate to Zach? Do you still masturbate to Zach? I still will. Do you still masturbate to music? I still fuck myself. Every once in a while, but not even.

I don't know. Like, I just, it stopped being for me. It's funny how we change. I mean, for me, I've never needed music or a specific lighting. I just, first of all, if there's music on, I'll fuck to the beat and that's embarrassing. Because you can't find it. Like, the rhythm? Like, I just feel like it's like it's bad buddy.

and you're just like... The rhythm. I don't know. A key. Like that is how I will fuck to the rhythm and that's embarrassing. Like the music slows down. I'll slow down. Like somebody at some point will be like, I know what you're doing.

Yeah. If someone called me out on trying to fuck to the beat, I'd be like leave, lose my number and never tell anyone. Well, doesn't that just naturally occur? I guess so. Yeah, I don't know what it is. It just started being distracting to me. It takes me out of the moment.

It's weird. I used to rely on it. But I really still feel like lighting matters. Like I love... good lighting. I'll have sex in any lighting. Yeah, a candlelight. That's nice. It's just like, I don't care. Listen, yeah, if I can paint my perfect situation, yeah, definitely.

There's like a lighting situation. Oh, hear me out. It's actually a fireplace because you have that little bit of sound, that like flicker sound. Hear me out. YouTube fireplace. Seriously? Played it all day yesterday, masturbated twice. Right, and the stuff you do in your home, I will never get over. Like, there's these secret things you do that, like, I hear about.

I put on YouTube Fireplace on Instagram. so you knew about it. I guess I did. If you guys go on YouTube, you can literally Google's fireplace. I don't know if you know this. And then there's 12-hour YouTube's that are just go. Okay. It's amazing.

I mean, I'll do it around the holidays, but maybe I'm going to bring it back. No, actually, I have my favorite flower place. Okay. Well, really quickly, I am just going to tell you about one of our partners and we'll get back into it. I'm going to tell you about quince. Okay. So we're obsessed with quince.

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slash G-G-E to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash G-G-E. Yes. And when Ashley and I started the podcast, honestly, like the furthest thing from my mind was how much we'd be selling things on an online store. And now we use Shopify all day,

every single day for our merchandise and for vibes only. Shopify is a global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. So whether you're launching your online shop or you have a huge full-blown retail operation, they will help you at every single stage. I mean, we have been using this for years on vibes and girls got to eat merch. We use it for managing all of our inventory, every new product.

They make it so easy to switch up descriptions and photos for the items that we sell. The amount of analytics and reporting it gives. I mean, we know what we sell at what hour of the day. Oh, my God. I mean, I check those analytics a hundred times a best. The analytics are amazing and the app is great, too. I mean, I've been using this since 2015 when I launched merch on Bros Being Basic. And I just remember, like, this one holiday season, like, we put out these shirts and they were, like, selling, like, crazy.

And I just had that app. I remember just walking around Lennox Mall. I was in Atlanta and just my shop, I was going crazy and just watching the sales roll in. And it was just, like, it's really special moment. I remember, like, taking a seat in the mall and be like, damn, I'm killing it. Like, just people are buying the shit out of these, like, sweatshirts that we were selling. So I've just used it for, I mean, eight years now. And I love it so, so much.

and we don't even trust anybody that's not on Shopify. Like, we once had a merch company that we ended up firing. Again, merch is always a journey. And we were going to like hand it over. They didn't use Shopify. It crashed. Day of the launch, remember it crashed? Yes.

And we're like, yeah, you should be on Shopify. Like, it is just, we rely on it so much and it's so important to all of our businesses. Yes. And it's fully integrated. There's so many plugins. And you can manage every single order. You can refund people from there. You can manage discounts.

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I mean, that's a ton if you think about the whole world. But yeah, to me, I'm like, I don't know anybody that runs like small, medium, whatever business is. I don't want to know anybody. Yeah. Ew. So sign up for a $1 per month trial period.

at Shopify.com slash GGE. All lowercase, go to Shopify.com slash gGE now to grow your business, no matter what stage you are in, Shopify.com slash gGEE. And yeah, that's a good reminder for everybody that we do have great girls got to eat merch, cute hats and sweatshirts and mugs and wandglasses. And so you can shop that at girls got to eat.com. And there's a link to the merch and everything's there and then the episodes and all the discounts for all of the partners as well.

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so you can suck dick, eat pussy, have it taste like a sweet little treat. And the Debbie is wonderful. I mean, all of our toys are in coat. We guys have heard about them at this point. And we are working on bringing that cock ring back too. So we have suckers available. We have internal stimulation, external. And then you have a cock ring.

Ashley, like, glossed over it. It sold out one day. You guys went crazy for it. So we're working on the restock. Hopefully in the next six weeks or less. Because that is a game changer. Yes. And you can sign up for the waitlist for that at Vivesonly.com.

Yeah. And sign up for our newsletter, of course, vibesonly.com. If you guys are not it, we have a fun newsletter. We always put out like really fun content. We don't spam you. And then you can obviously stay updated on that restock because it's probably going to sell it again. Little freaks. I can't believe how freaky you guys are.

We didn't know. We didn't know it was going to tell it in a day. A day. You guys went wild for it. We went out to dinner with all of our girlfriends the other night and every one of them was like, I want it so bad. I know. Okay.

So we had this incredible weekend. One of our good friends had, I mean, I hate even calling it a baby shower because I feel like that doesn't to adjust. It was a whole weekend long event. And we knew she was doing her quote unquote baby shower at Nobu and Malibu, which overlooks the ocean. It's unbelievable. Had the best meal there and the bartender who randomly I had met before because he is the boyfriend of one of our listeners who she one time brought him to a show of mine at the Hollywood improv. He's this like very tall hot man.

And I recognized her and she was like, he works at Nobu, let's go some time. And like I've DM'd with her a couple times. It was just so funny. I was like, I know that guy. And so he was great. It was so crazy. When she said, like, baby shower at Nobu, but then it turned into, like, all these people are flying in from all around the country. And we're throwing this big barbecue on Saturday, which was also, like, seven hours long.

And then, like, baby shower at Nobu, then, like, running out of hotel space to have drinks and then, like, had pizza and we're drinking for their house. And then they had an after-after party. And then they had an after-after party. You tapped out after, like, eight hours. I stayed for, like, another two. I love this so much. And obviously, not everybody has the funds to have an all-weekend-long event. and their friends and family can't fly across the country for this.

But I think these little moments in life are so important to celebrate. And so I love that they turned it into this weekend long thing. And it just was so much love and so many people and so much fun. And I mean, the first day we just had to barbecue their house. It's not like they're renting out big giant spaces. And the after party, it was just pizza. We just sounded four-day pizza. But, I mean, it just was so special.

And listen, do whatever kind of baby shower you want. But I'd never been to a baby shower that wasn't just like a lady's luncheon where you like open presents up. Yeah. But they had a co-ed shower. and like a ton of people. That's what I'm saying. Oh, you weren't there. I wasn't there.

I was going to boob job. Yeah, I mean, they did that too. They just had a party. It's just like, let's make it fun. Like, the guys want to celebrate too. You know, me personally and anyone I know in my circle, we don't want to watch someone sit around open gifts. You know, I feel like I haven't been to a shower in a long time that you do that. I've not done that in forever.

Bridal or baby or whatever where you're sitting around a circle watching someone open gifts. Most of the time now people are like don't even wrap these gifts, you know. She said you don't even bring gifts. Yeah. Well, they said don't bring them. but obviously we'll send him after the fact. But yeah, I mean, they put a lot of money into this. And people flew in.

And I feel like this was their, like, last hurrah before they had this baby. Of course, they're probably going to be the coolest parents. And they're still going to go out and have fun and all this stuff. It's not like their lives are ending. But I feel like they really wanted to do something special for family, friends. And, you know, they had a bunch of house guests. And then they just planned all this stuff. And it was just like a full-blown, like, wedding-style sequence of events.

It was incredible. I also love this notion that, like, if all these people are flying from over the country, like, you do, like, entertain them all weekend, you know? You know, it was so funny. So I was looking at your Instagram story of the actual baby shower and it was like all men. Your whole Instagram story was like me and cat and like 12 men. I mean, there were so many men. Tall, hot men in this baby shower.

Yeah, I know. I just, I loved it. I thought it was like a really fun idea. And so I think you should make your baby shower an all weekend event and then I would come. I might even get you a gift. I bought them a gift. You got to get him a gift. I got a gift.

I spent a lot of money on you. That's why I did it. She's like, I shouldn't have to buy you like breast pumps because you decided to have a baby. That is annoying to me. It should be my choice. Well, I bought that and staff that playpen. To each of their own. Yeah.

Yeah. One thing I did want to mention is love is blind is back. Sadly, the new episodes come out tomorrow. I know. And we're not going to deep dive on this because it'll be dated. The second set of episodes will have come back. But we love it so much. My favorite season I've seen in years.

I can't even believe it. You know, because we talk about Charlotte. Guys in Charlotte. Not the girlies. We love our girlies in Charlotte, but just as a whole kind of like tend to be more conservative. kind of vanilla bland. Everyone's all cackied up, you know, and that is not the case. I mean, they found some spicy people, like the guys and also like the girls. When they were sitting around talking about the dicks, I was like, this is female bonding at like the top level. And they're

funny. I love it. It's hard to cast a reality show that I'm going to like because you need somebody that's good television, right? Like you watch people behave like Lala Kent on Vanderpumper, she's screaming at everybody and you're like, I would never behave like that, but that's good ass television. But like, you get people that are too crazy and you're like, this is not, I don't like this. This is weird and unrelatable the way these people behave. Or you get people that you're like, you're always like, why don't people act more normal? But if you cast, quote

unquote, normal people, that would be bad TV too. And they really like hit it out of the park this season with people that are like, funny and spicy enough, it is great TV, it's carrying the season. I mean, this Megan Fox comment, she has just batshit crazy enough to have said that. But she's not a crazy person. I don't even think it's that wild

that she said it. I think it's unfair to talk about your looks on a show that is love is blind. And just name the hottest woman alive. Yes. Yeah. I feel like I don't want to pile on. This poor girl, it has been nonstop. And she's like, seeing all this. I'm like, I do feel for her. I mean, she's definitely regretting all that. I mean, I think back to years of doing this podcast, I've said tons of stuff that I was like, I didn't mean to say that. That was a mistake. Right. You know, it just flies out of your mouth. I mean, you try to be recorded for 12 hours a day and not say something insane. Exactly.

I couldn't. I think you got to give these people a little bit of grace here and there. You know, like let's focus on some of them crazy male behavior like Matthew. Fucking psychopath. What? That was crazy. I'm glad you brought that up because we're talking about bad dates and not asking questions. And he came to the table with like all these questions. All these questions. But you had to select them and answer them in the right way or he's about to walk out the room. Because I don't, I actually don't take an issue with somebody writing questions because I think we'll talk about it today.

But people that don't ask questions on dates, I'm like, there's a solution to this. You Google what questions to ask on dates and you go to the date. Some people are just, they're neurodivergent. They're antisocial or they're socially awkward and they can't convers with a normal person. We're not shaming planning for dates. I mean, there was a point it was in my like mid-20s and Kate and I were just dating on the scene. And we got together. We're like, we need to prepare when we get asked what our hobbies are.

I feel like we were going on dates and guys were asking like, so what do you like to do? And we'd be like, drunk. Yeah, drunk. Like we literally got together to plan what we would say, not lie. But like we knew we had other stuff going on in our lives. But we were like, I need to plan out these answers. You know, like I feel like also someone asks you a question, like, what's your favorite type of music? And your mind goes blank.

You know, like, it's fine to, like, prepare for dates, and we'll talk about that more in depth today. But anyway, we love this season so much. And it is my favorite in a long time. I can't wait to see how it, like, how it happens. I feel like I have a controversial favorite person. Yeah. You know, I like Clay. He's sexy.

He's, he's. I'm not sure. I don't want to be too horny. Are you going to make Jimmy? No. Jimmy, who's Francis Ellis without a jawline? For Jimmy is Francis? So much.

Wait, I can't show you guys this thing. I'm watching. There's so many doppelgangers on the show. Oh, yeah. And I will only refer to them. I feel like Jess looks like Brittany Furlan. Like I'll only refer to them as their doppelgayor names. But I said to Ashley, like he looks exactly, Jimmy looks exactly like Francis Ellis.

He's a good friend of ours. He's a comedian. He works for Barstole. And during the interview, he was like, she was asking him, who do you follow? And he was like, I follow a lot of comedians and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I got to get into this. So I go to his Instagram to see which comedians he's following. The only comedian we have in common is Francis Ellis.

How did that happen? I cannot believe he's following. And then, like, do you ever see someone who looks like someone attractive? and then you don't know if they're attractive or not. So obviously, Francis is traditionally an attractive guy. He's a great, like, facial structure. Like, whatever. It's not really debatable.

He could not be your type, but you can't really deny that he's attractive, right? You know, but I'm like, is Jimmy attractive? Or is he just like Francis? Like, he's literally Timu Francis. I was like, Timu Francis out here. Timu, Frans. Timu is so funny. So, but Clay, again, I'm not trying to get to.

horny about this, but Clay is every man who ruined my life in my 20s. Like, he was exactly my type all through college, all through like my earlier 20s. He's a D1 athlete. He ran track at University of South Carolina. He's like a 5x, like NCAA All-Star. Like he's a real deal athlete. He's from Philly. I was like, oh my God. I looked at his Instagram. I was like, oh, my God, he's not him at the Eagles game. I was like, I need to put this away. Like I was like, I need to put this away. Sparkle-Lize like, you can't watch Love is buying And then, like, I know that he's been a little bit problematic with some comments, but I also find him, like, weirdly, like, charming and funny. I know he's like, people are saying he's like a walking red flag.

I'm like, maybe. You're not dating him. But I just, like, he reminds me of so many guys I hooked up with or knew like that or dated or whatever. So anyway, he's my pig. And don't come for me. I know you guys probably are like, but all the thing about the band, whatever. You know what I've not heard a lot of people on pack? I feel like we have to do, like, you know Ashley and I could do like 45 minute episodes only on Love is blind.

But I have one more question for you about Love is Blind, your thoughts on the scene. So there is a scene. First of all, they get so drunk at that, like, party where everybody meets. Everyone's so blacked out always, every season. So there's a scene where, like, Jimmy is talking to Chelsea about AD's Bonnie. Yeah. And he makes, like, a comment. And she seems, like, pretty okay with it at first.

Like, she seems to kind of just be like, yeah, you know, she's looking at what she's working with, you know. I think she's trying to be like, I think lots of girls check out girls with their man. And it's harmless, usually. but it's usually not a man that I met three days ago who I'm engaged to. So I didn't see a lot of chatter about this, but I'm like curious, your thoughts. You didn't? I only saw like one or two TikToks about this. You're not in the shade room then.

Oh, okay. The shade room is covering love is blind this season. Okay. I mean, so first of all, AD has an insane body, and I think she's super beautiful, and I like that match up even just physically her and Clay. Like, I think they look so hot together. That was crazy to me. The way that he was, Jimmy was like, look at her.

she stacked like kind of like it was it was jarring to me yes like i would talk about that with my boyfriend in private like you know i'm not a kind of person that's like we can't check out other people you know i could like her body and he'd be like yeah damn you know like yes but hey there's all this stuff of you can kind of feel that he doesn't really find Chelsea that attractive because he keeps trying to convince himself and saying looks don't matter maybe he does and it's not that i am saying she's unattractive i just i'm not feeling the attraction between them so for him to common in this other woman's body and looks, but like, it was, did not feel nor. I kind of was like, okay, well, she seems fine with it. But the way that he was just like, there's a delivery about that.

There's a delivery that is just like, I am checking her out so hard right in this moment. And you feel the energy of, I wish you looked more like that. The verbiage was really weird to me. Stacked. Like, it's kind of gross. It's just like, we're not in a locker room with your buddies. Like, I'm not your friend. If I bring it up and I'm like, look at that girl's boobs. And we're a dinner and it's private and we don't know that person, fine. There's like tears to it. Like, I've brought it up. It's a person we don't both know. We're in public. I mean, I feel like it's weird to make a scene, really. I feel like their voices were elevated. I feel like everyone was looking and to make a scene about a woman's body part. And listen, maybe she loved it. She certainly played it

cool. It's presumptuous. But like, I'm thinking about your boobs, for example. Like, I'm thinking about being in a social setting, clearly we're never going to be a setting that is like love is blind. But being in that setting and like someone's boyfriend is like, Raina's tits, huh? And then everyone is like, oh yeah, look at those tits. Like I full body shells. Right. You know what I'm saying? That's insane.

And like you actually would probably play it cool. I would, but I would be so mad about it after. And I would be mad that the girlfriend didn't reel her boyfriend in. I'd be mad that he had the fucking audacity to say that anywhere near me. You could talk about me and my body behind my back or on the internet anytime you like. I mean, I guess there's some world. I think Rob's always saying you out of like hot little body, you know, and like his wife's right there. But he's like a close friend.

That's one of my best friends. Yeah. You know, like, right. Exactly. Like there's that too. But I'm thinking of. I, like, I thought of you. I was like all the settings we've been in, everybody in their partners, someone's out here like, hey, Rayna, those fucking tits.

I hate it. I hate it. It's the same thing. And I don't know. He felt like he had permission to do that because what she, it's, it is very, you know, in your face. It's because it looks so good. You know, she's wearing a tight dress.

Like the vibe was very like, I'm allowed to or something. But like, you're right though. Like the analogy for me is like if I were a low cut tight dress, no one's allowed to discuss that. And certainly not someone else's boyfriend. Yeah. And I'm not blaming Chelsea at all because she met that man five minutes ago. She is one of those moments where like you're trying to process that you're like a deer in headlights almost. Your brain is like, I can't even figure out what to do with this information.

I don't fall to try out for how she acted. No, I would, I would just be like, I am on national television. I just met this man. I am drinking. Let me try to act okay. Yeah. And I think she probably. was like if AD has a problem with it, I will have a problem with it outwardly.

Yeah. But I don't think any woman is trying to hear their man talk about another woman's body with that language so loudly and then engage with that woman. Like they think it's so funny. Yeah. Oh. Right. Anyway, I'm glad I brought that up.

But we feel like the last season was such a dud and maybe even the one before that. I haven't loved a season like this in a while. So I'm like, Charlotte. I could tolerate the Seattle season. What was before that? I liked Chicago. That was crazy, obviously, with Deep Day. I think Chicago was good.

Oh, the third season was Cole and that girl who, what's your name? Little cuties. The cuties. The cuties. Cudie gate. First season was Atlanta. Second season was Chicago. Then the third one was Cole and the cuties.

Okay. Then Seattle. Then fifth season is only two couples made it. Oh, right. And now we're in the sixth season. Tess is shaking our head, but I'm right. So I have not been thrilled about the last two that much. Yeah.

Seattle. And no one like the last. Seattle was the one were they only. Stacy and that boy, the bald boy, who didn't have any money. Oh, poor boy. Broke boy. Broke boy. You can't get no pussy.

Okay. Yeah, it's all coming back to me. Where were they? Dallas. There was Houston and Dallas. Texas, whatever. I got them all straight. Okay, so Seattle was the, like, most boring, I guess.

Yeah. But, like, what I'm saying is, like, casting is hard because, like, those people are, quote, boring because they're just, like, normal-ass people. Yeah, yeah. No, like, and also, like, healthy relationships can look very boring from the outside. You know, there's, like, no. drama, whatever. So, okay, now, I got them all straight. We'll do a power ranking at some point. But Charlotte is up there. I'm really liking it. I can't wait. Well, I'm...

Atlanta and Charlotte. I love it. Love to see it. Okay, well, let's talk about article, and then we will get into our episode. We love articles so much. I had a recent hall that I'm so excited about. And I got that beautiful decor mirror, and that's going to go above the fireplace in my bedroom. So I'm so excited. I like art, and I got some, like, patio furniture. I really have always loved their patio furniture so much. And I got this really great filing cabinet. Like I had this desk in my house and I was like, I just need more space for honestly for our sex toys like that are like in, you know, like I have them sitting on my desk and I like to show off the boxes and things. So I got this really cute filing cabinet from article and it sits next to my desk and is like this perfect addition to my little

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Okay, it is stunning. I love it. You have Bucle-ass bit. I honestly, I just bought some bouclea curtains, and if Bucle ever goes out of style, we're in trouble. No, I don't think. That's a texture, right? I don't think it could. Yeah, it's a texture.

But I love it. If you like a stiffer couch, I mean, they have tons of different options. This is a little bit stiffer. But I love it. It's beautiful. The bottom is like wood. The color is ivory. And then Tessa actually managed the delivery.

And the guys came in. They moved the existing couch for me. They unboxed it, set it up. Like, I just couldn't have been happier. They took all the trash with them. Yeah. And I looked at mine up too. It's the Marin, M-E-R-O-N natural wall mirror.

And I just want to tell you guys, I mean, you can obviously look at the size yourself. But it is like four feet wide. It's big. You know, I feel like there's this whole, like, what you ordered versus what you get. And something shows up. It's like teeny tiny. You're like, is this for a tiny home? Like, what is this?

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Oh no. And I feel like people are finding like all kinds of ways to be more terrible. So I feel like, you know, we have obviously beaten to death like who pays and what to wear and who picks the place and like things like that conversation on a date. But like I want to talk about first date behaviors and we crowdsource you guys and we have funny stories. And I just, I was thinking about like first date behavior and I can only speak to men's first date behavior because I haven't gone on dates with women. But like, I feel like there has never been more information available in the history of time for how to not act like a piece of shit on a first date and you need to use it. I do not have tolerance for this stuff anymore.

It's not like maybe they don't know. I don't care. Men run the government and the financial systems. And they can remember every single player in the NFL for the last 50 years, but you can't behave correctly on a date. And every Marvel movie? I don't understand it. Okay.

I just, I don't understand it. If you are not on time being polite asking me questions, Bye. I know. I don't understand it. If you touch me in a weird unwelcome way, bye. If you show up drunk, if you are on your phone, if you're more than 20 minutes late, if you are rude to the wait staff, if you use this date as a therapy session, goodbye. I should not have to walk a fellow human being through basic human decency. Go off. Thank you so much. As long as somebody is polite and kind, I can deal with it. I'll give you a second date. There's all kinds of reasons why people are a little weird and awkward. I definitely don't have a no tolerance policy. There's all kinds of reasons why you are late. You can't make good eye contact. you're nervous, you're socially awkward. I get all those things. But if you don't have basic human decency and conversation skills, I can't go out. I'm sorry, goodbye. Well, and just being rude or misogynistic or racist, what are you doing?

Reel it in. I mean, I guess it's good you're showing me who you are right out of the gate. Totally. It is shocking. The stuff I have heard from you specifically, racist, body shaming women that are in the room. It's crazy. Date number one is the sales pitch. If you are not bringing your

motherfucking A game date one What are we looking at for the rest of our lives? What are you saying behind closed doors? Jesus Christ, put this person on a watch list. Like this is nuts. The fact that you are showing the side of you on a first date. I mean, I don't even know, Raina. What you have dealt with like recently is shocking.

It's so crazy. In terms of like the stuff that people feel comfortable saying to a stranger. Yes. And by the way, a stranger who they've never asked any reciprocal questions to. So I feel free to say any. I want about them because they don't have any idea who I am. Oh, yeah. They've no idea they were even on a date with me. Right. Yeah. To not register. I feel like date number one truly is like bring your a game. Like if somebody's not asking questions and I do want to like unpack this like what was the point of

here? Yeah. You already know everything about you. Ask me a question. I really don't understand it. Like right. Why did you leave the fucking house? You know what I mean? Like what was the point of this? And I don't think it is unreasonable to simply cross somebody off a list for a lot of these behaviors. If you're going to be rude to a waitress, we're not going out again. That you said. No, 100%. I mean, and again, like you said it and I want to, you said it mid-rant. And so I still want to go back and validate it.

It's like I really do understand people being nervous, being awkward, telling bad jokes. You know, like I really so strongly believe in, you know, my stance. It's like if you like someone enough, you're mildly maybe looking forward to seeing them again. They were kind to you. They were respectful. Like, I think you should see them again because I really do think people get nervous. And that could also be a reason for like, maybe not. asking you as much, but I think you can feel that, you know, like you can feel when people,

when that's the reason for maybe being awkward or you might consider it like a bad date. But all this other stuff, I mean, it's just, I feel like it's getting worse out there. And like you said, more information on just what not to do, base level. It's every TikTok on the planet. And I was like talking to a guy friend of mine about like why guys don't ask questions at dates. And he's like, guys are so clueless sometimes. I don't buy.

I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Like, I do not buy that men are just these total. brain dead idiots the don't know how to act in public because men are just as capable as women sort of of behaving like a normal human being and I don't buy this like men are so stupid they can't I don't buy it like they're capable of running their lives in every other aspect of their lives yeah so there's very basic things that I just expect you to do and I don't buy this like men are so clueless yeah but I mean it's just like if they're not asking you questions that means they don't give a shit and now you know I mean I think the blessing here

is that someone does show you who they are on a first date and you never have to go out with them again. And you have a story to share at brunch with the ladies the next day. Absolutely. So I think, I mean, the immediate red flags like Raina popped off about a lot of them, but it's like anything that's like misogynistic racist. I mean, you know, it's whatever your values are, of course. But I think we saw a lot of just like, you told me who voted for Trump or just, I mean, I'm trying to think of a good example. Like guys kind of start to get in this rabbit hole about like, you know, how women are predators to and getting very like men's rights. you had this happen to you. It's just like going down that whole world, not understanding, like,

the way we have to move through the world at all, like not even trying to understand the woman's experience. You know what I mean? Of course, not asking questions. A big one for me is, like, not wanting to share anything and being weird about it and, like, not offering you a bite. Like, I remember... Oh, food. I think you meant, like, personal information. Oh, food. Like, I think it's so weird if you go to a meal, which also I don't really recommend for a first date, but with a stranger. But, like, there's no sort of, like, do you want to try this? That's crazy. And then late, I mean, just a little bit. We'll talk about a situation I had that too.

And then being on the phone or like leaving the date for an extended period of time. I just think that like you can give me 90 minutes to your time, not on your phone. I would not touch my five, zero tolerance for it. We talked, we did a poll with our listeners. And some people were a little more okay with it than others. I don't want you looking at or touching your phone. You can give me 90 minutes of your time. I think we have talked about this before because we have a friend more. Raina's friend who that guy had to take a call what he was gone for what like the whole date. She said he went outside for like 15 minutes or something and came back in and was like I'll

just be a few more minutes and then like 20 more minutes outside. She said she just went and sat with the bartender and like ran up the tab and then left. I mean there's exceptions to every role. People have like high power jobs. They manage a bunch of people. Fires happen. You've got to put them out. I mean, you know, there are worlds in which really perfectly nice, kind people. have to deal with something before a date. And it is more important than this stranger. You know what I mean? Absolutely. It's what it is. You know, like something's going crazy with your business. I'm trying to think of how I would handle it. It is certainly not leaving in the middle of the date. Like, it's casual. You know, at the very least, it's like, I am so sorry. I can't believe I'm this person.

I have got to do this thing. Can we reschedule? I'll pay for your car home or whatever I have to do. And if I feel like I don't have the time to dedicate to this. I mean, whatever. It just has to be like overly apologetic and genuine. And that's how you know. If someone just feels like it yet's totally normal behavior that you just got up and took a call during a date, that's crazy. I have a lot of tolerance for somebody being like, I'm really busy. I have to take this call. That's fine. You and I run businesses. I would leave a date. That's a stranger if we had something that I really need to do. But you probably wouldn't be able to reach me is what I'm saying for the 90 minutes. Like I would just be like, I can commit to 90 minutes on a date with somebody. I'm not checking my phone.

Like I'm not actually taking breaks to look at the phone. Because this person like gave me their time. So I want to like give them my time too. Yeah. I guess I just, I'm like really ruminating on like, I think that like women's standards have raised. I think women have money and careers now and they're having kids later and they don't need a man to do any of those things to have money or have kids. And I think that the standards have changed because women's expectations of what they want, what's acceptable has changed. And maybe it's taking time for men to catch up. I'm sure there's tons of research and social science about this. But like, I almost feel like the bar is so low now. Like women's

expectations went up and like what men did worse? Well, I don't know. I mean, I haven't done a research study on this, but I mean, the older days of men was a little more chivalry. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's gotten worse. Yeah, exactly. The stuff I've put up with is truly shocking out of this world. We did like a episode of a week ago about like different cities. I've dated men in Denver, Charleston, Chicago, Dallas.

I've had really good experiences. New York. L.A. is the city. I've had the most outrageous experiences of people truly saying racist things, body shaming other women in the room, like you said. This guy started a fight with me a couple weeks ago. It was so shocking. He spent almost two hours of me on the date. He never asked me one question about myself, and we are from the same town. I met him on Hinge. Pittsburgh Eagles fan. Yes. You mentioned it briefly. Yes. Pittsburgh Eagles fan. First thing he does me sit down, I was like, hi, it's so great

to meet you, whatever. I said, what do you do for work? He starts telling me, I'm not going to like put him on blast by saying what I was, but it was the descriptions in the name. It's like saying I'm a firefighter. you fight fires. So it was like that. And he was like, do you know what they do? And I was like, you have a pretty good understanding of what this profession does. You know, I exist in the world. And he's like, well, let me explain it to you a little bit better. And then he explains it for 20 minutes. I didn't fucking ask. And it was really condescending and obnoxious. And as he was talking, I said a couple things. Like I dropped in like my business manager, my business partner. At no point did he say, what do you do for work? How do you spend your days?

Yeah. Like I understand that not every city is like hustle driven is New York City. I can't imagine more than a five second conversation with a person in New York where like, this is how I spent my day doesn't come up. But aren't you just interested in what somebody does day to day? Like, apparently not. Nothing. Absolutely not. And then he told me that he thinks that 90% of people in the world should not have children.

And I was like, based on what? And he was like, well, for example, do you know how much of the world is in poverty? And I was like, well, I didn't grow up with poverty. But I think that what you're asserting is you need money to have children. And I don't agree with that. I didn't grow up with a ton of money. My parents were great parents. And he was like, no, do you know?

do you know how much is in poverty? I was like, this is crazy that you don't even know me. You don't know if I want kids or not. This is so weird. And then he got into a fight with me about women's safety and whether men or women are more likely to get into violent attacks. Let's run the numbers. Like, whatever we, what?

I was talking about feeling safe in my home late at night and he was like, you think that you're like any less safe than I am. And I was like, yes, I think statistically people that like case a house and watch you walk in and out are going to watch me walk in and you and they're more likely to attack me. Well, and they're more likely to attack me just walking home. on the street. To my car. Yeah.

And he was like, no, I think the, I believe that you believe that you're less safe, but you're not. And I was like, okay, I'm trying to back on it. He was like, giving me all these statistics. It was like really aggressive. And I was like, maybe we just like stop. And he was like, I don't know why you're getting so upset. Tons of women that I've talked to you about this.

Don't get upset like you. So maybe something happened to you in your past to make you get so upset. I was like, what is happening. I would flip the table. I felt so much anger rising in my body. I just like didn't know what to do. I like wanted to leave her so bad. And in retrospect, I just like wish I would have left.

And I sort of like was like, what was the point of this? Yeah. What was the point of him trying to prove this to me? You're not correct. And it doesn't matter. But why did I stay? But I flagged the waitress over and I asked for the check. And he had had three drinks and I did two.

And he was like, well, why don't we just split it? But I'll get the tip. And I was like, are you fucking serious? So she comes over and I just hand her my card. And he was like, no, no, I'll get it. I was like, no, I got this. Thank you so much. And he was also fucking rude to her.

and I had to go back into the restaurant and apologize to her. Yeah. I just, it's so shocking to me that people can't just be like basically kind on a date. Yeah. And that guy is the fucking worse and I don't think that he's like the norm. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It is just, I don't know, it's shocking that people can't like keep it in the box and keep it together for 90 minutes.

Yeah, I mean, I don't have a lot of that to speak of. So I, and I want to come at it from a different angle to, you know, like what we never want to be like, all guys are bad, you know. Oh, I don't think that. I just wanted to not lie. Yeah, I went on a couple dates in L.A. No, like, dating app dates. No, like, straight up strangers. I mean, that's what we're talking about a lot of this.

These are complete strangers. They did not come recommended by a friend. You know, they're not someone you sort of knew. You didn't meet them. Like, when we talk about these terrible first dates, a lot of them are because it's a literal stranger, you know nothing about. But, again, we support dating out dates.

You know what I mean? So it kind of goes both ways. But I was kind of, like, recounting mine where, like, nothing crazy egregious, just we didn't buy. But people were still like polite. You know, we talked about years ago, I went out with that guy. Like, it was kind of like weird COVID times and he had like the voice of Michael Jackson. And I was just pulling teeth, trying to talk to him.

We were talking about candles. Remember when it started talking about candles? I was like, I got to get out of here. Like, what's your favorite candle? What are we doing? I'm wondering if there's any ways to tell in the early communication. But like, you have the same information as me. You know what I mean?

Like, I was just like, why does Raina kept getting the situation? Like, it's a surprising because I have seen the messages back and forth to these guys. they're not reading like they're going to turn out like this. No. I mean, the one guy was really nice. He actually said he had to stop by his son's Little League game because he was coaching it. I thought that's like so adorable. Oh, right. That old thing. He showed up blacked out drunk, just couldn't have been more hammered and started body shaming every woman in the room. So nuts. It was crazy. And him and the guy a couple weeks ago, or definitely the peak, like worst. Like I did deal with the guy a couple weeks ago and he asked me a million questions. And he was like really friendly and nice.

didn't really vibe with him because I felt like I wasn't excited about like how he like sort of lives his life. He just, everything was just sort of like, I don't know. I live here because it's a place to live. I do this job because this is the thing to do. And I don't think anybody thinks that I'm a person that writes everybody off for every little thing. These have been like egregious situations, all of them. Him just not my person. Right.

But I would recommend somebody else date him. Yeah. I had a situation. You jogged my memory on this because we were talking about like being late. And it was a guy who I was really excited to go out with. And, you know, I'd met him in comedy and we'd been flirted a bunch in person. And he asked me on a date. And he was, like, really great about asking me on a date.

You know, he was, like, intentional about it. And we, like, set a time and a date. And then I got there and waited for him for five minutes, for 10 minutes. I'm not hearing anything from him. And I was like, when do I leave? You know, like, I was like 15. Well, at 10, I was like, 10 is weird. I'm going to message him.

Like, I'm here. Actually, I don't have a no tolerance policy. But if you're more than five minutes, I just want a text message just says, like, I'm running a little bit late. You know, and also, I'm like, 10 is a dragon. If you are alone, we were going to, like, an early dinner. You know, like, no one's there. I'm like, it's very clear I'm wearing on somebody, you know. So by 10, I'm like, what is going on?

So I message him and he didn't answer right away. I'm like, something's going on. He, like, fell asleep. He forgot. Or he's, like, trapped underground. You know, this was in New York. And he just got the day mixed up. And then he tried to make it.

And then by that point, I think I was, like, going out of town the next day. Maybe I even had even had a show, but basically he was like, I'll come, I'll get ready to meet you right now. I'm so sorry. I mean, he was really trying to make up for it. And he sent me like the longest voice member. I remember playing it with you because he was a sexy voice. You were like, why is that the hottest apology ever? No, because he's like a person in the world. People would know his voice. But yeah, this is not one of those situations. This was like felt like an honest mistake. I did not love it. Obviously it turned me off, you know. And then it was like, I think I was going out of town. And then I saw him again. And I don't know, we just didn't really vibe. We never really did like go out on. on that date, but people will, like, ask about, like, when to wait. I'm like, without hearing anything, you can go after 10 minutes. That's crazy. Just walk out the door. No more than 15.

I mean, do not. Do not. I mean, depending on, like, of course, they're coming. Jeez, someone could have gotten, like, a car wreck, whatever the fuck. But the only thing I can think of really in New York is if you really are trapped underground. I mean, it does happen. It's happened before.

There's Wi-Fi on the subway stations now. If you're in between, you're on the train. Okay. You're in between. Like, you're not trapped in the station. You're trapped underground. you have no service. Like every once in while there is a thing that it could be, but I don't know. If you're not in a city with an underground subway system, what could it be? You should have reached out.

Like it's really rude and it's weird to assume that someone's going to be okay with it. This is the audition. Yeah. This is when you should be bringing your A game. And I actually was talking to somebody and they floated to something interesting to me. And he was saying like, it's all bad. Men that are like really charming and great conversationalists and ask a ton of questions to make good eye contact and they're really friendly and Florida. like they do every single thing right. Like, watch out for those guys too because they're like that with everybody and they're like two get at it almost. Yeah. God damn it.

It's all bad. But like. Like clay. I think that there's very, there's baseline stuff about like just be kind, be nice to the way staff, show up on time, be dressed appropriately. Like very baseline stuff. Like I was reading this article about like why men don't feel that they have to ask you questions and why women feel that they have to like fill the space with all the questions.

And I do think there's like a number of reasons why they wouldn't ask questions. And Dr. Romney said they could just be a narcissist. I do think that people are really socially awkward. Not everybody's like you and I. We interview people for a living. I do think people are just awkward with strangers, you know? And the more impressed they are by you, your interests, your hobbies, your friend group, your beauty, like the more awkward they probably get. I got super nervous going on a date the other night.

I was like panicked. But I read this article and I wrote down some answers about like when men don't ask questions. Men tend to compete in conversations while women tend to collaborate. So men are just a little more socialized. to just be like telling you all their accomplishments. Like peacocking. Yes. Yeah.

Women have been taught to modify their behavior while men have not. So women are just more compliant in general where men don't necessarily pick up as many social cues of like, she doesn't like this. There's a subtle expectation that women and females are responsible for making conversation and making men comfortable. So, you know, they're supposed to be warm and chatty and, you know, they drive. Yeah. So I don't think that's everybody, but I do think some men have been socialized like this.

I don't accept it, but I think that that could be the case. And I think it's fine. Like, I don't want to trick somebody into asking about my hobbies and interests. But I do think it's fine to say, like, so is there anything you want to know about me? And see how that goes. Okay, a couple things on this. Have you ever been out with somebody and you, like, know they're just asking about you because they think they have to? You know they don't care.

You know that whatever you're saying is going in when you're out the other. Like, you ever just, you get that feeling from a guy that does not give a shit and you know that he's just like, fuck. I'm supposed to ask about her. And he just gives you the most just basics. So what do you like to do? You know, and you're like, I don't even feel like I should answer it. I know you don't care. Have you ever had that situation?

I can't relate to it. I've only had two experiences. People who ask me zero questions to the point that it is shocking and people to find out what we do and ask me every question on the planet. Because you and are like interesting and fun to talk about. We host this dating podcast. We have a sex toy company. Yeah.

Like people, I've only had those two things happen. I feel like I've had those situations. where, and that's the worst. And you're not really viving, but I don't think it is the worst. I think at least you're trying. At least you can sit there and be like, I think I'm supposed to do this thing. I'm going to try to appear to be. Again, none of it's good, but it goes back to the like, you know you're supposed to do this.

This is standard day behavior and you're choosing not to. And I think we've all been in those situations where we know someone is nervous and they're awkward and they're like, so what do you like to do? What's your favorite restaurant on here? You know, it's like almost cute. It's endearing. Yeah. I wanted to do with the guy recently. He had so many questions. And I, again, not my person,

but it was like cute, how much, it was like the most intense interview I've ever been to, but it was funny. He was like really into it. When you haven't asked me any questions in like 30 minutes and I've had three dates like this year, I just start playing game with myself. Like, how long can I draw this out before I offer a piece of information about myself? Like, how long are we to do this? I've had three dates here where two of them have no idea who I am or what I do or anything about my life. And the third one only knows because I like, rammed it down his throat. And I don't know. I just, it's not for me. It's never going to be like my kind of guy. Like I think some people are attracted to like the strong silent type a little bit more and

want to like be in charge of the conversation all the time and you have to drive it and you're in second place. They don't ask you a lot of questions. But it's not for me. Yeah. And I mean, some guys don't like if you're funny. And that's when they feel really competitive. Like I was hanging out with a friend of ours Leah Lamar recently and she was talking about a guy like that where She was like he could not handle that I would like work the room or tell jokes. Like he had to be like the funny one in the room. So they're already triggered. If you come in hot, confident, funny, you have jokes, you know, you're charming and charismatic and a great storyteller.

Like maybe they're immediately on edge, some type of guys. No, I think so. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me put her in her place. I think that some people still like that. I was reading this text message exchange of a guy, friend of mine and some girl he's sort of casually dating. He genuinely wanted my advice on like what to say to her. And I was like reading around and I was like

Is this the most boring fucking interaction? I've seen between two people you talk to this girl? This is crazy. And he's like, I don't know. I never really thought about it. I was like, did she say something funny ever? Does she ever say anything you can latch on to? This is crazy.

And he's like, I never really thought about it, but I don't need her to be funny. I'm funny. And I was like, I've never related and less than anything. So, yeah. But I think that like he's just like, I think he wants to be the funny one. Yeah, that's fine. I can't relate. I'm sure he's hilarious.

Yeah. So I want to read a few more off of the question slide we asked you guys on Instagram. We'll just roll through them. And some of these we've already gone through. But talking about their ex too much or just other girls in general. You know, we didn't talk. Well, two things. I want to talk about just oversharing because I think some people do that sometimes as a way to like manufacture a connection.

And I think maybe somebody said to them like, you get close to people by sharing past experiences that are shared. And everybody has a past experience with relationships. So people might like overshare a little bit. you just know it when you see it when somebody's cross the line and you're like this is misplaced you've overshared Maybe I need to walk it back. Are we true? Am I your therapist? Yeah.

My trauma dumping. Because I will say that I've gone out on first dates with somebody and talked about previous dates. Like you're actually right about the shared experience. Like I've gone on, you know, hinge dates or whatever and talked about our previous bad hinge dates. You know, like I don't know. It's like we obviously are on the same dating app that's where we met. Like we do have the shared experience. Let's like trauma bond on that.

You know, I say that in a joking manner. But that's not somebody who dated seriously. I will talk about this guy that started a fight with me about women's safety on a first date until the end of time. But, yeah, I don't really necessarily want to hear about your exes, your relationships. I mean, I should just, for a couple hours, I should be able to live in a space where, like, you don't have that. Yeah. Trauma dumping, though, you said, like, it also can feel really misplaced and it depends on what they share. Like, okay, tell me you think about this.

This guy was telling me on a date recently about, like, his parents and his relationship with his mother and his father. And it was, like, a lot of, like, negative traumatic stuff with them. It was the first date. I've been there for an hour. And it wasn't completely misplaced because he was asking me about my family and are you close with them? And I reciprocated the question. And he answered it honestly. I think it was right place, right time.

Because he was asking me and then he was sharing something about himself. I think it was a little too much. Yeah. But I still think he was sharing something about his life that I did ask about. Right. But like, where's the line? I know. Where's the line?

I mean, you got to just gauge how you feel. I mean, a lot of people wrote about them being drunk. Like showing up drunk. You get there. They're already drunk. you know, like, it's such a huge red flag. It's so crazy to me because, like, I think we, I don't know we talked about it on this show. I know we talked about it on you up with Jared where I said, like, my strategy that has been

really good for me recently is that, like, if I have a date, I like to have another plan that night. So either I have, like, early drinks with somebody and then I have plans with people later so you can get out of the date or you have dinner with girlfriends and then you want to drink late at night. I like that number one, the night's not just early, always a wash. And, you know, if it's bad, you're like, okay, I already did this other thing. So if I went out to dinner, I modify my drinking.

beforehand. I'm not showing up stumbling. Well, exactly. But then again, let me walk this one back. Because if you're really young, I mean, we all know, I used to pregame before every day. But I was in college. All of you were not in your late 30s, that is true. Like the drunkest date I ever went on. I think I've told the story before. But I was at class with a friend. I was like, you want to come over after her and pregame? She's like, pregame for what? I was like, my date. We had a bottle of wine each. He picked me up. I call in the wrong name. I was stumbling out the door. My roommates were like, what is about to happen? And that's when we went to wing night and I just ate all these wings and we had beers and he said cheers to our first date

and I chugged my beer. Yeah, listen. I just one took it down and one gulp. Why did I do that? In my head, I was at a tailgate. You know, I was just because when you're, listen, we're speaking from the point of view something in their late 30s. Like the rules are different in your early 20s.

Yeah, I had a guy picked me up for a baseball game. It was a first day. I drank a Mickey's Ice malt liquor 40 in the shower while I was getting. getting ready and then he picked me up. I don't even remember going to the game. Oh, yeah. I was so drunk. I was 20. Yeah. Some of these things don't apply to college students and people in their 20s. But that guy that showed up black, like so drunk red in the face to my date recently. Yeah, that guy was like 42. Right. Exactly. What's happening here? I know. A lot of this, yeah, a lot of the same like rude to wait stuff, you know, fell asleep in the cinema.

That's how drunk he was. We're just tired. Rina. Sometimes you're tired. I don't know. Like, when Rob fell asleep with me in a comedy show. I mean, he's just my friend. But I don't know. I fell asleep at the ballet. Like, sometimes you're just like, I hate this. I'm tired.

Okay, listen, you're going to pass if it's in a movie theater? What if you looked next to you and the person you were on dating was asleep? Actually. Well, also, a movie for a first date is a terrible idea. I know. So never. Hard pass. Why would you ever do that?

You're literally just going to do something where you don't get to talk to someone. That's the actual top tier worst first date of all time. But I went on, this was my second. matchmaker date, you know, I like went on two. He was so tired and he was cool about it. Like, he was a really nice guy, but I could like even see it in his eyes. And, you know, he had like, he was a busy, successful guy and he was so tired and he ordered an espresso martini. And it was his first one ever. And I was like, that is crazy. I mean, this is like a 43 year old man. I was like, tell me you don't hang out with a lot of white girls. You know, like, this is crazy to me. First espresso martini ever.

It's hysterical. And he was just like, I don't know, I'm kind of tired. And I've been hearing. about him. I'm like, this is so, it's kind of cute. It's adorable, honestly. I would love it if somebody ordered, like, a weird drink on a first date. I'm not so cute. But he was ordered also for the actual, like, aspects of it. Like, he was just like, I'm trying to wake up. And he, like, got it up. But I was also like,

I don't know, it's one of those things, like, where you're just, like, you work really hard, but you still want to be able to date. You know what I mean? You want to work hard player. You work hard player, and you show up tired, you fall asleep in the movies. Yeah, I mean, I can understand a lot of these things. Okay, I got to ask you about this one.

I don't know how you're going to feel. Okay. He vaped at the table at a nice cocktail bar. It's just, it's giving L.A. douchebag. Is it bad? I don't know. You act like you've been a relationship for 10 years. Can you imagine?

I don't. I see people vape all the time. No, don't give me that. I'm out here like, I don't remember. I'm in a relationship. I would never, oh my God, you girls on these streets, you poor things. I have a boyfriend. Raina, I'm just saying, I never, I didn't know that it.

I feel like people vape. I feel like that is case by case because I feel like a lot of women vape. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to get dragged for this. It's a personal preference. That's how I feel about it. I think it's an obnoxious behavior in public sometimes in a bar, in a closed setting. Well, I guess I'm picturing people that like do a subtle puff.

Well, let me ask you. They're not like really huge production about it blowing out smoke rings and like flavored smoke. Like I picture like a. There's no subtle puff really. Okay. Because it's colored. you know well let me ask you you're sitting at a cocktail bar like you're just you're on a date with your own boyfriend you're saying the person next to you is vaping do you like that yeah I guess not

so like I feel like I definitely wouldn't want the person I'm actually right I guess it's just like smoking inside I don't know yeah but it's you know the smoke doesn't bother me as much like I mean cigarette smoke forget it yeah I guess it's personal preference but if somebody really hated it I would not like it okay well it's funny to think about someone asking do you mind if I vape maybe that's the answer but listen maybe I'm drunk enough. I always vape if I'm drunk enough. Would you vape on a date on a nice cocktail bar? No, but if I'm drunk enough, I'm stealing everybody's vapes. All the amount of vapes I've stolen from Rob and our friend Gino, I throw them in the trash when I'm done with them because I can't have them in my home. Okay. So I want to share a few tips on how to leave. And then we want to get into some stories from our listeners. So you can just leave. You can always just leave. You can always be as honest as you want. I think there is never anything wrong with being honest and direct. But sometimes you don't want to deal with that, which is like awkwardness at best and anger at worst. So I think I didn't leave that date the other night because I just didn't want that guy to think he like got the best of me almost.

Whatever your reason. Listen, if you don't want to leave, also don't leave. Like, you should take yourself out of any situation where you feel like you're in danger. But don't blame yourself. Like we've got emails of like, I'm so mad at myself that I stay. Don't beat yourself up. These situations are awkward. I am telling you to handle them however you feel comfortable.

I'm telling you these are circumstances where you can lie, whatever you have to do to feel comfortable with someone who was making you feel uncomfortable, you can do. So no matter what, obviously, the best you can move yourself if you feel physically like you're in danger, but I feel like you can be as direct or as cagey as you want. And my strategy, which I think is like the most foolproof strategy, is you go to the bathroom, that's your safe space, to regroup. You take a deep breath and then you emerge from the bathroom with your plan, and then you go over to the table, the bar, wherever you were, and you're standing. You're ready. It's weird to get up and make a scene and leave. Like you're standing and you're ready to go. You took your purse to the

bathroom with you. You know, maybe if you have a coat, it's on the chair or whatever. And you just say, I'm so sorry, something has come up and I have to leave. Guys don't know about our bodies. They don't know what happened in there. They don't know what you did in there. You could be bleeding. You could have pulled your IUD out. You could have taken a pregnancy test now. You got to go. They don't know about what happened in the bathroom with our bodies. So you could always just kind of go under the guys of that. You can say, sorry, I just found out my cat is throwing up. My dog is throwing up. Like, if you already said you didn't have pets, well, now they know you're lying because they suck. But like, whatever you have to say, like, of course you can do

the someone texting you, someone calling you. I have an emergency. But like sometimes it's weird to deliver that lie. Like, I mean, I've done lies here and there to get myself out of uncomfortable date situations. But to me, I feel like the bathroom is your safe space. You go there. You make the plan and you leave. And if you feel like you just want to not have them, have anything on you, give them a 10, give them a 20, whatever, if you feel like you want to go out with cash. Bring cash. Yeah. If you want to do that, you don't have to do that either. And that's my tip for how to handle it. Like, remove yourself in a non-awkward way, which is just got to go to the ladies and then come back out and just go.

Like, they're not going to chase you out of there. Like, they can't say anything to you. If you say, I'm so sorry, I just have to go. Like, the vibe is like something went down and I got to get out of here. I like that my pet threw up. I saw on the security cam that my pet threw up. I got to go. You could do that too.

I mean, again, it's like, whatever your comfort level is, like, some people are like, I just, I'm a bad. I can't do this. I can't deliver this. Then don't, you know, but there you could always have that. Yeah, like, oh my God, my, my pet cam, my dog is sick or my, someone just called me and something's happening. Like, don't, don't get too involved with the lie because then you're just going to psych yourself out. But you can just say, like, I got to go. They just don't know what happened in the bathroom. You're right. And you just, you rip the band-aid off. It is one of those things that just is going to be awkward. And the second you walk outside and taste fresh air, you're going to feel better. Yeah. Like, and I mean, the guy, Michael Jackson voice candle guy, I can't remember if we had one drink or two. We were at the standard in the East Village. And I just was like, all right, well, I think, you know, I got an early morning. I'm going to call it. Like, he didn't fight. His personality was also not one that was going to, like, fight back on me. Because that's the thing you know, too.

Like, if you're picking up on those red flags and those cues that someone's going to get angry at you or, you know, insult you in some way, like, yeah, you want to tread lightly or not. I mean, we're fucking fight with them. But I think we as women, you know, we don't want to open ourselves up to that. We don't want to feel unsafe. and like someone's going to have some vendetta against us or they're going to be aggressive towards us. So, you know, I think that you're on a date with like a nice guy. Like you might feel bad, but it's so easy to just be like, hey, I'm just thinking I'm going to call it. You know, it's really nice to meet you and let's go.

I mean, dates with strangers are just getting to know someone to see if you vibe, like one drink max. Yeah, I don't need to. I've stayed for two on a few. The guy who showed up so drunk, I had one drink. And then the bar taking me over and I asked for the check and I offered to split it because I, you know me. If I'm never going to see you again, I'm perfectly fine to split a check with you. That's fine. I was like, let me see the check. We'll split it. And he started in on me. Like, I know what this is. I know what this move is. This is the I'm never going to see you again

move. And I was like, thank you for saying this because now I know that I made the right decision to not talk to you. That guy that I got into the fight with, I didn't want him to have a moment where he thought he just landed on the one psychotic woman in L.A. that was going to storm out. I wanted him to feel like I was a, and you do what you want. But in the moment, I wanted him to think I was a very rational, very steadfast person that was like, I'll sit here for the next 10 minutes with you. And then And then I'll pay the check and you'll never hear from me again. Because in the moment, I wanted to, like, get up and storm out. And if that's how you feel, you should.

If somebody crosses your boundaries, get the fuck out of there. But I was just like, I'm rounding down my second drink. I'm about to leave here in 10 minutes anyways. Let me just call the check. Yeah. All right. Well, that's my tip for how to go. I love it.

And we're going to share some of the stories that you guys emailed us. Yes. And you guys have asked for more dating stories. So we are committed to more of them. And we are really excited to do more of these. So we asked for first date bad story. is okay so she writes this is actually a second date but hear me out she broke the rules but it's okay because it's a good one it's amazing this a second date okay first day was decent enough to go in a

second at least at that time of my life i was okay with decent bless my mid-20 self i was an uber on the way to the date and he texted me saying he got two seats at the back of the bar so i said great see you soon then he texted me the following he said actually i just ran into somebody so i'm standing up talking to them i'm wearing a green shirt and a white backwards hat also i shaved my beard a little so I look kind of different. Me, wondering why he described his outfit because I had already met him and why he's wearing a hat and if he expects me to hang off with his buddies. Right. She's already met him.

So it's a little suss. This is hysterical. Okay. She says, okay, I'll be the blonde and the red jacket. Ha ha. I like her response. So I walk to the bar. I see a guy in the green shirt and a white hat standing with some other dude.

So I went over to him, touched him on the shoulder, said hi and started going in for a hug when I realized. He wasn't the date I was meeting. So now I'm standing there with four dudes staring at me like I'm insane. I look at the bar and the jerk I was meeting is sitting there dying laughing. He had picked out a stranger in the bar and described him to me so that I'd go up to him instead. Now I have a great sense of humor and I love to laugh, but purposely embarrassing someone is not funny. I should have laughed, but I stayed for one drink. When the date went to the bathroom, the guy sitting next to me was like, I'm sorry to eavesdrop,

but did I hear that correctly? Did that guy just do that? Then he asked for my number and we went on a date a few days later. I wish I could tell you that guy number two ended up being my husband, but I met my fiance years later drunk at a bar. He's the funniest guy I know, and he's never had to trick me to prove it. That's hope, everyone, I promise. What a perfect email.

I know. It's so perfect. Okay. How do you feel about this? I just, listen, I, a lot of things, like, how did this guy even come up with this?

He has the time he's ever done this. It's pretty creative. Like, how did he, he's sitting at the bar alone. He's like, I'm going to run a joke on this girl. And then he's like, uh-oh, better tell her I shave my beard down. You know, he went so hard on it.

Also, he has to bet that when she walks in, that guy is still standing with his back to the door, that she won't see the guy's face first, and then he's going to still be standing there with his friends. Like he really has to like count on a lot of things happening. What if that guy leaves in the middle of this or something? Like, and then it falls flat. And then you're like, why did, why did you make this up?

It's so weird. Like, it's so strange. I can't think of like a personality trait I can attribute it to because it's weird to want to like make somebody the butt of a joke on a second date. So here's the thing. This is just personal preference because you sent me this couple on TikTok or reels or whatever the other day that like, constantly what they put like balloons filled with like powder and paint ball stuff

and they that's their thing and they found each other and I couldn't be me I find it disgusting I was like that guy stormed the capital like I was like that woman's husband stormed the capital and then I got so mad about it and I realized she does it too they find creative ways to like explode with each other but like paint but like you know

cover each other and shit you know like I don't know how they're getting through the world if they like have to shower every time they walk through doorway. She's a bit. Like, obviously they know what's happening. Right. It's probably a bit for social media.

But I'm saying like this couple found each other. Like there's girls that would be like, that's hysterical. And like there are on a second date? Listen, I don't know how, again, she said the first day was only decent. But like it just depends on the rapport they had, which just sounds like they didn't have it. You know, like this is a read the room type of thing. You know, if you went on a first date with somebody and you realize that you both really like to prank and you're both tricksters and you want to do this thing, that's the move. You know, like, I don't know.

It's like he didn't read the room. They were not vibing. And this is not her guy. That's how you know. I agree. I think if first day was great and fun and we laughed a lot and the banter since that first date was really funny. And like I feel a little bit of familiarity with you.

If you fucked with me on a second date, I might think it was funny. But it depends on how the first date goes. It absolutely depends on the person. I mean, two people can do the exact same thing, say the exact same thing to you. And they're received completely differently because of the relationship that you already have because of what you know about their personality. I mean, I don't know. like there's a world in which if I already felt like I had a vibe on this person, I trusted them,

I just knew they were trying to be funny. Like this could be really funny. I mean, it's the same thing as tripping and falling. You know, like, I don't know. Like, it's just kind of. But then there's a point where I'm like, oh, no, no, not at all. That was not the vibe. Like, you just embarrassed me.

And I'm out. If we have no vibe first date, I'm not, I'm not. It's weird as well. Yeah. But like, even also if we've like a little more familiarity or you're a friend of a friend, maybe I've met you before. First date was fun. Like, I don't know.

There's a scenario in which I'm just like, this is so funny and really gives us something to talk about for the first 15 minutes of the date. And I'm like, have you done this before to other people? Right. How has it worked out? You know? On this guy. But I love her email and I love that she talked to the guy next to her and then like, but now she's got her fiancé and all the things. Okay.

I'm going to do the next one. Then Raina's going to end with the real zinger. This is my favorite one. This is my personal favorite. Okay. First of all, I love you both. The messages you put out each week. I'm so cute.

Okay. So here's my first date fail. I'm a recent graduate of college, living with my parents, but have still tried to make the most out of it by using dating apps. I met this guy in Bumble. We hit it off. We talked for a little before agreeing to go out on a date. The day before the date, he makes comments about the need to clean his car for me. I assume this meant taking his car for a car wash, which I thought was very nice, but unnecessary, unless it was a wreck. The night of the date, I text him telling him I need a couple more minutes. And since he was early to pick me up, he says, no problem, I'll drive around. When I'm ready, he picks me up and we start driving down the road.

As we do, I notice a bunch of Starbucks cups on the side, middle of my quaint neighborhood road. Normally, I wouldn't have noticed this, but I had walked my dog earlier that day and didn't see them there. This is so me. I would be like, what is this? Evidence. I didn't see this when I was walking his old earlier. When I looked down in his car, I noticed a half full Starbucks cup that he is casually sipping on as we drive.

I make a mental note, but I try not to jump to conclusions. We go in the state and get along well. Could have been the three glasses of wine I had and he drives me home. And just as I am starting to get comfortable with him, we pass the Starbucks cups again. And every ounce of my body was repulsed again. I hug him good night and go inside and need to tell my parents about this. It's so funny to come home and tell your parents.

Also, by the way, like, Cindy Hustatine, like, the environmentalist she is, she'd be like, oh, fuck no. Like, we are a hardcore don't let her family. Oh, my mom, too. If my mom ever saw me, like, toss a thing out of the car. Let me, I have a question for you after this. Okay, I have a great question. I have a question I love to ask people. Okay.

So anyway, my dad convinces me to go find the cups to confirm my suspicions. When I walked to go get them, sure enough, his name was plastered across the top. There's Starbucks cups. His name's on them. Ashley, you would love this because you're the FBI. This is the best, yes. investigation ever. I'm obsessed with this. I struggle with what to do about this. My sister

and friends kind of told me to laugh it off and give him another chance. So I did and he stood me up 15 minutes for the next date. Oh my God. Safe to say I should have listened to my gut when it came to the littering. Brazen littering is so shocking. It is hard pass red flag. I don't care about anything else. So I used to ask this question to people. Let's say you're dating someone. You're in it

with them. That's your boyfriend. You're like in love or you're falling in love or you are into them. You go on a road trip and you get fast food and then they just throw the bag out the window what would you do okay would you rather out the window or into the back of the car both of them are horrifying to me in the back of the car yeah you just take some like half-eaten food crumbled up trash and toss it into the back of your car well if it's like both of them are horrifying but if it's just you're going to throw it away later you're just getting it out of the front I guess it depends what the state of the car is is there a bunch of food and

if you have a bunch of trash in your car also no that's what I'm saying I would also guy's car, I couldn't believe it. I was like, are you living in here? I know. Unbelievable. Also, this guy, my car was a mess when I was younger. Like, I, again, like, I, you, my, I mean, when I was in my 20s, like, my car really was a mess. But, like, at this age, I'm like, you got to, you can't, you can't, car can't be filled with shit. For me personally, for me personally. But the literary, like, I think about this. This is one of those things that's, like, never happened to me, but it could keep me up at night. Like, what if you were, like, in love with somebody and they just did that shit? Like, I would be, like, pull over right now.

We have to talk about this. I know. It's just when you promise to never litter again, I guess. No. When you're disobeying, just like basic rules of being a human being on this earth, society, like I don't like it. And I'm not such a rule follower. I'm not. I'm more of an ask for forgiveness later kind of person.

But if I see you just toss something out of your car. I would be in New York sometimes. And I remember one time this guy he had like bought like some like headphones or something. And he was walking down the street. And he just like open them up and toss like the plastic packaging on the sidewalk. Like the rage that filled up in my body. it was just like a big kind of like scary looking dude i was like i'm not going to do it don't do it like this won't be safe for you i picked that shit up and put it in a trash can i get so fucking mad

about it is truly one of the most disgusting behaviors i can think of it's just brazen littering i mean i just don't understand it because there is an alternative on every block for where your shit can go it actually is so shocking we got one other email i'm not going to read it but like this girl was talking about how a guy told her that he boards early when they call for military personnel and disabled because they can't check like she said legally they can't really ask you to like prove it, you know? And I was like, that's another thing. I just would never in a million years. When people tell you who they are, do not just gloss over that kind of stuff. That's a really gross quality to pretend to be military or disabled or like, you know, to skip a line. You'll be

on the plane in five minutes. Yeah, no. Insane. Well, probably not. That person's probably like zone Z. Whatever. Yeah. Sit in the lounge and have a drink. This person's probably not in the lounge. Raina, be for real right now. You know the person bought an economy seat. As I said lounge. As it was coming out of my mouth. I was like, that guy's not the lounge. Speaking of rules of society, this email shocked me to my core. I screamed out loud in the house. Okay. A decade ago, I'd just moved to Montana from Seattle for work, fresh out of college. Not to sound dramatic, but it was a culture shock going from a big city to a super small town

and seeing all the same people everywhere. There was a haughty I kept eyeing at the gym, and then one day we were both at the same job site. I learned he was a firefighter. Before our workdays were done, he asked me out to dinner. I was ecstatic. When the day came, he picked me up on the way to dinner. we saw a young deer get hit by a car. He pulls over immediately.

I started falling in love because I thought he was going to use his first responder, life-saving skills, to save the deer's life, and maybe we would take it to a rescue somewhere. But instead, he pulled out a glock. He had strapped to his chest under his button up and shot

these sweet young angel-faced deer point-blank in the head. Are you screaming? Are you screaming? She screamed? screamed. She says, I screamed from the car. Yeah, a person set up a gun in front of you. He came back to the car, covered in blood splatter. He ripped off his button up to wipe his face off and threw off his strap and ended up going to dinner at an upscale restaurant for Montana in just a

white tank top. And all night I kept staring at the little blood spec he'd missed, almost right in the middle of his forehead, mortified, back to the culture shock. The local girl I worked with at the time. We're incredibly turned on by this. Is this unhinged or am I a sensitive city girl? I don't know. I think that it is personally reasonable to not expect a person to set a gun off in front of you.

So I'm like, weak-ass city bitch because you're like somebody set a gun off in front of me. I didn't like it. That's rain is ick. She's like, he shot his Glock and it just didn't do it for me. Okay, first of all, this is giving buck. And I'm not just saying that because it's a deer. It really is like, you know,

buck's always strapped up. And I just, here's the thing. Was he doing it because you need to put it out of its misery? I mean, you just, you got to give me a heads up. You got to be like, you got to come back to your issue with it. Not the warning shot. He didn't warn you. Your issues with this are so, like, people are saying here being like, oh, my God,

he killed a deer. But he didn't kill a deer. Yeah. Like what he was doing, he actually thought was humane. He was helping an animal that was dying be put out of his misery. Yes. And if you have a weapon, like, I understand being like, I don't know how to take care of this. I'm a far.

Like, I have dated men that killed. guns. I've dated men that sleep with a gun next to the bed. Like, I really just take issue with you not warning me. I mean, I think he thought it was humane. And I actually, then he takes his shirt on his blood on him. They're covered in blood. Can you imagine that ride to the restaurant? Like, the way, I don't, I wonder what he thought was going to happen when he got back in the car. She's going to suck a dick. Suck a dick, yeah. And she is just sitting in her like,

she's just like, mom. Mom, can you come pick me up? Like, I... Obviously, we've been with gun control. I think that these things should be regulated very highly. I dated somebody... Yeah, I dated somebody that used to carry... Just carry gun.

I'm like, who you need to shoot a brunch? This is crazy. Like, you don't... You know, it's crazy. Like, Buck is also a firefighter. Was it... Does Lindsay send us? Wait, if you for real, though, did she just change the name?

Yeah, Lindsay texted me the story before. I mean, it's giving him just because I know that, you know, He is a first responder and, like, he does carry a weapon. He's had multiple knives taken at our live shows. Falk has had two really nice knives confiscated. That's the beacon and the live shows. How does he not learn? I also, it's like a dick move.

Like, you should let him take it back to his car. But whatever. That's in New York. Also, like, if this was, like, my man and I had been with him for years and I know that he has a gun and, like, I'm from Montana. And I know this is just what we do. We see somebody hit an animal, and of course he's going to shoot him. I could also see, first date, you've got to warn me you're about to fire a gun. Okay, so I feel like I need more information.

Are you supposed to call, like, animal services? I'm not sure, but like, what if he put it in the back of the truck? And he was like, I'm going to put that on my wall. Like, what? Like, this could have gone so many different ways. Can you imagine? You know what I mean? I'm going to send this to Lindsay and ask, like, exactly.

Like, what a buck did this on your first day? I mean, that's, yes, he should have come back in and be like, hey, girl. Hey, girl. But it's so how you were race. I can see Lindsay being like, of course my husband is going to take his gun and shoot this. He's a first responder. But she knows she knows anticipate it. Yeah.

Well, and then call somebody. I mean, I just hope there's a world in which also this was not being humane and this was a show off type of thing. And there is a world of way. I want to like look at it from that side of like this is a world in which she saw an opportunity to shoot off his gun and do a thing he thought was going to impress this woman. And it obviously was the wrong move. But anyway, we'll never know. That is so crazy. She's so funny.

She goes, am I just sensitive? That is so funny because she's from Seattle. Picture of Seattle person doing that. Barely raised their voice there. I can see someone from every other major city except Seattle. Boston, I'd be like Boston's going to Boston's going to Boston. Where do you even get that gun? It's like they give them to us in high school.

Wait, can I tell you to Boston? This is funny DM today. This girl's like, hey girl. Scrowing back to your old episodes. I'm trying to nail down some Boston hotel wrecks. But she messaged me. Oh, that's so fun. Well, but we perform there a lot.

I wrote her back. I'm glad that you did. You're the one that goes to Boston. Yeah. I thought that was funny. Actually, you can cut that. That's not funny. No, no, no.

I'd love to give my wreck. Okay. The Seaport Hotel. Okay. I love the Seaport Hotel. I love Seaport. We've done a little staycation in that hotel before. I can't recommend enough.

Okay. Yeah. Not the Langham. I'm going to say it. No streaming. No Chromecast. Also, don't say it the Pendry in Eddie City. Yeah. Fuck them. That's also my wreck. There was one. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but this guy took his shoes off at dinner and it was horrifying. And that's crazy. That's crazy. Unless you're on the beach in the sand. And you guys, the photo is so disgusting. Yeah. Oh, they were just at like an Indian restaurant. Yeah, hard pass. Again, you're on the beach. You're at like, you know, the rusty Pelican in fucking St. Pete, Florida. Maybe. Yeah, sure. Time and place. Okay. Well, this is fun.

Yeah, it was. Listen, I know we talk a lot of shit, but it isn't all bad out there. It just is for me recently. It'll be better. Listen, I mean, I really had to dig deep to even find one, find bad dates of all the dates I've been on. And, you know, this isn't to say, like, oh, Rain has the worst dates and Ashley doesn't. I think you've had a bad run here in L.A. You've had great dates before in the past. Yeah. So, I mean, Rayne and I have been dating for 20-plus years and I've had tons of amazing fun dates. We always talk about how fun it was to date in New York.

And I've gone out with so many great guys. You know, like, I've gone out with so many guys that I was like, God, I just, I'm bummed that I don't like like them more. You know, like, this was a wonderful person. There was a guy in Atlanta, I think about it, met him on Tinder probably way back then. And like, we stayed friends. You know, oh, I went on one date, remember that guy who took me on that Taco Crawl in New York. And I was like, we didn't really vibe, but I introduced them to Merrill. Like, I don't know.

Like, I've really gone on some wonderful dates where guys were super intentional, took me out for really, fun activities and were really kind and nice. A ton. A ton. I've had tons of that in every other city. And not all of them have been bad here. A couple of them have been like egregiously bad. Some of them are just not my guy.

You know? So I think sometimes you just got to eat a lot of shit before you find something better. Eat a lot of shit. You got to eat a lot of shit. Is that a sane? Maybe. That's Raina's kiss a bunch of frogs. You got to eat a lot of shit.

You got to eat a lot of shit. Have you heard that? That's a thing. You got to take a lot of shit. And we are full circle. Girls got to eat. Okay, Girls Gotta Eat.com. You can find all of our partners and our merch, of course, that we sell on Shopify and

Girls Got to Eat podcast. We are on Instagram, TikTok, we are posting a lot of fun clips all the time. So get in there, comment, engage. Let us know what you think. And I am Ash Hess on Instagram, ASH, H-E-S-S. Follow me. Raina is reina. greenberg and vibes only r a y and a dot g r e e and b erg okay rena mother fucking greenberg

oh no it's rain a fucking greenberg sometimes sparklytes calls you that rain a fucking greenberg because you said that girl came up to you on the street one time it was like rain a fucking greenberg so sometimes he'll be like rain a fucking greenberg i was thinking about last day and bad was the time i was having phone sex on the street at two o'clock in the afternoon and a fan walked up to me iconic okay vibes only dot com and And if you're having phone sex, you're going to need those. So vibes only.com and vibes only on Instagram. And subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend.

Everybody's had a bad date story that they would love to chat about. So you can bond over this episode and we'll see you next week. How good week, guys. Bye.