Girls Gotta Eat - "If You Have Sex, You Can Talk About Checks" with Jason Tartick

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

It's another episode about money, honey! We are so excited to be joined by Jason Tartick, author of the new book Talk Money to Me, to break down so many important money topics when it comes to relationships. We're discussing financial infidelity (what it is and how many people commit it), why money issues affect your sex life, recognizing red flags, the truth about prenups, and more. He gives us some fun questions you can ask to learn more about a partner's financial personality, and also the 8 (more serious) things you need to know about someone before moving in with them. We even go over signs that someone is lying about money, and tips for approaching tough conversations in the best way. Before Jason joins us, we're announcing our 2024 tour (!!!), answering a listeners' question about her fiancé hijacking their registry, and Rayna shares a traumatic bathroom incident. Enjoy! Follow Jason on instagram @jason_tartick, order his book Talk Money to Me, and listen to his podcast Trading Secrets. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for more info and shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Buffy: Get $20 off your order at buffy.co with code GGE. AG1: Get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 + 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/gge. Clarins: Get 10% off, a free welcome gift plus free shipping on your first order at clarins.com/gge with code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you can have sex, you can talk about checks. Let's start thinking about that. But the golden rule, like the master rules, if you're going to move in together, these are eight numbers, you've got to sit down and talk about. Welcome back. Huge day. April 1st. Everything we're announcing today is not an April Fool's joke. So get excited.

Tour, cockering, all the things. Oh, my God. Last day in the studio at Spotify. Then we're going home, baby. Spotify's been great, but I missed walking five feet into my garage to record. Just hold on. We're going home. Just told on our we're going.

And then I'm so close, eight minutes away. Tessa is too. What a dream. Love it. Okay. I'm so excited about that. Okay. Let's just get the partners out of the way.

And then we're going to get right into our announcements. We're so excited. Hurry, hurry. Just get. Do you have a speech impediment and half of my face is paralyzed? It's getting a little less paralyzed, which I'm upset about. It is? I liked your crooked face.

It's still kind of crooked. My smile really hard. There is the song called Crooked Smile. You know this? Yeah. Okay. That's your theme song. Okay, thanks to AG1 for supporting GGEE.

Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at drinkag1.com slash GGE. Thanks to Buffy for Supporting Girls Got to Eat Buffy makes award-winning betting that's soft on you and soft on the earth. For $20 off your Buffy order, visit Buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. And thanks to Clarence for supporting girls got to eat. Clarence, multi-active cream provides 24-hour hydration and a smooth, refined complexion with a healthy-looking glow. Go to clarence.com slash gGE and enter code gGE to get multi-active day and night cream for 10% off, a free welcome gift plus free shipping on your first order. I'm so hype.

I'm going to run through this wall in my janko jeans today. Oh my God. We are both wearing like. These are so baggy. I was like, is this going to be okay? I have never been more in my like 90s era with all the music I'm listening to. Like recently I haven't listened to a lot of third eye blind. And I was like, I wonder if they're touring.

So I just go look them up Why are they touring with Yellow Card? You love Yellow Card. I love Yellow Card. It's the soundtrack of college for me. They're doing like a summer tour. I'm like, I have to go. I don't know why they're together.

All I listened to two in my Chevy Cavalier in Indiana in college, I drove around crying, listening to Yellow Card, yelling and crying in my car. Oh, my God. The highest third eye blind on tour with them. Why not? They don't seem to like mesh up together. They don't? I don't know.

Same genre. Are they? Same era, same genre. I'll go see them together. I just, I didn't like, link them. the two. I think like yellow card with like my chemical romance. Oh, say less. That would be amazing. That's what I used to listen to. Doing like scream cry. But I really love third eye blind. Like when I really listen back to all the songs, I'm like, I'm so amped about this. At the Greek theater in LA,

I've never been. We're doing a bang bang, I hope. We're doing one night. Well, bang is the same night. We're doing third eye blind one night, Noah Khan the next night. But also now Megan the Stallion is the same night is noa con so listen if we can't get noa con tickets i'm going to be pushing for megan i'll go but i like outdoor concerts in the summer that's like the vibe you know what i mean like i don't really want to go see her crypto dot com arena in june well no con is at msg and so i was going to make me new york or brooklyn bull in l a which is outside you're doing l a yeah okay speaking of being on tour speaking of being on tour oh my god we are announcing the fall and winter tour, the no crumbs tour, because you know we're going to eat. The girls, they got to eat.

They are not leaving any crumbs. The no crumbs tour is going to kick off in September, go through the end of the year. We are so excited. I'm going to cry. I am so excited for you guys to just see the tour poster and the hype video. And then, of course, come to the shows. There is no show like a girl's got to eat show. There is no more fun, no wild night out. You never know what's going to happen because we never know what's going to happen. Crazy stuff happens at our shows. People meet. They go on dates.

They have threesomes. They make new girlfriends. They get stripped on. They get my boobs. Yes, they see tits. They get t-shirts with a t-shirt cannons. They see trippers and drumlines and all the things. Our shows are epic.

If you are new around here, you have to come to one. We have been touring since 2018, and they have just gotten progressively better and wilder every single year. And we can't wait. We've never taken a break this long time. I'm going to be even crazier and more amped. I feel like I have something to live for again. I woke up with Pep in my step today.

I'm so, of course, I live for all you guys in vibes and all the people in my life. I don't care. Whatever, you get it. I am so excited to be back on tour. I am so excited to have an excuse to not go to social plans. I just never have any excuse to not like do a thing. I'm just around all the time. Just around all the time. I also just can't wait to see all of our friends and family on the road. Like I kind of forgot. It's like such a time when we get to connect with people all over the country. I know. I love it so much. So we're going to announce all of the locations today. They will be on sale next Monday. April 8th at 10 a.m. local time. And then you can get tickets at girls got to eat.com. It'll all be on the website. We are kicking the tour off in Las Vegas, baby. Oh my God. Never done a show. There were a bunch of new markets on this tour. I cannot fucking wake up and shake the glitter up your clothes. Isn't that right? Vegas can you carry? Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're going to play that song. I'm going to dress as a Vegas show girl. I'm going to dress as Celine Dion. I'm wondering what you're going to wear to be her. I was trying to think on an iconic Las Vegas residency. Wouldn't that be one at the top? Brittany? But people sometimes say I give Celine.

Listen, we've time to think about it. Or maybe just like thunder down under. I'll be a male stripper. You're going to be the Blue Man Group. I hate the Blue Man Group. I saw it once. I was like, this is for kids. I hated it so much. No offense. You come out and how much drive to pay you to do the whole show in Blue? I'm not doing it. I don't like it. Why did that get brought up in the mix? I'm like Celine. If I like four-put my cut from the show, we do it. in blue. Fine. I'm fine. I will. I would. You guys get tickets to Vegas. We're going to meet the Cosmo on September 21st. So assemble the bachelor at parties. Birthday parties. We're going to invite

every person that we've ever been friends with. Absolutely. And even if you aren't engaged, just have a bachelor party, why not? Yeah. Those people are people too. Yeah. People who are engaged. People are healing too. I'm not engaged. You're closer than I am. You might be that. It might be my bachelor's Ashley's bachelor's at party Wait Okay And then a bunch of news stops

So right after that we're going My hometown of Pittsburgh I can't wait My dad's gonna bring his girlfriend Stay next to my mom and her husband Yeah and then your mom's gonna do the cum sounds That we talked about last week Yeah and if she doesn't

My dad's girlfriend will pick up the slack So September 26th in Pittsburgh September 27th Indianapolis September 28th Detroit Michigan I'm going home Detroit I can't wait to see you You know how I healed on Detroit

We're ending the tour there because Ashley just wanted to stay. Yeah, actually, I'm moving there. That's what's at the end of it? On September 28th, we end the tour and I stay in Detroit. So it's actually, technically, it's Royal Oak, Michigan, which is just right outside Detroit. So we're going to do the Royal Oak Music Theater. So just to clarify, but of course we're saying Detroit, and these are going to be all our Detroit girlies. And I guess our Royal Oak, Royal, wow, Royal Oak Girlies.

Then Halloween shows, you guys know we love a Halloween show. We're doing Portland, Maine for the first time ever, October 24th. And then we're heading to Philadelphia, October 26, also at Halloween show. Why did you say Philadelphia? Again, we don't say that word. I hate that it's even on the tour poster, but we can't, we have to like be official. We could. We can do whatever we want.

I might have a changed. Philly, PA. Yeah. So those Halloween shows are insane. Last year, it was just the most fun, incredible time. Everybody dressed in costume. We had good different costumes every night. So again, Portland, Maine and then Philly.

Matt Hustlein will be there. Matt and Steph, of course. And, like, my family will be in Philly. I had told Matt to save the date, and of course he had on his calendar, and then he texted me yesterday. He said, I just had a friend tell me his wedding is going to be on that night. Got him of the wedding. I said, who? He said, some guy's name.

I said, never heard of him. He goes, that's fair. I'll be at the show. I don't know him. If I don't know him, he's not important enough. I'm sure he's great. Congrats to him and his future wife, but no. The Philly show always lands on someone's wedding and you can't go.

It was on Francis Ellis's wedding. We couldn't go to his wedding because we had a Philly show. Right. So anyway, guys, Philly, that's going to be. Back at the Miller Theater. That was my favorite show of last year. Oh, yeah. You want to do the rest? Okay.

November 14th, Denver. We love Denver. Love it so much. And then November 15th, Minneapolis. Minneapolis in Detroit. I can't wait. It's the best one. It's my favorite.

Yes. And then November 16th, New City, Madison, Wisconsin. We've been really wanting to go there. We've really wanted to go there. We did Milwaukee, which is kind of close last year. So if you're from Milwaukee, drive the hour, come. Oh, 100%. That's a Saturday night.

So make a day trip, night trip out of it. December 14th, New York City. Baby. Times Square. Yeah, switched up the venues here. We're going to meet the Palladium in Times Square. Maybe we'll get a billboard again. Oh my gosh, Joey.

We should get a billboard. Somebody should give us a billboard. Girls got to eat no crumbs tour, Times Square. Okay. Okay. And then that's where we're manifesting. We're ending the year. Are you guys even ready for doing the holiday?

We've never done a holiday show here before. Boston, baby. Come back to the Wilbur Theater. Ending the tour, our fate. Listen, we love New York, but our favorite theater. The Wilbur in Boston. Yeah, we had to do the Wilbur. And we did the Wang last time and we loved it.

We were like, we just going to go back to our roots. So, of course, we had a book two nights. So the 20th and the 21st, that's your Friday and Saturday night, right before Christmas. Holiday shows in Boston. I absolutely cannot wait. You know, like, this is the one we had to work around someone else's schedule. We had to work around the special guests of the night. And he better make it worth it.

He don't make it worth it. Sparkleyes will be there both nights. Don't get it twisted. It's probably some of his family and friends. will have his, if he's still single, but we will have his tall, good-looking, single-guy friend. Well, I still haven't met yet. Tall enough. Yeah.

Well, because everyone's tall for me. Well, he's tall for Boston. He's enormous for Boston. He's basically Shaq in Boston at six feet. So that's the tour, you guys. And we are talking about some shows going into early 2025. If you feel like, oh, my God, they always come here and I didn't hear my city. We're talking about going to another country that we haven't been to in four years.

The Valentine's Day shows. All kinds of fun stuff. So we can't wait. We're really packing it in these three months. It's going to be so much fun. Tickets go on sale next Monday, April 8th. Girls Gotta eat.com. And it'll be on our website.

If you're like, I'd want to know the times, the dates, all that. We'll get that up so you these have it to the venues. We can't wait to see you guys. We can't wait. We're doing new things. We have stuff obviously already in the works. And it's just we're just going to keep getting bigger and better, which is like I don't know quite how.

Every year I'm like, what are we going to do? You'll think of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's on me. And Tesla. And like, what are we going to do? Ashley and Tesla, I'll deal with it.

Right now. She's like, what are we doing here today, guys? What are those t-shirt guns? What are these cannons? Like, sometimes I don't even ask if the entertainment is. I'm just like, I'll find out when the show starts. I deeply care and I'm deeply appreciative of everything you guys do. I think it's fun you get to be surprised on some stuff.

You should have always been in charge, but am I going to, hey, Ashley, I've been doing this for five years. I know you got lock on it. Maybe I'll take over right now. No. No. No. Okay.

So that's the tour. You guys, we are so excited. No crumbs. We'll be left. Girls got to eat. Girls got to eat.com. I can't wait. I'm very, very excited. Okay. We're just going to take a quick break and then we will get back into it. I'm telling you guys about Claren's. I did my Claren's night cream last night, my day cream today. And if you are like us, you're a millennial, which means it's time to add Claren's multi-active cream into your daily routine. So if you were listening to Third Eyeblind or Yellow Card or My Chemical Romance in your car, driving around, MapQuest directions out. You know, it's time for Clarence. No power windows. It's time for Clarence.

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Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash GGE. That's drinkag1.com slash gge. Check it out. Okay. So we did our Am I the Asshole episode with Morgan last week. And we got so many. And I just want to start incorporating some of them into the episodes because they're so funny and they're such good conversation topics. But this one just was funny. And I didn't know if you read this one because I'd like start it in her email and I just wanted to read it and see what you thought. Okay. Okay. So again, this was a submission from our topic we did last week. Hey ladies, I recently gave my fiance access to our wedding registry. Because again, they were so much of were engagement related. Right. He added four bidets, one of which is $600. I checked with him to ensure this was an accident only to find out it wasn't.

That's so funny. She's like, clearly it was an accident. You did the quantity wrong. Am I the bad guy if I delete at least two of these from our registry? Our guests will for sure think we have gastrointestinal problems. Did I miss the part where she says how many bathrooms are in their house? They must have four. Four bathrooms.

They're doing great. But listen, that's such a man thing. Like my brother, they have one. They have like a tushy on their toilet. And like he was like, we want one on every bath. Because once you... Well, you never know where you're going to go. Yeah.

And then what? You just have to like use your downstairs half bath and not clean your butt. Like I do understand where he's coming from. But I think it's so funny that the bride was like, babe, we can't. This is crazy. I've never seen a man get so involved in a registry. He's like, I'm not. going to put anything on here, but I'm going to get ultra

involved in the bidet part of the red all he did. That is so funny. He requested access just for this. He was like maybe she won't notice. Did he add anything else? Like luggage or sheets? He's like, I just want to clean my butthole in every room in this house. I need to know how many bathrooms they have. If they don't have

four bathrooms, I will die. That is so He's like, what if I break one? I want to back up. He's like, one other time are we going to get these for free? Like, this man is thinking properly. He's like, I don't want to buy this for myself. Let's have someone else buy our butt cleaners. But if he has two bathrooms and they get extra, how hard are you going on your bottle that is so funny? He wants a breakup a bag.

He wants a backup just in case. Also, what do you think about like, so I have a downstairs bathroom like in my kitchen. I've wanted my bedroom and I've wanted the guest room. Do you think you have to put one in the guest room? I haven't used my guest room bathroom in about six weeks and I had a terrifying situation happened to me the other night. I don't use that bathroom, so I wouldn't put a beda in it. Of course I'm going to talk about it.

It makes me sick. I told Anne, it's straight in the bedroom. beach and she screamed. She did that Britney Furlan. Ew. Like my favorite thing that Britney Furlan does, if you guys listen to this is the worst with Britney Schmidt and Britney Furlan. And I recorded with them recently. She does this like, ew. And it's like makes me laugh every time. It comes from the chest when you're so grossed out and did that when I told her about this yesterday. This is how I am so disgusted. I can't believe I'm living like this. So I've had a lot of men staying with me throughout all of January. I finally got all these men out of my house. I don't

Not essentially. They just show up and I have to let them stay there. So I haven't been in the guest bathroom since then. And I normally do clean up between guests, but nobody else was coming. And then I just kind of forgot. And I was like, no one stayed here. I'm not planning on anybody staying here. I've washed the sheets in that room.

So I had a girlfriend say to me, can I stay with you for a couple nights, my first female guest? So I... She lives in town. Anyway, her boyfriend lives down the street for me and her place is up the street, but she needed somewhere to stay. So I was like, that's fine. So I decided to, like, be nice. I got her some flowers and put it in the bedroom. And I was like, I'll clean the guest bathroom for her just in case.

Yeah. I lifted the lid. Ashley, there was poop color. There was like old toilet paper like sticking. She's covering her ears. We need a camera on Tessa. She has a full, like, she has her arms over here. She's like going like stops up.

The old toilet paper was like brown and clinging to the side of the toilet. Okay, well, I had to deal with it. Okay. So I was like, I don't know what to do. I guess I have to plunge this toilet. And I was like, maybe he just didn't flush it when he left. And for some reason, it's still clinging to the sides for dear life. I flushed it. Actually, it came so close to top. I was like, if one drop overflows, I'm moving out of my house. You have to leave out of my house. You have to leave it. You have to leave it. I will never go back. I'll never go back. Angela Bassett and waiting to exhale, you walk away. You're like, that's how. I don't care. The roof is leaking. The refrigerator doesn't work. And our studio flooded. If there is poop. on the floor from a man that I will move out of the house. Men's shit on your floor.

You can't stay there. Yes. Stop. It's aged. Not the aged poop. So I, I'm like really not drinking right now because the surgery and it makes me very inflamed and uncomfortable. But I was like, I can't go.

I can't go it's sober. So I also like didn't know where to get a plunger in the middle of the night. It was like from the middle of it was 8.30. So. in New York I would just go to the bodega but like I was like where do you get a plunger right now so a friend of mine told me to go to the grocery store so I did I went up the street got it and then I drank like half a bottle of wine and I made her like come into the bathroom with me for moral support and I you push down you're like if one drop comes up and out of that toilet touches my body I will I'll end it I'll end things I have like so annoyed at him what the fuck are you doing I don't understand letting toilets clog and just leaving I've actually I've lived there for over a year and nothing I've never had a clock in the house. I don't even know how that happened. Yeah. He had to know. Yeah. I'm so mad. You don't own a plunger. I don't own a plunger. I don't know. I guess I've dealt with some things my life where I've

clogged a toilet or two where I'm like, I always got to have one. Like when I move into a new place, I order one immediately or buy one. Because like what if, you know, it can be an emergency. I feel like when I moved in, I bought the cleaners. Pull-upil cleaners. I have one next to every toilet. I have those. I bought those when I moved in. I was like, I'm not bringing a plunger from New York to L.A. They're so disgusting. It's so nice. And I just thought, like, I'll buy one when I need it. I live right by the grocery store. And I have never needed it.

Disgusting. I don't. And also, now what do I do with it? Where do I put it? I know. It's like, there's just live in the guest bathroom now? Yeah. Okay.

So this never happens again. So no one has an excuse to do this to you. You are so victimized. He can never set foot in that house again. This is just another water related trauma that is happening in my house. It is nothing but water trauma in this house. Yeah. There's no other problems.

Yeah. Literally waterworld. Anyways, this guy sounds like from the bidet. My brother, not that he listens regularly, he listens when he thinks it's safe. But he would hear that and be like, damn, missed opportunity to not put three more on our registry. Every man is listening. It's like, why didn't I do that? Yeah.

I just let her get all these serving platters and vases. I think she should leave them. She's not an asshole, by the way. I just think this is like very funny. But like, I don't think people are going to think anything's wrong with them. I think they're going to be like, they are clean. Maybe they're European. I don't think anybody's going to think it's weird.

They're living in European lifestyle. That's awesome. Yeah. European clean butts. I mean, I can see you having a bidet on every toilet in a house. So, yeah, I mean, I do own one, and then I'm moving to the house, and she has one in the master bedroom. There's one already on there. Sparkle-E's a bidet fan?

I don't know if he's ever really gotten down with it. He doesn't, like, me touch his butt, so I don't know if he always feel about a hard stream of water. I don't know. I always try to mess around with him and, like, touch his butt. Just you credit card's wife? Yeah, all the time. A lot. Yeah. And then like in the show, he like, I think it's so funny because he knows I'm just going to like go for it if we're naked, like get in the shower and he clenches. We were at this concert one time and I like touched his butt. I was like, are you clenching? I was like, what do you think's going to happen? Like, you think the guy behind you? He's like, Ashley, my butt is traumatized for what you do to me. He just has such a cute butt. You know guys have like these cute little butts and I'm always just like it's one of those things like. Like, Like when you know your partner is like weird about something, you just want to do it all the time. Some guys have just the cutest little butts.

You can't stop looking at them and touching them. It is cute. Yeah. Okay. All right. So no, I don't think she's the ass. I mean, I think she's like men don't know how to live in a house. Like men don't know how to exist in a home.

So I'm going to help him figure it out. And. Well, yeah, I want to know if she took him off or not or if they're going to get four bidets for their wedding. Also, $600. This guy's fancy taste. Right. How much money do you just spend on a bidet? I mean, tushies are way less than that.

Also, I'd be like, just so we're clear, you're going to install all these. Right. I'm not doing this for you. Can you imagine? He's like, we got to call a task grab it. It's like, you wanted this. You do it. Yeah.

Okay. And speaking of male body parts, big announcement. The Richard Cochring is back. So the Richard, you can get that dick. It is our toy that sold out in a day. I have never seen a cockering like this. So it's S-shaped. If you've never seen it before, it is in the shot.

I'm holding it up. At the bottom of it's stimmed. the balls. The top of it will stimulate the clit on you. And it is green. It's beautiful. It's soft. It's stretchy, but not too stretchy. The hole is an amazing size. Yeah. I mean, it should be one size fits most. Of course, if you have an extremely small or extremely large penis, maybe not. But we really did a lot of R&D on this one to have it really be the best size. And the purpose of the cockering is, of course, for the wearer, you know, the man with the penis that it's going to keep them stronger and longer and really help with the blood flow to just have them have a better erection

longer lasting for them and then for the partner, which would most likely be you and your body part if you have a clitoris would be that it stimulates that as well. And it just kind of rest on that and gives you that vibration. So it's working in all areas for this full body sensory experience for both partners. I love it so much. I mean, it is so fun to have sex with. Again, it's so beautiful and it's so soft. We use the highest quality silicone. And it's just really so wonderful. I mean, we did like a follow-up survey with people who ordered it, and we sent it out to everybody who ordered the Richard, who the lucky ones that got it in the one day was on sale and ask them a bunch of questions about it. And people really gave us their responses. And everyone's

been super happy about it because something like this, you know, there's a lot going on. And you want it to fit right. And you wanted to hit the partner right. And we really feel like we did nail it. And we're so happy to have it back in stock. And you guys can order it. And it's just, it's wonderful. It's a great price. Yes. It is Bluetooth. So it will connect to our app. You can get it with our vibes only juiced up lube. It is the best loob in the game that I have ever used. Ashley and I love it. So you can throw that into your bag as well. We have come towels on the site that you can add to your purchase. But people have been so happy about this. And it is just a really different, interesting way to have a partner toy with your partner. Absolutely. So

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We have the vanilla frosting blow gel. We have new flavors coming out for the spring and then for the summer. We're so excited about everything. You guys can get all this at vibes only.com. Yeah. Check it out, guys. We're so excited to use it. Get it before it sells out again.

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They have a free seven night at home trial. So you can experience Buffy before committing to buying it. Shipping is free. We love that. Customers also enjoy 100-night free returns policy. So get those sheets and have your hot, spicy sex and just have a great night's sleep and really upgrade all your betting and, you know, sleep like us, honestly. So for $20 off your Buffy order, visit Buffy.com, and enter GGE.E. That's Buffy.com promo code GGE for $20 off. All right, guys, we are so excited to welcome our guest to the show today. He is an entrepreneur, investor, speaker, and Wall Street Journal, bestselling author. He is the host of Apple's top charting business podcast, Trading Secrets. And you may know him as an alumni of the Bachelor franchise. His new

book, Talk Money to Me, the eight essential financial questions to discuss with your partner. It comes out tomorrow. Please welcome to the show, Jason Tardick. Hey, thank you guys for having me. It's an honor to be on this podcast. You guys kill it. We're thrilled to have you. Yeah, we're so excited.

So this is so funny. We got a DM yesterday from this girl. She lives in Boston. We love our Boston girlies saying to have you on. Like she was like, I would love to have a money episode. This Jason Tardick just came out with a book. She wrote this whole thing about you. Like, we don't know who you are.

And then was like, I have a guest recommendation. And I was like, girl, we're recording them tomorrow. Wow, what's her name? Thank you. Whoever she is. I know. Like, she was like, what? She was like, A, she responded.

Yeah. And B, they're just, okay. What if it was secretly Evan, like, as this girl, like, hiding, putting in a request in. That's so funny. It's your publicist. That's my publicist. No, I actually just like a Finsta. No, true.

So people, like, bring up Finsta and my instant defenses, I go right to my Instagram and I show the people the three accounts I'm logged into me, trading secrets, and my dog page. No Finsta. No Finsta. You want to try. check it? I DM'd you. That's why you're here. Yeah. I actually woke up in the middle of the night and like a fever dream thinking about you. I swear to God this happened. No Finsta. No Finsta. Yeah, but in the reason I say this because I'm learning more and more than like a ton of people at Finstas.

Everyone. I didn't realize that. Of course I do. Okay, what do you do with it? I mean, every ex that I've ever had and all of their current girlfriends and people I just hate that I don't want them to know. No, I just, I just do it to like see what's going on. But I never check it anymore. I feel that I'm more mentally healthy when I don't look at that shit. What don't you look at that for? I got logged out in my Finsta when I restarted my phone. I just haven't been back in. Yeah. Yeah, I DM'd you. I woke up in the middle of the night. We were thinking, like, who should we book soon? And I woke up, and we wanted to, like, book you for exactly April 1st. And I saw on your Instagram, you were releasing a book on April 2nd. And I was like, it's meant to be. Oh, my God. That is perfect. Yeah. And when you guys reached out, we were like, that is awesome. So we appreciate it. Yay. Okay, good. I love that you, obviously, you had a career before The Bachelor, but like, you've, like, surpassed that reputation. Like, I don't think of you like that. I don't think of you like that was your goal. But as a compliment, like, I think of you now as this person who's podcaster. and gives us great advice, and I'd forget sometimes.

Like, do you forget? Well, it was like, I tell this story often, but it was this whole thing I got off the show, and now I own a talent management company, but I'm very open about, like, brand deals and how much we make and all this stuff. Right. And Tyler Cameron was on the next show,

and I got a Colgate deal. And then the next season, Tyler got a Colgate deal, and his followers were more, he's taller, he's better looking, he's more relevant. And so I said, I was like, but what I said, was like, wait a second, we both have teeth, we both brush our teeth. Of course, the next guy is

going to get paid more or the next girl's going to get paid more. So how do I differentiate? And I was like, okay, I need to go back to my roots. And so my roots, my education and what I did for 10 years. And so with that, you know, if like a turbotax deal or a capital one deal comes up, they're going to look at your acumen and what your niches and who your followers are because of that, then your rates change. So it actually was relatively strategic to kind of try to differentiate and move away from the franchise a little bit. Okay. So you aren't just like a pretty face. you actually have with pretty teeth.

You do have good teeth. Are they real? Colgate, yeah. They sell what they want. I did a whole episode on these teeth. Oh, you did? I did composites first. So I did composites right before the show.

That's like the cheap version of veneers. And then they kept cracking and cracking on the show. I bit into a chicken wing. My whole entire wing. Wait, what? On the show. My entire tooth got cut in half. So I had talked on my mouth for half of it.

And you still recorded? We still recorded it. Holy shit. And then because I cheaped out with composites, I left myself no choice but to get veneers. So I have eight veneers. They look really natural. I have veneers, too.

So I'm not veneer shaming. I have them too. I know. I'm open. Dr. Shaw in Tampa Bay. He's a legend. He did Rob Grinkowski's teeth too. What?

Got Grinck's guy? Yeah, Grongk's guy. So Rob and I grew in Buffalo together. And he, uh, when I went through my breakup, he called me. He's like, I think I got something for you. You know, make you happy. And he introduced me to Dr. Sean.

Oh, was the teeth? It took care of the teeth. It wasn't put, it was a lot. That is so funny. Yeah. It wasn't like some girl. It was just like his teeth. Yeah.

Well, that's how you get more girls. I love it a good smile on a guy. I like it's so good. Even if it's fake. Yours don't look fake. That's the goal. I said when I went in there and like, make me look like these are not fake, please.

Yeah. Fuck him up a little. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Make it like a yellow up a little. A little janky. Okay.

So tell us the motivation for writing the book. Yeah. So we kind of touched on it a little bit. Like my background, MBA accounting and finance. I was a banker for 10 years, lent a bunch of money, owned businesses. But then I took this detour. to go on The Bachelor.

So when I look at like my life's work, like how proud it's money and love. Great. Yeah. And so I thought there's a ton of self-help books with money and there's a ton of self-help books with love. But the intersection of both of them, there's not really anything like it. And through research, I can rattle off a bunch of statistics, but it's a huge issue in this country is how money is impacting our love in relationships.

We know that, you know, it's the second leading cause of divorce behind infidelity, money arguments and we know that 50% of couples don't feel comfortable talking about money and there are so many more statistics that I could bore all your listeners with but we know it's an issue and so this book addresses it with eight questions you have to know about your finances eight questions you should know about your partners and how to talk through them I love the book I could not put it down I was like Ashley this is brilliant we've done a lot of episodes about money and we've had really generous guests but like this is the most practical like I could say these questions to my partner and feel like this is a normal natural conversation because I think you hear a lot of advice about how to talk to your partner

about finances. It's still like no one talks like that. Yeah. No one's going to respond well to that. Tell me your net worth. Yes. It's like, no, that's not how it works. Well, and I think that there's so many different reasons, but if you know there's a disparity, it's awkward. You know what I mean? Especially if you're a woman who makes more. There's just a million different reasons. There's your shame surrounding whatever you might have going on. And there's also, then there's this whole, like, I don't want to know. You know, like I have a friend that, I mean, they were married. They have kids and stuff came up after that, you know, five plus years post-marriage, post-two children where she was like, what the fuck?

You know, like, how did I miss this? Yeah. I'm like, I don't know. Did you ever sit down and ask the question? Yeah, exactly. And I'm glad you said the word shame because shame is the biggest issue with money, right? We know that shame is a toxic trait of lie that tells us we did something bad. We know guilt is something.

You did something bad. You have to fix it. But with money, we constantly feel shame and or if we showcase our cards, it's usually met with shame. And that becomes the biggest deterrent. So when you talk about relationships, you talk about red flags all the time. I'm showing your podcast, issues, things like that.

You could see them. You could speak to them. With finance, it's like you don't even know red flags because everyone just buries red flags. No one talks about it. And in relationships, and cohabitating in married couples, at least one partner,

43% of the time is committing some act of financial infidelity, which is cheating through your finances, hiding money purchases, things like that, like material ones. And so with transparency, you can totally have an impact on that. And then I know you guys like to have fun on this show,

so I brought some stats for you. We brought some stuff for you, but it's sex toys. Well, this is a sex. I got sex toys. 73% of relationships in the study we read say that money is a huge tension in their relationship. But of that 73%, more than half, said it materially impacts their sex lives.

Sure. So the resentment built from money is really impacting intimacy, which is a wild concept. We don't talk about it. Right. It's not a wild concept to me, though. I think if I don't feel respected or I don't respect you and this is this problem that I think would have solved itself and it certainly has not, it impacts my desire for you. Of course it impacts your interest. You respect your desire. Oh my respect. Like, I've definitely been in that situation where I've just been like, I don't think I respect this person and you're digging inside of yourself being like, well, why? It can't be money. Am I so rotten that this stuff really bothers me that much? But like, of course it affects your intimacy. Yeah. Especially a lot of women want to feel like taking care of financially and secure. So absolutely is. the direct correlation to the bedroom. So that's a feeling that a lot of women want was what you said. So

the question is like, how would they know that they are secure? Because the problem is so many people gaslight through their finances. So they feel secure because maybe they see that that individual has a nice house or drives a nice car, where's fancy jewelry, whatever it might be. But so many people now are manipulating and gaslighting through the show of what is as opposed to what actually is. And that's where I feel like these conversations could be huge. And there are so many examples of the fraud that happened. there was one person I interviewed in this book. She went by Jane Doe. But Jane got married to this guy quickly after a year.

She made less than him, but her credit was great. He said his credit was bad. So she took out the mortgage. And then he said half the cost, I'll Venmo to you. So her name's on the mortgage. On the deed, both of their names are on it. He's going to Venmo because his credit is bad. That's all she knows.

They close on the property. The day they close, she gets IRS letters. The IRS owns her house because he had back taxes he did not tell her about. And obviously that led to a divorce. And now her and her new husband had to spend over $100,000 to pay off his taxes because of his fraudulent activity. Oh, my God. It was extremely intentional. And this stuff is happening nonstop.

When I went on my Instagram, I wanted to ask you what you're saying. I was like, please tell me if you know anyone that's had financial fraud through a loved one or in a relationship. I've never had more responses. Over a thousand emails we got on this. And these stories were just mind blowing. It happens every day. And like we have to protect ourselves. Do you see that like in these situations where like one person is way more money?

The person with less is like, I feel insecure about asking. They clearly do have more money. I'm not in a place to like press this person. So I'm just going to trust. And that's how Teresa Juna has went to jail. Yeah, exactly. That's as we had Savannah Crisley on. And so of course, Savannah defended her parents, you know, to a very, very strong level on the podcast.

But her parents are sentenced right now for 12 and eight years. And I didn't rip through the court documents for anyone that's asking. But her stance is that they get. immunity to the business partner. He knew everything. Her parents never signed one document. They never had any proof that they're involved other than him saying on the stand. They knew about it. And so the point is like if you're not doing your due diligence, if you're not crossing your T's and dotting your eyes, you could be in this position. It's crazy. I mean, you hear a horror story after horror story. It's so crazy. I mean, I can't believe people don't get preempts. I can't believe people

just perceive it as just like unromantic. It's like all it is is just signing something to protect in the future. Like, I had a crazy story with a family member of mine. Like, you can't ignore it. It feels little naive to just pretend that it doesn't exist and that it couldn't happen to you. Yeah. The best response ever to anyone who says like, oh, no, pre-numps. I'm totally out on pre-numps. It's to stop and pause. And anyone listening here, you have a pre-num. If you're married, you have a pre-num. The question is, what is that? Well, your pre-nup is your state laws. Right. Every state has different laws. And they're, I mean, Florida's is night and day from New York, which is night and day from California as in Tennessee. They're all different. So the question,

question is, do you want to take the law that's in place? It's a cookie cutter law. Or do you want to say, hey, why don't we talk about this and customize it to us? Why don't we make it make sense for us? And so that's the take I have on it. I love that framing. You have one. It's your state's decision. And they are so wildly different. I just have a really quick question. If you get married in California and then you move to Texas and you get divorced, is your divorce under? I think it's where the marriage late. I'm not like a attorney. I'm just curious. I do believe it's where the actual license took place, like where you actually got married and where we licensed is. Right. That makes sense. Unless I think some states have like a time period if you've been there for

X amount of years, it would supersede it. But to this point, you can also get something called Postnup, which is an agreement you could put in place after a marriage, which is really important to talk through these things, especially when you think about like a caretaker at home who's maybe sacrificing their career to bring value. But then all of a sudden it's over because we know divorce rates 50%. Sorry. I know it's kind of dark and down, but it's the reality. You need to protect. yourself to make sure that if tomorrow ends, like, you've given up your career and everything for the family, you're taking care of. I like that you talk about what-ifs and contingency plans in the book. We had Laura Wasserman on the show two years ago. She's a celebrity divorce lawyer. And if you guys want

to go back and listen to that episode, we talk a lot about pre-ups with her. And she said the same thing. Why would you let the state decide what's going to happen to you? Yeah. It's so dangerous to me. I feel for people who have money problems and lie about it and have a bunch of shame. I mean, it's like a tough world out there. You know, like sometimes I don't understand all people are getting by. You know, I'm not going to get into like all of our nation's issues, but like I get how it spirals and I get how you just dig yourself into a hole you can't get out of and you're hoping for something to happen. And so I really do like everyone that's doing these things isn't like the devil. Something has happened in their life to bring them to this place. But if you're going to enter into life with that person, you have to find out what's going on. Yeah. We all have money. Like everyone has some kind of money issue. Right. Even the richest of the rich. Maybe they're weaponizing their money. Like everyone's got some kind of money issue. So I think the idea is like let's eliminate the whole shame of it. Let's not let like love be a poker game. Let's open and be vulnerable. And let's just talk about it. Because you know if you talk about it, every statistic says you'll live a healthier, happier, happier life. So it's like just get on the same page,

have the conversations. We're just not having the conversations. That's what all the statistics say. We're just not having the conversation. So I want to have what had of the conversation. And then I do want to circle back to you talk about like tells in the conversations that somebody's like lying or trying to cheat you a little bit, but maybe for like just the healthier beginning stages. Like you opened the book with this great story about how you like moved in with somebody that they owned a house and you didn't own part of the house and you guys bought animals together. You didn't have a living asset contract and I mean, you can tell your own story. But you nailed it. You didn't have those conversations and you put yourself in the

situation that most people put themselves in. I certainly have. How would you suggest opening up the conversation? And I do want to talk about like your questions because I think they're really fun and easy. The first two chapters, I just kind of point the thumb at myself and be like, listen, I got this banking background, I'm this personal finance expert. Like, this is all I've done. My grandpa, he was an oral surgeon, and he took all of his money and put it in with a financial advisor at the time there wasn't the regulation in place, and he got screwed over by this guy. Then to take everything out, the guy charged him a 10% fee. So he lost 10% of his net worth, and he was getting screwed over by this guy. And it's when I was 16 years old, he sat me down,

and he told me this story, and then he brought his computer up and showed me every dollar he had and that our family had. And he said, this is our life's work. You need to see these numbers. You need to get comfortable with these numbers. Here's your grandma's account. Here's mine. And this is how we invest it, because if we're not transparent, issues will happen. So I learned this at like 16. And even me, I was blinded by this. I didn't put us in a position to win. It created resentment, conversations, you know, obviously conflict that comes from that. It wasn't the leading factor for or a breakup, but you put herself in a bad position. So I came up with 10 questions.

If you're going on a date or you're talking to mom or dad or a loved one you want to practice with, to have fun with money. Roll play. Right? Let's have fun. Let's do it. All right. So I'll ask you.

What is one thing that you spend way too much money on? But unless you're completely broke, you won't stop spending money on it. I love that question. For me, it's manicures. How much you spend on manicures? Well, I've always said, like, since I have ugly fingers. I have ugly fingers in nail beds. And since I was like 14, I've always gotten them.

I've always said if I was like the brogest bitch on earth, I'll get manicure. My manicure pedicure the other day, it cost me like $140. If you don't have a lot of money, that's a huge amount of money. When I lived in New York and I was like 21, I went up to the Bronx and I would like get the cheap as I could find. But that's the thing that like I think I spend money on whether I have money or not. Right. Just in that conversation.

It's not a necessity. We could talk like way more about like, so why is it manicure? What else is it that, you know, we could start the conversation. But then I would ask you, okay, you win a million bucks today, okay? Million bucks. This is fun. This is great. You have to spend every single penny.

Like what are you going to get? What are you going to buy? A home. Okay. where? Probably buy a home in Delaware where I'm from. I've been looking for a home there for a long time, like in Dewey Beach. I'm already like on that track, but so I guess that's kind of a boring answer. No, I don't think so. And like when you see a home, like what's the number, most important thing to you in a home when you think about this home? Location. Location, the inside the home. The kitchen. Yeah. My brother always says

you can do anything you want with the right amount of money. Like you can change whatever you want inside the home. But like at a first glance, I'm big on bathrooms. Yeah. I'm a big bathroom slut. Yeah. Bathroom and kitchen. Like it's, those are a big overhaul to do. walk in closets. I don't know. I have like things that are but just in that question like I now know Dewey Beach I know the price point I know the things that matter to you like now we can start talking about other things like what do you know in like five years how much do you want to make like do you want to live in a five million dollar home at one point or is a home not a priority is a trap but you can have fun with these conversations without being like what your network

what your credit score yeah totally you make and it being awkward and weird and that's what the book's kind of built on okay isn't that so fun yeah I think these are just like easy like how do you like to travel? His first class seat's important to you. What kind of hotel do you want to stay in? Well, that would be my answer to the first question. Yeah. Once you hit like a way of travel, it's hard to go back. Yeah. It's like, that's what I spend so much money on. Like it took, I like, was in that place before Raina got there where I was like, I've crossed over. I can't go back. And she was still, she would like dabble, you know, this and that. And then she was like, it's so expensive. And I was like, I have stopped caring. Like, this is what I'm spending my money on. Like, I made a decision,

you know. Right there is why conversation. are so important because you have these preferences, you prioritize thing, it's going to be way different than what I prioritize, and your significant other might not at all prioritize that. But like you need to verbalize, hey, this is going to be my priority, this is where I'll compromise, this is where I won't.

Yours is going to be different than his and mine and yours, and so that's why the conversations like have to happen. Totally. And like I think it's, you know, do you always take a black car when you take an Uber and your partner's like, I don't give a shit about that? And then you just have to accept that you're going to pay for the black cars. But as long as you've had the conversation,

I think that's fine as long as you've both acknowledged it. Because I have in the past just expected that these things would just like work themselves out. The person will start acting right. And that does not ever happen. Sumpions are the worst with money. And I think that like the person makes less money is just assuming you got this. You haven't brought it up. So why would they bring it up and stop the gravy trade?

And then what do you like obviously resentment spill? Because it's like, hey, you're not contributing at all, but you're not even talking about it. Yeah. Let's do one more. What would you say your biggest, your biggest money red flag is? Like if you look at everything in your money situation, your earnings, your spending, your debt, you're investing. Like, what is your biggest red flag? I buy too much clothing that I've never used. I really, really over spend on clothing. Ashley comes over sometimes and she's like, do you think you've a

problem? Okay, so I got one for you. First of all, overspenders immediately in America, we put them in a box and say you are bad. What I say about overspenders, there's some bad with that, but there's also a lot of good. Like you see value in buying and investing in things. You see value in buying and investing things for you. If you spend a lot, you actually have a high risk tolerance. We know that people that have higher risk tolerances will earn more. So like there's cool things about. You're a good thing. spenders too. The other thing, the motivating factor I'd give young people with spending is think about how much you spend, and in this book I walk you through it, how much you spend an annual basis. Let's call it 100K on everything. You want to have about 25 times that save for retirement.

So 100K times 25, 2.5 million. So if you want to retire, go live 30 years, work free, you want to have about 2.5. Now, if you could adjust that spending, just a little bit, from 100K a year to 80K a year, you now only have to have $2 million saved. today when you spend a little bit less and can take that cash flow and put it into investments, you're making a huge impact on like when you could actually hang it up and retire. People are listening to this. Like what the fuck? I need $2 million to retire. I mean, that can't be the norm in America. I'm glad you asked. I've actually bookmarked this. So this is a retirement savings checkpoint plan. So if you and it's got guys,

listening, you have different ages and household incomes. But if you have a household income of 150K and you're 35, according to this, you should have 330K saved up. Okay. So it gives you an idea based on your household income and age where you should have. Not everyone's got that. So then there's another chart in here that will tell you if you're not there, what you need to save today.

So if you have 150K and you haven't saved $1 for your retirement of household income at 35, you need to be putting 21% of your pay towards retirement to catch up. So it's okay if you didn't start yesterday, but it's like you've got to know what you got to do today to get going. Okay. Got it. As long as your values are aligned with your partner, Maybe you're both like, I'll work till I'm 85.

That's true. I'll run for president. You guys go to this podcast? We'll be the right age. We'll do it until people don't want it anymore. That's going to be so fun when we're really old. It's called girls got to eat. It's still girls got to eat.

Yeah, they're like ladies. Golden girls got to eat. That's incredible. No, literally I think when we're like in our 70s, this podcast is really going to fuck. It's going to be amazing. I hear nursing homes are nuts. Yeah, I know. STDs are rampant.

That's what I hear. Like you'll imagine the stories. They get it in. Actually, I want to know what is your red flag on spending? What do you spend on my phone? Yeah, what is your – I meant to ask you. I mean, what is your overall – Here's the thing.

Rayne and I got to a place where we started making a lot of money. Yeah. Prior to that, I mean, everything bad. You know what I mean? Like credit card debt, like spending outside my means, all through my 20s. I mean, I was that bitch on The Bachelorette that was like overdrafting to try to buy like a pitcher of mojitos. Like I was really broke and I was like living barely paycheck to paycheck. And it was dark times.

I mean, I made a decision to work for myself and take a risk and bet on myself. paid off. But I lived two different lives. And I mean, now this isn't necessarily related to everybody, but I feel like it took me a while once we started making money to really start making money on that money. So I sat on a lot of cash for a while. And I had like weird feelings about that. Like I, you know, almost shame about that. I'm like, I know I should be making more. I know this should be in different places doing more for me. And I'm not. And so then you're like, there were two different worlds to live in. One, I used to be this like broke bitch. And now I like have less money. But I'm like, it's just sitting in a checking account. You know.

Okay. I have a couple comments on that. So when you were. spending all that money that you're spending back when you didn't have money, now you have my, do you currently still spend like that or no? There was like transitional years where I still felt like I was like in this scarcity mindset. But here's the thing. I wasn't going crazy spending. I just didn't have any money. But I wasn't willing to like not go to a bachelor at party. Sure. You know, like I wasn't overspending. I just wasn't making hardly anything. You know, it was like a freelance writer. So I'm not a crazy spender. I mean, I think I just like, I like nice things. I spend money on travel. And it's weird to get to a point in your life.

where you're like, I can buy what I want where 10 years ago, you could be they couldn't. But neither of us put ourselves in a position where we can't afford it. Like, I've never spent so much that I was terrified. Her and I are really smart now. I think we've great people around us. We've good investments. But we're really comfortable traveling and doing all those things. We don't put ourselves in a position where we have to be uncomfortable.

Like, I could spend more. Definitely. Okay. So here's why I ask that. And we're going to have you guys on trading secrets. I mean, maybe you'll tell us how much you guys make. But that is terrifying to me. I'm going to be real with you.

Yeah, because you get scared about what? Having to pick up the check for other people. I'll never get a black card. I would never. But if you just talked about it, if you set the expectation, but okay, I make $5 million a year,

I'm just making this up. But like when I go to dinner, just so you know, like, we're going to split the bill. Like if you have the conversation. Yeah. Yeah. We're taught to feel shame around money

when we earn a lot and talk about it. It's like braggadocious and arrogant. When we're broke, it's like shameful, I feel like. But here I want to go to this real quick because people back at home could do this exercise. It's something I talk about the book.

Print out two credit card statements. budgeting is boring Excelphua it's terrible I hear budgeting I want to cringe but this is kind of fun just go look at your spending and see where you're spending and take a breather don't worry about the numbers just take a deep breath and ask yourself why why did you spend that did you get caught into like a marketing trap do you fall for the emails and the links that us influencers put up on there are you spending because you have an insecurity and you're trying to compensate with confidence like there are these weird overlaps with behavioral therapy and our financial behaviors and so we're Weirdly enough, if you take care of some of the behavioral issues you have, it totally impacts how you spend. Most people are like that. When they don't have money and your situation is different, they spend and spend and spend to keep up and go. And then they come into money and they're like, I don't even spend as much as I used to.

Because you've gained so much like confidence and security, it's like you're not chasing it. And so behavioral-based budgeting is something that people don't talk about either. I want to talk about the other, like the real questions because they're part of the book too. And, you know, not those fun, like, if you had a million dollars, he-he-he, like, really? Knowing someone, what they make, their credit score, I mean, this is tough. Like, this sends a chill down people's spine, you know? Like, especially if you're in a relationship, you're new, you're having fun. There aren't red flags flying.

You feel good where you guys are spending and what you think each other may make, but you may, like, move in together soon or you might hit that next level of your relationship and these conversations need to be had. 100%. So, like, I have, like, a dumb saying. It's like, if you can have sex, you can talk about checks. Let's start thinking about that. But the golden rule, like the master rules, if you're going to move in together,

these are eight numbers you've got to sit down and talk about. You have to. And so each chapter is a question. The answer is a number because I always say, like especially in 2024, stories shift, context changes. Numbers don't lie. They tell the truth. So the first one is your credit score. The second one is understanding annual expenses.

The third one is understanding income. The fourth one is a big one. It's putting on your paper because it helps you calculate your net. worth, but also gives you visibility. Where are all your accounts? You know, just maybe once or twice a year, where are the accounts and what are the balances? Because a lot of people hide accounts or take cash for things they shouldn't be spending on. Another one is understanding your net worth. Another one is understanding your risk tolerance because you shouldn't be investing until you understand your risk tolerance. Then the other one is what age you want to retire by and then putting a plan in place for your

investments to make sure you get there. But in there, I give like the very 101 examples. Like people get confused. Investments, oh my God. And I'm like, you should be confused. It's like walking into a grocery store. And on average, each grocery store has 39,500 different items. So we're all going to get different items. Like they have different things for us, different ingredients, different price points. That's kind of how investing is. Like there aren't cookie cutter solutions. So I kind of walk through some examples of what you could do and how you could do it. The average person couldn't answer these questions about themselves, let alone ask another person to answer them, you know? I'm with you. They feel very grown up. You know, I feel like we might have

listeners listening there like 26, 27, like, what are you talking about? We're just both broke bitches and we're about to move together and try to scrape by. And it's like, that could work or it could just really blow up. It's a quicker conversation. So that's great. I love that. You're right. Because how I built this, by the way, when I was an underwriter, the bank would tell me the numbers I had to see from people to determine if we could lend to them. So that's what these eight numbers are. But in them, I go like baby step by baby step of how to find the numbers and how to calculate. It is very, very 101.

And I use analogies like, all right, guys, we like wine. We don't have to be a Somalia, though. We just have to know that at Oregon, they have good pinos. That's our, like, analogies we bring into this. And there's QR codes, like, where if you're an app person, boom, there's an app that'll do it for you. You know, if you want the Excel file, boom, that'll be there for you. So it's very, very, very 101, right? Yeah.

But a lot of this stuff is like the system, I'll give you another analogy. It's meant to be complicated. They complicate it. because when it's complicated, there's more money being made at the top. Yeah, I have to pay people who crack the coat. Yeah, if I have a date tonight and I got a toothache, I can't go to my dick, I got to go get that fixed. It's instant paypoint. If I'm cooking and I slice myself, I need stitches, I go with the ER.

Finance is not meant to make us go get stitches or go to the doctor. It's really created. So it's a slow drip. The burn is very slow. So we don't feel it enough that we have to do something right now. Why is that? Because the institutions make men. massive profits when it's a slow, slow drip. So everyone has to take ownership of it. Otherwise,

you're going to get caught up in the mess. I like that you say speaking like hard numbers rather than hypotheticals because I do think it's important to say, and we always talk about this, like, how do you think about money? How do you feel about money? How do you see your future? What do you value? And those things are important, but they're not a tangible number to me. Yeah, yeah. You can't lie about that. You can't lie about the number. That's the big thing. And then, you know, I also think we get so caught in our day to day that we don't think about like how and what are we doing to plan. Right.

But if you bring finance stuff to like everyday stuff, it can connect. Like you think about a vacation you have that's a week long. Think about how much shit goes into that. Your flights or hotels. Where did you book your reservations? What are your outfits? All the shit, the planning. When you retire, on average, you're going to be retired for 30 years.

That is a 1,500 plus week vacation. But none of us plan for it. Think about what it goes in for one week. of planning a lot, but none of us planned for it. So there are ways to like take the number and then storytell through analogies we do know that wake us up and then get on it. Yeah. I think, I mean, even we just talk about like vacations in general in relationships, because I think of all the things that like couples do together. You might start newly dating and you're sleeping together. Maybe down the road you'll move in, you'll get engaged, you'll get married, you'll have kids, a little family,

whatever. But like the vacations, I think, and Raina has run into this with the ex of hers of like they can build resentment when someone feels like they're paying for everything or is planning everything. And I think it's also nice to sit down and have those conversations too, especially if someone makes more and like you're figuring out, okay, I pay for the hotel. You pay for the ubers and the meals. You know, like I feel like people think it feels really unsexy and unromantic, but what's worse than you are pissed off? So true. The whole trip. And then you're not sex and then your relationship goes to shit. Like, yeah. I hate cookie cutter solutions, but one idea it might work for you is you figure out what you and your partner are making,

what the percentages is a beach, right? Someone makes $100, someone makes $200. The other person makes two times, right? And then you create a joint account, and then you decide how much you're going to contribute monthly, and then the person who makes two times puts two times more. So if the one person puts $100, the other puts $200, and you just use that fund for your activities, your Uber's, you whatever, right?

Again, that's not the one-size-fits-all, but it is an idea, and the idea is there are things and solutions out there for whatever your situation is. I love the percentage solution. For rent, too. I think so. I think if somebody making 3x what you're making,

then I think that we should contribute equally percentage-wise if we can. 100%. I think that makes perfect sense. I was like asking people that when we do finance episodes, like, do you have advice for like tone and speed and location of like where to have these conversations? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's totally has to be felt out.

But I always say there's two things you got to do. One, always start with the fun conversation. Always go there. The second thing. is, and I do, I mean, I do it every day on the episodes of Trading Secrets. How do I get big celebrities to tell me what they got paid on that deal, that endorsement? I start by telling them something. So, hey, I just did this deal with Aquafina. They paid me $100,000 for three posts and four podcast ads, but I saw you did that deal with Fandual. Talk to me, like, how was that payday?

So I think vulnerability creates connection in this space and creates safety. So have fun with the money conversations, and then lead with vulnerability. If you think that people feel shame around it. Talk about your fuck-ups. Be like, my credit score is 600. It sucks, but I also make 500 grand a year. So, like, I'm working on it. You know what I mean? Right. Right. Yeah, I like that. This is another crazy story, like on the credit thing I talk about. So my buddy owns a car dealership, and I saw the paperwork to verify this happen. He had someone come in in in the same week, and one person was buying a $150,000 G-Wagon. Perfect credit score. The interest rate was like 2%. another person came in and had a credit score less than 600

because her parents actually were using it as a co-signer and her parents didn't pay back and they screwed her credit. But she had less than 600. She's buying a $21,000 Toyota Corolla. Her interest rate is 28%. Holy shit. And insurance premiums are off the charts because of her lack of credit.

Her monthly payment for a $21,000 Toyota Corolla was more than the $150,000 GWAC. That is crazy. Right? And so it's like if we ignore, we don't pay attention or we're turning a blind, we are just getting excuse my language you're getting fucked

every day yeah and it's like but we don't feel that pain we don't feel the toothache or the cut so that's where like we need to wake up and we're not taught

it in our school system all the dumb shit I was taught in kindergarten middle school high even college oh my god I had an MBA and we didn't even learn

this stuff well I think you also think to ask your partner how much money is in your bank account what do your investments look like what do you make but no one thinks to ask

what's your credit score what kind of interest rates we get to get on a house that we buy together yeah and also like it's not like it's not like, what is yours? Like, I'm not going to get out. It's like, hey, what is yours? How can we make this? Like, what can we do together to help each other out? Because we're going to save. Okay, another example,

you got a 620 credit score below versus 760 credit score above. Both have $300,000 homes. Only difference is credit score. Over 30 years, and that's only 300K. 300K, 30 years, the person with $760s and pay a $110,000 less in interest than the person with a $620. Right? So this is stuff you just got to got to pay attention to. Yeah. Okay. So we wanted to talk about purchasing joint assets and even living assets without a contract. And this came up last week on our episode too, the dog thing. So we don't want to get too touchy. We know you share pets with an X, but we think people really go into, I don't know what else. I mean, homes and pets are the two things I guess I can think about. I don't know if there's other things I'm missing. But just getting ahead of the stuff. The idea of contracts, right? I'll step into the pet thing.

But the idea of contracts are so important. There's a story of Haley Page. Do you guys remember Haley Page from say yes to the dress? Yeah. She was a wedding dress designer. She went big. Her name's Haley Page. Yeah.

And her design label was called Haley Page. Well, she was moving at a fast pace at a young age and went for her to get her promotion. She had to sign a new employee contract. In the employee contract, the owner said that he owns Haley Page. She has full ownership of it. Well, she signed it, didn't have due diligence on it. five years later was trying to get a promotion, worked with an attorney to reviewer

employee contract, attorney goes, hey, do you recognize he owns literally your name? We're not talking about like the lady. He owns your name. And she panics and says, okay, renegotiation time, take that out. He wouldn't do it. It comes a blow up. Her Instagram handles were Haley Page, all of her like personal

stuff, her fiance, her mom or dad. He took ownership of all those, took ownership of the label. She could not create wedding dresses anymore, which was her only skill set. What? And she could not use her name publicly. Unreal. She lost her name.

She now goes by Chival. And this case is still ongoing. And fortunately, like, she's starting to get some momentum with it. She can't use her name all because of a contract. Now, she started a non-for-profit that helps, specifically women that need an attorney and can't afford it to get an attorney for these lessons. Now, that's the idea of contracts. Like, we've got to learn through this mess. But when you purchase joint assets, you know, it's crazy to think, like, Rahman and Pino, our beautiful dogs are assets.

but like according to law they are. Like you got to have contracts in place for when things happen. So you have a plan. You know, we did it and we don't. And so as a result of that, that leaves us up for a lot of risk. Like a lot. A handshake agreement today is tough. And then a lot of couples do interpersonal loans in their relationships without contracts.

Those are the highest percentage of unpaid loans are interperson couple relationship. What, just like someone lending money. So like lending in couples. Yeah. That's like the number one. And so like I lent my ex like five grand. Yeah. It's the highest likelihood of not.

I've done all these things. Of not being repaid. And you go to legal zoom and for like a hundred bucks you could have a contract in place. Right. So there's just no excuse for it. Right. Like that's the thing too. I mean, we're getting out of like the relationship territory, which is obviously also fine.

But just pay to have someone look at this contract. You know, I think people are like, I'm sure it's fine. And we used to be more like that. And now it's like, no, everything has to be looked at and redlined. And, you know, luckily we've never had a situation where, you know, something was crazy and someone was trying to take advantage of us, like the Haley Page's situation, but it could save your own likeness a name in the end. You hear all the time in the restaurant industry, actually, by Chloe. I knew the story. Chloe lost her name. The restaurant group took it from her.

Laun Shia lost his name. The restaurant group took it from him. So yeah, it does happen. So I'm curious if this falls in the same bucket. So you do talk about this in the book. You like moved in with Caitlin. She owned the house. Right. And you didn't necessarily have any rights to the house. I don't even thought to. But like if other people are in that, scenario where like one person owns the home, you move in, you have no rights to it. You're not on like the deed, the mortgage. Like, do you have advice for people and like what to do there? Because somebody can kick you out of the house. You're homeless. Yeah, for sure. So like I, yeah, it was totally her house and I moved into it. And it should be her house. Like that she paid for it.

I have no right to that. Yeah. And let me just make it like extremely clear when we broke up. Like she was extremely cordial with this. Like, hey, take your time getting out. You're right. But God forbid she wasn't, right? You're kind of left. So having some type of cohabited agreement that says like, hey, if we do break up, you got to give me 30 days and I'll be out, right? Like having something that can't be totally leveraged against you. And having a plan for everything, for the rent, are you someone maybe going to buy equity in the house? So you split it. Are you going to move within a certain time frame? All the questions that you're thinking of, which we all think about, we just tend to avoid, i.e. me. And so the answer is just step into them and get them ironed out

because they're hard conversations, but everybody that's having the conversations, we're seeing the relationships are lasting longer and they're building wealth together in a better manner. You know? But even, I guess, the lease, I mean, if someone were to come in right now and live with us, they'd have to pay rent, which, by the way,

like, people have asked that question in my, you know, current relationship, past relationships, whatever, it's like, you're paying the rent now if someone were to move in with you. Yeah. Yeah, they pay the rent. That's a crazy thing. Like, just floating you.

Yeah. That lends itself to not. And like, like, my current relationship, partner would never expect that. But it's just kind of, I've seen that go south. I was in a relationship like that years ago where I was like, he doesn't make that much. I'm trying to help him out. And that's crazy. That breeds so much resentment. And there was this school of thought of like, but you're already paying it. It's like what's they get to live for free? That's insane. It's a power dynamic. I refuse to set up. So anyway, that's like a crazy aside.

But you know how many people get stuck on a lease because they didn't properly do the contract? They're in a relationship. They moved together. Boyfriend or girlfriend's out. And then they don't have the contract. So they're paying 2x when they didn't plan for it. Happens all the time in leases. Right. But if somewhere to move in now and like Rain and I are renting, would you add them to the lease? I mean, I would just curious how that works. So they have some right to the house that they're paying rent on? I think you should. Because like when I lived in New York and I was maybe like 23, 24, I lived my boyfriend. I was on the lease. He moved in with me. And he was like, he cheated on me. And I kicked him out. And he was like, I live here. And I was like, I live here. And I was like, I live here. You get your stuff. You leave today. You don't live here. You don't live here. You're showing us. You're like. You're showing us. You're like. You're showing us. You're out. You're out. You're out. You're out. And he was like, I live here and I was like, no, you don't. So, I mean, I got him and it would have been smart for him to just add himself to the lease. Also, when I broke up my ex-fiance, we were on a lease together. And when we broke up, the landlord took him off the lease.

Yeah. So you can add somebody as much as you can. You can? And you can even create, like, I know it gets a little extensive, but if you had someone to the lease, then the liability is split, you know? And that also protects you from someone kicking you out. But you could also create like a very small agreement amongst each other. like, hey, we have this lease, and we're both agreeing that we're going to split bills 50-50 or 75 or whatever it is so that it's set in stone. And then one thing people ask about a lot now is,

like, should I be leasing or should I be buying? And there is something I talk about in the book called the price to rent ratio. And the idea is you take the median rent in your city and you divide it by the median average home price. And you could see how many years of renting it would take to own the property. Does that make sense? Right. So, and if they say if the number is below 16, Like if the price to rent ratio is below 16, it's an indicator you should probably consider buying the house. Okay. So it's a good little tool if you're renting and thinking about buying. Yeah.

We're just... It's a lot of action. No, it's just... We've talked with Ramit Sati about like running versus buying. I think it's like important because I think... He's a big renter. Yeah. He doesn't know.

Yeah. He's a big renter. We're big renters. I could buy a house today. You know? Sometimes it's ease of mine. Sometimes like I know what I'm paying. I don't have to deal with that.

Well, we also just like we've moved around a lot. You know, there's a little bit of a freedom to it. you know, but then we just like to always tell people don't get caught up in what you think you should be doing. You know, I think people are like, I'm falling behind. I don't own a home and whatever. And there's so many other factors. Definitely. I was maybe wondering if we could wrap up with like, okay, so you talk about like the positive ways to talk about this stuff. But you've said you interviewed like a CIA agent in the book. Yeah. So like figure out if somebody's lying to you about like what they make. Yeah. What are the tells. Okay. So he is, his name's Chris Voss.

He was the former head of FBI hostage negotiation. So he gives all kind of tip. Is he single? stud. Is he? Well, just like, his presence is a stunt. That's so hot. Big dick energy on that. The way he can, like, change his tone instantly and get what he wants.

It's crazy. Like, when you listen to the bottom, like, oh, my God. So a couple things that he talked about. All right. Especially this guy. He knows what he's doing. Okay. So one thing inherently, just like, here's some tips of tricks.

Inherently, we, in the United States, we have learned that saying yes is something we don't want to do. So if I say, do you want to go to sushi tonight, the likelihood is, the likelihood is, is you're like, well, maybe I'd go. Jason, that sounds great. Your likelihood is like most people would like, maybe I could go. Like, the idea of saying yes is harder. So one thing he talks about is when you're trying to get answers.

Rephrase your question to get a no and your likelihood of getting what you want out of it is higher. So are you against getting sushi tonight? The likelihood of you saying no is higher than the likely of you saying yes. So that was one tip that you can use in any forum. Another one is when he says that if you are over explaining or you are raising your tone, you are officially losing in every which way. That who is over explaining, that is over talking, and that who loses their tone has lost the argument.

That was a good one. Another one was, if you feel like you are backed into a corner, to respond with the person saying, it feels like, it seems like it looks like. So if you're coming at me with an issue, I would respond saying, it feels like it looks like, it seems like. And what that does is it shows empathy

that I'm listening to you. And the likelihood is that, If I'm listening to you, your guard comes down. Another one with Money Talk is a big one. This is a big one. When you're questioning someone, especially a loved one, and you could feel anybody at a deregulation, never start a question with why.

If I immediately come to you, why were you late? You're instantly defensive, and when people are in the defense, they're not going to respond the way for you to win and earn their trust in an argument. So you want to watch out with saying, why first. Don't say why first.

And then he's big on, The one he's like really, really big on, he's extremely big on tone, slowing things down or speeding him up. Like he thinks tone and inflection is much more important than the actual words you use. And so those are some tips that he used while negotiating like hostages to come out of bank robberies and stuff like that. It's crazy. Yeah, Chris Voss. I mean, I think these conversations are a topic that immediately can put someone on the defense. Oh, yeah.

So I don't know any other type of conversation that you really have to go into it prepared with your tone, with the dues and the don'ts. Yeah. Especially if someone does have something to hide or they're not proud of or ashamed of. Like it's immediately can go south. Yeah, exactly. And you think about like the money, just that example. It's like, why did you spend that? Or what are you doing?

You're instantly defensive. But if you use some of his tactics, like in a slow tone, be like, it seems like maybe last week you spent a little too much on that. do you want to talk about it? Like you think about the difference in your response. Like, yeah, I shouldn't have done that. You want to put a plan together for that? Like, how can I help? Like, those are great tips.

Just words, changing words. Just words and tone. Yeah. Words and tone. Nuts. I love it. Yeah. Well, this book is really, it's fantastic.

It comes out tomorrow. You guys can get it. We're going to tell everybody where they can find you. But it is some of the most practical, easy to follow advice I've ever heard about finances and relationships. Thank you. That means a lot. It's great.

It's great. It's great. It's great. I really appreciate it. Yeah. Tell everybody where they can find you, your podcast, the book, everything. So Instagram, TikTok, all the social media handles. It says Jason underscore Tartik.

And then the podcast is called Trading Secrets Podcasts. We're on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, wherever you find your podcast. We have an Instagram page. And then the book can be bought at Barnes & Noble, Target, Amazon, all those places. I hope to have you guys on Trading Secrets one day. We would love to. I love that. This has been awesome.

Thank you for having me. Yes, thank you. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat.com tour tickets on sale next week. save the date for all the dates we announced. Girls Gotteeatatcom, Girls Got Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess, Rain is Raina. Greenberg, Vivesonly.com, get the cockering, vibes only on Instagram.

We brought her for you today, Jason. And subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with the friends. Sit down and talk to your partner about money. And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.