Girls Gotta Eat - Is He Micro-Cheating?

Episode Date: June 10, 2019

It's our 69th EPISODE (!!!), it's just the two of us, and we're bringing it back to our roots and covering shady social media behavior. We discuss when a partner is "micro-cheating" -- what it looks like, what it means, and how you can approach the situation. We also share some awkward/embarrassing/alcohol-related instances that happened recently, reveal our true feelings about 69ing, and play another emotional game of "How I Knew It Was Real." We hope you enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, and check our website for tour dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Buffy: For $20 off your Buffy comforter, visit buffy.co and enter code GGE. Betabrand: Go to betabrand.com/gge for 20% off your Dress Pant Yoga Pants. Bioclarity: Get 40% off skincare routines + 15% off everything else at bioclarity.com when you use code GGE at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's my set of rules. And if you don't want to abide by them, then don't date me. But this is like any other job with a rulebook. You know, follow the rules or you don't work here. You don't work here anymore. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. We're back. Just the two of us. It's a special episode. Here we are. Here we are on a really special day. What? This is more exciting to me than our 100th episode.

This is more exciting to me than our 50th episode. This is 69 today. It's 69. you guys. I double-checked because I fucked up on some of the episode numbers. Besides the bonus episodes, which were the really did two. Right. So it is the 69th actual full episode. I can't believe it. I can't believe we're here. I can't believe just a little over a year ago. We were sitting in this apartment hovered over one mic. We've come so far. We've moved 10 inches. Talking about our 69th episode. It just seems so far away to me. Like when we talked about it,

I was like, who has almost 70 episodes of a podcast? Like, that sounded so crazy to me. Yeah. What? Is your life better than episode number one? How is your life changed? Oh, my God. In the last 68 episodes.

Oh, geez. Okay, we're doing this. It's changed monumentally. Like, I can't even describe what this podcast is done for my life. Numero uno. I don't give a fuck about men anymore. Remember when we started, I was like, I'm getting engaged this year. And now I'm like, fuck all the men.

I love you so happy. Definitely not 60-9ing. If any of us curious. I'm glad that up. I don't care about 60-9. Wait, hold on. Hold on, Frank. You are getting away.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Little teaser for later. We are going to fully discuss our thoughts on 69ing in this intro. But not yet. Not yet. Don't blow your load too early. Yeah, we are going to tell you our full thoughts and our full experience with this But I think we need to really give an update on the stupid live shows.

People are just like, are you fucking serious? We need to talk about these live shows again. Look, if you're not, you don't care about the stupid live shows, fast forward. But this has to, we have to announce this special, extra special, stupid live show. You guys have been asking for it. So we re-prioritized our summer. We're coming to Minneapolis. I can't wait to see all you angel, sweetie, cutie, snack heads in Minneapolis.

We literally changed our entire schedule. emailed our agent. We're like, make it happen, bitch. We were going to... And he's a man. And we called him a little bitch. No, we don't. We were going to come in the fall. And then we're like, we can't, we can't keep doing this to them. Yeah. They've been the sweetest angels since day one of stupid live shows. And we had to come in the summer. Yeah. We were like, why are you going to Phoenix in the summer? We don't know. But we're going

to Minneapolis. Um, on August 2nd will be the varsity theater. We tried really hard to pick the coolest theater. We could find. This place looks amazing. Yes. So much fun. It's a great venue. So we'll be there Friday night, August 2nd. You guys can get tickets now. Stupid Liveshows.com. Girls got eapodcast.com.

Click on shows. I don't know what to say. Friday, August 2nd. I'm so excited. I don't know if anyone's been this excited to go to Minneapolis. I'm like, yes. Like, you know on The Bachelor

when they're like, you guys are going to Minneapolis. I'm like, yes. Where did they announce this week that they were going on the Bachelor? Rhode Island. Everybody lost their mind. No, they did not lose their minds. You know they had to reshoot that scene

a million times, get ready guys, we're leaving California and going to Newport, Rhode Island. And they had, the guys were probably like, what the fuck? And they were like cut. You guys got to get it up for this. Because they all got it up. It was crazy. It's like they just told them they were going to niece. They get like pay like those cities and the like travel to tourism boards and all this. Like they pay for all of it. I don't have to tell you this. I'm sure you understand. So it just, I mean, Newport is beautiful. Don't get me wrong. But like, you know, it's different than like when they tell them they're going to fucking Barcelona. Yeah, seriously. Providence is the Barcelona of the United States.

You know they had to reshoot. You just know they had to reshoot that scene so many times. They were like, Chad, could you act excited, Chad? I live, I don't watch The Bachelor, truth be told, but I watched Jared Freed's recap of The Bacheloret. And I feel like I'm right there with them. Nothing better. There's nothing better. I don't care about anything else. You don't need to watch The Bachelor. Just watch Jared Freed's. Yeah. Bachelor recap. That place is That show is only still famous because of Jared. When is he going to be The Bachelor? That's all I want to know.

I will die to watch Jared Fried. Did you yell talking at people? Nobody loves Jared Fried. We're plugging in way too much. No one loves Jared Food more than you. I'm going to talk about later in the episode two. Oh, jeez. I'm going to tell you what happened to me this week.

It also involves Jared Fried. Well, anyway, that's a teaser. The episode today is about micro cheating and shady behavior on social media that your partner may do. And I just love this whole. concept of this micro cheating. This is kind of a newer term. Yeah, I love it. We found the article on Bustle, but there's articles in time now and like all kinds of other places we could just Google it. Cosmo has a good article about it as well. So we're here today. Yeah. Yeah, just men every day.

Just find a new way to be shitty. Oh, man. Also on the stupid live show front, remember, you can get your tickets to Denver, probably a few tickets left for the second show we had it, which is on July 15th, Phoenix the night before, July 14th, Salt Lake City, July 18th. And then, of course, Toronto is... As of right now, we've 80 tickets this morning, like, while we're recording. So I don't know, get on why you guys can. Yeah, there's a few left. Awesome show.

And then Montreal, just for last festival. It's an amazing festival. Tons of incredible comedians there. You can get passes for lots of shows there. We're obviously part of the lineup. So hopefully we'll see you guys there. I know. I can't wait.

And we just wanted to touch base on the shows. Last time we talked to you guys last week, we were preparing for our Portland show. Oh, my God, which was just, I'm going to cry. I almost cried on stage. It was my favorite. I don't know what happened at that show. It was incredible from start to finish. It was like Friday night, so people were excited.

The energy was really hype. They were lit. They were drinking, but they were like polite still. Shit just happened. Like someone wrote on Instagram, like we were both crying. She was like, I will forever be bonded in the people in that room because of we only, we know what happened. Like, it was this incredibly special thing where just everything we did hit with the audience that they were feeling us, we were feeling them.

Like, I was legitimately, like, after the show, like, they're my friends now. I miss you, Portland. Ashley wanted to go out with all of them after the show. If we didn't have to wake up and drive to Seattle the next morning and do a show, I was like ready to party with everybody. I felt like, I've never really felt like worth for you. I was so rude to party, dude. With you Portland, it was so awesome.

I just don't know what to expect because we go to some cities and I'm like, I don't know anybody from there and I'm not sure, like, what to expect from the crowd. Like, they were phenomenal. Oh, my God. And then we went to see. Seattle. Beautiful drive. I love the drive.

Thank you for driving. I was heads down editing the whole time. I had a great time. Ashley kept apologizing to me. I was having my own Latin music concert. Well, Ashley, Drew, I don't speak a word of Spanish. I know all the lyrics. It's so beautiful.

We went to Seattle. We performed at the Neptune Theater, which is a beautiful theater. And we opened with, drum roll, please. We opened with the Seattle store. That was like very, like, I don't give a fuck. You're like, the Seattle. Storm Dance Troop, which they are the dance team for the Seattle Storm, which is the WMBA team in

Seattle. And they are this dance troupe of children ranging from, I don't know, I think that little smallest kid was seven, the little Filipino kid, up to like teenager, like still in high school. You know, just waiting for someone to turn 18, if you know what I'm saying. Okay. No, I'm just kidding. They were super cute. You're not kidding. I agree. They crushed it. They did this medley. I talked to their coach, this woman named Shana, who was incredible. Like we need some Beyonce in here. So they open with Mienti. Yes, Mienti.

They open with a Mienti mix of Beyonce. Ended with who run the world. In the middle, they did some Jonas brothers. It was so lit. People were going bananas. They did freestyle. The little seven-year-old had his own like freestyle thing. We posted some videos and stuff.

I think I'm still going to post one more on my Instagram. But can't thank them enough. They're a great following Instagram and they are a nonprofit. And so we just like Seattle Storm Dance Troop. If we ever go back to Seattle, they will open our show. It was just, it was incredible. Thank you for finding them. I actually finds all the dancers.

I don't even ask any questions. I just show up and it happens. I'm never going to tell you how I find them because I don't want people copying my shit. I asked you the other day. I was like, how do you find the dancers? Don't tell me. I don't want to be involved in this at all.

Seattle was great. We love Seattle. We love a city. We love most of the people. But we do kind of want to address something that happened out of the show just because it was a situation, because we got so many DMs about it. So we can't not discuss it. Yeah.

And I mean, everybody that we ran into after the show said the same thing. So, I mean, we know that you guys come to our shows. It's not like a comedy club that you wander into. You come to see us and we're so, so excited to see you guys. We mean this in the nicest way and it has nothing to do with us. It only has to do with the audience. But the amount of like shouting out and wild drunk screaming in the middle of our

stories and bits was just a lot. Yeah. And it's, it was like at the end of the day, that was a theater of 700 people. It was probably like three people. You know what I mean? It's like I obviously co-sign what Rain is saying. Our show is not your typical. live podcast. It's kind of more low-key. We're not recording this for an episode, but it's also

not your typical comedy show either. It's super interactive. We get you guys at the beginning. Everyone's yelling, screaming. We love hearing from you guys. We do audience participation. It is different in that way where it's not like a normal comedy show. But it's frustrating. It's frustrating. It's frustrating for us when we are like in the middle of a story and the room is quiet and somebody just like screams out like, yes, queen, which is tough for us because it's nice. It's not like a traditional mean heckle, but it's like it's frustrating and it's extremely rude and disrespectful to the rest of the audience. Like, these people are paying to be there.

Can you imagine saying next to someone they're just yelling the entire time in the middle of a quiet room? Like, if that was a regular comedy show, you'd be kicked out immediately. You know, we just kind of let some of the stuff fly because our experience is more interactive. Yeah. And we love you guys. We want you guys to be drunk and have a blast and have fun with your friends.

It, like, like Ashley said, it's a positive thing that you guys are like yelling and excited. But we just wanted to address it because we got so many messages. Every girl we ran into in Seattle while we were walking out, which is four separate groups of girls brought it up. The amount of people that messed us and said, sorry, you had a bad time. We did not have a bad time. We had a great time. We loved it. Yeah. And I mean, they said that because I just kind of like snapped towards the end of the show. And I was like, can you just, can you just please shut the fuck up? You know, like, we're just trying to get through our story. Like, again, if you did that during a comedian set, you would be removed immediately. Like, it's just, if the room is quiet, everyone's listening, everyone's attentive. They're trying to hear what we have to say and you just scream out in the middle of it. Like, what are you doing? It's not acceptable behavior. And we, you know, are going to take it seriously from here. out. It just hasn't happened yet. This isn't a thing that you need to really discern what's acceptable and what's not. Everyone seems to get it besides three people in Seattle. You know what I mean? But what Raina was saying about the DMs, like the DMs that were apologizing. You guys didn't

deserve that. We're so sorry. This isn't representative of Seattle. We hope you still love Seattle. You guys, we were like crying. We were like, we're okay. The show was amazing. Everyone's still laughing. It ended on a beautiful note. It was great. The meet and great. We love all you guys. We couldn't have loved the city and the people more. But except for these few, I hate to say hecklers, but that is what it is. The venue apologized. Just, you know, get your shit together. But again, that was 29th, 30th show.

Hadn't been a problem yet. Every once in a while, this happens, we use it to our advantage. We'll make fun of you. We'll roast you a little bit. But when it's quiet time, when we're doing bits of doing jokes and doing stories of these shows

and everybody else in the crowd is paying attention. Like, please just don't scream out. And we just wanted to address this because it turned into an issue in terms of the volume of messages we received about. And I'm sure people from Seattle were wondering what we have to say and we want to prevent it in the future. Yeah, that's all. So thank you for coming to our shows. We love you guys. Get lit.

Have fun. Come. Come, laugh. Have fucking fun. We'll bring you up on stage. Like, we'll have a good time with you guys. But like, I'm not that good on stage. I'm just kidding. So you can't interrupt me in the middle of joke because like, you know, I need practice. Just let me be. Yeah. Also, we love Seattle. We'll be coming back. Okay. That's done. The PSA is done. Again, we can't, we love you guys so much. We can't wait to see you in all these cities. It didn't, didn't put a damper on us. but please just shut the fuck up when we're talking. I know you guys are wondering, we promise Detroit, Ohio, Pittsburgh.

We are going to announce stuff. We promise. I don't want to hate on my hometown. We're coming. It's coming. Whatever. We're coming. We're coming after this.

So, okay. What may or may not have to come in back to Atlanta too. What is, there's like banging going on in this apartment and not in a sexual way? It's definitely not me. Okay. You have a story to tell me. It's just like, it's really embarrassing. I'm, like, so ashamed of myself.

I've been being so good for so long. Have you? I, like, have you, though? I'm so embarrassed by myself. I've been doing so good for so long. And then, like, you and I got back from this trip, and I wanted, like, a Black Ops mission by myself. Just into the depths of humiliation.

But Tuesday, it's not even, like, that bad. It is that bad. I don't know the story, you guys. So I take night walks every night. The walk and stock. Yeah, my walk and stock. But I wasn't even going to do that. I took a walk.

I decided to go get a drink with Shoshi. We went out to dinner. I had like three drinks at dinner, which wasn't even that much for me at the time. What are you talking about? That's blackout for you. I had dinner with it though. I usually don't drink when I eat.

And then I was like, oh, we're by the comedy celebrity celebrity. We should just go. So I looked up who was there. Emma Wellman was there. So I was like, oh, I'll just go meet her. So I texted her. And I went there to see her set, which is great.

Jared Fried was there. Also great. And then like, I don't know what happened. Emma just kept getting me free drinks. And I had like eight drinks in the court. I went out for a walk at 6.30. I went home at 2 o'clock in the morning. Oh my God.

I just, like, kept drinking. And I just want to say, I have been so good about drunk texting for months. Like, I have not woken up and, like, ruined my life in so long. Like, every morning I wake up and I'm like, good for you. You haven't done anything terrible in so long. I woke up the next morning and looked at my phone. Oh, my God, I ran out.

It was like I had gotten back into town from being away and, like, I had like, it was like I was promoting a show. and sent out a media alert to everybody I've ever texted in my entire life. But like, the show was my vagina. I don't know. It was so humiliating. I texted everyone. Raina, what?

It was so bad. I haven't even like six drunk texts I had sent. Like six different dudes. Six different dudes. I called my mom. I had an 18 minute conversation with my mom. I don't remember. This has never happened in years.

Like, oh my, it's so humiliating. I was just like trying to fuck. I didn't fuck anybody. Like, you were, oh, you were like trying to. were you setting like picks? No, but I was just like, you know... Tell me something that you said. I sort of texted this comic.

I wish you were here. You know what I'm talking about. It's so embarrassing. Oh, sick. It was that dick pick you got it, really? Like, it spurred you. It was a different comic. I texted that guy too.

I just... It was really embarrassing. That's all I was to say. It was just like I sent out a media alert to like everybody that I've ever like... Press release. Yes. Like, hey, beep, beep, beep, like, open for business.

It was so humiliating. where I woke up to know. Knocked up me again. Yes. I, oh my God. I texted one of the guys that had a dream about you last night. No. No. No. That is like the lowest line. That is only one step up from I smelled your perfume. Okay. It is so embarrassing. I said I had a bad dream about you. What the fuck is a bad dream? Yeah. Like a bad. X-rated dream. Not like a naughty dream. He probably would have been like, that's great. A bad dream. It's like, 1.30 in the morning. He's like, why are you telling me this? It's not even like a appropriate time to try to fuck you. Like, go home. I had a nightmare about that. you last night. Nice. That's how I flirt at 1.30 in the morning after eight tequila. Oh my God.

It's so, it's so bad. Are you going to show me? I want to kill myself on Wednesday. Yeah, it was just really bad. So that's what I did. And I like couldn't even tell Ashley for days. I was so humiliated. It was in like a really deep dark place Wednesday. Like I was look at my phone. I have to see how far I walk. Like every day it's like four miles, six miles, eight miles. Wednesday was like 0.02 miles. It said 55 steps on Wednesday. Oh, you just didn't even leave. Yeah. I love that you looked to your phone. You were like. six miles and six drunk tests. It's so humiliating. I should just kill myself now.

It's so bad. So I will not be drinking or leaving the house again for at least a month. Okay. I wonder why you weren't drinking last night. Well, I had an interesting night that night. What'd you do? So this is the night we got back. You would have been back one night.

I got back on Tuesday night because I had to go to Delaware pick up Dewey. So I got back on Tuesday. It was so tired. But my best guy friend Rob, it was his birthday. And his fiancee, Allison, text to me. and she was like, hey, come over for Rob's birthday. You know, I did a cake, whatever. And our mutual friend, her really good friend,

who I become friends with too, who lives in Chicago, Taylor, she was like, Taylor's in town. And I was like, oh, and you know, Rob has parties. I was like, it's going to be a party. You know, like, rooftop. He's a great rooftop. Oh, yeah. It was like, it's going to be food and drinks.

It's going to be a party. I was so tired. That was the first time I got back after two plus weeks of being out. Do you think I wanted to go? I was still recovering. Yeah, this is my best friend. And so I was like, okay, I'll go. literally went from the rental car place to his apartment.

They're like, we're on the roof. I'm like, okay, perfect. I'm ready. Like, I'm thinking music. You ready to party? I was ready to party, dude. I was drove to that car. I was like, like, I've been out for like two weeks, but I was like, I'll still party.

I don't know what voice I'm doing right now. So I walk up, open like the door, the elevator door. I'm on the roof. It's just Robin Allison, just sitting there, both looking like models that they are. Like Allison always isn't some fashiony thing. She's just saying they're. her like beautiful sunglasses, just looking like a model. Rob looks all hot.

I was just like, hey guys. What's up? Where's the party? Where's the party? And I was like, they were like, hey. And I was like, where's Taylor? And they were like, Taylor couldn't make it. And I was like, is anybody?

Is John, where is that? Where is everybody? I was like, what you always want to hear on your birthday. And I just like sat down. I'm like, why am I here? Like, what is going on? And they're like, hey, do you want some champagne? They like, pour me some champagne.

And they're like, we ordered some sushi. It's on the way. And I was just like, am I being a proposition? for a threesome with you two. Cuckold Rob. What? And I was like, is this what Rob wanted for his birthday? Oh my God.

They picked one of your favorite foods and favorite drinks. They brought you to a rooftop and invited no one else. It's Rob's birthday. And then Rob, you know, he has all those gadgets. He had like kind of chill vibes music set up and he had a, the speaker has lights coming out of it. It was like dimly red light. The sun is setting.

Sunset. champagne, sushi, just me, Rob and Allison, they're all glammed up. I was like dying. Once I just, I had to make a joke about it. And then we all just started laughing. And then I'm like, you know what? I bet they were going to. And now I busted them. So they're like, three sums off, abort the mission, abort mission. But I was just like, was Taylor even ever supposed to come? And I saw them last night. And I was just like, can you imagine Rob like telling Allison? He's like, hey, Allison, you know, I just want to spice things up. You know, we're engaged now. It's my birthday. I just really want a threesome.

And Allison's like, fuck, I guess I'll call Ashley. Like, she just doesn't know. Did you acknowledge this last night? She doesn't know. Yes. We've been joking about it. But it was just so funny. Because they are like.

She's like, ha, ha. Yeah, it was a joke. Got you. She's like, pinches me under the table. Yeah. I just thought that was that you would think that was so funny. And they are. They're such a beautiful couple that like you walk up there to stay and they're like,

hey, what's up? This sun is setting. Here's your champagne. What? Sushi's on the way? What are we doing? I would fuck them just for that. there's so few people that can reach them.

They were like, oh, she's the right height. But can you imagine if that was the case? And Rob's like, hey, Alison, I want a threesome for my birthday. Can you coordinate this? And it's me. He's like, Ashley. Thanks. Thanks.

She's my best friend. This is very weird. He gives her birthday present back. Ashley, please leave. Yeah, anyway, that was my night. Almost had a threesome. Just kidding. Can you imagine?

That'd be so awkward. Oh, it's like, life is so great. outside of New York, we come back, you fuck your best friend. And I take a match to my entire life. Can you imagine my speech at their wedding? I remember this one night in June, Rob's birthday. When I fucked Rob. And Allison.

And watching them together in this threesome, block eyes, that's when I knew that they belonged together when his dick was inside of my mouth, the way he looked at Allison. All right. Friends, loved ones. I cuckolded Rob last week. Well, speaking of dicks and mouths, I guess we need to talk about 69. Oh, like how we feel about it? I will say this. I love talking about 69 in like a joking, like childish way. Perfect room

temp, 69. The second I walk in a hotel room, it's on 69. I embrace my zodiac symbol, which is a 69. It's the crab clause that make a 69. I'm just like, I love if I can leave a tip and make a total balance at a restaurant 69 69. I'll take a picture of it. But like I, this is one of my jokes. You love a 69. But I feel like a 69 appropriator because I don't do it. You just think of that. Do you write this like episode two and you've been waiting to say that? No, I am appropriating 69 culture. Like, I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to joke about it because I'm not out here doing it. You are so right.

I would love to pull the audience though. Like how many people are exactly like you? I'm just like you. You crack the code. This is a great joke. Do you think there's 69ers out there? They're like, you can't even talk. Why are you talking about 69?

You don't even do it. Right. Like every time I walk by like 69th street, I like, I'm like, oh, that's funny. I take a photo, I sent it to everybody, put my Instagram story. Like, ha ha, I haven't had 69s ever. Like, you haven't ever, okay. Maybe, no, I mean, maybe not never. Like, maybe when I was like 18 and I let somebody convince me, it was like smart or cool.

But like, I'm not out here, like, while somebody's going down on me, I'm like, you know what? Let me make this less enjoyable for me. I don't even get manis and petties at the same time. Let me enjoy both separately. Like, when they're like, you want the manny too. I'm like, no, I want to be on my phone and you rub my feet. want to be able to be in the moment. I don't want you doing my nails. I love that you said 18 because I thought about this too. I legitimately, well, okay, maybe one drunken night. I think this guy hooked up

with this was a few years ago. He was like younger. He's in law school. Of course, he was this young guy. I think we maybe did it for a second. We were wasted. I woke, this was one of those nights. I like fell, woke up with bruises, like, you know, not like whatever. You know what I mean? I think maybe we'd wake up with the DUI, you know? Right. I've been there before. Nothing like a good. 69 into DUI. So maybe over the course of when I used to get so drunk, maybe. But like as far as a boyfriend and actual like we're doing this was literally my boyfriend when I was 18. And I think you do those things because you think you're supposed to or something.

And I remember vividly the first time I 69 at age 18 being like, what the fuck is this? It's not a good angle for a dick to go in your mouth. What am I, why am I doing this? Basically like I'm stuck in your dick and your nose is in my butthole. My butt hole. Exactly. I didn't know we were doing butt holes. stuff like I didn't prep for butthole stuff also when I'm sucking a dick like I'm I'm at work okay

I'm not taking a break to have an orgasm at work I'm just I'm at my job I'm doing a job right that's what I want to do I don't want to like try to also balance like can I have an orgasm is my butthole on your nostril like I don't want to do it all right I appropriated 69 sorry sorry to all the real 69ers out there. We've been appropriating your culture and I apologize. The 12 of you left that are definitely not older than 19. We're going to get DMs. They're like, I'm 23 and I still 69. You're one of the 16 of them. I don't know what to tell you. But again, if you're into it, do it. Do whatever you want at any time sexually with your partner consensually.

Of course, I just don't personally find enjoyable and I really don't know many people to do. No, no, no, no, no. I don't know anybody that enjoys this. Whatever. Live your truth, but 69 is not our truth. But anyway, that's how I feel. Happy 69. Happy 69. I just want to say, I said in one of the shows, all I do is crying out.

You know, you guys tell us all the time that we changed your life, but you changed my life. And I'm just so grateful for you. Also, if I could just, you know, since while we're talking about

really dirty sex stuff, I always want to plug my dad. He is the class of 69. Of course he is. Of course. Ashley's like, he just had his 50-year reunion. Class of 69.

I can't wait for his 69 through you. Wait, hold on. He turns 68 this summer. Next summer. We're thrown again. Lee Heseltine 69th. I'm going to pop out of a cake. This is my brand new tetties. You and my brother are getting tattoos together. You're going to like pop out on my dad's birthday cake. Like you are a part of the family. I'm not. Sorry, I have new family now. I've appropriated Ash's family. Oh my God. July 7th, 2020. Lee Heseltine 69th. I can't. I know you guys had birthdays. They're that close together. 7779. I can't wait.

Matt is 719. We're all within... I hope you guys all felt the same way about the sex story episode that I did, which was that Ashley talked about her dad a lot. Twice. Three times. There was a third time. I edited it.

It was twice. You edited it. Oh, you're right. No, I meant I heard it. Okay, you're right. I edited one out. Let's be honest. One is too many, but three was really a lot for me.

Oh, my God. I have an update on your dad's 69? Shit. This girl... I told her to email the story, but since it came up, do you remember the girl that her parents found her sex toys? Her dad found her sex toys. That's why I brought it my dad in the first place.

If you guys listened to the episode, her dad found her sex toys twice, once when she was in college and once when she was married. I told her to email us this whole story, but whatever. She found their sex tape when she was a kid. What? Yes. I'm sorry, that is the most horrifying thing I could ever imagine.

What did the tape say that you actually put it in? She wrote me a casual DM that was like, Hey girl, thanks so much for talking about my story. I guess it was payback for when I found all my parents' sex toys and sex tape when I was a kid. That is, I have so many questions. How old were you? Where were your parents? Why did they leave this out for you?

What was it labeled? Like, are they out here labeling it fraggle rock and you just like found it? Or like, did it say like mommy and daddy's sex tape? And you were like, this sounds like after school watching. Okay. Anyway, so we'll get the full. That is crazy. Now we teased it.

We'll get the full story. This will be like a three-part series. This girl and her parents are. Her and her parents' crazy sex findings. Okay. All right. Let's get, should we get into the topic? I just had to tell you that.

She said it so casually. Payback from what I'm paying on my parents' sex tape. It's so crazy. I would never recover. Yeah. I really have to say, like, I'm going to put myself out there as somebody who has never once. There's never been an indication in my home that any of my parents have had sex with anybody other than my brother and I, that they didn't have sex with my daughter and I.

I mean, other than fact that we're alive, I have never, my mom and my stepdad, I'm not even sure if they've ever held hands. before. But like, yeah, I'm very fortunate. Never saw it, never heard it. Yeah. Like, I don't know how you come back from it. I don't either. I've never, and I know my parents have a healthy sex life because every once in a while, because my mom and I are like, you know, friends. We talk about sex. She'll start to, I'm like, mom, you cannot talk about dad. You can talk about the guys before dad. This is very weird. But I know they have a healthy sex life, but never caught them. Thank God. I mean, there was definitely times I remember the door was locked.

Also, thank God for that when I just would have walked in. Mommy, Daddy. I don't know how you ever come back from that. Okay, you know what would you rather like haunts me forever to this day is what would you rather watch your parents have sex every single day or join in once and let me stop? Like, I don't know. Nope, can't answer it. Ew. I think I'd join in. That's better than watching it every day forever. I think I'm going voluntarily blind. She's going stab yourself in. I'm taking out my eyeballs. Oh, so gross. I could. I join it in. I mean, that was trauma. PTSD forever.

Okay, anyway. Well, we're doing an episode about micro cheating today. I am really excited about this. Our friend Alana brought this up to us. And I think it's just such a cool topic. And like we mentioned, lots of different articles about this. I know that cheating can be defined as a million different things and everybody has a different definition of it.

So I pulled the definition from one of the articles just to like start off. Okay. So this article defined it. Microcheting is when you do things that might not be considered outright infinitive. but nonetheless breaches the trust that could lead to genuine cheating in the future. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah. So, I mean, you guys wrote in a lot about, like, you know, microcheating and what you want to talk

about. And I think that everybody has a different definition of what cheating is. We're not talking about when somebody is, like, outright deceitful and, like, you know, meeting up with their ex behind your back, stuff like that. Yeah. This is stuff that's like, could be considered, I mean, I would consider it microcheting. So anyways, we'll get into it. And like, just a red flag for the future.

Yeah. And I mean, again, the relationships are so fluid, a lot more open relationships these days, a lot more people that just have different setups, which is fine. You know, like, some of these people, this episode might not relate with some people. They'd be like, oh, you're being dramatic. Like, fine, that's fine. You live your truth, of course. But for people that want this committed relationship and they don't want somebody doing

these things that we're going to talk about and communicating with people in a certain way, like this is episodes for them, you know? And everybody has a different bar and threshold for what cheating is. Like, we talked about this, I think, one of the first episodes. Like, for me, like strip clubs I think are a hot button issue with some people like I could never care less and somebody went but like other people absolutely not under any circumstance. Would you let your boyfriend do that? So like you said, yeah, live your life. Whatever

bothers you bothers you. Right. And there's just a lot of like, I don't know. I think it always also boils down to women's intuition because I think there's some guys that are like naturally flirtatious like Rob for example. Like I mean he writes every single time we post something on Instagram. He's like model a million flame emojis. He smacks us on the ass. But he is the most trustworthy. His phone's out all the time. Allison has his passwords. Like, like, She knows where he is at all times. They share their location. He doesn't care because he's not doing anything behind her back.

And so microcheting is like a symptom of like other things, you know, but it's like if you think if a guy does some of these things, but he's like is that kind of guy like Rob and it's probably not a red flag. You know what I mean? Like I don't know. Maybe I'm not explaining it correctly. But you know, there's just different types of guys. And I think when your intuition fires up, it's right.

I think it all boils down to intent. And like you know, you know your man. Like you know exactly how you feel when you're not around. your man. And like, I've talked about this long-distance relationship I had for a long time. And, like, you went out to dinner with girls all the time. He had tons of friends that were girls, never bothered me for one second. And he lived across the country. Other people could live down the street from me. I wouldn't have trusted them at all. Right. So, I mean, you know, you know who you're dating. You might not be honest with yourself about who you're dating,

but, like, you know. And Rob is the perfect example. Because, like, that wouldn't bother Allison. She wouldn't care. Right. Yeah, exactly. I want to talk about social media. Because, like, this is like a new thing that like guys get to do all the shady behavior. When you ask them about it, they're like, you're so crazy. And it's like, am I? I, that's, thank you for reminding me. That is exactly where I wanted to start this off because I had a guy that I dated seriously. And every single time I saw something in social media, I was right.

Like he, every single time I saw him like flirting with some girl or whatever, there was something going on. One time I was like, saw him commenting on this girl's picture. And he literally the lie that he was able to come up with immediately was scary. I'm like, you're a liar. This was also when we were, we were broken up, but he was like trying to get me back. So it's like, okay, well, clean your shit up then. You know, I don't even know if I want him back together.

You're the one trying to get me back. And I see him like commenting like flirty, hard-eye stuff all over this girl's Instagram, a girl that was not his friend, a girl, I didn't know who she was. And I'm like, hey, what is this? You know, here you are in one hand saying you love me, you want to be back with me. And what is going on over here? And he was like, immediately. He did not skip the beat.

And he was like, that's my friend's girlfriend. it's like a joke that we have and I was like, you're lying. A joke. And he was like, your joke makes people look like an asshole. But that was a lie. Of course it was a lie. That's my friend's girlfriend.

It's just we're joking around and I was like, which friend? I know all your fucking friends. Finally the next day I was like, okay, well, I'll just be sitting here waiting for you to tell me the truth. I admit you're lying. And of course he was lying. And then you went to back down and he was like, I just feel like things have been going so good with us.

I didn't want to get in trouble. I'm like honesty is always the best policy. But with that specific guy, I will say, every time I saw something, it was actually something that was happening. And that guy was somebody that would be like, it's just social media. It's just social media. I'm like, bitch, we met on social media.

Like social media. If there wasn't for social media, we wouldn't have ever dated. So don't diminish social media. Social media is an extension of someone's life. Like the sole reason we are together is because we connected on Facebook. You know what I mean? So that's, I hate when people try to gaslight women and they're like, it's just social media. Why are you being so crazy?

It's like social media is your life in public. It's your like check your phone and see what apps you spend the most percentage of your time on. It's what everybody. It's Instagram. It's Facebook. It's Snapchat. It's 2019. Let's stop like shaming people like, oh, it's just social media.

It is a big deal. It's a huge deal. And you're using this thing that you know you can shame me about to act disrespectful to me. Yeah. Don't do it. Do not ever put up with that. Do not ever put up with you seeing something shady on social media and letting a guy be like, why are you acting? What are you talking about?

You're doing it. It's your interacting. It's a form of communication. I have girlfriends of mine. I couldn't agree with you more. I have girlfriends of mine, even into their mid-30s, that have said to me, I saw this thing on social media that he did,

and now I'm so embarrassed to look crazy. Do I say something about it? Yes. Say something about it. I hate this thing that, like, women are so scared to just, like, say something because they think they're going to look crazy. Like, nobody should make you feel like this.

And if you're feeling bad and you found something, if your man is out here leaving heart emojis on somebody's Instagram, you're not crazy for seeing that. They're crazy for doing that to you. It's embarrassing. And, well, okay, I want to get into this. We're all fired up. This is the first topic I think is the most prevalent.

And we want to talk about it's just the liking and the commenting of, and you guys know there's tons of different relationships. Everybody with whatever gender sex they are, man, man, woman, man, woman, woman, whatever, LGBT. But I mean, this is when you explained to me one wedding. I can't. It's just, we try so hard to kind of to be inclusive, but it's like, we can only speak from being, you know, from being straight women. Right. And so the examples we use are probably

going to skew more like, your man is doing this, but of course, this can apply to anybody, you know, but just for the sake of like conversation. So yeah, your man. Right. Or your fuckboy girlfriend. Whatever. Or your girlfriend. Whatever. Anybody can be a fuck boy. Um, your partner is commenting, liking, flirty. You know, you know what we mean. Yeah. On someone else's Instagram. Right. For example. Um, and I think that there's a hard line. We talked about the a lot. Like, if your man is liking Jen Seltter's ass photos, I'm saying her last name, right?

Jen Seltter, yeah. I wasn't trying with a Z in there, like, Seltzer. I like Jen Seltzer. Let's go with that. I think it's sort of weird behavior if he's liking her stuff, but like that to me is not a threat. Like, if your man is liking and, like, interacting with some girl with, like, 200 Instagram followers that you don't know. Look out

for that bitch. You found it. The whole, do they know this person? Do they not? I will say this. I have multiple guys that have girlfriends and or aren't trying to date me that will leave me like a line of flame emojis because they're my friends and I know their girlfriends. I've met their girlfriends and we are friends. Also in our position in life, people can gain something from us. So we have guys, I think, that act give us attention and act a little flirty because maybe they want to come on the podcast. Maybe they want us

to promote their whatever. You know what I mean? Like they kind of have something to gain by like building us up and telling us we look pretty and things like this. At the end of the day, there are people that I know. and they're people that I know their partners and they're my guy friends. I do have guy friends that are a little flirty with me that I may not like if it was my man, but regardless, I'm not a stranger. Their girlfriend knows who I am. Maybe she doesn't love it. She doesn't love that her boyfriend leaves me a bunch of flame emojis, but it's fine because I'm not this rando.

That's the difference. Like there's guys that are just kind of flurtier with their girlfriends and I think it's fine, you know? And like my friend Travis just got engaged and he'll do that on my pictures. I know his fiance. you know, Bobby, second impression Bobby, like he'll be flirting with us. You know, it's just not, it's so different. But when there's this random girl out of nowhere, that is so suspect and so bad. I think that is a guy that's like in his intent is to like flirt with this stranger. Right.

Your man goes to L.A. for a vacation for five days, comes back and starts liking some girls' photos. Oh my God. And you see that? You're not crazy for seeing that. And don't let anybody like paint you into a corner like you are. Okay, I'm crazy. But you. did it. Why are you doing this? It's so, it really just boils down to you respecting me. And like, again, some people, everybody's threshold for cheating, microcheating is different. Like, maybe you think it's healthy for your man to like meet girls and flirt with them. And, but like, yeah, if my man wanted a trip, all of a sudden was interacting with some girl, I want her she is. And I have a right to know that. We have a good friend of our, friend of our.

I mean, you're friends with her two, but a good friend of mine. That's how she found out her long term boyfriend was cheating. Was he went on some bachelor party and she came back and she's like, who's this handle I've never seen before. You're never wrong. Like you see him. What's, what's this Venmo transaction? That's all I. Yeah. Definitely stop on. People, people, I feel like back in the, back in the day when Venmo was newer, like, you would be catching people all the time. But now people are like more private with their transactions. But yeah, all this stuff. And it's, to me, I'm like, you're flirting with somebody in public in front of my face. Like, it's just, it's embarrassing. And I will say, too, if a girl, let's say your boyfriend does leave like flame emojis, hard eyes,

on like his friend, like I'm his friend and he does that. And you don't like it. I'll tell you what, you have your guy friend leave it on your picture and see how he feels. And if he's just like, oh, that's cool, then cool, because there is no intent behind what he's doing. But that's a good test. Like, if you're like, I don't like, you're like, hey, Tom, I know you're friends with Ashley, but I just don't really like that you, like are always flirting with her. Like, that's how you feel. You're like, I don't like it. Have your best guy friend leave you something under it and just see how he feels. Like serve it right back to him because then he'll get it because the guys, but guys are so quick to be like, this is a girl thing, girls that crazy.

Shut up. How would you feel, dude? I think that's a perfect litmus test for pretty much all behavior. I mean, somebody wrote us an email last week about the way her man was behaving, and I was like, ask him how he would feel if you did this to him. And I just think that like in every relationship, there's a set of rules, right? There's a set of rules to dating me. They're different than the set of rules to dating you.

There's a different set of rules for every female. You can either abide by those rules and date me or you don't have to, no hard feelings, but you can't date me. And my set of rules are different than yours. You can, you can, love this. You can go to a strip club if you're dating me. Have fun. You can go out to dinner with other girls.

I genuinely don't care. Party with your coworkers. Do little flirting stuff on G-chat at work. You can't be out here like meeting girls on vacation and communicating with them after. No. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah.

That's my set of rules. And if you don't want to abide by them, then don't date me. But like, this is like any other job with a rule book. You know, follow the rules or you don't work here. You don't work here anymore. Bitch. Bitch. Okay.

It's such a throw. back. It's so good. You don't live here anymore, bitch. All right. If you guys haven't listened to the early episodes, please go back and find this. Where was that? Oh, God. I think that was the first cheating episode that we did. Like four episodes in. Yeah. Early on. I was talking about, I was talking about my ex leaving me. And he was like, what do you stop breaking all my things? And I was like, you don't live here anymore, bitch. You don't work here anymore, bitch. So we were talking about guys and social media. And we've talked to us before a lot of guys. Do they don't know what they're doing on social media. We talked to Chris DeStefano. He was like, I don't know what I like. You know,

I see a good looking ass, I might like it. Like, again, whatever. It's annoying. It's like annoying. If you're scrolling, you see that your boyfriend is like a bunch of ass models, whatever. But yeah, I mean, if it's a random girl, they know what they're doing. Right. And where did she come from?

And what is this like your backup in case this doesn't work out with us? I think it's foreshadowing for the rest of the relationship. You're in a new relationship with somebody you're supposed to be committed. Maybe you're talking about marriage and a future together. What do you think your future is going to look like they're doing this shit now? Right. And I think that if you, I couldn't agree more. And yeah, so early on when we're still fucking

and things are still like relatively nice, they need this much attention. I know that guys are gross. I know that they need attention from other people besides their girlfriend. That's just like classic male behavior. I get it. But like I don't like it. And like I just,

I know that it's not 100% of the time, but I genuinely feel like where there's smoke, there's fire. And I've never really seen somebody like come out in a photo where like if you go into their DMs, I guarantee you there's comments between them. There's messages. And maybe they feel. sort of innocuous, but like, I don't know, I've never seen one thing and had it not lead to the next thing and then the next thing, you know?

Like the kids are always there. And like all of my girlfriends, these are New York City smart, successful, beautiful girls. I have all of them said to me. I found this thing. I don't know how to tell them. I'm so embarrassed. I like went through this day. Fucking tell them. Yeah. Let's, I want to talk about that. We got to, we asked you guys for ideas when you said Snapchat. I mean, it's all kind of the same. Snapchat, I think we're not really on it a lot, but I guess you used to be, some people keep their friend profiles private, but I think a lot of people were like, he has like a best friend that's this random girl. Yeah, that means he's snapping with her all the time. Who is she? What are they sending? Like I think a lot of, I think a lot of this, the guys that are really shady that are really just trying to keep a bunch of girls in rotation and lie and cheat and all

these things. A lot is going on in DMs on Instagram and in Snapchat for sure. And yeah, like you should respect people's privacy. We're not telling you to Snoop. Like, but I think, you know, these things come out sooner or later and how do you approach them? Yeah, I just, I don't know. We talk about intent a lot, or intuition a lot. I'm sorry. And like, I don't know, like, my ex and D.C. had this girlfriend who was, like, his best friend.

She's really pretty and successful. And, like, they would hang out all the time together. And I didn't know her, really. It got under my skin a little bit. But, like, I trusted him. And I sort of just understood, like, if they were going to date, they would be dating. Yeah. And so I just made the choice to trust.

him. And I didn't really have the intuition that something was going wrong. But other people I've had the intuition that maybe something was going on with their coworker and I've gone through their phones. I'm not proud of it, but I wasn't wrong. I know. One thing I feel like I've learned and talked to different guests in this podcast is kind of like, you can't be controlling and tell a man what he can and can't do. Like the better way to be. It's just kind of like if someone wants to be with you, someone is going to want to be with you and you can't control their behaviors. That being said, a guy that's doing the shady stuff, I don't know if that's a guy you want to be with, you know. So that's my ultimate takeaway from it is like, is this the guy you want to be with?

Like, it's not good. I don't want it. I don't want any part of it. I don't either. I like, I don't know. Maybe I've like aged out of it or maybe I'm just like tired. Maybe I'm just tired of this kind of stuff happening. So I'm just the first whiff I get of this shit. I'm gone. I know. And I, guy, it's different when you're when you're younger, like you always say the stakes are lower. You know, I think a lot of this stuff is happening more in your 20s. And it's, I guess like, I don't think it's ever acceptable, but I'm like, you know, these guys are just younger. They're more immature. They're not thinking about marriage. You know, they're, they are dicking around a little bit more. Yeah. But if it's, if it bothers you, you should always, if you see

something, say something. But what do you, how do you feel about the approach? I guess I would have a different reaction and like my level of anger would be different depending on the different person. It's a one size fits one. But like, if this is somebody you already don't trust and like, you're already feeling like maybe they're like one foot out and you're like, I can't put my finger on it, but I don't feel great in this relationship. Right. And like you see that. Like, yeah, maybe I would be sober and in a quiet place, but I'd bring it up. Like, I'm not, I'm not going to be so scared to look crazy that I'm not going to bring it up because I still found it. And if they call you crazy, then like, I don't know, that's not a nice person telling you that

you're crazy. And like, that to me is just classic gaslighting. And again, I said it before and I'll say it a million times. It's 2019. Let's stop acting like these things aren't important and they don't matter. We spend our entire life on these platforms. Right. They matter. I know. I think obviously, as always, don't do anything when you're angry. It takes some time, think about it, call a girlfriend, call your mom, whatever, and like develop the approach because that's like the worst thing is just to hit somebody with a super emotional approach. And I think it's like, hey, like, what's going on here? Like, I just got to tell you, like, I thought we were in a good committed relationship. I'm not really actively flirting and commenting and doing these things

with other guys on Instagram, and I don't think that you would like it if I was. And, you know, what if a guy was commenting and liking all my stuff? Like, would that bother you? And I don't love this. And I feel a little bit embarrassed about it. And it also makes me wonder, what is your intent with doing this stuff with these girls that I don't know who they are and see what he says? I'm so impressed by this. I mean, I don't know if I could do it. I can do all the advice. Like, I'm, I mean, in the past, I've reacted way too quickly. I'm trying to get you guys to learn from my mistakes. You know, like, also my ex made me crazy. But, you know, when I would see stuff on social media, I would like fly off the handle. I wish I could have handled it better

because I would have had a better result, you know. Oh, I think you have to think about what you want the result to be. And I think that two things you said are like are really great. I think that like just putting it on them and saying, how would you feel in their reverse? Yeah. And that's just allowing them to answer a question. Because if they say like, you know, I thought about it and I don't care, you know, then okay, then that's where they stand. But I think also putting it on yourself and saying like the result of this is that I feel embarrassed. Yeah. Not, I'm not mad at you. You're not terrible. I mean, I am mad at you and you are kind of terrible. But, you know, the result of this is

it makes me look bad and it's embarrassing to me. And, like, I've had conversations like that with guys that I trusted where I've had to say like, hey, I don't love this behavior, not because I don't trust you, because it doesn't make me look great. And, like, you're putting this out into the world that, like, you don't care that much about me. And, like, guys are, some of them are just

dumb and they don't realize that it's going to embarrass you. You know, like, 900 flame emojis on some girl's shit. Like, some guys are just like, I don't know. I just thought, like, that's visual creatures and they're like, that's some girl from work. But I mean, you can also ask them, like, who is Katie Rose 74? You know what I mean? Like, who feels personal? No, I really just made that up. I was like, I don't want to say, I was thinking of actually foot job girls,

Katie, her, I don't know, her Instagram handle popped in my head. Because she messaged us, the foot job, the job guy would never do anything wrong. You're right. She foot job guy would never. No, she's always DMing us. I love. She's such a cutie. Yeah, whatever. It's not, again, like girls just, if you approach anything in a calm, rational manner, and you put it back on yourself and you're saying this is the way that your actions are making me feel, a guy calls you crazy, get out of that relationship. If you do not want that guy. I think that's the best takeaway.

You know, try to approach it calmly, put it on yourself, ask them how they would feel. Fuck them otherwise. Yeah. But I just, ultimately, we just want to validate you girls for, this is a real thing. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I remember another time when my ex and I were like, it was a mess. we were like, you know, we were on a break, but like not broken up. We weren't supposed to be

hooking up with other people. It was very like, we're trying to work our shit out, get back together. You know, we were always off and on. And like, friends sent me this, these pictures of him and this girl, like all these pictures, like group pictures, but they were always snuggled up together. And it was like, this girl was just everywhere for like a couple weeks. And it made me so sick to my stomach. I was mortified for one. Because like, nobody really knew that we broke up. And now he's with this girl all over the place. I saw the Venmo transaction. I saw all this stuff with specific girl. And I think that he will, to the day he die, say he never hooked up with that girl. I know he did. I know it. I can feel it. I am 100% would put money on it. I know it.

All the signs were there. I know we did. I don't even know, I don't even know this guy and I think they were right. But it was just, it was just, it sucked for me because my friends were like, what is going on? Are you okay with this? A guy friend. A guy friend who was not dramatic at all. I was like, have you, I hate to be the person to show you this. But if you, I don't like, what the, like, I remember my heart sank. And I was like, there's something going on. Was this reason why we broke up, you know, like, never been wrong. Never. I've never been wrong. Get out of here. Say one sentence to man home, right? Yeah. All right. What else? What other shady behavior? Okay. It's the other shady behavior I want to talk about. And I noticed this and I think I'm right. It's never

happened to me, but I think I'm right. It's the way the guys will and will not put you on their social media, like main feed and their stories. Their stories, yes. And again, we cannot give them too much credit. They don't know. They're stupid. They're simple-minded. They don't know what they're doing. Not always though. I know guys that are like total manipulative freak sociopaths that know everything they're doing. They just run the gamut. Because there are some guys that are like, are like, what are you talking about? I didn't even realize I was doing that. I saw a guy recently that we felt, we both know him. We felt like his stories on his trip with this girl were very much like kind of leaving her out. Like she just wasn't any of the stories. It felt like he would like pan the room and just leave her out of it. But then he panned all the way around to the chair she was sitting on. You could see her clothes on the chair and stopped before. before it got to her. Wait, we're talking about two different people. Oh, oh. I'm talking about the other guy, but we felt like he was kind of leaving her out. We're like, this is a little weird, but then he did like a whole recap and she was everywhere. You know, like. Of that guy. Yes. He's clearly,

she's all over social media. He's proud of her, whatever. He just doesn't know. Whatever. But the other guy, yes. That was crazy. This was crazy. A whole wedding weekend. You know how we found out that she was there with him? It was because I saw that they had tagged the same like tiny little resort in the middle of nowhere. on their Instagram photos. And I was like, oh, they were together. He had such a long story. We're not going to get into it. We, he could not have tried harder to not have her in his stories. Yes, this picture, he's panning the patio where they're laying out. I like zoom in. I see a cover-up. I'm like, that's that girl's cover up. We were like a totally investigative. This is people that were very invested in. And she was there. You never would have known. And then something has since happened. We don't know.

But like, we can tell that he fucked her over by her recent post. They were at a wedding. Like in a very like tropical destination. With tons of people. Million other people in his photos. Yes. And he could not have like kept her out of it more. It was crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. If your man's doing that, he's doing something shady. Yeah. I have a couple exceptions. We talked about this before. Okay. First of all,

there's guys that aren't active on social media. They aren't good at social media. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. You know what I mean? This guy's not one. Yeah. So it's guys that we're talking about guys that are active on social media.

The rest of their life is on social media and you're not. The other. I can see is if a guy was like kind of really public with his last relationship and he got burned. So he's just a little more private because he doesn't want the same thing to happen again. I'm glad you said that. Yeah. But I will still say at the end of the day, stories disappear in 24 hours. Like I remember being like that with a guy that I dated seriously. He was in my, it's just Snapchat days. He was in my snaps chats and things like that way before I put a post up. Because I was like, once this goes up, it's public, everybody's going to be asking me about it.

People are going to be keeping tabs in our relationship. I do understand that. I still feel like you know when someone's purposely keeping you out of their social media presence. It just feels purposeful. You know, like, I think that that's like everything boils down to a tent. And like, if somebody has panned around a patio and stopped where you are, like, you know that that. I'm going to tell you how. It's so good. But yes, I think that there's a buffet of reasons why anybody does what they fucking do.

like I like that you said it depends on the last relationship because like my other very serious ex used to like really advertise me on his social media and like write all this like super sappy ridiculous shit about me. And then his next relationship, I just, she was in photos. He just never, the captains weren't like that. You know what he was like a very different behavior. And like, I know that he just felt like, you know, he didn't want to do that again with somebody, you know? I know. I never know quite how to decipher it because I've had the same experience as well where it was like this person that I dated, it was like so I love you, I adore you. And the person that he's with now, it's just not that. She feels like an afterthought. I dealt with it more than once. We have a

friend, same thing, where she was kind of thrown shade to an ex of hers because he never puts his girlfriend on his social media, but he put her on his social media, you know. But I also, we know, we know men and we know that like they get burned once and it like affects the rest of their life and their behavior. But I just think like ultimately, if some guy is super active on social media and you're totally absent. Like, you ought to wonder why, because you want a guy to be proud of you. So ultimately, the question to ask is, is he trying to look single? Guys, we can talk about how unaware and dumb they are in social media, but they know exactly how to make themselves appear to be single. I love that you said that. I think about that a lot. Like, when I look at guys

social media, like, I'll meet a guy. And I immediately, the first thing I do is check their Instagram. And I'm scrolling through. And there's definitely been situations I've been in where like, I've scrolled a guy's Instagram and found out after the fact. that they were dating somebody. But the social media said single. I know. Thank you. And like I deep dove into that shit.

Okay. And I think that it's such a good point. Like is this person making it appear to the rest of the world that you don't exist? Yep. Because guys are experts at that. They may be dumb and everything else in social media. But if they want to look single so other women can hit on them, they can try to fuck other girls, whatever.

That's, I think, what you have to ask yourself. And I feel like a lot of people even said that when we were crowdsourcing questions of like, is he trying to look single? And I feel like that's the overall overarching thing of like, is he making a real attempt to appear that there's no girl and like so he could just do whatever. Absolutely. Yeah. Again, it's a symptom of other stuff that's going on. If you are dating a guy and he is introducing you to all his friends and family, you are clearly a part of his life.

He feels he's proud of you. He's wonderful. He supports you. He thinks you're beautiful. And all his friends know you're together. All his family knows you together. All this stuff. And for some reason, he's just not putting you on a social media.

I don't know if I'd be that suspicious or wary of it. But it's when it's like you already feel like he's kind of hiding you in the first place. And you're like, am I crazy? And it's like, yeah, when he pans the whole room and cuts it off right before you. Or I don't know, we joke about this one guy recently that was being shady. He was dating a friend of ours and dating another girl too. And essentially he just like picked this other girl. He was being shadier to her for one.

Now he's with this other girl. But somewhere along the lines of him committing to this girl fully, he dated our friend. It was it was fucked up. And we were looking at his social media. and he finally posted a picture of this girl after however many months they've been doing this thing and she's the last picture in a carousel.

Like there's like 10 vacation picks and she's at the end. Because last picture in a carousel, look out for that shit. I'm telling you, I don't think, I think there's something to it. Because I think they want you

to not see her when you first go to their page. Like 10 pictures, she's the last one. Right. And you're like, they know that you're going to say, I can't believe that you did this and they're going to say,

what's wrong with you? Oh, I know. I see it. That is not something that I'm not sure I would say out. That does sound a little crazy. But I would just tuck it away. You're right, though.

There are like tuck away things. Yeah. Okay. I might tuck that away. Because I also do think sometimes guys and women, anybody. I personally, for a lot of reasons, if I date somebody seriously with this job that we have, with my experience, with my past relationships, I will be a lot more private. I could see a situation where I'm the person.

that this guy is like, why am I not on your social media? And I'm like, I don't know that I want to do that yet. Then everybody's going to know. And we have a friend too that he is super public. He works for a huge media company. And he chooses to keep his girlfriend off his social media because he just knows everyone will start stalking her. You know, like he works for a website that's like very guy focused. Like he doesn't want all these guys like just dig it into her life. It's for her privacy. But I just think there's a multitude of reasons. But if you're, if it's just a regular guy, you're just a regular girl, you're not in the spotlight, all these things. And it's somebody that's active on social media and you're not part of it.

I think you just got to wonder why. Yeah. And I think a lot of these microcheting things, I like that you said where you just like file it away. Like a lot of these things, maybe you don't have a fight with the person the first time. You know, like, I think the people that feel like pretty solid in their relationship, you see your man liking some girls' photos.

Like maybe you don't have a fight about it. You know, maybe you just file it away. There's things I'll just file away. But like, once I've filed three things away, like, well, that's a pattern and I want to discuss it. Right. You know, one, two things, all right, let's, a lot people live their lives or maybe floating

with somebody from work, all right, I don't know, I'll keep tabs on it. It's noted. Yeah. You know, but there's lots of things that people do where I just, I note it, you know? And that's what I think, like, it's, it's hard to name it. That's why it's microcheting. It's not necessarily an outright emotional affair. It's not necessarily, like, texting with your ex behind your back.

We had a lot of people that submitted stuff, like, they change their ex's name and their phone. They delete text messages constantly. Like, yeah, that's stuff that's really duplicitous. Yeah. But this stuff isn't always as duplicitous. What do you think about liking? their exes stuff.

I just think that you probably know what your man, what your man says their relationship is with their ex. Like, I have two pretty serious exes in the last few years. One of them, yeah, I'd like his stuff. Yeah. We're just... Yeah, it's the nature of their relationship. Yeah. I mean, him and I are just friendly.

I mean, I guess if I see him, like, we're too fuck, but... I mean, he's there. I'm not gonna, like, not eat. But, like, I don't know, like, my other serious exes, like, I'm not out of here interacting with their social media. The relationship's over. We're not friends. It's done.

Yeah, but your main ex, your ex-fiance, he likes your stuff. It's so weird. It's so weird. But I'm not, he doesn't have a girlfriend. He doesn't have a girlfriend. But he is not dating anybody.

I mean, that I know we're not like friends. And I don't, he follows me. I don't follow him back. I don't interact with him liking stuff. Yeah. I mean,

every day I tend to hash. I'm like, what is this guy doing? Every day, it's like, knock, knock, I'm still here. What are you doing? I know.

But like, yeah, if he had a girlfriend, I would find it very bizarre. I don't know. It's just thinking about what the nature of the person's relationship is. If they're publicly liking their ex's stuff, like they're probably just stupid. They're trying to piss you off.

If you find that, your ex is either really dumb or really, I don't know, really. They're just dumb. That's all it is. Trying to think of something out. They're just dumb. What do you think about it? I just think it's such a situational thing.

We just got some, a couple people said that. Like, I just think it's so, I don't know. I want to say that if they're doing it, it means there's nothing there. That's my instinct. Because, like, if they really still have feelings for their ex,

I can't imagine someone dumb enough to, like, put it out there on social media. Right. So it almost makes me think that, yeah, it's like they're cool. I just, I just wouldn't. I don't know. But then I think about you and your ex you're talking about, like, yeah, he's such a non-threat. Like, you guys don't have feelings for each other. Your buddies, weirdly, you know.

So. But what I will say, like, he does like a bunch of my staff respond to my Instagram stories, but he had a serious girlfriend for about a year. And he did it. He was not interacting with me on any platform text, social media. ever. Good for him. I think maybe two times in a year, he asked me a question about a restaurant in New York City, and it was the most platonic thing you've ever seen in your life. Yeah. That's it. And so, yeah, I mean, if they have a significant other and they're still doing,

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, the ex-that conversation is like a whole other conversation. I remember that too with an ex in mind that we always stayed in touch. And I remember when he, like, casually dropped that he had a girlfriend. And I was like, say no more, fam. I get it. Yeah. I was like, I get it. Yeah. I was like, I did something about his girlfriend. I was like, noted. I don't, I'm not going to be calling you. I don't want to disrespect. this relationship? I don't even like you enough to try you like you like that. This is like a small little thing. I don't know what you think. Maybe we can talk about another episode, but like when people like keep their dating app profiles active. You know, I heard to be talking about this on another

podcast the other day and this guy was saying that his girlfriend, he's a girlfriend, newer girlfriend, maybe like six, seven months. One of her friends found him on a social, on a dating app, screenshot at sent at her and she was hysterical and really mad. I think a lot of people think, including me for a long time, that when you delete an app that it deletes the profile. Yeah. And it doesn't. So I think a lot of what we're finding today is that guys don't really know that they didn't deactivate the profile.

And I didn't know that either. I thought you just delete the app and it's over. Oh, yeah. Let's not talk about the, they haven't deleted their stuff. Let's talk about they're like still active on dating apps. I mean... Well, that guy's cheating on you. What does the other...

What do you think the other explanation? I don't know. I'm also just like, if I'm dating somebody, it's a few months in... I'm not going in and deleting everything. I'm not on it, though. Like, I don't know. I feel like I'm like, what, I got to take this step to deactivate my profile.

Yeah, like, when we're serious, we've said, I love you. If they want me to, I will. But like, if I was dating a guy, I don't know that I'm like, time to deactivate. Like, I just think I'm not on it, though. So if they're active on it, yeah, I think that's problematic. Well, I think that a lot of couples when you decided you're committed, just have a conversation.

I think a lot of couples have the work committed conversation. and let's deactivate this. I know a lot of people that have had that conversation. And then, you know, you reactivated like everybody else when you break up. You know, it's not that tough.

And you use those breakup body picks. Yes, that's the way. You get a whole new profile. Right. But this girl messaged us and said that she had seen, it was a couple months ago, that she had seen her boyfriend,

her current boyfriend of years and years on this dating app. And she's like, I can't believe this. I'm going to break up. And our knee-jerk reaction was that he probably just didn't delete the profile. Well, I mean,

who knows. You can tell by the pictures. I mean, she said they had been together for three years. So was one of the pictures from six weeks ago? Yeah. Did you fucking cheat on you? Did you take it? Are you cropped out of it?

What a dude is dumb enough? There is no. New York City is a giant pool of people. You will still find the person. Yeah. Okay. Who is dumb enough to leave themselves on a dating app on purpose to try to cheat on you? Who is that fucking dumb?

People are. That is crazy. It's dumb. It's part dumb, part no shame. That person does not care about you. There is not a pool of people big enough to hide in, okay? I also think that those guys think they can say, oh, I thought I deleted it.

You know what I mean? They know the answer. If they're out there really actively cheating on you, if they're out there still dating you, committed and still bumbling, like they have their response probably ready. They have, like, if you catch them, they're like, what do you, I didn't know.

You know, all they do is they just double down on a lie. Yeah. Whatever. Just don't be terrible. Okay. Look, I think all this stuff boils down to boundaries. You got to decide what your boundaries are and like I said, what the rules for dating you are.

And if the person that you're with doesn't want to abide by that stuff, then, you know, take some inventory of that, figure out how you feel and have the conversation. I don't think that like, all right, if your man is liking some girls' photos, maybe DMing with her from a vacation, maybe you don't want to end the relationship, but maybe it is like a come to Jesus kind of discussion

where you're like, this isn't cool, don't ever do this again. Yeah? Like, not everything is a relationship ending thing. Some people just do the things that are fucking annoying for attention, but it's not the end of the war. Right, because, yeah, because a lot of, like, guys, I mean, people in general just, like, want attention and stuff like that. Right. I'm not an angel, you know?

Like, I'm not out of here being the perfect angel either. Yeah, I just can't, I don't know. I can't do it, though. Like, if I'm dating somebody that I'm really into, I'm not flirty with other people. I don't need to be. I just, like, I'm with this person that I really care about, you know? But again, like, if I'm just kind of seeing somebody

and I'm not really committed, then I might be out here flirting. Like, that's part of it, too. It's just all boils down to making sure you're on the same page. Right. Like how are you? Like are you in love with this person? Are you like, I see a future with them? Like they might not be a bad person by kind of keeping their options open.

They just don't feel the same way about you. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're like the scum of the earth unless they're telling you that they're committed and want to be with you. But they might just not be on the same page. And that's the conversation you can have too. Like I think that's easy to be like, hey, I'm in this. Like I thought we were committed. You know, I see a future with you.

Or do you not feel the same? same way because I don't know your actions are kind of saying otherwise, you know? Yeah, I think it's a good temperature check conversation. Right. I like that. Not necessarily what are we, but if you really already feel like you're committed and they're doing all this stuff, I don't know. It's all warning signs to me. The guys that I know they're good guys. I don't know, they're shutting this stuff down. You know, like my brother gets a lot of DMs from probably you bitches. And he's very clearly as a girlfriend. It's very obvious. We talk about all the time. She's all over. I'm taller than all you, bitch.

She's all over. And he still gets DMs and he is polite, you know, but he's not letting them, like, linger. But he's also a bartender. So I'm sure he flirts from time to time. But in person at work, shuts it down, isn't answering those DMs later. I can't imagine my brother doing those things. And whatever. I know, like, we all want to think our brothers are like perfect angels.

But like, I, my brother has been with the same person for eight years, married for two. Like, I just, he's like a secure ass man. I can't imagine him. needing validation from some random slut. It's so true. And he said to me once, he was like, you know, the longer I'm with her, the less likely I have to cheat on her

because I love her more every day. I'm more committed to her every day. Like, the longer I'm with her, the less likely I need attention from other women. Get out of here. Like, yeah, of course, I want to believe that your brother and my brother are perfect angels because they are.

But I don't know. I just can't imagine a secure ass man doing stuff like that. Also, you said slut, but we don't want to slut shame. You meant to say thought. I love thoughts. Thoughts. I love when people just act. I saw a girl last night

her Instagram bio was like comedian thought. Like it was like, um, all right. Well, okay, so we as always have ripped men to shreds,

shat all over them. So let's talk about some good men and play our game how I knew it was real. Yes, I'm glad that we're doing this. I'm glad that we're going to end this on an upbeat thing. We love these stories that you guys and some of them are like, it's a real, uh,

buffet of, I need to find a new word besides buffet. I like buffet. It's a real wheel of things that you guys send us from like hysterical and disgusting to like stuff that really makes us sit here and cry. It's sweet snacks are just so disgusting. Yeah, a lot of period and poop stuff. I shit on his face and he said he loved me.

A lot of snacks. It's like snacks or poop. It's like the stuff you eat and the stuff that leads to birth control IEDs. All right. So we're going to go fishing stuff out of people's orifices or a bunch of newverang stuff. I always think I'm like alone in the things I went through and every girl's like, yeah, my boyfriend puts my new

ring in for me too. All right. All right. I'm going to kick it off with this one. It's very short. It just made me laugh because it's like not something I would ever be attracted to. It's just like, and then they've been getting to get whatever.

We'll get it to it. I hadn't even gone on a date with this guy, but we did know one another through mutual friends. I walked past him in college, holding two giant water bottles. And without hesitation, he said, hey, nice jugs. She writes in all caps, stopped me in my tracks, and I knew he was the one.

We've been married for three years and together for a total of five. I don't hate it. Because he was talking about the water bottles. That's fucking funny. If you were wearing a low-cut shirt and a guy yelled out, hey, nice jugs,

I would punch him in the face for you. But if you were carrying two water bottles, funny. This is like, it's so anti-feminine. It's so funny. It's funny. That's why I think it's funny because she's like, that was my man. Like, I just feel like he was like, his gross humor connected to her gross humor and they connected and they're married.

I just, it's so funny. Like, I would hate, I would like, if that happened to me, I was carrying two giant waterballs and some guy I was like, hey, nice jugs. I would like hate myself for laughing. I'd be like, God damn it. I guess we're dating now. I'd feel the same way. Yeah, you grow up. Maybe he's a brother.

Okay. Same sense of humor. Where's this jugs guy's brother? All right. we're going to move into some gross territory. My now husband and I had been dating for only a few months when one day while having sex, I remembered mid-thrust that I hadn't taken my tampon out. I have been there.

We stopped immediately and I went to the bathroom to try and reach up there to remove it myself. After several minutes with no success, I returned to the bedroom. He told me to bend over the bed and he would give it a try. After several painful attempts, his entire hand in my vagina searching around for the long-lost tampon, I was in tears thinking this would end in a trip to urgent care to have it removed. He gave it one final attempt and was able to grab that sucker. He never even flinched and we still laugh about it now eight years later. I can't pick my job off the floor.

I have too much Botox until I handle this right now. I mean, she got fully fisted. Fully Fisted. Bend over, babe. What? That is so sweet. It is so gross. That is love.

I have, this happened with the two girlfriends of mine. Like when we did my girlfriends, how I knew she was a true friend. I'm not going to say names. My best girlfriend. This happened with her and another one of our friends that she had to get it out of her.

Would you do that for me? I don't think so. I know. I just, I wouldn't want, I would never, I would go to urgent care before I would have you fist me.

Yeah, I don't think that like we're going to ever cross that line. But they were in Dewey and it's like, there's not that much medical care and Dewey like shoot Corey, or Corey,

it was Corey. She had to get a tampon out of our other friend. She just had to do it. I'm, I'm, I'm so astonished. I just, I can't believe it. Like, fully fisted a person. I know. It's, yeah, girlfriends, I just don't know.

But yeah, your man, I mean, he's, he's, he was up there. He was just up there. Yeah, I guess it's really not that crazy for your man. I mean, he put it up there. Yeah, this, this happened to me in college. I had a tampon lodged in me and I had to go to, uh, I had to go to the, or the, the, whatever, it was called Redfern at Clemson. And I had to go to the medical center.

And they just have to go up there. Like, I guess, I don't, I guess there's a scenario which you would have to use some sort of device. For the most part, like you just got to get, someone's got to reach their hand. You don't use pliers? No, someone just reached up in there. You don't understand. I wish you'd never tell me the story.

I think I had stirrups in. Yeah, I know. You told me the story. Every time you tell me, I have nightmares about it for a week. All right. I literally dream about this at least once a month. There's more to the story. It's disgusting.

I, that's as close to your vagina as I ever want to come is this story. Okay. All right. Well, let's do another gross one. And then we're going to go to sweet. We swear. All right. This email is entitled

Shart. Just so you guys know we're going with this. I feel like the last... Spoiler alert. This is the last time we really focused on snacks. This time we're really focusing

on bodily function. Okay. My boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch watching TV one night. We were in a position where I was halfway laying on him only wearing an oversized t-shirt and a thong.

I had one leg across his body and my ass was on his leg. I don't know if it was something I had eaten or what, but my stomach was a little upset and I farted on him. Not the first. time I had ever farted in front of him, this is a normal thing. However, I instantly knew

there was more than that. I got up as hot. I got up as quickly as possible and ran to the bathroom to find out. I literally sharded on my boyfriend. No. So gross. And the fact that he's still, he's still with me. He isn't even the best part. He literally brought me a new pair of underwear when we got out of the shower. And I kid you not, he threw my dirty ones in the dumpster outside of my apartment. Tell me I have to marry this man. I am crying. You actually are crying.

Here's the thing about this email. You are crying. I didn't look up and shoot the whole time I was reading. You're crying. Okay. I know it's funny. I know it's a shart. I know it's disgusting.

But what it says about this man is so much deeper than that. Like that is a disgusting thing. You shit on your boyfriend's leg. And without skipping a beat, he threw your underwear out. Like this man is a good man. I'm sorry. I would be willing to put money that he has never even done anything like that terrible.

Like I think he's a good guy. Like there's just to do that. I don't even know if I would do that. I wouldn't do it for somebody. I mean, I would hope somebody would do that for me, but also make fun of me for the rest of time. Of course.

But like this guy, yes, have kids with this man. Like he's going to change diapers, you know, like if you shard in your man and he does this, he's going to change those diapers. He is going to be a good dad. Procreate with him.

Absolutely. Absolutely. like he will change all the day first. Seriously, like, I feel like once you get past the honeymoon stage, like, it's kind of gross. The stuff that you're going to see your partner do is like real gross. Okay. So like, I don't know. This guy sounds like he probably was in the army. He's like tough. Okay. Well, we have one about the army. How did you know? We do. Okay. I literally didn't even read ahead. This next. Wow. What a segue. Okay. So this one was a two-parter. The first part was close to my heart. There was a lot of stuff about Dewey Beach, Wawa. It was a whole thing. But it was just too long and I just had to show,

She wrote part two. So I'm just going to read the second part. So this is this couple. They're dating. And she got really blacked out in Dewey Beach. There was some Wawa situation, whatever. And that's one of the parts how she knew that they were meant to be. She goes, fast forward another couple of months after this like Dewey Beach blackout.

He leaves for an extended deployment for 11 months. Okay. I'm going to take deep press. This man went full on PS I Love You Shit and planned out a year's worth of cards, surprises, gifts, and planted notes in my apartment for. while he was overseas. He even prepared a list of snacks and finals week's supplies for his mom to mail me with a card during my finals.

I couldn't thank him enough for making such a crap experience. One to remember we're going on year nine of being together and three of being married. I'm not okay. Okay, now I'm crying. What? Oh, my God. I just thought so thank you for your service. I just think that like on this podcast, we make fun of men so hard and their shady behavior.

And like, I just like knowing that there are still people in the world out there like this that are so thoughtful. They were raised right. That respect women. Now I'm crying. I'm trying to cry. This man is going to war. And he took the time to make sure her finals were okay. She had enough snack story finals week.

He's getting shot at. He's on the front lines in Afghanistan. He's like, she got to have her goldfish crackers. Did you mail Angela the goldfish crackers? Oh, my God. what an angel. Oh my god, this is so funny. He finds like a bunker in Afghanistan

to call his mom. He's like, oh my God, it's a day for Econ final. Mom, did you mail the snacks? There's like bombs going off. Someone just tossed it a grenade. He's called his mom. The meal!

Oh, my God. Okay. Damn it. These are all like cute and sweet. I know. All right. The last one I was cute and sweet too. And it's validating to us.

All right. I like this one because it talks about me. That's all the matters. I asked my boyfriend. and how he knew that it was real between us. I like this. Oh, I love this. Yeah, start asking your partners

and tell us what they say. He told me it was the following. On our first date, which was one of those marathon dates, where we were at our third location of six, and we were having a long conversation where I just laid it all out on the table and shared my promotion of therapy,

meaning like that she really believes in therapy. Yeah. For everyone and how to change my life. In hindsight, what was I thinking? Because he says, it just showed I was outsmoking, smart, and strong-willed. He loved it. we've been inseparable ever since and just got a dog together.

Just goes to show that all this debating, over dating, and how we should act is mostly fruitless. As you girls always promote, be your true self. I would add that, be your true self and find someone who will pay a premium for your brand of crazy. Oh my God. All I do is cry with everything. I do love that. Because that is not something that everyone's just willing to say on a first date that I'm in therapy. love therapy. I mean, I think therapy has become way more mainstream and acceptable. Like,

there's no stigma anymore. Like, it's hot when men go to therapy. You know, women are therapy. I think everybody benefits from it. But I just love this. So she in her head was like, what am I, what am I saying? And then he's like, you're awesome. If you ever like in the middle of a conversation, you're like, the train is left the station. I have to finish this. And I really don't want to. But like, like, this is exactly what Eden said when she was on our episode too. She's like, I just had no, like, preconceived notions of like how I should act with like my men. And man that I ended up being engaged to like three weeks later. Like she was like, I just acted like me and this girl. I mean, some people would think that

that's crazy. I know. And this guy was like, I like it. She's outspoken and confident. I can't stress that enough. Like, I feel like the person that you really are going to end up with, you kind of are like that the very first time you hang out. Like, I just, I strongly believe that you feel like immediately comfortable for some reason. I have a question for you. I don't know why I'm laughing because I know the answer. On the first date, are you not unapologetically you? Oh, man. All right. I want to be a fly on the wall for you on a first date.

I think about this sometimes. Like, is she like all demure and has no opinions? She walks no place, no air conditioning. She's like, we'll stay. Absolutely not. I told you this. That one time last summer, I, here's the thing. When I am my true self, like it or don't, and like, you know, that guy last summer,

I drug him to four different places to find AC and he wanted to date me. Like, I kind of had to shut that down. Like, he was the one that was like, he called me, asked me out again. again, whatever. My ex that I dated that we were like in love and whatever. Our first date, granted, we've been texting a little bit before. Our first date after the date, he sent me a list of ridiculous things I had said during the date. No, he did not. Like he was like, here's what you just, he was like, just the craziest stuff. I was my full true self. Like I remember there was, he was like, do you want to go get a refill and a coffee refill? And I was like, yeah, and he went inside. We were on the

patio with this restaurant in Atlanta. He went inside and he came back out and they go, he goes, they only had decaf. And I go, what? And he goes, I knew you were going to overreact. Like, he knew abroad at the bat, like who I was as a person. Daniel, I knew you show out, show up exactly as you. The other guy that dated for years and years, like, I mean, the first night we met, we were wasted. But I still remember like telling him stuff that night that like shouldn't be said the first time you meet somebody. And I remember waking up and me like, that guy's never going to call me again. He couldn't wait to see me again. But those are the people like, I think you and I, It reminds me this line from girls, Relina Demms.

She says, I'm not being too much, I'm being just enough. And, like, you and I are just very much like that. Like, we just show up as we are. Yeah, you do, right? Some people. Like, the jokes that you and I make on a daily basis, just talking shit, and, like, really just digging into some stuff. Like, some people are not going to like that.

A guy that just wants, like, a very docile kind of girl. Like, that's not me. Yeah. And that's not who's showing up on this day. For sure. I just am who I am. Nobody's ever gone out. I've, again, tons of stuff that are,

wrong with me. But nobody's ever gone out with me and been like blindsided by my personality because they didn't really know who I was. I'm exactly who I am always. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I don't. The only time I feel like you're getting not my real self is if I'm not enjoying myself. Because then I'm like, I don't, I'm just, I don't have the energy to be funny. I don't even, I don't want to be here. You know, like I feel like I've probably gone in some dates that I didn't really want to be there and I was waiting for it to end and the guy walked away thinking I was like just kind of boring, which. surprised. Like, I don't know. I'm just like, I'm just so want to be here. Yeah. You know, like, I can't turn it on anymore. Not that I'm turning on my personality, but I'm just like, I'm just going to sit here and finish this drink till I can go. Well, thanks for asking me. It was very funny. It's funny laugh that came out of your body. Are you like this with men? I just know that you're showing up as you. I just know you. Like, I just know there isn't like a different version of Ashley that shows up on Dave. I don't think many men are wishy-washy about me.

I think you want to marry me or you never want to see me again. Yeah, absolutely. But that's a good way to be. They say on dating apps, the best thing you can do is be like very specific about your interest and exactly what you are. Like the people that are writing like, I like meeting new friends and taking walks. Like nobody clicks on those people because you're not specific enough. I know.

You're a specific person. So people like you or they don't. They fell fast with you. Yeah, for sure. Love or hate. A lot of hate. But anyway. Thank you guys for listening to our episode.

Yeah, I hope you guys liked it. I was excited to do this topic today. So excited. Follow us in everything. Subscribe, Ray Review. We're going to push that out extra hard next week because it's going to be Raina's birthday week. That's all she wants for her birthday. So if you want to give her an early birthday present, give us a nice review. And we'll see you in Minneapolis. Yes. Minneapolis, Salt Lake City, Phoenix, Denver, Montreal, Atlantic City, Toronto. Those are all over the place. But we'll see you there. Yeah. And look for some other updates soon. All right, guys. StupidLivyshows.com. Check them out. And that's it. We'll talk to you

next week. We'll see you next week. Bye, guys.