Girls Gotta Eat - Keep it Sexy Forever

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

Shout out to our smart and sexy listeners for contributing to this premium content on keeping the spark alive. We took all your tips and tricks (and added our own hot takes) on how to set yourself up for success in a relationship and prolong the passion -- everything from date night themes to boudoir pics to butt stuff. Ashley also shares a personal (and embarrassing) experience, and Rayna pops off about soup (again). We hope you enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for show dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Dipsea: Get a 30-day free trial at dipseastories.com/gge. Pretty Litter: Get 20% off at prettylitter.com with code GGE. Uquora: Get proactive about urinary tract health and 20% off at uqora.com/gge. Bright Cellars: Visit brightcellars.com/gge for 50% off your first 6-bottle box. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send him random fuck-shaish calendar invites. Love this. If you guys were really into like work and organization invites. I'll send them for you. Welcome back to a bonus episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Extra Extra. Very special. Listen all about it.

We mentioned this before. We teased this episode a couple weeks ago about why we're doing this. We crowdsourced you guys on ways that you keep the passion alive in your relationship and how you spice up your long-term relationships or any term relationships. And we got these incredible answers and we were like, let's just put these all together and do a bonus episode. And that episode is really important too. So if you haven't listened yet, I can't recommend it enough.

If you're here, you should definitely go back and listen to that one. That was an episode called Prolonging the Passion with Michaela Bohm. And it was really eye-opening, insightful hot takes, but not so much of like, do this thing, do this thing. Some of that, but we just wanted to hear what you guys had to. say because you never let us down and you are so incredible and funny and inspiring and we just want to see how you guys are keeping the relationship alive. So you told us and this episode is dedicated to that. Yeah. And we wanted to really deep dive on this because I mean, we both feel like

keeping the spice lab in a relationship doesn't just mean like crazy sex and you guys are like pegging each other. And I don't think that's what the average person wants is to like, I mean, if you do, go for it. A lot of stuff in the answer. I think that most people aren't like, you know, I just want to create your sex. I think people want to feel appreciated by their partner, acknowledged by their partner. You still want to keep dating your partner. Even if you're married, if you've kids,

I think that you just want to feel like that spark that you like once had in the very beginning. We're like, oh, a new person likes me. So we're going to talk about all kinds of stuff. We are going to have all crazy sex stuff. But just like how you acknowledge your partner

and make them feel like super special because I think people stop doing that sometimes because you just get comfortable. Yeah, it's really, so it's more just like, yeah, spicing things up, but more just keeping that passion alive, prolonging the passion. Yeah.

So, but we wanted to share our, our stories. Oh, did you want to talk about soup? Do you want to talk about soup? No, we can just roll right into it. Listen, guys, stop tagging me and stuff about soup, about like Campbell's soup. No, you do want to talk about it. Go off.

You know, listen. I just, listen, I, soup is my truth. And I love soup. And I live for soup season. Listen, every season is soup season, as I've said. But I just, I can admit that it's soup season now. Like, you can't be out here telling people in July it's soup season because people think you're a serial killer.

But like, people have been tagging me, like, and they're eating their soup. But they're, like, they're, like, channeling my inner rena greenberg. And they're eating, like, Campbell's chicken noodle. And that's not my truth. That's not my truth. That's not what I want. My bar is, like, broccoli cheese soup from Panera.

That's my truth. I go to West Side Market a lot. I get the soups. I go to Hail and Hardy. Campbell's canned soup is not my truth. Wow. It's not. I mean, listen, if they pay me enough money, I'll say it's my truth.

But it's not my truth. It's still nice that people think you when they're eating soup. Fine. It's nice. I'll tell you the night that I moved into my apartment. I don't know why. Right, you're not out here like talking about bougie soups. Panera.

It's a Panera. That's my peak, peak, peak is Panera. Remember that first time you brought me to Hale and Hardy? I did not know what it was about. Because they're hard. They're like in business areas. There's not a Hale and Hardy in the East Village, right? So I didn't know about this brand of fast casual amazingness.

And you brought me there. I went off. I was. I've been thinking about it a lot. That we need to make a trek up to fucking Midtown. Oh, no, they deliver now. They've expanded their delivery radius. What?

Yeah. Okay. They used to not because they're like, fuck you, we're below an office building. It has thousands of people in this building. Oh, because no one's in Midtown anymore. I mean, it's sad, but some of these places that didn't deliver or now delivering. Now they're delivering. So I got three soups delivered.

You know, that's why I was late to come over the other day. I was tested on. You had soup delivered from Hale and Hardy? Oh, yeah, girl. Wow. Yeah. Also, listen, hear me out on this. Yeah.

You know how I feel at West Side Market because they don't do cream-based soups. It's broad. They have them? No, they have tons of them. Are you sure? Crooked out of here, am I sure? Do I go there every day? They have broccoli cheddar. They have lobster bisk. They have... But it feels oily. It's not thick. I like a whole food soup. Sometimes it separates a little bit, but like that's just what's going to happen when you like put a cream-based soup in the

refrigerator aisle. They do have hot soups. You can... It's hard. Okay. It's hard. It's hard. It's not my soup truth. I love soup too in the winter when it's appropriate. But I do love whole food. I just have always, even in Atlanta, you used to crush whole food soup. They crush on the soup. Their chili's amazing. Hear me out. You love soup all year. Yeah.

Not a cold soup, though. I feel like people would be surprised to know this about me that I'm a hot coffee person, even in the summer. So this is, okay. You're out here eating soup at 8 a.m., bitch. Do not. So here's how you know what kind of coffee person you are. If you're like, I like hot coffee in the winter and ice coffee in the summer, yeah, bitch,

so do we all. But do you drink ice coffee in the winter? and hot coffee in the summer. That's how you know which one you actually prefer. I will drink hot coffee on the beach 90 degrees. I don't. I rarely get iced coffee. I'm not hating on it.

I can appreciate an ice coffee and a cold brew for sure. But I love hot coffee. And people are really divided down the middle because you see those people out there. There's so many memes about it of like ice coffee when it's 10 degrees out. Live your truth. I'm hot coffee on the beach in Miami. Okay. Here's how I feel.

First of all, I know this about you and it's weird. But you know what? It's not the weirdest thing that you could, I mean, it's not the weirdest thing about me. Yeah, it's definitely not the weirdest thing about you. I don't, okay, so I'm an iced coffee most of the year because I really enjoy it. Also, for a couple reasons. I like, you know, I like take my morning walk and go get coffee.

And I find it hard to just walk with a coffee that's hot because I spill it. But secondly, I don't really love the flavor of coffee. I like the results of coffee. I like that makes me jittery and like awake and I poop a lot. So, like, I want to drink it quickly. Can't do that with hot coffee. I just, I don't love coffee. So ice coffee is really like the lane I'm in.

But I like to. Faster delivery. Well, yeah, that makes sense. I like the experience. I love like the feeling, the experience of drinking coffee. Like I get excited to do it. You know, like a nice coffee maker. I'm super into it.

I'll do a French press here and there. You know, I have so many mugs. Speaking of mugs, check out our mugs. There is a dewy mug and all kinds of fun mugs at girls gottypodcast.com, new merch. But, you know, I mean, that's the one thing I collect when I travel, our mugs. Like, I'm just a big. coffee culture person. I love going to different countries and seeing what their coffee culture is all about. Like, Mexico City, Australia. Like, I just love coffee culture. You were more just like,

I need to shoot this in my veins and it needs to happen quick. So I'm going to slug down a nice coffee where I'm just like, I want to savor it. Yeah, but also I'm getting up earlier than you are. You know, like you get up in three o'clock in the afternoon. You know, you're not trying to like get all jittery. It's almost time to go to bed when you get up in the afternoon. That's why I need my coffee because I'm groggy as fuck because I slept till three. I have not slept till three. years. I sang you a sweet message this morning and you just hit the like on it. I was like, oh shit. You know, I've been going through some shit. Um, yeah. I do try to send you like a sweet or funny message in the morning. I don't, because I'm up at seven now. Now the daylight savings has happened.

I usually be up at eight. But by the time it's like 8.30, I have a whole list of things I need to talk to you about. I try to not hit you with that list the minute you wake up. Well, you and I, we'll talk about this because we'll talk about our relationship. You and I are I think how you speak to your partner, you're like Rain and I, and the tone you take with them and how you greet them in a text when you greet them when you see them. We've talked about this before is so important.

So it's like I think you and I try, you probably more than me, but I try as well. I think we both do this. You usually hit me first in the mornings. We try to say good morning with an exclamation point or a smiley face. Like it's really mean, it means a lot. Like rather than just going in with like,

here's what we have to do with work or whatever it may be. Like little things like, that I think goes such a long way. I think you and I like, I mean, maybe it comes more naturally to you. I sometimes finding myself, like, needing to make those efforts of like, let me approach this person in a kinder, nicer, lighter tone to start our communication. And we talk about that too, like, how you act when you pick up the phone and how you act when you see somebody in person for the first time. Like, I think it means so much. And like, that just sets it for me. Some people aren't sensitive to this stuff. But it's like, I just, I try to be conscious of it. And I think that's

huge in relationships. I've read like articles. And, There's been studies on this of like that tone and like the acknowledgement and the excitement surrounding a person. Yeah. I mean, I never want to feel like my partner or my business partner is so comfortable with me that they don't need to treat me the way that they would treat everybody else anymore. Like, yeah, sometimes in the morning one of us has to wake the other person, be like, this thing is happening.

It's an emergency. For sure. Yeah. But like I don't want either of us to ever feel like it's been three years in business together and so you're like my beck and call person. I don't have to like acknowledge you as a person. Yeah. Or just you get up and you just start in.

Yeah. It's just, it's always something to keep in mind. with somebody that you're in, like, relationship with. Of just, like, why not hit him with a good morning? It's just, like, it, it, I think it shifts the way the other person is about to receive whatever else you're about to say. Yeah, I'm trying to butter you out because I'm like, Ashley and I start 90% of conversations. You more than may with, hear me out.

Hear me out. We haven't talked about this too much, but it's a bonus episode, so fuck it. We don't have merch. You guys don't really know this about us, probably. We say, hear me out to each other so many times. It's a lot of times we're trying to convince each other to do something that, we probably know the other person is going to go for. Yes.

I'm trying to think of a recent example. It's usually something bad. Or it'll be like, hear me out, and then I'll send you a link to an Airbnb in Cabo and be like, hear me out the whole winter. It's either like a wild travel decision

or like a guest you don't know if I'm going to say yes to or a topic you don't know if I'm going to say yes to it. For you, it's real estate plans. Yeah, hear me out. Hear me out. Let's move. We're planning on.

some winter staff away from New York. We'll see. We'll see. But we do it all the time. It's become a thing. Hear me out. Or like, so, okay, this is an example. Someone sent me a Moschino, Moschino, Mosquino.

Mosquino. Mosquino. Mosquino. Mosquist purse. It was $1,200. I have not purchased this. Yes. But you guys know me so well.

A few people DM'd me. I had not seen this. So I was appreciative. Again, I haven't bought this. I'm not here trying to flex. that I buy little designer pastries for $1,200, but I was kind of like, do I need this? And so I sent you the link and I said, hear me out. And then you were like, if that's what you need it this time.

It's a luxury pastry pouch. Here's why I like, hear me out. Then we can move on. I pull a croissant out of the croissant. Wow. Blow everyone's fine. I feel like it'll go over. It's a fucking matrix.

Here's why I like, hear me out. I can do a TikTok. Hear me out for why I like, hear me out. It sets up the conversation with your, after you're communicating to somebody. You might not like what I'm about to say. say, but just before you jump down my throat, just hear me out. Yeah. You know, I feel like it sets.

It's like when somebody says like, okay, don't be mad, but it's like a better way of saying that. But I will say, we usually use it when we know the other person's going to go. It's lighter. Like if I have a real thing I need to talk to you about, I like say, you know, can I call you or what you freak out when I say? Can I call you? You're like, what is going on?

The scariest thing you ever said to me when I was like, oh my God. should I be upset? As when you told me you thought about moving to Delaware for the whole fall. And you were like speaking really slowly. And you were like, I want to be sure you feel good about this. And I was like, should I be more upset about this? You were like, you're framing this like I should be upset. And then I didn't.

Yeah. I mean, I know that you're not going to do any of your real estate decisions. Yeah. The emotional Rona coaster took its toll on me the last few months with some life decisions. But okay, so we're ready for story time. I haven't heard this story. Brina, it's so embarrassing. This is about how you tried to keep your relationship alive.

No, it's not. Just hear me out. Okay. I'm so embarrassed to tell the story. Okay. So this is about my ex who I've talked about before. We met at the end of college. We were often on just really, yeah, off and on serious, not serious, sort of serious, whatever, long distance, always for like six years. I've talked about him on various occasions. I didn't ever think he was really like my person, but we still went back and forth and did this dance for a very long time. and he's the guy that I talked about how I made my mom's empanadas for him and realized his love language was services. And that's when he like, you know,

I said he ate the leftovers and my pussy the rest of the weekend. Like this was the guy that we talked about the love language's episode. So love languages episode, this guy, the bottom line, like I made hit. I cooked for him for the first time. And it really worked in my favor. So we were getting back together. Like he, again, he was like in a branch of the military. He was coming to visit, whatever.

The details aren't really important. He was coming to see me and I hadn't seen him in a while. So we were kind of like getting back, starting back up. And I don't really know. I'm trying to remember somehow in our communication, it like came up. We had this joke from college about him wearing swim trunks and like an untraditional time. Whatever. Bottom line, I think what happened was that he was like, I'm going to show up wearing swim trunks.

And I was like, do it. You know? And then I was like, I'll plan a whole like tropical theme night. Kidding, kind of. So I thought. But it was February. So the winner in Atlanta. And then I got in my head like, I'm just going to go for this tropical night.

Okay. So I am going to create a vibe. Did you live alone? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I lived on North Island Avenue alone, me and Dewey. And what I like to call my Carrie Bradshaw apartment. So I was like, I'm going to like get margaritas.

I'm going to make the empanadas. I'm going to do guacamole. I'm going to put on a tropical playlist. And I'm going to. Okay. Okay. And when I hate myself, when he got, I had the little decor from Party City. I can't.

I'm so embarrassed. Bitch, I live in Party City. I was there last night. And then when he comes over, I'm going to be like in a bikini. Okay. In February. Okay. But then I was like, I don't want to answer the door wearing a bikini.

Like I could, but like I was just like, I want to like have the night first. Well, and have him take something off because I'm not going to sit down in a bikini and eat them. dinadas, right? So I was like, I need a, like, fancy cover-up. Okay, so. Also, of course, I got spray-tan, a part of the dewy groom, department cleaned. Like, I was going all, all so long. So I was like, I need, like, fancy cover-ups. I'm going to treat myself and get, like, nice, really sexy, borderline lingerie bikini cover-ups. I go to Bloomingdale's. I find two. Like, again, I probably, I was probably pretty dead at this point. I got a black one and a white one, because I couldn't decide.

One does it look like kind of like a lacy dress. I still wanted the black one that's like, it's a little much for the beach. Like you're like, what is she doing? So while I was paying, the woman checking me out was like, girl,

look at these coverups. Where are you going? And I was like, Miami. Like, I just lied. And she goes, when?

I'm going next weekend too. Like you're going to meet up. And no, because I said next weekend. And she was like, girl, really? And we go back and forth and I am lying. I am lying. She was like, where are you staying? I was like, Gansabort. Like, I don't think the Gansabort was open anymore. I was just, I stayed there once like years

prior. I was, I don't lie. You know me. I'm not one to lie. Lies don't really roll off the tongue for me. I am blind to this woman through my teeth of my trip to Miami. She's like, is it for work or, you know, she was just chatty. You concocted it a whole story. Chaddy is cashier of all time. And I'm like, I walked out with my two coverups. I was like, I cannot believe what I just had to go. through. It was such a low moment to eat empanadas in February in a bikini in your house. He came over and it did work out. It didn't work out. It did work out. Oh my God. I was no. It would be really. It did work out. He was like so into it. He was like, like, people love this shit. Guys girls bought the bar pretty high with the theme night. But guys and girls love this shit.

Like if you, if someone doesn't like fuck that person. Like I, I mean, I'm, you know me, I don't even like cheesy stuff and I can appreciate the effort and stuff like that. So he came in. I had the music play and I had a margarita ready. Like, then we were, I think we fucked before the empanadas came out of the oven. Like, he was super into it. Titties out. I was tan. You know, the apartment was so clean. I had like a coconut candle blazing. You know, it was on point for our, and it was in February. So it was cold. Like, it really worked out. Our favorite. He was wearing the swim trunks. He came in and put the swim trunks. That was the whole thing. This is an awesome night. Okay. But I want to tell you, because I was like, the Bloomingdale.

I don't want to plan theme recordings for me. I just would never forget that girl being like, Girl! Where are you staying? Well, it's funny if you know you because you are the least likely to lie about anything. Like you more than anybody on earth. So for you to make up this entire story, you had to concoct. But the wheels turning when she was like, where are you going?

And I was like, in my apartment. I was like, I cannot tell her. Honestly, I think that would have sounded crazier. I know. I'm planning this day. date night for my man. Yes. That's what I'm saying. I can't tell her. Bloomingdale's in the middle. It's so funny. We'll show the cover-up on Instagram. We always say that, but we have to do it.

We did the coffee cup this week. We committed it. The black, cute cover-ups. And the way it, like, could frame in my titty is like, he walked in and he was like, damn. Like, I was like, I nailed it. Isn't that such a good feeling to you? Target the cany underneath. All right. Well, I'll take some photos of you in it. Okay. After this. Let's stop recording. I'll Was it like one of those like mesh cover-ups? Yep. Okay. Really inappropriate to the beach. Black. Black.

More black to the beach. You were like Miami. The last place on earth you were black at the beach. It is so like, it's just, it looks like sexy little lingerie dress. I'm glad you told me. Serve the purpose. I can't believe there's like a story. I don't know about you. I'm always really excited when I land on one though. Yeah. You know? And we had a great weekend. We got back together. Yeah. I didn't have hang a lot of stuff. that weekend. I had saved a bunch of stuff for him to do. I just have stuff around my apartment that's like,

someday when I get a boyfriend. I have like almost no light bulbs left at work. Like someday when I get a boyfriend, I'll have light in my apartment again. Put that on your hinge. Like looking for someone to change the light bulbs. That's what Dylan's for. He's going over later. True. That's fair.

Also, before we get into it, there are a bunch of other episodes where we're talking about keeping the magic alive, creating a good sex dialogue between your partner, Dr. Emily Morris, Dr. Ian Kerner. You guys can look those up on our website. You can just search the episodes and find them. But there's tons of stuff that we've done in the vein of this.

And we're just going to talk about some fun, exciting listener submissions and how you keep it alive. Yeah. And a few of you said things like that. You said that you have tapped into our resources in terms of the sex therapist and sex experts we've had on and also listen to those episodes with your partner too. So I can't recommend enough. I mean, I keep referencing this. But for example, the tip that Dr. Emily Morris provided us with the like oral. sex tip that a guy like licks you

like looks to you perpendicular. I still haven't gotten to try it but like little things like that. We can't stress enough. We say this over and over and over you guys. You're probably tired of hearing it that like have a takeaway from a podcast or an article or whatever you're listening to a reading or watching and just say I heard this thing. Let's try it. It's so easy. I know. So before we get

into your suggestions and our suggestions, you know, obviously we'll talk about fun sex things but just ways to sort of reignite things a little bit. I think that like basically what people are saying is that the newness has faded away, you know? And I think that there's some shame in that when you talk to your friends or it's not talked about so much. And I think that, you know, once you're in a relationship three, four years, you do realize you just don't feel the same that you used to in the beginning.

And like, we miss that feeling, that serotonin rush from like a new crush or like a new fun, sexy thing that you're doing with somebody. And I think that people are like embarrassed to admit that to their friends that it's sort of faded. And it's not just sex. It's, you know, he doesn't ever tell me, I look nice. Or like you said before, he doesn't text me good morning after I leave for work. And I think there's just no shame in it. I think that there's no reason to beat yourself up. I do think that there's other things that can be wrong in a relationship. We'll talk about that later that you should seek a therapist for. But if it's just that it feels a little less spicy and exciting, I just think that that that's really normal. And I think that at the end of day,

we all want to feel like sexy and desirable to our partners. This is just like fun ways to remind you how to do stuff like that. And I want to jump in too and piggyback on that and just say that the sooner you start this stuff, the better. Again, we talked about this with Ian Kerner, he was the first person to really bring this to our attention of like, you don't start these things when the relationship has a problem. You start these things early so you have the tools for when stuff does fade, you know, when the dopamine, dopamine, serotonin goes away, whatever. Which one is dopamine or serotonin? Both are two different things. Okay, I know. They come from different things. We'll do a whole brain, chemical episode. We should do that. So we are going to. The love drugs start

to fade away a little bit, like that you already have these things in place. So like again, Like I, that guy that I did the sexy tropical night, we weren't years into some long-term relationship. You know, and I'll talk about my, another relationship I had too as we get into these activities we're going to talk about. But start this stuff early. And then you could just keep it going. Like, don't just rely on the newness and the like, whatever, we'll just do whatever

because everything you do is hot at the beginning. So it's like these things are, these tools are so great. You don't have to be utilizing them every day, every week, every month even. But just like starting to incorporate them. So you don't. lose that magic and lose that passion. And the shock and the newness is going to fade away. It just is.

I'm not saying except being in a relationship that you have bad sex and you don't feel like, you know, appreciated, but it just happens. You're not going to have the same kind of mind-blowing sex. I mean, that you had the first couple months, first year. I mean, if you still do it, go for you, go off. But not everybody is. And I mean, I think a couple of things.

I think that, like, that's what being in a relationship is. You have to accept you're probably not going to have that newness again, right? And I think you would take stock of the rest of the relationship. ship and say, look at all these other great things I get. You know? Yeah, I'm not like seeing what their nipples look like for the first time. But like I have this really special partner. And I was reading somebody today about like passionate love versus compassionate love. And both of those things are really great.

And I think that like there is so much to be said for having like a safe, comfortable, safe place in your partner. Unfortunately, some of the crazy stuff wears off. But so much, I mean, at least for me is just like making your partner feel appreciated and excited. And yeah, maybe you peg them sometimes. I don't know. Yeah. And keeping your own life.

like we talked about with Michaela, it's the number one thing. Do not get lost in this person and turn into one. You know, it's like that's how, that's the ultimate, right? We did a whole episode on it or, you know, it was a big theme of that episode. And so that, that's the where to start is just not meshing your life so much together that you completely lose yourself. Yeah. And do a temperature shock on your relationship, you know, are these just tiny little things

that we can do to inject some, like, fun, some sexiness in the relationship? Or do I maybe not want to be with this person because we just want different things in life? Yeah. A lot of people said breakup. Yeah. I mean, that is the answer for some of these things. We're just like, don't be in a relationship. We got a lot of that, which go off.

Live your independent truth. I mean, I feel like we talk about this a lot. It's like, we always talk about like, what's the takeaway of this episode going to be? And it's like, yeah, I mean, after you try everything, the answer is breakup. I don't know. And if you don't want to be in a long-term relationship, then fucking don't. Look at us. You know?

Killing it. All right. Can we get into it? Yeah. Okay. The first bucket we're going to talk about is, I love that you say never stop dating, making plans, prioritizing those plans, activities, and things like that. So these all kind of fall into those things.

I did not. That's not an original line. Of course. I just told you. I used to work at Union Square Cafe. Somebody came in. They were like, I want to buy somebody a wedding gift card to like come out to eat. And what they wrote on the card was never stopped dating as a wedding gift. Yeah, it's not like a hot date.

No. But I love it. I just whatever. I thought it was like a cute moment. You said it earlier today. Yeah. Like I love using that language. And I'll just say my experience with this was an ex of mine.

We were really doing great. We had no problems. I mean, we would come to have plenty of problems. But like, we were dating. We were falling for each other. We were doing great. And he said, I want to do date nights once a week. You know, it was like Monday night. He was like, I'll never, he had a job where he would work at night. So he was like, I don't, I'll never work that night. That's like our special night. It was like one of the most special things I've experienced a relationship that he took the initiative to nothing was wrong. It was just like, okay, I want to set aside a night for us. And we would pick a restaurant every Monday. I would have a cute outfit. You know, we would really look forward to it. And then we did go to a couple's therapy. We did, we went one. and they said, you guys have to bring that back. That was so important in your relationship. If you're trying to make this work and get back together, whatever it may be, like, that's so important. So we saw that from you guys across the board. Can't recommend enough.

Someone said Wednesday night dinner is where we try a new restaurant we've never been to. And we got submissions that they dress up for them. And I saw one that said once a month, we pick up our favorite food, have a picnic, smoke weed and tell stories. I love that. Like, these things are so important. Yes. And to me, it's the more enforceable version of like,

have a scheduled sex night. It's like, I'm not making a calendar invite to fuck my partner. I'm not doing it. Like, if I'm doing that, something's gone wrong. If that works for somebody else's relationship, great. I don't judge whatever makes you guys happy. I'm not in a long-term relationship, but that's how you keep your tenure of relationship alive.

Go off. If you have a yellow aura and you need to put it on the calendar. Yeah, but I respect people that just try to do these date nights, a girlfriend of ours because of COVID and people couldn't go out as much. Her and her boyfriend did, like, fancy Friday nights where, where she would just wear like a really hot dress and high heels and curl her hair. And I think that like because none of us are doing anything, I've worn, I've worn pants. I've worn jeans once since March.

Like none of us are wearing any of that stuff. So I think it's good to remember like just because I have this person, well, I mean, they can go away, you know? So just remind them that you're like this sexy person that wants to be sexy for them. Yeah. You know, you're not doing it for you. We should not go. Where are you going to go? Yeah.

So for sure. I just, I think that's so important. I mean, let's talk about kid free getaways too. you know, and we're going to continue to do more episodes on for us, not wanting kids. We're not blue ball on you guys with us. We swear it's coming. And also with some, like, cool moms we have on the schedule with like, I love that someone said making kid free getaways a priority.

We ship the kids off to the grandparents, you know, even just, just a weekend. Like, again, we're not telling you guys to go out and travel and fly around the world. Like, if you can do a weekend trip and just a hotel. Like, even in your town, the staycation, like, you've got to get away from your children. Not if they're babies and you're, you know. Whatever. When you're able to. When you're able to.

to send them to the grandparents or a trusted sitter. Like, put it on the calendar. Like, give yourself something to look forward to with your partner. Like, that's kind of what it is. You know, like, if I felt like I hadn't seen my ex in a little bit, at least I would know that date night was coming. I think that's part of it too. Knowing it's on the books is really important to a lot of people.

Absolutely. I think that, I mean, mentally, they say that, I mean, anything is obviously easier to deal with when you know that you're going to have a break from it. I mean, it's just easier when you have a date. Maybe now is when I'll talk about our relationship in this thing that we did. I don't know that you know that you know that we did this. But I mean, maybe you do.

So in terms of trips, you and I did this thing, and I thought, we've done it a couple times this summer. You know, you and I, like, we are, like, best friends and we're so close. We talk about everything. But we run a business together, and that takes presidents over a lot of things between us. So, like, a lot of our conversations are about work, what we need to get done, what we need to produce, who do we need to schedule, the merch, all this shit. And, like, I think that what's so special about this show is that, like, we are best friends and we, like, love each other so much.

And so it's good for me to remember that we're, like, not just business partners. like we're friends. And like that's what's like really special about our our dynamic, I think. And like this summer, obviously, everybody was stressed out with like COVID and you and I didn't see each other for so many months. And two different times you and I like gone to the car. I went to Dewey. So like one time for your birthday and another time that we can make some real estate decisions that you didn't follow through it. But it was nice to like just get in the car and listen to music and not talk about work. So for me like work is like our child. Yeah. And I felt like especially that second trip where we went down to make real estate decisions. that you didn't fall through with. It was like, we got in the car, we listened to, we just talked shit. We didn't talk about the business. We didn't talk about work. And it was just like really fun to remember that like, we're not just business partners making these decisions all the time, like, you know, parents.

And they, like, you're still friends. And they used to like each other. And you have this relationship outside of all these things. And I wanted to say that in front of Michaela, but I was like, this is going to sound weird in front of a stranger. But like, to me, like, our business is very much like our child. And it's good for me to remember that, like, at the base of it is that because we're best friends.

And that's why the business is so great. And I, like, respect you. love you. And to me, there was just like this really fun trip we took where we just like didn't do any work stuff. And like, I think that that's important that you like do that with your, not that you're my life partner, but like you do that without your kids. And remember that like the way that you created these kids is because you like fucking. Right. You know, the way that we created girls got to eat is because the day that we met, we just talked shit on our exes and we wanted to talk about relationships. And like that's how girls got to eat got created. That's how our child got created.

I just love that you said that because I felt like that too. Like it was just this really spontaneous fun weekend where we didn't talk about work. We didn't have to work. We didn't have to record anything. And then I also felt like that when we went to dinner, maybe a couple weeks ago, where for some random reason, we had a lot of shit to catch up on. And like, it was not work related. It wasn't. And we say work, like you compared it to someone having children, which is a great metaphor for what we're talking about. But obviously, we also know those are very different things. But just like anything that can really dominate your life. Like, if you're buying a home together, and that's all you've been talking about for the last three weeks, just go to dinner, go to

drinks and don't fucking talk about it. Like, talk about other stuff. Like, you and I had such a, like, bonding moment over dinner. I mean, there was, like, tears and all kinds of stuff. We just had a lot of shit to work through. But, like, I have to remember that, too. Not in, like, it's in a forceful way. But I, we both have to remember that what you just said of, like, we should have

friend time, too. Because we could literally spend all of our time talking about work decisions and stuff that has to do with work, the people we deal with, the merch, the shows, like, all that stuff. So it's sometimes you have to remember, like, why you've, entered into a relationship in the first place. That's what it is. Because, you know, through COVID, like, we didn't see each other for three and a half months,

you know? And you don't get any fun, cool time together. And, like, I just think it's important to, like, remind yourself that you're just people that love each other. And I felt like that too. So with COVID, the three months that we were apart, like, we really did talk about work all the time because why would I call you just to catch up?

I've been talking all fucking day about work to centers. Anyway, so I feel like one thing, remember the night, we FaceTimed you with the family. Like, we all just kind of, like, we were drinking, you were drinking. You were drinking and we just had this like family face time, like things like that are important, you know. So like go out to dinner with your partner or take a trip or do a staycation at a hotel and like put a moratorium on like talking about the kids or work or all this shit.

And just like remember why you like each other and like why you're together in the first place because unfortunately like all these things that bring us together like all these things, then you create children and then you know time for each other. So just try to remember that step. As often as possible, once a month do it. You know, whenever you can. Yeah. Can I run through a few more of these?

Yeah. A few things. Just take notes. If you're interested, if this speaks to you, we just love some of the things you guys said. Strip game night. Okay.

Connect 4, Uno. Fucking, strip Uno. Go off. Jenga. I schedule, strip Jenga. Also, you can do truth or dare Jenga when you write the truth. Like, whatever it is. Like, sexual favor, Jenga.

I love this one, obviously, more than anything. It says some girl, well, you got his hooked on cooking hella fresh together. And then this is a little sexy. We'll get into that category in a minute. But she says, cook in just an apron and tell him he isn't allowed to touch till the dinner is done. I'm turned on just hearing that.

Or like, I don't know. I don't know if I want my ass hanging out. I do. I want apron and like little boy shorts panties. I don't know that you want to walk in and my jiggly ass is just out. You know Amy Frazier, who was exactly a year ago on our show, she just got engaged. So congratulations to her. And then she posted this Instagram story of herself cooking bacon in the kitchen.

She had like a big top on, but like boy shorts. She's like making bacon with no pants on. And I was like, this is why you're engaged. Yes. Like this, and you know, like sometimes it's just a matter for both people in a relationship or however many people you have in your relationship, if you have a thruffle or whatever it is, making the effort when you don't, when you kind of think I don't really want to do it. Like, again, don't do anything you don't want to do.

You know, live your truth. But sometimes it's just a matter being like, this thing would be hot. I should just do it. Knowing, it's the same thing as working out. Do I really want to go ride the Peloton? No. Do I feel amazing five minutes into it and so amazing after it's over? Yes.

Like it's sometimes that thing where you're like, ugh, do I really want to put on something sexy and cook for him? Not really. I'd rather just be on the couch and watch TV and drink my bright cellars. But like you just sometimes just taking a second to put in the effort. Like the payoff is so great. I used to do this thing for my partner. And this is also me flipping like a negative into a positive and do something nice. So my ex who, one of my exes that I lived with, he was just like sleeping and used to like annoy me because we didn't have a lot of time together on the weekends in general.

And I was just past. He was like getting up like 11 because I was like, oh, it was like finite time. So instead of being pissed, every like Saturday and Sunday when he was sleep, Ben, I would like, because I love to cook. I, like, went to the store. I conceptualized, like, a fun breakfast I could make for him. And I just, like, did this nice thing for him. So when he woke up, there was food, it smelled good. There was something, like, somebody had done something nice for him that makes you both feel sexy like at sex time. I didn't have to spend my time being pissed off and he slept half the day because, like, I did a nice thing I enjoyed. And it was just like a way to make him feel special. And I loved it. A hundred percent. I mean, I've said before, like, my love language is coffee. I mean, aside from being right. But, like, that, that, when I'm dating somebody and he'll wake up and bring me coffee or he comes over with coffee. Like it goes such a long way. Like little things go such a long way. Walk their dog. That's a lot more.

And a few more things. We'll just go and then we'll move on to sex. I love that someone watch a love reality show, discuss things you love and hate about other relationships. That's amazing. Talking shit on other people really brings you close together. That's how we did. That's how we're friends. And love this.

Eat an edible and watch a comedy special. I love that. New comedy special coming out with a comedian you like. I mean, I don't do edibles. no judgment. They are, they ruin my life. So like if you're into smoking weed, like stuff like that I love. This one, the same thing kind of to schedule when an artist we like drops an album. We go get weed, smoke and listen to it in the car. That's a fun little ritual to do. And then the last one, you can speak on this too, because I know this is your truth, is dance parties. So we saw all kinds

of dance parties turning on your favorite 90s music, your oldies music, whatever it may be, twerk parties do a little twerkshop in the living room. Eden Grinchpan and her husband are dance icons. All they do is dance. All they do is dance up and down the Williamsburg Bridge, down the block. I've never seen anything like it. And you don't have to be that, you don't have to put on social media. Like that's their brand and I love them for it. And she's a person we've had on the podcast. I don't forget what the episode was called. When you know, you know, when you know, yeah, with Eden and her husband and perfect family. But just put on some music and dancing around is just like, loosens you up.

It gets you excited in a better headspace. Like, it's such a good thing to do. My favorite date nights I used to have with my accent, well, obviously it included charcuttery. So we would just like have chercruitery dinner. I mean, nothing makes me feel like more of an adult than just like housing a bunch of like mean cheese at the face for dinner and a bottle of wine.

Yeah. But we would always turn all the lights off in the house and like make like a sexy playlist and like slow dance in the kitchen. And I just, it's sexy like turns you on. It's like romantic. And you don't have to go anywhere for it. I probably was wearing like boy shorts and tank top.

And it just was like the most special sweet memory. And like I actually, when I think about our relationship, I always think about those moments because it just, we didn't have to do anything. You know, we were just in our home with the lights off dancing. And I mean, your truth is making playlist. So you, I'm sure, make a fire playlist. I mean, if you break up,

you'll never be to listen to those songs again for years. But, you know, I'm back. I'm thinking of Kate and Jay. Because so many, Jay doesn't dance. Don't get a twisted. This is my, this is one of my, Kate. This is my best friend, Kate. We have had so many dance parties.

her house where we're trying to learn real choreography. You know, like, we're trying to learn a real dance, a real Beyonce dance. And Jay would just like, watch. Like, I don't know if that turned him on or he was just making fun of us, low key. Like, but we would be like so wine drunk in the living room, just trying to learn a dance or like really just going wild. And Jay would just be there like sipping bourbon in the kitchen like these fucking bitches in my house.

But I think if you're up a TikTok dance with your partner. I'm sure they followed later that night. Anything with dancing should. turn you on. Like, I'm like, lucky Jay. His hot wife is just, like, grinding. Yes, anything with like, I mean, some people, I think, you know, your vibe is being like wild and crazy.

Learn a TikTok dance together. Yeah. And that's, I mean, I'm, I'm so huge on music. It's like my whole life. It's like the thing that changes my mood. I put so much time in a playlist. Like, I'm, music is so important to me. It might not be it for everybody.

But even just something simple of, like, getting a record player and you buy, Jay, did this for Kate. I think he bought her a record player and then bought her lemonade, Beyonce's lemonade on vinyl. Like the way vinyl sounds is just so cool anyway. Like having your partner's favorite music playing when they walk in, you know, I remember just growing up as a kid and my parents would have, always have Tom Petty or the, or Pat Benatar or the cars like on the record player and they were kind of dancing around cooking. Like not, they're not like grinding up on each other, but just like getting the energy going. Like music is such a huge part of like a happy home to me. I think so too. Anything you could do to like. Anything you can do to like.

like change up the rhythm of your life. I mean, no pun intended, but like, oh my God. I just think like any, like my brother and his wife always inspire me because they've been together for almost 10 years. And they're always doing these like fun and cool things. They do like, they make sushi together. Like it's like a fun date and night. They joined this like wine club where you like go to this place in Chicago. It's, it's in the West Loop. I forget what it's called. But, um, you just, you go taste new wines. And it's just like a different thing to do rather than going to like a sporting event or being fucked up at a bar. And like, I can't imagine it's like easy to keep the spark alive after 10 years. together, but like they always take trips. And like, my brother always make sure to like take trips alone or go out to dinner alone. Because I think they have this big group of friends and it's easy

to fall into this pattern of like, well, yeah, we're going to socialize once a week and it's going to be with other people, you know? And he really goes out of his way to make sure. And so they both do that like it's solo trips, it's solo dinners, it's time alone. And I think that that's like really special and important. Yeah, I love that. And I'm sure that they were into doing stuff like that early on. Because like, I can't stress this enough. Like if you never, it's never too late, but if you just kind of start your path as a couple with incorporating these new fun activities and these things, it's so much easier to uphold. All right.

Let's get into the sex talk. Can I just come right out of the gate? Because Rain and I kind of come. Can I come right out of the gate? We divide and conquer with these. And this, I took control this one. And I read all of your responses and I compiled them all into a dock. I don't know if you guys were kidding.

Like, I don't know if you guys were trying to make us laugh or you. I don't know. You always do. Yeah, you always do so much butt stuff. Like, I'm just going to read the butt stuff. Dildon his butt. Pugging, sticking various object in his butt, trying to touch his behole, no dice yet, lick their behole to keep things interesting.

And then someone wrote after six years, he licked my behole in the shower. So go off. But so, I mean, I think some people were just being funny. Like, I'm sure some people are like his girl's got to eat. Like, put a finger in his butt to spice it up. I would like to know what you think. Like, about butt stuff? Like, or just about like surprising somebody with something like that.

Yeah, like, do you think this is really what people are doing? And, like, they're like, our relationship is, is dull time to put a dildo in his butt. Like, are these bitches being serious? I don't think that your average person is like, and someone actually said this to us. She said, you know, like, how do I spice my relationship up? I'm not trying to, like, peg somebody. And I always just, like, talk shit on pegging. Like, I'm just mad.

I haven't done it yet. But I think that, like, in general, when people say, like, I want to spice up my sex life, they just want to do something a little bit different. I know that I've fallen into this rut in relationships where I sort of have, like, I talked about this Ian Kerner years ago. I sort of the same thing on the menu. Like I wake up in the morning, I give you a little blowjob, I get on top, I get off, I lay back on my bed, you finish, and then like that's it.

And I just, I feel like sex can become really monotonous. That's the Rainer Greenberg special. My Ashley Hellstein special, as we all know is you eat me out and leave. Tell her that her podcast is funny and then she was right. Tell me I'm funny, tell me I'm pretty, eat me out, go. He was cute, and then Uber and then you leave. I just think it becomes very easy. And I think that like rather than going down like the black diamond,

hill of like fucking your man in the ass with a giant dildo. Like there's other smaller things you can do. And I think that when people are saying like, you know, they want to spice your sex life up, what they're saying is like, surprise me. Do something a little different. I think that there's like tiny little ways you can do that. Obviously check out Dipsy. But I think that people are like, I don't know how to like suddenly start doing this.

I've never done it. And like I think that somebody is like afraid to send a dirty text or send a dirty pick when you've never done it. That's exactly when you should do it. If it is going to like shock this shit out of your partner and they're like, whoa, what just happened? It's like, yeah, what just happened is you reminded your partner that your dick still gets hard for them. Mm-hmm. Or if you're a female, that your clit still gets hard for them.

Your clit still gets hard. You still get wet? How about that? Yeah. You still got a wop for them. But yeah. And it's just like, little tiny things. Yeah.

And start sexting early, you know, the second, the morning we say it again, the know how it takes here. We'll just keep reiterating stuff till the day the podcast ends. But like, the first time you have an amazing sex experience with a new partner, like hit them with that text next I can't stop thinking about last night. Start this shit early so you can evolve it as it goes on. Because if you've never sent a sexy pick, you've never sexted, and then you find yourself a year into a relationship, it's going to be hard to do.

It's going to be challenging. So you have it. You take it to the next level when you need to. Like you just keep up in the stakes. Like do the bourgeois shoot, get those professional photos, hide them all around the house, can't recommend it enough.

In Atlanta, like all my girlfriends have used her. I'm still dying to work with her. it's called own boudoir ow n look at that instagram but it's so hot yeah and like boojoir photos can't recommend enough you could text them to your partners about the day but like again like printing them out and then they'll give you printouts like putting them around the house like getting your partner turned on and stuff like that is this a great way to do it i love that also i was sort of thinking these other like crazy outlandish sex things like i don't know you dress your whole body in leather and rubber

or whatever those aren't to me like sustainable ways to keep a sex life like spicy it's like all right like if i've dressed up in bondage gear. Like where do we go from here? Like now we're doing this every time. Like to me it's like good to start just building healthy habits. And to me like yeah, the sexy Boudoir thing is like a one time thing that I love. But like any kind of like smaller healthier habits, sexier habits you can build in and sending somebody like a dirty pick or a dirty text in the middle of the day or maybe

they're a church with their parents. You know, that's my favorite. Just any way to just like slowly build this stuff in. Like we talked about before like, you know, when you go out to dinner and have this like sexy date nights, yeah, that that makes sure. you want to come harder with somebody. I guess, but stuff, like, maybe try a new hole. Whatever.

And you don't have to go so hard at the beginning with costumes and stuff. Like, we've talked about this before, any teeny thing that you can mix up, anything. I said this before very early on, maybe with Ian or maybe it was with Jared. Like, I just remember we were like in the old studio where I was like the first time I wore boy shorts, my boyfriend at the time, like freaked out because he'd just never seen me in boy shorts. Like, guys are simple when it comes that stuff. Something they've never seen on you before.

You don't have to go full sexy nurse and role play. Like wig, you don't have to do all that. You can do that. We'll get to that. But like just one thing, you know, that just one item, like do the lingerie on a special occasion or like just pick and choose. Like you can do small, simple things here and there. So you work up to the big things and you do the whole big extravagant, whatever it may

be on a special occasion or randomly. But you don't have to go so hard at the beginning. It's hard to keep up. It is. And I think that like, I think a lot of people are waiting for someone else to initiate sex because you're like, I want to feel sexy and I want to feel desired. But I think that like a lot of people just stop initiating sex. They're like, they want to feel desires.

They want you to initiate the sex. And it doesn't feel sexy to be like, okay, well, let's have sex now. You can't just like walk into a kitchen and start sucking somebody's dick. So like I would initiate sex. I mean, I would, but not everybody would. I think there's other ways to initiate sex. I think massages are the perfect way to do that. Like just like make it a little sexy.

If you guys are watching TV together, like rub somebody's back, rub somebody's leg. They'll get hard. They will. And then just start sucking their dick. Like, I just, I wouldn't just, like, rip somebody's pants down necessarily,

if that's not your vibe. But, like, find new ways to initiate sex. And I think that that's, like, really fun. Like, you be the person to do it. Don't just always wait for somebody else to do it. Yes, absolutely.

Speaking of dick sucking, we got people that said blow jobs are honestly the secret. Never stop blowing your man. Surprise blow jobs. Listen, this goes both ways. If you're in a male-female relationship, your man shouldn't stop going down on you ever.

But keep sucking his dick. man. And this is coming from something to die. I don't love sucking dick, but like, you got to keep giving blow jobs because you, this is this narrative of like the blow jobs stop when you get married and stuff like that. Just not every day, not every week, but don't stop the blow jobs. I love give, listen, guys, I wish I could explain. Okay, hear me out. I just think that like, you don't like it because you're not good at it, but you'll get good at it by trying. And then I promise the more you do it, the better you will be. And the more you'll enjoy it, the more moaning and crazier you can slip a finger. You can work the balls into it, spit on it, get real sloppy.

Like, do that grapefruit blowjob or whatever. Blow jobs are the best. Yeah. And get excited about getting good at it. You know what I mean? Like, we know you bitches. You are independent, bad bitches. You love a challenge. Start reading articles. This girl right here. I'll read this. She said, my boyfriend read a GQ article on eating a girl out and it changed our relationship. Like, read the articles. Like, this is the stuff we talked about with Shan. Go back and listen to Shan's episode. dominating in sex and dating with shambram. Like, learn a new skill.

Try it on your partner. How lucky are you to have a partner to try that out on? I haven't been able to have someone eat me outside ways in months. I've been wanting this. Okay, this I love sex somewhere new once a month in public, etc. I love fucking in a bar bathroom. I love it. I can't get enough of it.

I masturbate all the time to it. Just somebody just like sneaking into a bathroom and bending me over and just fucking me in that bathroom. I love it. Somewhere new. I love that. Listen, is it your own kitchen island?

Great. Just newness. It doesn't have to be. Not everybody wants to fuck in public. That's totally fine. Somewhere else. Are you at a party at someone's house? Fuck it. They go ruin one of their bedrooms. Yes. Or their laundry room. Whatever. Okay. Send him random fuck-sash calendar invites. Love this. Love this. If you guys are really into like work and organization invites. I'll send them for you. What is the year man got calendar invites from me? Guys, I can't do calendar In my train. Ashley also made me, Ashley,

I had to do a new folder in our Google drive this morning. She's like, keep me organized. Okay. Weekend hotel stays, hotel rooms, hot nasty sex,

even after years together. Nothing gets my juices flow and more. Listen, guys, live your safe. You live your safest life. It's a pandemic. Hotels are super cheap right now. Listen,

I can't recommend the Hilton in Cleveland enough. Is it? No. No. The Eurostar Magnificent Island, Chicago. In Chicago. No what I love in hotels.

Find a sexy hotel. Florida ceiling windows you can fuck in front of. Yeah, I don't let somebody watch. I don't care. If you don't feel comfortable going to hotel, then don't. Seriously, we're not trying to encourage you guys to do anything. You don't feel comfortable with. Rain and I have been to a number of hotels.

We've done a few trips lately for shows. Hotels are really safe. So good, I mean, known hotel brands. Don't go stay in like a shitty motel. But like in your city, in your town, find that hotel. They're taking all the safety precautions. Book a cheap night and go fuck your partner there. If you feel safe, don't come for me.

If you feel safe. Hotels are, it's one of, Google it. They're pretty low in the risk list. And like, you get them for cheap. If you're in Chicago, the Euro, yes, Eurostar, magnificent mile, splurge for the panoramic corner room. That's what I do. It's fucking hundred bucks.

It's $113. Yes, $113. It's, why do I know that? Thank us later. They have wine in the room. You just pull the wine bottle. That hotel. The amount of times I've stayed at that hotel and fucked in that hotel is crazy.

Yes. There's just wine on the walls. Hotel set. Like, you can disrespect. If you are with somebody and you have been having sex, like, or not having sex, and you've just been with this person in your home, your shared home, whatever it is for this many months now, like, treat yourself. If you feel comfortable.

If you feel comfortable. You can't say it enough. I honestly, I can't, I can't reckon I'm fucking in front of windows enough, but I'm a little bit of a voyeur like that. Okay. We're just going to run through a couple more of these just to give you guys, go to, suggest a road trip and surprise him with Roadhead. Suggest a trip to the grocery store.

suck his dick. I don't know. Do you do Roadhead? Yeah, I mean, it feels a little and yeah, I'll suck a dick anywhere. Raina Greenberg, don't have me. I'll suck a dick anywhere. I have done it. I don't love it. You know, I also masturbate in the car on long car trips as well. That's different. But that's me. But I mean, I can have an orgasm while driving.

It's just a tough with guys because like, messy. So like, so you've got to be ready to swallow. For sure, for sure. Um, read an erotic book together. I love that. And she's like, it's just different than like porn. Like, not everybody wants to like flip on porn. Married for six years together for a vacation anal. All holes go on vacation. I like the idea of doing something new on vacation. I love that episode of Insecure. Before they left, this was the most

recent season, Molly and Asian Bay. They talked about before they left to bring something you want to get into on the trip, which I love that. And he brought a toy or something. She brought the lingerie and the blindfold and he like ate her ass for the first time. So I love that if you're going on a trip. Even if it's like you're going to like again, like whatever this is, we want this episode to be during the pandemic and post. You know, we want to be evergreen content. So let's see you're going to a wedding.

You're going to a friend's wedding. Like we're going to someone's wedding this weekend. Pack something you want to fuck around with. Here's what I suggest. First of all, Loub. I think Loub is like a nice, easy gateway into the sex toy world that like not a lot of people try it first. I like Lou, but makes things really fun.

I would also say, if you're not really sure how to get an anal play, we talked about this with B in June, just like a tiny little baby vibrator you can just like touch somebody's asshole with. If you don't want to stick your finger up, somebody's ass, fine. You know, just take a little vibrator. People go crazy for it. What better place to try it in a hotel room where you don't have to clean up? Right.

Okay, he loves sports and I really don't care about them, but now we bet on the game and the winner gets to choose a sexual favor. I love this. Love this. Because then you're all juiced up during the game. game for who's going to win. You're both really so interesting. Because I dated somebody that was obsessed with sports.

Like we should have been doing this this whole time. Clemson wins. You eat my pussy and leave. And we can couple this with a great other naked Sundays. If you guys are into NFL, do naked Sundays, bet on the game. Naked Sundays. A lot of people said naked Sundays. A lot of the day.

Tuesdays, fuck it as a pandemic. Where are you guys going? We talk every Friday when we get home from work to start the weekend. I love this. It's so good. It's so good. like you've had a stressful week. Like you get home.

You know you're going to like that's how you start the motherfucking weekend. Before dinner Friday night. Like pour a drink and you fuck every Friday night. Go off. Every Friday. I mean, obviously every day is Friday. So, you know,

whatever day you guys want Friday to be. Not a hot take, but sexy lingerie. It's not a hot take. But again, I think this is just like one thing that people are just like, we live together. He knows what I look like naked.

It's like, no. Put something on a surprise to your partner. I was dating this guy. And it wasn't. We weren't super far into it, but we came home after like a date night and we were obviously going to fuck, but I was like, listen, go watch TV for a few minutes. I'll be right back.

And I ran into my bedroom and just like put on lingerie and walked out in it. He lost his damn mind. First of all, it takes forever to get into that stuff when you're drunk. So just think about it ahead of time, plan it. But just remind your partner, like how sexy of a couple you both are. Yes. And if you, again, if you don't feel comfortable at this point in your relationship or in general, doing a whole production where you exit the.

room wearing lingerie, get a pair of black lace boy shorts or panties, wear a little tank top, no bra, let your nipple show, and just walk around, be casual. Like, they'll freak out. They're so simple. Right, but it's like, you know, you're being sex and you're like, oh, man. Yeah, but you just to be like, whatever, I'm just making bacon. And then your man's like, God damn, this woman, I love her, you know? You just, men are simple, but they want to be surprised. They want you to shock them. too, though. Absolutely. People.

Absolutely. And I just like, I just can't hammer this home enough. Like, you don't have to be up in someone's butthole. Okay. Listen, do it if you want to, but I think the people are, I think this idea of like spicing it up in the bedroom, like doesn't have to be as intimidating and crazy. Like, maybe your partner's out of town and like try FaceTime sex for the first time. I know that, again, that is like a little outside of people's comfort zone.

So, like, build to it. I would start with like sexy text and sexy picks first. But like even some kind of like, you know what I love? And a girlfriend of mine does this because her boyfriend travels a lot is she'll drop like little sex toys for him to use into his luggage. So like she'll just give him like lube to masturbate with. Oh, I love that. And that like that egg.

The egg is where I heard about it because she would drop those eggs. We talked about so, yeah. So the egg is a sex toy for a dude that's really affordable. And you can go probably to Babe Land. We talked about on our episode with Babe Land. But just it's called the egg. I think it's like 10 bucks. something, drop that in a suitcase.

Is he going to be able to figure it out? Guys are so stupid. Maybe put it in there with a note and a how-to. Yeah, a little tutorial. Instruction. A link to a YouTube video. Just like, I mean, men, just, there's simple. Many and women, they're simple. Just, you know, surprise people and try something new. Okay, we've beaten this to death.

Okay. Try these things. All right. We also got just like a bunch of miscellaneous, thoughtful stuff that I think can go in a lot of different categories. My favorite thing that my ex used to do all the time for me was he would write me notes. And it's so important. I always used to say, like, why is our relationship

feels so good? And, like, we just were so kind to each other and we broke up, and, but... He just told me constantly, like, that I looked beautiful, or I was the best cook in the world, and then I would, like, changed his whole life again. And then he left me. But he, a bunch of different times, like,

would go get a photo of us developed and would, like, write me a note on the back of the... I love it. Of the photo and leave it for me. And just these, like, little notes or letters. and sort of in tune of what you said earlier about like the first text. Like he would sleep later than me until I would go to work and he would send me like a good morning love of my life message.

Like just remind people that like they're special to you. They're sexy. You care about them. I mean, he was like so ridiculous about it. But yeah, that's all. I think that notes are a really special, nice thing to do. And if you can pair it with like a photo or something for no reason at all, that's great. Cook somebody a meal for no reason at all.

Come home with flowers for no reason at all. Yeah. I really, I love no reason flowers. We got a lot of this. Letters, post-it notes. There's so many cute little funny post-it, like, post-it, like, not just like a regular yellow post-it note. Like, there's funny little post-its you can buy, like, on Etsy and just wherever that,

like, say funny stuff, like on them are, like, at the top, like, is a header. And then you can just write a little post-it, stick it wherever. Little thoughtful gifts, again, like, this isn't like big extravagant gifts, but thoughtful gifts. The nudes. We mentioned the boudoir photos and putting them in random places. And then someone said this, I love this, send them Polaroids in the mail or like nudes in the mail. Like that's so hot.

Like if you, especially if you're long distance, geez, like this is, that's what you do. Like, I mean, I guess. I don't know. Maybe is it. Even if you live together, I would do that. If the male man finds it. But I think it'd be funny and awesome if you live together and your male and your man stuff. And they're like, you could have just left this in the bed.

No. Mailed out. I'm trying to keep it sexy. Yeah. So stuff like that, like it's just so thoughtful. And relationships take effort and work forever. you know, and if you don't want to do it, don't be in a relationship. I'm not out of what you're saying.

I want to do all this stuff. We'll see. I'm undecided. But, like, it's nice. And I think that we can all become more thoughtful. I think some people are innately thoughtful. I think my brother's fiancee is insanely thoughtful all the time. Her brain works in a different way.

Like, in terms of she keeps, she knows what the people close to are doing. She's the first person to text. Like, hope you have a good show or hope you have a good trip. Like, the gifts, she's given. I mean, it's, it's out of control. It's, that's who she is as a person. in. Some people are not innately like that, but you can become more thoughtful and it's just

an effort thing. I think so much of this is don't, like, I feel like everybody's like wearing this sign in a relationship that says, like, don't take me for granted. And no one wants to feel like anybody feels like they got you locked down and they don't have to try at all. That the plans are over, the sexy time's over, the dressing up, looking nice, brushing your teeth wearing cologne, it's over. I mean, I'll brush your teeth, guys.

Okay, break up with somebody if they don't brush their teeth. Yeah. But I just don't think that anybody wants to feel like it's locked. up and done. And I love that you said that like it's always work. It's never not work. Like it's a privilege to be in a relationship to have a partner, to have like a rock to sit with you through the good and the bad times. And you know, I just don't ever want to take somebody for granted. I don't ever feel like I'm being taken for granted. And that's why people cheat. That's why they have emotional affairs. That's why all these things happen. And it's not easy. It's work every day.

Yeah. And just take note. Like if someone says they love this thing, like tuck it away. Like I gave this example before. I love this cake place in Atlanta, a piece of cake. You're welcome for the free ad again. And my ex would get me cake for birthdays and stuff, but also for no reason. Like I would come home and there would be a piece of cake. Like that's $5. You know what I mean? And he drove by the place on the way from work or whatever it is. Like if you have a job where you have an assistant and someone's doing shit for you and you're not like kind of taking advantage to that, like I just can picture a scenario in which a person, that has, like, let's just say a man, because, like, I don't know about sending men flowers,

but, like, if there's a guy and he has a secretary and his assistant, like, why isn't he just being, like, Janine, send my girlfriend flowers, like, today? Or, you know what I mean? Like, every six months, like, every quarter, like, we fucking love this shit. Like, it's, it's not that hard, you know? Like, I always quote the breakup that Jennifer Aniston when she says, every girl likes flowers, Gary. Like, we do. And if you want to do it for your man, like, listen, it doesn't be some elaborate gift. If somebody says, like, I'm having a bad day, postmates a piece of chocolate cake over to wherever they are.

I would lose my mind if somebody did something. I mean, I don't really like sweets, but, I mean, you know, something else. Somebody sent soup. If someone said soup, I would lose my shit. Even Campbell's soup, I would lose my mind. Like, I'd just think about what it would meet. If a guy, like, if it's a third, fourth date, or six date, like, we're newly dating. And he just shows up with a bag of Doritos.

Oh, that was a dollar. You walked by the bodega on the way here. And now you're going to get a blow job tonight. Absolutely. Right. Get a snack pack. 50 cents. Last summer.

No, you love Doritos. Thank you. Trevor takes no money at all. Yeah. It gets me all juiced up. Last summer I was dating that guy in Denver and you and I were going to Denver and he wrote us that Excel spreadsheet of like all the cool stuff we could do in Denver. Yeah.

And it was so thoughtful. And I fucked him four times a night we got there. It was just, yeah. It was this tiny little thing. He's like, I live in the city. I know this cool stuff to do. I want you and Ashley to have a good trip. And I fucked him so many times for that.

Oh, but that was really great when he did that. And yeah, he did like one nice thing. Yeah. And then we, you know, then I cried in a bar with him in front of you. It's fine. You guys were both crying. It was so fun. It brought me and his friend together.

We fucked that night too. Okay. Do we talk enough about this? We really don't talk enough about this. No. Oh, have we talked about it? Remember if we talked about it. I was dating this guy.

I had like gone to Denver with you. We'd shows. he did something, he was like really disappointing. And I was like very upset. And then we, we're out with him and his roommate. Well,

I was with his friend, roommate. Right. But we, we separated. Right. Because I refused. I was just going to go home.

I was so pissed at everyone. All right. Let's get into it. So we, we separated. And there was like these two, these guys were young. They took us to these like stupid touristy spots.

When you guys saw that we were there, you were pissed. Like our listeners. Our listeners are like, how dare they take you there. Whatever. There was a team. So we knew you guys.

We were young. We know. We knew you guys were going to this rooftop bar, so we didn't want to go there too, but then we went to another one that was bad. Remember? I think we talked about this podcast. They didn't have the right music. They didn't have the right vibe.

They weren't even bringing us menus forever. The menu, once we found out of the menu was shit, whatever. So we walk across to the bar where you guys were. Or we thought that you were there. We suspected. We didn't go there first because we didn't want to be like, hey, it's us too. We're just going to sit across. So we walked in.

I don't think I knew you were there, right? Yeah. So we were. I first. We walked it. I was like, oh, my God, there's Raina and your best friend. And we approached their table. Raina is crying.

And broad daylight guys. It was not dark. The sun was setting. It was not dark. Okay. It wasn't dark. It was not dark. It was still some light.

And also, I mean, there's lamps. So Raina's crying. And the guy looked upset. And so we were like, oh, God, what did we walk into? go and sit all the way across the rooftop. And we couldn't not address it. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, Rayna was crying.

And I'm just going to give this guy a fake name for a fact. And he was like, I think Danny was too. And we lost it. We laughed. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I use the word name Danny, but the fact that he was like,

I think my friend was crying too. Like, we lost it. We were like, we bonded. We fucked that night. It was so weird You were both crying In public In public

Like at like We were like next like The baseball stadium Like it's a weird place to cry You're just like in a big outdoor bar The relationship was like also too new To be like crying about stuff It was it was funny

Anyways All right We've heard off topic Let's move on I want to talk about These are all the miscellaneous ones That we love I love this so much

You guys love to prank And scare your partner So someone's hiding behind the kitchen island, scaring him, scaring him while he's naked, getting out of the shower. We prank each other. I try to genuinely scare him at least once a week. I would not like this. It's so funny to me.

You would love it. It's so funny, like what gets other people excited. I just think it's so. If somebody jumped out of out from behind our kitchen island, I'd be like, I'm calling my friend and I'm going out. Fuck you, when are we 12? I love it. If you did Ashley scare her.

I love couples to scare each other. Okay. I love this girl. Sometimes you got to pick a fight to keep things spicy. Yeah. So there was a lot of these. There was? Yeah.

And I don't, you know, I'd say it in jest. I don't really think that's such a healthy habit. I think we can joke about it. And we've done it. I've done it. But like there was a lot of these of like I call him a different guy's name. Just, you know, like there was a, they seemed a little immature and petty. I don't think that's how.

I think a lot of more joking too. But like I think it's dangerous because it's viral. It's viral. And you've all been those situations. where you're like, how did we get here? Where I think it can be fun is like, we've talked about healthy jealousy before. So like I'll just start being like, who the fuck was that? Who the fuck was that?

But I'm like laughing while I'm doing it. So I think that's like a healthier way to do it. Yeah, I love this one. Speaking of the breakup, she says she channels her inner Jennifer Aniston and walks around the house naked while he's on the phone. The breakup one of my favorite movies of all time. This leads us into another submission, which was verbally admire, cat call each other when one of us is naked no matter what.

habit. This is so important. Just acknowledging. Like, you shouldn't, your partner shouldn't walk by you naked and you don't even, like, just all you need to do is just a little cat call, a little something, a little tap on the ass. Like, show your partner that you're admiring them and you still find them sexy when they're butt-ass naked. Okay. I want to, I want to go back to the last thing you said about the being on the phone. I'm going to take this a step further. I used to really, I dated this guy. We got with this longest relationship. We always met in hotels a lot and like we'd have to like work. He would be on like work calls and I would just start sucking his dick. And a really fun game, I think, is trying to see how long they can stay on the call.

Oh my God. Without making it sound like they're getting their dick sucked. And it's like a fun game for everybody. Just make sure it's like just a normal call, not like a trying to close a huge deal. You're going to ruin each other's lives call. Maybe don't make their life better. I don't know. It depends on the call.

We like to pretend we don't know each other at a bar, lots of these. I think that can be really sexy. It's just like a really easy, fun way to role play. I'm, we don't have traditional sides of the beds and we six slides randomly. Don't do not. I would never do it. I saw a tweet one time that said,

this guy said, I know a couple that doesn't have a side of the bed. How is, how do you live such a chaotic life? Again, no shade, live your truth. That's what gets you going. The thought of it, I can't, I can't comprehend the thought of it. You don't have a side? It would make me feel crazy.

I need stuff in my own stand. It's, yeah, it is. It's too much of a mess. I'm recreated for his date. He cooks me breakfast every morning, shirtless. What? Okay. Just.

Every morning. Every morning he cooks you breakfast. She's sucking that good day. Yeah. I saw this one. I loved no phone nights. Like making sure your phones are put away for the night. Like work is done. You know, anything going on. Pick a night. No phones. I love this. We have a monthly check-in for our needs. Sometimes sexual, sometimes not. That's great. Sit down. See what's going on in the relationship. Temperature check. Totally. Can't stress this enough. Temperature check as much as possible.

Yes. Once a month, we ask each other something new. We've learned about each other. And yeah. And I just want to what you said, you kind of, you said it quickly. But the recreate your first date is something we talked about with. Shand? I can remember. I remember. No, no, Guy Winch. Your boyfriend. Damn. Great thing to do.

This feels a lot more long term. This feels like you've been together a very long time. I don't want to call it a Hail Mary, but it's, you can kind of only do it once. I mean, I guess you can start going into the archives and be like, let's create our second date. date. But like that first date, like, he said that as a more of like, maybe there's a little bit of struggle there and you've got to kind of just like do something big and you recreate.

at that first day, but I still love that advice. I'm glad that I'm glad someone brought that up again. The place I got engaged at where we had our first day closed and I'm happy that that happened. That's a sign. Yeah. Fuck that place. Oh my God. The place where I met my ex burned down. Good. It burned down. I'm sorry for anybody's lost their business. I like this one. We only see each other on the weekends. This is on purpose. I think it's good to remember, first of all, that nobody owes you their time. It's a privilege to have it and you shouldn't just expect to see somebody five nights a week. we're all individual people and we deserve our own time. And I mean, you know me, I love to be alone.

I like regenerate that way. And then I'm so excited to see people. But like people that suffocate me, I don't really enjoy it. And I need a little bit of time. I know it's like joke that I like people on top of me 24 hours a day. And I do sometimes. But I think you should just like not expect that somebody owes you their time all the time. Like take time off.

Do your own thing. Yes. And I think we get caught up in this like dating somebody and you're like, wait, we should hang out every night. No, you shouldn't. No, you shouldn't. I mean, if that's what you want to. to do, fine. And if you live together, of course, I get it. But I'm just like, what's the harm in taking time away? And then we had numerous answers, of course, that said distance and time apart

makes the heart grow fonder, take solo vacations. And then you come back and tell each other about them again, ties right back into everything we talked about with Michaela. And almost every expert, this is across the board. This is it. This is the advice, you know, live separate lives, come together, keep the passion alive forever. Have several lives. Except for Ashley and I, we spend every minute together. Okay. I need to end we need to add this episode so that I can go home and change that we can also spend tonight together. Oh my God. I'm sick of you. Just kidding.

Well, hope you guys enjoyed this. I hope there was some things. You might want to, you know, listen again, take some notes, jot things down. And thank you guys for all your submissions. This episode was about you and sourced by you. Yeah. Just remember if these things are normal. Everybody goes through this stuff. You guys are, you know, lucky to have a partner. If you don't feel lucky, break up with them. Yeah. Whatever. You do. And if you do it. And if you do, A tropical theme night.

Invite us. Sexy black coverup. Tag me. I want to see it. If you have to lie to someone at Bloomingdale's, it's fine. Live your truth. You're allowed to lie. We want to hear what you guys did if you have submitted.

Yes, let us know. Don't DM us, but email. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, we hope you guys enjoyed this bonus episode. I loved doing this. This is like such a fun cut up episode.

Yeah. Thank you guys for the inspo. And as always, you know where to find us. Girls Got Eat Podcast.com. new merch, new-ish merch, but you guys have been scooping it up. So keep doing so. Still plenty of time to get stuff in time for the holidays. Girls Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram, Ash Hess and reina.

dot Greenberg on Instagram, girls underscore got to eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash girls got to eat. And we'll see you Monday. Have a good rest of your week, guys. Bye.