Girls Gotta Eat - Like a Virgin feat. Sex & Dating Writer Candace Jalili

Episode Date: August 5, 2019

We have sex and dating writer Candice Jalili (Elite Daily, Cosmo, Time, etc.) in the house studio to discuss the "late blooming" topics we've been dying to deep dive on -- being a virgin in your twenties and never having a boyfriend. We chat about overcoming insecurities, knowing when to give it up, our virginity losing stories (ranked), and what it's like always being the single friend. Also, we catch up on life events (is Ashley moving?!), and play an extra ridiculous game of This Took a Turn. Hope you enjoy! Follow Candice on Instagram at @CandiceJalili and check her website for her work. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @OneHungryJew and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for tour dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Away: Go to awaytravel.com/gge and use promo code GGE to get $20 off a suitcase. Postmates: Download the app and use code GGE to get $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. Figs: Get 15% off your first order at wearfigs.com with code GGE at checkout. FabFitFun: Get $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.com with promo code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You gotta know you're just gonna lay there and take it the first time. Nobody's on top there. I was on top. The first time. I never told you this. Animal. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back.

I am refreshed. Oh. I am. I look cute. I feel good. I'm ready. Girl, go. First of all.

Rise and grind. Well, we want to talk about, we just got back, we got back from Canada. But let's just say what live shows we have coming up and what's available. Yeah. So, okay, so by the time this will come out, we will have just gotten back from Minneapolis. So it's not happening. Minneapolis is over. You guys were amazing, probably.

Just kidding. We know you are going to be. Watch something terrible happen. But anyway. Then starting on the 21st, we go to the Midwest. Detroit is sold out. Cleveland has tickets left. What did I say?

You just didn't say a month. Oh, sorry. September 21st, Detroit is sold out. Then we go to Cleveland the next day. That is not sold out yet. Columbus is sold out the next night. And then finally, Pittsburgh on September 25th. It's a huge, gorgeous venue.

Pittsburgh is like a great hub for like hip-hop. We're going to have great dancers. That is a giant venue that is not sold out yet. And then we go to Charlotte, Atlanta and Charleston. Charlotte is about to be sold out. Yeah, like a couple tickets left. So if you're listening, check. And then Atlanta,

Lina sold out so quick. We may or may not do something else. I don't know. Don't quote us on that. We're going to see. We just didn't know what was going to sell out that quickly. I was looking at center stage, you know, just trying to stay humble here.

Sierra isn't sold out at center stage. Get out of here. Sierra isn't like, in like a few weeks or she's in September and it's not sold out. I was like, whoa. I am fully John before. So we're just really so flattered and honored and can't wait for that show. And it's going to be amazing. I'm not telling you what I'm, I mean, you'll find out eventually.

But what I'm booking. What I'm booking for the like the show opener, I don't tell me. Okay. And then Charleston, still have plenty of tickets left for Charleston, huge venue, Charleston Music Hall. So that's all in October. And obviously, stupid live shows. com. You can get your tickets. Yes. We just got back. We went to Toronto and Montreal. Canada.

People are so nice. I mean, I just loved Canada. It's clean. I know. It was great. I don't know if I love Air Canada, but. No, I'm going to go on record and say, fuck Air Canada. We were screaming fight in the airport. We were trying to check our bags and there was 12 people in front of us. I counted 12 people in the bag of check line. We were there fully for an hour in line. Yeah. That was great. I know. If our flight wasn't delayed two hours, we would have missed it. Got an actual screaming fight with somebody. I don't love when you fight people in the airport. You weren't even there. I know. You left my stuff. I got back and my bag was just sitting

in the middle of the airport and I was like, she got murdered. She wouldn't have left my stuff here. It was safe. I am a little crazy and irrational guys, but the fight that I got in the airport was not my fault and other people stuck up for me. So people are great. Toronto was beautiful. That show was so great. We opened with Spice Girl Drag Queens. Can't even believe it happened. Dreams coming true. So they did a medley of Spice Up Your Life.

I forget the song in the middle. It's like a slower one. If you want to be my lover? No, that ended with Wanna Be. I didn't know the middle song, actually. I knew it. I just can't remember the name of it right now. But if you guys want to follow them on Instagram and check them out all over Toronto,

it's Spice Queens live on Instagram. They're incredible. They're incredible. I mean, come on. Spice Girl Drag Queens? What? And you know, I'm like, weirdly attracted to drag queens. Yeah, I want to unpack that for a second.

I can't unpack it. I don't know what to tell you. No, I don't think it's weird. Like, when I dated this guy who was very into trans porn and I was like, oh my God, what is wrong with this person? And I started, because I was younger, I didn't know anything about it. Like, I don't, I'm going to back this up by saying, like, I started to look into it and I started to Google like, is there something, is he gay? And then I realized that trans porn is like one of the top categories of porn on the internet. Like, and just because, like, you're turned on by something doesn't mean you are that thing or there's anything wrong with you.

Yeah. Like, I don't know. I think it's cool to say that. I'm not really out, like, I'm not going home and masturbating. I don't know. But that's not, I'm not like really watching trans porn. And it's just I feel like I'm weirdly attracted to drag queens. Like in drag.

Like when these men are dressed as women, I don't know how to describe it. I'm not attracted to the man when he gets out of the drag. Like it's weird. It's because it's like this mix because they're still a dude, but they're this hot woman. I don't know how to describe it. It's very crazy. Like there's one of here. and there's the first time I noticed it, I went to this drag brunch here in New York,

and the drag queen is named Miss Ritzie Bits. She was, we tried to get her for the holiday show because she does the flips and stuff, but we had another amazing one that does like all the crazy flips and stuff, but Miss Ritze Bits. And I remember, I was just like, why am I like tinkling down there at this drag queen? Anyway, I know we're going to talk about this, but Toronto was incredible. That was such a highlight of the show. You guys were incredible. That was our biggest show yet at the Day and Fourth Music Hall. The crowd was amazing. and then we went to Montreal for the Just for Last Festival and obviously we can't say enough things about

enough great things about the festival. They're so wonderful. It was like all these comedians. We're all in the same hotel. It was like summer camp for comedians. It was the best week of my life. I stayed up till 6 in the morning, three nights in a row. I just want to, I am in bed at 10.30 normally. I really, no drugs, barely drank that much up all night long. Yeah. All my friends are like, you didn't do any drugs.

No, no drugs, just up until 6 in the morning. Because it was like we would go to like a midnight show. So then that ends at 1.30. and then there was an after party. One after party was Comedy Central. One was Netflix. And like there's their open bar. There's food.

I mean, it was the most fun I've ever had. I really, and we did cool stuff during the day. We had great food. I did not know Montreal was that French. It is French. Oh, it's the first language. It's so French. I just was like, they're going to accept me for my true croissant colors.

They're fancy. It feels fancy. It's France is fancy. But it's so close. I would rather be in Montreal or Paris. Girl, please. Bitch, please. I hate Paris.

Montreal all day. If you guys haven't listened to our episode about Paris, Ashley and I want to our first, our first international vacation together in Paris, and we could not talk enough shit on it. So go back and listen to that. Yes, it's called Let's Talk About Traveling. It was probably last March, March 2018, real early in the podcast, month two. And our friendship. And we were like, let's just say a few things.

20-minute intro. That was the start of probably long intros. We just couldn't stop. Couldn't stop. We actually wrote down all the restaurants we couldn't get into. I fucked a guy in London. It was a long episode. But they were great. Thanks for coming to our Canadian shows. Yeah. We can't meet to meet you. I want to give an update on the charity. We haven't really been talking about it. But a month ago on July 8th, we started our charity for immigrant families together, which is an incredible organization that is helping families reunite that were separated at the border. And they're doing a lot more. that's just kind of the mission. But we have raised almost $10,000 for them, which is so great. Thank you guys. Yeah. So thanks guys for donating. And this is going to be a last call. So I think it's like

$9,700 or something that we raised. We'll obviously give you guys final numbers with that, but we really would love to get to 10K. So I think we're going to shut it down the end of this week. That will be exactly a month. And we'd love to at least give them $10,000. We'd like to give them a million. And so last call for that, again, Girls Got Heat Podcast.com and click on charity and you'll see it there. And again, they're doing wonderful work. If you want to hear more about us talk about their mission and what was happening at the border, that was the July 8th episode.

But yeah, immigrant families together, they're really wonderful. And you can still donate for a few more days this week. Yeah, I'll put it on our Instagram story too. People can't quite be able to. Okay, before we go to the episode, I do want to talk about you looking for an apartment because this is very funny to me. I decided. like last week or no two days ago last night sorry last night yesterday at noon yeah i decided two nights

ago that i want to move i want to upgrade my life i am single childless in my 30s successful how long did it take you to find a building i 12 hours 30 20 minutes so i was wanting to move i just want to have a nice or apartment and i've lived i've lived here in this like abandoned building for like two and a half years. It was just like, I want to move. So I went on this cycle street easy and I see this building that I did not know existed. It is a block away.

I walked by it a million times. It is a brand new, beautiful, insanely luxurious building. And I was like, I live there now. And so when the next morning, I saw three units in the middle one, the first one, I was like, I don't, I'm not feeling it. It was the way it faced. I was like, it's going to be too loud. It was too small.

The second one I walked in, I almost started crying. I was like, I can feel it. I'm supposed to live here. I felt this before. Every place I've ever lived, I walk in and I know. I can, I can cite every start crying. Yeah. I like, I don't, I'm not like a crazy basket case, but I can feel it like this is where I'm supposed to live. I have to live here. I won't take no for an answer. And I felt that. And then they showed me another one after that that had like a terrorist. And I'm like, nope, I'm, I already decided. And so New York is crazy. If you, if you live here, you know, if you don't, you don't know,

maybe San Francisco is the only other city that's really this wild. But it's literally like a race to who can give them money fast enough. And so I, what I should have done is went and got a certified check from the bank and brought it back to them as like a good faith deposit. But instead, I went home and I filled out the application and got all my financial stuff that they needed. I should just give them the money because that makes them take it off, like they take the listing down. Like it's yours.

And then if they approve you or they don't. I go home. I'm getting all my financial stuff together. And I'm there like someone else wants already applied for this and they're trying to bring a check in. And I'm like, you got to be fucking kidding me. I run out the door. I am running to Bank of America.

Running. Bank of Mirror closes at six. It's like 5.15. And I don't even know if I can get a start if I check at this time. I'm literally running. I'm sweating. I'm so intense. And I said, please let me know if this other person brings in the check. So I know if I don't get it and I can like stop running and I don't have to go get a check from the bank. And I'm like refreshing my email. Refreshing my email. I was almost there. And I got the email that said, sorry, this other person just brought it in. I was like in the amazing race. And I literally just had to stop in the middle of the street and like turn around and go home. It was the worst feeling in the world. New York really. state is fucking crazy. Like when we say race, we really mean like 10 minutes. You're 10 minutes to get a chance. Yes. And like, or less. And I just was like, I can't believe this. Like I, I mean, I didn't cry. I was just like, oh, okay. I mean,

I'm a big like, what's meant to be will be. That's not where I'm supposed to live. I couldn't believe it. I was like, I can't believe this. I missed this apartment that I felt that I was supposed to live in 10 minutes. And so they really were really apologetic and they wanted to work with me. I was like, throw in Hail Mary's. I was like, I'll promote you guys on Instagram. Like, I was just like, I couldn't get over it. I'm like, maybe this guy's or girl, maybe this applicant's like application will fall through.

Maybe they won't get approved. I don't know. And so they have a few more units left in this building. It's a brand new building. So they're just trying to fill it. I'll be the first person to live there if I get this apartment. And I went back today and they showed me every single other one they have. There's like six empty units and they showed me all of them.

And I chose one. And it's pretty baller. It has a terrace. I'm super excited to have outdoor space. And now we wait. I handed over the check. I woke up first thing this morning. I went and got the check.

So I had it in my hand. And like, I walked around with this realtor for an hour and looked at every single thing. And then I was like, so I had the check on me. And like, do you think we could, they'll give me this?

And we'll see, guys. You're gonna, you're gonna hear next week. Like, I will, I will probably find out within the few hours. So I'm like,

recording this intro like so hopeful and just like, I can't not live there. I can't not live in that building. I can't, I have to live there. I like, feel it in my bones. Like last night at dinner,

I was with girlfriends and they were like, you seem distracted. I'm like, I am. I'm like trying to do this thing. It just has to happen. I just feel like I'm like with you on this ride. You only did this for 48 hours. And like I'm just like, I'm so triggered. First of all, it took you two days to find this apartment.

It took me six months to find my apartment. I started looking. I like through the winter time, I'm on the street and freezing cold, waiting to get into these places. I'm begging realtors. I cried at our agent's office because I lost one of the apartments. It was so humiliating. I had a nervous breakdown.

Most of January. all of February. It took me so long to get an apartment. It's all I talked about. I was like a broken record. People could stand being around me. Everybody's like, how are you? I'm like apartment, apartment. Apartment. You're like, I don't even want to talk to her anymore. It's just so crazy. You found an apartment in like 24 hours. I don't understand how it's happened. Life comes at you fast. It's crazy. I don't know. It's weird. I feel like that happens sometimes with me where I'm like, oh, all right, well, going to do this. And then you just, it just happened. I don't, I don't know. I'm going to be in a dark place if I don't get it. Because then it's like, I won't live there.

you know, and like, it's, I have to live there. I'm like that too, though. I love instant gratification. When I see something, I just want it. And I have a hard time letting go of things because I've very rarely ever found a problem. I couldn't fight my way through or argue my way through. And like, that's just not one that you can argue your way through. It is so frustrating.

But I do think it's just nice to be in an age where you've like worked your whole life and you've like amassed amount of money for yourself and you're like, I'm going to do this for me. A husband is not going to do this for me. My dad's not going to do this for me. Like, I'm going to do this for me. It's such a beautiful feeling to be in your 30s and be like, I've worked my whole life for this and I deserve this. And it's just, it's a really nice feeling.

It really feels so amazing. I'm like, I just, this is like where I want to live. And I can afford it. I did this on my own. And I will see. We'll see on Monday. Oh, my God. We'll see today.

I'm here on the roller coaster. You'll get an update next week. But anyway, thanks for being along for the ride, guys. Most importantly, it's down the street from my apartment. So our lives don't have to change. I can still get to you in. Seven minutes. You go. So Raina lives, Raina and my best guy friend Rob and our friend Merrill all live in the same corner. And I was like, please don't say this tree. And she goes, I can't believe you're inching just a little bit closer.

How is this happening? It's like a big city on earth. Just a little bit closer. Just had to get one block closer. I'm glad it shortens my walk here. Now I can walk here in the winter. Oh, we'll record in this apartment. Also, guys, the last episode that we record in this apartment will be a total emotional cry fest. because we started it here. Started from the table. Now we're on the couch. Started with one mic. Now we have two.

Yes. Four if we need it. You never know. Wow. Wow, we've four mics. Oh, my God. It's just, yeah. We just, we really,

we like built our career in this apartment. All right. It's too soon. Yeah, it's too soon. I can still be living here until fucking February. Let's hope not. It's like a walk in all over here.

What else is going on? Anything with you? It's been a rough couple weeks. I feel like I'm a broken record about how tired I am. We've been traveling a lot. and I'm excited to do our last two shows and go to Dewey Beach with you. We're going to Dewey. Get ready. Don't come there.

And then my little baby brother is turning 30 and I'm going to Chicago and then I can stop traveling for a while and I cannot wait. Maybe. Something else will pop up, I'm sure. Damn it. Don't nobody asked me to go anywhere. So anyways, yeah, that's it. Got a great episode for you guys today.

Oh, yeah. We are really excited. We have a writer. We know that you love sex dating relationship writers. We have one in the house with us today. with us and Dewey. She is the senior sex and dating writer actually for Elite Daily.

She is written for Cosmo, Tinder, time, and the cut to lots of experience. Please welcome to the house studio, Candice Jalili. Hello, this is my first podcast. I'm really excited. We're excited that you're here. We're trying to sound condescending like your first podcast.

Welcome. You know it's an episode about first, but I'm like, I like it. It's fine. You're so happy to have you here. We are. And we're going to talk about the first time you had sex. We're talking about the first relationship you got into.

That's where we, we've been getting a lot of emails lately from girls and say, I've never been in a relationship. What's wrong with me? I haven't had sex yet. What is wrong with me? And we were looking for the perfect person to sort of address these things. And you are great because you waited a little bit longer to do those things. But you also write about this for a living.

So we would just love to hear a little bit more about you. How old are you? Where are you from? What's your story? I'm 26. I'm from San Francisco. I went to Santa Clara University. Go Broncos. No one knows what the Broncos are.

It's a low-key ham horn. Not those Broncos, the different ones. Yeah, sorry, guys. I moved to New York right after college. That's when I started working for Elite Daily. That's about it. Not me. You came here and actually got a job.

I did, which was really exciting. Yeah. That did not happen for me, actually. Right. It was the opposite. Nobody would hire. amazing intern. So what do you like to write about? What's your expertise? Sex and

relationships, I feel like I'm better at the relationship stuff, but I really like writing about both. I just, so I intern at Cosmo, summer going into my senior year. Okay. And I just loved it. Like, I mean, I loved Cosmo in general, but what I loved most was

a sex and relationship thing, which I mean, I feel like that's Cosmo's main thing. Yeah. Even though I hadn't been in a relationship yet and had just recently lost my virginity. They were like, You seem great. You know nothing. You're going to write about this stuff now. It's so impressionable. What it's like if you can't do teach? You're like, I have that sex once. So I'm going to focus on. I can't be in a relationship. That's why I have a relationship podcast.

But yeah, no, I just felt like by not having a relationship, I had so much dating experience and like single girl experience. Yeah. That turned out to be really relatable because I was able to write it for early daily where lots of young people read that website. And it was just nice and it worked out. And I just think it's way more fun than writing about any other topic I could have. Yeah, obviously. We feel the same way. That's what we started at this podcast. Yeah. So, yeah, so we want to just like get right into it. Okay, great. This, I don't know where you want to start with sex or boyfriend dating. Well, I think it's really interesting that most sex and dating writers talk about how to be in a relationship and how to have sex. And you were sort of the opposite where you were like,

I want to talk to the people that haven't had those experiences yet. Oh, yeah. 100%. And so when you and I were talking, yeah, we can talk about the sex or the dating step first. But when you and I were talking, you were like, I developed all these other great skills and friendships and et cetera. You want to talk about the sex stuff first? The relationship stuff first. Wait, well, wait, which came first? Obviously the sex. So let's talk about let's talk about it. Okay. Yeah. Just feel free to like eat it. Okay. Here we go. Okay. We're talking about after your vagina. So, oh my God. Yeah. You know, I'm talking about. Prina. And now it's going to be my first. Not going down on a world.

We were talking about the mic, but that is, yeah. So that's what Candace said, night one. She was like, just feel free to eat it. Do you have oral sex before regular sex? Well, I did. You did. Like last week or in my regular life? Now I'm just trying to think if someone went down on me before I penetrated me.

Because do you remember the first time someone went down with you? You were like, what are you doing? I wish I did remember the first time somebody went down on me. I actually think I do remember. I think it was senior prom night. And it was the guy that I lost my virginity to, but like not for another month or so after that. And I remember him going down there and being like, I don't understand what's happening. And you were like me, neither. You don't know what to do with your hands or your mouth or what

noises to make. I was like, I guess that feels good. There wasn't a lot of information out there. I mean, we're older than you. I didn't know what was supposed to happen. I mean, I guess I knew could have an orgasm from that. All right. Candace, you share your experience. So you lost your virginity at what age? 20. Okay. You were a senior in college. About to be a senior.

Yeah, about to be a senior. She's the cancer. Her birthday is July 5th, guys. I'm a cancer and I was just saying... I can't believe that she's waiting this long to bring us up. I'm finally trying to come to terms with it, but I feel like... It's because we're the best. It's fine.

That's why people hate on us. Keep going. Anyway, I was definitely super insecure about it. Like, I felt like this is just this super weird thing about me. I felt like I was always over-explaining it. Like, I'd hook up with a boy and be like, like, like I'm a virgin, but like, I swear it's just like my choice. Like, it's not just because I'm like weird.

I don't want to have sex with me. You're very pretty. I'm sure a lot of people want to have sex with you. Well, now she's giving me Shoshana from girls vibes because that was her story. She was like a late bloomer, remember? And she would be like, but I want to have sex. I'm not, it's not because of religious. And she tried to have sex with that guy and you wouldn't do it.

Yeah. So did you, there's so many questions I have to ask you. What was your hookup status like before this? where you got like a late bloomer on like kissing a guy and like what was your story in like high school and up until this point. In high school, I didn't realize that I was going through an awkward phase at the time physically. I had a mullet and braces in high school. Oh my god, girl in high school. I mean, I thought that I looked like really hot. My friends had to break it to me when they're like confidence that you shouldn't have had. I like knew I had a mullet. I knew I had a mullet. But I was like,

It's fine because I'm like so cool. When we promote this episode, I'm only, I want a photo of you with the mullet and the braces. Oh, I'll totally give you one. Great. I had a mullet too. I was in second grade though. So it was, okay. You took it.

You really took it through. Thinking I'm going to get a mullet. I went to the hairdresser and said, I want really, I want short hair with really short layers, which is a mullet. Yeah. And I remember my best friend, Shannon. Shout out to Shannon. And my mom were both there and they were like, don't do this.

This is a huge mistake. And I didn't listen to them. And I had a mullet. And braces. So, like, boys didn't really like me that much. But I truly didn't notice that. Like, I have really supportive parents. I have great friends.

I really felt like I was hot. Right. But were your friends having sex? My friends weren't really having sex. Like, some of them were, but not that much. In high school. And high school, no. But they were like, you know, getting kissed and like doing that stuff.

Yeah. And I had already had my first, yeah, getting fingered. Eat it. Feel pretty just eat it. Do you remember, like, you would say like he went up my shirt? Yes. Yeah. No, I don't say that anymore because that's just like not even first base for me.

It's felt up for like six people a day. Anyway. You should talk to someone about that. All right. You should tell someone. You should tell someone. If you see something, say something. Some of your tithes say something.

Sorry, go ahead. Some of your friends were fucking somewhere. Yeah. And then by senior year, like braces came off. My friends felt comfortable telling me that I was really ugly for the past three years. Yeah, you didn't see it, but we did. Yeah, they had to tell me. Because I literally, I saw a picture of myself and I was like, you guys, like, oh my God,

this is such an awkward picture. And they were like, no, this is just what you look. like that I was like wait seriously I had no idea and they were like yeah we had a feeling you had no idea maybe your parents were a little too supportive yeah they were too supportive that's what happens guys when your parents really love you you just are out here like not getting late but you're like I'm great I don't know what these people don't see in me that is fully how I felt honestly still I feel like that a little bit good I mean I thought a great personality but yeah so I think that explains like some of it happening in high school, but then, you know, senior year I started like

hooking up with boys a little more college. I kept hooking up with boys and stuff like that. But the thing is, I hadn't had sex yet and it got to this weird, awkward point where I was like, okay, well, I've waited this long. I'm not just going to lose it on someone random. Yeah. I want it to be someone I like, but then I also don't want to be a virgin for the rest of my life. Like, it was really this stressful, like. Were you at points while you were being physical with somebody that you could have, you think? Yeah. Yeah, I know it would happen all the time. And I would just be like, like, I would just, in that moment, be like, I don't know, like, maybe for exclusive, maybe like, if you're, and I just, I had this huge fear that I would, like, have, I went to Catholic school,

so I think it was, like, kind of in the back of my mind that I would, like, have sex and just have my heart shattered as soon as that happened. And, I mean, that's not what happened. But I was really paranoid about that. Like I didn't want to like get attached to someone. I also felt like I was still to a certain extent am really big on the upper hand thing. And I was like as soon as I have sex with them, someone I'm hooking up with, they're going to have the upper hand. I like gave them. It's not just having sex with them. They took my virginity and they got to say that they did that. And that bothered me. I was like, I can't just let any guy say that. Which I don't know if it was like a good way to think or not. I think I maybe wasn't ready to when I was thinking that. So maybe

it was a good thing. We have to ask you, who was the lucky guy? So I met him out, like, the beginning of the summer when I was interning. He was super nice. I was like, actually hooking up with a few people or like talking to a few people. But I just, I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was like I had gotten to a point of like, I just giving less fucks. Yeah, I think it's kind of what it was. Like, I was like, I just don't care and I'm sick of being a virgin. Like, it's just annoying. Yep. Because that word is so annoying too. Like, it makes you, feel like I'm just this like lame prude because you have that title. And it doesn't sound like you are.

Like it sounds like you were hooking up with a bunch of guys. Oh yeah. I was hooking up with people all the time. And I was like, oh, but I'm a virgin, which automatically makes me those right. Which I am very anti that way of thinking. I don't think it's, I think that for me it would be more of like it's just going to get harder and harder to like guys are just going to be turned off by it. I'm not saying that's even true.

I'm saying, well, I mean, I know some guys that wouldn't. Some guys. But I'm just saying that was, that would be in my head. Yeah. Because, you know, would be this thing of like, I can't just keep waiting this all. I mean. Yeah, I think it was just, I don't know. It was like, I couldn't tell you fully what was going through my head at the time.

But I really do think that it was a combination of he seemed like a safe person to do it. He was really nice. And also, I knew I would like be going back to school. So like there was no possibility for a relationship or anything like that. As far as I was concerned, I wasn't going to like do long distance my senior year of college. Did he know you were a virgin? Did you make it clear? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I told him.

Which I had really gone back and forth on that, but I'm an oversharer in general. Like, I can't not. Yeah. So, not us for private. Super private. So I told him he was super nice about it. It was obviously like really awkward, like the semantics of it. But like, it was fine.

And then he was like really nice after. I think it was like the best case scenario of like we kept talking and stuff like that. But it was like just a natural fizzle out when we both went back to school. We were the same age. too. Okay. And I'm always curious about people that have this, I think a lot of girls have this mentality. A lot of people wait because they're religious or certain reasons, but I think

some girls just get to an age and they're like, I've waited this long. Why would I give it up to somebody like so unspecial? That's exactly what's going through my... Or you're the other way where you're like, I've waited too long and now I'll fuck it. Let's just get it over with. It was hard though because I was like trying to strike a balance of like, I didn't want to just

do it with some rando. But then I also just want, I was like, this is just getting annoying. And you've written, you said about like, virginity for Tinder and some other publications. So like do you find, are you any like statistics? Do you find that like other girls are like this? Like, what do people ask you about? I did this article for Tinder, honestly because I feel like I get asked about this all the time. And I feel like it was, I was thinking about a lot when that I'm blanking on his name, but that virgin bachelor. Colton. Colton.

Alleged virgin. Alleged virgin. Did he have sex on the show? Yeah. At the very end with Cassie. I think they said they. I think they did. Or whatever. Like, after the final rose, they made it clear they had sex. Right. So I was just like, people are freaking out over this guy being a virgin. I'm like, that doesn't, as someone who is a virgin, you're literally sitting there being like, I'm a freak of nature because this guy is clearly a freak of nature because everyone's advertising the fact that he's never had sex before and making it seem like it's the biggest

deal in the world. And so I started reaching out to people and I talked to all these different people who were virgins or lost their virginities in their 20s and things like that. and they feel this deep insecurity about it. So many of them were like, I'm so embarrassed to say anything about it. I'm so embarrassed to admit it to me, especially guys.

But like girls too are so, so, so embarrassed. And it's like, who cares? Like we're making this push against slut shaming, which I think is great. But like also, if someone doesn't have sex, whatever. Virginity shaming. We shouldn't be here doing that either. Yeah.

And so that's what the Tener article is about. And also I talked to this lady about even what is virginity. Like, everybody has different definition. Like, I had a, one of my college roommates told me that I wasn't technically a virgin because I had, like, slept in a bed with a boy or, like, hooked up a boy. Oh, geez. I'm like, that person sucks.

Sorry. Yeah. I mean, there's, I personally just, I lost my virginity at 18 right before I went off to college. I'm glad I just got it over with because I was, like, kind of worried. And it was my boyfriend, and it was this really beautiful experience. Like, I tell people that. And they're like, oh, fuck. you. We like literally watched the sunrise on the beach afterwards. And we were like, but it was my

boyfriend. But I remember a few times prior to that in high school where I definitely had like the opportunity with a guy that I was like kind of casually hooking up with. And I do remember this one guy like, we were at my parents' house and they were gone to bed and we were like kind of making it out on the couch and he tried to have sex with me. And I in this in my head, I was like, I kind of just want to get this over with because I, this was earlier senior year. I was like I'm, you know, 17. Most of my, almost all my friends had had sex. Even my younger friends. Like most of my friends, I feel like lost a virginity around that 15-16 age with their boyfriend, but we'll get to this. I didn't have boyfriends.

And so I just was like, should I just like do this just to the cross? And I'm so glad I didn't do it. Oh my God. I can't even imagine. I guess I was a little later than all my friends. I was like the dead last one. But I mean, now I feel like we talk to so many girls. And I do.

I hate that they have this insecurity about it. But I just, I don't know advice wise. I just, I think some of them are like, what should I do? First of all, I think everybody's, really different. I have friends who for them, it really was a big deal. Like, they, like, really did get attached to the guys who they, like, I didn't necessarily have that experience when I lost my virgin. But I also think that's because I waited until I felt like I was like emotionally at a place where I wouldn't be that hurt by it or attached by it. And I think, like, knowing yourself and

knowing how you're going to react to it, if you're the type of person who is going to be really attached, like, wait until you have someone that you trust with that or wait until you feel comfortable at that. And also not rushing yourself just because you're worried about that title. Right. Oh, so stupid. The last guy I had slept with, he lost his Virginia at like 22. My like main ex, like long term ex. I think he lost his Virginia at like 20, 21 like later in college. Like I think I know a lot of guys that are a little bit on the lit. I feel terrible for the guys. Yeah. But I don't know. They're great and they can fuck. Yeah. I just, it's weird because like I, I put myself in that age and I'm like, I guess you must have felt so much anxiety. I,

I also talked to two guys this week that both told me they lost Virginia at 22. And both of them said like, I was sort of like waiting for religious reasons. Then I realized it was kind of silly. And so I was going to wait until marriage, but I had both and lost it to their girlfriends. But in the grand scheme of things, like 20,

22 is really young. Yeah. And like one of the people that like told me he waited until 22, like that guy can fuck. Also, yeah, that's funny that you said that. Now I'm thinking about a friend of mine who I think he lost his Virginia at like 26, 27, because he was kind of caught up in the religious thing. And then I think he was like, this is stupid.

Not shaming anybody. If you went away from marriage, do you? I clearly never judge. But I think you see that a lot that people are waiting for that reason. And then they maybe go off to college and they get a little bit more woke or whatever it is. And then they're just like to, it's not that big a deal. Yeah. I got a lot of people like that for the article too who were saying that like.

Is that why they waited? Yeah. A lot of people who were waiting like still because of that or were originally waiting because of that. And then we're like kind of doing it. for religious reasons and kind of not. I got a lot of that. I think you have the best case scenario. I feel like if I'm talking to a girl that wants to have sex to check the box

but doesn't want to get her heart shattered, it's like this person that you really don't care about having as a boyfriend, but you feel comfortable with that you know is not going to hurt you. And I feel like you found all the right things. Yeah. For the to like, and did you guys just do it that once? We actually do it a few times. Was every one of them just terrible?

To me on. I'm asking you because like, I had sex and I was like, people like this? People write songs about this? I had that experience the first time. I was like, wait. Okay, right. So if anybody's listening to this and they haven't had sex yet, like, I mean, I don't think we have to say this.

I think you've read enough articles that Candace has probably written and whoever, whoever else. It's not going to be, mine was magical, but like it hurt because it was like a huge black dick. And it wasn't like fun. There wasn't anything fun about the first time. Like you can't, it was painful. Yeah.

And you can't get crazy. So you gotta know you're just gonna lay there and take it the first time. Nobody's on top. There's a movie quote. I was on top the first time. I never told you this? Animal.

I didn't want to. He was like, get up there and do it. No. What? What? Had he done it before? I never told you this? I was forced to do this.

I don't know. I mean, it's not a hazard. I had sex with that guy for like 10 years. I'm so sorry. I feel like it's also the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life. Oh my God. I mean, I said to somebody yesterday and she was like, yeah, that's because it was the first one.

And I was like, no. I was fully having sex for 10 years afterwards. And he is still to this day. I can, yes. It's like getting fucked by a two by four. It was enormous. I can still picture my exes that I lost in Virginia. I can still picture that dick.

The point is looking like an ant eater coming off. Like it was just so big. I can't believe that was the first one that went inside. It's crazy. The point is I, I, like, did it and I was like, people like this. This is so bad. Yeah. I hate this.

I fully. And I think I was like, I'm hooked up with people. Like, it'll be fine. Like, I'll know what to do. And then I did. I was like, wait. No, like this was not fun. Like, I didn't like it.

But luckily, pretty much all my friends had lost of virginity at that point. So they all were like, well, it's just the first time. It sucks. Okay. So back to what you were saying about, like, virginity. And we really just haven't talked about this that much. So I'm so glad that we are talking about it. And I like that we're like giving people.

advice for like what they should do. It sounds like you had like a really awesome experience. I think she's like, I don't want to say awesome. I was like, awesome. Awesome. Yeah. I had the awesome. Yeah, you had the awesome. I don't want to take that from you. If we're ranking stuff, I had the lowest enjoyable experience. Um, my one of my girlfriends lost her virginity in the backseat of a like van. Oh my God. Oh my God. In a parking lot. Wait, I'm so scared. Like a TGI Friday's. Oh my God. I hope she got a lot of pinoc on Valentine's Day. Did they go at least to Fridays and get apps? You know what?

Let me walk that back. They did go to Fridays for dinner. And then he took her to like Silver Lake, you know, like that area. I'm like a small town. I'm just saying it was like lookout point. Okay. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And then they had sex in his parents van. Oh my God. And she came over afterwards and, of course, I didn't have sex yet. How was she feeling about it? She was like, what the fuck? She was, I think we were sophomores. Yeah, we were sophomores. Yeah, we were sophomores. He was a senior.

And I mean, it was just so crazy when your best friend has sex. You're like, oh, my. God, tell me everything. And it is so anti-clamactic. It's really weird, too. As someone who watch, like, most of her best friends have sex before, it's weird when you're like, wait, we are like the same person. We're so close. How have you had an experience that I haven't had? Yeah. And that probably breeds the insecurity too, where you're like, why am I different than you? Exactly. And like, my friends were never like condescending about it or anything. But like, there was this feeling of like, wait, there's something. Like, can you guys teach me? Like,

what is this thing that you're all doing? I love what you said of just like you'd, and same with me. maybe Raina too. Like you've been in situations where you could have lost your virginity and you're like, this just isn't the right. And I think women's intuition is so strong and listen,

you'll know it's right and it's right. It doesn't have to be your boyfriend. It doesn't have to be a random. It can be somewhere in between. It can be whatever. But I think you'll know, I can't imagine a situation in which a woman,

a girl, doesn't know that this is a good thing to do. Like I think you will feel that. Yeah, no. I feel comfortable. I fully agree. I think that would probably be my best advice is just to go with your gut.

I went with my gut. That's literally what I did. I just couldn't explain it other than I just knew I wasn't ready and then I knew I was. Yeah. I knew I was ready because he asked 12 to 14 hours. And I was like, yeah, I was going to say yes. This guy sounds like a monster. And they need you get on top. He is literally terrifying. I probably had like an in-between type of experience.

Like it wasn't special and wonderful, but I wasn't like upset and beside myself. He wasn't the most important person in my life. We weren't in love. But he like was somebody I was dating. And I probably would feel a lot worse about it if we hadn't like on and off slept together for so many years after that. Right. Because it wasn't special in the moment. And it was disappointing.

And like, yeah, if I could do it all over again, wave the wand, I wouldn't have done it. I would have waited. And I just thought all my friends were having sex. I'm going to have sex. He asked a bunch of times, I guess we'll have sex. Yeah. Yeah. And just to wrap it up, whatever, if it's not a big deal.

You're 22, you're 25, whatever. It's so not a big deal. We're like guys, no plenty of girls as well. It's just like get out of your head about it. Also, sleeping around isn't such a prize either. All the sex I had until I was 25, none of it was good. Right, exactly. None of it was enjoyable.

All these one night stands and no orgasms. None of that was good. Yeah. And if you're a little bit older and you listen or listening to this podcast, you clearly heard us talk so much about sex toys and dildos. Like you can literally practice so you like know what it's going to feel like. That's not a gross thing to say. No, we had a friend tell us that she did that.

She was like, I took my own virginity. She was like, I caught my own cherry because I didn't want to, she was like scared she would like bleed. Yeah. So she like shoved something up there. another huge fear of mine. I forgot that I had that. But that's what I'm saying. Like, I don't know if this is like going too far, but I think if you're like, I'm 22, I don't know what it's like to be penetrated. I'm worried about it. I think I would feel more

comfortable sticking a dildo up there. Oh, interesting. I mean, I was so young. At least you're prepared for what this feels like. You can kind of almost practice. And then you're like an old pro when it's finally a real dick. I don't think it's crazy. I love this advice. Ashton's like, this advice I'm giving right here. I love this advice. Stick a dildo in yourself. I am crushing it. All right. Let's move on.

Well, let's talk about relationships. Speaking of dildos. So, yes, when you and I were, like, flashing out what to talk about in this episode. You said that you had waited quite a long time to have your first relationship, but I thought that was so interesting because the other thing we get a lot of emails about is like, I've never had a relationship. What is wrong with me? And it's like, nothing is wrong with you at all.

And so I'd love to hear your experience and like what you've found to be like quote unquote normal or the norm. But you never really dated anybody seriously to your 23. No. And I'm still with my first boyfriend at 23. Actually, I had one short-lived boyfriend in seventh grade. But other than that. So, okay. So he's, okay, so you lied to me.

Yeah, I'm so sorry. I came here on false pretenses. You probably done another podcast too. Did you do a podcast in seventh grade? I would never. She said, oh, I did do this podcast in middle school. Okay. So you were that part.

Look, you tell your story. Yeah, so I already mentioned to you guys my high school situation. Yeah, the mallet. Couldn't get what if you tried? No, I'm just kidding. Honestly, probably. But I still thought I was really hot. So I was just kind of like, eh.

Like, everybody was like, please don't do this. You're like doing it, did it. I just am dying thinking about you being like, oh my God, what a gross picture of me? And they're like, that's what you look like. Literally, they were like, I think now it's a safe time to tell you you looked like that. Oh my God. And like we still chose to be friends with you. Yeah.

But yeah, so didn't have a boyfriend in high school. I think I was much, I don't know what I was more insecure about. I think I was technically more insecure about being a virgin because I had a lot of friends. I still have friends who aren't in relationships yet. So I think I would look at that and be like, it's not. that weird. Like, I, friends with these people, I can vouch for their, like, sanity and normalcy. Yeah. I sort of felt that way, too. And I also had, like, as I said, guys that I was, like, seeing. And I think people don't count those as relationships, but they are. Like, you're

learning from those experiences. Like, even if you go on three dates with a guy who is kind of douchebag, that's still something, you know? I like where you're going to sit with it. It's where people say, what's wrong if I had never had a relationship? That doesn't mean that you haven't had a ton of sort of relationships and at least experiences, even if it wasn't like a serious long term in love relationship. Yeah, 100%. And I really kind of like not to shade anyone who's in a like a serial monogamist or whatever, but I think you miss out on a lot if you're in a relationship all the time. All the time. I really do. And like I just, especially in high school and college. I feel like those are such formative years of like getting to know yourself, trying to

figure out what you want in life, trying to figure out who you are and like what you're looking for, what you're not looking for, and just like developing friendships and close relationships with your family. And I just think because I didn't have a serious relationship, I was able to spend that time focusing on like making these really great friends who I still have today. And I think that relates to like now that I'm in my relationship, I feel so much more like I'm not scared of being single. I was single for so long and I was fine and I have great friends who will still be my friends whether or not I'm in a relationship.

Yeah. I can relate. Like I had dated, the first person I ever dated in high school, I was a sophomore, but even like middle school I didn't have boyfriends and stuff and I was like wildly insecure about it because like everybody else was having boyfriends and I was not cute. I was in such an awkward phase. I didn't get like decently attractive till high school. And so I dated this guy that was a senior when I was a sophomore but

were not boyfriend girlfriend, just for a few months. I'd had like little things on and off here and there. I was having experience, but I didn't have like a full-blown, like, this is my boyfriend until I was end of senior year. And then not really, again, much in college, again, dated, fucked a ton of people in college. But like, I can like count on one hand, literally the amount of people that I've been boyfriend, girlfriend with. And I am well into my 30s.

And so I was like so when I was younger, I was insecure about it. And I was always scared someone was going to bring it up. Or like, think I was weird because it's just this thing that you do, especially, I mean, I think just the culture has changed a little bit. we're like significantly older than you, but just like all my friends had boyfriends and they were doing these things. And I was like, I don't have this thing. Am I weird? But then I had so many girlfriends and like I still to this day, I'm like kind of shocked at the amount of girlfriends I have and the amount of like separate friend groups that I have that like I travel with that like I literally

call my best best friends like so many different friends all over the country. And I've never, we never even had a live show hardly that I had to haven't had friends in that city and the same with you. And so it's obviously brought us to where we are now. I'm so happy being single. But I just can kind of relate when we knew we knew that was your story and we were going to have you on. I was like, this is kind of my story too. I didn't fully even like fall in love for real, for real to I was 30 years old. Like it's just I haven't been the girlfriend girl. I've been the single girl forever. And I think it's brought me to where I am now in this like wonderful place in life and made so many life experiences and save so much money and made so many girlfriends along the way. But I think it gets in people's head this like I've never had a boyfriend. I'm like 23. or I've only had one or like what is how I'm literally not living the same life as my friends. Yeah. And I think that's always going to be a weird thing, especially when you have such close friends.

Like I was saying about the sex thing, it's like there's an experience that you're having that I haven't had and that always is going to feel weird. I think especially when like even on TV like all of your favorite characters are always have like boyfriends and things like that. And you're like watching that all the time. But I really just don't think it's at all any marker of your worth whether or not you have a boyfriend. You know? I'm not at all. Like literally who cares, first of all. And second, like statistically speaking, you're going to meet so many people.

Odds of them being your perfect match and you getting into a relationship with them are not that high of all the people in the universe. And I think a lot of the time, even if someone wants to date you and you didn't want to date them, I guarantee most people who aren't in relationships have had an experience where they could have dated someone and chose not. Absolutely. I feel like that too. My mom would always say you're too picky. I'm like, I'm just selective. I think that's a good thing.

Because I like being alone. Like not alone alone alone in like a cave, but like alone single, having fun with my girlfriends, like living my life. I could have had a boyfriend every day in my life if I really wanted to. I would have found somebody. I really think that is so true. It's a choice, I think. It's not because nobody's going to date you.

It's not like you're some hideous person. Exactly. And even if you are, there's someone that's equally hideous. Like it's just you, it's a choice, I think, deep down, whether you think it is or not. Yeah, I really think you can get to a place. where you, and I kind of feel like when you get to this point, it is kind of your fault. But I think it gets to a point where you've been rejected. And I've been there. Like, I think

most people who haven't been in a serious relationship in their 20s get there at some point. But I think you're like, okay, I've had X amount of experiences when I liked someone so much and like hoped that this would work out and it didn't. So then you start assuming like, oh, it's totally not going to work out. I'm just going to guard myself from it not working out. And like I'm going to start freaking out over like every little like he takes two hours to text me back. And I'm assuming like, oh, he's going to ghost me. I should just be ready for this to be over and things like that. Yeah, you manifested.

Yeah. And I think that mindset can kind of become like a self-fulfilling prophecy. What do you think, Raina? I don't even know if I know your full history. I mean, you're definitely, you haven't like always been this single girl like I have been. No. I had a boyfriend my whole senior year in high school. I had two boyfriends in college.

And I've had three to four, the fourth one sort of a. but three to four serious relationships since college. I lived with two people. I was with somebody for years after that. I don't know, but on and off, but I think that I've been off long enough to know exactly what you're saying, which is like, I'm fine being single. I have lots of friends.

Everything's going to be okay. I know that whether I'm in a relationship or not, I'll be all right and I feel good. I am not a serial dater. Like I've had long periods of time in between each relationship. This is the longest I've ever been single. Right. for a couple years.

But the last, like you were saying, like you could have been with people. The last relationship I was in, I loved him. He was a great person. I could have moved to D.C. and been with him and been relatively happy. And I didn't need to not be with that person.

And probably for him too, he could have been like, yeah, I guess I could stay with this person. But I would rather be single and be really happy than in a relationship with somebody that I'm lukewarm about. Yeah, I 100% agree.

And you just learn so much about yourself. You could be single. Like I just, I mean, whatever. Again, I just hate to, I don't ever want to shame anybody because I have good girlfriends that had a serious high school boyfriend, came to college, met their husband, his freshman year in college and are married with children. And they're wonderful and that's great. And they're not, then they're independent. You know, they're not these like incompetent wives. Yeah, I don't think like there's anything wrong with that necessarily.

I think you just get so much out of being single and like learning to do stuff in your own. Like I just, I think it's, I think it's always a bad move to go from like your parents. house to your husband's house. I don't know. I think you can learn so many things being on your own. Yeah. And I just, I hate the idea of like, oh, I'm single, so I'm so lonely and I'm alone in the world. And it's like, you're really not. Like, you have so many friends. You have so many other, like, ways to fulfill yourself. Having a boyfriend, especially for someone who hasn't had one. Like, how do you know having a boyfriend's going to make your, like, feel this? Well, right. That's a good point also. I look at a lot of other people's relationships and I think I don't want to be in your relationship.

I'd rather be in no relationship than your relationship. There's plenty of other relationships. I look at, I think they're wonderful and I'd be happy to be in them. Yeah. But I have a girlfriend, or I had a girlfriend, we are no longer friends. Her husband was great. They met when they were 16. She is 34 now, so they've been together most of their lives. And I always thought, like, would you rather have checked that box so early that you've

never had to think about it ever, that that box is just her husband's wonderful. They're a great couple. So early that you never had to think about it again, or would you rather have waited a long time and had all these other experiences? because she is somebody who like, and we're not friends anymore because I just, I thought that she was really incapable of pretty much doing anything without, like, on her own.

Yeah. She couldn't travel alone. She could make plans on her own. She didn't really seem to know how to have girlfriends even because she didn't have, get to have those times in her life for like, you build those friendships. Like you were saying you've all over the world, over the country. Yeah.

Like I think sometimes it stunts you. Yeah. I'm not obvious of her at all. I know you're talking about. I want to know how you met your boyfriend. We met at a bar. The sloppy tuna and Montauk. We know it.

We know it. You've been. So it was like my birthday week. And we had actually just stopped hooking up with someone who I had, I loved him. And he did not love me. I mean, not in like a, I mean, it was sad. But like it's just like a at the habit of everybody kind of thing. And I finally was just kind of over it.

It had been like two months of me like really being over this. and I was not looking for anything, which I feel like that's so cliche. That's what everybody says, but I really wasn't. And I was out, and he came up to me. I was wearing a bucket hat.

He asked how I got it. I said, I sucked 87 dicks for it. What? I don't know. It was just a joke that came to my mind. I did not expect that. I know.

It was proud. It was a weird. It just, it came out of my mouth. I said it. But I'm proud. And he was like, this is the girl

I want to put a ring on. And he literally, that day, like after, so I just made that joke to make fun of my other friend really in retro-trak. I was like, you think that's a lot of dicks, my friend Nora. Sucked 127. Yeah, and I just kind of thought, it was just a way to make fun of Nora. And so I left and was just making this joke about Nora and she was getting upset. And then, um, are you slut? You're like yelling it across the bar. They're like, she's like, I can't, we're not friends anymore. She's last time you and Nora hung out. She's really not a slut.

We hang out all the time. She's great now. She sucks all the time. He's at 187 now. What a slut. That Nora. I've heard about her on the streets. I'm just kidding. I call it a sloppy tuna.

Of course Nora was it sloppy tuna. The bar is actually named after Nora. I hope she listens to them. Sorry, Nora. Oh, man. So that happened. And I just left and he came up to my best friend from, I call everyone my best friend.

I'm so annoying. Every song is my favorite song. People get so, I do that too. So cancer a lot. As we guys have brought up being a cancer in 20 minutes. So typical. Yeah, like that meme of that guy that's like,

his veins are popping out. Yeah, I know. I haven't brought up, yeah, I haven't brought up cancer season in 20 minutes. Yeah. Why didn't we make that meme? Okay, anyway.

Yeah. And she leaves. Yeah. So he came up to my best friend Morgan. He was like, is that you're, are you friends with her? And she was like, yeah, I've been friends with her since we were 12. And he was like, I'm going to marry her one day. Oh my gosh.

He really said that. But I also think it was kind of like a move he was using that summer. I think he was just like saying. He said it to every girl. He's like, so the one I marry, I will have said it to her. Yeah, I think he literally was just coming up to girls and being like, this is mind blowing. I think we're going to get married one day.

It's a good move. And so he was like, can I borrow your ring to Morgan? And Morgan gave him her, she has like one of those Cartier love rings, gave it to him. And he proposed to me in the middle of the sloppy tuna. What? Your boyfriend proposed you the day he met you. He proposed to me the day he met me. But it was a fake proposal.

When you wait to have a boyfriend. Then. Then 20 minutes later, he made out with another girl. What? Oh. I can't believe he did you so dirty. Was it Nora? He did me.

Was it the sloppy tuna? Yeah, so he did that. And I was like, done with you. We're not hanging out. Whatever. But he had my number at that. So he had thought I left the bar when this happened. But he's literally in the back of like my group pictures with my friends making out with

another girl. That's so wild. Just because he was drunk, you think? Yeah. I think it was just like, I mean, to be totally honest, I would have probably done the same thing. Okay. That's fair.

Like I'm not. There's no rules at the sloppy tuna. Yeah. No rules. But I was like, I'm not talking to him again. Like, he's gross. He's going to marry that girl now. Yeah.

Yeah, he probably proposed to her right after I left. And then... He's proposing to her in the background of your picture. Morgan, isn't that your love ring? Morgan would have father. Can you imagine he goes back up? He's like, can I say that ring again? He proposes to another girl.

Morgan would have literally physically hurt him. But after that, he had my numbers. So I was there for like four more days in Montauquist. we both were. And he would just call, not text, call me every single morning. I would wake up to a call from him. What time? Like, I'm thinking 9 a.m.ish. Too early. And, yeah, so it was like, if a man called me at 9 a.m. I wasn't answering. He doesn't know me. I would wake up. I don't even call you that. I like calls. I'm not a textor. So I actually kind of like that. But I would wake up to these voicemails from him. And he'd just be like, hey, babe, it's me, Brian. Just want to know what our

plan is for today. And I was like, who's like, who? at first I was like, this guy's like a psychopath. Right. And then he kept doing it and I was like, okay, this is actually kind of funny. He wore you down. It is funny. He literally was just acting like we're in a relationship. That is funny.

It was pretty funny. Yeah. It was pretty funny. And he was like, okay, like, finally, like I was just ignoring him. And finally on the last day, he was like, you guys, are you guys doing notes? Ladies, do nothing. We can't stress this enough to you guys. Yeah.

But yeah, then we went on our first day in the city when we were about. and the rest of history. Wow. Was it weird for you navigating like, okay, I've never been in a relationship. How do I do this? Yes, 100%. I mean, I felt like that even at my most serious relationship when I was like 2930, where I was like, I haven't been in a relationship like this where I'm like head over heels

and love. What are the rules? Yeah, I'm like, we're going to live together. There's conflict. I don't, I mean. Conflict was the hardest thing I think for me to deal with my first relationship because I was like, every time we have a fight, I was like, are we broken up? Oh my God, same.

Yeah. Every time. And we actually did. Yeah, I think conflict was like the hardest thing for me because I didn't really expect. I'm like, I have all these close friends. I'm hooked up with all these guys before. Like, it's going to be fun. Yeah.

Not as many as Nora. Yeah. Not as many as Nora. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so curious like how this progressed. Like how did you know how to be in a relationship? It was really. So at first it was like fine because I don't know.

do think one of the things that worked for us from the beginning was I just, I was kind of saying this earlier, like, I decided for my own sanity that this time around I wasn't going to be like stressing about whether or not he likes me and just kind of like, instead of looking for signs that he doesn't like me, look for signs that he does. Yeah. And like just kind of shifted my mindset. It made me a lot less psycho in the process. And like, I think it made things a lot easier for both of us. It was just a very easy relationship. Like it wasn't very stressful. It just happened pretty naturally. And then the first few months of the relationship were like fine. And then I don't even remember what our first fight was. But I remember, oh no, it was before we were even officially

dating. I saw that he still had Bumble. And I was like, how did you know that he had Bumble? I saw it. Like he went to go pull something up on his phone to show me and I like saw it there. He had been using it or the day of the app. It was a recently used app. Okay. All right. I know that some guys will get in fights with their girlfriends, and the men are so stupid. They think they delete the app that deletes the profile. And it doesn't. Okay.

But he was fully on it. Yeah. So he was on it. I mean, we weren't exclusive yet. He wasn't like technically doing anything wrong. Right. And so I was just like,

it was killing me. Like I'm not a confrontational person. And when you're hooking up with someone, like confronting them about anything is like hell. Yeah. And you're like, I don't even know what to do. It's my first boyfriend.

Exactly. And it's like it felt like he was my boyfriend, but I was like he's not. And so, yeah. I was really like just deathly afraid of this conversation. Absolutely. To the point where I tried to bring it up one time.

Oh, gosh. My friends were like, you got to say something. And I was like, I literally don't think the words will come out. And I, like, amped myself up one night. Like, when I got drinks with my friends, like, okay, you're going to go over to his place and, like, say something. I, like, fully did not say anything that night. And then the next morning I wake up, I'm like, okay, I have to say it. I was like, hey, can I talk to you about something?

And he was like, sure, of course. I go, I actually have to throw up. And I literally ran to the bathroom. You had that much anxiety? Threw up because I was dreading saying something. And you were like, I just want to tell you about my eating disorder? Yes. Oh, my God.

This is so funny because I really feel like we are bonded because of the cancer thing, but I am so opposite of you, whether I had a boyfriend or not, I've never in my life been upset about something and not spewed it out that moment. I can't hold back. I'm glad. I hold back on those things. It's good sometimes. It's good to like, not.

fly off the handle like I do. Were you raised in like a household where like your mom? I'm sorry, I don't even know what you're going to ask. But I'm just curious. Like my mom, like my mom's is a therapist. We are, we're Jewish.

We never met a feeling we didn't want to discuss. I have an extremely open family. My mom literally openly says that she thinks holding things in is cancer. Like if I ever even. Oh, thank God you brought up cancer again. So sorry. It's on my mind. Cancer season.

It's cancer season. Yeah. So it's just. just not even the way I was raised at all. And I'm really open with your friends and stuff. Yeah. But I even, I'm not good at expressing feelings of discomfort or anger.

Was your mindset like partially I really like this guy and what if this like, exactly. I think that's what it was. Like you don't want to even hear what he has to say. He might be like, listen, yeah, I am on Bumble and I don't want to do this anymore. Literally. That's exactly what I was expecting because it's like that feeling of like, oh, that's what would have happened before.

Absolutely. And so finally I did. up their courage, just say something, you know him. And he was like, oh, like, he was like, first of all, I literally haven't been on a date, like, since we've been hooking up. And he was like, I go on there sometimes because I think it's, like, funny. But here, look, I'll, like, delete it right now. And, like, deleted it.

And then sent me, like, as soon as he left, like, this really long text being, like, he hadn't been in a relationship since high school. And he was like, I hope I'm not doing anything to mess this up. Like, I like, that kind of thing. And I was like. Are you the same age? Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's one year older than me.

Yeah. Okay. And. And yeah, so I think him being so receptive to it when I did have to say something that one time helped me a little bit in the conflict department. So as our relationship progressed, I still would get like, I don't remember what our first fight was when we were dating, but I do know that I was like nervous to bring something up when I was upset about it. And he literally called me out when I finally said something about it. I guess I was like prefacing it with like, I really have to like tell you something.

Like I just like, it's going to bother me if I don't. He was like, you can just say it. Just say it. You don't have to like worry about it. Oh, I think it's frightening to say those things to somebody. I think the Bumble thing, though, the dating app thing comes up a lot. I think it's an ageless problem.

I think everybody's like, my man is still doing these things. Yeah, I think people are really afraid to say that. But if you say those things in a nice way, a calm way, a not super negging, negative way. If the person responds, yeah, if the person responds in a negative way towards you,

that person, I'm sorry, like, they don't like you that much. I don't want to date you. They're not worth your time. And it might not be personal. It's not that you're not great, beautiful, wonderful. They just don't want to be in a relationship. If you could friend somebody in a nice, calm way and they're like, you know, screw you, I'm going to keep doing this.

Or how dare you ask me about this? So you guys have been together for years now, right? Yeah, three years. For three years. Yeah. And do you talk about the future, like marriage? Yeah. I mean, I don't want to get married anytime soon, but we do, like, openly talk about that.

Do you feel like you're worried like this is my first boyfriend? I'm going to marry my first boyfriend. Oh, that's definitely crossed my mind. But then at the same time, I'm like, as I said before, I'm like, I had these other relationships with guys that I feel like are valid. And I just, I'm happy I didn't meet my first boyfriend when I was a freshman in high school. Right. You know?

Or even college. Yeah, or even college. Yeah. So, yeah, I like think about it, but it doesn't bother me that much, really. Good. And again, that could be a male-female thing too. Oh, totally. I don't know.

I mean, I'm sure your boyfriend's great and he's not out here like, oh, I haven't been with enough girls, you know? But I think it's also like you love this person and you're excited by them. It's just kind of like I'm happy. I don't know who else I would want to be in a relationship. Yeah, and I think we get these emails sometimes that is from a girl that's like, this is the only person I've been with. And I feel like he wants to move forward and get married.

I don't know if I'm ready for that. And it's like you might be trying to come up with an excuse because you actually don't want to be with this person. Absolutely. Like you're just being like, oh my God, you're throwing a roadblock in just because he's not the right person. Yeah. Like if you start asking yourselves those questions, I mean, if you have doubts, never marry that person. Yeah. I just think doubts are like if you're having a doubt about a person, definitely don't just agree to spend the rest of your life with them.

Yeah. I think I get like, if I put myself in the shoes of someone who truly hadn't been single, like I know some people who like have had just the same boyfriend forever and have those freakouts where they're like I don't know what being single feels like. I'm like, I kind of understand that where you're like, this is just like a part of life that I never experience and like having a freak out about it and like just being able to be independent and be on your own a little bit before you decide to spend the rest of your life with this person.

But on the flip side, if you've had that single experience and you're still having doubts, I mean, I don't really know what to sound like that's probably not the person for you. That's all. I think that those are two different things. Like being like, okay, I love this person, but should I have this like time when I was single. That's different to me than being like, I don't know if this should be the last person.

Yeah, I agree. Right. And I, those are, I can't even imagine ever having to have that conversation with somebody. That must be so painful to be like, I love you so much,

but like I need to have like an experience for myself. Right. There's nothing wrong with that. And if you are truly questioning it and that voice is so loud, then like, maybe you should try. You know, maybe that isn't the person for you.

I've really think like it's one of those cheesy, what's meant to be will be. Like if that's the person you're supposed to be with, you can come back to them eventually. I also just like that you have, have started your adult life with this guy. This doesn't seem to have held you back. You seem like your career's moving in the right direction.

I think that's cool that you guys are these 26, 27-year-olds that live that have been together for years that live in New York City and are just like living your life. Yeah. And I think that's just a full testament to how long I got to be single. I really strongly believe that. I think I got to have so much time to like figure out what I want, to figure out what's important to me to figure out like my deal breaker is in a relationship to I just feel like I know myself really well because I had all that time and I waited for the right person who let me be me

and had similar values to me. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I think this is like a really good way to wrap this up. Yeah. I do too. I'm just, I'm really excited because we wanted to do this topic for a long time and I just, I always feel sad when we get these emails from girls being like, what is wrong with me? And it's like nothing. Nothing. It's so normal. Also, if you have people in your life that are making you feel bad about it, cut them out of your life. Yeah, 100%. Like, your friends, like, your real friends will never, ever even throw the slightest bit of shade about you being a virgin, never having a boyfriend, whatever it is.

Like, they, who cares? Who cares? And also, like, this is so fun that you get to be single and you get to, like, focus on your friendships and focus on all of these other cool things and, like, hook up with guys. Would you rather be settling for, like, some lame guy who you don't even like that much? Just to have a boyfriend. Just have a boyfriend and then have to like dump him eventually because like that would just suck. Yeah.

Yay. Well, I'm glad we did this. Thank you for being here. Where can people find you and your writing? First of all, follow me on Instagram. Candice Jalili, J-A-L-I-L-I. It's hard to spell. And you can just go on my website, canisjali.com.

And I put most of my articles on there. Okay. And maybe you'll write a book one day. Oh, yeah. And I'm in the process of writing a book. So how do I know? buy it when it comes out in like two years. You guys, two years from now, just keep a look out.

Mark your calendar.com. I'm sure we're still doing this podcast. Yeah. Well, thank you for being here. This is really great. Of course. This was so fun. My first podcast.

Yay. You did it. So many first. All right. Well, thank you so much. We're going to say goodbye to you. We're going to do a little outro amongst ourselves. But again, thanks for being here.

Of course. Thanks for having me. Okay. So it's just us. Just the jewel. We can make it if we're trying. Just the two of us. Actually, it's like, this episode's really long.

I was like, let's sing a duet. So it was such a fun time talking to Candace, but it's just the two. So now we can be our raunchy selves. No. You'd be disgusting now that she's gone. No, that was, I love the message there, but we were like, we really need to like raunch it up. So we obviously dug into our emails for your, that took a turn.

Thanks, guys. Thanks for being so disgusting. That took a turn. This took a turn. I forget what we even called it. This took a turn. We got in there and some of the ones you guys have sent us. We hadn't even seen and they are some doozies. So before, well, let's, if you, if you're just now listening, you're just not tuning in, you don't know this game. It's, is what it sounds like, a conversation or an experience with somebody, a date, whatever it may be, that just

took a fucking turn. I have to say, I've not read any of these yet. Ashley was giggling her ass off on the couch finding these. So I'm excited to get into them with you guys. Oh my God. So let's, let's dive on in. This took a turn. Oh my God, this first one I cannot. I'm going to experience this with you guys. So way back in high school, I met a guy at math camp. What? And since I literally, she was in all camps. And since I literally spent the summer at math camp, I think it's pretty safe to say that I didn't get much attention from guys back then. So when this guy Will was interested in me, I was very excited. We started texting every day and he came to visit me a couple times. So after a while, I decided to return the favor. I drove three hours to his house and when I arrived, he offered me to show me

around his property. He brings me up to the top of the hill and I literally stop in my tracks because in front of me are three 15 to 20 foot tall wooden crosses. Now I'm from North Carolina, so trust me, I've seen some religious shit in my day, but I dead ass thought this man knew I was a virgin, was preparing to sacrifice me. Instead, he explains to me that when he was four years old, his older sister got brain cancer and eventually died. Wow, this is a buzzkill. He showed me this beautiful stone bench engraved with her name and was telling me all about her and obviously it was tearing up because it was so sad and awful and all of a sudden he starts trying to make out literally seconds after he's telling me about his sister's horrible,

painful death. Oh my God. Then, when I thought it truly couldn't get anywhere, as this man started fingering me on his dead sister's bench. What? I can't. I cannot. It's not the end of this. Oh my God. I had never. hooked up with a guy before and didn't talk to my friends back then. She's just like in high school. Okay. About stuff like this.

So I kept it to myself for years until a few weeks ago when I was listening to this podcast. I was trying to think of anything that's happened to me that would be relevant in for is this weird submission. This traumatizing memory rose to the service and I can't stop thinking about how insane it is. And I didn't question how weird this was, I guess, at the time. Anyway, thanks for helping me remember the story of how my math camp boyfriend got turned

on by telling me about his dead sister. This is so twisted. Obviously, you know, it's a sad, terrible thing and what happened to a sister. We're not making jokes about it for those of you that don't understand comedy. But this is shocking. It's shocking.

I can even understand a man being turned on by like your empathy and your sympathy and he's telling you this story and you feel like you're having this bonding moment. It's like this beautiful thing between the two of you. You don't start fingering her on the bench. Fing her on the bench. On the sister's bench.

Why don't you guys fuck on the grave? Why don't you guys go find where the gravestone is? And just fuck on it. Why don't you bend her over the gravestone? This is shocking. This is so wild. And I love that she's like so young. She's like, I'm a math camp girl.

I'm a virgin. I wouldn't know how to stop this at that age. I barely not to stop this at 30. No. I'd be like, do you want to move to the grass so you can figure me? Oh, this guy seems sick. Oh, God. And the giant crosses, 20 foot tall crosses.

Oh, my God. What would you do? I would, yeah, for sure. sure first thing first thought is I'm getting sacrifice. This is like this is it for me. I had a good run at math camp. I hope you I hope you really enjoyed that long division girl.

It's like there and crosses. They're just giant plus signs because I know you love math. All right. Are you ready for this one? I'm so excited. You just got to kind of strap in. It's some text. I'm just going to read it. This took a turn. Match with this guy in Tinder in early 2018. We exchanged numbers and talked about getting together for drinks. He then

has to postpone getting together until after whatever. Now I'm going to read. That's all you need to know. Match on Tinder, exchange numbers. So his first text, hey Jenna, it's, I'm going to give a name. Hey, Jenna, it's Tom. Hey, Tom. She says maybe we can plan for one night next week. Tom says, sure, Monday and Tuesday, blah, blah, blah, gives his schedule. Jenna writes, okay, right now I'm pretty open Wednesday through five next week. So just let me know what day works for you. Tom writes sounds good. Let's talk early next week to figure something out. She says perfect. She touches base. Hey, how are you still interested in grabbing a drink at some point. So I guess went there, whatever. She touched base with him.

Right before the election plans. Yeah, I guess before the week started. Hey, how are you still interested in grabbing a drink at some point? He writes, hey, sorry, I've been really busy with work. Things are really busy for me until New Year's. Let's meet up then. This was December 20th. A little understandable, but I'm calling it after this. It's December 20th. If you're telling me, we're going to meet up after New Year's, I don't know you. I'm just kind of like, okay, that's never going to happen. Totally. She writes, okay, sounds good. Let me know when you're free. he writes will do on Thursday, Thursday, December 20th, Tom writes will do. Okay.

Nothing for months. Months. Monday, March 11th. Monday, we're in a new year, people. Monday, March 11th. Hey, Jenna, how's it going? Hi, who is this? It's Tom.

We matched on Tinder a while back. And she writes, I love this girl. Oh, right. Ha, ha. You must have been really busy these past few months. L.O.L. And he writes long story. then he writes my ex and I got back together

but now we're done for good. She writes, how can you be so sure it's for good? She's therapyizing him now. She's talking more about that. She packed her stuff, left her engagement ring on my dresser and left this morning. And I was your first text? You didn't text you mom? Hold on. Let's unpack this.

Jenna writes this morning. Sorry, but I'm not looking for a rebound. You should also probably take some time for yourself to get over her. Tom writes fair enough. Jenna writes good luck. Tom writes, thank you. Okay. Can we This is the end of the interaction. That's it.

Thank you. Let's just rewind and realize that he proposed from December to March. So he was going to date somebody on December 20th, then somehow got back with his ex enough to propose. He was living with her too. She left her stuff. They were living together. He's fully engaged.

How does this even happen in a three months span of time? He lived a whole lifetime in three months. And then to ask her out, she left this morning. What? What? And he reached out to the girl from Tinder? Why are you sharing this with me? Why?

You don't need to tell me that she left this morning. Like you can still smell her perfume from when she put it on after the shower this morning and you're already texting me. Tom, lie. Right, that's what I'm saying. I'm looking right now unless Jenna altered these, which I'm sure she didn't because you guys are sweet angels that would never lie. When he wrote long story, because she was like, he must have been busy.

He wrote long story, L.O.L. And then he just kept going. And he just gave her story. And he just gave her story. And she wasn't like, what's the story. He just was like, my ex-guid and got back together. Just less information. She packed her stuff, left her engagement ring on my dresser and left this morning.

I think it's romantic. So are you free tonight? Yeah, I think it's romantic. He's been thinking about her all this time. He was just waiting for her to leave. They're definitely together. Jenna and Tom. He's like, yeah, I've been hoping for the day she leaves me and finally it happened for us this morning.

I feel like we're always like, men are liars. Why do they lie so much? This guy's like so honest and you're like, whoa, do less. Yeah. It was a lot of information though. It's just also like this guy's cuckoo. Like just December 20th, he's singled, ready to mingle on Tinder. And then in that span, he gets engaged to his ex.

Like I. What percentage of the time do you think the success rate on this is? Like when somebody's like, yeah, my fiance left me this morning. Do you want to go out? Like what do you think the success rate on a text like that is? I. What girl on earth? I'd say yes to that.

What? I don't know. I'm not, and again, no judgment. I don't know that I would be that girl, but I think there's some thing there of like, there's that innate thing of women wanting to nurture and help a guy. Some women would go. Yeah, some women would jump off a bridge.

I don't know. Ladies, if you're listening, don't go. Don't DM us. We're going to do a poll. We're going to do a poll on Instagram. If you're listening right now, we're going to do a poll. Just please don't DM us. I do want to know what you have to say, though.

I just don't want hundreds of hundreds of DM us. I'm saying I would go, I wouldn't go because we won't be able to keep up. I want to do a poll and see who would go. Okay, part of me, okay, I'd tell you what, I would go, I would go, I would go a content. I would have to know. You'd have to know. Because like, it's for work though, you know? But even like if it wasn't, I think I don't, I actually don't think I'd go, I would go for the comedy, but I think if I wasn't a comedian and didn't have this podcast, I just want to know what happened. Like, Tom, give it to me straight. So when did you get back together with her? Obviously, at December 21st. And so you guys got back together of the holidays.

You spent Christmas together. You spent New Year's together. And And then when did you propose? When did you propose? Tell me the proposal story. Like, I'd be like, but we're buds now. But I'm never going to date you. You're fucking psycho. We're real comfortable with each other, though.

I can ask you anything. You clearly want to tell me everything. Wow, Tom, you are wild. That guy fucks. That guy is crazy. That guy sucks on your finger. Raina's new hot move. All right.

It's my new hot move. I was like when somebody slips a finger in my mouth while we're fucking a little bit. Okay, you like, mime that it's their dick. It's fine. We're going to move on. You got the finger fucked? Not finger banged, finger fucked. I like to take the finger and like lick it, like the, around the tip of it.

Like you're miming a blowjob with somebody's finger. Yeah. That's what you do. That's the move. If they've washed their hands. Okay, anyway, we'll talk about it in another episode. Their fingers were probably inside of you. You know where they were.

All right. Anyway. Okay. Next email. Quick background. My first year of college, this guy in my English class, where I had talked to like all of three times. Ask me on a date.

I politely declined because I wasn't interested. Fast forward to the fourth year, he sends me this. Via DM. Okay, so this is an Instagram DM. This is only one side. This is just him. Okay, we're going to change the names on this.

Anyways, hey, Jen, Sarah and I are looking for someone to have a threesome with sometimes. Sometime this week, are you down? This is February 15th. She does not respond. There is no response. Okay. Then she follows up unless I say,

no, I didn't reply as I'm waiting for like a just kidding or that was a dare or some other excuse. Well, an explanation ever came, but something else did. So then she sends us the second part of this DM. She's never responded to this. This is April 24th. So this is two and a half months later. He sends a photo of a book. No, he's responding to her. Oh, he's responding to her Instagram story of a photo of a book. I've heard really good things about this book. How is it? I mean, two question marks. Super aggressive. At also three in the morning. 3.41 in the morning. Yes. Like, this is so wild.

Like, it's just so crazy in so many levels. Like, he wanted to go on a date with her. She rejected him. And he was like, you know what? I have a girlfriend anyway. Maybe she'll be a third and our threesome. She definitely didn't want to go on a date with me, but maybe she'll fuck me and my girlfriend.

In what world? She doesn't want to do the nice thing. Maybe she did the naughty thing. Right. And then she never responds. And two and a half months later, he's like, you know, it's going to get her books. Three months.

Four in the morning. Yeah. Oh my God. It's so ridiculous. This is so wild. I just love like how, I love like men have no shame. I think women are like, oh my God, I do this embarrassing thing. Should I follow up?

Like when you sound like a super embarrassing drunk text and you're like, oh my God, do I need to say something? No, no, men would never say anything. No shame. Men have no shame. You could literally do anything to them. It's so crazy. Like, hey girl, my girlfriend are looking to have a threesome with, what is it says?

We're looking for someone to have a threesome with some time. sometime this week. Are you down? No response. And then he just thinks casually two months later. He's like, the book looks good. How is it? Like, you got left on red on a threesome request.

Doesn't care. Men don't care. Like, I can't stress this enough. That you could literally do nothing to a man that he wouldn't just be like, I don't care. That's a different day. I don't know, though. It's a new day.

They're so different though, because like some men like are crippled by rejection. They'll never forget it. You know what I mean? I think men are like, they are different. Like, I think there's a lot of men that like this, no shame. And then there's men that, like, are insecure and would remember the time you didn't text them back forever. You know what I mean? I think there's really both. This guy makes me laugh.

I feel like I'd be friends with this guy. Like, he's hysterical. Yeah. I feel like he's like, yeah, I don't want to go on a date with you, but you want to fuck me and my girlfriend. And then he's like, I don't care if you said no. How's his book? It's so wild, though, because like, I can't believe that they chose somebody that already rejected him. Like, of all the people they're sitting around and being like, who should we have a threesome with this girl that wouldn't go out with me? How about the girl that wanted to go out with you? How about a girl that liked you. I don't know. There's some people that I wouldn't date, but I would fuck. I would do some weird kinky stuff with, but I wouldn't like ever call you my man. Yeah, that's fair.

I don't know. I feel like this guy sounds fun. He sounds fun. I'd join a book club with him. His Instagram handles right there, Rana. Sliding into his DMs right now. All right. While Ashley reads this next email, I'm going to look him up and see if he's cute. Okay. Well, you've got to pay attention because you don't know this. So I don't want you to be distracted. Okay. Hey ladies, love the podcast. Duh. She wrote, duh. but I would say that. Redownloaded Bumble less than 24 hours ago and already got an absolute gem in joy. Okay, she's talking to this guy, Michael. He's like, yeah, whatever they said before.

And he goes, nice, but yeah, I own my own construction company and co-own a chain of restaurants. So what are you looking for on here, though? And she writes, a sugar daddy, duh. He writes, I mean, if that's what you're really looking for, I can deaf make it happen. What's your number? She goes, ha, ha, I'm kidding. I don't know what I'm looking for. If something feels right, though, I'm not going to run from it.

If that makes sense. and then gives her number. He says, I texted you. What's up? It's Michael from Bumble. And I knew you were kidding, L.O.L. I was just going for it. But as for me, like I've said, I own two businesses and I'm a very sexual and dominant man. So I'm looking for a woman who can keep up with me, who I can spoil, take out and have both kinds of fun with and see what happens from there. Are you down for that? She writes, hey there, well, based on the interview like nature of this exchange, why don't we go on a date and feel each other out? I also live life at 110 miles per hour. So kind of like someone that could keep up as well. He writes, okay, okay, sounds good to me and I like that because again, I feel the same way. But just to get your mind going a little bit more, I have a playroom and I'm nine and a half inches and pretty thick too, by the way. Yeah, yeah, sounds good.

We'll go on a date. But anyway, I have this fucking red room and I also have nine and a half inch did. I have a huge cock. She writes, so she's funny. She responds? Yes. She goes 9.5. I guess I could downgrade.

He does a laughing emoji. I like that. He didn't get offended. Okay, what turns you on? Like, what really gets you going? She writes, I mean, blood play and golden showers are cool, but a guy with some integrity intact that waits a few dates before feature pitching me his penis really gets me hot and bothered.

Holy shit. I love her. He does more laughing emojis. I like that he's not like taking this and being rude. And he says, I mean, if you can't handle my personality, you could just tell me. But by the way, you're going about it is actually pretty funny. And she says, shuts it down. It looks like I'm handling your personality just fine.

As for that original proposition, I think I'll pass. this has been entertaining though. Thanks, Michael. I cannot believe the direction of this conversation because I think men, like, they say these disgusting things and you just never respond and then they start like saying mean shit to you

and she's like negging him a little bit and he's like playing into it. They're both like peacocking a lot. And like this is what that response deserves. Like men that are like, um, nine and a half inches in a fucking red room. And it's like, you deserve me fun of it. But he was like a good sport.

He was a good sport. I like it. I think they should go on a date. I think they're well students with each other. I support it. I don't know a lot of people that could keep up with either of those people. Yes. I would shut down that two seconds.

I'm like, fuck you, dude. I want to watch them fuck. She's like, I like blood play. I love her. That was, she's like funny, witty, like, can write. Like, she's, I just love that. I was shocked. She listens to this podcast.

Everybody listens to this amazing. It's amazing. You guys are amazing. Okay. Anyway, that's pretty solid. And actually, if somebody says that to you, I think you guys should steal these responses. This is great. Go for it.

Tell them where you got it. Girls Gotta Eat. Anyway, guys, Girls Got Eat Podcast.com, stupidlifshows.com for the live shows. Follow us at Girls Gotty Podcast on Instagram and Girls underscore Gotta Eat on Twitter. And that's it.

Thanks, guys. Have a great week. Subscribe, great review. Bye.