Girls Gotta Eat - Location Sharing and Big D*ck Problems with Anna Roisman

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

If you're looking for a healthy dose of hilarious girl talk, this episode is for you. We have comedian/impressionist Anna Roisman join us to chat about the celeb impression that put her on the map, her controversial collab with Hilaria Baldwin, how she's morphing into Kris Jenner, self-talk for putting yourself out there on the Internet, and the videos she has in her drafts right now. We also discuss her boyfriend of nine years, why they aren't married (and when people stopped asking about it), and why they don't share location. Then we get down and dirty (literally) with some "Should I break up with him?" emails about hygiene, jealousy, and being too well-endowed. Before Anna joins us, we trade shocking stories about a funeral and a fart. Enjoy! Follow Anna on Instagram @annaroisman, TikTok @annaroisman, and visit her Linktree for more. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Aura Frames: Get $35 off the bestselling Carver Mat frame at https://auraframes.com with code GGE. Square Space: Get a free trial at https://squarespace.com/gge and use code GGE for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Boll & Branch: Get 25% off sitewide and free shipping at https://bollandbranch.com/gge with code GGE. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I remember watching that sex tape and I could not believe it. Why do you think I'd put it out there? I knew a star when I saw one. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back.

I'm so uncomfortable. Your body suit? I have just a thong in my labia. Okay, did somebody ever say something to you and like you're not aware of it? And then you be, okay, so let me like, okay, you started talking about your labia. And I'm not wearing a body suit. I don't really wear body suits that much anymore. But then you started talking about how your shirts up inside your vagina.

And I was like, now I feel that my thong is up inside it. And I wasn't aware of my labia previously. You have sympathy pains. I mean, I think about it all the time where you retired from body suits before me. You think about that a lot? Yes. Every time. Because when you said you were doing it, I was like, I would never.

And I was still deep in my bodysuit era. You're sure it was still deep in your pussy. Yes. And now I'm like, Is my vagina getting bigger? No, you've complained for years about body suits. I can't believe that I got to this quicker than you. But I just dealt with it.

I think a lot about the Victoria Ratliff quote from White Lotus. I'm just not meant to live an uncomfortable life. And I think about it every time I put a thong in my labia. I just, I don't think I even thought about being uncomfortable. It's just like being a woman's uncomfortable. Everything you do is uncomfy. Yeah, but I'm just like, you were like, I'm done living that life. And I was like, Raina grow up.

everybody wants this life and I still think of all the live shows I wore them for and I was just so uncomfortable and I was like well this is life and now it's like I can't get through the day okay I was thinking yesterday they're like a man undressing you and he takes your pants off and like your shirt is in your butthole

like that's sexy we're running around like toddlers in a leotard nothing more embarrassing than buttoning your body suit in front of your man I don't do that just no I don't You give yourself a reach around. You hold it up. You can't quite get the snap in the other snap. I used to be like he can never see this.

And now I'm like, just look away. Just look away. We're married now. So you have to deal with this. I have you a couple of like corset body suits. And that's it. I don't really wear a lot of it. I like crop tops now.

I'm a crop topper. Yeah. I've always been both. But yeah, it's rarely that I'm in a body suit. So anyway, if I seem a little chippy today. This is the second time you said chippy to me today, and I've heard you say it zero times. It's a new one for me. Okay.

And I've been looking for this word for years. Chippy. Can I make it off? No. It just means, you know, snippy, short. Uh-huh. I saw it in a video with Drake and Bobby Altaf. Okay.

I went deep on like what's been going on with her. What is going on with her? Well, she has a new man, and people are pissed about it. this could probably be like a snack topic. And people say that are saying the meanest stuff to her about it. And she was like crying on TikTok. She's removed the, I think she took down the crying TikTok.

Didn't she have some like plastic surgery issue too? She's had like Botox issues like in her jaw and stuff like that. But people are really mean to her. And she was like crying on TikTok like over Thanksgiving. And I think she took it down. But then I kind of forgotten about her. So then I went deep. And then I.

Chipping. There was a clip about her and Drake and their fight. And they did the YouTube video and then it got taken down. and they really got in a fight. And Drake was like, I was being a little chippy. And I was like, that's the word I've been looking for for years. Like chip on your shoulder? No, just.

Raina. That's what it has to come from that? Are you interrogating me? Okay. I'm just kidding. You're upset because your shirt's in your butthole. Don't get mad at me. Chippy.

Chippie. It's the word, Q4 word. Chippy. Okay. A chip on your shoulder. I think it just. A little snippy. Actually, I think it's more intense than I thought.

I think it's like aggressive. Yeah, a little chippy. aggressively belligerent. I thought it was just being like a little snarky. Okay, can I tell you a word that my brother said a couple of times, well, a phrase a couple times, and I was like, I don't know that I hear a lot of people say this, and I'm going to start incorporate it.

He was referring to my nephew, but he was like, right before he started crying, like a big cry, he was like, he's about to kick off. And then he was talking about somebody in our family that likes to fight with people, and he was like, she thinks she's so tough because she loves to kick off with everyone. And I was like, I like that phrase.

You do like it? I like it. kick off. I've never heard that. Pop off, go off. Bust down. Fust down, Tatiana. Kick off is fun.

Kick off. I like, kick off. I kind of like pop off still. Go off. I mean, kick off. Go for it. Use it.

Thank you. I'm a kickoff. Yeah. It is funny, like, regional slang and lexicon. Can I tell you when we said, and my brother and I will, like, bring it back, but we will not say it to other people because this feels very like smart to Delaware. I don't know. I feel like this is not going to hit for any of the listeners.

But when we would, in high school, middle school, if you were laughing really hard, you would say bagging up. What does that mean? We were bagging up. It feels nice to say it. It means nothing. Doesn't make any sense to me. What the fuck? I don't know if it means.

I like it doesn't make any sense. It's like, okay, you know in New York City when people say it's cold? People say it's brick. Brick, yeah. And that phrase like blew me to smithereens. I was just like, what does this mean? I know. What does it do with being brick?

But I like it. I've never understood it. bag up isn't even on. Yes, it means to laugh. Okay, so to laugh heartily, I was bagging up laughing so hard. Okay, let me know if you, maybe this is like a Delco thing. I feel like most of the stuff that came down to Smyrna, Delaware was Philly Delco. You know what I even wanted to ask you?

Okay. What's the Co? What's Delco? Delaware County. Oh, it means county. Yeah. For years I've wanted to ask. It's like that time I wanted to know what you do with a washcloth in the shower.

All right. Well, I'm bringing back, bagging up. Kick it off. Okay. All right, let's take our partners. All right, thanks to ORAFram. Get $35 off the best-selling carburemet frame at ORAFrames.com with code GGE. And Squarespace, get a free trial at Squarespace.com slash GGE and use code GGE for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And thank you to Boland Branch.

Get 25% off sitewide and free shipping at Bowlenbranch.com. slash GGE with code GGE. And thank you to Quince. Get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com slash GGE. This is it. We're a few days away from the holiday show. It's really happening. December 13th, Saturday night, BAM Theater.

It's going to be so much fun, you guys. We cannot wait to see you all there. And we've told you really just like bring your friends, bring your mom, bring your grandma. The whole family's in town. Please bring your grandma. Yeah, bring your kids. Whatever you want to come solo, you'll make friends. but we are really excited for this.

These are our biggest show of the year, wildest, tons of entertainment. It's going to be so fun. It's going to be wild nights, Saturday night, come, get late, get loose. There's going to be a lot of things incorporated from like the year, like your husband. He'll be there, but you know what I mean? Like maybe we might do something we did at my Bachelorette or maybe something we did at your Bachelorette, which was my Bachelorette in Vegas, you know, like little things like that we've incorporated the dancers and music and all the things.

So you guys can get tickets at Girls Gottee.com. We cannot wait to see you guys there. See you guys there. Okay, where do you want to start? I don't even know, Ashley. So much has happened. Oh, so much has happened. I just, like, didn't see you for like 10 days.

Oh, my God. This is the longest trip. I went to London. I saw my nephew. And then I went to Soho Farmhouse, upstate with our friend Megan. Upstate. She's in the country. And then back to London and then back to Pittsburgh to see my family.

I've been staying with people every day for like 11 days. This is how I think I know I'm not meant to be. married. I don't really want to be with people this much. I don't really want. I saw this Mark Marencliffe and he was like, I don't want to stay at people's houses. And I was like, I think that's me. Yeah. I mean, it does start to feel weird when you're like, I am in my 40s. For me, I'm like, I am a married woman. I'm 42 years old. Why am I in my parents' bonus room? Yeah. On like the pullout couch. I have a husband. I run two companies. I run two companies. I'm a grown-up. What am I doing? Like, there's nothing that humbles you, makes you feel so, like, I shouldn't be allowed to be a grown-up in this world than, like, staying at your parents' house, like, staying at other people's parents' house. I don't want to have to, like, fumble around, ask how the coffee maker works, and inevitably I break it. And, like, I don't want to be waiting up for me. I don't want it. And, like, that sounds crazy. I try to not stay with my dad. I actively try to stay down the road. There's a couple of hotels, and he gets, like, really upset.

I mean, I still do like it. I still like, I like being taken care of. I like watching TV with my mom. I obviously love to wake up there on Christmas morning, but I just don't feel like a grown-up. And I'm like, who let me get married? How am I someone's boss? I don't get it.

Because you do, you revert to a 10-year-old, inevitably. I just, I think I don't want it. I think I want to show up ready to do stuff, ready to kick off. I want to show up, looking nice. I don't want to wake up in the morning and talk to somebody about how I slept. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I mean, my PJs.

I know, listen, it's not for me. I don't want to do it. I think about this a lot. Like, I just don't know how people marry annoying people. Because you were with them all the time. Like, sometimes I'll say to Shashon, I'm like, we really are just together all the time. Thank God, we don't annoy each other. Because you really just have to be with them all the time.

Do you know couples that, like, really, I don't know. I'm trying to think, do I know couples that really annoy each other? I think you see it all the time. That don't like each other? Yeah, they're just annoyed with each other. They'd rather be alone. I think that's me. That's you.

I just, I really like being single and just floating through life and doing what I want. I don't know. I feel like we, our tolerance levels have shifted over the years. I do feel like I'm a little more tolerant. Like I like to stay at Matt and Steph's house. Those boys are up at 7.30. Stampede, so loud, slamming doors, hollering. And I'm like, the kids are going to be kids.

Why is my dad using the microwave? It's 6.30 in the morning. I don't understand it. Like, my room is right off at the kitchen. It's 6.30 in the morning. He has to microwave something right now. What is he microwaving at 6 a.m? I don't know.

He is cute, though. He uses his girl's got to eat mug for coffee. I love that. It's really cute. In the microwave? Yeah. We need to get him like a heated mug. He also goes through like a case of water bottles a day.

And I was like, you gotta stop this. This is really bad for the environment. He was like, I'm 78. Get off me. I saw someone say, I'm not staying anywhere that's not nicer than my house. Where am I going to stay? I can't stay anywhere. A nice hotel.

Her point was kind of like. Like, I am only staying in a hotel that's nicer than my house. I'm not staying in an Airbnb, which granted, we've stayed in luxurious Airbnbs. I think her point was just like, I'm not staying somewhere if it's not nicer than my house. But I think her point was more I'm not paying to stay somewhere that's not nicer than my house, which I co-signed that fully. Like, that is crazy. Why would I pay to stay somewhere that's a downgrade? I'm paying for this.

What is the only option? Yeah, I get, yeah. I'm just saying if you have a choice. Although, you see how I abuse a room and I need to be able to do that freely in a hotel. I, no one is more type A anal retentive about their home being clean and the most type B crazy person. I mean, when you get to a hotel, yeah. I don't even let you come into my hotel rooms. I'm also like really tidy home.

Like my house is cleaned every two weeks. Everything is tidy. Like, again, if I come downstairs and the blankets are not folded, something went down. night before, but I keep it tight in a hotel room, too. I will only go to your hotel room. I don't want you to know what it is. Because you know what it is? When I look around and if it's been an explosion, I think about having to pack that shit up. I like to keep it right, keep it tight. I will unpack. I will hang stuff. I know. I know. And so Megan and I stayed in this hotel room together for two nights and like she's an unpacker and she's like neat. Listen, I love her. She's my very

close friend, but she's not like a long time from like you. Like I can act a little crazier around you. With her, I got to keep it in the box. I am a weirdo when I walk into hell tower. I start rearranging furniture. You do? I just start making space. I'm like, I need to move this around. I need to really have it feel right and like maximize.

Sometimes I do move furniture. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if there's like a chair in a weird place and I'm like, why are we here? I did get a little too comfy with her though. Oh my God, what? So this room we were staying in, like the bathroom is sort of in the middle of the room.

The sinks were like in the middle. It was just a giant space. And the sinks were in the middle of the room. There wasn't really anywhere to go for privacy. And I had to take a nude. So I just did it in the middle of the room with her. Just like working on her computer. And I was like, this is just girlhood.

This is like, how cute is this? Yeah. Just like taking nudes. And then I got in the bed to like she was doing some more work. And then I had to take a nude from the back. Like I sent a front facing nude and then I need to take a butt nude. Okay. So I was just laying in the bed next to her, just like camera over my butt.

Taking photos. No secrets. It was really nice. You know I'm taking nudes? You can be in the room. Well, let me tell you what happened in the hotel room with us in Boston. So we're going to do an episode next week about like family and splitting up the holidays. And we have a lot.

We did polls. We're so excited. So I'll talk a little bit more about how we did it and what we plan on doing for Christmas and stuff like that next week. But when we spent the weekend in Boston, I went there the day after Thanksgiving. We did like a day late Thanksgiving with his family and stuff like that. And we just stayed in a hotel and see. that's the experience we wanted to have. And, you know, like, we're welcome to stay with his parents,

but they live a little farther out in the suburbs. We just wanted to, like, you know, do that. You don't want to stay with people, stay? Well, I mean, it just, it depends. I mean, so we went out. We actually went out, like, we, like, we were partying pretty hard. Like, he had some friends that were out for, like, a little high school reunion type thing.

So we went out. We got back to the hotel, and he was like, I'm going to, he was like, I'm going to go into the hallway. And I was like, what? He took a fart walk? He was like, I'm going to go in the hallway to fart. And he just did the like deadbolt to like crack the door. You heard it.

Heard it. Dead ass. He heard it down the hall, Raina. He said he was all the way at the elevator bank. And I yell out, ew! One o'clock in the morning. He's farting in the hallway. I hear it.

I screamed. Ew. And then I hear him laughing. And I can tell he's so far away. I'm like, how loud was that fart? He was like, I was all the way at the elevators. I was like, you went all the way down the hall. How did I hear that?

We're about to get a noise complaint. People are going to get to fire alarm. We have never, yeah, we have never laughed so hard. You ever heard him fart like that? I've never heard him fart ever. So that was my entree through the cracked hotel door. We had different hotel experiences this week. That is a, I feel like you guys got married and things changed.

Like a week out, he's just farting that long and loud. Well, but he went to go. Take his normal fart walk. Yeah, like if the door would have been shut, like shut the door. I'll open it back up. My dad farted next to me on a walk, just so loud. I was like, can you take care of yourself? Like, what is wrong with you?

He can't. I've heard your dad fart way too many times. I've heard, he doesn't care. I've probably heard your dad fart five times and that is five times just too many. Like, what is wrong with him? He's an old man.

He just doesn't care. Ew, I hate a dad fart. Ew, ew, stop. Because I've heard my dad fart. I want to kill myself. Your dad.

My mom. I just look at her different. Okay, she tries to blame it on the dogs. You know, she does. So that happened. He also brought the egg carton.

You guys were wondering. We were getting ready to go out the next. next night, have a little date night. It was like sitting by the door, the door of shame. So that was our trip. That's beautiful. Beautiful story. I could not wait to tell you. And I had a really nice time with my nephews. They had a joint birthday party, I think I mentioned. And it was just a bounce house and they were so cute. And I feel like I really bonded with Aaron on this trip. I mean, he and I are like similar. We're the same person. He is never not without a slice of pizza in his hand. Love him. And he's just such a vibe. He really loves me. He's like always wants to be on me.

We have the same initials. We just really are buddied up. And he has such a personality now. He's talking. He says, Ashy. Like, I just feel like Jay is going to be like a Fortune 500 CEO.

And like Aaron is going to be a comedian. Mm-hmm. Like, I just, you can already tell. I know. I really, yeah,

like, Jay is like, I just can picture them in high school. Like, Jay is like valedictorian. And maybe he's a little uptight. A little rigid, yes.

A little rigid. But he's still like big man on campus. Everybody loves him. He's still super lovable. But then Aaron is just like, light nut man. And Aaron's like a C student. And he's like the football captain, but he's barely making the team. Friends with everybody.

Yeah. Everyone's friends with Aaron. Like crushing beer cans on his head. Chris Farley. Yeah. That's his exact energy. He doesn't know what his body is doing. Ever.

He doesn't need his food on his face. He doesn't care. So that was really such a highlight. And of course, Jay, too, and I being with both of them. But I just feel like Aaron's really coming into his own. And we are like very sympathetico. So that was good. We did a great Thanksgiving and I'm glad I got to be with Shishang's family. And it was really nice to spend time with them. We put up there, his parents tree.

And it was nice. It is nice. Yeah. I had this funny experience I wanted to tell you about on the plane. So like on the way, this guy sat next to me and he like, every like bad plane behavior that I hate, he was just like really fidgety up and down, up and down. He just like needed a lot of stuff. He rolled his pants legs up to his knees, took his shoes off. I don't know why people are taking their shoes off on planes. It really grosses me out. How long was a flight? It was long. It was seven hours. Ors?

Sox on. Sox on. I'll allow it. I just, it makes me uncomfortable. He was like man-spreading. He took up like all the space, took up both of the armrests. Yeah.

He just like wouldn't stop moving and fidgeting and like moving the seat and he turned the overhead light on and he was reading this book. And every time he moved the book, it like shined the light back in my face. Just blowing out my retinas. But none of this compares to what he was watching. So I saw maybe maybe the craziest thing I've ever seen somebody watch on a flight. Like I've never seen anybody watch porn. but like, you know, I've watched a Nora on a plane.

Like, we've watched some stuff. Billy Eichner. Yeah. Bros. Bros. Yeah, the gay orgy. I looked over at his iPad. It was fully set up.

He is watching it. He was watching Hunting Wives. Oh. Mal and Akron. He was watching these women finger each other. Malin, tits out. He is just bricked up next to me on this flight, this man. Watching Hunting Wives, I mean, you guys know Raynathing's

Wives is the most explicit. thing that's ever since. On Netflix. It's a crazy thing on Netflix. It was supposed to be on stars. Last minute ended up on Netflix. It is a highly explicit show. Yeah, it's wild.

There is just... Yeah, there's an eating pussy. There shouldn't be eating pussy on a plane. No. You know, like even the orgy and bros, it's not like full close-up PRV. She's on her knees blowing that kid in high school. I was like, how much longer? Like, hasn't he finished yet?

No, literally. It was a, no, that's what I mean. Like, are you done? Are you just hard next to me? You're already taking up all this space. I don't like it. It's a weird thing to watch on a plane. No, the fidgeting, the shoes off, and now you're watching soft court porn on this plane.

Like, straight to jail. And he never went to the bathroom. He never got up and just finished himself off. I went to the bathroom like three times. He never went to the bathroom. I don't know. I mean, Shishon watched that show. He didn't have to jerk off after.

I think a lot of men can just, I don't think they're middle school. I jerked off to that show. I know, but I think people can like watch. watched sex scenes. Not me. We're not going through puberty. Not you. You're just projecting.

I masturbated like once an episode of that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you revisited your lesbian porn days. Okay, what else? You said you have all these things to tell me. So I had this crazy thing happen. So I flew back through Pittsburgh to go to Pittsburgh for a couple nights to see my dad. And listen, I thought I was going to have this great weekend.

I thought I was going to go with a Steelers game. And then someone died. And it was, it was a family first. friend and that's very sad. We had to go to the funeral. So I, Saturday night, went out. First time to my cousin Casey's, we drank a lot. And then I went over to Uncle John and Aunt Sherry's.

That's their daughter. And we drank also a lot. I was very hungover the next day. It was like, and then we had to be this funeral at 10 a.m. So I was like, hungover funeral is tough. Sunday morning. I thought I was going to like get drunk and go to the Steelers game. No, I tried to like look nice, look decent, talk to people.

I didn't know anybody there. I had to like be like cognizant, whatever. Yeah. So I'm, like, very hungover. I'm out of it. I go to the funeral with my dad and my aunt Sherry and we're sitting in like the pews or whatever. And this woman scoots into like the pew right behind us. This is another fart story.

It's worse. It's so bad. So I started talking to her and I realize that she looks familiar to me. I sort of think I know who she is. She's an older woman. She's maybe like 75. And I go to introduce, I introduce myself, I say my name and she goes, oh, I know you. She says this in front of my dad, my aunt Sherry on a dead body.

She's like, I know you. You hooked up with my son. No. Ma'am? Ashley, it took the breath out of my lungs. No one has rendered me speechless. This is church hours. And there's a corpse here.

There's a dead body. And I all like, so I realized who she is in the moment. And you know who she is too. Her son. Big dick guy? I gave him a hand job when I was, it's summer camp and I was like 12 years old. He's been on this podcast.

Does he have a boxing gym? Is there a boxing gym franchise he might own? And I look at her and all these, I'm going like, he told her this. Like I was like 12. And all I could muster in from my dad and Sherry was, yeah, it was like kind of what we were like pretty young. and we're just all like white knuckling it.

Like I don't know what to say. Why does she know? That's so weird. Like you hooked up with my son. You hooked up with my son. She said out of their whole chest. You hooked up with my son means I walked in on you blowing him in our finished basement in high school years. You jerked him off when you were 12.

Why does she know that? Did she listen to the podcast? I don't. It took like that. I think it did come up. No, it definitely did at some point. It rendered me speechless. Nothing has ever rendered me speechless before.

What if you were supposed to give the eulogy after that? You would have to do it? She got up to go to the bathroom and I look at my dad and my aunt Sherry and I'm like, that was fucking crazy. And all three of his burst out laughing at this funeral. It was, it was insane. I would tell him, but I don't think he'll think it's funny. I'll tell him. Let me get in there.

I'd love to break this to him. And it wasn't like a cute piece to be like, oh, I remember you. It was like so deadpan. You hooked over my son. Like you gave my son his first hand job. Like you were my son's sexual awakening. It was all downhill after you. Ma'am.

I think he'd had a hand job before, one or two. And a couple of cents. Like I don't think I'm like the hand job to end all hand jobs. Oh my God. That really was crazy. He's just been blaming you for his, because remember he's had that whole story. Like, I used to be living in my parents, like, whatever. Like, what if his origin story is like, yeah, you're the villain.

Like, he was like, it was all downhill when Raina Greenberg jerked me off at summer camp. I just never really got my life back on track. It's hard to come back after me. Oh, my God. I really honestly, like most, I've left a wake of destruction in my path. Like, most people don't date someone great after me. I really, I can't cite it. Yeah.

I can't cite anybody that's done better than me. after May. I think he did okay. I think he did all right. Financially, yes. He's dated strictly models his entire adult life. Rain is like, people just don't bounce back. Once they hook up with me in middle school, they never really recover.

He's with like Gigi Haddee. It's Tyler Cameron. People really, listen, no one, they don't level up after me. I'm sticking with it. Okay. Well, let's talk about our partners. will get into it with Anna. Yes. So speaking of family, I'm so excited to talk about this because I saw them all week

long. My parents have one. Matt and Steph have one. We're talking about aura frames. We're talking about aura frames. So we gifted them, again, I didn't do it. My sister-in-law, my brother did. So it's a digital frame and you can upload unlimited photos and videos. You can preload photos before you ship it to them and like really personalize this gift. But my brother and sister-in-law gifted this to my dad and like most of their family. And we all share this app and we can all upload photos to it. And videos. I love what I look over and it's like a video with the boys or like something funny. And it's like it's such a fun surprise. Like I'll see new photos come into it. And it's just it's the best gift. I mean really especially like you don't live in

same city as your family. You can really like share the videos and photos effortlessly. And you can comment on the photos which I think is really cool in the app. Like my dad's just always like look at my little man. It's like very cute. So it's just the most thoughtful, perfect gift. And the actual physical frame itself. They have a couple different colors. They're really beautiful. They look really nice. Like sitting out in your living room, you can choose from like different ones that you like. So if you are thinking of a gift to give anybody in your life, truly, this is the best. And it's really like a project you can all do together. And like I said, you can preload all these photos. Like when you gift it to somebody, they just really open up the frame, plug it in, and it'll

just start working. I really think if you have a situation like a wedding, for example, like I'm, you know, doing a lot of photo-related gifts for everybody. And it's like, A, people don't have a wall space for a frame photos. Not everyone's a photo book. Like this is the thing to do. Like if you had a family event this year, I think this is like the most perfect gift. Family vacation. Yeah.

Like baby being born. It's just, it's truly like the best gift. It is. So for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com and get $35 off ORA's best selling Carvermat frames

named number one by wirecutter by using the promo code GGE at checkout. That's AURA, AuraFrames.com promo code GGE. This deal is exclusive to list. listeners and frames sell out fast so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays support the show by mentioning us at check out terms and conditions apply okay and quince truly incredible clothing and accessories and all the things they sell so much for you or someone on your list my favorite travel outfit i i flew both ways five six hour flights in my like set that i'm obsessed

with i wore the cashmere sweater on thanksgiving day i have a pair of their leggings that I wore with it. I really love it. They have it all. Again, the cashmere. Casimir items start at 2490. So you can shop that. I think this is a great way to level up your man's wardrobe too. It's a great gift for somebody. Yeah, but the gifts are great. They have gift guides and stuff on their site, but like your mom. But again, like I just, I always think of like this is such a great way to start. If you or someone, you really just want to have them have more elevated pieces at such great prices. They have, silk, cashmere like we mentioned, and great stuff for everyday work, play, all the things. Wool coats are incredible. They work directly with ethical top-tier factories, so they skip the

middleman and offer prices 50% less than similar brands. The prices are truly second to none. So we just love it. I mean, we just, again, love the cashmere and I love the stuff for travel. I give their bralettes. I just really have it all at this point. Such great gifts. So you can step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished, and last from Quince, perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself, go to quince.com slash GGE for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, now available in Canada too. That's QINCE.com slash GGE to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash GGE. Okay, let's get into it. Okay, guys, we have a very talented guest here with us and a friend of ours. She is a comedian, a host, a writer, an actress,

a content creator. She was the host of HQ Trivia. She hosts a woman to show, a Joe. pub. She is a master impersonator. Unbelievable. We are so lucky to have her here with us today. Please welcome to the show, Anna Royceman. Oh my God. Thank you so much. I'm going to just replay that intro four times for my mom later. I be like, look, Mom, I did something. Okay, so I told you we started recording. I've written every guest intro for eight years. Ashley and I have never seen somebody with the bio as long as you're so impressive. Wow. Thanks guys. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. So you're laugh. You think I'd be richer right now, huh? What's your next? worth. Yeah. Do it in your Chris Jenner voice. One thousand billion dollars. But you have you do you have a

little bit of her laugh. Are you morphine into her? Yeah, I don't know how to I don't have a laugh anymore. I thought I've done Chris so much and her laugh is so specific that when I laugh like, like my friends will be like oh my God, that's the Chris laugh. And I was like, you just did it. I don't know how to do it. I just heard it. That's why I brought it up. And I just had a feeling you're just turning into Chris. No, but the laugh, the Chris laugh, I've never. I've never. seen anyone do Chris Jenner ever maybe or like especially not like you i think like they did it on SNL at some point you know you're way better yeah thanks you're so good you do so many impressions and we're gonna have to use some today but the first video i think i ever got served of yours was when

hilaria baldwin was outed for just what she's from boston yeah and but she's outed for being from spain yes yes that was that like a huge video of yours unfortunately it was a mistake yeah it was i i did it I did a video as her in my pajamas, no makeup on my couch. It's 11 seconds. And I was like, I too went to La Universidad de Boston. And that's all I said, I think. Next thing I know, the L.A. Times was like TikToker and a Roisman. And I was like, oh, my God.

My life has changed. So that was the first big thing that popped off? For like TikTok? Kind of. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. That and my Steve.

Those were like the two ones that helped me in the beginning. I think we met you in person, maybe. last year, Taylor Strecker's podcast, relaunch, I think, but we followed each other. I think we had done some stand-up shows together, too. Yes, after that. Yes. Like at the stand and stuff. Yeah.

But I think Steve was probably like what got started to me. But so we were here top five. Let's just try. Are you so, you hate this. I love it. Okay. This is your legacy. Yeah.

So we have Chris, Steve, Hilaria. Uh-huh. Are those your top three? That I do? Yeah, I guess those are the top three. I love doing Bethany Frankel online. I do like all her. like eating.

You just scream it's sick. Yeah. Sick and sane. And I love doing, I do Joan Rivers for years for every award show. She's like my favorite to do because I write the jokes for her, you know, like I have to. Yeah. Well, yeah, you were just saying you do, you were doing some of Melissa Rivers. Yeah.

I just did her podcast. Yeah. She found me because she liked my impression of her mom. And I was like to have her blessing. Oh my gosh. That could go the other way, you know. She's like, I've seen a bunch of them. They're all kind of like bad like drag performances of her.

Like you really got her essence. And I was like, well, I am a Jewish woman who carries a Gucci bag. I can't imagine that what is the biggest compliment. It's scary. Joan River is such a legend. Her daughter's like, I like your impression of my dead mom. And we had a three-hour dinner in L.A. And like she was the fucking, she's the coolest.

Okay, then that brings me to my next question. Have any other of these celebrities reach, what's Hillary Baldwin think of this? The stuff you do of her is so insulting. But it's like, that's what she's like. But you guys collabed. We collabed. We can't get into it.

We collabed. It was a moment. It was a 20 minute experience. Oh, it was like a show. I brought a bodyguard because I was like, I could get poisoned. Like, this is how I go. Because I didn't think she liked it. That wasn't.

No, no. I never ever went there with any of my content. I was like, that's sad. That's unfortunate. No, it was awful. You were doing this video stretching by the pool and like your butthole just in the air. I can't get over it. It's so funny.

You guys have to go to her Instagram. Oh, my God. Thank you. No, I didn't think she liked it. Then she was like, I can be funny. I was like, great, let's do a video together. Like, let's break the internet bitch. And then we did this video, we didn't speak in it.

What? We look alike. So we like did a little twin moment. And then all of the people who hate her came to my Instagram and were like, you've crossed over to the dark side. I'm like, what? I just met her for five minutes. Oh, like now I'm in with her.

In with her. Now we're best friend. She's not Donald Trump. Like, she's just a celebrity you can like her. Like, she shouldn't be so polarized. And she was, like, very nice. We had a very fine time. Like, there's no, like, do people still have an issue that she, like, she does have an accent.

It's the call. I think people should have a problem with the cultural appropriation, right? That's the main issue with her. Yeah. Wait, I always forget. She forgot. She's not. She's not.

She's not. She's not. No. No. Family went to my Yorka a lot. One time. Okay. She's from, like, Tampa.

And she went to college in Boston? She went to, okay. She's from Boston. She went to NYU. Okay. Right. Okay. The appropriation.

I get it. All of her kids are named like Hispanic names and she's like my little bantitos and like she pretends to be Hispanic. That was my bit. I used to always do the names. So I'd be like Carmen, Rafa, Tapatio. Like I just start listing like any. But if she is an advocate for the Latin community, she could turn this around for her. Is she an advocate or she's just like a cultural appropriationist?

I'm saying she could be. This is the people's issue with Gwen Stefani. They're like, you need to. be an advocate for Asian culture if you were going to appropriate all these years. People have said that. Wow. And when it was like Asians were like being targeted, it was like, where's Gwen? Because you profited off this culture.

Where was she? Yeah, she showed off. She was with Blake Shelton. She's on the voice. She's on the church. She's on the voice. Okay. So how, when did you start doing impressions?

I'm fascinated by people who do impressions. Like, are you in your room alone? Like, do you film them? Are you in the mirror? I just am really... I started a long time ago. I did like UCB stuff when I first moved to New York.

But like as a kid, always I would impersonate people. I would prank call my grandma all the time and pretend to be like her friends from high school until she believed me. Like she was from like Queens. She'd call your mom like, can you get Anna off the phone?

Wait, did she even know it was you? Probably not. Right. That's what I said. You committed. I had so much, I'm so good at prank calls like still to this day.

But that was back in the day. But yeah, I would always like, you know, I'd be like the spice girls or I'd do like a full Britney concert. Like I always wanted to be like I could do these people's voices. I was like, wow, mom, I sound like Celine Dion. She's probably like, you don't, but I keep trying. Yeah. So I love doing it.

But then when I got to New York, I like, I don't know, I took UCB classes. I was like, wait, I can like, people used to say I looked like Sarah Silverman because, you know, if you're a Jewish brunette who does comedy immediately. I know it. I know you are. And I love her. So I started doing her. She was like one of my first because I was like, wait, if you do people you look like,

then it like translates more. Yeah, that's a good gateway. Yeah. And then I gave up on it for a while. Not gave up, but I just like, I don't know. I didn't like stick with it. I started doing stand-up and I was like into that for a long time and like hosting. And then in the pandemic when we were in lockdown, I was like, Steve.

This TikTok thing, I could maybe like put on a wig, you know, and like just let loose. We were all losing our fucking minds. I think Steve is my one of my faves because it's like a gender swap. and you'd nail it still. It's so random. I would do that around the apartment in lockdown and my boyfriend would laugh and he's seen all my tricks and I was like,

this must be so funny if Jared's laughing. Like, he's over it. You know, he's seen anything I can do. And I'd walk in the room of the bathroom and be like, maybe I'm gonna. But like, I'm trying to think of like the male impressionist who are hot right now. Do they ever do women?

You can't come across insulting, but I'm saying like for a woman to do a man and really nail it is impressive. Like Mike Myers was like good at women, but like, yeah. Who would he do? Like, like, Linda Richmond and he did like all those like female characters. Okay. I guess they're not as much as impressions, but do you have like, my dream would be, is it S&L or is it just like you, you do so much stuff? Thanks. It's just like I'm going to

keep doing, I'm going to keep doing all this stuff. I don't have to pick a thing. Yeah. I mean, my dream was to be Jimmy Kimmel. Like, like it sounds bad, you know, like where I could do sketches and I could do, like Fallon, like a late night show where I can host, I can interview people. putting it on fire and you were like finally that was my inn yeah a couple days later you're like god damn you know when he goes away for the summer and they have all the guests hosts like whenever it's a woman they're like finally a woman and it's like the joke every woman makes because they're like I've got two days on this show right here we go yeah that would be like my dream I think to have my own show okay I love SNL but like I kind of I don't know that was a dream like 15 years ago uh-huh it's an antiquated dream you know that I'm like if that

popped I have auditioned in the last few years and I was kind of like really you're going to me, but okay. You'll always audition. So you mentioned your boyfriend. You guys been together for 10 years? Nine. Nine. Yeah.

And his name is Jared? Jared. Yes. Jared. Okay. Jared. Sorry. We love Jared.

You can say it. Where are you guys both from? I'm from Philly. Oh, okay. You are? Yeah. Like, Go Birds, Philly? Go birds.

I'm from Laura Marion. Okay. So I'm right outside of Philly. Okay. Where are you from? I'm from Delaware. Okay. So suburban.

Yeah. And Jared's from Allentown. So. Okay. Okay. love it. Yeah. We're Pennsylvania people.

Okay. Me too. Okay. It identifies Pennsylvania person. How'd you guys mean? We met at UCB at a show. At a show. This world too?

A little bit. He's a producer. He does documentaries, but back in the day he was doing more like, he did like sketch comedy. And we met at UCB at the bar, like the UCB East Village. Do you remember that? Yes. Like the best theater.

And we did this show where I was like the standup who had to judge some like improv competition and he was an improviser. Oh my God. I'm like, I wish I could just be like hinge. And it was a bit. media chemistry. No, this is so much better. It was a media chemistry. No, I had a friend who was like, she's like, Anna, me, Jared, me, Anna, you guys should like hang out.

Like, maybe I'll put us all in a group text. We should all, like, go to a bar. I was like, what is she doing? Like, I have a rotation right now. I was in my slettiest phase ever. I was, like, enjoying life. I was like, sorry, guys, I have to leave this comedy theater because I'm hooking up with a drummer and he has a show tonight, like in the East Village. I was like, bye. Yeah, sorry. Sorry nerds. I'm dating a music. Yeah. You fucking losers. You improvise. Yeah, have fun with a little comedy sketch.

Literally. I'm off to fuck this drummer. I remind him every day. I'm like, remember the night we met and I left to go hook up with the drummer? Did it take him a while to like, wear you down? Like you just stop fucking all these drummers? It took like two weeks. Okay.

You were into it. Okay. I was into it. Well, yeah, my friend brought him to a birthday party, a birthday dinner. And I was like, Katie, no one's fucking, I was like, no one's bringing friends. There's 12 people going to this dinner. No one's bringing friends. She's like, oh, I asked if I could bring a plus one.

I go, what? For me? She saw it for you. She saw it. We got super drunk and I was like, you know when you're like on a moxicillic. You're like, no, but tell me about it. Maybe I will be. I have like strep throat.

Yeah, totally. But I'm at the end. I'm like better. I'm dealing with the UTI. Yeah. I was like better, but like still on the meds. So we go out and I had like jello shots. I don't know what we did that night.

And we were like making out in a cab. And I was like, I guess that was fun. I guess you're my boyfriend now. I haven't had a jello shot on a mok's. oxicillins since 05 and water rush. No, it's good. Just bring me right back. It's nice on your throat.

Yeah. I got kicked off a dance floor for mooning. I pulled my dress up and I was like, take a photo of me. That was your first date. That was literally your first date. That's crazy. That's why, yeah. When you come to our apartment and people ask for our Wi-Fi password, it's RIP,

send your frogs because that's where it all went down. It's senior frogs. In New York. Yeah, my friend had a joke dinner in Times Square. You found love at Senior Frogs. I did. New goal unlocked. I've had sex after going there.

I've always wanted to do those things in New York. I always want to go to Olive Garden for New Year's Eve and see the ball drop. Isn't it like $1,000 doing for dinner at Olive Garden? I can't afford it. Yeah, now we can finally afford to go to Olive Garden. They sell that experience. Yeah. You can be in the restaurant.

But like a Marker Radiville of Senior Frogs in Manhattan is so funny to me. Have you gone in the Cancun? I have. Yeah. Maybe like spring break in college. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Can I, we also talk about your camel toe. shoes. I was like, wow, really want to the jugular. Do you want to talk about which camel to? They're just so fun.

Is that like, are they supposed to be? Yeah. They're fake of the like, what are they? The tabbies. Yeah, these are like,

actually has like a long history with camel toe, yeah. Have you ever done the shoe? No, I feel like it's really un-bred and just the big fupitwa long concerning vagina. I got a DM once.

It was like, the length of your vagina is concerning. Well, I'm thinking about like the second episode of the podcast and that homeless guy yelled, whoa, cameltoe are you.

Yeah. And I went on a tour called the Cameltoe tour. Yeah, this was like early days in the podcast. And I was walking home from a workout class of these bright blue pants on and just feeling myself, I'd just done Pilates or whatever. And this homeless man got right in my face and was like, whoa, Cameltoe. I was shocked. It really.

We are. I couldn't believe it. Union Square Park, right? I was in Union Square. Oh, my God. I love that you were like, you know what? I'm going to turn into a brand. And we're going to go.

I did. And I extended the bit out and said, I went. going home and took him off and brought him back to him. And then she launched a comedy stand-up tour. There you go. I doubt it. Yeah. So we have a long history with the camel to-

but anyway. Are these bringing back trauma? Yeah. No, I'm just. No success. Do you want to trade? A huge success. Okay.

So we have like dating stuff we want to talk to you about today. I love it. But I do want to talk a little bit more about your career and like putting yourself out there on the Internet and everybody has hesitation or doubt with putting themselves out there. Do you feel that or you just like send it? Like I don't care. It's funny.

I have like maybe 20 videos I've never put out. Like I'm hard on myself. Yeah. But I also don't give a shit. Like I'm like if I think it's funny, I'm putting it out. Okay. Sometimes I'll have these ideas and it'll take me a while. And I know that's when you're like, no, stop.

Like just put it out. You wanted to do that. And some fail. And you kind of have to like just throw shit against the wall, I think. Right? Like. Yeah. Totally.

I mean, that's with anybody who is doing anything. comedy related and impression sketches just I think it takes guts to do. Yeah. Because yes, of course you're like, I think this is funny, obviously. Right. But how do I know? And are people going to say things? And I think what's hard is like people are used to certain things. So I know like if I put out a Chris Jenner, those do really well. But if I want to put out like a clip from my stand-up show last week, it's not going to do as well because people don't, that won't be pushed around. Like, but I'm also like, you know what? care like just that's what I have to force myself to do is like no if that's something you do and you

want people to know you do like just put it out i just i wonder if like you probably didn't even think of this when you started doing the steve impression but like you were on the what the red carpet for the and just like that premiere this year like when you put that out to begin with did you think such a thing whatever happened no not even five minutes before i got there i was like wait he could be here i haven't mentally prepared for this moment and you're just on the red carpet for bravo con yeah that was so fun i did luan with luan oh my god And she's so fun. The best.

She was the fucking coolest. But I like that also everybody says like you start to be in this one category and people want more of it. You have to stay in this box. And I just don't think you can do that forever. And Kate Steinberg is a perfect example. She's like, I have this millennial content. And I get so anxious about putting out anything other than that.

But you just have to. You have to let people know you have a range. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're a person with. Yeah. Not just a character. You have other interests?

Yeah, totally. It's funny, I've been, I love soup as a food. I tried to not talk about it that much because it was my whole personality. It was. Was it? And I dressed up as soup for a Halloween show. Oh my God. Like a can of Campbell's.

Wait, I, so I did 15 episodes of me making soups in the pandemic. Wait, I did too. Are you serious? I just would bang them out all the time. Me too. I would just do like 15 story slides of one soup. I would call a soup queen and I was like every episode had like a genre of music and I'd wear some weird ass outfit.

and I loved it. And then like I just like didn't do that. I did like a partnership with like Campbell's. I was like, wait, this is it. But I'm, oh, you like reach the top level. I fucking, well, you know, I would say the money wasn't top level. But it was like, you know, I was like, this is so fun. And I haven't done it in a long time.

And I miss the soups. And so I've been like slowly putting them out. They get no hits. But I'm like, they're like, make the soup as Christian or else. Yeah. No, people are like, you know, do that. Do it as Bethany. And I'm like, maybe I'll like incorporate a line or two.

But like, no, like, I. also am Anna who fucking loves soup. I make a good ass soup and you're going to enjoy it. So the OG fans like it. I miss making a soup. I'm dynamic. People used to message me like, where did the soups go? Get back on the soup.

We've got a whole network waiting for us. We should collab on soup. I would love to. I have like three that I haven't edited yet that I'm like, got to get that beef vegetable out. Does your boyfriend do anything with you? Yes, a lot. He does.

I just haven't seen him. I'm not getting served him. I'm only getting served to you. He doesn't post anything. Is he still a comedian and an improper? No, not really. He's adjacent. He works in documentary.

He produces documentaries. And yeah, I mean, he'll do stuff with me. Like, you know, he's played roles in my stuff or shoot. He's the role playing. He's still my bitch. You know, he's my assistant slash producer slash director. We made a lot of content in the pandemic together. We would do these like recreations of movies.

He's acted before. He has this like cult horror movie, which every so often on my comments, they'll be like, is that Tony from Hell House? No, this movie was 10 years ago. No, but like it's one of those things. Yes. And like last year at the Alamo, he had a screening and did a Q&A and all these fans are like, I've been waiting for, I'm like, wait, this movie came out 10 years.

Was he a big part of Hellhouse? Okay, was it indie or? Yeah, it was an indie. Do you know what reference? Johnny Drama? Johnny Drama and Autourage? Is that called following? That's a great reference.

Viking Quest. Wow, Rainey. You really pulled that out. That was a good one. Yeah, I would not have gone to my head. I don't know how I did that, honestly. I don't even remember what happened this morning. That's so fair. That's such a good comparison.

So we have questions for you. Is it really gory? Oh, that's not like that was my question. Yeah, it's kind of gory. Is it? It's like a found footage movie. Like Blair Witch, where they like act like it's like them shooting it. Okay.

Just going to take a quick break. I'm telling you guys about Boland Branch. These are the sheets that I have exclusively. I have three pairs. and two pairs sets. Pairs of sheets. Set. That's the word.

Pairs are crazy. I have my three sets. I have white, a cream color, and like a beige color. Like a stone on my hand to it. Yeah. Yeah, you have some great colors. And then I have two duvet covers. So I just am always in Bowling Branch.

I'm obsessed with these sheets. And they are such a great gift for, again, for anyone on your list. I think this is one of the best because you can give people. I mean, I don't know. I think everyone could use an extra set of sheets, you know, and just have them in their rotation. Betting is the perfect gift. Betting, it truly is a perfect gift. And this is just something that people might want to upgrade. You know, people want like new appliances, luggage, phone, accessories, things like that.

But how you sleep is the most important thing. So I think the betting is where to start if you're upgrading anyone or yourself. So it is their best sale of the year happening now 25% offsite wide. So start with their best selling signature sheets. It's the perfect balance of softness and breathability for your best sleep. The signature sheets get softer with every wash. They're made with the highest quality, 100% organic cotton. all of their bedding from blankets and throws to pillows and duvets are made with exceptional quality

and durability and everything is on sale. There's a 30-night guarantee so you can shop worry-free. I mean, the packaging is great too. I love the box that it comes in, and it's really just like a nice elevated unboxing experience. And I haven't slept on anything other than these in, I don't know, years. And they do really get softer with every wash. I'm just so obsessed. The quality is amazing.

They're not baggy. You know, I hate a baggy sheet. I don't hate that fit the bed perfectly. So I am such a fan of it. Rain is too. You can give yourself and your loved ones the most extraordinary feeling sleep with 25% off sitewide, plus free shipping and extended returns during Bowlin Branch's best sale of the year. Shop now at bolandbranch.com slash GGE with code GGE.

That's Boland branch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com slash G-G-E for 25% off. Exclusions apply. And this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. So this is the website platform that Ashley and I have always used for Girls Got to Eat. And it does literally everything. So we sell tickets on it. We sell merch on it. We have the whole catalog of all our episodes on it.

All of our partners are on there. There's so many ways that this is going to help you. So if you have like a side hustle and you feel like the only thing standing in your way from growing your business is a website, Squarespace is going to be the first place to go. So they have great design intelligence. They're going to have all these AI features for you guys to build a beautiful website. It's going to look professional. It's going to look amazing.

You don't have to have any background in design whatsoever. And I think it's a little intimidating. So they're going to help you with that. They have Squarespace payments. So if you want to take payments all in one place, they'll help you connect your social accounts and all these multimedia accounts. You can sell content.

There's SEO tools. I mean, it is really a one-stop shop and it's really user-friendly. So if you've never built a website ever, this is going to make it easy and simple for you. And don't let building a website stand in between you and launching a new business because we really do everything on it. So easy to use.

So, and I built a new website on it. So, you know, check that out on Monday, a week from today. Maybe you'll find some stuff on it. You guys can add to Squarespace.com slash GGE for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use GGE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Okay. I have a question. So you and him have been together for nine years.

Yeah. At what point did people start asking, when are you guys going to get married? And when do people stop asking? Oh, I love this. And what is your answer for this? This is the best question. Okay. I'd say a year or two in. Once we moved in together, they were like, when you're getting married, you guys lived in together. We moved in after a year because we both lived with exes in New York and we were like, why the fuck will we not? Well, we pay two rents for each of us to have our own apartments. Right. Yeah. We spend every night together. Yeah. And I'd say they stopped like a couple years ago. It's like, whoo, finally. Like after year six, they're like, oh, I guess that's not. Six. Okay. So six years. Well, what was your answer? So for five years. You have to have the whole. I still on.

In a while interrogation. You know, new people. They'll be like nine years. You're not married. I love talking about it on stage too. We ask from just curiosity. Yeah. Because out of respect.

I'll say this. For everybody, you know. Yeah. I never like was one of those people that was like, I need to get married. Like I have a dream wedding. I never cared about that. I was like, I need to be successful. Like I only cared about my career.

Game recognized game. Yeah. You know. And then, you know, and he wasn't really like obsessed with getting married or he was like, whatever you want to do. Like, I don't care. If I was tomorrow, if I woke up and I was like, I want to get married, let's get married tomorrow. He'd be like, okay.

Right. You're like, I just want a really big closet. Yeah, exactly. That's me. He's like, shut out your ring. You're like, no, I get me a really big closet. That's literally me every day. I am Carrie Bradshaw.

I make him watch it every other week. And I'm like, there's the closet. Get it for me. But that's his work out. So you don't care if you get married. That's not a thing. And people just finally stop. Here's when I want to get married.

When I can do it myself. So when we first started dating, my sister was getting married. I did not take. Jared to the wedding because I was like, I've been with him like two, three months. Oh, okay. He's not coming to, she got married in Colorado. I'm not bringing him there to like a wedding with family. That's how I thought about her wedding.

I had people I could have like invited as a guest, but I was like, I know everybody in this room. You were a huge part of it. Like, same like sisters. It would have been weird to be like, yeah, like to bring somebody like my sister's wedding who was like a, and you're like, I don't, yeah. Who would be bothered? There's going to be so many questions and like you have a big role in the weekend.

I was like, I'm going to, I'm doing, I'm doing a stand up set here. Exactly. Yeah, right. I'm planning this wedding. Okay, so my sister's wedding. And watching my mom plan my sister's wedding, I mean, there were months we didn't talk. She was a fucking nightmare.

And I'm really close with my mom. But there was just, it was drama from day one. And I was like, I could never let this happen. Like, this will ruin us if she throws a wedding, if she plans a wedding for me.

How old was your sister at the time? 27, 26. Because I said this throughout Ashley's whole wedding planning. I planned a wedding when I was like 28. And every minute of it was like being tortured because I wasn't paying for. It was constant. Yeah, because it's like, my mom, we were called her bridezilla. We were like, it's her wedding.

Like, she's paying so she can make the calls. We paid for all of it. Right. I paid for most of it. And my parents didn't weigh in at all. And they're just so, my two parents are so chill. My mom wouldn't have the first thing. She wouldn't have cared either way.

I think my mom would have been annoyed if she had to plan it. But my mom's like, if I wasn't a dentist, I would do this as a career. And we were like, should. Please do it for someone else. Torture people. Literally. Torture your children. I think she flew to Colorado to do the tasting by herself because.

my sister was in law school and was like, I don't care what the food tasting. That is so funny. We didn't even do it tasting. But it's, we did our wedding recap. It came out a couple days ago. I know. I want to listen to it. I've seen the teasing of it.

Check it out because the first thing I started with was like, you should have your dream wedding. Yeah. Because you really don't get to have that experience again where you're surrounded by all those people. Have you ever heard somebody say I don't want to get married because my mom ruined wedding planning for me? It makes sense.

I mean, I'm thinking I had a friend. It just, I swear, and her family had a lot of money, and this was in Atlanta. They were just high society people, so it was going to be this fancy wedding, and it had to be done the way the parents would approve it. And I just didn't see her for a year. Like, I don't think we ever hung out. Every weekend had to be something with her parents, like whatever tasting shopping trip. Like, it took over her life, and I don't think she liked that either. But we finally got her back.

Friends to wedding planning. They'll be like, oh, I just have so much to do for the wedding. and you're like in six months? I think it's weird. There was a good chunk of time that we didn't have to do much and that was like the bulk of my tour. Those last few weeks were insane

and the beginning was a little picking a venue and all that stuff. And then it really should not be that intense. But it truly takes people's life over for a year. Yeah. So that's how we'll do it. We'll plan it on our own. When I have the money to plan my dream wedding, I would absolutely do it.

Yeah. But for now I'm like, or if we won't and we'll just like go away or buy a house. I don't know. Totally. Right. We'll use our money for other stuff. I think that's probably what trips a lot of people up is like feeling that their partner

won't be on board with marrying them when they want to get married. I think you're so the opposite. You're like, well, I'll do it if we feel like it. Yeah. And people are like, why don't you just go to City Hill? I'm like, because that's not my dream wedding. Like if I get married, I'm going to have a big party and like invite people. Like I'm not just, I don't need to be married.

Yeah. So do you guys want kids? No. Okay. Never want. I mean, I kind of figured. I said that like day one of day. I was like, I don't want.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, do you? And he was like, no, I've never really wanted kids. But again, if I was like, I could, if I wanted a kid, he would be like, okay, I guess we'll have a kid. Like, I'm that, I have that much influence over this man. I actually find, and that's probably because I'm 40 and men that I'm dating,

probably would have had children by now if they wanted to. But most men that I go on dates, I always bring it off first date. And most men that I've dated, my experience has been, they've been like, if the person I'm dating wanted kids, I would. And if they didn't, I don't care that much. Like, that's been more my, I've only really run into two. two people in the last couple years that have been like my, my dream, my non-negotiable is children. And both of them are fucking trash.

So not because of that. They're like, I got to keep this bloodline going. Not, they're not trash because of that. They're just trash people. But everybody else just had been like, if my girl's happy, I'm happy. Yeah. We have two dogs and we're like, we'll have a lot more dogs in our life. 100%.

We had Taylor Strucker on the show last week. This episode will come out one week before you. And she's going to be a dad. Taylor Stregor is going to. Taylor already has a dad. You know what I mean? We had a real moment with her. Wasn't Taylor Donah who like, I mean, I would have probably been fine if we didn't have a kid.

Taylor Starker was like, excuse me? She's like, you fucking tell me now? She told me when I was co-hosting and I'll never. I was like, wait, this is real. You're going to be a parent? I was like, wait, what? Hold on. She's so open.

I mean, that's the, like, you're our people. I love that was she. People that are like open about all the things and their decisions and inside of their relationship. We've had a lot of people on this show that we've, seen change their minds quite a bit. Like they're out on it, then they're in, they're out. And just, I don't know, I think you change your mind as life goes on. Yeah.

I wanted to live in New York. I wanted to live in L.A. and I want to live New York. But Ali Colbert also just came to the show, talked about it. Oh my way here. She's great. She was like, are you going to this event tonight? I'm like, I'm in L.A.

Aw. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about living with a man in a New York City apartment? I love it. Like, do you guys need to get the, I find it so fascinating. I've never done it. I've never done it.

I've done it three times. And I'm just like, nine years strong. Like, do you ever need your space? Yeah, well, you know, we moved to L.A. In 2022, we had a two bed, two bath. We were like, oh. You did tell me this. And then we got stuck in New York.

We kept our apartment. We had subletted it to a friend. And then we got stuck in New York. And we're back in our one bed in New York. Listen, we live in the best area. We have a great building. I love our apartment. But yeah, we need our fucking space.

Now that we're like a year back into it, I'm like, remember when we had like rooms we had like different closets even like yeah more than just a room I lived in a studio with a man oh no that no I lived in a room with a man a room could you put a prison cell he cheated on me all the time he was like you're a dude palmy for living in this room with you cheat on you all the time he worked at a hotel he cheated on me or I know he was that person oh my god I lived in a studio with my ex and I always am like that was probably the end you know once you get that one room The one room.

I'm like too hot. I can't picture it. It makes me like a hard. I think that like I moved in New York when I was 22. So like I was, it's not like I once I could see and now I was blind. Yeah. Or once I was blind. What's the?

Yep. Do you know what I mean? Like I never lived in. Now I can see. Yeah. I never knew anything different. Yeah. I moved straight there from college.

So it wasn't like I had a bunch of space and I was like, then it was taken away from me like it's going to be when I moved back. So like it's, I never thought about it. Totally. I lived in a one bedroom apartment two days. different boyfriends. And I mean, it's still small. I mean, you go and cry in the bathroom. I mean, you just have to cry in the bathroom. Yeah, you cry in the bathroom. You have, you know, ones in the living room and one's in the bedroom. Do you guys have, like,

common areas in your building? You can go and like, okay. Well, we have like a full building, you know, we've got space. I think that's like the way to go. If you can, you know, afford it and live in a building with like some common areas to be like, I just got, I can go. I don't have to leave the premises, but I'm going to just go. We're also super codependent after being in lockdown together. So I'm like, even when I leave. I'm like, are you there? And he's like, you were five minutes ago. Like, that's how we were for a while. It's really cute. It's like psycho though. No, it's really cute. I think it's really cute. Do you guys share locations? No. I've never shared a location with anyone. Except my friend,

we have to talk about this immediately. Okay, I talked about this the other day with someone. Wait, who's Andy? This is so funny. I don't know how this happened. Andy is Jared and my friend. And we love Andy, but for some reason, he's on both of our, we can see Andy's location. And it's like this running joke because we're like, we'll be at dinner and we're like, oh my God, look, Andy's in the area. He doesn't even live near us. He lives like south Brooklyn and we're like, oh, there's Andy. And he's the only person on my, I don't know how it happened.

I think he did it. He shared it is what happened. Wait, what neighborhood do you live in? Williamsburg. Okay, that's what I thought. William's Berg. Okay, great. I'm going to guess which building you live in later.

But okay, I want to talk about location sharing. We haven't really talked about this on the show. We were talking about doing a whole episode about it. Oh my God. So it's just never really come up? Never come up. Where the hell's day are going to go? Of course.

No, it's not about trust. Like, that's the thing. But I do think for some people. For some people, sorry. That's the whole thing. There's just so much nuance and stuff to discuss here. But when we say like, you know it has nothing to do with you don't trust it. Like I just think like, he can't see me a location.

I'm like, yeah, I'm on the train. I'm like blow drying my fucking hair. That's the thing. You can't lie. Well, now I have to tell her. So I have everyone's location. There's almost no ones I don't have except for Ashley's. Oh my God.

People that I used to date. I have all of our business partners location. You open it up. You know where everyone is. All of our friends. Ashley's the only person I don't share locations with. I share with my family. I share it with everybody except for her because she won't share hers with me.

And I did have yours for a little while. I didn't even tell you this. I didn't even tell you this. I didn't even tell you this. I hit this for you for a while. This is a big reveal. So one time you accidentally shared your location on the group chat with me, Jackie, and Taylor.

Like we all shared our locations for something and you didn't turn yours off. So it shared it with that group. So every time I want to know where you were, I would have to find that group chat. Oh, because it was in the chat? This went on for like a month. And then you turned it off. You must have accidentally turned it off.

And I was like, damn it. I feel so honored to be here for this moment. Wow. I'm trying to remember why. Because you lie about where you are. I do you see? I don't know. I am working on it.

I am late. Do you share yours with your family? Yeah, my brother and I've always shared. But it's like, what does it even matter? I mean, sometimes I guess it comes in handy. I like seeing my brothers. Yeah. That's good.

My parents probably, maybe. I turned my dad on. Oh yeah, we do have my parents. We do it my parents. Because you got to keep track of them and stuff. Yeah. See what they're up to. My parents, my dad, he'll complain if I leave a voicemail.

He's like, I don't want to check that. Don't leave them. I'm like, okay. I love that energy. He only texts if there's like an emergency. We got a text. I'm like someone died. Like something's wrong.

Why is he contacting me? You know? So location? No. I have people that I don't even want them to know. I still have it. Yeah. It's crazy that you do.

I only shared it with one person for quite a long time, which was our video guy. I'm just picturing you in your apartment with like, you know, just like red string. The red string. Yeah. Like, okay, he's there. She is. He doesn't know. You pictured it correctly.

Okay, so it just never came up, which I respect it. Yeah. Should I do it tonight? Should I be like, what I'm just? What's your location? I can be kind of needy. And like, I will ask Shishonk, like, hey, What's near me?

Like I'll just be, I might need him. No, that's me. I'll be like, I'm in an Uber and I'm starving and I don't know where to go. Literally. When I was like, where's gas close by? And he'll like, help me. Like, he has really handicapped me in that way. Yeah.

Like, I just rely on him a lot. Yeah. And I like him knowing where I am and what I'm doing and like guiding me through life. I'm like an independent woman, but me too. Okay, we're very similar. When my ex and I broke up, my parents were literally like, who's going to do the one? I was like, fuck you. I know how to do laundry.

They're like, you've never done it. He's always done the laundry. That is so funny. Your first thing your parents say, not consoling you. They're like, oh, shh. We're going to teach her. Are you going to be able to eat? Like, do you know where things are?

I cannot wait until the day that we share locates. You know that all of our friends have my location. I can't wait for the day you share location. I'm going to share mine with you guys. We'll start tonight. That's it. You're going to have me as your Andy. Okay.

I love this. It's also, it's like, every time we go on a trip with somebody. Somebody's always just like, where are you? almost here and I'll just share my location and then it's rude if they don't share it back. Oh yeah. There's a Medicaid to it. I gotta get them all. So I've just got them all.

Except for Ashley. We'll revisit it tonight at dinner. We've been together all day. We've been to go to dinner and again tonight. I'll take a break and get a manicure at some point. All right. So you said that a lot of friends come to you because you've been in this long term relationship.

Seems really healthy and stable and for dating advice. Yeah, I love dating advice. So is this just like we got to talk to Anna because she gets it? Like does this? I think I'm blunt with you. people. Okay. I love that. So I think like, you know, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I'm like, this person doesn't care about you. Like get rid of them. I don't know. I set people up before too. Everyone I've set up has hooked up. So I'm like a, like I was like, wait, I know how to

get people late. Wait, you should hug me up with somebody. But they don't, I will. Okay. But they don't date. You know what I mean? Is Andy available? No, they don't date. Apparently Andy had a kid recently. Like he's a bummer. Where is he right now? Hold on. Let me check. That's a funny niche. You were like everybody I hook up together just sleeps together, but they don't eat. I used to do this show, and it was called The Unemployed show, and it was a live show that I would do every week. And I was like, the matchmaking episodes. And I would pick people that I think would be a good match.

And they would come on the show after and report back about the date. And they were always so awkward. And I was like, oh, so you guys fucked. And they were like, oh, my God. I'm like, are you dating? And they're like, no, I don't think we'll do it again. And I was like, okay, great. Well, I got everyone laid.

That is really funny. One fun night. that's you. That was, yeah, you have a sense for people who have sexual chemistry. Yeah, just, yeah. Okay.

Well, you could toss that my way too. Okay, I love that. Yeah, just throw my way. You have to come to New York. I'm there every week. She's there. She's there. I know, I like, see her going to,

like, can we hang out? Where are we eating the night? She's like, and has your location. I'll be there for like two weeks of December. Ashley would be with me. Yeah, I'll be there. Oh, great. Yeah, we can all hang out.

You should come to our holiday show. Oh, my God. Would love. Okay, perfect. Okay, so we're going to do some of these emails. They're all kind of in the should I break up with them. Great. Vane.

And you can pick what impression you want to answer that. No, I'm just kidding. Can you just go right into an impression? Sure. Okay. You don't have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you feel like something.

My brain was like, should I bring a wig? Because when I do a podcast, a lot of people are like, do your SNL audition. We like you for you. Thanks. Thanks. No, I was like, no, I'm going to dress cute and have fun. No, it's really, it's up to you. But all right, should we start?

Let's just ramp up. So these are real emails that we got from our listeners. As opposed to fake. Well, last week's episode was the fake ones. The fake ones. Well, I was writing myself emails from chat GBT. Fan mail. Okay.

I've had an issue with my phone all day. My friend's like, well, let's ask chat GPT. And I was like, about my iPhone. Like, he was like, I ask everything. Just ask. Everything. I never do it. I don't do it.

I really want to rely on my own brain and my own creativity. But when I do ask it stuff, I have to tell you, the candle from the wedding that I was like, I need a cute. I also don't have it, so my mix shahs don't do it. I don't have either. I'll be like, babe, can you ask Chachachibati? This is my neediness and my codependency. I'm like, babe, can you ask Chachapit, what's a cute slogan for a custom candle with our dog for the wedding gift bags?

And they wrote out for better or for worse. That wasn't even me. So I told her, like, I don't think Chachabee can write comedy and I don't think that I'd be apprised themselves in doing comedy would have them write jokes. But it's great for thought starters. It's great for, like, you write me a slogan. I used it to write some coffee for our Fives-only website. I like, it's great for that. It really is.

I did ask my mom, what should I wear to this event I was going to? And she goes, ask chat GPT. I go, I'm sorry, what? Your mom?

Yeah. Your mom's like, you're so old. My tennis friends and I, we ask it all the time. When we have an email, we don't want to write back, we just ask it to do it.

And I was like, 100%. Yes. I do therapy on it. Wow. Yeah. Chat Chachyp. Can you talk dirty to it?

So there's a couple parameters. It won't be super sexual. It won't be sort of sexual. Is it like, I talk dirty to Siri. I like test her, you know. It'll be like, hey Siri or like. What are you wearing?

ChatGBT. They'll say this crosses the bounds. Like sometimes if I use it for vibes only stuff, it will say this is too far. Also, I tried to get it to change the background on this photo of mine the other day. And it said this like materially changes the photo and we can't alter images of people like this. But could you say like give me a sexy compliment? Yeah. But it won't be like, I want to eat that pussy.

Your hair is shining. Like you could say like, like. The rights are saying, like, punch it up more and make it spicier, but there is, like, a limit. I just want to test the limit. And if it's like, you know, you look really good in that dress, it's like, well, how about my tits? Like, make it try to get it there. They look perky.

You'll test it out. It would probably say they look perky. It's like a PG version. It's pretty, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So this email was titled, Help, my partner's hygiene is coming between us. She says, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend, 29, for seven months now, and everything

is going wonderfully. I really believe I found my life partner. There's just one thing. His lack of personal hygiene can be a turnoff. Can be a turnoff. He showers a couple times per week, and he has extreme levels of dandruff. It doesn't seem like he cleans his ears,

and he'll poke around in there. Where? And then touch me. His oral health standards are lacking, and could stand to wash his hands more regularly, especially after a day out around the city with me. He'll do an activity like rock climbing or biking and then not feel the need to shower after.

Ashley made me keep this in. I was like, this makes me sick. I thought she was going to say and fingers me after, which would be a hard line. Honestly, that's not as bad as getting in the bed.

Yeah, she says, the last thing I want to do is have this conversation and offend or embarrass him, but I do wish something would change, especially because it's impacting

how attracted I am to him and how physically close I want to be or can stand to be. How do I communicate my feelings compassionately without hurting his feelings? I appreciate any advice you can give me. This will get you laid more. That's what you're.

you say to him, I would love to suck your dick more. Here's how you can help yourself. Please take a shower. This really is tough. Because it's such a lifestyle. Like, showers a couple times a week. Like, how do you get someone that does that to shower daily? Yeah.

That seems like a huge jump. So as someone who doesn't like to shower. Yeah. I will say, I shower daily. I don't want to. I hate being wet and I hate being cold. But I do it because I want the people around me not talk about me. Like, I want people to think that.

it's nice to have me around, that I smell nice, that I've, like, brushed my teeth and cleaned my ears. Like, yeah, I miss COVID all the time. I miss not having to shower or do anything. But I live in society, and I have to. And listen, I'm trying to, like, make fun of him, but, like, this is just, like, cleanliness standards for... Yeah. Also, the way she writes his email, is acting like, it's, like, an emotional problem, and it's like, it's not. When you're, like, compatible with someone, you want to live with someone, like, those are important things. If this person's not going to shower and then get in your bed every night, like, that's disgusting.

Yeah. After a rock climbing, you know, afternoon. After physical activity, like, that's the thing. And, you know, I am obviously in a relationship where we would be like, hey, you smell or your ears or your breath or whatever. Like, we're super open and we were pretty early on. I don't know where they're at seven months in. I mean, I don't know what their relationship is like and how open it is.

But I would kind of be like, doesn't feel so good to like be clean or, you know, like, you could drop some things about how you like to be clean. But I would start, I would start with the. like, baby, I love you, but when you're outside all day and you're rock climbing and biking, like it's physical activity, like, you know, you got a shower. 101. I would. Like, don't make him feel.

If you really think this person is your, she said, soulmate, life partner, like, you should be able to be honest. You could say it in a non-mean way. Like, hey, I love you so much, but. Yeah. You smell. Yes. And I want to, yeah, I want to hook up.

The dandruff, and that's so fixable with. sell some blue or head and shoulders or just washing your hair at all. Like what is he doing? He's just not washing his hair. This is just a net positive for him in all areas. He would get laid more. She'd be more attracted to him. I mean, professionally it's better.

I don't know what he does for work. But I think that people want to be around people that like smell nice. Who cares how you dress or you bad teeth or bad hair cut? But like people want you to look kemped, you know? Yeah. If you say something, what's he going to say? Like, no, I'm good. And then you have to make the decision.

I guess I can't handle this. I can't live with a person who does. I'm surprised she's got this far. I am too. It makes me wonder if this is real. I know. This is chat, GBT. But does he, who is in his life?

Does he have a sister? Does he have a friend? Like, how is a girlfriend, like, platonic friend, never brought this up? No, that would have been three weeks of, like, wait, he hasn't showered. I don't, like, a boss never brought this up. Like, I feel like there's, yeah, but like, okay, you and I haven't worked in an office in a long time. But, like, I feel like at some point, like, an office.

office manager will be like, hey. Right. People are talking. Yeah, people are talking. Like, does he go home to her parents' house for dinner with her? Like, this is like a real deal breaker for me. And I don't know how he could respond. I know he could respond negatively because he's insulted, but like, hey, I'd be more

attracted to you. Yeah. But here's the thing. I, this is, to me, stuff like this is not insulting because it's fixable and it's not personal. You always have bad breath. You might have halitosis. That's different.

Yeah. But you smell because you're not showering is quick fix. You're right. It's not about who you are as a person. Yes. It's not at all. It's like helping you get better hygiene. It's, you know.

Yeah. Every girl likes to turn, like, hello. I threw my ex-boyfriend's shoes out because I didn't like them. And I was like, I don't know. They must have just gotten missing. Yeah. So weird. I threw those shoes out.

I guess we have to go buy a new sneakers. No, these were turning me off. I could look at these. I wonder how she lasted this long. I'm so fascinating. I'm curious what he does for work. I'm curious what her hygiene has. habits are like. Yeah. Because I think a lot of my like girlfriends shower twice a day. Like I can't

imagine them being with somebody that showered twice a week. Well, and he doesn't wash his hands. Is he fingering her? Like I just can't stop thinking about him. No. Grubby hands. She can say this is like something I care about. Yeah. Sorry I'm so. Do this for me. Make it about you. Like, you know, I love when people are just cleaner. Oh, I thought you meant like, oh my babe, sorry. I'm just a little OCD. I like to shower every day. But it's just my, it's my weird thing. Maybe she should invite him to shower with her. Yeah, shower with her. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yes. He should always be, she probably did try this a bunch of times. Like, wouldn't it be so sexy if we shower together? Well, I would like to know that.

That's my big question for her. Have you tried to get him in the shower with you when he comes home from rock climbing all day? He just rock climbs and gets in the bed. No, no, no, no. I won't get off a plane and touch my bed. I won't get off. I don't even like to wear outside clothing like in on my couch. No.

I change when I get home. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, good luck, sis. Yeah, good luck. Let us know how it's for his own good. And again, this is not, it's personal, but it's not, because it's so, it's a quick fix.

It's just, yeah, you don't have to say, I'm not attracted to you when you do that. You could just say, hey, you know what I would love? Yeah, slip some Q-tips. Yeah. And his hand. See how you do with these. So good. Okay.

I'll do the next one. The subject line is, my boyfriend is insecure and it's giving me the ick. So my boyfriend will call him Mike and I started dating in May 2025. We've known each other for almost 10 years as we went to high school together, but we're always friends. Mike got out of a serious relationship in November 24 after finding out his fiance was cheating on him. Okay, so let's just see. He has some backstory and some trust issues. Fast forward

to January. I'm living in Alabama. He's living in Wisconsin. We're both from there. He slides into my DMs. We start chatting. I'm adamant. I don't want a relationship because of distance. We're old friends catching up. Catching feelings is what did happen. By March, I landed a new job back in Wisconsin. I'm planning on moving back in May. Still not dating at this point. He visits me at the end of April. It's a great weekend. May rolls around. He moves me back

and asks me to be his girlfriend. and that was a long journey. But, whoa. Anyway, if you guys kept up, she didn't. You're still here. Yeah. If you made it this far as me. I'm doing the math.

I'm like, I just had a stroke. Okay. So all that to say they're dating. I was like, if I'm blacking out. No, and I was like,

Wisconsin? Oh my God. Okay. Where is that in relation to Alabama? She writes present tense, which is literally all we needed, sis. But anyway. She's not a journalist.

That's strange. Maybe she is. She's like a, You need to know the timeline. She said, I changed my wallpaper from a picture of Mike and I to a picture of me and my sister. Mike saw a Facebook profile picture in his suggestion friends that was me and my ex because my ex apparently never changed it. Now Mike believes I'm cheating on him.

So I guess those two things together. She changed the wallpaper on her phone. At the same time that he saw like her ex, whatever. Okay. He said, I don't want to be the guy you give your final rose to. Like, I'm the Bachelorette. What? What?

Sorry, insert Bachelor reference. Yeah. We tried talking about it, but he continued to interrupt me and say how he doesn't trust me or have confidence in our relationship. I've never cheated on Mike. I love him. I thought we were going to get married. It was a premature thought. I see that now.

If I was a cheater, I feel like this is a safe space and I'd share. Not sure if you ever see this, but just a girlie trying to figure out if I should dump him or ride out the relationship. Listen, I think we all bring our own insecurities to relationships and it's okay to start to unpack those things early and say, here's my boundaries, It makes me feel uncomfortable as long as it's communicated in a respectful way, right? Sure. And if I all of a sudden saw that the person I was dating had changed their phone wallpaper and the person that was allegedly their ex still had them as a photo and a social media platform, I don't know who's going on Facebook, but that's okay.

I would have some questions, but like those two things like on the same day, but I wouldn't break up with somebody for it. It's okay to like have that conversation. What do you think? I think, yeah, what do you think? You have to write, should I ride it out? And it's only been since May. That's rough early.

You're supposed to still be in your like, fucking honeymoon phase. You're like, we love each other. I don't know. I feel like clearly he has insecurities. He had a fiancee cheat on him, right? But like, girl. I think it's unfortunate that his mind immediately goes to like you're cheating on him.

Like I would still be like, you know, you change your photo and someone else still has a photo of you as their background, like what's going on here. But immediately jumping to your teeth. cheating on me. Yeah, that's hard. I think like if you like this guy, like, you know, you don't have to be so serious right now. He clearly just got out of a thing, like an engagement. Wait, how old are they? I'm going to guess they're pretty young. We've known each other for almost 10 years together as we went to high school together. So probably late 20s. Okay. I mean,

I think it's trying to validate the feeling and I would hope somebody would just accept my answer of face value move on. If he presses you and it becomes an issue and it's like you're a cheater, even though I did nothing to prove to you that I'm cheating on you. Yeah. Yeah. I think if Is this a conversation? Hey, the wallpaper thing was just purely a coincidence with this Facebook photo. I have no control over. Yeah. And that's it.

And is he going to respond? I'm sorry, you know, what I went through. I'm triggered. And I apologize. And I'll do better to not be so jealous. Then just clock it and keep it moving. But this could be a pattern. Yeah.

So she can decide that for herself. It's also, didn't she move cities to be with this guy? She got a job. She's clearly not. you know, with the other person still. Right. So she's showing her commitment. Yeah.

I don't know. I can cheat on you when your picture is my phone background still. I didn't need to change my phone background. Yeah. Oh, so he's, sorry, I wasn't even thinking about your mind would go there. That's when he was equating the two together. Got it. Okay.

She changed it so she could cheat. Okay. The wallpaper is another interesting conversation. Like, because Shishon and I've had pictures of each other for a while now. and I don't know, what if someone changed it? It might be like, oh, I wouldn't think anything of it, but I'd be like, well, why did you do that? Well, so it was previously the two of them.

Yeah. Mine's my dog, always. It was my dog, our dog, I guess now, technically. Mine's my dead dog. Actually, both of ours is our dead dog. Hers was her dog. And then it was my alive dog. Because I felt weird having him with the dead.

I always have him on my phone. People always like, say, your dog is so cute. And I go, my dead dog. You have your dead dog and you have two new dogs. Yes. See, I felt bad for his old. That he'd be like, why is Dewey on the phone screen? Because I always say, you're beautiful, but you are not the king.

You know, the king gets the phone real. Let's do it. Wait, so was he previously her phone wallpaper and she changed it? Yeah, from a picture of Mike and her to a picture of her and her sister. Okay, I would have, I would ask. But I would ask him like, come on. Maybe he doesn't shower. No.

I know. Where's the hygiene and all this? Her and her sister is interesting, because to me, it's partner or dog. Yeah. My phone background would be me and Rayno. Would yours be you and your sister? No, it's your dog. Yeah, it's my dog.

Okay. Or me, you know. I think you can have the conversation. I think it's fine if he addresses it. I think if he presses it any further. I don't know. I don't want to be like harassed about what my phone background is. Yeah, that's so petty.

I don't know. Has anybody even been on Facebook in the last 10 years? That guy could have just like never updated his photo. Yeah, some people aren't good at that. My ex, if you scroll like three times, I'm on there. He's married with two kids, but you can find me before you find his wife. Absolutely. Absolutely. They just don't go on.

Yes. I know this guy. His last two girlfriends are still on there. He's married. Right. Yeah. With a kid on the way. Yeah. You don't even have to scroll that far. They're just all there. I never like wiped my old Facebook or Instagram, you know? Like, whatever. Okay. We're going to end with a really funny one. Okay. Now I'm like, are people going to roast me for my phone screen? Are most people having their partners on there? Yeah. We just have really good professional photos. They have their kids. They have their kids. Yeah. You have your nephew. They have kids. No, I'm not doing that. It got a little weird. What is it now? There's just like a bald baby on my phone. It's a little weird. Actually, my home screen, you'll love this.

That's my dog who passed away. My sweet Bobby Flea, angel of my life. Wait, you called him Bobby Flea? Bobby Flea. Did you really? Did you know Bobby Flea? Do you know his house? He's like cooked for me?

We went to the same vet for 14 years, so we know of each other. And I've met him a couple times. Does he know you named the dog? Yes, yes. He does. Oh my God. Because Nacho would go to the same vet as my Bobby Fly. And they'd always be like, oh my God, he'd just called.

Like, they would think I'm a little. assistant. The best is when I'd call and I'd be like, Bobby Flee has the Red Rocket staring at me. I don't know what to do. I do this on the stage and they'll be like, I'm sorry, what? And I'm like, his boner. How do I get rid of it? Like, so would you call, Bobby, would you call your dog Bobby Flae or Bobby? Always Bobby. Bobby Flay, B-flay. I mean, we call him Bobby sometimes. Oh, my phone background's my dad, grandmother. Actually, it's really just a memorial. My phone. Dead people. Oh, like there's a few ashes sprinkled in the back. Well, it was like, I probably made this collage of my grandma when she died and I just never changed it.

You're like, you could be on my phone screen, but you have to die first. Yeah. It's a way to remember you. Did you? Okay, you did Jeremy, Jacobowitz's his like bagel thing that I also did. I want to do what he's asked. Oh, my God. Ask him.

He would love to have you. You got to do it. I scored super low. Oh, you did. Oh, I outscored you. Okay, great. Did you guys talk about Bobby Fleigh? No, we didn't.

So Jeremy worked for Bobby Flay for years. That's how I met Bobby Flay. So I met up his house for dinner and hung out with the Maine Coons. Wow. I'm obsessed to Bobby Fleur. Okay. Maine Coons trip me out. We've never hung out, but we know each other. I used to work in restaurants when I first graduated, like, for a bunch of chefs and stuff. Oh, you guys should talk about that. Okay. Last email. I'm scared. The title is too well endowed. Oh, my God. So my boyfriend is amazing. He's all the things you guys always say I should be looking for. He supports me. He adores me. He adores me. He's truly a king. But he also is extremely aggressively, unnecessarily well, and down.

Unnecessarily is a wild award. There are a bunch of women just being like, well, great, I'm going to crash my car now. Oh, fuck that. Everything's perfect, and he has a big dick. Okay, keep going. I feel like I need to stretch and hydrate before we hook up. Seriously. It's gotten to the point where I'm nervous to have sex because even with all the foreplay in the world, it is still a whole situation.

We try different positions. We try going slow. We've tried lube. And I want to have sex with him. I'm super attracted to him, but my body is like, absolutely not. I feel ridiculous even typing this because who complains about this. But I'm genuinely worried. Is it a reason to end an otherwise incredible relationship?

if the sex is painful more often than not. And if not, help me. Because right now, I feel like I'm dating someone whose equipment is unmanageable. Okay, I wanted you to noodle on who you'd like to answer this as. Oh. It would be fast. Answer it is all of them.

Chris Jenner. Yes. So, by the way. My time, like glasses. Okay. This just happened with a celebrity who I thought it was Haley Bailey, who was Little Mermaid, but it's another celebrity named Haley Bailey.

That's her Instagram handle. Her actual name is Haley. Cali, I think is her actual last name. You've seen her. She's like this long red hair. She's super beautiful. She was married to this football player. She said that they ended up breaking up because he had like a Coke can for a dick.

Yeah, but they got married. Yeah, they got married. Haley Bailey. Yeah, they call her. Oh, that's her handle. Said her ex-husband's dick who he's this NFL player was too big. But I mean, they got married, which is interesting. Okay. So is it a reason to break up with somebody? And then we'll give advice. First of all, congratulations. I mean, there are people all over the world who would love to have a giant dick

inside of them. And you're talking to the right doctor, you know, I've been with Corey now 10 years. And he was a trainer, you know. So I saw it right through those little mesh shorts. And I thought, I could change your life. I really could. And, you know, when I brought Corey home, Kimberly, And Chloe, they were so worried. They said, Mom. Bruce was not, you know, Corey-sized. And I have to say, at first, it's daunting. It is, you know, but you got to take it like a chance.

It's like taking a shot. You get better over time. You really, you know, and you got to just say to your, look in the mirror every day and stretch it out and say, and look down at your vagina and you say, You're doing amazing, sweetie. Oh, my God. That was insane. Maybe you could stick a football in there, you know?

Give her a little. Oh, my God. Also, the best family to answer this in general. Just all the context. The family that took Ray J. Yeah, I said, go, Kylie, go. Shove it up there. This family became famous because of the biggest dick I've ever seen.

I remember watching that sex tape and I could not believe it. Both of Kim's hands were on it and there was space between. Queen her hands. Why do you think I put it out there? I knew a star when I saw one. Kim looked great, but... You know who the star of that video was. Oh, my God.

You can do it without breaking either. You really just go straight through. I was trying to not look at you because I don't want to make you laugh. I'll look straight at the camera. Shove a dick inside doll. I was like, where's the doll? football. It's sick.

Okay, but real talk. Real talk. Back to being real girls. There are something you can do. But I feel for... I was going to say, like, ask like a doctor or sex therapist even, like in this, if you really like the person, like, there's got to be a way, you know? I wonder what he has done with previous partners because like I'm assuming this has been

a problem. Probably. I dated one person and it was just so big that like, it was hard to. for me to have an orgasm because I was like in pain always. I definitely, I could like pretty much only take it in missionary. Like even on top hurt, Doggy was out of the question. I had this too. I had this experience too.

And then this guy I also was like, he's so confident. But he's like, he like to comment. I was like, why is he so cock? And then I was like, oh, yeah, I get it. Like Mr. Cocky on Sex and the City. I mean, I love that guy for Samantha. It hurt. I was like, I can't, I can't.

I mean, I would have sex in missionary and I would enjoy that. I just couldn't get like really creative. Yeah. I feel for anyone who is dealing with an issue that causes pain during sex, obviously a huge dick is going to be painful. Any woman who experiences pain for whatever reason I feel for because you should look forward to it. And there's only so much you can do. I mean, you can train a little bit.

I mean, you train your butt hole to have anal. Right. You can use bigger dildos. You can really try. But there's a point where it truly is just too big. And I don't have the answers. I mean, are you guys having good foreplay? or can he eat pussy?

Is there other stuff you can do? And then you can just try to... But you don't want to do something against your will either. I mean, Loub is going to be your best friend. And just if you really think it's a long-term partner, you need to practice with some dildos. Yeah.

I don't want it to end if everything else is great. I know me either. Because that's like someone else would literally be like, what the fuck are you talking about? I know. Get it together, you know? But like if this guy and I could ever be in the same room for three days and not had a fight,

I just like, I don't know what I would have done. done because I was so attracted to him. I like want him so badly, but like it, I couldn't take it. Yeah. I had a lot of guys that I've slept with that had big dicks, but. How many? You know, you know. But the biggest one I ever saw, he came home.

We started hooking up. And when I tell you, like, it tumbled out of his pants. And I was like, absolutely not. Like, I don't know how you got through the door with that. Like, it was crazy. And we didn't have sex. I never saw a dick that big. Yeah.

I used to joke on stage. It was like a slinky going on the stairs. It just like kept coming. It like unfolded multiple times. I'd never say anything like. He was our basketball center when I was at Clemson. And I didn't do it. Like it wasn't worth it.

We weren't going to date. Yeah. I was like, we can just cuddle. That was kind of the guy when I was like, it's so massive. And it hurt and I didn't like it. And then I like got a UTI after Soul's cycle. And I was like, he's ruining my exercise now. I can't do this.

Yeah. There was a guy. I remember having sex with like, some guy met off Tinder one night in Atlanta. And I just, the pain the next day. Like, I don't like that feeling in my pussy that it's, like, sore. I feel it, like, in my stomach. Like, you're just like, he would, like, look down at me during sex,

and I would be, like, biting my lip. It was, like, so bad. So you could talk to your doctor. For play, obviously, it opens up your vagina. It's like you have to try hard. You have to work a little harder if you want to hook up with this. And try your best. Yeah.

Have him go down on you. If you can have an orgasm before sex, it will just like open all that up. Totally. Lots of lube. That's a good call. I mean, we have babies. We don't. We don't.

None of us do. No, we don't. But we've seen it. We know it does happen. That happens. Yeah. But it hurts, apparently. Uh-huh.

So good luck out there. Oh. Just let him finger you and be like, I love you. Can you go to bed? Can you fit in your mouth? Yeah. Just have him a sleeping pill. Take a shower together.

Maybe try in the shower. Yeah. I know. I actually was like watching. our friend Julio got a Colorado. I got, I served this like clip of his yesterday. And he's talking about how like, he doesn't understand how like it's, the shower is like hot and wet, but it's like sandpaper. Like I can't have sex in there.

Oh, don't do it in the shower. Because dicks get bigger in the shower. Yeah, you want in the heat. I mean, I guess if it's hard, whatever. But when Chonky comes out of the shower, I'm like, oh. Yeah. Like I'm never more here. Yeah, you want a cold dick.

Yeah. Right. They should be having sex like outside. Okay. In the winter. Go find the bleachers at the football field. Take a little, I don't know, get high maybe. Oh, that's a great idea.

Great call. When I get high, I'm so worried. Yes, edibles. Yes, great idea. Yeah, and maybe the pain will be, you know, you feel it as much. I love this. Take a ski trip with some edibles. Take a ski trip.

Do it on a mountain. Stoned out of your mind. Now, how much can we shrink this dig? All right. Well, we solved it. Anna, thank you so much. Oh my God, I love you guys. Thank you so much for having me.

I was like, we're going to be real friends. They don't know why, yeah, but we know. We are. And can you tell everybody like where to follow you? I knew of a show coming up at Joe's Pub, tell people when it is, all the things. Yeah, you can find me anywhere at Anna Royceman, A-N-A-R-O-I-S-M-A-R-S-M-A. And I'm doing my one-woman show. It's called Triple Threat, and it's going to be January 7th at Joe's Pub.

And where can people have the tickets. They'll find in my Instagram or my website. Yeah, wherever. Also, that venue is really fun. It's the best. I love it. I love doing shows there. Yeah, fun.

Okay. I wish we're going to be in town. Yeah. If you guys aren't following her, what are you doing? So get on it. Go to your show. Maybe we'll be there. Thanks.

I love you guys. I love you guys. Okay. Okay. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta eat. com. We will see you at our holiday show in New York.

Maybe you can come. That's December 13th. So get tickets. Girls Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Rain is Rayan. org. Subscribe on YouTube.

Share this episode with a friend. Pick up our vibes only toys and help stretch out your vagina if you're dealing with a guy with too big a dick. Or a loom. And we'll see Thursday. Have a go week, guys. Bye.