Girls Gotta Eat - Men vs. Women in Breakups feat. Ricky Liorti

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

We're joined by author and influencer Ricky Liorti, and it's been a long time coming (we share the story of how roasting him in 2022 led to this interview). We talk about his dating life, what he's lo...oking for and why he's not willing to settle for less, and we give our analysis. We're discussing the importance of being with someone who shares your interests, how living your best single life will help you find your perfect person, how heartbreak led him to writing his book, and the way men and women process breakups differently. Before Ricky joins us, Ashley shares her flu experience, and Rayna has made a big (and fun) change in her dating life. Enjoy! Follow Ricky on Instagram @yourpalrick and TikTok @yourpalrick, listen to The Pal's Podcast, and read his poetry journal Heartbreak Love. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Tonal: Get $200 off your purchase at https://tonal.com with code GGE. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/GGE. ZBiotics: Get 15% off at https://zbiotics.com/gge with code GGE. Fay Nutrition: See a registered dietitian for as little as $0 a month at https://faynutrition.com/GGE. Cymbiotika: Get 20% and free shipping at https://cymbiotika.com/girlsgottaeat. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 If more men supported their friends, like women supported themselves, you know, maybe we'd have less broken men and broken men just hurt women. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Oh, my God. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back.
Starting point is 00:00:33 I'm back from the dead, barely. You're really doing it. You've been sick for, oh, my God, the longest I've ever known about. No, this flu tried to kill me. I... at you. It's so, it's been so awful.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Every day when I ask you how you are, I assume you're going to tell me a little bit better and every day it just ramped up. Yeah, every fucking day it ramped up for like seven days. Like every day you're like, tomorrow I've got to be better. And then your body's like, tomorrow you'll probably want to go to the ER.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Do you remember at the beginning of this? I've seen you like one time like two weeks. I know. Do you remember at the beginning of this? Because Sparkle lives also sick. and you were like, we're going to sleep in different bedrooms for the night. Like, that's how you thought you'd fix this. So, yes.
Starting point is 00:01:20 So my fucking roommate got me sick. This is what I get for deciding to live with a man. Yes. Okay, so you said this thing to me and you said something like, I don't know what to do about this. And I was like, she's upset. And so I can't make jokes about like, this is what happens when you let a man into your house. Like, ask him to move out. Because you were like, I don't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:01:42 And I was like, I typed out. ask him to leave and move out. No good deed goes unpunished. He got sick on a Sunday and I took care of him. He was just like so fucked up. And then like I got it two days later. So I had like two days of like taking care of him and I'm happy to do it. And I was just like, no, no, no, don't let it happen to me.
Starting point is 00:02:04 You know, and Tuesday we were recording it like started to settle in. I feel like it's like this dark monster like you're looking behind your shore. Like don't do it. Don't get me. Don't get me. I'm taking all my symbiotic. I'm doing all my shit. And then it got me. And it lasted like full seven days. Like I'm still not really out of it. And I mean, we just like took care of each other. I could get emotional talking about it. Like he's so wonderful. Like he took care of me. Like I had a day where I could not get out of bed. I couldn't open my eyes. My head hurt so bad. He had a day at 103 fever. Like we just were kind of going back and forth between who it would feel. a little bit better to like take care of the other one who would walk a zoolmoor who would like cook or order food i mean it was we were in it he can stay yeah i mean he's and i knew he would he's taken care of me
Starting point is 00:02:53 before when i had some like a health issue and you know even when i was like had that random thing in tampa and i puked at drake like i know he is like that he's so caring he's so loving he's like so kind and like nurturing and you know i'm in that mode for him as well but like we were we felt like the world was ending. Well, you were still working. I was like, can this bitch take a day off? I just, she's sick. And I would like to just, I'd like to also be off.
Starting point is 00:03:19 And you were like, let's get back to these emails. Let's approve this thing. And I was like, we're different. Because when I'm sick, I am in the bed asleep and you're still working a little bit. But that's the craziest thing about the flu, you guys, hot take. Like, it gets worse every day. Like your days three and four should be your worst.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Mine were like five and six or even worse somehow. So like those first couple days, I was still. I was fucked up, but I was like still working. And then it was like through the weekend, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I'm in the depths of hell. Like I have never, I've never been this sick. I mean, not COVID, not when I was a kid. I mean, I haven't had the flu flu in like 10 years, 12 years, maybe 15 years.
Starting point is 00:03:59 This is like the real real deal fucking influenza B. B for baddie. Be for bad bitch. No, B for bury me alive. Because that would have been better. Well, they're saying this is the worst flu season in 15 years. And I have never had the flu and I've never gotten the flu vaccine. And shout out to my sister-in-law.
Starting point is 00:04:19 The best thing she's ever done for me. Well, she gave me my nephew. But like, other than that, she forced me when I was meeting him to get. Oh, to get the flu shot. I got a triple vaccine. I got COVID, whooping cough, and the flu recently. She made me get all three of them. Part of me was like, maybe I'll just lie, not get it.
Starting point is 00:04:35 But then I was like, I could never do that. Oh, that's why you're so cool being around me. Yeah. You're like, I'm all set. I just got the flu vaccine. A vaccine. Yeah. I mean, I have a few tips.
Starting point is 00:04:43 That is one of them. Listen to. The flu vaccine. I've never been a flu shot girly, but I am now. You get tested for the flu now. I didn't know this. Like, it's like a combo test. It tests that picked me up some.
Starting point is 00:04:55 It has COVID, flu A, flu B. Oh, you could just get the whole thing. Hep C. No, I'm getting up. Herpes A. Plamydia D. And so I took it and I was like kind of too far gone at that point to get Tamiflu. So I recommend if you feel like you're starting to get it, take that test, and then you can do telehealth.
Starting point is 00:05:15 If I did teledoc and get them to give you this Tamiflu. People know about Tamiflu, but you're only really supposed to take it within the first 48 hours. That's the only way it really works. It kind of helps stop things from multiplying and it can lessen your symptoms and the length of time you're sick. It was like too late for me. They called it for me anyway, but they were like, don't want me more about taking it. I got a cough prescription medicine, but she was like, you can take it if you want, but it's really only that early onset.
Starting point is 00:05:38 So, like, in retrospect, I wish I would have taken it and not have moved in with my fiance But, you know, here we are. No, I am so grateful for him. When you're sick like that, like, the only person prior to being with him, I would have wanted to be around with my mom. I mean, you're so helpless. Like, there was just times where it was like, I can't get out of bed, you know? And, like, for him, too.
Starting point is 00:06:01 I mean, that day, you had 103 fever. I made him take his temperature every hour until it went down. I was like, we're going to have to go to the fucking hospital. I don't want to be taking care of it all, but like my mom didn't really take care of me like that growing up. It would be like unfamiliar to me to have like a partner take care of me because I'm just like I don't want to get away from May. You wouldn't like settle into that helplessness because I'll get in it. Yeah, I mean, you know all the times I get surgery. I don't want anybody near me.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Right. I can barely walk and I'm like, I'm all sad. I don't want anybody here. But mostly it's because I'm like so miserable and I don't want anybody like around me. Also like I haven't lived with like a partner a long time. So who knows what Raina at this age is like even like with a partner. Yeah. The dog is tough because you got to take the dog out.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Yeah, that would be really... I just let it free. We actually just got rid of him. We just opened the door and help him back. Yeah, he's somewhere in Santa Monica. You guys see him. Bring him back next week. I'll be better to take care of him.
Starting point is 00:06:51 You don't know where he is. That's why he's not here today. No, it's raining. I know, no. We watch so much TV. So I will be reporting on the snack this Thursday. So everything. I've finished Netflix.
Starting point is 00:07:03 So much stuff happened this week. I'm so excited to get into a snack last week. week and like Megan Markle. It's Megan Sussex now. It's so funny you call me Megan Marple because you know I'm Sussex now. Right? Oh, Meg, you're so crazy. You know I'm Sussex now.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I cannot get out of my head. All right. We'll talk to you on Thursday, but okay, let's thank our partners. Then we're here. All right. Thanks to Zbiotics, get 15% off at Zbiotics.com slash GGE with code GGE. And FAYNutrition, see a registered dietitian for as little as $0.0.000 a month at feignutrition.com slash gGE. And finally, Quince, get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next
Starting point is 00:07:41 order at quince.com slash GGE. Yes, and thank you to Symbiotica. Get 20% off and free shipping at symbiotica.com slash girls got to eat and tonal. Get $200 off your purchase at tonal.com with code GGE. So we have something exciting for you guys. Ashley and I, if you're new here, own a sexual wellness brand, vibes only. It's a line of incredible sex toys. They're all Bluetooth connected to our amazing app and in the app is not only remote control, but tons of erotic audio you guys can listen to. So we have a giveaway for you. We are giving away for three lucky winners starting today, the giveaway last one week. We'll announce the winners next week. But we are giving three lucky winners our juiced up water-based lube. Use it last night. Can't say enough
Starting point is 00:08:24 good stuff about it. Oh my God. I haven't even heard you guys. And our poppy palm vibe vibrator. We are really proud this one. It is a solo vibrator or for partner play fits in the palm. your hand. There's a nice finger grip handle. If you guys are watching YouTube, you can see it. Nice squishy texture. It's one of my favorites. It's so good. There's nothing like it. So three people, we are giving away that package. All you have to do is go on Google or the app store. Review the app. That's all we need you to do. Just let us know your honest review. Honestly, make it nice. Honest leave us a nice review. Review, screenshot that and just email it to hello at vibes only.com. We're going to enter you to win. Three winners. That's a huge amount of
Starting point is 00:09:00 chances. Three, it's a value of $100, over $100. We'll pick the winner next Monday. So lots of opportunities to get in there. And then if you forget this email address, go to Vibes Only on Instagram and it's all there. Yes, the instructions too. If you missed any of that, we'll be on our Instagram at Vives Only, like Raina said, you think I should do a story for the app now with this voice. If someone is a flu kink. Yeah, like a sick king. Like when you're starting to come, you just start coughing. I got to get the flemy cough. You got to get that.
Starting point is 00:09:30 don't spit for a while. I have not had sex in so long. I have not ridden my fiance or the Peloton in so long. I miss them both so much. I actually thought about asking you if you guys been having sex and then I was like, now's not the time, Raina. Yeah. There's no chance.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Like I really don't have my full energy back by any stretch. Like he's pretty much full recovery and I'm like, fuck you. You just left me. You've left me here. You're back at work. I don't know. Like I feel. like fatigued.
Starting point is 00:10:02 You can't even lay there and take it. Like I can't, I feel like I would start coughing in his face. I showed a lot of restraint not asking you. I was like, I'll respect their privacy at the time. Yeah. They've been going through it. I'm not going to be like, also are you having sex? You guys don't seem like you're fucking, are you?
Starting point is 00:10:17 No. Not even close. Okay. So speaking of fucking, I have like a bunch of stuff to tell you. Okay. Tess is already laughing. So I had promised myself that I was going to like go on dating apps and I was like, I just complained about being single. So I downloaded a dating app.
Starting point is 00:10:33 I just wasn't like having the best time on it. The conversations were a little polite. And one of our girlfriends, this is not an ad. One of our girlfriends has been using field. And we had the founder field on our show previously. And she is wonderful. And it started off as an app essentially to express your kinks, your desires, alternative relationships, like ethical non-monogamy,
Starting point is 00:10:53 or if you're looking for a third, things like that. But our friend has been using it. She's like, I'm just meeting great people. She's like, I'm just having like fun, light conversations with people. And so I was like, all right, let me check this out. So I made a profile. You can use a fake name. A lot of people use fake names. I used my fake name that I used for Uber. I chose three photos. And I was like, this is like so much less serious. People are on here to like be sexy. So I did my lead photos at our Denver show. So just like some sexy photos. And then I was like, let me just.
Starting point is 00:11:21 No one's trying to be wholesome on field. Well, I was also reading people's profiles. And so. Maybe they are. So I don't know. Yeah. No offense. Some are. Some profiles are like, Okay. Our friend said that some guy messaged her and was like, I'm going to break every chair in the world so you have to sit on my face. And I was like, okay, so there are like, some of this is very heavily sexual. When I say the wholesome thing, I say it as a compliment. Like I just, it's like less of that politeness, like you said.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Yes. Yeah, like these people aren't vanilla. They just aren't or they wouldn't be on this app. Yes. And they don't have to be top level kink, non-monogamy, all of that. But at least they're a little spicier than the people on the other ones. Well, it's interesting. I've seen all the same people on both apps.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Oh, my God. enjoying seeing their profiles on like compare you. Because they're just like lighter and you don't list your height. You don't list your occupation. And I wrote a short profile. My profiles really gets five sentences. It's just like I'm on here. Let's fuck.
Starting point is 00:12:10 No. Mine says like I'm looking for like partner, but I'm happy to have fun. See where things take eyes. I said something like, you know, I'm not looking to be a third in your couple. But whatever. I look to light. So I just start like messaging guys. I'm on here for five minutes.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Actually, I downloaded this up 36 hours ago. Okay. I have 12333 likes. What? 109 messages. 36 hours. Should I get on this? Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:38 You're not fucking at home. Get on this app. No, I'm kidding. And the message. Should we get on this? Yeah, you guys looking for a third? And everybody is so sexy. You can see how far away they are from you.
Starting point is 00:12:53 The conversations I'm having on here are like so much more fun. So I found this guy last night. And my opening line to him was, you have a sexy smile. Perfect. I just wouldn't say that to people on other dating apps. You say to him in person, though. So that's your vibe. Yeah, it's my vibe.
Starting point is 00:13:07 But I don't know. Other dating apps feel more like play. Like, how's your day going? Hey, Raina, how are you today? And I'm just like, whatever. So I said you have a sexy smile. I said he was a sexy smile. And he wrote back, I'm not a big fan of country music,
Starting point is 00:13:21 but you could convert me in those chaps. And off to the races we went. And we had like a nice conversation. Yeah. And I told you, so height is not on here. I put my height on it. I put my height in the profile. I just said I was like 5-2, which is a lie.
Starting point is 00:13:34 But. Not rain a lie to lie about her height. Why are you just a dude? Not you adding two inches like every man on the dating apps. Oh my God. I said I'm a Gemini. I'm 5-2 and people think I'm funny. That's my profile.
Starting point is 00:13:51 So I just like really enjoyed it. It's like lighter. I'm sorry. I'm not going to get over this that quickly. I'm dead. If someone called you out, I'm sorry. Did you say you were 5'2? Because you're getting 5' feet.
Starting point is 00:14:04 And I don't know if I can... I show up in heels. I will be 5'2 though. No man is showing up to. Exactly. Like, I want them to know what height I'm showing up as. Exactly. So it's not a lie.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Yeah. I will be 52 on our date. Yes. That and that's what's important. Yeah. And then I'm on my back. So everybody's the same height. I'm having the time of my life.
Starting point is 00:14:23 And because people's heights aren't. on here, like this one guy that I went out with, I'm just like, I probably would have swiped past him because I'm a heightest. And that's stupid. Because when you and I got to bars and people approach me, I'm never like five, nine next. Yeah. But when I'm on dating apps, listen, I think I'm cute. I'm in LA six. But I, I, I swipe with the energy of a 25. I'm just like, ew, gross. Next. Next. Short. Probably poor. You swipe like you're back in Pittsburgh. Yes. Swiping like you're in Pittsburgh in L.A. No offense.
Starting point is 00:14:55 I swipe with the energy of Giselle. It is crazy the way I'm out of your judging people. I'm just like sick, ooh, short, next. But like I just probably want to swipe right past his person. It was just like, stay tuned until next week. But so far. He's so hot. Yeah, he's really hot.
Starting point is 00:15:11 He's not 5'4. He said he was 511, which I'm pretty sure it was a lie. Well, you lied to. We started our relationship up on a lie. But okay, I wanted to tell you about this thing that happened because I can't remember we ever talked about this on the podcast. But so we went out to this restaurant last night, which I like going out to in Venice, and there's like a big bar, and I assume we'll sit at the bar.
Starting point is 00:15:33 So we're an outfit to sit at the bar. Like you don't wear your standing jeans. You wear your sitting jeans, which is fine. But then he was like, there's actually this like speak easy around the corner from the bar, from the restaurant. Would you like want to go there? And I was like, yeah, that sounds fun. So we like went in there and all the seating are low couches.
Starting point is 00:15:51 And I was just like, no one's body is built for that in a front. first date. Like this is what you have to wear to that. Yes. What we're wearing to record in. Yes. I hate a low couch. A low couch on a first date.
Starting point is 00:16:01 My foobah is just pouring out of my pants. On my knees are in my chest. Yes. Like this is me. I'm like this. Yes. And then try to serve me some food. You're doing the crab walk.
Starting point is 00:16:15 I got to show what I wore too. Like this is not an outfit that was built for a couch. No, it's Soho House. They're like, would you like to sit on the floor? Oh, I know. Totally. Every seat at Soho House is three inches off. The floor.
Starting point is 00:16:26 Just sit under the table, actually, ma'am. So last night I wore these jeans are kind of high-waisted, and then like an open front shirt. So cute. Thank you. Yeah. So that's not an outfit that's built to sit on the floor. My, I had a muffin top at my rib cage. And it was uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:16:43 And here's the other thing about couches on a first date. There's no clear boundary between you and the other person. So if you don't want to be touched by that person, you don't want to be like angled in towards each other. Like, I just, I want a chair. I wanted him to touch me. So I, like, enjoyed the date with him. But if it was, like, somebody else, like, it's a lot of, like, close familiarity. You just kind of sink into the middle of the couch together.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Otherwise, you're, like, on opposite ends of the couch. Yeah. Like, I want our boundaries to be defined on a first date. Like, I went on a first day with that guy, that matchmaker. And he was already seated when I got there in, like, a big round booth. And I was like, where the fuck do I sit? Yeah. And I sat far away.
Starting point is 00:17:23 because we're strangers. Like I kind of sat on the other side. That's so far. Which is so weird. And then we did start to vibe. And then I'm like, do I scoge now? I'm not going to sit next to you in the booth, the round booth. And then where do they put their arms?
Starting point is 00:17:41 Like he had his arm like up on the couch and it was sort of like behind me a little bit. And he kept like touching my hair a little bit. I didn't mind it. Like I liked it. But like I wanted him to touch me. Another person I would have been like, can you back up a little? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just, I don't know, it's uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:17:55 A friend of mine once told me she went on a picnic for a first date. No. On the ground. It's giving Tessa. Guys, Tessa had a guy asked her to go pick up trash on the beach. And I love a community service effort. First date, let's not pick up trash. It's giving community service.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Do you have a DUI? Why do you need me to do this with you? Do you think that's what it is? You think this is like performative helping? I want to tread lightly because I, we need people to pick up this fucking trash on the beach. These, our beaches are fucked. So more power to him.
Starting point is 00:18:31 But first date, you guys have not met. A stranger was like, hey, you know what I think would be fun? Let's go pick up trash on the beach. And then what do he say? After the rain, it'll be even more trash to pick up. I think he's just a trash kink. So I've oscillated throughout the years about like first date activities. And I think especially in LA, a lot of people that are sober that don't drink.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Like even this guy I was with last night was like, I don't really drink that much. I'll, like, drink on. a date, but, like, I would never, like, drink at home. Like, I think a lot of people in L.A. don't really drink, so they're looking for non-drinking activities. And I'm fine, of course. Like, I just, I want to, like, sit across from you and have a coffee.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I don't need to, like, clean up trash, like, a volunteer thing on the beach. I don't, some people might like it. I really like any sort of volunteer effort, trash or otherwise, on a date. And, but, like, a first date asking a woman to go pick up trash, it's not hitting. Like, what are you going to wear to pick up the trash? A orange vest. As someone who had to pick up trash.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Court mandated. Like do you wear a bikini top? What if the trash gets on your stomach? I'm so dead. A trash rash. Just to show something like a sexy bikini. She's like, I thought we were doing a beach thing. He's like, here's your fluorescent,
Starting point is 00:19:45 here's your high-vis vest and your trash picker. Do you think he would have brought those claws to pick up? That's what I'm saying. Does this dating? Like, both of you right now are, I want to say, on fire. You two are on fire. The guy is not so sure. Also, by the way, people probably think I sound so awful, and I do.
Starting point is 00:20:09 And I wouldn't be here if I was contagious. I am no longer testing positive. I just have a lingering cough, which I think we can all understand. Plus, Raina said the flu shot, so. Do you think people are like, say Brana? She's not safe that close to Ashley. People get weird about it. I mean, I feel like ever since COVID, people are like, how could you?
Starting point is 00:20:26 And it's just like, I did my time. You're much more than me. Like, I'm always like, yeah, I'll be right. around people, I don't care. Yeah, I'm sick. I'll go out. Yeah, you're sick. I'll go out. Like, you're the one that is like, I don't want to get people sick. It used to be way more acceptable to be sick and out. I mean, I was sick for... It was admirable. Do you remember I was sick for years that one time? It was admirable. To be working, performing, doing whatever, fucking hacking up along. Someone's like, they are strong. And then 2020 happened. And it was like,
Starting point is 00:20:56 you're an asshole. Okay, but do you remember like you couldn't sneeze in public? Oh, when I sneeze in public now. Oh, it feels so nice. Okay, I want to hear more about... I think that's all I have to say about hand. Oh, no. How did it... How did it go?
Starting point is 00:21:14 It was great. We had a lot of fun. You said to use the Lou, bitch. You can't just tease the audience and me like that. Y'all tell you offline. Okay. It ended well. Yeah, we had a good time.
Starting point is 00:21:26 It was a good time. You were in the same height laying down. Yeah, we were. He was like, you're going to talk about this? I was like, I would never. Never. Oh, my God. You should have heard the speech I gave him about privacy.
Starting point is 00:21:43 And listen, this is just a person in the world. You guys don't know who this is. So who cares? I only said nice things about him. He's hot. He does have a sexy smile. I will say that. You are not lying.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Okay. What else? Do you have anything else to talk about? What am I going on? Do you have anything else to talk about? Yeah, I've such a wild week. Yeah, fuck it. I'll promote my tour.
Starting point is 00:22:03 I haven't done it in a while. You guys take pity on me and buy tickets to my tour. I survived the flu, 2025. I live to tell the tale. Maybe I'll write some jokes about it. I'm doing one whole hour on the flu. Come watch me drag the flu. So yeah, if you guys, I'm going on tour on April 4th,
Starting point is 00:22:21 it's called the Sex Before Marriage Tour. I'm starting in Chicago. There's only a few tickets left to my third show in Chicago. And then I'll be in Phoenix, Miami, Tampa, Salt Lake City, Pasadena, Portland, Oregon, Washington, D.C., Toronto. Toronto is pretty much sold out. Denver, then here in L.A., Charlotte, Atlanta, San Diego, San Francisco. Raina Greenberg might be at one of those dates early on. Listen, I was watching our videos this morning from the tour, and I got the edge. Maybe we'll go back on tour.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Well, yeah, so grab tickets, ash-hess.com. again, a lot of these shows are like almost sold out. So get them now. Then I'm doing a couple shows in New York at the end of March. I posted about that as well. Like link in my bio and Instagram. That's Ash Hess. I promise I won't cough on you.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Maybe. Yeah, maybe. Maybe somebody likes that. If that's your kink, if you have a flu kink. So yeah, let's talk about our partners and then we will get into it. Okay, so we have a newer partner. Does anybody else struggle with health goals? Obviously, I want to succeed, but sometimes it's difficult to find the motivation.
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Starting point is 00:28:38 Thank you Zbiotics for sponsoring this episode and our good times. Okay. Let's get into it. All right, guys, we are very excited to welcome a special guest today. He is the author of Heartbreak Love From the Dizzying Hyes of New Romance To the gut punch of Heartbreak He captures the full spectrum of love
Starting point is 00:28:55 With raw relatable poetry He's also the... Not poetry, you hit it. You said it with your chest. Well, it's not every day a man writes a poetry book It will get to it. Shell Silverstein over here. He's also the host of the Powell's podcast.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Please welcome to the show, Ricky Leorty. Ladies, thanks for having me. I appreciate you. Thank you for being here. I feel like this is a couple years in the making. It really is. It's 2022, August 22. So he's a former celebrity of the show. What would you call him?
Starting point is 00:29:25 Infamous. Yeah, infamous. Infamous mention. There we go, yeah. Okay, do you want to hear how you found him and then what happened? Yeah, it just came up on my TikTok in 2022 and it was this like very good. You're my target audience. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Right. I was like, it was this very good looking guy talking about like, I can't get a date to a wedding. And I was like, fuck all the way off. I can't get a date to a wedding. You can get a date to a wedding. a wedding. No, I'm kidding. But I kind of went on this rant about, oh, these guys, these poor me, hot guys, you know, they can't get a date. And so tell us about that. TikTok and what inspired it. And then we won't, we'll play your rebuttal. Yeah. So I was, um, I got invited to a wedding
Starting point is 00:30:05 just didn't have a date to go with, right? Just I didn't have anybody. And I asked like a couple people close to me and they just said no. So I made them, I, hey, don't have a wedding date. like anybody want to go to a wedding kind of thing. Like I made it playfully. Did I think it was going to go viral? Like maybe, maybe not. You don't think it's going to go mega vial. It did.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Obviously, you guys saw it, which is really funny. But I did it more just out of like fun. It's like cheeky. My content's meant to be cheeky and relatable. It's meant to know people like dating isn't easy. Whether you're attractive, unattractive, smart, stupid, rich, poor. Like everybody struggles with dating. So I made that and I've had a couple other ones similar to that went mega viral too.
Starting point is 00:30:45 So did you ever get a wedding date to that wedding? No, the bride mess with me saying, hey, I don't appreciate that you are fishing for strangers on the internet. So my buddy mess with me, he's like, do you mind just not bringing a date? I was like, yeah, I completely. So I ended up taking a random stranger out for dinner like two weeks later. Okay. I'm trying to put myself in these shoes. Every bride is different.
Starting point is 00:31:04 I'm a bride to be. And I mean, now that I'm starting to understand what wedding costs, I understand what it costs. I would pay for it. The booster covers. Yeah, but no one's going to say, like, write me a check. Yes. But, yeah, it's very funny. A flex from you would have been like, I'll Venmo you.
Starting point is 00:31:17 What's the cost per person? Because it's like $3,400. Oh, yeah. All in, you know. But it just depends because Lee's wedding, like, day of. She was like, I gave you a plus one. If you find some dude on Bumble, bring him tonight. Like, everybody's so different.
Starting point is 00:31:29 So I can see both sides of a bride being like, can you not bring a random to the wedding? It depends how much money you have. And also how big the wedding is. Where do you live? How big is the wedding? How old are we? I'm not traveling to a wedding in my 30s without a date. That's silly. That feels.
Starting point is 00:31:43 But if somebody's like. I can't afford it. Really? You wouldn't travel to a wedding? It's not my dream. But if somebody said I can't afford for you to bring a date, a random stranger you met, then I'd also understand that. I think it was just because it was a smaller wedding and they didn't want to make like a big.
Starting point is 00:31:55 It was smaller. Yeah. So they didn't want to make a random stranger, which I completely get. I was like, hey, my bad. Like, this is not my day. It's not my day at all. I would hate to fucking put even a mini stain on someone's wedding day for like no reason. You were friends with a guy or like, I have dead that the bride got involved.
Starting point is 00:32:13 All that TikTok and she said. Everybody saw it. Everybody saw it. The conversation between the two of them and she's like, you got to talk to it. So it was, uh, it was, but wait, so you wouldn't travel to a wedding alone? So let me qualify that. Of course I wouldn't I have. But it's not my dream.
Starting point is 00:32:27 I think that like if you have a destination wedding and you invite adults, it's nice to invite an adult with a date. And if I've gone to weddings by myself where I've traveled and I've spent a lot of money to travel and then if I don't know a lot of people the week before I met her, I went to Boston for this wedding. And I didn't get invited with a date. and I didn't really know anybody there. And it was just a bummer.
Starting point is 00:32:45 It sucked to spend the weekend like that. See, I always get a plus one, and I haven't brought a plus one to a wedding in years. And we just had a wedding this past summer. My best friend got married. That's actually how we knew each other, same group of friends. And I got a plus one.
Starting point is 00:32:59 I didn't bring one because I'm just like, hey, if I bring one to a good friend's way, so that doubles my boost. You know, the cash in the envelope you got to give. Then the hotel, obviously they're going to stay with me. I can't make them pay for it. I'm going to pay for. Okay, what about do I pay for flights?
Starting point is 00:33:11 Do I not pay for flights? because it's a vacation. Then do I pay for everything? Which I'm the type of guy that when I bring a woman somewhere, I'm going to pay for everything anyway. So now I'm like, I just doubled my cost on this week-long grease trip. And your friends are there.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Yeah, I have friends. And what if I meet somebody too? Like, again, I probably not going to meet someone at a small wedding and like bum fuck nowhere at Greece. But you never know. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:33:33 You never know. I've been to so many weddings alone. All my college girlfriends, every single one. But like, they're my close friends. I know a lot of people there. It's tough. Like that wedding you went to.
Starting point is 00:33:41 It was like, You know many people and you're like here alone, but you also wouldn't have brought a random person. But like, why even go then if you don't know a lot of people and like you don't care about the person that much? If it's far away. I didn't care about her. I just don't know my closest friends from college.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I just didn't really know a lot of people in the wedding. I mean, we got married 10 years after college. Okay, also there is a woman in the room. And because you like motioned over. So just letting everybody know that you have a friend here with you. You guys do not hook up. We do not hook up. We are both single and straight.
Starting point is 00:34:07 We travel together. And both hot. And she traveled. Also, before you got here, She was like, we should go to a rodeo drive. You should buy me something. And I was like, are you guys dating? No, no, just friends.
Starting point is 00:34:16 We love her. Shout out Vicky. Shout out to Vicki. Yeah, she's great. No, Vicki's great. So one of my best friends that I do the podcast with Danielle is her best friend. So like our whole group of friends, like we all traveled together. Ironically, another one of our good friends, this girl Nicole, when we were in Greece a couple years ago, a big group of us, I ended up wanting to go to Portugal after I wasn't ready to go home.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And she's like, yeah, I'll come to Portugal with you. Yeah. So we ended up going to Portugal for three days. I mean, I love this. And we stand firmly that men and women can just be friends. We're just, you know, fucking with you guys. I've slept with most of my guy friends. But now we're friends.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Now we're just friends. So I've slept with some of my female friends as well. And it's not weird at all. It's like once you're that close with somebody to it's like you're just friends. There's like there's a clear divide. What if you're drunk? It's like no. Sometimes you just get it out of the way.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Okay. So I want to wrap up the story and then we'll explain why you talk about dating general. I want to play your rebuttal. and then I want to ask you why you can't get a date to a wedding. Okay. Featured on a podcast. They didn't mention me, but they just basically called out my TikToks
Starting point is 00:35:19 and talked shit about me and kind of roasted me. But the way they roasted me is just, you got to listen. You know, poor me, just a cool guy that can't get a date. It's like you could walk in anywhere and the panties would just throw themselves at you. I would suck that guy's doing for my dad. That was the best one.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I'm not even I was like sorry dad I'm trying to do something here I'm like oh wait hold on no you're right let me play it to the end that guy's dick and be like dad I'm trying to do something here thank you for reminding me that that was in the end it's so funny I remember reading the message I got from like my friend who told me about it and she's like Ricky like I don't know how to really say this but you kind of got roasted but also in the best
Starting point is 00:36:10 possible way. I'm like, how is that possible? She's like, it's the best backhanded compliment you'll ever get in your entire life. And I was like, okay, send me the clip. She says this to me, I was like, yep, this is, I'm taking this
Starting point is 00:36:22 as a compliment for sure, yeah. It was really funny though. I just, I'm really proud of myself. That was funny. That was really funny. So you talk about dating. How did you like get into that? So I made TikToks during COVID,
Starting point is 00:36:34 like majority of people did. I had an app with two of my best friends. We were traveling the states, like promoting this app. And the boyfriend application came out. That was like a big TikTok trend at the time. I made it. And like I had a couple TikToks go viral,
Starting point is 00:36:49 but nothing crazy. I had maybe that I know, 20, 30,000 followers on TikTok. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. I posted the video. I was in Houston, Texas at the time. I posted it, you know, 5 o'clock. And when I woke up the next morning,
Starting point is 00:37:01 like my phone's just like, like blowing up, literally. Like every notification is just 99 comments, 99 new followers, 99 likes. Like everything's 99. Instagram. I checked. I gained like probably 10,000 followers overnight. Wow. The video did 2 million views like overnight.
Starting point is 00:37:16 And it was just insane. I have like random blogs reaching out to me. It's like, hey, like we want to talk to you about this date. I'm like, uh, I'm just a normal fucking dude. From doing that dating application like viral trend. Yeah. It's not even my trend. I didn't even make it. Yeah. I remember that trend. I did too. Yeah. So I did that and then I'm obviously single. I've been single for a long time. So I just talk about, you know, cheeky relatable dating content that, you know, makes people feel like they're heard, they're seen, and I've just been talking about it a lot,
Starting point is 00:37:42 and it's kind of related to people, so I keep doing it. And yeah, I guess I'll stop doing it when I'm in a relationship. Maybe I'll just delete TikTok and Instagram one day, too. I get no problem with that. So we'll talk about your book, too, and why you wrote it and the motivation, but do you want to be in a relationship? Like, what's your dating history? I hate to say, why are you single?
Starting point is 00:38:00 I hate that question. No, no, it's fair. I appreciate you. But do you want to be single? I want to meet my person, but I'm not willing to sacrifice the current life I have for someone who's not. I've always been in long-term relationships my whole life. I've had two, four-year relationships, a three-year relationship, a two-year relationship.
Starting point is 00:38:14 So you can commit. I'd like to hear it. I've been in long-term relationship. This is all, I'm 34. Okay. So this is all prior to social media, though. So all my long relationships before I did any social media, broke up with my ex right before COVID. COVID happens. Like, that's a, I literally broke up a week before COVID, I think. And I'm like, I was traveling. I got back. Quarantine happened. She's like, I need to see you. I was like, this is a sign from fucking God that we are not meant to be together, literally.
Starting point is 00:38:38 So broke up, I was single for, I know, four years. Then I started doing this whole TikTok thing, social media, whatever. Met my ex last year around this time. We dated for a hot minute. Then that's kind of what led to the book. And she was long distance. She's actually from L.A. And you're from Toronto, just in case people are like...
Starting point is 00:38:55 So it was a long distance relationship. But again, she travels a lot. I travel a lot. Like our first date was like a marathon three-day date. It was probably one of the best dates I've ever been on. So, yeah, after we broke up, wrote the book. But yeah, I always said this. I would love to be in a relationship.
Starting point is 00:39:07 but I'm not willing to sacrifice my happiness and the life I currently have for someone who might not be it. So when you say sacrifice, what are the things you're like, I will not stop doing this? So when I get in a relationship, it's not just about me anymore.
Starting point is 00:39:19 It's not just, hey, I go to work, after work, I go to the gym, after the gym, I get to go, meet up with friends, and just like, hey, you got to make time for your person. Whether it's the daily FaceTime calls that me and my ex used to have, or maybe it's safe,
Starting point is 00:39:30 making time for phone calls or date nights or being there for them, whatever it is. Like, I can't be going out to the bars two to three nights, a week with my buddies just for casual drinks to hang out with them. Like, you have to make sacrifices when you're in a relationship. And right now, there's nobody in my life that I've wanted to make sacrifices for. I met my ex, literally, our first day. I was like, yeah, cool, ready. I'm like, cool,
Starting point is 00:39:51 we deleting social media tomorrow. I'm down. Like, not actually, but you know what I mean. But I want to hone in on this, like, sacrificing your lifestyle. Like, and also when you meet the right person, you don't consider it sacrifice. I mean, that people interpret that word in a multitude of different ways. But I just like what you're saying and I feel like I really felt like this prior to meeting my partner, Raina feels like this. Like your life is great and it's fun and it sounds like you do whatever the fuck you want all the time. It sounds like your life is really full. You're talking about the travel. And again, yeah, work, gym, go out with my friends. Like, you need to make time for someone else and give those things up. And if it's the right person,
Starting point is 00:40:27 you'll be happy to do it. But I just really respect you talking about it in a way that we talk about it. when we're like, I don't have that. Like, when I decided I wanted a partner, I literally felt like I had to make space. Like, I had to make some changes and make space in my life because there was none. Yeah, like this weekend's the best example. I think this was not a plan thing that was like a month in advance
Starting point is 00:40:45 or two months in advance, like most people's, you know, four-day holidays. This is two straight, single people traveling together. In what world would that be okay if you had a partner? Couldn't be me. So again, I would have to sacrifice this L.A. trip if my future partner didn't have vacation days or the time or the energy or the lawn.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Just traveling on the fly in general. This is my, I don't know, fifth vacation this year. We're six weeks into the year. Yeah, 100%. There's times where I send friends flowers because they're having a bad day. Like, female friends flowers. Like, okay, if you have a partner,
Starting point is 00:41:16 you can't, you might not be able to do some of those things. Totally. Like when I go through some of my female friends, like, I'll pick up the bill just because I can. Well, imagine your boyfriend's paying for some other woman's dinner. Like, maybe not. So there are,
Starting point is 00:41:29 sacrifices you need to make. I think when you meet the right person, they don't feel like sacrifices. Totally. Like again, my ex, when we started dating, I was just like, yeah, cool. Like, I was on a bachelor party in Arizona. Instead of flying home, I literally just flew over here for two days. Love it. Just to see her. And then flew back home for there.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Hey, a little sacrifice, but I didn't care. I didn't think about it was a sacrifice because I was so excited to see her. Totally. Yeah. So I want to ask you, like, it sounds like you have a very full life. It's busy. You've mentioned like four different trips since you got here, Vegas and Dallas. And it sounds like you do a lot.
Starting point is 00:41:58 And you get up. you work out, you're doing Venice Run Club tomorrow. So when you meet somebody, how important is it to you to feel like they fold into that and do it with you versus like don't have similar interests and hobbies? My future partner will have majority, if not all, the same interests I have. Obviously not all, that would be tough. But if they don't like fitness, I always said,
Starting point is 00:42:19 my future partner has to be fit. And fit can look many different ways physically, but they have to enjoy doing physical activities, whether it's biking, running, swimming, workout classes, I don't care what it is. I love that. It's so part of my life. Imagine if I dated someone who didn't and wouldn't understand the fact that I need to go every single day for my mental health and because I'm fucking vain too.
Starting point is 00:42:39 I am. So I want to look good. So I have to go every day. One of my exes wasn't as into it as I was. And I remember one night I was at work late and she was coming over for dinner on my can. I'm going to be 30 minutes late. She's like, why? I'm like, I have to go to the gym.
Starting point is 00:42:52 She's like, no. Just skip the gym. I was like, I can't. She's like, why? I'm like, because you don't understand this, but I need to. She's like, why do you need to? I was like, look, you don't get this like I do. I have to for my mental health.
Starting point is 00:43:03 So I think my future partner will have a lot of the same similarities and interests that I have. And even I said this recently too, one of my dating prompts, when I used to have dating apps was, you know, what's your typical or what's your ideal Sunday look like? And I'm like, wake up, do a half marathon, go for a boozy brunch, meet up with our friends, go get pizza and then like binge watch Harry Potter. And a lady, she comments, she's like, this sounds like hell, but she like liked the comment. And I had to X her. and she was stunning gorgeous but I'm just like, if you don't like that, if my ideal Sunday sounds like hell to you,
Starting point is 00:43:33 this has no chance of working. Right. You know, it's layered. Like, it sounds like the person that you were talking about not only didn't do those things. She also didn't understand why you had to. And I think that we don't have to do every single thing and common with our partners,
Starting point is 00:43:44 but we should be able to at least let them have space to do those things. And it depends on how much of a lifestyle it is. So someone said it's like, what if your person doesn't want to do this, but gives you the space to do it? And I'm like, I understand that, but Sundays to me are like,
Starting point is 00:43:57 one of my favorite days of the week. Yeah. If I don't want to spend my Sunday with you, what the fuck is the point of this? Totally. I mean, like literally. I see a world in which some women wouldn't like the regiment, you know, like, it might not be for me.
Starting point is 00:44:10 I'm super into fitness. I'm thinking majority women wouldn't like that. But like, in terms of like you can't skip a day, that might not be the type of guy I would want. But there's plenty of women out there. And you just can't be with somebody who isn't going to do those things. Like, we have a guy friend, Rob. And he's like really into cycling.
Starting point is 00:44:26 And he was like, never. going to be with a woman who didn't want to do that. They were on their honeymoon, cycling around France. He's like, I'm not going to be with a girl who doesn't want to cycle and doesn't want to do these outdoorsy things because he's so passionate about he wants to do it with his partner. For me, one of my favorite things is, and I always
Starting point is 00:44:41 say this, I'm never home. Actually, I wake up, I leave my condo or my parents' house wherever I was the night before. I'll wake up at 6 a.m. 6.30. I'm at the gym. Then I go to work all day. After work, I book things to do because I enjoy doing things. If you're the type of person that after work, you want to go home and
Starting point is 00:44:57 cook dinner and binge watch whatever is on Netflix. Like, yo, I love that for you. And that's amazing. And that's great. You're just not my person. I just, I can't see myself doing that four days a week. I just,
Starting point is 00:45:08 what do you do? Well, I own a pickleball team. So I play pickleball once a week. I do workout classes. I have the podcast. Okay. I travel,
Starting point is 00:45:16 you know, every two to three weeks. There's always something to do. And then there's the influencer events that we get invited to to, which are like a lot of fun. Yeah. And I have random people that come with me to these things. And then there was like,
Starting point is 00:45:25 you know, people I'm kind of interested in. that don't want to do any of these things. I'm like, okay, how would this fucking work? Totally. I'm inviting other people to these things that I would want to do with you. Or I'm going to stop doing them myself and then I'm going to lose myself.
Starting point is 00:45:37 And that's not fun either. It sounds like your life is really full and I would give different advice to different people. It doesn't seem like you're complaining about being single. If you were like, I've tried everything and I can't find anybody and I'd say, well, who you're searching for? And you'd say, well, I want to find exactly the same person as me.
Starting point is 00:45:51 I'd say maybe open up your mind a little bit. But it doesn't sound like you're like, I'm so miserable. My happiness is anchored in another person. I really, really want to find somebody right now. We're all to have our own boundaries. Yeah, don't get wrong. I would love to meet my fucking person.
Starting point is 00:46:06 I would love to meet my person and be doing everything I'm doing right now with my person. Okay, but I haven't met them yet. Great. My life out of 100 is a 99 out of 100 right now. I truly believe I'm that level of happiness. I'm missing one. The one person I'm missing is that extra $1.99 out of 100. Am I going to risk my 99 for someone that might not make me
Starting point is 00:46:27 100? No. But when I meet my one and I thought I did last year and it didn't work out, but I'm willing to risk it for that one to complete my happiness level chart, whatever I want to call it. And you'll probably meet somebody doing those things you love to do. Like if these women are up Sunday morning running, like that's your type of person. Fucking right. Yeah. That's right. Go to all these stupid singles mixers and run clubs and pick up. Everyone keeps saying run clubs and pickable. That's where you meet people. I fucking play a lot of time. I'm in like three run clubs. I haven't met a single fucking. person. I'm like, what the hell?
Starting point is 00:46:58 Venice Run Club tomorrow, though. Venice Run Club, you never know. So there are days where I look, I'm like, fuck, I must be the problem here. Like, there's got to be something. Because like, but that majority of the time, I'm like, ah, fuck it. I just, my, my future wife
Starting point is 00:47:11 is planning Valentine's Day dinner with some loser right now. He's not treating her well. I'm just waiting for her to realize it so we can find each other. I feel like this sometimes, that your life is so full, it's hard to compete with it.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Like, I feel like I don't. You're competing with my life. You're competing with my life. my friends, my interest, my job, which is great, the travel I do. Like, I don't like ask people quickly, but sometimes I'm just like, if you're not going to be nice, you're not going to be intentional, you're not going to show up when you, bye. Like, my life is nice and I don't need to make concessions. And even on dating apps, and I hate using dating apps, example, because I do like dating apps.
Starting point is 00:47:44 I'm not on any really right now. I kind of use them just to like make friends when I travel. But on dating apps, people like, oh, I love to give me travel tips for you, but I love traveling, blah, blah. And then you go to their Instagram. It's like, you haven't traveled. So it's like, okay, you love to do all these things. And I understand there's boundaries, financial, like, hardships and all these other things.
Starting point is 00:48:00 But at the same time, like, if you love to do that, okay, well, like, prove it. How are we going to do it if you don't do it on your own? But, like, you go to my Instagram, it is an evolution of my dating profile. Like, you go to my Instagram. That's actually who I am. This is who I am. I do all these influencer things. I do all this pickleball things.
Starting point is 00:48:16 I run all these half marathons. I travel religiously. Like, the only thing that's not on my Instagram is my day job. You have a lot of energy. Thank you. Do you, in a great way? Like, you have more than the average person, I think. Oh, for sure. Can you think of a woman we know with this much energy?
Starting point is 00:48:31 Like, can you think of a woman that will do all this? Because I feel like girls are very like, our whole vibe is, yes, we're all doers. We're all fucking boss bitches. But we like to be lazy. We have a couple friends that we can talk about offline, but who live in LA are single, actually, that we could set you up with. But let me ask you, and you too, Ashley, it sounds like you have a lot of interests and hobbies. And I think that can be intimidating to the average person. I think most people are like, I want more friends.
Starting point is 00:48:54 I want to do a lot more. If you met somebody that was like, I don't really have a lot going on, but I'm willing to do the stuff that you like, because the stuff you like sounds good, you teach me to be more like you. I don't mean this in a joking way. Like if somebody's happy to just kind of go along with what you want to do and open up their heart
Starting point is 00:49:08 in their mind and new hobbies, do you like that? I think there has to be something already there. I think it can't be starting from ground zero. I think you've got to be a fitness girlier. You've got to be something. Something's got to be there of like your top three things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Okay, so for you, Ashley, like, but what if you met somebody? What are you going to engage. But they didn't really have a lot of interest in hobbies, but they're like, your interest in hobbies sound good. Like, the last person I was in a serious relationship with, I wouldn't say he had a lot of interest in hobbies. But he was excited to learn about the things that I had going on
Starting point is 00:49:43 and do those things with me. Yeah. So I think that's really nice, like that they get excited to do the things you love to do. But I also think they need to have their own things too. It's like you can't just be my shadow. Like nobody wants a shadow. I think to answer the question, question, my fiance's life has changed so much since he met me. He's going on tour,
Starting point is 00:50:02 you know, he's traveling with me a lot. But like, he had so many cool interests and hobbies before I met him and his friends were super important and I loved the day of this big friend group and he's got his like cars and his music and his shoes. And like I just liked everything he was into and had stuff going on. You guys have similar interests and we do have similar interests and we do have similar interests. And like I am thinking about this last relationship I was in and like he was a great buddy to do stuff with. He was positive and, he was positive and excited. He wanted to learn about the stuff that I was into. But I don't know that he was like bringing stuff to the table. Like, I got tickets to this thing. I thought we would like it.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Right. So if you don't mind me asking, why didn't it work out? Difference in lifestyles and goals and how we wanted to live. Different in lifestyles. Yeah, motivations also. So again, if he's someone that just wanted to do what you're doing, and again, there's nothing wrong with people like that either. It's just, I can only speak on my behalf. I want someone who is similar to me like a go-getter who wants to do all these things. If my future partner loves Pilates, and I don't fucking know anything about Pilates, she loves it.
Starting point is 00:50:59 I will fucking do it with her too. And I will jump onto that because it's still part of that physical fitness and the idea of going somewhere. I love going to sporting events. I love hockey, basketball, soccer. Let's say she loves, I know, fucking cricket. Let's go to the cricket.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Let me get a new team. We can find the middle ground. One of my exes, she didn't care about football before she met me. We got to pick her favorite team together. Love it. Like, I bought her a jersey. We'd sit down there,
Starting point is 00:51:22 get her into fantasy football. It was something we did on Sundays. And she was excited about it. That's fun. Now it's still her favorite fucking team. You know, like 10 years later or something. To me, that's fun.
Starting point is 00:51:32 But she had an interest in going to football games, going to do things. So I think it all depends. Like if you have this, I don't want to call it a person born, but if you have someone that's got like a blank slate that just hasn't, doesn't have anything,
Starting point is 00:51:44 it's tricky. If they've got their base and you're evolving and growing together and compromising with each other, then I think it works. And I don't think most guys, want that. I think if they want a woman that's got nothing going on so she can completely fold into their life and they can control her completely huge red flag, every single man we've
Starting point is 00:52:00 ever spoken to, all the people on the show as well as our friends, our brothers, like, you want a woman who's got stuff going on. And so that's what we say to single women, like get your things you're passionate about, get a full life. Because it's attractive. I've never heard a guy say like, I just like a girl that's got nothing going on. So she can just do my shit. Even people on, like, where can I find good men these days? I don't know. What do you like doing? Right. Right. I know there's no good men there.
Starting point is 00:52:24 I'm like, you keep doing it. You're going to find one. You're going to find someone for you doing the things you love. That's why, again, I go to these workout classes. I go to these run clubs. I do everything. Yeah, okay. Obviously, I do certain things alone too.
Starting point is 00:52:34 But anytime I go to, I get invited to an event that's like fitness and charity related, I like make sure I'm 100% there because those are two things I love, fitness and charity. Love it. Anytime I get invited to a sporting event. I'm like, fuck yeah. How can we go? Are there people coming? There's just a group of us?
Starting point is 00:52:48 Amazing. Oh, we're traveling to the Hamptons next weekend? Fuck yeah. sign me up. Who do I owe money? Those are things I love doing. If I can meet someone doing the things I love, it's going to work. What's up with Vicki?
Starting point is 00:52:59 Vicki works too much. No, we love Vicki. I'm not her type, actually. Okay. What's your type, Vicki? Yeah, Vicki. Tall, dark, and handsome. Do you like some of less energy?
Starting point is 00:53:07 Yeah. Less energy, okay. Well, to his point, like, I work a lot and, like, work is a big part of my life. I work in schools. Okay. So to your point, I've met a lot of people at work in that industry because that's where I put all my energy. I feel like our core values are a little bit different.
Starting point is 00:53:25 That's totally fine. Again, we have guy friends. We same. I mean, one of our closest guy friends, I mean, him and I could have a ton of my godfriends. I couldn't ever be with. They stay at your house. Yeah, they stay at my house. They walk around with their shirts off.
Starting point is 00:53:36 I would never ever be like, maybe I can find the bedroom with you. Okay. Rayna, I'm going to talk to you about him. I can see a woman being like, I cannot, I won't be able to pin him down. Like, I can, I think women like consistency and stability. And so I think they might be like, he's got, it's too much. Like he's this, he's here, he's there. And it's not that they don't want to do that. And I'm not saying that they're right. And they're right for that. But like,
Starting point is 00:53:58 in them, they're right. I think you'd have to prove like I can be consistent and stable and like you can rely on me. Like when I think of you, I think of like, we used to talk about these guys. He's like Sagittarius type guys. I don't know what your sign is, but you can guess. It sounds Sagittarius, but are you? No. Not good. You seem more high functional. Also, we're not that into astrology. I'm just saying like we used to joke like you can't pin him down. Like, you, You know, I think most women just want someone they can count on. And you can do both. You can be all over the place.
Starting point is 00:54:28 You can travel. You can have all these activities. But at the end of the day, like, there needs to be some stability there too. 100%. So I guess it depends on, like, what your life is full of. Somebody who just travels a lot on a whim all the time, that I could get behind. The pin him down. Like, if the, I can't pin him down because he's always on a trip.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I'm super behind that. I'll go with you. I'll plan stuff with you. That's really fun. But like lifestyle was, I had feelings for somebody who's a very outdoorsy person. He likes to mountain bike and snowboard, and I don't like any of those things. That is what he wants to do all the time constantly. And like, we didn't date.
Starting point is 00:54:59 But, like, it would have never been an option. I don't like to do any of those things. He's another person. It's hard to, quote, unquote, pin him down. But the person he ended up with is somebody who likes to do those things a lot. She's nothing like me. So I think she probably likes his brand of camp pin him down, whereas I would fucking hate it. You're on a mountain every weekend.
Starting point is 00:55:18 You're camping every weekend. Absolutely not. But you're on a trip every weekend. Yeah. And to your idea that most women would think this, and you are 100% correct. I'm also not looking for most women. I'm looking for a very specific person.
Starting point is 00:55:32 I've been single for so long, and I've dated so many, like truly amazing women. Like, they are perfect for somebody. And I know they are. And so many women I've gone on dates with and, like, we had short flings, have met their person. And I'm so happy for them because they're great people.
Starting point is 00:55:46 The thing is, they weren't mine. I'm not going to waste anybody's time. and I know so many women that would be great for me, great, but not perfect. I'm not going to waste anybody's time. I'm not going to waste my own time, and I'm not going to settle for great. I'm going to settle for perfect,
Starting point is 00:56:01 because I believe my perfect person's out there. Perfect for you. Perfect for me. My perfect thing. There's no such thing as a perfect person. Everybody's got their flaws. But my perfect person exists. Okay, we're just going to take a really quick break
Starting point is 00:56:11 and then get back into it. I am telling you guys about symbiotica. I love this so much. I know I recently was sick, but prior to that, I don't even remember the last time I was. And one of the reasons why I do feel like is because I really keep my immune system healthy, you know, sometimes they're going to get you no matter what.
Starting point is 00:56:29 But outside of that, I mean, I really do consider myself super duper healthy and I always like to be focusing on my immune support. I take the liposomal vitamin C from symbiotica every day. It's these little packets. You just rip the top open or cut it open. I scored it directly into my mouth. It's a vanilla citrus flavor. It's so yummy.
Starting point is 00:56:48 I really look forward to taking it every day. take a lot of their products. I like their super greens. They have a liposomal vitamin B12 and B6, which is going to support cellular energy and mood. And just a ton of products you can shop by benefit. If you want energy or immunity, skin health, detox, brain health, and focus, gut health, healthy aging, stress relief, recovery. They have all kinds of products. And symbiotica is really as clean as it gets. No seed oils, preservatives or artificial junk, just high quality, real ingredients that actually do something. I'm telling you guys when you take this stuff consistently, you will see and feel a difference. I am forcing my fiance to take it. I'm like, never again.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Never again will you get me sick. If you want to live here. I'm shoving that liposomal vitamin C in his mouth every day. I just am like trying to get back to fucking. Take it down the hatch. Yeah, exactly. So we just love it. I mean, again, I always say this is like the cool girl, hot girl wellness brand. I am just loving seeing where it's sold and all the girlies I see in my social media that are taking it. And I'm a great place to start is again with that vitamin C, but all their products are incredible. Symbiotica wellness made simple. Go to symbiotica.com slash girls got to eat for 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica.com slash girls got to eat for 20% off plus free shipping, CYM-B-I-O-T-I-K-A. Dot com slash Girls Got to Eat. Okay. And who doesn't love the good things in life, even though I enjoy
Starting point is 00:58:11 luxury, it doesn't mean I always want to pay luxury prices until I discovered Quince. And Quince is my and Ashley's go-to for luxury essentials at affordable prices. We love it so much, you guys. They have great belts, bags, dresses. And Ashley and I both have these Mongolian cashmere sweaters. It's 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater. It starts at $50. There's washable silk tops and dresses, organic cotton sweaters, they even have 14-carric old jewelry. These sweaters, I have them in a, I have cardigan versions. I have like tight sweaters, baggy sweaters, button downs. I really went crazy. I just ordered the 100% organic cotton boyfriend crew. sweater. It's like a little bit cropped. And then I ordered the Mongolian cashmere tea,
Starting point is 00:58:52 like the like short sleeve and like a Kelly Green, obviously. And I just think that'll be like look really good like to even tucked into like slacks with a little belt. It's just like it's a, you know, quiet luxury. It's luxury. Yeah. We love the colors, the fit. It's just, it's really a lot of great like capsule pieces for your wardrobe too. And they only work with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes, which are me love. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to quince.com slash GGE for free shipping
Starting point is 00:59:23 on your order and 365-day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash G-G-E to get free shipping and 365-day returns quince.com slash G-G-E. Okay. Do you want kids? Yeah. Do you have an age that you are like, this is the age? I want to start having children. No. Definitely. Okay, so you're open-minded about that. So you have time.
Starting point is 00:59:43 And I'm okay with adopting surrogacy, whatever. If my partner, my partner is, let's say, too old to have kids by the time we get married and want kids, then we'll adopt. We'll do whatever else we got to do. Like, I'm cool with it. Yeah, I think, like, you'll find her. I think my point is just like, I think there's a way to also show that you're like a consistent, stable partner. And it doesn't mean it needs to even be in person. Like, it's just like women are like, he's giving vibes. Not you necessarily, but like a guy might give vibes. I'm not going to hear from him for three days. You know, like, and I don't know how you are in dating, but it's just like you can do those things without like, is you going to text you. you back. You know, I think some of those guys that you feel like you can't pin down, you just feel like they could disappear off the face of the earth. A hundred percent. And you're falling for them and you're like, I don't feel secure. You know? Totally. And I'm not saying that's you. No, no, but it's a man's job to make whoever they're talking to or their dating feel secure. My thing is, and I get what you're saying. And women could look at me and say, this guy's got too much going on. Like, I'm not taking this risk.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Same time, everything I do in my life, I'm consistent with it. Everything, like, I'm 34 years old. I have a day job that I've been there for 10 years now, my family business. I've been doing this, social media thing for four years. I wrote a book, which I'm not saying that's consistent since the first book I read, but it's a commitment. It was a commitment. I look the way I do at 34 years old when, you know, most men my age are starting to go the opposite direction of looks. I show up every day at everything I do. That's my resume. Yep, I love it. That's my resume. Again, if I'm not for you, there's nothing wrong with that. I've had many women that I've pursued that were just like, I, no, it's not going to work. I'm like, why? What I did? They're just like, you're too much. Yeah, you're too much. And I
Starting point is 01:01:14 made a TikTok about it that went viral. It's like, if I'm too much for you, that's fine. Go get less. Go get less. Because I'm going to find someone that I am perfectly much for. And who knows what it'll look like? But yeah, if you saw my ex, I'll show you guys offline after, if you saw her socials, and again, just by, I'm not saying social media is a good judge of character or good judge
Starting point is 01:01:34 of who a person is, but you can see a lot of their vibe. And this person, their social media page looked similar to mine. Like going, doing all these wild things. You're like, what the fuck? How are you doing that today? And like when people come to my page, I want them to be like, weren't you in Florida last week? Now you're in L.A.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You're going on this Girls Got to Eat Podcasts, and then you're going back to your construction job on Tuesday. Like, what the fuck? You have an exciting life. What was that one survey? It was like they asked people, would you prefer an exciting life or a stable life? And most people say stable,
Starting point is 01:02:00 and I'm going exciting. All day long. I want both. Okay. I want to talk about your ex, however much you want to share. But you said that someone who changed your perception of love inspired the book.
Starting point is 01:02:11 And then it also sounded like there was a painful breakup involved. I mean, obviously. I wrote a book about it. Yeah. So, um, you know, I met this person. Look, I was single for so long that when you're single for an extended period of time, especially when you've been in relationships and you've had love in your life more than not, when you're that single, you start to question, are you able to love? Or you start to question, like, is there love in me? Am I the hard one that's hard to love? Like, you question all those things. That's why I'm so thankful for my relationship with her because she reminded me of my capacity to love. And I, whenever I sign book,
Starting point is 01:02:43 because I was right. In the depths of heartache, we are reminded of our capacity to love. Because the more heartbroken you are and the more you're hurting, it just means the more you can love. And it's tough to remember, especially on your dark days.
Starting point is 01:02:55 And that's kind of what inspired the whole book. But it was just one of those situations where I was so long and I'm like, hey, maybe I'm just not meant to meet anybody. And I had those feelings so many times over the last couple of years. And then I met her. And it's just like instant,
Starting point is 01:03:08 like madly in love. I think we said I love you after like three weeks or something, which is anyone. who knows me like I'm like a six month I love you kind of guy. Oh wow. Okay. I'm a I'm a slow burner. Yeah. This one we had our first day by the end of the day. We're like we looked at each other at a bar. We're like, can we do this? Oh. We're long like can we make this work? From Toronto to LA. Toronto to LA. But like again, we also had a whole bunch of other travel plans like preset. Sure. So we're like can we make this work? And we're like, fuck it. Let's do this. Like and then ironically I started three times in the next like six weeks. So it reminded me on my capacity love and I'm forever thankful for her and for that relationship.
Starting point is 01:03:43 It's unfortunate that it didn't work out. It's unfortunate that I had to get my heart broken to be reminded of those things. It's a lesson learned. And I do believe something good came out of it. And I do believe in every relationship you're taught a lesson or you're taught something. And I think mine and this one is that I am able to love. And I do have a large capacity to love. And I think the outcome is the book.
Starting point is 01:04:03 And who knows? Like I might write another one. I don't know. But I think it's just altered my life in such a massive way, both positively and negatively. But I will be forever thankful for her. I love this. And I thank you for also saying that like when you are single for a long time, you do start to think like, am I no longer lovable? Other people have in the past, but, you know, maybe I'm not lovable anymore. Maybe I've just been doing this on my own for too long. And I'm
Starting point is 01:04:25 incapable of letting a person in. And you were, Ashley was single for a long time before he met her long time partner. And I've been single for years now. And I do meet a lot of people. And I, I like them. They're fine for the time being. And I just, nothing has worked out like in a serious manner in a couple years. And those thoughts creep in sometimes where I'm just like, maybe it's just not meant to me for me anymore. And society also tells us that there's something wrong with us once we hit 30 and we're single. That's what society deems us. Oh, why you single? You're 30? What's wrong with you? It's like, well, fuck you respectfully. Nothing. Just haven't met my person yet. Some people meet them when they're kids. Some people meet them in high school. Some people meet them in university.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Some don't meet them until they're fucking 50. Well, and also those people that say that's, that's on them. That's like a dated narrative. You see it all the time. Oh, well, You're single at 34. You're good looking and have money and you travel. Why you single? What's wrong with you? It's like, excuse me? Other people look in the mirror before you come back to me.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Don't you think? Like sometimes people say like, well, you just haven't done the work. And we're, do you know many people I know in very serious long-term relationships that have done zero work on themselves? Fucking right. Like shit. Fucking right. Get treated like shit.
Starting point is 01:05:29 That's just the luck of the draw that you ended up with somebody. When people tell me online, oh, you just haven't looked. Excuse me. How many singles events have you been to in the last four? Because I've been to a fucked time. Right. All I'm doing is looking. I'm looking and I'm open to it. People are like, oh, you just don't want one.
Starting point is 01:05:46 I'm like, it's all projections. Yeah, that's right. So for me, I don't listen. I run down the gamut of the crazy things people say. That's just a projection of- Social media too. It's hilarious. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:54 Sorry Janine who lives in Idaho and her life looks miserable. I don't care what you think. Well, those people give you advice through the lens of their own life experiences and I understand. Like somebody's like, well, I've been my husband for 20 years and here's what. That's great. I'm happy for you. I can't relate to that at all.
Starting point is 01:06:10 You know? Like, yeah, I'm not with my high school or college sweetheart. We are different. Totally. And I love love too. Like, I'm the biggest cheerleader of love. You know, I used to talk more about how being single sucks and all those other things. Like, no, I am the biggest cheerleader of love because I want it around me.
Starting point is 01:06:24 The more love I have around me, the more likely I am to have love within me and I'm going to go find love. So I'm the biggest cheerleader. But sometimes I'm just like, shut the fuck up. Like, respectfully shut the fuck up. Right. I agree. Like, I think about people with life experiences that are so different than you and, like, really just shout to the people that realize that.
Starting point is 01:06:39 Like my brother and my sister-in-law, they're 35, they've been together since they were 22. They never dated anybody besides the other person. They have never given me dating advice. Love it. I don't want it. They know that they have no fucking business. Talking to me about what it's like out here, okay? And I fucking love that.
Starting point is 01:06:58 You know? Like they were never on dating apps. They don't know it. I love that they know they have no business. They just, they don't even, every once in a while my brother would be like, that guy's treating you like shit. Just open your eyes. But like, other than that, neither one of them had the audacity. to be like, well, maybe try this because they have no idea what it's like in this world.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Yeah. You don't have to answer this. You don't want to. But can you tell us why you broke up? Was it like a distance? So distance was a key thing. Yeah. And I've said this recently.
Starting point is 01:07:22 When you're dating like arguably the most beautiful person alive, it is so fucking tough. And that would be you or her. No, that was right. That's her. Thank you. I appreciate. No. So she was always traveling.
Starting point is 01:07:32 She's a model. Like she did all these like cool, really fun, exciting things. You know, I can get insecure too. Like, you know, we are all human. And there was times where I think I needed a little bit more than she was giving. And I don't think I communicated as well as I should have at times. So it's tough. It is tough.
Starting point is 01:07:49 It's not like you can just be like, hey, I'm having a shit day. Like I'm coming over to see you. It's like, okay, I'm having a shit day and you're in, you know, Dubai or something, living your best life. And I just, I want you with me. Yeah. So it is tough. Would I date a model again? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:08:03 It was tough because, again, she's like, again, a 10 out of 10. Yeah. My fiance felt the same way as you when we see. started that actually was too much to like be allowed out in public yeah literally like my my yeah anyways he thinks he does you you want that you want your partner to think you are the most beautiful person he does somehow i don't know i mean i feel the same way yeah i know like i look at him and i'm like oh i really really did that can't wait to fuck him like yeah yeah but no i'm totally kidding i don't think you hear a lot of men say out loud like my partner was so attractive it made me like feel
Starting point is 01:08:33 insecure and i good for you for saying that but yeah like everyone should feel about that with their partner, but then she's traveling all over and she's, you know, doing shoots and all that. Yeah, it's tough. It sounds like it was. Because again, if it was, we lived in the same city, it sees, it's okay, you're going to be home in two weeks. Like, this is no big deal. But it's like, hey, she was traveling for an extended period.
Starting point is 01:08:50 So it was high. So it is tricky. Everyone's like, oh, like, why did you do it at first place? You think I decide, hey, I'm going to love this person from L.A.? You think that was my first thing? No, I met an amazing person. I fell in love and we tried. It didn't work.
Starting point is 01:09:02 It is what is. If I met another patient in L.A. this weekend, fucking right. I would try it all over again because that's not the lesson I learned. The lesson I learned wasn't that distance is the reason it didn't work. Totally. I learned a different lesson.
Starting point is 01:09:13 And I learned that, you know what, in my last communication, maybe I didn't clearly communicate my wants and my needs as well as I should have. And some of that's on me. I'm not saying she didn't have her faults,
Starting point is 01:09:21 but I know what I could have done better. I love that. The distance is not what would have. You know what I mean? So someone's like, oh, maybe should date in your hometown. It's like, no, maybe I tried. And it didn't work.
Starting point is 01:09:32 And I learned a lot of lessons, dating people in my hometown too. I will date the person who makes my heart feel so full, who puts the biggest smile on my face. You know, you see those TikToks and memes all the time. Like, date someone that you want to stay on the phone with super late, even though you know you got to go to work in the morning. Someone that, you know, you smile every time you see their name on your phone.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Someone that you hear a song on the radio, you can't wait to send it to them. Like, shit like that. That's what I want. What did you learn about jealousy and communicating like, I don't like this? And how you did communicate it, how you changed differently in the paper. Yeah, it's not so much about jealousy. it's what I learned about the communication is that you need to clearly communicate
Starting point is 01:10:07 your wants and your needs even if you think it's obvious and I know like women on the same hand like same advice goes to that because there's times like oh I thought you would know it's like no men don't men are stupid we are literally when it comes to relationships we are stupid you need to like tell us straight
Starting point is 01:10:23 I don't like that you did X, Y and Z not like you know what maybe you could have done something differently it's like no spell it out for us but on the other side you know there are times I was having a bad day and I'm like I describe my bad bad bad day, but I didn't say I had a bad day, I need you. And it's like, I expected you to be there for me when you didn't even really know I had a
Starting point is 01:10:41 bad day. So clear communication and it's okay to be insecure with your partner. It's okay to show that insecurity. Your vulnerability, right? You know, the idea and this notion that macho men can't, fuck, I'm going to go on a rant here, but a couple days ago, someone posted somebody saying like, men need to toughen up. We need to get back to the old school traditional men that need to toughen up and be strong. Well, respectfully, I've done everything tough.
Starting point is 01:11:04 tough men can do. I've ran marathons. I've done high rocks. I've done iron man's. I can bench more than half the fucking worlds can. I can do all these. I work in construction. I make more money than the average person. I can do all these macho man things. I can do all those 10 times out of 10 then read that book in public. Reading that book in public when I did my book launch was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my entire life. To share some of your most intimate, vulnerable moments with the world is fucking tough. Having a conversation with your partner saying, hey, I'm not okay or hey you know I feel insecure because of X, Y, Z, that's fucking tough. Running marathons is okay, not a walk in the park, but it's not nearly as hard as some of these other things. So
Starting point is 01:11:43 the whole idea that macho men and men need to whatever and like men shouldn't be emotional and blah, but it's too feminine energy. Fuck out of here. Right. I fight with people in my TikTok comments, your energy is too feminine. I'm like, those people, no. Those people are the reason why this country's falling apart. Why we even a part? Yeah. So no, we just don't subscribe to that at all. But it's funny because it's like very like men will do anything besides go to therapy. Like, you know. Literally. It's fucking free in Canada for some people. Yeah. The first like four sessions are fucking free in Canada. I got to get to Canada. Can you tell us about the book? Yeah. So I, uh, I never in a million years thought I'd write a book, literally ever.
Starting point is 01:12:18 I journal a lot. I started journaling in probably 2016, 2017. I suffered from depression when I was younger. Went to therapy. My therapist got me journaling. And I remember telling her, she's like, you should start journaling. And I'm like, I'm depressed. You want me to start a diary? Are you fucking joking me? Get out of here, lady. She's like, no, Rick, it's not a diary. Just write down your thoughts, your feelings. Any words that stand out?
Starting point is 01:12:38 Dear diary. Yeah, dear diary. I'm fucking depressed. The end. Thanks for that. I feel great now. Like, come on. So I started journaling a lot, and I've always done it.
Starting point is 01:12:47 Whether it's notes of my phone, whether it's on, like, my workbooks, whether it's in an actual journal. And I was writing down all my thoughts and my feelings for the last couple of years. And then after the heartbreak, you know, obviously you've got different opinions. And when you're in love, you have different opinions and different thoughts and feelings. And then I started. reading quotes online and saying some quotes and some were my own, some are just quotes I generally
Starting point is 01:13:05 found online that I loved. And someone went there was like, you should write a book. And I've been thinking about, like, I've always loved the idea of like writing something. And I'm just, I'm not that literate, to be honest. I'm not like, I'm really not. And then I was saying, I'm like, fuck, you know what? An author that's not that literate.
Starting point is 01:13:21 I love the honest. Go off. Well, that's a nice way about poetry. There's no right or wrong way to write it. It's art. It is art. You get an editor. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:28 I'm going to correct it. Actually, you know, my editor gave me a bunch of things. I'm like, I don't like the way that visually looks, so I'm not going to accept that change. She's like, it's grammatically wrong. I'm like, it's spelled wrong. Yeah, smelling we changed. Yeah, smelling we did well.
Starting point is 01:13:41 Fucking, I wrote this before I got into Chad GPT so I could have used chat GPT to fucking autocorrect everything. Anyways, but I said, I was like, you know what? I started writing down all these thoughts, all these feelings, all these emotions. And I said, what if I can turn this into like a book of poems to be your companion on your journey through love? What if, like, you know, there's men like me, and I'm sure there's many other men and women who feel bad venting to their
Starting point is 01:14:00 friends who don't feel safe opening up and sharing these stories with their friends. Sometimes you feel like you're alone, literally. So the book is meant to be a companion on your journey through love and to know that, hey, you're not alone. It's okay to open up. It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to be insecure. Hey, flip through the pages of the book, find something that you resonate with and write
Starting point is 01:14:17 down your feelings. Maybe you don't resonate with anything today. That's fine. It's not meant to be read, start to finish. It's meant to, you know, sit on your nighttime, coffee table, nighttime table, and just flip through it when you're in your fields. When you don't feel your relationship with love is strong. maybe you're in a relationship and you don't feel that hey i'm not getting the most out of
Starting point is 01:14:33 those relationship let's flip to the chapter two when i found someone and i was head over heels in love and let's remind ourselves what it feels like to be in love you know maybe you're fucking heartbroken don't think you're going to okay well know that i was too and know that i felt the same pain that you're going through or maybe you're on this journey of like learning to love yourself again like yeah there's there's poems in there for you too so it's meant to be a companion on your journey through love whatever stage you are whatever phase you are and i'm really proud of it of all the things i've done in recent years it's one of the things I'm most proud of. That's amazing. Congratulations. Yeah, and I just, I like it. It's like
Starting point is 01:15:04 kind of low commitment, low stakes, pick it up when you need it, you know, I like the term companion. Yeah, me too. And it gives you something nice to talk to your partners about, you know, because you, every page has a little place to alter write your thoughts. Yeah, that's the idea behind it. You could share this with your partner. Like, you could both jot down stuff. Like, I know a couple, I'm not going to embarrass them, but they met and then they both started like journaling back and forth to each other. They both write these entries in this notebook. No, that's so cute, though. It was just very cute. Like she started it and then they both just started like kind of writing in the same book.
Starting point is 01:15:35 And so that's why I thought you could do this with your partner. Because I like the chapter titles. So there's hopeless love, endless love, torture love, true love, self-love. I think it's special. And a nice activity you can do with your partner. And of course, we'll tell you guys where to find all of his stuff. But maybe we can talk about men and breakups a little bit since this is about heartbreak.
Starting point is 01:15:54 And, you know, I think that when women break up with a partner, it is really, usually like you circle the wagons and your friends and your family and your girlfriends and you spend a lot of time journaling and crying going to therapy. But for me, I think men's experience in general, it's not for everybody, but it's different for men. I think women and men process breakups differently. I think women in the short term are more hurt and like they struggle more immediately, but then once they move on, they move on and it's over.
Starting point is 01:16:22 Whereas men is the opposite. Men are like, oh, I'm single now. I'm going to download day naps. I'm going to fuck around, do all these things. And then months later they're hurting. I think it's like a complete opposite. Women are more short-term pain, like in the immediate breakup and then men hurt later, whereas women don't hurt later.
Starting point is 01:16:38 For years, men hurt. Yeah, literally. We had somebody on the show of Connor Beaton. I always remember him saying men, they fuck it out and they drink it out. And that's not the healthiest way to process emotions. Maybe for a couple weeks, sure. I was very lucky that one of my last breakups before this most recent one, I drank a lot after that one.
Starting point is 01:16:56 And it was just like, that's the lifestyle I have. I live on arguably like the busiest street in Toronto to go out. I'm always out. I'm always doing fun things. So I was going out three, four times a week. After this breakup, I don't think I drank or fucked for like ever. Not ever, obviously.
Starting point is 01:17:09 But like I quit drinking, cut it down completely. I was like cold plunging every day, like going for walks, like stretching, working out. I got in the most wholesome era ever because I was just like,
Starting point is 01:17:19 I need to focus on me or else it'll be exactly what happened to me five years ago where I just drink, you're going out chasing tail and you're trying to do all these like stupid things where it's like, that doesn't help you. You're just going to hurt longer.
Starting point is 01:17:28 And when you do that, you end up, I don't want to say you end up hating your ex, but you blame them for everything. It's like sometimes it's not your ex's fault that didn't work out. It's just, hey, maybe right person wrong time or maybe just there's things outside of your control that didn't make it work. You shouldn't have to hate your exes. And when you end up drinking and do all these other things, that's when the relationships get like really hatred.
Starting point is 01:17:49 You know what I mean? Like if you're like both trying to get back at each other and doing things to like spite each other, that's, hey, I did my own thing. She did her own thing. We are cool now. And it's nice that like every time I speak about her, I speak very highly of her. Like, again, amazing person. And I've never said a bad thing about her ever probably.
Starting point is 01:18:04 So it's really nice to know that like I still care about her like in that sense and didn't tarnish my relationship with her. And like I would hope she would say nice things about me too because like I wasn't doing all these stupid things that I would have done in my 20s. It is really is fascinating. I mean, I think women get to work immediately. And we also have the circle around us. I mean, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:18:23 I feel for anybody man or woman who doesn't have those. people that are really going to pick you up off the floor and like invite you to dinner and cook for you or do the workout classes go to yoga like do the cry with you on the couch you know and women have a lot more of that we're able to get that pain out of our body with whatever it is again just like the crying the talking the pelotonin like talking is the biggest thing right yeah men after a breakup well now maybe there's a shift but before it was always like okay oh you got dumped let's go to the bar let's go find something right yeah how is that the first thing that comes out of your mind every time sometimes like yo i'm fucking heartbroken
Starting point is 01:18:56 I just want you to listen. But again, men are, and I hate saying this, like sometimes men are scared to talk about their emotions because it's not manly. It's like, hey, well, you know what? It is now. Exactly. Maybe there needs to be a shift in the world
Starting point is 01:19:09 because if more men supported their friends and their brothers and their male friends, like women supported themselves, you know, maybe we'd have less broken men and broken men just hurt women. You see the cycle all the time, like, girl hurts boy, boy hurts girl, boy gets hurt again, hurts another girl.
Starting point is 01:19:26 It's like, hurt people. People hurt people. You hate saying that. I don't want to use this example. Like, I love Zach Bryan. Like, I fucking love Zach Brian. What, like, this whole story, and you only hear one side right now, but it's fucking bad.
Starting point is 01:19:37 I don't know if you guys know the story. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about it. It's fucking bad. And I love Zach Brian. Like, I love his music. And I'm just like, fuck, man. Like, ugh.
Starting point is 01:19:46 How do I fuck? Yeah. How do I separate the musician from the person? I try to. But sometimes you're like, Kay, like, that's not what I stand for, right? Yeah. Like, that's, you know, that's, you know, that's, poor young woman that didn't take this payout so that she could be a face for all the women who had to take the panel of us because it's a fuck ton of money yeah
Starting point is 01:20:03 it's so i know that's a completely different conversation i didn't know where this was going i was like oh no he was like and i support everything he did yeah no no i thought you were going to be like you didn't hear his side of the story no it's like yo like hurt hurt people hurt people it's like you know instead of us just continuous like perpetuating cycle it's like hey let's open up let's talk about so that we heal so we don't hurt the next person just because we're not fucking whole the next person the next person my date isn't going to get any of the bullshit of the hurtness or the heartbrokenness from my ex because I healed.
Starting point is 01:20:32 I fixed myself or I did the best to end. I think that's a great place to end. Yeah, this is really wonderful. I appreciate. Thanks for having me on. You guys are amazing. You're great. This is so fun. Was this the most fun podcast? Yes. Okay. Do you know what? It's just like in the background story behind it to like, told me my friends. Like you go to what?
Starting point is 01:20:48 Those girls? I was like, yeah. Those girls. Yeah. You guys are great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I love your student. I love your space. Thank you for having me on. Oh, of course. You guys are ever in Toronto. you guys got to come online. Absolutely. We love Toronto so much. Oh, I will be in Toronto.
Starting point is 01:21:00 Oh, I will be in Toronto. My shows in Toronto are July 18th and 19th. Guys get tickets. They're going very fast. They might be sold up by now. The comedy bar. I have four shows there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:10 Amazing. Okay. Let's do it. Yeah. I'll show you around the city. Okay, perfect. Great. You should come, too.
Starting point is 01:21:15 We love Toronto. We love performing there. We love visiting there. We're huge fans. Toronto, and I got to stop talking shit about it because I do love it to my call. We all talk shit about our city. Yeah, we all do. You live in there.
Starting point is 01:21:26 So I said one of the things, though, like I said, if you think dating in your hometown is bad, you're part of the problem. So if I think Toronto is bad, that means I'm part of the problem. So I'm going to, one of my goals now is to be part of the solution. So I'm going to do whatever I can to make Toronto. Great again. Yeah, be the change you want to say. Yeah, be the change you want to say.
Starting point is 01:21:43 I want to make Toronto fun again, I guess. I don't know how to say that. I think Toronto great again. We'll wear a blue hat. Yeah. Well, where can people find your TikTok, Instagram, book, your podcast? It's your pal Rick on all socials, your pal Rick, exactly how it's spelled. The book is Our Heartbreak Love on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:21:58 The Pallas podcast, Pall's Podcast, just like that. Come follow me, come join me for whatever crazy adventure I'm going to be on and the week this gets released. Okay, and come see all of us in July, Toronto on the streets with Drake, and Girls Gotta Eat.com for everything that we do. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess.com, if you want those tickets. Raina is reina.
Starting point is 01:22:19 org on Instagram. Subscribe on YouTube, share this episode with a friend, and we will see you Thursday. Have a good week, guys. Bye.

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