Girls Gotta Eat - Money Doesn't Buy Happiness with Sahil Bloom

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

We are so excited to welcome back Sahil Bloom in anticipation of his new book, The 5 Types of Wealth. You will love this conversation about the different types of wealth, why money isn't the only thing that makes you rich, why people are obsessed with money, what "social wealth" is and how to cultivate it, and why the most unhealthy relationships in your life aren't the "toxic" ones. We're also covering a slew of life-changing concepts: Arrival fallacy, energy calendar, life dinner, list price vs. real price of success, relationship map, and more. Before Sahil joins us, we're talking about the week we lived together and what we learned about each other, two types of people when it comes to the bedroom door, and how we're managing our mental health. Enjoy! Follow Sahil on Instagram @sahilbloom, subscribe to his newsletter, check out his website, and preorder his book The 5 Types of Wealth. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Betterhelp: Get 10% off your first month at https://betterhelp.com/gge. Cymbiotika: Get 20% + free shipping at https://cymbiotika.com/girlsgottaeat. ZBiotics: Get 15% off at https://zbiotics.com/gge with code GGE. Nutrafol: Get $10 off any order and free shipping when you subscribe at https://nutrafol.com with code GGE10. Lume: Get 15% at https://lumedeodorant.com with code GGE. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at http://article.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you were the main character in a movie of your life, what would the audience be screaming at you to do right now? This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat. Really horny episode today. I'm excited for today. Maybe not.

Horny. Most of it? Sex toy filled episode today. I'm going to talk about living with you last week. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. It was fun.

It was lovely. I just meant we have a big vibes launch. today. So many incredible new toys to tell you guys about. We're so excited. I'm, yeah. Excited in our brains, our hearts and our vaginas. Yes. We'll thank our partners. We'll tell you guys all about it because this is such an exciting launch for us. Thank you to BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash GGE. And article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com. Finally, Zbiotics, get 15% off at Zbiotics.com slash gge with code GGE. Yes. And Thank you to Symbiotica. Get 20% off and free shipping at symbiotica.com

slash girls got to eat and Nutraful. Get $10 off any order and free shipping when you subscribe at Nutraful.com with code GGE 10 and Loomi. Get 15% off at Loomidodorant.com with code GGE. So if you guys are newer here, Ashley and I launched a sexual wellness business two and a half years ago. It's called Vibes Only. It is a line of gorgeous premium sex toys for your home. There's an app. Everything is Bluetooth connected. There's erotic audio in it. There's a remote control feature in it.

There is consumables like lube and flavored blow gels. And we're so proud of this company. And Valentine's Day is coming up. So this is our sex Super Bowl, if you will. No, this really, really is. So we have some amazing new stuff and we just have some revamped classics, if you will. So let's just get them out of the way. The revamped new colors.

And into you. The tried and true. So five new things to announce. Two completely brand new products that we're going to tell you guys about. Two new colors of bestsellers. And we have our suck and blow gel, which is a flavored oral enhancer for any body part. And it really is just one of our best sellers. And we are releasing raspberry cream this Valentine's Day.

Yes. And so if you were like, what's an oral enhancer? You suck dick with it. Yeah. And, you know, it's safe as well. So you can eat pussy with it. But we really feel responsible for a lot of dick. sucking and we test these flavors so much to make sure they're perfect like we do a lot of R&D

for you guys to suck the day but we really have not done raspberry it's this like really just delicious light taste there's no after taste it is sugar free it's gluten free if that's a concern yeah and that just tastes really yummy and you just need a squirt and put it on the body part of your choice and suck or lick away and just get a little tasty treat and we sell so much of it we love that our top sellers, a suck and blow gel. Totally. It makes you salivate. If you love blow jobs, it's going to make you love it even more. If you're not super into it, it's going to make you enjoy the experience. Yes, exactly. If you're like, I want to learn to love to suck dick, like this is. Raspberries. Yeah. That's my favorite fruit. You know, I have raspberries every

morning. Well, what made me think of this is, I worked at the cheesecake factory for years, obviously, and our number one cheesecake flavor was raspberry, like raspberry cheesecake. So we're like, what about raspberry cream? It's my favorite fruit. It always has been. It's tough when they're not really in season, but like my farmer's market's still selling them and I get raspberries. Every Saturday at the farmer's market for the week, I start my day. That's the first thing that goes to my body. It's my favorite tasting fruit, has a lot of fiber, and that's what keeps me regular and keeps me going. And if you're like me and you like to give a blowjob in the morning, the first thing that goes in your body can be raspberry flavor. Yes, and more ways than one. A lot of raspberry in the

morning. It's a breakfast treat. And then the rest of the toys and the second blow gel, everything is packaged so beautifully. This is a perfect gift. for yourself, if you want to gift yourself something this Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day for your friends, your partner, the packaging is so beautiful on high end. It's the best packaging in the game. Like, there is no contest, no shade to all the other companies out there, but I guess a little bit of shade. But it's just a fact.

It's expensive. It's expensive. It's high end. We probably shouldn't spend this much on packaging. But here we are. We want you guys have an amazing experience, silky smooth. Everybody keeps the boxes. You can take the inside packaging out and use them for storage if you want.

You can keep your vibrators in them, you know, put them like, in your bedside table or under your bed or whatever. But yeah, the boxes, they're like apple boxes. You don't want to throw them away. Totally. Perfect gift. So to start, we are releasing new colors of our best sellers in the line, the stuff that we absolutely can't even keep on the shelf.

So the Raina, it is a double-sided vibrator. There's a suction on the one end and a just vibrating wand on the other. It is perfect to use of the partner or solo. It is a phenomenal sensation. It's really targeted and super versatile. Yes. And again, it bends in half. and so you can also use it for penetration as well.

So it can be used in so many different ways. Very versatile. So get yourself the cherry red reina for Valentine's Day. Yes. And we have the Richard Ring. And this is our cock ring. It's also made to stimulate the other partner's body as well. If you have a clitoris, so it's super stretchy.

It is one size fits most. And you are just going to put it on a penis. And then the vibrating end is going to vibrate on your clitoris. And then the other end is going to vibrate on your clitoris. And then the other end is going to. stimulate his balls. So this is an incredible toy. Like we launched it. It's sold out like a day. People are obsessed with it. And it was formerly in a hunter green color. And we released it in this beautiful blue color. We've never had anything. Yes. I call it turquoise. You know, we all see

colors different. Yeah, we do. I'll see colors differently. It's like that dress. We recommend using it with lube. Of course, that's going to help it slip on really easily. We sell a bundle that is going to come with lube and we have our cum clean up towel as well. So that is just a really great toy for partner play. Yes. And this sold so well. We couldn't even keep it on the shelves. And you guys really love partner play toys. We thought what else could we create for you guys that's different that you can bring into the bedroom with your partner? And so do you want to introduce this new toy? You guys, I will always remember where I was when I tested it for the first time. I was in Royal Oak, Michigan, where all the naughty things happen. The birthplace after our Detroit show, the dirty D.

That made you more. And yes, after that Detroit show. And we. And we. We wore lingerie at that show, just throwing it back. So yes, my fiance and I were super horny, and I was like, we got to try out this toy. And I thought it looked so cool and different. And again, you should watch on YouTube if you're not because this is really just like, what is she holding? What is she talking about? But this is truly a one-size-fits-all adjustable cock-ring. And why you might want a cock-ring in the first place is it increases blood flow for him, keeps him harder longer.

And it's also just like a fun, sexy thing to bring into the bedroom. And then it's going to stimulate on your clit, too. So it truly, these toys are. are really so perfect for partner play and really so wonderful to spice up the bedroom. Obviously, that's why the Richard Ring sold so well. But this is the Bond Band. And again, one size fits all. We have this adjustable slide to fit, these little bow ties.

Again, we modeled this after a tuxedo. That's the play on the Bond. And you will just put it on his member, slide it up for the perfect fit. And then the vibrator is going to vibrate on your clitoris. And again, you're going to be able to control the power. So it's going to be powerful enough. Or if you don't want a lot of stimulation, that's fine. It has a textured surface area, pretty wide surface area, so it's really going to, like, cover the clit.

And then you're just going to have sex with it. And it's incredible. It feels incredible. It is mind-blowing. I, like, screamed. It's really small and discreet. And so it's really easy to travel with. And we played with different textures and patterns on the part that goes against the clit so that we can maximize the way that it feels against you.

So you could really feel that pattern vibrating. Right. And also not have it irritate you in any way. It just feels really nice and comfortable. I mean, it looks so different than anything you guys have probably ever seen, but I'm telling you it's so easy to use. And again, you're just going to slip the, I'll put it on the mic. You are just going to slip the penis in here. It's on the mic right now.

And then slide it up like a little bolo tie. And make the penis fancy. And then just, you know, just a little power button on the side. And again, these all connect to the vibes only app. There is three pulse patterns and three intensity levels. Are people going to be able to hear you while that's vibrating on the microphone? And then you're going to have more in the app as well. And it really is.

It's water resistant, body safe silicone. And like Raina said, just discrete size to get you off anywhere. I mean, amazing thing to throw in the bag if you're going on a trip with your partner or just bring it over to their house. You live together, gift it to them. Again, the packaging is beautiful. Ask for it for Valentine's Day. Yeah, start sending hints with the link. Yes.

Any guy who's listening, get this for your partner and bring this into the relationship. And last and not least for Valentine's Day, we have a revamp of our Lucy, which is our bullet-fifference. vibrator that comes with three sleeves. So it is four vibrators in one. We change the colors every once in a while, but we have changed the colors, the packaging, and all three of the sleeves on this. So if you're looking on YouTube, you can see we have a rose gold bullet, beautiful red button, and then three separate sleeves. So you slide these on and they all stimulate different parts of your body. So there's one with a heart, and that is meant to obviously go against your clit, and it will simulate a large surface area. And there's some texture on it too. Oh, yeah. So if you

like texture, And then we have a lipstick cover, and that's really targeted stimulation. So some people like a larger surface area of vibration. Some people like something that's more of a tip. And so you can play with the different feelings and see what feels good on different parts of your body. And then something we've never done is this third sleeve, and it's supposed to target your nipples. And it's a really interesting shape. And I never played around with nipple play.

I was always just like, I don't care. I have these giant orbs on my body. What do I care? And I have really gotten into it since we released this toy because it's a sensation that's so interesting. I think the boobs get kind of ignored a little bit. Or people are just like mashing them around. But now you can put a vibrator on your nipples. And it really is just like another part of your body you can focus on and get pleasure from.

And this is a perfect toy, whether you are solo or want to use it in the bedroom of the partner. It's not an intimidating size. You can pull it out of your purse or your nightstand and have your partner use it on you. You can also use it as like a little show for your partner. And it's so versatile because there's so many different sleeves. So really this is the toy that keeps on giving. Yeah, I love that you said it's not intimidating. You know, because if someone's like a vibrator on my nipple, first of all, this can be used anywhere else too.

You know, we just kind of designed the shape to like be able to like go on your nipple a little bit like this. But these are so beautiful. And of course, you can use the bullet solo. And these silicone sleeves just slide on and off like really easily. I don't, I can't pick a favorite. I mean, this is just the most fun thing. This heart. It's heart.

Yes. So this is the Lucy Love Kit. If you guys are curious about the name, great for Valentine's Day all year round, though. And again, the colors couldn't be more beautiful. Yes. We really hope you guys will love it. So we know this is a lot to throw at you guys. We have this all on the website.

Of course, we'll be doing social media around everything. These are easy to use fun solo or with a partner. It's a great gift for Valentine's Day. We just are proud to give you really high quality products that are going to enhance your sex life, whether it's solo or with somebody else. Yes. So this is the official vibes only Valentine's drop. is available now at vibes only.com.

Yes. Okay. Okay. So we live together for a week. We did. I had a roommate. You had a roommate. We both had roommates.

At the same time. Yeah, it's the most we spent time together by ourselves in one house, not separate rooms, probably ever in our friendship. Wait, whoa, whoa. No, I want to back up. You meant to say not in separate hotel rooms. We didn't share a room in this house. There was a house with two beds and two bedrooms.

Yes, we did not share a bed. Well, you know, I recently did get into sharing. as a friends of ours on vacations, but not you. You stay up too late for me. I would never share room with you. I mean, we've definitely been in houses for a week at a time with a bunch of other girls. We've been on like vacations. This wasn't a vacation. You know, this was like a trip we wish we didn't have to take. You know, the circumstances were not great, but we didn't really feel like safe or comfortable

in L.A. with like the air quality and like with the Zool and everything. And we talked about this on the episode, which we did last week, which thank you guys. It was really well received. And we appreciate all the comments. So just wanted to also say that. But yeah, so we really were out of town for a week and it wasn't, again, like, we're a vacation with a bunch of activities and dinners out and stuff like that. Like, we were just like hanging out the house a lot. Just like having wine, watching movies, working, obviously. That was pretty much it.

I read a lot of books. Oh, my God. You know, I haven't mean to talk to you about this. Your behavior when other people are reading books. And I know this about you because I've been on planes with you where I'm like trying to read and you don't respect the book. Like sometimes you'd like put head. headphones in and you think people respect the headphones are going to talk to you. Like,

I assume books are like headphones. People are like, she's doing a thing and can't have a conversation at the same time. And you do not respect a book. Yeah, but you're just in the common areas, wanting peace and quiet. And I'm sorry. Imagine that. In the house, I split with you. Here's the thing. You never even give me a tone that I'm annoying you. So I just keep doing it. So I've got. I will tell you, I will, I will, you're in a victim blame me on this. No, I'm saying you're really nice. Like Raina was like crawled up on the couch reading and I was like on my computer doing stuff. I was like working on my tour and like, you know, I want her feedback on different things. I have different things to say. Like I sat there like locked in working on my website for like four hours.

Like I needed to talk sometimes. I read a whole book. So yes, Rainer read a whole book where I sat there and worked at the counter with like my back to her. And so I would say things to her and she was responsive. And so I was like, she'll give me a vibe if she wants me to stop. You never did. Every single time I interrupted you, you were ready to have a conversation. I think you wanted to break too. So here's the thing, two things. I was openly hanging out doing nothing while you were working on our business. So I thought the least I could do is participate when you wanted to say something when I was so clearly fucking around where you were in my face doing work on our business. So that's the first thing.

It's kind of rude to be like, could you not bother me when we split the finances of this business. Oh, right. I was working on some stuff for our business, not just me. That's the first thing. It would be insane for me like, can you please not talk? to me while I'm on my trip. Yeah. And number two, I feel like I developed this skill.

I am so strong and brilliant. I can talk to you and read and digest the stuff that I'm reading at the same time. You were not doing that. Yes. And I cannot believe how amazing I got in it because you are really trying to talk. You do not respect the book. This is not like a do not cross line. Like you're like, she's reading.

She's not doing anything. You think books and TV are like the same thing and you're like, I'll interject. She'll talk to me while she reads. And I managed to do it. No, no. I would not want someone interrupt me when I was reading. But I don't know.

I might have not read in the common area. I wasn't going to hide from you. You could have been in your primary bedroom. No. I was like, I'll sit here and like give moral support while she works on our business. And it is just, you do dismal planes too. You just, you don't respect the book.

It's very funny. There's no party that's like, maybe I shouldn't interject. It's a very funny thing. Okay. All right. What else? What else?

You said you were taking notes I did, I read a bunch of books I read in five years Oh about me Oh about you Oh okay You want to do this? Okay

So one morning No no they're cute They're all cute things The first morning I woke up And that is when I realized That Ashley puts a giant Dining table in front of the front door When she goes to sleep at night

Nope here we go Let's go Let's fucking do this Where are my notes Because I knew this is gonna come up Okay I cannot have a door Without a dead bolt

I do not feel safe. I do not feel secure. I feel like this in hotel rooms. I have put furniture in front of hotel rooms. I'm sorry, but remember we were in Chicago and like you and Bella, didn't someone walk in your hotel room? I know that's very different. But I, if it's a key card or a code, I don't feel safe. I need a deadbolt.

I hate checking into hotel. I hate staying in an Airbnb without a deadbolt, like an actual key, I feel a little bit more secure. But again, I just feel like it's when you just have something like a keypad, come on in, swipe on in. I don't know how much they change the code for the Airbnb. I know they're supposed to change it for every tenant, but who's to say? So here's what I think. And listen, I'm not disagreeing with you. But like, if someone has made it that far, they're going to push that table aside.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no. What do you think it's going to happen? Nope. Right now, right now. What do you think it's going to happen? They're like, oh, there's a table in front of here. It was like a coffee.

It was like a side table. First of all, you said dining table earlier now. Yeah, I'm going to back up. It's a console table. That's what it was. It was a pretty significant hallway console table. Yeah. First of all, if someone was coming in, they would immediately hit the door and they'd be like, uh-oh, not as easy as I thought.

Better push a lot harder. And I would also hear it. Okay. And now they're struggling because they're not expecting that. You're not expecting furniture in front of the door. It may stop someone who's just trying to do like an easy break-in. Also, we would both hear that door and have a little more time. And I would make you attack them before we got assaulted.

Yeah. So I think it was smart and I feel a lot more safer when I put furniture in front of the door. I don't know if anyone's feeling me on this. Like doors without dead bolts are not locked to me. Well, there is a dead. It was dead bolted, but at a keypad. I'm saying that the deadbolt was a keypad. Not, I need an old school, no key card about it.

Nothing that beeps deadbolt. I didn't think there was things left. I didn't know about you. So the first morning I walked out and I saw that. So every morning our routine was that I like got up at like eight and I took a long walk every morning. And I had to like move that table every morning. Well, I had to put it there at night without waking you up. It's like a toilet seat.

It's like, I leave it up. you put it down. I had to move it without waking you up because I was like, I can't wake her up moving this console table. And I just, I didn't think there was things left. I didn't know about you. Yeah. And I was like, oh, she's a table in front of the door person. I'm just a don't feel safe without a deadbolt person. Do you do the chair under the handle thing too? No, but you know what I saw this thing. And I swear, so many years ago, it was like somebody, I don't know, it might have been page even. Like, this thing you can get from Amazon or whatever. And it's like kind of rubbery so it wedges under the door. So you really can't open the door. And I think if you move it, it sounds an alarm. Like, and it's teeny tiny just to, like, bring with you. Like, I just, hotel rooms without the standard hotel room deadbolt, I don't like it. I mean, anyone can just swipe on in. I learned how easy it is for an employee to just break into your room when I got locked out on the patio in Miami member. And I had latched it and locked it.

Yeah. And they had a device to unlatch it and lock it. And so you're like, if somebody wants to get in here, they can. Are those the only two things? We could let up on you. Let's talk about me. What is there more stuff? It's cute stuff, but we'll do you. I want to hear it.

I can't take a walk with you because your legs are too long and I can't keep up with you. And every walk we took, I was five steps behind you. And I just felt like your child just trailing behind you. This has come up a lot recently. Like, I don't know. Maybe I'm just angrier and I'm walking faster. Your legs are a foot longer than mine. I know, I have to run to keep up with your average pace.

So walks are not comfortable for me with you. We watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And that was really nice. I just thought that was cute. I've never watched like a real housewife show with you. And you got into it. And I'm liking this new season. Okay.

I did? I can't remember one person's name. Okay. Deeree. We watched the premiere of Real Housewives. Oh, that's right. We did watch an hour of Real Housewives. Yeah.

I bonded with Raina over her love language. You don't drink as much as I do. That's an understatement. I drink every day. And I got you to drink, which I was proud of by saying, are you going to drink this? Are you going to be a little bitch? And you drink. I think that's most of it.

Okay. Well, the safety concern led me to a question. I've been wanting to ask on the podcast, and I want the audience to think about it too. Because it's one of those things where there's two types of people. Okay. Okay. So there are two types of people.

Do you feel safer with your bedroom door open or closed? Not in a house with other people. You're a woman home alone. Is your bedroom door open or closed? People are very different about this. I'm surprised that anybody living alone would sleep with their door shut. So like I have to have my door open. because I have to hear what's happening in the house.

And I had two break-in attempts last year, which I didn't, I don't think I ever talked about on the podcast, but the same person tried to break into my house twice. It was terrifying to me. So at my current house, I have a security system all over the place. I said it every night, but I would, I always sleep with my door open because I have to be able to hear every single sound. People are different about this. Okay.

What do you do? Tessa. Door closed. Door closed. Dessa's door closed. Bella was door closed. But does it matter you live with a roommate? No.

And I've been living alone for the past week and I'm still all my door. So Tessa said she's door shut. I sleep my door shut when somebody else is in an Airbnb with me because you'll wake me up. No, if anyone else is in the house, yeah, you're sharing a house. You're on vacation with the girlies or whoever. Door shut. But when I'm a door open, like the thought of closing that door, I feel so much more at risk. Me too.

Yeah. But people are very different about this. You sleep with a check, Tessa, because you think it'll prevent somebody for, like, it's just an extra measure, like from somebody coming in there. I don't have a hallway door and my door, so I figured I'll hear the hallway. Like, you can hear everything. Even if my door closed, like, my apartment's like very thin. You'll hear that door.

And I'm like, I have one more. Yeah. Okay. People are really in two camps. They're like, it's one more step to get to me and that makes me safer or I need to to hear what's going on in the house and that makes me safer. And it's interesting. And like, you know, I think everyone should figure out their escape route out of their own home,

you know, from different. This is a scary thing to talk about. I think about the shit all the time. I've priced out what a panic room would cost. You know, like, I get scared about this stuff. As a woman living alone, I felt really safe when I lived in New York and I lived in, like, a secure doorman building. But, you know, it's just like I don't feel that safe all the time.

Even like, you know, security systems excluded. So it's just one of those things. Like, I don't know. It just, I think there's like two types of people. But you sleep with your door open. Is it because of his old? So he can get an out? I'm a door open.

But when I'm home with you, like you, like, you slept with your door open. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Yeah. So when we stayed in the Airbnb and the few times. I think like of the six nights we were there, three nights I had the door cracked for a old. Yeah. Okay. But I think I knew that. I asked you that before like years ago. Yeah. But yeah, typically like door shut when other people are in the house and door open when I'm

alone and scared. Yeah, I got a door open at all time. They need to hear every single sound in the house so I can stare at my ceiling and terror. And it's the same sounds every night. Like I don't know why I think it's suddenly going to be a person. All right. Well, let us know in the YouTube comments if you guys are door open, door closed. And there's no right or wrong answer. It's, you know, it's how you feel safest. Yeah. If someone's coming in, they're going to get you. Not if you have a taser.

Not if you have a console table in front of the door. Okay, let's take a quick break and then we will get back into it. All right. So speaking of my drinking habits, I do drink quite a bit. I love it. It's fun for me. But I know it is hard to feel good after a night of drinking. And so I found something that really works and it's a pre-alcohol probiotic.

The brand name is Z biotics. And I don't know. As I get older, I just don't feel as great in the morning after a night of drinking and zbiotics really is this thing that has me waking up feeling good and their probiotic was invented by phd scientists and here's how it works so when you drink alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut and it's that byproduct not dehydration that's to blame for your rough next day so pre-alcohol produces an enzyme to break down this byproduct and this is a proactive solution that wards out feeling miserable the next day and it comes in these like cute little

shots, you just take one, and I really just wake up feeling clear, because for me, it's not an option to wake up feeling crummy the next day and eating greasy food. So that's why every time I have pre-alcohol before I drink, I notice it the next day for sure. And if you guys are curious, go to Zbiotics.com slash GGE to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use GGE at checkout. Zbiotics is backed by 100% money-back guarantee. So if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember it ahead to Zbiotics.com slash GGE and use the code GGE at checkout for 15% off. Thank you Zbiotics for sponsoring this episode and our good times.

Okay, I'm so excited to talk about Loomie. I love this whole body's odorant so much. You can put it anywhere. It was developed by an OBGYN who just saw a need for it. She felt like people were being misdiagnosed and misguided when it came to their body odor. So this, again, its whole body pits, underbobs, thigh folds, belly buttons, butt cracks, vulvas and feet. It is pH balance for safe use below the belt. All the products are baking soda free and paraben free. And again, clinically proven to block odor all day and control odor for up to 72

hours. And I love this. I've used it for a long time. I'm really a fan. I'm fan of everything they do. I love the female founder who is an OBGYN who really like saw the need for this and just advocates for women's health and, you know, all the things that that we need. So I have it in a bunch of different sense. And you can get these starter packs too and you can build your own bundle. There's a spray deodorant as well for some of those hard to reach places. But I still do the stick. I mean, I'm just kind of old school like that. I don't know.

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token over our mental health is what's happening in the in the country and I mean rain and I are going to figure out, you know, how we discuss this stuff moving forward on the podcast. We know this is like escape for so many people, you know, like we're here to make people laugh and stuff, but it's just like this is the first Monday episode post inauguration and we didn't have an episode on that day. And it's just, I feel like I can't not address kind of where, how we're feeling and like how we may be planned to kind of move forward with our own mental health. I think so many of us, especially if you're still listening to Girls Got to Eat, have this real sense of like despair and doom. And as we record, it's like day two.

And I'm trying so hard to not let it affect every waking hour of my day. But it has been tough. And I just have so much anger at the people who voted for this and so much frustration at the people who can't see what's transpiring. right before our eyes. There are so many different words I could use to describe what is literally happening. The democracy is swirling in the toilet. It's about to be fleshed down. We have an oligarchy now. They're controlling the social media. They're starting to deport people. I fear for women, all women, women in red states, especially queer people, kids' education, people having access to health care, the elderly, like the regulations that keep us safe,

our water, our air, small business owners, the way the big corporations are going to be able to take advantage of it. It's all like swirling in my head nonstop. Like again, it's just a list that I think we all are feeling and we're like watching happen in real time. And I'm trying to figure out my plan to manage my own mental health and get through the day. And I can't be outraged every day. Like I am, but like I have to figure out what to get upset about. I have to figure out what I can actually do when we are just constantly outraged and angry, which does exhaust us.

We can't be effective. Anger is a catalyst for a change, but like you can't just be in a constant living doom scroll. That is not going to put us in a good place to move forward. I do think we have to have hope. I mean, I tell myself that 75 million people, 48% of this country voted for Kamala Harris, a black and Indian woman as our president. You know, we have two years when we have midterm elections, which I hope we're able to have fair elections going forward, whether we may or may not just have had one, you know. And I have to kind of keep hope alive and I have to really focus in on the people who are doing good.

And you always hear this sound bite of like look for the helpers and like look for people who are doing good. And I'm just like throw all your weight and all your support behind your politicians and lawmakers who are willing to stand up to this and vocally, openly, openly standing up to this. Because people will, will not. And no politician's perfect. No person is perfect. You know, you're not going to love every single thing they always do. but if they are really willing to stand up against this, like you have my support. We'll talk about it more.

I feel like I can't always even articulate it because I'm so fucked up about it. But I want to try to be effective and I want to try to protect my mental health. And I have got to focus on things that bring me joy at what's left of it and like try to enjoy my life. And I have to figure out how to not again, like constantly let every single thing outrage me. And I'm not even saying it's rage bait. It's actually stuff that is outrageous and stuff that is so insane and unprecedented. And that's just like where I'm at. And so I don't really know if that was like helpful, but I'm just going to like resist those urges to be like outraged and alarmist and like despairing every day and like kind of set my boundaries on like how I consume the news and when I consume it and like limit my time on some of these social media platforms that are now, I mean, completely.

owned by the government, essentially, and, you know, following people like Jessica Yellen and Emily Amick and Sharon says so and people that I feel like don't inflame me as much and give actionable items. And I think we said this with Emily Amick on our episode. Her book is called Democracy and Retrograde. Emily and your phone is her handle. And she's just, I think it's her overall sentiment that the antidote to despair is action and doing something. And, you know, so she's a great follow and we'll continue to do what we can. And that's just, that's where I'm at. I echo what you said.

I don't know. I'm not in a great place. You said today you wanted to talk about ways to protect your mental health. And I was like, great, I can't want you for you to teach me. Because we are two days into it. And I feel like, I feel despair. I feel really sad and I feel really scared for a lot of people. Not just, not for myself, for people outside of me, for children, for minorities, for the gay community,

for immigrants for a lot of people. So my sadness is not directed at my own life. It's what I'm afraid will happen to other people. And yeah, I have to have hope I have to separate myself from it. Like if that means I delete Instagram from my phone or whatever I have to do to protect my mental health, I have to remind myself of things that like bring me joy and separate myself from it, like this community and this podcast and having the ability to say you have conversations like this for now, you know, until we don't.

And that gets taken away from us too. But I love this community that we've built, and I think that you and I have hopefully put a really great mark on the world, and we make people laugh, and we do great interviews. And I have to, like, be proud of the work that we do and Tessa together and find the joy in life and take breaks from this and breed books and stay off of the news. And sometimes I need to just, like, protect my mental wellness because it's been like less than 48 hours. I'm like barely hanging on. And that's okay, too, to say, like, this sucks today. I don't know what to do today. Like, half of my city just burned to the ground also. I'm going to be. I'm going to. bad place. And I will find a way to like be okay because I have to and I want to be positive on the show and I want to give people tools for like feeling better. But I also want to acknowledge it like I don't feel okay. And like that's fine too. And it might take a little time. Yeah. I mean and the when people like this come into power, they want to exhaust you and they want to make you just throw your hands up and say like I can't do this anymore. And I have to bury my head in the sand and just deal with it. And I cannot do that. I refuse to do it. I think it's so

important to stay informed and, you know, fight back. I want to be. I want to be. I want to make that really clear, but like, I can't think about this all day every day, you know, and I'm lucky because I'm not at risk of, I don't know, getting deported, you know, like that's not, a lot of people don't have that luxury. They can't just be like, well, I'm just going to take a break today and not think about this because your, like, life is on the line or your security. And so I want to be sensitive to that too. Like, we currently still have the privilege of like ignoring what's going on for moments and time, you know what I mean? And doing stuff that brings us joy. And so I don't even know if this is helpful.

I just, I guess I want people to feel hurt if they're feeling like us. And, you know, I struggled this year with like going on a comedy tour, which I'm going to announce soon. And like, how am I supposed to do this? Like, how am I supposed to go be funny? And I'm like, it's actually all I want to do. It's just like be in a room with people and like laugh for an hour or whatever. So it's just like I'm like throwing myself into that. And obviously the podcast and the.

and vibes only and everything. And we'll continue to discuss it. This is not going to turn into every week. We're not doing that. We want this. And it's not because we aren't thinking about it, but we want this to be a place where you can get away to and laugh and get dating advice and, you know. I'm sorry for all the people that have had to watch the president say terrible things about trans people and gay people and immigrants and women and minorities this week. And we'll have to continue to digest that. And I can't even imagine how that feels because watching him say it about other people makes me so sick. So Ashley and I want this to be a place you guys could come to laugh and have a good time, but, you know,

it would be crazy to not acknowledge that. And yeah, I'm sorry that you had to watch that and I hated watching it too. All of it. I don't even the Instagram and TikTok and everything. I mean, like I just unfollowed the POTUS and the VP handles last night. And by the morning, I was following them again. And this is not a conspiracy. Everyone is talking about it right now as we record. This is have some, a girl said she's blocked VP, J.D. Vance now twice.

And she's still following him. It's sick. What? Everything's being controlled. And I really am trying not to be alarmist. But like I've got to, it's like that's another thing. I got to figure out how to like kind of manage.

And it's so funny to talk about like, I got to figure this out. And it's like it's a struggle. And it's a plan that you have to come up with. You know, how do I consume this and stay informed and be effective and support, you know, my community and I think like finding your community is so important and like again we've said

this before but like the finding the things that bring you joy and like really diving into them full force when you're able to and we will get through this together we will yeah yeah and hopefully it gets better hopefully people fight back you know but we'll be here for you guys making you laugh and doing fun interviews and talking about dating and sex and orgasms and all the things and And I don't know. We'll see. Yeah. I mean, there's a million more things we could say.

Yeah. If you're like, she would have touched on this. Yeah. I'll start a second podcast about it. We could do this for hours, you know, but I don't know. That's all we got for now. Yeah. Okay.

Well, we will talk about our remaining partners and then we will get into it. We do have a great interview. Yeah, we do. I mean. And he is so wonderful. And we're excited to have him back. Yeah. You guys are going to love it.

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to welcome back our guest today. He is an entrepreneur, investor, creator. He is an active investor in a hundred plus private companies. He sounds rich. I'm sorry. Millions of followers across Instagram, Twitter. He is an amazing newsletter, The Curiosity Chronicle, and his new book comes out

on February 4th, the five types of wealth. Please welcome back to the show, Sahel Bloom. Thank you for having me. Cheers. What a thrill. Yeah, cheers with our Aeroon. I joked about it on the way in, but like I got us Aeroon as a reuniting gift. And I wrote a book called The Five Types of Wealth, but I feel like I'm five types of broke after spending that.

$65 for three smoothies. Yeah, you're definitely the guest that loves and hates Aeroon. It's a love-hate relationship. Yeah, it's like you love to hate it. It's toxic. Yeah, totally. You go in, you feel like terrible about yourself while you look around, you wait in line. It's part of the whole experience.

I feel great about myself. You brought me my very first Haley-Beaver smoothie. Do you feel like you're glowing? Do you feel strawberry glazed? It's glowing. That looks so young, you guys. We're just putting money straight into their pockets. I love it.

Yeah, it's good. GGE for no money off at checkout. Anyway, so you're back. You wrote this book. Ashley and I are such fans of it. We just, we love the takeaways. I really haven't heard things framed this way. And if you guys want and go back,

Sala was on the show in May. You listen to that's episode, but you know, talk to us about what's been up since then. You wrote a whole book. I mean, this has been a three-year journey working on this. And the biggest thing is just this idea that you will never feel successful unless you create your own definition of success. And so often in life, I feel we've been handed this default path. And it's what we're told when we're kids.

It's what we're told as we grow up. It's what we're told by all the people around us as we get older that there's this, like, very steady, simple path to live a happy, fulfilling life. And it all surrounds making money. And money is great in some ways. Money isn't nothing. It simply can't be the only thing. And as you chase it more and more and as you just go down this path, accepting those defaults that people have handed you, if you lose sight of everything else, you will find yourself miserable. And that's really what this book is about, identifying what truly matters to you and then going and building your life around it. I love that so much. I think it's more important than ever,

because I think we just see how much greed and emphasis on money there is in the world, and it rules people's lives. And then by default, that, like, affects all of us. And so I think it's so important to talk about this stuff. And you've probably talked about this, and we've talked about this before, of like, there's an amount of money that you make, and then it doesn't increase your happiness anymore. What is the whole thing? Yeah. The research on money and happiness is funny because the first thing that ever came out on it was Daniel Connman many, many years ago had this study that had $70,000 was the number that everyone cited. And it became this famous thing. Like after $70,000, you're no longer more happy.

This is like in the 80s that this study came out. Yeah, yeah. Seriously, like was this in like 1720? Once your income level was 70,000 a year, these small increments don't make you happier. And the number is kind of silly to come up with. a fixed number because you're giving an average across everybody when averages don't make sense, right? Like living in New York City or L.A., it's clearly going to be very different than if I live in Omaha, no offense to anyone in Omaha, but the cost of living is different. And so the research has like slowly shifted. The most recent thing is more like $200,000. But again, that's an average. And so like, it could be 400 for you in New York or in L.A. It could be

200. It could be 100. But the point is, above a certain level, more. money is actually not driving the incremental happiness that you think it is. It's these other areas. Right. And that's why it's like this wealth hoarding. It's like how what is the point? Like I mean, it's just got to be psychological ego, all of that because 200,000 to 400,000, whatever, you want to make a couple million dollars. But there's a point where it's like, what even is this is just so you see a number that defines your worth, I guess? Yeah, it's the thing that you can measure. And like humans are, we're kind of, We're like basically advanced mice.

Like we get patterned into a certain thing, and then we just keep doing it over and over again. And money, because you can measure it so easily, it becomes the thing that you focus on entirely. It's like now everyone wears the health tracking things, and then they get obsessed with it. And you're like, no, I can't go out because I have my aura ring and it's going to screw up my sleep score.

People get obsessed with the thing they can measure. And so because you've typically just been able to measure money, people get obsessed with it. And you get stuck on the track. And then like you wake up in your 50, and your three divorces in and your four kids don't talk to you anymore but you have a big bank account

and you think you won the game but you're like, was this a game that I actually wanted to win? Right. And you acknowledge pretty early on in the book of course that like money is great we all love it and it makes life. It does make life easier. It does solve some problems. It solves a lot of problems and I think all the time

like this thing is really stressful. Okay, well, I'll throw some money at the problem and not everybody can say that. So yes, money does make people happy but you talk a lot about doing this like life inventory of like what do I have in terms of mental health and how do I feel my job and the people that are around me and how can I like take my energy and prioritize it better. So I'd love for you to speak on that more. Yeah, I mean the whole thing is

let's measure for the broader war, if you will, of what we're actually trying to do in our lives. Like if money is one battle, you don't want to win the battle but lose the war. If the war is an actually happy and fulfilling life, you want to measure for that. And we know the things that contribute to that. Like you know in the back of your mind that is really important to build relationships. It's so important to have a purpose, to have a meaning, to grow. It's so important to be healthy. All of these things contribute to a wealthy life, but we've never measured them in the same way we have money.

And so that's really what this is all about. It's building towards that full war rather than just focusing on the one battle. I mean, yeah, why have a giant house if nobody that you love is in it, you know? No one, absolutely no one has ever said that they want to have a private jet alone, right? No one wants to sit on a private jet alone.

No one wants to get a yacht and be on the yacht by them, You need relationships. You need people in your life that actually make having money worth having. So if we're going to decide, we can measure money, but like how do we measure other things? Can we talk a little bit about like measuring the right things and creating an energy calendar for yourself? I love these concepts that you write about. Yeah. So this idea of an energy calendar, I think is just an exercise that everyone should do right now. And basically the idea is when you lean into things that create energy in your life. And that's activities, but also the people that create energy.

energy in your life, good things happen. You end up having better outcomes and you feel better. And when you feel good, you live a better life. So the way that I did this was at the start of a week, like at the end of a Monday, go look at your calendar and color code things according to whether it was energy creating, meaning you felt good during or after it, market green. If it was neutral, market yellow. And if it drained your energy, meaning you actually felt physically drained, market red. If you do that for a week, at the end of a week, you'll have a very clear visual perspective on the types of activities and the types of people that are creating energy versus draining energy from your life. That allows you to make changes over a period of time so that your calendar looks more

green than red. And when that happens, your whole life starts to change. You start eliminating the things that are draining you or the people that you need to kind of lean away from in your life. I love that. So I'm assuming a lot of the stuff in the red is stuff, listen, there's always going to be things in red. There's always going to be red. You're not going to want to do half the, I don't want to take my trash out in the morning. You know, like I... Oh, I know. One time, Ashley, I didn't take the trash.

What happened? Like, I can never live with you. And I'm glad this is going to come up because I have a whole list of living with you this week. I have a whole list of stuff to talk about. We lived together of a whole week last week. It will be on the intro of this. Yes.

So you guys have sprinted, by the way. So on the trash taking out thing, that's like one of my core household duties. It's like, I take out the trash. It's like very like manly. It's my masculine thing. I mean, it feels like it's very masculine. Well, Ashley's taller than me.

Tuesdays and Fridays, trash comes, and I've had several times where I'm, like, working in my office, I see the trash truck coming. I have this panic moment of realizing that I haven't. And I literally like sprint. I'm like, shoeless without a shirt on running out with the trash to make sure I don't miss it. Because I'm like, if I do this, I'm totally derelict of my one duty. Well, what happened was I took the, and I'm fine to take the trash out. But I took the trash out of the trash out of the bag and I put it by the door because Raina said, I'll take it out. And I trusted her.

You left it by the door on the ground? At the top of these steps in a very weird place. Was it leaking and stuff? No, no, no. It smelled bad. So I actually said it smells bad. And she took it out. I ended up taking it out.

It's okay. It's funny that you say that, though, but I remember when I was a kid. It was like a random core memory. And I don't know what happened with the trash. But again, I think my dad took the trash out. But for some reason, maybe my mom was supposed to. And the trash truck was like coming on the street. And it's the first time I ever heard my mom say fuck.

And like, she was like, fuck. And like, as a kid, I was like, the worst thing that's happened in this household just happened. I mean, there are things as a kid that you get convinced of that, like, you will never recover from if it didn't happen, right? Like, I literally was convinced that if I turned the light on in the car at night, we were going to crash and die. Oh, yes, inside the car. Crash and die. I thought if we had shrimp at the house and if I ate more than two, that we were going to have to, like, move into our car. Well, that was, I did this.

One of my very first, like, TikToks that went viral. was like mini bar. Like if you ever went to a place with a mini bar, which was not a lot, you know, but it's just like, if you touch that mini bar, you will bankrupt the family. Like we will just spiral into debt.

I was deeply raised like that. If you touch the bag of chips, like alarms will sound and it will max out our credit cards. And that will never change in you, by the way. Like my wife to this day, well, like, she'll be like,

can I take something from the movie? I'm like, yes, you can take the thing from the movie. She's like, oh, okay, because her dad was exactly like that. Literally like, she literally thought they would be bankrupt. They would never recover from this financially if I touch that thing of cookies that's on the mini bar. That's how you convince kids. Like my parents once in a blue moon would like go out to dinner while I was at the hotel room with my brother.

And like, that's the only way you can convince children to not like open the cookies up on the mini bar is to be like, we will lose our home. Yes. And now I will eat whatever the fuck I want out of the mini bar. And I feel very wealthy about it. That's true wealth. That's freedom. That's my rich life. You get to choose.

That's time wealth. You get to choose how to spend your time, what you spend it on. Yeah, no, that is definitely your, that is your wealth. I dig that. I like that a lot. Question for you guys. So in the book, I bring up this idea of this think day, I call it. Basically, it's the idea that once a month or once a quarter, you pull yourself out from your normal day-to-day professional responsibilities and spend a few hours just thinking and sort of journaling on things, bigger picture questions in your life.

Sounds scary. And the whole idea is like, in your normal life, how often do you actually get to zoom out from the things that you are doing? From like the constant stimulus of people messaging you, emails, all the things that you're constantly having to do. And so the idea is to ask yourself these prompt questions that I have and sort of just think on them to zoom out. And my favorite one, which I've been obsessing over this year, I want to share, which is, if you were the main character in a movie of your life, what would the audience be screaming at you to do right now? We've all been there. You're watching a movie. You're watching a TV show.

And you literally just want to jump through the screen and grab the person and be like, chase her to the airport. Don't go down. Don't go down in the basement. Whatever the thing is. It's behind you. Yeah, it's behind you. You're going to get your head chopped off.

You are that main character in the movie of your life. And there's something blindingly obvious that the audience would be screaming at you right now. So what is it? Stop doom scrolling. It's a real problem. and I'm working on it and it's worse than ever. Instagram or where? Yeah, Instagram, TikTok, just in general, just like the thoughts of the company in,

like staying up till two or three in the morning. But like on a serious note. I think the doom scrolling one's a great one, by the way. I think that my, like, I've never really done this, but if I were to track my like happiness moment by moment throughout the course of a week, I would guess that my lowest moments of happiness are when I'm spending time, like, scrolling on Instagram. I mean, and everything that's happening in the world, I think. I think it's understandable.

But, like, last night was we got her from dinner. I was like, I'm going to be in bed by midnight. Like, I'm just going to, like, watch one episode of All-American and, like, not even get on my phone and then go to bed. And then it just, like, started. And then weird stuff starts happening. Then I'm in this, like, deep, dark hole about, like, why my hair is thinning, like, weird stuff.

And then it was 2.45 a.m. And, like, we had to get up early to come here today. And I was, like, just really angry about myself. So now I'm going to bed. My brain's all lit up from the scrolling. And I'm mad at myself. And I'm upset about. the world. And had I just shut it down three hours ago, I could be in like a restful sleep. And so

it doesn't contribute to your life positively in any way, I find. Not at that hour. Yeah, no, yeah. It's like, it's like my mom used to say this like nothing good happens after midnight. She always used to tell me that before I went to college. My mom like wanted me to get that tattooed on my body so that I didn't do something stupid in college. And I think about that all the time. It's so true. It's like you're just, that is literal doom scrolling when it's post midnight. Yeah. And I thought this last night and I also thought it this morning and I told my fiance and I was just like I just I can't wait to live with him because it's going to stop and Raina said this too she's like you're not going to be in bed next to him while he's sleep while he went to bed at 11 and you're up till two and I'm like

you're right and I'm like he's going to be my emotional support doom scrolling I mean I think that you have a thirst for knowledge and you want to be like a subject matter expert on certain things and that's your route to it so like maybe you pick a different route to it and a different hour of the day I don't struggle with this. It's interesting. Like, I just, no offense. You know me. I get in bed at 10.

I, like, I read five chapters of a book. I fell asleep. Wow. And we're all, like, watch TV. But, like, I know that if, like, I am looking at that phone, I will never go to sleep. I will never fall asleep ever. And, like, I, you can function unless sleep than me. Like, I cannot function on less than that's eight hours.

I'm, like, miserable and nasty. And I can't be bothered than anything. And I can't live my life like that. One of the single best changes I made in my life was leaving my phone in the bathroom when I go to bed so that I don't have it near me in bed. Here's the thing. I'm going to start this back up. In New York, I would leave it in the living room. I made the decision. For years, obviously, this was a problem. I was like, it's going to stay in the living room charging because I felt really safe. I lived in like a dorm man building. Now where I live in this house, I feel a little

safe. I want to have it near me in case of like emergency. But once I, he moves in, then I'm going to go back. He's your protector. He's my protector. His phone can be on his side of the bed. And I'm going to have it in another room. Yeah. No, that's a good idea. I think like the algorithm knows, by the way. Like midnight, it just goes dark on you. You just start getting hit with like the most angry, aggressive shit. Or sleep with a taser next to your bat. That'll be nice. Mace and a taser. Yeah. We're going to get a bat

and wrap it in barbed wire like on Walking Dead. Ooh, I thought that's for sex or for? It's both. It's dual purpose. It's a dual purpose bat. That's good. Yeah. That's good. I don't know much the time. I don't know I don't know if I have an answer right now. So I think I may be... I can give you mine.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I realized midway through last year, maybe in the latter part of last year, that I was not giving a hundred percent effort on a lot of things because I was afraid of what would happen if I did give 100 percent and still failed. I had this like fear of putting myself out there fully on things because I wanted that self-protection in my head of like, oh, I didn't really give it my own on this thing. So when it doesn't work, well, you can just kind of like chalk it up to like, I didn't really go all in on that thing. And I realized that. And I realized that.

it. I had to like stare myself in the mirror on it and recognize that you're never going to achieve the things that you want if you're not willing to fully put yourself out there on that stuff. Totally. I mean, I think that that really plays into anybody who started a social media career or a newsletter or a podcast. I mean, everybody in the beginning looked at my like food social media ideas like, oh, you're going to take pictures to your food. I mean, that's how I was able to quit a job at Amazon, build a social media following. Matt Ashley started this podcast. People didn't know what podcasts were back then either. I mean, they just, my parents were like, how do you make money from that, you know, I think you just got to bet on you sometimes. I'm sure that resonates with a lot of

people. And with my comedy, I've actually always been able to say that because I haven't been able to put all my focus into it. Like decidedly, we have too much else going on. Like, it was like less self-preservation and more just like, that's life. You know, like, we have a podcast takes priority, but like this is the year that it is my top priority. And it's like, yeah, it's, if I fail, if I fail, whatever that means to me, if I don't achieve the things I want to achieve, like it's going to hurt worse because you're like, well, I did. I actually did put my all in it.

There is no excuse of like, well, I didn't really try that out. You know, so I really love that. Especially with the events you guys do. I just think that like you have all these sold out events and these like incredible things that you're putting together, which is really cool. My biggest fear in the world is going and doing an event and you like market it a lot and no one shows up

and you're up there and there's like three people and nod. Like that's like nightmare shit. Yeah, totally. Nobody shows up to your birthday party. But like then like what? But if you start this thing and like five people start listening or watching or engaging with it and then like it just grows. And I still think like I'd rather live a life that I can look back on and say like I tried this thing and failed than like I was never brave enough to try this. Because even stuff I tried and failed, like it's how cheesy.

But like there was a lesson in those things. I still learned something, you know. Regret from inaction is always worse than regret from action. Okay. It's very like when you do things, it's just. it's very rare that you like take the action that you take the leap on the thing and then look back and you're like

I really wish I hadn't tried that thing. It's just it's always the stuff like regrets from the dying like when you go to someone that's on their deathbed they don't regret having done things they always regret having not done the thing. Well Rain and I are pretty good gauges of who we think can like sell tickets

and be a star and we think that you really could. Oh. And I'm sure you don't need to hear that from us but like I really think you have all the parts And I just, the thing that I love about you and what you talk about is it doesn't come across like, so like that motivational speaker. It's because I don't have a British accent. If I had a British accent, like British accent, Australian accent, I would sell way more. I would sell way more.

Oh, you'd sell more. No, like, no, but it would be like, it would have that guru vibe. No, but I'm saying, I'm giving you a compliment. It's just take it. It doesn't sound authentic. It's too preachy. It's just like that tone of like, like, do you even believe this shit? or like you, I don't know.

That's this era of social media that we're in. Well, Ashley calls it word salad. Sometimes I think people just string a lot of words together and it sounds really great because they're these motivational words, but you're like, but how do I do that? And they're like, well, just believe. And you're like, okay, but I've been believing.

And my bank account's not growing. I'm not happier. I'm not like with the man of my dreams. Like, I think some of the stuff that you say, a lot of stuff is like actionable. Yeah. You know. Okay.

I appreciate that. Take the think day and start with that question. Yeah. And like really. Sit with that, I guess. Yeah, I think it'll just inform some tiny action that you need to start on now. So, like, when people talk about changing their life, I do think the whole, like, guru thing is, okay, yeah, like, just think about it.

And now your whole life will change. Realistically, the only way your life is going to change is if you take action. And so the point of the question is that you zoom out enough that you can see what the action is that you need to go take. And usually it's something you've just been ignoring. Like, you know it. It's in the back of your mind, whatever it is. And you going and starting on that.

one thing creates that little bit of momentum that actually might change your life. Yeah. And I think it's like, we talked about this before, but like Rome wasn't built in a day. Like you don't have to totally transform your life overnight. Like I think really tiny, small increments can lead to this really big thing. And I think about that all the time when I started a food Instagram account. Like I was posting something that made me happy that I liked that I was a subject matter expert on, but like no one knew about it. And like little by little it grows. I didn't become like this influencer overnight. I think people are hard on themselves to like try to do that.

I mean, this is the biggest misconception with all of the areas that I talk about in this book, by the way, exactly what you just hit on, which is with money, with financial wealth, you understand that a small investment today compounds and grows over the long period of time. We get that. We know that, like, investing $10 today is better than zero because it's going to grow in whatever you invested it in for a long time. The exact same thing applies to every one of these areas of your life. Your relationships, like doing the little thing today and continuing to just do something

small every day compounds in your relationship. It's much better to send the one text to the friend saying I was thinking about you rather than doing nothing. It's better to have the two-minute conversation with your partner when you had the really busy day rather than just saying, well, you know, I don't have an hour to talk to them, so I'm just not going to. The little things compound the exact same way in your relationships and your purpose and your growth, whatever they are in the same way as they do in your money. Love it. Okay, tell us about the arrival fallacy. Oh, no. No, no, it's good. I mean, it's good, bad, right?

Like, it's, the arrival fallacy is the idea that we all think, we create this pattern in our minds, that one day we're going to wake up and have achieved the thing that we've propped up as the destination. And we're going to feel like we've arrived. Suddenly, we're going to have the, like, happiness and contentment and fulfillment that we've all built up as existing at the top of that summit. And the reality is we get there, we feel this kind of momentary dopamine-induced euphoria. And then you immediately feel this sort of dread of like, what's the next thing that I have to go do? And we have all felt this. It's like you got your first million downloads on the podcast. And you had built up in your mind that, okay, once we hit a million, I'm just going to be chilling.

I'm going to be stress-free. This is great. You get there. And then you're like, well, what about 10 million? Those things had 10 million. Right. The goal post moved. Yeah.

And it's the money is the most classic example of this. And I did this for seven years of my career. It was always like, okay, once I make a million dollars, everything's going to be good. I'm like life is going to be amazing, stress free. I'm going to be happy. And every single time I got to one of those things, I noticed that other areas of my life were starting to suffer because I was getting more and more narrowly focused. That like my relationships had started to fall apart.

My health, I was drinking six, seven nights a week. Like all of these other things in my life were suffering while this new goalpost had been created. And I just thought I was going to wake up one day and feel good. And every single time I got there, felt it for a second, and then was just miserable. again. Yeah. And so fighting back against it, the whole idea is like, we need to find a way to build that feeling of having arrived every single day. And the idea is like thriving as a human being is not an end state. It's a continuous journey. You need to find a way to build that

into how you live on a daily basis, feel like you are actually filling your cup across these different areas on a daily basis rather than attaching your whole happiness and fulfillment as a human to these like arbitrary numbers or end points on the journey. And that's what the five types of wealth is about. Yeah. So like how do we tie our happiness to other things? And I really felt drawn to the social wealth part of it. But can you just talk about what the five parts are and then we can kind of hone in

a couple? Yeah. So the five types of wealth that are covered in the book. Time wealth is all about freedom to choose. How you spend your time. I see people. Who you spend it with. Venice bros.

Venice bros. Venice. Yes. I find a lot of guys in Venice. I have think days, honestly, almost every day. When you were describing that, I was like, that's my life. You do that a lot? That's great.

Well, I just, I don't journal a lot or meditate, but I take really long walks almost every day, and that's my, I have a think day every day. I mean, it shows, by the way. You look great. And, like, people that walk, like, just, like, have, like, a glow about them. It just, like, helps your life. And that's the bar. If you're walking.

Take a walk. I mean, like, literally walking is the number one life hack. And sunscreen. I don't need the sunscreen because I'm brown, I feel like. Oh, okay. I started using sunscreen. Yeah, well, I feel like that's smart in general for most people. But walking is the number one life act. By the way, walking, scientifically proven to improve connection with the person you're walking with the person you're walking with a walk with someone. Like, if you have to have a hard conversation with a colleague or with your partner, do it on a walk because the walking actually increases the feeling of connection and makes the hard conversation easier to have. And it's a little easier because you're side by side. You don't have eye contact. Totally. True. 100%. Yeah. It's like they say it's not the best for like a first. date because you want to kind of feel that connection. But yeah, I love a tough conversation

on my side. Actually, I get really sensitive when people don't make eye contact with me when I'm having like a serious conversation. Not everybody's good at eye contact and I think like arguments are hard for people. And so I won't know. I won't be filled with rage. You're not paying eye contact with me. You're like, sorry, I'm just walking. Yeah. Walking is amazing though. So I love that you have that as a habit. But yeah, time wealth. The other thing with time wealth is just an awareness of time as your most precious asset, especially for young people because the tendency is like you think about time zero your entire life until the very end when it's the only thing you think about and then it's too late you're dead and or the people in your life are gone or

whatever those things are those moments have passed and so recognizing that time especially when you were young you were a time billionaire you are literally rich with time recognizing that before it's too late allows you to operate differently that's what time wealth is about social wealth which we'll talk about more is all about your relationships people in your life that you love Mental wealth is about purpose. It's about growth and it's about creating the space to actually think about these bigger picture questions in your life. Exactly what we talked about with the think day. Physical wealth, all about health and vitality, the actions that you can control to kind of fight against the negative trend that you naturally go through as you age. And then financial wealth, which is about making money. But in particular, it's about understanding what your enough life looks like. Like the idea of what it looks like when you actually have enough and not attaching that to enough.

as much as what the actual lifestyle looks like. And the reason I think that's important is because the number means nothing. Like I, when I was younger, I was like, oh, if I could just have, you know, five million dollars, everything would be good. But I didn't know what that actually meant. Like what does it mean, what does my life look like with five million dollars? I had no clue. I didn't know what that meant. And so it's much better to create a vision of the life that you want to live.

Like, do you have two houses? Do you have a vacation home? How many vacations are you doing a year? Where are you? Where are you spending time? Do you have kids, like create a true picture of it? Because then it's much harder for that to just like magically disappear and grow into the horizon.

The number will do that very, very easily. I love that. I posed a question to myself. I think I told you. Like, if you told me right now, you'll, you'll just make the amount you're making now for ever or for whatever the next however many years. Like it'll just be steady until you're, yeah, it'll be steady. Like it won't drop.

It won't go up anymore. Like I was like, ah, I think I'd take that deal. And like, then I was like, I don't know. I could do so much more. Like, what if I, you know, get all this money from a special or a book or something? And I was like, I still think I'm just good. But it wasn't the money that was exciting to you about that. It was the fact that you were getting to do the thing that you love.

That I could go do the special, that you could go build the thing. Yeah, but it's enough. Yeah. Our industry, I mean, who knows? You know, it can be a little uncertain. So. But then we were like in La Jolla and I was like, well, I want this $20 million house. That's the life I actually would live.

And I was like, I can't afford it. And that was a tough pill to swallow. fine and like my dad introduced this concept of enough to me because like he makes plenty of money. He drives this like little Subaru I think it's so ugly and I was like why do you get a nicer car? And he was like because what I have is enough and like

he has a fine condo apartment. It's enough for him. He has a fine car. He has his dog. He's been married enough times and he knows people who will marry him. He has two kids that are healthy and thriving. He's a grandson, you know. He's just like He's living a wealthy life. I've taken an inventory and it's enough. Yeah. That's amazing. Have you heard the story? I've heard the story of the fisherman and the investment banker?

It's exactly this. I have to tell it to because it's very good. So an investment banker goes down to this Mexican fishing village. And he's walking along the dock and he comes across this old fishing boat with this fisherman who's caught a few fish. And he asks him, how long did it take you to catch those fish? And the fisherman says, only a little while. And the banker looks at him and is like, why didn't you fish for longer?

The fisherman says, well, I have everything I need. I fish for a little while in the morning. Then I go home. I have lunch with my wife. I take a nap and then in the evening I drink wine, play music and laugh with my friends. And the banker's like, you got this all wrong. You got to fish for longer so you can catch more fish. Then you can use that money to buy another boat.

Then they fish. Then all of a sudden, you can buy more boats and you have this whole enterprise. You can move to the big city. You can take the company public and you'll make millions of dollars. And the fisherman looks at him and is like, and then what? And the banker says, well, then you can retire to a small fishing town and you can fish for a little while in the morning. and you can go home and have lunch with your wife, and then you can go into town and drink wine

and play music and laugh with your friends. And the fisherman just looks at him and smiles and walks away. And it's that exact story of like, why am I chasing more if I already have my version of my enough life? I love that so much. I love it. And I think it's a nice feeling. I think we value, and I value it too.

Being a hustler, I subscribe to hustler mentality and wanting more money and being more successful and doing more. And I think, Ashley, and I contribute a lot to the world through what we do. And I like that. But there is something nice about just saying, like, I have everything I need right now. And I thought about that a lot with, like, our resolutions for the year. And, like, when I was joking, that my only resolution was to just, like, enjoy my shit this year. I loved that, by the way.

Thank you. That was one of my favorite clips. Thank you. But I thought about that. Like, why don't we ever really just value, like, where I'm standing right now in this body, with this bank account, with this job, with these relationships? Why isn't that enough? Well, you're told that because you constantly looking around. It's like looking at the house in La Jolla, right? And the one thing that I think about all the time is there's nothing wrong with chasing more if it's grounded in one of these other things.

So if you are chasing more because it's your purpose, because you're saying, like, I want to go create things that impact other people in the world. You want to grow your show. You want to do the special because you want to entertain people and create these positive ripples in the world. That's an amazing pursuit of more. The pursuit of more money, as a soul, as the end in and of itself, is a miserable one. That will lead you off a cliff. Yes. And I mean, I think I had this kind of epiphany. Maybe I was in my 20s and I was so broke. And I was like, I just still feel really lucky.

I feel so lucky for the family that I was just lucky enough to be born into. Not everybody has a family like I do. And I feel so lucky and grateful for that every day. And my friends and my health. And it's just like not everybody has these things. I mean, and then you sometimes have to put that into perspective. I'm not looking at the people in the, you know, $50 million house and being like, well, they're probably miserable. But, like, you sometimes do just have to think, like, I have really great things that don't have a price tag on them.

Yeah, and, like, you wouldn't trade a lot of the things that you have for that. Well, I think about that $50 million house, and I think what is the tradeoff to having that? What is the trade off to be married to somebody who has that? Like, you want a man that makes the $50 million a year? salary, like there are tradeoffs to being with a person like that. Yeah, I mean, that exact realization I came to when I was reading, like, I used to obsess over reading all these books about, like, famous business people and historical figures. And I realized one day, I wouldn't trade lives with the people that I was reading these books about. So, like,

we all celebrate and applaud these success stories, but if I don't want to trade lives with the person, should I really be celebrating that? Oh, go off, King. Yeah. I mean, I met one of my idols. And I mean, it was a bad experience and the people listening know. But one of my main things was like I felt like coming off of it. I was like she seems pretty sad. Yeah. Like at someone I looked up to my whole life and I was like she seems miserable. And that was like the hardest part, not necessarily like how we were treated or how we were treated later by her, whatever.

We don't need to get into it. But it was just like that was the hardest part. It was like I don't want her life. The way that I've always thought about this is there's like a list price for success, which is like the, the hard work that goes into it, all of the hours that you have to put in, all these things that you have to achieve. And then there's the real price, which is all of the sacrifices that get made along the way. And there are a lot of things in life that look like a good deal based on the list price, but there are a rip-off when you think about the real price.

Right. You got a lemon. Yeah. And you want to know going into the thing, what is the real price that I have to pay for this thing that I think I want? Like, if I think that I want to build a billion-dollar business, but then I think about it, and I'm like, okay, that's going to require me to be away from my family, 300 nights out of the year. I'm going to lose a bunch of my health because I'm going to have to be working nonstop. I'm going to be stressed all the time. I'm not willing to do that. I just don't want that. I don't want that thing. And so I actually think it's good that there are some people that do want that because they build cool companies that we benefit from and sometimes. But like, I don't want that. And I don't feel the need to be pressured by society into thinking that I should want that. Yes. We were just talking about this. We had a situation with this investment that fell apart at the last minute. And it was so much money. And we feel grateful every day. It didn't work. out. And I was like, I think I would be bald. I wouldn't have any hair left. I wouldn't be engaged. I would, I wouldn't be with that. Like, I just was like, our lives would have looked so different and like, thank fucking God. And so many people would have been like, I will do whatever it takes to get that money. Again, like, it wasn't necessarily our decision. But we just still kind of, you're saying something that a lot of people can't comprehend, which would be turning down a big chunk of money. That's like beyond, people are like, oh, I'll do whatever it takes. We think about it all the time, like, what our lives would look like day to day. And it's just, it's not worth it, man. doesn't make sense to other people. Everyone tells you to never leave money on the table, but no one thinks twice about leaving their peace of mind on the table. We've gone off.

We've left so much money on the table. So much money. We've had these conversations. I'm so glad she's my business partner because yes, there's so many things we could have made more. And we're like, but what's the price? Like, what's the sacrifice we have to make? People think that money buys you freedom, but that's not true. Money when well used may contribute to freedom. But if you're already free and then you take a bunch of money that's actually going to make you more of a slave to some guy in a corporate boardroom that gave you the money. They would have owned us. Yeah, totally. Right?

It's like every dollar that nothing is free in life. Over and over again, I feel like I've learned this rule that like someone wants to give you free stuff and you're like, oh, this is great. And then they hit you up and they're like, hey, do posts on this. You're like, that's not free. Right. So you need to remember that going in. Like all of this stuff comes with some sort of cost or tradeoff. And if you're already living your free life and a life where you're, You feel like you're getting to engage in these different things that you enjoy. Why? But let me invest.

Let me invest. I don't want no money. Let's talk. Yeah. A little less than that was. So what I graduated towards the most in the book was social wealth. And I think if you look at societies and you've watched documentaries about the happiest societies in the world, there are societies that place family, children, friendship above everything.

And we talked a lot with Scott Galloway about the loneliness epidemic. You also write about it in the book. but when I think about the thing that makes me feel the richest, it's just I've cultivated such special communities of people around me and I feel so lucky and there's no price tag on it. And I just, at the end of the day, when I think, like, what makes me happy? Like, yesterday was, like, a stressful day. It was the inauguration.

And we went out to dinner with, like, our girlfriends. And, like, I got to end my day peacefully. And that was really important to me. Yeah, like, I sat down at that dinner and, like, I came to life, you know? Like, I don't know. And, like, I was telling you guys about this volunteer thing. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm like talking with like exuberance and like happiness and like making people laugh.

And it's just like, oh, my God, all day I'd been in, you know, like a deep, dark hole. And so those moments, they should click for you. Yeah. You know, that it's just like these are the things that fill your cup. And it is that mindset shift. And you're both examples of doing this really well, which is you're investing in your relationships. Most people don't think to do that. So it's the first thing that falls.

When you're busy, you're like, okay, I don't have to. time to, you know, go out for the coffee date with my friend. So I'm not even going to text them. I'm not going to call them. I'm not going to talk to my mom for an hour. So I'm not going to send the text telling her I was thinking about her. And that mindset of like allowing the optimal version to get in the way of the beneficial is really negative. Anything above zero compounds positively in relationships. So taking the time when you think about someone, just send them a text and let them know you were thinking about them. That contributes massively to having those relationships later in life. And the problem is like, life is filled with these laters. You say, I'll spend more time with

my kids later. I'll spend more time with my friends later. I'll, you know, be more focused on my relationship with my partner, my friends later. And the sad thing is that later just becomes another word for never because those things aren't going to exist in the same way later. Like, your kids are not going to be five years old later. Your partner won't be there for you later. If you're not there for them now, your friends won't be there. And so you either invest in those things now or you're just going to regret it later. Totally. Well, let's talk about taking an inventory of that and you write about like a social wealth quiz and a relationship map. Yeah, the relationship map is this idea of taking a look at the relationships that are in your life today. Sort of your like

core people that you're interacting with regularly or just kind of in your circles and actually creating this map of the frequency of the interaction and then the health of the interaction with the person. And what it does is it gives you a pretty clear. perspective in your current world on the relationships that you should be leaning into more versus leaning away from probably. And the thing that's interesting about the science around relationships is that we sort of know that we need to lean away from toxic relationships, the people that are just demeaning. But what we don't realize is that ambivalent relationships, ones that are sometimes demeaning and sometimes supportive, are actually the most unhealthy for your life.

And it kind of makes sense if you think about it because those are the relationships where you open up, Like if a person is sometimes loving, you allow them to get close to you. So then when they stab you, it actually hits and it hurts. The toxic relationship, you have a guard up. You know like that one relative at Thanksgiving. You're like, I'm not interacting or engaging with this person. We all have that person, right? We're like, we're not opening to them.

But the science on this is crazy. I mean, they do this study where they had people give a talk in front of a group of audience members. And the actual physical impact of an audience member who is sometimes, supportive and then sometimes like booing you is worse like your blood pressure spikes more your stress level spike more from that than if someone was just booing you the entire time totally yeah it's crazy i mean it's really interesting and to understanding who those ambivalent relationships are in your life who are those people that do like come with love make you open up and then hit you with the bad stuff i mean those people are really frightening to me because like those people you say like i never know

what i'm going to get i don't know like who's showing up to dinner with me but like i've shared all my secrets with you and now you got me. You know, it's really like a friend, so anyway. So you make this map. Yeah, and making the map, then, you know, then you can look at it and you can say like, okay, my highly supportive and frequent relationships. These are my closest people. Like, we obviously

know we need to invest in these relationships daily. We need to do these things. But you're going to find some people where they're really supportive and you're just not spending enough time with them. You're not interacting with them enough. Those are relationships you should lean into. That will improve your life. It'll create energy in your life. As you said, sitting down at the dinner, like, it's

life-giving when you're around those people. And so leaning into those and leaning away from the ones that are more ambivalent or toxic but still frequent is kind of a good way of just like over the course of a month or two, feeling a real benefit in your social wealth. Yeah, and we talk a lot about how friendships have and flow and, you know, this misconception that like you have to stay friends with the longtime friends. And then, you know, maybe you had a friend that was kind of more in that casual medium friend box. You can become really close with them later down the road. I mean, I think I've seen that in the last few years really happened for me, where a friend who was just kind of more of a social friend has become like a really close friend. And then, you know,

maybe I've not as close with people who, you know, for various reasons that I just didn't, I didn't never foresaw that happening because we were such a long time friends. And, you know, I just think it's important to remember, like, friends don't have to stay in that box forever, like, both ways to your own detriment and you can, like, improve a friendship that you thought never would get to that point. I had this with my sister. My sister and I had a very tense competitive relationship for a long time. She's three and a half years older than me. And she was always very high achieving academically.

And I kind of grew to resent that in our early years. And then she resented the fact that she felt like my parents were easy on me and didn't push me the same way. And it led to basically by the time I was 30, we had effectively no relationship. And that's really sad with a sibling because your sibling is the only person who truly sees, you from day one through your entire life. You were really with them. And the most beautiful thing happened in our relationship after my son was born. My sister had had a son, her first 11 months before, and I'll never forget this. We were at my house. We'd just gotten home from the hospital with our son, and all of our family came down to welcome us home. And we took this picture, and I'm holding my

son, and my sister is holding hers. And it was just the two of us. And I looked over I looked over at my sister and it was like for the first time in my life that I could see her. Like I really understood who she was. And... Stop, we're too emotionally for you to start it. It was really amazing

because it was a reminder that sometimes relationships blossom in a season of life for some reason that you never would have expected. And the conversations that followed that, both of us opening up and being vulnerable about our own shared experiences along the journey, it's led to this incredible deep relationship that the two of us have now. And like there's that reminder, and I write this in the book, that you will have a deep loving relationship with someone that you haven't even met yet if you open up to it. I really love to hear that. I know you're not

no, no, it's, thank you for sharing. You don't often hear people be so vulnerable about siblings, because that's your family, and it's hard to talk about it publicly. And my brother and I have ebbed and flowed in our relationship. And it's just, it's really nice to get to a place where you really, really see each other and understand because, like, who do you want understanding from more than the person who has seen every phase of your life? Yeah. And I'm just sure that's going to resonate with a lot of people.

And we'll give them hope if they are people who have a, like, bad relationship with a sibling. Like, it's never too late. So. Yeah. Yeah. And it requires that opening up. I mean, both of you are naturally why. this way. I think that's why you probably have experienced during your life that you feel connected

to people that are around you because that vulnerability is what creates feelings of connection. It's like the shared struggle releases oxytocin in our bodies. It creates feelings of love and connection. And if you're not willing to open up in that way, then you never have that depth of connection. And so that willingness to just sort of sit in the mud with people and be there during those moments is such a beautiful thing if you can be that way. Yeah. I know we talked with you last time about this sitting in the mud. People loved it. They really went crazy for that clip. Can we talk about a life dinner? Oh, yes. Well, this is especially relevant for you now with getting married. So the idea of a life dinner is to create a monthly ritual that is effectively

a relationship check-in where on a monthly basis, you have a fixed date where you get together with your partner and you sit down and each of you has an opportunity to talk about some of the bigger picture things in your life and in your relationship. Some of the things that have been challenging, some of the things you're excited about, some of your personal goals, some of your relationship goals. And each of you has a chance to do that. And then you have a discussion together around it. And it's one of these funny things where the pushback to it that you hear is, oh, you should just be doing that every single day. And that's not how life works. I hate to bring it to you. If you think it is. And if you do have that every single day, I'm really happy for you, especially if I mean,

and if you have a kid and you're able to actually touch base like that, truly. I mean, how many people are like, I want to do this once a month, you know? But it's really fun because you turn it into a fun thing. Like, pick your favorite place to go to dinner, sit down, have an actual conversation about the things that you're trying to grow together around as a relationship. And for my wife and I, post our son being born, it was an amazing practice because all of a sudden, like, you don't. don't do that on an ongoing basis. You have this thing, literally a thing that is in your life that draws both of your focus and attention

and you forget about each other along that journey sometimes. It's the reason, by the way, that I think 80% of married couples say that their relationship got worse in the year after having a child, which is a crazy stat, but it's true. It's not surprised at all. It's really difficult to raise a chance. And so the life dinner is a really cool way

to just create like a monthly or quarterly practice around just making sure that you do touch-based on these things that are working or not working that you need to work on. Yeah, I love that. And I think people probably get scared also of like what's going to come up. You know, like, what are they going to say about me? You know, it obviously doesn't have to be that. You know, I'm sure people who do this have been like, it was great.

We just talked about how well things are going. There's not always a problem. I think people, this isn't like a let's air our grievances dinner. But I mean, I think it goes without saying like if I had something on my mind, I'm not waiting until the dinner, especially if we have like three weeks left. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't need to wait to air those things out. for sure, as you said.

But I agree. It's like, that's the whole principle. I mean, in the book, at the end of each section, there is a guide for actually building that type of wealth into your life. And all of it is about the tiny actions you can take starting right now to go and build that thing because it can't be the type of thing where you like another book you read and then you do nothing. And you're like, oh, yeah, you feel the dopamine from the information.

Dopamine from information gathering is a dangerous drug. You're like, oh, I gathered all this information. So like, look at me. Like, I read Atomic Habits, and so now I'm good at habits. You're like, no, that's not how it works. You have to go take action. You've got to go do the thing. And so I tried to structure the whole book to actually help with that

so that you could actually go and take these tiny actions along the way. Yeah, I think little things are good. So while we're touching on romantic relationships, in the book, you do this thing, 500 years of romantic relationship wisdom. It's on page 172. If you guys have the book, you want to look it up. And you gather wisdom from couples who've been married from 40-plus years. And you also cite the Gottman.

and some great people in this book as well. But can we talk a little bit about what was the most interesting, informative, helpful things that you learn. And then people should buy the book and read it. Yeah. I loved the exercise of going and talking to these couples that have been married for 40 or 50 years. I've been very lucky in my own life that my and my wife's relationship role models, these people that have been close to us, are people that have been married and happily married for a long, long time.

And my parents have been married 42 years now. their marriage made absolutely no sense. My dad's father disowned him for wanting to marry my mom. And I've gotten to see what a loving, caring relationship looks like. And so talking to people that have experienced a lot more time and have kind of gone through the ups and downs of a whole life was really informative. I thought some of the most interesting pieces. One was no one has ever argued their way to a happy marriage.

When facing a challenge, face it together. I think this is another great one. you cannot take care of your partner if you aren't taking care of yourself. Make a list of your daily needs to feel good and have your partner do the same. Make sure you and your partner are able to do the things on that list. And then actually my personal favorite, never involve non-professional third parties, parents, friends, siblings, coworkers in disagreements.

You'll forget about it, but they won't. Oh. That's so true, by the way. like when you tell someone about some grievance in your relationship, that person never forgets it. Like, you will have gotten over it. You worked on it. You got through it. And like if you told your mom about something with your partner, she never, it's the only thing on her mind.

I know. I mean, you have to find the line. Yeah. You've got to air it out. But I think there's some things that you have to think the key phrase there is they will never forget. Yes. So when you're telling them something, just that's all you need to know. Just remember.

They will never forget. That's a good point. I think there's things that like I would withhold and it's like if you've got to get it out, that's why you pay people to listen to you. That's why you go to therapy. And I think it's important to have a person you can talk to me. Of course, Ashley talks me about our relationship. But I think that another thing that's really important is to remember to like layer in good things about that person also.

Like if Ashley talks to me about our partner, I come out with kindness because I like him because he's kind because I know the nice things he's done for her. And for me, you know, I'm not like, well, fuck him already. Yeah. He's never done anything. Yeah. He does just seem like a sweet guy. I've never gone to Raina where she ever would have said fuck him. Yeah.

I'm not trying to brag on it, but I just want to clear that up. It just seems like a sweet guy. We don't have any. Yeah. I also, I'm just pro-Brown guys out there in the world living it. Like, what can Brown do for you? UPS? Let's go do it.

But yes, I like that notion of just remember the people will remember that stuff. I don't want to give the message. You shouldn't have people in your life. No, I agree with that. And I like your take that it needs to be, like it needs to be layered. You need to share the good, too. But you also have to think about the audience. Like, I really just, I think.

about my mom and no one is kinder, less judgmental. I could just tell her most things. I guess, I don't know, cheating and a marriage. She would be hard for her to get past, but I think I can tell her most things, and she still would, like, have forgiveness and acceptance. And not everybody would feel like that. My dad wouldn't. And I dealt with this with an ex, like, where it was just like, my parents knew too much. And my dad was like, he can't come to Christmas, you know? And my mom had to try to talk to him. It's just like, I think it's a know your audience type of thing. too. And like, you know those friends you have that you would tell them something that's going on your relationship. And then they would come to you the next time you saw them, how's it going?

Everything okay. And you're like, oh, we're fine. That was the thing. They're like, because it seemed like things were bad. You know, like that you know that friend. It's so annoying. Raina's not that friend to me. Raina's just like, yeah, relationships out and flow, everything's fine. Like, you know, we all know, I think the audience is important. So, I love that. Well, this book is great. And congratulations. Thank you. And I really. recommend it so does Ashley. And it's, it's actionable items to just feel, feel like you're adding something of value to your life, not just money. I think this was such an important conversation and the timing of it couldn't be better. And it's just, I think it hopefully makes a lot of people

think, take inventory of their life and get the book. Yeah. So as of today, you can pre-order it. It comes out on February 4th. Tell everybody where to find you, the website, your Instagram. Your tour. Yeah, you can find the book anywhere books are sold. more information at the five types of wealth.com, and you can find me at Sawhill Bloom anywhere. Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

And you guys can find us at girls got to eat.com. We are a girls got to eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess. Raina is rana. combeck, YouTube. That's the platform we're really supporting as of late. Still, you can still trust YouTube as far as I know. So watch on YouTube, subscribe on YouTube,

and we will see you next week. Have a good week, guys.