Girls Gotta Eat - My Nudes, My Rack, My Pussy and My Crack

Episode Date: March 16, 2020

Yes we went there: An entire episode about all the weird/gross/embarrassing/bodily-related sex topics the ladies really want to know about. We're going deep on queefing, period sex, body hair, anal concerns, vagina smells, and more. We're also sharing our listeners' most mortifying and hilarious sexual incidents. Plus, we catch up on Rayna's quarantine buddy and Ashley's Mexican paradise trip, and give a tutorial on nudes. Hope you enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Zola: Get 50% off your save-the-date's at zola.com/gge with promo code SAVE50. Daily Harvest: Get $25 off your first box at dailyharvest.com with code GGE. LegacyBox: Go to legacybox.com/gge and save 40% today. Ritual: Get 10% off your first 3 months at ritual.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're lucky. You're down there. Tell that to yourself in the mirror. Affirmations. Look your vagina in the mirror. Eat a slice of pineapple. Tell yourself that your pussy's great. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat.

Welcome to the coronavirus edition of Girls Got to Eat. I'm kidding. Stay safe. Stay responsible. I already cried twice today. And I'm fine now. I have more cans of food in my kitchen than I. Don't come to my house.

You're a prepper. I'm a survivalist now. I got my shit delivered on Monday. But Ashley and I are back in New York City. We're back. She's back. I've been back for a week. You just got back.

So we'll update you guys on our trips. First and foremost, you guys have emailed us, message us about coronavirus and our tours. We want to give you guys just a quick update as we're getting updates. And we'll obviously tell you guys what's going on. So Perlive Nation, we've been instructed to move our Texas tour. So that's what we're doing for the end of March. Yeah.

So Texas is moved, postponed. They're not canceled. We will have new dates as soon as humanly possible. This is not exactly our choice, but we do understand it is most likely for the best at this point for the safety. If you guys, for the performers, for the openers, we weren't going to be able to do what we really wanted to do. You guys are obviously going to get a much better show later in the year. So that's just what it is. Your tickets will apply, most likely.

So you will have a ticket for whenever the next show is. We can't, I don't want to say any time. It's going to be as soon as possible. And we will announce on the podcast, on Instagram, on Facebook, everywhere you communicate with us, the new dates will be announced. No other changes. Yep. At this moment, Philly's still a go.

Florida is still a go. Everything is still a go. This is just March, Texas, Dallas, Houston, Austin. And it sucks. You know, we're just trying to do the right thing. Yep. And as soon as, as we know more about April, we'll let you know. but until we are told to move these dates, absolutely.

We'll be there. We'll be with you guys. And we're working on new dates. And so hopefully we'll be there as soon as possible. And in the meantime, guys, just stay safe. Wash your hands. You know, maybe find somebody in your building to have sex with in case you're quarantined.

I have already. And, you know, buy some canned food. Stay safe out there, guys. Yeah, I can talk about your daily harvest and your Hello Fresh and your legacy box and your local take your ritual vitamins. Yeah. Also, I love how everybody's calling it by its Christian name now. It's like COVID-19.

Like, the early days. we're coronavirus and then everyone started getting technical with this shit. It's like that meme it says like now because people are trying to get work canceled. Yeah. I mean, they don't need to try. Work has been canceled. Work school. Everything.

All right. So we're back. A little update. I did not go to Bali. I've been hyping this Bali trip for so long. I was so excited to go. Really, we were away for two and a half weeks and I like couldn't sleep the night before I had to go. And I just felt like I don't want to take another trip.

I didn't want to be alone for five days. I just didn't feel like touring around and doing all this stuff. I just couldn't get it up for it. I was exhausted. I was ready to come back to New York because this corona stuff had started happening. I also just didn't want to be in a million airports and planes outside of the country. And so everybody was, I mean, I didn't cancel a trip and just get no money back. I canceled the trip.

I got my money back and I bought a one-way home. So I came home and I'm happy that I did it. And Bali will be there when I decided to go back. and I'm excited to reschedule it, but I was happy to come home. Yeah, I mean, I knew you were going to. Ashley has been dying to say I told you so. You guys, you know I love being right.

It is my love language. I knew Raina wasn't going to go to Bali. The second she booked the trip, I told Merrill earlier in the trip, I said, Rain is not going to Bali. Merrill said what? I said, I know her better than she knows herself. She's not going.

Sure enough, I waited and when you cancel that trip, I just, you know I love to be right. I live for it. I was new you weren't going to want to go. Listen, I But sometimes I went. I told you I thought that Texas was going to get canceled. Do you think so?

Three hours later, Tom Hanks got diagnosed with the coronavirus, and everything got canceled. Tom Hanks, we shared his same birthday. America sweetheart. No, I mean, I do think you weren't going to go regardless, but it was the right choice given the circumstances. I, like you weren't going to go to Indonesia. That wasn't going to be your best bet.

You originally had to fly through South Korea. It would have taken me 10 hours to go from New Zealand to Bali. It would have taken me like 27. to come back. I would have had to stop in Korea. I had to reroute all that. And it just, it really felt like I didn't want to be outside of the country and away from home and traveling for 27 hours. This would have been three days ago. So yeah, I didn't know, no, no, no. Yeah. Well, I, Mexico was a go. No one gives a fuck about this in Mexico. Mexico's like, you drink one sip of the water here. You have the coronavirus. You know, like, we don't give a fuck.

Got it there. I actually don't even think it's that many cases there. In, in comparison to really anywhere else, probably even the U.S. I don't know. Don't quote me on that. but I went to Mexico for like probably one of the greatest trips I've ever taken in my life. My one of my girlfriends, it was her birthday. She, she rented this house for us. It was a four-story mansion overlooking the ocean in Cabo, 14 girls, you know, but it was a full staff like chefs, maids, bartenders, open bar at all times. Like it was the most epic trip I've ever taken in the most gorgeous house I've ever seen in my life. four levels. Marilyn and I had this

sweet with like the best view. Like it was, we just partied, but we had like breakfast, lunch, dinner, cooked for us in-house. Like, all the drinks we could want. We went out when I went to Squid Row and Cabo, which is just like the most fun place. And it was like, I cannot recommend

it enough. And he was expensive. I mean, she paid for the house. We all pitched in for like the food and drinks and all that kind of stuff. But like even broken down, it wasn't like that extravagant. Like, that's how I want to travel. Like, I love a big group of girls. It was like a sorority house at all times. Everyone had their own space and like meals around the clock. You don't have to coordinate a girl's dinner. Fourteen girls going to dinner is a fucking nightmare.

Like we stayed at the house. We party when we went out one night. We lay by the pool. We got tan. Like it was incredible. I'm happy for you. Why are you looking at me like that? I was just thinking about the trip and I was like I came back to New York. It was pouring down rain. Everything spelled like pee. I went back to my apartment. It was. Yeah. It was different. It was different vibe. Why are you looking me like that because my life was different. But I can't recommend it enough. Like, if you, if you want to look it, look it up, it's called Mantea, Maison Villas. I think that's their website. Like, anyone can stay there. I mean, it's a lot of celebrities stay there. We know some.

We're not allowed to say. We're not supposed to know in the first place. It's very, like, very famous people, athletes stay there. So, um, can't recommend that enough. Like, you know, you get to a point in your life. You're an adult. I mean, you know, it was her 40th birthday. That's what she wanted to do. I'm like, live your truth. That's, people spend that on a wedding. On a wedding more. She's not married. So go ahead. That's what I'm saying.

I was like, how much more would we all want to do this than go to a wedding? I would. I mean, I love the idea of a girl's trip over a wedding. Yeah. In like a mansion. In Cabo. Yeah, I'll do that any day. Also, Camero.

What a place. I always knew about it from Kristen Cavalieri, but that place is lit. What is it? No rules. A manager at the place, grab my ass. I didn't care. An employee of the venue. Like a manager.

Sexually assaulted you and you were like, oh, It's just like this, you know, Mexican man that works there better than some, like, white frack guy. I was like, I'm here for it. If that's how you guys roll here, he didn't finger me. You just smacked my ass as I was going up the stairs. But it would have been nice. But I would have taken girls all week.

Like, if somebody slipped a finger inside of you, somebody's going to come for me for this. Someone's going to be mad. I'm not condoning it. But I was going up the stairs. This guy was behind me. He tapped me on the ass a little bit. And I was like, I don't care. Like, that place is crazy.

So there's like girls running around doing jealous shots and stuff. They'll come up to you. they'll put a jello shot in your mouth. These are women that work there. You know, it's a little different. Girl on girl. People are going to be upset by this. I don't fucking care.

It's Mexico. They'll put a jello shot in your mouth. Then they'll grab your head, put your head in their titties, your motorboating them. They smack you on the ass, grab you by the tits, send you on your way.

While you got a mouthful of jello. You like got some action. I like to do the jellish shots, but it's just like one of those places, it's just no rules. It's fucking nuts. Well, you don't go to a place. place like this, if you're afraid of being touched.

I usually offended. I didn't take, I didn't go to spring break in Cabo because I was like so demure. I went because I wanted to be a filthy whore. You get it. I feel seen. I was 19 and I was ready to drink purple drinks and have sex with strangers. Sorry, Dad. Like when that guy like tapped my ass, I like, like, I like face got red, like a weird feeling washed over me and I felt pissed. Horny. No, I felt like pissed, like violated. And then I was like, Squidrow. Squid bro, man, and then you just like, just dabbed and kept walking. I just dapped.

Yeah, I gave my hand jaw. We went to move out our night. Say hand sanitizer. With hand sanitizer. Do you think people are giving hand sanitizer? I don't know, but I spit after I gave a blowjob the other day, and that is what I'm doing for myself and society. Good for you.

Thank you. I don't know that. You think it's more sanitary than swallowing it? Sure. It's in your mouth. If there's corona in there, you got it. Listen, just let me feel like I did the best thing for my body.

Guys, speaking of that, we have a full episode dedicated to the most graphic, embarrassing, gross. But normal, sex stuff. You can imagine this full, like, we're talking bodily fluids. Listen, poop and smells and butt stuff. Yeah, dicks, vagina is the whole thing. Everything. Toilet paper in your vagina. Yeah.

We didn't put that on the outline, but I want to not forget. I thought it was on there. I mean, you're not going to forget about it. You probably have some in your vagina right now. So do you want to look? There's a man in this room that I've had sex with. We'll talk about it later. No, you cannot leave people hanging like that.

Jeremy's here. Jeremy's here. Listen, we had sex a really long time ago. Jeremy's Chicago boys. Do you want to... Sorry, he's yelling at me at brunch boys. He wants to fucking his handle. He wants you to throw out his Instagram handle.

Swipe up. You guys, swipe up. Listen, guys, we had sex like four and a half years ago. 10 out of 10, cannot recommend it enough. Yeah. I know for a fact that that's the truth. You're not just saying that because he's in the room. No, I didn't, I didn't mind having sex.

Did you like having sex with me? Jeremy, you can talk. Yeah. I don't want to interrupt your podcast. No, did you like having sex with me? Yeah. Thank you. He said yes.

One of his only repeat customers, right? Yeah, you don't have a lot of repeat customers. That is a great endorsement. Thank you for bringing that up. Jeremy generally just finds somebody at a bar, sleeves with them and never talks to them again. But he came back for repeat sessions with me. This is not a good endorsement for him at this point.

It's a great endorsement for me. For you? My blow jobs are excellent. Yeah. Did you swallow that? You swallowed Jeremy's calm? I don't think so. I think that all the...

He's just in the corner. I think that all the crying during sex really made me not one of it. He was crying. No, Arena. Oh my God. Do we just... Guys, we got a lot going out. Jeremy's filming.

That's why he's here. He's not just sitting in the corner masturbating. He's just like cucking the podcast. Poor Dewey. I'm sorry. Oh my gosh. You're so calm and pleasantly just sitting in the corner. You're wonderful.

Oh, my gosh. You guys know which guest I had sex with? I want to, since I just talked about not caring that men have been groping me, I do want to do a little women's empowerment PSA. Oh, that's good. This is a perfect segue into this. Yeah. I exclusively on my long flights to Sydney and New Zealand to L.A., watched only women's

empowerment films. So I watched on the basis of sex on the way to Sydney, Ruth, Ruth Bader Ginsburg's story. Was it good? Oh, I loved it. I loved it so much. It focuses basically on just how they were able to kind of like change the law for like equal rights between men and women. Like it's, I didn't know, but I didn't know her about her husband. I didn't know too much about her, you know, story back then,

which is incredible. She was like a wife and a mother and she was in Harvard law school and then her husband got cancer and she was taking his classes for him. It's fucking nuts. And then they kind of like work together to like change this law. And then on the way back, I watched bombshell. Oh, is that the first time you've seen it? Yeah. We've been talked about it. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. Okay, did you like it? Oh, I loved it. I cried. I cried. I cry a lot. Whatever. And then this documentary called This Changes Everything. I told you watched it. I don't know. Netflix, who you guys will find out. It's called This Changes Everything. Don't damn us.

But just about women, not being enough women in Hollywood in terms of directors. Not so much actors, but also that. But like, the production side, how it was so male dominated and how these women like banded together to change it. And it's really amazing. I loved it. I can't recommend it enough. Like all these films just remind you like how far we have come and like not to stop.

You know, like I think the Fox stuff from bombshell was not that long ago. Like the Harvey Weinstein stuff was not that long ago. I mean, you watched on the basis of sex and what was it was like in like the 50s. Like even you forget sometimes how crazy it was then that women were just like expected to be stay-at-home others and not have real jobs and, like, how the way she was treated by being a woman at Harvard Law School. Like, all these things are just, I think they're important to watch because they're like reminders of how far we've come and they're inspiring to, like,

keep pushing forward for equality and fight back against, like, sexual harassment and rape cultural, all these kind of things. And I just like, you know, I overloaded myself on this trip. No, I think that bombshell is really important specifically also because I know that these things like the Me Too movement gets sensationalized in the media and everyone talks about it and then it just goes away. And then we just forget about it. And I think it's so important that we're still making movies about this. It's still very current in pop culture that we are still reminding women all the time this happens. This keeps happening. This is not okay that this happens. Tell somebody, tell somebody, tell somebody. So I love that we're still making movies about this.

And everybody knows about Fox and Roger Ailes and it's still important to remind people like what happened and that this can keep happening. And I mean, Harvey Weinstein just got finally sentenced like it's not too little too late. It's too late. It's fine. I'm glad it happened. I mean, Roger Ailes, he got outed and then he fucking died. I mean, Harvey Weinstein's going to die, you know, if somebody doesn't kill him in jail. You know, R. Kelly's on his, he's fucking old. Like, these men should have been caught so many years ago and prosecuted so many years ago, but it doesn't matter.

It's still happening. And we're on the right path now. Like, this just didn't used to happen. Well, I mean, I worked in restaurants my whole life, you know, since I was 15. And people just got away with murder. Like, chefs and owners, like, I think about, like, as a young waitress, the way that, like, people touched me or like the people who owned the restaurant would touch me. And like that wasn't that long ago.

And I think that like this stuff is just not a hot take. It's just it's been let to run rampant. I don't even know that I thought that much about it at the time. And so I mean, I think it's just important keep talking about it. Keep reminding these people this can't happen. And Harvey Wineskees go to jail for 23 years. I know. It's amazing.

He's just going to fucking die though. He looks just like Roger Ales looked. They're walk with a cane or walker. It's so disappointing. It's like I don't know how much of it is being played up for, empathy, but like, fuck these guys. And, like, part of me is like, good. I hope he fucking dies.

The other part of me is like, I hope he's like, I hope he lives the 23 years. I know. He's not going to, but, oh, he's going to get fucked up in jail. I love it. I hope people just kill him. But almost, like, to the point of death, but not death. Also, guys, if your employer, if your employer touches your butt at work,

that's different. People are going to feel like, I can't believe she went from, grab my ass at Squid Row. It's Ashley's body and it's her choice, okay? It's her choice. you get fingered by the manager of senior frogs in Convo if she wants to. Body my choice. I'm sexually harassing the video guy right now.

He knew I wanted it. I was wearing a short skirt. I had it coming. I'm kidding. What were you wearing? I was wearing a short skirt. And a thong. He probably saw my ass cheeks.

But no, I want to make it very clear that nothing enrages me more than a guy thinking he can grab your ass or grope a woman in public or anywhere. I would physically hurt somebody or get them kicked out of a bar as we all should. But this was just different. It was like just, it wasn't even sexual. It was like this guy that worked there.

It was like a little mexkin love tab to move me out of the way. And I just had to make a joke about it. But, you know, got to be clear of the difference here and that I didn't actually feel violated and had, I felt that way I would have taken action. But, okay, I want to move on. Raina, I want to hear about some of your sexual escapades as of late. Do I have anything sexual I want to talk about?

People miss your sexual encounters. And I feel like last week, the whole intro was about me fucking this guy. They got a little taste and they want more. So you have someone else since you got back. So hey guys, I want to tell you that it didn't really work out long term with Raina and the guy from Tampa. It made sense. He's not from Tampa. He's a fucking Tampa.

Listen, I love Tampa, but he's Colombian. Okay. Can I jump in? Guys, there was a moment in time where the guy from Tampa that Raina met in Australia was considering meeting her in Bali. Oh, I forgot. I got super drunk. I went in this hot tub by myself because Ashley wouldn't come in with me.

I was left to my own devices for like an hour and a half in the hot tub drinking. And I convinced this person drunk to fly to Bali to meet me. Yeah. And he was going to do it. I had to back him off. You did it? Yeah. But then when you fully cancel the trip, I go, Rainer, are you going to tell him?

And you got, I don't fucking care about him. So savage. Did you talk to him after that? Did you like end this when you left the country? I had like a really good sexting, like situation with him while we were in the airport. I was with you. We were like somewhere from Australia to New Zealand. Yeah.

While we were in the lounge at the airport, him and I were sexting pretty heavily, talked about going to Bali together. and then that was that. Yeah, we shut it down. So I don't even know this. I can't believe. I don't know this. That I was sitting across. After you left, like, New Zealand and canceled Bali, did you talk to him again ever?

Are you guys? No. You guys are not talking. In the last week, we're not talking. You broke up. It's really. He went to Bali and you weren't there. I would break up with somebody too.

He's like, hey, I'm here. I'm at the airport. You're like, oh, I didn't go. Okay, listen, men have done worse things to women for decades. So I don't think it's like the worst thing ever that I let him just, like, fly to Bali. He didn't go. He didn't go.

But honestly, I did invite him. I would have been fine with him coming. I actually thought it would be like a fun, funny thing because I was going by myself, whatever, just come, like live your life. Also, this is not a person I'm trying to date long term. So it's like, whatever, come to Bali. We'll fuck in the jungle. Yeah.

But he wanted to come for all five nights, which I understand because it's like a 10-hour flight. Yeah. But I was like if you could just make it three nights and he didn't want to do that. So then we just stopped talking. Okay. Two guys broke up. I mean, whatever. It was a fun, like, like, one-vacation, one-night stand.

Yes. Because you had to come. come back and be with your real boyfriend. Because it's, God damn it. Okay, listen, I've been sleeping with my neighbor for a year. We have our anniversary. My one year anniversary of moving into the building was last week. So I think our one year anniversary of sleeping together is in like two or three weeks.

It was March Madness. I remember, because you did not come meet me at this party you're supposed to because you had met your neighbor. Yes, I met my neighbor. Yes, we've our one year anniversary of sleeping together coming up. I don't think he listens to the podcast, so fuck it. I don't care. I'll talk about it.

Yeah. me, I don't know why he likes me, because I'm like not a good version of myself around him. I'm not like fun or funny in any way. But yeah, he came over. He like brought a drink down. I got ready in the bathroom, did my hair, and we like went out to dinner, drinks, came back, had some wine, had sex. I guess we're in a relationship. You guys are fully dating. We're planning your one year. I just like, I cannot like stress how hard I nailed this. Like, not him, but like the situation. Also him. I don't know. I actually did a great job either night because I wanted it to end. And so, like, I got on top and, like, rode into town.

I got the horses in the back. I, like, looked at it at myself, and I was like, God damn, girl, you're doing great. That's a workout for you. I know. This is the most exercise. I might, so we're going to get quarantine probably. I don't know this. I'm not a doctor.

But if that happens, I might, number one, I get bored enough to exercise. But number two, I found somebody in my building that has to have sex with me. I know. You nailed it. I know it. I feel like your building has, like, a lot of hot guys. You haven't even tapped into yet. I haven't really.

I just don't, I really have yet to see them. Like, I don't know. It's like, I think because I have such odd hours. Like, I have been in the lobby before at like rush hour times when people are like coming home from work and I was like, this is like a party down here. But I'm just so off. Like, I am not in the common areas the same time as like a person with a day job. So allegedly there's a hot guy that lives two doors down.

Have yet to see him. I told the doorman, let me know when he goes to the gym. Buzz me down there. I'll go down there and check him out. You told the dormant that. Yeah. You guys are in cahoots to sexually harass the... No, I just said...

Residents of the building. I just said, let me know if this alleged guy goes into the gym. Maybe I need a workout. And I'll go down there. Every time I've seen a hot person in your building, they're either coming to or from the gym. Every time. Always a hot guy.

That's, I think there's... It's just hard to tell. Like, I've seen like one or two guys. So have you. But like, are they visiting? I don't know. As far as are they residents? Are they not?

But I mean, if we get quarantined, yeah, I'm going to start knocking on doors. Yeah, like, hey, what's up? Do you have any wine? Do you want to talk? Do you need wine? Do you need daily harvest smoothies? I'm stocked.

All right, let's get into it. Okay. Let's actually start, like, people, this is not really the topic. The topic is going to get a little more, like, bodily related. But we'll just start with this, make it, give a few tips. You guys did ask us how to take nudes, and we took a lot of nudes in the last month because we were in a lot of hotels. And so, I don't know.

You want to give some nude tips? You're a pro. You get artsy. You got super artsy at that hotel in Melbourne. That was crazy. Here's the, I'll give, this is my one tip. This was a pose that really worked out for me. I was sitting cross-legged.

There was just a mirror by the bed. That's why this works so well, which is a hotel without enough mirrors and no full-length mirrors. I'm out of here. Who's fucking here? I know. There's no mirrors. There was a mirror right by the bed. And I just sat, sat up, cross-legged.

So I'm naked, fully naked. I had my socks on. which is kind of cute. I wore like Argyle, like dad socks. I didn't even mean to. I sleep in socks. I cannot stress enough how important it is to put on socks. And then you text somebody,

do you like my new socks? Ooh. Yeah. I know. It's a hat, but socks are key. They weirdly are these socks I took for my dad. This is awkward.

So I was wearing my dad's socks and my nudes. So sit cross-legged. That covers your vagina, you know. And then I did one hand, like, kind of down, like diagonal, covering one nip.

also pushes a little cleave up. And then the other arm is holding the phone. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So your arms are just kind of, and like the trick of like looking good in any photo, and there's lots of these like tutorials on TikTok and stuff like that. And Rain and I are always like coaching each other

when we're taking these photos of each other is always to keep straight pointed lines. Like pointed toes, long arms, long lean limbs. Cross your legs, drape that one hand diagonal over your other leg and then the one hand holds the phone. You're covering your titties. you're covering your vagina, full nude.

It was hot. I think it's so hot. And I think, like, listen, it's a little shocking to open a phone and see, like, a full-on vulgar, like, up-close vagina shot. I mean, some people want that. There's a time and a place. Don't get me wrong. I think there's the insinuation of sex is so sexy.

And, like, that's going to get a guy hard just as much as your naked titties, you know? Yeah. And I just like to think, like, you know, if somebody sends this to somebody, like, how embarrassed am I going to be? Like, if that photo, like, showed up on the internet, you'd be like, great. I totally 100% agree with you. Any sexy photo I've ever sent, I've asked myself, if this sends up on the internet one day,

am I okay with it? The answer is yes. I have yet to send like full close-up titty or vagina shots. I don't know if I ever will. Maybe it's just not for me. Everybody's different. I just don't think I've sent any. My face is never in them.

Yeah. Unless I have like a bra on her pants on. And then like if a bikini could cover, I don't go shit, put it anywhere you want. I know, like when I send that out, I was like, I hope this gets leaked. It's my favorite photo you ever taken. We obviously told you guys we took photos in bikinis

and that bathing suit shop. I took a photo in the bath. Yeah, tell me about your bath nude. Well, it's also like a specific, like she sat up in the hotel room because there's a window, there's a glass window in between the room and the tub, so I took it in the reflection of the window. And like, you could see that my titties were like floating at the top of the water, but you couldn't see any nipple, but like I'm wet. Yeah. Anytime you could be wet.

and the insinuation of nudity. But also, again, not that I'm sending this to my brother, but it's not like explicit. And you can see down into the tub, but my legs were crossed in the tub as well, so you couldn't actually see my vagina slit. Right. Yeah.

You took a great one, like, selfie style that showed, like you were laying on your stomach with your feet crossed in the air, with heels and like bare booty, which is a great shot. It's a great shot. I saw like a shirt on a little bit. So like the implication is butt stuff.

Oh, okay. I had no panties on And then, yes, heels. Can't recommend heels enough. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, like I was taking a selfie, but I cropped my face out. Heels, the insinuation of heels and no panties on is just like. Yes.

And then I haven't sent it yet, but I'm going to put like a little like moving peach up and down on my butt crack and send it. Oh, why? Why? You don't want full crack. I don't know if I want full crack for the person. I'm definitely going to send it too. No, we're not there yet. We're just sending thirst traps, but we're not fucking yet.

Yeah. We'll get there. Well, I, my news. that I, the one we're talking about, my best work to date, I didn't even get to send it because I had someone in mind and I was working up to it. So it was the final, it was going to be the final, the grand finale. Because it's a lot to send that as the first news. I would never. I just, I needed to suss him out a little and I sent him like a shot in a robe that was like pretty good. Like it was tip, tip, top of the titty's sexy vibe. And I didn't get the, it wasn't

I just didn't get the response I was hoping for, which is anything but like a look nice, you look nice in a robe. Doing good, bud. It was like, looking good friend, looking good friend. Like, any, if guys, if you're listening, a girl sends you a photo of a garment that you say, like, I would like to take that off of you. Or like, the bare minimum is, I wish I was there. Hard eyes.

Hard eyes. Right. Can't wait to see that on the floor. Thank you. That's not even. putting yourself out there. Not at all. That's not even dirty talk. Like, would love to sit down the floor. We'd love to take that off you.

Bare minimum. I wish I was there. I didn't get any of that. So the nude really, it's never gone out. It's still in the, it's still like waiting. I'm so glad. I'm so glad that we did that sexting episode months ago because I feel like this made us feel better about that reaction because like so many girls sent us their boyfriend's responses to sexting and their men were.

all like, great, super, looking good. And shit like that. So at least I'm like, okay, this is what a lot of guys do. It's not that like you look bad. It's just like a lot of guys get this stuff. They're like, I don't know what to do. Right. What do I do?

Hard eyes, water droplets. It just, this wasn't like the end of the road with this person. I just was like, I'm not going to send him the full blown. No, you don't deserve it. You don't deserve it. You didn't do anything to deserve this. Steph, you're a sexting game up. I sent a bikini photo.

At least I got a holy fuck back. Yeah. Like I don't, and that's fine too to me. I don't need somebody to be like, I want to be inside of you. I mean, totally. I'll take it. I would love it. I would prefer it.

But any, like, give us something different than like, looking good friend. No, I'm kidding. That was that meme. That's my favorite meme. That girl sent a nude and the hero bad looking good friend. I can't even. The thought of it makes me like slowly when to start cutting myself. Yes.

I like these tips for how to send them. I think you did the right thing. you didn't like step up your game the next time around. Like I have a photo that I like to send to people. I've retake it every time. But like where I'm like, we talk about this thing like where I'm slipping my hand into my underpants. I'm insinuating masturbation.

That's pretty high level. That's very high. Like black diamond. You got to be like fucking a person. That's not like a new relationship kind of photo. My go-to new relationship sexy pick is bikini top cleavage. So I remember when I was first dating one of my exes, like I went to Miami and I, this bikini just really pushed my titty's up. And I took it kind of

like looking up. And then on this last trip, I took one like laying on my stomach on the beach. You know, your titty's like hanging down. They're kind of pushed together. So you get like a lot of good cleavage kind of looking off to the side. My hair was blowing. Like that one was, that's, I like to start with some like bikini cleavage on a vacay. Start simple. Something that it would be okay. It's like your dad's side. I'm just kidding. I mean, but I wouldn't be embarrassed. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can't go to. I went too hard too soon once. And I sent this guy. I just, I, we hadn't slept together.

And I took like a similar like selfie style. I'm laying on the bed, selfie style, like, full butt out, naked. You could see I'm not wearing a bra. Like full back. Full butt. I just think it's like too much to start with. For first time out, we didn't fuck yet. Oh, that's, I mean, that's what makes a difference. Yeah, you unfucked.

He really like put me to shame. He didn't respond for like two hours. He's the only ex that I care about who I want to know that I'm successful still. I just, I need him to know. He's got to know. He probably know us, right, Jeremy? Well, let's get into our juicy topic for today. No pun intended. I do want to start vaginas with vaginas. So I'm glad these little ginas around here. It's your little shiny. We like to say cute words because vaginas are gross.

We asked you guys what you want to hear about. So we're going to talk about that stuff. I'm so glad we're doing this. I think this is the stuff that like doesn't get talked about that much, like period sex and smelly vaginas. And overwhelmingly. you guys want to talk about queafing. Should just open with queafing? Just like, just get it out of the way. I said to Ashley this morning, I was like, I can't believe I'm Googling

like what or normal vagina smells. And it's on my way over here, I googled like how to stop queefing. You can't. What is my life? Do you want to read you the definition of queefing? You were you good to start with queafing just to knock it out? Yeah, I don't have that much to say about it.

It was overwhelmingly on, we, so we asked you guys. Also, just let me back up. This topic, I was inspired to do it by a Facebook thread. So someone in our Facebook group wrote, What are your most embarrassing sex stories? So many of them were related to quefeing, farting, all these things. And I called Raina and I'm like, hear me out.

Full episode dedicated to weird sex body stuff. She was like, say no more fam. So we were inspired by you guys. And then we posted on Instagram questions, tell us what you want to hear. Every other response was queefing. So it's just vaginal flatulence, guys, Vash flage. It's just the definition from, I think this is,

Health.com is the, it's simply the release of air that has been trapped in your vagina, which tends to occur during a workout when you're sitting cross-legged or after something is placed inside the vagina, which could be a penis. I'll say this. I don't really know if I've had any crazy, quefeing experiences during sex, but sometimes I, like, sit down too hard and I feel like I got a little, like, I relax hard. Like, if I've been up and about and I just take a seat and I'm wearing some loose fitting pants, I'm like, my vagina just farted. Really? I mean, it's...

Like, everybody's body's different. I'm not shaming you. Everybody's body's totally different. It's not all the time, but like air comes out of the vagina sometimes. You're just walking around huffing and puffing out of your vagina. I'm not, but every once in a while, I'll like take a seat too hard and I'm like, did anyone hear that? Andrew Collin was telling me he knew these girls that used to just, they could just like quiff on demand. Like, I don't really, I don't really know there's anything you can do.

And I just don't think any guy should care or really does care. Like, my take on it is tell them that means the sex was good. You know, like, it's a chef's kiss of sex. Like, you were just, you pounding all that goodness into me. Something had to come out. Yes. Like, if you tell a guy that this had to do with that good D, he's going to tell all this. He's going to tell, yeah.

Absolutely. Let's start this movement. I think that you, I mean, obviously, we're not doctors, but I love that we did a little research for this and everything I researched said the same thing. it happens to everybody. There's nothing you can do to stop it. It's not like doing kegle exercises. They're going to, like, tighten up your vagina.

There's nothing to do how tight your vagina is. It's happened to me like twice ever that I can remember. It's just like not a thing that ever happens to me. Because probably I do those kegles really well. I mean, kegles can't hurt, I think, in life. But also not necessary. You're doing it right now. Can you tell you?

But I, yeah, like, you get fucked really hard on, like, when you're laying down, you sit up and like, yeah, that's when I think it normally happens. It's nothing you do about it. Yeah. I'll say this and, you know, I want to make this known throughout. If you feel like anything is abnormal and excessive, talk to your doctor, we can't stress that enough. If you're like, I literally quefe 12 times a sex session to ask your doctor, you know, but the occasional quiff is totally normal and no guy should shame me for it. I think guys know this happens. I don't hear guys say bad things about it. Like a lot of this stuff we're going to talk about today is based on

research we've done, our own experiences, and having so many men around us and their input through this podcast and just having so many guy friends and stuff in general. So I hear guys talk about sex all the time. Nobody's out here. Can you believe this happened at a quief? Never heard the word in like a conversation with men ever. Yeah. I have four brothers. I'm a brother of three step brothers. Not the world like talking about quefeing. But like I mean, I've been around them and their friends. We have tons of guy friends. I have never once heard a guy talk about sex to be like, oh man, can you believe? Can you believe it? like you're welcome to address it, I think, because I think people don't want you, they don't want their partner to think that it was a fart. So I think it's fine to be like, oh, sorry, like,

that just means the sex is really good. Like make a joke about it, own it, be confident, don't get so embarrassed to run away. Farting a little different. I even would be embarrassed to fart during sex and in the bedroom, but it's happened to all of us. And guys have farted during like blowjobs. Like, we could girls tell us that like guys fart during a blowjob during sex. Like, people fart. It's not my ideal. I don't hope it happens to me. but it happens. So it happens. It's happened to all of us. Give it a little chef's kiss. Tell them that means a dick is good. And if it's excessive, talk to your doctor. Chef's kiss. I cannot. Like, my vagina just burped a little bit to say thank you. Can you imagine you queef and you're like, hmm.

You're so proud. I'm so glad we had video today. Did we even say that's why Jeremy's here. He's doing the video. Maybe at some point. So yeah, I just wanted to knock that out because it was overwhelming. Yeah. You want to talk about vagina? Rain is going to be our vaginal smell expert. You know I love the way my vagina smells. It does smells nice.

Like I was saying to you yesterday, like how do we know like what a normal vagina smell is? Like what if like vagina smell to me is so different than you? Like what if my color pink is not your color pink? Like, okay, this is the most like medical research I did because I'm really, So many people ask about vagina smells. And I was like, okay, what makes a vagina smell differently? First of all, I just want to, like, get this out of the way. And I've said this before.

A vagina is not like a dick. The hole in your vagina is a gaping hole into the cavity of your body. That has to smell. Right now, you didn't have to say gaping. You didn't have to use that adjective. I have a tight little pretty one, but for some people, it's gaping. No. Like you, because you queef all the time.

Yeah, obviously. It's a huge hole. It's a gapinger. My vagina's tight. It's probably not. It's the only thing I haven't done is penetrate you. I put a tampon in front of you the other day. Anyways, yeah, so I found this article.

I really liked it. I'll tell you guys what it was. It's my favorite article. I found it's healthline.com. And the article's called molasses to pennies. All the smells a healthy vagina can be. Oh, my God. Okay.

It broke it down to all these. I mean, first of all, I like the smell of mine. Obviously, like, your vagina is going to smell different. If you've been showered in a few days or you work out or you're on your period. I think there's like been days where I've smelled like maybe. be like bleach. You're smelled like, like there is a reason for that where I felt like I've smelled like a cleaning product. I mean, my thing is like I just think we should all know our bodies and what they smell like. I had an incident. I think I've talked about it. We're not going to

get into because the story discussed to you. But where I did have a tampon stuck up there, actually it probably will come up because we're going to talk about that later. But like, I could smell it because I know what I smell like. Like the most I get vagina smell is after a workout. It's mostly after a flywell class because you are sitting on a bike and your workout pants are pressed up into your vagina. And then you, I mean, it's not staggering to the, to somebody walking by, but I can smell it and I come home and shower. But when that smell changes, something's wrong. You might have bacterial vaginosis, like in an overwhelming way, but you're going to talk about what's normal. That was, that was the whole gist of this was that there's all kinds of smells. If it suddenly changes,

if it smells rotten, you might have bacterial vaginosis, see a doctor. if it smells aggressively fishy. Maybe see a doctor. Stuff like pennies, it's probably, obviously iron, you're on your period. I thought this was interesting. If it's sweet like molasses, when we say sweet, we don't mean freshly baked cookie sweet. I was like, oh, my pussy does smell like that? They said it might be some bacteria.

So I was like, okay, well, I'm trying to get that bacteria. And chemicals like a newly clean bathroom. I was like, oh, my God, that's bad. They didn't say it's bad. It just means that like maybe you're not. It can be bacterial vaginosis. It could also just be urine. because there's ammonia in your urine.

And so just sometimes you have higher amounts of ammonia. But yeah, the overall, if it's skunky like BEO or like smoked herb, which I thought was like a funny. It smells like skunk. It's probably emotional stress or exercise that's totally fine to. Take a shower. If it's fishy or there's a fillet smell, bacteria vaginosis, it can be all kinds of things. If it smells rotting, see a doctor.

That's the overwhelming thing. But like, it's crazy to think that like it shouldn't smell or it should smell perfect. Every guy I've ever dated has wanted to go down. on me has enjoyed going down on me. I know that like probably like a lot of women are a little more scarred because they've heard men be like, her pussy smelled so bad. It's like, first of all, dick smell bad all the time too and fuck you. And it's the inside of my body. Right. I'm going to do everything I can to clean it. But honestly, you're just lucky you're inside of it. Yeah, exactly. And it's again, it's a hole in your body. It has a smell. Like, I just used to worry a lot more

about being, being wet and like bodily fluids. when I was younger, and then you realize, like, that's great, the more, the better, and just smells and things like that. And you just, you're younger. You're, you're more worried about. I remember that when you had your period in middle school was like the most mortified thing you can imagine now, who fucking cares? Like, I don't even care if there's blood in my pants.

I'm a woman. But, like, it is just a guy that's saying that is, that's like an asshole type of guy. And also, guys, like, just, we can't say enough. Like, don't use duches. They're bad for you. They throw your pH off. Like, shower normally. I don't use a lot of scented body products.

I'm always been really straightforward. I use Dr. Bronner's hemp and peppermint is the best thing ever. It really wakes you up. It feels great on your butthole in your vaj. And or like dove, sensitive skin. Like if you have, if you're feeling like you are having any sort of irritation anywhere, just switch to these better products.

Totally. Talk to dermatologist, talk to your doctor, but don't stick a douche up there for the love of God. And, you know, we recommend 100% cotton tampons. I mean, we use all the tampons and just whatever you're putting up there, be wary. Yeah. Certain lubes, you know.

Oh, yeah, certain lobes. I mean, I prefer a water-based lobe. I just think it's better for like my sheets and my body in general than, and it's also like safer for toys. Like you're not supposed to get silicone lobe on toys. Oil-based lobe and silicone-based lobe. But I recommend water-based lobe. We used to talk about the coconut based loob woo.

Straight coconut oil can give people some irritation. So, I mean, again, just do your research on this stuff. But like, don't douche and don't stress yourself out that you're doesn't smell like fucking roses. Okay, it doesn't have to. First of all, so I shower before I go on dates. I try to like shave and shower. I wanted to date the other night.

I showered right before. He went down on me. He kissed me after. There's no taste and no smell. I was so disappointed. You know, I just like the way it smells. But also, if you're like on a date with a guy and you go back home with him, you think like things are going to get hot and having you're really nervous,

pop into the bathroom and just like spray a little water on it. Or use, like, bring those wipes with you. Like, again, like, we, Lola or, you know, whatever brand you use. of the vaginal wipes. Like, I think those, if you are more self-conscious about it, those can be a game changer. Yeah. Mega Babe.

We love Megababe as a company in general. But I'm glad that you brought up being young because I remember feeling like I didn't really enjoy people going down on me when I was in like college, just after college, because I always was so in my, I couldn't stop being in my head about like, what is this much of smell like for them? And it's like, guys like it. They want to do it. Yeah.

They're not doing it to you if they don't like it. And I've been with like a handful of guys that just never like raised their hand to go down on you. and it's because they don't enjoy it in general or maybe they're not good at it. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Right. You know?

And so, yeah, I enjoy it and I just don't think about it. They're not doing it because they're not going to do it if they don't like it. Yeah. And if you're really, you're like, I don't know, I feel like this is abnormal. No guy will go down to me. They go down there. They pop back up. My vagina stinks.

Talk to your doctor. Doctors can't get arrested enough. I want to talk about the way vaginas look. I mean, they look so vastly different. Like you can Google like a diagram of all the different types of vaginas. I just think this is one of those things of like, I know there are some conditions where they are in large labias and things like that. And I can't speak to that.

I feel for those women. I hate that they would have body insecurities. I just don't think this is the thing guys care about either. They're just happy to be in there. Like, I don't know. I don't, my vagina is not super tucked in. I don't look like a little porn star,

but it's not really super big either. I think it's just average. And some days it looks fucking big and crazy. And other days I'm like, I am a porn star. I never know what it's doing down. there, but I just don't, don't stress about it.

You cannot, like, just stop it. They all look different. I've never heard a guy complain about the way vagina look. And you, listen, the guys that do fuck those people. That is a terrible thing to talk about, to say about a woman and all these, like, terrible guys that are like, oh, rose be even currants.

Fuck that guy. He's just lucky to be inside of you. Yeah. You know that I didn't know until, like, for how sexual a person, I had no idea that vaginas were so vastly different. Like, I knew the nipples were all different, but I just thought we, like, all had the same vagina. And every guy I've ever fucked told me that I have the nicest vagina

they've ever seen and I learned that that's just a line. Oh my God. They're like, it's so cute. But, you know, as I've watched more porn and just like research stuff, like obviously there's a million colors shapes and size. I've seen 80-bitty clitties. I've seen giant clits. Yeah. You know, I mean, I think mine's like sort of normal.

The bigger the clip, the easier for them to find it. Ladies. Also, a lot of you guys in the comments said, I heard guys want a fat vagina. Someone's like, I heard guys like fat vaginas, fat pussies, fat labias. Like, I have a... It's just, it varies. There's nothing you can do about it. own your vagina.

A guy that's going to ever shame you, that guy's the fucking worst. And most guys are not out here doing it. I don't even, I've never even really heard it. My ex-boyfriender used to call me chubby badge. Raina. I never told you this.

This is her me too moment. I was 21 years old. My boyfriend used to call me chubby badge or puffy vash. There's just like, there's a lot to push in to. There's a little puff. Oh, it's like padded. Listen, you can cup it in one hand.

It's a little. But like, you know, yeah, it's a padded vash. So you used to call me chubby vaj because you can like poke it a little bit. It's nice. You can poke it. Oh my God. Look at it.

Yeah, it's puffy. But listen, I agree with you. It doesn't look the same every day. I don't know. I can't speak on this. I should have Googled it, but too late now. I don't know. It changes.

Also, it's probably to do with your cycle and heat. It's all skin is subject to heat. My body looks different in the summer versus the winter. Yeah. And I think probably a lot of it with your menstrual cycle. But yeah, I just want you women to own your bodies, be proud of them. know that anything that you think a guy is judging you for,

he's not, if he is not as much as you would ever think, and the guys that do are not guys you should date. So be glad that you were able to weed them out in the first place. Absolutely. I heard somebody ask on a separate podcast, how do I just be confident during sex? And I think that that probably is a lot of like, I'm afraid of how my vagina looks, how it smells,

how I look on top, things like that. And I just don't think guys think about this stuff that much. I don't think they do. They're happy to be there. and affirmations help too. Like if that's going to sound like so crazy, but like look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful your vagina is.

All I talk about is how much I let any guy go down to me. Any man off the street, you can go down there. I don't fucking care. I'm proud of it. It's probably not the most beautiful. The smell is fine. Like, you're lucky you're down there. Tell that to yourself in the mirror.

Affirmations. This is a hundred McGregie's episode. We talked about affirmations. Look yourself in the, look your vagina in the mirror. Eat a slice of it. a pineapple. Tell yourself that your pussy's great. All right.

That's my myth. You should eat pineapple. It's supposed to make your pussy smell better. Remember the Kardashians did that on an episode? They all ate pineapple and then smelled each other's vaginas. It was really, really wild. Diet is related to everything. And the way you're, you know, people of different cultures smell different.

It's because what they eat and what seeps through their pores. You know what I mean? It is what it is. Like I think that what you eat affects the way you smell your body odor, your vagina odor, things like that. I think clearly the healthier, cleaner you eat, the better you're probably going to smell. Yeah, all I eat is carbs, so my vagina smells yeasty. Also, guys, we're not going to get into a ton of like UTI, STD birth control, even related stuff today, but that is on an episode we did called STD's UTIs and IUDs. IUDs, IUDs, yes. So I don't know if that's the order,

but go check that out. We had a professional on to talk about that kind of stuff. even before we get into it, we're not going to dive into birth control here. People have wildly different opinions. Be safe. If you don't want to get pregnant, use contraception of some sort, whether that's your birth control, whether that's condoms. We're not advocating for either or, but you know what works. Do your research.

Talk to your doctor. We're not going on that road today. Yeah. Just have a guy come on your face instead of inside of you. It's all safer. All right. Behold time. I'm so excited.

Neither rest like to do any butt stuff. So, I like when people eat my ass. Oh, yeah. People. I like when it got eats my ass. Like when multiple people at the same time eat my ass. Okay, listen. I love a really, a lot of salad.

We are fully committed to doing an episode where we talk about how to be good at butt sex. So this is not that we actually are going to do it because I would like to learn how to be better at it. And how to enjoy eating butt or even having them. Doing it for the first time even. So we are going to, we have a guest. We're not going to give it away right now. We don't want to get you guys too excited. We have a guest.

We're really going to talk a lot about anal and some tips and stuff like that. that's just really not what happening, what's happening today. But of course, as always, everybody knows, lube, relax. If you drink, drinks are always good. Like, relax your body, use loop. Those are the hottest tips. But we're going to delve into it more at a later date. You've got to work into it.

You've got to eat in the butt a little bit, circle it with your finger. You got to work it out a little bit. We're doing a whole episode on the, I'm not doing the tutorial because I never do butts. I did a little butt stuff the other day and it was not good for me. Oh, my God. Well, here, you guys wanted to know about the way butts look and smell. poop on the dick. Yeah. If you're doing anal, there's a risk. You're going to get poop on his

dick. Like, it's, if you're trying anal, if there's, what, Rainey, you say it, you said it yesterday. There's poop in your butt all the time. It's just poop up there. I was telling Ashley about these anal suppositories I took once. But it's just, there's poop up there. There's poop up there. I read some articles that basically said that like it is a very low probability because where the, where the dick goes into is actually past where the poop would be. Yeah. So it's a low probability that somebody. But I don't know if a guy, I don't know a ton of women that are begging to have something in their asshole. So like if a man wants to do it, then he's risking having poop on his dick. That's just what happens. We got a ton of stories. We got so many emails from you guys. We got so many different

Instagram DMs and stories that you guys shared. So many of you guys have experienced poop during anal. And overwhelmingly it didn't freak the guy out. I think they know this is coming. My suggestion is have anal with someone you trust. Like have anal with someone that you know is not going to get freaked out if there's poop involved. That just is what it is. If you're into colonics and you're, you want to do anal for the first time you guys have a date set, you're doing like anal on Valentine's Day 2021. Go get a colonic if you're really worried about it. Clean yourself out. Have that anal. Like I don't think people are in no judgment having anal on a first day with a stranger. If they are, live your truth. But like if you're worried about it, make sure you have the right partner.

Yeah. Otherwise, I think you just accept it. That guy that I had like the one-night stand with in Australia wanted like stick his fingers in my ass and he was fucking made. That's up to him. Okay, so like I'm not going to volunteer to clean my butthole when you sneak attack it. Yeah. So if you get poop on it, that's on you. Yeah. One really quick thing. A lot of you guys asked about hemorrhoids.

Oh. I talked to a doctor last night. I went to this girl's dinner last night. There was a doctor there. Don't have anal with hemorrhoids. Wait till your hemorrhoids clear up. And this girl, her issue was that like, but my boyfriend, I have anal a lot. And I'm embarrassed to tell them I have hemorrhoids.

And it's like, hemorrhines are that big a deal. it's the same as it's basically like a hernia in your butt. I don't know, whatever. They're not that big a deal. They clear up. Tell him that you're not wanting to have anal for either that reason and be up front and honest or tell him like I'm just really gassy or I'm just not really feeling it. But don't stress about this.

Don't feel obligated to have anal when you have hemorrhoids. That girl is a champion. She is a hero. She's like, I just, I'm an excruciating pain. I can't really breathe or sit or eat. but I'm concerned about my boyfriend's fun in my butt. And I, exactly. She's like, we always have vain on Sundays, I have hemorrhoids.

So, but hemorrhoids also, guys totally normal. So many of you guys in the questions that we asked, you've had them, you've experienced them, totally normal, talk to your doctor, they clear up, you're going to be good to go. Don't stick a dick up there in the meantime. People asked about booty hair. We'll get to, we're going to talk about body hair. But if you have a little hair in your ass,

ass crack. Like, okay, who cares? Like, it's not going to, the guy's not going to feel it on his dick. And if he's spreading your butt cheeks open wide, just, I don't know, have the lights low. Like, or not. Nobody cares about a little beehole hair. Or shave it. Like, who cares? But I'm saying, I don't really want to get back in there with a razor. So if I'm a little overdue for a wax and I got a little beehole hair, well, I don't, what do I care? Oh, I do. I shave it. I like it. You can shave it. Or shave it. It's so fun for me. I just shave right out of there.

Yeah. And also, it's the best part of a wax. It's the only thing that doesn't hurt. We're going to do a whole thing on that. Yeah, we'll do a whole thing on hair. There was something that you said that I wanted to talk about about but holes. Also get in there with a washcloth. Clearly, if you're new to this podcast, there's a whole episode. No, not a whole episode. There's a whole intro on my butthole and how I clean it with a washcloth and rain a dozen. So, you know that we're, that's our MO. I barely grazed the hole when I'm cleaning. I just, like, take my hand and, like, card swipe my butt when I'm cleaning. I don't go into hole. Oh, I get in there. I should. I poop a lot. I poop more than your average person.

I poop a lot too. That's probably why. Um, bleaching. Guys don't care. If they do, that's a guy that's too obsessed with porn. You don't want to date him anyway. So you don't need to bleach your butthole unless you do work in the porn industry and that's what's expected of you. You don't need to bleach your butt hole. We all have a brown eye back there. You, but if you really want to, I know a great place in Atlanta that doesn't know. I, in Atlanta, I went to sweet peach for sugaring and I, they were, I mean, they maybe they still are, but they were offering butthole bleaching for a while and I asked about it. And it's basically you just, someone would just rub massage bleach into your skin until it was bleached. And I don't really recommend bleach on

your skin anyway. So I don't recommend it. Live your truth. I don't think it's the best thing for you. I don't think we should be massaging bleach into our beeholes. I think people realize that they're going to not be bright, white, or pink. So get over it. I am getting so mad while you're talking about this, because I'm just thinking, like, what is the equivalent of any of this stuff for men? What are men doing?

Men are like, stick a finger in my button. You have to wade through this, like, moist, hairy, definitely never cleaned, certainly not fucking bleached, dirty trash can to get to the hole. And then I've got to stick my finger in your warm poo filled a hole. I'm not. Men don't have to do anything.

And women are out here being like rubbing bleach into their brown-eyed beeholes. I mean, I'm not. It's crazy. I think that's the message I kind of want to get across is like this, we'll get to beauty standards and things like that and double standards and whatever. But I just think a lot of this stuff like isn't totally necessary. I think girls worry about it a little too much. I think they think men care more.

And I think the porn industry has changed a lot of things. I don't say that in like a totally negative way. But I think that like a lot of the stuff you can kind of relax on. Yeah. And look, there's certain things that just make me feel better in bed. And, like, I, I, we'll talk about body hair. But, like, yeah, there's certain ways of cleaning and grooming that make me feel better about myself. And I'm happy to do those. And I'm, and that's the same thing as me being honest about getting Botox or something like that. I'm going to get whatever I need to get to feel good. Let's talk about it. And I don't think that we need to shame people that you are down. So anyways, yeah, let's talk about it. I mean, I just want to say up top, you know, I think that there are some women and, you know, no shade, but that skew into this whole, like, women shouldn't have to shave their legs or shave their armpits. You don't have to. If you don't want to, you don't have to. I personally, I've had laser on my armpits. I get sugared for my vagina and, you know, I shave my legs. Like a comfortability level, what I find attractive in myself, what I want to see when I look in the mirror naked. And, you know, if I'm with a partner, like what I think that they like. So I think that there's a lot of, like, men don't have to do this stuff, which is true. But I think we have attracted to standards for men too or whatever sex that we prefer. I don't want a guy with a hugely hairy back sweater.

You know, I don't want a guy that has like really skinny noodle arms, you know. So I think we put standards on men too. And I think men can be like, okay, yeah, you have to shave your and wax your body hair, but I have to be in the gym because women like muscles. I think it's just, it all equals out in the end. I think women have it a little worse on some of this stuff, but men are expected to make more money and be the provider and have muscles and all these things. Like, there's expectations on them too. So I just want to be clear because I think people can get into this like, they did it with

our body episode. I think we got a little bit of feedback that was like, you know, everybody is beautiful and you guys shouldn't be advocating how to lose weight. And it's like, then don't listen, you know, like everybody is beautiful. If you don't shave your body hair, that's great. That's your truth. Just like if you don't care about working out and eating a certain way, that's your truth too. Like our whole thing is like, if you're interested, we're going to tell you.

Yeah. And then don't listen if you don't want to do it. Yeah. I just want to make it clear that like if you don't want to do this stuff, you don't have to do it. I like having a certain body type and what I like what I see in the mirror. I do that for me. It's not for anybody else. I do it for me.

I like to shave my pussy. You know, like I just like, this is for me. Yeah. Well, I have certain things I like in many. too. I don't want to take somebody's pants off and see a giant forest, but I also don't want like fully shaved. I have preferences too. I'm not going to break up with somebody over it. I'm not going to like tell my friends about it in the group chat. Like, oh my God, so crazy. But like, yeah, I took some of these pants off once and he had like fully shaved and it like made me feel like I was

fucking a child and I didn't like it. That's my preference. I'm not going to break up with somebody for it. Yeah, totally. There's times in my life where I've like, well, you know, I was trying to grow a bush for a long time. And that was for me. I wanted a bush. That wasn't for anybody else. And I mean, I shave, but like, I like the advice to get sugared because I wouldn't have known. I didn't know. I've never heard of that before. But I love that you said that because, like, I have preferences in a male body.

And I wouldn't spring that on somebody month one, but I will speak to my partner about it. And I don't like when a guy shaves his chest. It's scratchy. I'd rather have the chest hair or I'd rather we figure something out and you go to the waxing salon with me. I don't like a stubbly chest. I want to lay my head on your chest. I fucking hate it. And I have no problem in telling somebody that.

And if a guy prefers my vagina to be a certain way, he is welcome to tell me, and I'm welcome to take the feedback or not. Like, I just don't want to get any sort of shade of like, women shouldn't have to do this. Don't do it then. You don't have to. You'll find somebody that, like, just like the guy that refuses to go to the gym because he's not going to subscribe to men having to have muscles and he's got these skinny noodle arms, he'll find someone that likes those too.

I mean, more so than anything, like, more so than like smell and taste and all this. I've never heard a guy in a group of guys say, like, who puts you. see her hair was so long. I've never, never, never heard one. Nobody's going to leave because it's too long or too short. No one's going to leave because there's a pattern or no pattern or a late next trip. No one's like, I'm out of here. Like I've gone on dates and not shave because I don't give a shit. Same. All the time. I want a date on Sunday and shame. I don't give shit. I don't fucking care. You can go watch a clip on my Instagram right now about this whole story how I was in a first day with a guy and we walked by my sugaring salon and I'm telling him about it.

Meanwhile, he's like, oh, wow, she's like fully sugared down there. And then I get home. am I to full bush. I forgot. It was a surprise for him. I called it the Bainbush. Like, I really, it's very funny. You can watch it on my Instagram, like, in full. But I would prefer that I'm freshly sugared when I'm hooking up for the guy for the first time.

But the probability of times that's happened is 50%. Like, I just don't care. I don't really. My preference is I get full sugared Brazilian. It lasts three weeks. I prefer sugaring because it's less irritation, less redness. You can do whatever you want to do with your vagina directly after. You can go to a spin class.

You can have sex. There's none of the stuff that you get from waxing. It's better for you. It's more natural. I don't want to say better for you. It is more natural. Less irritation. Pain level,

about the same. That's what I do. I get it all taken off because I don't know what else to do. I don't really care about a landing strip. But three weeks to a month, it's back. And sorry, if I don't have an appointment set up and we're fucking, you got a bush. You're going to deal with it. You should just be happy to be here.

Seriously. Okay. I have to ask you a question. Why did you start shaving your vad? Oh my God, this is so crazy because I was thinking about this either day, because we do have a lot of, like, younger listeners and some that are in college. I feel like the conversation started freshman year in college, and I hadn't done anything to mine, but some more experienced girls on the hall had, and everybody just started talking about it. And then two girls went into the bathroom together, and they were next to each other in the shower stalls, shaving their vaginas. Like, we all kind of started shaving our vages together. Freshman year in college. that's interesting that everybody was like that the movement came together like every

it's I mean freshman year in college you were with a bunch of girls on the hall you learn a lot I didn't know what a hair straightener was till freshman year in college I didn't know there should be two eyebrows right shit gets real my roommate was like you know you can pluck that right

what about you I started shaving it in high school actually yeah I just I got into porn earlier than most kids like and I've said this before like nothing terrible happened to me I wasn't over-sexualized in a bad way. I just discovered, I hit puberty earlier than most kids.

I started masturbating earlier, and I discovered porn a lot earlier. So, yeah, I was shaving probably when I was like 16. I mean, I had sex the first time when I was, like, around that age too. I wasn't, like, 13, but I was definitely, like, 16. I don't remember talking about that when I went to college. Like, I don't ever remember. I remember having a discussion about masturbation when I went to college. I didn't know if anybody else did that or, like,

had discovered this, like, trick that I learned with my body. But, yeah, I love this, like, thing where you guys all, went in together. It's like the other day when I put a tampon in for the first time in front of you because there was no applicators. Yeah. The tampons in Australia, no applicators. We were figuring ourselves the entire trip. I personally, like I said, I get sugared in Atlanta. Sweet Peach Wax is your go-to. You guys, it's such, I miss it every day. It's the best you will ever get in the entire world. In New York, I go to Sugar and in Brons. It's fine. Nothing compares to Sweet Peach. I know the owner, she's a good friend. I can't recommend enough. It's just better. It

feel smoother. I like it lasts longer. Personally, your hair grows back a little bit thinner. I've had plenty of people when I've gone to get wax or sugar that the, the esthetician is like, why don't you get laser? Like, you can clearly handle this level of pain. And I just, I don't know. I don't want to get rid of all my vagina hair. I don't know what it is. I just, I think it's there to kind of protect. And I just don't want to be like bald forever. But I have had laser hair removal on my armpits, which I'd love because you never get that 5 o'clock shadow. I would love for all my leg hair to disappear tomorrow, but that's such a long process that I've never really, I don't know. And I think that when it comes to vaginas, vulvas, I guess we should have been saying that the whole

time, whatever. You have really bad ingrones. Laser is a great option. So one of my good girlfriends, she just had the worst I'd ever seen. She had that dark, coarse hair, always ingrones, which they can turn into like blisters down there. Even with waxing? Even with waxing, yeah. So it's just, it's heard the way her body is.

they, so she got laser and she said it was one of the best things she's ever done. So ingrown hairs, if you guys went tips on that, sugaring is the best, shaving's the worst. And there is a product called tend skin, T-E-N-D skin that you use that prevents it and exfoliating every other day. Don't exfoliate the 48 hours after a waxer sugaring, but then exfoliating at least weekly and those tips are going to prevent ingrowns. But if you're just super prone to them and you've talked to dermatologists, everything, laser might be the move for you. I'm so glad you have all these, like, real tips.

That's so great, because I didn't really know any of this stuff. I've gotten waxed and I never had any problems with it, but do it or don't, guys. Whatever makes you feel good. Yeah. And again, though, like, I wouldn't want to give a blowjob with a mouthful of hair. So I think that most men that are going down on you prefer to not have to weed through the bush. Yeah. But they'll also do it.

But, like, it's just. making it easier for your partner. Like, I mean, my, my ex I was with for a long period of time, he loved when I was freshly sugared, not because he had some weird, like, child fetish. It was just smooth. He went down to me a lot. Great situation for him. But when I wasn't, he wasn't upset about it. But I also liked to do that for him. Like, I think you should talk about that with your partner. What do you prefer down there? I want you to do what I like and vice versa. I'm just thinking about how turned on I am by myself when I shave. I get out of the shower and it's all smooth. I have masturbate a hundred, I've masturbated a hundred

percent of the time after that. I'm turned on by it, you know? Like, brain is getting wet for now. So you don't, you don't, you just straight shave. You don't get ingrowns or any irritation. But I have, um, all my body hair is blonde and fine and thin. And so no, I've never had issues with that. I mean, I have tons of other disgusting body issues. But like, no, I've never had to like bleach a mustache. I've never had to like, yeah, there's like, I got one gift in life and it's, you know, nice hair. So yeah, I get ingrones a little bit, but wax is really good for me. I have blonde hair and like some, my skin tans really well. also it's not like so fair.

So I just, I got good skin. It's the one thing I got good hair and good skin. And if you guys, you're looking to get laser and you don't know this yet, you're not supposed to be in the sun. So if it's a long process, like six months, every month or whatever, don't quote me on that. But I think my armpits were a six-day-eighth month process and you cannot be in the sun, so get it done in the winter.

Oh, that's a good tip. The laser attracts to pigmentation. And I can get burned. I think one of the best, like, I think Groupon, like one of the best things for this is like group-ons and stuff like that. Like, there's a lot of things I wouldn't get groupons for, like, laser eye stuff. No, Lasic, no. Any type of, like, surgical procedures, like, micro needle, like things like that, I'm not going to do.

Not that microneedling, like, surgical, but it takes a lot of precision. Lasering, I would definitely be a groupon for. Yeah, if you find a reputable place, you've looked at their yelp and stuff like that, I say go for it. As one of the few things that I would use a coupon for. Yeah. And breast implants. I would totally use it for that now. Do you think people are out here doing groupons for breast implants?

Yeah. People got cement poured in their ass before. Like people, people are stupid and they don't care. And they're willing to roll to ice. What do you think botched came from? Oh my God, I forgot about that job. People that made a bad call. I'm not one of those people.

I can't watch that kind of stuff. Like, I don't want to watch surgeries. I don't even like to look at a scab. I don't, I can't. Like, these shows like, uh, Dr. Pimple Popper and like, my feet are killing me. I cannot. You even showed me, you showed me an x-ray of somebody's broken finger the other day. It made me sick.

Oh, yeah, you really, I don't like any of that shit. Do you like anything like that? I don't people like, will watch breast implant surgeries. If I even see that, like, I don't even want to watch a doctor show, like, Grey's Anatomy that shows a surgery. I don't know. I'm not into it. But, you know, live your truth, guys.

Listen, if you're into it, whatever gets you going. Make your day better. While we're talking about vaginas and grooming, let's talk about periods. Oh, my God. I'm so excited to talk about this. I have so many feelings. Oh, my God. Okay.

We both have sex on our periods. We can break it down. Yeah. We will. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just like, there's so much to unpack. I went to this eye-opening dinner last night with these girls, and I got all this information.

I personally don't have a really heavy flow. If it was, I just, I'm on birth control. It's regulated. I've never really had like crazy, terrible heavy flows cramps, the whole thing. I feel lucky in that way. If I was and I was just like pouring blood, I probably wouldn't have sex. No judgment. I just probably wouldn't.

So the few times I've had sex in my period, it was because like, we started making out and it was just we were so turned on and we just had to do it and there wasn't a ton of blood even

so I have never been in like a bloody mess of a situation I can't really speak to it I don't really love blood like we just talked about I don't like to watch surgeries I don't really want to be in a bloody situation

I think bloods it smells like iron smells like pennies I don't want the room to fill up with that smell like I think sometimes you've got to get it in and you get it done

You put a towel down. It's not that big a deal. I don't really judge a guy that doesn't want to have sex with a bloody vagina. We talked about this recently. Yeah. If you really want to do it and your partner doesn't, I think that's a conversation you need to have. But if you are gushing blood out of your vagina, I don't think it's crazy that a man is a little hesitant. Yeah.

I mean, listen, do what you want with your body. You should talk to your partner. I don't know that it's like a crazy turn on for everybody to have blood on their body. I don't know that I would want to have sex with a person that's bleeding. either. We've talked about this before. My feeling is that I'm sort of like you. I don't have a heavy flow. So like by day three, I'm good to go. Like, I'm not going to do it day one and day two probably. But like, I prefer to be in my home so that I'm not ruining somebody else's sheets just in case or in a hotel or something like that. I think as long as you just tell the

person you're on your period, they can make a decision. I'm glad that you said, like, you don't fault a guy one way or the other. Like, it's their own preference. Like, there is a a smell to blood. And, like, I don't know that everybody wants your blood on them. And, I've had people tell me they don't want to have sex. I've had one guy told me he didn't want to sex me on my period. And then I blew him to the point. He was like almost going to come. Then he was like, okay, we can fuck.

But yeah, you'll get him there. Yeah, you'll get him there. You know, you just, you got to edge them into it. I don't think there's anything wrong with the other. Some people aren't comfortable. You don't want to get blood all over the sheets. I'm happy to do. I'm probably not fucking from behind.

Like having a guy fuck me from behind on like day two of my period. And he's like looking at the blood. He's smelling the blood. He pulls his dick. out there's blood. But yeah, I mean, I had sex on the fourth day of my period the other day and there was no blood anywhere. Yeah. So, I mean, do whatever makes you guys comfortable. But your girl has a solution for you. Found out about this last night at dinner. Couldn't have been more divine timing. This is going to be such a huge free ad for this company, but whatever. Again, this is

not a form of contraception. This is only period management. It is, called flex and the website I'm looking at right now is called flex fits use code g-g no I'm just kidding it's a cup that you put up there it's not the diva cup the diva cup you are not you are not supposed to have sex on so if you guys use a diva cup we just looked at their website it is not meant for sex this says on it mess free sex on their on their website and I confirmed with a girlfriend last night she said sex on this thing tons of times so this is the solution that the only one I know of if this is the type of thing you're down with when you're on your period. Again, it's like a cup thing you have to insert. I don't know enough about it because I'd never use it, so I don't

really want to speak on it. But go to the website, Flex Fitz, did talk to a girl last night at length, uses this for her period exclusively and his head socks on it a ton of times. So it's a solution. If it works for your body. I did know this existed. Yeah. I don't know. The towels are a solution. I wouldn't know what else to say. I'm so glad you looked up Deva Cup. Yeah, because they do not recommend it. But this company, I mean, where is this company been? Why have they not called us? Like, why are we not doing ads for them?

Who are they? No one knows what this is. Last time we were at dinner, five girls. Only one knew about this. We're about to crash their website right now. You're welcome, people. You are welcome. No, I love it.

I think that so much of this episode is like, do what you want and makes you feel comfortable with like body here and period stuff and people going down on you. And it's like, fuck on your period if you want. to or don't. And if, you know, of course, if you guys, if you don't want to get a period, you know, you can look at an IUD and that kind of thing too. So I got to say this because someone asked and I hate to, you know, I don't want to really shame this person. I'm not going to call them out because I don't know. It's a, you know, it's a listener. But she said, maybe I misread it, but she said, how do I safely have sex with a tampon in?

You don't. You don't. I think I did that time in college. And no, girl, no. I'm so glad that someone invented another reason for you to talk about the time that you got a tampon stuck in your pussy. Because I don't hear the story enough. Okay. Let's unpack it. You guys, just a hard no. What are you doing?

I hope she just, I hope it was a typo. You cannot have sex with a tampon in. Don't do it. I think I probably did that that time in college. The story, I said it on this podcast. I've said at Andrew Collins podcast. I got a tampon stuck in me for days. you will know it starts to smell terrible, went to the clinic in Clemson,

and she took, she knew immediately what it was and took it out. If you get a tampon stuck in you, again last night, one of these girls, she served this knowledge. Another girl, she thought she had one in her. She went to the doctor. What a doctor will tell you to do, and they can remove it themselves, obviously. They very rarely need like a scapular or whatever those things are. But what you do is you squat fully, like do a full.

and if you're, I think if you do yoga, molasna squat, but if you don't know what that is, your regular squat, squat down all the way and make your hands into scissors, your four, your two, your forefinger and your middle finger, and go up there and you'll find the string. But the squat is the move to get the lodge tampon out of you.

Actually, the doctor, guys, so much research to went into this episode. It was all over this dinner. This dish had gone to this dinner last night. I cannot stress how normal this is. Like, it gets stuck. We had that, with Dr. Sean on, and he said in his practice,

they actually had a designated room for taking the tampon. It was room A. Yes, that's what. And he was like, oh, God, we were room A. But, like, this happens a lot. It happens to all kinds of people. Don't fuck with the tampon in. But if you're like Ashley and you do it by accident,

then squat down and get your eagle on. Bear down. Oh, and as far as putting stuff in your vagina, like, we talked, like, I don't know. We've heard some crazy stories about that girl. The guy used a jalapeno. coconut oil is lube. Guys, across the board,

keep jalapinos out of your vagina. And if someone has been making the food with jalapinos in the last 48, do not let them touch you. Anything with Capsason, just keep it away from, again, the gaping hole inside of your body cavity. But this girl, she wrote in that her partner, they had been cooking with jalapinos.

And I had a situation where my hands just started burning and it was terrible. It was over Christmas. I'd to pee on them. It's what it is. But, like, his hands weren't burning, so they had forgotten. And he had cooked with jalapino's hours earlier. And he stuck his fingers up there. And she immediately just started, like, to cry.

And they had to, you know. I would love to see this happen to you. Because you're so expressive. So dramatic. You're very effusive about things. Made me get out of an Uber on the highway. Do you want to talk about it? We took an Uber in Melbourne.

No, we took an Uber in Brisbane. And it was of all. all the ubers I've been in that have smelled, it was the worst. I thought Hatchelie was going to faint. I thought I was fainting him. I was getting lightheaded. We should have gotten out the moment. We got in because we had a 25-minute car ride.

And it was raining out. So I had my head hanging out the window until I was soaked. And because Raina's text to me, she's like, breathe out the window. I'm like, I'm a fucking dog. My head's out the window. I got to a point where I was like, I am going to throw up. And we got, we had five minutes left in the car. Couldn't take it.

We got out of the highway. So I can't express this enough. If you're a man, you have jalapinis on your fingers, do not stick them inside of Ashley. Or anybody. She will leave whatever sexual situation no matter where you guys are. Ruin your life. Sometimes it's a mistake.

You don't know. Oh, let's go into these. Since we were talking about grooming and ingrown hair's nipple hair, I have like one every, I don't know, every year or so I see it. I just grab it with a razor. If you have an excessive amount of nipple hair and you really are self-conscious about it, which I can understand. I want to validate that clearly. Again, I'm sure plenty of men would never mind, but if you are self-conscious about it, like, that is the easiest place to get lasered because it's such a

small area. I think it's really sensitive and it probably hurts more than your legs, for example, but those are so easy to get, you know, like there's very few of them. But I mean, if you have a hairy chest, like do what makes you feel comfortable, but plenty of people get waxed and get sugared there, just like men do. They get their chest and their back waxed and you can get that waxed and sugared while you're in there doing it anyway. way and you can shave them. Yeah, I've one, okay, I have one black hair that pops out on my right nipple.

It's my favorite thing when I see her and I just pluck it out. But you pluck it. Yeah, I'm plucking. But I know tons of girls that get laser. It's normal. It's super, look, there's only places on your whole body. You don't grow hair and that's the hands and the palms of your hands and your feet. Everywhere else there's fucking hair. Right.

Bodies are gross, guys. They smell and there's hair. Okay. Just do what you need to do to make yourselves feel better. Right. I wish the one hair would get longer. There'd be more. It's my one black hair.

On your bottom, you want your nipple hair to grow. I want my one black nipple hair to just be there all the time. You want it to be there? It's just, and I don't know. You have a name for it? Because it's a new one every time. I pull it out like at the follicle and I just, and it's never short. I don't know why.

Every time I notice it, it's 10 feet long. Like, it never has a growth pete. It's just like, poo for here. I love it so much. I was looking for it the other day and it's just not there. Yeah. You guys love your body hair. I love it.

Embrace that long black niple hair. I mean, I pray for it to come back every three months. I'm going to plug it on Instagram for us. Guys, we're going to start giving me. quarterly updates on Raina's nipple hair. One single nipple hair. And honestly, I just think, like, women are so obsessed with, like, making their body. Men are gross.

Men are gross. Their dicks smell all the time, okay? Yeah. I was somebody who took his pants off the other day, and it smelled. We were walking around all night long. He was sweaty. And I did not. I did not love it.

Fuck it. Dick smells is on the outline. Let's talk about it. Dick smells. I don't know what else to say. I didn't tell you to wash your dick. I just, like, I, like, went right for the blow job. And I was like, oh, oh, no.

I don't know. I can't turn back. You can't, you can always turn back. I didn't, though, because I'm a champion. But I was like, okay, I'm just going to suck the smell off of it. Rita! I'm going to clean this for you. I hate you.

I mean, that's disgusting, but that is, I guess, essentially what I did. I mean, I know he showered before we went out, which is hot. We were walking around all night. I just think we, you know, again, like, we can say this. We're in our 30s. We've been through it all at this point. sexually. So I want to be clear that I know a lot of stuff is harder when you're in your 20s. It was for us.

It's harder to communicate this stuff. You're more embarrassed about your body and things like that. So hopefully podcasts like this and other things are helping you become less embarrassed and own your body more. But if you go down there and it smells because the guy was like, you know, working all day. He isn't showered in a while. Don't be afraid to be like, oh, I'm good. And I told my ex, like,

he bartended. You know, he was on his feet a lot. You get a little gamey down there. And I enjoyed sucking his dick, but he needed to shower within before he, like, not Brach, not out of the shower, you get a blow job, but like not right after work. I wouldn't suck his dick. I just, and I wouldn't expect him to go down to me after I'd been on my feet running around. Totally. I mean, body smell.

And I'm glad that you brought that up to. I do think I was much more hesitant to talk about these things, think about these, even acknowledge, I would never admit it ever that I had a nipple hair. And it's like, who cares? Everybody has this stuff. But I think in my early 20s, through my 20s, I just didn't know that this was like normal. Yeah.

And it like scared me to like admit that to people. The way that like masturbating scared me to admit to people in college. Like yeah. You just don't know that other people are doing this shit. Yeah. But everybody's body smells. But yeah, but you, if there's a guy that's like really ranked down there, I mean, guys want blow jobs.

They want to have sex. Like you tell them in a kind way. Like, hey, like you hop in the shower with them. Like lead them. by example, you know, like, they want it. Say what you need to say in a kind way. They'll do it. I like that you invented a sexy way to go get in the shower to go together.

Somebody's dicks mouths and you're like, let's just get the shower together. Yeah. I love that. Get them in there together. Get wet together. If guys, like, they have a good sense of this happens, then this happens. Like, they're good at like correlation and things like that. So if they're like, wait a minute, every time I shower, I get a blowjob.

You know what I mean? Like, it's a Pavlov. It's like Pavlov. It's like Pavlov. Yeah. Like so as soon as they get out of the shower, grab their dick and blow the shit out of it. And then they will realize they will correlate the shower with the blowjob.

This is like electrocuting mice. Met are stupid. I don't know what to say about Funky Spunk. Remember the Sex and the City episode. I mean, it's just, I mean, it's diet. Yeah. I mean, there's, again, just Google it, look it up. I don't know to say about it either.

Like, I do think it's like really, depends on whom I'm dating. like I will swallow sometimes after I, like, blow somebody, depends on what mood I'm in. I think it's like sexy to some guys. Other guys don't care at all. I had a guy tell me recently. Like the girl that I married I know is going to like always like swallow my cum no matter what. And I was like, okay, well, that's fucking weird.

I don't know why you need that. I'm going to do it when I feel like it. But yeah, I mean, just Google some dietary stuff. I'm assuming I've never come into contact with a lot of cum that smells terrible. So I'm assuming it's a little rare. I think it's rare. I think it's rare. We didn't get even one thing about it.

Yeah. Again, I think it was. the Sex and City episode. I think it's super rare. Google it. Yeah. No one even asked. I don't know why I said it. No one asked. But I will say find comfort in the fact that everybody asked all of these questions a million times over. So it happens to Hollya. All right. I have some thoughts on this, but Ray, no one to discuss it. And I'm going to tell you my thoughts. But why don't you talk about toilet paper remains in your vagina? This came up a lot and you said you experience it. I just, I know that I do. Because

Like, I, I mean, I'm fishing around down there kind of often. And every once in a while, like, find a piece of toilet paper. It's normal. I go to the bathroom. I wipe after the bathroom. Ashley has some feelings about it. But now I'm just, listen, if you are insecure about the smell or you think there's toilet paper in there, go like wash your vagina before sex a little bit.

Go into the bathroom and just use a wipe or something. Yeah, but you told me why it's happening. You're judging me so hard. I will not be accepting DMs about this. I'm going to say this up top. I use cheap, rough toilet paper. I don't want to fuck with Charmin. It's too thick.

It rubs off. I need a, I like AngelSoft is the softest all go, and that is cheap. I will use Scott. I will use industrial toilet paper. I will exfoliate it. Tissue paper. Tissue paper. I will get in there.

You wipe out your push paper. I don't care. I don't like Charmin. I don't like soft plush toilet paper. That's the shit you get that sticks to your vagina. Wait, well, I'm spending too much on toilet paper. I, the cattle have a toilet paper. I think I'm abnormal on this.

I think people love that soft, plush, Charmin level toilet paper. I never have. I like it a little rougher. I like a little bit of exfoliation down there. And I like to get what I'm down there to get. And I think when it's too soft, that's the two ply. It gets like really like it's like it just starts to like powder off a little bit. Like you know what I'm saying? It's like too flaky. It's too soft. It comes apart so easily. I know why. Because you're a prickly kid. You need you need your your toilet paper to be prickly too. You need to like abuse your vagina. You do it with your behole with the water. wash cloth and you really abuse your vagina. That's why you use tissue paper to watch a vagina.

Listen, my preference is AngelSoft. I want to test them all out and see what sticks to your vagina more. Angel Soft is, it's, I mean, it's soft. But it's that Charmin type that I know for a fact that's the kind that stick in your vagina. If you stick to like an Angel Soft or you go full Scott, not going to have this problem. I'm going to buy all three. I'm going to wipe my pussy for like three days with all three different ones and see which one has the little balls up pieces of paper. I can't believe it. All this time I've been using Charming because I thought it was the Cadillac of toilet paper. It's falling up in my butt. It's not for me. Everybody's different.

Do not DM me or shame me for this. If you love Charmin and the way it feels, you keep doing you. This is me personally. But also, we want to normalize this. So many of you said I had a situation where a guy went down to me or there was a little bit of toilet paper. He like pulled it out.

Like, it's funny. It's, you know, hopefully you're having sex with somebody that you do trust and it's not going to body shame you for any of this stuff. So don't worry about it. We've all been there. We've all had embarrassing moments. It's fine. It's normal. Don't worry about it. I'm just laughing. I'm just laughing. Like, the person I'm going to date is going to make fun of me about this. But not in like a shaming way. No, they're going to like, a cute roasting way. We're going to have like a hilarious roast of me. Because there's toilet paper of my pussy. That's my love language.

Okay. I think that's a good place to wrap up. I think we covered a lot of gross, but Everyday things. Yeah. The takeaway is it's all normal. Just do it makes you feel good. Yeah. And so much of like the embarrassing stories, we're going to get into some specific favorites that we chose.

But so many of you guys have farted during sex. So many of you guys have dealt with poop stuff during anal. So many of you guys have a toilet paper remains in your vagina. Like it's all happened to all of us. Like it's so, so normal and nothing. It's funny. They're funny stories. And now you have a hilarious story to tell at brunch.

I love when this shit happens to me. You got more content. Start a podcast. I know. I had sex that guy. I couldn't wait to finish. I could just tell you about it. Yeah.

Yeah. Brunch content. So we're doing your most embarrassing sex stories when we asked for submissions on the Instagram. I just wrote, I was mortified. And I'm like, so that's the name.

You guys flooded our inbox. I was mortified. Do you want to start with these? I literally died. Do you want to start with these short ones? Sure. Let's run through the one-liners. I got to start with that.

That's my favorite one. Okay. Okay. These were the ones you guys submitted on our Instagram questions. this one was my personal favorite. In the middle of sex, he slapped my ass so hard, and a guy in the next room told us to shut up. I feel like if this happened, I wouldn't know either like masturbate or complain, but I'd probably do both in that order.

I'm also like, what room? Were we in a hotel? Hostile. Is this a roommate situation? You're in a hostel. This resonated me so hard because I love getting my ass lapped. And I just, the thought of somebody going, shut up! It's so funny to me.

How hard is that guy hitting you? And how thin are those walls? I had like a welt on my ass on Valentine's Day. That's your Valentine's Day game? Like I almost was like, some girls like chocolates, you like bruises. Okay, this made me laugh. I yacked during a BJ after clam chowder for dinner.

He deserved it, but I felt bad at the time. Information on why he deserved it. I need to know what he did to you. Also like clam chowder, like was it New England or what's the other one? Manhattan. Would you rather? I would rather than Manhattan. Is that the creamy white?

No. New England is creamy white. I feel like this guy was like, did I just come? Yeah, matches the cum. Yeah, there's chunks. There's chunks in the cum. Jeremy's so uncomfortable. Nice a nice potato.

Okay. Why did this one like, I don't know what. Oh, I know what this made me think of you. Okay, we'll get to it. No spoilers. Okay. She writes, he had his socks, pants, shirt, sweatshirt, puff coat, and beanie on.

I was butt naked. No. Who is coming to sex with a puffy coat on? You just wear your puffy coat everywhere you go. Like, bitch, were you playing strip poker? How did this happen? How? My only thing is that, all right, I'll tell you how.

It's that he, she was naked already at home, and this is her man, and he came in and they just went at it. But, like, he had on his pants, like, and his jacket and his beanie. He just pulled his dick out of, like, the dick hole and fucked this naked girl. with a puppy coat and a beanie. Okay, I'll tell you, here's my hypothesis. Okay, I'm on the couch the other night. I'm hooking up. I'm on top.

He took my shirt and my bra off. And then I was like, okay, I'm not, my couches are white, okay? No body parts can touch me. Oh, I don't fuck on this couch. And so, absolutely not. We can't. I would die. And so we walked into my bedroom.

I have no clothes on the tops. Then I lay on my back. And then he takes off my pants and my underpants. And I was, like, fully naked. He just had his shirt off. But that's not even comparable. Like, the jacket and hat. Maybe they just came in from shoveling.

But how did she get naked? And she didn't she even take his beanie off? I also think you need to step your four playups, sis. I took my beanie off for this. Jesus. It's amazing. Okay. Okay.

His chest on my boobs made a farting noise. I started laughing so hard. I actually farted. Listen, I feel you. I have been making farting noises. My shoes all week. It's so embarrassing. Every time I see a hot guy, my shoes.

Your shoes quieve. Yes, they queve my left one more than my right one. That is so funny. You're like on top of your man. You accidentally fart. All right. This one, she clarified in college. That made me feel better about like the, you know, the male gender. I told my ex to rub my clit and he said he wasn't comfortable with butt stuff. What? I am shook. I thought that was like a joke that man like couldn't find the clit. Like you think there's some men that like really don't know what a clit is. I think, like, yeah, probably like a 19-year-old guy, would maybe doesn't know.

It's that bean that's protruding from my vagina. See, ladies, the bigger clit, the easier it is to find. Embrace it. Chubby vagina, can't stress it or not. Okay, and then we have your sex stories. These are so good. Okay. I'll just kick it off.

I was having sex with my ex-boyfriend. We were using a small vibrating finger ring. He's an extra reason because the vibrating small battery broke out of the ring and instead of discontinuing the use of the sex toy, my dumbass ex continued to use the small vibrating battery. Suddenly, after some use, he came up and said, I lost it. Oh, my God, it's not like a word you ever want to hear. What is it that you lost?

I replied, confused. Then suddenly I realized my insides were still vibrating and screamed in horror. I felt it all the way in my stomach. I had to run to the bathroom, sit caveman style with my feet on the bowl, and gave birth to my little vibrating battery, all that went through my head was how I had to explain to the staff in the emergency room what had happened. Oh my God. This happens all the time.

People get stuff lost to them. I mean, I can't stress this enough. If you were sticking something in somebody, there has to be an anchor at the bottom. Yeah. Like I have a bunch of vibrators and they're like the size of a lipstick tube. That's not going in a butt because that will go in the butt.

It'll suck it right up. That is terror. The phrase I lost it is not something I ever wanted to do that bad. But it happens. She did the right thing. She did exactly what you did. She went to- Bear down.

Yeah, she went and did the squatty-potty pose. Okay. So she writes, so here's my really embarrassing sexual experience. This one's kind of gross. Strap in, but, you know, we want to normalize this stuff. My fiance and I were in Florida

for a vacation, having great sex in our condo overlooking the beach. I was on top and suddenly smelled something horrific that stopped me in my tracks. My fiance looks at me and says, uh, did you poop?

Unfortunately, I did. I shit right in my fiance's dick and balls. I was mortified. I have irritable bowel syndrome. So sometimes this shit just creeps up. on me out of nowhere or falls out of my ass during sex. Cool, right? Anyways, I made him lay there with his eyes closed while I cleaned him and myself up. Then we hopped in the shower. It was so embarrassing. But thankfully, I have the most amazing forgiving and understanding fiance in the

world. I'm so glad he still loves me in my horrendous digestive system. Ha ha. We get married in March of next year. Hopefully I don't shit on him on our wedding night. I don't, I don't know who's like the bigger hero, him or her. I just like, like, I love that you said this. I want to like, I want to go back to this. Men are gross. They take pictures of their shit and send it to each other on their Snapchat. They are gross. This stuff shouldn't really turn them off. Boys are gross. They have been since we were children. Like,

this stuff shouldn't phase them. It sounds like she found somebody that doesn't phase it. I just, I think that like, we'll joke. This is like true love to me to find somebody that can like deal with the fact that you've done this and is like, we'll keep talking to the shower. Yeah. If a guy is into you,

so little will scare them off that's bodily related. I truly believe that. I know no story of a guy that was freaked out by something that a girl did bodily related. It's just, it's... Or all he wanted from you was sex. And once he can't look at you sexually anymore

because of something you did, then he gets rid of you, but that guy doesn't want to date you. Or it's his excuse to end it anyway that he was going to for some other reason, you know? Right. Right. I've done so... I've puked on my boyfriend's dick before. Good for you. Break up with me? Good for you, girl. He deserved it too. Look at that clam chowder up.

It was breakfast. And he He fucking deserved it. Okay. I waited until I was 23 to lose my virginity because I wanted to be quote unquote special. Ended up having a one night stand with a friend of a friend after a night of a lot of drinking. When we were having sex, I accidentally farted,

still think about it and cringe eight years later. I guess he broke my hymen tube because I bled all over the sheets in the night. I got out of there before you woke up and I wrote a note saying sorry for the mess on an envelope I found on his desk and put it over the sheet stains to top it all off.

We didn't use protection. So I had to go get plan B. I ended up getting a raging UTI because I didn't get up to pee after sex. I learned all the lessons that night. So I'm in our mutual friend's wedding a few years ago and pretended I didn't know him. What a trauma. This girl went through. Literally all the lessons.

In her first time. First time. She had to write a note. Imagine writing a note. Sorry for the mess. You stick it on the blood. You're like, bye. Also, guys, again, not a doctor.

Always pee after sex if you can. It is the number one thing you can do to try to prevent anything from happening. I've never not gotten up. I mean, I guess if I'm going to fuck again in like a minute or two. Someone asked, do you need to pee after you masturbate? I'm going to say no, but wipe your vagina if you're wet. Like, I get wet if I masturbate. I just get a tissue.

I don't need to pee. It's my own bodily fluid. It came out of me. I think because there's like something going in and out of your vagina continuously and then a lot of times there's semen that's going inside of vagina. That's why you pee because like that in and out causes a lot of bacteria. Yes. So maybe if you're masturbating with a vibrator. Maybe.

Yeah, a dildo. Jamming it. A dildo, not just a vibrator. I might use it. Okay. I'm going to read this one. Rainier and, Raina's going to read the very last one.

This one was in the Facebook group. She posted this on the page. I love it. Okay. There's just a lot of layers to this one. But backstory. I've been sexting, texting, texting, making out with this guy for a few. weeks. Tonight, oh, she wrote this the day it happened. I love this. She had to really share

her truth to 18,000 girls in the group. Tonight, on a Wednesday, I decided I wanted to finally hang out with him and have sex. He lives with his parents and I've been super nervous to go to his house in fear of running into them, but he assured me that once they go to sleep, it would be safe to hook up. So I get there, everything's fine at first. We're in his room hooking up. He goes down to me and it was amazing. I go down on him and he's only like halfway hard. And I was giving a grade A porn star blowy. I'm thinking, okay, maybe he's just nervous. He finally starts to get hard so I tell him I want him to fuck me but he needs to wear a condom. He struggles for like five minutes to get the condom on grow up and then fucked me with a half chub for about 47 seconds before ripping it

off and asking me if I came, which I certainly did not. I'm left confused, sexually frustrated, and realize I have to pee. I throw on one of his t-shirts and make my way to the bathroom. I get all the way into the bathroom before I realize his dad is sitting on the toilet in the dark taking a shit. Holy shit. His dad quietly says, no, no, no, no. And I practically swaned-dive out to the hallway. My biggest fear was his parents walking in us fucking little did I know we would barely fuck and I practically sat on his dad's lap while he was taking a dub.

Mind you, this is my first time having sex since I've been single and I was really looking forward to a great night. I'll probably save myself for marriage now. And she did my favorite emoji that like really fucked up face, the squiggle smile. Wait, my favorite thing about this whole. whole story is that the dad only whispered no just in case she was into it. He's like, I'm going to test the water now. He's like, he's like, no, no. Like, so they're like, let the record show that I said no, but if she's into it, she can sit.

You are such a creep. He probably doesn't want to wake his wife up. Of course you think the dad wants to fuck her. In my mind, it's a bachelor pad. There's no mom living there. I don't think the dad's going to cheat on the mom. She said parents. He lives with his parents. you're just a fucking creep. Okay, I'm saving this last one for you to read. This is a dad one as well. This one goes out to Bill Greenberg. You are like dad stuff.

I got to live my truth. Calls me daddy the other day. Anyways. Actually, she was like, huh, please stop. Nervous laughter. My,

oh, even the first sentence, I'm upset. My dad is a key to my house because he often comes over to check the dogs, etc. I'm already upset. A few months ago, I had brought a dude from Hinge home one night. The next morning we were fooling around and my dad comes over unannounced

and walks in on me, butt-ass naked on all fours, giving the dude a blow job. I was on top of the sheets on my bed, so there was literally no time to react and pull anything over me. There was nothing to save me. My dad saw everything.

He freaked, shut the door, and ran out. The guy looked at me and said, I think I just locked eyes with your dad. And I said, yeah, well, I think my dad just locked out as with my butthole. So I think I have bigger issues. Keep in mind, I'm 32 years old. 32.

This should not be happening to women our age. I would never recover. I mean, 32, she's in our age range. If my dad saw me on all fours giving a blowjob, I would. would divorce the family. Actually, I would never recover if that happened to you. Like, I would have post-traumatic stress from you. The thought of it makes me like, I feel physically ill. The sentence my dad locked eyes with my butthole is the worst. Over two years of episodes, it's my favorite thing I've ever said. I love this girl. She's like, our age, the guy, the fact that

the guy, I want to know if she's still with him. I'm like, I think I want to do a where are they now. Because I love that the guy goes, I think I just locked eyes with your dad. And she's like, oh yeah, motherfucker. My dad just looked into my butthole. They can't be. Can you imagine you can't not. The only thing worse than I'm having is bringing that guy home for Christmas. It's fine that my dad knows that I fuck.

But he doesn't need to see it with his own. He doesn't need to lock eyes with my brown eye. But the only thing is that like she doesn't have a family anymore. So this guy is all she. I'll tell you what, his family better. never catch them having sex because then neither them will have a family. They'll be orphaned. I'm going to place

a bet right now. I hope I'm right. I think they're still together. I think an experience like that bonds you forever. It's like going through cancer. She doesn't have a dad anymore. She needs a man in her life. He's her dad and her boyfriend now. Sat through this whole thing, not cracked a smile.

Was this funny for you? He's probably trying not to laugh to be uncomfortable. Are you upset? I'm trying not to ruin the podcast. Right. Yeah. You do great, sweetie. You're doing great, sweetie. And as a payment for this, guys, go follow him at brunch boys on Instagram. Do you want Jeremy Jacob Woods to or just brunch boys?

Both. Guys do both. Double team him. It's a great food account. It's the best food account. I will say this, not just because you're in the room. I feel like half of my saved posts on Instagram or your posts. Like, the way that you present food in video form is like second to none.

And I feel like it's not stuff that I can. go out and get and I get upset. But you travel around the world doing this. But like, I see it. And I'm like, I want it right now. And then it's not in New York. But yeah, but it's probably in one of your cities, you guys. So, I mean, where have you been recently? Well, I mostly just go around where you guys go. Ashley, yeah, Jeremy just comes through. Oh, Jeremy's on tour with us. That's true. Jeremy came to Boston with us. He was in L.A. with us. Did you do Minneapolis? Food stuff? I actually not years ago. Miami's most recent. Hopefully you'll come with us to Philly in April. Oh, L.A. Yeah. Yeah. But his food stuff.

guys. I don't know anybody else doing it like Jeremy. He worked at the Food Network. So he's got all those vid skills. That's what he's doing here today with us. Check him out. Thank you guys for listening. This has been a really fun episode for me. New favorite episode alert.

I haven't asked it a while. I would love you guys to go leave a review and a rating on our iTunes. A nice one. So I haven't asked it a long time. Leave an inside joke. Who cares? Yeah, whatever. My dad's on my beehole.

Whatever you guys want to write. My dad locked eyes with my brown eye. We're rating and we will, we're going to keep you updated on any coronavirus stuff that we know about. And then Ashley's going to take us out. Yeah, guys, just if you need updates on this stuff and you're coming to our live shows, hopefully you are. Instagram probably is first. Girls Gottee Podcast is our Instagram, Raina, Greeneberg, Ash Hess, we're posted on the Facebook.

We'll talk, we will do everything we can to get the word out if anything should change. But right now it is just Texas. We will tell you those new dates. As soon as we have them, it is our number one priority to reschedule these shows. Hold on to your tickets. You have tickets for the shows when they are rescheduled. Girls Got Eat Podcast.com. Girls underscore Got Eat on Twitter.

The announcements will be there too. We'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.