Girls Gotta Eat - Performative Males and Black Cat Boyfriends with Alec Flynn

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

We have a fun one for you! Comedian Alec Flynn joins us to talk about The Performative Male (Are they a red flag? Is there a spectrum? How do you spot the "bad ones"?) as well as Black Cat Boyfriends vs. Golden Retriever Boyfriends. We also break down an email from a male listener about why he's having trouble dating and offer advice for how to build confidence, and we discuss the notion that men have disappeared from the social and/or dating scenes and why. Other topics include: Leg tattoos, conspiracy theories about gambling, and panda diplomacy (we learned something new). Before Alec joins us, we're talking about green flags in guys – everything from how they treat animals to drinking habits to what kind of music they like. Enjoy! Follow Alec on Instagram at @bigalflynn, check out his podcast Big Al's Grill ASMR, and get tickets to his shows at https://punchup.live/alecflynn. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for LIVE SHOW TICKETS and more! Thank you to our partners this week: Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at http://article.com/gge. Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/gge. Function: Our first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward your membership at https://functionhealth.com/gge or use code GGE100. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at https://nutrafol.com with code GGE10. Hungry Root: Get 40% off your first box and free item in every box for life at https://hungryroot.com/gge with code GGE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We got to talk about the performative male. I have a tote. Listen, I got a tote. I got like tattoos. I may or may not read some Joan Didion here and there, but I got to say this right now. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Welcome back to their episode of Girls Got to Eat.

Big day. Tickets are on sale for the holiday show. Girls got to eat holiday spectacular. Two nights only. Two night stand. L.A., New York. That is it. We haven't been on tour this year, but we'd never leave you hang.

for the holiday shows. So they are on sale today, 10 a.m. local time at Girls Gotta eat.com. LA, we will see you on December 6th. Saturday night. New York, we will see you December 13th. Saturday night. Our biggest shows ever are the holiday shows.

We love them. They're wild and crazy. You're going to be feral. Like, the vibes, that's the vibe. I'm, oh, them or me. I've been feral lately. Like, I just feel like, I mean, I think we both will be. But, like, we haven't done this in so long.

Yes. So I don't even know what's going to happen. we got to talk after this about some things like it's happening in my life no the show okay this is the people we're booking okay who's running this shit things like that okay all right oh the logistics I think even have like my dating life we can talk about that too guys Raina says logistics logistics logistics don't play around now how do I say you always say lodge lodged you love to say logistice logistic you say costumes But let us know of the comments if you're a logistics or logistics.

So the logistics. Now you're saying it right because you've been caught. No, I say stuff. I say Vegas weird and I don't hear it. Like I hear what you're saying about logistics, but. Right. You've never said it correctly in your life and now that you've been put on blast. Vegas, I don't hear.

I don't hear that at all. Do you say legs? Legs. Legs. Okay. What do you say? Leagues? No, legs.

Like the people who say Vegas and legs, that's the same. How do you say Vegas? Vegas. People say like Vegas. I don't say like that. Vegas. Vegas. Like veg?

Lots Vegas. Like vegetable? Veg. Veg. Yeah. I say it like as an A. Bay. All right.

Anyway, guys, get those tickets, girls. Got eat.com. We cannot wait to see you. Yes. And bring your friends, most importantly. But bring your partners, your mom, your grandma. We've lots of people that bring their family. that travel for it. It's very funny. And we always do an outfit theme and we'll announce that soon

so you guys can get your looks ready. I will say Minneapolis last year, that grandma, first of all, I got like very emotional because I missed my grandma. But we brought that grandma on stage. Rina like Minneapolis last year was my favorite shows of the whole tour. It was the grandma and then Alex got engaged. Right. And it was just a perfect show, no notes. Was that the year that the manager of the venue, we found him on Bumble? You know that guy, that hot guy who ran the venue. Yeah, Clint. No, we talked about it.

No, we brought it up and then the show was like, I know him. Remember? We shared the story. Anyway, I have a Minneapolis update, but let's talk about our partners. All right, we'll thank our partners and then we'll get into it. Thank you to Quince. Get free shipping and 365 a day returns on your next order at quince.com. At GGE and article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.

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So just a quick personal announcement, I just decided to add another show to my tour because I'm just not busy enough. You know, like I am not. I've never seen you like this. I've never felt like this. I will say I told you I've like dug a hole I can't seem to dig myself out of. It's not a cute planning your wedding and your tour and your special all the same. I thought it was like such a baddie. And it started fine.

But now that we're in the thick of it like in the final stretch, it feels really overwhelming. and insurmountable and you have helped me so much. I'm just like so grateful for you and especially with vibes and things like that. Like I can't actually do all the things that I need to do with the tour and the special and the wedding and the two companies and my personal life and all the things. And so it has been a lot, but yeah, I was like, you know what? Why not have had another date? So I have coming to Minneapolis.

I posted this on my story. So if you follow me, you saw it. And there may or may not be tickets left by the time this runs, but I'm coming there on a Tuesday. October 7th and doing Acme Comedy Club, which is one of the most renowned clubs in the country. And we never did it. We went right to the Fillmore when we started performing there. So we've never been there. And I'm so thrilled to be there.

And I can't wait to see you guys. And I hope you come out on Tuesday. So if there are tickets still available, they will be at ashess.com. And then right after that, I head to New York to film my special on the 11th. Still probably some tickets left for that. And then I have a few tickets left for Philly, which is. September 24th this week as this episode airs. Yeah, so I will be in Philly Wednesday and Thursday this week. There are still some tickets available for Wednesday, Thursday is sold out. It's going to be

really fun. Corey and the girls are coming and I'm really excited. So I know. I wish you were going to be there. But Philly, I'll see you guys this week. Go Birds. And then Boston going to end the tour at the Wilbur. And that's it. It's so fun. I'm so excited. Yeah. As we, I'm about to set out this weekend, I will have just gotten back from San Francisco. And then it's just like the final stretch. Like I I can't believe it. I mean, I don't want to complain about being overwhelmed. I will look back on this year and feel really proud of everything that I was able to juggle. And after it's all said and done, and then I'm like, what is life even going to look like?

November 2nd is going to be crazy. It really is. I know. And I just, then it's, it's just going to be manageable. Like this feels. You're going to run vibes and I'm going to do nothing. Yeah. It's going to sit back.

I'm a little worried, actually. I'm a little worried about what happens when I get my time back. I actually am in. enjoying running five without you. You're crushing it. It's been really fun. We hired a new marketing company and we just, I really enjoy the content that I've been working on with them and I'm proud of it and it looks beautiful.

And I think, I have a testament to you, but like you and I are very collaborative on everything and it's very hard for either one of us to be like live and let live. And I think that really for the first time since I've been in business with you, I mean, our eight year anniversary is coming up. Like, this is the first time you've ever really sat back and been like hands up. I'm just going to throw my hands up to God. You do it. Yeah.

Like Jesus take the wheel. Raina take the wheel. And we have a great team. And I just, I really do appreciate, like, beyond words. And you said, you were like mid voice note the other day. And you said like the sweetest thing. You were just like, isn't great how we get along and do this in this way? And, you know, there's been times in the history of our career where I am like doing so much.

It feel, you know, we added the snack. Like a lot of that fell on me. And Raina is always like, whatever. you need, I got it. And there's been times when I like, it does feel like I have more on my plate and you recognize that. And this is a time when you're like, I'm going to have more on my plate significantly. You've really helped manage both of our workload. I think we divide and conquer really well. But yeah, I've been like, I can't work on vibes. And so we have a great team. It's not a ring a single handily running this company. It's a, you know, multi-million

dollar company and it's successful. And we have a lot of different like moving parts. But the social looks incredible. Everything looks incredible. It's all you. So you have taken some photos. You've gotten back into your photography era. All the photos. Do all the time. So check it out. You guys, we dropped these new products. I mean, don't give me any credit if you like it. It's been all Raina. Like really so much for the last like month or two. My fiance didn't even really know that. I was like, I haven't been working on vibes. He was like, what? And I was like, Raina's been doing all this. And he got like, I don't know. I don't want to say he got emotional. But he was like, wow, that's like really special what you guys have.

Well, thank you. I mean, it's just, it's fun. And I think that if you're in business with somebody long enough, you should hopefully be in business with somebody that you trust to just take the reins. And I think you like to be involved in everything and touch everything. I don't make major decisions without you. But I do like how everything it looks and I feel excited about it. We have some new products coming out.

And you have essentially let me move back to New York. So I don't really live in L.A. that much anymore. You're just always gone, which I appreciate. Last week, I think you were like, like, I'm headed, I'm into the airport. I was like, ma'am. So it was Thursday morning and I like woke up and I'd been home for like eight days. And I was talking to, I was having my coffee and I was talking to Brittany and I was like,

I don't really want to be here this weekend. She goes to go to the airport. And I was like, you know, that is a good idea. I will go to the airport. I was so happy for you. But I was like, so jealous. I was like, you're going to like some fashion week parties and doing all this stuff and seeing all of our friends.

And November 2nd, get your life back. Well, then I'm going to go on my little mini moon. Three days. I'll see you in November 5th. Okay. So we have a really fun episode. today. I mean, you really got to hand it to us on our range. I can just give us a compliment. No, I mean, and I think people say this as well. And it's just like you'll have someone like

Ingrid Clayton, who we had recently, and that was a much more serious episode. It was about a trauma response. And now we have Alec Flynn. He's a male comedian. And we just cut up and talk about all this stuff. And I don't know. It's just, it's interesting. And we know we can't please everybody all the time. But hopefully you guys appreciate the range. But like these two weeks back to back, It makes me laugh. Last week was trauma. And this week it's just men with tote bags. So I am so excited for you guys to hear his take on the performative mail.

It's really picking up steam. Trevor Wallace did a TikTok or a reel about the performative male. I mean, I told you when I was doing research for this episode, I mean, it was an overabundance of articles. It's every single person has like, everybody's jumping on this. Yeah, including us. So we had crowdsourced with you guys on Instagram a while back green flag. and like what a little more obscure green flags not just like he loves his family you know which is also a great green flag

that's the top of the list. So yeah, we crowdsourced some green flags and people took it seriously. We thought maybe that they would talk around but people took it really serious and I think people are excited to hype their partners which I think is cute. A lot of family stuff. Yeah. He calls his mom once a week, which I don't need it. Once a week I like. Once a day, don't like.

Once a week is a good amount of. Totally. Twice a week. Sure. Yeah. That's, it's every, every day is not for me. Wait, I have a question for you. Do you call your parents or do they call you?

I can't imagine a world in which my dad ever calls me. But I will, my mom and I, it's reciprocal. We're playing phone tag right now. I'm trying to get a hold of her. You know, she's so busy. She's playing nurse right now. That's what she's doing. To your dad.

Yeah. Do you want to give an update on your dad? Yeah, so I talked about my dad getting his hip replacement. It's still all good. I mean, he is in pain, of course, from a, a big. big surgery, but it's not the same pain he was in. He felt like immediate relief. Like this is soreness and the way that it should be. And he's obviously managing that. But it's like not the shooting pain down his leg that he was living with for who knows how long. So everything's great.

He's like ready to dance at the wedding. Oh yeah. Even though the doctor was like, do not fast dance. No, we're going to be dancing. Yeah. So I'm so excited for the hard launch of his hip at the wedding. My mom and I go back and forth. It's probably like 50-50. And then I'll call my dad for stuff like this, like to check in on him. Like my dad and I don't talk like you and your dad talk. But so I asked you because yesterday my dad goes, I was going to call. I called him. He said, I was going to call you day and I was like, why?

And he goes, I was thinking about you. And I was like, this is a one way phone call relationship. Oh, you only call him. I only call him. I only call him probably twice a week. We talk for a long time. I come during my walks. We'll talk for like 40 minutes.

My dad just like wants a whole business meeting roundup on like every one of our advertisers, how vibes is doing everything. I don't think he's ever called me. Really? I did not know this. If I see his name pop up on my phone, I'm worried that somebody died. Totally. I did not know that.

I call him exclusively. My sister-in-law calls me. You're chasing him. Yeah. It's hard to get. I like unavailable men. Oh, no. It's all coming out.

My mom used to call me more and I think she just started to kind of maybe get a little frustrated that I was unavailable a lot. We were just busy. And so I think she leaves it up to me. And I think sometimes she'll hit me. with the text, like, hey, can you talk? I think just over the years when I was in my 20s, I probably talked to my mom every day,

probably multiple times a day. I mean, I feel like I was that meme of like, mom, I have to make a dentist appointment. What do I do? Like, we talked every day, and I really appreciate how she's let me grow. And I think she misses me sometimes. And you just, as your kids grow up and become more independent,

they don't need you as much. And we've had conversations about it over the years. And I think she is certainly happy with our relationship. And I want to make time for her and prioritize talking her and things like that. But it's certainly less for me. It was like every day in my 20s and it's like less in your 30s and even less now. And now I have my own family. Just kidding. But no, I just, I'm trying to, I've been trying to get a hold of her. I taste time with my nephew this morning. He's like standing up and like it's just so cute. He's mimicking sounds. I don't know if you

know what he's doing. But he like, he's like, he's not saying words, but like he's getting there. My brother says like Raina and he'll say like, he'll like sound out like Nana. Yeah. He's trying. That's cute. Love him so much. All right. All right. Well, we. can move on. But yeah, a lot of people brought up the big, what were even doing? Green flags. And I mean, obviously stuff about how people treat their family was really, really paramount. And how they treat their friends, animals, how they treat animals. Oh my God. Over and over and over and over. Animals was, animals was probably over above family. It's very telling. You should treat animals

better than your family. You're like, you could have family trauma. There's a backstory with your family. You know what I mean? Like if someone's like, they don't really get along with their or he doesn't really get along with his siblings or whatever. Like there's a story there. I mean, it could be a red flag, but you just don't know. Animals have done nothing to you. So if you treat them poorly, I mean, that's just jail. It's so weird to me when a man tells.

Like when a man just says, I just don't like animals, I've met two ever and one of them is just the most terrible. And one of them is pretty great, but it doesn't surprise me. Like, this is a guy that I like hooked up with and he was like, I'm just not, he didn't say like, I'm not a big animal. person. That's fine with me. If somebody's like, I like other people's pets, I don't need one in my home. But like somebody, a man just flat out, I just don't like animals. That's insane to me. I know. It's funny. I fiance asked me the other day, what if I didn't love a Zool like this? And I was like, I can't picture it. Like I haven't experienced that with a partner. I mean, with my ex was obsessed with Dewey.

They had their own relationship, you know, and the way that he is with Azul. I mean, he couldn't love him anymore. I, it would be tough if, because there's a world in which they like them and they'll take care of them and step in, but they don't like adore them and think of them as their own and dote on them. And it's just sometimes I feel like he like loves him more than me. Like if we're cooking dinner, he's like, did you set aside a shrimp for Azul? I'm like, I forgot to set aside this right.

Like he makes me feel like sometimes. Like he's like, did you dress? Get him still into his outfit? Like he has bought him so many bandanas. Like he really feels like a better appearance sometimes. I'm like, just relax. I've had him for so many years before you even came along. I'm a good mom.

He survived before you. Yeah. But it would be tough. If they were like indifferent. A lot of people like they clean up my dogs like poop for me. You know what it came up? And I thought like was really cute was he always wants to go on a walk with me when I walk the dog. And a friend of ours, who recently split from their partner said to me, like,

I walk the dog every night and he never wants to come with me. And I was like, I don't know, it made me like feel kind of emotional that like that is like, I think about like building intimacy with your partner and like like for play a little bit. And like how nice is it at the end of the day if somebody comes home was like, I would love to walk the dog with you. It sounds simple. But like this is an errand I have to do for us. I'd like you to come with me. It will turn me on. Yeah, I have so much to say. We in the summer when it was still light out after dinner and we were doing walks. I mean, it was just so lovely to be in the park with the dog after dinner. Like, it would be so weird for me to do that alone. And dividing up responsibilities with the pet

is huge too. Like, for me, like, this is my dog. He was here before you came along. But the way that we operate now and the way that I would hope any woman would operate with her partner would be like, it's our dog now. And we share responsibilities. I'm still covering the big medical cost, which I feel like is fair. Yeah. But, like the walking and stuff, like it's 50, 50 or ebbs and flows depends on our schedules and things like that. And obviously he's watched him this whole time when I've been on tour and he's not with me. Like I remember one couple I knew and we were at their apartment and we were going to head out

for the night. And I remember him saying as we walked out, like, don't forget to walk the dog when you get home. And my jaw drop. What? And I was like, you're staying in. Like, we're going out. Are his legs broken? Both of them?

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was like, that is crazy. Like, wouldn't you want to make her life a little easier? Like, we were like with some out of town friends. Like, it wasn't like a, every night we're going out and getting wasted and he's annoyed about that. It was just like a kind of a special night for the girls. And he was like, yeah, don't forget when you go to.

That's crazy. I was like, what the fuck am I hearing? I just, I do think that people just act better as they get older and little less selfish. And like, they're just a little more like, I would hope like, malleable and you act better. And the consequences of not acting nice are larger because you could really lose somebody who you see as a long-term partner. And I think when we're younger, we're just kind of assholes.

But an adult behaving like that is so weird to make. What are you doing? I mean, a guy that is going to wake up and walk your dog when you may not want to because you're hungover. It's raining. Various reasons. He does that for you. Huge green flag.

waving a bright green flag. It's so nice. I even think of guys I've dated in the past. I think of one guy I dated briefly and I remember one morning and we woke up and we'd been out the night before drinking and it was raining and he was like, I'll take Dewey out. I was like, and I'm going to blow you when you get back. A lot of acts of service came up and I think that like it should just be standard that like if your partner gets up in the morning before you, they should make you a coffee. Like it should be standard that if you have like a busy day, they make the bed. Like I do think these are green flags and it's great. But like, having somebody like share the workload at home with you and doing like little access

service should be the standard not just totally you know okay should we do hours and then read our listeners yeah okay so number one has a sister we both just forever always think that yeah so it came up too so has a sister and nothing too much of a hot take i mean cooks i don't want a guy that doesn't cook it's not a lot of people don't care i have just grown up with men who cook my dad my brother. It's not that I need you to cook for me. I also cook a lot. I've cooked every night this week. I just want you to want to do it. I like it. It's just food is something I really share with my partner. And I can't imagine being with somebody. So to me, like people that don't cook don't tend to care about food that much, right? Like if you're just like, I'll like the same thing every night.

It's like I'm not, that doesn't sound fun to me. I want somebody like in the kitchen with me. And yeah, cooking is important to me. Yeah, I love to cook together. I mean, there's some people that are super foodies that don't cook. I mean, they go out every night. I can't imagine it. My body would just, I wouldn't survive it. But that's, you know,

people do that too. Okay. And grills falls in, you got to learn, you got to be able to work a grill. Get out of here. If that's the only thing you can do,

I'm fine with it. Yeah. If you could just light the grill, just put a stake on it. Okay. Not that into porn. Oh, okay.

I just don't want to, you can't be into porn. It can't be like a personality trait. Not that into porn. Like my brother said to me the other day about friend is he was like big porn guy. No, no, no, no, no, no. No,

most my brother and his wife were both like yeah he's a big porn guy I was beer drinker and yes you can be a full-blown sloppy drunk on beer alone but I my fiance sticks to pretty much beer and I like it we don't get that drunk I love it he drives me around all the time yeah like I kind of like it I don't know I've we've just gotten into relationship where we just we drink moderately and I don't want to see him all drunk and I probably vice versa so you a guy that's like real whiskey drunk or he's just got wine teeth all the time we were at a wedding with a couple that has since broken up the celebrity couple if you will and we were observing them for the wedding and he was so wasted

he cleaned up his act after that but we observed him at this wedding and he was walking around with I don't know I fucking big gulp of red wine trying to find the bathroom he was in the kitchen he was stumbling around yelling at his girlfriend just purple mouth and Like I don't want it. Like you guys know that guy. You guys know that guy that will drink. You actually do know. You do know.

That will drink whatever. He's just down. He just wants to get fucked up. Well, that's also like an age thing to me. Like I at this age, people who get like really drunk, I see you like that one time. If I see you like that one time, it's a big red flag for me. Two times I have a problem. Yes.

And this is completely age in my 20s. I was drunk. He was drunk. Even him to my 30s. Like we were wasted all the time. And I'm not judging people. want to do that for fun and obviously people have real problems that they need to get help for don't get help i don't know that's your life but it's it's not for me yeah i'm not going to date those

people okay my final one i feel like this is my hottest take listens to women musical artists like your brother and likes them your brother he loves a ballad from a strong female artist my brother loves riana stay came on by riana and your brother was like humming the tune and he was like I love a strong female artist. Yes, we were a big fish grill. Ballad from a strong female artist. I remember where we were in that back booth, the big fish grill.

You would order to Coke heavy, I think. I think about it all the time. He ordered a captain and Coke that day. That's what the Coke I'm remembering. He ordered a captain and Coke. I was like, I fucking love Rihanna. Ashley's brother is like a six foot seven, six foot eight football player.

He's, I love a ballad from a strong female artist. I just, I love your brother so much. I just think there's a lot of guys out there that wouldn't really admit to liking, if you're my fiance, Lana Del Rey loves Lana Del Rey. He's in his Lana Del Rey era. I come home, he's playing summertime sadness. Like he loves Lana Del Rey.

Like I remember when he's, he's not like a huge Beyonce fan, but he has a ton of respect for her. And I remember the time he said lemonade was a no skips album. I was like, take your pants off. I remember when he said there was no skips. Yes, because I was in the group chat and we were going to Beyonce. And I was like, he just said this.

You guys are going to die. I remember where we were. We were in Seaport in Boston. And just to really be like in his top five or 10 artists are some women. And you might not see this. I mean, I don't think guys that leaned a little more misogynist or could admit to liking women's music. My ex who's the most masculine person I've ever met. He loves Taylor Swift.

Went to the air as tour. Hot. Cannot get enough of it. So hot. He mentioned Sabrina Carpenter to me the last day. That's not saying. This is so hot. You look at him and you're like, he.

looks like he lives in prison. Yes. So I don't know. I just like it. I mean, I'm trying to think of the alternative of a guy, like what he would even be listening to. Or honestly, a guy that's not that into music is a huge red flag and I would never. Some people aren't that in music. As I've gotten older, I just, I love live music so much. It wasn't like a thing for me in my 20s, but I think that's because also I just didn't mean money. Yeah. Like what was I going to? Right. Exactly. I don't like music. I don't like music. I don't like pets. It's not for me. Yeah. I, that guy that, that guy that, like I dated that had all the stuffed animals.

He was not that into music. But what he chose to play in his car was like house. And I'm like, if you're not that into it, can I take control of ox? This is a nightmare. I like people that remember small details, especially names of people that you've brought up. And just I know that not everybody has a good memory. Like I don't always have the best memory. But like when you have told a story about like a person and there's small details and they like recall it like a month later,

I'm just like, you really like clocked this like it was important to you. Yeah. Very small details matter to me. Okay. What else? Just coming home to gifts for no reason. I just, I thought of you. Even like small.

I just thought the snack was nice for you or like Uber eating you lunch to your office or something. Just like really small and expensive. Just I thought of you for no reason type of things. Remember is my food order. So I want to me to remember like, how do I take my coffee? What do I like on a sandwich? Like if you get me a sandwich and there's like peppers or onions on it and they're like,

just take it off. We're getting a divorce. I want you know what I like on my pizza, what my Chinese food order is. Totally. Just remember all that stuff. Oh, it's so, so hot. Always wants to split food.

You're hot to split food with me. Can you imagine? I love what your food related ones. Everything is food related, yes. Oh, this really hits different. I feel this so deeply, not feeling rushed around them. You would like that. I was like, rushed, can't relate because I'm my time.

I'm ready. I'm never right. I know. And I mean, I've always working on it and getting better. But I noticed this really early on with my fiancee that like I was going to us a little late for like a dinner reservation he made and he never once he would call the restaurant we're running behind like he never this isn't all the time but those few moments where I felt this tense like he's going to have at least an annoyed energy around him he didn't he was

always like so chill you need that yeah I have an annoyed energy about it somebody is more than 10 minutes late I have a pissed off energy that is it's yeah I don't I don't like that I mean especially like I try my best like to keep someone waiting at a restaurant for 10 minutes is is brutal. Okay. Yeah, you definitely need somebody like that. Doesn't speak poorly about their exes. I just always think that's like a good green flag. But anybody that tells you all their exes are crazy or a narcissist or whatever, just run away, run. Doesn't make a big thing about helping people. They just do it and they move on. They don't need to like tell you that they did this whole thing or like let everyone know. I like that. Yes, like they don't, they're not performatively doing good deeds so they can

brag about them. Yeah. Like if you see a man yelling at his girlfriend in the parking lot, put him in a headlock, put him asleep. Just go on with your day. You don't even tell anybody about it. Yeah, like helping old ladies, like stuff like that. Reading came up so much. Reading. I mean, number one guy hobby. This is really cute. But like, if you were to watch it happen, you'd be like, oh, a little weird.

Takes off my jewelry for me when I fall asleep with it on. Like, if I woke up and he was in my ears. Trying to get my lobster claw off my window. He's like, try to get my necklace off and be like, what the fuck? I actually tell. That is cute for you guys. But I don't want to be awoken. to him like on my neck taking my jewelry off.

I understand the sentiment of it, but I do think like, also how passed out am I that you are fiddling with a clasp and it doesn't wake me up? Also like I know he's going to fumble. You know, and then I get the ick. Can you imagine a man taking a necklace off the audacity of him to touch my jewelry on my body and then also fuck it up? It's also what if he, what if your fingers had swollen and he's trying to pull your rings off?

You're like, now this is, I'm embarrassed. I have to explain it in my salt intake. been woken up and I'm embarrassed. You could take my shoes off, but just leave my jewelry alone. I'll deal with the consequences. But they're not falling to see with their shoes off at 40 years old. You know, he always takes my jeans off when I black out and pass out, which also I think is cute for my 25-year-old self.

Yeah, it's cute in your 20s. Like, how fucked up am I in my 40s? If the jewelry girl can send some footage from the bedroom, I want to see this happening. Is he hunched over her? Like, I'm just picturing him, like, just so. Is it just like a big watch? Yeah. A big watch is easy to take.

A necklace and earrings is weird. Braclets. He's like unscrewing your cardiac bracelet. He's like, I'm just going to get this off. He gets out the screwdriver. Yeah, he takes the pliers on my permanent jewelry. He's like, I just figured you'd want this off. Like, am I being robbed?

You wake up, you're being robbed. You're like, am I Kim Kardashian in Paris? All right. The watch I can see. A big fat watch. just, you know, you don't want it to be all up in your sleep. That's cute. But the other stuff is, you know what, to each their own.

He doesn't want to look at you with that watch thing. All right, we can go through to do like a couple of things. No, that a fixed stuff. Vacuums has more than five things in the fridge. Low post count on Instagram. It doesn't follow a bunch of Instagram models. Yeah. All this stuff.

I mean, as it was coming up, I mean, again, I think I chose an incredible partner. I'm marrying him. But these things really spoke to me because they came up as we started to date. And we were long distance. And so I was clocking them subconsciously or consciously, like the vacuuming thing, like him cleaning up his apartment and knowing these things and he was cooking. And when I first went to his apartment, like seeing that he had what someone said more than five items in the fridge.

Like all this stuff, I think we're all always clocking it. Do you feel like I'm not in my 20s anymore or my 30s, obviously? Are men getting better because the information that women have not given them on TikTok? I feel like in our 20s, like, I don't know if men knew that they had to have more than five things in their fridge. Or if like they all these little things to me now, like it used to be like a hot take that they should do all these things. Like walk on the outside when you're walking on the street. Like I wonder if people are getting better. I think people are getting better and worse.

I think the disparity is growing in every which way. But at least they have the information so if they're not doing it, it is a real rejection of what somebody actually knows they should be doing. Right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Exactly. Like you should be knowing this stuff. Yeah. But again, like, we cannot bring up age enough. Like a guy in his 20s, like, I don't expect him to have a full fridge. I did it. I don't want to ask stuff of a partner or potential partner that I'm not doing myself. You know, I want to be the partner I'm looking for. So again, when we talk about the drinking or the cooking and stuff like that, like again, this just doesn't really apply my 20s. It was just kind of like, I don't know. Is he treat? be okay. Does he like to get fucked up? Is he 6-1? Yeah. Do we have the same drinking habits? Yeah. So, okay, well, we really like that you guys submitted these and shared with us. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I'm always. All right. There's a great episode ahead for you guys. I'm so excited. But we'll just thank a few of our partners and then we'll get right into it. I'm telling you guys about function. So we went hard on function on the snack. On Thursday,

you guys can listen back. We just are such fans of this and everything that they do. And we have chosen to use this. We've set up our appointments. We're excited to go and see all of the information about our health and all the data. And we really do believe in it. So this is a platform you guys are going to use. And inside a function, you get access to test over 100 plus biomarkers from your hormones to heart health, inflammation and stress, allergy, sensitivities, sexual health, cancer detection, all these things. And for an additional fee, you can also access MRI and CT scans, it's all going to be tracked in one secure place. So you're going to go to a quest diagnostics and do the blood work and they will take it from there. We also talked about how they will

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Get out of here. No, no, no. It's not your turn yet, but ladies, he is not single. I'm so sorry. I thought he was when I booked it. I know. We've been talking about this. And I apologize to our audience.

Honestly, you guys are about to get so horny, but keep your pussy in your pants, ladies. He is also the host, Big Al's Grill, A&MR. Please welcome to the show, Alec Flynn. Yes. Wow, what a, that's a sweet intro. Thank you so much. Not for your girlfriend so much. You say, hey, you heard her.

Keep him in the pants. No, we're fans of her. Yeah, we love her. She's the best. Shoutout, page. We didn't know we were, and then we were like, who is she? And then I was like, wait, I love her TikTok. Yeah. So I thought you were going to get, like, so much ass from this podcast.

Which, which now we know that's not why you wanted to come on. I wanted to come on because I love hanging out. To promote your tour. Oh, okay. And I want to promote the tour. Talk about your leg tattoos. I just wanted to talk about the leg tattoos. This is Lewis and Clark. I don't know which one's which. but um no i'm i'm glad this came up because i am recently like very sexually attracted to leg tattoos

like the more the like full leg sleeves i'm very okay like recently i've met somebody has two full leg sleeve tattoos and i just i'm really into it my fiance has a lot of like tattoos i love them i don't know if the sleeves are for me and i don't know if two full calves i'm into it calves is when you start getting into dangerous territory because you have to break the ice with a single calf tattoo And the calf tattoo on its own can look real bad. So I hooked up with this guy once and I didn't see his calf tattoos until he was leaving my apartment. With the back or the sign?

Both backs. But let me tell you what they were. They were two Baltimore mascots. Yeah. Had an Oriole. And a Raven. And a Raven. Yes.

I was like, wait, I just blacked out. Yes, he had the Oriole and the Raven. Okay. Would you rather the. the knees or the back of the cabs. Ooh, knees. I'm into knees. I got a knee spot right here.

Yeah, I know. And you did a circle like for the kneecap. Yeah, I was like, you got to just go for it at this point. A little on the nose, but. I got this little Mexican fella hanging out right here. Viva. You know me. Oh, I see what it is.

Did you get it in Mexico? No, I got it in L.A. during the protests. Oh, you did? Yeah, I was just like, well, I used to teach in Denver. Like, all my students were like first-gen, like Mexican-American. What did you teach? English. That's so cute.

Yeah, freshman English. Let me tell you. Were you a teacher before you were a comedian? Yeah, oh yeah. I was a teacher for like a year. Ladies, again, just keep in your pants. Everyone relax. He's liberal too.

Wait until you to find out when he pitched us as topics today. I want you to know that I can feel the liquids coming on the screen. Everyone relax. Stop jerking off, ladies. Stop jerking off. Yeah, so you're a liberal guy and you're... I don't even want liberal. I'd say like I'm borderline writing.

to blow up a pipeline at this point. Okay. So far left. Yeah. Borderline anarchist. But you're open, you're open about it. And, you know, a lot of comedians aren't. A lot of men aren't.

And you're not over the top. I think you're, in terms of what you post, I don't find it to be super inflammatory. You're just like, this shit is crazy. What the fuck is going on? And you're like on the right side of history. I just think it's like, as a lot, as a white guy and growing up as a white guy, it is very easy to just kind of rest on.

our laurels and just say like, hey, not my problem. Right. Not my issue. But, you know, I grew up like middle class. Like a lot of my friends grew up middle class, Boston, and it's, you know, when you see soldiers going into cities, when you see ice going into neighborhoods, it's just, you got to like, I'm a big reader. I like reading history.

It's like, this is how it starts. I just think that we are in a moment right now where if we are not careful and we do not say anything, our future will be mortgaged away from us. It's like you have a voice and you use it. We all do, you know, and so we just respect that about you. I appreciate that. Thanks, Ashley. But I mean, I'm also not an activist.

I want to just, I'm a comedian first and foremost. But I think, you know, part of the thing is something that's, if it's on your mind and it's something that you think about all the time, which I don't know how it's not, people aren't thinking about this administration, thinking about the direction this country's going in all the time. I have to talk about it on stage. I want to do it in a way that's fun. Like, I do a joke now where I talk about how Dr. Phil goes on the ice rates. You guys have seen these videos?

Adam Ray or Dr. Phil? No, the real Dr. Phil. Somebody else signed up to be. It's Adam Ray. Wait, what other actors signed up to be an ice agent? It's the former guy. Superman. Dean Kane.

But, yeah, Dr. Phil's on the ice rates. I've been watching the videos where Dr. Phil pops and he's going to detain you now. He goes, okay. And he goes, this guy just goes, you're Dr. Phil. He goes, how do you know that? He goes, I grew up in Temeculia. dude. I have eyes. I grew up here. I don't know what you mean. Okay, so this feels like a good way. We want to talk about performative male behavior today and you pitched us some...

You tricked me. You picked us some great articles. I'm like, where's your tote bag? Yeah. I do it. It's in my car. We got to talk about the performative male. I have a tote. Listen, I got a tote. I got like tattoos. I may or may not read some Joan Diddy in here and there. But I got to say this right now. God forbid a man create an inner life for himself. God literally God forbid a man developed confidence in a sense of style and then women are like trying too hard every guy I know wears a golf polo and hits me sometimes God forbid literally God forbid okay so I want to respond to that I have something is rebuttal no I think that the whole thing about performative

male behavior like I want to talk about what like what it is this has got this is like exploded. There's so many articles about this right now, and it's all about men that have, like, tote bags and looboos and wear shirts and say, like, the future is female. Can we leave libibibos out of this? It's all of it. Ah, Lubu's not, we need to catch a stray right now. No, the booboos are in it. And men that read, like, feminist books in public and drink macha. And I think the overriding, the overwhelming question for people is, you know, women have been saying for so long, we want men to, like, get in touch with their feelings and actually understand what we're going through. And is this genuine, or is this talk

masculinity dressed up in a different costume. And I, Ash and I both, we don't want to shoot in this because we really want men to listen to what women have been saying and actually have it not be performative. Right. Well, I think it goes both ways. What I find is the common thread is like the toxic masculinity thing, that is the bottom layer of just men, of some men in general. Like, you're just going to find out whether, like, it's a guy that, you know, likes to golf

or it's a guy that's, you know, writing a thesis on, like, why the labia is underlooked in the grand scheme of the Mons pubis. Whatever he's doing. Actually, clitoris is our clitoris. Please, let me finish. Sorry. Hey, shut up, bitch. He was like I was speaking.

We'll get back to you on your podcast, okay? Did I say you can start talking? Wait, I'm going to take my hand on the grill. That's the ASMR we're looking for. He just chokes me on the show. I think it's, I think that's just like, women are,

maybe they get more excited about like a guy that it seems as though he's in touch with his feelings when in reality, like they might just then like end up cheating or like, you know,

fucking them over. But like a guy who also golfs and like does fantasy football or, again, I'm just using broad stereotypes. Yeah. I think it's just when women get hurt, it's easy to look back

and be like, this fuck boy who doesn't have a, a bed frame and like, you know, listens to Claro. Like, yeah, of course.

see hurt me. It's like because that they all do. They're performing. It's like, I don't know. I just, I look at most guys who are, you know, maybe they got a tote bag here and there. Okay. Maybe they want to go to a snail mail concert. Shout out snail mail. They are kind of just branching out on their own in general. Like I just let them branch out. Let them discover a little bit about themselves. Yeah, 100%. And I think if it truly is a disguise and you truly are like this, the futurist female shirt is going to get me pussy. You're the worst. You know, like I'd rather have a guy who's open about who he is than that.

But I don't love the criticism. I think it's just like, do this. No, don't do this too much. Oh, you've ever corrected it up. Back it up. That's not good enough. Exactly. I think it's just, we do know one guy in particular,

and he's really the archetype of this, where it's like the toebags and the protests and all the things. And the therapy speak. Oh. But he's like, he really is like hurt so many women, woman after woman cheating, lying, all this. And so, but it's weird because I do know that he still believes in women's rights and minorities' rights and all those things.

But it's like this, there's this other side of like, you're not the person you claim to be. Well, I think he also does like, and it's the same archetype. The women say, like, men, they're using therapy speak on us now. There's a lot of TikTok advice that they've, like, taken and, like, weaponized against us. But I do, I don't want to, like, shit on men that are not at all. Genuinely trying.

And, you know, we have said to men, like, be different, be better, have interests, have hobbies, like, be allies to us. And so I don't want to shit on the ones that, like, actually are making the attempt to do that. What I think we got to look out for, ladies, is when you take out, sorry, I'm looking at the camera, take out your pen and paper. So it's just, if they're hitting every single checkmark of this guy, like, I would say, for me, I'm like, I got a thigh tattoos, okay? I wear a tote bag, sure.

maybe you got a lady's watch on. Wait, why do you do? I have that watch. Because I don't have a very big wrist. I don't have a very big wrist. Wait, and I'm wearing a men's watch. I'm wearing a men's watch. I'm wearing a men's watch.

I'm going to see what it feels like. There's some way real gender norms on this show and it's making me uncomfortable. I'm just kidding. Is this from Revolve? I have this watch. No, I got it in Janesville, Wisconsin. It was $3.

You want to wear mine? Sure. Watch switch. Here we go. He's like, it's too loose. This is heavy. How do you get anything done? Right now you're like, it's too tight.

It fits. Oh, that's cute. It is cute. I have this watch. Huh, that's not going to fit him. Try. I mean, I'm just in the middle of this. I was like,

why does it look so drug dealer on him? It does, doesn't it? This looks like a big, like, I got a DUI. My dad got me a golf card as a gift for finishing the classes. You should go next door. There's these like T-Moo Wolfel Wall Street guys that walk around in headsets talking about like by now is that like it's crazy they're doing 4x yeah okay so i think if you cross off every single thing of like the performative guide checklist then you should be suspicious yes because

i think it's like i mean i fucking i think macha is uh sci op personally what's the siop what is that i think it's a psychological operation by the CIA did you make that up sci op people say this people say that all the time is that it's bad yeah i i mancha's disgusting it's dirt no But scientific operations, it's like birds are fake. Yeah, psychological operation. Like birds? Yeah, they're trying to, they're trying to trick us. Okay, got it.

But, like, what is macho? Like, what is the purpose of it? Exactly. I think it's, I think, you know what the purpose is? I think what they're trying to do is like... You bring a conspiracy there on a show, Ashley? This isn't a conspiracy theory. He's like 9-11.

Was an inside job. Pandas are fake. But, like, I also like sports gambling. I also, I think sports gambling is a serious. I think sports gambling is a conspiracy theory. Yeah. I'll tell you why. I think it's a psychological operation by the government

to eliminate the gender wage. gap. That's what I think is going on. Wait, matches? I don't even understand that. No, sports gambling. Okay. I think they're trying to like literally, they're trying to level the playing field. Of what? Of like, they're going to be like, all right, men get this amount of income. Like, you know how women only make 80 cents on the dollar?

So you're saying if men are losing money gambling, that's leveling the playing field. Yes. I just feel like. Sports are rigged. Sports are, yeah. Okay. Sports to reg. Let's talk some,

I got off there. No, it's this ruins people's, like, day. It's not sports. Like, talking about sports being rigged. Yeah. Like, it's all out of Vegas. It's all. I watched the documentary yesterday about how in Russia,

they have, like, these sports farms, essentially, where people get paid by the day just to play, like, 30 games of soccer, like, throughout the day so that people can just gamble on it on, like, sports gambling apps. So you don't have to care about it at all. Do you know how fuck that is? Yeah. I mean, I mean,

I love sports, and I don't want to believe they are, but I just went to the Super Bowl in 2023 and that holding call at the end with the Eagles and the Chiefs. I was like, this is rigged, and you will not tell me otherwise. He's a big Eagles girl. Yeah. Eggles. Go birds.

Do you believe in pandas? Do you think pandas are real? You think Panthers are great? Sun bears are not real. Not only do I think pandas are real. You think pandas are real. You think pandas are real? You know what I love?

You guys ever heard of panda diplomacy? No. Pandas, so the Chinese are the only country that have pandas in the natural habitat. Okay. That's the only country where they had pan-in. Yeah. Oh, okay.

So usually panda diplomacy was used by the Chinese government throughout the 70s and into the early, into now, pretty much, for like kind of like a little frosting on top of the cake whenever they're doing an economic deal. So if they're going to China to say, like, hey, we're going to give you this money to build a railroad, but also here's our zoologist. Let's work out a panda. Pandas are the frosting. Yes. That's how we get pandas and zoos here.

And because of our relationship with China has been deteriorating, China's been asking for our... The panda's back. How many pandas are we having in the United States, though? We have three. How many? Three. Okay, is this going to make a real difference?

Give her the three back? Pandas drive, like, a majority of traffic. Zoo visits. I believe this. But, like, yeah, China's asking for all these pandas back. That's crazy. Because of, like, our bad relationship. But also...

We don't deserve them. We don't deserve them. Did you see that whole sun bear scandal? Yes, I did. That's insane. That's really funny. They really look like people. It's hard to believe that they're not people.

And like, is it China also? The country where they had to come out and be like, these are real bears, you guys, stop. Stop, borderline. Okay, where? Stop. So the performative male. I mean, I like this, I like this one quote.

This is from a Huff Post article. You know any performative male that's got China panda facts like this? No, we'll say this about you. You wouldn't say it about yourself, but you're basically saying like, I'm a dynamic person. I like sports and I like tattoos, but I also, you know, support women's rights and I have a tote bag in the car. Like I think it's just like be a little suss when it feels like someone went down a checklist

and they are like literally playing a character. But I love this quote in the Huff Post article and it says if the choice is between a man cosplaying feminism with a tote bag and a man clinging to outdated ideas of what real men should be, I know which one I'll take my chances with, which I think that's true. You summed up what I was saying perfectly. Just be dynamic in general. And I don't know, something I talk about on my show all the time is just, like, continue to learn. Like, I think reading is like a big thing.

Like, I love reading. I got in trouble a lot as a kid, so all I could do was just read in my room pretty much. So I just, it's like a thing that I literally just keep going. But, like, be curious and try new hobbies and interests. I think guys especially, I guess some people that are like former athletes growing up, when you are done with that sort of like, you know, team, rah, rah, I'm in high school. I'm in college doing this. Then it just becomes like, okay, now what is my weekend routine? What is the thing I do every night?

Is it just drinking or like a sports league? Like we need other hobbies. You need to be fulfilled and always be curious about the outside world. I agree. Be dynamic, like Ashley said. And I also, I don't think there's anything totally wrong with men saying like, I like women. I want to date women.

Going on TikTok and be like, what are women into? And then being like, let me try to understand this a little bit. Like, performative is a bad word. with this, like if it's a lie. But if the goal is just like, I want to see what they're up to so that we have something in common to talk about, then like, what's so wrong with that?

And you may look back, like, we all look back and be like, oh, I was so cringe, and I was like trying something and it maybe wasn't authentic to me in the moment. And then I figured it out and I, you know, met in the middle. Like, I overcorrected it a little bit. But we all do things when we're like trying to figure out who we are. But I wanted to read you this email

because it comes in to perfect. And this was from a guy. We don't get a lot of email. from guys, but I thought this was really nice and genuine, and this guy's 28, and he says, hi, my name is, I'm not going to read his name, but I'm 28 years old. I've never been in a relationship. I know what you're thinking, big red flag. Dating for me is the hardest thing ever, especially in Santa Barbara, California. I've probably been on only eight dates in my life. Some have been decent. I've only made it through a second date with two different people. These dates aren't hookups.

They're just meeting greets. I can't help but think the whole time as I'm meeting women. I'm crashing and burning the entire time. It's gotten to the point where I've kind of stopped trying to meet women because I fear that they all think I'm uninteresting. I want to meet that special someone for me. Do you have any words of advice? I'm starting to think that I'm destined to be alone. I'm certainly not a skeeby guy. Unlike all the guys talked about in your podcast, I put a lot of people's emotions before my own. I'm highly sensitive. I would think it would make me more desirable, but these women still seem like they're attracted to asshole douchebags. My friends tell me not to be an asshole. I can't even bring myself to do that. It's not in my nature.

I've been given the label, nice guy, quite a lot. What can I do to make dating better for me and for women. I find myself asking all the questions all the time because I'm afraid to talk too much about myself. Okay? What are your thoughts? Damn, that is... Shout out to whoever sent the email. Yeah, we're really aware. It's going to get better. Don't worry about it.

You're not going to be alone forever. You find somebody. First of all, first and foremost, remember that. Second of all, probably just take a break from, like, I mean, it doesn't seem like he's like actively going out and seeking dates. Damn, eight dates. Santa Barbara's also got to be... Santa Barbara's got to be kind of tough.

Barbara's going to be like a lot of women going out being like, I want someone that looks like my dad and thinks like him too. I looked him up and he is more of a blue-collared guy. Maybe he's running into women who want guys with more money. I mean, he seems like he's a respectable job. And like, I don't know. Like, I don't know this guy either. I really, I feel for this guy because it seems like he does want to like ask the questions.

And, you know, one of my things I picked up on from this is like, I think as we get older, we just like nicer guys. Ashley and I both have just gravitated towards better, more solid people as we've gotten older. I would maybe suggest dating a little older. So, like, I think that maybe you're dating women that are still in the bucket of like, thrill me, excite me,

reject me, be avoiding. You know, confuse me. And like, as I've gotten older, I just don't, I'm not like such a bad, bitch. I just, I get bored with that. I don't have patience for it. I don't think it's interesting or sexy in any way. I have two recommendations. Number one,

maybe just confidence. I think from what I'm gathering from the email, it's like you are doing the right things, but maybe they can, it's like almost with like stand-up. Like an audience can smell fear. Yes. Yes.

And desperation, which I think sometimes women, I'm like, I think you're giving off a desperate energy. And we have all been there. That's not like an insult. But like, we sense,

I think men sense the desperation the way that women sense the lack of confidence and insecurity. Yeah, like just be confident. And you know what? The best way to build up, that confidence, go to

the local bar, like, die bars in Santa, like Santa Barbara, get fucked up, just have a couple sloppy makeouts, I think. Just really, like, have a night where, like, you're at two, three makeout kills. And just kind of, like, get the wheels greased a little bit, if that makes sense. You know what?

Like, I'm not saying one night stands, but like, hey, single mother of three. Where'd how did this happen? Tammy, get over. Hey, she wants the seven and seven. I think that, that'll get you, that'll build up the confidence a little bit. Grease the wheels. But the thing that I latched on the most

in this email was him feeling like people think he's boring. And to your point, there's ways to not be boring. And read more. Like we, like, Tinks talks about this a lot of, like, we can all be more interesting. Read an article every day. Like, pick up

something, learn new information, pick up a new hobby or skill. If you're not, like, an athlete, then do something else. Like, I just think, if you think people, think you're boring. I really feel for those people. That's tough. It's tough to think that you might be a person who's like, everyone thinks I'm boring and I suck and I'm uninteresting. It's like, you can always be more interesting. You can always have more things to talk about and things to discuss and like women find that shit so hot. I read this morning a panty dropper. The hobby thing is

the big one. I think anybody that can find it like a like just so passion just to talk about ad nauseum. Yeah. I think it's huge. I just remember I was in Texas. This like guy like he was like, oh, dude, I'm fan of your stand-up. I'm like, oh, no way. I'm like eating breakfast tacos. This guy, he just starts talking about, like, how he surfs in Houston, Texas, next to the oil barges. And I go, oh, yeah, it's crazy to him palm trees down here.

He starts talking to me about all the different kinds of palm trees in United States. I go, what an interesting guy. Like, all that guy did was, like, read up on trees. Like, he just knew about trees. And he got a blowjob. Yes, exactly. He fucked Tammy. Yeah, exactly.

I fell for this guy when he says, I don't like talking. about myself. And when you don't talk about yourself, it's hard to build a connection with other people. People don't walk away feeling like they have a deeper knowledge of you. They understand you better. So having some interest in hobbies will lead to you wanting to talk about yourself more. We'll lead to a better connection with people. We'll lead to you fucking that mom. And I really always feel like being like an expert in the area you live in Santa Barbara, I mean, there's so much good food. There's so much good wine. There's some good shopping. The areas around there, there's so much cool stuff to do. Whether you like outdoor sports or

I don't know, pick a hobby. You can do it there. Become an expert. in your area. And so when you take a girl out, like say, have you ever been to X, Y, Z thing? Yeah. I love this thing. This is low lift stuff.

Like literally the internet is your friend. And I think we just solved this. I'm telling you once again, put up the makeout kills at the low, that is like putting up shots at the gym. It's literally low, no risk, like high reward.

The reward is just, just get some mojo. Okay. Once you get that mojo, that confidence, a little bit of Johnny Bravo, hey, I think it's going to, it's, the momentum. Momentum. Yes. Okay, we're just going to take a quick break and then we'll get right back into it with Alec. I'm telling you guys about article. I mean, you guys know I'm obsessed with home design, interior design. I absolutely love what article offers in terms of style. So when you go on their site, you'll see a huge range of different styles. I tend to lean more coastal because I live at the beach, but they have mid-century modern, coastal, Scandinavian inspired pieces. And then if you go on their site, if you feel like you don't really know how to like,

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So why don't you like dating apps and you haven't done them? Is it just not feel natural to you? Yeah, it doesn't feel natural. And I also don't like the idea of, like if you're messaging three different people on a dating app, it feels rude to me than to say, oh, I've really got a connection with this one person. The other two, hey, see ya.

Now you have no idea. Maybe they had the same connection with me. Maybe that's the nice guy thing. But I just, I feel like my attention is better spent dating somebody and being interested in one person at a time. Yeah, I agree with you. I think less than each their own. I think that you are able to be out in the world on a stage.

You're a handsome guy. Like, not everybody has access to all of these people all the time. You have a social media following. People can flatten your day. You know what I mean? Like, for some people that is their only option. And I actually think it's kind of nice dating a few people at once. When I say, like, I think people get a little wrapped up in like, what does that mean?

Dating a few people at once to me is like three dates or last. I'm not, I don't really see myself going on five, six dates with a person. Like, once I'm on a fourth or fifth date, I don't really have like a huge emotional capacity to be doing that with another person. person. Yeah. And then the other person on the other end is like, oh, I'm dating someone. And you're like, oh, I'm dating three other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So dating around to me is like several people that you've gone on like two, three dates with. And I think it keeps it easy for you to be like, okay, this is the thing I like about this person. And if one person kind of ghosts out a little bit, it hurts a little less. And I like that aspect of it. I know, because we've had these conversations where someone disappears or ghosts, which is just like the grossest behavior.

and we just have no patience for it. And if someone goes to you, it's a blessing, because you don't want to be with a person who would do that anyway. But we've said before, like, maybe their connection with someone else was just kind of further along. And it's not fair if you, like, fully thought you were dating.

Yeah. Five, six dates in. That's a lot. And their eight to ten dates with somebody else, and they just pick them and leave you hanging. It's just, it feels so unfair. To ten. I mean, I feel like by date, I'm a little withholding.

That's two months. That's a lot. I feel like I'm a little withholding the first couple dates. I'm not going to share certain things about my family or certainly like our business, my deep, dark thoughts. But like five dates in, I'm sharing at least some more intimate details of myself. And I mean, I'm obviously sleeping with you. We've been past one date.

Obviously, we're fucking. I don't know. Five dates, six dates with somebody. I don't, it's too much to juggle another person. When did you make it official with your girlfriend? Like did you guys casually? date a little bit or was it pretty early you were locked in? I was pretty early locked in.

Okay. It was nobody else. Right. So I was just, I was just focused on that. We made like official boyfriend, girlfriend, like, like, three months in. Oh. Yeah, is that soon?

It's long for her. I mean, let's think. I actually have, I have no, also, I have like no concept of time either. It does feel crazy. After two days, I think that's like, I think it was like July, so like, I think it's two months. I don't know. I honestly, I can't feel.

figure it out. That sounds about right. For most, three months is, listen, you go at your own pace, you know? But that's,

I think that's, I think that's normal. You do you. Yeah. We kiss once and I'm like, are you my boyfriend? Yeah, but I didn't mind.

I was ready to, I was ready to get after the third, I was like, I don't care. Okay. Well, we love that you're in a happy, healthy relationship.

Let's talk about the other men. Yeah. And we'll segue into where have all the men gone? Where have they gone? You have a lot of friends and a busy, Yeah, shout out my boys. Shout out Greenie, Curley, Turner,

treats, lawn, oles. This is the first time someone shouted out a list of people on the show. Anna, cut that. Yeah, that was. I'm kidding. That was so gross. Come on. The boys. They all listen. They all listen. No, they don't. You have one friend that listens. Do you want to actually shout out? Shout out Jarie! Okay. So, we've never had somebody shout out a list of people, a whole baseball team. So, that was a whole, yeah, it's a starting line. That's the starting line up for your hockey team.

Yeah. So has your life changed with the boys and with the activities since a, like, partner came into it? Like, do you, have you found it hard to balance or has it just been pretty natural? No. Okay. I think it's been pretty natural.

You know, I'm lucky because here in L.A., my childhood neighbor lives down the street for me here in L.A. And his cousin, who I went to high school with, lives in the same building as him. Okay. So we all just... Close proximity.

It's close proximity. So, I mean, we go to his place. We call up the clubhouse. We kind of hang out there. But for the most part of all. also just like working, you know, we're either at the store or like just doing spots. And what's, what's nice with, you know, my girlfriend is that she is also doing like stand up and like comedy related things. So we have a similar schedule. It all works out. I'm not like taking away time

out of anything. I don't really think. Okay. Because we find that sometimes guys disappear when they get into a relationship and they never really get those friendships back. I mean, it's just we talk about men just losing their friends as they get married and they get into serious relationships. There was a great podcast on The New York Times Daily a couple weeks ago based on an article in The New York Times and the names is giving me. It doesn't matter. But a couple weeks ago on Sunday, they do a modern love. And it was this guy who wrote an article about how after he kind of found his serious romantic

partner got married that like the male relationships in his life kind of dissipated and how it's kind of cyclical like men, you find a female partner and you're like, I get all these things from her. This is my buddy, my entertainment, my sex life. I can be vulnerable to this person. Why do I need other things? And he talks about how society doesn't also like really encourage that. We say men should have friends, but I like the way he spoke about it. I won't be able to say it as eloquently. But like when husbands are going out, you're like, what are you doing? A husband at a bar with your friends or this trope of like a man who's on the golf course all day long. But when you really think about how men spend social time together, it is sitting next to each other

watching sports or it is on a golf course and we kind of shit on those things as a society. But it is nice to find men that actually want to do things with their friends. My gosh, totally. But you know what I'm talking about the trope of like he's just at the golf course all day? It's like, but he's with his friends. He should socialize. I mentioned this, like how my brother went out with me for drinks and we stayed out, you know, later in the night and when his friends was like, Steph let you do that.

It's like, what? I could have been one of his male friends too. Like regardless, like this trope of like, oh, she let you out the house. It's just like, what are we doing here? You know, and it's one thing when you have babies at home, and it's not like an absent father. But I just think there is that trope that, like, guys aren't supposed to go out with the boys anymore or something.

It is these conflicting messages of, like, men don't have any friends or community. But, like, we do as a society tend to kind of mock it or make fun of it or be like, over my dead body, is my man going to do that? and I think you should trust your partner. Your sister-in-law trusts your brother. Your brother could go out to a bar all night long. I don't think that she feels abandoned by her partner or like she's being lied to or giving a runaround.

But they're conflicting messages. Well, I'll give you an example. We've been doing the sports documentary about me and my friends. We create a hockey team and we go out and we play a semi-pro hockey team out in the Mountain West. We did an interview with our buddy, Sal. He has a newborn baby. He's got a dog.

He's got a wife. and we're doing the interviews at his house. He's got his baby in his lap. And, you know, his wife's, like, loving it, having a good time. But then, like, we interviewed his wife a little bit, and she goes, yeah, he loves this. Like, I need him to do this. I need him to get out and do this. And, like, this, by the way, isn't like, hey, he's going to play, like, 18 holes down the street.

It's like, he's taking work off from Thursday to Sunday to go play a pretty, like, you know, a high-intensity hockey. like get two games of hockey, which is like not normal for a 31 year old man to do. Yeah. I want more guys to just spend time like that. But I also notice the trend that it's going that way. And I think it's a couple reasons because I also live with a guy who's 23 years old. So I'm elder Genzy. This is real Genzy.

Yeah. They don't drink anymore. So like that is a real thing. Like I noticed a lot of they might drink in college or they might have drank like before or like not like we did. Not like we were trying to die. I like to get on the piss. A guy like me,

I'm getting after it. Okay? That's the Boston guy, I think. Two, three hundred BL smoothies. Easy. No problem. Control, Alt, delete.

It's game over. It's so Boston. I show up to a bar. I put $300 in the touch tunes. I'm going to delete all of these. I'm just going to play zombie by the cranberries for three hours. Yes. But regardless,

like, they're just online. Like, he doesn't, instead of like going out to a bar, he'll just say like, no, my friends from back home are on

Xbox. I'm just going to play Xbox. I'm not going to go out. And then what happens when like those Xbox friends then get girlfriends? So then you're just losing friends that you haven't even made time for really in the first place. In the real world. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, I just feel like the, places to go in the real world are getting smaller and smaller. And then on top of that, golf, I think, is the bigger barrier to entry for young people in general. So like maybe a lot of guys aren't getting into golf. I don't think. At least some people I know. I mean, I do want to back. and say that like the reason why these things have been frowned upon, guys going out and partying all night and hitting the strip club

or going and golfing all day and getting blackout drunk and they can't come home and change their kid's diaper. Like it's because those men do exist. And so I think that it's like... And they're called fun as hell. That is shitty behavior. But women can do this because like you trust us to go do it. It's the trust thing.

I can go out with my girlfriends all night. party, get drunk, go home. Nothing crazy or bad happens and I don't cheat on anybody. That's the thing. It's like it's just about trust and it's about if you're an adult that's responsible and trustworthy and behaving. But it's like I always think of a couple I know. And her husband will golf all day, Saturday, every single Saturday.

Every one. I mean, no Saturdays off. I mean, unless they have like if they travel or something. And she's like, I get to go to brunch with my girlfriends and day drink all day and then bounce around and do whatever I want. Like, this is my dream. Like, everyone should date a golf guy. He just leaves you alone to go do...

I think it sounds amazing. Girly stuff on a Saturday? I mean, I guess the problem is you kid. Also, who wants to hang out with somebody that much? I think about that sometimes where I'm just like, if you're with your partner all week, like, you need like a good half day. Yeah, a break is nice.

You have a half day. I love my Saturdays with my fiancee, though. I know. I wouldn't want him to leave me every Saturday. Well, if you have kids, it's different. And if you feel like you don't have a social life outside of that together. We didn't also spend all day Sunday together. Like, I do understand that.

But they've been together 20 years, too. You know what I mean? Like, it's, that's different, too. I just, I do think we should, like, support men, like, going out to the world and finding friends. This is the most podcast of sports men the most. Oh, no. No. We don't want to.

We don't want to. Let's take that out. I'm based on this episode. No. This is our male apologist episode. Finally. Well, yeah. I mean, we want, this article really is the one you sent.

And it's the title is, men, where have you gone? And this was in the New York Times. and it just says men have retreated from intimacy, hiding behind firewalls, filters, and curated personas dabbling and scrolling. We miss you. And this woman went out with her male friend and just kind of noticed like no men were out.

Like it was groups of women and like very few men, even men like on dates. And she just kind of spoke about it. And it kind of goes back to what you're saying, especially younger generations. They want their indoors on devices. And sometimes that's how they're commuting came with their friends.

And there was a rebuttal basically. basically been said, you know, well, we're scared a little bit. And there's all of this stuff online now. Every time I go on a date with somebody who's TikTok about it, about what did I wear and how much did I pay and how did I behave? They're absolutely right. And did I ask enough questions? And then there's, you know, there's all these online forums like, are we dating the same guy? And I'm afraid to appear on one of these. And then there's the ick. And everything I do is going to be like ripped your strides. And again, I don't feel bad for any of you. But I understand feeling like I can't ever get it right.

Nothing I do will be right. So we're here, but we're afraid of you. Do you see this? Absolutely. And you know what, Raina, those same fears were echoed by my 23-year-old roommate. I read this in the actual newspaper.

And whenever I read something I find thought-provoking, I make my 23-year-old roommate also read it. You're raising him. I am a single father raising this boy. When I told you, I screamed at him the other day because he was about to eat a bowl of ground beef straight up. I was like, you can't eat that.

And he goes, what do you mean? I go, that's dog food. You're eating dog food right now. And he goes like, yeah, I did, because I'm a dog. And I go, oh, God. That's pretty funny. No, we're barking. I'm like, that's fun.

I validate that it is harder for all genders to date today. I don't remember being faced with any of these problems in my 20s. This is a byproduct of living in 2025. It is. If you want to be out there, be the most true and authentic version of yourself while dating, you're going to have to, like, risk being absolutely cooked in the comments by upwards of a million people online. That's just what's going to end up happening. All right? This is what it is at this point. You're saying we have to adapt. You have to adapt. I was dating a girl here in L.A. And she would make

TikToks about me taking her out. And then one of them ended up on Fox News. Not Fox. Yeah, I'm Fox. I mean, I came off as a great guy, but. But yeah, I mean, it's tough. Rain and I really want to tow the line. Like, I think back to our Drew Afueloelow episode and just she's really the far end of the spectrum of like you're guilty until proven innocent and she's not wrong and like men that these bad behaviors don't apply to aren't offended by this like these are we dating the same guy and iceless and stuff like that I think of people like you probably like my fiancee like our brothers who are like I don't this doesn't scare me off because I'm not going to fall into those buckets so it's just like be better there's a reason why these exist and women are more empowered than ever as they

should be, but if you want to know what's going on, we're here to tell you. I'd also agree that I want to say this, because I think like all these articles coming out where it's like, what's wrong with men? Men are broken. Men are lonely. This is starting to become like a pathology at this point. I think it's going to, I think there's some truth to it. At least I feel like if we just keep churning out these articles where like eventually every guy is just going to start thinking, I am lonely and broken. It's like, you weren't originally, but now you have to think, like,

am I lonely and broken? Am I fucked up? Like, am I not seeing my friends enough? Am I not doing this? Like, to any guys that do listen, especially to the guy that wrote the email, it's fine. We're going to be okay.

The country, probably not. But like, you'll be all right. Okay, just, again, pick up a hobby, all right? Talk to women and just be normal. But that's the thing. You're going to be all right if you do those things. I think it goes back to like our episode with Scott Galloway. It's like when I coach men,

I'm like, get off your fucking phone and get out in the world and work out and make some money and talk to women and be interesting. And it's just like, you got to do the things though. Yeah. Or you were not going to be okay. So it's just like, let's not read the articles and be like, well, am I lonely? It's just like, I don't know. Like, are you? You know, but I respect your point.

You are right, though, Ash. I mean, like, it is like a very, I think I thought about this like in college just like the way like, everything is very coddled, I think, just in general, where everything feels very easy, especially from our phones. So I think guys also get this sense of, like, a sense of, like, entitlement in general. We're like, why don't I have a good job coming out? Like, why isn't this going on? And that's not women.

That's not, like, anything to do with you. It's just society. This is, like, end game late stage capitalism. Why, like, all of our lives are shit. But then, like, that contributes to, like, the male loneliness epidemic. Like, I was going to say when we were. talking about guys that need to go out and reconnect and like stay in touch with their friends, think about the guy that probably has like a baby and a dog and a wife where he's just,

he's like, yo, I have to work all the time. And by the time I get to the weekends, I don't want to fucking get shit faced. I want to rest because I got to dial it back in on Monday so I can like keep this mortgage going. Yeah. I mean, I talked to my brother and he is the sole provider for his wife and two small children. and he's stressed at work and he wants to still be there for his family. And my dad's going through some health stuff.

Like he's got a lot on his shoulders. And I'm like, you have to talk to people. You have to talk to me. If it's therapy, like you can't just hold this all in. And so I think, obviously, we've come a long way with that too. And obviously he leans on his wife and he's got a great support system. But I like empathize.

I certainly am not a woman that's like, you're a man. Figure it out. Yeah, not at all. So, you know. I just, I want to validate. that dating is harder today. It's like, it just is a lot harder than when I was in my 20s. There's so much information

out there about what men and women, every gender should do and how you should behave and show up. And like, I don't remember ever thinking about this stuff in my 20s. Like, I just went on a date and I hoped I enjoyed it. And I didn't think, like, what percentage of the time did I spend asking questions? And I never really

thought about it. And I think a lot of this is good. I think it's good to talk about toxic behavior and narcissism and gaslighting and pathology in general. But like, Things have changed and we can't just complain about it. We do have to adapt a little bit. And we will. That's the thing.

Let's be positive here. We're going to adapt. We're going to be okay. I mean, this comment on the article says people used to keep diaries, which they would lock and hide away, inviting strangers on the internet to comment on your personal relationships, your photos, your hopes, your criticisms of friends and family, plus all your petty little grievances strikes me as being a pretty solid definition of insanity. And it's like, I can't be hypocritical.

We do a podcast where we should. share these things and people can publicly comment. Oh, I'm open to the comments. I think there's like this thing of everyone being like, I don't want to end up on the internet. I don't envy being that age. I'm glad I'm not. So good luck if you're 23.

I know. I try and shout out my boy, Peter. Shut up to shout out to Peter. I'm raising my boy. I wanted to end with the Golden Retriever boyfriend versus Black Cat boyfriend. Are you familiar with these? two types. I know the gold the, I used to do a joke about it, but. Well, what's, do you identify with a golden retriever or? Well, do you know the whole concept of like black cat golden retriever?

I know the golden retriever is like a guy who's like, hey, yeah, all right. People say Travis Kelsey is like the archetype of the golden retriever. It's the opposite of withholding, you know, and I actually don't read it as like too eager, but it is like the very securely attached, open with their emotion, shows up, whereas like blackout boyfriend, blackout girlfriend, that's exactly what you think it is. Yeah, Donnie Darko. Yeah, you can't catch them, you know? You can't get a little more of a little more elusive.

You're not sure. Yeah, you get into the apartment. There's like, yeah, he's around. I don't know where he is. He's under the bed. He's under the bed. Do you watch Summer I turn pretty? No, no.

You're like, I'm still a man. But if they compare the two brothers in this show is, one is the golden retriever, one's a black cat. And the black cat is, I don't know, he's like more brooding. and he's, yes, more withholding. I guess you could kind of say he's avoidant. So I don't love that.

And that's why I... I love that word brooding, though. I just, whenever I think of that word, I just think of some guy going, hmm. It's just like out loud voting. Too dramatic. It's dramatic.

So we just thought it was interesting. I think you want a black cat in the streets and a golden retriever in the sheets. Whoa. Like someone that's more of that, like withholding vibe with other people, but they are different. with you.

Mushy at home. Oh, okay. Yeah. But that's not black cat. Black cat boyfriend is different than like black cat with other people. You don't want black cat at home. Yeah, you don't want black cat with other people. Well, you want other people to be like.

What's his deal? Yeah, what's his deal? But at home, all over you, Lovie, just on you. That's what I'm saying. But I'm, I mean. You don't want black cat boyfriend. Yeah, but I don't think there's a split. I don't think you can be both.

I think you can't say. You think he's black hat in the streets? Yeah, I know people like that for sure. Okay. Yeah. He's warmed up, but I think he had this kind of, I mean, I thought he was such an asshole when I first met him. You're probably taking him out of his shell.

Yeah. That's probably a difference though. So like eventually he will go full retriever. But he just is not the way he is with other. He's just in the middle Pokemon evolution right now. He just doesn't give, he doesn't give it all away with other people in public. He just kind of look serious. But he's like the sweetest.

Like we joke sometimes like other people's boyfriend's behavior. And I'm like sometimes I will meet someone's boyfriend or husband and they'll really like lock in with me. And like a lot of eye contact, a lot of questions. And I'm like there's just a difference and I feel it when somebody's being nice versus being like it's a little too much. And I'm like, why is your boyfriend showing me this much attention? Like Ashley's fiance and I are buds. I love him. We're good friends.

He feels like family to me. He doesn't like lock in and get like mushy with me, you know? Yeah, like the boundary. I mean, like there's, I know, yeah, I guess I've never, even like my girlfriend's friends like, I'm like, I'm friends with him. Yeah, you seem like, I mean. I'm just friends with him. I'm just, I can't like turn.

Exactly. It off, I guess. I'm just being myself. I'm having fun. Yeah. I mean, I would joke that my fiancee hates everyone and loves me. That's my biggest turn on. But that's just like a Boston trade, you know?

Yeah, that's true. I'm kidding because he has like amazing friends and family that he cares about so much. But I like his whole, like, you'd think he was a dick and he is the sweetest, kindest guy. But he's not Black Cat boyfriend. He is, to you, not that at all. And I have no interest in Black Cat boyfriend. And I hate the trope. It is the number one thing I hate in pop culture, media, movies, books, where we, like,

write these characters of these, like, brooding guys and these girls that just, like, wait around and get shit on. And they just hope for it. And then he realizes, he wakes up and realizes, you're. the one. And like, I hate this job so much. I have no interest in black cat boyfriend. Okay, so I just AIed it. So black cat boyfriend is just, it's, it's a chat TV. I didn't use chat TV. I don't want to use the official name because you know I don't use it. Okay. So the black cat boyfriend is moody, ugh, reserved and emotionally complex contrasting with the more outgoing golden retriever boyfriend. Popular examples of black cat boyfriend archetypes include Conrad from the summer I turn pretty,

the number one, Felix from Too Much, which we started that show, but didn't finish it, and Carmi from the bear. That's a great example. Yeah, I don't want. Listen. That guy seems like a lot, though. Yeah, I don't want it. You don't know where you stand.

I don't want to. I don't want to work for it that hard at this age. I actually like a guy who is intentional and I'm not guessing how they feel and they may or may not show up and you get these bursts of them being into you and then they just take it away. nothing is less interesting to me than that. I'm not like, you can't treat me like that. I'm just like, I'm bored with this. I don't need it.

I don't like it. You think you're like going to get me. There are more right now. I mean, we're adults. Stop this. I usually date older as well. Okay. That's my, I'm like, I always feel like when it comes to just relationship.

I am what I am and it's like I'm probably the golden retriever boyfriend most of the time. I can see that about you in the best way. I mean, it's a good thing. Yeah, it's a good thing. Yeah. Maybe more even more of like an. Australian Shepherd I can be.

Okay. Because I'm not big. I'm not quiet. I know. Look at your watch. I'm a little guy. Did you borrow that from your girlfriend? Be honest.

Wait, how would I'm doing this? No. His feet don't touch the ground. But do you feel like those relationships did like help you grow up? Yeah, of course. Yeah. You try to learn everything. I mean, like the biggest difference I've learned in this relationship that I'm in right now.

Oh, I'm sad. Is that I went into it being very intentional. And I told her like straight up second date. I think I was just like, you know, I really like you. And what I have noticed in the past is like every relationship that I've been before, I've seen the out or the exit like six months, whatever it be, like ahead of time. So I kind of always had that in the back of my mind because it was always something to do with like either my work or just like, you know, I want to keep dating around or whatever.

Sure. But I was go, with this one, I'm going to focus on giving 100% effort and zero expectations. And that's all I did. And I've never been happier. How did she respond to that? She was like, do you want to order now? She was like, let me wipe my vagina. I'm a little wet.

I mean, just like, that's really great to hear. Who does someone hear that? My dick is out. And I'm just like, and whenever you want to start. That's your performance. I'll take my favorite. I'll take my president. He's like, I got this straight out of the performative mail handbook.

It's in my tote. I'm reading it. I wrote it down. I am dying thinking about later that night. And you're like, so where is my blowjob? And she's like, what do you mean? You're like, that stuff I said. The speech?

The speech. Stuff I said. You didn't like it? Remember? I was trying to do a joke the other day about like the guys who are like absent. They don't show up anymore. And I wanted to be like, guys, it's so easy now. All we have to do is show up.

All you got to do is show up. you could just show up, talk about like the Russian Revolution or whatever you want for like an hour. We don't want that. Just treat her to dinner. And then she's like, well, you're going to ask me about me? I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was the only guy that didn't cancel this week. The bar is hell.

Keep it up. I won't even let you blow me after. I hate that you guys know. Oh, they don't know. I know. The guys have caught on. But the bar is so low. Yeah.

No, that's really great. And I'm sure that went over well. No, it didn't. Oh, the first part. Yes. Yeah. And I think that's a way to, to know. know for men, women, whoever, that you're like, I'm not thinking about the out.

You can't. That was always the downfall of every relationship I was in because I was always thinking in the back of my head, yeah, but this ain't it. Maybe I didn't subconsciously know it was it. And I'd definitely like, I would have moments in these relationships where I'd be like, this is awesome. Like, I'm really into this. But like, I'd always be like, yeah, but what happens four months from now when I got to

do this with comedy or I got to do this or I have to make this big move? We move in together. Like when they ask me for the next steps. Yeah, we'll move in. We talked about this early days with Jared Freed of the way that men are like, okay, but once I call her my girlfriend, then what's next? It's a trip, and then we have to move in together, and then we have to get married, and then we have to have a baby.

Like you are, and it's like, I don't want to have a baby with you. I can't, yes, and the reason is like, I don't have a baby with you. Like, you future trips so far down the road. That is true. You feel like the train has left the station. But I think it's, as we get older, you do it to ask those questions, like, three. three, four dates in, do I want to have a baby with you? I think some people are like, how could you answer that question for a date's in?

And it's like, I just know. You know. I just know that I won't want to do that with you. So let's kind of like, let's debt it now. And we are going to announce your girlfriend's pregnancy today on the show. Absolutely. We do. Artificial insemination.

It's unbelievable. We're doing it with, of all people, Azul. Ashley's dog. The first dog baby. The first dog baby. Listen, we figure, you know, with technology nowadays, we'll have at least five shots. shots. Ashley's like,

I hate it and you can't do it. How much did you pay for that? I haven't got my check yet. Yeah, I'm sorry. Well, congrats to you guys. Yeah, it's going to be great. This was fun.

This was great. Is your full name Alec? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've been telling people it's short for Cornish. Okay. I don't get it. I mean, either. It's stupid.

No, it's just explaining. I think your name was Alex for a long time, and I follow you on Instagram for years. It's tough not to say Alex. I mean, how often you get called Alex every day? Well, you're using the Alec plural. It's Alex. Right.

So it's like, what am I going to say about that? I think I thought it was that. Well, when I met you, I don't remember years ago I met you, I thought it was Alex. Big Al, dude. Let's sound this podcast. It's almost four. Okay. So you're touring.

I'm touring all over, guys. Some of the cities included would be Portland, Seattle, Foggy London Town Manchester, Edinburgh He's International Dublin And New York City As well as Charlotte, North Carolina

And Wilmington, North Carolina Where can they get tickets? What's the website? Just go on my Instagram, it's Big Al Flynn I mean, I got a lot of fun stuff on there Usually it's just, you know, videos in my thigh tattoos From a real close angle

With the hissing of a grill Yeah, me putting a lot of meats on the grills Talking to the crows outside. Meaty thighs. Yeah. Okay. Screaming about. It's late stage capitalism.

Okay. Well, you guys, go to his Instagram and buy tickets to his shows. Shout out, Johnny. See him in the UK. What is that? In October? Yeah. Okay.

I'm really excited for that. Nice. Okay, and you guys can get tickets to our shows at girls got to eat.com. Sell out. We are Girls Got a podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash has. Rain is ran in dot Greenberg. Describe on YouTube.

Share this episode with a friend. Go see Alex tour. See? See? It's the possession. Alex. I did it on purpose. And we will see you Thursday. Have a good week, guys. Bye.