Girls Gotta Eat - Planning, Canceling, and Hooking Up at Weddings feat. Comedian/Wedding Coach Jamie Lee

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

Yes, it's a wedding episode, but with a lot of twists and turns! We are joined by Jamie Lee, comedian, actor, author of the book Weddiculous: An Unfiltered Guide to Being a Bride, and host of The Wedding Coach on Netflix, to talk about the ups and downs of getting married. We discuss how to set yourself up for success and also manage conflict with your partner during the planning process so it doesn't tear you apart. And we're getting real about pulling the plug on a wedding even when you feel like "the train has left the station." Most importantly, we discuss bachelorette parties, and hooking up at weddings (ahem, what brides and grooms can do to help their single friends out). AND we're recapping Ashley's brother's wedding and the action Rayna got while staying in the house with the family. Hope you enjoy! Follow Jamie on Instagram @ReallyJamieLee and binge The Wedding Coach on Netflix. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for show dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Feals: Become a member at feals.com/gge and get 50% off your first order + free shipping. Daily Harvest: Get $25 off your first box at dailyharvest.com, code GGE. Hello Tushy: Get 10% off + free shipping at hellotushy.com/gge. Dipsea: Get a 30-day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It would be nice if it was a little more overt the attempt to get your single friends together. Thank you. Tell me who is going to be single at this wedding. Back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. It's a beautiful day. This sun is shining. The flowers are blooming. New York is back, baby.

We're back. My patio is almost complete. I did a whole glow up out there. I'm going to do it before and after. Never gave you guys a home tour, but I'll do a patio tour, you know. People ask us for home tours all the time. What if you were like, this is my home? This is my live here.

I live here. I live out here in a hammock. That's the size of my house. first apartment in New York City. It's not so big. The apartment I lived in was so small. It was a twin bed. It is so bad. It's obscene out there. I would love a bigger closet. But here we are. Nope. They were like, don't make it bigger on the inside. Keep it small on the inside. But anyway, yeah, I have, I'm going to do a before and after. I've really been working out these last few weeks. You got before and after? No, I'm saying I'm going to do like a before. Yeah, I shot the before.

I've already, yeah, I did a body makeover. Redo, redo, redecoration. A reno. Revenge, patio. That's Ashley's new show. You go to people's places. You're like, your man left you. You redo the patio. The revenge patio. Okay. All right. Wedding episode today. Full wedding theme. Start to finish.

Can't wait. Going to talk about your brother's wedding? Yes. Other people's weddings? Other people's weddings. We have a wedding coach. Yep. And we ended up chatting with her a little bit about Florida. She's a bachelorette in Florida in July. Ashley, you roasted her so hard. We roasted her so hard.

So sorry to Jamie Lee. Because we were like, who goes to Florida in July? That being said, we will be in Florida in May. That's the cutoff. You had to go before mid-May. Before Memorial Day to Labor Day, there is a stop on Florida. I used to go in June every year for my friend, Laura's birthday. We would go and like, I think we went three or four years in a row.

And like two of the years were fine. Like they're manageable. We had the best time also. But like the last year, I could not live. Like, it's just too hot. You're at the equator, which we will later make fun of her about. Okay, anyway, but that's a teaser. But anyway, guys, Florida shows, there might be a few tickets left or not.

I don't know. But check it out. Miami May 2nd, Tampa, May 5th, Orlando, May 6th. So get your tickets, two shows every night. There's an early and a late show at Girls Gottoeepodcast.com. We cannot wait to see you guys there. These shows. I have outfits, titties out, jumpers, rompers.

And you guys get to hear about all the shit that we've been doing all year that we haven't talked about on record. Ashley's like I'm not done. Fry shrimp, grilled shrimp, brochrim. Highlights, contours. The last time we did shows in Florida,

we were late to the venue because Ashley was taking nudes for the guy she was dating. We were not just late. Like we were already running late and then we were halfway to the Tampa Improv and we had forgotten something. We forgot double late.

We forgot makeup. And then because you were fans to the dongle. I forgot makeup. That's right. I forgot the top. uncle. It's just like, it's not important. But we, that was the most I ever felt like a diva where we walked in and they were like, uh, we're scrambling because your girls like showed up five minutes before the show. Actually was like, I was taking nudes. Also, those news were good. Oh, I know. Okay. Do you want to know my dream? Like a dream that you had? No. But your life dream.

Yeah. That that guy one day, they're not nudes. They're scantily clad. I don't do like pussy out, you know, whatever. Girl same. They're, I'm wearing like next to nothing. I would love if that guy tried to blackmail me. And then I had a reason to release my own nudes. Because I think that's such a power move. Like if he was like, hey, remember those nudes you sent me in 2019? I, you know, give me a hundred grand or whatever.

And then I'd like, I'm going to release them myself. And then that would be such a power move. But like, I feel weird posting them otherwise. Maybe I'll make it up. Maybe you'll make it up. That is 100% something you would do. He wouldn't even match up. Now everybody knows.

You would make a feed post and be like, guys, somebody's trying to blackmail me for $100,000. So I'm posting this nude. I've been trying to get you to post the nude that you took in Austria. You don't know, I've been trying to get you to post that nude from Australia for a year now. This is so embarrassing. Like, we've been talking about this nude for a year. Let's not hear me out. That guy is a huge loser.

He is definitely going to blackmail you. So, no. Let's just wait it out. Well, no, we're, the nude from, from Australia, no one, no guy ever got it. I know. I know. But I'm just saying. That other guy will blackmail you for sure.

You think he's listening. He doesn't have a home or probably a way to listen. It's also not even that sexy. Like, if those turned up on the internet, I would be like, amazing. I would like text that photo to my dad. It wasn't even that salacious of you. My dad of you. What's you know?

All right, guys, we'll get those tickets. Girls Gotty Podcast.com. We can't wait to see you. Maybe I'll put it up on the screen in Florida. You know what I mean? Here's what happened last time I was here. I think I have some deep picks to put up on the screen with Florida. I don't know what we're doing.

All right. We'll see. We'll just wait it out. Okay, we have another fun announcement right now. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. For what? So guys, really exciting.

Ashley and I can't wait to do this. On Thursday, April 29th, at 7 p.m. Eastern Time. We are hosting an Instagram live with bright sellers. Yes. We have been working with them for a while. We love them. You order wine online. It comes in a box.

You enter all these things that you like. Do you like white? You like red. Do you like sweet? You like dry. And they hand select wine through you. They send it in a box. We're going to be co-hosting.

an Instagram live with you guys. We're going to be taking questions. We're going to make it super fun. Again, Brightsellers, sponsoring the Happy Hour, and they're giving you 50% off your first six bottle order plus a corkscrew plus a bonus seven bottle of wine. I've seen this for the first time.

We didn't even get the seventh bottle, okay? I don't have a corkscrew. Guys, corkscrew can't recommend this. I'm honestly jealous of whoever. I'll buy you a corkscrew. One of you all orders will send it to me. I'll give you Asch's address and one of you can bring it over. But you guys place the order so we can all enjoy Bright Sellers together during the happy hour.

You guys will go to Brightsellers.com slash GGE, get your wine matches and complimentary corkscrew. Since we start working with them, I get a box in them every month. I love it. I always have wine at home. I always try new and different things. They sent me a lot of Reds this month. If you don't like a bottle, they'll replace it in your next order. And then you rate them all.

So then you kind of, they kind of start to match your taste more and more. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like I always say I feel like I'm the adult I always aspired to be because I just have wine in my home all the time now. You know, like the one we had last night, you came over last night. Rob was here. This white was one of the best whites I've had in so, so long. Like they, and I've told them, especially during the winter, I told them I wanted more barbaras and they were sending me those.

Like, they're just incredible. And so we are so excited. We're just going to, I mean, listen, it's rare that we do like a show type of thing where we are drinking. So this is kind of like we're going to drink. Like it is going to be a happy hour. Start to finish. If we do it for an hour, like we're going to be a little lit towards the end.

However long it takes, I will be slurring by the end of it. Yeah. Also, how nice was it last night where I was like, I'll bring a bottle over and you're like, I got tons here already. Like be that kind of adult. I know. So yeah, like Raina said, guys, go to brightsellers.com slash gge now. So you can get that wine for the happy hour, which like we said is going to be Thursday,

April 29th at 7 p.m. Eastern time. That's going to kick off an amazing weekend. We'll be in Florida. later that weekend. So end of April or early into May, we're like so excited. So I just, I love that we're doing kind of like an end of April spring. April pop off. H.H. So check that out. Here's the last thing that you guys can do for us. We haven't asked for it a long time. If you guys will go on iTunes, leave a rating. Just click that five star. You don't have to do anything else. You don't have to type anything. Just hit the five stars.

We haven't asked for this in like, what, years. And I keep meeting to. And we would love it if you would support the show by doing that. Yeah. So. So anyway, let's talk about our weekend. We, I'm so excited. It's happening. You got sad like I got sad. I did, okay, I did not expect this. Okay, so we were in Delaware with your whole family for four days.

Yeah. And I, when I'm with a huge group of people, I'm always like, I really just like want to get away from people. I love that moment of silence when you're finally home and not talking to people because you've expended all of your emotional capital. All I want to do is sit in silence. The minute I got to home and sat in silence, I was so sad. sad the entire day. Yeah. You almost convinced me to go back. Well, Matt, this is for my brother's wedding, for my brother Matt's wedding. He had a bunch of food leftover and he sent me a photo of these

potatoes. If you go to a big fish grill in Delaware or any or some of the other restaurants in that restaurant group, Summerhouse being one of them, they have these potatoes called Nevis potatoes. They're basically like mac and cheese potatoes. I had them Friday and Saturday nights. Yeah. And he sent me like a, he was like, they gave us the leftover food from the wedding and he sent me like, picture of this giant like aluminum tray of it and I was like Raina we got to go back actually you go they gave that to you and he goes yeah we paid for it ash so yeah I mean we were um I'm just going to talk a little bit about it you know this is a wedding theme episode where rain and are coming off a wedding that was like really so special I mean I officiated the wedding I could talk about that

a little bit but this was my brother Matt marrying this wonderful woman Stephanie we love her uh Raina came with me but like not as my date you had your own invitation like you know we both had plus ones. We didn't even bring dates. Like, you were your own guest. I will say when you are as such as an important part of the wedding, like you were the efficient, if you were a bridesmaid. It's nice to bring somebody that, like, knows your family and doesn't need you all weekend. Because it would have sucked if I didn't know your family. And I was just like, part of the family. Yeah, I didn't even see you off the weekend. Like, I was just like, I got to go do this thing. You're like, I'm just going to hang out with here with Buck and Lindsay. We'll get to it. But yeah,

I wanted to just address a couple of things up top. I mean, you know, obviously, I just wanted to talk about this in light of COVID. This was their original wedding date. So it was, it was really stressful this past year trying to figure out what to do. I mean, there were certainly points where they were like, we're not going to do this wedding if it doesn't feel safe, obviously. You know what I mean? If people can't get vaccinated and we can't have, you know, we'll do it small. We will cancel the venue. Thank God they didn't. It was a beautiful venue. But, you know, they were willing to let go of that and just do a small ceremony with just family or, I mean, Matt would have gone down to the courthouse. You know, they just wanted to get married and they wanted to do it on their date. So luckily,

you know, the vaccine happened. The, they, the wedding was half of what it was supposed to be, guest-wise. So they chopped the guest list in half. So it was still a lot less people. And originally that, you know, they obviously followed the Delaware, all the regulations in terms of the venue and everything. And it felt a little normal. I mean, I did, everybody there I talked to had been vaccinated. I mean, all of our older family members, parents, aunts, uncles, all those people have been vaccinated for months now. I mean, my aunt and uncle have been done since January. I mean, every guest I talk to, you know, they've got a lot of friends that are essential workers, you know, their nurses, teachers, work in the service industry. You know, Delaware's been really great with the vaccine. We've,

we've had our backs. And of course, there's going to be risk, you know, associated with COVID for quite a while. But in terms of being around a bunch of people that had been vaccinated and felt really safe to have like a quote unquote normal feeling wedding was really, really special. So I feel like we're starting, we're going to start to see that more and more. And again, It wasn't some huge blowout hundreds of people. It was half of what it was supposed to be. It was also fully outside. Mostly outdoor.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, like really open air and people, you know, we're distancing and whatnot. We wore masks and we were going in out of places and stuff like that. But, you know, people couldn't make it. They did a Zoom. They did a live stream.

You know, people from other countries. My cousin, for example, you know, she lives in Amsterdam. She hasn't gotten a vaccine. She didn't feel comfortable coming. You know, that certainly happened. And that was a bummer. But it felt nice. It felt safe.

It was in Lewis, Delaware, which is about 15 minutes from Dewey. It was at a place called Hoffman. Hopkins Heartland, which was actually formerly, formerly called the Covered Bridge Inn, but it was beautiful. It was perfect. They got married to barn. My parents got married to barn. So it was just like, that's our brand for us. It was stunning. I do have to say, I do want to plug the photographer. Love it. Because this is the ultimate shoot your shot. His name is Adam Mason. Mason photography is his Instagram, if you want to check him out.

He's incredible. His photos are incredible. They're never seen better way of photos. He is a fan of ours. I think he's married. He lives in D.C. and around D.C. And he had heard about us from friends. I can't remember the whole story. Bottom line, he had been following me and you and girls got to eat prior to Matt even getting engaged. And the night of the engagement, Christmas Eve 2019, you know, they got engaged.

He slid to my DMs. I was like, congrats to your family and your brother. I'd love to shoot that wedding. I was like, damn, Adam, like night of the engagement. He slid in there. And I didn't know him. I looked at his work. I thought he was great.

And I sent it to Matt. I'm like, no pressure. I don't know this person. I appreciate him shooting a shot and you can check him out and Matt loved him and he was just incredible. I mean, I feel like that's one of the most important parts of the wedding is like the photos. Guys, that's all you have left. Yeah. And Matt really had a lot of nice things to say about it.

Like hot take, you know, get a photographer you like. But Matt and I were talking, he was like, that guy made me feel so comfortable. And it's like you guys should always work on photographers to just make you feel good because, I mean, that's all you have at the end of the day, you know? And he has a great guy named Elliot McGuire. He's a, he was a dewy guy that he did like their video and stuff like that. But those are just a couple of things I would have mentioned. I mean, it was so much fun. We stayed in a beach house in Dewey with the family.

Some people stayed at a hotel. And it was just great. I mean, it was such an honor for me to like officiate the wedding. I wrote the whole ceremony. And I asked them, do you guys want to do your own vows? And they said, no, like we want to say the traditional vows. Like I'm at take the Stephanie yada yada through sickness and health, all that stuff. But I basically emailed them separately and asked them a bunch of questions.

I googled some for inspo. Like, what does marriage mean to you? you, how can you be the best partner? You know, what do you see in your future? Yada yada. And, like, kept those, you know, they email me back separately so they didn't see them. And then I kind of incorporated them to the ceremony. And so basically, like, vows that I was kind of reading and they were hearing for the first time. And that's just like kind of how I did it. And I had, like, jokes and stuff in there. I asked them, I was like, do you want anybody, you have any funny shoutouts at the wedding? Like, people want to, like, want to do like a light little roast and

they sent me people. So I was able to, like, incorporate though. No one saw that coming. It was just really good. I mean, I got a lot of questions of like how I did it. And that was, how I did it. You guys, it was so special. She, I just want to hype her. It was the most special wedding ceremony I've ever seen. Like, what an honor to like have your sibling do that. And, you know, to not just be like a bridesmaid to actually like marry them. When I said, I did not cry that much at the wedding. I cried when I saw you walk down, like the farm and like just like walk outside. And you wrote such a special speech. And it was, I told you this before, but it was funny, but it wasn't pandering. It wasn't like you were trying to get a bunch

of attention. It really was about Matt and stuff. It was, it was beautiful. It was short. It was perfect amount of time. I just, I loved it. I think that more people should do. I don't know why they don't do more stuff like this. If you're not looking for a religious ceremony, it is really such an incredible thing to have like a sibling do that because that's something that you and Matt will have forever. Yeah. Thanks for saying all that. It was, it was really special. If you guys are curious, it's super easy to get ordained. I use the Universal Life Church online. It took 30 seconds. There's no even like questionnaire. I know. It's just, but you have to buy like a package and then this is so funny. I got like my pack packet like my packet with like my

certificate and my little card and then in there was like a parking pass. Oh yeah. I have that my bag. I give it back to you. I minister parking pass. Rana was like if we don't have this parking pass in the car, I'm not driving around with you. So that yeah, I mean, it was just, it was so fun. I mean, I think like some of my favorite moments like even just at the weekend we're like just hanging out with you and my family. Like I feel like one of my favorite moments was just us sitting in the sunroom in the beach house with my mom and my two aunts and just laughing, roasting my mom. Your mom really set the tone for the wedding and I was telling you guys this. Like she just was so chill and laid back and like sort of like go with the flow.

I'm not saying this by my mom's back. I called her and told her. My mom would have been screaming her head off all weekend insisting on an itinerary and a timetable and just bitching at everybody. I was like, mom, these people are not like us. Like your mom was so chill and laid back. You were so chill and back. I think it really set the tone to like allow everybody to really enjoy themselves. And like I think everything is in perspective that like we're just lucky to have a wedding right now. You know, we're so lucky to be together. This is so special. I think the day was like really about them. Yeah. It was great. I just think again, we'll talk about this today. Like what's really worth yelling and screaming and stressing out about? I mean, my mom will tell you her wedding. So

much shit went wrong. Like the catering, the band. Like it was a fucking mess. You know, like, and she's just like, we just went with it. What are you going to do? You know what I mean? Like, it's just people get so stressed. It's like, it's supposed to be fun. Like, it's just supposed to be fun. Like, I, you know, that's just kind of, that's the point. So, I mean, and just, you know, being down there is just like a stress-free place anyway. You know, you're trying to navigate and plan on New York City wedding and a little more tense and high pressure.

But it was good. I mean, you, you felt very comfortable in the house. Also, we stayed in this giant, like the house I didn't even think it was that big until I got inside of it. I just ran an Airbnb. be. It was super cheap off season and it was like huge. There was six bedrooms. Everybody had their own bedroom. Thursday night was great. It was one of my favorite nights of the weekend because we were all just in like sweatpants.

We ordered a pizza from grottoes and just like hung out and I had a lot to drink. And then at some point I just disappeared. I don't know how to have it. Okay, I want to stay up top. Last week I talked about blowing so many three times of completion and his sister listened. And so maybe she wants to earmuffet for this before I talk about what happened. Sister of your listening. This is where you skip ahead. This is, yeah. I mean, honestly, you've already heard it all.

So I went upstairs. I don't know how it happened. I was on the phone for a few hours. It turned into phone sex. I don't know. In the house with my family. Thin walls, the old beach house. I don't know how it happened.

I just disappeared. I had a little phone sex. And I was like pretty drunk. And I put two covers over my head thinking like, no one can be able to build a fort. The sex fort. I was like, these two thin-ass blankets are going to muffle the sound.

It's not a buffy. It's not a buffy. They are thin beach blankets and I was moaning and saying all kind of shit. And then, okay, so I wake up in the morning and I'm like, people definitely hurt me. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to say anything. So I'm like waiting. I'm like biding my time to go downstairs.

I don't want to go downstairs. I come downstairs. I end of the room. You're there. Your mom's there. I'm like, okay, you're feeling so cool that like people would just start roasting me immediately if they heard me. So no one said anything.

I'm like, I'm in the clear. I was like, Ash is going to be so pissed at me that I, like, did this. And I'm, like, having phone sex next to her mom's room. I shared a wall with her mom. And then nobody said anything. And then slowly, it started to come out that people did hear me. Your mom was like, yeah, I can hear you talking, like, pretty loudly.

And she asked me, then she roasted me all day. She asked me if I could make my, my sexy liaisons a little louder later. And I was like, Cindy, I'm not going to do this again. That's disgusting. Like, I would never disrespect the home again. And then somehow, I don't know how it happened. It happened again that night. We were all sitting around having a great time and I disappeared one upstairs and had phone sex again.

The next morning was really the day. I was like, this is it. Ashley is going to be so pissed to me. I didn't want to look at you. I was going to be so mad. I disrespected the home again again. I don't know. It just spiraled into a lot of phone sex.

I, um, but then I put a hard stop on it the third night. I didn't have phone sex in the house the third night. Okay. I just did it a little bit last night. I don't know what's happening. Oh, my God. I mean, I feel like you were turned on because you were also like sharing a while with Lindsay and Buck. I was.

I was single at a wedding. Buck was 10 feet away from me. You guys know what Buck looks like. If you guys don't know by now, which is you're new here. Lindsay is my cousin. Buck is her husband and Buck Fox. They're the best couple. Like we could just, you know, you're just around couples and their energy is like just,

you just feel the love. I feel that about Matt and Steph. But like, I don't know. It's just, it's really special when you're just around those couples that have been together for years and years and they still just always want to like, you know, give each other a kiss or touch each other or hold hands. They just show each other so much respect. It's just nice. It was such a nice weekend. Just full of like love. I was like, I love your family. I feel very accepted by them. I did. I mean, I sat here and Kathy for the wedding. She was my date. I just, I never felt like for one second. I'm sad to be here alone. I wish I had a date. I mean, I wish I had somebody to have sex with, not phone sex with. But other than that, I mean, you got a lot of action. You got more. I. I'm. most action of anybody in that house. Yeah. And then I took the best picture of the whole weekend with your dad. It's my favorite photo. It's such a good pick. You got a real small out of me. But, you know, thank you for including me in it. Thank you for having me as your day. You got invited on your own accord. Thanks to Matt. But it was beautiful and I'm really so grateful that we could do something

like this because, you know, we've all lost so much over the last year and to just be able to be outdoors, be with people that we love and celebrate other people's union was very special to me. I will say the best part of the whole week wedding weekend. It's just, you know, now that Steph's part of our family, our families joined, her family's incredible. It's great. But after that was Matt splitting his pants at the wedding during a lap dance. So the sexiest lap dance.

Well, did you know your brother can move his body like that? Listen, I know Matt has moves, but he didn't want to do that. And with the DJ who was incredible, DJ Mani M, he put Matt on blast. Matt had told him he didn't want to do anything like that. He didn't want to do some guard or thing. He didn't want to do a strip tease lap dance, whatever. and Manny put him on blast and put on pony and Matt, he has the moves and he had a crowd and he just went for it. Wait, that wasn't planned?

No, Matt specifically said, don't do that. Matt did not plan that entire dance. Matt wanted no part of that. That was insane, Ashley. The two of you were insane. Okay, at one point there was this dance circle and Ashley's like, I don't know if I want to get it. And then she just dropped to the floor. I have never seen it.

And then Matt just busted out a whole routine. I was like twerking. I was like my work here. So what the fuck is, how are you all like this? So, Matt, it's so funny because Matt, you know, he's six, seven. He's like 300 pounds. He was, you know, he played football. University of Delaware. He's alignment. And, you know, some of his friends obviously were, too, his football friends. And so Matt split his pants midway through this, like sexy lap dance on his new wife. And he reached around. You could tell that he felt it. We have a photo of him realizing his pants. Earlier in the night, his friend Corey, who was also a lineman at Delaware, split his pants. And I went up to Corey. He's the same size as Matt. And he was like, oh, I split my pants to every wedding. And he's like, I split my pants to every wedding. And he's like, They're just not made for men that are that big to, like, drop it low. Like, men's dress pants need to have some stretching them because, like, I didn't know this. It's a lot of torque to kind of drop down low.

Like, they just split. Like, it was just so funny. Like, I would say, like, that's, that was one of the funniest parts of the wedding. First of all, when he was doing the lap dance, I was screaming. I was staying there with Stephanie's made of honor, Hannah, screaming. I was looking at you. We were like, oh, my God, how is this happening? And then when those pants split, I was like, I'm dead.

I'm on the floor. I'm like, they didn't just slip along the, split along the seams. They like shredded across the back. And the look on his face when he realized this happened was insane. Because I just feel like

over time men's pants have gotten a little slimmer. You don't want a big baggy ass dad khaki. So I feel like pants are nice. You're nice navy slacks. They are not built to sustain a 300 pound man dropping it low.

And Matt and Corey, they have mobility. Like, did you see Corey drop it low? Did I see? them. All I did was watch them. I can't believe Matt didn't plan this dance. I'm shook. I wish you could have seen it. It was like watching Magic Mike. Not only was it unplanned, Matt specifically said I'm not doing anything like that. Stephanie's nice family. I can't believe it. Okay. And I will tell you the other like one of my favorite moments of every wedding, but like definitely this one, which I loved is, and I think that everybody

can relate the next morning 10.30 a.m. brunch. Starboard. Every single person looked like they were on their deathbed. You me felt great. I felt great. We felt great. We felt great. Killing it. I just don't like, I mean, I've said it before in the show. I don't get drunk like I used to. I don't like to feel hungover. I didn't want to wake up feeling hungover at my brother's wedding, you know, like the night before, like so many people got so drunk like the night before the wedding. And I just didn't.

I was like, I'm the mom. I was the mom. I had to help my mom get home. Yeah, that's why I had to go upstairs and go to sleep like two hours before everybody else. I was just like helping everybody out. I love bitching out, okay? I love bitching out so I can feel better tomorrow. But that is such a funny, like, cute feeling when like you walk in 10.30 a.

m. brunch after a wedding. no one is alive. It's funny to look around. And we were like, we feel great. I felt great. I didn't, I mean, I wasn't 100% but like, I'm here. I'm here.

I'm doing it. Eat breakfast, drink coffee. Maybe I have a little crush. I don't know. But yeah, that was, that was pretty much it. We just wanted to talk about it. Matt's married. It was so great.

I mean, I don't know. People like, I got a few messages of like, you know, was it hard for you? Your brother's getting married before you. He was younger. I'm like, no. Like, but I'm different. that way, I guess, because I don't really care. And my thing that I'm the most proud of my life is this career that we build and it was nice

to be there. And I can't stress enough how I don't feel it at all. I don't care at all. I don't think, I don't know that that's normal. I don't know, but the energy. You're a younger sibling gets married before you, I think some people. I didn't have this career, though, at all. Like, my brother got married and I just didn't care.

Like, and I don't think my energy said that I cared and so no one else cared. You know, like, I think that people can sense that you're upset and then they make it a bigger deal. It's, it comes from love. It does. But your energy didn't say, like, feel bad for me. Your energy said, like, I'm part of this. I'm here. This is a great weekend.

Like, I'm never better. Ashley's... Never looked better. Ashley could not stop telling us last night how hockey is. Stop. I fell off of a chair. I just... I just feel great.

I love my life. Like, I didn't... You know, it's just like... I don't know. Build a life you're proud of. So you don't have to show up to your younger siblings wedding and feel sorry for yourself. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I never felt it for one second. It predated the podcast. So I don't know. I don't begrudge other people for their happiness. I don't know. It was a great weekend and I'm happy we got to do it. Me too.

Okay. So this is just a little something we decided to throw in last minute because we were having Jamie on today. She has this great show on Netflix and we were just talking about weddings and the ridiculous stuff that people do for weddings that actually nobody really cares about. You know, there was this one episode of the show where they had like a fortune teller at the wedding doing tarot cards and stuff and we're like, how many people actually do that? You know, you see all these like spreads of food that never get touched.

you know, like, I just think there's a lot that goes to weddings that don't matter and they're kind of ridiculous. But also live your truth. Do whatever you want. It's nothing's ridiculous if you're into it, but we asked you guys on Instagram, what's the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in a wedding? And we wanted to run through a few of those answers. All right. First one out of the gate. We asked people about arrivals. Bride and groom taxied in on a Trump plane to the reception. Oh, yikes. Yikes. Um, okay. These are, we're reading these for the first time. We wanted to like be. surprised. Groomsmen dance to wop at the reception. I like it. Love to see it. I love to you pick that because at the same time, I picked

a choreographed bridal party flash mob to shake it off by Taylor Swift. I love it. The bride and groom were pulled around in a pirate ship. They built themselves. Around where? Like a moat? I feel like you'd be jealous. The Clemson Tiger came to the reception.

God damn it. I saw that on here too. Let me see a fucking mascot come to you guys and you guys know that I have a mascot fetish. What am I going to fuck the mascot at my wedding? This is crazy. The groom answered his phone at the altar. No. Who was it?

That's a mistress. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My cousin's ex-wife doing a full-on cheerleader routine with her bridesmaids in full attire. They put on cheerleader outfits. I mean, I don't know if I hate it. Oh, here we go.

A ranch fountain. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Give me a fountain of any food. Yeah. Okay. Wedding in a horse barn. and they just kept the horses below in the barn.

Oh my God, the smell. You can't clear the horses out for the wedding. Oh, my God. Feet washing ceremony where the bride and groom watched each other's feet. Is that a religious thing? That might be, that might be. I'm not sure. Oh, my God, a goat sacrifice.

No, they did not. Okay, that better be a religious thing. Lots of ranch fountains. Only drink options were bourbon and chocolate milk. Who are these people? I don't buy it. I don't believe it. True or false.

No wine. No wine, no water. They were like chocolate milk and purple. No, I don't buy it. My BFF bonged a beer for her entrance to the reception. Oh, my gosh. I don't hate it. Ooh, caught a bridesmaid with another bridesmaid's husband.

Yikes. Chicken salad and mashed potato bar for dinner. Cash bar for drinks. Don't do me so dirty like that. But the first part of that, I like chicken salad. I like that idea. Yeah. Okay. How do you think of this?

My ex's best friend had a beauty and the beast themed wedding. What, like with the singing dishes? They hire at a clock. They're like, be our guest. Be our guest. And a candlestick who's like dances down the aisle. A mariachi band and a magician during the reception love all of that. Kate got married in Tulum and post-ceremony a mariachi band came out.

It was incredible. I love a mariachi band. A magician. Co-op. Balloon animals. Okay. Here's my favorite one, maybe of all them. centerpieces live goldfish.

The Brides family ate them like they were shooting an oyster. Nope. Like in Wolf of Wall Street when Jonah Hill eats the goldfish. Can you even do that? I don't, I'm so upset by this and I don't know if I buy it. I want to sue them for animal cruelty. Do you think they shot goldfish out of most centerpiece? So when we were, my senior prom, I forget the theme.

I forget. It was probably like Slean Dion. My heart will go on. Maybe it was like Titanic, honestly. But there was a baby pole with real-life fish in it just there in the ballroom. A baby pool. Like a, they were like a kiddie pool in the back. Like a kitty pool with fish in it, real-life fish.

And they were all belly up by the end of the night. They all died. They just all died. We're like, that's so awkward. That is so awkward. Oh, my God. The prom-plaining committee really took the all on that one. All right.

I love this. I honestly think that everybody should do this. It was a Pittsburgh wedding. Terrible towels were waved while Renegade is played. You put terrible towels at every single seat? Oh, 100%. This girl's, this is a girl after my own heart. Me doing a keg stand in a dress at the reception, 100%.

I would wear a pair of bike shorts just to do it. And if there's a keg, I'll do a keg stand. I'm so good at keg stands. I am too. I really open my throat up. Yeah, I learned that early on. Oh my God. Okay.

A coffin in front of the head table with the sign that read till death do us part. No. They brought a coffin to a wedding. Oh, my God. Oh my God, this is crazy. My sister had a seven-course seated dinner. What? Can you imagine?

What is the point of that? One course. I'm going to a one-course wedding. If there are two courses, I don't, you know, fine, a salad and an entree course. I don't want it otherwise. Okay. Here's a food-related one. It was 85 degrees plus outside and they fed us fetuccine Alfredo.

Hot ass outside wedding and you eat hot, thick-ass meat pasta. Phatini Alfredo. Fetuccini Alfredo. I'll never forget when we were in Tampa last time, this bitch sat right on the stage and ate Fettuccini Alfredo during our show. We could her so hard. I couldn't call her out fast enough, honestly. Here's a food thing I love that people do. This girl had what a burger delivering breakfast tacos for all the drunk people at the end of the wedding. I, I love a late night food because I feel like at weddings you're usually eating at like six or six 30, like your dinner. So I got, after Matt's wedding, before I went back to the starboard, I came home and had a

of grottoes. I would love grottoes delivered. You know, my dream is to have a shake shack delivered. Honestly, my dream is out shake shack just cater. Yeah, that's a good call. Trapeze person hanging from a chandelier pouring champagne is the guest walk in. I've been no wedding like that. My friends got married at Nikki Beach in Miami and they had like all those things. They had like the glow stick. They had like the drummer. They had the trapeas champagne girl. I loved it. It felt like just like a really wild night at the club. Like a circus. I love that. He was like a circus. Yeah. I'll tell you what would piss me off. The brother of the groom proposed to his girlfriend at the reception.

Read the room, Frank. Oh my God. We got a bunch of those. Somebody else. That is wild. We got a bunch of those. We got a bunch of those. Uh-huh.

The balls. I cannot. All right. All right. Let's end it on that. Okay. Guys, we are so excited to jump in with our guest today.

She is a comedian, an actress, and a writer, best known for Girl Code, crashing, ridiculousness. She is the author of the 2016 book, Wadiculous,

and unfiltered guys. to being a bride and the host of the new Netflix reality series, The Wedding Coach, which Ashley and I watched all morning. Please welcome to the show, Jamie Lee. Yay! I'm so happy to see you guys.

Also, did you watch with the captions on? Because I know that you guys do that. Yeah, obviously, I watch the captions on, but I will say, I think we met on a show at a bar, like at Poco, maybe in the East Village one night. And you probably don't remember, but I remember you because it was like I was watching crashing at the time. And we were like such a fan of the show.

Wow. And I was like, Ray and I met Jamie from the show like the show because we were just so into crashing. Oh, that's awesome. We've been fans of yours for a while. Oh, well, thank you. That's really nice. And I love this podcast. So it's like, it's kind of surreal doing it honestly.

Oh, my God. I'm a big fan. Yeah, your chemistry is truly next level. Oh my God. Thank you. Ashley is my lifelong partner. She. It shows.

I mean, it really is like, I mean, I think a lot of like, best friends have podcasts and I do I do one with my good friend as well and like yeah I just think the chemistry is so important and I could just like listen you guys talk about anything so hey really appreciate you having me so you're coming to us in a few blocks away from us in New York City um so you're in New York City you're hosting the show you wrote a book about weddings maybe we start with the book and like what encouraged you to like write this you wrote a book about wedding planning while planning a wedding yes that's right yeah It does sound crazy, but actually I think that was maybe the best way to do it looking back because you have so many thoughts and feelings about the experience as you're going through it.

And it's nice to have a place to sort of like dump those feelings. And then later when the wedding was over and I kind of like went back and started looking at these like journal entries I was doing, then I could use my perspective having gone through it to then like tweak it and make it sound like less angry honestly. like my first draft of my book was just like the literary equivalent of like Norwegian death metal. It was just like the fucking meanest, craziest, harshest thing you've ever read. Like that original manuscript was psychotic.

And then I was so grateful, obviously, to have an editor who was like, hey, like maybe heal it back a little bit. Like you don't have to talk about everybody. Like they murdered you. Like, you know, just calm down a bit. So yeah, I was happy to go back and be like, okay, like, let's, breathe and like edit this thing.

So it still has an edge to it and it's still like irreverent, but it's not like brutal to read. Can we have some excerpts from the original? I'm just kidding. I know. I have to go back. I definitely it's somewhere. I should reread it.

Who did you hate the most? Was it your mom or his mom or him? Like who was the worst? Honestly, I think it was him. And I say that with love. like it, I think that he was in a really tough spot where he was having to manage my feelings and then manage his parents' feelings. And then also like just kind of not knowing like where the who's who's the right person

to align with. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, you know, in our case, we had like a lot of different people putting money in, which I think if you can swing it to where you don't have to do that, that means like less people are weighing in. because I think a lot of families, not every family, but a lot of family, if they contribute to the pot,

they feel like they have stake in it, and therefore they can give their opinion, whereas you want to be like, no, just like, give me the money and like, don't talk. Like, I just want your money. Or they want to invite a lot of their friends. Yes, yes, yes. And so it's, which, you know,

which is understandable, if I was giving a big chunk of change and then people were like, yeah, just give us your money and like don't weigh in. You know, that's a tough spot to be in. But anyways, yeah, I think that my, husband and I were just fighting a lot because I just wanted him to back me up even when I was being

illogical and he was definitely being more rational and he was like, you sound crazy. And then I was like, don't call me crazy. So that was that was really hard, I think, like not sticking together more as the team. So can we can we back up a little bit though? Like just a little bit of background, like how long were you guys together before? Were you playing in a big wedding? Like just a little bit of background on you and your husband. and then your update now with, you know, whatever you want to share.

So we have a little bit of the like big picture. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. So big picture of our relationship was we had been together five years, got engaged. We were engaged for maybe a year and a half because we were waiting on a particular venue. So we had like, I guess that's kind of like an average length engagement.

I don't even know what is average any more long or short. But yeah. And then we initially were going to have the wedding. in New York, potentially on Long Island, because that's where he was from. And we had a lot of friends in New York, so we were like, maybe that's more convenient. But then I'm from Texas. And so we considered Texas. But then his parents were like, if it's in Texas, no one will go to Texas.

So then we were like, oh, okay, maybe we shouldn't have it in Texas. And then I ended up pulling the plug on it being in New York because I felt like I had no real control over it when I was so far away. living in California. So yeah, it was going to be about like 125 guests. And I just kind of felt like his parents were, they were truly just helping us. Like they were actually being so helpful. But as someone who's like planning their first wedding, I was like, I want to be more involved. And I don't want people handling things for me.

I just want to handle it all on my own. And so it became kind of like a weird power struggle. So then I kind of pulled the plug and moved it to California. So I could like be closer to my wedding essentially. How old were you when you were like planning this? Yeah, 32. All right. So you weren't like 22.

No, no, no. Not a child bride. Yeah. So you were like, I'm capable of like making decisions. Yes. And, you know, I think that a lot of people like prize getting married young,

but I think the longer you can weigh, the more money you can contribute yourself. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. The more you know about the world, the better. Yeah. Yeah.

I definitely think that's where my perspective was coming from. Because I think sometimes when you're getting married, you know, people, people kind of start treating you like a child, like, trying to like tell you what to do. And like family members are kind of like acting like parents again. And you're like, wait, this is weird. I haven't lived with you in in years yet like you're kind of weighing in about my life choices in this way that makes me feel really juvenile.

So I think that because I was in my early 30s, like that's why I was able to write a book from the perspective of like I'm an adult and I make my own choices and everyone else should too. And then for you, you kind of feeling like he didn't have your back at points and you like weren't on the same team. I mean, right. Did you work through that during the process or was that like tension? And then I mean, we we wanted to talk about this. I mean, you know, the couple in the first episode of the wedding coach, like they weren't having sex, you know. And yeah. The whole point was like, guys, like the wedding, the marriage is about the relationship.

We don't, we don't have it without the relationship, you know. And did you guys get to that? point was, was, oh yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Yeah, I mean, the romance, like, the romance was so sort of, like, beaten out of our relationship during that time. Like, the types of fights we were having were, they were just, like, so visceral. And it was just, yeah, I mean, now, I mean, I can say this, like, we are now separated that that happened during the pandemic. And I agree, it's very weird to be a wedding coach who potentially is going to be divorced, but also what a modern tale it is too. You know, guys?

I mean, really, what? It's not the how to not get divorced coach. It is not and it's also not the marriage coach. Yeah. But also, I think it's kind of good. I mean, okay, look, it's not good. I'm not like, yay, I got separated. Like, that's not how I feel.

But, but I do think that like my mission, though, on some level for that show is to like help people not make the same mistakes I did. And I am definitely trying to use my foresight for good. So it's been, yeah, it was a really volatile time. It sucked. It was really, really hard. I think that it's important to, like, tell people that. And you're not the first person I've ever heard.

Like somebody very close to me said, you know, the worst time in our 10-year relationship was planning the wedding. It's the only time I ever wanted to leave her. It's the only time I felt like I really didn't like this person. And this is a couple that I think is super. strong and has a great marriage and has for years. But I think it's important to normalize it this stuff. First of all, put it in perspective, it's just a party and it can make you really hate each other. So it's tough. You know, I'm glad that you talk about it. Yeah. And it's also like,

you know, it's funny because I feel like the narrative around it is like, yeah, it's stressful in the lead up and then it all melts away once you get to the wedding. And it's like, yeah, I wouldn't say it melts away. I would say that you were distracted because there are a lot of people there so you're not thinking about it. But it's not like, oh, I can forget it all. It's like, no, it still happened. Like, this isn't eternal sunshine. Like, I can't mind erase, you know, all of these horrible fights and the things we said to each other. Like, that doesn't, that's just not how it works. You put your resentment on pause, maybe, but it's still there. Well, also, there's nothing worth a year of fighting with your partner. Absolutely. Nothing. No. No wedding. It's, it's not.

ever going to be worth all the fights. It's one day. It's one party. It happens so fast. It's over into five hours. And then you look back on it as like, we fucked up our relationship over this. Like, I think people really need to put that into perspective. Like, we're fighting and there's so much stress and there's so much tension. We're not fucking. Whatever it is. And then that's all just going to get fixed after this five hour party. Like it's, you know, or this weekend. Like, it's never worth it. Nor is it worth going in debt. Nor is it worth that you can't buy a home now, you know, all those things too. So. Yeah. And also I think the biggest thing, like my, probably my biggest takeaway. And obviously, I'm not saying that my experience is like an example

of everyone's experience. I do know people who had a relatively easy wedding planning process. But I think the biggest lesson I took away was just like, use it as an opportunity to learn how to like unite as a couple and set the boundary against everybody else trying to infiltrate your bubble. It's really important that you two are aligned. And, like, like to me, if you can really like keep that as a philosophy throughout, you, you probably will be fine. If you really both are like on each other's team super hard. And I think that family can come in and kind of like try to pull you guys apart. And it's, it's tough because you're so used to like, you're used to your parents kind of like calling the shot. So it's easy to sort of regress to that

time when that happened, even if you're an adult. And so yeah, yeah, I think that was the biggest things. Like I wish I had just known how to like work as a unit and work as a team and like put up that boundary to make sure we like protected our unit. Absolutely. I think that is super important advice. I also just wonder, I mean, you know, it's not as deep as like wanting children or where you want to live. But like I feel like sometimes it's worth talking about how you picture your wedding day prior to even getting engaged. Like I think or even if not that, then at least discussing it with your new fiance before any family gets involved. Like I mean, kind of drawing. Great. I love that. Like drawing the boundaries before mom and dad from both sides start coming in and

talking about giving money. Like you have to draw those like hard lines in the sand. If you're like, we want to elope. That's what we're doing. We don't need your money or we're happy to take it. But we are getting married in Mexico. We've always wanted this. This is what we're doing. It's going to be 50 people. Because I think when you. go into it all like, we don't know what we want. Then parents see an opening to start pushing all of what they want on you. Like, not even that they have to be super overbearing, but if you, if you're like, we don't know, we're open, then they see the opening. So I think that I would say, I mean, get engaged, enjoy it for some time, you know, and then sit down and figure out what you guys

want without parents and getting involved. And then you tell them. And again, this is, this is age too. I mean, you're not, you're going to, you're going to be younger in your 20s. you're going to be like, mom, tell me what to do. Yes, that's true. I feel like you become the unit when you sit down and have the talk about what you both want without anyone else's thoughts and feelings and interventions and, you know. Yes. Yeah, and like if you do have family that's overbearing, I mean, I'm sure other people are not going to feel this way and maybe easier said than done.

But I do think it's like it's kind of your responsibility to make sure you keep your partner feeling comfortable. Yeah, and keeping the family in check. Like, I do think that's kind of the, like, what you have to do for each other. If, like, family is saying something negative about your partner, like, shield them from that. Like, keep them away from that. That's not appropriate. And it's also, like, that's between the two of you to work out. So, I mean, boundaries are everything.

Yeah. Boundary, shout out to boundaries. Yeah. And I love the United Front. I love what Ashley said about, like, make a plan before you tell people. That's a great piece of advice. So true. I was 27 years old.

I wasn't paying for my wedding. I had no idea how to plan a party. We got engaged on June 14th. We were already having meetings with our family on June 17th. I only know the dates because it was my birthday. And I just got steamrolled at every turn and like everything I said. But again, I was young and I wasn't paying for it. But I just felt like it got to the point where I was like,

you guys just let me know when and where to show up because like I was just getting stimled by everybody. And, you know, maybe my advice for that is, yes, have the conversation ahead of time. Maybe wait a little longer until you have a couple more dollars. and you can contribute a little more so that everybody's not just saying, well, we're paying for this and this is our wedding.

Wait, Raina, did you get married? No, girl. Okay, okay. Okay. I didn't know if you got married and we're on the other side of it now. No, I had booked the whole... I mean, for people who are listening for years, they know,

but the second version is I got engaged in June, we booked the whole wedding, had everything planned. He left me the day after our engagement party right around Halloween. What the fuck? Yeah, actually, he got married this week. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. on a Tuesday on Zoom.

Oh, wow. I mean, the romance. Wow. He was like, we do it our way. He was old as time. He was like, you know, we've just been doing it our way always. I'm like, you're, okay. Our way is Zoom on a Tuesday.

Okay. She is, yeah, I mean, that feels like karma. Oh, yeah. Zoom on a Tuesday is karma. But, you know, I do wish I would have done more of what Ashley said, which is that him and I had been like, you know, here's what we're, here's what we want. Here's what we can contribute financially.

here's what we ideally think we should do. Because otherwise it sort of spirals out of control. It's not yours anymore. Yeah. Or if you don't care. If you're like, I don't care about this. Mom, mom and dad, you guys have the money. You plan it.

Just tell me where to go. We're chill. You know, I mean, like that's really, I think that's a little rare, but some people don't care. And they're like, we really don't care about centerpieces and shit, but our parents want to have this big high society wedding.

And so we're in love and we're just going to chill out and we're just going to show up. So, yeah. I mean, that I do, there is something kind of nice. about that. If you're, if you are that personality type that is fine with that, there is something kind of beautiful about just being like, yeah, like go for it. Like you guys handle this. Yeah. Yeah. So when you guys got, I mean, when the wedding was over, did you want a honeymoon right away? I mean, did you have to kind of start repairing some of the damage. Yeah. There was even

some weirdness like the night before the wedding. I know this wasn't your question, but just to like back it up three honeymoon. But there was something at the rehearsal dinner. So our, our rabbi got lost coming from the rehearsal going back to the hotel where we were having the rehearsal dinners. The rehearsal was at the venue and then everything else was at the hotel. And she like got lost. And so we were sitting around waiting for her because we were going to sign our katuba right before the rehearsal dinner. And then she showed up and the rehearsal dinner had already started. And I am Jewish, but I didn't grow up religious. I grew up in Texas. So the Catuba signing for me personally was like not, it didn't have this sort of like

weight to it emotionally for me. I was doing it for my husband. So when we got to, when we finally got to sign the Catuba, I was kind of like, can we speed this up? Because like, I want to go to this party that I paid for. And like everyone I know is here. And they all flew in from out of town. And like, he just was so hurt by it. He's like, this is a big moment for me. I went to so many Jewish weddings growing up. I'm Jewish. This is a big deal signing the Katuba and like you're just trying to sort of like get through it. And like so even that I was just like

oh this feels so bad. Like it all just feel so bad. It's not even like who's right or wrong. It was just like, ugh. It's like not in the same team. I mean, you said it earlier. It's just like your word, you're going to clash at every turn. Yeah. And you probably would have

appreciated some like acknowledgement of the fact like I'm doing this for you. I don't even want to do this. Right. A hundred percent. I want to go be with my friends and family, which is also a really admirable priority. You're not trying to go do lines in the bathroom. No, no. You know, it wasn't like you're like, I got to, you know, we want to go see your people.

I wasn't like trying to go suck off the cater waiter. I wanted to go hang out with friends. That's how I'm trying to live. I mean, no, no, no shade to the person who does that. I'm sure. But I mean, especially a religious thing. Probably get free mozzarella sticks out of it. Oh my God.

At least a free drink, like a free shot there. like no shots and you're like at least I get a shot because I suck them off. But a religious thing especially I think is like, okay, I agree. Wait, can I just say to say that sentence and then go, but then the religious thing to go from dick sucking to religion is a beautiful transition. I just want to make sure that that's my favorite. I went from my favorite thing to something that I hate. Yeah.

Yeah. The religious thing also, I just think it's like, it's amazing that you would do that for him. it's not like a superfluous thing. It's a really important thing that you agreed to do. I also agreed to get married by a rabbi, which I did not want to do. It made me physically uncomfortable, just because I'm not religious.

So it's a great thing to do for somebody and then to feel sort of like it's not enough. Oh, that was one of the biggest things along the way. Also, like, my husband grew up in a very tight-knit, predominantly Jewish community. And I grew up in Dallas, Texas, where there are lots of different types of religions, most of them Christian.

So we just came from very different backgrounds. And weddings for me in Texas look a lot different than weddings on Long Island. They have, you know, it's just, it's almost like a machine on Long Island. It's like a certain type of band, a certain type of cocktail hour, tons of stations, food from around the world,

always in a catering hall. You know, this is the rabbi. This is where you do it. Like everything was just like, this is how you do weddings. Whereas I was like, weddings can look a lot of different ways. Like, you don't have to have a band.

You can have a DJ. You can play your iPod. Like, whatever it is. I don't know. I think a lot of that like it has to be this way. It has to look this way. I was always like, does it? Like I don't even, I can't even relate to that because there was no sort of standard to Texas weddings that I had experienced. I mean, that's a conversation you have to have with your partner. I mean, do you want this traditional buy the book wedding? But first of all, I have

so many issues with so many things about weddings. Like when we were, I just, you know, married my brother and his wife. And it was like, I'm not saying who gives this woman to this man. I refuse. Horrifying. I hope that if I wore to ever get married. Obviously, I would think that I would be with somebody that feels the same way about me is like, you can do whatever the fuck. I mean, it's just like, all these things are so antiquated. So it's tough if you have a person, it's like, well, this is how it's done. And it's like, who said? Who decided this? I think my new, my new theory now being on completely the other side of not only my wedding, but my marriage, I think that the litmus test for is this the right relationship

and is this the right person to be with, is them saying to you, I don't care what we do, big wedding, small wedding, whatever it is, I just want you. That to me is like, that's when you know.

And also starting from that place, you can discuss a big wedding, you can discuss a small wedding, you can figure out what works for the two of you, but knowing that that's your baseline and that someone is willing to literally do whatever because they just want this and the two of you, that to me is like,

then you're good. then you'll figure it out. Like, 100%. Any other departure from that, honestly, I do think is slightly red flaggy. 100% because centerpieces don't matter and cocktail hour of food does not matter. A tablecloths and all the shit does not matter. You know, what matters is what happens the day after that wedding. No one just said to me flat out, none of this matters.

So that probably would be helpful advice. Yeah, absolutely. But I do think that it's really more, it's not about problems coming up. Because, I mean, planning an event is stressful. and I'm not, by the way, I'm not anti-wedding. I'm not saying, like, don't do it, don't do it. I think it's more about, like, how do you guys handle the problems as a team?

And are you able to overcome them in a way that has some, like, resolution to it and you don't go to bed feeling, like, icky or resentful? So to me, it's almost like, yes, plans for, like, the process to sort of, like, be inflamed and have flare-ups, but, like, really pay close attention

to how you guys handle those flare-ups. It's not about being flare-up free. It's about, like, overcoming them in a way that makes the two of you stronger, I think. And I think you see people break up. I mean, I think the... Oh, yeah. I mean, I wanted to call it off so many times.

Oh, my God. And I was like, I can, I can't. The train's leaving the station and I'm on the train. Like, it was just like... That is how I felt. I remember we were having this crazy fight. I remember standing in our doorway and I said to him,

I feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a gun. I hate this. I hate this whole experience. But I felt exactly like that. I've said this a million. The train of left the station. Like it was happening. And Raina, that breaks my heart. I know exactly that feeling. But saying goodbye or leaving was never an option in my mind. Like I was like, I'm 27. Everybody gets married. I know. Everybody is engaged. No one's ever broken engagement ever. Like this is what we're doing. I will deal with not really like being super happy the day after the wedding. And I didn't know that it was an option to not do that. I didn't tell you with me. It's also another great piece of advice. I think, I'm like, it's literally my own advice.

I'm like, it's great advice. But another piece of advice that I do find helpful, I should say, is that if you really think calling off a wedding is that big of a deal, the truth is everybody is so used to, like, if you're an adult, you've, you've lived a life. You've, you've seen R-rated movies. You've seen shit go down. You know, like, you should be able to handle someone calling off their wedding. And if someone has, like, a serious problem with that, they, like, are very, very sheltered. Like, I think people get over stuff pretty quickly. Everyone's pretty self-involved. You're not going to- Yeah. No one cares that much. No one cares about you. And everybody knows you.

In a good way. In a good way. In a good way. But everybody has knows 100 people that have called after their wedding and their engagement. I'm not saying, do it. I think what you did is great. I think it's great to go to therapy and be like maybe we love each other. Let's work through this.

But, you know, everybody knows people that have called off their wedding. What's the alternative? I mean, the alternative is that you get divorced. It's even worse. And then, you know, we had a guest on a few weeks ago. She's a single mother. She called off her wedding. I was about to listen to that.

that episode. Okay, I'm going to listen to it after this. Yeah, I mean, to her child's father a month before the wedding. I mean, she was just like, I knew it wasn't right. And she also recently broke up with her. She got engaged again. She broke up with him. Like, just, if it doesn't feel right, it's not right. And so I think that it's never too late. I hate that that's the takeaway. But you're so right. Like, it's good takeaway. Oh, normalize it, you know? Normalize it. I can dematigitize it. I can name five weddings right now that I know of that got called off. And it's also like, you don't even really owe anybody an explanation because they just, I mean, I do love other people's drama. Like, I do want to know the truth. But like, if I get a message that this wedding that I got to save the

date to isn't happening anymore, I'm like, whatever, one less dress I need to buy. You know, it's just kind of like no one cares that much. You know who it's tragic for? It's tragic for like parents who are like kind of sitting around, like empty nestor type parents who are sitting around. They were really counting on it. They were excited about it. That is who it's hard for. I think it's hard for the parents, but friends, no, guests traveling and coming in to be at the wedding. No. You're paying, whatever. Okay, the alternative is your parents pay for the wedding and you get separated. Exactly. Exactly. I know somebody who was getting married and he said to me like, we just, I don't think neither us wanted to do it, but we thought, like you said, traded left the station and we would just

figure it out. And they had been together for years. They were married for six months. And they were just like, we just shouldn't have done it. And it's like, all that money is just like lit on fire. Like, Yeah, I think about that. Lit on fire is exactly how I think about the money I spent on my wedding. I'm like, oh, I, it just dumped it all into upgrading chairs that no one even sat in because they were walking around, talking to people. Like, what are you thinking? There's a, who's, I was listening to this other podcast.

I can't even recall it. Like, gone to my head, I couldn't remember. But bottom line, I forget what even the term is, but the example they used was, let's say you, like, bought a flight to somewhere and then you just. side you didn't want to go on the trip, but you say to yourself, like, well, I already about the flight. So then you go on the trip and then you go to Vegas. Let's for, I think that's the example that you spend thousands of more dollars. So you would have just lost $500 in the flight or you lost $2,500 because you went and blew a bunch of money on this trip that you didn't really want to go on.

So it's like the same thing. I think people get wrapped up and like, but we already did deposits. And it's like, okay, but so what you don't do more things. You lose more things. Yes. You lose a few thousand here. I mean, not that that's pocket change. It's a lot of. of money, but like compared to the actual amount and then on top of it a potential divorce. So I think like Rayne and I, the amount of, we've, we've lit money on fire. We've canceled trips and we've had those conversations of like, how we already paid for this part of it. But it's like, what's the alternative?

We just keep paying more and more and more and more. Okay, here's a hot tip. If you're, if you got to cancel a wedding, what my dad did was because he put the deposit down on everything. My dad call all the places and said that her fiancee left her. Oh, that'll work. That's so bad for me. Wow.

That's a great tip. Yeah. Listen. Holy shit. Did I love that. Whether or not it's true, just lie. My dad got all of his, people are like, oh, this is so awkward. Just give him the money.

Oh, God. I love that. Yeah, just give them a little taste of a sob story. Like, here you go. Here's your cash. So, Jamie, how long were you married? Or, I mean, when was the wedding? Sorry, that was the wedding.

The wedding was in 2016. And, yeah, so four years, five, four years? Okay. I just wanted to. I didn't know if it was like 2019. Like I wasn't sure. So, yeah. It's four years.

Yeah. Okay. No, we weren't the couple that got that split up after six months. But yeah. And also I think our situation is, I feel, I feel grateful because he is really like just such a great person and really is like my best friend. And we, I mean, I know like people say that like, he's my best friend. But like really is.

And like he also worked on the wedding coach. He was the comedy producer for the wedding coach. And so there's like, yeah, like I just honestly, like on a comedy level, he is so funny and like so smart and like just so helpful. And so yeah, now we're sort of in this another like sort of modern story where it's like, okay, we were married. Now we're separated. But we worked on a show about weddings and you work on my show and we might be divorced and we might be working on a wedding show divorce. Like it's just so, it's so goofy, but also like it just feels like real life to me. But it feels like we always said this recently too of like who gets to determine what a successful relationship is.

What I see here is that you guys have a great friendship. You've had you've had love in this relationship obviously. And then kind of all the drama with the wedding led you to have a book and a show. And like all this stuff is kind of stemmed from it. And now you work with him on the show. like it all works out. You know, Ray and I always say. I think that's really nice.

I like the way you put that. Like if she wouldn't have gotten broken up with fire fiancé, if I hadn't had this horrible breakup, we wouldn't have this show. We never would have met. We never would have met. I would have been like a wife and a mother in New Jersey, which is a great thing to be.

It just wasn't my path in life. But like, who's to say it's not a success that I found a man who was a great partner to me for four years. And I loved him and I learned a lot. I don't hate him. I wish him well. And, you know, even if you were together for eight years and divorced and six,

months, that's still a person you found that you loved. Like, I totally. And I think that's such a great way to look at it because I do think like, you know, there's sort of like societal pressure to sort of like define what a successful relationship looks like. And it's defined by, you know, you get married and you're by each other's side until the day you die. And like, it's like, that's it.

Like, otherwise it's a failure. And it's like, that is so unbelievably untrue. and not only untrue, that's like Disney fantasy untrue. I mean, sure, there are those people. My grandparents were those people like super in love until the day my grandmother passed away, like truly joined at the hip, obsessed with each other. Yes, those stories do exist.

And those are a version of a successful relationship. But it's not the only successful relationship. Like, I really value my husband, my wasband, whatever we want to call him. I do. I mean, he's like a huge part of my life and he's family. me. So it's like, yeah. And I think he, I think the fact that we can look at it framed that way, I think it just makes both of us feel a lot more content about the fact that it's ending. Like I think we're able to still cling on to something because it's not like it's gone. It just

evolved. It changed. Uh-huh. And it's beautiful if you could grow with somebody for 40, 50, 60 years. But maybe you're in love with a different person every decade. And, you know, in my 20s. We live a long ass time now. Absolutely. When I was in my 20s, that person was right for me. I'm seeing somebody now. I think it's fantastic. I wouldn't have chosen him 10 years ago. And I'm so happy to like choose him now. We'll see in my last one week. I don't know. But like I'm happy this week. So like why not enjoy that? Absolutely. That's huge. Yeah. I love that we covered that. Me too. Yeah. That's such an important conversation. I think your relationship's amazing. All this wedding bullshit now that's your career. I mean, who knew? Like it's just like who. Who? had a more successful wedding planning than that. You get a book deal out of it. Now you got a fucking Netflix show and you're like friends with the guy. Like it's just great.

No, the sequel is going to be like five minute episodes where Jamie's just like, don't do it. Just don't do it. She's like, call it off. Yeah, let's do. Could we Netflix do a show about calling off wedding? Like calling them off when they're in the planning. Well, we have one episode in our show where that does happen, which is lovely.

I'm really glad that they like let us do that because I think there was a discussion about like being like, should we, should we end it that way? And I was like, no, we have to. Like, I don't want everything in a wedding. But I really want, I'm already thinking of like the spinoff show. And I'm like, I would love to be the separation code. The divorce coach, yes. Man, I would love that.

I think it would be so huge. Like, I would watch the shit out of that. I'm not, even if I don't host it, I just would watch the shit out of that show. No, you should host it. Okay, I want to. I want to. I think that you can, like, separate it in a positive way. Like, what a dream to separate from your partner and to speak of them the way that you speak of

your partner and you're just like, this is my friend and I respect them and like I feel okay about this. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think I and also like I'm sure, you know, in certain circumstances, obviously every separation is different. But like I would really like to like be there for the people who are really like suffering from it. Like if one person got left by the other person, I would love to like help the person who's really like being broken up with like see the light through the tunnel and be like, oh yeah, it wasn't right. Like you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Like, it would just be nice to sort of, like, be a shoulder to lean on because I think that's

obviously, like, a very hard thing to go through. Absolutely. I feel like that's what we try to do with, like, we've done a number of breakup episodes now, you know, and we are very vocal about, like, I thought I was going to die. That was the worst pain of my life. It is the worst pain I've ever felt. You know, like. It's a blind siding breakup.

There's nothing worse. Yeah. And like, but like, you'll be fine. You'll get through it. We'll be fine. We did an episode on grief. Like all this stuff, I think it just helps for people to see. other people's experiences and what they've gone through

and that they came out on the other side. So, yeah. Do you want to maybe talk, should we talk about bachelor's at parties? You've like funny stuff you want to say about like planning a bachelor's app. Oh my God. Always have one. You said that. I did say that on the show.

Definitely always have one. And like, look, everyone has a different version of like what they think is fun for a bachelorette. I know a lot of people just like rent a house and hang out with their girlfriends and then other people go to Vegas. Like, whatever it is, like, just be really honest with yourself about the version of fun you like to have. That would probably be my best advice.

I wasn't like crazy in college. So I feel like a lot of my adulthood is like trying to go crazy now, like before I have kids. And so I was like, it has to be Vegas. Like I got to get fucking lit and like go crazy and like club really hard and just like drink a lot. And like it was fun. And I'm glad I did that.

But I also think I would have had a really nice time just like renting a house in Palm Springs and like, sitting around a pool. Yes, like your version, Las Vegas would be my nightmare. Like, I was never... Totally get that. I've never been a club girl.

I'm not that cool. I have two drinks at a nap. Neither. I just, I mean, Ashley would be in bed by like nine. Well, I don't... You would jump in a conga line. It'd be dancing your ass off in a bikini.

I would be asleep by 4 p.m. Well, I just think the one of the most fun bachelor parties I ever went to. I think I was 26 or 27. It was in Miami. We went to the club every night. We, like, raged all day. I've like, fucked this guy in the ocean.

And then how to get out. the ocean as the sun was coming up and all the old people were on the beach. I was like, I'm naked. Like, it was wild. So it was the best. That's what we'll do it actually. We can't speed through that. I need a couple of details on that.

100%. So wait. Okay. So you fucked in the ocean. Yeah. After we went to mint. Okay. Did the salt water like hurt your vagina at all?

I was just so drunk. Like I don't think. I don't think like I've, I've had sex in the ocean a couple times. I mean, I feel like it feels a little better. in South Beach. It's a little clearer. You know, it's not... Ashley can't recommend that ocean to fuck in enough. But I think I don't think there's really anything too wrong with that.

I don't think any sex in water is great. You know, your natural lubrication's kind of gone. But it's like, it's fun. I think it's better than a hot tub, probably for your pussy. But like, I just, yeah, it was quick. It was short-lived. Like, we were just drunk and having sex and realized the sun was coming up and our clothes were on the beach.

And, I mean, you know, sunrise. on the beach is senior citizens are out. They're walking their dogs. I mean, we had to emerge from the ocean naked and get our clothes. I mean, thank God our clothes were still there. But my other favorite one was my best girlfriend, Kate's, Bachelorette.

I mean, we were in our 30s. We were past that. No penis, anything. We went to Sonoma. We did like wine tasting, you know, it was just like. Beautiful. And we didn't even call,

I don't even really like the word bachelor at this age. We just usually call like a girl's trip, a pre-wed trip. I mean, I think my brother's fiancee or now wife, she just did, you know, it's COVID, but she did a lake. house with all their girlfriends or somebody's a cabin or whatever. And they, you know, it's just,

it is so much of age, but also some people are never Vegas people. They're never club people. And it's so much of that is like admitting what you want and not letting your friends get carried away. Yeah. I think, yeah, it's so funny that you say that you went to one in Miami because I'm about to go to one in Miami for my friend who is in her 30s. And yeah, I'm very excited. I have not been to a bachelorette in a while. And I'm just kind of like, oh, wow. Like, I've also never been to Miami. Oh my gosh. I'll buckle up. What's Miami light? Tell me. We'll be there in a few weeks. Yeah, once the date. It's in July. July 9th is the week. That's, first of all, that's my birthday. Um, let's go to make of all. Hey. Let's crash with Bachelorette. No, I'm not going to come. I'm going to Miami in July, bitch. You don't know how hot. It's

so hot. Oh, shit. I'm going to die. Am I going to die. You can't go to Miami in July. July and August. Are you serious? Yeah. We didn't know that. It's not okay. You're at the equator. You're going to die. Wait. How is like Miami even legal at that time? We don't know. It is 80 degrees during the day in February in Miami. But I have left. We used to go in June every year and one year I left. I was like, I'm too hot.

Like I couldn't live. Do you have curly hair? No. It's kind of wavy. Why is it going to be full on? It's going to be as big as possible. Okay. Okay. The thing I do like about Miami as in July is that it's empty. Yeah, definitely nobody else will be there. I love Miami, by the way. We're obsessed with Miami.

I've been a hundred times. Love. It's the place I've been to the most. It's like a second home. Yeah. No one talks about my. I mean, I, yeah, I don't, which I know.

I have heard you guys talk about Florida, but I have not thought about Miami. I don't know why. I just haven't been. I don't know. Okay. Here's what I like about Miami and other destinations. Like, I would do mine in Charleston,

but I love the Q West. I'm obsessed Key West. I love a destination where you can sort of choose your adventure. There's like fancy, boogie things you can do. There's laid back. casual things. You can go to a club. We have a boat guy for you. Yeah.

You can lay on the beach. You can go on a boat. I like that type of Bachelorette where there's just like, choose your adventure, pick a ton of stuff. Miami will be great. You'll have a lot of time. You're going to get heat stroke. But other than that. Wow. But yeah. I mean, I think Bachelorettes, I've been to, I don't know. I mean, dozens. I planned to so many. I mean, we've done the full-blown penis cakes, penis straws, penis everything. Like, and then then you just kind of

kind of do ones that are super chill. Like I just, but I just love, like, don't not do one. Like, even if it is just everybody rents a really cool Airbnb somewhere, you know, whether it's at the beach or at the lake or in the mountains or whatever, it just don't like not do those things because you're too busy playing in your wedding. Uh-huh.

It's a special. Yeah, it is special. And I also think, even if you think like, I don't need one. It's like, yeah, but you probably do need like a girl's trip.

Like, it's probably been a while since you've just like hung out with all your favorite women in your life. So, like, if you can even look at it that way, it's just like a really nice thing to do for yourself. Absolutely. We did an episode years ago. Do you remember the name of it? It's called Always the Bridesmaid.

And we talked about, more about, like, budgeting. And, like, if you can't afford to go to your friend's bachelor, it was more of the, for the perspective about the guest or the bridesmaid. But I have a question for you guys and what do you think, like, in terms of the guest list for the Bachelorette, like, what if your friends don't like each other? Do you invite them anyways? I mean, you know, that, that is a thing where it's like, you really have to do right by yourself in that situation. If it's going to be super fucking uncomfortable for you, then don't do that. I would tell the person who's making it uncomfortable to not come.

Yeah, that's what I would do as well. Yeah, I think that's what I would do as well. I mean, or I'd be like, maybe, maybe, maybe I would be like, okay, let's try to hash this out before the Bachelorette because I really don't want to be in a place where I have to not invite someone or choose or, you know, honestly, I'd probably just not invite both of you, and that sucks for me because I love you guys.

So, yeah, I think that's where I would land with that. is like, I might just be like, let's have an uncomfortable conversation and like get this over with because I need everybody to get along. And one thing, I mean, I just thought about this recently was my brother's now wife. It's like so cute to say. She had a small, just bachelorette with her friends. They run in a house somewhere, but like she didn't invite me, which like I can't stress enough that how like I appreciate that.

You know, like I'm a lot older than them. You know, I love her and all her friends obviously. We're super close. It's not, we have no tension. she's incredible. Like it just is like, I don't really want to go. I want you to go to talk about fucking my brother. You know, I'm like the mom.

Like, I don't really want to be there. You know, right. I'm still the sister of your husband. Totally. You know, we really have a friendship. And now, of course, she's my sister-in-law. And, you know, every family's different. Like, every family dynamic is different.

I've been to bacheloretts where the sister of the groom is there and it's great. And she's really good friends with the bride, whatever. And then I've also been to ones where the sister of the groom is there. And it is a little weird. I went to one where, She just didn't really know anyone else. And it was just, it felt really off. But again, this is just, I cannot speak for all families.

Every family's different. You're going to know what's best for you. I just want to say that it was like something that happened with me and my family. And it was so the right choice. And so not a big deal. Her and I texted during The Bachelorette. You know, I was like, oh my God. Like, hope you guys are having so much fun.

You know, like, it's cool. But that was just, I just, I want to bring it up. And I think that might sound weird to some people. But I don't think you always need to feel pressured to, invite all these people you think you're supposed to invite. You know what I mean? Like, I'm the same way. I don't need to hear about her fucking math.

So I, and my sister-in-law did the same thing. My sister-in-law like had like, we went to a big dinner in Pittsburgh. I didn't need to like go on a trip with her friends. We're not the same age. I'm not friends with those people. I didn't need it.

And I don't feel bad. No, I wouldn't. I think that, yeah, also never underestimate the power of like not inviting someone. Like people are usually like, oh good. I don't.

I'm not obligated. Cool. thank you for giving me this gift. 100%. Right. Okay, let's shift gears and talk about hooking up at a wedding, single people out there,

how to hook up at a wedding. What do you have to say? As far as, like, I really think there should be more help. This is a tall order for brides, but it would, or for grooms as well, it would be nice if it was a little more overt

the attempt to get your single friends together. Yes, tell me who it's going to be single at this wedding. I honestly think it should, I think that. I think that it should be like kind of called out. Like not even like a hey on the DL. Like here are the people are saying. I think it should be a fucking list serve that you put out to all your.

Hey guys. You guys, you know, you guys should meet each other. Yes. Go off. No one would be embarrassed. No one would give a shit.

I need a shared Excel doc that has everybody that's going to be. Totally. I want to be shared with them. Instagram accounts. You can have a sense of humor about it too. You can be like, hey guys, like all my single friends like here's who you should fuck at the wedding.

If I received that, I'd be like this, this is so considerate. Like, I feel like it's like Bachelor in Paradise. Like they all, they all talk to each other before. They get to go on. They know who they're going to look for it in paradise. Like, it should feel like that.

Like, I feel like as a single person, I shouldn't show up at a wedding for a close friend or a family member and be like, I don't know who that hot single guy is. I should know. You should have told me. Like, right. Well, in my wedding, I, there were like, there, I definitely was asked by a lot of people. Like, is that person single? Hey, is your friend Kate single?

is your friend John's single? Right. And it's like, I was doing questions. I was happy to field the questions, but from doing it, I was like, oh, yeah, it's shitty of me to like not let people know in advance. Like, I hear me out. Maybe, maybe this is a made of honor role. Like, maybe we need to assign this to someone in the bridal party.

Like, let's get a list together of all the singles and let's figure out how we mass distribute this. And so people can start scoping each other out because it's a great opportunity to meet somebody. They're already vetted by your friends. friends, they're there. You know, not that they can't be a terrible person, but like, you know, there's a common connection there.

And it's a great opportunity to meet people. And I just feel like there's always so much going on at weddings. I feel like people can pass you by, you know, there's just all of a sudden, it's the end of the night and you're like, I wish I would have to like talk to that guy, but I didn't have the end. I didn't know who he was. It's like, we got to get ahead of this. What is the alternative that we corral all these women on the dance floor?

We just get all the single cows on the dance floor. We throw a bouquet at them. We're like, men, pick which one you want. when they do that. That is so, that's like so alienating. I have not done that forever. I mean, I'll go up and do it forever.

I'll be married. I'd still go up there and go catch the bouquet. No, I just haven't, I've been to a wedding where they've done. I haven't been to a wedding where they've done that a long time. It's so odd to me.

And yes, people need weddings. All that my brother's best friend is marrying my sister-in-law's best friend. They met at my brother's wedding. Oh, wow. That's so cool. I know.

So, yeah, it's a perfect place to meet. I love that a bride's maid would do this. Let's normalize. Also, you could also just do cups. Like, I also thought about that. I was like, it would be funny if like, you know, like single people had a different color cop or something if you want to be more subtle about it. Like maybe you just like paint their front of their chest with like a big red stamp

when they come into a light. It's a singles mixer. I love this. But if there's like solo cups that are like red and then other ones are blue or whatever and like single people get one color. I don't know. Something has to happen. We have to change this because it's just not okay.

I'm with you. I'm like going to this wedding in July and I really would like to bring a date. then Raina was also like, well, is there anybody at the wedding that you might be interested in? I mean, it's a very, it's a friend that's really successful high power guy. So we're like, that's the kind of caliber of guide one anyway. Like we were talking about it. And I was like, I should be able to find this out. You know, this info should be available to me on the wedding website.

Like, can we get, like, can the not start or like Zola start doing a little thing like, here's the single guest? Absolutely. With our Instagram handles and we can start stalking away. Because I think that single people that are really looking and they want a date, you can make it awkward. You can literally, you know, put two people on a group DM and be like, hey, we think you guys should meet each other before the wedding.

And then you're like, guys, come on. That's embarrassing. But like, low-key, you love it. Like, make it awkward. I don't care. Well, also, like, doing that. I mean, like, your wedding is technically like live action hinge. It's like, yes.

You are, you know that these people know your friends. Like, everybody knows each other. It's like friends and friends of friends. Like, you just make it happen. Like, make it work for the single people. also not to make it like too serious but like weddings are so shitty for single people sometimes and it is so uncomfortable

and like I know it's not your job as a bride to make sure that every single person feels good but like what a nice little touch I feel like people spend so much time with these little touches you talked about it in the show a little bit this girl was like going to ride it on a canoe or have a fortune teller like what a nice little touch to spend an hour

and make the people that are coming by themselves like feel a little bit better I like it's true I do too I would love if like Zola or or any of those sites just did it, just like, didn't even announce it. They're just like, here it is. And it's just like built into the wedding website. And then it's like, oh, I guess we should fill this out.

But also, you know, this is just me. But like, if I were sitting around with my fiance, I would love to discuss who could potentially be matches at the wedding. Oh, it's my favorite thing. Who doesn't love to play matchmaker? Okay, hear me out. You know the car that they send where they're like, how many people are coming? What do you want is your dinner choice?

I think there should also be like a box on that thing. Let's make it digital. Are you single? Are you looking? Do you want to fuck somebody at this wedding? Let's make it all digital. Are you vaccinated? Yes. You know, like... Yes, I want the chicken.

Yeah. I like the fillet and I've had the Pfizer. So... And then I'd like the D. Okay. The positions I like are X, Y, and Z. Yes, I think we should do this digitally. Yeah, I've had my first shot. I've had my second shot and I want to get my third shot. And it's going to be of come. And I would like to get my ass eight. So those are what I'm looking for.

But stuff, yes or no? But stuff, yes or no. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe to wrap up, I feel like we would be remiss to not bring this up, but a lot of people had to move or cancel their wedding because of COVID. And Ashley's brother and wife had some good advice about, like, how to deal with, like, telling people that they're not coming because you've, like, downsized the size or moved it or something. Then just sort of, like, how to, you know, manage that.

So you, the show was all before COVID. right. So the show was pre, yeah, the show was pre-COVID. What did you, what did they end up doing? I don't know why I can't talk. What did you? What did you? Yeah. I actually was the backbone of this wedding anyways. Girl, I did so much. Tell me. I didn't have to do this. But they basically, they pretty much had to cut in half. It was really touch and go there for a while. Like there was a point where they thought it might have had to be cut down like by two, like a quarter. But it was about half and they did it all personally. I mean, they sent texts. And my brother. show me a screenshot of someone who is, you know, someone that I know that I would have loved to be at the wedding, but he just, you know, he wasn't, he didn't make the cut per COVID. And it just said like, you know, I hope you understand. We've had to downsize and we'd love to see you. But, you know, when everybody was super cool about it, they didn't obviously get any pushback. But they did do, I mean, they said it took a few, you know, a few hours, few day, over a few days of just like reaching out to all those people individually. And I mean, you could obviously do, you know, the height of COVID. You could have obviously done a mass email.

like I don't think anybody would have been offended. I think it could have done anything. I think people were being very understanding. But they just reached out to everybody personally. So, um, nice. Yeah. I think that COVID in a strange backwards way, it can be kind of helpful with weddings because I think it forces you to sort of like

strip away what ultimately didn't really matter. And you're then surrounded by the people who are in your inner, inner circle. And like, I do think there's something really beautiful about the intimacy of some of these weddings affected by COVID. Like, for example, my cousin, he had his wedding, like, postponed three different times, wanted a big party and ended up getting married to his wife in St. Lucia with just like the two of them and an officiant. And he said it ended up being like the most beautiful experience of his life. So I'm, and he's an extreme extrovert. So, you know, I'm not saying that's going to be everyone's experience,

but I do think there's something kind of special about having to work within these parameters, even though obviously I'm not like pro-pandemic. I'm not like, it did so many good things for people. Hardly. But if I was going to have to see the silver lining, I think that would be it. I mean, we were at the wedding and I felt like I couldn't imagine it being double that size.

Like, you know what I mean? And I felt right. And I also feel like my brother was still really, and his wife, it took up a lot of time for them to talk to people. You know what I mean? That's always what I see at the wedding. I mean, I remember a girlfriend of mine, she didn't ever get to eat dinner.

Like they were supposed to, they spent so much money in the food. And I mean, food aside, like, don't be sorry. I feel like food matters least. But like, I just want to dance. Like, I just felt like my brother, like, you know, we were at the wedding and he was, he had the dance floor.

He split his pants. It was a whole thing. But like, there was a point where like our mom's favorite song, which is, yeah, by Usher. But anyway, like, you know, our mom's favorite song came on. You know, we had told the DJ to play it. And my mom and I were the dance for and, like, you know, Matt was nowhere to be found because he had to talk to people. Like, he, he wasn't gone from the dance for all night. You know, we saw him enough.

But I felt like that's what I fear the most. If I were, that's why I wouldn't want a big wedding because I wouldn't enjoy my wedding. Like, yeah. I think. So I can't imagine if he had double the people. Like, I don't think he ever would have been able to like cut loose, you know. Yeah. And also like it doesn't take that many people for it to feel like a party.

You know, like we always think like, oh, it needs to be huge for it to feel like a part. It's like no. No, actually like a smaller space. I mean, and you've also had those nights. I mean, I've definitely had these nights where it's like, you know, all your friends are like hanging out and then like, I don't know, someone's doing dishes and they like put on a song like while they're doing dishes and then you kind of end up having like a little like kitchen dance party that happened to me kind of recently.

And I was like, oh yeah, you can just like dance with five people. Like you know, you actually can like it doesn't take. that much to get the party going if the music is fun. I mean, like a 200, 300 plus wedding. It's so many people. It is so many people. You cannot possibly as a bride and groom really even talk to all those people. So then they were just there and you just never talk to them.

You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. And with my wedding, my favorite part of my wedding weekend was the night before everybody had arrived. And the people who were there on that Thursday, we all met at the bar at the hotel and we just had like the best time

just very low key, low pressure whoever can come great if not great. That Thursday night. It's always the Thursday night is always it's the inner circle. It's the best group of people. It's so good. So good. Yeah. Like we were when I was we did, you know, we had a really low key

Thursday night, you know, small intimate rehearsal on our Friday night, but it was so funny that by Saturday I said to Raina and my brother I was like, I forgot that there's other people involved in this weekend because we've been with the same group two nights now, like 48 hours. Like, I kind of forgot that there's a whole another like, you know, crowd coming. And then they all, then they almost feel like outsiders because you're like, we've been together, you know. We've been at this for days, guys. Yeah. And that's

why I love like my friend Kate got married in Tulum, 40 people. We all were there all three nights. We were a group the whole time. It was like we're on a big trip together. I love that. That's my dream, guys. That's my dream. I love a destination where you're like stuck somewhere. And like, there's not a lot of stuff to do. It's not, I don't like, you know, it's not like going to Boston. It's like people go to museums. Yeah, I know. It's like we're at the hotel. It's nowhere. No, where. Cool. Yes. I went to this wedding in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania. I was bitching about it the whole time. I could believe I had to go. I was so irritated. Then we got there and I was

there for three days. It was so fun. It's like summer camp. Yes. That's such a good vine. It was great. That's my favorite. So can't recommend that enough. Small wedding and a destination. And I always say, invite 200 people. 30 will come. You'll get the gifts from everybody else. what you think. It just depends on how popular you are. My friends try to do that. I'm popular, actually. That's what I'm saying. Like, people want to come. Like, I had friends that did the Mexico destination wedding thinking that 50 people would come. You know, this was years ago, two and 16 actually. And everybody wanted to come. Like, it was just one of those, it was one of those things like they were like, no one's going to go. It's like Mexico. It's expensive. And you rethink this,

because everybody likes me so much. Everybody wants the vacation. And I'm old. I'm so well liked. My friends like all have like a couple dollars now and they have kids. they want to get away from, they will all come. People want to get away from those kids. Yeah. Like, don't plan a wedding. I'm not having a wedding. I would say don't plan a wedding post-pandemic with that mindset because everybody wants stuff to do. So if you can't go into it like, what's that? What's that? TikTok? It's like, no one's going to know. They're not going to know. You're like, no one's going to come. No one's going to come. We'll just do it in Austria. No one will come. And then like everybody comes. They're like, I'm vaxed. All the boomers are there.

I can suck with my kids for a year. Fuck these little people. We're coming. All right. God damn it. Well, Ashley's going to marry me at City Hall. That's what we'll do. Sweet, guys.

Jamie, anything else? You feel like you wanted to touch on wedding-wise or show-wise or show-wise? I mean, I just, yeah, watch the wedding coach. It's a good freaking time. It really is. You are great at hosting it. It is really cute and funny and fun. Ashley and I loved watching it.

And our former guest is a guest in the show with you. Mateo Lane, who's a good friend of ours. Love, love, love, Mattio. Yeah, we have a great episode. We have a, yeah, there's a pregnant bride in our episode. It's a particularly juiced day one. Okay. So the full show is on Netflix and then tell people everywhere else they can find you and the show and anything else.

Okay, great. Yes, all six episodes of The Wedding Coach, now streaming on Netflix. And you can find me on Instagram at Really, Jamie Lee. I'm on Twitter, but I'm not like active on there. So yeah, just Instagram at Really Jamie Lee. Okay. Great. Well, thank you. so much, Jamie. We love chatting with you. Oh, it was so fun. Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you so much. Okay, bye. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com. There may be a few tickets left for Tampa and Orlando. No guarantees, but check those out if you want to come to those shows on May 5th and 6. And follow us. Girls Got to Eat podcast on Instagram. I am Ash Hess and Instagram. Raina is rena.org.org.org.org. Girls underscore got eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash Girls Got to eat. And actually, you will be hearing from us in just a few days as we have a bonus episode this week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.