Girls Gotta Eat - Rules to Live (Together) By

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Should you cohabitate...or no-habitate? We discuss the right time and right reasons to move in with a partner, financial arrangements and how to tackle them, tips and tricks for sharing your living space, the art of compromise, and how it can all go terribly wrong. We also catch up on recent travels/tacos, and play an extra spicy round of This Took a Turn. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, and check our website for upcoming tour dates! Thank you to our partners for this episode: LegacyBox: Go to LegacyBox.com/gge and save 40% off today. Buffy: For $20 off your Buffy comforter, go to buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. Lola: For 40% off subscriptions, visit MyLola.com and enter code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And then women on the flip side, show your appreciation. Also, that if you're... If you're at Kroger. But if you're a Kroger, also pick me up like a rotisserie chicken. Like, don't stop with the flowers. Welcome to another episode of Girls' Gotta Eat. Welcome back. I don't have anything else to say.

All right, girls, just us today. I mean, it's mainly you and like half of me. I'm just not all there. You actually are, and I think that like when they listen, they'll be surprised because you really researched to this. episode way more than I did. And I'm usually the researcher. Yeah. So today we're talking about moving in together, which I'm really excited about

because I think that it applies to a lot of things. And I think that we're going to talk about compromise and making decisions and what it means for your relationship in terms of moving forward. And it doesn't just apply to moving in together. But I'm also excited to talk about moving in together. Yeah. Never do it, guys. I'm just kidding.

Why would you live with a disgusting man? I love it. I threw out the episode. I do. I love it. I like taking care of somebody. I like having somebody that has to hang out with me legally all the time. Legally.

Because they're bound by a contract. I love it. It's my favorite thing. It's Elise bound by a contract. Yes, they sign Elise saying that they have to be in my back and call at all times. It's my dream. I live with somebody. His name is Dewey.

He's a great roommate. I hope somebody to have as good of a roommate as you do. Yeah. I just like somebody that has to have sex with me all the time. and just like, he is bound by the law to hang out with me. That's not. You act like it's a marriage. Like you don't stand in front of a judge to get to live together.

Someone can move out of your place at any time. Listen, I'm like you have them chained up in the basement. First of all, I do. And second of all, my landlord in Brooklyn, my last apartment was more terrifying than any judge on the planet, okay? Raina has men chained up in her apartment. I feel the vibes coming. I'm like, you wouldn't enjoy that.

You have all those new closet space. Right. And I have a huge basement in the apartment building now. I have a trash room. I have a donation room. Put all the men in the trash room. What if you can downstairs? The men are in the trash room.

Anton, that's all your secret closets. All right. Anyway, that's what it's about. Just a PSA. We have tickets still available for a bunch of upcoming shows. So Miami is not sold out yet. So that'll be April 4th. Then we're doing.

No, it's April 4th. It's not. lying? Yeah. I think you're wrong. You're probably right. I'm never wrong. Ashley's right. April 1st is Tampa, so April 3rd is, which is sold out. Tampa sold out. But if you want to come, you can come to Miami. Listener, I'm never wrong. You imagine you. It's never happened. One time I'm wrong. No, I was wrong that one time. I can't remember what it was, but I'm sure it happened. April 3rd is Miami. Some tickets still available. Beautiful Miami Improv. Yeah, it's great. Please come. New York. We have two shows. Then San Francisco. Second night sold out.

So the first night, I saw some tickets available, and then Seattle and Portland. Yeah. New York, New York may or may not be sold out. But, yeah, two shows at the Bell House in Brooklyn on April 29th and May 1st. May or may not. I don't know. They probably are. But check it out if you guys are here in New York.

I haven't looked today. And then a few left in San Fran and Seattle and Portland. I'm so excited. Ooh, me too. I'm really, really excited for all those cities. I love them. So please come. Our live shows are so much fun.

They're very different. Yeah. We just came back from three shows on the road. Oh my God. First Texas shows so much fun. Yes. First time we took it to Texas. Austin and Dallas.

Oh, man. I didn't know how it was going to go because we've never done a show in Texas. Yeah. And I'm like, what are the people like there? They're fucking awesome. The audiences are so much fun. Oh, yeah. Well, I just love Austin so much.

Like, I mean, I would like live there. Like, I really love it. Me too. And we were there for South by Southwest and went to some cool parties. and I just, I really feel their vibe. I do too. It's a very progressive city. Like, it's just kind of,

I really loved it. All the scooters. You love a scooter. Well, okay, I've never ridden like a bird scooter. I think Lyme is the other company. You guys know what I mean. Those bird scooters,

that's what I'm just going to call them. And they, there were so many in Austin. They were like more than the people. Like, there was like two scooters for every person. They were everywhere. They bused them in for South by South West.

I think they brought them in for South by South by South West. And then Dallas, they were everywhere too. And in Dallas, happy to announce I took my first scooter ride. And she didn't die. I was like white knuckling it. I was like, so scared.

I don't like when you do extreme sports. Extreme sport. Something bad happened to you. Like, I would just, I don't know what I would do. Like, I would have to go back to get a job or something. I don't have any skills. But we, they're fun. There's a learning curve because people like whizz by.

They're like turning. Like, I can't do that. I just go straight in a line. I hold on really tight and then I get to where I need to be. If I need to turn, then I kind of slow down and then move the scooter. I'm not good at stuff. When I get going really fast, I'm not going to ski. But you're good at being right, which is the most important thing.

It's just the most important thing. I'm not good at anything athletic at all. Can't ride a bike. Probably can't ride a scooter. Definitely can't play basketball. Anything that includes play basketball. Sex is the only sport I can do. The only extreme sport.

But I, we don't have those here in New York. New York's like pretty much, I feel like the only city that doesn't have these at this point. I mean, you couldn't have them. Everybody would just die. I mean, it's on... Yeah, they're all over Atlanta. Oh, I've never seen them before. I mean, it's just this, I feel...

Maybe I swear this is the only city they don't have it. You just can't be doing that in New York. It's just not... Where would you even ride it? But they're so fun. I don't know why I'm doing a promo. PSA for bird skitters. But we...

That was my big highlight. All right, well, big news for me is that I'm back into tacos, sort of. Good call. I'm glad you're announcing. Well, you love tacos, and I just wanted you to have a really good trip in Austin. So I took you to Torchies and Veracruz all natural and I love those places so much. Maybe I only like tacos in Austin, but I love tacos in Austin. They're the best. I mean, I'd had Torchies before, but that Veracruz place, old school

like taco trucks and out of like a school bus. So good. Yeah. So, so, so, so good. So I'm glad that we got to show you that. I had tacos last night in New York. Like, that's my favorite food. I eat them all the time. At Rosie's, did they do corn or flour tortillas? They were, they were corn, I think. See, that's what I don't like. I only like a flour tortilla. Oh, you do? See, I like. I like. I like a flower breakfast taco. Like if I'm having eggs that I wanted on a flour, but I like corn.

I like the I like the double like falling apart corn tortilla. Like I think that's like the authentic way. So we had lots of tacos to, I bought a ring in Austin that says taco on it. So that you can match my one that says champagne from triple Z threads on Congress. Yeah. Very cool.

I was out with these girls yesterday at brunch and in New York. And someone was like, oh my God, I love your ring. And I was like, thank you. And I was like, it says taco. And she goes, what? I thought I said love. Like she was like, I just assumed it said like love. It says taco.

I'm sorry. I'm not that basic. Same thing though. For you, yes. It's the same thing. It's my love language. But we had, I wanted to talk a little bit about Dallas, like just because we had these performers. And it.

We out did our silence. We really out did ourselves. So we had, I found this drag queen named Domita Sanchez. And Domita had. has this performance. They do this all the time all over Dallas at this place called Roundup Saloon, if you guys live in Dallas.

And it's basically her and like seven bears. So like burly gay guys that dress in like dominatrix leather. Yes. Okay. Like S&M gear and do a dance routine. And what they opened our Dallas show with was this like five minute Rihanna mega mix that I think didn't Domina say that she mixes it herself? She makes it.

She choreographs the whole thing. We were so shook by it because we hadn't seen the full performance until it was happening right before we were about to take the stage. I was losing my goddamn mind. I was like filming it. We're about to step on stage. I'm filming them from the side of the stage because I couldn't even believe what was happening. I was like crying. I couldn't handle it.

I've never seen anything like it before. I was standing half on half the audience could see me because I had to watch this. Had to watch it. I couldn't stop dancing and twerking. I was sort of scared Ashley was going to run out and start dancing with the people. I really almost did just start like take it to the floor and like twerk. These guys, I mean half of them were former cheerleaders. flips and tosses and all kinds of stuff.

I mean, I don't know how we even managed to follow that because it was insanity. But it does, like, set the tone. But, I mean, just for the record, like, I think you could pick up on now what we're doing. When we do these big theater shows, we like to open it with these dance numbers. We did it with the single ladies dancers in Chicago.

We did it with the mean girls dancers for our holiday shows and grammar street theater. Like, we have this big stage. We're like, let's fucking use it. I love the comedy clubs, too, because they're smaller. And so we're able to do more audience stuff and go out into the audience. There's like talk to people more.

the shows are a little different. But in these giant big theaters, it's harder for us to be in the audience. So to have an extra bonus for you guys on stage is so cool. And it's the best thing we've ever done in a show. It's my favorite thing, I'll just say. Right now the next day goes, because it was all Rihanna,

which is funny, because last week's episode, we talked about Rihanna a lot and masturbating. You masturbate to Rihanna. And then I'm like, of course, we opened the show. It was Rihanna Megamix. And you were like, that was better than a Rihanna concert. I'm like, as someone who's been to a Rihanna concert, I can,

I can attest that is true. Rihanna concerts are great. They're real chill. There's not choreography like that. I can assure you. Beyonce concert's totally different. It's a performance. She's a superstar. Choreography out the ass. Rihanna is just, she stands up there and kind of moves a little and sings. So what we got to experience.

I've never seen anything like in my life. Seriously, it was the best thing I've ever. Sorry you guys weren't there. But look up. If you're in Dallas, they do, I think she said that they do Dometa, which you can follow her. You can go see that the kind of performance, like, every week in Dallas. I think they do, or like every month, they do this, like,

one of these, like, gay bars, and they do it. So you can see it. And when we get to rich, we're going to get a bus, and we're going to bring them with us on all of our tours. But the show in Dallas is really fun for me because my dad was there. And I just feel really blessed that we both have parents that will come to the shows and be cool about it because, like, I save my raunchiest, nastiest material for the shows.

Yeah. Like, the dirtiest stuff you've ever seen. Like, I save that for the shows. and I did some... You penetrated me with the microphone on stage. Yeah, we did that. Not to give it away, because we might do it at other shows.

But we did... Yeah, your dad is such a good sport. Such a good sport. I think that he just sees his kid making people laugh and he doesn't care what it is. And at one point, like, I saw that there was...

Your friend was there, Bobby. My friend Bobby Corey, we shout him out a lot. He lives in Dallas, so he came to the shows. And hold on really quick. I just have to say, I've always called him

second impression Bobby. You meet him once and you're like, yeah, he's fine, he's cute. It's fine. You meet him the second time and you're like, wait, is he hot? Yes, that's what happened. It happened to me when I met him. And I've called him Second Impression Bobby ever since.

And it happened to you. I saw you. The first time you met him, you were like, yeah, he seems great. And then the second time you were like, wait, what? This, you perfectly described it. The first time I met him, I was just like, I don't know. He was wearing scrubs too. Like, he had a doctor outfit on.

And I still was like, okay. The second time around, I was like, too, I want to fuck him. This is so, and then I told the entire audience. I was going to fuck him. You put his hand on your leg on stage. And then I made him shake. I was like, Dad, this is the guy I'm going to sleep with later. And I made them shake hands at the show in front of 600 people.

Dad, I'm going to fuck this guy later. Shake his hand. Bobby, meet your new father-in-law. Bill Greenberg. My poor dad. Oh, my gosh. Anyways, the shows are fun. Come to them.

Come to them, yeah. I thought that was pretty much it. I kind of met a guy in Austin. So crazy because we live in. in New York, so we're not used to guys ever approaching us. Or be nice, yeah. So a guy, like, approached me. Like, had an opener, approached me, was interested at me.

I mean, he came to our show. It was nice. We're not used to it. We get so flustered. I know. I don't know what to say, but now, like, I got hos in different area codes. Bros. in different area codes. That's the goal.

Oh, and the last thing I wanted to talk about before we get to the actual episode. We these great girls bring us gifts in Dallas. Right now I don't even want to talk about this because now you guys are going to bring us gifts. Bring me gifts. Or money or just Venmoe. These girls were like waving something in the air the whole show. And I was like, what the fuck are these girls doing?

It looked like tampons or something. I was like, what is this? Finally Ashley acknowledged it. They brought us shots in the shape of sperm. Yes. They went to some specialty store to get cum shots. Cum shots. Yes.

And brought Ashley quissons. They brought me a croissant. That's how the French say it. They brought me a giant Dallas-sized, Texas size. coissant. I like me as and quosan and

Doritos. And Doritos. So, yeah, I mean, Ashley's out here not wanting gifts. I'll take gifts. Alcohol,

CBD oil. Okay. What else do you want? Money. Just croissant. Just quisson. You guys can bring me money, drugs,

and alcohol, and Ashley just wants quissons. And puppies. Bring me your puppies. We should have dogs in the show. Somebody just like unleashed little puppies all over stage, I would just die.

Well, I know. I feel like people really want Dewey to come to a show. And I just, like, if we can't get gritty in Philly, we might have to bring Dewey. In New York. In New York. Oh, yeah, really, we live here. Why am I, like, Philly?

You think we can bring Dewey to Brooklyn? Yeah, why not? All the way to Brooklyn. What are they going to do? Okay. One of our friends will watch him throughout the show. Okay. We have a really good guest.

New York, we're going to have great guests, but we want in particular that I'm so excited. Oh, yeah. I mean, New York shows, like, I mean, all of our people live here. like, yeah, the shows are going to be insane. All right, let's, Dewey's going to come to a show. Yes. I mean, why not? I just wonder if when he walks out, if everybody starts screaming, he'll, like, get all shook.

No, he won't. He's used to it. He's amazing. He knows what he looks like. Do you think he's going to get scared? All right, guys. Dewey's going to walk on stage. None of you say anything.

We'll just know internally. Like, like, golf clap. Like, lightly, politely clap. Golf clap. Have you never heard that? I have. It's just very funny. All right.

All right. So let's get into it. All right. It's just us today. We already have said that. Yeah, but people, I'm just doubling down on it just in case people didn't realize. I love these episodes when we're alone.

Also, I love when people are with us. I love it all. I love it all. And I love our listeners. I feel like every week I'm like, I've been wanting to do this topic for so long, but I've been wanting to do this topic for a really long time. Oh, yeah.

So today we are talking about moving in with somebody. Yes. When to do it, how to do it, why not to do it, all the things. when to slide into someone's home. It's casual. It's cash. It's like a DM slide, only not at all.

Only you bring all your things with you also. Your clothing baggage and your emotional baggage to the apartment with you. I really enjoy living with a significant other. I enjoy the act of it, but I think that there's a lot of things that go into deciding whether to do it. I don't know that I always made the best decisions

about why to do it. So that I want to focus on. I feel like we'll start with that. When, why, how, and then we'll get into some money. Do you remember when you looked at me and you were like, we can do the money. I love talking about money and relationships. So obviously, like, there's so much about, like, money

and who can afford what that goes into this decision. Yeah. And not resenting your partner. And then we're really going to get into some cohabitine tips and tricks. Yeah. You can cohabit. like Ashley and I sort of do. I can speak on this a little bit.

I lived with somebody just once, but in Atlanta. New York's a different animal. People move in for different reasons. I mean, we'll get to that. But it's just such a different, you're in a tighter space. The wrench more expensive. Yeah. Yeah, it was great.

I mean, well, it wasn't. But, you know, to live in this thousand square foot apartment in Atlanta with a giant king bedroom and, you know, a patio and like all this space to get away in a garage and, you know. Try living with your partner in a studio and having a fight. You have to go into the bathroom in your studio. to cry. It is so bad. My friend, my friend Brooke lived with her husband in their Brooklyn studio in a double bed for years. They're very small. They're a miniature couple, like little tiny Jews.

And they just, I mean, but still, I like can't, I couldn't sleep in that bed alone. Nevertheless, I haven't slept in a double bed. I don't, like, I couldn't even believe it. I would always be like, where do you go? It's to talk on the phone. It's very intrusive. But in New York, it's like, I think a lot of people move in together because of convenience, because of proximity. Like if you live in Brooklyn, somebody's in the Upper East Side, it's a longest relationship. All right. Well, we'll get it. And I think money, of course, like, encourages people to move in together faster than they would.

So you just, like, deal with it. Like, I did that. I lived in a studio with somebody. I just dealt with it. Oh, I can't even imagine. I can barely live in this one bedroom with Dewey. I'm just kidding. I love Dewey.

I wish Dewee would be more on top of me. Right. I wish you would spend more time with us. Yeah, exactly. The trick is to have completely opposite schedules. And then you're not there that often. That's nice. The trick is to actually kind of not live together.

Never see the person, but split the rent. Exactly. That's, um, all right. Well, I think what the number one thing is people is when. When? When. Okay. My overall answer and we are going to dive in deeper is everybody's so different.

Right. And also every age is different. Maybe at 35 you meet somebody and you're like, you know, I know what I like and I like and I know this feels like forever. And so six months in, I just know. I think that like when you're a little bit younger, like, you should take your time. I'm not saying everybody should always take their time, but I think there's different reasons to move in together

and people sort of make the wrong decision sometimes. And other people are like, I would never move in one person until I was engaged or until we were married. And I actually didn't look this up. I don't know if you did, but I think there's a lot of studies about like the probability of longevity in a relationship if you live together or not.

I don't think there's any studies that prove, right, one way the other. One way or the other, I mean, I guess you could prove anything the way you wanted to come out, like stats show. I don't think so. There's some girls and guys are brought up to believe that you don't even live with somebody before marriage even. And that just was not my, that was not me at all.

My mom, I remember even when I was growing up, my mom was like, oh my God, I can't imagine marrying somebody I didn't live with first. My parents lived together definitely before. My parents probably moved in pretty soon, actually. They just fell in love pretty quick, moved in together and then got engaged,

which is probably how I picture. That's how I feel. That's my, in my personal belief system and how I, my relationships play out and probably will continue to play out would be move in, engage, married, or not. I don't even know what I want these days, but moving in first. I want to know what somebody's like to live with. I know just what they're like to live with. I think little habits are easy to deal with, whether you live with somebody before marriage

or not, but I think that money particularly is a really hard thing to deal with and somebody that can sort of help you take care of things in life. And I think that you really don't know those things until you live with somebody. Because until you're both of your names are on a lease and a credit card bill and bank statements and things like that, I just don't think that you ever know how somebody handles money. Like, did they pay the rent? Did they pay the electric bill? Totally. And also, let's just really put this out there up top. There is no going back. Like if you move in with somebody, you don't move out, really. To find me something where that has worked, because I don't know about it. If you move in with somebody and it's not working out, you don't just move back to your own places and stay together. Right. Moving. Because I just did it. You stay together forever. You break up. Of course.

So I think above all, the answer is when do you move with somebody, when you both are so totally sure. And the only reason you both want to live with each other is because you genuinely want to live with each other. Right. And not because of money and rent and all those things. It can work too. You see that happen.

It's not that it can't. We moved in together to save money. We live in New York City or wherever. And now we're married and have a family. Like it works. I'm not saying it doesn't. But I don't advise. I think you genuinely need the reason to be like,

I love this person, and I want to be with them. I moved you with somebody for convenience. Not going to be for money and convenience, but we were truly in love and we were going to be together. And like, well, I'll tell you what happened. Yeah. It's not like you don't know. But I really know.

I lived with somebody for three years. We moved in together. I've lived with two people, but the person that I lived in the longest was three years. We moved in together three months after we started dating. What? Yeah. Oh, you didn't know this?

I don't know this. Also, to people, I mean, you're talking about your... The first is for a manor. Yeah. So I think we started dating, I mean, less than three months, we moved in together. We started dating around like late April, May, and my lease was up July 1st.

And I think we wanted to, like, go on a trip or something. So I could either, like, move and get a new apartment, which obviously costs a lot of money, or we could go on the trip, but I couldn't afford both because I just, well, that was 24 years old, I didn't get that much money. And so he said, why don't you put your stuff in storage? You'll stay with me for a month. You'll save money.

And we were falling in love. We loved each other. And that was the plan. And when the moving truck came that day, he was like, I think that you should move into my place, bring all of your stuff. This was like an on-the-spot decision. Yeah. And he was like, look, we'll try it.

And if you don't like it, and if it doesn't work out, you'll just move out. No, that's not a thing. So let's just make that. That's not a thing. There's no going back. I don't believe that there's... I don't either. I mean, thank God it worked out fine.

Yeah. But, I mean, I, once I did... did it. And we, I will say, though, like, I was fully in love with this person. I know I didn't know him very long, yes. But, um, for sure. I'm not saying, we had to marry him. Yeah, but it's three, three months. Yeah, I wasn't necessarily. And I knew it was like long term. I knew he was for me. I loved him. I trusted him. I remember I told my mom, like, your parents. My parents, like, do whatever you want. Who cares? We went out to dinner with my parents. We'd already been living together for like three months. But after that, I was like, we're going to tell my parents

now that we're moving in together. So I'm like, mom, I have an announcement. It's really exciting. She's like, okay. And I was like, we. We, we. are kind of moving together. And she was like, okay, so what? Cool, right. She just didn't care at all. I was like, this is not the... It's so true.

And I, I mean, we're obviously speaking to women right now all over the country, but I mean, in the South, that's not the reaction you usually get. I mean, you have a lot of women that would tell their mother that and they'd be like, no, the fuck you're not until you have a ring on your finger. So I would not recommend doing what I did to other people, but I will

say one of the things that helps we completely off his schedules, so we weren't on top of each other all the time. And it was great. I loved living with him. But yeah, for me, it was like a convenience and a money thing and I wouldn't necessarily remember that. I, um, yeah, like, this is one of those things. Like, it's very different than sex. But when you listen back to our sex episode, like, I feel so strongly in my heart that this is another one of those things of why are you rushing it? You like, keep your space as long as you can. Like, maybe unless you have some situation, you hate your roommates and just please, ladies, hold on to that. Your

own space as long as you can. If you're going to marry this person, which is clearly your goal, if you're going to move in, most likely. Let's say you're just in a traditional headspace. I want to marry him. I want to have whatever. That's the end goal. You're going to live with them forever. So why are you rushing it? Like six months in, what do you do it? Like keep your privacy and let's get into this. Like you lived with another guy that you felt like you could keep an eye on him. So the other person I moved in with was a terrible mistake and the, like a cautionary tail. He, we just moved in together. We moved in together because he like suggested it, but like I didn't trust him and I thought he was cheating on me at the time which he was.

And I just thought like being proximity close to him would like make him stop and no it didn't. No it didn't at all. It made it worse. He just cheated on me and then came home to our home together. Oh my God. And it just made me insane because I had more access to his stuff. And so I spent more time snooping. It didn't help. It didn't make me feel better. The amount of times he came home, I was just crying on the floor like a psychopath. So no, I wouldn't really. I wouldn't recommend that, but I like, if you're moving in for trust issues to break up with this person. Absolutely. And I just think that like, I like what you're saying about like, what's the rush. And I think sometimes the rush for some people. And I think that, you know, we'll talk about like ultimatums.

But some people are like, I don't feel connected to this person as much as I want to. And I want him to make a real commitment to me. And the commitment in my mind is moving in together. So I'm just going to tell him, like, we have to move in together or break up. And that, to me, is the biggest mistake you can make. And you're not going to feel closer to somebody, emotionally because your proximity is closer to them now. Yeah. And so there's no rush to make somebody do that. It's not going to make you feel better. Right. This is just, this is one of those things. I think we, it's different but the same when we talk about when to sleep. We sleep with somebody, again, for the record, sleep with someone, whenever you want. But you guys ask us these things. So we're telling you how things can go wrong. It's like, do you feel crazy in love connected to this person, committed to

them? You're dying to live together. You think this is your person. Again, we could be high on endorphins here and love drug. But then cool, move in. But also some people could take years to really feel ready to move in with a partner. And that's fine too. I think everybody's really different. And I think what you're saying is such a mistake

that I've seen happen to where mostly the female is looking for this commitment that she doesn't feel that she thinks moving in will help. It will not help. Why don't have a baby too while you're at it? It doesn't cure it. It doesn't put a band-aid on it. And also, I read another article

that men and women view moving in together a little differently. How many articles have you read? I know. I've binged a bunch. And if you want to, if you want to come for me and say, I'm not citing facts, I'll show you the articles.

We'll put them on our Instagram story. This was, I think, of psychology today, or this was some other, like, study. It was on the Atlantic, I think. This one was on the Atlantic. It was like, men don't necessarily view moving in as much of the commitment as females do. And so men sometimes are like,

yeah, cool, that'd be great. I'll have somebody pick up after me and split the rent. Yeah. Or women are thinking like, we're moving forward, ring on my finger, marriage. So that's why it's so important to have this conversation with your partner on where you stand and where your commitment level stands before you pull the trigger on this.

And also don't let them, like, men know what you think moving in together means, okay? So don't let them do it because they know they're going to have somebody clean up after them and cook for them. Because like in 2019, all men know what you think it means. Of course. And not all men. Like I always think about my friend Rob because he listens to this and he gets mad. And I'm like, yeah, you're an exception to the rule. He's the only, you don't need somebody to pick up after you.

That's not you why you want to live with somebody. And, but I think the study was like when you, they pulled a bunch of men and they were like, men don't view it as so much of the like road to commitment that women do. And this also reminds me another guy friend of mine that he was dating a girl. She got evicted for like Airbnb or whatever, but got evicted. And then so just kind of had to move in with him. And it just went south very quickly. And they didn't she kind of, then she like quit her job and she was just there all the time. Like they didn't get to talk about it.

It happened so quickly, and I think they viewed it as like, well, am I going to live separately? That seems like a downer for the relationship. It's like it probably would have helped it. Again, they shouldn't have ended up together. But the relationship went downhill quickly because they didn't plan for that. It was circumstantial. That's such the nail in the coffin to me is we got forced into this situation for some other

reason than love and commitment. Yeah. And I don't think that you want one person to resent the other one. That's what a resentment is moving in with. you because they can't afford something or they don't have a job and you're forced to take care of this person. Like, I wouldn't like it and I don't want to be in that position either. As a female, I don't want to be in a position where I'm forcing somebody else to take care of me either. But I want to back up to one thing that you said and it's like, you know, feeling close to somebody, I think that after like three

years, if somebody won't move in with you, then you take stock of the relationship and you're like, okay, it doesn't mean the same thing to men, but they know what it means to you. So like, Right. If they won't do it, then it's like, okay, well, you know me. If you don't want to move forward in this relationship, like, what is stopping you? What is stopping you? Yeah. I mean, and I guess that could be a whole other episode on its own, like ultimatums and these type of things. And it's like anything else we say is just kind of like, ask yourself what the real reason is. Like, is it because I want to be together and eventually marry you? Like, I want to move forward and why are you not feeling the same way?

You know, like I just, I think that's a good barometer. I don't know. I might be, if I really wouldn't to live with somebody, I might get a little restless at like two years. I would too. But, I mean, three, I'm kind of like, ooh. But nothing we're saying is like a rule as, I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of people that are married and happily,

happily married that didn't move to get in together by three years. You know, that moved in together after four or five. I don't know any, but I'm sure. My brother and his wife. Oh, right. They were together for years. Yeah. I know a couple.

Actually, I do. I know a couple, but they were like, don't live together. you're married kind of couple, but it worked for them. They're married and they have three kids. Yeah, I mean, there's no, like you said, there's no study as a definitive way to prove one or the other. Yes, I'm sure everybody's going to hit us with a million studies, and I'd love to see them,

but I think that you could skew that study either way. 50% of marriage has ended divorce. So 50% of all situations ended divorce. And you could also look at it and say, okay, well, there's certain parts of the country where people would move in, wouldn't move in together before marriage. Those are the more religious parts of the country, and those people don't get divorced. So it skews the entire set of... They just cheat.

Right. And they're closet gay. Sorry. No, but my brother and his wife, she really was adamant that she did not want to live together before they were engaged. When she first said it to me, she was like, well, people that live together, never get married.

I was loving my boyfriend at the time. It's just not true. But like, it's not true. But, you know, it worked for them. And I think, I don't know that my brother, like, proposed to her because she refused to live with him. But, like, that's what worked for them. And I think that's what we hammer home this whole episode is like,

yeah, it's a one. size fits one situation. Like for them, that's what worked. They didn't live together. She lived in an apartment building down the street from him. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And they bought a condo and then they moved in together.

Right. I think that also she just wanted to feel like if I do this, it's forever. And it's not just like for now. Yeah. And my mom and my dad moved in with each other year one of dating before they were engaged and they've been married for 40 years. You know, like I can name on a bunch of other friends too. Like clearly.

Yeah. There's no rules to this. There's no rules. But I just think that the reason that you move, like the most important thing is the reason. And like if your reason is to feel like you want to keep tabs on somebody or you don't feel close to them and you want to like test as a barometer for the relationship, like, I wouldn't do it for that. I wouldn't do it for financial reasons.

No. I think money is like the number one reason why couples fight and break up. So like don't do it because like you need money. Right. Like don't do it as a litmus test for the relationship. And like, can you like let's just put this in perspective really quickly, everybody. Like you move in with somebody because of. money, right? Someone's resentful. Unless they both really wanted it. Someone's resentful. And then what?

You break up and then the reason why the downfall of your relationship, maybe you weren't supposed to be together anyway, but essentially the reason you broke up was to save money. And like you moved into quickly to save money and now you're broken up and it was all because of stupid fucking money. You know what I mean? Yeah. I get it if you're so, your hand is so forced because I understand everybody is a different financial situation. But don't ruin your relationship because you rush something because of money. It's scary. And I know that people are in financial situations. They're like, this would just be the band-aid I needed. This would fix things. And like, it would help. It would be great to have somebody pay more money. And I don't know. I just, I know it's scary to not have enough

money to afford things. But I think that I would never want to make those decisions because I would never want to be in a position, A, where I'm spending more money than another person because I will always be resentful and I'll probably emasculate you like crazy. Or conversely, where somebody's taking care of me all the time. That just doesn't make... I'm not saying that's not great for some people. There's couples where couples go through hard times. And I lived with somebody for three years. There were times where I didn't have any money and he paid for everything. And there were times where he didn't, well, all the time he had no money. I paid for everything. But there's abs and flows in relationships. Maybe you want to like, maybe you want to switch careers. And so you take a

massive pay cut. Yeah, it's normal that your partner's going to pay for more things. That's fine. But I wouldn't enter into something. Yeah. Just because of that. Yeah. You should both be so jazzed about the idea of moving in together. And I will say this. I'm like 99.9% sure this is in men or from Mars, women are from Venus, which is still a good book. It's legit.

Some of it feels a little antiquated. But there's a large segment of that book that talks about a woman moving into a man's place as opposed to a man moving into a woman's place. And statistically, a woman moving into a man's space is more of the recipe for disaster. Okay, so I want to hear about this. Yeah. I loved what you were saying. You did a little more research and you were reading. It's important for a man to move into a woman's space or to get your own place. Right. So, I mean, well, again, listen, I am just reporting on a long history of studies about

the topic. Clearly, women can move into men's places and it can work by best guy friend Rob, his fiancee moved in, and then they got engaged. Like, they're great. That got the wedding, saved the day. Like, we're good. But typically it does work a little bit better just because of the way that men's and women's brains operate when a man moves into a woman's space or the ideal is that you get your own place together. Clearly, for obvious reasons.

When you think about how people are built, like, chemically, like women are more, they're nurturers, they're more adjustable to compromise and things like that than men are. Yeah, and makes more sense that they can allow you to move in. And a little more welcoming. So, I mean, go ahead and read the book. It's men are from Mars,

woman from Venus. I mean, it's basically that women just can tend to like never feel welcome in a man's space. And there's a lot of science behind it. I do understand it to an extent. Again, it can work. Don't come at me with this because I know that it can work. But typically it's be, wary and what I always say, and I've told this to my girlfriends time and time again, if you have a guy that's the slightest bit hesitant or doubtful to have you move in with him into his space, I don't recommend it. Don't push them and pressure them and try to get in there.

I think your relationship is doomed. It's just the way they're going to resent you. It's just not smart. I don't think it's good. I just think it's the biggest step and the biggest change. Yes, of course, marriage and children is a big step. But like in your dating life,

it is the biggest step you're going to take is living with somebody. And I wouldn't push that if you're not sure because it's so much change. It's so much compromise. It's so much. re-learning how to like fight with somebody and be in the same space with somebody. It's a lot when somebody didn't even want you to be here to begin with. Well, yeah. And I mean, I've,

simultaneously, you know, I speak of Rob as kind of the exception to the rule in a lot of ways, but I've seen a lot of others' relationships fail when the woman moves into the man's place. See it happen a lot. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I mean, I just think it can work. It just works that's best if you get your own place. If that's an option, it's not totally an option, especially financially. So we're going to get into that too. But yeah, I mean, just typically just the way that we're built in traditional, you know, heterosexual relationships, I guess.

You know, we can only speak on being straight because we're straight. So I don't know the dynamics of gay relationships. But I would think gay, straight, whatever you are, purple, I think that like it's hard to move into somebody's space. I wouldn't want to do it. Like I'm a female and I don't necessarily, I don't want to move in with somebody. I don't. want to move into our co-space.

Yeah. Because there's always this like my place, my space kind of thing. And I don't want that with somebody. Typically a little bit more of a masculine thing. A woman is very much more accommodating, just in general. Again, except as every rule. But that's kind of how we're more built. We're like, come into my space.

Let me, you know, make space for your things. And men are a little less accommodating. And it all boils down to that. And so it's like if you can clear it and start, fresh in your own place, you're just setting yourself up for a better situation and a longer, more healthy relationship, I think. I think it's more fun, too. Like, if this project you guys get to do together, you get to find something together that

you both really like. You don't have to do this whole, like, can you make space for my stuff thing? I mean, yeah, not everybody has the option to not do that. Yeah, I would move into the nicer place. But, like, I think most times, don't girl have a nice replace. But I get, you know, I'm assuming a lot of people do is they just kind of maybe even that's a bigger commitment. Like it's more like, well, move in.

We'll try this and see how it goes. I think a lot of guys think like that. They're like, yeah, we'll try this and see how it goes. We're like getting another place together, signing a lease together. That's a whole different step. Both people are moving. Yeah. Even bigger of a thing.

But I don't know. Just be careful. Just assess what ladies assess your man. If he seems a little prickly about you moving in, don't pressure them and also assess the relationship. Yeah. And like, why do you need to move in so badly? Yes, don't rush it.

And I'm somebody who loves. living with somebody. Like, I've had, I didn't necessarily move in with either person for the right reason, but once I was there, I really, really enjoyed it. And the first time we got our own place, sorry, the first time he moved in my place and the second time we got our own place together. I really love cohabiting with somebody and I like taking care of somebody. And I think that, like, I think people would be shocked to know that about me, that, like, I, I think I seem pretty independent, but like, I really like a lot of, like, traditional female gender roles in my relationship. I like cooking. I like cleaning.

I like when you come home and I've put your laundry away. Like I like that stuff. I liked packing for my boyfriend, like when we would go away for trips. Like I like these very traditional 1950s things because I'm a nurturer to other people. And I enjoy coming home to somebody being there and cooking dinner for them. And, you know, I think that once you're past that hump of should we live together, I like it a lot. I think it's really fun. But I think there's like a lot of concessions you have to make in your own space to live with somebody.

It's really tough. Yeah. And I mean, I also don't want to, I think. that I have a wealth of knowledge on this topic, just basically, for research I did, from observing French, my friends and their relationships over the past however many years and also, you know, my parents have been married for 40 years and I can speak on it, but I have not lived with somebody long term. So I lived with one person and it was kind of short-lived and we broke up. We did not break up because we lived together. I really strongly don't believe that. I think we

were like kind of destined to anyway. And we moved in together as like a money-saving thing for him. And he was basically going to sublet his place. Someone needed a place. Someone needed a to stay for a couple months. So I was like, you can live with me and save money. And that can bring us into our money conversation because I was basically like, you can live here for free while you also collect money on your place, which was so crazy. Like you made money off of me, but whatever. I think that you're just like, I'm in love and I want to make this person's life easier. That's the thing. Like, of course, I love you. What we say all the time, I want to make your life easier. Like let's do this. We're a team move in, save money. It benefits me too. Let's take a

trip together, whatever it is. But looking back, there was no offering to like even pay a cable bill, which I do feel, I know that I felt taken advantage of and I was like a little blinded by love, but I felt taken advantage of. And that should have been discussed before he moved in. Having the conversation is not like, who's going to pay for what? What can we afford? Do you make three times more money than I do? Then you should pay more money. That stuff is so unsexy. It's so uncomfortable. But like, have the talk. It has to happen. Our episode on what is it called should love be unconditional,

I think we talked about the unsexy contractual part of a relationship. And this is part of it. This might be sitting down and like opening up your laptops. I don't know. Like it's not sexy. It has to happen. I can't stress this enough. Like you have to talk about this stuff.

I mean, I open a bottle of wine. Don't drink too much. But I just think. Should we open a bottle of wine? I'm like alcohol. Ooh. The open discussion about how are we doing this financially is so wildly important. And I think people get nervous about it.

Why would you be nervous about it? Like talk about money with your partner if you're going to live together. Yeah, it's really uncomfortable. It is. But like I think this is the time. I mean, I never dated anybody. I didn't know exactly how much money they made and vice versa. Like every boyfriend I've ever had.

I was very clear on what they made. But if you don't know, then you should probably have a handle on it. Does your partner make three times more than you? Then, like, you should probably offer to spend a little more money. So I get that. Or are they pressuring you to live in a place that you can't really afford and split 50-50? It's okay if you say, I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want to do this.

I was looking for a place with my ex, and I did want to spend more money than him. And he was like, I can't. So I think it was like $3,000 a month or something. And he was like, if you want to pay $2,000 a month, fine. But, like, I can't afford this. And it sucked. And I was bummed out. But like, so I had two choices.

You know, I could live somewhere I loved and resent my partner because I was paying all this extra money and eventually just completely emasculate him and make him feel terrible. Because I knew that I know me today and I know that I will say something about it continuously. I don't like being taken advantage of. Absolutely. But then don't agree to be taking advantage of so you can't sign that lease. So don't be the person that's like, yeah, you know what? I'll just pay for it.

And then turn around a month later and be furious. Yeah. And then it just starts coming out in little ways and stuff like that. I mean, what I'm going to assume that a lot of people deal with is I'm already paying the rent and then you move in. So that's a tricky thing too. And that's just sitting down and discussing this with your partner. And I've seen situations where a woman moves into a man's space and he's like already paying the rent and he makes a ton more money than her. And he's like, I'm not going to have her pay me.

And it's like, okay, well, as long as you both feel comfortable, I would not. We talked about this in the money episode. It's like, well, then do other things to add value. Do you cook dinner for the person? Are you paying utilities? Like, what are you doing? Are you getting all the groceries? Yeah.

I mean, all this stuff. Like, we can't sit here and outline every single situation because every single situation is different. But all we can tell you as a rule is you have to sit down and discuss this stuff. It's like, or you're never going to work as a couple. It's interesting to me the emails we get. And I just like how afraid people are to have certain conversations. I can't imagine. Somebody said in me today was like how often did it.

everyone says she's Jewish every 10 minutes. I mean, I'm Jewish. So I can't imagine ever having a feeling or thought I didn't share. But, like, I'm amazed at how many things people are really genuinely afraid to say to their partner. But, like, this is the one conversation you shouldn't be afraid to have. Yeah, and like, I got to. I just use this conversation as the litmus test for the longevity of your relationship. Right.

This, if you can't have this, give up. Like, your relationship's not going to work. So, like, figure it out. I mean, I think there's a ton of different things that can work. the bottom line at the end of it all, both people have to feel super comfortable and not resentful and not taking advantage of it. Right. Or don't move in together. And I can see a very workable situation where, well, I don't know. Again, it gets a little tricky when the woman makes more. I can see situations where there's two people. I'm going to use Newark prices. Take it down

by half by half if you don't live here. An apartment's $3,000. You know one partner makes double. They pay $2,000. You pay $1,000. I mean, I can see, that doesn't bother me at all. You know, because I My whole thought with money is if I make a whole bunch more than you, I'm picking up the tab. I don't think people should have to struggle while I am making more. And I'm like that with my girlfriends. And it's just like, I know I make more than you. I got it. You know what I mean? I'm happy to buy this round of drinks, whatever it is. And so I kind of think I would think like that too gets a little weird when the dynamics different when it's the woman making more. I mean, we can both admit that. But it can also work. Yeah. I mean, there's no one size in any situation.

I mean, I'll just, in my personal experience, and I wasn't dating like a pauper. I mean, he worked. He made money. It wasn't like some piece of shit. But I did make more money and I kept making more money. And I will say he borrowed money for me. And that's where it got really, really shitty. So, like, we didn't necessarily walk into a situation where we couldn't both afford something.

He borrowed money and that's where I got tricky. But I just know after being in that relationship that, like, I am going to bring it up and I am going to talk. about it constantly and I'm going to get more upset and it's probably going to emasculate you. And I just know now that like it's probably not a good situation for me. Like I probably wouldn't date somebody that made a third of what I did. Because I think it's, I think it's hard. It depends. I mean, it just depends.

Every situation is different. I just think that you probably were just like, you were younger, A, one, you know, and just in this moment, like knowing that it would probably bother you, but not speaking up, you know, and just wanting to save the relationship. Right. Also, by the way, let's be clear, it depends on why you make a third less than me. Right. If you're like saving the world or doing something noble or something creative and you're really

living out your dreams, fine, make whatever amount of money you want. If you're just being a piece of shit, that's different. So I just want to clarify that before, like, somebody comes from me. Yeah, fine, make less than me. I don't give a shit. But I just know that, like, it's probably going to bother me. And it depends on the dynamic. And I want to live a certain kind of lifestyle.

And I don't want to float you for it. Right. I'll be completely honest. If someone, like, moved in with me, right? right now. I don't really think that would work. This is a smaller apartment, but that's what we did. I'd be like, yeah, you're paying half the rent. I mean, why would you not? Like, you know what I mean? And same for you. Wouldn't you feel, wouldn't you expect that? I want my partner to be an equal partner. I don't want to pay more or less. I want them to be an

equal partner. Exactly. And that's just how I feel. And so, but you and I both know situations where the man makes a lot more money in the relationship and the woman doesn't pay any rent. That sounds great. But I want to be in that situation. But sometimes it can cause issues, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I think every couple finds their stride. And, you know, certainly if somebody made an exorbitant amount of money compared to what I made, I would expect them to pay more money and vice versa, too. If I was making an exorbitant amount of money compared to somebody, of course, I would pay more. I just think it's, you have to have the talk. Yeah, just discuss it. This is what's going to determine if you can talk about this stuff for the

rest of your lives. So have it now before you move in together. And I just think a lot of people get caught up in this like, well, it'll work itself out. Okay. Nope. Good luck with that. Money will not work itself out. Someone's going to get resentful. Everything else. It doesn't need to be so serious. It doesn't need to be the long, drawn out conversation hours long. It can just be like, this is what we're doing. And you know, you pay this and I pay this or I pick up the groceries or whatever it is, it just needs to be kind of decided beforehand. And both parties need to walk, you better walk away from that conversation with like zero tension, zero doubt and make sure both people feel happy about it. Yeah. And I like what you said, it's a perfect

lip-miss test for your relationship. That conversation shouldn't be a horrible like invasive crying. Like it shouldn't be a horrible conversation and if you don't feel comfortable sharing those things with your partner like I said I've never had a I've never had any relationship where I didn't know exactly how much money

they made because it just naturally comes up you know because when you take trips together with somebody you just want to know what they make. Yeah. That's fine. Like it should just be an easy conversation I hope and if it's not then you should ask yourself like why is it so uncomfortable? You shouldn't feel like personally violated if somebody's asking you those questions. Yeah. And I mean, I don't know,

all these things. Like that's what you said it before. Like when you live together, like you get a good feel for people's money habits. You know what I mean? And just, I think that's a great test for if you're going to be able to be married or not. Yeah. And you have to be able to trust them because they have a lot more access to your money when you live together. You know, your checkbooks are in the house. Your credit cards are there? Like, are they going to do something to you, you know, financially crazy? You know, so just, I mean, you know, what your person's like, you know, be with somebody you trust. Right. And I mean, I don't know, the language. is just like, hey, like, if you're talking about moving in together,

he asks you to move in or you ask him or whatever, I think it's just like, hey, like, before we really like make a decision on this, I really just want to discuss the money side of it, the financial side of it. It's like, it's not a, it's not scary. It's what you got, what you should be doing as a healthy, happy couple. Yeah. And once you do it, I think it's really fun. I, like, I think that once you're in it, I have some like really good tips for like

getting along and cohabiting. Cohabiting? Is it cohabitine or habitation? Cohabitating. Cohabitating sounds better. That sounds like a habitat. Like a koala. Like a reptile? Cohabiting. When you cohabit. Is this going to be every episode? Oh my God. No. Habit is not a verb.

Cohabit. Have I been saying cohabit? I said cohabit. Someone's going to leave him in review. This is like a real exercise in English for me. I'm learning a lot about myself through this podcast. Cohabitate. I like cohabitate better. Me too. It sounds better.

Yeah. But I think that once you have the talk and you move in together, I think it can be really, really, really fun. But I think that like you learn real quick how to compromise or have some big ass fights. Because like, especially when you're moving in with your man and like all of his quote unquote artwork is like posters of like John Belushi. What? His art.

His art is like tapestries and Dave Matthews band. like you have to find a way to gently tell somebody that's not coming in the house. That is such a good call. Oh my God. Wait, this wasn't even on my list. I love this so much. I used to think about this with the guy that I live with. I was like, is he going to bring that shit over here?

Like, I can't have it. I can't have this fucking sports shit on my walls. My ex brought a armchair that he got from a Starbucks that was going out of business that he brought to the place. And I told, I forced him to move it out of the house because we had all this furniture. It didn't fit anywhere.

It was just like this giant blue velvet Starbucks chair in the middle of my living room didn't go anywhere. So I made him take it out of the house. It was the biggest way. And then he sat outside on the curb in the chair for hours just despite me. I, oh my God.

My friend Laura and I, she's so funny, we used to just send each other pictures of stuff in our boyfriend's apartment. It's like, how, what are they thinking? Why is this here? You guys should send us pictures of funny stuff at your men's houses. Please. Yes.

They have the stupidest stuff. It's so crazy. Like, where did you get this? Like, we, sure. I think her boyfriend, I think she's still with him. He caught her, like, sending. He was like, why are you taking pictures of that? We made fun of them so hard.

She was like, it's chill. Don't worry about it. Just like the weirdest stuff. It's definitely going to be the art. I feel like we're getting a lot of photos of art. Okay, real quick, rule of thumb. If it's a fucking poster, it's not coming in. A poster.

At least frame it. It's not even framed. It's a poster? The edges are curled. I got to put a thumb tag in it. What? No. Put it up with the blue sticky tabs.

You blue sticky tabs all over your apartment. It's in poster form. It can't come here. I used to have anxiety about this. What's he going to bring in this apartment? Not that I have great style. I'm the first to say. I just, that's not a gene that I have.

My mom doesn't have it either. But I'm not poster girl. I mean, It's like, I have decent, I have a decent, like, style. But I used to be like, oh, my God, what is it going to happen? It's going to be like, fucking college football Hall of Fame up in this apartment. I'm going to die. Helmits.

He brought a fucking Miami Dolphins helmet. It just sat on the bookcase. It just sat on the top of the bookcase. A big professional football helmet. Why? You're not even from Miami. You're from New Jersey, you jackass. That's signed by, like, Dan Marino.

No. Oh my God. I mean, what do you do about this? That's why the man cave started. Because men and they're dumb shit. They're dumb. You give them a drawer. Yeah. You have to be, I think you have to compromise. So like if they get rid of something, maybe you get rid of something. But what are we getting? Like, I think there's this whole stereotype stigma that's super fake from like how to lose a guy in 10 days that women have like a bunch of fucking frilly pillows and shit like that. Like most of women I know have fucking great taste. and it's like, we know what we're doing. Leave us alone.

It smells nice. It's clean in here. Just like, yeah, it's a little more feminine than your dirt bot, your dirty ass home. Take your fucking helmet. Take it to your parents' house. I don't get it out of my face. I'm fucking Starbucks chair.

Get the fuck out of here. And also, like, you probably both have to downsize a little bit. It sucks, but like I've been watching a lot of Marie Kondo lately. So in Marie Kondo, what she says is look at each thing and say to yourself, does it bring me joy? Yeah. And I try to, like, do this. But also I try to say to myself, have I used this in two years?

If I put this in the garbage and never saw this again, it would affect my life in any way at all. The problem here is that that fucking dumb sports stuff brings them joy. You know it does. Okay. So they're allowed to keep some stuff. But like you just have to downsize in general. You can't have both of your things. So like maybe they get rid of like half of their t-shirts.

And they can keep the helmet in a shelf in the closet. In the shed. like next door in the dumpster maybe take it to your friend's house yes it's like bachelor bad shit I just don't want it I don't want your fucking bong sitting on my floor okay we need to move on so much other stuff I didn't even think of the decor stuff

no I when I said compromise I really just started thinking about like you know when you argue with somebody and you're in the same space like you're not I think when you don't live with somebody when you're having like a really bad day you don't have to be around them. And like when you have a mundane kind of day and you just want to like kind of be alone and melancholy, like you don't have that choice anymore. And so like you have to figure out how to like exist together. Well, I think one of the main things is you need to be okay asking for space and like get taking space. And like no one should be out here as an adult

thinking that love and intimacy and commitment and relationships involved being on top of each other all the fucking time. You know like you should not be a. offended if you live with somebody and they say they need to get out they need to get some fresh air they need to take a drive they need to go see a movie by themselves like that's healthy that is so healthy to live with somebody and both people need he gets some alone time and get some space and like I think of that and I think of that when the relationship's going fine and I think of that when the relationship when you're fighting so I mean I when I lived with somebody briefly like we had to do that sometimes and there was a dog so it was like I'm going to like take Dewey for a

lap around the block you know you just before things escalate and things escalated plenty. But I think that is something that I learned of like, if you can in that moment be like, I'm going to leave right now, I'm not walking out on you. I'm not storming out on you. I'm just going to get some fresh air and take a walk around the block and let that person do that always.

But I think this, like, you have to keep in mind this like, it's okay if they need to have some alone time away for me. That's like more than healthy. But I think that's a great advice in general for how to like fight with somebody and coexist with a person in any relationship. It's like you should always be allowed to take your space. You should always take a walk. And I think that especially if you know that you're the kind of person, it's very reactive.

Yeah. Like definitely don't have that conversation right now. Don't stay in the space. Yeah. That's just great advice in general. But I think, you know, if somebody is a little new to this or maybe they're a little younger, they haven't had experienced with this, like if you move in with your guy, for example, and you haven't really experienced this because you haven't lived together.

And he says, hey, I just need to kind of get out. I'm going to go take a drive. Like, yeah, whatever. He could be going to fuck some other girl. Like, of course. But he might just need to just get out of the house. and, you know, that's fine. It doesn't mean your relationship is doomed.

And that's especially, like, that's also in the men are from ours, women are from Venus, how guys are more of a, like, need to go have some alone time, man time, man cave time. Like, whatever, they kind of retreat and things like that.

And I don't think you need to take it as a sign that your relationship's bad. I don't know that I look at it as like a masculine trait. Maybe it is. I'm very much like that. Yeah. I really need my space. And I think as you get older and you, like,

I've been single for a while. So I think that, like, if tomorrow I was in a very in love couple, I need a little more. space today than I used to because I'm just, I'm more set in my ways. I need a little more space. I need a little alone time. And like, yeah, obviously, like, if you have a big apartment, that's great and that's easy. But I think that, like, I think it's a great point. Like, just because you need that doesn't mean your relationship's over. But, like, I need those things. Like, I used to

always, like, be really overwhelmed with, like, the proximity to the other person. So I'd go to my office. I'd go see a movie about myself. Right. Exactly. Like, let them do that. Like, don't jump down their throat or start thinking the worst. I think my number, one thing in life, in cohabitating, like, whatever is pick your battles. I think I cannot scream this enough. And to me, I think there's a lot of little things that can happen when you live with somebody. And in general, men tend to like be a little messier, whatever. Not always the case. I mean, that wasn't really the case in my family. I think my mom's a little messier. But for me, like, I remember when I moved in with my ex, like, just one thing I remember was he would like

throw the towel over the top rung of the shower. And I'm like, we have a towel rack. You know, We have a towel rack. It's plenty long, long enough to stretch the towel out and dry it. He would just throw it over. And I said something once, not in a rude way. I was just like, hey, we have a towel rack, FYI. You know, and like, then I just gave up. And I was like, what do I care?

You know what I mean? He puts a toilet seat down. That's my thing. That's always going to be my thing. My brother, my dad, like, toilet seats down in our house. And that would be my battle to pick. I'm happy to put your towel in the towel rack or just stop caring. Like, I don't care.

And I think when you start picking apart everything those people are doing, I think you've got to pick those battles. And like, you can't just nitpick them on everything. Like, maybe they don't always put the toilet paper back in the roll. Just fucking do it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to be picking up after somebody. Let's be pretty clear. Like, I don't want to be picking up your socks every fucking day. But like, these little things that may have been a habit since they were kids are just like, just who cares? I mean, you're probably going to do things and annoying other person. I think men tend to have more annoying habits than women do. I mean, whatever. I'm not a man. I'm not a man.

So I don't know what they think of women. But like, I think men have been taken care of by their mother's their whole life and now they want you to take care of them and their mom probably hung out their towel after she threw it somewhere. You know my mom used to be fucking crazy. She'd leave post-it notes all over the house. It would be on the, it would be on the towels I left on the floor and stuff like that. And like nobody likes that. Don't mother a person. Don't do that. Oh, no, no, no. Passive aggressive shit. I think that like, yeah, all the battles you're going to have to pick involve like dishes and household chores. But I will say like you're entitled to have a fight with somebody if all they do is true

you like a maid and a cook. Have a fight. Oh, of course. But I think I said this on a previous episode. Sometimes you just need to tell the person what you need. They cannot read your mind. And I think about this all the time with the scene from the breakup. The breakup is my favorite movies. I've said this before.

I think it is the most realistic quote unquote rom-com out there. I guess it's the exact opposite of a rom-com they break up. But like I think it's so realistic how she's screaming like, he's like, why would I want to do the dishes? And she's like, I don't want you. I want you to want to do the dishes. And like, I remember when I dated somebody that he was just over all the time. I was like, hey, do you mind helping move the dishes and loading the dishwasher here and there?

Because, like, there's more dishes now because you're here. And he was like, yeah, oh my God, of course. Like men can just tend to be a little sloppier and they don't think of that stuff. And they let dishes pile up. All you have to do is say something and hopefully they will do it. Yeah, we say that a lot about relationships, you know, just like people aren't read your mind. They don't know what you want.

And I think that it's harder in relationships when somebody's not doing something emotionally that you need. And so, like, those conversations are harder. but like these should be easy conversations. Like hang up your towel, please do the dishes, please run some water of the dishes and I'll do them. Like whatever it is, like the little chore things. Like, yeah, men are babies. They've been taken care of their moms forever.

Just tell them. Yeah. And again, emotional things are a totally different thing. We're not talking about that today. But I think there's some things. One thing I also think about from the breakup is like how he came in and she's slaved all day over this meal for both of their families and he just turned on the TV and like threw his shoes off.

And she was like, are you kidding me? I need help. And like, I one time dealt with that. where I lived with somebody and we came home from this thing and we were like all dressed up and I felt like really sexy and like I just wanted to like be with my partner and like open a bottle whatever open a bottle line and have sex or whatever it was and like the TV just came on right away and if that's something that bothers you I think speak up and like maybe you set a rule we're like can you just not flip on the TV in sports center as soon as you walk on the door can we have like 10 minutes to download our day or I just want to talk to you because I miss you and I want to say hi like can we just talk to each other for a little bit I think those things are fine to say in the right don't let him get to you and then you blow up. say them in a calm, rational manner and talk this out with your partner. I think it's all about communication. There's nothing wrong with being like, hey, I just like, when I get home, I, like, when you get home, I just want to see you and can we just like chill for a sec before you start ignoring me, you know? Well, I think that that's what somebody falls into sometimes with like complacency

and they're too comfortable in a relationship. And I think that like, even though you're in a committed relationship and you live together, you should never stop dating. You should never stop saying to somebody, how is your day? It's my favorite question. Just tell me about your day. Just show some interest. Yeah, walk in and turn the TV on. It's your home.

Be comfortable. It's fine. But you can't stop acknowledging me because you know I'm going to be there and you should always be dating me at all times. When we're married, we've kids, you should always be dating me. Yeah.

I love that. Like, constantly doing stuff that's going to make your partner happy and make their day easier. Like, I was watching a girl's Instagram story the other day and she was like, I know that my husband doesn't really like clutter and I'm a messier person,

I know he doesn't yell at me, but I can tell when it's more, when the house is cleaner and not cluttery, he is less anxious. And so I do it because it's his priority. And I make his priority my priorities because I love him and I want his day to be easier. And he does the same for me. And I just think of those things because I think they go such a long way. And I'm talking even more to the guys here. I think women have tendency to be a little more like sweet and sentimental.

But like my love language is straight up coffee in the morning. Like if you bring me coffee in bed, like that goes the longest way or like bring me a coffee. It's like you wake up and get out of bed and turn the coffee maker on. Like I'm just like, I love you forever. Yeah, little things. But I just think that's what you're saying, like never stop dating. Like keep these things going. I think they go such a long way. Like cute, nice favors and like really trying to make someone's day a little bit easier. Like I remember I was seeing this guy. We were not living together, but I was visiting him because we were long distance and I was getting ready. And he was like, do you want to bring you a glass of wine while you get ready? And I was like,

what? Yes. And also. like give me that dick. Right, you're only going to earn yourself a blowjob. If you go to the bodega and spend $8 on a bouquet of flowers for me, I'm probably going to suck your dick. So like just don't forget to do those little things for me. Yeah, we always want flowers, Gary. That's also in the breakup.

You said you didn't like flowers. Oh, women love flowers, Gary. Like it's, yeah, okay, bring the fucking flowers home. I used to get grocery store flowers all the time. I didn't care. They were like dyed pink. Fine, whatever. Who cares, buy them.

And then women on the flowers. flip side, show your appreciation. Also, get on your knees. If you're at Kroger. But if you're a Kroger, also pick me up like a rotissory chicken. Like, don't stop with the flowers. If you're Publix, three chicken tenders, a little snack. I'll even slip a finger in your butt while I blow you if you bring home chicken tender.

What? Public's chicken tenders. But I think it's just these. What is somebody came out with green, like dyed green carnations? It's just some like cold buffalo chicken tenders. I'm like, ooh. Soulmate. to use a different hall tonight.

Those flowers, the water turns blue. So ugly. But I just think these things go such a long way, especially when you're living together. These little things that like brighten someone's day and then like conversely showing your appreciation for them I think are so important. Yeah, I think that a lot of women, you know,

we'll do another episode about cheating and like why people cheat, but I think that like women, I think cheat because they feel underappreciated and not seen and not like listen to and heard. And I'm not saying men don't cheat for that reason too. do. But I think that like always making your partner feel like they're relevant in your life, even though you know they're going to be home and there's nothing they can do about it, they have to be there. That's so true. Yeah. Like stop making people feel like, oh, you're locked in now. I'm going to stop doing the cute nice stuff. Yeah. I also just, I got to say, because my parents

lived together for 40 years and they're like the perfect couple. They have separate bedrooms. Both of my parents who separate bedrooms with their spouses. And it's just purely really is my dad snoring and my mom, they slept in the same bed, our entire childhoods, you know, like, because that's how many bedrooms we have. But now that they live on their own, they built a home, they're like, yeah, I don't need to live like that anymore. It's the quality of life thing. My mom, like, tossed and turned for 30 years. Like, you know, there's nothing wrong with one of your space. If that's what you need to have a lifelong relationship, like, I hope to be like, like, your parents someday. Yeah. If all you need is separate bedrooms to

make that, do it. I remember we, we did this little bachelor's thing for Corey's Bachelor's, at and the house we stayed in, it had two master suites. I was like, this fucking house. Like, two, like, mirroring, like, the same size master suites. I'm like, this couple has it fucking figured out. Separate bathrooms? Yeah, but, I mean, it's just, is this the one time that we're telling people to move out in New York?

I know. Don't live in New York. You can have separate bathrooms. But I just don't think there's anything wrong with not sleeping together every night. It doesn't mean you're not fucking. Yeah, but that's outside of New York. There's nobody in New York that isn't on top of each other. We have tons of listeners outside of New York.

I just have to say it because it doesn't, it's not realistic for probably most people listening to have two bedrooms, two master bedrooms, whatever. But in general, it doesn't mean the relationship is bad. We got an email from somebody a long time ago. I'm not going to try to find it right now. But it was a couple months ago and she said, I live in separate bedrooms with my man, and my friends all think it's weird. They make me feel terrible about it.

And my response to that is like, you still have a man. It's clearly working for you. Yes. Do whatever you want. Of course it works. Like especially if I'm just, I don't know. I'm not going to be able to sleep next to someone that even breathes for the rest of my life. I can't deal with any sound.

I know. I'm the same way. Like if there's light, if you do anything to turn a light on, I'll never forgive you. I'll kill you. So I say it more so, like, don't, like, we know a lot of you aren't just living in houses with extra bedrooms. But more so, like, it doesn't mean anything. I just think of my parents have full blown separate bedrooms. Best couple I know 40 years of marriage, you know?

Yeah. Like it's space. You need your space. Yeah. We're not meant to be on top of each other all the time. I always think about, there's like, this thing in girls where she goes to the hospital. to say goodbye to her grandmother, and she tells her grandmother she's going to marry Adam. And her grandmother says, there will be times in your marriage where you will look at your spouse

and you will hate them with every fiber of your being. It will pass. And I think that the way that you make it pass is just take a little space. Yes. Get some space. You know, you're not going to enjoy being around anybody. You and me are super close. I don't necessarily, I'm sure we want to kill each other after five days in the same hotel room

and four airports. It's a lot. It doesn't mean anything. It's not, it's not a deter, like, it says nothing about your relationship if the person gets on your fucking nerves and you need to step outside. If somebody didn't get on your nerves, it would be, like, what are they doing to tiptoe around you that much? I think people do, like, get in fights a little about little stuff about, like, cleaning. And I'm like, you know what? If you can't fucking figure it out, hire somebody to come clean your house.

You know what I mean? Like, I just think that was, we grew up with a gleaning lady. My parents are just not, they're just both kind of messy. like they're not slabs, but like neither of them are super anal in any way. And I think it probably was a lot of like, your turn to clean, your turn to clean. And they were like, fuck it. I think they probably-

Not everybody has money to hire people, but if it's in the budget, like stop fighting about it. Let somebody else take care of it. It's not worth it. Get a group on for it. I would say after money, probably like tidiness and maintenance of the apartment, it's probably the thing you guys were going to fight the most about. I remember as a kid growing up, it was very like,

they had their own things to do, like whether it was clean the kitchen or whatever. My dad, I think my dad had it right. he was just like, oh, you want me to unload the dish for sure? I'm going to break every fucking dish. Like, my dad broke a dish every night until my mom was like, fuck it. I'll do it. I love Lee so much. That's the strategy.

Love your dad. If they need you to do something, do it wrong, they'll never ask you to do it. No, seriously, like I use, I will never make a bed. I can't make a bed. I hate vacuuming. I love to tidy. I hate to clean. Floors, forget it.

And so I had a job. I worked at a diner when I was in high school and they would always try to make me mop at the end of the day and I would do the most ass, like terrible job you've ever seen in your life until they stopped making me do it. Because I just, I didn't enjoy it and so I made sure to leave everything dirty and wet

just dirty and wet is not a thing you want your floors to be in a restaurant. Too much water and I made no effort to clean the dirt up until they stopped making me do it. Right. I cannot make a bed. Really?

No, I just, we grew up not having to make our beds. I mean, my mom just didn't care. Like, Corey, if Corey's mom caught her, like, going to school. I mean, I think Corey's mom would have come and got her out of class. I swear to God. Well, you know, the fight is like, why do I have to make it? I'm going to unmake it later. This is the fight that every parent is out of every child forever.

But now, like, I make my bed every day. You do? But I only have a sheet and a comforter on it. So it takes me one second. I just pull the sheet up in the comforter. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what other people have in their bed. Buffy.

Co. G.G. for $20 off your first cover. I can't wait to go home and be on it. I know. Oh, I like look. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, where I see women getting a situation is if you're not paying any rent, and then you're expected to be a house cleaner.

And I've seen that happen. I don't look at it. I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't want to be put in a position where my partner is making me feel like I owe them a bunch of stuff. But I do think it is nice. If you can, we've said this in other episodes, like, if you can't pitch in financially, like, you do these other things. You pitch in other ways.

Don't be a piece of shit. Yeah. But I also, I just think people need to be open about that. As a man, too, speaking to the men, like if you have a situation and you're, you want your girlfriend run to move in. You're like, come on, babe, move in. Whatever. You don't make tons of money. Whatever. And it's, if you expect her to cook and clean, you better tell her that. And that's not not everyone, again, no mind reading over here. This stuff should be so cut and dry. This is the unsexiest part is the money, the cohabitating, like the sexy stuff comes into, but it's like

divvying up of living stuff. It's not sexy. You got to talk about it. But once you get through it, like I, I'm a big proponent of living together. I think it's really fun. You have something to a built-in person to like hang out with and have sex with and eat with. And like I love so much attention. I just like I love it so much. And I'm really big fan of living with somebody. And I'm a big fan of living with somebody before marriage. It's not for everybody.

But like I've really enjoyed it. No, I haven't made it to the finish line. That doesn't mean that I didn't have two successful relationships while I was in them. And I really, really enjoyed a lot of things about living together. I think in general, I do like having someone around probably more than people would assume. As long as they don't breathe. Some prickly. You're a prickly kid.

I was a prickly kid. But now I don't know. I've changed a little. I like my space. Yeah, but I think when you're really in love, you want less space. And like, I think that, or maybe you won't want less space

and then you'll find a way to live together. Or maybe you won't live together. I know married people that don't live together. That's the dream. Live in the same neighborhood. Live in the same neighborhood.

Same cul-de-sac. Date forever. Like you and me. We live in the same neighborhood. I know. I just think. I love this. You say it's like a one size fits one. It's like this is one of those things where there's no like one size fits all rules to live by. Yeah. I think just know that like once you make the decision, it is very hard to unmake the decision. So make sure you are very sure about it. I mean, find me a couple that moved in and then moved out and stayed together successfully. Guys, I never heard of it. I mean, it's just, I just remember that like when I broke out the first guy I lived with like when I threw him out of the apartment like and I had to like leave my place for three days. And I had to like leave my place for three days. let him get his stuff together

and then like he had to get a storage unit fuck him I don't care what he had to go through or how but like it costs a lot of money to get a moving company to come in in two days I don't know how he even did it but like I came back to my place after he did it half of our shit was gone I was in a half empty apartment that was just like destroyed and like I remember just sitting down on the floor and crying because it was just

so devastating I mean he cheated on me I was thrilled that he was gone but like to see this half empty apartment now that just has a bunch of like crap all over it it's it's a whole horrible thing. So, you know, I just would be like super sure about it because, yeah, you can't go back really. I'm super sure. Like what, I just think, like, what is, what is the rush? And I think sometimes women can be ready more than men. And I personally think that if your guy is kind of like,

I don't think I'm ready for that. I don't think I'm ready for that. Again, years and years, okay, like, let's take an inventory of the relationship. But if you're under a year in and you think that you should be living together and he seems, no, like, that's probably a good sign that he's not willing to rush into it. He maybe views you as somebody he does want to commit to and he knows that once he moves in, it's over. So like men and women, both, both sides, you want to live those like freedom days as long as you can. Why would you not? Like it's fun. Like if you view, this could be the rest of your life. Why would you rush into it? And I think the more thoughtful someone is about it, it's a good sign. Yeah. And you know if they're just not wanting to be with you.

You should. I think that most people know the answer to those questions. Yeah. Whether or not You had a friend recently. He was like being weird about moving in. Sure enough, he cheated on him and they broke up. Yeah, I think that she wanted to move in with him. Like we were saying maybe for the, I don't know that she wanted to move in together. I think that she knew once he signed a lease, it was going to be another year that they didn't live together. Yeah.

And so I think she was wanting to really have those conversations and really grasping at things because she wasn't super comfortable in the relationship. And, you know, ultimately they did break up because he wasn't a nice guy. And I think that like she didn't feel comfortable and she needed that reassurance because he really wasn't fully in the. relationship and you know he proved to not be a nice person and fuck him but like yeah just ask yourself why you want to do it yeah and I guess if we're on the on an even higher level we're talking about buying a place and doing all these things like just I mean like duh make sure you're protected I mean like it talked to you an attorney always like make sure someone can't buy a home put it in their name and then you break up and you're on the streets like duh well that's

great advice in general I mean yeah make sure like everybody knows financially what's what's what's What's what? Yeah. Exactly. Open communication. Talk about money. Money. If you can't talk about money, you're going to break up.

I'm telling you right now. What you see her face? Your relationship is doomed. I know what happened. I just, I know it. I know what's going to happen. I doubt that Pete and Ariana had a conversation when he moved into her place. Well, hopefully he has that conversation with Kate back in sale.

Oh, my God. All right. Are we going to do a few of those took a turns? Yeah, we've been done this in a little while. I'm really excited. We've been getting some good ones. Guys keep sending these tests. These are very funny.

We love this to turn. Okay. This first one is not text messages. It's a scenario she sent us. So I was on a date at a bar. Sister Louise's Church in Atlanta. I'm sure Ashley knows it. Do you know it?

Yeah. It's one of the best bars. It's cool place. You put on choir robes. It's all very sacrilegious. Is that the word? Yeah. It's all this like crazy art,

but it's like, quote unquote, religious. And you play ping pong. It's wonderful. This is hysterical. Okay. That's a great bar. All right. So it sounds like he picked a great place.

Yeah. Right? Interesting place for a date. I like it. Okay. Also, she said the date was going really well. Nice. I thought the guy I was with was maybe naturally high energy, enthusiastic and enthusiastic.

And enthusiastic. He was really hot and smart, so I was excited. Nice. We ended up going back to my apartment. All of a sudden, he got really serious and was like, I have to tell you something. I'm actually really fucked up right now. I ordered liquid cocaine off the dark way. Dark web.

And I have it with me right now. Do you want to try it? Liquid cocaine. Do you know what this is? I've done crack and I don't even know a liquid cocaine is. Okay. I've done a lot of drugs, but I had never heard of liquid cocaine. And he had a syringe and everything with him.

Oh. He kept telling me it's quote unquote probably safe if I just did a little bit. But I was like, no, I'm not really in the mood to shoot cocaine. into my veins. Who is this? Atlanta's small town. Someone sent, who is this person? Anyway, it was a little too much for a first date and he got pretty pushy about it.

So I ended up asking him to leave. But damn, I look back at it now and laugh how normal I thought he was. Yes. Okay. What is liquid cocaine? That is very funny. The dark web. The dark.

What if you're on a first date was, listen, I know that people like to dabble. in drugs, dabble in coke all you want. I'm on a first date with somebody and they bring out a syringe. Yeah. If it has to be injected into your body, that is at least third date, third date material. Okay. Someone said us one that they were on a date. I don't know if this is a guitar.

I think it was a psycho power move. And some guy came back from the bathroom with clear coke on his nose. She was like, did you just do coke in the bathroom? And he was like, yeah. Like, I mean, can you imagine? Yes, it's happened to me before. Someone just went and did Coke in the bathroom. Yeah, it didn't even offer it to me.

It just went to the bathroom and came back with a ring around his nose. Like, did you not use a mirror? He's like, sorry, a long day. Like, it's Tuesday. Like, the normal things, like order an espresso. He's like, you know what, I'll be back. Cote in the bathroom, does a bump. You know I was on a date with somebody?

It was a Sunday at like 5.30. We were at Tacombie. Just like casual on Bleaker Street. Just like hanging out, had like a margarita. It's like Sunday, Sunday. We had like a drink or drink or day. He called his dealer at 5 o'clock. in the afternoon.

On Sunday. Nice, nice. We only dated for like two months after. You love him. He's the one that got away. I know he is. I hope he listens to this. I would still fuck him a little bit.

Just so you know. Okay. This one, they are on Bumble. I like this conversation because it makes me hungry. Okay, so I guess she's talking about... Actually, like, there's one about snacks. There's one about food.

She's talking about her buffalo chicken dip or whatever. I don't know. Bottom line, he goes, hey now, I've had amazing buffalo dip, but I've never had an amazing. using Taylor. Obviously, your name's Taylor. She goes, you haven't had my buffalo chicken dip. And he goes, Taylor, is that a challenge? I went into the night looking for a friend. I came out looking at a challenger. She goes, I'm always a challenger. He goes, I will give you a chicken

dip that will make you so wet. You won't be able to talk shit anymore. I can dip. It's making your pussy wet. What is in this? Right. It's just like run of the mill, blue cheese and friends. I didn't even realize the rest. I, there's more. Oh, sorry, there's more. He goes, You will never be as spicy as I am. She goes, ha ha, sometimes it's not all about the kick. It's about everything else involved. And he goes, all involve you and all the kick. I call my dick the jalapeno.

I love that he like carries the same theme throughout. It's like a real callback there, the jalapeno. I call my dick the jalapeno. Because it's hot like that. And she goes, hold on. Don't laugh. Let me finish the final sentence. Don't look at me.

She goes, whoof, that took a turn. This is my favorite dirty tacos. It involves snacks. I know. And like my favorite snacks. Do you think he's uncircumcised if his dick is a jalapeno?

It's a weird thing to compare your dick to. I don't know. I also don't like, like, when I think of spicy, I think of like sweaty pits. Like, I don't need a spicy body part. Like, when I start sweating on a hot summer day, I'm like, got some spicy pits. Like, I don't need you to be spicy.

No, you can say like your pussy is spicy. No. That does not make someone want to lick it. Yeah, like it's hot. Nope. Not. It's the wrong analogy for you. I'm going to be sweet over spicy.

Compare your dick to a cupcake if you want to fuck Ashley. I will say this. I will say this line turns me on a little bit. I will give you a chicken dip that will make you so wet. You won't be able to talk shit anymore. I like it. I like it because it involves food. He's talking shit.

It's really funny. Like, it's a little, like, it's a little aggressive. Like, I'll shut you up. But like, he's kind of hot. Yeah, but he's using chicken dip. It's very funny. I like this, dude. I'm dating him.

All right. I'm dating him and his jalapeno popper. Do I have one more? This was a life that took a turn. Why is that so funny? This is, this was not a submission to this game. This is just a regular girl. I mean, whatever.

I want to read her whole thing. It's very nice. Okay. She says, okay, I listen to your podcast. today and really enjoyed it as always. Just wanted to tell you both, you absolutely changed my life, and I'm not exaggerating at all. Started listening to your amazing podcast a few months ago. Your podcast finally gave the courage, finally gave me the courage to start dating and get myself out there. Good thing to mention, I was still a virgin at that time at 24. Now a couple of months

later, I am happily dating a polyamorous married man and doing BDSM. How Things Can Change. Thanks for making this podcast. Blah, blah, blah. I'm literally. living in a 50 Shades a great movie right now. From Virgin to BDS. What are we out here telling people? Like, what did she listen to that caused her to do that? Like, what episode was it? I always wonder, like, what Instagram post it was that caused somebody to unfollow me?

Like, what episode was she was like, this, my whole life is going to take it to her. A polyamorous couple and he's tying her up and shit. Yes. Wow. How did this? How do you get that? This is so wild. This took.

A turn. It took the turn. Which really changed her whole life. Congrats, sister. I think that's, we'll wrap it up on the life turn. That's it for today. I hope you guys liked it. We love doing these episodes just us.

Everyone's scared. Cohabit. Cohabit. Whatever. Nothing I thought was a word is a word. I don't even know why I'm trying to fight you on this. Follow us on Instagram. Girls Gottyup Podcast.com for tickets and merchandise.

Obviously, we have tickets for sale coming up. Check them out. Get some T-shirts and hats to wear out of the shows. I love our merch. It's very cute. We don't push it as hard as we used to. I love our merchandise. Yes, and we will have new stuff coming out soon.

And we will see you guys in Tampa, in Miami, in Philly, in Brooklyn, in San Francisco, in Portland and Seattle. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. Okay, guys. Thanks, guys. Have a good week. Thanks. Bye.