Girls Gotta Eat - Shift Your Energy, Change Your Life feat. Alyssa Amoroso

Episode Date: November 20, 2023

Our good friend Alyssa Amoroso (aka Publyssity) joins us this week to spill the tea on her relationship, the trip that changed her dating trajectory, and so much more. The main theme of the episode is how shifting your energy can lead to big changes in your life, and we discuss her current relationship from how they met (she offers some insightful dating app advice) to the recent "DTR" to how people treat her now that she's coupled up (and the mixed feelings she has on it). We also chat about her move to LA, why she got rid of her therapist (and the positive impact it had), and making the decision to stop letting insecurities hold you back. Before Alyssa joins us, we're sharing some Thanksgiving Eve hookup stories; Ashley has a big life/body update, and we're now taking dating applications for Rayna. Enjoy! Follow Alyssa on Instagram at @publyssity, check out her podcast Tea with Publyssity, and buy her tea at teawithpublyssity.com. Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Skims: Get free shipping on orders over $75 at skims.com. Storyworth: Get $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more article.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm ready to live my life now. And I made like a choice in my head to be like, I'm not letting any of this like shackle me anymore. So it of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Happy Thanksgiving week. My favorite holiday of the year. Oh my God.

I do reel you in. Early on, Raina would want to talk about Thanksgiving for three weeks. She'd want to talk about leading up to it and then post. And then it would be like mid-December and she'd be like, well, maybe we should just recap Thanksgiving again. It would start right after Halloween. you'd be like, is it time we should start talking about Thanksgiving?

I'd be like, rain it. It's just, it's a dinner. No, it's more than that. But it is like, remember that? Do I remember? Yeah, it's hard if we're not doing it every single year. I love Thanksgiving so much. It's food related.

All I care about is food. And like Christmas doesn't mean anything to me. Like, it's a wonderful tradition every year. I love being with your family, but I don't care about it. Like, no offense, but Jesus's birthday means nothing to me. But turkey and side dishes means a lot to me. Yeah. So,

Jesus's birthday, Allegedly. Don't care. I care if you guys care, but just kidding. Listen, every year I make her request, I'd like to levy this. Please tag me in your Thanksgiving place.

That's right. I reposts like hundreds of them. I swear I lose thousands of followers every year. You really overpost. I love to see it. Everybody tags me in their beige carb photos. I love seeing all of your Thanksgiving spreads. It just,

it makes me feel like I'm a part of it with you guys. So please tag me in everything like really small. I'll repose probably all of them. I used to say you can confess to me any of your family drama. Oh, yeah. So if something crazy happens, you can DM me. I will try to get to it. But I love to hear other people's gossip.

I know. Like if you, I always said, like, if you need to vent, just go into your childhood bedroom. Like, let me know what's going on. Okay, so you're going to DM Ashley or family gossip. And tag me in all of your Instagram stories of all of your Thanksgiving plates. I just like to feel like I'm there with you. Or like if you like hook up with somebody on Wednesday before Thanksgiving, like your hometown crush.

Oh my God. Or you know somebody that maybe used to teach with your mom and then you wake up and you're in your ex-vice principal's house like I did. You know this story. What? You know the story right now. I've talked about it. No, I don't.

Yeah. Right now I've told it on the podcast. I hooked up with that guy that used to teach with my mom. and he was my old vice principal's son from like my middle school vice principal and I woke up and I went home with him so drunk and we went back to his parents. He was a lot over to me.

Yes, he was like 10 years older than me. He was also home for the holidays. And I woke up and why did I hear my old vice principal's voice? Because he had a very distinct voice. He sounded like bullwinkle. And I hear him and I'm like, where are we? And he was like, I told you where are my parents house. I'm like, you got to be fucking kidding me.

So I had to go downstairs on Thanksgiving morning. But did you know, you knew he was the son of the vice principal? Yeah, like loosely. And did you know you were in like a parent's home? I guess I knew that earlier when I was blacked out drunk, but no, I woke up and didn't remember. And so I had to go downstairs and like greet my old vice principal. And then he was like, hi, Ashley, good to see you. I'm like, oh my God, this guy's not seen me since I was 12.

You were like, what would you grade this ass? And then he had to drive me home. And then I had to tell my mom like, I hooked up with your old coworker. You actually didn't have to tell your mom that. No, sorry, I didn't have to tell her, but she was like, who dropped you off? And I did like, the way that I would be the most hungover on Thanksgiving Day. Because that night was just the hardest we went, had a new outfit we would go out so hardened over. Delaware, tear it up.

One year, okay, the guy that I lost my virginity to, he was coming back into town. I was in town. His mom was picking him up at the airport, like on Wednesday night. And I had her pick him up at the airport. drive to my house and pick me up and drive both of us back to his house. She picked me up for a buddy call. No. That's iconic.

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and things like that. And that's going to be at vibes only.com. There'll be a pop up and you guys get it. You don't want to sign it for newsletters. And we're not going to spam you. You know, we take it very seriously. And then, of course, follow along on social at Vives Only as well. Yes.

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the juiced up lube is incredible. It's in the squeeze tube. So you can use it one-handed. And then the suck and blow gel, which is to suck a dick or eat a vulva friendly for both. And that's why we changed the name to the suck and blow gel from blow gel. And we have our new holiday flavors, which is peppermint patty and sugar cookie. We gifted it to a friend. And she said, I've never enjoyed giving a blowjob so much before. Well, we gave it to a friend who is in a relationship. Like, we kind of gave it to them as a couple gift to celebrate an accomplishment of hers.

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He was like, she's just laying here smiling in the dark like the Joker. And he took a picture of her like with her consent. And she was just so happy looking. I love that photo. I want to use it as where I know. I was like this is our next ad campaign. Like it is such a game changer because especially the Lucy has that finger sleeve for guys

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And then, of course, we're going to be having a great Black Friday sale this week, and you can get stuff for gifts for everybody. Yes. Okay. So speaking of Pussy's, huge update today with me. Okay. Today, I am starting my laser hair removal journey. I am so excited for you.

I will say that, of course, I should have done this before. I've just been out here, like, getting sugared. You know, which no shade. You are just so brave. I don't know how you've been doing this for so many years. I know. And it's just like I had my underarms done so, so long ago. I was like early on days of this when I lived in Atlanta.

Like so long ago, and I love it. And I just think it was so much more painful at that time with the technology that was like 10 years ago, 10 plus maybe, that I was just like, I cannot imagine that in my vagina. So I just feel like it's taken a while for people to be like, trust me, it doesn't hurt as bad as it used to. It doesn't hurt more than a wax. Like if you're getting it ripped out, you can handle laser. And then it's so much cheaper than it used to be. And actually it was an email from a listener that shamed us and was like, if I hear about you to getting your pussies waxed one more time.

The two of us, I don't surprise to the culture. I know. Sometimes emails like that, like I don't like being like shame for my life choices. You know what I mean? But she was right. She's like, you need to stop this. This woman owns a laser place in Canada or something. And then she was like, I obviously can't do this for you, but I can give you recommendations.

And literally it was her email. I was like, she's right. And I deserve this. Shaming. I brought her back. I was like, thank you for shaming me. I don't know how you've been dealing with it for this many years. I've got it done three times.

I am sweating. I'm panicking. I can't take enough blood pressure meds to get through it. I'm crawling up the walls. Like, you're braver than I am. I cannot get a wax. I also don't mind having some hair. Like, I just,

that doesn't bother me. My hair is blonde and it's thin. Yeah. So I don't mind it. You know, I had this thing of like, what if I end up with some guy that has like a bush fantasy? Or he really is like sad that I can, never grow a bush for him.

Is it a Merkin? Raina, I actually found out what a Merkin is from naked attraction. From the internet? No, what is it? So, you know, I learned everything from naked attraction. Merkins are, because pubic hair used to be like a sexy thing back in the day. It was like symbolism. It was like what men wanted.

So women, if they had genital lice, they'd have to shave their whole pussy to get rid of it. And then that's, they would wear a Merkin. So they had, like, pussy hair. Like, it's crazy. I'm dead serious. I'm dead serious. The way you say, Murchin. Why? I'm not. I love it. It's so funny.

Can you imagine shaving your pussy because you have pubic lice and then you have to wear a fake pussy hair? You still won't watch naked attraction. I'm not her getting an education. I feel like I'm being waterboarded by the show. This is the second time this episode you brought it up. That was the first, because she's going to bring it up later. She's going to bring it

later. Spoiler alert. You already did talk about it later. And I feel like I talk about it every week with you and Sparkle Eyes also. And you told me about what he thinks about. I'm getting waterboarded by the show. I feel like I've seen it. Okay. Last thing I'll say, I'm not going to tell you guys right now where I'm going because like what if it's bad. And then I got to come back on and be like it was bad. But I'm going to a reputable place, of course. And so I will share, you know, once I go through a couple treatments. But yeah, I had to do a full shave last night. I was so spent. Wait, you have to do full shave?

You have to shave when you're doing laser. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, interesting. Well, you have to be hair-free. Oh, I didn't know. But you're not supposed to wax. I do think maybe they need to see a little bit of the follicle. And you know, you can't get sun down there.

I mean, I know the drill because I've had my underarms done, which I love. And so, yeah, but back to what I was saying, I just think that, like, you know, I'm with the person I'm going to be with, you know, we'll see. Like, obviously, we both see a long-term future together. And I'm just like, I'm done with this. Is he, like, a fan of pubic hair? Does he care? No, that's what I'm saying.

I feel like I'm with somebody that, you know, I think he's fine with whatever I choose, but he doesn't have some like bush fetish and he likes, you know, a well-groomed, like, bear pussy. He's fine with it. I don't mind having some hair. I think it's like womanly and sexy, but I also just, I find it itchy. So I just, I don't have any need to have hair. That's the thing.

I can't stress it enough that it is not about aesthetic things for me. It's not for men also. Like, you deal with whatever I want to do, but it's uncomfortable for me. Yeah, it's itchy. And then you want to wear a bathing suit. you know, we live in California, if we're not, we're traveling, you know, then you've got to deal with that. Uh-huh. You know, I'm scarred from my mom asking me if I can look at her boobs. And people really had bushes back then.

No, my mom, when I was a kid, I was said this before, but I remember a couple times she had like a bathing suit on and she called me in and was like, can you see any, like, hair on the sides of this? And I was like, I have to leave this family. People had so much hair back then. I don't even know how they wore bathing shoes. That's my childhood trauma. That's my wound. Which wound is that? The pubic hair wound.

The pubic hair in the 80s wound. Okay. I have news. Okay. Which I wanted to share. This is a week late, but we do record. No, you already know this. We can talk about it all down.

I think I was getting into fresh tea. Fresh tea. No, there's no such thing as that in our lives. So this is a week late, but there's no one that beat the drama of being so sick of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey harder than me. I could not stand it. I feel like I'm getting waterboarded.

them too. So it's just my whole feed. I just don't care. I don't fucking care. But I woke up Sunday. And my entire feed was her getting off stage from her sold out show in Argentina. And like, she's kind of like walking. You guys have all seen the video. And then she's walking like really confidently. And she just sees him. She just like takes off. And it's so like, it's so childlike almost in like the sweetest way. And I loved watching videos of him reacting to her change the lyrics to the song. And it's just I love their like love for each other. It's just, it's just, it really turned it around for me. I'm so glad.

You had your theory about why, and I want to talk about it, but I loved watching him be so proud of her, so unapologetically proud of her. She's more successful than him. She's more successful than everybody in the world. I mean, he's also won multiple super pulls. He's really successful. But like to just watch her, like, get off stage,

and she has tens of thousands of people cheering for her, and you could tell the best moment of her life was like having her man tell her that he was proud of her. It was so special. I couldn't get enough of it. I loved it. And I have a lot to say. I mean, I think the woman in me and the feminist in me is like, yes, this is so much more dope to see him watching her crush it than this woman watch this man play football.

I think both are great. You want to support your partner and what they do. But like him watching her at this stadium, this worldwide tour, is so much better to me to see than watching a woman cheer for her man on football field. But as also a female performer, I relate to it on that level. And, you know, some troll is going to be like, can you believe they compared themselves to Taylor Swift? We're not, but we still do perform. We still, you know, on a level, like we perform and do theaters and, you know, have a fan base and things like that. And like, it does hit you different. And I always joke and I always send these things to sparkle eyes and I'm like, this is us. You know, because jokingly, I'm like, he came to

her show and he had a crush on her and he made her bracelet and stuff like that. So I'll always joke and the way he holds her hand reminds me very much of us. Like kidding. But the way she runs off, I was like, I feel like it was a way I ran up to him in L.A. You know, like I was like, I'm going to do that when we get off the stage at the beacon. Like, it's really nice. And so it hits me on like a personal level. But I also like it because I think it's sending a good message of like a man showing up for his partner. Like I think, you know, I know that they're celebrities and they're not relatable to the average person, but they still are people that like little girls look up to. And like so many little girls look up to Taylor Swift. And it's like it's nice to see not just her going to support

her partner, but him showing up for her and like what it really looks like to like look at your partner with such admiration and like show up. I know. I just. She's weirdly relatable in a way that she shouldn't be. Well, this is so public. It's shocking. Well, I want to talk about that too. But she's relatable. Like, she can sell out like, what, three times what Beyonce can sell out.

And like Jennifer Lopez. And, like, she just can. But, like, I've never seen Beyonce hop off a stage and move her body like that. She just sort of like hops off and, like, runs towards Travis Kelsey. I've never seen another artist do this. And you look at her and you're like, she's me. She's what I would do. You're right.

And Beyonce is godlike. She is larger than life. She doesn't feel human. Yes. And that's not to say that she doesn't show human emotion and whatnot. And like Jay-Z came to all her shows too. And the show in L.A. He was right there.

She was like being all sexy for him. We'd love to see it. But Taylor Swift does feel like more human. And like a real person, like you can see yourself in her. And also I can see myself in her because she is tall and she looks awkward sometimes. She looks really awkward. Like the way she rang. The way she ran, I wanted to say it looked awkward, but I was like, that is me.

That is you. The way she did. different. Our bodies aren't that different. The way that she was like had this like fierce walk and then broke out into like a child like run. I don't even want to see the video that Ryan shot of me running up to spark a lot. It's the exact same. Ashley.

Like I saw that video and I was like is this Ashley? It's just it's child like sexy at 510. It's hard to you would look sexier. It's hard to look sexy running by the way. No one looks sexy running. But also it's just like I keep what I'm talking about this like even matter.

I can't either, bitch. I can't either. But like, here you have it, guys. Now I'll talk about it. No one she's dated in the past. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong. No one, like, showed up for her publicly like this. I've never seen anybody she's ever dated be like so openly hyping her.

I feel like Joe Alwin, like, who even knew who that guy was? I fucking love it. I get like really emotion thinking about it. And you're exactly right. And can I tell you what a very funny thought last night? I thought like, because they do feel weirdly relatable. I thought of this like, when are they going to hard law? on Instagram.

She posted today, and in my mind, I was like, wait, what if the last photo was him? Like, I put them in our reality that they're going to do a hard lodge or a soft lodge. I know. They're weirdly relatable. I don't know. She changed, like, the lyrics to a song in front of like, I don't know, 70,000 people and they just pan him and he's like heading his hands. And it's like so cute.

I saw a comment that said he didn't know how to vibe because he's going, well, no man knows how to vibe to Taylor Swift, but they want to. I was Kelsey, he can dance, he has flavor, but that's not the kind of music. But he was still doing his R&B swag to karma. I just the karma is like watching him. I saw these guys like you don't expect to be Taylor Swift fans like Andrew Schultz and Nick Viol. And like all these guys at the concerts and I like watching them try to dance to it. So she won me back.

I think, yeah, I think I'm just, I'm bored watching her in this like box cheer for him and football. I don't care that much. I mean, listen, it's really wild. Yeah, Branyel Holmes is brooded for me. It's Brinium Holmes curls. It's not her. It's just the curls. Brush them out.

She's in a skims ad. That's our sponsor. I know. I don't want to hate too hard because they are the family of skims apparently. They're like the America's family. Like they won multiple Super Bowl. They're not America's family. You know that.

And you said, and you know that. The Kardashians are America's family. You and I are America's family. You, me, and Azul. It does. So I have to go home for the holidays. And I say I have to because it is so hard to get to Pittsburgh from L.A. It is really a nightmare.

But my brother is flying in from London with his wife. So I'll get to see them. And, yeah, I'll be in Pittsburgh for the week. It'll be nice. We're just going to spend some time with my sister-in-law and her family and my family. And that's it. I don't have anything else more special to say. I just want to talk about what you were doing.

That's it. That's all I got. Well, this weekend, which is the weekend before Thanksgiving, as we record, I am going to Boston to be with Sparkalize. So we're kind of celebrating the holidays. It's like, it's also time for me to go there. I haven't been there in a minute. So I'm going there. I'm meeting his parents for the first time. I feel great. I'm really excited. I feel like I know a lot about them. They know a lot about me. His mom's seen us on like the view and talking about him. Is she going to cook? Gail K. or CBS mornings too. We're going to, we're going out to brunch. Okay, you are. Yeah. And.

I have met his sister and her husband. I mentioned that before and they are wonderful. So I'm really excited to the final people to meet are his parents. And we're just going to have a nice, really cute weekend in Boston. We're going to do a day trip, I think, up to like Portsmouth, New Hampshire one day. We're going to see Mateo. So Mateo was doing six or seven shows at the Wilbur. So we're going to go see him, which, you know, cute thing is that that's where we met.

Oh, yeah. So we're going to go to the Wilbur. And I'm just really excited. And then Monday, I'm going to Delaware. and still in this home buying process, I had a really discouraging situation happened last week where I put an offer in this house and was sure I was going to get it and I didn't.

It just really took the wind out of my sales and I feel like so motivated to still buy a house there. And so I'm going to see some while I'm home and then, you know, do the holidays and come back here after that. Yeah. So that's the plan. Okay. What to be fun.

Rain, I had an idea. I think that we should start taking dating applications for you. Great. Let's do it. So if you have somebody that is age appropriate, 30s. I'll go up to 45. 33 to 45? I'll go 35, 45.

35 to 45. 33 is a little young. No offense. Wow. Shots fire. She really. I heard the air relief test's body. We had lunch and then chose violence today.

Are you? I'm also older than you. I hate you. I'm trying to help you. Some of us can't run with younger men the way you can't. Okay. 35 to 45. 33 is fine.

45 is too old for me. 45 is too old for me. No, no. It's not trying to be to ages. Let's be honest. It's way too old for me. Okay. 35 to 45.

33 to 43. You guys use your description. We will make special acceptance. We'll make special exceptions. That are 32 or 43 and above. Seven. Okay. Seven.

They need to have a job. Yes. Or be independently very wealthy. Sure. That too. Stability in their career. Something that they enjoy doing, you know, liberal enough. Let's believe in abortion.

Let's have them be pro-choice. You said liberal enough. Well, I don't know. It's fine. It could be moderately. But what is it? I'm fine. Yeah.

Financially, fiscally Good. Rich. I want you to believe in the rights of gay people, trans people, women.

I want you to believe in human rights for other people. But not too far left. Like if you want to sleep next to a handgun, I'm fine with that too. But not too far left

where you're like everything's just energy and meditation. Right. Raina's not going to march to the every week. She'll donate. I'll donate.

She'll sponsor your walk. And attractive, preferred bald muscular with tattoos, but will settle for muscular with tattoos and not bald. Yeah, with hair. And funny. Yeah, enough. Yeah, you need to have a good sense of humor and be able to banter with you. You know, doesn't hate his family.

If he doesn't have one, that's fine. That's fine. You've been there before. We have with my family. We have our own family. We'll actually America's family. We'll be with Ashley's family for Christmas. So it's actually better for me if you don't have a family.

So listen, guys, don't bond the inbox if you don't really have a candidate. But if you really feel like you might have somebody. In New York and L.A. Yeah. Either one of those. Or, like, I don't know if they're like sort of New York L.A., but they're like in Austin right now. I was going to say Austin. That's fine.

I could deal with Austin. Yeah. It's a liberal adjacent. Let's say you have this guy that lives in like, remember they talked to that guy that one time? Just because he was like hot. You were more specific. In Arizona. Somebody messaged me.

I was like, my friend is a crush on you. He's like seen you or whatever. Yes, I do. And he was hot. And we started to hear it. But it was never going to work. Listen, it has to be somewhere that I'm willing to live at one point in my life. Yeah, it's fine.

I mean, I'm not like moving to Boston, but we're making it work. Totally. So I'm leading this charge. I love it. I will read applications. You know, I was having some weird feelings this weekend, and I woke up today's new day, and we're only dating people that make sense. Yes, that makes sense.

I love that energy. Yes. Yes. Because all this other childish behavior is beneath me. Okay. Well, I'm glad. Let me cross off my notes. taking dating applications for right now that's so cute thanks for doing that okay do you anything else i'm

just excited to be in charge of this i mean honestly someone has to be and i don't want it to be me okay i make notes sometimes inside of my notebook that just says like go on a dating app and then i don't do it i had that one date recently that was like kind of bad it like scared me a little bit i don't like it but i just think you know i love our listeners so much i know we gas up our listeners and thank them all the time but they are so special like you've said this before in a recent episode we've getting so many more emails than usual. Everything's just been so positive and wonderful. And the things that you guys send us and message us and share with us is just really incredible. I know hands down we have the best audience in the world. And so I just trust them. I mean, I met my now boyfriend

through a girl's got to eat listener. So I just trust them, you know, that they might have like a friend or a friend or a friend or a friend, like something like they get us. Absolutely. And then I could be at your Thanksgiving dinners next year. You never know. True. Yeah. You want to win a Thanksgiving with Raina? Just find me my next boyfriend.

I'm obsessed with this contest. I can't wait for you to do it for me. That's what you're going to do on the plane. I'm really, I'm glad that you brought up and thank you guys. Just email Stories at Girls Gotteeat.com. Sorry, Stories of Girls Gotteeat.com and write just something funny. Reina for Raina. I just, I was just thinking about this as I spend more time in Boston.

Like, I just feel really like our listeners. They are like, I love them so much. Like some cities feel a little bit more. like home than others. And that's not even a city that I've been to so, so much. But it's like our Boston girlies, like I feel taken care of. Like I broke that nail all that time and they were my DMs with the nail salon racks. Like I feel like as I spend time there, like anything I need, they got me. Like on the streets, in the DMs, I just feel really like taken care of by them. Well, I'm glad you brought this up because it was my notes for today because it is Thanksgiving week.

And I just wanted to thank our listeners, obviously. And I've been a little emo and I feel like this is Friday night. I wanted to like end my week. Actually, you and I do try to respond to all the thank you emails you guys send and it might take us a month or two sometimes but we do try to get to it and we always I hope make you feel thanked for giving us your time and your stories and your money honestly you come to live shows you support vibes only like to do anything for six years is unreal to me but to do it like with somebody that I love and have an audience like this that is like grown up with us like I'll never do anything that means more than that I never will this is it and so many of the emails they don't just say like I love the show it's so funny they say like

you taught me how to own who I am you taught you taught me how to own who I am you taught me self-confidence. Like, you've shown me how, like, be myself again. Yeah. And so many of you shared emails about really horrible situations in your lives, divorces and illnesses and loss of parents and struggles having children and to know that, like, we're, like, with you and making you, like, you're okay and you can be confident and you have, like, a friend out there in the world that understands you, like, nothing will ever mean more to me. So thank you guys. And we love you. And to be able to do this for so many years is so special to me and to be able to do it with somebody I love, like Ashley is really wonderful and we found Tessa this year and we're so thankful for her and

she works so hard and she's so wonderful and I don't know I'm just very thankful for this community. I am too. I was weirdly thinking about this morning in my walk like just what you and I have done over the years and like how we just still look at each other like how is this for a life and we couldn't do it without our listeners and you know that just jogged my memory that we didn't actually say a thank you post San Diego because we were recording before we went to San Diego. San Diego was wonderful. It was an incredible show but we did kick off the show and we were read this email and this woman wrote in. The email was like about her best friend, basically being by her side through breast cancer and a divorce and like an all time low and just kept her

laughing and like sharing this podcast with her and just like keeping her afloat, you know, and like the whole audience stood up and gave her like a standing ovation. Why am I doing this? I just, that show we started on that note and then of course it got like funny and crazy, but it was like this really special friendship. And girlfriends are what help us survive, you know? And so. So the women that realize that really, you know, you get it. And thank you for being a part of this community, like Raina said. Yeah. I love you guys.

Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. This show has gotten so emo. I didn't cry so much. It used to be why they laugh so much and why they cry so much. They're just old and hormonal. They're pre-metapausal. Okay.

We are so excited for you guys to hear this conversation with. our guest today. We couldn't love it anymore. Yes. So get into it. Okay, guys, we are so excited to finally welcome a friend of ours to the show. We've wanted her on here for so long. We've both done her podcast. We hang out with her all the time. She is the, you're an influencer. You're just like my fashion goddess. Gossip Factory. Gossip Factory. You are the host of Tee with publicity and the owner of the tea company, Tee with Publicity. Please welcome to the show. Our friend, We're so happy to have you at Liss Amaroso. Hi.

Hi. No, I'm so excited to be here. And we've had a journey because our friendships started on your podcast. My podcast separately. Yes, I was just thinking that. We were talking on the beach. We all went to the beach Saturday because, you know, it's like November in L.A. And we can.

We were talking with Ali Colbert about, like, how you're such a person, like, you immediately vibe with. That's so nice. We were friends within like five minutes. Probably same with you. Well, Ashley, like, did your podcast. And she could not stop talking about it. She was like, I vibe with her immediately.

We're going to be such good friends. And I was like, you can't have a friend that I don't have. And she just, like, loved doing your podcast. She really came home. She talked about you constantly. And she's like, listen to you're talking. And I was like, I want to do that podcast. We were about to live the same life.

Yeah, it was really weird. But also, like, that's such a nice compliment that you guys think I vibe with people instantly. And like, yes, I'm a people person. But it's because you guys are like that too. Yeah. Like, we just hit it all. Like, our energies matched. It wasn't just like, because me.

Like, we just got along. We were doing the exact same thing at the exact same time, which was like so weird. Yeah. Well, and then you connected this whole friend. friend group here in L.A. Yeah. We talked about this in the podcast. We just had like five girls over one night.

We walked in. It was just like, that, that, that, immediate. I don't believe in gatekeeping, like contacts or friends.

Like, if I'm like, oh, I'm launching this thing and you're like, oh, I want to do that. I'm like, oh, I'll introduce you to the person. Yeah.

I don't believe in, like, gatekeeping contacts, people. Like, I want my friends to be friends. Yeah. I want everyone to meet. Like, I just think that's how the world goes around.

You are, you're not about gatekeeping any, like, deals. You ever do you think on your Instagram is like a day and a life with me. Yeah. So we talked about me doing painting in my house and that I like had like followed this girl's Instagram on how to like go get a frame piece of canvas from home goods and I did

it myself. That's because of you. Yep. So you really do every day you do like a day in life of like here's all this stuff that a lot of home decor, a lot of fashion. Because I'm nosy. I want to know. Like that's why I always think like people always say they're like, oh, I don't know.

I don't want to. They pretend like they don't want to know. I'm like, we want to know. Like, we are all nosy. Yes. So if I know I would want to know how you got that art, I'm going to show you how I got it. Yeah. Because I'd be sitting at home being like, how did you do that?

Did you see that meme? It was like, I'm not gullible enough to be learned into a cult, but I am nosy enough. No, that's me. That's literally me. That's how you're in the cold. Just because you're no. Like, you know what's the call, but you're like, I still got to find out. No, I just watched that twin flames.

Okay. I watched it. No, I didn't. And I feel like I want to. see it. No, and I'm like, do I join the Facebook group? And then I'm like, no, because that's a downward spiral. Then you're in the cult. I know, because I would be like, I can sort of see why some of this makes sense. I was like, do I join just to be nosy? And then I'm like, no, I'm going to fully be initiated. Like, I can't. That one, okay, listen, if you're in that cult, that's your fault. Okay.

Some of them I understand, like, nexium, I like understand some cults like falling into them. This cult day one is like, you know that guy that DM'd you on Instagram, like a song? And you're like, this is a fucking creep. They're like, what you should do is move to Oklahoma. homa and live with that guy. Yeah, like the guy with no picture. And I mean, we've all had those. Okay. So, so, God bless Marley. Give us a little background. Obviously, you used to be a publicist and that's your background and you moved here to test it out and then stayed like us. So just give us like a brief pitch. Okay. My elevator pitch is that I always joke I was like a publicist like out of the womb, but I didn't know it. Like I talked my way into college. I, I, like, pitched myself into

every job I've ever had. Like, it's just how I have gotten through life. I was pitching myself. to get into college before I knew that, like, what pitching was. So I talked to my mind to college, had, like, five million internships. Like, I was that girl. I had, like, eight internships before I graduated college. Got a job as a publicist, like, the day after graduation, started living and working in New York City. While I was working in PR, I worked in PR for five years, two and a half of those

years, I did my, like, at the time, blog and, like, Instagram at the same time. So I wasn't one of those people, like, a lot of the influencers I met in New York, just like their parents kind of funded their influencer life. And they just lived in the city and like war Chanel. And I'm like, how are you guys doing this? I was working for two and a half years while doing it on the side. Like I fully needed two salaries. You make nothing in PR.

And then I think when I reached like a certain number of followers, I just was like, fuck it. I'm quitting my job. I was like, this is the only time. I don't want to look back in 20 years and be like, I should have took that leap of faith. So I'm like, I'm just going to do it. My parents were so scared.

but I like did it against their advisement. Like I just quit my job. I've always listened to my gut. And when I quit and I was just doing Instagram full time, I was like, I need something else to do because like I don't own Instagram. Like Instagram could go away tomorrow and like what assets do I own. So I started my podcast called the publicity podcast at the time. Had it for like two years on my own, just exclusively talking about pop culture and like having

on reality stars. And then in COVID, I was so bored with. celebrities because I'm like people are dying. It wasn't fulfilling me. I was single as hell. I talked to my first psychic. So all of a sudden I'm like spiritual. I'm like going on like my hot girl walks. I was like a different person at that point in time. You know, we were all going on four hour walks in COVID because that's all we could do. That was my personality. Yeah, I was journaling. I was like reading this book called Calling in the One to like call in my soulmate. Like I was like a different girl. So I was like I need to talk about this shit on my podcast. Also I put on weight like just all the shit was

happening. And I was like, there's no podcast that I find, like, on the big networks that I could relate to at this current state in my time. There probably were, but, like, that's just how I felt. So I pitched my podcast to Dave Portnoy, and then I wound up getting the job. I switched the name to T with publicity. And then that podcast, I still obviously have such a big, like, pop culture love and I talk about it throughout. But that's when I really revamped the podcast to talk more about life and body image and mental health. and all of that, left there after a year and a half. Barstall for anybody who doesn't know.

Oh, true. Got fired, I should say. No, no, no. I'm just like people probably know Dave Porto, but anyway. So you were on Barstall. Yeah, got fired. Oh, God. On a whim, which was good.

And then I took the podcast out on my own, and I've just been doing it ever since. And then this year I launched my tea business. So that's like the long story short. But it's been like eight years in this industry, so it's crazy. You made me not so hard talking about you negotiated away into college. You remember you share Horowitz.

It's being like, grades are just jumping off. I'm going to start negotiations. No, this is how I also got jobs. You know how everyone's like, you need to know someone to get a job? No, I would go straight to the CEO. Like, I would pitch them on LinkedIn. I'd pitch Dave. Like, I don't believe in, that's a whole other, like, conversation.

But I don't believe in, like, just applying on LinkedIn and, like, being one of a million. No, my dad always told me. My dad said, pick the jobs. You want to go apply for them. You have to ask. I was in Atlanta. I was like, I think I should be on TV. And I just, like, talk to this producer.

I was like, can I do a segment on CBS Better mornings, did not know how to dress, had my old face, the whole thing. And they were like, I pitched an idea and they were like, sure. And I was like, don't ask. Oh, I'm just going to be on TV now. Yeah. Okay. Don't ask, don't receive. I asked and I pitched it well. And they were like, that sounds pretty dope. I mean, I didn't make any money, but like, it started the whole trajectory of like TV radio in Atlanta, but still, like, I've always done that. Like, I just go straight to the person in charge. And I'm like, hey, who's in charge here? And so same as us, just a few months earlier, you were like, I'm going to try out L.A.

Yeah. And stayed. And where are you now? Okay. This is weird because I don't know if you guys feel like this, but so many people ask me, when I meet new people, they're like, what brought you here? And I'm like, Rayna and Ashley? No, but I'm literally like, nothing.

It wasn't work. We could work from anywhere. So for us, it's not that. It was kind of like, I don't know. But what brought me here was like I needed to switch up my energy. Yeah. Nothing was changing in New York. Like, I was just stagnant.

Like, I was completely stagnant. I was, like, unhappy with, like, my body image. I wasn't dating. My career, like, after I got laid off, like, I was trying to recreate it on my own. And I was doing a fine job. But I just didn't feel, like, invigorated by anything. I think after COVID, the city felt really different to me. A lot of my friends had, like, moved out and gotten married or people were just picking up and moving left and right.

Like, who's in Miami? Who's here? Who's there? And I think I was just like, I need to change or nothing will. My two options were, which is like so different, I was like either I'm going to move to Hoboken because my sister's there. My parents live in New Jersey. And I was like, at least I could be near my nephew.

I could have more space. I can get a car. I really like had this weird thing in my head where I wanted a car. I was like, or I can move to L.A., but like that seems so far fetch. So I'll just do a trial and see if I like it. Yeah. And then two weeks in, I'm like, I'm staying. It's been exactly one year.

Right? Yeah. November. I just, I mean, Ashley and I promote this all the time. Like, if you're not happy, pivot. And it sounds like you've done this your whole life. It sounds like you've just been like,

I don't like this anymore. I'm going to do the next thing. I'm going to follow my heart. And like, it will be good because I'm excited and I'm invigorated. I'm really not scared of change. But that makes me nervous sometimes because I'm like, what's going to happen when I have like kids and a husband? Like, nah, I'm over this.

I mean, I don't know. I feel like maybe you're like us where, no, you're not scared of change, but you're not this crazy fly by this of your pants all the time. It seems like you also appreciate having roots, having stability, too. You know, like, it's calculated change to me. You're not like a wild, you know. It's more just like I'd like to switch things up if I feel like something's not working.

I'll sit in it for a while. I'll be there. And then all of a sudden you wake up when saying you're like, I got to do something. Like, yeah. I think that's why I redecorate my apartment every, like I'm already getting the itch to move. And I just lived here. I'm like, I could redecorate a new place. Like, it's so bad.

It's exciting. It's not bad, though. I like what you said. We're like, you've a really solid family life when you're, your parents. They're really wonderful. We're going to talk about your boyfriend. And we've like watched the whole trajectory of this. Like you have roots. You have stability.

And within those roots and stability, you pivot around a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like you moved to a different city every year. No. And this is my first time really ever picking up and moving away from my family. Yes. And I think that's really interesting because it was really something I had to grapple with

in my head. And I really respect my friend that said this to me after I moved. But I really resonate. She was like, I'm so thankful you chose L.A. because I got really worried that if you went to Hoboken, your whole life would become your nephew and like just babysitting him, staying in with him because I see how much you love him. And I'm really happy you made the choice for yourself. Yeah, I love that. And I felt that way. Like I had to really come to terms with like, I love my nephew

more than anything. Same. And if I could see him every single day, I would. But I'm like, but that's living his life. Yeah. I need to live like my life for me. And I'm sure you guys had to come to terms with that too, moving. Yeah. I mean, I moved to New York from Atlanta so And I was so close to my family, it was so easy to, like, get in the car. And then my nephew was born. And I was like, how could I leave this? I mean, not as close as you physically, but just like, I think you and I both really made it work. Like, I feel like we're always with our nephews.

Always. It's just like, are these people bi-coastal? We have a standing FaceTime date every single day. Yeah. It's really sweet. Yeah, 3 p.m. So we want to talk to you about your relationship. Yeah.

And about meeting him, we just, we think the world of him. We love him. He makes me laugh so hard. I want to give him like a, I want to give him a name. I call him. She had an Ernie. Ernie. Except last night I hard launched his name on my Instagram.

I couldn't believe it. I was like, oh my God. Can you tell we had the conversation at the beach? I was like, I think I'm going to start saying your name. I was like, let me think about it. And then like a day later he's like, you could do it. But he's not on social, right? Yeah.

Which is a dream. Well, this is the reason why we decided it's fine. You can't find him. You can't fucking find him. He's like, not on LinkedIn. What a dream. Nothing. What a dream.

So I was like, what's the point? Why am I keeping your name secret? because it's kind of awkward because I'm going to family gatherings and my cousins. Like, how's Ernie? Which I came up with. I couldn't think of a nickname for him. And I was like, he's like literally the most earnest person I've ever met. So I was like, I'm going to call him Ernie.

Also, I told him that he laughed for 45 minutes. Like, he thought it was the funniest thing. And then I was like, he's not on social media. Like, he's not anywhere. Like, when I went on our first date, I tried to find him. I couldn't even find him like an old Facebook, nothing. So I was like, you know what? Why am I protecting his name?

Like, no one can find him. Right. I laughed so hard of him around him. like, would be weird to call him giggles. Giggles. Giggles. He is so funny. I giggle what I'm around him.

He's like our favorite boyfriend we've met. Yeah, he's really, so immediately. He doesn't need to grow on you. He's funny immediately. He's obsessed with you guys. He talks about you like all the time. So the night we met him.

We're going to talk about like your trajectory in the DTR and meeting your parents and all that stuff. But like the nightway met him. He came to the devilworth brawado with us. The outdoor movie. And it's funny because we had an extra ticket. And he was wearing my like Guido sweatshirt. because that's all I had to give him.

But it started as a joke that he was going to go. And then I was like, wait, but could he pick us up? Yeah, he like drove. To the other side of town to pick us up. Yeah. And then drove and came with us and dropped us off after. And you know what I knew I loved Sean is when we were driving down Santa Monica Boulevard and I told him I had phone sex with somebody with a weird voice.

And he started mocking the voice and like impersonating the voice. And I was like, I just met this person five minutes ago. And he said like a graphic word too. He said like pussy or something. I was like, I didn't even know you had this in you. Yeah, you're welcome. And he was just like, yeah, there were some things awesome that. When people surprise me, like, that's my favorite thing.

He surprises me all the time because I was kind of like debriefing him a little before you met you guys. I'm like, they're really like sex positive. Like, because I pictured him to be this like quiet in his shell type of guy. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, oh, those are my favorite kind of people. Like, he loves no filtered people. So he's like all about it.

But I'm like, I didn't know this about him because he just seemed so earnest. Like, yes. So the theme of this relationship that we want to unpack is that, like, you just, I think there's, like, conventional relationship advice of, like, you should do this thing. And, like, you introduced him to a bunch of your friends really early on. He made parents before you had the DTR. Like, I want to talk about all that. Because I think it's really special. Also on convention. Also that. But I want to talk about this concept from the beginning of, like, basically, you kind of just had an experience that jumped started, like, your confidence in a way to, like, get on Hinge and, like, meet him. Okay. I've been on Hinge for, like, 10 years. Like, it's. spend a fucking decade on hands. What was the last like really serious relationship you'd been in? A decade ago. Like really like serious. Like I was like had a long term boyfriend for multiple years. And then everything else in between was like months long things, unrecainted love. Like those things that just like torture your soul or like you like them. But then they don't like you back at the right time.

And like just so many things. And then I would say really during COVID, I was so actually no, I was in a during COVID. I was in like an international. relationship with a narcissist. Weren't we all? Like it was just one of those times. We're like, because like you could only face time at that time. What's up? Yeah.

So, you know, I've had things, but I really was like, I'm not even kidding. When I quit my job in 2018 until 20, 23, I went through the most biggest rollercoaster of emotions, like working for myself, putting on weight, having a lot of sickness, like having like these hormone imbalances, working up, Like I just had all these crazy things that I like really was just in therapy for years just like discovering myself. Not that I anything was like so, so wrong, but I would say I just like redefined myself. So yeah, I'd been single for a long time and then I went to a visa. Okay. So you go there and what happens? Okay. So I took a Euro trip this summer and like I've always

been a manifester. Like I manifest everything. But I'm realizing now how the things I say really have come to life because I kept saying when I was on this trip granted I know people don't like cheat on their bachelorette parties but I kept saying this is my bachelorette party like this is my going away party

and I don't know why I was saying that like I just had this weird feeling that I was like this is my last hurrah oh my god isn't that so weird that gives me chills yeah I kept saying it I was like this is like this is my last single girl's trip I'm ever going to take like this

that's what you did before you met Sparkleyes, you did a last for all. Haslachian Renaissance. Yes. I'm horny. I'm off bird control. I'm gonna fuck the whole world. And then you know, I'm telling you, do we need a host a Bachelorette party for Rana?

Yes. Going away for Rite. Yes. He would be a huge slut. No, I wasn't that big of a slut, Sparkleyes. I know you're listening. That's kind of what happened where I was like, I just had this weird thing. And I'm not saying he's like my forever, but maybe that really was like my last single

trip like that. I hope like, I don't know, unless I'm, like 60 and like Ramona singer out here but I just I'd like to publicly say oh yeah not her but you know what I mean like you know those people that are living their best life in their late 60s whatever yeah Madonna and I was like 80 but I feel like I just like kind of put into the universe that like I was going to date and okay I also went into this trip which I think this is really big for switching up your energy I went into this trip being like I'm not going to care what I look like I'm not going to care how my clothes fit I'm going to feel like the hottest piece of ass like

I just was like, I'm going to be confident. Like, I'm not going to let these things that have held me back in New York or in L.A. or when you're like at a bar, but you're in your head and you're like, you just don't feel confident. I was like, I'm just going to go into this and like live my life. And I think it's an energy exchange. Like, truly. And my therapist always used to say, like, it's not about what you look like or how

you feel. It's about like the energy that you're putting out there. And I think I truly just went into that trip. Like, I'm not just saying this. like people were, like men were coming out of the woodwork. Like Italian men, everyone was international. Like no one was American. People were just, I would be holding like one guy's hands and another guy would come and

like pull me off his arm. And I was like, what am I doing? Like, and I look the same as I've always looked and I'm, but I'm, but I'm, I'm, I'm radiating differently. And so I think I went into that trip just being like, I'm not going to care about all of these things that like hold me back in the States. I think another thing that it gave my single friend advice is,

I knew I wasn't going to find my husband there. So I went into the trip being like, I'm putting down all of the walls about the kind of person I want to date. I don't care if you have a head tattoo. I don't care. A bunch of kids. You have seven kids. Just hypothetically.

Hypothetically speaking. I was like, you know. I was like, I don't really care if you can't travel to the U.S. Because you have a criminal past. You're like, I'm not going to marry you. I can do whatever. So, and I said this to my friends, now my advice that I would give to people that are stuck, stop, like, going out and dating with a checklist.

Because I actually think, like, I met this, like, guy that was not so crazy. And, like, he was so not who I'd ever go for, but he weirdly gave me so much confidence. Ashley was living for this, by the way. We were in a group chat about this. Ashley, every day. Do you see what Alyssa is? I know, and I was like, Ashley, I'm in Italy. I'm trying to be in Italy this week and just like, I was in Poolia.

He's trying to like do this like food and shit. Ashley's like, no, you need to get involved right now. I was obsessed with it. He was an escapee that Alyssa's sleeping away. No, didn't sleep with him. She didn't sleep with them. Well, he said it's, you know, so. I was like, I can't be another one of those women.

This guy was like obsessed with you. He was like, love bombing the shit out of you. Oh, love bombing. I also knew it, but I loved it because, again, I'm never going to see you again. You know it's not real. But it feels good. He's like, I'm marrying you. I'm getting your.

name tattooed on my ass. Like, I'm obsessed with you. And I was like, okay. And so then basically what, you fired up hinge. So I fired up hinge because I was taking fire photos on the trip. And I was like, I have this energy and another tip. I think the energy that I was feeling came through in my photos. Totally.

So when I changed all my photos on hinge, my success rate was so much better because I think I was just exuding happiness. No, you really do. You can tell. You can tell. People like, you've never looked happier. I'm like, you're right. Well, okay, this is also something And I'm not gonna say like

One is better than the other But I'm very in my masculine energy a lot Like when I go to events in L.A. or New York I'm in a suit. I'm like very like Yes, I look feminine but I'm very boss lady Like all my hinge pictures were me Stuffy, lips pursed, not smile

Like very because those are just the professional pictures I had Or like that's how I like to dress Like I am very like masculine, assertive like I'm a Capricorn, so I'm very work-driven. Also, do you think you like that version of yourself very much? Really proud of that version of yourself. I'm very proud of that version, but I don't think for a while I was tapped into my feminine at all. I think another thing that tapped me into my feminine was the fairy books.

The reason why I thought the most profound thing was about to come out of her mouth. I was like ready for it. I was like, what is she about to drop? She's about to drop the hottest take. God damn it. People really want. want to know about a court of thorns and roses. The reason why I'm into the fairy books is Alyssa.

Guys, they changed. No, so I think this is what happened. I was so into Rissand, whatever it's the same is. I call him Ries. Yeah, Ries Risen. Well, I listened to the audio book at a point so I could get the pronunciation and they think it's like Rizan.

Okay, so let me ask you something. I just want to back out because you mentioned a couple times that like you had a lot of hormone changes and that you gained weight. So like, do you feel like that affected the way that you dated? And you were like, the version of myself that I like is this like boss bitch. I run my own company. I have my own pockets.

That's the version I'm going to lead with because like maybe you don't feel so good about myself sexually. Oh, 100%. But also literally just last week got diagnosed with PCOS. And like I have all these like imbalances. It all makes sense why it all happened. Yeah. But I didn't know a lot of this. And yeah, I was like, what are these changes?

Like what are these feelings? It made me like shell up. I was always the most confident person and it made me like such a shell of myself. And then I think it was also just moving was the first step to just being like starting over. I think taking the trip and just being here and like kind of being outside more and in sun more. And like I just was like changing up my energy. Like this was like years in the making of me working on myself. Yeah.

And like hard. Like working on myself. And I also got rid of my therapist. And I feel like the real work started when I got rid of her. Because like I almost felt like it was a crutch. Like I was with her for two years at that point. and I felt like I would go to these sessions and be like, I have to talk about my body image today.

I have to talk about being single today. When I got rid of her, I finally was able to just live and implement everything. I almost felt like it was like anchoring me to that stuff still. We talk about this all the time, also with couples that are in couples there before years. And it's like, what if you just tried to do this without the third person in the relationship? Yeah, so I felt like it was like anchoring me to those things.

So I got rid of her. I just started living my life. It's really interesting. It is. We really believe in therapy. And people have a lot of trauma to work through. But at some point, it's nice to check in with yourself and say, like, every week I'm making this checklist of stuff that's bad

that I have to talk about my body image every week or I'm relation to my mother. And I don't want to do that. I don't feel like opening this up today. I'm feeling good. Yes, it's like I felt like I was beating a dead horse. I'm like, I've heard all of this. And like now I need to implement it into my life. So that was also part of the Abiza trip.

I was like, I'm going to implement this all. I'm ready to live my life now. And I made like a choice in my. head to be like, I'm not letting any of this shackle me anymore. So I went on the trip. I lived my best life. I fired up my dating profiles while I was still in Europe with these new pictures of me with good energy. And I was getting like tons of new matches coming in. And this is after me like talking to someone that told me like how to trick the hinge algorithm, how to do this, how to do that. Guys, there's no way to like trick finding someone. You literally just have to like, leave your house,

leave your house, have good energy, be ready and welcome to it, because so many guys would message me and I wouldn't answer. Yeah, like we talked about this recently with Raina, like getting on it. It's like, it shouldn't feel like a chore. No. Then you're putting bad energy out there. Like, you have to be in the right headspace. Like, I don't care.

It comes through a phone screen. Like the photos, the messages, all the things, like translate. 100%. And I say to Sean now, he's like, why do you think this worked? And I'm like, I think because I give him more credit than that. but I'm like, I think because I answered you. Like, I actually tried. Totally.

When I, like, go on there, I have, like, dozens of messages from guys. I never responded. Yes. You got to go in with, like, just a lighter energy about it. Like, we reciprocated energy. Totally. Like, he kept trying and I kept trying. Like, I think we wanted the same thing at the same time.

And we didn't know if we were going to, like, hit it off. But I think it literally worked because, like, he made a plan. And I, instead of canceling the date, like, I would normally do, I showed up. Yeah. And, like, just made the choice. I made the choice. I've been thinking about this a lot. Like, things that happen in your life that may seem kind of wild or insignificant.

And then they really do, like you say open the portal, but like they really do shift your outlook. Like I've like a couple pop culture references that I think are interesting. Like I've been watching The Golden Bachelor. And these women that leave the show say he made me feel so seen. You get to a certain age. I feel like really emotional. And you feel invisible. Yes.

And this person makes me realize that like I can find somebody and I'm not invisible and I still so much life left to live. And then, Farina's going to hate this, but I also think of like, about naked attraction. No, it's about Travis Kelsey. My other personality. Actually, I'm back on Travis and Taylor. Naked attraction, like, these people are like, I feel so much more confident in my body after like getting judged naked, which is like interesting. If you watch a show, you understand this sentiment.

But like, these things you wouldn't guess. And they somehow like make you feel a certain type of way and like send you on a new trajectory. It's literally switching up your energy. Yeah. My recommendation now to people, like I have a friend who's single and, like, struggling to meet people. And I'm like, go on a trip. I know that doesn't solve everything. But I said to her, I'm like, stop going out dating guys with the checklist.

Because, like, yes, that's who you maybe ultimately want to end up with. But what you need is like a fun little fling to, like, get your energy back and like make you feel reinvigorated. Like, I think that's what did it for me was like not taking it so seriously and not going in with like, I need this, this, this and this. and now the person I met has everything on my list and more. But, like, I didn't... Do you know what I'm saying? No, I love it. I totally agree.

That, like, when you allowed yourself to let go of therapy, let go of all this stuff, you tell yourself this narrative about your body and your hormones and how you look at yourself sexually, like you let yourself let all that go and that actually let somebody in who really cares about you. You want to hear the craziest thing. We were playing SFKs like car game the other day.

And one of the questions was, like, what was the first thing that attracted you to me? And since we met on a dating app, I was like, it has to be superficial probably, like, through my pictures. And he was like, your body. Those big boobs. But my point is, yeah, these big old titties. But my point is.

No, someone called them cannons the other day. I was like, oh, my point is the one thing that was holding me back was the one thing that he noticed. Isn't that crazy? You want to find somebody that doesn't love you in despite of something. You know what I mean? Like, whether it's your podcast. or your body or whatever, like, finding something that's like, no, no, that's the thing I love.

That's not the thing I'm putting up with. And I don't just mean this in terms of looks. But, you know, like, somebody that doesn't like what we do. It's like, yeah, she fucking talks about sucking dick all the day and I hate it. But, like, that's her. You know, it's like, you want someone's like, I love this about you. Right. This thing that you might have thought other people might not have.

Well, you know, the Taylor says tolerate it. That's the song. I was dating this guy that summer that summer that, which album is it, what's it called? Oh, Evermore? Evermore. Oh, that summer. Yeah. This guy said to me that summer, he was like,

like, I'm learning to tolerate you. And I was like, I don't, he didn't mean it in like a mean way, but like, I knew he kind of meant it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't like that. Like, you're this whirling dervish of a person. You're a little bit nuts compared to me and I'm learning how to deal with it. No.

No. I don't want you to learn how to tolerate me. It's to be the exact opposite. The coolest thing you've ever seen because, like, I am. And if you don't think that everything about me is the coolest, I am not for you. Yes. Yes. 100%.

Wait, I have a question for you, Ashley, because I went on this, like, tantet on TikTok. and it like really picked up a lot of steam. And I'm curious if you guys feel this way, especially because you're in a new relationship. I like kind of feel sad for my single self because of the way people are treating me now that I'm in a relationship. Like I kind of like feel for her because everyone's like, you're glowing.

You're so happy. And I'm like justice for single Alyssa. Like she was happy too just in a different way. And like it just has made me realize how much like the world's values women. in a relationship. We talk about all the time. Yeah, because I just launched a tea business and, like, people are really happy for me, but people are way fucking happier that I'm in a relationship.

Oh, that's that. When I hard launched Kane on my Instagram a few summers ago, I got like 100,000 likes. Yeah. People lost their fucking mind. Like, finding one person in the world to care about me was the biggest accomplishment in the world. And it is because love is rare. But when we launched Fives Only, which we worked on for so long, maybe like not even a quarter

of that type of vibe. No. No, it is a thing. I think people really went crazy for vibes only. I know you're seven. I still want to, like, justice for that. It's the type of messages. It's like people are like, oh, yeah, I love your brands. And then people will write me and be like,

I'm so happy for you. No one deserves this more than you. Which is, let me just clarify. That's so nice. Like, thank you. Like, genuinely. That's so nice that people feel that way. Sure.

It's more, I'm just like, it puts an emphasis on like how much people respect women that are like coupled up. more than single women. I think about this all the time, but I have also told myself that I think people are like, she really manifested this

and told us at the beginning of the year she was going to find somebody. She really did thrive as a single woman. She turned 40 and found this great love. I try to tell myself that it's not just like, oh my God, she finally has a boyfriend, thank God. I try to myself that they're like, that shit really works.

She really did it. She put in the work and she got the thing. And so I think, I think that's one of the things that people love about this relationship so much. But yes, to your point, we talk about this all the time. Like, Raina's like, I get more likes on this boyfriend than us selling out the Chicago Theater. You know what I mean?

But I feel like, okay, here maybe I can sort of offer some insight. I think everybody's dream is to fall in love. That is 100% of people's dreams. Everybody can relate to that. Not everybody can relate to wanting to sell the Chicago Theater. Yeah. Sexually. Okay.

I think that everybody's like, that's the thing that everyone wants and she accomplished it. And I admire this relationship. I want this in my life. It's a beautiful thing. There's nothing negative about it. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking that too.

Like, it is like everybody can have them. But it just makes me sad for Alyssa a few months ago. I know you. Because I'm like, where is this love? Like I actually feel like I needed that energy more when I was single than I do now. Yeah.

That's what's sad. Yeah. Because I'm like, she needed to be picked up. You know? If you guys would all email me and tell me how great I am, that would be really literally. But then also,

to your point, like people are feeling the energy and the happiness too. Yeah. You know, like they're picking up on that too. But don't you think we met, people because we were happy. Yes. No, I don't think I can attribute all of my happiness to him. No, like, I talk about this where I'm like, he knows this. So, like, where I'm like,

I don't even know if we'd be together if I didn't get off birth control. Like, I don't even know. Like, what we did in May, I look back on like this month is like, I can't believe what we did. Rational party, yeah. I can't. But like, the shows and the like partying and then we's family and friends. We were like on this high that I couldn't even believe we had the adrenaline that we did. It was like our biggest accomplishments all jammed into one month on top of like all these things. And then I just met him at the end of it like the grand finale, you know, like it was just, I knew him before. But yeah, yeah, yeah. It just was this thing.

Like I decided to DM him after him kind of messaging me for years. Like it just I always think like what if I didn't. Like what if I wouldn't have been in the right space. Yeah. You were happy. You were in a good place. And like that's I think what bothers me. I'm like I don't want people to like attribute my happiness to someone else when I just explain to you guys how much work I've put.

into making myself happy. I don't think that you make it sound like that at all. I don't think Ash has ever made it sound like that. No, I think that bothers me. I'm glad that you said it because I like that we try to preach a lot that like the best type of partner that you can find is somebody who really likes themselves already. You know?

And like I don't really want somebody to expect me to be their whole social calendar to be the only thing giving them value in life. I want somebody to bring something to the table also. Yeah, you want to lift each other. I'm not going to build the table. I like your point though. I do want to reiterate what you just say. said is like this happiness was here before this person came along. That's how I got him. It's not because of him. Like that's really important to know. And they of course enhance it.

Yes. 100%. Right. I did all this work. And then they are just the cherry on top. Yeah. And like of course they make you happier. Yeah. Like I'm not discrediting that. Totally. But it's just something I've noticed because I think I was single for such a long time that like I almost feel like it's like when people lose a lot of weight and then they're like protective over their like old self. Or like I think I'm protective over my single self. I'm like, I feel for her. Like, where was this?

Yeah. Well, you were saying like, I think I'll be fine with or without this person because I've figured out that I like love myself with or without this person basically. Yeah. And we were talking about feeling like in your early relationships if they end. Like I used to feel like if my ex ever left me like I'd be in a mental institution until the end of time. Nothing would ever pull me out of it.

Now I know that like I could find this person that I love really a lot. and it's really special. There are another limb on my body, but I'll live without the limb. Yep. You know? Like, I think he really love Sparkalize. I think he's so important, obviously.

But, like, if he went away tomorrow, if he ceased to exist, I know that your life would go on. Exactly. Not if he died. Who would you rather die, me or him? But do you ever think, like,

sick? That's the question. So I just like, I asked my sister to this about me or her husband. You know what you like, love somebody so much. You don't want the answer. Like, I see him from like my,

like, trust me. You don't want that answer. I'll die. I'd rather die. I'd rather die. I was like, I was like, I shouldn't have it. Me and Sparkolize you the podcast together. No, people would probably not mind it.

I had a friend being like one-time as well-dict. That's what I actually want post-mortem. It's just you two to grieve me on the podcast forever. Yeah. You don't get so much ad dollars. Like gravestones.com would like sponsor the whole podcast. I had a friend asked me like me or Ashley wants and I was like, Ashley, 100%. I don't even know.

Do I need explain this to you? Oh, yeah. You ever were any friend. and most of my family. Yeah. It just is what it is. We're each other's revenue. But it's like you remember the first time you're in love and you're like, I'll die without them.

I was like, I remember like having these psychothought, you know, like intrusive psycho thoughts. I'd be like if there was like an apocalypse tomorrow, like I'd go down with him. Like I'd spend my last breath with him. Like I was sick. Like instead of families, like I was just so like I will take a bullet for this man. Whereas I think it just comes with growing up where you're like you could really be so happy with someone. but still be like, I will be fine if this goes away because we have financial freedom. I just think it's dating later.

I'll be fine because I am fine. Because I'm fine on my own. And I've also been on my own for so long that it's almost kind of weird for me to be with someone. Yes, that too. Like I was fine before. I would be fine again. Yeah. So we were talking about you get in your head of like, does this mean I love this person

or I want to be with this person? Because I don't feel as crazy as I did in my 20s or in my, you know, for me like at 30. So it's like, not like throwing myself in front of a car for this person. It just feels different. It feels like more stable. I think we're just adults. Yeah.

But it is weird because I think another thing with Sean is that like he has like the most secure attachment style. And like I'm not used to that. So I think I'm like, where's the chaos? But like I love it. Like I wouldn't want to change that. But like I've never from the day I met him worried like, am I going to hear from him? No. Is he going to make good on a promise that he made?

Is he going to show up? Like if he says he's going to do something, he does it. So I feel like I'm used to being let down kind of. So I think I'm used to the chaos, which kind of fuels you to have that obsession with someone where you're like going nuts about them because you're just like so unhinged because you don't know, you're always on your toes. But when you're finally like on level ground and you don't have that, you're like, wait, where's the chaos?

Like it's kind of weird. Do you miss it? Do you miss the chaos? I don't miss it, but I think I'm used to the feelings of being more like upset. but in an unhealthy way. Is there a part of you that's like waiting for that a shoe to drop? Like does that voice go away ever? I don't think anymore because like I said, he's so stable.

I think in the very beginning I would have that creep in more. But then I just had to remind myself like, wait, I think he just kept leading through example. Like if he said, I'm going to talk to you tomorrow, I would hear from him. So let's say it wasn't even until like 4 p.m. the next day, then I'd hear for him. And I just had to train myself to be like, he means what he says. Like stop being a psycho. I mean, nothing, to me, feels better than this security. Really feeling like you always know you're going to hear from somebody.

You can rely on them 100%. Yeah. They love you as much as you love them. I mean, like, I don't think there's a better feeling in the world. It's true, but I think dating in New York, like, I wasn't used to that. I was used to, like, fuck boys. No, we were, like, traumatized. Like, I think really, like, that's a heavy word.

Yeah. But, like, I really do feel like six years of that for me, like, did make its mark of dating in New York. Oh my God, 100%. I think that's just like what dating's like out there. Anywhere. It's really hard. I was saying to my mom actually today on the phone,

I was like it's really nice to feel like I'm with someone that I don't have to question there. Like, what's he doing? Is he doing something weird on his phone? Is he going to cheat? And I was like, I always wished for that because like my dad's that way and my sister's husband's that way. But you date all these assholes and you're like, I'm never going to find that.

Right. Is this just what's out there now? Yeah. I was like, this is it. Like, people are sketchy. They're going to have only fans and they're going to cheat. And in the digital world, there's all this weird shit. Like, I'm like, who knows?

And now with him, like, I never have to question his intentions. So it's like, it is out there. It's out there. I know, but you feel kind of cynical for a while. 100%. Okay, so we wanted to talk about this kind of big DTR discussion. Because you kind of asked our opinion. Yes, yes.

I was spiraling that day. You had, like, your whole relationship's a little unconventional. I think you introduced him to your friends really early. to your parents before the DTR. You were getting a lot of advice from different people about what to do and how to do it. Friends, I feel like in the beginning of relationship give you so much advice.

It's all really well-intentioned, but it's all from like their own personal triggers and their own relationships. And, you know, I think you did a really good job of like drowning out the noise and figuring out when to do this yourself. I will always listen to my gut. And like it was actually nice

when I asked you guys for advice because the advice you gave me was exactly what I was feeling in my gut, which was why I think I asked you guys because I knew I'd probably agree with your opinion. But I think what happened was, our first date ended up being like three days because it was like that hurricane in L.A. and you couldn't drive on the roads.

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's like, what's the secret to your success? Sean's like, get a hurricane weather. Right. Like it's like a blizzard.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not getting stuck together. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, just, you know, worldwide pandemic. Like, I don't know. So I felt like, you know,

when I watched Love Island, they're like, three days, in here feels like three weeks on the outside. That's how I felt our relationship was. Like it was a bubble. We were in Bachelor of Paradise. Yeah. Like how they say, oh, I fell in love so quick. Or like, I got to know this man three days, what would probably be like seven dates. Yes. For someone. Weeks. Weeks. Yeah. Like way more than you would like just sitting across the table with someone for a few dates. So I felt like I really got to know him quickly, which is why I think like him meeting my friends kind of moved quickly. I think we kind of like ultimately knew right away like

we're going to date. So when it came time to like define the relationship, I knew. I'm like, this is my boyfriend, but we haven't said it yet. And I was hosting this big launch event for my tea business. And I was like, it's so awkward because this is the first time he's going to be in a setting where he's meeting so many people. And he had met my parents that weekend. And it went great, but we still weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. So like that's another thing. But it all kind of worked out because both of our parents don't live in California. So for him to meet my parents, I was like, they're going to be here.

And this is maybe the only time, like you're going to have a chance to meet them. So I'm just going to swing the idea by him and see if he's down. And he was down. We hung out with them all weekend. He wound up coming to my launch event. And like that day, my anxiety was so high because of the launch

that I think that's why I couldn't see clearly about where my gut landed on having the discussion with him. So I was freaking out. I was texting some friends being like, do I just have this conversation ahead of tonight's launch to be like, Sean, like, I didn't want to have to bring it up this way, but like, where do we stand? Because people are going to be asking us tonight, like, who you are, who I am. My gut told me I did not want to be the one to bring up that conversation. That's not the right energy to put out in the world. Like, the way this relationship is going is not what are we on the day of my business lunch.

You know, when you're anxious, like, you don't have a rational brain. Totally. 100%. I was spire. I almost like needed to attach my anxiety to. something. You're also like such a publicist. You're like, I need every single thing.

Yeah. It's plays. I have this launch event. I need to know if you're my boyfriend. So when I talked to me with this launch event, I know. And we were like, that's his problem. Right. Yeah.

And also like, you have this like big launch event. Focus on that. I know. My boyfriend is not the energy to that. And then I was like, first of all, I knew he felt that way about me. But I was like, I don't feel like it's my responsibility to bring that up. Because like, he'll bring it up. Like, it'll happen naturally.

So ultimately I decided not to. Also, your advice, like, you guys were like, stop. It's not a big deal. Who cares? People are just going to assume. Well, we were also like, A, you're together. Everybody knows it. Both of you know it.

He's been with the parents all weekend. Yeah. But I also said, like, if there was any question, this is a great opportunity for him to have to deal with that. If he's getting asked, what are you guys? Then get his wheels turning and he can bring this conversation up. Like, not that you even needed that because you were already like, it was obvious and you were really secure.

But I'm kind of like, he can deal with this. This is not what you need to be dealing with. Oh, well, he dealt with it. Yeah. See, also, I feel like we have these. these narratives we tell ourselves about like, every person here is, that your boyfriend wants to deal? And it's like, I don't know, everybody on earth has been in the beginning of a relationship phase and you're like, that's my guy that I'm dating, you know?

And a lot of people ask you like, who is he? No, because everyone knew who he was, though. Everyone's like, well, this is Ernie? Like, all this. Like, everyone just figured, and the people that didn't just came up to me and whispered like, is this the guy you're seeing? Totally. Like, yeah, we're adults. But then the next weekend, we're hanging out and like, we didn't have a chance to really have a one-on-one conversation the whole time my parents were there, whatever. You guys had to sleep over your apartment with your parents.

It was a lot. I love your parents so much. They love him. And so he, the next week I was over and we were talking about something and somehow it came up and he was like, we always kind of ask each other this thing. Like, what's on your mind? Like, give me a question. And we'll like pick each other's brains.

And he was like, what's on your mind? And I was like, I'm not going to say. Because again, I didn't want to bring it up. So eventually it came up somehow. He was like, what is it? And I said something like the G word, like girlfriend or something. and he was like, oh, he's like, yeah, no, I was just telling everyone at your event. I was your boyfriend.

I was like, what? I was like, this would have helped, you know, a week ago. He's so chill. He's like, I just figured to know. Yeah, I was like, oh, nice to know, thank you. Glad all these other people knew you're my boyfriend. That I had a boyfriend. I would like to know and I had a boyfriend.

My dad goes, oh, yeah, I heard him saying it. Fill me in. So, your dad tells you you're in a relationship. You're like, your dad's like, by the way, listen, you know you boyfriend because I knew. My dad was probably introducing him as that too. I'm like, everyone's just doing this without my knowledge. And I was like, oh, would have been nice to know. And he was like, oh, I kind of just figured. And I was like, no, same. But like, yeah, we should have the conversation. Sure. I don't want to just start introducing you rogue as my boyfriend. And then he was like,

well, do you want to be my girlfriend? I was like, yeah, like, I didn't need this whole grand gesture. I really just wanted to know we were on the same page. Yeah. Like, it's just semantics. It's like, yeah, we're together. Everybody knows it. You know what I mean? Well, he told me. Well, he told me after our first date he deleted Hinge. So, like, I was never really that worried. Like, I was like, we're dating, you know. I love that feeling of security in the beginning of a relationship. It takes me back to that quote.

If he likes you, you'll know. If he doesn't, you'll be confused. And that's so true. The last relationship I was in, that was my boyfriend. I didn't have to ask. We didn't have to have some, like, are we going to be boyfriend and girlfriend? I was like, this is who he's dating, me.

It's more just the introduction of it all. Yeah. I didn't even know for myself. It's more like, I don't want to be the first one out of the gate to be like, this is my boyfriend. I was like, you got to lead. 100%. Again, it's just sometimes it's like, it's a technicality.

When Sparkalize was in Cabo, he's there in Cabo for my birthday. Obviously, this is my boyfriend, but we had the conversation there. And the main conversation was like, just to make sure you don't want kids. Yeah, seriously. Before I commit to this. No, it's so true. But it was just like, actually, I don't hear you know that you have a girlfriend. Yeah.

No, he brought it up, but it was just like, are we doing this? Yeah. Yeah, because like he was in Cabo with you before you had that conversation. Yeah, he's clearly my boyfriend. Yeah, like, you just know at that point. But it's like, Are we going to stop beating around the bush? Yeah.

You're right. You do sometimes have to introduce somebody. Also, not to be weird, but I feel like just knowing I haven't been anxious since. I was anxious leading up to that point. Like, just like randomly during the week because I'm so used to getting ghosted, I would be like, oh, is he going to ghost me? Like, now I don't feel that way at all. It weirdly did give me like a sense of peace.

So you guys have kind of unconventional. Like, you really mostly only see each other on the weekends. Yeah. Because of like what his life looks like right now is a drug dealer. No, I'm just kidding. But, like, that's why he doesn't have social media. He's in prison. He gets out on the weekend.

That is actually a way better joke. And that is a thing. No, actually, you get a prison on the weekends. Oh, that's a thing. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're released during the week for work. Or sometimes you have to go back at night. It's a halfway house.

I didn't know. Oh, halfway house. Yeah, yeah. So, no, guys, he's not. He has a serious job. And he told me from the beginning, like, this is my life. Yeah. And I was like, all right, cool.

Like, I'm really busy too. Yeah. And I think I've been single for so long that I would be kind of overwhelmed if you wanted to see me all the time. I'm like really used to my alone time. Like it's even weird for me like on the weekends, like we'll spend like three days together. And I'm like, whoa, haven't been with someone this long. And so, you know, it's good for me to ease into as well. And we both said we met at the busiest times of our lives.

Like he's going through like really intense stuff. And I was going through launching my first business. We would switch having our stress days. Like some days he'd be like, I'm losing my mind. And then the next day I'd be like, I'm having a panic attack. Like we both were like, like, if we can make it work now, imagine when we could like travel and have fun. Because we didn't meet at a light time. We're not like drunk making out in bars.

We're like dealing with like life shit, like heavy stuff. And it works because again, even though he has like the world's busiest schedule, if he says he's coming over on Friday night, like he's coming over. And he'll like dedicate that time to me. And he has to like do a lot of stuff. studying and I'm like so respectful of it. Like he woke up at 5.45 a.m. so he can come to the beach on Saturday. An angel. I know because he's like, I don't want to miss it.

Yeah. He wants to bed at eight. He's making it work. People will make it work. He made it work. He went to bed at 8 the night before. I sat in my living room and watched Love Island Games. And then I went into bed and I woke up at 9.

And he woke up at 545 and he did his whole test. He did all like everything. And then he had the whole day and we were able to go out all day together. So it's like you just have to find a balance of what works. And like I think that's what he's shown me. Like no one's more busy than him, but he makes it work. Yeah. And vice versa.

Like I really support him. Like he said he's had issues in the past where people are like, oh, like you have to take a test. Okay, I'm going to sit in the room with you. That's so funny. Well, you've always said to me that you've had advice from people that are like, he should see you more. He should have more time with you or this isn't enough. And I said to you, just tell those people. you don't have to fucking date him.

I'm the one that has to date him. This is my parameters. He's intentional with me. He has let me know exactly what to expect. And I am fine. If you don't like that, you don't date him. Well, I think it was also people being like,

are you sure you're spending all weekend with him? Like, you're giving your weekends to him. And I'm like, yeah, like I'm comfortable with it. Well, I think like, I don't know. Rayna and I were talking about this. Like, as you get older, you also transition out of that mindset a little bit. Like, we go to dinner and do fun stuff during the week.

What am I doing anyway? We don't go out. Like, let's get the same. fucking wasted every weekend. The days are kind of all the same. We all work for ourselves also. So like, a schedule. A Tuesday could be like a Saturday. And then I worked all day yesterday, which was Sunday. Yesterday I was like, I'm going to go to a house and work all day. 100%. It just doesn't, this might not be relatable to everybody in what they do for work. But also just as you age, it's less about like, gotta live for the weekend. You know, like, I want to do anything on

the weekends. Yeah. I would love it if you want to sit here and do nothing with me. Yeah, I'm like, what do you mean giving up my weekend? Like, I've been dying to give up my weekend. Yes. Yes. Yes. I just think the theme of this is also just don't let people get in your head. Like, you know what works for you. And also, I'm just like a big gut person. Like, this is what I said to him. I know he rather be with me than like at a stuffy, like, tiring job.

Yeah. And I think that's the one thing I always say. Why would I get mad at someone for like being ambitious? Like to me, that's the most attractive thing. Like, of course I'm going to support you in this because like I respect you and I respect what you're doing. And I think honestly my sister was like a really good example because her husband works an investment banking and he works really late nights. He travels during the week all the time.

And she was always so secure. And it was really nice to see because when she was younger, like they started dating in her 20s and people would be like, why can't he come to happy hour with us? And my sister would be like, because he's working. And like she would show up places alone a lot. And she was so confident with it. She was always like, I support him. I respect him and like, I don't care if I'm coming alone. And I really liked that because a lot of girls will be like nagging their husbands or

boyfriends being like, you need to come to this happy hour with me. It's like they can't. They have other things going on. And if we're going to be together, if we're going to end up together, we have the rest of our lives, we'll hang out enough. I just think like patience is important and then just also having your own life. But I would hope someone was like that for me too. Absolutely.

I travel a lot for work. I travel on weekends and then we miss our weekends hanging out. And he has to adjust and see me during the week. My schedule is my life. And if you don't accept my schedule, you are not accepting what I've chosen to do with my life. So where do we go from there? You don't really like me if you don't like my schedule.

Yeah, it's just a respect thing. And I think it's just about being realistic. My dad said something to me once, and I thought, it was like really like was impactful because I was telling him how on dating apps, it's very surface level because you're just seeing pictures, you're seeing education and you're seeing job. And I was telling him, like, how I swipe past some, like, jobs.

And he was, like, disgusted. Like he was like really disappointed in me. He was like, I'm really disappointed that you're judging people. And I was like, well, it's a very superficial process. And he was like, I get it and I hear you. But he said, it depends how you define success. Is success money or success being in a healthy, happy relationship? And like it really like changed my opinion of like what do you define success as?

And it really impacted me because I was like, he's so right. Like all this other shit, like get rid of the list. If success to you is just being with someone that makes you happy, stop being a stuck up bitch. Like go for whoever. Go for someone that's going to make you happy. Yeah. And I mean, we talk about that sometimes too of like there are certain jobs and careers that

seem very attractive and the type of people that choose to go into them may not be the type of person that's going to give you the like connection that you want or the prioritization that you want or the time. You know, there's things like that too. So, well, we want to wrap up with talking a little bit about the tea company. Yes, because it's holiday season. Yes. It is.

It is really the perfect gift. They pair perfectly with the vibrators. We should do a collab. A blow gel tea collab. Oh my God. No, I have so many collab ideas in my back pocket. Yeah, so basically I launched Tea with Publicity, the tea. It's so funny because I'm actually like such a tea drinker, like my family, my dad.

Like, I grew up in a house of like non-coffee drinkers. So it was like kind of ironic. that my, everyone says like spill the tea, but it was just ironic, this like common theme of like tea in my life. And then I always knew I wanted to launch something. And I kind of just had the idea like while I was driving. And I think what makes my tea really different, one, it's so good. It's that my packaging doubles as home decor. And that was really important to me because as someone that gets a lot of PR packages, there's so much waste and I'm getting rid of so many packages all the time. And I was like, I don't want it to just be another box that I'm like

spending all this money on producing for people to, like, throw out. Like, I want it to look like a coffee table book. I call it a tea table book. And I want you to be able to display it in your home. And I want it to be a collector's item. Like, as I have new launches and new flavors, you could stack them like books. So my packaging looks like a coffee table book. You could put on your coffee table.

I say put your remote control on it. Yeah. Put your vibrators in there. Genuinely, no. People were like, you could. Yeah. You could store like. I mean, we want you to save R boxes too.

You could put some vibrators in that, though. with some vibrators in there. No, it's so true. The whole vizel of a collection. What are your tea boxes? Like your weed in there, your vibrator. Like it's literally like your paraphernalia box.

Love it. Yeah, because it's discreet. Oh, you're not. A box. Yes. I've not heard that word. I have a drug box upstairs. Of course I do.

It's not as beautiful a shirt. It's a drug box. So I was like, you can keep the box. And the whole concept was really built on like, spilling the tea while sipping the tea. So I just like wanted to make tea drinking cool. I feel like there's such a culture around coffee,

but not around. tea and I'm like, there's so many people now that are sober curious and like not drinking. And I'm like, sip it while you spell it. So that's the whole thing. My first flavor is binge watch black tea. So you could drink the tea while binging your favorite reality TV shows. Yeah, I love it. Your photos and like all the marketing and the branding is just so incredible. Thank you. Totally. Where can people buy the tea? Yeah. So it's tea withpublicity.com. Publicity is spelt. It's a plan words between public the word publicity and my nickname list. So it's P-U-B-B-E-E-E-E-E-A. L-Y-S-I-T-Y-S-I-T-Y.

So tea with publicity. Everything also on my main channel is just publicity, and I kind of like link out from there. But yeah, for the holidays, we offer a tea, an infuser bundle. It's $35. So I actually think it's a perfect gift because, like, I had a lot of people

buying them, like, a head of Thanksgiving to give to like whoever's hosting or it's just like a nice gift because everyone drinks tea. Totally. And you want to bring them a gift. It's like kind of gender neutral. It looks nice. It's packaged nice.

Yeah, so that's my spiel. I love it. be coming out with new flavors and stuff too. I can't wait. Okay, yay. Well, guys, get it for, yes, I love that. It's a holiday gift, a hostess gift, that for your friends.

It's cold season, buy a little bourbon on it. Cold season. Oh, yeah. I'm making a tequila drink. Oh. Like, I'll do a little tutorial of how to make a mixed drink with it.

And you can make iced tea with it too. Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah, I thought at your launch party was incredible. So good. And then all your other content is so valuable. If you guys want to know how to make a painting. Oh, yeah. I've got you.

And your Instagram is great. Your PR play of the day. you know, you do great content. Do we plug everything? Your podcast. Yeah. Publicity is my main handle. Everything else under tea with publicity. My podcast, my tea business. That's everything. I'm so happy I came on. We are so happy to. Wonderful. I love this conversation so much. I know. I feel like it's just us sitting on our couch as talking anyway. I think such a pro. It's just perfect. What a dream. Okay. Well, Tom Sean, we miss him. I love Sean so much. Yeah. He's a best. I talked about him yesterday. Like, on a Sunday solo. I love him.

Okay. Okay. And if you guys know where to find us, Girls GottaEat.com, get those tickets, those very last two shows, and Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Raina is reina.org. Subscribe on YouTube, tell a friend, Vivesonly.com. Get your vibrators, put in your tea box, do all the things. And we will see you next week. Happy Thanksgiving. We love you guys. Bye. Bye.