Girls Gotta Eat - SHOOT YOUR SHOT GIRL SUMMER

Episode Date: May 31, 2021

We're vaxxed, waxed, and ready for summer 2021, baby! On this episode, we're hyping you up to get back out there and date with mindset shifting for shooting your shot, tips for your app profiles, ways to gas yourself up before a date/night out, a breakdown of the happy hormones and how to hack them, and more. We're also chatting about having sex anxiety when it's been a while and how to know when it's right to sleep with someone, and also sharing our listeners' goals for Shot Girl Summer. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Visit our website for show dates, merchandise, and more, and check out our Spotify playlists! Thank you to our partners this week: FabFitFun: Get $10 off your first box at FabFitFun.com with code GGE. AllForm: To find your perfect sofa and get 20% off all orders, go to allform.com/gge. Hello Tushy: Get 10% off + free shipping at hellotushy.com/gge. Dipsea: Get a 30-day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many people said to us, like, I haven't fucked in like six months, eight months, 12 months. We'll figure it out, trust me. Back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome to Summer. We're in LA. It's a shot girl, summer. Yeah, you know what it is. Wow.

Well, unofficial start to summer. We do this every year. But it's Memorial Day. It's June 21st. It's Memorial Day. We are together in L.A. It has been colder here than it was in New York. Weather.

Weather. Hot take. Weird. I've been out here all. week. You finally came to meet me here. We'll talk about it. Okay. Oh my gosh. So much to talk about. Yeah. So I've been out here for a week. You just got here and we're recording in this amazing studio that you found called Gold Diggers. Yes. It's called Gold Diggers, like Raina just said. And it's in East Hollywood, L.A. My friend Kate alerted me to it because we needed a studio for

this episode and next week's episode because we had a very big guest that you guys will see. You probably already saw it's Chelsea Handler. So anyway, We're like we need a legit studio for Chelsea, because Raina and I would just record in our hotel room, honestly. 100%. So Kate told me about this. It's actually a guy that is involved in it that I knew from Atlanta randomly, but it's called Gold Diggers. It is a boutique hotel and bar, which opens in mid-June. So the bar is now, I think, only open of private events, but it'll be open soon.

And nine recording studios. So we're in Studio 9. There's all these other studios. They were saying that Leon Bridges just recorded an album here. Like people record podcasts here. Anybody can record here. So if you guys need a studio in L.A., Gold Diggers, L.A. is their Instagram.

And then you can go to the website at gold-diggers.com. So I would come back here and stay at this cute boutique hotel. And then we're like, right, we're at work, you know? Absolutely. So anyway, I can't recommend enough. Check it out. If you guys are in L.A. You need a place to record or you just want to go to a cool bar in a boutique

hotel. It's like a very cool. It feels cool over here. I feel like I'm like a cool kid in L.A. East Hollywood. You are a cool kid. We're going to go have an, um, a website. to Hollywood, launch after this.

But you don't have, like, so east side. Like, I don't know. You're east side for life. Everything. Biggie. I might be Westside for life. I'm throwing up gang symbols. Did you have a preference on rap growing up?

No, I liked Tupac and Biggie. I like both. You can't not like both because they're both icons, but like I was hardcore bad boy for life. You were? Oh, Biggie. You were walking around, bad boy for life? Like, bad boy for life.

Like, just the whole bad boy family. I probably was more into. Puffy, Mace. I probably was too. Okay. But I'm a big East Dan. And then, but I, you know, of course, Pock and Snoop Dog and Drey and. I don't know.

I was like, like, East Coast, West Coast, Ward. Yeah. I was like, elementary school, white girl. And like, it was all the dream. I used to read Wardup. I would buy Wardup magazine just to be like, I would read Word of Magazine. Anyway, why do we do it? I was wearing, like, jort overall.

I was a little kid. I was like, what's the same? Gosh, gosh, bag, bag. You're just like... But I've been in... This is the longest I've ever been in L.A. I've never been here

more than a few days. I haven't been away from you. I mean, you and I are never away from each other that much. So I've been away from you for a week. I've enjoyed being out here.

It's nice. I've been eating a lot. I came out here because my guy lives out here. We went to San Diego for the weekend, which is really fun. I haven't been back

since you and I did shows on Valentine's Day. 2020. Yeah. Ever heard of it? Yeah. We did the House of Blue. So I hadn't been back.

And so that was like really, really fun. We did like a whole day. I always plan a lot of trips around food, so I did a lot of that. And I read, I said the story, I revisited this place that you and I went to called Oscars Mexican seafood. That people recommended there's three locations, two of the men are in La Jolla. You and I went and the chips man, they got me. So first of all, we need to back up. When we got to San Diego, we, well, we missed our flight, for one last. Why wait? Because you were getting a pedicure. You were getting those slippy feet. I got the pedicure in the airport because we were in the airport for three extra hours we missed the flight because we misestimated how long it would take to get there but also I was having sex

so I was running behind so it was this Valentine's Day 2020 we left on our last trip ever before the pandemic but we got into San Diego really late that night so we had to take a later flight because we missed our first flight and you ordered guac and chips up to your room the second we got there

was my Valentine's meal that was your Valentine's meal I mean we got in at like 11 p.m. and you said I just got chips in Guas and walk and you sent me a photo and they were like thick chips. They're like double chips. Yeah, big thick chips. Which is, this is no shade, but like, you're eating double the chips. And they're greasy and they're thick. And the next day, you were like, I don't feel so great from all the chips at midnight. And then what did you do? You ate so many more chips at Oscars.

And so I told you, Raina, when you're going to San Diego, don't be eating all those thick chips. And Ashley, we saw what I was doing that day, and she responded to my story, like, don't all those chips, love mom. And I was like, she doesn't fucking know my stomach. It's a new year. It's 2021. I can't handle these chips. I'm going to be fucking fine. I will say every time I am with, so I travel to see the guy that I'm dating a lot because we don't live in the same city. Every time I'm with him, I'm either on my period. I just got a UTI. I have cramps. I was sick as fuck the last time. I did I say. UTI. I got an IUD. And so he thinks that I'm just like a sickly person. So I was like, I'm going to be fine this whole driven city.

I go, nothing bad is going to happen. So we ate all the chips. And then if you guys have ever been to La Jolla, it's a really beautiful area. So we're sitting cliffside at the beach. And I was like, I feel the chips like hit my stomach. And like I feel not just poop. I feel explosive diarrhea coming on. Oh my God.

Like I'm sweating. I'm panicking. I'm like, I really have to go the bathroom. And he's like, I just want to sit here. It's so beautiful. And I was like, just let's like find a bathroom. And we'll go. And I'm like, I'm sweating.

I'm trying to figure out like where I'm going to take a shit. So we walk. over to like the cliff side. And I kid you not, the bathroom situation at this lifeguard stand is five stalls that are not floor to ceiling doors. It's like as if you walked into a bathroom, there's just five stalls out in the middle of nowhere. I've never seen anything like this. You just walk over and there's, it's not like porta potty. It's five stalls with no roof and no floor. You just take a shit. There's a line of 20 people listening to you shit outside. I'm like, I can't do it here. So I'm like, we have to go to the other side. So we're walking to the other side of the

cliff and he's like there's restaurants up there like it's really like steep you're up on a hill he's like way up this hill and I'm like I will shit my pants if I walk up this hill so I don't tell him that I'm still like we're still like in though I don't poop phase and so you're out of that phase if he listens to the show I don't know if he listens but I'm breathing heavy I'm like so upset so we walk down the club he's like there's nothing down there I'm like you're a man you're stupid you don't know anything we walked down we walked past a wedding that he like tries to stay and watch because it's romantic I'm like I can't do this oh my god there's no bathroom I'm like about to shit my pants so we have to

run up this hill. It's like three blocks straight up the steepest hill you've ever seen. We go into, I find this bathroom at this coffee shop. I'm like, oh my God, thank God. It's happening. It's happening. And the guy goes, there's a line for this. 20 people in the line. I feel like I'm sweating with this story. It's a coffee shop, so I'm smelling the coffee and I can feel like the poop bubbling up. And then I'm like, oh my God, we have to go somewhere else. And he's like bolting down the street. We found a Pete's coffee. And I go in, there's no line. I'm like, thank the fucking Lord. I go to open the door. And this girl goes, someone's cleaning that restroom.

And I was like, can I get in there? And she was like, it's going to be 20 to 25 minutes. No. And I was like, the shit is going to start dripping down my body in like two seconds. Again, I've been dating this person for five seconds. Dragging into all these places. I can take a dokey is not like my idea of a magic trip. And then he was like, I was like losing my mind.

So we finally find this like cannabis shop. We go in. There's like a bathroom. He's like, I'll just wait right outside the door. I was like, this is going to be the loudest shit of all time. I cannot believe you're doing this to me. And I don't even know what to say. So I was like, okay, I guess you just stand there.

He stands outside the door. I take the loudest shit of my life. I'm like, it's finally over. We're going to walk out and pretend this didn't happen. He's just, we don't, maybe he didn't hear it. I don't know. We did the rescue. I opened the door and he goes, well, we're here.

So I'll just use the bathroom. I'm like, I cannot believe you are going to smell what I just did to this bathroom. Well, first of all, I love this episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. That was an amazing ride. I feel like I'm just picturing Larry David that whole time. Like, that was like what else could go wrong? Not every place we went to. I just, it was like, killed the road.

romance. He saw me at my worst, like, most lowest level. It's like your hangary level, but worse. I couldn't breathe. I was sweating. I was blacked out. You don't know what you're going to do. And I kept saying like, I have to pee, but like, I think he understood, like, what it meant. I don't, you know, I am familiar with your relationship at this point. We talk about a lot. Like, you need to just lean into this. You talk about shitting every week. It's a huge part of your brand. Like, it needs to become. Like, I'm not saying shit with the door open and go in and let him huff it. You need to be open about needing to shit. You talk about it all the time.

And I just feel like your relationship would be better if you just let him know. And he gets it. Yeah. Also, I loved saying, I told you so, about those chips. You weren't just right. It was like 10 times worse than it's ever been. I was like, why did I do this? Those chips.

That was my really romantic trip. I do want to say, people have asked me a lot, how do you get food, how do you find which restaurants to eat at in city? So I just wanted to, like, quickly plug. Like, I, because you and I spend, like, a lot of time planning. trips and looking at lists. And so like, if you guys were looking for places to eat in new cities, some stuff that I really like is eater, the infatuation, Connie Nass Traveler, Thrillist, all really good places to look for restaurants. And there are lists, oh, and timeout, all great lists for restaurants. If you guys are looking for places to eat in a new city. Yeah, I just always love asking people

on Instagram. I mean, when we would travel and we would say, tell us what to do in your city. And I would be very specific, like, here's what I like. Here's what I like rooftop vibes. I like places on the water. I want like a boozy brunch, you know, it would just be kind of specific, and I would just always get the best recommendations. And even if you don't have, like, a huge following. I mean, honestly, it's a little overwhelming if you have huge following, sifting through hundreds of responses. But my brother did that when he went to New Orleans and he got, like, great, recommendations. And so I always think it's fun to just, like, crowdsource. Because people just love to share stuff in their city and cities they've been to. 100%. People love to, like, pass on a wreck. They got from somebody else. And also, I love when somebody tells me something's terrible that they went to. Or overrated. 100%. So I don't ever go to Yelp or TripAdvisor for food. I will say that in San Diego, probably, like, the most hype, the place that's hyped the most is also amazing. And what is it? Is it more? Morning Glory. Their Instagram is called like pancake lore or something. Their Instagram is a weird handle. It's incredible. You know, I was talking to Kelsey Dera,

who we've had in the show recently, and I saw she was there. And I was like, that place is my happy place. When we were there, it's just, it's all pink. It's like the most like millennial looking decor and the food's amazing. But when we were there, they played Beyonce the whole time. When I was there, the song comes on. The song comes on, come on put your name. On it. And the part that goes, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, all the bartenders

picked up their mugglers and they're just going, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, it was the littest party ever. They just play Beyonce and Rihanna. It was incredible. It's like my, that's probably why it's like so much my happy place,

but. It's in Little Italy and San Diego. It's super busy, so make sure you guys get a rest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how's your IUD going? So you tossed it up there. Thank you for asking.

I have not experienced the cramps that everybody's been saying. I had one day where I felt like a little bit, like it's hard to explain it like gross. My stomach just felt like inflamed a little bit. Um, I've been bleeding a little bit. And then the last three days, I think I got my period. I don't fucking know. I'm bleeding. I don't know. I've been wearing a tampon, but like I'm not uncomfortable. There's no discomfort. I've been having like a bunch of sex. I haven't noticed a difference. Oh, you're having sex? Well, yeah, I'm here with my man. But like period sex?

Yeah. Okay. We don't care. I also like, you know like, you know my periods are. My period's like super light always. So I actually don't ever bleed during sex. Okay. Almost. It just plugs it up. Yeah. I don't Yeah, just toss something up there. I don't really bleed during sex, so it's not like it gets on the bed or anything. Okay. So I've been having, again, a positive experience with a tiny little bit of blood. Other than that, I'm fine. Okay.

I wanted to update people on it. What is going on with you? I don't even know what I really, I mean, I, you know, we're here in LA. My Kate lives here. She's my best friend other than Raina and Corey. And so I'm spending the time with her. Again, we just interviewed Chelsea Handler, who was just, you know, my number one person that I ever wanted to interview. And so that'll be next week. So I'm on a

high from that. And I almost missed my flight. And it was just, I haven't felt that panicked in so long because there was no other option for me. I would have missed the interview. Like I couldn't, I was on the last flight of the day because I wasn't even supposed to be here yet. I was supposed to come in a couple days. So I changed my flight. I had to pick the one that was the corresponding price with Delta as they put me on the 7.30 p.m. flight to land in L.A. at 10. I thought I was going to miss my flight. I had five minutes left before I checked my bag. I would have really like died for you. But I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And I, you know, I have a driver that I used sometimes. So I was with him and we were just figuring out alternate routes. And I had to get there.

I had to get there by 630. My flight was at 715 to check a bag. And I was going to JFK. LaGuardia usually is fine. It's just not that far. But JFK is so far. And when it's traffic, that's why we missed that flight to San Diego. It was JFK. So I saw his like thing, his iPhone. map app changed to like 633. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, they won't let you check the bag. You're just fucked. And I was like, oh my God, I was like, can we just try to find another route? And thank God he found another route. If I wasn't with him, like, if I was just in a taxi or an Uber, I would not be here. And I'm like, you know, you just get so like shaken up even thinking about it. And I mean, when I checked in, she was like, you're late. I'm like,

yeah, but I know. I'm sweating. Can you not see that I'm like panicked? I've never been shamed like that in an airport. And she was like, you know, really late. I'm like, oh my God. So I just barely made it. But that feeling, oh my gosh. And I post on my Instagram story like, hey, everybody traveling, because it's crazy right now. The airports are packed. Like, just remember to leave yourself enough time

because I was so close to like almost not making this interview. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. First of all, JFK said 35 minutes and took me 75 last week. I'm so glad you made it. Wow. That would have been so devastated for you. Yeah.

Because we made lists of our number one guest and Chelsea's been your number one. So you guys will hear that next week. But no, everything. I mean, Azul's with my parents. He's in Delaware. I miss him so much. So yeah, I don't really have anything else. But I wanted to announce something for us that I'm really excited about. We're really excited about. So we have made some Spotify playlists for Girls Got to Eat. So we now have a Girls Got to Eat Spotify account. Obviously, Girls Got to Eat is on Spotify as a podcast. But we made an account and we're going to make playlists. And they're going to be themed. And those are going to be episodes that have to do with that theme plus music. So, So, for example, the ones you'll find now, there is one for getting yourself really hyped for dating and getting back out there, which is what the episode is about today. And then there's music that corresponds with it. So it's going to be like our top four to seven episodes about that mixed in with songs. So it's like just an all-encompassing feeling yourself getting back out there dating playlist. And then there's one for sex.

And then we're just going to do, I don't know. We haven't fully decided. We're going to release one every week, whatever. But we'll do one with like hot male comedians or something. You know what I mean? And have a bunch of music that you would masturbate to. I don't know. So we have fun plans for that. So go follow Girls Got to Eat and then check those out. Again, we really made a playlist that is all of the episodes that touch on the stuff we're talking about today. So they're all in one place with the music. You guys are going to love it. And then also while we're here, just make sure you're following Girls Got to Eat podcast on Spotify. If you're in there, just click follow when you go to the podcast page. So if you guys are Spotify listeners, just make sure you're like following and then also check out our playlist. But those are two separate things. Yes, and I want to hype this a little bit harder than she is because the playlist that Ashley did this, this is her, and such a great creative idea, and her thing really is playlist. And if you guys have ever been to a live show, Ashley puts together the playlist ahead of the live show so you guys can get like really hype in the theater. If you were at Ashley's brother's wedding, she put together a playlist. She's just so good at this and it's really fun and you really like know music and you know way better than I do. And it's just like such a fun thing to have this playlist for like getting ready or having a breakup. And it was just such a

fun, creative idea. I love that you did this. I'm very excited to have you guys check it out and hopefully like put in your stories, tell friends about it. You know, tag us, let us know you're listening to it. Thanks. Oh my God. Thanks so much. That's such a nice thing to say. Also, we get asked a lot about episodes about certain topics. So I like that we're just putting them, again, not every single episode that touched on this topic, but we know that we have new listeners that maybe they're trying to get back to the 170 episodes, but they could never get through them all. So, um, if, If you're newer, you're like, I want to know all the episodes they've had about, like, dirty sex. Okay, here you go.

Uh-huh. And it is really compiled really well. We do it on our website, too. You guys can search episodes, but it's not always like, I mean, I think it's easy, but it's not always just easily accessible and replaced like in Spotify. So you did that for everybody. Yay. Check them out, you guys.

Yeah. And that's what we're talking about today. Like we said, getting back out there and Shock Girl Summer. I had one wreck that I didn't say. Oh, what was it? The Olivia Rodrigo. album. Oh. Are you loving it so much? Yeah. Are you not? Love. Okay. Laving it. Are you, did you listen to it? I can't tell if you're lying right now to be cool. I haven't listened to the whole. I haven't listened to the whole album. I'm like

not as into music as you are. I know, I know. I like music. I'm not a sociopath, but I'm not good about music like that album. It's just, it's really a masterpiece. I mean, I've been such a, she's what 16. I'm like such a stand of this kid. No, she's incredible. She's such a talent. I think she's going to be like a real star. But I love driver's license, obviously. And then I love deja vu. And I just love this whole album. And then there's like kind of the angsty songs that have like Avril vibes. And then my favorite song is probably called Trader. And I just think it's like about a guy that like didn't quite cheat. But like when I first heard the album that dropped what like last Friday and I was like, I'm can't see my plans. I'm staying in tonight. I'm

going to lay my bedroom floor and lock the door and write in my journal with the gel pen. Like that's how I'm feeling. Have you seen those memes? Ash, I have. I've seen all the memes. Also, Ash is like the 16-year-old just gets me. I know. Like, it's so, the memes are so funny. And this is just how it is. I mean, how many, like, 30-plus-year-olds were stands of Destiny's Child when Beyonce was a teenager? You know, like, I'm just, you know, these kids, these kids start young. Taylor Swift start a career, what, 15, you know? So we always are listening to people that are super young when we're, like, twice their age. But I just have loved these. Because millennials, we were like the original kind of angsty, emo generation, you know, like, slamming our door and listening to these songs. And so I think that she's, brought that out in us and they are relatable. I also think that 16 year olds, the 2021 16 year olds are not like 16 year olds when I was a kid at least. I just feel like they have access to more of the world. I think they've like grown up in a different, like, I was just like, I was like a little kid at 16. I mean, I was still having sex, but rub it in. No one would puck

me until I was 18. Um, I, not like in a weird way. Not like because it was like an older guy. I just yeah I was getting pounded at 16 I was having great sex let me tell you I just I didn't lose I don't know one to fuck me in high school I didn't lose my Virginia until I graduated but also I don't know if she's 16 she might be 17 I just I think she's she's young and I'm a huge fan and I think she's like a wonderful talent and I can't wait to see what her career goes big fan anyway that album sour it's called sour I can't recommend enough okay that was my one rack um I don't have any wrecks I have other wrecks we'll do them next week well I mean I got one I'm gonna hit you with one that's been on the air for 10 years. Okay. Next week. So we're really excited to do this episode today, the beginning of summer. We asked you guys, you know, a few weeks ago, what are you looking for in terms of topics? What would you like to see us talk about?

More than half of the response is overwhelmingly from hundreds and hundreds of you were two things. How do I get back out there now that like COVID restrictions are lifting and I can finally like date again? And how do I basically break out of a dry spell? Which are sort of the same things to us. And so so many people are going through this and so many people are like, I haven't fucking dated, flirted with a man, sat at a bar. Like, everybody, all of us were like dating this summer,

like you out and like igloos on the street. And it's like, the world is open. You can finally date again. And so many people are like, I don't remember how to do this. Yeah. So we have done a lot of episodes about meeting men, getting back out there feeling confident.

And you wrote down a list to recommend to people. So you guys can go back. And so we're going to give you some fresh ideas about how to get back out there and embrace Chuck Girl Summer. Yeah, sure. They're in the playlist, by the way. But, you know, ones that are great are Matthew Hussie's episode. We did an episode called How to Meet Men in the Wild. Shand Booty, she had a great episode dominating in sex and dating. Case Kenny's episode, Nina Parker, stuff of your dating game. So all those are great. They'll be in the playlist. But I guess if I were to pick a favorite, it would be Matthew Hussie, because I feel like he kind of walked you through how to like talk to someone if you spot them, how to, in a bar, how to make eye contact. But yeah, I think we're all this like shock girl summer, we're vax, we're wax, we're ready to fucking go. Like, I'm not trying to get to, like, the motivational speaker, but like, we made it. Like, we survived this pandemic.

I just think we should all congratulate ourselves, first of all. Like, I'm a survivor. Like, yes, so much loss happened. We've all been through it. You know, so much terrible stuff has happened. But if you're here now, you're listening to this podcast, like, you made it. You survived. Like, congratulate yourself. Don't let anybody make you feel like less than. Like, this was an insane thing. It was historical. I think we're on the tail end of it. You know, I think that, we're doing pretty well for once in this country. We know some people don't have it as good as we do now, but it is starting to feel very normal,

at least in New York City. And, you know, I just think it should have all changed us for the better. You know, I think we should all be more empathetic, kinder. Like, we've all lived through this thing. And, you know, if people aren't and they're going to treat you like shit or saving things to you, like, fuck them. You know what I mean? Like, we're good.

Shoot your shot. We'll get into it. But I just feel like if you're here now, you're listening to this, like we fucking made it. And who cares? just get out there. Shoot your shot summer. I feel very hyped up with you.

Yes, shoot your shot girl summer. That's what it is. I was inspired by all the people saying this because I think everybody just wants to feel like they're normal, like what they're going through is normal. And I'm constantly reminded by that when we get emails, so many similar emails from listeners. And just remind yourself like guys,

everybody's senses are dulled now. No one remembers how to date. No one's like killing it in the data game. If you aren't good for you, great. I mean, if you got a pandemic boyfriend, you're the elite. But like no one remembers how to do this. Everyone's just getting back out there again. We're all in the same place.

Everybody's body doesn't necessarily look the same as it did at the beginning of COVID. You know, everybody's just not like, they're not sharp with the dating skills. I think we've all reformed maybe what we want from our lives and from a partner in the last year because we've like learned so much more about ourselves and what we want. And maybe you're newly single or maybe you have been completely single throughout the pandemic and you're like, I haven't had sex in a year. I promise you so many people that wrote to us. are literally in the same place.

I haven't fucked in a year. And guys, too. I love that you said that. Like, I just think of Jared Fried screaming, we're all inside the bell curve. You know, like, if you're feeling some kind of way, so are other people. And of any, men, men, women,

whatever you identify as, we are all feeling the same way. If you're going to feel a little awkward, they're feeling awkward too. You know, like, we're all, we all went through this together. We're all changed from it. And if you're feeling like,

you're nervous about getting back out there, you feel rusty, you know, you don't know what your game is going to look like, like, everybody else feels like that, too. So, like, don't even worry about it. I mean, I just think, you know, you, it's not to do like a sports analogy, but to do a sports analogy, like you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Just get out there. We've all been rejected, like, what's the worst thing that could happen? I don't know. Like, what I always think that, we talked to this before. This isn't like a hot take. Like, what's the, what's the fear?

You show someone you have emotions and they shame you for it. What an asshole. You know what I mean? Oh, I have emotions and I directed them towards you and I like you and I want to talk to you. I want to spend time with you. I have a crush on you. I want to date you. And they're like, make you feel bad. Like, that's rare for one. So, like, let's just get rid of that fear.

And if someone makes you feel like that, like, they're, they fucking suck anyway. Like, fuck them. 100%. I love your sports metaphor that you miss. 100% of the shots you don't take. Because I think that we let rejection stop us from doing so many things that could make us happy potentially. And I always like to think what is the worst case scenario from doing this.

And that has always driven me to take new jobs, to move somewhere, to message somebody to walk up to a guy at a bar. You know, I'm the first. first person to walk up to somebody and just be like, hey, the worst, first of all, I read the room, right? Before I make calculated risks. I'm not like a crazy person out here. But it's never stopped me from like walking up to a person or even like the person I'm currently dating. We were talking about this the other day. I like DMed him a couple times and he like didn't really seem like he was into it. But I was like, I like this guy. And he's not like completely giving me

the Heisman. So I'm going to like lean into this a little bit and like DM him a little bit more and just see. And I was talking about this the other day because what he said to me was I was just nervous. I liked you. I didn't really know what to say to you. Right. I thought you were like this really funny person. You was like, big show. I was like, I don't know if she's into me. And he didn't really give me I'm into her vibes. And so I just, I kept up with it a little bit. And I'm so glad I did. Because like, I could have just been like, this guy's not into me. Fuck it. He's just not that into me and walked away from it. I'm so glad that I like kept trying a little bit. Because like the worst thing that was going to happen was this person was just not messaging me.

And they're like, what do I care? I'm still in the same place I was at before, which is that they're not talking to me. Right. Yeah, exactly. And what, like, I think we build stuff up in our head of, like, the worst case scenario. What was he going to do? He was going to screenshot it, posted on Reddit. Look at this pathetic girl that has a crush on me. Like, that's not a thing that happens. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going to get publicly stoned for liking somebody. Right. But I think also just approaching people, like you're always so good about it. And again, I referenced Matthew Hussie's episode that was in January or February of 2020, like, of, you know, reading the room, like you said, making eye contact, things like that. But like, in terms

of what to say to somebody, if you feel like you're the person that's going to start a conversation, you're in a close proximity to someone and the opening is there. Like, we have so much content now. Like, how cool is it that this bar is back open? You know what I mean? Like, how's your pandemic been? Like, what vaccine did you get? You know what I mean? Like, I just think we have, we've all been through this collective thing. And I don't know another time in my life, really, in any of our lives where we've literally all been through the same exact thing. We all have it. to talk about. And as things open back up, like, I just think the number one thing you can say is, like, isn't it great to be able to be here? You know what I mean? Like, isn't it so cool that we can be here?

Like, once you get to go up to a bar and order a drink again, like, oh my God, like, that's going to feel so incredible. Like, talk about that, you know, just keep it light and positive and, like, can you believe we, like, made it through? You know, we just have so much collective stuff to discuss. And we always say comment on what's going on to the room, you know, the long line that you're in. People are back out, like, fucking crowded, you know, comment on. that. There's just a common thread. And I think it lends itself to having topics and opening lines and such. Yeah, I think we all get in our heads so much about it too. Like, oh my God, this guy's so cute. Talk about the menu. Have you ever been here before? If the person's like, no, you can be like,

oh, how'd you find this? I've been here before. Do you like the cocktails? Is the food good? Literally just talk about the menu. And if somebody isn't nice to you, then fuck that person. But I will say, like, I feel like the vibe in the world is a little more positive than it used to be. And you I got on the row. We did six shows. I've never done six shows in a row where I felt every single audience was so fun, so hype, so positive and excited to be there. I mean, listen, all the shows were great. All the audiences are fantastic. But this is one, this was a run where I felt like everybody is so excited to be back out in the world. And I feel like people are being nicer to others. They're being more empathetic. They're just so excited to be there. And so I think that you should,

you should feel confident that people are going to be nice to you. And they're going to be excited to talk to people and meet people and go into it with confidence. And somebody is just like excited to interact with other people. And also, like, whether you're a man or woman approaching somebody the same sex, the opposite sex, like, who cares if you think you're, like, pretty enough to talk to that person or interesting enough? Let them be the judge of I want to talk to this person. And if they don't, who cares? That person is a stranger. Right. And so I love you said stranger, because that was kind of, those were some tips on talking to strangers. But let's talk about John Berger's method of just, like, hitting up somebody that you kind of know. You know,

like, I cannot recommend that enough. I love his book. again, make your move. He was on the show a couple months ago, but his book, Make Your Move is just all about this kind of challenge of trying to date people you already know. And they don't have to be people that you're friends with. They can be friends of friends. They can be like this guy you see at the coffee shop sometimes, you know, you've had like a kind of that you've had small talk with, you know, every situation is different. But there's certainly a world in which you kind of know somebody and you're like, maybe that person would be good. You know, I've seen the way they walk and talk. I know they're a normal person. I know they're friends. And you message them like,

hey, blank is back open. Do you want to check it out? You don't need to say, I want to fuck you, I want to date you. It could be that you're just looking for a new friend. They don't know. You know, I think being direct is fine. I think being honest is obviously the best way to be. But somebody could easily just be like, hey, oh my gosh, like this cool spot is like back open. Like, do you want to check it out with me sometime? Like, we just have a lot of things to do now. Like, shit's back open. And so I just love his idea of like, think of people you already know. And then if you get nervous, like, I haven't socialized in a year. I'm so awkward. I don't know what to say.

I don't like have any game. No one else is at a game either. And like you said, there's a million things to talk about. I love hearing how people spent like the three solid months of quarantine. Like, where were you? What were you doing? Something funny will always come up. We did an episode that I loved was my favorite segments.

We ever did it with Kendall Long last year in February 2020, where we did a segment about questions to ask on a first date. And people submitted so many great ones. it's at the end of the episode, and then you and I ran through them. There's so many good ideas about, like, what to ask. Somebody asked me yesterday, if you could be in any fictional setting, like a fantasy world and living, like Harry Potter, the Lord of the Rings, like, which one would you live in? And I love that question.

Or, like, if you could pick any fictional friend group, like Sex and the City, friends, gossip girl, which one would you be a part of? Wait, I love that. I saw a mean that said if you could go to any fictional restaurant, what would it be? Love this. Like, you know, the peach pit. Oh my God, I'm going to age myself so much. But like the max, obviously, the central perk.

Uh-huh. Do you know yours? I mean, I would have to say the max. Say by the bell. I like the vibe. I love a diner. I love the vibe. Oh, I hate being put on the spot.

And Sex and the City is, everything was real. So it was like, Sex and City was like Budakon. You know what I mean? Like, that's a real place. I love the fictional. I don't know. I thought that was such an interesting thing. So now we're like spiraling.

But like, no, I love these questions. They're really fun. And it's like pop culture. and you can learn as somebody like, are they like a sci-fi nerd? Are they like a tech nerd? Like, are they like really elitist? You don't only want to go to like one kind of place. Like you can learn a lot from people with these like hypothetical fun questions.

Like it doesn't always have to be like if you were a superhero, which one would you be? Like there's so many, like I could talk about the other, when somebody asked me the other night, like which fantasy world from a movie would you live in? And also it could be anything. It could be the Simpsons. Like you would live in Springfield. Yeah. Okay. And like what would your job be there too?

Like somebody said to me, I would be a bar back in Springfield. at Mo's. And like there's so many fun, not everything has to be. I watched you with a guy one night and like you talking to him and like you, it looked like the greatest conversation ever and you were like,

I didn't really learn that much about him, but it was like I watched you. It looked like the greatest conversation. It's like sometimes just these lighter, easier topics other than like, what do you do for work? Do you have any siblings? Like you learn somebody's vibes so much better asking these like silly fun questions

rather than the interview questions. Yeah. And you know, you can always slide in the DMs with one of those things. you know what I mean? There's so much content in the internet. Like if you, I'm just all about a DM slide and like all about like, you know, you can try to, you can try to trap somebody a little bit, you can try to catch somebody a little bit with a story that you think they're going to respond to. We've talked about this before. Like you stalk their Spotify playlist and then post a song on your

story so they'll slide in. But there's no guarantees that they'll slide in. But like, I just think, you know, the DMs have become just the same as texting in terms of communication. Like if you saw that random person and you guys had a conversation about something, like just fucking scour the internet till you see something that goes with that conversation and send it to them and be like ha ha ha remember this like there's just find those common threads and like get in there with them or send a text or you know whatever but i just think like we can be a little strategic it's not manipulative it's just like okay let's find this thing to talk about with this person you know i've i've had guys that have been in my DMs and asked me out and before i knew what i said yes to a date i'm like

how did this even happen like they picked up on something that i posted or that i was asking about When I asked for LASIC recommendations, three guys asked me out. They slid in with LASIC recommendations to ask me out. I went out with one of them. That's friend zone. But like, I just was like, how did this, how, what happened today? LASIC? Still haven't gotten LASIC.

I know. 2022 goal. Look great. I think we put so much weight on these interactions and we're like, is somebody who to think this thing I said was stupid? Are they going to respond? They're going to laugh at my joke. We put so much weight on these interactions, specifically with strangers, and we place so

so much value on them. And we value ourselves based on those. responses and it's like this is just light let's not like beat ourselves up if somebody doesn't respond right away if they don't think what you think is funny if you're on a date it gets a little awkward don't be so hard on yourself about these things it just doesn't matter and you and i have also like people have said like you know have a have a bench full of people and you and i've always said we're not great at dating a bunch of people at once i'm not you know it's hard for me to be like talking to three or four guys at once i've never been great at juggling it but like

if you can have a couple different people that you are interested in at the same time it helps you do not put so much weight on the interaction with one person. 100%. The apps, too. We're talking about all different ways of meeting people. Like we did an episode called Mastering the Apps. That'll be in the playlist too. But those things, you know, keep it like the same.

Like, who cares if someone doesn't respond to you or unmatches you? Like, everybody is busy lives. Now everybody really is like a lot of people have gone back to the office. People are traveling. Like, who cares? You know, I have guys message me that I matched with. And then by the time they message me, I'm not interested anymore. And that's not because they're ugly or they're bad.

Like, you know, it works both ways and a couple things with apps. One, just, if you don't want to be wasting your time with chit chat, then don't waste your time with chit chat. Like, I think say a thing. Here's my number. If you want to grab a drink some time, if you guys, I always find myself in conversations talking about pizza for some reason. Oh, we should grab a slice there sometime. Let me know. You don't want to be so specific.

You don't have to be like, I'm free next Wednesday. But you could be like, I'm around next week. Like, say the thing and then get out of there. Like if someone is just pen-palling you, chit-chatting you to death, say the thing, here's my number, drop a number. Guys love it. I can't recommend it enough. If you are chit-chatting back and board, then you see that opening to be like, well, hey,

you know, here's my number. Let me know if you want to grab a drink some time. If they want to go out with you, if they don't want to go out with you, if they're not going to text you and just like, call it. Be, get out of there. We've said this before. It's so shocking to me how many people are afraid to, how many people are afraid to ask somebody else on a dating app out on a date.

It's a dating app. You're there to meet people, get laid, interact, socialize romantically with somebody. So many people say to us, and I know that a lot of people get caught up in this because they mention it. We just talk endlessly. And it's like, you're welcome to stop that. Yes. This is a romantic interaction, 100%. Just say to the person, would love to go out this week.

Let me know what your schedule looks like. Let's get that pizza, whatever the fuck. And be done with it. And be done with it. If they don't bite, bye, that's it. You don't have to be like, you, me, Max's Diner next week. You know, like, you don't have to be some, like, bulldog about it. like drop the number, say the thing, and then move on to the next.

You also didn't meet somebody at the CVS parking lot. You're on a dating app. You can ask them out. Yes. Yes. They're on the, exactly. Like, you know, my biggest fear always with approaching somebody is that they're going to be like, and here's my girlfriend.

You know what I mean? That's not going to happen. They're on the day. Of course, yes, they could be secretly married or whatever. But I'm saying, like, that fear is kind of out the window if they're on the app too. I'm just going to throw this out just because it's like I just had a conversation with a friend the other day who was recently divorced and she just got back on the app. and she sent me her profile.

So I just figured I'd discuss this while we're here. Again, we did a whole episode in this. But just a few things. She was like, can you look at my profile? Immediately, I said, take out this picture of you and your whole family. Who cares? Like, yeah, somebody who date cares about your family? But nobody on a first impression date app cares about your whole fucking family.

I don't care. Like, if you have one cute picture with your parents, yeah, I'm going to see if they still full heads of hair. But other than that, it was her and her whole family, like, kind of cute on a couch. I was like, take it out. And then there was a photo of the Taj Mahal, not her. I'm like, I don't, nobody cares about this. And I was like, take out this picture of the Taj Mahal and replace it with a photo of you in India or in front of the Taj Mahal.

If you have it, if not, no one cares about this landmark that you're not in. And then also I was like, you have a dog, put a picture with your dog. Animals always perform well. People always comment on the dog. While we're here, if your dog dies, take the picture out immediately. Because inevitably, people start asking about your dog. When do we died, right? It was like, I had never talked about this.

but while we're here. Some by some sick turn of the universe, every message was about Dewey, like on my hinge. I was like, is it your dog? What kind of dog is it? A dead one? Like, I was like, I can't. Like, I just took a sip of water.

I almost died. Someone literally the week after, tell me about your dog. He died. What else do you want to know? And then I was like, how did he die? It was a guy that I'd match with

and now I'm going to remove the picture and he's going to know that I updated my profile, which it doesn't matter. But like, I say that to say, like, those are just some things. when I took the picture of Dewey off my profile, now Azul's there, but I put in a picture of me with a kangaroo

because I just think animals spark conversation. If you're, if you are super proud of your vaccine status, I don't mind seeing that. Let's talk about the vaccine. I talk about the vaccine with everybody I ever talked to every single day.

So a lot of that is in the episode, but just since I just recently coached a girlfriend on her dating app, it was like, the stuff that she needed to change was so glaring. Anything, we always, I think a lot of people try

to like cast a wide net on dating apps and you post these very generic photos of you. Actually, I would say, like, if there's very specific things about you, post yourself doing that thing. And you'll be able to find people like those hobbies. We talked about biking. If that's like your number one thing, your friend Rob, our friend Rob and his wife do it all the time. That was a number one thing for him. If somebody posts a bike photo, I'm not swiping on them because I can't ride a bike. If cooking is your number one thing, post a photo yourself cooking. You know, like pick the things that are super unique to you that also spark conversation. And we always say that, whatever it is,

this photo and say to yourself, does this spark conversation? I have this photo of myself on a dating app. It's me holding this giant, like, baronisaurus. It's a rib. It's a beef rib. Oh, okay. This giant barontosaurus? I was like a dinosaur. It's a huge beeper.

It's like the size of my head. I mean, a dinosaur is the dinosaur. Yeah, probably my favorite one. Really? That was your favorite? I was really into dinosaurs as kids. Like from land before time. What's the long neck? That's a bronosaurus. I was obsessed with the land before. time as a kid. I went to the museum with my dad to look at dinosaurs every week.

One of my favorite questions on a date app is, what's your favorite dinosaur? And I'm not even a cheesy question person. Like, you know me. I don't really get down with those. Like, if you were the car, what car would you be? I just, I just like what your favorite dinosaur. I love that question. It's very funny. So, baronosaurus. That's what I'm sad. That's what is. Anyways, there's a photo of me at the Mets game. I'm like clearly at a baseball stadium. I'm holding this giant rear up to my face. My body looks great. It's a kind of. It's a It's a conversation starter. I'm eating this huge piece of meat. I'm at a sporting event. I love sports. I love going to sports. And I think that it sparks conversations to look through all your photos and say, like, would I respond to this? Or is this just some random photo of me? Obviously, great face shot. Make sure there's a shot of your body. Katie Sterino mentioned this last week. Current photos. Yeah. Current photos that are representations of what you really look like. I cannot recommend pizza photos enough. Now I have two pizza photos on my hinge because I'm just, I have one of me in a broad.

top eating Chicago Deep Dish from Lollapalooza years ago. I'm not going to get rid of it because it's like it is the conversation starter because my midriff is out and I'm eating pizza and I get so many comments on it. And then me carrying that giant stack of eight Grotto's boxes. So I was like, do I really need two pizza picks? They are 10 out of 10. Those are the things that guys say. And I mean, especially if you're in New York, it always leads to where as your favorite pizza. Always. And then you have the opening to be like, no, I've never gone there. We should go. It happens eight out of ten times. It really goes according to in my history and being in New York and dating on the apps. It's like the pizza shot is the opener.

You can also put as one of your prompts, like, you tell me your favorite pizza in the city. That works too. Like, people just love to talk about food. And then you have the opening for we should go there. You know, always we say this all the time. We're just like have hammered this to death. Like start talking to people about their favorite places to get drinks, food, sandwiches, brunch, whatever.

And then that's where you go. 100%. Great equalizer. It'll always open up a conversation. And also about food. Like, I feel like you can learn a lot about people's lifestyle through food. Do they work out? Do they work out? Do they like to have breakfast in the morning?

Things like that. Like, I can just, I can learn a lot. Yeah, some people sleep until noon. That's not my guy. Okay. Somebody's like, I don't have breakfast because I sleep past fucking breakfast. Okay. That's not my man.

I want a copy in the morning guy. I just think that anything that can start a conversation spark interest. I always look through guys profiles and I'm like, this isn't telling me anything about you. So then I have to shoot my shot with like, hey, what's up? And it's like, yeah. I'm not going to ever talk. you about anything now. Harena's out here talking about the apps like she's ever done them.

Hypothetically. Somehow you still get great advice. COVID was tough for me because I couldn't be men in the wild. I didn't know how to talk to men on the internet. And so I'm personally very excited to get back out there. And boyfriend now, I don't know. What are you are out there? I'm going to take over.

Okay. So let's talk about, let's say you are trying to gas yourself up, whether you have a first date, which can be nerve-wracking, especially if it was with a stranger. or you are like, I'm going to go out tonight, I'm going to talk to a guy or whatever it is. Or you're like, I'm going to go down to the coffee shop and like ask that barista for his number today. Whatever.

I'm just hypothetical situations. Like, let's talk about how to like get yourself going to feel yourself. What do you like to do? Um, I always like I wear a lot of athleisure, so I think I look like cute and I like walk around these streets in the city. Um, you know, brush my hair, put on with some mascara. But like, the thing that I always tell myself before I respond. before I approach a guy is like, I think we're all on our head about like,

am I pretty enough, cool enough, smart enough, whatever. There is always going to be somebody that is prettier than you, better body, more successful, have more money, all these fucking things. Who cares? What is the difference? It has never stopped me from walking up to a guy and flirting with him and giving them an opening and chatting with them. That is how I hit myself up always, just in general.

There will always be somebody better than me. I don't fucking care. Like it'll never stop me from walking up to somebody. Yeah. That's how I hype myself up. Obviously, music is great. before you, like, walk out that door. And I love to be wearing an outfit that I'm feeling.

And, like, that is usually in the summertime, like, bike shorts and, like, an aloe yoga tank top. Like, I doesn't need to be some, like, four-star outfit in a smoky eye. Listen, don't be plugging aloe anymore until I pay us some money because, okay. So I just wrote, I made a little bit less. I think music and just getting your body moving, like, you know, putting on some music, dancer on your house, exercise. Like, you can just, you know, do a short, like, yoga flow if you're into that. I always love the Palatown.

It really gets me going. playing with your dog or any dog, a foster dog, whatever it is, like all the things that get those happy chemicals flowing. I want to find this thing, Rina.

I feel like you would love this because you're a neurologist. Oh, here it is. Okay. I screenshoted this from BuzzFeed in a BuzzFeed article, but it's happiness chemicals and how to hack them.

Okay? So there's four. There's dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Dopamine is the reward chemical and those are things like completing a task, doing self-care activities, eating food, celebrating little wins.

Oxytocin is the love hormone. So that could be playing with the dog, playing with the baby, holding hands, hugging your family, giving a compliment. Then there's serotonin. That's the mood stabilizer. You can meditate, run, sun exposure, walk in nature, swim, cycle, and then endorphin, the painkiller, laughter, exercise. Essential oils, but not from, not from pyramid scheme, watching comedy, dark chocolate exercising. I just like these old things. It was like how to hack those chemicals. This is incredible. Yeah. We'll put it on our Instagram. Yeah, we'll put on our Instagram. Those are kind of things to do, but I'm going to just quote Raina here with like doing something nice for your body. And I think that can do something that makes you feel sexy. I love that you brought up

what you wear. We had an episode with Lily and Charles recently. What was it called? Oh, glow up and show up. That was I think in the fall. Again, I'm not, and I realize not everybody has money to go on buy a brand new wardrobe. And I'm not even saying to do that, but just feeling good in what you're wearing. Like I just got these really great new jeans I love and some tank tops. I'm not wearing bras all summer, nips out. I wear page jeans and a free people tank top most days. And I just like feel good about myself. Again, the athlete or that you're walking around the city, just making sure that you feel good about your body and what you're wearing. Get some fresh highlights. Get a new lip gloss. Get a manny pettie. Get some fierce nails. Get new sandals. Then get a petty. And just whatever your self-care is, like something that can make you feel good. And like, of course, like a bikini wax.

Like for me. If I just get that fresh. sugaring Brazilian. Like, I just feel sexier. I feel freer. I'm not uncomfortable down there in my posse region. Like, I'm just, whether you have somebody you're doing it for or not, I think you should do this for yourself. You know, just little

things, if you're like, I haven't had sex in forever. It could be on the table with this guy or whatever. Go get a bikin wax or not. You know, but just treat yourself to something and just have a nurse your body. Honestly, like, hot tip, nothing makes me feel sexier than a fresh manicure. I have these, like, super long, pointy, red nails and like I just, it's like my thing. I always have them. It makes me feel so sexy. Every

time I touch my face, I pick up a drink. I pick up my fork. Like you're just looking at them thinking like, damn, our nails look fly. Like, I wonder what those look like scratched on my back. You know, and I want to back up to what you said about like all the chemicals in your brain. These are real things. Like being happy, it is floods of these type of things into your brain. And we were talking to Guy Wynch a while. And I forget if he said it on the show, but he definitely said it in his TED Talk about like when you're in a bad mood deciding to be your you're in a good mood. So when you're in a bad mood, you listen to like sad music and you walk around and cry. It's always stuck with me when I'm in a bad mood to turn on positive music because I'm like,

why am I like leaning into this like shitty thing that I feel with with music that makes me feel worse? Positive music, like even if you do not want to do it, like just turn on some like bad bitch Lizzo. And it always makes me feel better to choose to be in a better headspace. Yeah, and I love that one of those things said to give a compliment. You know what I mean? And like I had a friend recently, I'll say it was. It was Kate Nichols, who she was on our podcast last summer. And she just sent me like a text out of the blue not that long ago was just, you know, really complimentary.

I think you're so wonderful. And I just made my day. So do that for somebody now. I don't know what this has to do with dating. But again, it's just those like happy chemicals. And I just think you, let's use each other as friends, as women. Like make a pact with a girlfriend. Like you guys have a, you have a first day with somebody.

You're going to face time each other. You're going to like do a little fashion show what you're wearing or you're going to get together beforehand and play some sweetie and share a glass of wine, don't get too drunk, or you're going to just get together and gas each other up, or, you know, if you're going out with a guy or you're just going out of the town or whatever it is and you just take that selfie in the mirror and you send it to your group chat, they're going to build you up. Yeah, I don't know. I'll just be out here gassing each other up. You said I don't know what has to do with dating. It has everything to do with that because if I'm in a good headspace, I'm a better date. I'm more fun. I'm more

positive and I want to date more. And also, if you got dating should be fun. The app should be fun. meeting people should be fun. If you do not feel like dating, don't date. Like, I was talking, my dad's recently divorced. Thank God. And I was on the phone with him last night. He was talking to me about how he like had had a date. And she canceled last minute. He was like, I felt this like sigh of relief. And I was like, just because you think you should date doesn't mean you should date. Like if it's not fun, if you're not going to enjoy this, don't do it. So if you're like, it's been a long ass pandemic. I want to focus on me. I want to travel. I want to get my fucking career right, my job right. I want to, whatever does you want to do, don't date if you don't play fucking dating it should be fun a hundred percent like if you don't want to be

bothered then stay unbothered queen like i'm i'm just it has not been at the top of my priority list just right now like i have this new dog i have i don't know fucking 27 stand-up shows in june you know like i just like i just keep committing to more we have new stuff we have uh we're making big moves in our career like we've new things we're working on like i'm open to it for sure and like if somebody piques my interest, I'll shoot my shot. You know, I'm going to take the advice that I'm giving out here today, but I don't really have anybody that's on my mind right now in that way. And I'm happy and I'm just living life. And I'm not going to stress myself out about it 100%. It's like the quote, dating should be fun. It really should be. I don't want to be bothered.

Don't be bothered. And like, be the kind of person that somebody would want to date, you know? Like I think that so many people are out here like trying to fill this void in their life by relationship. And that's great. Do that. But you're saying like I'm doing all these things I'm out there in the world. I'm doing comedy. I'm adding all these things to my plate. You're going to travel so much this summer. That is somebody that I want to date. Somebody that has a lot going on. It's interesting. That's doing cool, fun shit. That's not trying to fill a hole in their life with me in any way. I want them to fill my holes. But you brought this up a little bit ago and so many people have brought this up.

So I do want to touch on it. And like people just like talking about breaking out of dry spells. Because so many people said to us, like, I haven't fucked in like six months, eight months, 12 months. I'll figure it out. Trust me. Like it is like, it's like ratting a bite. Not how I know how to ride a bike, but I just, I think so many people are going through a dry spell, like you'll remember how to do it when it comes. Like, you don't owe anybody information about the last time you had sex. Who fucking cares?

And you, and maybe you don't feel confident about your body. People are with you because they want to be with you. You should feel good about your body, feel comfortable in your skin. If you don't do things to feel good, like you said, get a wax, get a manicure, beef up your wardrobe, whatever. But, like, this idea of, like, being scared to, like, fuck because you've been in a dry spell or that you're somehow, like, less valuable because you've been in a dry spell. Who cares?

100% cosign. Also, just don't fuck anybody if you don't want to fuck them. I always think back to, how many episodes are we going to reference? I always think back to Nikki Glazer's first episode with us, what turns you on in fall, winter 2018, of her being like,

I'm not having sex with somebody until I'm so juiced up to do it. And the thing is, is like, if you are in a situation with somebody and you're making out with them and you're getting turned on, they're like touching you, they're kissing you,

and you're juiced up, you're ready to fuck, then you should fuck if you want to. But like, otherwise don't. You know, like, because the second that you get all horned up and ready to go, your body's going to know what to do. Like, we say this all the time. That, I don't know her. You know, like, that girl that's all turned on,

I don't know her, but you figure it out as soon as you start doing it is just like riding a bike. But, like, maybe tell yourself, like, you don't get to fuck me until I do feel that way. You know what I mean? Like, don't go into a situation. I'm just telling you, I can't speak your everybody. What I'm thinking is that most of you, ladies, like, you're in your head right now because you're not in that turned on headspace, right?

So, like, if you're in a place with the guy, you start making out and you feel uncomfortable and you're like, I haven't done this in a while, it's not the right time. Wait until a guy gets you so ready to go that you are going to want to do it and you will figure out how to do it. Like, we don't lose it, you know, like, it's not used it or you lose it. I trust me. Because your girl's been in some spells. We all have. And it's just like, now you know that you've waited so long. have sex and you know that you are just doing a okay and you're fine, you can wait another

couple minutes. Like, you are a couple dates, you know, like have sex when you feel like it, when it feels right. But if you've been in a dry spell for a while and you're like, I'm going to break it for this fucking guy, don't. Yeah. And I did that. I'll be honest. Like, I'm not, I make mistakes and I, I slept with a guy that I just kind of wish I hadn't. And I feel like my mindset was, this was at the end of 2020. This was like the last day of 2020. You know, was like the 30th. I don't know. It was just the opportunity was there. I was turned on. We were making out. I was like into it. But like I just didn't, you know, I never talked to him again. And I felt like my mindset was like, I want to get laid because it's been so long. Like,

I don't want to close out the year with only having slept with like this one person before the pandemic. You know what I mean? Because we were in a pandemic. Like I did. You, you know, you got it in, but I hadn't slept with somebody since the person I dated before it all, before COVID. So I don't want to end the year with that being my only lay. So I kind of kind of had these weird things happening in my mind. Of course, I'd been drinking. I wasn't drunk by any stretch. I had a few glasses of wine. But I think I was thinking of it in a weird way of like, I want to get it in. Who knows the next time that I'll actually kind of be with a guy that I'm kind of into. And I guess looking back, I wasn't 100% into it. And I just like wish I didn't really do it.

So don't let back at the best of you too. You know, go out with somebody, make out with them, feel the situation out. And if you want to sleep with them 100%, do it. But if not, like, don't think to yourself, like, it's been so long, I got to get penetrated. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't think you made any decisions that I wouldn't have made or anybody else wouldn't have made. You had a fun time. You had a fun date.

You were like, this is a good time. I mean, he acted like an asshole. Yeah. I think he's fucking sucks. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Yeah. It's just, you know, we've all been through it. Don't make anybody make you feel bad about yourself.

Don't feel bad about your body or like maybe I don't know how to do this. And if you're in the middle of a dry spell and you don't want to have sex with somebody, keep going with the dry spell. Yeah. Like, you're not somehow less valuable because there isn't a bunch of dicks up in you. Honestly, all the sex. had this year and I wasn't out here like fucking a million people but like I could take it or leave it. Like I've fucked a bunch of people this year like my fucking neighbor and it's just like I don't

my life isn't any better for having done it. Why? Because I got a dick up inside of me for like a minute. Like I just, it wasn't that much fun. I didn't really like a lot of the people I slept with this year. I mean, I like them in the moment. But like I didn't the sex I'm having now is somebody that I care about a lot that cares about me that's like can be dirtier and more meaningful. Like I'll take that all day and I will forego sex for a year to have that kind of sex. Yeah, for sure. And if you get out there and you have a bad date, you get rejected by somebody, you get ghosted, you know, something embarrassing happens.

Like, then you have the story. You get to, like, laugh about it with your girlfriends. You get to go to brunch. You get to cry about it with your girlfriends. Like, this is just how life goes. You know, we all, that happens to the best of us. Like, it's just, we built this podcast on, like, insane dating stories, you know, like, go out and laugh out with your girlfriends and, you know, on to the next.

Like, if you, I don't know, if you shoot your shot and you completely, completely missed the rim. I don't know. Email us. Tell us about it. Maybe we'll do a segment on it. You know, like, just so we can normalize that like everybody fucks up and gets rejected and gets ghosted and it's just kind of the way of the world. So don't even worry about it. You will literally survive. Ashley and I have been through, I mean, that's why you started the podcast. We went through the most devastating breakups on Earth. We're fine. We're here to talk about it, you know? Exactly. All right. Well, I was really excited to do this episode with you. I think that it is going to be shock girl summer, waxed and vax. Guys, get back out there. We know that you're going to. And we're going to wrap up with your summer goals. Listen, a lot of these were, like, really inspiring. We did this question slide on our Instagram.

A lot of us is very inspiring about, like, careers and friendship and family. We're going to focus on a lot of sex stuff for this. Which, yes, thank you guys for sharing your truths of us. We are love that you guys are living your best lives. Obviously. People want new careers, move to new city, girls trips, travel more. Fuck a lot of people say yes to everything. But you guys submitted such funny stuff for summer goals.

Do you want to kick it off? Sure. Okay. Summer goals 2021, Shock Girl Summer, explore my bisexuality because I realize during the pandemic I'm ready to get into it,

go off, get engaged, good luck with that, make out with a random guy, make him buy me drinks, never talk to him again. Yes, love it. Sex and friends, not at the same time,

not to be bothered by the actions of men, someone better spit in my mouth. I feel that. And I want to see the world, baby. So much traveling. We can't wait to see where you guys go. show off this body I worked so hard for during lockdown

travel with my boyfriend who I started dating during COVID like who is he I feel that I feel that we need to do another we need to do a reboot of the travel episode because that was like the third episode we ever did so much fun traveling with somebody um I think it was Jared Freed did this meme and he was like there's legitimately couples that have been together for a year at this point that have never seen their partner get drunk at a bar because of like COVID or seen their partner in an airport yeah I I mean, that's really dukey. What if you were dating somebody?

Your first trip, and then they're like, we got to go to the airport four hours before. No, my whole body feels like I'm getting uncomfortable. And then they're like, and we're not going to sit in the sky club. I just like to go. I just want to go. I don't believe in checking bags. I pack as little as possible because I want to just take it on the plane.

No. Okay. Would love a low-maintenance fling that goes nowhere. Yeah, if you want that too, go off. Start carrying emergency. underwear and condoms in my purse. I can't relate. I don't wear underwear. We're used condoms. Constant penetration

and telling my boss to fuck off. Catch flights, both planes and alcohol and not feelings. And then this girl said, recently divorced from my 10-year vanilla marriage ready for a United Nations sex tour. Okay. Go off with that pussy. And like the United Nations,

there's a big office in New York. You should just go to stay outside. See what you like. Okay. Turn my eye. into Thirst Trap City. Yes, feel yourself. Enjoy a 10-day vacation. Fix up my house. Figure out what direction. I want my career to go. Abbs and money. I love that. Ab's money. Ab's a money. Stame of my mixed tape. I want to peg my boyfriend. Let's go, ladies, all caps. I want to get completely railed. Also see my grandma. That's my favorite one. I want to get completely railed. Also see my

grandma. Getting men to fly here and stay the weekends with me, then get the fuck out. Got two booking already. Like, she's an Airbnb. I know. Like, her pussy is an Airbnb. She's like, don't forget to rate it. That's funny. Anal and expanding on my witchcraft practices. Oh, my God. I love these ones to take a turn.

Spoil and date my fucking self. We got tons of those people that are just excited to do things for themselves. Make money, get tan, give better BJs. Take men out to dinner at Paige's pussy. Her name is Paige. Oh, my God. It took me a second because I read just take people,

take men out for dinner at Page's Pussy, and I was like, what does that mean? And then I saw what her name was. I love it. Um, suck a dick, be an absolute savage and fall back in love with my life. Oh, I love it. You love that, girls. Whether, whether you want to be in a relationship, not be in a relationship, fuck, don't want to think about relationships at all. Travel, see your friends, change your career. We're just really excited for you guys and feels like we're finally, like, coming out of this. 50% of the American population is vaccinated. I know. I'll tell you one thing. Fuck the other 50%. If you are going to comment on POTUS's Instagram

and you have a verified account so it rises to the top and you're going to write something like Go Off King, which is what I did, you better be prepared for the comments. I don't care because I'm not going to read them. I literally don't care. I drop a comment and then I'm out.

But Joe Biden on the POTUS account posted like 50% of Americans are vaccinated. I wrote Go Off King and people just came for me. Like, who are you people? I didn't ever follow Donald Trump. I wasn't following him. I wasn't trolling him. I don't know what he ever posted on Instagram.

We're all these anti-vaxer Trump people trolling Joe Biden's Instagram account and trolling me. How, why are you so bored? I have the same thing happening when I commented on Jill Biden's outfit one day because she had a matching dress with her mask. And so I just like that looks great. So many people came for me. So I'd like to say, hear it again. Joe Biden, go off king. Half of us are vaccinated.

We're ready for a great summer. And, you know, I realize, too, I want to recognize that not everybody in the world is at our level right now. I know Canadians were still locked down. Maybe still are. I'm not totally sure. I usually just follow Katynette and see what's going on in Canada. But we feel for you guys, your time is coming. Maybe it'll be kind of like a late, shock girl summer, early fall for you.

I don't know. But I just want to recognize that because I think that while we in this country did not crush the pandemic by any stretch, we did not do a great job. And, you know, there was a ton of loss. We have done great with the vaccine. Well, for the most part. So we feel like we're getting back to normal. And I know that's not the case everywhere. So for those of you who don't have the luxuries that we have right now, your time will come. And then you can cue this episode up then. Yep. Go sign. All right. Okay. Well, guys, get back out there. Enjoy your summer. We will see you next week with Chelsea fucking handler. Oh, my God. Okay. And you guys know where to find us. Girls got to eapodcast.com. Gottoeee Podcast on Instagram. I am Ash Hess on Instagram. Raina is reina.

dot Greenberg, girls underscore got to eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash girls got to eat. And we'll see you next week. Have a great week, guys. Bye.