Girls Gotta Eat - Should Guys in Relationships Be On Instagram?

Episode Date: June 29, 2026

We are discussing guys and their social media behavior – How should men in committed relationships be using Instagram? Should they clean up their following when they get into a relationship? What so...cial media engagement is harmless and what crosses the line? – inspired by Ali Kolbert’s viral Subway Take. We are sharing our own thoughts and experiences and the results of surveying our audience, plus we break down two listener emails about bikini pics and a shady brother. Before we get into the topic, we’re previewing our trip to France, sharing a travel/points hack to book international business class, and as it’s the last full episode in the LA studio, we are taking a trip down memory lane and reminiscing on all our previous recording locations. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Article: Get $50 off your first order of $100 or more at https://article.com/gge. Better Help: Get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/gge. FP Movement: Go to http://fpmovement.com to shop their full line of activewear and workout gear. Resort Pass: Get $20 off your first booking of $100 or more at https://resortpass.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Your stance on this statement. Men in committed relationships don't need Instagram outside of work. This podcast is a Dear Media Production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. You know, I don't feel things about a lot of things until I'm in the moment immediately.
Starting point is 00:00:34 This is the last recording that we're going to do in this studio. And this is not the last one you'll see in this studio. Actually, you'll see fucked it up. No, I really wish this was the last one. on you know i'm like so big on that kind of sentimental things it's big this we're going to talk about a bunch of studio stuff today but you will see one more interview with stasi because we had to hold it till when her show comes out so that will be the final time you'll see it we just want to be transparent we don't want to lie to you guys but this is last time you and i are going to be alone and doing an intro
Starting point is 00:01:06 and a full episode in the studio but like we've moved studios a lot over the years which we go where you know it's not like our only studio we ever i feel less sentimental Oh, okay, great. Well, we will rank them. Yeah. And, you know, just maybe watch it on YouTube and see two baseball girlies roughing their teams. Just a couple of baseball girlies.
Starting point is 00:01:26 All right, well, we'll think our part of us and we'll just get into it. Thank you to article. Get at $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com slash gge. And Rocket Money, reach your financial goals faster at rocketmoney.com slash g-e. And this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, find support in therapy. Get 10% off at betterhelp. dot com slash g g e and thank you to fp movement go to fp movement dot com to shop their full line of activeware and workout gear and thank you to resort pass the day is yours get $20 off your first
Starting point is 00:01:54 booking of $100 or more at resort pass dot com slash gge and this just reminded me that i meant to wear my brand new fp movement tank but it wouldn't have matched the hat because it's lime green i'm wearing full fp movement we'll tag team the read later i'm just i'm squatting in my house at this moment so i have like four pieces of clothing this is it not at this this moment that you guys hear this, you'll be fully moved in. Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually, I'll be moved in and we will be in the south of France. Bonjour. Catch me all over France. Bonjour. So we, yes, this is our vacation. And I have been to Nice once in high school. That's crazy. With your parents? No, we took it for my French class. So I took five years of French,
Starting point is 00:02:41 one in college. But we only had French and Spanish in my school. And most people took Spanish. There was only one French teacher. I loved her. Our family knew her. And I was like, I want to have her all four years and go to France. Because I knew that the French kids went to France for them mostly. And the Spanish kids never really took trips. And like that was my reason for not taking the more practical language was to go. You and I have very funny, like, random things in common. Because like my school only had Spanish and French. No one really took French. I took French all four years. I took one. year in college, that's it. I just like the teacher. I was just like, I think this is better. I want to do this. We just have like weird stuff in common. But you guys didn't go. It wasn't
Starting point is 00:03:18 like a trip. Taylor Aldenice High School. No. I mean, they were like, take a trip to the Wendy's down the street. Raina, don't get it twisted. We didn't have some kind of fancy high school. I think your high school was nice to the mind. It just was Mrs. Conlon. Shout out, Madame Conlon. She just wanted to go when her husband would go. He was the gym teacher. So they would go and shop her on the trip. And it was my best guy friend Caleb, who obviously you met the wedding. You sat with him with the wedding. And like 10 of us maybe. And, and We paid for it. Like it was only the people that the school didn't pay.
Starting point is 00:03:45 It was like an opportunity. And it was incredible because we went to Paris and Nice and Monaco for the day. And then Florence, Venice, Rome. It was an incredible trip for a senior high school. This is a co-ed trip to Europe with a 40 teenagers and the drinking age is not existing. That's crazy. With the coolest teachers in the town. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:04:07 And we'd stayed at one place. I remember one Sophie Tell that was nice. and then the rest were more hostile vibes. Like they weren't nice, but they were nice enough. And yeah, I did make out with one kid that was on another trip from another school. We kind of were with some other kids at one point. Horny kids will find each other in Europe. And that was the first time I was in Italy.
Starting point is 00:04:24 And then I went once more just a few years later with my family. So I've been Italy in so long. And I have these memories and you're always telling me like, sis, it will not be like that. Like I was there when like you could just walk up to the Trevi Fountain. There was no social media, obviously. Like it felt so easy to get around and do everything. no one's doing anything for social media. And so those are my memories of Italy.
Starting point is 00:04:45 And I feel like that's almost why I'm hesitant to go back. I mean, it's wonderful. It's always going to be overrun in like July and August. It's not like a hot take anymore. Like the TikTokification of everything has made everything miserable and everything's just to take photos and the lines are so long. But like you're still in Italy. I know.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I know. I know. I know. It's just kind of like I have these memories of Rome that are really specific and like really vivid and you're like, it's not going to be like that. It's not going to be like that. But I would. don't go and I love it and I love food and I love a major city and I always say every year
Starting point is 00:05:15 when people ask us like solo travel tips I say go to the major cities and that's what you'll enjoy yeah like being alone and if you want to be alone like Rome of course okay so what is your experience with the south of France prior prior to this prior to where we are right now I went to niece and Monaco and can calm I went alone it's not sad need alone well I mean you guys if you've been a long time listener my when my fiancee left me I was like oh I've never been anywhere. I was like 28 and I was just like I'm going to go everywhere. And I planned like maybe three back to back trips. They were all like two weeks long and I just hit like every city in Europe alone. I've been everywhere alone in my like late 20s. I stayed in hostels and like there was early days
Starting point is 00:05:56 of Airbnb's. They're a little sketchy and kind of scary and I was just like this is what I can be really early days. I was like this is sketchy but I can't afford anything else. Yeah. So that's my experience. But it was also like such a dream like early days of Airbnb you're like what is this? But I like going back to places now as an adult with, I mean, the internet as it is today. You were saying yesterday, how did people plan trips without TikTok and AI? Like the scrappiness with which I had to like cross-reference 15 websites. And then I'd go and like you didn't have Wi-Fi. Why didn't exist?
Starting point is 00:06:26 So like you could have a cell phone plan. It was like $100 for international data every day or you just had to like hope for the best. Yeah. I have really taken the reins on this trip. And I am so dialed in and I have all these methods and I have like multiple devices. and I do so much with TikTok. Like I will search so, so much. But then I'm Googling stuff and then I have my maps
Starting point is 00:06:47 to map everything out and then see where they're like the train stations we need or the airports. And I've just had a lot of fun. You have been flooding my, I mean, thank God, I don't have the capacity for it right now. No, it doesn't annoy me. I love it. And like, you know, I say, I will DJ a whole trip.
Starting point is 00:07:01 I planned our whole trip to Jackson Hole. I love being in charge. I planned up Raina Palooza. I will plan a whole trip if I, but like, I don't really have the time right now because I'm moving. And like, I trust you. I trust Megan, you like nice fancy things, and so do I. And like the stuff you plan I'll like. So I just, I say it all the time. If you don't plan it, you don't get to complain.
Starting point is 00:07:18 So if you sit back, you got to just, you got to do what other people planned. And I trust you, Megan. Thank you. I mean, it's been fun. Like I just, when I lock in, I'm like the hotel's booked, the Airbnb is booked, the restaurants are booked. Like, we can change if you guys don't like it. He's, but like I made some decisions. That's fine. I don't want to do it really. I really don't have the capacity right now. I don't want to do it. Somebody else that I trust is doing it. I will be happy with the outcome. No, I think you're going to be really happy. Yeah, I'll be really happy.
Starting point is 00:07:44 And also, like, I think people get in their heads like, but I go on this group trip, do I have to do every single thing? No, you don't have to. If there's like one dinner I, for some weird ass reason, don't want to go to, I could sit it out. I'm an adult, but I think I'm going to like everything. Yeah. And so follow along.
Starting point is 00:07:58 We will have been there for a few days now. And I'm flying directly. Well, directly, I'm going to be in New York, but then flying to knees. So we're going to start there and then go to San Trape, do a day in can, and then go back to. to Nice, sort of, this town called Es, this medieval castle town, and then fly back out of Nice. And we really want to try to go
Starting point is 00:08:18 to the resort where they filmed White Lotus Season 4. It looks insane. Everything looks insane. I thought maybe we could spend a night there, but it's totally books. The restaurants are booked. Like, we're going to try our hardest to get up there. And then another thing that I'm so excited to do, the winery, the Whispering Angel winery. Rana, I feel like I'm like starstruck by it. that fuels our life
Starting point is 00:08:39 Whispered Angel, the Mecca. It fuels my hangovers. The winery with Whispering Angel. I'm like a shaky thinking about. Because I love a wine tasting. You don't really care. I don't really like wine tasting. To me, I've like, you've done three,
Starting point is 00:08:53 you've done all of them. I've done Napa and Italy and France. I've done them all. But like, you're so excited. This is the most like white girl named Ashley thing that you could do in France. No, but it's still like an amazing rose winery. It's not like some...
Starting point is 00:09:09 It's just, it's a beautiful winery regardless. Regardless. I don't care. Cote de Sclan. Also, this is new. You guys are finding out as I'm finding out what we're doing on this trip. So I will never do a brewery tour. I hate a distillery situation, like a tour.
Starting point is 00:09:25 I hate those two things. And I also drink beer and liquor, but I love a wine taste and experience no matter what. You and I went to Guinness in Ireland. we've done the top, top, top of brewery tours. I'm good. We've done it. I cannot listen to people talk about beer or liquor. Like they put some sort of distillery liquor thing
Starting point is 00:09:44 like a cocktail making class on our Singapore itinerary. I was like, nope. But you like to listen to people talk about making wine or you just find it more relaxing. I like to sit and drink while people talk. I am sort of paying attention. Okay, because breweries are indoors and winters are outdoors. And also, I feel like a brewery tour, you're always on foot.
Starting point is 00:10:03 I'm like, this is giving like, boring field trip from middle school. No matter what winery you're at, you will like it. It's just not the vibe. I know. I can go to a brewery and hang out and like I can just look at the fucking machines and the hops on my own. I don't need to hear about it.
Starting point is 00:10:18 If someone starts talking about hops, I want to. It's so boring. I'm out. Do you remember two years ago when my pregnant sister-in-law insisted that me and my brother and her go to a winery door where in Italy? Oh, yeah. And she was like, I planned a whole day. we're going to go to this winery. I was like, aren't you so pregnant? She was like, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:10:38 We're going to go. Like, I love it so much. Like, I remember one time, do you love it pregnant? That's how married to the game. She hits. Of course not. I would hate it pregnant. I think she's sipped on some stuff. Yes. And honest, my name is perfect. Who cares? But I'm really excited about it. And I did just want to share one travel hack. And also let you guys know that next Monday will be off, which we always are around the fourth, the Monday around the fourth. And then we will be back the following Monday, the 13th, and we will recap this trip. And we're going to do a travel episode. So traveling with partners, you guys have a lot of questions left over from when I did the episode with Shishonk that I really wanted to talk about with Raina and give advice,
Starting point is 00:11:17 like more in the dating area. He wasn't like really wanting to give advice on those types of things. Like lots of stuff that you guys asked and also traveling with friends and we'll recap our trip and all that stuff. But I just wanted to share like one hack that I'll call back to him. We do this episode. But about using the points and getting these flights, like I've always felt this is a real blind spot for me and when we've had brian kelly on and we've had tory dunlap on i'm like hanging on every word and it's still been really hard for me to like digest how to do this and all tory dunlap post her first 100k is her handle is like i'm in lay flat business for 40 bucks because i used points and she's always like you know message or leave a comment i'll tell you what card to get
Starting point is 00:11:54 and i digest all this information but i've never quite done this where you transfer the points to a a different airline because her and Brian Kelly are always talking about Air France. KLM is one of the best programs to transfer your points from like your chase or your Amex. So I transferred my points from my Chase Reserve to Flying Blue, which I'm squawking you through how to do it too. Actually, when we finish this up, I will pack the studio up if you do this on my computer. Okay, I'll try. But it's interesting how it works. So you need to first go on and see how many miles points the flight you want is, which could change. You hope it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:12:35 But basically Air France all day, there's like a few that have deals. Like one might be 600,000, 900,000. And then there's one that's like 200,000. So the one that I wanted was 181,000. That's great for a lay flat. That's like a $9,000 flight for basically like 1,500, 1,800 in points, basically. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:12:53 So I was like, that's what I want. And I'm messaging with Tori, just like, am I doing this right? I didn't want to bother her. I was like, you don't have to answer me. I know you're busy and she was like, no, I'm happy to help. And I'm like, I'm transferring from Chase to Air France. She's like, yeah. So find your flight and then go transfer.
Starting point is 00:13:06 So then I go into Chase, transfer to Flying Blue their program. You find your travel. You find your travel partners and you transfer. This is irreversible. So you're transferring points and it could take a minute. It can take up to seven days. Mine was immediate. Literally, I refreshed and they were there in my Flying Blue account.
Starting point is 00:13:23 It can't take 24 to 48 hours or up to seven days. I can't imagine that happening. But the flight prices will change. The flight could change. Mine was immediate. They were there in my flying blue. So then I booked that flight. But what if the amount of miles changes? And I'm telling her this and I'm trying to comprehend it. She goes, yeah, that's the fun of it. Like sarcastically. Like it's a gamble. Uh-huh. But this is how I'm getting a flight that would be $8 to $10,000 for a business class flight to France for 180,000 miles, which is still a ton.
Starting point is 00:13:58 but I've accumulated a ton. And then I'm flying back on a premium economy and I did the same thing and booked my premium economy for 100,000 points, which is still pretty good. That's only about a thousand bucks in points if you really kind of think about like a dollar amount. This is a blind spot for me.
Starting point is 00:14:19 It is for me too. And then I realize like, oh, okay, you're taking a little bit of a risk here, which may turn people off. Like if you transfer those points and for whatever reason it took a while, And then you don't have enough. And you're like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:14:31 So do you transfer more than you need? But then it's irreversible. So then you just have them sitting in there. When I saw they transferred immediately, I was like, what a rush. I booked it. I was like, I'm so proud of myself. Like you see and hear all these people talking about doing this and I've just never done. I use points all the time.
Starting point is 00:14:46 But like transferring what they talk about it, there are some of these airlines where you really get the best bang for your buck. And that's how you fly business to Europe. Wow. All right. We're going to do this as soon as for now. Okay. So we're going to try to transfer from brain as AMX.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Follows for more tips. Our share-in-M-X. Two flying blue and then get you the same flight, provided it's still the same amount of miles. Listen, just stay tuned. People are going to be like, I don't know. I saw her in a story a couple days ago. She was an economy.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Well, I'm flying from New York. I guess you are too. So I was like, it doesn't matter to me as much. But, yeah. So I'm going to go to New York a few days before. And it's a seven-hour flight to Paris. It's not that bad. And then two moreish hours, an hour and a half to Nice.
Starting point is 00:15:27 but the one flying back is longer for me to go to LAX, but I'm in premium economy and I don't really need to sleep on that time of day. Like to me, it's the matter of if I really need to sleep is that's where it's like, I really want to do whatever it takes to have a lay flat. Anyway, these are how to do it. You guys follow again,
Starting point is 00:15:46 the points guy, of course, and Tori Dunlap, her first 100K. And I think they do this really well. But it's like even as much as they explain it, you're still sometimes like, I don't get it. And like you're not alone.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Okay, good. I did it, you're going to do it. No, you did it and you're going to do it again. I'm not doing this. That sounds hard. I have to tell you something funny. We can transition into the studio, but I have this very funny conversation with Brittany yesterday, who's like our very good friend.
Starting point is 00:16:11 And she was talking to me about podcasting and we're like voice coming back and forth. And she goes, you are so lucky. I just like wish I had Ashley. And I was like, yeah, I know. It's great. I have a partner in life to like do business with. That's great. And she goes, no, I just mean, like, you just get to like,
Starting point is 00:16:27 do nothing. You just walk into the studio. You just show up and it's done. And I was like, what? And she goes, yeah, you just show up to the podcast. She don't do anything. And I was like, I'm sorry. Who told you this? Not me? And I go, why did you just say that sentence? She goes, you said that you don't, you just show up. And I said, no, I said I show up for the live shows.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Okay. I've never said that I just show up to the studio. And Ashley's never told you that. And she goes, all this time, I literally thought you just, walked in the door, sat down. Ashley had booked a guest, written the outlines, playing the episodes, Scott did all set up. She's like, I've been so jealous of you.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I was like, what do you think I do all day? No, like, Rina just doesn't have a job. You're like, we split the money, but Ashley just, you're my stay-at-home business partner. I was like, we record like two days a week. What do you think I do the rest of my time? We have like a secret setup. I do all the work and Rana like does my laundry
Starting point is 00:17:27 cleans my house. I just, I think it's so funny to me. This has been like a very good friend of ours for many years. That's her view of me and you, by the way, that you also allow that to happen, that you're like, you don't just do all of it. But I, that's because I'm like a control freak. She probably thinks that. But yeah, I mean, no, you do just show up to the live shows.
Starting point is 00:17:47 But you, well, we also have help. Like, we've always had like a tour manager and manager. No, we always have not. For years we did it, right? I've just me and you out there. the live shows i really i don't even know who she books i don't know what it costs i really ashley i'll let her cook i don't i don't need to ask questions i don't know what it costs either no i have a general idea but no so i haven't asked what the live shows cost in seven years i don't
Starting point is 00:18:16 know like it's worth it i just whatever that's not of my business the studio i have always done like the tech the and i still do like signing up the sound and the cameras for the most part adjusting them and stuff, but you have managed really the studio setup. Like if we need people to come in here and help with the lights and like you may, it's really down the middle. Like you do more work on the front end of all these studios that we've moved around, which we'll talk about today. And then I'm usually kind of like do the finishing touches, but you come in here and kind of get set up before I'm even here. And then I do my stuff. I'm the front end guy. You're the back end guy. Well, yeah. I do all the pre-production on
Starting point is 00:18:53 the episodes. You do the post-production. Plan the episodes and then I get in there. and get her done. I just, it's so funny. Like, I don't know what people think we, that I do all day. And like a couple days on tour, like the last couple stops. I had like, you just love to move. I just love to do manual labor. I just love admin and moving.
Starting point is 00:19:11 I am always moving. And returning stuff. I do. Guys, I'm out here carrying this company in my back and rain is just returning packages. And they're not even mine. This morning, she was like, I'm planning this like trip. Here's like all these links to these hotels and these dinners. And I was like, I'm at Staples buying boxes.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Yeah. to go pack up the studio. I think people do just think that sometimes we just show. I think a lot of people the podcast do just show up. I think they just walk in the door and show up and they walk out the door and that's all they do. And that's great for a lot of people. This is our full-time job. I will say, you know, we've gone back and forth throughout the years of having our own space and doing it all ourselves. And then we've had different people. We had Vela, we had Tessa. And then Anna, when we're in New York, will come in and help set up as opposed to going in a studio, whether we're at Dear Media or Melrose, we've been at WTF, we've used them all and having it just be all set up, ready to go.
Starting point is 00:20:06 They send the files afterwards. Like we really do just have to sit down and talk. And we've had issues here and there where we've really had to intervene. But for the most part, we don't have to set it all up. And it's nice. There's pros and cons to both. The way that I'm feeling right now is, never say never
Starting point is 00:20:24 I don't know that we're going to do this again there's good and bad because like I was working with our studio in New York and I was like can I move this date to this date? They were like yeah and they were like no people have booked this and I was like can I have this date and they're like you can have this date but it has to be early in the morning like yeah like we can walk in this door
Starting point is 00:20:43 anytime we want there's flexibility so it's really been like tough deciding like which is which because like Melrose too like once the times are gone they're just gone I guess that's that's rainist job is working stuff like that. So that is a pain in the ass because you're trying to get a guest and the studio. And luckily there's so many options, especially in New York and we love Melrose and the WTF has new studios. Like we can find a place, but that's annoying too. Well, then I don't have a lot of flexibility with the guests. Like I never know what to do first, book the guest first or
Starting point is 00:21:10 the studio first or both the studio. You guys get it in scheduling. But like, yeah, we know as much flexibility. And we've had the studios have been in your house, in my house, in apartments we've rented in this office space, at other people's studios. I mean, there's pros and counts to all of it. If you got you're thinking of starting your own podcast. Yeah. And when we had our studio in Raina's garage and it flooded. Oh my God. I was like, I don't want to do this again. I don't want to rebuild. And you were like, I was like, we should rebuild. And I'm so glad you did. That was when we really took it seriously. And we had someone design the lighting and the look. And it looks so much more professional. It leveled us up. We started dressing nicer. Like the.
Starting point is 00:21:50 studio set the bar. And I'm really glad you did that. And then this studio is our first, like, office space. I mean, we're in this kind of office park. It's cooler than that. And we pay rent on this as a commercial space. And it just felt like really legitimate. But, you know, another thing, too, is like, I don't know. You and I will come in here and we'll just procrastinate and we'll talk and we'll talk shit. And it's like, we don't waste time. But I was thinking about it. Like, I'd rather just like go to dinner with you than like come in here and talk shit for two hours. And then the work day is so far behind. So that's a nice part of going to a place where we are on a time schedule, it like rains us in. No, I, that when somebody asks me, like, do I like recording at somebody
Starting point is 00:22:29 else's studio, the first thing I say is like, we have to show up on time. Yeah. And we have to just get into it. And then that's it. And like here, you and I, there's days we get here at 11 and we leave at five. And we've recorded two episodes, but they didn't need to take six hours. Yeah. So I don't know. If you guys, I'm sure you really like this look. And we do too. And it's really special and different and not everybody does it and we're not knocking whatever other podcasts want to do. We really saw a few shows early on that built their own studio and really like bet on themselves and spent money to do it and rent space and that is what inspired us to do that, but not a lot. We're doing it. And we were like, you know what? Let's do that. And that was
Starting point is 00:23:10 the motivation for the first one we had. And it'll be a nice break to not have to do it. And then we'll think about it. But I kind of wanted to walk through them, Raina, all the studios. And this will be fun for you. Can you list all of them? For you OGs. Do you write them out? Yeah. And a few memories from both. Okay. I wonder if you forgot any. I mean, I'm sure I've forgotten some that were just like one-offs and stuff. But okay, let's go through it. So we started in my old apartment in the East Village. I lived in a building that really was inhabitable. There was caution tape on every other door on my floor. I was the only person that lived on my floor. I probably shouldn't have legally been allowed to live there. I did withhold my rent for a while.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I was able to. It was like this slumlord who was being sued. They went bankrupt. It was a disaster. But I was like, this is a true one bedroom and I'm that bitch. And I look back and thought that apartment was really something. And I like, looking back now, I'm like, it was so shitty. That was like the wild west of podcasting. I mean, the amount of people that we just like invited into your home that are like TV stars, New York Times bestsellers, best-selling comedians, people that have Netflix specials, Hulu specials, like the people that came and just sat on the floor. Just sat on the floor with Dewey, my dog at the time. And we started at Rain and I, like, at this high table that I bought off, I don't know, some Facebook marketplace shit.
Starting point is 00:24:30 Like, nothing in there was new. Everything was like IKEA or thrifted or whatever. Like, nothing was nice. And we would hunch over this one mic across from each other at the table. But then when we would have guests, we would sit on my IKEA couch. I love that couch. And I was just making notes of Chris DeStefano was there. Hannah Burner. That was the first time we recorded with her. Ari Sheffir, Mark Manson. Like, do you have any others that were like, this person's in my house? Dan Soder, who like was really big on Showtime at the time on billions and he has all these specials. But at the time, these people also weren't what they are now. But we still like
Starting point is 00:25:02 looked up to a lot of them and like eating Grinchman, who's the host of Top Chef in Canada. Like she came. But I just remember these moments like, we'd seen Chrissy D on the internet. but like I hadn't seen him in person and like he walked into my shitty apartment I was like holy shit he's so hot so horny I remember Hannah coming in she was all sweaty it was in June and she was like what the fuck like it was we became friends with her she came to your birthday like the week later it was just I just remember these moments and just people sitting on the floor with my dog like I I could cry thinking about it and then in the mix in that time was mouth media so if you guys remember coming you from mouth media that was this studio and
Starting point is 00:25:44 see that is probably no long. I don't know what they were trying to do over there, but they let us, they were great for the time being. They let us do whatever. We had a lot of people in there too. We had that guy who broke his dick, who then I decided to be in love with for a year.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Oh my God. Yes. I think of Katie Strino, our first female guest, Andrew Collin. Andrew Collin, we'd love. Lev. Noah Neiman. Jared freed and we lost the audio.
Starting point is 00:26:07 And I was like, I am not going to, I don't know if I'll ever recover. Shep Rose, drunk, so drunk with his publicist, like you won't tell me what to do Jared we did lose the audio for real but I also remember he shook a cup of ice coffee into the mic the whole time anyway and so it was kind of like a blessing and we brought
Starting point is 00:26:25 him back in and then we like knew him more or whatever but no one even took his shirt off remember in like front of a bunch of people like working in the office but yes we had crispy who was our fur crispy shorts who was from Jerry fuck Jerry media and if you guys remember they made one of the fire festival documentary. So we had him. We had Jeremy Jacobowitz. He was like one of my best friends. Jeremy. Those are a lot. I mean, you guys, we really, if you remember the Shep episode, Shep came on, Shep Rose came on. And that was such a big get for us at the time. And they had like a reunion that day. He'd been drinking all day. They shouldn't
Starting point is 00:27:00 let him come record a podcast. He'd been on a boat. His publicist texted me. Can you go get some beers for Shep? I was like, it's 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. And we've been waiting for hours for him to get off at Grand Banks or whatever they were. Wasted. And then we had that random like CBS studio where we had Nikki Glazer and Heather Meevman and Emma Willman. I thought of Nikki and Heather. I mean, I just can't believe it. Like, yes, it was this random studio. I forget how we got connected with them. But to have Nikki, like, in person, I was like, I can't believe this. I mean, she was someone I looked up so much in comedy. And Heather hadn't hardly done anything. I mean, she was big on social media,
Starting point is 00:27:33 but she didn't have her podcast or she wasn't touring. I don't even think she was like earlier days. And you just knew her from Atlanta and like, liked her content. And yeah. I mean, I just look at like, I don't know, it's just, it's really an honor to have met these people seven, eight years ago and to have watched their careers and become good friends with them and like watch them ascend to such like a high level. Like it's really, it's an honor to be like part of that journey. And I remember these early days with these people and like their podcasts would explode. Their books. Their specials would go crazy. People would start coming to their shows like comedians and they would like call us to thank us and say like, your audience has just like stormed my shows. And it's just to be a part of those people's journeys and watch them like. on the red carpet hosting the Emmys. Like, it's just, it's like an amazing treat for us. It really, really is. That's so special. Yeah, I mean, you're reminded of that all the time.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Like, I was messaging with Katie Sterino last night about something. And I'm just like, we just had her on. And we were so starstruck by some of these people. Like, I remember we only had guys on at first because we're like, we'll just give like a male perspective and we're two women. We're two girls. And then you were like, okay, I love this woman. She had been married to the fat Jewish.
Starting point is 00:28:40 And she was semi recently divorced. but also during her whole thing with her whole brand. And you were like, I'd love to have her on. And then we just like got her on. And then she was like so cool. We're like, I think she's like our friend now. Like these moments were just, I could cry. Like we made a lot of friends this way.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah, a lot. Like we're still very close with Mateo. And he was another one who were just like, he's so funny. We gotta have him on. And I mean, Hannah, like all of this is. It's crazy. And then we were my second apartment. And that was like my nicer upgraded apartment.
Starting point is 00:29:10 We recorded there up until COVID. That was like, fall of 2019. The weekend I moved in, we had Derek Path, who was on The Bachelor, and then he just, like, disappeared into the wilderness. Yeah. And I made some notes. I remember probably Andrew Schultz was the most famous person to be in that apartment. That apartment, yeah. And then Matthew Hussey. Osama was one I really remember in that apartment. And again, just like Dewey would be there. And then it was COVID. And then we came back. And that is when we decided to have our own first studio and that was an apartment in my building and we had a great
Starting point is 00:29:46 COVID deal and I was on the second floor we're like let's rent an apartment on the fourth floor and we did and that was the titty wallpaper and that was really like our first studio that felt like an office space too we launched vibes only in there of course and obviously Esther Perel was the main guest I think about coming there and Andrew Huberman and like our friends like Jenny and Emily Fedner and Deep D. I don't know. It's just like really special. I know.
Starting point is 00:30:13 I could like, we used to like take all those photos in there. We had all those polaroids of everybody. It really was so special. I feel sad if we like miss anybody. Oh. To shout them out. I mean,
Starting point is 00:30:20 there's just so many. Yeah. I'm just like what pops into my head when I remember those moments. And then, you know, we moved to L.A. And we were in Rang's garage. And then we mentioned we had to rebuild and we leveled up. And then we're here.
Starting point is 00:30:35 Just it's a nice walk down. And thank you guys for always like being here. you're on the ride and you know we always want to be looked at as people that like uplift other artists and promote their projects and to watch them ascend and to still be friends with them is really just it's some nice for us you know it's funny though because we all of those studios no one like knew what those looked like like we didn't have video so like I think people have seen my second apartment my nice apartment like we would cut clips and we I think we started video there no we no No, Jeremy texted me a photo this the other day because remember Jeremy came over and helped us set it up for the first time. And it was kind of recently like the anniversary of that five years ago or six years ago. We started full YouTube in 2022. Full YouTube. But we were doing. Yeah, we recorded full episodes. We would record episodes and just like for clips. I don't know what we were thinking. But it's just like I am thinking of like if we had full video back then in my first apartment like on that IKEA couch just a crushing. It was. It was.
Starting point is 00:31:38 a nice shape to record podcast. It was an L-shaped. I loved that couch. That was so comfy. But it was not that, it was kind of like firm. I love that couch. In L.A. we got chairs and I like that. And in this studio, we had Mel Robbins. I mean, most importantly, we had Harry Jousy and that was the horniest, one of the horniest days of my life. Oh, right. It didn't even do L.A. What happened here? I don't, take it away. That's it. Harry Jousy is the only thing that happened here. We've had huge guests in L.A. huger than Harry though trying to think
Starting point is 00:32:08 and we had Heather in L.A. back That was yeah that was in my house I think Matthew Hussie also came to my house Jay Shetty we did at his place Who else was I like really nervous about that came to my house Oh Tyler Cameron was in my house Actually I was so nervous I was just like sitting in my living room with him like I don't know what to do
Starting point is 00:32:25 So many people Harry Jousy and Tyler Cameron It's the horniest I've been on this show I'm saying Oh, Laura Wasser, but that was on Zoom. That's the horniest you've been. I don't know if I can handle Laura Wasser in person, my girl crush. She's a famous lawyer, divorce attorney, but we did her on Zoom.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Maybe one day we'll have her in person. Maybe you'll do her in person one day. Okay, well, that was a nice little walktown memory lane. So, yeah, thank you guys, of course, for being here and just stay tuned. And we are always interested in what you guys like. We've said it before. We said it last week. We cannot please everybody.
Starting point is 00:32:59 People will want to watch podcasters at a table. in chairs or I saw some comments that people really did like that Dear Media Studio for Tune Days episode and but that that color looks a lot different it was more muted we really like vibrant obviously the pink and the green and the saturation of it all and so feel free to comment what you guys like yeah and if you're in LA we've been using it's called blank space and they have a bunch of locations they're in Santa Monica and Venice and a couple of them and they're just offices you can outfit so yeah you guys are interested reach out to them too they've been really great to us yeah inexpensive blank spaces like all one word. Yeah, and like short-term commercial business. Like there was the T-Moo Waffle Wall Street
Starting point is 00:33:38 next door. There's a hairdresser in here. There's a jiu-jitsu studio down there. They have like private event spaces. They don't bother us. It's nice. Yeah. And then again, Venice, but I've driven by that one in Santa Monica. It looks really nice too. So it's a great option. We've been really happy. So thanks to them. All right. Well, we'll thank our partners and we'll just get into our main topic today. So I just moved. So what better time than to talk about furniture? Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price. I mean, I just leather site. Ashley and I, like our homes, it's so important to us to make them look comfortable and chic. My house in Venice is obviously very coastal, so that's how I had outfitted it. But in New York, I wanted more colors,
Starting point is 00:34:17 a little more edge. So at Article, they have mid-century modern. They have coastal. They've have Scandy inspired pieces. When you go on the site, if you're like, I've no idea how to outfit a whole room. They'll show you. Their Instagram is great as well. They really take great care and like curating these collections. Everything's high quality. The packaging is great. The weight and feel of everything. And since it's summertime, you know, everybody's redoing their outdoor spaces. It's hard to find like really nice high-hand furniture. So I love what they have. I like this Elise, E-L-I-S-E lounge chair and Ottoman bundle. And everything that they do comes in like different fabrics, different finishes. So there's a lot to choose from. And in terms of like price points, look, feel all of that.
Starting point is 00:34:52 They have fast affordable shipping and assembly. Great support. It's really important to Ashley and I. So support seven days a week and a 30-day satisfaction guarantee. So if you don't like what you guys get, which I sure will not happen, but you can shop with confidence and know that you can return it in 30 days if you need to. Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more to claim, visit article.com slash gge.
Starting point is 00:35:13 And the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com slash gge for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Okay, an FP movement. We love it so much. You're wearing this set today. I love those pants. I have them in red, but I want that top to match because I only have the long sleep version. But I love that set.
Starting point is 00:35:34 And what I like that they do with so many other sets is like there are so many colors to choose from. They're like, no, not just black. There'll be three shades of black and gray. I know. I love it. So I'll tell you guys what I was going to wear today. And that is the go-to cammy in Honeydew. It's like this really bright color.
Starting point is 00:35:50 So you can just picture it. but I love it. It is so comfortable. It feels like a second skin. I also recently got the varsity blues short. I've talked about their bike shorts. I love them so much. I think it's called the never better bike shorts. The best bike short I've ever worn. The icon tea. I got this too just like a big oversized t-shirt. You could wear it over a pair of shorts or even like to sleep in it. Of course, it's great for your workouts, but it's not just for the gym. We travel in these sets, the hot shot crossover set we love. If you want to go to brunch, the farmer's market, take a walk. You're just going to look cute doing it. This is free people's active work. brand. If you guys didn't know that by now, and again, I was mentioning shorts one time that we talked about them before. Like, shorts are not always so easy to find. Like the way they sit on your waist and the way they look and they have great, great shorts, the water-resistant coastline hike shorts, the top-rated Carpe Diem shorts that has a built-in brief, sweat-resistant design and the most flattering, ultra-high rise waistband. Everything's really flattering. We love it. These buttery soft feel on the bike shorts, and we're just such fans. So you guys can shop the full line
Starting point is 00:36:50 of activeware and workout gear at FPMovement.com slash GGE. Again, visit FPMovement.com to shop their full line of activeware and workout gear. Okay, so we're going to get into our topic for today. This was inspired by a friend of ours who also has been on the show twice, Ali Colbert. She was on Subway Takes, which is just a great Instagram series. Yeah, we'll play it for you guys. Okay. So what's your take? I do not think straight men, especially married men, should be on Instagram. 100% agreed unless they are working
Starting point is 00:37:24 unless they're working Instagram is a dating app if you are a man on Instagram you should have a private profile you should have less than 200 followers you should have posted twice in your life eight years ago you should not be able to comment
Starting point is 00:37:38 you should not be able to DM no fire emoji to someone's story liking someone else's photo is cheating you do not need an explore page you're not a fucking astronaut go explore the family you started If you're in a relationship and your explore page is not fishing poles and hiking boots, it's over. It's done.
Starting point is 00:37:56 What is an explore page for? You have two children under the age of 12. I'm with you. You're a grown man sending fire emojis. How do you live with yourself? And to people that you don't know. It's cheating. It's not LinkedIn.
Starting point is 00:38:08 No, it's, you want to f*** them. It's really inappropriate. I also don't think men should be tall. Okay. Well, Allie, relax on that. I was just running a set, you know? No, I know. I love that.
Starting point is 00:38:16 It's very funny. Like I was thinking what is the elite social media for men to have? It's LinkedIn. And LinkedIn only. But if it can't be that, I agree. Private profile, couple hundred followers. That's what Shashonk was when you met him. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Private, not a lot of photos. Totally. Now he's a celebrity. Stop. Don't even. I really thought about this. I think what Ali said is really funny. But there's so much nuance to it.
Starting point is 00:38:43 And we are going to get into it. We pulled you guys. we had like 20,000 responses from the polls. You guys are always so great and open about like, where's the line in your relationships and what do you think is okay? And there's so much nuance. And I wrote down this line, the same behavior means different things in different relationships.
Starting point is 00:38:58 So like, I've had partners that I've been like, sure, like and follow away. I don't care. They post me. They are on my Instagram story. They repost every time they're on my Instagram stories. I don't care if they follow a few people or if you're like it says it doesn't mean the same thing. is as a partner who is actively hiding you, not posting you, not reposting your stories that they're in. Like, is there a record of me being alive on your social media?
Starting point is 00:39:24 Like, are you secretive or not? Like, it's a whole ecosystem in a relationship. Like, Shishonk, I mean, I think he could follow whoever he wanted and like people's stuff and comment. You would just be like, that's cute. I talked to him about this. And I was like, what's your history with this? Have you ever had a partner that you did something they didn't like or whatever? And he was like, no.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Like, he follows his celeb crush. She's an actress named Madeline Pesh. I'm not threatened. But he was like, I would never comment because I wouldn't want you to scroll and see it. I don't need to comment. I said, will you like her stuff? And he said, if she's fully clothed. And I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Like, he has answers like locked and loaded. He was like, I would never want you to see me comment on any woman's Instagram. like fire emojis or anything. He wouldn't even think to do it. Well, you have to ask yourself, what's the point of this? There's only one reason why you can be passively attracted to anybody that you like, go for it. You can't be actively participating. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:24 That's bizarre to me. And I want to go back a little bit to Allie's take, which is extreme and it's meant to be funny. And we think it's hilarious. But there is truth in it. Yeah. Because we do use Instagram as a dating app. That's not controversial. And as you should if you're single.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Shishonk, DM me before anything, you know, like, just to be clear. So I think her take is really, obviously, people in long-term relationships and dads. Like, yeah, you got children and you're messaging and commenting on stuff. Like, I think it's just funny. Like, she did describe a lot of women's perfect man. Like, they posted twice, like, their explore pages fishing. They don't know what's going on. But we know guys who are super active on Instagram for work.
Starting point is 00:41:10 also there's exceptions to every rule. We're going to say stuff today that might be an ick or something we wouldn't want. And we know guys that do that. And they're great, trustworthy, amazing friends of ours. Different rules apply to different people. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:20 But like for work, for networking, for a good cause. What about all those guys who are crushing watermelon? Like all those liberal activist commentators are doing the Lord's work, these outspoken liberal men on this app. Like I think that like we have exceptions to all these rules in our lives and so do you guys. But these trends that we're talking about with these guys and their behavior is pervasive.
Starting point is 00:41:40 and women want to discuss it. I'm just like, Instagram is a shopping app for me, for men. And if I want to get somebody's attention, you really do think of it like that. I'm single. Like I, if I want to get somebody's attention,
Starting point is 00:41:53 I like their Instagram stories, I respond to their Instagram stories, I leave comments because I'm horny. That's the point of this. Hey, look at me. Look over here. The last person I slept with, it started because I followed him
Starting point is 00:42:04 and I started posting thirsty stuff for him to look at and then he slid in. Then we slept together. It's a dating app. Like she said, Like, that's not funny. That's, it is funny, but it's truthful. Like, how many people have we had in this podcast?
Starting point is 00:42:14 I think, Alec Flynn and his now girlfriend. I love them so much. I mean, I don't know. The last person I asked how they got together, it was Instagram. Like, it really is like that. And yeah, you do a great job of it. You have a great method. But that's like, you're, if you are commenting and, like, things like that,
Starting point is 00:42:31 and of course, there's exceptions. You and I have two really good friends, Bobby and Rob. Bobby was formerly married. But, like, those are, like, the first people to, like, write, like, like, you look hot on my stuff and they love their wives and are attracted to their wives and are not stepping out of the marriage they know their wives are seeing this yes that was really something I wanted to focus in on there are probably three to five guys in my life I don't know maybe only two that have the purest of intentions and they know I'm not going to read it weird like there's a few
Starting point is 00:42:59 things I'll just use Bobby and Rob again because they'll flame emojis all day like they know we don't think anything of it they know their wives or partners we'll see it and they know our partners or past partners. Like, I'm thinking of this one guy who used to really be in your DMs a lot and he was married and we knew his wife too, but it was a little flirty for private DMs. And I think he just liked you. I think he wanted to be your friend, but I would not want it from my husband. Also, the volume of messages like was a lot.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Like, it wasn't like he saw something that was so specific to him and he was like, that's my favorite XYZ. I know that chef at that restaurant. Like it was, but even then, it was a lot. What are we doing here? You were single, you know, like, what? And I'm not really friends with his now wife. So like, we asked our audience, we'll get in this later, but like we asked our audience, you know, where's your hard line?
Starting point is 00:43:52 And a couple of women I saw said, if I know her, then it's fine. If I'm friends with her, like Rob's wife, Bobby's ex-wife, we're friends with them. So these are not girls that can't just like text me and be like, what's up? And it's so much about personality and you know it when you see it. know when the intention is shady. Like Bob and Robbie, Bob and Robbie, it's so hard. I don't call Bob and Bob. Both Bob's, both Roberts are like that in real life.
Starting point is 00:44:22 They'll tell you in front of their partners, you look hot. Like, Shishon doesn't do that. Shishon can flame emoji exactly two people. It's you and it's Gina who was married to his best guy friend and who really was the one who helped set us up. And that's it. And they are like family. be one of the I'm making a face because he doesn't he doesn't do it if he wanted to like I really think
Starting point is 00:44:44 he wants to hype you always it would be you he really thinks of you as a sister it's non-threatening but if I just saw he was out here on a bunch of other people I'd be like what are we doing here it's like it's embarrassing that's the thing like it's not just embarrassing for me like you men should be embarrassed what are you literally doing it's so it is so embarrassing I want to read this one line that this one girl wrote she said commenting all this stuff is not disrespectful just loser shit and I don't fuck losers. I love that. Like, it's just losery that you're, like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:45:16 Right. Like, let's just take Shishang, for example. Shishong, flame emojis, heart emojis. I don't like it. Flame emojis are fine. He flame emojis your picture. Everyone sees it. They know what's up.
Starting point is 00:45:25 They know that's like your brother. You know, like, but Shishong, flame emoji is a bunch of other people. They're like, that's Ashley's husband. And it's fucking weird. You know what I mean? Yep. And he knows that. And he, I just think, again, and there are these list of special
Starting point is 00:45:39 cases and when it's outside of that, it's, it's suss and it's probably embarrassing to your partner. And I thought about this every single time my ex was being shady. And I don't know if he cheated on me. He probably did, but I don't know. But we were off and on all the time. And there was a lot of gray area. We were on a break, this and that. In the whole two years we were off and on, I never hooked up with anybody else, but I know that he did. And it's whatever. But every time he did something, I found it and I was right. Even the girl he dated out. after me. I'd clocked her months prior. I found every single girl. And by the way, when we were going through our two toxic years, you could see people's likes on Instagram, which was a crazy
Starting point is 00:46:18 time. So there was that. But like, I would notice a new girl in his likes or comments. And I go to her stuff. I was right every single time. Like, this is so real. Like, guys, when they're commenting, they're like not on famous people, non-famous people. They're like, buzz, buzz, here I am. I single one day. Yep. Why else you're doing it? That is the only reason you're doing it. You just need validation. And listen, I understand that like people need validation and there's tons of relationships that people go home and feel like their partner does not see them and does not sleep with them, it doesn't compliment them. It is as appreciative of them. And I'm not talking about those people. And you should go to therapy or breakup if that's the case. But like, I don't know. I think it's just
Starting point is 00:47:00 putting like a band-aid over a bullet hole if you're going to try to get this external validation. And then what, by the way? Then you're just drag up a conversation with somebody and then what are we doing. Part of it's just like, here I am, just in case. And we have a friend who she has since broken up with her boyfriend. And she noticed this at the very beginning. And I didn't really know that. She kind of told me later in the relationship of some of the reasons she didn't trust him because she was trying to reflect on why she didn't trust him. And she was like, I noticed this very early on. And we always say, I think this is actually a Rob Bowlin quote. But the problem at the beginning is the problem at the end. And it's so true sometimes.
Starting point is 00:47:38 it's it's almost always true. And so early on she noticed he was following a lot of like hot models, bikini girls, a lot of who he knew, a lot that he knew that he actually knew, not just like thoughty like spank bank material and really engaging and then he cleaned up his following a little bit, but he was still engaging with some. And one of the girls she caught him texting with and there was a betrayal involved. And it's just like she had clocked that before. You do know it when like us women we know it. You know it? And it's like so interesting because before she caught him, maybe like three weeks prior, she was saying to me like, I went through his following again. He's just following all of these bikini models still. He refollowed a bunch of them and she was like,
Starting point is 00:48:20 I'm really uncomfortable about it. It's a real blind spot for me sometimes because I was like, I don't want to invalidate you, but like he's never really given you a reason to not trust him. And you don't really, you've never caught him lying or he's never said he was going to be somewhere and he was somewhere else. You have this location. And she was like, I just can't shake this feeling. and on top of that, he doesn't post me. And like, that's the smoking gun to me. Like, it's just, I keep thinking about this being like a whole ecosystem of a relationship. It's like, that wouldn't be that big of a deal if his Instagram was also flooded with your photos.
Starting point is 00:48:51 And yes, anybody can cheat on you and also post a million photos of you. But it just, it was a couple things that added up that it was just like, okay, well, he doesn't express to other people. He's in a serious relationship. It's not clear. You're so right. It's everything together. that really is the full picture. It's always just one thing.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Yeah, I mean, you can call cheating whatever you want. And you know, like, I think that you're allowed to have standards and boundaries. I don't think we all have to just be like the cool girl that's just like trying to be like, I can't police an adult all the time. Like you're allowed to have standards and your standard can be like, I don't like that you're engaging with all these people. Like this person we're talking about, he was liking and commenting on all these girls' photos too. And like, it's just too close for comfort.
Starting point is 00:49:32 And you're allowed to say like, that's not, that's not fine for me. And you're DMing back and forth with these girls. And now it's moved to text messages. And maybe it's not on its head cheating. You didn't penetrate this person. But it is not behavior that is becoming of somebody that I want to be with. Yeah. I'm curious what you think about this.
Starting point is 00:49:47 I've heard so many friends say, like, I don't want to come off as insecure and controlling. And I have to, like, say back to them, like, what you're asking is not insecure and controlling. These are, like, normal boundaries to have with somebody. And I think a lot of women get caught up in this, like, I don't want him to throw that back on me, that I'm controlling him. Yeah, I mean, the guys that are in my life that I think are great partners, including my own, but family, friends, just know better.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Unfortunately, like I'm not saying this is always a like red flag break up with him, but I do think about Rob and I think about when he started dating his now wife, maybe even partners before that, he cleaned up as follows because he doesn't want to be scrolling and it's someone's ass, you know, like he was like, I followed some of these models and ass and tities when I was single and I don't anymore, you know? Like, I think about that the guys we know would be the same way. Like, they have a respect for their partners. And there is a line. There, it is too much to start dating someone and be like, you have to never engage with a woman again. I mean, you can think whatever you want, have whatever boundaries you want, but there
Starting point is 00:51:05 Is this person untrustworthy and has he given you a reason to doubt him? Or are you really deeply insecure and you're acting out of previous trauma and you're projecting and you can't handle him engaging with anyone, even if they are his friends? And that might be something you have to reflect on yourself and work through yourself because your partner should be able to have female friends interact with him on Instagram, like their stuff, hype them up, all the things. But like an avalanche of like bikini models. I'm just like there, there is an alternative to you following these people, which is to just watch porn or look them up.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Like I've just, I've never dealt with it. I'm never to ask somebody to do that. But like, if I had to, I would just be like, why won't you? Yeah. What's the big deal? Unfollow them. Yeah. And I remember with my ex, like going through his follows one time.
Starting point is 00:51:58 And I just felt kind of sick. Like I was like, why? this is just a lot of ass for what and again following is different than engaging like i think there's some guys out there that maybe they just want to look at stuff like that sometimes and they've never once engaged and i wanted to ask you about girls doing this i don't think we have i mean other than bradley thor but it's like again this goes back to the crush episode we did we did recently and not always, but most of the time, women do this kind of stuff, have these little crushes, my fire emoji, somebody on Instagram. And it is like really actually harmless. And I was thinking
Starting point is 00:52:42 that women's behavior is mostly harmless usually. It's like men, they can't be trusted. Yeah. I can be trusted. And I think so many guys are hot, but I don't necessarily need to follow them. Also, a lot of the guys I think are hot. If they're of the moment, they are on like chicks in office or bustle or elite daily and so I'm liking all that all day. But I thought about this and this is the loophole. So, you know, like one of my hall passes is John Fabro from Ponce of America. That's surprise you guys as much as it's surprising. People love that. I see comments about it. So I can like his stuff all day. Same with Chezzzzzac. Shishonk loves Caitlin Collins. So if we are, we literally share a mutual like gas friends with her.
Starting point is 00:53:19 If Shishonk wants to flame emoji, everything Caitlin Collins posted on like Yas King, gas her up, like journalists. and activists are the loophole Kately Collins we could go up dinner where they're like right now we share a friend to come on the podcast
Starting point is 00:53:35 you book the guests are we booking or not are you afraid to keep her a rush shock no he doesn't get to meet her we'll book her in New York I would love to book her well she's on watch what happens live
Starting point is 00:53:45 all the time I love Caitlin Collins she's the CNN anchor Katie Collins and so if I saw truly if I saw him heart eyes every post of hers I'd be like
Starting point is 00:53:56 Yep. That's it. Because we co-sign it. Yeah. I just, I love Kayla Collins. But it does, this behavior does remind me of the crash episode we did a few weeks ago that you guys, like, loved. And the episode was so huge. And when you get into a relationship, same with flirting with, like, friends. Like, your behavior just has to change.
Starting point is 00:54:15 That's just like, that's the tradeoff. Like, one of my best guy friends got into a relationship, unfortunately. It's so annoying. And he used to comment on everything about how hot I looked. And that stopped when you got to. a girlfriend and I hate that and that's annoying to me but I get it right I was just going to say like though like I want to like everything I see of Belmont Camelli like just everything shirtless everything he's doing he's dancing he was that kid Leroy video like okay I'm so glad you brought
Starting point is 00:54:41 this up because listen you guys this will have been weeks ago at this point but I have been wanting to ask him so mad I didn't do a snack this week if it turned you on if you got the ick okay so again this was weeks ago at this point we're recording in advance Belmont Camelli was in this big crowd dancing with Kid Leroy. And I, it was 100% hot to me. A hundred percent, zero percent ick. No, like he has swagger. Uh-huh. He, it wasn't cringe or ick. He was having a good time. He's so sexy. Uh-huh. How do you get the ick from that? Okay. If you watch like two seconds prior, he like, he's trying to put his cell phone away in one of his like cargo pants. We've all been there. We've all tried to put our cell phone in our cargo pan pocket. So that he could bust out to this dance to
Starting point is 00:55:21 bust down and like watching him trying to get the phone in the pocket so that he could then dance like that was a little ick but i'm it is a little ick but i was so horny watching it i mean he's when he okay the dance move yes very when he lists his shirt up i was like we've got a little far no but i'm so horny watching it i don't care he does have swag does have enough moves to pull off what he was doing and he's doing it confidently yes that's the thing when you feel someone is not owning it that's the ick and I didn't get that from him at all. So, yeah, like, I was liking stuff. But if he posted on his private account and it was him with his shirt off and stuff,
Starting point is 00:56:03 I don't know. I wouldn't be flame emoji in it. I don't know. But also, like, if I did, it would be so harmless and it would be of my character. I think that's the kind of thing that your husband would see and laugh at. A hundred percent. Also that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:15 That's the other thing. It's like, if your partner saw this, what would they think about it? And he is a famous celebrity now. Like, again, like some random person, like, why are you doing this? You're laying the groundwork. And we see you. Yeah, we see you. We see your intentions.
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Starting point is 01:00:21 That's better h-elp.com slash g-gee. Okay, so we surveyed you guys. About 20,000 people responded. Our surveys are real data. People should pass for them. 20,000 of you guys. I mean, this is better than anyone else could do. Kinsey Institute. Come at us. Google me, bitch. Google. Rainis Tom, what is it from? It's a kid. I just some kid.
Starting point is 01:00:47 We said it the other day. When did we say that? I think it was Rustasi. Four Christmases. Oh my God. That never would have occurred to me. One of the one of his nephews? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Yeah. It's one of Vince Fond's nephews. That's crazy. Okay. Yes. Okay. So we asked you guys a series of questions. We're just going to go through your answers.
Starting point is 01:01:06 We kicked it off with your stance on this statement. Men in committed relationships don't need Instagram outside of work. 10% said agree. It's a dating app. And 90% disagreed. What do you think about that? I think it's a hobbyist app. I mean,
Starting point is 01:01:22 there's how many men are on there for sports, cars, travel, food. Like most of my guy friends, that's what they're following looks like. Comedy. But people don't like to save it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:32 So I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, I mean, yes, a lot of people are on there to fuck. Sure. But like, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Most people are also on there to follow their favorite sports teams and comedians and us. Sports. about it all. A lot of sports and like food. Like how else does one find food? Exactly. How are they going to take you on dates? Especially in LA if they're not falling camber. 100. Okay. So that was just like a fun. We knew you guys would probably say that. Again, it's an extreme tape, but it's fun to, um, to break down. Should guys who follow models, hot
Starting point is 01:02:01 influencers, et cetera, clean up their following when they enter a serious relationship? And 55% said yes. And 45% said no, I don't care. So more than half or like, yeah, you should clean it up. It depends on how egregious it is, I guess. There's like this one guy that I dated. And like I've looked at this following it. It's like all bikini models. And it seems I'm just like this is beneath you and weird. Like do you need to follow all these people?
Starting point is 01:02:26 And if we were in a relationship, yeah, I'd ask for this to stop. It's embarrassing to me that my friends go to your follower list and see this and see that. Because when you just glance at someone's follower list, you know it's so much ass. It's so much ass and titty. It's embarrassing to me.
Starting point is 01:02:40 I mean, I don't want my friends to see that on your, it's not even so much about me as much. Right. It's embarrassing to me. Right. Okay. It's following bikini models while in a relationship disrespectful. 28% said yes always.
Starting point is 01:02:53 7% said no, following like away. And the majority is 65%. Following is fine. Engaging isn't. That's probably where I fall. Because we also want to support these women. You know, only like models are people too. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:05 I mean, we want these women to get their bags. Maybe not from our men. Yeah, not from our husbands. Not from our men. know we just we don't want to take away from them also i mean within reason it's fine if you follow like a few of these people you can't be engaging with them stop it if your partner asked you to unfollow certain accounts would you 25% said yes 5% said no really hard line there and the majority 70% said depends on the request yeah i mean i'm a woman it's also different again i just i'm trustworthy there is nobody
Starting point is 01:03:37 what would shashonk asked me to unfollow i think it would be people that you've slept with and dated like For that's what in that direction from men to women like I feel like they'd ask you to unfollow an ex Which I guess I wouldn't mind I mean I want it depends on the request for me like I follow pretty much everybody that I've ever dated or slept with and a lot of them are muted But I don't need to like X them out of my life completely. Yeah But I think it's a reasonable request. I guess if somebody was like this bothers me so much this like a specific X I don't think I need them in your orbit. But I guess I would just just need to unpack like why because you know I could just look them up if I felt like it. I know I mean I follow guys I've dated or slept with just because I didn't need to unfollow them like whatever we had I'm thinking of a few in particular one I actually dated and
Starting point is 01:04:28 one that we knew each other before slept together once and stayed friends after I follow them I like their stuff I don't really engage your comment we're not ever in the DMs they like my marriage stuff. Like they've like my wedding post. Like it's so harmless. I don't know that Shishon knows who these people are or does he care. But I do follow people that I have a history with. And to me, I was never going to unfollow them because why would I?
Starting point is 01:04:58 That looks like I'm bothered by them. Yeah. So if Shishon was like, hey, can you unfollow Jason? I'd be like, um, why though? But again, you guys have like the ecosystem of trust where I feel like he would never ask you that. You would never have to do something like that. Like there's no reason for him to feel like there's a problem that you're following in X. If you saw text messages. Right. And like if those guys, the two I'm thinking of in particular, like, were my DMs or they were doing too much,
Starting point is 01:05:25 I'd be like, you got to stop. I'm disrespected on behalf of my husband too. What are we, what do you think? What do you think you're doing here? There is no chance for you anymore if that's what you're after. So yeah, I guess it depends on the request. I'd really need to like understand like why you really need me to unfollow this person. Are you embarrassed? The world sees me following this person. Yeah. I'm embarrassed. I slept with them too. Okay. And lastly, where do you draw the line with your partner and someone on social media who's, again, not a close friend or family? Following 10% is the line for 10% people. Liking, that's 23% is the line. Commenting 33% and DMing is 35%. So let me find out you DM'd one of these people. Okay, but hear me out.
Starting point is 01:06:08 What about you kind of swipe up with a reaction and then you're in the DMs? Like I bet that's what a lot of guys do that are without DMs. No, I think in the DMs means like you have sent a message. I know that, but I'm saying this is their gateway. Like they just swiped up with a hard eye and now the DMs are unlocked. You know what I'm saying? You can unlock them other way. And I don't like it.
Starting point is 01:06:31 You don't need to be doing it. I know. I'm just saying that could be a shady way. We're like, I just reacted. What? But it's like she could so easily DM you back now. it's the line of communication's been open. Even like liking.
Starting point is 01:06:41 I'm just like sometimes I'll be like scrolling random shit. I'll see like one of my friends partners liked it. And I'm like for what? Liked your stuff? No. I mean, I'll see that they liked other stuff. And I'm like, why are you liking this? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:52 And again, it's just like some of it's the volume. It's you go to some girls page and your man has liked everything she's posted. It's weird. And even worse, he hasn't liked everything you've ever posted. No, feels intentional. You better be hyping me every second of every day. And then that creates a different environment for me. Right.
Starting point is 01:07:16 Okay, so then we asked you guys, do you have any hard and fast rules when it comes to this? And I loved the responses that we got for this. It was so vast. Like we could not get to the bottom of the slide. Like people really had a lot of feelings. And it really oscillated from like, I don't care to like everything's a hard line.
Starting point is 01:07:37 The overwhelming theme was don't embarrass me. I mean, over and over and over again, do not embarrass me with how you act. You can have a long leash to do whatever you want. Don't embarrass me. Like if you're a dude, I don't talk directly to a dude. You're a dude. You have a long-term girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:07:54 She's scrolling and she sees you flame emoji and all these girls, bikini picks, whatever, not famous celebrity, not Nicole Kidman, you know, not Giselle, like more accessible people of a, certain level. Do you think she's going to like it? You know the answer. You know the answer. And if you don't, you're not a worthy partner. Or you just don't care. Or you just are just crazy. Exactly. Exactly. And don't gaslight her and like, what are you? You're so jealous. You're so insecure. Break up with that man. And then a lot, which came up after we're dating, you'd be posting me and actively engaging with me. And that'll just change the way that I feel about you. Like a lot of people just feel
Starting point is 01:08:32 like if you're liking stuff, it makes it look like you're open to engage you with that person. That's the thing too. What message are you trying to send? Also, do you want me doing this? Don't do stuff you don't want me doing. Again, like Raina said, but just to reiterate, let's say it again, following bikini models is not disrespectful. It's just loser shit and I don't fuck losers. Just harness that energy, ladies. You can look, follow. You cannot touch, which is like, comment, DM. I like that. My friend saw this, what they want me to be with you. I mean, like, I just see Shishonk's just like liking and commenting on every stop. And I'm like, that's so cute. Look how sweet he is. If you know the person, it's fine to interact, you know,
Starting point is 01:09:05 who cares if you don't know them why are you engaging other than to start engaging with them right no selfies what does that mean you can't like a selfie you can't post one you can't post one you shouldn't be posting one man that post selfies there's exceptions to every rule but there's very few exceptions to that well men take them though it's shishong takes selfies all the time like to show me his outfits not to post on instagram stories he's like I was just feeling he's never done it you guys there's not I would be like based on who he is that would make me laugh if shishon posted a selfie okay here's what a man should never do a selfie that's like front facing like this way that's what you're your selfie of their like drip maybe but like they took yeah like I take one like on my like
Starting point is 01:09:51 nice nature walk that's so embarrassing yeah like a duck face Martha Stewart selfie thirst trap no I love this one no rules he deleted everything except Facebook marketplace I love a quiet man And then my husband just deleted his Instagram and our relationship instantly got better. And my ex-boyfriend followed every slut on Instagram. Didn't bother. He's too ugly. Current BF. No Instagram, better life.
Starting point is 01:10:17 So there seems to be a correlation. No porn accounts. Okay. I think I say this on the show a lot. You're allowed to draw whatever boundary you want. Your partner doesn't have to accept that. But like this environment that you're in where you're going back and forth and you're like, I don't like this and then you're being gaslit.
Starting point is 01:10:33 It's like you have to come to some type of agreement or you can't be with that person because it's ridiculous to act like social media doesn't matter. We're so far past that. And this is when you can check yourself with your friends. So find your most secure friends, maybe your older friends, maybe friends that are kind of like us and ask them if you're being ridiculous. Because sometimes you don't know. And especially if you are in a relationship that has some toxicity or already has some
Starting point is 01:10:59 gaslighting and this person has made you. jealous and insecure or that's not the case, but again, you have that previous trauma and you feel a little warped and you feel like you can't necessarily trust your gut and you don't know what's normal. Ask someone that you really look up to and respect that maybe isn't a secure relationship or they don't have to be they can be single, but just be like, am I being crazy? Is this normal to want this? Is this out of pocket? Can I ask this of him?
Starting point is 01:11:24 Like, you don't want to be on this journey yourself in terms of determining if this is a boundary that is socially acceptable. Like Raina said, you could have whatever boundary you want. But I think this is always worth checking with your friends. I'm laughing because our friend checked with me and I told her she was overreacting. And look what happened. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:11:44 But I do just, I really liked him and he hadn't done anything that was like that crazy, but she was right. And I also like, you have to remember your friends know their partners better than you do. So, I mean, I just, I'm also not going to invalidate my friends. If you feel like something's going on, then I believe you that you think. that something probably is going on. When she told me this, I had to be like, that sucks. And I gave her the example of Rob, who I'm like most trustworthy guy, husband, we know,
Starting point is 01:12:14 and used to follow a lot of these types of accounts and his since dialed back and it was when he was younger and stuff like that. But I also had the experience with my ex that he was shady. And so it's just like I really validated her. And it was like a who's to say type. situation because there are two types of guys. All kinds of types of guys. Well, it had only lasted like two more weeks. So I was wrong. If you have to have rules for your man on social media, he does not respect you. I mean, that again, a little bit of extreme statement, but that's what I was saying earlier.
Starting point is 01:12:46 Like the guys that really respect you know how to act. Yeah, I haven't had to have conversations like this with people that in my in my gut, I've, I trusted. The people I've had the most serious long-term relationships with or people whose phones I would never have thought to look at. I wouldn't have looked at their social media. But I have been the girl that is hacking into your social media, reading everything, crying, accusing of stuff. And every time I was right with those people. And I know the other ones didn't cheat on me. I mean, I guess there's a possibility. But like, they didn't seem like those kind of people. And I never did it. And I can be two people in different relationships. 100%. Well, let's go through some of these emails that really caught our eye. Again, thank you guys always for
Starting point is 01:13:26 for sharing. These are vastly different topics. I'm excited to get into them both. Can I tell you something funny about our emails? It just always makes me laugh. Is no one, it doesn't matter what we ask you guys for. Every single email starts with, I love you guys. And you changed my life. Like, you guys could not be more wonderful. Like, you're writing emails about ridiculous shit. And sometimes stuff that happened 20 years ago. And every email starts with, I love you both so much. You changed my life. You guys are so funny. The sendoffs are always funny. Somebody just wrote, thankfully, I moved back to Boston. Shout out to Sparkle Eyes. Like, you guys are just so. You guys are just so. You guys are just so. funny. I just, I love your emails. They're so special. I know. I really, too love you guys.
Starting point is 01:14:01 It'd be funny to start an email. Like, you guys are okay. But anyway, I really wanted to send this in. It's not, it's just never like, listen up, bitches. It's like, you change every single thing I thought about my life and what I wanted in my boundaries and I left a terrible relationship and I married an amazing man. And I'm like, oh my God. Oh, really like it makes me so emotional. Okay. So this one, she says, back when my boyfriend and I first started dating, he got mad at me for posting a bikini photo to the gram. Not a thirst trap by any means. We were on a high coming back from the water and I was still just in a bikini because I hate that she's even having to defend this. I know. I know. And I was still just in my bikini because I was wet and I didn't
Starting point is 01:14:35 want to put clothes on. Cool nature photo. I had to remove it. Otherwise I'd send. Girl, send it to us. Don't think I have it anymore. It was four years ago. Oh my God. It was a whole fight. Meanwhile, not even a full day later, I'm scrolling and see a few posts for mutual friends that are bikini photos. Duh, it's summer. And he has liked every single one. I brought it up to him saying that I don't think it's fair that he's liking these bikini photos, but telling me I can't post. one. His reasoning was that since we were together, I shouldn't show my body to others like that. I mean, I don't even need to read anymore. Like, this is some weird, like, Christian conservatism bullshit. This is the most toxic masculinity. Like, my woman won't be naked on the internet. Get out of here.
Starting point is 01:15:11 I said, that's fine. But then I don't think you should be able to like other girls' bikini picks, especially after ignoring my post rather than gassing me up in the comments. That's crazy. He didn't even like hers. Oh, it's crazy. And also, she's not like thirst trapping on like a rooftop and a pool. She's like, I'm on a hike. Also, I'll do whatever I want with my body. But this is the least sexualized it could be. A hike? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:32 Celebrities would be different, but these are girls that we both know. It's embarrassing how my boyfriend like all these bikini photos. Yeah. Yeah. I ignore mine completely. Yeah. What are your thoughts on this? This is four years ago early in our relationship.
Starting point is 01:15:43 However, wait, is she still with him? Oh, my God. This is her. Um, I just assumed this was her ex. Sis, we got to talk. Could I go too hard? No, we get email. There's another one I didn't put in here.
Starting point is 01:15:59 And she was like, so 13 years ago with my now husband, and it's like, well, and it's like the whole emails is like, she's still married. I'm like, oh, no. Okay. Well, you know what? I was authentic to me. Anna, keep all this in. I was authentic to me.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Okay. What are your thoughts on this? This was four years ago. My thoughts is that you were authentic to you? However, I know he would still not like me posting a photo of my bikini without him in it. He's a bit on the insecure side. Dad cheated on his mom.
Starting point is 01:16:25 I've tried to get him into therapy. Okay. So it sounds like things maybe have gotten a little bit better. And what happened, I'm not walking back what I said. What happened years ago could have come from a different place. If he's still pulling this shit, this isn't just him not wanting her to post the bikini pick. This is him liking the other stuff.
Starting point is 01:16:42 It's the combination of the two things. Like we said, it paints the full picture. I'm not liking hers because he's like, I'm mad. I'm mad that you did this. Like it's so, it's just, it's controlling in a way that's unfair. It clearly comes from a different place. Like I understand there's always like our friend that this happened to that we keep referencing. She said to me like, I understand his need for attention.
Starting point is 01:17:04 And I understand how he grew up and his insecurities. I understand his need for outside validation. And I was like, that doesn't mean it has to be your problem. We can work through these with people and have empathy for what they've gone through, but it shouldn't end up like affecting you so deeply. Yeah. I mean, listen, if everything else is great in this relationship and you don't really feel like he's controlling in other ways, Like what you've described to us is there's red flags all over it.
Starting point is 01:17:28 But if things have improved over four years, like people can change. I believe that. So again, this isn't me walking back, my original authentic thoughts. But we don't know everything else in the ins and outs in the relationship. But you can show your body on social media. Like for whatever reason you want, I mean, if you're in a relationship, I really don't think you should post something that feels really like a thirst trap. But if you're really just like, I work hard on my body and I want to show it off.
Starting point is 01:17:54 like Shishonk would not like me full butthole on the gram. So it is, there's different vibes. Like I feel like I'm envisioning this hiking bikini photo and it's not the same as me like, I'm at the beach taking a selfie. They'll like get my abs and my tits and I'm like, you know, like the sweaty skin. Like there's different vibes. Okay. Well, you know, you'll do what you're going to do, girl.
Starting point is 01:18:14 Usually we don't get these emails when you guys are still together. So this really, thank you for sharing, of course. And we just hope he's like changed. I mean, it's like we saw a real redemption. of Zach on Mormon wives. I was literally thinking of Zach, of course. If anybody's listening to this didn't think of Zach. Yeah, I mean, and again, this is a reality show.
Starting point is 01:18:32 It's been edited and- Well, that was a real villain arc, because he was so young. Also, he was raised in the Mormon church. He was like 23 on the first season of that show. And I think he just got exposed to better ideas. Yeah, the thing I don't like the most about this is that he was liking other people stuff too. Because like, I can understand of him,
Starting point is 01:18:49 if there's somebody with this cheating trauma, with his parents, and if there is some sort of, conservative upbringing, you see your partner in a bikini and you're like, that's a sin or some shit. But he's liking other ones. That gives like, I'm allowed to do, that's giving like Manosphere a hundred percent. One-way monogamy type stuff. I'm allowed to do this, but you can't. Yes.
Starting point is 01:19:09 Okay. Do you want me to read the next one or do you want to go for it? No, I don't like to read it. Okay. This one's a little different tone. So I'm writing because I've become concerned about the public social media activity of my married brother. Over a period of time, I noticed he has been leaving comments on Instagram photos of women,
Starting point is 01:19:21 the only fans looking kind that go beyond. casual compliments. Rather than simply liking posts or leaving fire heart emojis, he has publicly written statements such as calling someone the most beautiful girl in the world and claiming that he has sent her a gift. Seeing these comments surprise me because they appear to be openly flirtatious and are visible to anyone who views the post. My concern is not based on a single isolated interaction but on the nature of the comments themselves and the potential implication for his marriage and personal well-being. I know my brother tends to avoid conversations about stressful or emotionally difficult topics, so I've been hesitant to raise the issue directly. At the same
Starting point is 01:19:51 time I worry that this kind of public behavior could have unintended consequences, whether in his relationship or if he is interacting with accounts that are not genuine. I brought this to the attention of my sister-in-law, but she seems to be on the side of boys will be boys, and it's his money so he can decide how he spends it. Should I be concerned if she's not? Okay, I didn't, I glanced at it and thought I had my take, but I didn't know she'd already talk to his wife. I want to talk to the wife. I've never heard a woman be like, it's his money. Let him send gifts to these women. if he would like to. I mean, if that's your brother's relationship
Starting point is 01:20:26 and the wife's fine with it, then that it is none of your business. You're totally in your right to be like, this is embarrassing our family. Yeah. I see this and it's embarrassing and it's gross. Also, I'm curious how she's finding these comments. Like, how is she finding them on these accounts?
Starting point is 01:20:42 Right, because it's not the days of old where you could see this stuff in a feed, which still, I can't stress enough, was so insane those days. That was crazy. Like 2015. I'm curious how she's finding this out, but like, yes. Okay, if the wife did not know about it, I think you're totally within your right to say to your brother.
Starting point is 01:20:58 And it should be pretty easy. Like, hey, man, I noticed this. And it's fucking weird. And it's better that I say this to you than your wife. Again, it's one of those things if you never know what's going on in someone's marriage. But I know what's going on in my brother's marriage. I know that they're in a monogamous relationship. I can't even picture this scenario.
Starting point is 01:21:11 But if I saw it happening, I would assume something was going on with them. And maybe like parenthood had gotten to them. And I would be like, Matt, what's going on here? Is this like some outlet and you need validation? Like you can talk to me. I'm your sister. I love you. I wouldn't want to see this as your wife.
Starting point is 01:21:30 Is Steph aware of this? Has she seen this? Is this an agreement you guys have going on? Because if not, this is coming off as disrespectful. Like I would absolutely confront him in a kind way. But like I don't really see the point if the wife knows. But it sounds like maybe she can't stand up to him.
Starting point is 01:21:48 I don't know what they got going on. But it's still like none of your business. You talk to the wife and that's, it. She's like, it's his money and he'll spend it on OnlyFans models if he wants to. Okay. Well, yeah, because I glanced at this email and then you said, like, that's none of my business. I was like, that's absolutely my business. I'm going to say some of my brother. But now I see that like, like, it's interesting she went to the sister-in-law. It's just your standards for your own relationship are not other people's standards for their relationship and you can't force them on other people.
Starting point is 01:22:11 And like, I would like to. I would like to say to women, like have standards for how you're treated, you know, but not everybody does. I think that like we've seen everybody on the cast of Summerhouse screaming at Amanda Betula have standards for 10 years. She's not going to. She's not going to. I mean, it's also, this is a little bit of a difference between friends and family. Like in my family, you can say this shit. If my brother, my brother can, he can talk out a turn to me.
Starting point is 01:22:34 He can say some shit to me that I would say that's not your business. And he still would say it. Like, there was a fight we had years ago where I was going to do something and he really came at me and he was right. But I hate, didn't want to hear it in the moment. And he really was like, please don't do this thing. I was thinking of doing. I got so mad at him.
Starting point is 01:22:51 It was such a fight. My mom had to get involved. And like he was right because he was like, I think you're about to make a mistake. And so close siblings, close family members, I think you're allowed to be like, I'm seeing this thing and I got to say something. We're family. And it is better you than somebody else than their partner. Right.
Starting point is 01:23:08 All right. We solved it. You're welcome. Okay, guys. Well, again, last full episode in the LA Venice studio. Thanks for being along on the ride. Girls got to eat.com. Girls got a podcast, Instagram, and TikTok.
Starting point is 01:23:20 I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Follow along our trip this week. Follow along with Raina. Raina.greenberg on Instagram, reina greenberg. com for her tour tickets for the fall. It's coming up. Coming up. And subscribe on YouTube, watch on Spotify, full video or YouTube.
Starting point is 01:23:34 And we will not see you Thursday. Look at me. We are taking off the second and the sixth for the Fourth of July holiday. So we will see you guys on my birthday, July 9th, for a snoburn. next week. Have a great week and weekend, guys. Bye.

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