Girls Gotta Eat - Should You Date Down or Will it Ruin Your Love Life?

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Will less attractive guys treat you better? Are broke boys better in bed? These are the questions…and we have answers. We're discussing the dating trend of "Shrekking" (dating down when it comes to looks) and why some people think it's the move, and others say it will ruin your love life. We're also discussing dating expectations in general and what's realistic (and not realistic) to look for in one person. And we break down another "Should I break up with him?" email about when your passions in life don't align. Before we dive into the topic, we're recapping Ashley's (third and final) bachelorette in Vegas including Rayna's Chippendales performance, dress-gate in the Vegas mall, and being hot messes in the airport. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for live show tickets and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Square Space: Get a free trial at https://squarespace.com/GGE and use code GGE for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Winx Health: Get 50% off Winx at Walgreens at https://hellowinx.com/GGE. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at https://nutrafol.com with code GGE10. Saks Fifth Avenue: Head to Saks Fifth Avenue or saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want to start this by saying this conversation is going to feel really shallow, but we can't deny that... It's two people that used to be ugly. As two people that were Shrek. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Last episode of our special month.

It is flown by October. Yes. It's my special month. I'm sad that it's going to be over. What a month. We have the Vegas flu today. We really do. We are coming off of Vegas.

We will talk about it. The time is at 2.45 p.m. I've voiced no to you this morning. I was like, I'm going to be honest. The earliest I'm recording is too. And you were like, how about 1.30? I was like, yeah, for sure. I'll pick you up at 1.30.

Picked up at 155. I had to wake up and take my car to Jeep this morning because I've been like putting this off. Somebody knocked my mirror off. What was it a year ago? And I finally was like, and I got to the dealership and this guy goes, who goes, I got to be honest. you have five open recalls on your car.

And you were like, what does that mean? I told you in Sparkleias, it was four, because I was embarrassed, but it's five. And what does that even mean? It means that they've been emailing you for probably a year. Yeah. That there's maybe something wrong with your car. And I don't know.

Are people, every time you get an open recall, you're supposed to go to the dealer? Yes. The shame in his face and voice, like, I'm supposed to come here. That's a lot. I mean, Jaguar. I haven't had one. I have a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

It's not supposed to have, Jeeps are like great cars. I'm just supposed to go to the Jeep dealership. Not anymore, apparently. Make Jeep great again. That is a lot. I don't know. We do need my fiancee here to tell us the stats.

That's an automotive expert. I had to ask him this morning what it was. But no, but like what's normal? Like I haven't had one. How do you know? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure. Listen, you have a lot of emails in your inbox.

No, I'm positive. Okay. I would put my life on it. I swear I've never seen one of these emails, but he was like, we email you every time. So, like, is there an app or something I should have? He's like, you don't even have to pay for this. It's free. I have had one recall in my life as of late, and it was this kitchen, play kitchen I got

for my nephew. Probably, I think I got it for him when he was like one, and now he's three, and they still play with it. And now my younger nephew, Aaron, plays with it. And it's like this kitchen set. It's written so nice. It was like crazy the price for how high end it is. Sure enough, too good to be true.

A recall on it. But it was like not anything. that's going to like kill the kid. It just was like this one little thing. You know, like, you know what used to happen? Like, dressers were like falling off the walls and stuff like that. Like it wasn't nothing that was going to tip over and crush them, whatever, it's mounted to the wall, I think.

There was little pieces. It was like pots and pans or something. They like put in their mouth. Something was off with them and they sent like new pieces. Okay. Can I tell you? But it wasn't an issue. I have no concept of kids toys cost.

Like, you could tell me that that thing cost $100 or $1,000 or $1,000. And I would be like, that sounds right to me. Totally. Yeah, it was like sub 200 and could be a thousand. Like I couldn't believe it when I bought it. It was just like it's, it's so nice. The little carrots and the eggs and the chalkboard. Like it's the nicest play kitchen I've ever seen.

I think it was like 170 bucks. Okay, well, I'll have to pick your brain because I have to get my nephew. You got to get this kitchen. Let me ask you what you think about this. Okay. So my nephew is turning one next month. And my sister-in-law sent out like a gift registry. first birthday

and I was like are people doing this? And I was, I was made fun of her, obviously. And she was like, is there a party associated?

They're having like a first birthday party for him, yeah. And they live in London so they'll live anywhere near your family. So like we're not with him day to day.

And I, of course, made fun of her. And she was like, well, people have just been asking me a lot. What do I, what do you guys need?

And what do I get him? She's like, I didn't wake up and decided to do a registry. Like, we're good. Also, we have money.

money. Well, the thing, I guess the reason she's doing it is probably to not get a bunch of shit they don't need because everybody wants to buy cute little clothes and things like that. So Matt and Steph have always been really vocal about please don't bring this or don't bring anything or we need diapers or whatever. So I do understand. You're coming around to it. What's the what's on it? I haven't opened it. Is there toys on it? Toys on it feels a little greedy. We're going to open it live. I don't. I don't. I literally, I didn't even open it. I just immediately made fun of her.

I immediately just responded and made fun of it. It's called ThingsToGetMe.com. That's the name. It's pretty straightforward. Wow, okay. It is some toys. It's this high chair. It's a sweater.

A high chair. Toast puff muff. I don't know what that is. Okay. That sounds like something you'd have on your vagina. Yeah, it does. It sounds sexual. It's a lot of toys.

But I do see what you're saying. My family also does send him. I've been meaning to tell you this. My mom sent him a lab. boo-boo. Oh, a real one or Lafufu? I'm not sure. We're a Lafufu family. I think she didn't understand the irony of it. Like, it's scary for a baby. Look at that face. No, they love them. My nephews love it. So my brother recently was like, hey, quick question. Do you hate us? Because of the gifts, I keep buying for those boys. So, you know, match? No, like the ball pit.

The ball pit is an act of violence. Two boys. Two boys. Two little. little boys. And you're like, I know. So like a messiest thing in the world. Was the ballpitt last Christmas? Yeah, I think the ball pit was, yeah, because two Christmas ago, Aaron was in the womb or fresh coming out. But last Christmas I got the ball pit, it was such a hit.

It still is. It's like really stood the test of time. And then for Jay's third birthday, which was just a couple weeks ago of October, another special thing of October, I got him these like threaking RC stunt car remote. Like, you can tell those cars are flipping and going crazy and they're probably noisy. So there's like remote control cars that like do all these stunts. Run into walls. Yeah.

And the day I sent it, it was raining. So the boys were inside all day. My brother was like, you got to stop. Can you just get them to some shirts? I'm like, all like. And I was like literally their whole wardrobe is also for me. Like so many, you know, my favorite thing is like I've gotten them so many shirts on tour. So they're like, they're.

That little hot dog one from Cleveland. The hot dog Cleveland shirt now it's passed down to Aaron. Jay and I both have that shirt. And there's D.C. shirt. So anyway, no, it's just like, I think that and stuff are like, come on. But I'm like, so you're coming around to the registry. No, I'm not.

It's their favorite toys with these toys for me. They never would have put a ball pit on a registry. Exactly. They did suggest the kitchen. No, but if you were the parents, you would not, you would specifically be like, only get stuff on this list. At the top of the registry, no ballpits. I'm going to send him a ball pit.

Oh, my gosh. Let's thank our partners. Oh, okay. All right. Thank you to Squarespace. Get a free trial at Squarespace.com slash GGE and use code GGE for 10% off. your first purchase of a website or a domain and Winks help get 50% off winks at Walgreens and at hellowinks.com slash Gigi. And thank you to Nutraful. Get $10 off your first order

and free shipping at Nutraful.com with code GGE 10. And thank you to Sacks Fifth Avenue. Ever heard of it? Head to Sacksfith Avenue or sacks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style. Okay. We are going to talk about Vegas really quick because I don't want to forget. People wanted an egg carton update from me about did I get the egg carton, if you know, you know, to my fiance's bachelor party. I didn't get it shipped. We were too busy. I couldn't get to FedEx.

And I just didn't trust any of those guys to even handle it. I didn't want it to get to them after they left for the destination. So I did put it in his backpack, shove down, and he did find it when he got there. and I put a note in it in the carton that said, I hope you have an excellent bachelor party. Egg pods are hot. Yeah. Egg pods are hot right now.

So anyway, that's just the update. Just wanted to throw that in there. Can I tell you what's been happening? That's making me laugh so hard. So you have a lot of events for the week. We have so many friends flying in. So there's like Welcome drinks Thursday, Indian Party Friday, Halloween party, wedding. Ashley, I...

Oh, no. Are you fielding so many texts? I have made one-stop shop for. fashion for the week. And everybody's like very excited because it's so different than like get a dress for rehearsal dinner, get a dress for wedding. Like everybody's just like really into this like Indian outfit, Halloween outfit. But it is making me laugh so hard.

I'm feeling like, I'm feeling like five texts a day about it. And so I have, now I have all my outfits. I have five outfits starred in my phone, favorited. And so I'm just, I'm ready. I'm ready to shoot off the text for every person. I'm just like Indian outfit. I have my Halloween costume. This is where I'm doing my makeup.

This is where I'm doing my hair. it's what I'm wearing to a fish, so I'm droop the gown. Like, everybody, I'm just like, I'm locked and loaded. Well, thank you so much. I thought it was really funny because we were in a group chat with a friend, the three of us, and she started asking questions.

And Raina goes, can you text me separately about this? And I was like, no, it's okay. I have the time. But you were just like, you need to protect Ashley's peace. She's got a lot going on. But I will say, it is the one thing I'm having, like, a little guilt about is the amount of outfits I've, I'm making people do.

And I'm also like, for the Indian, event if you just want to wear the color scheme that's fine you i'm telling people like just you don't have to do the whole thing if you can't find a sari or langa but it is i'm asking a lot it's but it's that's what we're doing if you can dress for it or not you don't have to wear a Halloween costume but you're gonna regret it if you don't like no one's complaining unless they're complaining to you privately not one person it is a lot and i am aware and i'm just i think it's at least it's fun stuff and it'll be worth it and like some people julio galerati i guess this is this is a first Indian wedding.

Not that we're having an Indian wedding. You guys will say. But we are having the Indian ceremony event. And he is just, he's asked so many questions. He's like, I'm going to be dripped out. He told me he was like, my carda arrived. And I talked to your fiance about how to swag it up. People are just, they're excited.

I'm telling you not, not one. I mean, I don't think anybody would dare talk shit to me about it. I can't imagine even if somebody had a feeling about it that they would talk shit to me about it. But I don't know. when I travel for something, we'll talk about Vegas, like, I want to have like plans on plans on plans. I like a packed out itinerary. And so like, yeah, I guess you're asking a lot, but like, I like this is the activity and the look. This is the next activity and the look. Like, I don't know. I just, I want like, I want instructions. I want a lot of instructions.

Yeah, for sure. And again, do it or don't. I've been telling people yellow and orange if you need to. Yeah. Just get on Amazon. Yeah, exactly. Okay, well, thanks for doing that. You're welcome. It's been a lot. It's been so many people. But also now I know like what different people are wearing. So like I sent one thing, one person. I was like, well, Alyssa bought this.

So don't buy this. You know? Oh, yeah. So I've been like, people have been sending me like the same like revolve stuff. And so I'm like, so it's already bought this. You're like one man registry. I'm a registry. That is so funny.

Well, Vegas was incredible. The best 20 hours, right? We probably got landed. We're at the bar with the free Dom bought by a random. We sent our two prettiest friends to the bar ahead of time, and they sat there and got two bottles of Dom bought for them. But most, also friendliest. Most approachable.

Absolutely. Most approachable. Yeah. Taylor is my favorite personality hire. She'll be friends with everybody in the bar by the time you get there. Megan's like that too. Absolutely. Yeah.

So they got there and they know each other. coincidentally, we all met in Vegas. At that bar. I met at that bar, which was crazy. So we're on the plane. Rain and I are on the plane, sitting together for once. And they're like, hey, this dude just bought us a bottle of Dom, which if you're curious, we looked it up.

It's about $2.50, 260 in the store. It's $2,000 if you're going to buy a bottle of it at the bar. They're like, we're chatting with him. He's fine. You know, whatever. And then like, I don't know, 10, 20 minutes later, we're like, we're about to land. And they're like, he bought another one for you girls. And we're like, we'll see.

you soon. So we like hoof it to the bar. We never went to the pool. We never even met this guy. We never met him. Yeah. And they were saying the bartender thought he was bluffing when he, like the first and then the second, they had to go somewhere else to even get it. They don't just keep them under

the bar. At 2 p.m. Yeah. So they were like, this guy's good for it. So we stayed at the Cosmo, the Cosmopolitan, Las Vegas. And this is where Rain and I had our show last year. We kicked off the tour in 2024. It is truly our second home in Vegas. it is incredible. I feel so at home there and treated so well and the rooms are gorgeous, not a bad room in the place. I mean, they upgraded me to a suite, but all the rooms have these

incredible views and everything is there. So when we, I think we probably mentioned this last year, when we were there, we never left the premises. So when we got to the Cosmo last year, we went to the pool. We obviously, we went to dinner in beauty in Essex. We had our show. I had lunch at egg slut or whatever. Like everything is there. Party to Markey that night. and our show was in there. And marquee that night. Yeah. So I literally, when I reflected on last year, I was like, we never once left. We did a couple other things this time and we'll talk about it. But we just wanted to hype them. It's incredible hotel and we love it. If you want like a great view from your balcony, I feel like everybody wants these great balcony picks in Vegas. It's the fountain.

It's New York, New York. It's the statue of, what, the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffle Tower. Like, you see everything from there. The sphere. You can see the sphere from it on certain floors. And we just, like, adore the hotel. and we hope to perform there again if we go back to Vegas. And so shout out to them. And it was really nice to be in a suite because we had got our hair done together. And it felt like we could all be together, even in a regular size room. They're huge. You could all like be together.

I stayed with Sparkleized Sister. Our room was enormous. Yeah. Enormous. I barely knew shoes there. So we did that. We get there. We have some dom at the chandelier bar, gorgeous bar in the Cosmo.

Then we all got our hair done together. And then we went to dinner at Catch. This podcast seems to be sponsored by Catchley. They never let you down. I like Catch everywhere. And then we went to the Chippendales. And we had the Chippendales at our Vegas show last year. So we saw a little bit of it.

We saw their cowboy performance. Yeah, they tied me up and like rolled me down the stage. Raina was a part of it. And we loved working with them. And so we were so excited to see the show. It's at the Planet Hollywood. And they have their own dedicated theater. And they are incredible.

They're the goats. It's like they kind of started the whole thing. I mean, if you watch the TV show, I was obsessed with the, like, docu-series show. Well, it was like a dramatization of the, whatever. They're just, like, the trailblazers in the space, and the guys are so hot. I know, and it just, it really is like,

I like a lot of these, like, mail strip show kind of things, but there's a little more, like, schick with other ones that I don't need. Like a storyline. Yeah, like, I don't know. They just, like, got right down to big. They did construction workers. They did motorbike people. And then Ashley,

was like, you got to wear my veil. So they knew we were coming. Yeah. And we were coordinating with this woman named Allie. She'd already greeted us and everything. And they knew, like, they knew it was a bachelor party. So I was like, I know that they want me to be a part of this show. And it's just not for me.

Like, if it's never been for you, you've never liked this stuff. If Raina was like, hey, it's my bachelor's at and like Peloton wants me to co-instruct, you'd be like, Ash is going to do that. That's where Ashley's friend. You put on the veil. I would sit next to the bike and make jokes. And I got my moment in the sun. But for the being on stage and really getting humped and just thrown around, I was like,

Raina was born to do it. So I see Allie coming towards us. And I go, oh, my God, she sees me in the veil. And I ripped the veil up. I put it on Raina's head. She kind of sighed me for a second. And she was like, almost like I thought you were the bride. She asked me.

She goes, she's the bride, right? And I was like, don't make a thing of it. And she's holding a towel. That's all she's holding. And she comes over to me as a big towel. And she goes, okay, come with me. And I just got to blow out. I'm going to get white.

She goes, no, it's going to be fine. Oh, right. Yeah, you see the towel. You're like, what's going to happen? And she's like, it's for your pussy. She's like, I'm going to take care of you. It's fine. Yeah, it's for the floor.

Actually, you have to mop it up when you get done. And I go to the back. I see the bartender. I'm like, can I get a shot? And he's like, yeah, can you pay me? I was like, I'll pay you after her. And he gives me a tequila shot. Wait, really?

This is like BTS I didn't know about. He was like, I can't just give you alcohols. I'll pay you later. I'm going to be on the stage. Where am I going? I'm clearly part of this show. Do you not see the towel? You see my outfit?

Yeah. And then one of the guys took me to the back and explained to me. He's like, so basically he's going to be showering when you get up there and you're going to dry him off. And then you're going to get him dressed. So they walk me through this whole thing. And he's like, are you going to be uncomfortable? And I was like, I can't trust you enough how much I get stripped on. And that sounds like a problem.

You are in strip clubs. That one was like, no, I'm a performer. I'm always on stage getting stripped on. He, I'm so good at this. And he's like, okay, so we got you. So they lead me up on stage. There is a legit man taking a shower on the stage. It's so sexy.

Like, again, they're just the goats. They do it so well. So, yeah, this like hot meathead of a dude is like shower on stage, like being so sexual. Naked. Yeah. But the sock. Yeah, they don't show dick, obviously. They come close.

They make you touch it. But they don't. Okay. So he gets out of the shower and I had to like shipping around the stage. I had to dry him off and then I had to put his underwear on and then I'd put his shirt on and his pants on and he like gave me all these dances. I was on the stage for like seven minutes. Yeah, you were really like a part of the show and he was so like your type.

Like he reminded me of the very first stripper dancer I got for you as a Christmas gift in 2021 like how it all started. Like he had that vibe about him. So after it I actually, so I was like licking him and stuff. You guys don't even know. When I looked at Raina's tongue was on his bicep. He told me to kiss his biceps. No, you really, you kind of ad-lips.

I filmed a little video with him after. I was like, to be honest, was the best you've ever had. And he was like, you're amazing. Maybe we'll put it in the YouTube. Yeah, we'll put some on you. Guys, there's going to be assets, obviously, for this whole thing. It just was really fun.

Thank you for letting me have the veil. Honestly, I feel like I lived my dream. That is really the kind of, that's what I want to do. I want to be in the spotlight on stage getting stripped on. So they brought me up. Yeah. Yeah, throughout the show they break up a lot of people. So you were part of like three other women.

Oh, yeah, it wasn't just you and me. Yeah. There was a lot of, like plenty of other women that were doing stuff. There, it really is a lot of crowd participation. They brought me up during their Halloween performance. They did thriller. They had a Michael Jackson. They had a werewolf.

It was a great performance. And they just had me sitting in a chair and just like lightly touched me. So we have videos of both of these. The same guy who Raina showered with. He is lightly massaging. my shoulders. He goes, oh, you got a knot right there. Lightly massaging my shoulders. Raina's got her hands in his pants. Like, there's two different kind of girls. He has me bent over a chair. He hit my ass so hard. You see it reverberate like six times on the video. He spat your ass.

To me, just, oh, you got a little tension back in your shoulders. Yeah. And they had me sit up there and just kind of danced around me. And it was perfect. That's all I needed. I just don't want to be like thrust it into and thrown around. And you do. I love it. It was really great. And they were just so wonderful. It's fun. So if you guys happen to be in Vegas, definitely we recommend Chippendales. It was really fun.

Yeah. And it really just got me so excited for our holiday shows because those type of shows, the energy is so electric. And you really feel it the second they start in that room. You know, you kind of walk in, you're like, what are we getting into? You know, and it's a nice vibe,

but you're like, what is about to happen? And the second it kicks off, you're screaming. You're like, don't even expect to be. And when we do our, our shows, we have incredible audiences and you guys are like screaming and cheering and you keep that energy the whole time. And of course, our audience sits and listens when we tell stories. It's not nonstop screaming.

But I'm always like, man, our audience has so much like energy for this and it's so hot and we don't get to participate in that. We're on stage. We're the talent. And so we don't go to many shows where we're acting like that. And so to be in the audience, like I, you don't. lost your voice. You know, like, we were just like hollering and going crazy, dancing in the aisles, like the whole time. And there are similarities. Obviously, we have male dancers at our shows,

and we will have them at the holiday shows. And so you guys can expect that. But like, it's not the same thing, but there's a lot of similarities. And it just felt nice to be like, oh, like, we provide this type of environment, too, that is so electric and people are going crazy. And to be on the other side of it, it just got me so excited for our shows. Oh, well, I'm excited too. Well, you guys, it's just two nights only. It's just two nights only. LA, Saturday night, December 6th, and New York, Saturday, December 13th. You can get those tickets to GirlsGotty.com, and we'll see you there, and we're so, so, so excited.

And it just is, like, such girlhood, like, the other women in that show, we were all in the lobby afterwards and talking to people, and you feel really bonded, and that's what we see at our shows, and people make friends, and ask a lot, should they come alone, and you absolutely should come alone. No one comes alone and doesn't make friends. and people just always have that type of really girlhood bonding experience. And so, bring your mom, bring your daughter. Yeah, grandmother. Remember that grandmother, Minneapolis?

I'll never stop talking about her. Brought me to tears. And then that was only the beginning of the night. So we, after that, we went to excess, which is a nightclub at the encore at the win for the chain smokers. And it was just incredible. I mean, they didn't start till 1.30 in the morning. we had this table behind the stage. Our friend Megan hooked it up.

It was incredible. They lead us back there. We were talking about the hospitality in Vegas, the way you're treated. And I see when you're expending money or whatever. But I just love it. I don't feel like anyone is that accommodating and hospitable in other cities that are touristy-type cities. Like Vegas is the top, top. And I just feel like everyone is so wonderful.

And so they lead us back to our table. It's right behind the stage. And they had the big signs, like letters that said, Ashley, I like lost my mind. I couldn't believe it. I was just like, I'm not worthy. And so shout out to excess. And the chain smokers, that's where they always are. You saw them there before, too.

So I'm in, yeah, and in April, they're always there. I don't know if it's called a residency or not, but they're just like mostly there. It's just, there's so much fun to see live. It's so wild. And we stayed out to like 3.30? Yeah. No drugs. No drugs.

No drugs. A lot of tequila. That was the most I've drank in a long time. Yeah, it's the most I've drank it a long time. And we had the best server, like, like table server who was making us these little mini shots. Like with grapefruit. We were just like slamming them back and, I mean. Our shoes off the minute we walked in there, thank God.

Yes, shoes off in the club. I've never had blisters like this in my life. My feet were killing me. No, thank God that I'm not wearing open-toed shoes for your wedding because I don't know that I'll be okay by next week. Oh, were you fucked up? I am fucked up. We were supposed to transportation from dinner to the Chippendales and we hopped in this limo.

They told us we could and then we got confused. We had to get all the limo. And so we're like, let's just walk. We got to go. We got to get there. And Raina was like, are you guys kidding? I just, I don't, were you okay? I was like so physically. My feet really hurt. I'm not, I hate heels. You know, I'm not good on heels.

I was wearing seven inch high heels. I thought I was going to throw up the back of my feet or sliced open. I got blisters on both sides. I got a big bruise on my ankle. Thank God. I got nothing open-toed. Everything for your wedding is long. So I have actually, I think mostly closed-toed shoes. And I don't think anybody's going to see my feet that weekend. I can't decide. Well, Vegas always wins when it comes to Raina. And Raina in the Vegas airport on a Sunday is such a treat. So I remember one time we went, you were eating pizza at 10 a.m. There's this pizza. I don't think you were you supposed to see that.

Like I ran up on you. I was like, oh, pizza, okay. And this was one of my favorite renal moments. So we're going through security. We had just seen like a girl's got to eat fan who was like, oh, my God, Ashley, we saw a lot of fans in the airport. So Rana gets pulled for a security check. She puts her bag on the belt.

She had a little trouble. I was like, put your bag in the belt. Like she had it on her shoulder walking up. to go through security. I'm like, put it on the belt. So she puts it on the belt and then just stumbles up to go through. They pull her. They're like, you've got to go through the big tube, whatever.

You've been picked for a random screening. So I walk through normally and they held her for quite a while. So I'm waiting for her. And I'm like, I guess I got to grab her bags. So I grab her bag and hold it for her. And then everyone crowding around to get their bags. Someone goes, whose phone is that? Someone had put their phone loose on the belt.

Just raw dogs. on the belt. Someone's phone popped out. It's rolling down. And people are like, what's phone is that? And I'm like, oh my God. So I'm like, I think that's Raina's phone. No way. She would never. I pick it up and I see her still waiting to go through the- yells at me from across the- across the entire security line. Is this your phone through the security tube? And she's, yeah, through the x-ray machine. And she's like, it is. And I'm like, I just threw your phone on the belt. Who has ever done that? She's like, stop embarrassing me. I'm at the airport every week.

I don't understand how even did this. I was just so defeated. You were like, put your bag down. I was like, okay. So then we're getting close to our gate. And Raina's like, I really want some Vegas merch. And so you pop into this little store. I got a water and some snacks.

And I check out. You're nowhere to be found. I'd go to the bathroom. So I'm like, she'll figure it out. So I go to the bathroom. And I meet this girl's got to eat listener in the bathroom. And her name's McKenzie. And I was like, Raina's out there.

And I just knew she would tell you I was in the bathroom. So I finally come out of the bathroom And you're there and you're standing there McKenzie runs out to me She's like, hi, oh my God, hi! And I was like, hi, no sound was coming out of my body yesterday. You had to talk to a lot of people from me. And I was like, hi.

And she's like, I'm such a fan of the podcast. And I wanted to tell her that Ashley's around here somewhere But I couldn't get the words out. And she goes, Ashley's in the bathroom. And so literally, as soon as McKenzie walked out of the bathroom was like, she'll tell Rain I was in the bathroom. I just knew she would. I didn't know where you were on.

McKenzie told me. Yeah, I was just like, McKenzie's got this. I was having a rough day yesterday. Then we landed, we met fans that had just gotten engaged. They're telling us their entire engagement story. I couldn't smile hard enough or talk less. I felt so bad. Both of them were just yap, yap, yap, and about their engagement story.

And if she knew or not, her manicure, and I wanted to be, like, so happy for these people. And I could not talk. I had to carry the whole thing. Like, I had to carry every fan encounter yesterday. I was like, wow, actually so nice. Raina is not. Just stands there and smiles. I was white knuckle in that last experience.

I was smiling so hard. I was like, this is going on forever. And I can't talk. Do you know how hard it is listening people talk and not be able to talk about? I know. So congrats to them. But it was just a wonderful trip. And my future sister-in-law, my fiance's sister came.

And so that was so amazing. And you guys have met once, maybe. We did like a brunch one time. So I loved having her there and getting to experience that with her. There was his one time where we were chivalon nails in this guy. Like he'd turn around. You could like see his. full butt and I like said out loud.

I was like that looks like my fiance's butt and Raina goes, oh my God. She was like, Ashley said too much to drink. You said it right to her. Like you didn't even say it to me. You said it to his sister. Little high and tight butt. I said it and she goes, oh my God. And Raina was like, I'm sorry.

She said too much. Even me. I mean, nothing makes me go like what the fuck. But I was like, does I black out? She laughed. She's so cool. But the way Raina just was like laughed out loud. It was like, you've had too much to drink.

Keep it in the box. Don't tell your fiance's sister what his butt looks like. Honestly, it's worse than if she had to watch those guys strip on you and touch their dicks and stuff. Someone picked her up. I was, like, loving it. She was just down for whatever. She's so spicy in that pink outfit.

She has like a look about her. Uh-huh. Yeah, she's like a very, like, sexy look about her. So someone just scooped her right up. I love to see it. I've fun with her. But I just love Vegas so much. Canstress her?

20 hours in Vegas. Yeah. I want to like land at 4 p.m. I want to gather at 11. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. To see. And we've become so accustomed to flying from L.A.

And I always think it's like 20 minutes, but it is like 40. And once we were in there for like 20 minutes, I'm like, are we ready to land yet? Like I always want to think it's like just down the street. But it is kind of 40 minutes. It's still a legitimate flight. Yeah, it is. It's a little bit of a flight. But I loved it.

I was so excited. We did it. So Bachelor parties are over. Yeah. Three makes Vegas. I don't know what I'm supposed to do this weekend. You've been planned my weekend yet. If you guys were listening, we'll just pass.

So you probably would have seen what Raina did. but whatever we go. I'm laying low. What am I? Ashley, you've planned like so many of my weekends for so many months. Brittany did ask me last night, do I want to go to New York this weekend? And I was like, I can't do it, dude. No.

I can't do it. Well, you're going right after the wedding. I'm also, I'm dedicating this weekend to finalizing your ceremony. So I want to like run it and run it and run it and run it. Oh my God. And make it like really perfect. So I have declined to go to New York. Yeah, I don't, this is just completely like lay low.

weekend and I've said this before I was never on like a weight loss mission or anything like I just am happy with my body and this is what it is and but like when I got my dress when I had to take it to alterations to get at hem they in so many words were like you can't gain a pound sis and I was like all right so I'm just going to be like eaten clean I mean I'm a little worried about the hours we got for the itting ceremony on Friday because there's no give in mind there's no elastic or around that waste or around the bust at all. And we got measured a month ago. Yeah, like I haven't gained weight.

But what's on my mind is just Saturday is the end of the festivity. So I've been out doing stuff Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. And I do be getting bloated. I know. I'm a little worried. This isn't like a, I'm too fat for my dress or anything. I'm just like, there's a little bit of a concern because it won't button. I know.

I don't. I don't know. We'll figure it out. It's going to be great. Yeah, it's going to be great. So anyway, this weekend I'll be laying low and not eating. Just kidding. No, I'll eat.

A lot of protein, low carb. No, listen, I do actually want to talk about the outfits situation. Speaking of outfits in Vegas. So we went, we had to go to the mall here in Vegas because Megan wasn't sure what to wear and she wanted like a sparkly dress. We walked into the store and this guy starts talking about. He's such a great salesman. And he picked out this outfit for her that was like, I don't know how to describe it.

It was just like a corset top with a match. watching rooshed mini skirt faux leather. The tightest skirt. Oh, I mean, the whole thing, it was a skin tight outfit. Could not breathe in it, skin tight. He's like, I actually have this in all these colors. He's like, I got this white. And so he's like, it looks perfect on you.

So you try it on. You and Megan are both very tall and thin. And he was like, you're not even going to believe this. We have one in white and it's a mistake. We weren't even supposed to get this in white. He was like, look at her. She's bridal. You have to wear this.

You have to wear this. And I'm like, oh, my God. I guess I have to wear this. So I'm like, I'll try on the white. And he's like, you're never going to believe this. I have five colors. And for some reason, Megan, like, misunderstood what the price of this whole outfit was. She thought it was like 50 bucks.

And she's so generous. And she's like, I'll get them for everyone. My treat for the weekend. My gift to Ashley, we all wear the same outfit. And I was like, I knew it wasn't going to look good on me. I just, I know the cuts that look good on my body. And I am really proud of my body. I think I look great.

I'm so confident. I think I look great. But I knew that that thing was not going to look good on my body. It is a leather, roached skin tight. It hit me right at the back of my thighs. It like buckled all the cellulite on the back of my thighs. I could barely walk. You look great in it.

And my knees were all wrinkly right under them. I got my period the day before. I'm so bloated. I'm a little foop at the top. Like it's just, I think I look great. It's there's some cuts I would never wear. I just wouldn't pick them out. You need like longer, thinner legs for that type of outfit.

And so I put it on and I was like, I looked like a sausage case. No, first of all, no, you did it. Yes, I did. The length, I will, it was not a mini skirt on you. It was more of a midi vibe. It was more of a pencil skirt vibe on you. Yes, so I was bloated, so I had like my foo at the top. It was not good.

And I really was trying to play ball because it's your weekend. And you were like, wouldn't it be cute if we wore these? And I was in the dressing room, pouting so hard. I was just like, I saw the rest of my night ahead of me, just like being so mad and so uncomfortable. But I'm like, it's her weekend. And I want to play ball. If everybody wants to wear these out.

outfits like I am going to do it even though I'm so physically uncomfortable in this and then we saw the office for like $500 and I was like oh thank God. Yeah we thought they were like 50 bucks and we were like wouldn't this be so cute and of course I'm not going to force anyone to wear anything they're uncomfortable in but like it was just like a fun would have been like such a funny moment such a fun photo op and then we saw the price and then we are like the sales guy had like he's incredible and he had done such a good job and he was so fun to be around and so we're huddled up in the dressing room like what are we And he was out there like, everything okay, ladies? Basically, like, I'm about to make that commission on $2,000.

They were $400 outfits, five of them. So it was $2,000 clearly working on commission the way he was hustling us. And so we're like, we can't buy these. This is not a joke anymore. The way my day brightened up when I realized how much money those cost. I know. Because you two looked great. And I really would have done it.

But there's just certain cuts that I don't care about. Well, I actually would have still worn it. and obviously not expected anyone else. Like maybe Megan and I just would have matched. And in the dress room, I was like, I was like, it feels a little cheap. Like the vibe is, it feels not quality. Like, so I was like, but you know,

if it's 50 bucks total for the outfit, fine. This is fine. And then when they were like, the top alone is 250, I was like, this thing. Say what? Audacity. So anyway, Megan still bought hers and she looked phenomenal.

And I'm glad we gave that guy some business because he was great. Yeah. But that was our shopping excursion. And then right after that, Raina spots the sparkly dress in the store for 60 bucks. And you bought it. And you never looked better. I loved that dress. Yeah, it was really fun.

I looked like one of the performers for Trippendales. Yeah. I these sparkly shoes and sparkly bag. I just loved it. I love Vegas. All right, that's the Vegas. T. Let's just take a quick break and thank our partners.

Okay. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and exceed online, whether you're just starting out or managing your own growing brand. Squarespace makes it easy to create beautiful websites, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on your terms. So Ashley and I've used Squarespace for the Girls'Cuddy website since day one. We bought the domain from them.

We've built the website on Squarespace. I've used it for my personal website for years. You use it for your personal website. And I just love it. It is so easy to use. It's so user-friendly. It makes your business look so beautiful and professional. And I think a lot of people are a little nervous in terms of.

building a website because they're just like how will I figure this out. And there's tons of templates you guys can choose from. And really you can just plug and play your own copy or photos. And there's a lot of like AI design intelligence. It's going to help you do that and make your strongest creative potential for the website. They also have Squarespace payments. So it's a super easy way to manage your payments in one place with them. You can connect all your social accounts. So obviously when you go to our website, you'll be able to link out. You just see like every Instagram post that we do on there. You can sell content. They have SEO tools for you as well.

So when you go to The Girls'GasGite site, everything is managed through there. So our merch, all of our past episodes, we have all of our partners in there, catalogs of every single thing that we've ever done really is there, and it's so easy. It's just one space. So you guys can head to Squarespace.com slash GGE for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use GGE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Yes, we love it.

Like Raina said, it's like the only thing I've ever used, we've ever used, can't recommend it enough. Don't even, nothing else even matters. Okay. And this episode is also brought to you by Sacks Fifth Avenue. All right, maybe this will be the last week. I'll share a wedding dress. Then I'll move on to something else when we talk about Sacks.

But every week I like to pull up and talk about, you know, something that I hope someone wears to my wedding. And I just wanted to mention, like, Sacks is so easy to shop. I'm literally looking at women's wedding guest attire dresses. Like category, I'm going to a wedding. Here's why I should wear it. Raina, there's that Alice and Livia floral dress. What are looking at?

Raina loves this Alice and Livia. Floral maxi dress. You have everything from Reformation. to ALC, to Lila Rose, Veronica Beard. And they also just have stuff for every day. If you want to have to the airport, if you want gifts, obviously the holidays are coming up. They just have so much stuff that obviously you just don't see on like every single website too.

So you're not doubling up on stuff that everybody's gifting or buying for themselves. Yeah, you could get everything for all of people on your holiday list. I mean, not just clothes, of course. They have everything for men, for kids, for home. First birthdays. Amazing. Yeah. first birthdays. If you have a first birthday party that they registered for maybe a little designer

sneakers for a one year old. We just love it so much. And like Raina said, you do find stuff that you just haven't seen elsewhere. You can find stuff for date nights, work vacations, or just lounging at home, working out, going to work. We're just such fans of it. And you guys can also do in-store styling and you can check out how they've styled stuff and work with an online stylist as well. So if you don't know where to start, how to style something or look for different ways that you want to dress, your fall fashion, that's a great place to go. So we really love it. So if you guys are like us and you're in your fashion era or you have a big event going up and you want something to wear, check out Sacks. Shopping should be fun and easy. You guys can head to Sacks

Thith Avenue or Sacks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style every day. Okay, so we have such a fun topic today. What are we talking about? Like how do you categorize it? Dating Uggos. Dating Brokos. No. It's just dating what you like wouldn't normally go after I think changing your standards. Oggos versus broke boys working title. No. So we are going to talk about the dating trend of Shrekking, which basically means going after less conventionally attractive guys in the hopes that they will treat you better. And we're going to get into it and discuss it on a few different levels and provide some nuance and talk about some polls we put on our Instagram today. But before that, we want to do.

read this email, which sort of ties in, but I just found it really interesting, and I think this email is so relevant to girls got to eat for one. And then we'll kind of get into more of the Shrek game. So yeah. Okay. So the subject line is, would you break up with a bad cook? So she writes, I have a question that's been on my mind for over a year. Would you break up with a guy who's a bad cook? It's so much deeper than that. It's so, I'm surprised. She titled it that. Yeah. Because at first I I was like, bitch, what? I know. I know. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. She writes, I love food. It's so important to me. It's not my career. But my parents taught me from a young age that although we didn't have much money, good food was a requirement. I'm in my 30s and have an office job now. But I've worked as a cook, server and culinary instructor for years. Good food is a part of a good life. It's like you kind of where it's like not what you're doing now, but you've like worked in the industry. She's me. Yeah, exactly. So she said that's not the case for my boyfriend. He loves me and is committed to making this work, but is a terrible cook. We've dated for over two years and live together, but he doesn't seem to get it. He hates going to. He hates going. out to eat. He doesn't seem to understand why we would pay for food when we have it at home.

When he cooks at home, he commits to the worst cooking sins. He will put moldy, sour-smelling veggies veggies veggies in a skillet, crack a few eggs directly into the unheeded pan, shell pieces too, and call it dinner. I don't need meals to be perfect or Michelin Star, but he doesn't even know how to do baseline things. I could teach him, but I'm in my mid-30s and just tired. And while I love cooking, I can't do it every night. I would just like to be able to rely on my man to cook me dinner without having to worry. I wouldn't mind if he got takeout, but he doesn't even do that. To him, food is fuel and nothing else. To me, it's sacred. Any advice or jokes, welcome. I mean, to me, I guess anything would be a deal breaker if you feel like it is,

if food is your whole life, if going out to eat, if traveling to go on food adventures, like, if that's your whole life, which it is for a lot of people, it would be tough, but like, does he check the box for everything? Is he treat you well? Does he make you feel special? Does he excite you? Is it sex good? Is he honest and trust for all these things? I mean, I am this girl. Like food has been my whole life. Every holiday. holiday or family event revolves around food. My mom cooked dinner every night. I couldn't wait to see what she made.

I went to college school. I worked in restaurants my whole life. Food's like very, very important to me. And it would be tough for me day to day to be with somebody that's just like food is fuel. Like that's a specific type of person. And I don't want to feel judged because this is how I spend my money. This is how I spend my time. I want to do with three dates with that guy last year and he told me ate Chipotle every day.

Chipotle boys. Chipotle boys. And he told me ate Chipotle. seven days a week for lunch. And I was like, what do you do for dinner? And he's like, macro is really important to me, a certain type of lifestyle. Like, you don't really care about going out to eat.

It was just like, I cook the same like boiled chicken and rice every day. It's a huge deficit for me in a relationship. Yeah. This email felt so egregious to me. I like questioned if it was real. Like, I'm not saying she's lying, of course. But I was like, this is like one strike too many with. the not caring about food and restaurants, but also saying we can cook at home, but also not

being a good cook and also not wanting to do takeout. Like it, I guess it is his personality. He's like anti-good food or he just literally doesn't care. It's like truly, like she said, it's just fuel. He's only eat to live type of person. But it is honestly such a deal breaker for me. I couldn't do it. Like, you can have one of those red flags, but not both.

You know, like, I read this to my fiancé and we talked about it. And I was thinking of some different guys I know. I think of, I mean, my fiance, for one, loves to cook and try new things. And he's an incredible cook. But he also really likes to go out to eat. He's also just kind of down for whatever. I think more about, like, my brother and Rob. I remember when I first started hanging out with Rob, one of my best guy friend,

Raina's good friend now, too. He was like, I don't know. I just like, don't like to go out to restaurants that much. I like love to cook. He was a phenomenal cook. And I was like, really, I just love going out to eat. You know, and he was like, I don't know. I got this big house and that cook all the time.

So this is someone that's like doesn't want to do the restaurants and is kind of like we have food at home. But the food at home is bomb too. And also now, Rob, I feel like goes out a lot more. And my brother, too. Also, cooking together is a really special important thing that you can share with somebody. And I could forego going out to restaurants with somebody if that's what we shared together at home. But then I'm thinking about it. Like, I do think people that love food just love food.

They like to cook at home and they like to go out to eat. Like, it's just exciting. to them, but I couldn't deal with both. There's no way in hell. And I think food is so much more important to me than I ever realized. I don't know. It's just a huge part of my relationship. And it, like, will be forever. We tell each other what we have for lunch, then we cook dinner together. We go out to eat. We get excited. We have a list of restaurants we want to try. He sees something on TikTok and wants to make it. Like, we are a food couple. And I guess there are, I was thinking of comparable passions, like fitness, I guess.

Like I think there are certainly people that fitness is so important to them. They really couldn't be with someone who didn't value it. And I get that 100%. All doorsy stuff, camping, hiking, whatever, that type of thing is. Food feels a little different because you've got to eat. It's like it's this part of life that we all share. And it's okay if you're not interested in it. But if you are really interested in it, I don't see how she could be with this guy.

But if everything else is great and you can get past it, then fine. but she's not wrong for asking this question. I mean, food is probably my number one hobby. Like, in terms of going out to eat, like on my phone, I have a list of restaurants in New York I want to go to and restaurants in L.A. I want to go to. I have a list of food travel destinations I want to go to.

Like, this is the number one thing I spend my money on. Yeah. Like, it is my, to your point, my outdoor activity kind of thing or my exercise kind of thing. Food is the thing for me. So a person that just was like, we don't need this. It's silly.

Also would probably shame me for how I spent my money and my time and would think that it was kind of superfluous. And I don't know. It's a bummer. And I've always said I could be with somebody who didn't understand food,

but it was still excited about food. Yeah. Like I have a deep knowledge of the restaurant industry and chefs. I was rattling off all kinds of crazy stuff on the way over here.

Yeah. And I don't need you to be like that. But if you're like down, like go to Queens with me and have Indonesian food. Like, I want you to want to do that shit and you're excited that I can take you on that journey. She says I wouldn't mind

if you got takeout. He doesn't even do that. Here, there's a whole other layer of it too that she sounds like she's got her shit together and she just wants him to take care of her sometimes and take care of dinner sometimes. And that's, we get into like love language territory and what someone's doing to provide for you and the relationship. It is really so interesting. You really are at such an impasse with somebody when you're like, what's important to me

is that at the end of the day, you work with me to figure out how we're going to eat. And they're like, I don't care about eating. Like, the fact that this guy's like, we have food at home. It's like, is the food in the room with us? Is it the old veggies with the eggshells? Is it edible? Is it edible? That's so funny.

We have food at home. Yeah, is it edible? Like, you're asking them to compromise with you on something that they fundamentally do not care about. Like, that's tough. And, like, you know what a thing I never had seen on TV before was Love is Blonde UK season two? That couple goes grocery shopping together. And she was like, I like to have snacks in the house, like cheese and cookies. and he was like, I would never, ever have stuff like that in the house.

I've never seen a couple have that type of conversation on like a dating reality show. Yeah. Like you're just fundamentally misaligned with what you put in your body three times a day. That was so interesting. We never really broke that down. And she had had some eating disorder issues. So she was triggered by him saying like, oh, you want cake, which I do understand also someone who fucking loves cake.

But they were just mismatched in that way. And I think they worked through it eventually and they obviously didn't work out. But like they had like a real moment in the grocery store on like, we are not the same. And listen, if this guy is a great partner in all these other ways and she wants to stay with him, she needs to remove the food from the relationship and do all the food stuff with her friends, with whoever else matters in her life, because he's never going to get there, I don't think, and just make it stop mattering and forge ahead. But she is certainly not wrong for asking us if this is a deal breaker.

Like, I was just thinking about how important it is. And again, I don't have Raina's track record with food. But like, I'm going to group chat with my. fiance, my brother and my sister-in-law about, just about food, about what we cook every night. Like, it's all food picks. Matt sent his bolognay's last night. It's just really, like, it's such a huge part of my life that goes without saying. I'm trying to, like, wrap my head around a person who does not care about food.

They don't want to order food. They don't want to cook food. They don't want to go out to eat. Like, I can't, it is like me dating somebody that, like, wants to go on, like, long bike rides every day and I can't ride a bike. Yeah. I mean, we know a couple guys that. will not date women that don't ride bikes.

I'm out. And that's okay. Even people that I know that do not care about food. So like, okay, so our former videographer is video in your wedding this weekend, big outdoor person, he is like the most like Ray and I eat Taco Bell seven days a week. Like he's the most that kind of person I've ever made. But like we took him to this amazing sushi restaurant for his birthday last year.

And he said it was like one of the, even his mom texted me like about how special that was to him. And he was like, that was one of the best meals in my life. Like he can appreciate it. He appreciates it. I was in Chicago last week and I was like, I was like, you would have laughed at me. I went to this fast food restaurant, went to Nando's.

And I was like, I could have the world in my fingertips. And he was like, I'm judging you for this. Like even that person who like does not care is like I'm excited by it. She's not going to change him, this guy. But is he being stubborn and not willing to try? You know what I mean? Like there's just things when you start to. being a relationship with someone that they're passionate about,

that you don't really care about, that you at least express some interest and try a little bit because it's meaningful to them. You know what? I just like, I don't know what I would do. I was like sort of interested in somebody for 30 seconds who really likes golf and tennis and skiing.

And I was like, what? The trifecta. What would we do? Trifective stuff I can do. He doesn't go camping. And he likes fancy stuff. But like,

what would I do? I don't know. I don't know how to do any of those things. Yeah. Exactly. Like, you're going to, you need to be with a food person. It's when I think about growing old with someone, I'm like, that's what's going to keep things interesting in 50 years is what are we going to whip up for dinner?

You can't ride a bike anymore. You can't ski or golf or play tennis, not that I ever could. Food to me is like, it's comparable to like a zest for life. So like, can this guy fuck? I know. I really want to know. Hey, sis, can you let us know if he can fuck dying to know. He definitely does not eat pussy.

He's like, you know, I hate to eat. like, well, he does like, say he likes, like, stuff. It tastes weird. That's his only thing he likes to eat. If he's passionate about eating pussy, we can work with it. That's his favorite meal today. But, you know, she's, she wants to do. Is it a deal breaker?

I don't know. Is this how you want to spend all of your time and all of your money? Then maybe. Yeah. It absolutely could be. So keep us posted. I'd feel like it's often on this podcast is break up with him. Not always.

I do think we want to provide. I feel like we have nuanced advice about the stuff all the time. Yeah. We need more information. So, how much money does he make? What does he look like? Yeah, how tall is he? Which brings us to Shrekking.

Is he an Ogo? Okay, so Shrekking, the term came out more in the summer, August, and, you know, it's been, it's been covered, but we just wanted to talk about it, and it really is like dating down. I like this New York Post article. They said Shrecking is dating down and settling for ugly partners, but it may just ruin your love life experts worn. So basically it comes from Shrek, which Princess Fiona dates down, and ends up with this ogre. and the mind's the reason behind is that they'll treat you better because you're out of their league

yeah so that they'll they'll just they'll try harder they'll show up more and they'll be better to you because they are aware that you're out of their league however do you let me ask a question do you think that ugly ugly men look in the mirror and think that they're ugly because okay Like, this is assuming that they know that they're ugly. And nothing is more common than a man who just thinks that they're the best when they are so mediocre. True. I don't know that men look in the mirror and think that, like, they are so ugly. Well, it just depends.

I think there are a lot of delusional men out there. Yeah. And then, yeah, I do feel like, I think there's a lot of people, men and women who are like, I know I'm not attractive. just based on the way I'm treated or I don't know, which is like a sad thing. But yeah. They know that I'm pretty privilege. Yeah.

I think that there's like men that are like, I'm short, but I'm tall standing on my money. And there's like, I might be ugly, but like, who cares? Because I have like friends and access and money and a career and all this other stuff. Yeah. And I want to start this by saying this conversation is going to feel really shallow. But we can't deny those. It's two people that used to be ugly. As two people that were Shrek.

As a woman that was just the. last girl in the bar at 3 a.m. And would fuck guys way out of her league and actually thought she was going to get a call back. I'm allowed to talk about this. As a girl who had bad teeth, no eyebrows, I was always bloated. As a girl who really, listen, I was a strong five, but I was out kicking my coverage every night.

The things I took home. I got to tell you, this one time I hooked up with this guy. And I brought him back to my place again. It was just like a drag back. A drag back. Last call. And we go home and like he was so cool. We had like a funny, we hooked up, whatever.

We had a funny rapport. I remember the next morning we woke up. It was like Super Bowl Sunday. I remember joking around with him the morning. He was so nice to me, but he was so much more attractive than me. I was like, I'm in love with him. Obviously. Clearly.

You know, I had Dewey. He was like so cute to Dewey, whatever. I remember going to work when I worked at this PR agency then following Monday. And I knew he went to the same college as a girlfriend of mine. And so I asked her about him. I said his full name. She goes, really? Really.

Really? Turns out he was like from this rich family. Like when I tell you he was a fucking 12. That tone is so insulting. Fucking miss me with that tone. No, but I think she said a thousand words with that really. She was not wrong. Whatever, I figured it out.

I'm not, you know, I look better now. I'm not saying like the hottest woman in the world. But I knew, you know, but I was like, but I am funny and cool. And maybe, maybe he'll date me for my personality. So we just want to explain why we're authorized to speak on this. And also, can I just say that, like, as someone who spent 15 years in the South, like the South invented Shrekking, like the whole South is beautiful women with the most

mid, poorly dressed. Try to find a chin on a man in the South. Okay. Their faces just go straight into their neck. And like I'm not saying the women are like gold diggers. I mean, some of them are, but you just see it a lot. You see so many mismatched couples in the South. And a lot of it is like regional hair and clothing and just the what is considered a good look.

Like I got to Clemson and I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what is the what who? I cannot believe the way these guys look. Like I am so dried up from like this look. and I'm like, you're telling me that guy is a commodity. And I was like, I'm going straight athletes for the rest of the four years. Like, I was like, these white fraternity guys are so not for me in the way that they looked. And they would be with like the most beautiful women on the campus.

And this is like kind of an aside. Cacky, belt, button down shirt, same haircut. Yeah, like the floppy hair and the outfits and the flip flops and just the overall vibes. And like has never lifted a weight. I mean, some of them, you know, the pikes were lifting weights, but the Sigma News. Not in Indiana, including Indiana. I think I slept with half of Sigma Nu.

If you went to Sigma Nu between the years of 2004 to 2008, the chances are I slept with you. So we want to get into it, but I just have to read a couple of these quotes of the dangers of Shrekking, which I thought was very funny. So Amy Chan, who we have had on the podcast multiple times, we re-released her incredible breakup boot camp episode, what, a month or two ago at this point, she writes, In this plot line, you're dating an ogre without the princess treatment. Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time. And that in itself isn't a bad thing, she explained. But when it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they're dating down and looks, they'll automatically be treated better.

And then another quote from the article said, this new phrase highlights a major problem in modern dating, the implication that daters can know how someone will treat them based on looks alone. And in reality, those two are not linked. and that's what we heard from our audience. And like you can't assume this, not even close. So we really, we pulled our audience about this. And almost like 100% across the board,

there's just, there's no correlation between the way somebody looks and how they're going to treat you. And a lot of people actually said that like people have a chip on their shoulder from kind of growing up and probably not being treated as well as people around them. A nice person is going to treat you well no matter what they look like. So there's no correlation between what's, looks like. And I don't know. I mean, I'm sure nobody would outright tell a person I'm dating you

because you're less good looking than me and I want you to prioritize me. But I don't know if that's the vibe. I could also see somebody being like, I know what you're here for. Yeah. I mean, if you tend to be attracted to men who are not conventionally attractive, you are fishing out of a different pond. So your odds would be better. I would never encourage people to see. I would never encourage people to seek out partners they aren't attracted to. I think we all want to be attracted to our partners. But I'm saying we talk about this with the height thing.

Like there's a small pool of men that are considered the most desirable and a disproportionate amount of women are going after them. And that causes them to know that they can behave badly, sometimes not all of them. And so there's that. So it's just like, I understand

the sentiment of like, let me just not go for the hottest guy. I understand on a more serious note where this comes from. I think people are just exhausted. I think women are just like, you know, I know my worth, I have worked hard, I have a great career and a great life, and I deserve the best, and they've gone out after the best, and to your point, they're shopping in the same pool as everybody else. It's, you know, looking for a man in finance, 6-5, trust fund, blue eyes.

Like, you're shopping for 1% of the population. So I understand people being like, okay, if I could forego one of my standards, the way somebody looks is something that you could compromise on. And having somebody who is shorter, not conventionally good looking is a thing that you can I do think people should compromise. I don't think that you get every single thing that you want all the time. Even if you are the best of the best of the best, I mean, you just have to accept being alone forever if that's what you want, the 1% of people.

You know, you'd be shopping for a long time. Well, if you're in the 1% yourself. Yeah. I understand being like, I know my worth and that's what I want. but I don't know if this is the only goal is like find an ugly person because they'll treat me better. Yeah. Those don't correlate. Yeah.

I mean, I also think there's something to be said for I have always gone after this very specific look. For example, I've always gone after this very waspy white guy and maybe I'll try something different. Why not? Try someone who has had a different life experience, someone who has a different racial background. I think you should date all different types of people to see what you like. And I don't mean this is like find out which race you like the most clearly, but just someone who is different than that prototype stereotype you've been dating. There's certainly no harm in that.

I also just attract him as can grow on me a little bit. I do want to be initially attracted to somebody, but the best sex of my life is not the best looking person in the room. He's a decently looking guy. but like the sex was so amazing and I loved him so much and so it was better and I found him more attractive because of that like he grew on me I didn't walk up to the best looking guy in the room and pick him I picked somebody that fulfilled a lot of different criteria but probably was not the best looking guy ever seen yeah I think that's our overall take like if you want to

date the hottest man alive that's your choice but do it at your own risk but when it comes to like less attractive dudes the advice is not to seek them out because you think they'll treat you better overall just like don't discount someone because of their looks like find someone you like you're excited about who treats you well and see where it goes and like you said like a lot of cases like attraction can grow and also looks are subjective like someone's ugly could be your ugly hot which is the thing which they never say about women by the way guys get to be ugly hot while we're here we get butterface that's what we get but look at benny blanco a guy who he jokes about being ugly himself.

And he's with Selena fucking Gomez. Yeah, and she couldn't be happier. Yeah, and he is America's sweetheart. He's husband goals. Like, he feels like the case for Shrekking in the positive. I think just in general, the least important thing is how somebody looks. I don't want to date somebody who, how they look is their whole personality in either direction, that they have a chip on their shoulder for how they look or that they're like,

I'm so hot and everybody knows it. Like, I just think, like we said before, like, good people will treat you. Well, let's read some of our responses. So we, like, kind of were joking about putting up these questions on our Instagram. And I was like, these are the conversations women are having privately with their friends. Of course, we're going to talk about this stuff. And so we put these up and Raina can read them. A lot of them, by the way, a lot of people said, like, they get a big head about it.

Well, so the thing about the chip on their shoulder, before we get into this, I do want to say that. I mean, a lot of people are bullied in school growing up. I got made fun of for the way I looked, like by guys, you know, not by really necessarily by other girls, really. Like, I felt the guys did not, boys did not like me, you know, and it didn't manifest into hating men. You know, I think that anyone who's been taunted or mistreated by the opposite sex may have a chip on their shoulder.

I just think you do see this more with men. I mean, you see some men who could never get girls growing up and then maybe they do because they start making money or they do change their. appearance, whatever it is, and they do end up being a fuck boy or disrespectful or just cheaters because they now can get girls and they don't want to miss any opportunities where guys who never had a problem, they're not desperate for female attention and validation. So they're not going to mistreat a partner because of it. I've seen it with guys who, for whatever reason, never got girls.

And then they started to, and they can be the worst. Yeah, I mean, this is not a hot take, but the way that you look growing up has so much to do with the way you interact with the world and it has so much to do with the way the world interacts with you. And it's the opposite end of the spectrum of pretty privilege where you see people that grew up so good looking and like every door was just opened for them all the time. It's sort of the opposite. People that like walked into a room and always knew that they were less attractive than their friends, the people around them. The girls didn't pick them, you know? Like I understand having a chip on your shoulder. and then when you start to get the attention, you don't know what to do with it and you act poorly.

Yeah, and that's certainly not the case. Like, I wouldn't want to be with a guy that was the prom king. Like, I like people that have faced a little adversity. Like, I wasn't that girl growing up, you know, so you hope that you're stable enough to realize, like, yeah, I got teased when I was a kid. And now I'm a normal person in the world. And I don't need to take out my middle school trauma on these women. But it happens. Yeah.

Okay. Well, just really quick, let's go through the polls. So Raina just opened these. these slides, no context, guys with less money are better in bed. So can broke boys fuck better? I really thought about Brady or false. As it stands, 55% said true. And this is thousands of people, by the way, 45% said false.

And then the next slide was less attractive guys will treat you better. 53% said true, 47 false. And these, I mean, have not been up that long, but they'll probably stay in this same range. It's been about 50% the whole time and we're at about 5,000 responses. And then we asked thoughts on the previous polls. The person I was treated the worst by was also the person I was the least attracted to. It's a lot of that. Well, and then a lot of it like when you do take a chance on an uggo, they get too confident. That's what they're saying. They get a little cocky about it. You think ugly guys will treat you better, but they dog you just,

the same. Less attractive men are insecure. There's the ugo-ego epidemic where twos think they deserve tens because their mom said so. The ugliest man I ever dated was the only one that ever cheated on me. Less attractive men are insecure and they'll take it out on you but I worry less about them cheating. But here's the thing. They're not getting as many opportunities but if they do, they take it. So this is sort of really interesting. I read about this in Cheryl Sandberg's book about the way that women interview and the way that men interview. And women, if they're not like totally qualified for a position. They're just like, but I work hard and I learn fast and I'm up for the

chat. Like women will sell you. They'll tell you why they're not ready for the position, but they'll sell you on like that they could sort of. Men will never tell you that they're not ready. They're just like, I can do it. Yes, I will crush this. So like ugly guys get an opportunity and they're just like, I deserve it. I must deserve it. I'm not in this league, but I must deserve her. Yeah. But also there is something to be said for confidence. We like confident guys. We don't like egomaniacs, but we want confident guys. No confident woman likes the guy that's like, I'm so ugly, please take a chance on me.

You know what I'm saying? Like, I think there is a spectrum, but it's just like the confidence is not a bad thing. It's if you are really batting out of your league, why not? Yeah. Like in life, in anything. Yeah.

Like reach for the stars. Reach for a 10. What does it? Reach for the, reach for the moon. might land among stars. Shoot for the moon. Shoot for the moon. Okay.

So there's a lot of comments in here about me. Did random meet a three and it's just justifying her love? I actually have only dated men better looking than me. This is the opposite of what I do. Someone writes, oh, it's so hard. So I think overall yes, but it's also like there are hot good guys. 100%. You need to look back on the life they've lived.

My ugliest boyfriend was the worst person. ugly guys could be perks too someone wrote could not disagree more I'm so sorry ugly men are what give women trauma it's a tough day for all goes they're with a baddie they start acting a fool

Raina is on one today is Raina drunk okay so let's go into the money thing let's talk about brocos someone wrote futon dick is a thing they took me a second because I was like what do you mean guys that live on futons

yeah live on them The guys I've dated in the past with less money had big dicks. There's like a stereotype of broke guys. Fuck you like they need a place to stay. We're not talking about like people without unhoused. But if you are... It's so stupid. But if you are looking for someone that is unhoused and hot,

it is L.A. is the spot. You can't ever tell though. Everybody in Venice looks unhoused. Okay. Oh, this is interesting. Dumb guys are animals in bed. We didn't even talk about dumb guys. Dumb guys will fuck you.

Let's add. Like they have no mother. They rather than dumber. No. Wait, we shouldn't, let's bring dumb guys into this episode. Dumb broke or ugly. Let's talk about it. I meant to ask people if you had to compromise on one thing.

What would you? Stupid, broke or ugly? Well, I don't need your money. I would take broke. Yeah. Then rather than the other day. I can't. Life is long.

I need somebody who's smart. not hot. I don't know. I just don't know that I want to be. I've always said I want a guy that I think is hot and no one else does. And that's a lie. It's not true. And I want a guy that people think is good looking at it. And I want people to tell me that. And I do know people talking about my back. Ashley's man is so ugly. What I don't want. They can call him broke, but I don't call him so broke. Call him dumb. Call him broke, but don't call him ugly. No, he's none of the three. But I don't want the surprise. You know, there's nothing worse than someone. Surprise broke? Someone meeting, no, someone meeting your man and being like, he's hot.

There's nothing worth in that surprised energy. People do that? That's crazy. We've talked to this before. Like, when you're dating someone that someone thinks it's out of your league, they're like, he's really hot. Like, they're surprised. Like, I think my fiance and I, hopefully, I think we look like well matched.

Broke. I don't care. You could be broke. Someone broke equals no confidence in bed. Ugly equals extremely nice in and out of bed. I think that's wrong. Yeah, we think that's wrong. Someone said, this feels deeply personal.

Maybe Raina had an experience with a poor ugly dude recently. I had a experience with a rich hot guy recently and he's a monster. You heard it here first. Someone wrote this is rage bait. Kind of. Someone wrote chaotic. I had to double check what page I was on. I'd really just be throwing stuff up there.

I fucked ugly, hot, rich, poor at the end of the day. It's all about how they were raised. I think that's fair. I mean, that's the thing. It's who someone is. This is a funny, shallow episode and you knew that coming in. This feels like your guys' fault. We're clicking on the title.

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You guys can head to Hellowinks.com slash G-G-E for 50% off Winks at Walgreens. That's HelloW-I-N-X.com slash G-G-E for 50% off. Okay, we're back, Rayna. I've got to say one of these says, This story is hilarious because there's no contacts in a very plain background, like a thought asked in the group chat. Like, literally, that's how you posted this. And there's like episode promo up too.

And then I was just like, hey, would you guys like a broke guy? Is Raina drunk? So, like, really our audience is like, someone just wrote Unhinged. So we did want to talk about this in a little bit more serious context, too. This is something that we have discussed in when it comes to should you, quote unquote settle. I don't know. Don't we all settle down? It's not the word. But we all settle at some point. I mean, that email of that girl saying, I have this partner. He's great in other ways, but he doesn't like food. I mean, she clearly liked other stuff about

him. To pick a partner in life at some point, you have to settle. Not anybody is going to be 100% of every single thing that you ever wanted. I don't want somebody to expect that for me either. Yeah, but we always say you should feel 100% about them and that that's the person for you. if you choose to get married or commit to them in some way. But just in general, I mean, what is a non-negotiable for you and what is negotiable? And we want to discuss someone's personality traits versus the more superficial traits. And I don't say superficial in like a negative way. I see superficial in like a just surface stuff, looks, money, job.

Age. Are superficial traits or, yeah, age. And I think that you shouldn't compromise on the personality traits of someone that you really want to partner, whether it's like, humor, intelligence, kindness, compassion, what they value, equality, family. But then people bring into the mix obviously looks, height, money, job. And you wrote this thing down on the outline, the difference between values and conditions. And you can say, I want somebody financially stable or ambitious and hardworking.

That's a value versus I want this amount in their bank account. I want this type of salary. which is a condition. It's conditional. Like the same money is not guaranteed. Looks fade. We all age. You could lose your job.

You know, that really isn't who someone is at their core as a person. All those things do play into who you are. What you do for a living, how you're confidence about your job, how you feel about your looks. Obviously, they make you who you are. But they are more of conditions than who someone is at their core. So many of these, quote, quote, quote, superficial things, I think, like, will these things matter to you after you've been with somebody for five years, is how tall somebody is?

Is that really going to make you happy day to day? I mean, it might. And everybody's welcome to have standards. Men have had standards forever. And men, you know, want a certain level of attractiveness, age, weight, all these things. Women are allowed to have standards too, and you're allowed to have a standard for whatever you want.

If you're like, I will only date rich guys, you can go after that. And I don't believe in telling single people, well, if you want to find somebody, lower your standards. No, that's not it. No, everybody's allowed to have standards. But I've seen people say, I only want these rich guys and then they go after them time and time again and they're unhappy.

And I'm like, the only common threat is that you can't let go of this one thing that's making you unhappy. And what if we just compromise a little bit? And I like this thing about like, can you just find somebody who's financially stable that you don't have to worry they're going to do crazy stuff with money? Like they're going to be okay your whole life. Yeah. And make your own money. You know, like I understand the way that people feel about money runs so deep. And especially if you were someone who grew up without financial security and you're like, that is all that matters if I'm going to have a family with somebody. Well, if it's the number one thing that matters, you know, is there a world in which you're the person that makes the money? So you never have to

worry about. Like, why rely on a man? I mean, I think that is the best way to be. Like, I am with somebody who is totally financially stable. But that is the baseline for me. Like, I was not on the hunt for some super wealthy guy, I make money. You know, I'd love the Kiki Palmer interview where she's like, what I don't need is your money. You know, I just want someone who's like supports me and loves me and is there for me and all these things that money can't buy. And so I just think that's important to think about.

Like I think it is hard to find a guy who is tall, attractive, funny, charming, likable, people like him, rich, and treats you like a, you're his top priority and he's faithful. Like, I know one or two, I guess, that fall into that category, but I still wouldn't date them. They're not for me. Like, you've got to sometimes think about the things that go together. I think a lot of women want this super successful, rich, high power, CEO, finance guy, and then also want them to be present, thoughtful, adoring them.

Like, they don't know. It was things available for every school trip. Every single group hang. That's not really always the same person. I don't know one. I really don't. When I really think about it, when I think of the few guys, I know, they are good partners that are rich and super successful.

They're good partners, but they're not around as much. They aren't the guy I want when a family member passes. They aren't the guy that's like just going to like hold me after a long day and comfort me. I don't see those things go together. Certainly there's unicorns out there, but this is just about being realistic in the traits that one person can have and what you really value.

No, no. I was like, Charlie, I don't know. So in short, good luck out there. We did a great episode about like making your list a couple years ago. It was in January of 2024. Okay.

Was it? or February of 2024 about making a list of everything you want in a person and deciding, like, what are the non-negotiables? And so many of the things, you know, my list was split. Of course, I had some superficial things, but so many of the things I think on most women's lists are like, does he listen to me? Does you remember things I say? Does he prioritize me? Does he think of ways to make me feel special? A net income? I mean, it's nice to have, but I think that so many women today are out earning their partners. I mean, I think that it's not that as important as it used to be.

Women used to have to date men that had a certain social status and financial income because your life depended on it. Yes. And also, is it a lifestyle you want? I mean, we had a friend who I just, I feel like she wouldn't talk to a guy that didn't have a vacation home.

And she wanted that type of lifestyle. It didn't work out for her. I will say that. You wrote this on our outline, what trait do I keep prioritizing that never actually brings me happiness? And that could get different. Yeah. is, yeah.

Like, listen, money makes things easier. I want to have an easy life. And money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys you a lot of ease and access and a lot of decisions that you can easily just make and not think about. Like, money does lead to an easier life. Sure. I understand wanting it. I think that it makes having children easier.

It makes getting older easier. And when you're sick and it makes everything easier. But it's the one thing that I say, I just don't really care of that much. But why do you think you're going to be entitled to their money? If you really are always searching out a rich guy, like this is why I just want women to make their own money. Our episode with Tori Dunlap is like, you make the money and then you don't have to worry about this shit.

And if you find a rich guy, then you got double the income. And now you're really like living large. But of course it's fun to date rich dudes and go on trips. But if you really are like, I need to marry that guy because I really need the money and then financial stability. If you're compromising on other things, there's no guarantees you're going to get married.

He might lock you in with a pre-nup. I mean, what are you going to get pregnant really soon? So you're guaranteed for the money. I mean, where does it start and where does it end? And what is your mindset around it? And are you sacrificing other things that make a solid partner and that would make you happier? So I don't know.

That's stuff you got to ask yourself. So don't date ugly guys because they won't treat you better. Broke guys, maybe. No problem. No new. That's still my song of the fall. I can't stop singing it. Yeah.

That's that's all I have to say. Okay. All right, guys. Well, thanks for being here if you're still here. We appreciate you guys weighing in and giving us your thoughts on these. Thanks. Honestly, we were pretty proud of our audience that everyone took this seriously and drag us for these questions.

Oh, Zul. Listen, take a chance on a guy with fucked up teeth like I did with his old. You could always. Fixed teeth. Yeah. If you can fix teeth. Yeah. Fashion clothes.

You can always fix that. Yeah. Okay. Well, Girls Gotta Eat.com. Get tickets to our live shows. We have one in L.A. and one in New York. They are going to be so, so much fun and just so electric.

We cannot wait to see you guys there. Girls Got to Eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Raina is reina. org. Subscribe on YouTube. Check out all of our episodes on YouTube. Always full episodes.

And we will see you guys Thursday. Have a great week, guys. Bye. Thank you.