Girls Gotta Eat - Should You Ever F*ck Your Friends?

Episode Date: August 20, 2018

Friends With Benefits sounds fun, but is actually just a total disaster? We discuss the positives and pitfalls of f*cking your friends, and share our experiences with it. We also talk about our recent dates (Rayna's was a surprise; Ashley's was over in record time), and play another round of Is This Weird? with some of the most hilarious questions and answers yet. Enjoy! Follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast and shop our apparel and accessories at GirlsGottaPodcast.shop. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How close? Like, is this an acquaintance or is this like somebody that's like a best, are they your emergency contact? Like, how close are they? I think if you're fucking your emergency contact, you're married. Like, that's what's happening. I'm sorry to tell you. Back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat Podcast.

Welcome back. I never know what to say. I know. Okay. We are so glad you guys have been rating and reviewing and subscribing and also buying the merch. We launched merchandise line. It is, I think it's amazing. It's so fun.

Girls Got Eap Podcast.shop. Raina's amazing intern designed a lot of the items. She's in studio with us again. So, t-shirts, mugs, phone cases, hats. Ashley was wearing the shirt out in the park other day and somebody literally stopped her and asked her where she got it. And I got so flustered. I was like, oh, it's my podcast.

I don't know. The link wasn't up yet. I was just like, you want it off my back? Like, how much money do you have? Should I sell it to you right now? Can I pay you? I don't know. Yes.

But you guys have been so amazing. The orders have like literally poured in. Like I can't even, I wish I sold this much merchandise for 100ry Jew. Yeah. Also buy 100 Jew merch. Oh, wow. Okay. Also literally buying.com.

We're going to plug our own personal endeavors. Send us pictures of yourself in the merchandise as you get it. And we're going to just roll out new stuff all year along. We have really fun stuff coming down the pipes. And let's also just plug. We have a very limited number of tickets. gets left for the Caroline show on September 12th, VIP only. So general admission sold out. We still have a few, maybe, I don't know. Hopefully when this comes out, there will still be a few left.

But we're really, we want you guys to get those VIP tickets because those include the meet and greet. So we're kind of, we're going to stay after the show and talk with you guys and get pictures and stuff. So if you were really trying to come to the Caroline show and you were feeling like it was sold out, there should be just a few of the VIP tickets left. And we are so excited for the show on September 12th. We can't wait. We have tons of other live shows coming up, guys. We'll keep you posted. Coming to you from mouth media by Senheiser. They've lots of podcasts that record out of here, check out their website. I am ready to get into it because we both went on dates this week and I want to talk about them. Okay. You went on a date last night. And again, like, this is so funny because I didn't,

you weren't planning to go on a date. This is very funny when you and I go out like with friends and then all of a sudden we're like, by the way, I went on a date. Like surprise date. Surprise date. It was an impromptu. I mean, I don't know if it's a date. Tell me everything. I know no details. You guys were hearing this for the first time with me. Right. Like I literally went to an event with Jeremy who was on our show before, brunch boys, and it just spiraled very quickly into me going out with a girlfriend. Some guy that she is sort of seeing came to meet her at the bar. His friend came to, like, drop him off and his like adorable cute friend with a British accent struck up a conversation with me and decided to stay. Everybody left. So just the two of us stayed and like just

had like one drink for like hours and then took a walk and um i don't know he's not the kind of guy that i would like necessarily like see from across the room and be like yes that guy he's like the accent can go so far who i'm telling like any guy that's on an app that says he's australian i'm like you could be but fucking ugly and i'm like sweat i'm like yes i like you like i'm telling you any accent um some interesting things so lots to unpack okay interesting things um he's younger I think he's like a year younger than me. Oh, okay. I moved to New York pretty recently, so not fully horrible New York guy yet.

Has it seeped in. Hedge fund guy, so like tons of money. So I'm never really sure how to deal with these things sometimes when people start talking about their money and like what they have. He has like a pilot's license. He's trying to like buy a plane and like he was showing me Instagram photos of his car. And in my mind... Oh, what?

He was showing me pictures of his car. So let me explain. Okay, I didn't grow up with money. I grew up very comfortable. Like I had everything I ever wanted. but like we didn't have an excess of money. And so when people started doing this in my mind, I'm like, are you bragging or are you just telling me about your life?

And that just happens to be your life. Like your hobby happens to be flying your plane. For sure. So I never know like if I should judge it. Because I don't know, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how to like be in those situations. But I did a thing at the end of the date, which is like very unlike me. Okay.

So we're taking a walk. It's like late at night. We're in like East Village or Eastside, whatever. I'm like thinking to myself. Like usually I'm very confident. always like, we should do this again. I would love to see you. Or, you know, here's my number. Let's hang out again. And in the middle of the walk, I just sort of felt like the conversation was like kind of winding down. I walked into the street. I threw my arm up. I held a cab. And I was

like, have a good night. It was great seeing you. And like hugged him really quickly hop into the cab and left. Did not for my phone number. Like, didn't do any of the things. Okay. And so now I've decided that this will be like a fun game with myself for like, will he find me? I like this. Yeah. So if he wants. He's like mid-sense. You're like, I'm just going to hop in this cab. I don't know. I just, I was down with the conversation. I like it. I like it. It feels a little sex in the city where you're just like, I'm over the state. Well, you know what it reminds me.

You're like, like, throwing me of Lev talking about that girl and how she like left the party and he like had to like go through like seven different channels to figure out who this girl wise. I'm talking about him in every episode. God fucking damn it. We need to be. We need a PR retainer from love. Anyway. Yeah, like it. I just thought if this guy like me, he'll find me. He'll find you. That's the thing. They will find you. If he wants to find you, I'll find you.

I like this. That's my new date move. Just throw my hand up in the middle of the date. Well, I thought, you know, you could call an Uber and, like, do the waiting around for the Uber thing. But I decided not to do that. I never take cabs ever. New date tactic. Just leave.

Just leave. I hope he thought about this all day today. Yeah, he's like, I was with this girl, we're really biving. I was like about to maybe like pull her into a corner for like a kiss, like whatever. And she's like, all of a sudden, she just hailed a fucking cab and rode off into the night. I love it. I was so excited to tell you. Sorry, I didn't give you the right reaction when you told me because I was still like,

wait, what did you just say? Right. All right. I'm feeling this move. It was very unlike me. I just like, I don't know, whatever. So if I hear from him, great. If not, he was too busy flying his plane or something.

I'm going to hail a cab. Okay. And if you went on a date, I was shocked. Not that you went out of date. You actually had someone go on a date with you. It's crazy. Crazy. So, yeah, the hinge date.

I liked this guy's vibe before the date, and he obviously judge people based on what they choose to do on the date, and it was really cute. He said, you know what, let's just, we've been talking about tacos. I don't know, somehow. Obviously, I'm always talking about food. I'm always talking about tacos. And he was like, well, let's just do, I'm going to take you on like a, we'll do a little taco tour. He was like, to just like meet me on the corner of St. Mark's in second. I'm like, this is so amazing.

And plus, remember we talked with Kelly in the episode? She was like, I see you on like date. that involve, like, moving around and walking and maybe you want to do, like, a walking tour through a neighborhood. I'm like, this is really weird because this was this guy just suggested, but there's also tacos. I was super pumped. Ashley texted me and said, just consider this my official engagement.

Right. I was like, he's taking me on a taco tour. Consider this my engagement announcement. When we met up, I got there first, which I hate. I was trying to walk as slow as I could because I like, I like to walk up when he's already there. I hate it in the wintertime where you literally like give yourself hypothermia outside, just like around the corner.

Right. And so there's that a big. on the corner of second in St. Marks is like there's a big like stand with hats and sunglasses and stuff. I found it. I saw a pair of sunglasses on and just like. I'm incognito. But I found a pair of sunglasses I really liked.

Do. So I bought him. So he walks up and he's like, what are you? I'm like, I'm just going to pay. Shopping. I'm just paying for these really quick. It was a, it was an okay date. Okay.

Before you talk about the date, I actually texted me at 9 o'clock. I'm home from the date. No, I said it was fine. It was fine. I'm fine. And you go, wait a minute. Is the date over? Like you went on a day date? Like the sunset after you got home on your day date.

The sun was setting by 9 p.m. No, we went on a date from 7 to 9. A day date. A day date. He had told me before the date that he had a friend in town that he needed to meet up with at 9. I'm like, oh, you have another date? Cool. And he was like, do you want to reschedule?

And I'm like, no. Because like, what are the chances I'm going to like this? guy enough to even want to spend more than two hours with him. He actually wanted to meet up at like six and I couldn't because I had to go to yoga. And so I'm like, I'm not going to change my schedule for this. I can make it at seven. So I kind of knew that it was going to be this like seven to nine date. Date eight.

Date eight. I'm not ready for guys to see me in like full blown light. Last night we walked like past this construction site. It was all lit up. And I like strategically only talked to the ground while it was happening. Oh yeah. When the lights come on at last call, you're like, oh my God, I got to go. Right.

But he was nice. Okay. I was like, how was the date? And Ashley's like, he was cute and nice and smart and fine. You know what? He'd be great for Merrill. Like, we're out here, like, date my mom, MTV. Like, Ashley pre-screened this guy for Merrill.

You know, he has all these great qualities, and he would be really good for someone else that deserves these qualities. No, I just, you know, I talk about all the time. I hate everybody. No, this guy, he's great. I thought of Meryl. Merrill, Merrill's a very good friend of mine, and now ours, too, Raina's friends with her. She speaks Spanish. She spent a lot of time in, like, Spanish-speaking countries. He is Spanish, um, like, was born in Spain. Uh, I don't know. He doesn't have the thing that I need. He's not an asshole and really funny. Like, he's great. He's, he's not boring. He's smart and he's a good job

and he's cute and he's age appropriate, height-appropriate, all the things. But I'm just sitting there and I'm like, maybe you should date my friend. So here's the deal. I'm being serious. about it. Like, I want him to meet Merrill. I mean, it sounds funny, but like, hypothetically, but realistically, like, love is so rare. Not everybody is going to be for everybody. And Merrill, I told her. And I was like, just met your new boyfriend. And she's, and she's not even offended in the least because I'm like, we have such a different taste. I don't even think I would like her ex. I don't think she would like mine. We, like, have very different tastes. And so I am trying to think of how to do this. You should, okay, do you, I don't know if you remember this.

Before we started the podcast, we were sitting at a bar and you'd been talking to some dude on some dating app and I thought he was really cute and you gave me his number and I texted him. Do you remember this? I was like, I'm Ashley's friend and he was like, what's up? What are you doing tonight? Yes.

Oh my gosh. Hold on really quick. This was a meeting right and I had to discuss starting this podcast. We were at Jaja Jha, Ja. Yeah, it's a vegan restaurant and Lori said. We were eating vegan nachos and this guy was very good looking. He lived in Brooklyn, which where Raina does too, and he told me up front that he's very into some freaky sexual stuff.

He was like, I just want you to know. It's very important to me. and I'm like, I don't know if this is for me, but maybe Raina. And so I showed you when she goes, I'm into it. And so she texted him and he's like, what's up? And he tried to get you to have a threesome that night. Do you remember this? Oh, I forgot about that.

I knew there was something weird that happened. Yes, he was like, I'm with my friend. Remember all the things you were saying he wanted you to have a threesome with him? I totally forgot about that. And you were like, you know, actually, I don't even know if I'm into this either. So sorry to that guy. But we'll keep you guys posted. He did not think it was the craziest thing.

He didn't. I was just like, I'm Ashley's friend and I think you're cute. And listen, I am trying to figure out how to do this. If you guys have any suggestions, let us know. I have a feeling that this is a really great guy that would really be compatible with one of my good girlfriends. And I just, I don't think he's for me and I don't want to hide him. I don't want to be done with him. I want, he's a great, he's a catch, I think.

I look at all my friends' boyfriends. I wouldn't date any of them, but all my friends' boyfriends are wonderful men. And like, I don't have any girlfriends that have a boyfriend where I'm like, oh, I hate them. I wouldn't date them, but they're wonderful people. Right. So we'll keep you post. We'll keep you posted. Okay.

You ready to get into today's topic? Yeah, it's just us today, guys. So, um, it is. It's thrown at old school, just me and ash. Um, we based this episode on something we've been getting a lot of emails about and something we've wanted to talk about for a long time. Should we say it? Friends with benefits.

All right. Friends with benefits and fuck buddies. Can you do these things? Can they be sustained? All you guys want to fuck your friends. Basically. I got some good looking friends. Not going to.

lie. I do too. I used to hang out with all these super hot dudes. Like, there's fucking five of them and never hooked up with any of them. And then I met a guy that I started dating and he was like, so how many of those guys have you fucked? It's just like none. But should I have? No, because you didn't know them super long. Like I have a huge group of guy friends like from home that I've known at this point since I was 13. Yeah. So the chances that I've hooked up with a handful of them Over 20 years. Yeah, I've done it. You have a checklist?

I'm like, I definitely did him and him. His wife can't know about it. We'll do another episode I really want to do this at some point about, like, can men and women be plutonic friends? Because I have a lot of feelings about that. But, oh, yeah. The answer is no. I do not believe in that at all. We can.

We'll get into it later. Women can. Be plutonically friends with a man. Totally. Yeah, I think so, too. But I don't, you're just like a girl they haven't fucked yet. All right. We're going to do it another time.

That's a different episode, guys. We've been talking about our topic for today, which has spawned a whole another set of topics. So we're going to talk about fuck buddies today. But again, that's going to be a whole other topic on its own. I just want to write it as the iTunes description. Which? Fuck buddies.

The fuck buddies episode. I feel like you guys click on the episodes more when there's a swear word in the title. That's a proven thing. Yes. It's like a psychology thing. Like why people put the word like bitch and books and stuff like that for sure. Because people are like, ooh, it's edgy. Young, young dick and estric.

Okay, so off the bat, I want to say, like, fuck buddies and friends of benefits are not the same thing to me. A fuck buddy is somebody that is not in your friend group. Right. And somebody that you don't want to be friends with. So I feel like I've had fuck buddies. I had one recently. We talked about him on the podcast. Like, it started out that I thought I might want to date him, but then I was like, I don't want to go to dinner with him anymore.

I don't want to see him in the daylight. So he's like, now he's a fuckbody. So you really, we'll talk about this in the fuckbody episode, how you put somebody into the fuckbody box. But I mean, that's a totally different thing. It's somebody that you just want to fuck. You are literally only seeing them like in the wee hours in the morning or whatever it is. Like, I think it's so different than like something that you're friends with or in your friends group, you're doing friend activities with them and then still like fucking them on the side.

Yeah. Like in how close? Like is this an acquaintance or is this like somebody that's like a best, are they your emergency contact? Like, how close are they? I think if someone's... I think if you're fucking your emergency contact, you're married. Like, that's what's happening. I'm sorry to tell you.

By definition. Those two things make a marriage. So, you know, when you think about fucking your friends, like, pick the right friend. Right. Because you don't want to fuck the emergency contact, unless it's your husband. I guess you should definitely fuck the emergency contact. Well, and I think immediately, me. Have you seen the movie Friends of Benefits? No. Oh, okay. I picked the other one. I feel like

there was like two movies that came out. Oh shit. Hold on a minute. Am I getting this wrong. Justin Timber Lake Amelikunis. And there was like the exact same movie with that. Ashton Coochard and what's your name? Nally Portman. Yeah. Well, I'm thinking of just, I think, I think, I think Justin Tamer Lake Amelikunis, that is called Friends with Benefits. The other one's called like just Friends or whatever. Whatever. That's a movie I'm thinking of. That movie honestly should have been called Fuck Buddies. I think they met like in the Warg interview thing and they weren't friends before. But regardless, what happened to that movie doesn't happen? What happens in the movie? They like set up this thing that they're like just going to fuck because

they're both quote unquote emotionally unavailable people. So they set up this like fucking relationship. Then they obviously get along. They have great chemistry and they end up together. They end up like falling in love. Never happened. If that's ever happened and you guys know something that's happened to, please tell us about it because I guarantee it has it. That's not a thing that happens. I don't know. I think that these are two people that are like, not emotionally available and they were just going to have sex. Like that's the movie. Like I think a lot of like, people always say like, can you turn a fuck buddy into like a serious relationship?

Well, actually. I don't know sometimes. Yeah, you can. Like, I know people that have done that. Yeah, you're right. Okay. I just think most of the type doesn't happen. I guess let me retract it.

Don't go into a situation thinking that's what's going to happen because that's the exception, I think. Right. Because the person that you're like texting at like 1230, 1.30 in the morning, you up kind of stuff to come over and like bang them and they go home in the morning. you don't even like stay for brunch. Like that's, if that ever turned into a relationship, I would be blown away. I'm not saying, like, there's always exceptions to every rule. But like, a friend with benefits is like somebody that's like in your group, I think. And like, I don't know, before you sleep with your friend, like, I'd really think about like,

is this somebody I'm okay not having in my life forever after this? For sure. And I think that you make a solid point. Is this a one-off friend or is this someone in like in the group? You know, like, is this going to fuck the group up? Mm-hmm. Should we talk about our experiences with that? this? Yeah. The person that you're going to talk about, is he like in your larger friend group?

Do you just tell the story? Um, yeah. And one thing I want to say too, my ultimate take on the whole on a friends with benefit situation is like if you're really friends with somebody, if I'm really friends with somebody, me personally, if I'm really friends with somebody, I enjoy their company, I consider them a friend and I want to fuck them, that's the love of my life. Like that's the goal. Like I can't perceive a situation for me personally. where I am a friend with somebody and also fucking them and I don't really like them to date. Like, I would be willing to guess that most of the time females that get into these situations, they like that person to date them.

And they're just tricking themselves into thinking they don't and calling it a friends of benefits situation. That's what I think. That's how I am. And that is kind of what happened with me, Ida situation. Wait, before you get into that, I think what you're saying is that also sort of begs the question of like, are females capable of plutonical? like sex kind of?

Female, like not emotional sex. Females are definitely capable of casual sex, and I want to talk about that on the fuck Betty episode. I did that for two months earlier this year. This person I wasn't, didn't see a long-term relationship with them. I didn't really totally vibe and connect with them. Like I didn't really want to go to dinner with them, like I said. I didn't want to go, like, stroll in the park with him ever, but I wanted to fuck him.

So I don't know. I absolutely think it can happen. My answer to that is yes. But for me, a guy that I like that is my friend, that we vibe and we laugh and we hang out and then we fuck. That's a guy. I really like him. And if I say we're friends of benefits and nothing's happening, I'm lying to myself. Right. And I think that that happens a lot. And the huge danger is that like it is a normal, healthy thing. Just like you said, you're like, I like this person. As a person, they're intelligent, they're fun, we've a good time to think. And I'm

attracted to them to want to date them. And I think the issue a lot of times is that the man does not feel that way. I totally agree. Like friends who fuck, what? That's a great relationship. So why are you not dating? So that's the first question to ask yourself. And I hate to say it. It's probably because the guy doesn't want to date. And that's what my was my case. I mean, so I had a guy friend. When we met, we hooked up a couple times, just drinking out, whatever. And then we just became really good friends and didn't hook up for a long time. Then we would just kind of hook up when we drank or we saw each other out or it was convenient. I didn't really feel jealous if I knew he was dating anybody. But like every once in a while we would hang out. But I knew he, like, really valued my friendship, but I knew I was, like, a good friend of his.

Were you making out, like, at bars? Every once in a while, yeah. Like, every once in a while, like, every once in a while, like, it wasn't, but I don't think people would associate us. It was a little more undercover thing. And it wasn't, it was not habitual. It was like super sporadic. So I did start to develop feelings to this guy. And that's kind of going back to prove my point.

Like, this is a guy that we get along, we laugh, we have fun together. Now we also have physical chemistry. Like, yeah, of course I like this guy. And I ended up saying something to him. and was like, had too much to drink one night. I knew I wanted to broach the topic and just did a whole, like, why don't we date? Whatever, this is weird, you know? And it was just, I mean, I kind of got rejected. And it's fine. I'm very glad. I don't think that would have worked out. And he wasn't mean or anything. And we stayed friends. And he, he doesn't live in New York, but we are still friends.

And we talk and we hang out when I'm in Atlanta or wherever. And so that happened to me. I would, I would, classify that guy into a friends of benefits and had feelings for him, told him, he didn't want to date me, still great friends. You think that you had a much easier time sort of moving forward with it because he actually looked you in the face and was honest? Yeah, I think that's a good point because I think sometimes what happens is we've talked about this with other episodes, especially I'm thinking of like the Jared episode in particular, guys want to make sure they can get laid again, some guys, some fuck boy type guys. So if a girl that they're fucking, that's their friend is like, hey, I think we should date.

I like you like this. They might try to be like, I don't know. I don't know. I have a commitment issues or make up a bunch of bullshit excuses just to hold on to like the fuck buddy. Right. And string you along to the point that you hate them. Do you hate them? And then it really destroys a friend group and I've seen that happen before.

Or like, you know, they're dating you in front of their friends, but they're also like sleeping with other people in front of their friends. And like, it's really tough because I think, you know, it puts people in a situation where they're lying. to you. They don't like being put in that position where they're lying to you. Well, and that's, for me, I do think some of the most solid relationships are built on friendships because you have this level of like mutual respect that sometimes guys don't really give to random chicks. So I think sometimes they hold you a little higher esteem because you're already friends. Yeah. And you're more vulnerable and they've seen you at lower points in your life and higher points in your life. And you are just, you're stripped down as a person a little more. You're not just like a female with a vagina.

Right. Like I think ideally like what a beautiful thing. to be friends with somebody for so long and then fall in love with them. And that's a beautiful thing. But like, I think a lot of times people are like, I like this guy, but we're really good friends. And I don't know. We sleep together. Like, what's going to happen? And it's like, I think that people can have the best of intentions.

And you can say to yourself, I'm going to set boundaries. And I'm going to not text them too much. And I'm going to accept that if they walk into a bar with somebody else, I'm going to be okay. But like, you just, you can't set boundaries for your emotions. They just are what they are. So as much as you must have, like, the best intentions in the world, like, I think you to be willing to understand that this friendship could be over immediately. And I want you to tell your story with this because I think it was a similar situation

where the guy realized the feelings didn't match up and was honest with you. Yeah. And that's what you've got to do, right, as a male or female, it could go both ways. But like, when you know the person that you're just not trying to date but you're having sex with them, they want to date you more seriously, you need to be responsible and call it quits. That's the only way to preserve the relationship. And I'll tell the story about what happened. But this guy did that to me.

And it was still really hard and shitty and I hated it. But it's the only thing that's allowed us to be friends. But I wasn't like really good long-term friends with this person the way you and this other guy were. Like we maybe knew each other for three months. And I didn't think I was like super into him. And then he started hooking up with some other girl. And I was like, oh, maybe I'm kind of into him. So, oh, you hadn't hooked up yet.

No, nothing happened. But like some other girl on the playground wanted to play with my toy. Right. And then I was like, well, I want this toy. This is my toy. For sure. So we hooked up. We certainly did not date.

I mean, we hooked up, we slept together maybe like eight times over the course of six weeks. Right. Pops, sleepovers and things like that. But, like, he never acted like he wanted to date me. But, like, I knew that if I, like, ran into him, we would go home together for anything. And I didn't think at the time I had, like, really developed super strong feelings for him. I just thought, like, well, it's fun to play around with. But, like, we were.

How old did you know? I mean, it was a shitty situation. situation and it's embarrassing to say the story, but like we were laying in bed together. And he like turned and looked at me and was just like, I mean, I have no clothing on and we're in bed together. And he was like, I don't want to do this anymore. And I was like, do what? I just got body chills.

Just like, in his, to his credit, we had not slept together. Like this was that, like we were watching a movie in bed and like we had not. He like came and said it as he's coming. Like, what a horrible thing? Did you do somebody, right? To like have sex with them and then say it. I don't do this anymore. I'm going to come on your face.

Right. Is they finished? One last time. He turned to me. It was just like, I don't want to do this anymore. And I was like, do what anymore? And he was like this. I don't want to do this.

And he, I will never forget this. He was just like, I don't have a lot of really good friends. And I think of you as somebody that I'm very good friends with. And I just want to be honest. Like, I don't do really nice things to people that I date. And I get very bored, very easily. And I just want you to understand, like, that might happen. And you're not going to like me.

And you're not going to want to be my friend. Yeah. And that is a lot to swallow when you are. No pun. ended? When did you get one last blowjob? No, I'm just kidding. I'm sure you don't want to change your mind.

Oh my God. I loved having sex with them. Right. And that's a tough loss too. It's not every day you find somebody you just really like fucking. So that was probably why you were so sad. I'm just kidding. It was.

I mean, some of the best sex ever. It doesn't matter, whatever. But the fallout from this that I wish I would have thought about before I slept together than the first time was like, do I have to be around this person? Am I going to be in forced social situations all the time? Or can I, like, separate? And what happened to me was that because of work obligations, basically, we were together, like, four times a week for years following this. And, like, it didn't get easier. It got harder. Like, my feelings for him, because I'd been rejected, of course, that you only want the

things you can't have. And he said, like, you can't have me. So I naturally fell in love with him. Right. And it was horrible for me. And I'd see him with other girls. And I would throw a fucking tantrum every single time and storm out of work events and things like that and be super pissed and not be able to like function like a normal person the way I wanted to. And, you know, I was around this person all the time that genuinely wanted to be my friend and wanted to spend time with me and hang out. That feels like such a rejection too. It did. It felt like a rejection. And I will say that like, you know, it's been years since then. And he's never been in a serious relationship with somebody since then. So you can kind of feel like it's not you. It's not me.

I really believe that he's just really invested in what he does and he wants to date around. and not be committed. And I'm sure he'll find somebody and be in love. And that girl will be very lucky. But, you know, I was really, really in love with him. And it was horrible. And I would go home crying all the time. And, you know, it makes other people around you not want to be around you, too. Right. And he wanted to, like, hang out to spend time together. And, like, our other friends didn't like being around it either. And fast forward a couple years later, we're fine. Like, you hang out with us. You're fine. You guys are very close friends. Like, I guess I knew you guys as friends before I knew the backstory. So it was kind of shocking to hear that, like,

you were in a really dark place because of this person. And you were also in love with him at some point. I don't know. I like this story because I like that you, well, it is a happy ending. I want to tell girls, like, don't do it. I mean, it's a happy ending because I had to spend. I mean, I didn't have a choice. I had to be around him, you know? Like, it worked out is what I'm trying to get at. But like, it was a really dark time. So like, maybe looking back, would you just wish you would have been friends? Yeah, I do. Right. So that's what I'm saying. So like, that's my takeaway from it. It's like, if you could do it again, you wouldn't have, had the sex and had the heartbreak as well.

Right. You would have been like besties from day one. The momentary joy I got from like a few weeks of sleeping together and like and as I got to know this person better also I realized this is not a good romantic match for me. And one of my best friends said to me like I said we're best friends and we get along so well like and the sex is good like why this should work. She said just because you can be best friends with somebody does not mean they can be your romantic partner.

Those are very different things. And I see now that like I've. love him as a friend, an incredibly loyal, honest, wonderful person. But I don't know that I would buy what he was selling in terms of a relationship either now, that I know him better. Right. So I'd be willing to bet that a lot of guys are maybe like him where there's a girl that they really get along with and vibe with as a friend, but also enjoy fucking. But then whatever's in their own head is holding them back from ever committing or whatever it is. And that's when I just want to tell our female listeners, just get the fuck out.

it's not going to work out for you. No. But thankfully for these guys, both of us really, like, honest guys that didn't want to do the hookup Aleoup and set them up for, set themselves up for a future hookup or future blowjob. Like, they recognize this is a person I respect and care about and I don't want to fuck with them, you know? So let me ask you. I mean, yes, we are very fortunate.

I always say that him and I are able to be friends because he was honest with me. Exactly. And I know this guy that you're talking about too. And I think you guys have a great friendship and you're a lot of fun to be around. I can't imagine you guys dating either. Right. You know, like, I just don't imagine that as a romantic match, which, again, like, just because you can be best friends does not mean you can be in a relationship.

I know, I like, forget we hooked up. Like, it's weird. Like, people are like, you can't imagine. Have you guys ever hooked up? I'm like, no. Oh, yeah. Sorry. I don't.

That's a fucking doesn't matter. But let me ask you. Like, I think a lot of people aren't this fortunate. I think a lot of people, obviously, like, you have a couple cocktails. You're both good looking. You do what feels natural. And you do that a couple times. And one of you, like, developed feelings.

Like, what do you do? Well, I do have a strategy for it. Okay. So I think that I'm just not going to talk to the ladies here. If this happens to you and you fuck your friend a couple of times and you realize you like them and you want to date them, figure out how they feel, whatever that takes, think you should obviously feel no deep down if they're really interested in you. And if not, have a conversation surrounding it. Like, hey, what's going on here? And if you don't get the answer that you want, like you go into it.

You always got to go into it ready to walk away. You have to hold the power. You can't go into it, like, desperate, like, no matter what they say, you're going to stick around. I think you go into it. I'm going to tell this person that I like them, and I can see us as a romantic match and figure out where they stand on it. And if they don't give you the answer you want, I think you need to walk away and, like, be done

with it. You're only going to get hurt. Then here's what you do. Okay. You date somebody else. You fuck somebody else. It doesn't matter. Find somebody.

Date somebody else. Have something with somebody else. make sure they know about it and then see what happens. So, like, they're threatened with losing you and you rub it in their face and then you see what happens. I'm not terrible strategy. Here's the thing. I can see this working because sometimes guys just need that little, like, kick in the

ass or whatever it is, they need to see you with somebody else to realize what they lost. I think it happens all the fucking time. If they don't care and they're happy to see you with somebody else and they aren't jealous and they're like, I'm glad you're happy. That was never going to be someone that liked you. The guy never even liked you. but I'm telling you that I can picture a scenario in which you're fucking your friend, you go to him.

You're like, hey, I like you. What's the deal? And he's like, I don't know. I'm a fucked up. Like, guys are the worst. Whatever. And then you're like, you know what? Say no more.

I'm going to end this now. I want to preserve the friendship. Walk out the door. Date somebody else. See what happens. I think that some guys need that extra push. But I also like, I don't necessarily think the games work because I think sometimes that happens.

And like, I guess it's not a game. I guess it's just like live your life, date somebody else. And like, your friend might want to be. to date you again. Right. Honestly, live your life. Because I think, like, you play the game. They come back to you, which I mean, we've all had this happen where we like like a guy and he doesn't like you and you date the next person and they come crawling back. It's like, they're only back because they, it creates a cycle where like you never feel comfortable in a relationship. It's like, well, they only came back because of another person. And once I'm available to them

anymore, again, like, are they going to want me? I don't know. You're right. I can see that too. I don't want to do a lot bad advice. I just think a guy that like, you're a friend and you guys are fucking and you have that chemistry too. Why wouldn't you want to date you? You got to make him realize it. Because somebody, some people don't want that. Like, I just kept thinking with this guy, Ashley, your phone. Oh my God, my phone just rang.

Who am I? I don't even know I had a ringtone. Who called you? That's so gross. Who would call me? I'm sick. I just think that like women and men do not think of like relationships and compatibility the same way.

And like, I would have thought for so long with this guy, like, we are our best friends. We've so much fun together. We laugh together. We talk shit on the same stuff. We hate all the same stuff. The sex is good. Like, why don't you want to be with me? I went home so many nights and cried over that exact feeling.

Yeah. But, like, first of all, just because you feel a thing doesn't mean the other person feels the thing. Just because you want to be in a relationship doesn't mean that they do. Yeah. Just because you're ready. Like, definitely doesn't mean that they're ready. And especially in major cities when guys are like, good looking and young and, like, figure it out.

Like, you can't have those dudes down. Well, and if you know you like somebody that you're, your friend with benefits and you have checked in with yourself and you're like, I really like this person. I have genuine feelings for them. You need to figure out how they feel and you need to be ready to walk away if they don't feel the same way. Because if not, I think you're in for like a serious, serious heartbreak. Right. And there could be situations out there just because I can't picture myself in it. There can genuinely be situations where there's a girl and a guy that are friends with benefits and it works for both of them and neither person views the other one as an actual

partner and they have this thing. I don't know how long that lasts. I don't, really think that it's sustainable, but maybe it's a few months or whatever it is or it's off and on. And it's just that it's not really that frequent. It's super sporadic like my situation was. But ultimately, we preach this over and over and over. I mean, we talked about it on last week's episode very strongly. Like, listen to yourself and check in with yourself and be honest with yourself. And I think that's the number one thing. Like every single time this person is in your life, whether you hooked up, whether it's before you go meet them or it's after, like, really just dig deep and be like, how do I actually feel? And like, does this person feel the same one?

If they don't, I think, like, walk away and maybe you'll be able to preserve the friendship. And we always, I think, empower women to, like, say what you think and go after what you want. But, like, in this specific situation, especially when there's, like, a larger friend group, it's like, you really got to be prepared to walk away and, like, put a pin in this. Don't, like, drunk dial late at night and text to do all these things because, like, it's just going to make it worse. And it's going to make it worse for everybody. And I think the women end up getting really hurt in these situations when, like, men were probably

sometimes pretty honest with you that they didn't want to be in a relationship. Right. But they keep fucking you. And you're like, okay, well, this is fucking me up. Yeah. And now you're furious and then you create situations in front of people. And it's like, yes, you were gaslit a little bit, but the person was also honest with you. They didn't want to be with you.

Right. And I do, I think, I think you and I are living proof that you could hook up with your friend a couple times and you can have this honest conversation and you can stay friends afterwards. It doesn't have to go bad, but you have to be honest with yourself. And I don't know. At the end of the day, I think friends' benefits is a bad idea. like the actual definition of it, like fucking your friend. But I can also picture a scenario where two people have been friends for a long time.

They're in the same friend group. They're approaching this like very cautiously because they don't want to fuck the friend group up. And maybe they have this chemistry that maybe it wasn't there before, all of a sudden appear, whatever it is, all of a sudden they hook up. And then all of a sudden they hook up again and a couple more times and they're still tiptoeing around it because they don't want to fuck with a friend group and they don't want to fuck with their friendship. But they end up really liking each other and it works out. I think you see that happen all the time. The first girl I lived with in New York, and we were young, we're 22, but she started, like, casually, I think, hooking up with some guy that she grew up with, and now they're married and they've kids. And she was like, this is so weird.

I never thought about him like this. I don't know. But I think that, like, also differentiate, like, what is going on? Is this person texting you late at night and fucking you? Or do they seem like they're pursuing you all of a sudden? Like, do they want to spend time on with you? You're going on fucking dates. Right, you're going on dates with them?

Are you spending time alone with this person? And, like, what is the nature of the interactions with the person? Yeah. Like, I remember she was just really, like, uncomfortable. She was like, I think he wants to, like, date me. And now they're married. And now they're married and they're having their first kid. And what a beautiful thing to be able to do that.

But in general, like, I look back and I say to myself, like, would I have done this in my situation. No, I would not have. And this was a casual friend. And I would have saved myself a lot of heartache and a lot of time where, like, I almost let that take the place of a boyfriend. Because he was around. And I'd feel him for him. and we're spending all his time together and joking around. And even though he didn't want to date me, he, like, took the role of a boyfriend and, like, filled the void.

Sure, sure. And I let that happen. And I really regret that because that's, like, a whole year of my life that I could have been, like, dating and having a good time with other people. And I don't think I slept with another person besides him for a really long time. Yeah. I just, if I could do it again, I wouldn't. So, yeah. And let's just, like, double down on the word friend.

Like, if this person is really your friend, you should be. be able to have an honest conversation with them. You know, like, this is, again, very different than a fuck buddy, which I fully support. Like, I just, I think, like, this is a person you call a friend. You should be able to have an honest conversation with them. Like, you should be able to sit down with them and tell them how you're feeling. And if they can't open up to you or their lobbying excuses your way, really get out of that situation. Yeah. You know. And I'm glad. Because they're supposed to be your friend. Right. And I'm glad that, like, you had a situation. or somebody like looked you in the face and was honest with you and you were able to preserve that

relationship. And like you said, really evaluate like what is going on here and have the conversation. I wouldn't do it. Fuck buddies are great. Fuck buddies all day long. People don't have to see that ever. People I don't have to run into. I don't know your friends.

I don't know your family. I don't even care if you have siblings. Don't care. I'm starting to feel like it's not a good idea. Like I feel like lately I've been dating and I had the fuck buddy and then I've been dating somebody like dating people in the neighborhood. and it's so convenient, but now I'm just like running into them. I'm just like, I feel like the neighborhood's haunted.

I got to move. Oh, my God, I can barely walk around the Lower East Side. It's like a minefield of the people that I've slept with. Everybody I've ever slept with lives in Lower East Side. I don't even know how they all converge on the same block. I like walk around with like a Sith Lord black hoodie above my head when I go around the Lower East side. Like the beginning of Beauty and the Beast when Bell is walking around the village and

everybody's opening up their windows going, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, that's our picture. Raina walking on the street with her breadbasket and all the guys she's fucked are just like opening up their windows. They're like hanging off their fire escape. They're like, I'm like, I've been in that apartment and that apartment.

I sucked someone off in that apartment. She's been. Oh my God. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Do you think you covered it? So. You guys are not Justin Timberl like Emilikunus.

I'm sorry. For me, it's the Ashton Coucher and Natalie Portman movie. I'm not going to lie. I cried so hard at the end of that movie. Okay. So that one. She's a doctor.

She's a, you know, no, no, I know the movie, but they did end up together. They do end up together in the end of the movie, of course. But also, she's, like, super emotionally unavailable, can't be with him. She's so busy. And that's the one where he comes over with, like, the period basket. Yeah. And she's like, ew, you're following for me. It's so gross.

Like, you wouldn't fucking date Ashton Coucher. Uptight as fuck. I can't stand her. I really just don't like her at all. Unless she wants to come on the show, in which case, I love Natalie Portman. You don't care? You don't care. No, I'm looking.

I. Actually, she's done with me. It's fine. Let's segue into anything. No, no, no, no, no, no, hold on. No strings attached. No strings attached. Jesus Christ. The whole show couldn't think of it. So Justin Hibling-Mele-Lenus Friends of Benefits, Natalie Borman-Anson-Cuture, no strings attached. But again, like I just want to, like you said, it can happen.

I would let both of those guys fuck me, no strings attached. Yeah. For sure. That's true. But then, like, then you start, then you fall in love with them and they ruin your life. It's fine. Anyway. As long as I get to have sex with Justin Timber, like, you can ruin my life all he wants.

Okay. I want to Big Dick He does have Big Day. This is not important. We've spiraled. We've digressed.

Okay. My favorite segment that we've done ever is this weird? Your favorite? Literally everybody's favorite. The Lister's my favorite. I've always been part of the crowd.

So we've asked you guys to submit Is This Weird Scenarios and we've gotten so many from you guys. Please keep sending them. Make the subject line of your email. Is this weird? If you could just try to keep them like a little on the shorter side.

But these scenarios, we've all kinds of stuff, sex stuff, dating stuff, relationship stuff, really, really funny stuff. So I've pulled some good ones. Have you pulled some good ones? I've got some. I've got some. Okay, I have to tell you, I'm loving these like sex fetish ones. Shocker.

I think a lot of these are not that crazy. And I think that some people are like, they've just never encountered it before. So they're like, oh, my God. But I have this feeling that like the porn industry has changed and the industry. and the internet has changed sex so much in the last of seven, eight years. There are things that, like, I don't even know what could happen to my body that are happening. Right. I, it's funny that you love the sex ones and I kind of like love the non-sex ones because they're

even creepier. Like, stuffed animals, like cults. Like, all this stuff from the last one is so funny. Well, I pulled a couple of good ones. I pulled a sex one and a non-sex one. I'm going to kick it off with the sex one. Also, just FYI guys, we have one that we are so obsessed with and we're saving it for the live show.

We literally cannot wait. We've been sitting on it. And it's the funniest thing. Ray or read it to me in the car in Chicago. That's enough. I just want to tease it. It's so fucking good. Guys, we have a live show at Carolines that we sold out, which I'm really excited about.

Sorry, that's why we haven't talked about yet. Anyway, so I'm going to hit you with this first one. Okay. A guy was dating was very sexual. He asked if I ever masturbated and said maybe a little, but it's not something I'm super into. He wanted me to do it in front of him with a vibrator. Is this weird?

Do you want my feelings about this? Yeah, I know. You know? Not weird at all. I mean, I don't find it weird at all. Some people have, a lot of people have masturbation fetishes. Like, I love it. I'll watch a guy masturbate.

Love it. Can't get enough of it. I'll let them watch me do it. I don't, I think I'm the opposite. Well, no, I just, I don't really want to watch a guy masturbate, but I'm like, you can watch me all day. I love the idea of somebody watching me. For sure, me too, yeah. I think it's like so sexy.

It's such a turn-on. I think that it's probably not something I would have been comfortable with when I was, like, first becoming sexually active. I don't even, I feel like I've only done it in, like, the last five years. Well, you didn't even masturbate and have an orgasm to your 20. Okay. All right. I was just like a couple years ago.

This is all about female impairment. It's a late orgasm plumber, okay? But I think masturbation fetishes are, like, pretty low on the crazy thing. I just think, again, just like we always say, like, it depends when you're asking somebody to do this in front of you. Right. Like, first date? First sexual encounter?

I might not mind it. I'm not going to look. Okay. If I was having a really strong sexual chemistry with somebody and they were like, I want you to touch yourself or whatever, that's super hot to me. I don't think that's weird at all early on. Vibrator, I don't know. I also never, I also am not super sure how guys feel about watching you just like get off with a vibrator a lot because they're like, why am I here? See, my problem is I just get off too quickly from it.

Oh, you get the fuck out of it. I can't do it. Right. Like, I'll come in five seconds. Then we're done with the experience. Right. Yeah. What am I here for?

You're like flight of a cigarette. All right. Listen, kid. But yeah, masturbation, fetish. I'm super into it. If you're not comfortable with your body, like, that's fine. Don't do it. But I think that that is not weird.

Right. I don't think it's weird at all. And also just, but like anything else. Like, if that's all someone wants, then I think it's a little weird. You know, like all these things kind of sprinkled in, I think are totally fine. But like, if you, if you were writing us, and saying like, this guy won't fuck me any other way. He just wants to watch me masturbate.

That's a little weird to me. You know, like, I think it's everything kind of is like if it happens here and there, but if it's like the only way someone can get off, then I, I don't, I'm not even saying that's weird, but like, I don't know if I'd like it. I don't want somebody to have to do one thing all the time ever, any of the things. Then you get into weird territory. Yes. Like, if somebody has to like.

I can only get off if you tie my ankles together and rub peanut butter all over my balls and like them off and then masturbate. I mean, like, yeah. Right. Like, it has to be dominates your stuff. every night of the week. If I have to get into like a latex suit, okay, it was we beat this together. Okay, next. Okay. Is this weird? Okay. I've been dating this guy for about three months and we're super comfortable with each other already. However, all caps. Oh shit. I was sleeping at his house

and he told me that his bunions hurt and had to sleep with bunion correctors. I said, sure, because I'm not an asshole. He whips out the scariest things I've ever seen. Basically, these are splints for your bunions, but the most cringeworthy part was when he was clacking around like a horse walking around in his bunion correctors. It sounded like he was wearing hooves. I could not live.

Flacking around. I was immediately dried up and couldn't have sex to them that night. Is this a deal breaker or am I being too sensitive? Is this weird? Oh my God. The whole bunnies is hunderboles. His bunions like click clacking

like on the... It's weird. It's weird. Oh, my God. We all have things that are wrong with our bodies, okay? Somebody's going to get pissed at us for, like, bunion shaming. It's her email. Like, if someone's like, my man is bunions, this is weird? It's the fact that she said he's clacking around like he's wearing hooves.

I can't get over the image. Can you just ask you can't fuck that guy. Ask him to wear socks. I'm trying to picture the hooves. They're bunions. I don't know. Carpets your apartment or buy him socks. Put your seven scenarios where you don't need to hear him.

bunions hitting the hardwood. Listen, people have all kinds of things wrong with their bodies. They have inverted nipples or long balls or like all kinds of things going to be wrong with you. But like this is correctable by himself. Right. So I don't know, Raina, but she said scariest things I've ever seen. They're like splints for your bunions.

I feel like they're large and socks can't go over them. Whatever. They're too big for socks. Yes. I think they're a picture of shoes. I'm picturing a horse hoof. Okay. here's the thing. People that you like are hard to find. She says they've been dating for three months. She feels super comfortable with him. I don't think this could be like a deal breaker. I think you should also find out is he planning to get surgery. The bunnies removed. I've had friends that have gotten bunions removed. I think you should figure this out. And I don't, if it comes down to it or you're like, I can't physically get it up for this guy with the hooves on. Like, I think you should tell him that. Guys want to fuck. You can be like, hey, is there any way you can wear the hooves when I'm not around? And just tell him like if there was something weird about me and you.

you told me, like, that would be fine, but, like, this, I'm sorry that this is just, like, kind of a turnoff for me and I'm going to try to work through it and can we work through it together. Again, I don't, I wanted to read this because it's fucking hysterical. Well, right. I wouldn't want you to not date me because, like, there's something on my feet. It's a natural thing. Exactly.

But, like, all right. I think, talk to him about it, be open with him about it. I think the second you tell a guy, like, this is kind of a turnoff, he's going to figure it out on his own. And if this guy is fully, like, no, I love my hooves and you're going to fuck me, then maybe that's not the guy for you. But again, let's all remember people you like are hard to find. Agreed.

Okay. Next email. I have to show you a photo for this. So I'm going to read you this and I'm going to show you the photo. Okay. Because I don't know that you can properly understand how weird this is. Okay. First of all, I love your podcast.

Thanks, girl. I started dating this guy, so of course my friends and I start stalking his Instagram. He's a million photos with him and this girl. So I panic thinking he is a girlfriend or a wife. Turns out it's just his sister. Yay. question mark. But check out these photos. There are many more of these on his account as you scroll through. Oh my God. They totally look like a couple, right? I think it's sweet that he's close to

his family, but it seems a little odd like the bikini photos of them together. All of my friends are now calling him the sister fucker. If you cannot imagine a name in this case, that would be great. Just in case I marry him is this weird. Oh my God. I got to show you the photos. You guys are going to get my, I have a lot of strong feelings about two close brothers. and sisters, so I don't even want to... I do too. And I had a situation with somebody that I dated, and I had a situation with a sister.

Just right off the bat. This body language is crazy. So there's a photo of the two of them. She's sitting on his lap, and his arm is, like, not just around her, like, it's fully, like, gripped up around her stomach. Right. Like a couple.

Right. And I don't want to be, like... This one, it's them with a dog. It looks like an engagement photo. We got them in bikinis. And this, by the way, way is just one screen of his Instagram. So she didn't curate these photos for us. She just took a screenshot. She took one screen and encircled him in red pen. This girl's funny. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well,

we both, Rayne and I both have brothers. We put it down. We've talked about him before. Yeah, if we both have brothers, I don't have any photos of my brother that look like that. He has photos with his wife that looks like that. Yeah. I don't want to like shame people for being too close to their family. Because if you say that to a person that, like, is fine with that stuff, they're like, I'm not weird. You're gross for thinking that. But I had this exact situation. with my ex. He had a, I would say, a too close relationship with his sister and characterized by some very weird things between them. And on top of that, she refused to spend time with me. So it was like a weird possessive thing over her brother. Like I would be, I would spend time with him

all the time. She would cancel plans with us. She refused to meet up with us. One time I went to his place and there was an extra toothbrush in his, this is a long distance relationship. There was an extra toothbrush in his bathroom. And I was like, um, baby. Whose toothbrush is this? Didn't even skip a beat. It's my sister's. She uses it when she sleeps over. I would have rather, he said he was cheating on me.

Oh, my God. One time he had bought some furniture for the apartment, and I was helping him to, like, pick new pieces. He had bought a big couch, and I suggested wanting to buy the other pieces of this set. And so we're having, like, a debate about the furniture. And because he liked to have people over. He was debating whether to buy the love seat or the armchair with this couch. And I was like, buy the left seat, you like to have people over, you want more furniture. He cuts me off in the middle of my sentence, picks up the phone and calls his sister.

And I just hear, hey, so I'm trying to decide, like, what kind of furniture to buy. Raina doesn't think that I should get the armchair. She's like, fuck Raina. Totally. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's wrong. I think so too. Okay.

Okay, bye. My sister doesn't think I should get that. Okay. It was so uncomfortable for me. Yeah. So, but you can't tell people that you think they want to fuck their seat. sister, because he didn't really take well to that when I used to make fun of him about it. It's tough.

Here's the thing. My brother and I are super close. I'm actually like probably a little more affectionate with my brother than like a lot of people. Just because I like hug on him. He's so big. Everybody is. I don't sit on his lap. I don't hold his hand.

I don't sleep over and sleep in his bed. I mean, but again, some families are a lot more affectionate and close and they kind of grew up in a different way. I also don't kiss my fucking parents on the mouth. But like I think where it gets weird is the jealousy. and the weirdness. So, like, if my boyfriend's sister is a little weirdly close and touchy, but it's when she's, like, in love with her brother.

Oh, one of my best friends from college dealt with this. It's so, so weird with her now husband. And finally, when the sister got married, it got better because she found somebody. But that's a weird, I'm going to say it, it's weird. That relationship, you can feel it, you can tell it. It's when the sister is jealous at you and you guys have this tension. I don't want to be a part of it. It's super fucking weird.

And I don't think it's a sexual thing. I don't really think that people want to sleep with it. I think that some people are just oddly protective over their sibling. But, like, I have a friend who he has three sisters and their parents died when they were little kids. And so the four of them do have an incredibly close relationship because they don't have anybody else. And I've spent a lot of time with them, like watching Steelers games.

And they are, like, fun to hang out with. But, like, they don't post pictures like that. Right. Like, that's weirdly touchy. It would make me uncomfortable. It would make me uncomfortable. And for me, a lot of times when someone has a super bizarre family dynamic or they have a really awful shitty family member or whatever it is, if it's my boyfriend and he recognizes it and we can

talk about it, it's going to be fine. We're on the same team. But like, if my boyfriend is also really weird with his sister and like he's calling her to ask her for advice over me and like he's basically, he's also dating his sister in a weird way, like I'm not okay with it. But I don't know. I actually, I don't think I could actually put up with it. super weird to me, especially just because I have a brother. And it's always,

two close brother and sister relationships have always scaved me out a little bit. Because my brother and I are super tight, but I don't sit on his fucking lap. I wouldn't back off of the relationship. Just because those photos, they might just spend a lot of time together. Maybe they work together. But feel it out. See them together. Like, is the sister not willing to spend time with you? And how she treats you. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. It is weird. Don't fuck your family members. Okay. So, is this weird? So I was helping at this fancy 4th of July event and make cute eyes at one of the guests all night. After we went out for drinks and he even took me out on his rowboat, cute, fucking the notebook over

here. It was all very sexy. We went back to his place. We were getting it on, all caps. And he asked me to spit in his mouth. This is the first time she talked out with him? I was totally taken it back. Yep.

First time hooking up. I was totally taken it back. But am savagely GGEE. I've never heard of this before. Good giving and game. I like this. So I hawked a fat wad of spit into his mouth. He loved it.

But I still felt hella weird. Isn't this weird? Yes. What the, Raina is rarely surprised. What? This is crazy. This is crazy. She hawked a lugie in his mouth?

I'm not actually, she did it. This is a girl that's like in this, in a situation, she's like, I guess I can't leave. And also like, I guess I'm going to do this. That is so. it's so disgusting, but it's not invasive. And it's like, that doesn't take anything away. Like, you're like, fuck, I'll just spin your mouth. I would never talk to that guy again because he's a fucking weirdo and probably going to murder

you. But like, that doesn't take anything away for me. I don't have to like, that's way easier than a blowjob. Yeah, I guess it doesn't like a road. I could just spit the guy's mouth instead of giving him a blowjob. Not me. I would love, I like giving him blow jobs. But this doesn't like spitting.

This doesn't erode my boundaries in any way. It doesn't make me feel bad about myself. That's what I'm saying. It's not invasive or offensive. Well, it just makes me, it skews me out of it. It, like, makes me dry a little. But, like, other than that, I feel like, oh. I guess it's, you're not giving up any part of yourself other than your saline.

I, again, we talked with this. The first time we played is this weird. I have to know what, what's going on here. I'm just, my curiosity would get the best of me. Like, why is this hot to you? Like, I, I have to, I want to know now. I'm going to, I want a message your back. Can you find out what the fuck of this guy is into you?

Like, some guys, like, when you spit on their dick, but, like, well, you have to sometimes for, like, oh, I see. Yeah, you got to, I mean, you got to loop it up, but, like, yeah, I can, I can understand a guy being like, can you, like, get a bunch of spit going on my dick, but, like, spit in my mouth. Yeah, it's not for me. It's really skeving me out a lot, honestly. And it's funny because, I don't know why it does, because if you make out, you're going to naturally transfer saliva anyways. But, like, not in large quantities all at once. Oh, so gross. And, like, like, the phlegm, like, we're not talking about spitier.

She like hawked a lug. It's really gross. Do you have any more good ones? I could do one more good one. Okay. I've got a, is this weird moment for y'all to unpack. My boyfriend won't come from vaginal sex because he thinks it's sexist to come in or on a woman. Is this weird?

All right, girl, I think that your boyfriend is lying to you about why he can't come from vaginal sex. A million percent. There is no man on earth that is like, you know, I just think it degrades you as a female, that we are engaging in a sexual act, but the thing that finishes the act makes, degrades you as a female? No, no, no, no. Here's the thing. Maybe you feel weird coming on a person.

On their tits. On their tits, on their face, on their back. Like, maybe you just are super feminist. Whatever. Nobody on earth has ever been that much of the family. He doesn't feel comfortable. He fully said doesn't feel comfortable coming. inside of her. Yes, inside of her. Can't come from vaginal sex because he feels it's degrading to her.

So I just have a lot of questions. We didn't get enough information. Has he ever come? Does he come from anything? She just said won't come from vaginal sex. So does that mean he's never come? Comes from masturbating and blowjobs. Oral sex. I'm assuming she's on bad. Coming in someone's mouth is even is more quote unquote degrading. Maybe you don't have to finish in your mouth, I guess, because you could like give a blowjob and finish by jerking somebody off. But I mean, I don't want to like outright say like this guy isn't attracted to women because like I don't know enough information but like that's a good call no I I know one person ever that told me they had a problem coming from vaginal sex and they are emotionally pretty screwed up right so I knew a guy that

couldn't come from from sex and it was like it had nothing to do with his feminism you know I just I think there's like there's an emotional reason behind why he's not coming from vaginal sex I think that this is like something that he has like, I don't know, put a band-aid over it, like by saying, I don't know. It reminds me of, like, it reminds me of sex in the city when Charlotte was trying to figure out of Trey could get it up and she, like, realized that he could in the middle of the night and get an erection. Like, does this guy literally not come at all?

Does he jerk off and come? I'd be curious to know that. Can you ask him that? I would ask him that. There's like this whole, like, Madonna horror complex where, like, some men, like, really have a hard time looking at the person that they love and being, like, really wanted to sexualize that person. because this is like their wife and the mother of their children and somebody they really respect and love.

And I think some people are like, I can't look at her as like a filthy slut at the same time. But these are all emotional issues. Right. Wait, does she say how long have they been dating? She did say my boyfriend. Right. Okay. So, ooh, I don't know.

Sounds like it could be a deal breaker. I think there's like some serious emotional issues. And whether it's just stress or anxiety and like really bad problems with, I don't know. To me, like, it could be something as innocuous distress and anxiety. I think some people would look us and be like, he's gay. Like, that doesn't necessarily mean he's gay. He could be gay. Yeah, maybe.

But if he's coming from other means, I guess he could close his eyes when you're blowing him. But, yeah, I would say this is like probably an emotional issue and definitely talk to the person about it and do not accept. Not coming. I'm too much of a feminist to come inside of you. No. You're a liar. I'm telling you it's fine with me. I'm telling you it's fine with me.

So it's fine. Right. Yeah. Oh, man. Should we wrap up? Yeah. Is it weird? Round two. Thank you guys for listening for your emails, for your ratings and reviews, for sharing us in your stories. Please keep doing that. We love that. We will keep sharing your stories on our story. And our merch line, shop it. Buy it. New live dates should be up soon in maybe some different cities. I don't know. And yeah, subscribe, great review. Follow us. We love you guys so much. Thank you for everything.

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