Girls Gotta Eat - Should You Make a List for Finding a Partner?

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

If you're looking for a partner…should you make a list of what you want? We are deep diving on this question and discussing how to approach the list, what to include, and how to divide and prioritize things. We're also sharing our own lists, misconceptions about this exercise, and top qualities our listeners have on their love lists. Before we get into our topic, we're doing a little pop culture dive (Is Ben Affleck ok? Is Barry Keoghan hot?), talking about the best lighting for the hottest sex, Ashley's shares her foreplay pet peeve, and Rayna's neighbor gives us a show (we recommend watching this one on YouTube). Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: ZocDoc: Get a top-rated doctor for when you download the app for free at zocdoc.com/gge. Skims: Get free shipping on orders over $75 at skims.com. Babbel: Get 55% off of your subscription at babbel.com/gge. Hello Fresh: Get free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com/ggefree with code GGEFREE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make the list and then put it away. Write this list out and then say, Jesus, take the wheel. You might say welcome back to the... I was going to let you do it. It's our 300th episode. I've never done anything 300 times. I really was thinking about it. I've dated people for years.

I've probably had sex with somebody. Sex 300 times. Sex 300 times of one person. But other than that, just one. Not total people. Of our conversation from last week. Oh, sluts. I don't think I've done any.

I've certainly never had a job for six years. We went to school. I wasn't in school. We probably taken like 300 tests. But like, no, no, I know what you mean. I mean, here's the thing also. Does it sound like a lot to you? 150 did not sound like a lot to me.

200 sounded like, uh, yeah. I know 250 is like a miles. 300, like 250 sounds like a milestone. 300 sounds like. Holy shit. It does. It does sound like a lot. But then I'm like, it feels like it's more.

But then when you really think about it, all the work that goes into it, these are an hour to two hour episodes. Like we put a lot of care into them. You know, it is a lot and I feel proud. But I'm kind of like, what? It's not a thousand? Like, I feel like we've done this so many times. But I guess that's about right.

I mean, we're coming up on six years. It's 50, two weeks near. Also, are we going to make it to a thousand? I hope so. What? 18 years. 18 years. Is that right?

Yes. That's crazy. This 20 year podcast, still girls. They're like jokes on them. I stand by it. But I was thinking it's probably technically like 305, Mr. 305, because we have done a few bonuses back in our day. But still, this is technically like they're still numbered and this is the 300 like standard episode. I was looking at Emily Morris and I'll talk about earlier, but hers was like 13.

episodes and I was so impressive. Any milestone, be proud. You know when you're Peloton in and they're like, give it up for so-and-so from Kansas City on their 16,000 ride. You're like, when we talked about this in Brooklyn,

I was like, I don't understand if that's possible. You could Pelotan every day for the rest of your life. I would never reach that. I think I'm in like 300 rides. I think. Yeah. Let's check.

Not like, but I'm actually curious about mine. Oh, you're like 10x what I am. Well, keep in mind I did flywheel. I had a thousand on flywheel. Like my old olden days. A thousand. Yeah, I used to, I mean, I did it for so many years.

381. Oh, 328. Go off, girl. I'm really caught up. I was like, I'm not at 300. But also you did. Oh, that does count on your fake bike. So we're still doing the classes.

And you guys are new here. I bought a Nordic track and I was, what? I used the Nordic track while I streamed Peloton on my television. And those count. I was going to say it's even more because you're fake Nordic. That's count of your fell at Tom. Yeah. But, yeah.

That is funny. Good for us. We have done stuff 300 times. We have our six year anniversary coming up to you. And thank you guys. If you've listened to all 300, we love you. Thanks for coming to live shows and all of that. 300 Club.

Azul, would you like to join us? Because Azul, I'm going to talk about you. Skims kind of got me thinking that I wanted to show you guys his body. Azul. Come on. Body. His body. Come up.

Show everyone. Your body. So Ashley, you just had a Zool groom. So he is looking like OZempic, Azul. A body by OZempic. Listen, I didn't know that I was going to reveal this today, but I did put a Zol in Ozmpic. I'm an Ozambic mom.

Are you serious? No, no. You can do that. That's crazy. I've been suppressed and his eating. I've been abusing him. You're like, I can't really afford dog food right now. So I put my money towards Ozempic.

That's not funny. It's not funny to encourage people to don't have money to go out of Zempe. I just inject. him every day. No, he got groomed and he was there for four hours. I was like, are you all done yet? I was surprised. I didn't know he was still there. They went all the way off on him. And he just shed so much. And I brought him back from the holidays. I was like, I can't live like having three months of knot and everything's clean. And I was like, anything I could do to minimize the hair. I was like, make him look different. I don't care. He used to be kind of like anal about preserving like

the length and his face. And I was like, I don't care what you do. Just shave him down. and this guy went all the way off. He looks like a different dog. He looks like when I first got him. That's just Yonatan. Don't worry. I know. If you guys are walking around with a shirt on, which is upsetting.

He's barring my car. He's all upset. You're going to see him leave in a second in my car. He bars your car. What's he too many? Wait, he doesn't have a car. You just has a bike? He says the bike.

So he uses my car. This morning, he came over and, well, first he sat and watched me in my pajamas. And then we went to Airwant. He ate a burrito and I was like, I have to do some stuff. And he's like, that's okay. I'll just eat. He just watched me work. First of all, you know, I think he's great.

I like him a lot. But on the lists, we're talking about our list today. I will share most or all of mine. We'll see how my comfort level, but has a car is on my list. I thought you would be interested. I did not include transportation at all whatsoever on my list. Okay, we'll get to it. We're teasing you guys, but I'm really excited about the episode today.

I am too, and if you guys were watching YouTube, which you should. You can see his little body. Also, we got new mic covers. I'm very into them. They're really, like, special and bright. We got a new soundboard. Anna had a recommendation, so we did that, and these mics are pretty new. And then I was just, like, threw some mic covers in the bag when I was shopping.

I thought it would be fun. Did he just talk about the cowboy hat? So he's naked. He's a naked cowboy. He's literally a cowboy hat. Wait, now he's playing pony. Wait, Raina. He's taking all of his clothes off.

You can't even see it. Oh my gosh. You're so lucky. Of him. Yeah. What is he doing? He's got a suitcase. Are you working with me?

Is that really? So Ashley can see outside. I can't. Are you talking with me? He has a suitcase. He told me you use my car for whatever he wants. Maybe it's a body. Oh my God.

Okay. So really quick vibes only update. Oh, yeah. What is he doing? Rain, if he walks by with like a body bag, we do have to stop the recording. And call. somebody. Actually, he sent photo he sent me from Hawaii. Are you going to talk about this?

Listen, on my list today, we will talk about it was I said my goal for this year is to stop letting men who are not my man stop me from finding my man. I love it. And he does not fall into that category. Like, I actually talked to him about it this morning. Oh, like, you told him he could stay in your life. That's so funny. You're doing layoffs. You're like, you can't be my life anymore. You let him stay. You're like, you get to keep your job. We talked about it this morning. Because I do, there's a number of men in my life that prevent me from finding real men in my life and developing real intimacy. And I don't put him in that category because him and I really heavily talk about dating other people.

So like I don't stay home and stop my stuff. I'm on the television. Just huge television holding it like it was nothing. I'm turned on now. You guys, I wish I think he's turned the camera on. You can probably mount it. Oh, he can definitely mount it. Yeah.

Actually, I don't know. He can mount it. This is so. funny to just watch your neighbor walk by with the most random shit and he's putting it in your car. So you guys know that we're in the studio. There's one window into the studio and you can kind of see my car from it and Ashley can see who's walking by. I thought TV was huge. There he goes in. He's so hot. He's going back for more. What's nice? The body's next. I wish you guys could see this. It's a couch. He's got like a cold. He's got like a cold.

Okay, okay. But yeah, he was in Hawaii and he sent me a photo of his like shower in Hawaii and I said, you'd take anybody in there. And he said no, but I took some thirst traps. You want to see them? And I was like, yeah, just for research purposes. I have a friend like that. One of my good friends, Bobby, like, we haven't done this now. I'm not really trading sexy picks back and forth because I have a boyfriend. But I feel like we would combine each other's bodies and say you look hot and like if we've been working out or, you know, like I feel like you do have some opposite sex friends who you do that with.

And it is platonic. Don't get twisted. I've been very trying that. I would fuck him. But I don't want to date him. But I don't want to date him. Okay. And it does just also like my question was, did you take any girls in there?

Like I am so open to him telling me about dating other girls. So he sent me some photos. They were outrageous. I sent them to you and Tesla. I was like, I don't think I should be looking at this. And you were like, I shouldn't be seen as. I know. Sparkleyes, don't listen to this.

I was like, I feel like I shouldn't be looking at this. Well, just so you know Sparkly Eyes, Ashley said she shouldn't be looking at this. I'm totally kidding. I can look whatever I want. You can tell you what to do. It's 2024. Grow up Sparkling. I'm not out here.

Like, oh no. My boyfriend's going to be mad. I looked at a hot guy. Okay, so you, vibes only update. Yes. Vanilla frosting is back. Formerly blow gel. Currently suck and blow gel.

Yes, so it's vulva safe now. So if you've never used blowjob before, what it will do is activate the saliva glands in your mouth, make it real juicy. I'm holding up the sugar cookie, which we no longer sell. Sorry guys, but we do vanilla. So it's very similar. And it'll just make for a juicier, wet or tastier blowjob or pussy job or pussy job. Pussy job. Yeah.

Oral. enhancement for everybody. Yes. And we could not love it anymore. It really does spice things up in the bedroom and a little goes a long way. So vanilla frosting is being one of our top sellers since we start the company. So we're really excited to bring it back. Sugar cookie sold out so quickly. And this is a similar flavor profile. So if you love sugar cookie, you'll love vanilla frosting. And if you love sugar cookie, you're probably out of it because people are just like sucking that down. And these are usually vanilla frosting will have all year, but all of other flavors are seasonal. Yes. Get it while you can. And one week countdown to Cockring.

You guys, how excited are you? Everyone is so excited. You have asked for it. And we'll talk about this a little more next week, but like I will say like a cockering wasn't really for me. Like I've never used one that I really enjoyed. But what we always do with new toys is we spread a bunch out on the table and we say what's good about what's been done before, what's bad about it, what can we improve

upon? And we just found something that is really different and unusual. So it's really exciting. The texts about the Cockering were something else because, we had to talk about the people we were having to use it on. Like obviously I had Sparkal Eyes do it. And then one of our other partners on the product side, she was what's fucking that guy in New York had him put it on.

And she did her like gay best friend put it on. And then Rob tried it. Like we just everybody had a group effort. Yeah. Yeah. So we have like these texts that are work texts, but about like dick size and dildos. And it's just been crazy.

So we are really excited about this. A lot of R&D. went into it and we will tell you more about it next week. So if you're like, I don't know how to use this, is it going to fit my man? How's it going to work with my body? We're going to tell you all that next week. We're really going to give you the full breakdown. We will have it on video for YouTube and do it like a full tutorial and really hype it and show you guys more about it. But you can sign it for the newsletter.com and be the first to know when this drops and you can stick it in your bag and then put it on a dick. Yeah. When you go to the site, Vibeselionion.com to buy the vanilla frosting,

sign up for the email list. Yeah. So as we're recording, the Golden Globes were last night. And I I didn't actually watch them. I went to sleep. I really was trying to stay up, but I didn't do it. So I saw this clip, and I really liked it. It's on page text. You find it all over the night. It's Jennifer Lopez.

And somebody on the red carpet asked Jennifer Lopez, like, what do you think about Ben Affleck's facial expressions in his moods? I did not see it. And I've always kind of, like, wondered, like, what does she think about this? Because people are obsessed, but getting photos of him looking miserable while they're, like, shopping, while they're taking a walk, while he's opening the door for him. I mean, I've seen, like, dozens of photos. Like, people are obsessed with, like, getting that vibe of him looking pissed.

I'm obsessed with it. We share these all the time. Yes. And so, like, there's one of him outside just looking upset Spona Sagar out. Send it this week. And just him looking disheveled as fuck with a Duncan in his hands. The day he was, had a Starbucks cup. I lost my mind.

I was like, the world stopped. But so, you know, he's just a Boston guy, you know? Listen, I get it. I've always just wondered, like, what does she think about this? I wanted to talk to you about it. I didn't know what she said. I transcribed it. I've been so focused on the Taylor and Selena gossipy that I miss this completely.

It's a red carbon moment. And somebody just said, like, what do you think of Ben's like attitude prom or facial expression? Uh-huh. And she said, she was like so cool about it. She said, Ben is doing all right. You don't need to worry about Ben. Let me tell you, he is good. He is happy.

He is here. He's nominated. He's like, I'm chilling. I don't understand what people are so pressed for. I was just like, go off. And it was just like the most like, you don't need to worry about. my man, I'm going to worry about my man. Energy I've ever seen.

She's just like, he is what he is. It doesn't bother me. It shouldn't bother y'all. 100%. I just, I loved it. And I think it's so like applicable to so many relationships when people say something to you that's like unsolicited about your man. Like one friend said to me that another friend said to her about her boyfriend, like,

well, he doesn't have a lot of friends that like bother you. And she was like, it doesn't bother me. And I'm going to worry about him. I'm good. Right. And I just, I loved that energy. I feel like you and I would have a. that energy about our partner. Like, I have to date him. Don't worry about it. He's good. He's good and

we're good. Well, it's funny that you said Boston guy. I know. Because if you've come to our live shows, this is something that comes up in a story that we tell. But how Sparkleyes loves to use periods and texts and he's just a big period guy. So it looks a little aggressive sometimes. I don't think about it anymore. Obviously at first, I was like a little caught off guard with his text style. But I know him and I love him and like it's just now it's just like a funny thing. But I posted a screenshot of a quick conversation that we have. It was like regarding leave the world behind which fuck that movie that, like, ruined my life. But I had posted how he really downplayed that movie to me.

We just were on different pages about how we thought about it. But bottom line, someone said in my DMs and was like, what's with all the periods? Like, she was like, why is he such an aggressive texter? And I'm like, don't worry about him. But you're right, you're right. Yep. I like it, though.

You know, it's funny because I feel like the obsession with a woman's appearance, body language, facial expressions. like we do that more to women and we don't do it that much to men. So I actually don't hate that it is being brought up on the right carpet. Oh, I love it. And I've always won. I was dying for me to ask her finally. Like, what do you think about this?

And she's just so cool. Ben is doing our right. You don't need to worry about Ben. He is good. He is happy. He is here. He is nominated. I was like, go off, Queen.

That response is giving your mom. My mom would say that. Something about the tone and the way she texts you is giving murder. She punctuates everything with periods. Even if she's, like, excited about, period. I feel like you can find a text about, like, she's a Boston asshole. Something from the holidays. And she, like, writes in that way.

She does write like that. This is good. Don't worry about this. Okay, period. Yeah. It totally is. I think it's like a funny discussion about, like, I want my partner to portray to the world, but, like, they're a nice person and that they're, like, kind.

But other than that, you don't need to worry about him. I'll deal with it. Yeah. I mean, when people just get to up in people's business, making assumptions about a relationship, I mean, listen, we all like to talk our shit, but there's a line. And when people are, you know, just speculating on a relationship, they know nothing about and making assumptions and writing think pieces and all that kind of stuff. It's like, oh my gosh, like grow up. Yes, absolutely. There's a line. Some of it's funny and whatever. You could photograph me all day long and you

will catch me looking miserable and I'm not miserable. I'm just looking down at the ground. Do you do what times I see like a clip of our podcast and I'm looking down at the ground? I'm having the time in my life. It's just not registering on my face. Right. Also, like, when he's looking this type of way, it is pre-coffee. He has not had his, he's got his coffee in hand. He is not fully caffeinated. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the whole thing is Ben Affleck looks like he's all fucked up and because he's got his coffee in his hand. He's like he doesn't have his coffee yet. Yeah. He's a big, but first coffee. He's got a half of coffee for it. Was that stuff of Dunkin' Donuts, a joke? And the recent photos of him dropping everything. Well, no. I think it's a joke. Nothing. You never know what's real anymore.

I know. But I thought him like, dropping all that stuff. That doesn't give like Boston asshole. That gives like he got paid to do that. Yeah. What is that happening? He's pulling out. Did he open the garage?

I didn't hear him open it. I would die if he just backed right into your garage door. I would die for a different reason. Ashley, he just walked by and his shirts off. He knows what he's doing. He took his shirt. He moved the car to a place. I don't understand why he moved it there.

What is he doing? Now he's just fucking with us. You know what? He probably was like, wait a minute, this whole time I haven't had my shirt on. And they're probably, oh, actually, my face, I'm going to say, it's a shirt. He was like, what a missed opportunity. I know they're recording. He knows what he's doing. He should just take his pants off next. If I see this dick, that's it. I'm going home. I'm not allowed to look at that. I can't be here anymore. You actually aren't allowed to look at that. Okay. What happened to work today, babe? I want you to understand what happened. He was walking back and forth the

boxes putting him in my car. He got in my car. He moved my car three inches closer to the building, which I don't understand. He got out of the car and left and came back without a shirt. He's fucking with us. Okay. Raina! Why is he wearing a cowboy hat? This is insane. She's going out to film this so we can put this in the video version on YouTube. All right guys, Raina's outside. It's just me. It's a solo show now. just me and his old. Raina's out there filming him for your benefit, everyone. Does he have a gig? Where's he going? Is he going to a mail review? Is he taking your car to the strip club? I was hot. He took off his shirt. Why does he wearing a cowboy hat? Did you get a good video?

No, he had taken it off by the time I got out there. Go out there and get a picture of him. We can't let our audience down. When he comes back, you guys, I'll get it. We got to get him in the cowboy hat. Okay. So moving on, we talked about. We talked the Golden Globes, but I want to say one thing. I've been wondering if people think... Couldn't help but wonder. That Barry Keogan is hot. Listen, I didn't really think about him being hot

until I realized that that dick was not a prosthetic. So this is the lead actor in Saltburn. Yeah. And he has an interesting look about him. Yeah, he does. Like his face. And I'm not saying that it's bad or good. I almost wanted to do a poll.

And I was like, don't do that. It's like cringe. I don't want to be like, is this person hot? You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me. But I'm just curious because he has like a look about it. And now, you know, if that's really his dick, you know, it's like he's got this big old dick slinging. And I think he's got an air about him.

So I think- literal big dick energy. The second part of that, oh my God. All right. Oh, he's coming in. Do you have a mail review to head to? Huh? Are you stripping today?

No. I'm just packing. Okay. I'm just packing. I just took my shirt off and put on a cowboy. Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Save a horse.

That's the best video maybe we've ever taken. Unreal. Okay. Also, the last part of the movie, I'm not going to give a spoiler away, but in that last scene where he is with Rosem Pike in the coffee shop, he's supposed to like look older.

His hair is more kempt and he does look more handsome to me. His skin looks a little bit better. Yeah. So I do think that like, Maybe they purposely made him look a little bit like scraggly and younger. When they clean him up, he does a cotter to me. He definitely has an unconventional attractiveness about him. He's like freckles, which I like, like, I'm trying to figure out if I think he's hot.

Like, I can't decide. Well, first of all, it's hard for me to think anybody's hot next to Jacob Hallardy. Yeah. Also, you know, I think if he was 6'3, he'd be like a hard drop. Well, also, it's hard to look at in that 5-10 range. Yes. You're like, is he, is he not? And also, he looks so, you know, Jacob Palloy is 6-5.

Right, right, right. So anybody's going to look like a little baby now. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So it's hard for me to tell. Okay. So I just had that question. Yeah.

And I just was like, this will be such a weird Instagram poll. But I like genuinely we want to know. Also, he's Irish and he has this like thick ass Irish accent. I like, I saw him in a real voice. Yeah. He's like, I barely speak English.

I speak Irish. And it's funny to me. Okay. I just want to give a health update because I do feel like I talk about a lot of things and I get messages of like, how's your knee? How's your this? How's your that? So I had some loose ends.

I just wanted to run through everything. It's never crossed my mind for once. second. Six years, you're always like, we never closed the loop on this. Like, I am not the let's close the loop on this person. In business, I am, but not on this show. I also think this is a dating and sex podcast. So you think this would be like boring, but I think people really are into like medical body stuff. Everything related to like women's health and like our, you know, like birth control and things like that. So I just want to type a couple of things. Oh, I have a new thing for my resolution for this year. Don't get a boo job. Okay. I love that.

Boot job every year. Okay. Right, three years in a row. Three years in running. No boob jobs. Okay, my knee. I had talked about it. I heard it early, early in 2023, and then I fell and I heard it again. And I was trying to figure out what was going on.

It was just very tight. It was bothering me when I was driving and when I was sleeping and all these things. And so I have Dr. Hannan, Don't know orthopedics. And he couldn't really figure it out. I had to get an MRI. MRI are fucking insane. Have you ever gotten one? I never have.

They are the loudest thing. You're in the tube? My head popped out of the tube, but they have noise canceling headphones. It is the loudest thing I've ever experienced my life. So then the MRI came back inconclusive and then he just put me on this medicine. It's like basically an arthritis type medicine to clear it up. And it actually in two weeks it cleared it up, there was just like fluid in there. He thought I might have had a slight bone bruise, but he put me in the meds.

It cleared it right up. So my knee is fine. My nails. I went back to natural nails temporarily. Full year of gel X extensions, almost a full year. I just want to take a break. It's such a long process to get them removed and put back on. And I was like, I think I'm just going to just, I just don't, I'm tired of it.

Listen, Pion. You've seen me without these. Be honest, my nail beds are gross and it makes my fingers look weird. But they just look better like this. Okay. I can't be living in the world without any else. You can. You have normal nail beds.

So doing that, I just want to talk about my IUD and my hair loss, like just for a minute. So as you may know, I went off birth control in April, end of April, 2023, and I got an IUD a few months later. In that time, like kind of, you know, three. four months later, I really started to notice a lot of hair shedding. Like, it was really upsetting. And I want to speak sensitively because, like, I have friends that are like losing their hair due to chemotherapy. I don't want to, you know, come over here and be like, I was losing my hair. But I mean, regardless, I think that like, like, fact, you're losing your hair. Yeah. So I just want to be like, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. And I feel like it may not look different. But when I look back

at old photos and old videos and stuff, I can tell. And regardless, I was like losing handfuls of hair. Like, I started to hate washing my hair, like the amount that was coming out in the shower, or make me, like, bring me to tears almost and just clumps and clumps, no matter what? I was just like, this is crazy. And I'm like, what if this is the IUD? This is like so nuts. And I started to do a lot of research online. And I found this thing called Telogen of Fluvium, which is basically excessive hair shedding that happens three to six months after a traumatic event that can be hormonal. It can also be like a death or something really stressful, but it can be getting off the pill, which is like a huge shock to the system after being on the pill for 20 years, which I was on. And also, I'm not with a

IUD. I don't have the estrogen anymore. Estrogen can, or the synthetic estrogen, but that can contribute to hair growth. So taking that out of the mix, I did attribute it to that. And I went to a dermatologist just in case. And you know me, I, like, diagnosed it before she even brought it up. I was waiting for her to bring it up. She was, like, trying to figure it out. She did the test. Like, I basically went there just to make sure nothing was, like, crazy wrong. Like, they can look at your scalp and see if you're, like, really having some serious hair loss. And she was like, no, there's no scabbing. Like, your hair looks fine. And I was like, do you think it's this telegin? effluvia. And she's like, yeah, I actually do think it's that. Like, it was a weird moment.

Voice memo she sent me. She was like, I mean, obviously I diagnosed myself. So anyway, it did stop. It is a thing that stops. The Nutraful has been so impactful. I literally have these like baby hairs. I can see the hair growing back. This is going to be annoying, but it's fine. I'm happy that it's growing back. And Nutrival has been great. This is not an ad for neutralful, but I use it every single day. And they are a partner. And I'm so happy. And the shampoo you've been using. Yeah. And so everything that I've been doing, I'm seeing the growth and like I'm back to my normal. So I really don't want to scare anybody. This is something that is more rare. Certainly doesn't happen to everybody. And again, it was temporary.

And I wouldn't change anything. So at the time, I got my IUD and then I bled for like two weeks straight. And so at the same time, I was like bleeding for 12 days on top of losing my hair. I was like calling you like, I can't have this like IUD. I'm like my, I can't be bleeding. Yeah. And I'm losing my hair. And I finally, the bleeding stopped. I think I'm on the other side of it where I'm probably not going to have a period. I have the moraine in, those of you don't know. And I did have some bleeding early on that is subsided and it's been months now. And I'm like maybe I spot for a half a day and I'm kind of in that no period world, which I like. And I feel like it hasn't been too much of a change at all. And I'm happy with it. Yeah, in terms of like my sex drive or my

lubrication or my mood or my energy levels and things like that. So I do feel like that's what is working for me. Thank God. You got me thinking about getting that one in because I just have a copper, so I get a period. Yeah. And then the last thing I didn't catch people up on my laser hair removal experience, and I am super happy with it. And you're going to start going. Tomorrow. Yeah. I'm excited. I can't believe I didn't do it before. The pain level compared to a wax is a tenth of the pain. It's not painful. I got my underarms done 10 plus years ago when it was really painful. But I think technology is obviously improved and they do this cold air with it. So it just takes away any, like, the tiny burn sensation that comes with the

laser. It is so, I don't want to say painless, but like, I barely feel it. Like, if you have been doing waxes, which also if you want to do that, continue it, you know, if I was still in Atlanta, I would probably still be going to sweet peach because they're the best. But I'm like, I can't believe about the price is the same as a wax. Like, I'm so happy with it. And I'm going to a place called SEV-S-EV, and they're great, and I'm having a good experience. I have my third session this week. You're going to start going. And like, I just can't recommend enough. Pricing is second to none. I thought it was more expensive. Well, other companies, I checked with another like major national brand and it is five times the price. I don't really get it. So I've been happy with it.

But it's, you know, it's funny because I think it's off such a personal preference. Like, you want to keep your hair anywhere and everywhere in your body, you should. But I'm just done dealing with this on my vagina and I think I want to get my legs done too, but we were talking to this girl the other night at Alyssa's house and she brought up something very funny and she goes, I just think I'm not going to want to see that when I'm old.

Like her bald pussy when she's 70 and I, it shook me to my core. I don't know. It's like those cats, those old cats. Those bald old wringly cats. Because now I'm on this like, laser, laser, get everybody get laser and I'm like, why would you not? like, because I don't want to see that shit when I'm old. Okay, well, I do.

And I'm ready? That's hysterical. She had a good point. I just won't look that far down in the mirror. Yeah, I just, no judgment about whatever you want to do. And again, you know, I was worked with Sweet Peach for years. I can't hype them enough if you're in Atlanta and you have the luxury to go there and get sugars. You should because I want to always still hype them for that experience.

But outside of them, I haven't had great waxing experiences. I think it's also a generational thing. Like, I think our generation has no pussy hair. So like when we're that age, it's still going to. look normal to us, look normal to men our age. Like, I feel like the generation above us, like, Tom Sagar has this, like, funny joke where his dad looked at him and he's like, I just love a woman pussy hair.

Like, I feel like different generations like that. It's not our generation. But our generation hasn't hit those old days. So when our generation is 70, I really don't think I'm going to want to see it. So it's sort of like when a guy has like a double chin and they grow a beard, so they also see it. Right? So like when your pussy lips are wrinkling, But like, listen, your pussy at 70 is going to look just like your pussy on a hot day.

When it gets a little droopy and saggy. I don't know. And when I say you, I use the plural you, I'm not looking at Ashley's pussy on like a hot day. I think my seven-year-old pussy is going to be a sight for sore eyes. Or no, that means that. Listen, by then there will probably be technology to reverse it. You could get extensions. You could wear one of those muff, muff things.

A murkin. Right? I'm not wearing fake pussy hair. Like, that's, I'm not lying. I'm not going to cross. I'm just saying, like, I don't think it's going to look that good. But hopefully, like, I'll obviously be with a partner and he'll have some saggy balls and we'll just joke about it. Right. I just, I think it'll be fine. And also, I'm not making decisions today for what 70-year-old me is going to think.

100%. 100%. But I just thought that was a funny take. Those are my... Those are my wrecks for this week. Those are my wrecks for this week. arthritis, medication, natural nails, the morana. I'm on, and laser hair removal.

Those are my wrecks. I'm on medicine for hypertension. Doesn't make a wreck slide. Your dad can't talk to me about hypertension medicine enough. He's like amylotapine. Everybody's on Amlodotapine. The whole world is on a lot of pain. I'm like, I know I'm on amlodotapine.

So, yeah, that's my rack. Amlodotapine. It's so cute. You have my dad are on the same. Yeah. Me and every old man in this country are on the same blood pressure meds. Well, it's funny because I told my mom the meds I was taking. I can't remember.

Volterin or anaproxin or diphylovenac. I can't remember which one of it. All those sound familiar to me. I was Googling it, trying to remember it. And my mom was like, oh, yeah, I have a bunch of friends on that. I'm like, okay, mom, all your arthritic friends. I'm not there yet. I thought I might have been.

Like, I thought I might have had early onset arthritis. I mean, I was really nervous about it. And then it cleared up and I'm fine. I think a lot of people our age are going to have that, a more generation. Because, like, no one was typing on computers and cell phones the way we are. Oh, you mean, like, in your hands? Yeah, like, how is my thumb? not falling off yet.

I just need to speak on what you said. I basically like, listen, I understand sometimes you really are like super horny and you start, things get hot and heavy with your partner and they just take your pants off and you like go to it. Totally. That could be hot. I remember one time I was with Sparkless and like, I think you just like, whatever, I don't need to get too graphic. But I like kept my skirt on. Like it was just like a quickie.

It was hot. It was sexy. I love when somebody just pulls my pants to the side. Yeah. So I'm about it. But what I don't like is when I'm naked on the bottom and I still have my shirt on. Shirt and bra on and pussy out. And he says to me, why is my pussy out and my shirt is still on?

It is so you. It's very like specific. But I want to be clear. Like, I'm not in a intimate situation. Like, okay, first this and now this, but something about it. And everyone's small, it's fine. But, like, what I like for foreplay, we should all be open about what we like in foreplay.

What I like in for play is top there. You like for play to start of your ears and go to your toes. Yes, kind of. Kissing my neck. Tits. Pussy. Rina, be for real. It's so descriptive.

Why is my pussy out? shirt is still on. And you know, you like to sleep with a sleeping shirt and you don't have a brawn and you don't have panties on, you don't even wear underwear. It's like, I see a lot of situations in which you have a full-ass shirt on and your pussy's out. That's how you sleep.

That's how you work. The fuck. It's only for sleeping. I want my shirt on. I put my tits out before you get into my pussy. And it's very funny because, like, this has been a problem in my relationships since the first night.

I'm kidding. It's happened like twice, but the very first night we ever hooked up, night one. Yeah. Like we were in the hotel, we were in Boston, and I don't even know we'd gotten into pajamas, like, because we were just, whatever. And I did have like a pair of my, like, Tommy John, like top and bottom. And he, all I had left on was the top. And I was like, I hate this. I hate this, but I don't know this person that well. And like, I don't want to say it. And I don't want to take my own top off. I'm with you, though, because I said something to him, are you going to take this top off or not? Like, in a place, away and he was like, this has been going since the day we started dating, you and this fucking top thing. I'm like, well, just do it. Take it off. It is, it's weird to take her on top

off. I'm with you. If it was you though, if I was dating specifically you and you slept with a sleeping shirt on and pussy out every night and you were like, I'm going to spend a third of my time like this when you can't have sex with me. I'd be like, is she gaslighting me? It's just crazy. And we're fucking like, I'm just, I, different stuff. Yeah. Like, it's fine. Again, like we talked does Vanessa Marin, do things out of order, get crazy. But like, what turns me on is you need to be warmed up a little bit before you get into there. I had a weird situation the other day where I was with somebody pre-20204. So this still here's my goal. I was on top of him and all of my clothing was still on. And then we're in a hotel and it was really bright in the room, like crazy bright. And he was

like, you want to shut off the light. So I like went around the court. It was completely daylight. But it was just a lot of light in there. I can't explain it. I don't know. He had a request from the menu, I turned the light up. So I walked around the corner to turn the light off. And then I realized the shirt, he's laying down on his back. And the shirt that I had on was a spank's, like, skin tight, up around my neck, not coming off easily shirt. So I was like, let me just do this for him. So it was like a sleeveless turt, like skin tight. And so I did have to take my own shirt off. Nothing is more embarrassing. Because like, I was on top of him mounting him and I like hopped off and like went over to turn the light. And I was like, I can't make him like sit up. And this is the shirt so tight. I got to

take like one titty out at a time. Totally. Like there's nothing worse than being like, it's like coming up over. Yeah. It's like, like, put your nose up. Yes. It goes up. Like you have a pig nose. I was like, he can't see me like this. Yeah. So I just took my own shirt off, which was like, so weird. Yes, extenuating circumstances. You know what really startled me was the first time I ever hooked up with this guy, that guy from Denver that didn't eat. Before we'd ever had sex, he was like, I love going down and people. I was like, yeah, whatever. So the first time we slept, we slept together. He slept over. We woke up the next morning. In my room, it's morning. It is broad day and he started going down on me.

And I was, this is just, this is a lot for the first time. Yeah. It's just, it's early in the game. Right. It's first thing in the morning. She's just waking up. Your pussy is morning breath. It's right.

For a brand new person. Yes. First time to eat your pussy. Broad, like eight in the morning daylight. Yes. I need a little bit of a midnight shadow. Right. So that was what, that's what makes me uncomfortable.

I mean, I think I like having sex all times a day. all types of light, broad daylight, you know, dark. But there's definitely something that hits different in the pitch black. Like the same that hits different when you've had some drinks. Like you just get a little crazier, I think. My favorite lighting was New York City at night because there's so much light coming in. But you have no lights in your room. Skyline lighting.

Yeah. Skyline sex. Yeah. So like you're, it's pitch black in the apartment. But there's so much light coming in. Because like my bedroom is like almost pitch black at night. if I turn off all the lights. Yeah, that's, like, mine is not.

Like, I always have light coming in. Yeah. You know, so when the lights are all off, like, I still, it's still, you can see what's going on. But we had sex. This was in when we were at that Bay resort in Dewey, where it was like black. Like, you couldn't see your hand in front of your face.

And sometimes you just get crazy. Like, you say crazy stuff. Right, because you're like, who said that? Yeah. You don't even know. You can't even see them. You're like, was that them? There's something about not being able to see anything.

I don't know. know if I've ever done that, like pitch black. And you say, like that, we still look back in the night, like, remember that crazy stuff? He's like, remember when you said that thing? You're so uninhibited. You say stuff. You're like, you can't even physically do it, but you're just like, I'm just going to say it. Yeah. Okay. Should we get into our topic? I want to hear about your I'm really excited to talk to your resolution stuff, too. So we're talking about making lists and should you make a love list essentially. Oh, I love that. This episode is your idea. So, I love that. That's so good.

No, I didn't come up with a love list, though. That's great. But this year is the first year in my whole life that I ever made, like, an actual resolution list after NIRs. Like, I was super intentional about it. I picked, like, the day I was going to do it. I picked where I wanted to do it. I wanted to go to Soho House in Malibu. So I wanted to be looking at the ocean. So, like, I just knew that if I was, like, looking out of the ocean, I'd, like, feel centered and ready to think. And I thought about this for days. I was excited to write my list. And I, like, took a couple hours and, like, wrote the list. And what I wrote at the top of the list was every day, like, I want to look back. I want to look back. at this and say like the decisions, I'm not going to do this 365 days, but the decisions I made this day or this week serve to further the promises that I made for myself about this year. Wow.

And like, so deep. I love this. Like, what's more lame than breaking a promise to yourself? And I made this list and it's how I would like to live my life this year. And some of the goals are bigger and some are smaller and I tried to segment it out by life, love, and work. And I just, I want to look back all the time and just say, like, is what? What I'm doing is the path I'm on, going to, like, honor what I promised myself I was going to do this year.

So I think it's, like, good to look back on that. I think that's amazing. Like, you build trust in yourself. I think that you and I both, like, trust ourselves and we have a lot of self-worth, but it only helps to trust yourself, build your own, like, self-worth, self-value, and then also giving yourself grace when every day is not perfect. Yeah. And I think it's very easy once you're in a situation in three months to rationalize what you're doing.

And I want to be able to say, like, when I sat down, I was intentional about this, I promised myself I would do this this year. And so I can just go back to that because I will rationalize all kinds of decisions when I'm in the moment. Yeah. And so I wanted to tell you something funny about the list. So my mate, he's still walking around.

I'm back. My two main goals is to stop letting men or not my man. Stop me from finding my man. Can you say it again and slower? Stop letting men who are not my man. Stop me from finding someone who is my man. Stop me from finding my man. Yeah.

My man. stop letting men who are not my man stop me from finding my man. Yeah, that's the goal. And it's been really helped. That goal has been helpful this week because there's like a couple times when I wanted to like pick up the phone this week and like have a phone call with somebody that like would maybe emotionally fulfill me, but not physically fulfill me, not long term fulfill me.

And I was just like, I'm not doing that. That's what I'm doing. And it helped me to just be like, don't make the phone call. So I love this. I'm so happy about it. Thank you so much. And my second goal is that I do want to like. get some type of sex therapy certification.

So I would be a counselor, not a therapist, so that I don't have a BA in therapy. But I want to... Well, not yet. We'll see how this goes. But the thing that I wanted to tell you, it's so funny, is... So I was trying to figure out what courses to take.

And there is, like, a national organization that regulates whether you can call yourself a sex therapist, a sex counselor, et cetera. And they have certain accreditations you have to meet, and there's different schools that are accredited with this. So I was trying to figure, like, which program to take. So I was like, let me just ask some of the experts. So I texted Shambudram and Vanessa.

Maron and Emily Morris, who have all been on our show. The trifecta. Famous sex therapist. And I texted all three of them. Not Esther. Can you imagine? I also, I'll tell you something about Esther. Oh, God, okay.

So I text all three of them, and they were like really wonderful. What are your goals? What do you want to get out of this? They all gave me recommendations. So like Vanessa suggested, like, Esther Perel has these courses called sessions. You pay like once a month. Oh, okay. And she, there's like a couple hundred where she does like break down to certain topics.

And she was like, well, why don't you do that? and that would probably open your mind up to more stuff. But there aren't, like, necessarily credits associated with it. So if I want to, like, say, like, one of the co-owners of vibes only is a sex counselor, I can't say, like, I took all these sessions classes. So that was eye-opening, yes. And, yeah, a lot of them said, like, a lot of this information you probably have. Yeah.

But anyways, that's my journey. And I was just laughing, thinking, like, I'm proud of the relationships that we've fostered. And I can send those text messages. And I did the research ahead of time. What I don't like is when somebody who, like, has never had a podcast. says to us like, how do I start a podcast? Well, we're somebody that just hasn't even started to research on their own. Like, I'm always happy to, I mean, not every complete stranger who wants to pick my brain.

But that would be my whole life if I, like, leaned into all of that. But I'm always happy to help friends and people I care about and want to see succeed and things like that. But, you know, yeah, when you really go to someone for advice, like, hopefully you've done some of the work on your own. Yeah, I don't want to insult somebody by being like, I didn't look into this at all. and I want you to give me your time. So I made sure that I researched through organizations that give you these accreditations and what the programs are that look really good.

And I just said, like, what do you think about these ones? Yeah. So. And I think you'll just find your way. You know, like you're doing all this. You don't have to decide today what the path looks like. Right. And I think that that's another problem with resolutions

for a lot of people is just like, I'm giving myself a little bit of time. I have calls scheduled with two of these places tomorrow. Like, I don't need to be signed up today. Yeah, that's the thing we always say. Just one little thing to like, move the goalpost forward every day or every week or whatever it is. Just like even if it's small, just like moving things forward in the direction that you want to go.

Yes. And you'll get there. So I was thinking about that when I made my list for today's episode about like dating because I thought like it's important to like look back at the list and say like are the people I'm dating honoring what I promised myself I would go date. And I think definitely when you're horny it is easy to rationalize like, well, this person's in front of me and I'm hungry and I'm trying to eat. Yeah, if you look back at the list. And I want you to obviously talk about the list you made and how impactful that was for you. And if you think you found it or not. And I think it's a really interesting exercise and I've really enjoyed it.

Good. Oh my God. I can't wait to hear your list. So, yes, that's what the episode is about when you're looking for a partner. Should you make a list of what this quote unquote ideal partner looks like, what you're looking for? There's no perfect person in the world. We're not perfect. We're all imperfect, but you can find the perfect person for you.

Someone in one of the comments was like, well, you're probably not an idea. partner. So why would you? I'm like, shut up. Some of these people, first of all, so we posted on Instagram, do you believe in this exercise to our followers on girls got to eat? And then why or why not? And it was really split down the middle, maybe probably more yes, but still a significant amount of nose. Like people felt really divided on this. And again, we love that you guys open up to us and share. And then we asked you to elaborate further and like your experience of making a list. So then we asked you to tell us what's on your list at the top of your list. But that first question slide, this bitch wrote, no, because I'm not in high school.

And at first I was like so mad. Like, you're so mean. And then I started laughing. Like, what a bitch. Like, it's funny. That's so mean. You're so rude. Like, clearly we're not in high school either.

You know, like, it's right. Like, we're going to read this. You know you're just saying this to us, right? It's like, I'm not offended, but all these people are saying these nice things of like, yes, and this is how I manifest in my current partner and this and that. And like, after I got divorced, I did this. And it's like, no, because I'm not in high school. It's like, what a cut?

Like, you're the person that wrote that DM us. That's funny. Last time I was just, my immediate reaction was like, ugh. Like, way to be a really, like. overt, mean girl. And then I was like, that's, live your life. She should be true to her. That is so funny.

And I think with all these, it's nuanced, right? Like, it's not a hard, fast thing. I'm not going to, like, write this list and be super rigid and it can't ever change. And I'm not going to give people room to, like, be who they are and grow. And, like, my list has 40 things on it. Some people have 55 things on their list. Or 10 or 5. Right.

And I, like, in my list, I went through the list, I starred the four most important. important things on the list. If I meet part of the list, great. Like, this isn't such a rigid thing. It's not like he must be, and I went super superficial and I went super deep. I did both. But like, if I find a guy that's not 5-11, I'll live. Right. Like, and that's the point. And then of course, some people interpret it differently and think that it's a checklist, must be six, three, this job, this. And that's not what it is. Like, the point to me is make the list and then put it away. Write this list out. and then say Jesus, take the wheel,

your proverbial Jesus, whatever you believe in. Like, put it out in the universe, and so you have it and you know what you want. I'm not saying make this list, and then every time you meet a guy, whip it out like your TSA, trying to see if they can board the plane. Like, it's not that,

and it's not to be so rigid and write people off. It's just, I think it's a nice exercise to do, and there are plenty of people in the world who have never done this and are in a great healthy relationship too. Yeah, it's just a guide. It's just nice to have the guy. And again, like, I do meet people that are fun on a first date.

And so I think, I'll go on a second date with them. But like, then you become in some type of situation, at least with this person. And you're like, this person is none of the things that I want. And I promise myself, I'd find these things and I'm not. But you can rationalize away that person. Yeah. It just comes down to manifesting.

That's what it is. Played and simple, whether you think that word is played out or not, I really believe it works. We had a great episode last year with Roxy about it. We believe in it so strongly. and there are a lot of steps, of course, to manifest and whatnot. But at its core, it's just like putting this into the universe and even just saying it out loud. Like, I think of the guy that I dated right before COVID, and that was another time where I really feel like I manifested.

I, like, said it out loud what I was looking for. One night, like, in bed, felt fucking awkward and, like, embarrassing to do it. But I like, said it out loud, like, just put out in the world. I didn't have a list. I just wanted someone that I liked to hang out with. Like, at that point, I was not looking for a partner. We all know that was not my goal at the time. This was like early 2020.

And I was like, I just want to meet somebody I like and I'm excited about. And I met him the next night. That's crazy. I said that out loud of my bed, like laying in bed with Dewey. And it was a Sunday and I met him on the Monday. We have a lot of people that said that. I wrote this list. And like I think it's just like people will think of you how you speak about yourself.

It's sort of like that. It's like, if I make this list and I'm like, this is what I want, then you will go after that. It's not like these people magically appear. It's like you open your eyes. eyes up to the fact that they appear. And our friend Rob always says that his wife says you have to fish with the right pole. And I love that because it's just like, if you write a list and you're like, I will find exactly this, then like you're shopping for the right thing. Yeah. I mean, we had an overwhelming amount of responses of people being like, yes, and I found the person. Totally. Yes.

And I found the person. Yep. You know, and I didn't really see much of no, this has never worked for me. It was like, no, I don't buy into this. I don't do this. Or it was like, yes, and it works. Yes. networks. There was a no, and I thought it was interesting because I want to refute it. This woman said no, because it limits going outside of your comfort zone. And I think for me, it actually pushes me outside of my comfort zone. Because like, if I make a list and I'm like, this is what I see in an ideal partner. It will force me to do that thing. Otherwise, I will go to a bar. I'll find somebody hot and fun and I will like forego what is important to me for what is easy for me. And so for me, it actually pushes me outside of the comfort zone.

Yeah. Another thing that I screenshot was, no, that's insane. No one is going to meet every single aspect on your list. And again, you just didn't understand what we're trying to do here. That's fine, you know, like if that's how you interpreted it, but that's not what we're saying either. We're not sitting here with the checkbox because I think that you could also find someone that doesn't meet the things on your list that treats you well and you're in a great healthy relationship with and you can look back and be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, that was stupid. Or you can look back and be like, oh my God, I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know myself. And I also think the list, again, for me, I'll talk about my experience. I made it and I put it away and truly did not

think about it. It was a fun, silly thing I did with. a friend over drinks. But we'll talk about how it really did pan out. But I think if you made one this year and you looked at it next year, it's interesting to see how you might have grown and how what you want might have changed as you get older and learn things and grow. Absolutely. Somebody else said it feels like writing a recipe for a person, but like I feel like it feels like writing a recipe for me, like what I want. And like you said, it's nice, it's nice exercise to look back on the list and be like, did I find this? Did I achieve this? Even if you aren't going to look at every day and reference it if you're going to be more like Ashley and just put it down on paper,

manifest it, go out into the world. It's just nice to look back and be like, did I get these things that I thought I wanted? Yeah. And if you are young and you're just dating casually and you're in your early 20s, for example, and you're like, I'm not ever thinking I'm even going to settle down until later my 20s or my early 30s, which is great, you know, go off, love that energy. But I think it would be cool to like make this list at 20, make this list at 25, make this list at 30, make this list at 30, you know, and like really look, I wish I would have done that because I would have died to see what I would have wanted at 22 or 25, you know, like how different it would have looked. Or similar.

So one of the things I like wrote down is my list is not going to be your list because every age you want different things. And I think you would expect things from different people at different ages. So like at 25, I don't think it would have, it's nice. And if you get it great, but I don't know that it's totally fair to say like, I want a partner that is my age and has all of their career money figured out. Like 25, that would be crazy. amazing. That's great.

But at 40, you better have your career and your money figured out. Like, that's a non-negotiable for me now. 15 years ago, who cares? They're figuring it out just like I am. Right. Exactly. Yes. Totally different type of list. Yeah. Do you want to just get into the list? Like, what does the list look like? Yeah, I want to credit this woman because the term love list I got from her book. Her name is Elena Merzello. The book was written more than 10 years ago.

But it's called The Love List, A Guide to Getting Who You Want. And she made these lists and she wrote a book about it. And she surveyed men and women about like what's more important to the male race and the female race. But she basically uses this analogy of the grocery store and going grocery shopping when you're starving. And I love that analogy of like, you're single and you're just like, I'll take anything. Anybody who will love me. And to me, like this is like a grocery shopping list for a person. I love that like analogy where you like ahead of time or like this is what I'm going to shop for.

Yeah. And I also think that the point is kind of that you really want a partner. You know, like, I think I didn't do this till August 2022 because I didn't really want a partner till that. Like, I think sometimes it's fine if you're like, I don't have a list because I don't care. I'm just looking for people who were fun. You know, like, you are in your 20s.

You're like, a list of what? Like, I'm just dating. I'm trying to figure out what I want. Like, I'm going through it. So I just don't even think this whole concept is applicable to everybody. I didn't even know myself enough to read that list. I know what the fuck I wanted. And like you said at different ages, like the person that I was,

so in love with it, 28 was going to marry. That would not be my partner today. Right. He's wonderful. And, like, I think he's a great person and will be a great partner to somebody else. But, like, given the opportunity, I would not choose him again necessarily. Yeah. Like, I'm in my 20s. I'm running around living in a city, New York City, whatever it is. Like, I have a different list every week. This week, it's fuck a fireman. You know, like, it's just, that's the list. Right. And if that shit, say it out loud. But this was like, I did this exercise in, again,

in August 2022. I remember I was in Chicago doing my stand-up tour and I said that I really wanted to find a partner at the early of 2023, but I was really thinking that way towards the close of 2022 and it was just like, I want to find somebody. I feel ready. You know, we've like started this other company. I did my stand-up tour. Like I feel like really good professionally. I really feel like I want to find somebody and I was talking about it with Oscar Aden who was on the road with me opening for me. And we were at the Smith in Chicago and he was like, let's make a list. And he was like, my therapist had me do this. I think it's a really good exercise. And I will say that at that moment, I was kind of anti-list. Like, I was like, I don't think

that's for me. You know, I was almost one of these naysayers in the comments, kind of like, I don't know, I kind of know what I want. I just kind of want somebody that makes me laugh and this and that. I have my things in my head. And he was like, no, we're doing it. Be as shallow as you want. And he was like, let's put everything on the list. And it's an exercise that like wildly worked out. but in the moment, it was just like a funny, fun thing to do. I hear him in my head too going, being as shallow as you want. Like, you should. He was like this perfect person to do with it because he goes, first up, height, like, hair,

what do you want to do for work? What do you want them to drive? Like I didn't have, you know, actually car make and model. But, you know, it was just like it is all across the board. And I think like I call that a master list. And I think that's fine to make that. And I'll share it. But I also think it's really important if you really want to think about this

to really just have two buckets. And one is like, you're non-negotiables. Yeah. And then the other stuff is like, that'd be fine. And it's fine if it doesn't work out. Like I think of my list,

like what of my list was like, blonde hair, blue-wide, Caleb in Boston, can't drive a BMW. You know, like I would look back on it and laugh. Like, I didn't pull it out until we were already in it.

So I was a little scared to look. I like braced for impact because I forgot about it. It had been, you know, a year. And I was like, oh my God, that list. And I just dug it up.

And I was like, oh shit. I can't even believe this. I can't believe that it worked out so much. And I'm excited to hear some of the stuff on it. And to your point, I want to read like my criteria for like what went on my list. But I got this from one of our listeners. She wrote, there's the needs to have and the nice to have. I love that.

And so I was like, okay, like when I wrote my list, I went back. That's a great way to put it. I know. Two buckets. Yeah. So when I wrote my list, I went back and I starred the needs to have. Like non-negotiables. like, I, yeah, I would love you to look like Dave Batista.

And I'd like you, he's going to sue me soon. He's going to be like, you might, I really, it's too much. I'm not going to sue you, but he might not get a restraining order. So restraining order. Like, yeah, I would like you to look like a yoked out, bald, just roighted out, like six foot five wrestler. I love it. If you like Jason Mamoa, the rock, Dave Batista, like, that's my dream.

But did my last boyfriend who I was super in love with look like that? Fuck no. I was bald and nothing else in common with that people. Okay. Didn't have an ounce of definition on his body. So I went through and just starred that. Yeah. And like when I'm talking about non-negotiables, like I'm talking pro-choice, believes

of women's rights, believes in LGBT rights, like not a misogynist, not a racist, you know, like top level values. People can change over time. But those things are so important to me. Doesn't want kids. Top of the list. has close relationships, family friends, not everybody has a great family,

so just close relationships in general, someone that values them, likes dogs, enough, isn't deathly allergic, has his shit together, is an adult, doesn't have a bunch of unresolved trauma that I'm going to bear the brunt of. Trauma's fine, we all have our shit, but you don't deal with it.

Not quick to anger, treats me with respect, and not a huge drinker or gets drunk a lot. All the other stuff, yes, you're going to have to make me laugh, you're going to be kind, like, those can be on your list, but those are just, I'm not going to go down the road with somebody, like, those are, like, obvious to me.

You know what I mean? Like, they are on the list, but, like, makes me laugh. It's like, yeah, I'm not gonna, it wouldn't even get past go if you weren't kind or made me laugh. Like, that stuff is like, that's on everybody's list. But these things, I'm like, I'm not moving forward at all if these things don't track. Yes. And everything else, nice to have. Nice to have.

And I think that you have to separate out things that everybody wants. Everybody wants a partner that's nice. Kind, respects them, loyal. And then you need to segment out what makes it unique and specific to you. You specifically don't want somebody that drinks a lot. People, other people would be like, that sounds like a nightmare. That sounds so boring to me. Me, 10, 15 years ago, that wasn't even on my radar.

I wanted somebody that partied and drank a lot. Totally. But now I'm like, it's not for me. Like it's been on the same page. It's a very specific thing for you. I saw a lot of that, though, doesn't drink a lot. I saw a lot of drinking and drug related stuff on the question that we asked, our listeners. Lifestyle is very important to me.

Like, what are we doing on the weekends? How are we socializing? What does your friend group look like? extremely important to me. I put on my non-negotiables list. Yeah, let's hear it. That your whole personality cannot be rooted in camping, skiing, and music festivals.

That's not for me. So I'll reach you the criteria for how I did my list. It's a lot of things we already talked about, but just like sum it up together. Oh my gosh, this is all so cute. Like a different dog. Ozil.

Zempec Ozul. Blue Zampek. His name's blue. Blue Zampick. Okay, so I took some of our listeners, suggestions, yours, Oscar. So I start with superficial and deep characteristics.

And so differentiate between needs to have and nice to have. Things that make someone a nice long-term partner and not just a good date. So, you know, some people are a lot of fun on a date. I wouldn't date them, you know? Use your experiences, both good and bad to know what worked for me in the past and what really didn't. So that really went into my list in terms of lifestyle, how you think about money, how emotionally in tune you are. I thought about, like, what did I hate?

So when you said somebody who doesn't have like a ton of unresolved family trauma, that won my list immediately. because I've dated a lot of people that have had extreme trauma and I've dated ones that have a lot of therapy to address it and a lot that don't. And if you don't, it's hard. It's hard for you with somebody and support them. And I want to talk sensitively.

It's not that you don't have trauma. You know, like for me, I did find somebody that has a similar family structure and that it's two parents that are still together, not really a lot of trauma, has a sibling, one sibling. You know, like I think sometimes Robb says that too. He's like you can gravitate towards people.

people that have a similar family structure as you. You don't have to, but it's just that undelt with, you know, like a lot of people had on their list is in therapy. Tons of people, you know, everybody has trauma. I have trauma. I have tons of mommy issues. It's just, I would like to be somebody that acknowledges the trauma and is working on it. At this age also, again, this is just like coming from women who are, you know, I'm 40, late 30s, you know, mid 30s, early 30s. Like I just, some of this stuff is not stuff you really need to worry about. so much in your 20s. A lot of people don't start dealing with their shit

till later in life. When I got engaged, I didn't know that I qualified it as trauma. He seemed fine. So I believed he was fine. Yeah. To me, this is like your partner partner. Like we're talking about the person you want to like end up with, you know? Like this is you know, you guys get it. Okay. A couple more. To what we were saying before, everybody's the same

basic qualifications of smart, kind, respectful, loyal. So think what makes your list unique and be specific and think about things like lifestyle, drugs and alcohol, hobbies, family, friends, sex, financial goals, career education, things like this. I have a list of hard nose and non-negotiables too. And help me to start with that. So like excessive recreational drug use or really any recreational drug use,

not for me. Mm-hmm. Not going to be for me. Once you make the list, organize them and so are the ones that are most important to you and keep in mind that this is always evolving. So at different ages, you will have very different qualifications for things like careers and finances. Right.

So that was my list of how I like, it's obviously what we talked about today. But that's how I did it. I love that. And I think that you can, like, go as wide with it or as narrow as you want. I mean, how someone makes you feel. I mean, the top of the list is also like... How do you're with them? Yes.

And do they make my life easier and or happier? You know, like, those are two things. And I'm just like, you've got to be like, is this person stressing me out more than I already am stressed? Like, life is tough. Like, got to find somebody that doesn't make it tougher. I agree. And we were talking about something before we were, we were talking about, like, couples that

fight in public in front of other people and feeling like, I'm a united front teammate with my partner. Like that to me is like, this is how this person makes me feel. So those are like specific. Some people are like, I don't care. We'll put our shit out there. We'll fight in public. Whatever.

And I love to see it. We've nothing. Thank you for your service. That is my favorite spectator sport. I am not in the game anymore. I've been out of the game for years. I am not in a relationship where we're doing that, but I love to watch it. I can't get enough of it.

God bless those people that are so generous. My point from when I graduated. He was an Austin. My boyfriend went to graduate college. We were a disaster. Yeah. He had every recreational use problem.

He was a gambler and sex addict and used too many drugs. I'm 22. Who cares? But like it was every problem in the book. I would just like go from bar to bar trying to find him sometimes at night. And when I would find it, I would be like, you. And we would have these crazy fights. One time I tracked him down a strip club.

The fights we would have, what a... Listen, I wouldn't do it anymore. I mean, this was me at 30. I mean, I remember just being in a fight with my ex and Jenny came over and we just got all drunk and I was like, I'm going over there. Yeah? And I just like busted in his door.

I used to do that. I would just be like, like, I would just collate man up in his, one time he was recording a podcast. I just busted and he's working. I was like, did you trade on me? You know, like, it was just crazy. When you're mad, you're mad. So I think how does this person make me feel is really important?

And I think some people have different answers. So like some people really want to be with somebody who like, I'm the star in the relationship. I'm the one on the pedestal. Other people are like, I want to be in a relationship with somebody that takes care of everything. They are the star. They're number one. Like, some people like to feel really safe and protected.

I don't necessarily need to feel like that. Yeah. I mean, there is more on my must have list. I mean, it's like support what we do, you know, actually like it. You don't like me in spite of it. You like me because of it. And so there's things like that too. I love that.

Yeah. Like the things on your list, like you should like me because of this, not in spite of it. Like maybe you're somebody that's like really. a little uptight and rigid, but you're the one that always makes the plans. It's always in charge of the group. Like, you should be with somebody that loves that, not somebody that thinks that you're uptight.

You should be with somebody that qualifies that. It's like, she's got it. She's in charge. She's running shit. And I was talking to her friend Jackie the other day, and she was just like, there is a lid for every pot. Because I was like, I'm a lot. I'm like, the guy that I was with a couple weekends ago.

I'm not going to try to gatekeep with you guys. It's just my ex. An ex situation, ship. He's an ex at this point where it's been years. You can call him. Yeah. I think that I was just, I was being a little annoying to him.

I was just being very needy of a lot of like love and affection and touching. I think it was like annoying him. And I said to Jackie, like, it got my head a little bit. Like, am I like a little much now? Like,

am I like a little needy? And she was like, no, some people are going to love that. I love that you said that because I have a side of me that like really only my romantic partner gets to see. I mean, I feel like you can probably picture it.

But like, I'm not cuddled up with you like acting like this. Like I have a real. soft, like needy, kind of jokingly way, but I really do have a demeanor that I am in a romantic relationship only. And again, it's not to the excess. I wouldn't, I don't think it's like some needy, obnoxious thing. But I think like a lot of women just kind of go into this like a little more submissive like space sometimes. And I know that Sparkleyes just liked my big personality and like seeing me on stage and like that he thought I was like such a bad bitch. And so I was like,

is he going to like both? You know, like is he going to just, he has said like, I'm so surprised to like how soft you are sometimes and how like, you know, cutesy and like needy you can be. Like he finds it cute and endearing. And yeah, and deering. Like he likes both sides. And he is someone that has both sides as well. I think he has a very like masculine got his shit together, doer type of person. And then he is really open emotionally and sensitive.

And that quality is something that I just felt like I couldn't even find. Like I knew I wanted that. but I was like, is that even realistic? That was not even on my list. And I say this to say that he is so much more than I ever could have put on a list. And like, I feel emotional talking about it because I just can't even believe it sometimes.

And I just can't believe it's him. And it's not who I would have like picked. I say that with no sort of insult. I just can't believe that it worked out like this. And it's some of those things that I'm like, I did make this list. And he really checks the boxes and I'll read it. I'm not trying to like, I can't like, keep it.

But there's these other things too. I'm, I can't believe I've found this, you know? I mean, I always knew that there was a soft spot inside you. I just think that, like, it takes the right person to unlock that. Like, not every partner is going to do that for you and turn you into that. And he actually said that about you. He said, like, sometimes it just takes the right person to unlock a certain part of you. And maybe you didn't even imagine that you were going to be like that.

But you're in a space that makes you feel safe to behave like that. Yeah, it really is like, so funny, my college girlfriend, Bridget would always say there's a lid for every pot. I think, like, her mom said to her. Like, it's just a very cute little thing. Well, I was like a little in my head when I got back because, like, I realized, I was being like a little needy because I said to you like it didn't turn out exactly how I wanted it to but I did have fun over the weekend and that's not my boyfriend and if it was I would expect different things from him but I was just very needy of like a lot more affection and I think that he is very

avoidant and so it pulls that out in me and I'm not like that with most people but I think I was like annoying him a little bit I think he was just like right now relax stop run public stop and I just was like in my head and Jackie was just like you're not a lot and a lot of people would really like that. Yeah, it's exactly that. Like, you will find the person that likes that about you, you know, it really is so true. Like, there is, like, someone for everyone. Yeah. So make the fucking list. Yeah. Okay. So let me hear. But it reminds me really quick that I screenshot this one. It's this girl, it reminds me the thing I just said where I was like, I didn't think this, I could find this person who like had this like masculine side and this like emotional side,

whatever. But she wrote, yes, I did make a list, including things I have no business wanting. And it And it worked and she writes, and it worked. It's like, I have no business putting this on this list, but look at me. That is so funny. I know. Look at me go. Okay, am I really sharing this? This is like, okay, so here's the list I made with Oscar in August 2020.

Okay. Also, I don't need to defend this, but he was like prompted all these. I wrote out all this stuff before I start this and I wrote like, do I care about their career? Do I care about their age? Do I care how much money they make? Like, make the list of. the things you want on the list. Yeah, like, but this stuff, again, it was just like teeth. What I did was, it's a little lighter, you know, like, this was just an exercise I did that

I'm using as an example that it did work out, but it was like a good, you know, a gay bestie just being like, tell me if you want him to be toned. You know what I mean? It was just like, tell me what his body type looks like. So that's kind of, I did mine with prompts. We should have Oscar, like, you know, take clients for this. Okay, 511 plus, which, you know, I was trying to be sensible, but he is 6-3. So aim high, ladies. Tattoos, S in parentheses. He has 14, some facial hair. We got a full beard, toned.

Okay. Ambitious, driven, self-sufficient, like all of those things. Funny, sense of humor, challenging and or inspiring. Nice legs. You know, as nice size, your dad. Well, his legs, they're fine, but they're also, like, tattooed, which is real nice. Full head of hair. Mm-hmm.

Good teeth. not skinny lips full lips lips and hands are important he's the best lips yeah he's a great face good manners supportive

independent sexually experienced and or exploratory west coast he did not make the cut on that one whatever loves dogs or has a dog values family

honest communicative successful has a manly hobby or basic knowledge I just wrote manly Yeah. Has a car or motorcycle. Similar music preference. We got that unlock. Good traveler, moderate drinking, liberal. I love this list. It's just kind of, I can envision who this person is. It's not that deep. I don't know. It was just like a funny exercise we did over drinks, but like it somehow found the whole list except for the West Coast thing. Honestly, I, listen, I don't like your list more than my list. I love my list. But I think that it's just really straightforward. It's like prompts. What do you want their political affiliation to be like, how do they feel about pets? What? What do they drive? Yeah.

Seriously. That's how he prompted me. But, like, I also found the physical person. It's pretty crazy. Down to the lips. Down to the lips. I wrote tattoos, too. Tattoes are important, but it's like, you know, I don't, I can't with a guy that's

no tattoos. It's a red flag. It's gross. Yeah. And there's some of those things that, like, I like that you left it open for, like, okay, a good traveler, you could teach somebody to be a good traveler. I could teach somebody to have, like, functional luggage, get a TSA membership for 50 bucks, $75.

I could teach somebody, you could teach somebody. Sexually exploratory, very important. You know, it's interesting because I put that on the list. I think that he has not been with women like me before that really want to do a lot of stuff and really want to like talk dirty and use toys and all this stuff. Like, admittedly. I'm surprised that you didn't write. Size of hands.

Voice. You're right. I can't believe you don't talk to ask her about it. He didn't ask me. I wrote clearly I don't care what someone's voice sounds like. voice is huge to me. That's like top of my list. I have a list. I feel like beggars can't be choosers. Voice and hands, but I also feel like the 5-11 like should cover the hands, but you never really know. But yeah, I mean, that's kind of why I wrote and or exploratory. Like, I didn't need somebody who was going to come in and teach me everything, but I need someone that's open. Like, I almost that one like I thought about because I was like, I, he's like sexually experiences. He's plenty of people. But he didn't come in with all the things, you know, but we're doing it now. I mean, I think that's, I think that's.

It's nice to, like, you found somebody right up the middle. Like, I don't necessarily need, like, a dick measuring competition either. Yeah. About, like, who's crazier. Like, right. It's nice to just meet in the middle a little bit. I can teach you a couple. Let me teach you a couple things.

He's not some, like, kinky king who came in and he's, like, tied me up. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, buddy. But, I mean, we've really kind of been on a journey together, too, which I also like. Yes, I like it, too. Yeah. Okay. So, let's hear some of yours. My 40 things in the list.

I'm going to, I'm going to read you as the important ones. Of course, like, I did start with like 5-10 to 6-2 and looks like Dave Batista has good teeth, has tattoos. Like, you know, all the things that are important to me. We have a cap on the height, which is only something to short girl. I'm just not trying to be, I'm not trying to be greedy. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I'll take up to 6-5 and I will love it. It's so weird. I can't, I just can't imagine because, like, I've said this before. Like, I just took up with the guy that was 6-9 in college, which is a foot taller than me, and it was crazy to me. And my neck hurt, like, craning up to look at him. My ex-co was with last week, I was like, should I put on heels for dinner? and he was like, no.

Weirdo. It's like Shaq and his first wife. Okay. So the things that I did highlight, I did right close to their family, if they're not, they've gone to therapy to deal with whatever trauma. Their family has dealt them.

I do tend to attract people that have had a lot of trauma. It's just been a thing for me. So I'd like them to have dealt with it. Give me advice that challenges the way that I see things, but also makes me feel like they're on my side. And I feel like that was my favorite thing about my last boyfriend was like,

I felt like he really opened up my eyes to like the way other people might be feeling about things, but I didn't feel like he was like against me. So I thought that was really important. Cannot be threatened by me professionally or financially. Someone who can take care of their own side of the street. I don't want to explain to you how to do anything. I want you to be able to book a flight with a pet and be able to call the airline. You ask the questions of how to get a pet on an airline. I mean, it's, what did you write? Self-sufficient and independent? Self-sufficient adult. Listen, it can be age-based. I don't know that five years ago.

Totally. My current partner would have been for me. You know, I don't know what his life looks like then, like he's since figured out. He is younger than me by seven years, but he has figured it out. And again, he like takes care of his shit. I feel like he takes care of me. I mean, he's like a masculine guy. He like handles his shit and really, I'd like the way that he interacts with the world and can get shit done. It turns me on. And I think that most people would say, like, I don't want to babysit somebody. But some women are a little turned on by having to like run shit all the time for somebody and you don't mind babysitting another person. Like, I fucking mind it. And it will make me stop sleeping with you.

Yeah. So that is really important to me. I think that was the last thing I, like, really highlighted. And I wrote education, I don't care. Same. Doesn't matter to me. Not on my list. Actually, that's funny. Because, yeah, I think Oscar might ask me that. And I'm just like, that's not important to me. I want someone that, you know, has a good enough job that they enjoy and they make a decent living.

And that's where I draw the line. Yep. Instead of sense of humor, I wrote fucked up sharp sense of humor. Love that. I just want a really fucked up sense of humor. I don't want anybody to be like, well, t-jee. I don't, I don't need you to put me in my place and try to make me feel like I should be a better person.

Flexible work schedule. I think that that's really important so that we can travel around together. I mean, I put a lot of stuff on the list, but, you know, food's really important. I mean, travel is really important, people that are emotionally available. But those are some really important things to me. In terms of money, I put a number down that I'd be really comfortable with. I didn't start it. It's not a non-negotiable to me.

Pets didn't enter the list. Yeah. Cars. You don't need it. Yeah. I don't care if you have a car at all. Oh, and the last thing I did. put on here, which I think is really a lot about our relationship, too, is follow through.

I can trust that, I can trust beyond a doubt that they will take care of things that they say that they will take care of. So I just, I can't be checking in with you all the time. Like, if you just say, like, I got this, I want to know that you got this. You and I are like that. Like, our business relationship is based on that. So if somebody says, I'm going to show up for you in some way. I'm going to call you.

I'm going to take care of. Just you got to do it. Because I will railroad you if I start to feel like you're a baby and you can't take care of stuff. Yeah, and you're babysitting. Yeah. I mean, my advice, like I said, is make it, visualize it, and then put it out into the universe and then put it away. But I don't see the harm and pulling it back up to remind yourself if you feel like someone isn't good for you. And I also think we've talked about this before.

Maybe someone doesn't have something or some things on the list, but they have something else that you never even fucking thought of that is going to trump that other thing. You know, like, keep that in mind too. You're like, he doesn't have this, this and this and this. But like, oh my God, I never even consider this stuff. you have no business even thinking about. So just keep that in mind, too. I just think it's a healthy exercise for when you are trying to find somebody. Yeah.

I think it's nice. I put pages of notes and shit in here. Mm-hmm. Okay, well, I love your list. I love your list. I mean, I just think that our audience, like, again, you guys just really warm our hearts with how much you share and your great advice. Like, you're just so intelligent and thoughtful.

Some of you, except for that one, bitch. And, you know, kind. She thought about it. Right. Sorry, she's thoughtful. She's just not kind. Maybe she's making a joke. We'll give her the benefit of the doubt. But I'd like some of the things people said. Like, we asked people like if you're a listmaker, what has been your experience? If one said if you get too jazzy with it, it becomes less referensible and more of a bill to man, which it's great. That's kind of a cautionary tale. Also, you can have a list of 55 things on it, jazzy and pick your top five. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, put them in the two buckets.

Someone said it's like, writing a gratitude journal, putting it on paper reiterates your needs and wants. I also like this. Someone said it's like lists show patterns. Patterns reveal a deeper truth. I always gain from the list process. What does you mean? It shows patterns. List show patterns. In yourself or in somebody else? You know, I just said it and I just thought it sounded good and I didn't really digest it. Take it for what you want. Why do you ask me to expand on? I don't understand it. Someone said a list helped me find my partner and then the list helped me decide if they were here for a long time or a good time. I really like that. I don't understand. I really like that. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't. I don't understand. I don't. I don't that too. Well, that's why I differentiated between like when I made my list, do I want a launch a partner or somebody who's fun on a date? There's some people who are just professional daters. They're just fucking fun. Okay. Do you want to read a few things from our listeners? We asked what are important things on your list. My eyes immediately went to cowboy.

Cowboy, good heart, tall, good family. That's the theme of the day. Save a horse ride a cowboy. Where's your neighbor? Smart, funny, doesn't do coke. Listen, I'm here for it. You know what I also think, like, what I do when you were making your list. And, you know, you're also being funny with me because I know all your stories. But, like, a lot of it stems from what you don't want from a previous partner. I told you. That's how I based a lot of the list. You just said that, like, I was just like, this is the stuff that, like,

I will never get past. And I put a lot of stuff on here that was good about that same person or, you know, people similar to him. Yeah. A lot of people wrote about communication and emotionally available. And I think that that's really important. And I think what I did, which, yes, the list was so specific. but also some of the stuff was really broad,

and I just wrote the word communicative. And so that can kind of be open to interpretation, and a lot of people's demeanors and personalities can fit into that box. So it's your brand of a communicative. I think that, like, there are some people that are communicative, but everything is on their terms. Yeah. They'll see their side of things.

I liked a lot of these. A lot of these just felt really just grown up and mature, someone that can manage their money, funny, but not in a demeaning way, doesn't have a temper, driven, smart, kind, ambitious, Hot loves me, shared values, beliefs, no road rage. I like that this girl wrote adores me. And I put that on my list too,

somebody that she thinks I'm the best thing ever. Because I think that that's what your relationship's like. I think you're with somebody that thinks that you are the best thing ever. And that's top of the list. Yeah. And I was talking to some guy recently and you put it in a words. I was like I was having a hard time like articulating it. Like whatever I said, he had like a bigger, better, crazier story.

And whatever I said about like where we performed or what we did for a living, he made more money. He did it better. and you said he was like in a dick measuring competition with me and it was exhausting to me. And I was like, this guy's never going to be impressed by me. And it's going to just be this like tit for tat. I was exhausted by it. Yes.

Like you are an impressive person. He was either not impressed by you at all or refusing to admit that he was. Neither of which we want. And even if you aren't an impressive person like professionally or whatever, like you should be with somebody that thinks that like what you do is the most amazing thing. And like I think about your brother and Stephanie and he's just like, Stephanie is the best mother caretaker at the best cook, he just thinks that is so special about her. He really has her on a pedestal for that. And like, you just want that in a partner. I want somebody to think I'm the best

thing ever. Whatever I am is the best thing ever. Yes, exactly that. He is just in awe of her as a mother and as a caretaker. And like a time when he was really sick earlier this year, the way she just like handled it, managed the household. Like he couldn't work for a couple days. You know, I think he is like completely in awe. And I am too of her ability. You know, feel like stuff's our mom. Like what I mean about them as examples. I look at what she values, which is being a caretaker and she's so fucking good at it. She's the kindest person. She's my first text after anything we do. She's just so, and he thinks that what she is is the best thing in the world. And I am what I am and I want somebody to think that what I am is the best thing in the world.

And I will change. I am bendable. I'm malleable. I will bend to like be a better partner. But on the core, like I want somebody to think it's the best thing in the world that you and I get up on stage and perform. And I don't want them to like you said, tolerate it. Yeah. Exactly. And I think that I have on my list, like, challenging or and or inspiring, which again, I left those, like, two things, like, separate. Like, my partner, like, he's not this person who is in our world. He's not out here giving me business advice, you know, but he really inspires me in other ways. You know, like, he's, like, as cliche as it sounds like, makes me want to be a better person. You know, I look up to the way that he, like, is with his, like, friends and family and things that he does. I just find him to be like the best person in the world, like his level of like his hobbies and interests and just like knowledge.

And I think before I thought I was going to be with some like Netflix CEO. You know, it's just like that dynamic of these people that both work in entertainment and someone comes in and they have this like finance background or something like that. And you think they're going to offer that. But I don't want that. I don't want a business coach as my man. You know, like when I really think about it,

I knew that about you. Yeah. I've always known that. I, I don't know. And we talked about this in the show before. There's certain sacrifices you make to be with somebody like that where their job is always going to be number one.

They're always going to have an answer for everything. They're the business coach. And there's a lot of sacrifices to be with somebody like that. I don't think that you want it. I don't want it. Yeah. I know. I wrote on my list,

I think that you feel the same. I wrote somebody who is living their life in a way that I can be inspired by it. And that's how I think you feel about your partner. The way that he is with his friends, his family, the way he approaches life and work. You're just, you're inspired by who he is as a person. Because level of patience and just he's so. I told him the other day, I was like, you were so unbothered. Not in a way that he doesn't care.

Like, you're just so easy. Like, I just want to be more like that. Like, I'm always like, is this okay? Are you upset? This thing I said this and that. He's like, no, I don't. What do you? No.

Okay, but you know what? It's important also on the other side of the coin is they're not trying to force that on you. Yeah. Like, he's easy, but he isn't like, well, I'm so easy. Why can't you be like that? Right. Like, he's like totally fine when I'm acting neurotic. He thinks it's cute.

Find somebody that thinks it's cute when you're being neurotic. Fuck. This is fine for some other people. That's fine. You want to be with somebody to make you a better person. But I was talking to this guy the other day. I told him something I thought was kind of funny. And he, like, kind of put me in my place.

I think he was trying to, he's being a little holier than now, and I don't like that. I was trying to make, like, a silly joke. And he was trying to make me feel like I was being like a bad person for this judgment call. And like, I don't want that. Like, I don't want somebody that's like, so chill. It's like, nothing bothers me. So nothing should bother you. It's like, you should let me fly.

Yeah. You should let me make fun of this, even if you don't want to make fun of it. Yeah, exactly. I'm trying to be a better person. I know. Let me be a shitty person. Okay. I'm really, I feel excited.

I love this. Maybe, maybe, listen, if you guys don't see any value in this, then don't do it. But I've got a little, a lot of value in it. And yeah, I'm only a couple days into this year. I just, I look at this as a fun exercise for myself. It's not so rigid. I don't have to adhere to every one of these things. It's just like, that's the goal.

That's the dream. And when I go out with people, I can say to myself, like Rob says, am I fishing with the right pole? You know, exactly. Fish with the right pole. Make the list. Put out in the world or don't. Live your truth. If you're not in high school.

All right. Well, thanks for listening, guys. And for listening for one episode or all 300 episodes, we're glad you're here. If you're new to Girls Got to Eat, welcome. If you're an OG, if you have listened to every single fucking one of these 300 episodes, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We love you.

We couldn't do this without you. And you can go to Girls Got to Eat. com find every episode all 300 plus that we have ever done and girls got to eat podcast that is our handle on instagram and on ticot i am ash hess raina is rayna dot greenberg and of course our other company vibes only count down to the cot ring vibes only dot com and vibes only on instagram subscribe on youtube definitely should watch this one on youtube with the neighbor content and the ozumic content and the ozul content and we'll see next week how we're we guys bye