Girls Gotta Eat - Single All the Way

Episode Date: November 21, 2018

Our early Christmas present to you: BONUS EPISODE! We're discussing being single over the holidays and giving advice for dealing with family pressure, the dreaded judgmental questioning, and general loneliness while everyone around you is coupled up and (seemingly) happy. We also share tips and tricks for hometown hookups, reveal our best/worst gifts from our exes, talk about soup for way too long (apologies in advance), and do a holiday-themed Is This Weird? Enjoy! Follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, and check our website for upcoming show dates and merchandise! More bonus content at: Patreon.com/GirlsGottaEat. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every commercial on television is like, Every kiss begins with Kay. And you're like, oh my God. Ashley's a really funny joke about it. Every kiss begins with kill yourself. I don't know. I'll single all the way. Oh, it's fun.

It is to ride in a one horse open say, hey, hey. I try to think of something funier. Like a pun. Are we not funny today? I don't know. I'm a little tired. I don't feel that creatively funny today. Don't say that.

People are just like tune out. I don't think anybody's tweeting out. Guys, holiday singles episode, we weren't going to leave you hanging. You didn't think that we were going to not do an entire episode on the hell that is walking into a family situation. And people would be like, so why aren't you married? Yeah. Like, you didn't think we were just going to address the couples. We don't care about.

We are not a couple. When we asked for questions about holidays and relationships and dating, we were kind of just thinking more along the lines of like, couples and then we're like, oh, right. Over the holidays, I think it is everybody's biggest nightmare. That question, the walking into the family Christmas party and all those people that like, are we still out here in 2018 asking people that? Like, that's what I don't really understand. Well, who, okay.

So are we just getting right into this? We're not doing any sort of intro. We could do some intros. You have anything that happened yesterday since I saw you? Well, I felt like Dewey and I were a little bit on the outs and I feel like we're back together. Even though he's over here with me. Licking on my shoes.

We are recording from my apartment again. He, I've never seen him do this two nights ago. He got out of his bed. He's like a bed in my room, like a really nice bed. And then he's like I'm still sleeping in my bed. He got out of his bed and went and slept on the couch. I've never felt so hurt. Yeah, I felt the other night at the hotel.

When you literally got out of three in the morning, you were like, it's not personal. And then left the room. I went to sleep in the secret bed out of the wall. They popped out of the wall. Yeah, now you know how it feels. But yeah, Dewey and I are back together. We're like ready for the holidays as a couple. Do I have to get you guys like a present?

Yeah. Like, sack of weddings. Treats for you or at Moose Munch? Nothing happened to me since yesterday. Do you has a holiday collar also. It has bells on it. It's fine. We'll put it on the Instagram.

I know. The whole face. Holiday Angel. Okay. I just had some chili. I had some chili. Which Ashley was really excited about because apparently she's on a quest to find the best chili in New York.

Okay. So let me know. I love chili. It's not always easy to make a good chili. It's very easy to make it. It's not for you and me to make it, but for restaurants, I guess. In like large quantities. It's literally the easiest thing you can make in the world. No, I know it's, I think it's, what I mean is, yeah, the chili, like the actual chili is easy to make, but to get that flavor combo and all the spices right, I have some bland chili. Yeah, but like if you are not a piece of shit restaurant owner and you like taste it and you're like, oh, this needs some acid, some fat, some salt, some heat. I think people phone it in. Yeah, lots of people phone it in.

Whole Foods did a nice job. Whole Foods, do you just brought out of this whole food's chili? It was so delicious. No shock there. I love Whole Foods. I go to eat like two, three times a week. Yeah, I love it. I'll pick that over like most restaurant experiences.

Right. Well, now I'm going for the chili. But also, guys, seriously, let me know. I guess you have to DM me. Rainy gets mad if you guys DM us if it's not for both of us. I want to know where the best chili in New York is. It's going to queue up hundreds of DMs. I was about chili.

Are you a turkey chili or a beef chili? Do you like bean? And beef chili and vegetarian chili. I'm really like an equal opportunity employer. I just want the right flavor. Do you like beans in your chili? Yeah. Oh, I don't like beans.

You don't. No, I hate them. Well, hate them everyone. So you just, it's just ground meat? Yeah, with like a nice sauce. Oh, I love the beans. Actually, you know it was a really great chili is Hale and Hardy. What?

Hale and Hardy. Okay. Oh, because you never had a job. Do you know howlant Hardy is? Your face. Okay. Hale and Hardy is my favorite restaurant. Top five.

It's a soup restaurant. Oh, okay. But it's for business people. Have we ever talked about how much I like soup? No. Okay, we're going to talk about it now. We were going to be friends for one winner, so maybe it didn't come up. Soup is my favorite thing to eat.

I would eat it every single day. I make soup. I just love soup. It's so good. Hale and Hardy is like the soup lovers paradise. They do like 30 soups a day. They're all super good. And they're all like, what is the word I'm looking for?

They're like categorized. There's vegan. There's vegetarian. There's dairy-free. And there's ones who are really low in fat. So my favorite one there is the lentil chili. You love a lentil. I love a lentil.

It's the highest fiber that you can get. Right. Well, you love fiber. I love pooping. Okay. Nobody enjoys pooping more than me either. Soup and pooping. It's my new blog.

Sooping. Okay. Let me just shout out. Atlanta. I love to shout Atlanta. There's a place called soup. What made you think about Atlanta? Super Jenny.

It's the famous soup place. Favorite place in Atlanta. There's a few locations. There's like four or five, the best soup. They'll usually, you get like a kind of a plate of like your soup, your half sandwich, your cookie, your drink. I mean, that was my favorite place to go in Atlanta. I mean, she's the, her name's Jenny.

It's really cute. Oh, I thought I was Sarah. Okay. But she's gotten like a ton of national press. It's the best soups. What do you get there? I mean, they have a, they have always had the chili. Uh-huh.

And then rotating in other soups. Soup is great. It's hot in Atlanta all the time. People are into soup? I know. I will tell you, if it gets cold, you rush your ass to soup or Jenny, because it's soup weather. I don't eat soup in the summer. I'm not a fucking animal. Also, you know what I realized about me? You know why I love winter. Are you ready for this? No. What? What is air conditioning? It's air conditioning. It's dark. You really enjoy it. Has anybody still listening to this episode? I feel like we, like, filibustered the episode.

We're just talking about nothing until people tune out. They're like, okay. Well, I'm not listening to bonus episodes anymore. Back to being single and lonely around the holidays. When it gets dark at 4.30. Oh my gosh. And you have no one to cuddle with. Well, I do. That's why you buy a dog. Get some soup. Adopt a dog. Get a fur blanket. Right. You love a fur blanket. Oh, love it. Ikea has a great fur blanket. It's faux fur. He can't have like a real fur. Can you imagine you like a real fur blanket? No. I have a blanket under here. A friend got it for me when I moved here. It's a houseworming gift. It's West Elm. It's dry clean only. Like in what world are people out here dry cleaning blankets? I don't know what to do with it. I hope someday to be

so rich, I only dry clean my blankets. I'm sorry, Bridget, but like I have not used the blanket because I have to take it to the fucking dry cleaner. You know they're going to be like, that's $80. Right. How could I even like get a blanket to a dry cleaner? Like, do you know money and time that would be? How do you get you walk in without a bag? Like what are the, what are the semantics of like getting a blanket to? I'm so rich that someone comes and picks up my blanket takes it to the dry cleaners. Like do you put it in a lot of, you put it in a a bag or do you just carry a giant blanket down the street? Maybe you're like Lenny Kravitz, that meme where he's like wearing that giant blanket

or has a scarf. Every winner comes back. Okay, but is it Photoshopped or not? No, he really wore that. Okay. It's just weird. It's a weird guy. He's an Orthodox Jew.

What? Lenny Kravitz. Orthodox Jew. Okay. This episode is crazy already. We don't have, we don't do any ads. It's just off the rails already. My feet are cold.

Do you want to wear slippers? No, maybe. I don't know. Slippers are money. I love that. That's an option for today. Right. Okay, a few things right to plug.

Patreon's up. Patreon's up. Guys, it is so cool and so fun. It's a membership service where you guys can subscribe and you'll get bonus episodes from us every single month. It is really easy to use. It's fun to use. If you haven't listened yet, which, what are you doing with your life?

but if you haven't listened to it, we have one episode of if you haven't listened to it, just take what we've done in the last nine minutes and 15 seconds, and that's an hour of that. But it's better. It's better than stupid poop. I promise. Stupid poop. Raina Greenberg.

Raina, Super poop of Greenberg. It's my new blog idea. But the Patreon's really easy. It's patreon.com slash girls got to eat. You guys can sign up. You'll get extra content from us every single month. Be one of the cool kids. And it's really like no editing behind.

the scenes. We're doing them from my apartment and we're answering more listener emails and questions and we're going to have surprise guests drop in. It's just a really fun time. Yeah. Okay. Holiday merch is live. The sweatshirts are so cute. Mugs, beanies. Beanie's. Beanie Gate 2018. And then this coming Monday, we're going to announce a bunch of shows. But you already probably heard that on the earlier episode this week. Oh, I'm so excited about this. Yeah. Holiday season. I just love holiday season in general. I'm, yeah, is it your, I mean, well, I don't know. Christmas is my favorite season.

I know it's so cliche, or my favorite holiday. I know that sounds so cliche, but you love it too. I love Christmas. All my life, all I ever wanted to do is sit on Santa's lap at the mall. I still want to do it. You do? You weren't like one of the kids that screamed, like crap and screamed. My mom wouldn't let me.

Every single time we're at the mall, she'd be screaming in my face. Right now we're Jewish. And you were like, I got to sit on Santa's lap? Yeah, but you like never did. No, I've never been allowed to do. I've never had that. That's why you sit on everybody's lap now. Do I sit on people's laughs?

Yeah. Who's laptop I sit on? I don't know. The last person I remember was like Andrew in Chicago. Okay, but I was trying to just like be closer to everybody in the photo. But I think you might have a little bit of a complex from not getting able to sit on Santa's laps. Is that why I'm just always sitting on people's laps? Maybe you're right.

But anyways, we did a whole episode about dating over the holidays and when to take your boyfriend home with your family and what to buy your boyfriend. Or your girlfriend or whatever. What to buy for me and Ashley? We didn't cover that. Just Venmos. I would like money. I don't want anything. besides money ever. Right. At my wedding, too. I don't want any fucking choshkis, trinkets.

I don't need a serving platter, socks. I'd have an X-a-ine one time by me, like an iPhone charging case, like a mofi, you know, like one of those expensive cases for my like six plus. I'm like, I'm about to get the seven. What a waste. That's so inconsiderate. Like he knew I was about to upgrade. He didn't even like know about your technological plans. I traded it in for a gift card. You also traded him in for another boyfriend. And I saw the receipt. This is a funny story. I saw the receipt when he bought it, right? Because I was like, I can't use this.

I need the receipt. I'm going to go to Apple and get, you know, trade it in. December 24th. What an asshole. He's a real planner that one. He's like, what's the most thoughtless gift I can give her somebody? Oh, I'll go buy December 24th, a piece of technology that will be obsolete to her in a week. So you guys broke up.

You broke up over Christmas. We were together one Christmas and one in Christmas we broke up. get to that. We didn't talk about worst holiday gifts you've been given from an axe. He like hit me with a bunch of gifts that Christmas, like that were bought the day before, you know?

One is this fucking foam roller behind the couch. I use it sometimes. Wow. Really, really meaningful gifts from this guy. I like made him a mug with Dewey's face on it. I mean, I went all out, custom gifts. You just made him something that you could take back after you guys broke up.

The Dewey mug. No, it was a picture them together. Okay, be honest. Did you take it back? No, no, no. I'm sure he's still drinking out of it with his new girlfriend. She's like, whose dog is that? He's like, don't worry about it.

He like, makes the story. He's like, he's passed. How fucked up with that be? His name was Jason and he's no longer with us. What is he funny to name an animal at? Just like a regular person's name. Yeah, like heaven. I mean, I have it.

I love it. Like, I feel like that's been a thing for a lot. of yours, especially Kevin specifically. Really? Scott. I feel like Scott would be a really fun. Scott is good or like Angela. Jennifer.

But like I love that there was a meme that's like resurfaced. It's like I was somewhere and I heard someone yell, Kevin get the fuck over here. And they was like a pug. Started waddling over. Oh, I saw that the other day. If I had like a fish, I name it Chad.

Oh my God. And Trevor. Chad and Chad. No, Chad and Brad. Oh, that makes more sense. Or Jerry and Ben. I like that you didn't. I said Ben and Jerry.

That's why it's funny. Oh, that's the joke. Get it? Here we go. Raina's the stand-up comedian, documentarian. Okay, have you gotten a terrible gift? I got the worst gift.

Like, I'm not a materialistic person. I like to go shopping. I like to have things, but like I buy those things for myself. I enjoy having those. Do you think I'm, I don't know how you like to find it. Like, I like having things.

But you're like, I think of materialistic too as people are like super into like designer. Like, you're like, no, I get a Forever 21 and, you know, like, I don't know. So am I too poor to be materialistic? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm just kidding. I don't think if you was materialistic.

When I think materialistic, I think, like, people have to have, like, designer bags and, like, all that kind of stuff. Or, like, somebody that wants things in lieu of, like, an actual meaningful. But you buy, you buy so much stuff, it's crazy that you live in New York City and you, like, where does it all go? Like, do you give a lot of stuff away? Yeah, I give a lot of stuff to go. Every season, I give, like, 10 bags to Goodwill. I want to do more of the, like, system where you. you buy something, you take something out of your closet.

My sister-in-law does rent the runway every month. Yeah, she doesn't even buy clothing. What are we talking about? What gifts have you got? Oh, anyways, I'm, so the point is, I'm not a super materialistic thing. Like, when somebody buys me a gift, I'd rather just be like a meaningful thing, really. Yeah, for sure. But he got me this gift, my ex, and I think that he thought that it would be meaningful,

and I was like, so angry. So this thing comes, and it's like this day, the day after the whole thing, holiday and it like comes in some like dirty shitty shitty package it was clearly bought on ebay because it was like duct taped bubble wrapped yeah um and you didn't even have time to like make like to wrap it which okay fine um so i open it this disgusting bubble wrapped old dirty piece of shit and i open up the the box and it's a locket and it's like a really old antique silver locker it's big it's like the size of my fist like a big one okay and it has like a huge silver chain and like it's like a necklace and he didn't even like take the time to like

replace the chain to something anybody would wear or put the pictures in the locket or wrap it and it was just this rusty old locket I just like I was looking at it first and I was like well this is kind of weird and then it started like really hit me like this is like what you think of me like we've been together for years and I bought you all these really thoughtful things and like this is what you get me what do you think he did he went to eBay and was like Google antique locket and just bought the first fucking thing. Probably. Like he thought he was being cute or sentimental or sweet. But like

I would have at least opened it and see what it looks like. But there's no picture. Are you guys in it? No, there's nothing in it. That's the dumbest thing I've ever fucking heard of. It's like giving somebody like I don't know, a car without a transmission. Like the whole point of the locket is the picture. Yes. And it was really like hurt. Yeah. I was crying.

Like it started to like wash over me like just how little thought he put into this because what I had gotten him. And I don't think it's fair to compare what you got to something they got. Yeah. But I had made him an album of our life together. And it was the last two years of like all the photos, inside jokes, like letters. I wrote, like, I had this published, like, on Snapfish.

Yeah. And like, I wrote a whole thing about like our life together and how much I love him. And like, he gave me a fucking dirty old locket for me. I was so upset. I was crying. That's all. Yeah. I want of the, you know, one of the best gifts I got.

This is my high school boyfriend. I think we stayed together. We got together like the next Christmas when I got him from college. and then that was it. A pair of Timberlins. Were you into that? I mean, yeah, I used to wear like baby fat and juicy and... Doug life.

I mean, I went to Clemson rocking a pair of Timberlins. People didn't know the fuck to do with me. Does everybody else in Lillipholzor? Right. People were in like fucking monogram Lillipholzor and I'm like, here's me and my Tims and my baby fat sweatshirt. But you were like so tall, were they going to say to you?

I was going to beat me up. But yeah, that was a really cute gift. I just loved that. Like, there was a girlfriend of mine. in Georgia. Her name's Catherine. Her boyfriend, Dedrick, love them. Might as well shout him out. I saw her one time at a county festival. I was like, damn, the girl, you were in some like Jordans.

She's like, yeah, where do, I didn't buy these. Like, that's a cute thing. It's cute. Your boyfriend buys this as like Jordans. I mean, if you're going to wear them. Yes, and it's something you wouldn't buy for yourself. Yes, that's totally true. You just like splurge on something you probably wouldn't get yourself.

I like. Okay. Okay. What are we doing? I don't know. Whatever. What are you guys going to do? We were like, what are we going to do from the?

intro. I don't know. I guess we're talking about soup and Jordan's. Pooping. I was like, terrible gifts. What has happened to me in the last 20, like nothing? I'm getting benched by somebody currently. But other than that, shout to our second episode. Are you getting benched? Oh, 100%. Didn't even need to listen to it. Just know it. Right. You can feel it in your bones. Yeah, I can feel it in your response to all of my Instagram stories with one word answers. Like, I had like a thing of nachos on my story the other night. He just wrote like, nice. Ha, ha, nice. I'd rather

be dead and continue this conversation when you write Ha Ha Ha Nice. Right. Like, I didn't even make you start this conversation today. He responded to another food thing on my Instagram for a while. Are you responding? I'm throwing an emoji back. I think you should leave them. Like, I love when I don't love it, it's so embarrassing.

But when a guy, yeah, when a guy, girls don't do this shit, when a guy like DMs you so many times, he's having a conversation with himself is my favorite thing. This guy used to DM me and respond to every one of my stories. And when you would look back after the stories are expired, he's having a fucking conversation with himself. Like, you're crazy person. Well, you got to say something that incites a little bit of a conversation. Today he DMed me.

Well, you're kind of interested in him. Yeah, kind of. But today he DMed me, wow. Just wow. About, oh, were you trying to be thirsty? No. Just another food photo. Wow.

I think he's trying to engage. I don't know what to say to him. It's not super verbal of a guy. No. Okay. Should we get into the topic or no? I don't know. This is kind of fun.

But we should get to it. We should get to it. I might have walked past his work last. night like four times. Whatever you're doing. She's desperate to talk about this guy. I never hear anything about until a mic comes out. I think he's canceled and then the mics turn on and she's like, so back to this guy. Okay, guys.

Single around the holidays. Single all the way. Clearly I'm going to be single. Ready to mingle for the holidays. Okay. In all seriousness, I think it is everybody's worst nightmare that like Bridget Jones's diary. Like you'd ever see that?

that movie. Right. Good call. Good call. And it's just like, what she goes in and everybody's just like, so why aren't you married?

Yeah. And I think that is everybody's worst nightmare. And like on top of that, you're also inundated with every commercial on television is like, Every kiss begins with Kay. And you're like, oh my God. Ashley is a really funny joke about it. Every kiss begins with kill yourself.

There's more than that. I can't say it on the podcast. It's funny. But anyways, I feel like you're just inundated with like couples and love. Everybody's getting engaged. Yeah. Yes, it means so many engagements and so many just like couple of activities.

Everyone's fucking ice skating and doing going and looking at lights and it's just like couple overload. Right. Every single like holiday party for your office. Yeah. I go home for the holidays. My brother's married. My parents are both married.

Well, we and you know, I just want to say this. Like, and I feel like I have some friends that have the same situation. You and I are very lucky that we don't have, we have zero pressure on us. Like my parents are so happy and proud of me. I've never even once given me an inkling of like we wish you had somebody. You know, like, they're just cool like that. They don't care. Like, I think they want grandkids, but we know my brother's going to have them and they just

love what I'm doing. And nobody else in the family, I don't have any family members like that. Again, my family's just like super cool, liberal progressive, you know, like my cousin, my closest cousin, she moved Amsterdam and like had kids at like 40. You know, like it's just kind of everybody's a little bit unconventional. And we have my other cousin. Yeah, and he's married with three kids. And he did kind of that thing.

And I think that, but I've just never even felt it at all. And I feel really lucky. And I feel so badly for people that dread going home because of that. Because I've never felt that. And you haven't. No, but I mean, I think that you and I both have, like, a lot going on that we're really proud of. And I think of, like, the advice that, like, and we'll talk about this, my advice is lead with that, you know. If you have all these things going on outside of that and people, all these things to talk to you about, like, I sort of worried at my brother's wedding because he's four years younger than me.

I worry. Honestly, I feel for you there. That's a little bit of my nightmare. But it didn't turn out to be bad. I worried at the wedding that people would start to be like, so when are you going to get married? And honestly, everybody was just so excited to see me because I'm so famous and successful.

I'm just kidding. I mean, kind of. People know that I'm excited about what I do for a living and then I'm proud of my life. I live in New York. I've lived in New York for 10 years. That is not an easy feat to afford to live here and be successful. And so I think if you lead with that,

then people don't look at you and feel. feel pity for you and ask, like, when are you going to find this other thing? Right. Because it comes from, I thought about this a lot. Like, it comes from a good place. People think that love is so important. It is. And they want you to be happy and they equate a relationship with you being happy.

Well, I agree partially. I think it can be that. I think it can be genuine, like, I want you to find love. But I think a lot of times people who really harp on you and really do this, like, condescending, like, poor you are just trying to validate their own life choices. And like, if someone's really like, I can't believe you've chosen to not be married and have kids at your age or whatever it is, it's like, you're. just trying to make yourself feel bad about your choices. And I think that sometimes people that have

chosen a single life or they've chosen not to have kids or they're in their like 20s or 30s or whatever it is. And it's typically in their family structure that people are married and have kids by this point. Like they're threatening to someone that has chosen that path. And like someone's out here living like a simple life married with kids and they see you single living in a city, whatever. And they're like threatened and they're like, wait a minute. You don't have the same view of like life view as I do. and I just, I just think sometimes people like come down on you and make you try to make you feel bad to validate themselves. And not everybody. Like, not your family, you know.

I think it's an age thing. When you said those two things, I see different ages of people saying that too. Like my grandma, my aunts, the people that are like in their 70s, those people I think of genuine intent. Yes, true. And again, when I say this, I even mean a little bit probably more like co-worker along those lines. Maybe like people your own in your own age group. But also could be your cousins or it could be that type of thing. And I think, well, we were joking about this, that like, it's clap.

It's the funniest thing you've ever said. It's clapback season. Like you have an insult locked and loaded for anyone that tries to pressure you. Like, okay, Aunt Brenda, you've been twice divorced. I don't, what, I don't want your life. Right. Oh, I'm single. Well, at least my husband's not cheating on me like yours is. Like cousin Jessup, you have four kids, you're 27. Like, I don't want your life. I don't want your life. Had to spend like your entire life savings on your kids' presence this holiday season. And I'm like out here in the Bahamas, like on a luxury vacation. I love those memes about like you're the cool aunt that shows up and drops a bunch of gifts and jets back off to wherever.

But I mean, let's be real. You and I have a lot to be proud of. And we live in New York City and we are really successful again. We're in our 30s. It took a long time for us to get to this point. So it's very easy for us to be like, yeah, but look at all this other amazing shit I've going on. But, you know, for someone that doesn't really feel like that, I still think the key and the trick is just like to own it. And like make sure people know that you're happy. Yeah, I'm single. I mean, whatever the languages you have to say, like don't let people make. you feel bad about about yourself. Like it's so easy to be like, yeah, I'm super happy. I've just been focusing on myself. I've been focusing on my career. I have a ton of great friends.

You know, I just moved to this new apartment. Whatever you have going on that's not a relationship or not a child, say that those things to people. Like people can pick up on like you not being happy with your life. So I think it's like owning it. And I think it's like, yeah, you know, I like to say, I haven't found the right person and I'm not willing to settle. What is someone going to say to that? That's true. You know, I think, and also that just, that doesn't open the door for like more conversation. Well, are you dating? Or are you seeing it?

It's like, oh, hey, you'll start with that with me. It's like, yes, I'm fucking. Right. I'm out here. I'm fucking. Just like you. Everybody's fucking. And I just think that like if you are really nervous, then like, if you need some real

ammo, make a list of a couple things you have going on. Yes, exactly. I'm walking with that. And like, yeah, I just tried out this hobby. I'm starting this X thing. I got a promotion. Change the conversation. Yeah.

Like, no. Yes, I'm getting fucked. Thank you for your concern. Yeah. But I have all these other things going. I just redecorated my apartment. And, like, I don't know. I can't believe seriously people out here in, like, 2018 are still saying that stuff to you.

But, but like, I have some friends. Well, I wouldn't call them friends. I have acquaintance. I've demoted her to acquaintance that I grew up with who just, like, can't ever seem to be happy for me. And she's somebody who I grew up with, and she lives at home. And, you know, she lives in the suburbs. And she has, like, the husband and the kid and the dog. And she doesn't work.

And she has all the things she ever wanted in her life. We don't really have anything in common. Right. But she can't ever be happy for me and she ever can't ever be impressed. And so I feel like she brings it up constantly when I see her like, are you dating anybody? It's like, no, but I have other things going on.

Right. And sometimes if someone, all they've really ever done in life is get married and have kids, I'm not shitting on that. But if that's really what they've done and that's their life goal, they don't really know what else to ask you because that's all they really have.

So that's not, it might not even be in a bad way. It's literally just like, so are you dating? I mean, sometimes you're just making small talk. You know what I mean? Like sometimes it's like, how's work, how's, you know, people every time, how's New York? I mean, and I think all you have to do is, unless it's somebody you feel like is really being condescending and then just like fucking shut it down, clapback season.

But like, just shift the conversation. I think it's so easy if someone's like, so are you dating? You can be like, no, but you know what? I really just, I took up this cooking class or what I've done is this. And all you shift the conversation. Like, it's people lacking conversation skills and topics to talk about. All you have to do is like turn it around, talk about what you do have going on and what you are proud of and most people would back down. Yeah, and I think that I think that's a good point.

Like, I don't think that it's always so mean and it doesn't, mostly it's not meant to be hurtful ever. Right. I think you, like people read it being hurtful, but it's not. Yeah. So I don't know, maybe just walk in with a list of things that you have gone on if you think that's what's going to happen. Yeah. And I think, I mean, apart from kind of how to handle it is just I think people just feel lonely. I mean, if you're really like the only single person and surrounded by couples and kids. I mean, you just got to remind yourself that they're all dealing with their own shit too. Well, I think this is the perfect season out of any season at all to pick a hobby and really

pour yourself into it. Because, yes, people feel lonely. And yes, it's just the case that people are coupled up over the holidays and they're not going to be around for you as much. And so this is the best time to, I don't know, take a photography, take a cooking class, pick a place in the world you've never been to and buy a flight and just go there. Right. And I think this is just the perfect time to, like, I know that it's so cliche, but like get a gym

membership, sign it for class pass, something that you like. Anything to, like, fill your time. Don't sit at home and be depressed. I think this is a good time. What I feel like with my single girlfriends, I mean, New York around this time is my favorite time of year. I mean, December, New York, I don't even want to, like, not be here for one day. It's just the best place to be. So book a trip here. Maybe you're coming to our shows. But I just am big on- the answer to everything. Go to New York. I'm just big on setting up plans with girlfriends, single or not single, but I'm big on like making advanced plans because people are so busy. So, there's so many things I want to do in New York around the holidays.

So I'm like, hey, Marilyn and Sydney, we've done this. Like, we did it last year. Let's go to the Bryant Park holiday market, go ice skating, and then we're going to go to Rolfs or whatever it is. Like, we have plans that you can look forward to and do all the cutesy holiday stuff with your girlfriends. Yeah, and there's a reason to die to, like, go ice skating and sip cocoa and go see lights.

Do with your friends. I agree. Yeah, for sure. It's never that great with a guy anyway. You always hype it up. Last time I went to see lights with somebody, we got in a fucking fight. You know, like, it's just like less drama. People fight around the holidays.

They break up. I'll tell my breakup story any minute. It's fine. Like, whatever, embrace it. People aren't as happy as they appear to be. Everybody's out here posting and we won't have to say this. It's a whole other topic. But you know what I mean?

Just don't get down on yourself. These people are probably taking their cute pictures, ice skating and seeing Christmas lights and going home and having a fucking fight. Well, not everybody. But, I mean, yes, obviously everybody's highlight real is Instagram. And nobody's posted folks. of themselves not being happy. Like my mom and I took the cutest photo in front of the tree of Rock Center last year.

We, a couple years ago, we fought the whole way there. You guys got a physical fight afterwards and punched her in the face. She punched her mom in the face. Sorry. It was like a blizzard. She insisted on going to see the tree. I was like, you could just Google it, see yourself. I had to walk there in an umbrella.

Do you know what it's like to get near Rock Center with an umbrella and a billion other people? We fought the whole way. And then we took this like super cute picture in front. fought the whole way back. So like, you know, that's obviously what's happening with a lot of people. Yeah. And I just think that like there's this misconception also that everybody's so busy over the holidays. People are there.

Between Christmas and New Year's people got to town. There's seven days you'd entertain yourself. Right. Exactly. The rest of the time it's fine. You know what I like to do by myself? I go to movies by myself sometimes. What do you talk?

Yeah, of course. I go to movies by myself the time. I sit there and cry the whole time. The cut, the New York Times blog, just did this, I think it was last week or the week before an article about like movies are best in, by yourself because you are not thinking about how the other person is viewing it and trying to watch it through their eyes too. So you're like just seeing it through. It's like the ticket says admit one for a reason. It was like movies are best enjoyed by them by yourself. I like that.

Well, there's what reason do you have to sit next to somebody in a dark room in silence? Yeah. I mean, if someone starts to try to talk to me during a movie, shut the fuck up. Right. Just let me cry in peace. Like let me house this extra large popcorn and I quote by myself in peace. Yes. I love movies in the wintertime. But I think, and you know, again, it's like a little kind of far out, but it's always, I was just at lunch with a girlfriend. Like, she's taking a trip with her girlfriend. I mean, it's not the cheapest time to travel. But yeah, right after Christmas over New Year's is a good time to take a break. There's not much, nobody has anything going on with work. So I think it's a nice time to just get away. Yeah. A girl's trip or with your best girlfriend or whatever,

best guy friend. Or go by yourself. Like whatever. Just like go enjoy your life. Yeah, just go and play in the beach for a couple days. I've just, I can happily say that I have never let a relationship stop not being in a relationship, stop me from doing something. Oh, for sure. And, you know, I've done a lot of, I've traveled the whole world. We don't really talk about this a lot in this show,

but I'm somebody who has spent most of my money on travel, and I've been everywhere in Europe, I've been all over Asia and South America. I've been to every major city in the United States. I've traveled a lot. And I've never let being in a relationship or not being in a relationship, stop me from that. And so, like, I want to South East Asia by myself for three weeks.

You just can't, like, not do these things because you're waiting to do them with a boyfriend. Absolutely. Like go, and I had a boyfriend at the time, actually, when I went to Southeast Asia, he just couldn't come. And I wasn't going to wait. Yeah. And so I think, like, this is the best time to, like, go take a trip by yourself. Absolutely.

Yeah. And I love what you said, like, take up something new. And, I mean, while we were mentioning the timing, like, we got a question about advice for being single on New Year's. And it's like, come on. Like, New Year's is just the most overrated of all. And I love New Year's. I've had great times on New Year's because I have no expectations. I just, it's a good night to go out with my friends and dress up and be cute.

I feel like people put so. much pressure on it. It does not fucking matter. I hate it so much. If I wasn't like obligated, internally to post a photo on Instagram of how much fun I was having on you, I'd stay home every single year on New Year's.

I would happily stay home by myself. Last year it was like below five in New York. Oh my God. So cold. And I went to a girlfriend's house to have drinks and we went to a party. Being outside twice that night was a nightmare. Our Uber driver was like, I'm going to pick you up in the corner.

We're like, no, you're fucking not. No. We're naked. Basically. Like, I were this tiniest little revolved dress. I know, I saw it. And that furjack is pretty. Yeah, faux fur.

But we, I mean, that tonight, that night we went to, it was a group of four of us. We did a little pregame and then went to Soho House. It was just like any other night. You know what I mean? If not a little bit more of a cluster because of the people and there's a fucking coat check meltdown. But like it was just, I had a great New Year's because I just went out like it was a fun night in prettier dresses.

And I think that's like, that's again, what we talked about was taking the pressure out of it. It's like that's where you get fucked up where you have all these crazy expectations. Yeah. And like that was a fun party. A couple people kissed around us at midnight. No one was like making out.

Like people worry about not having a New Year's kiss. It's like, who cares? Also, just grab whoever. Also, nobody's like looking around. New Year's definitely at like a party in Atlanta. Like, just grab whoever. Oh, like the hottest person that's ever lived. Oh, poor you.

I'm sure Triple kiss like 10 people that night. He definitely did. But I was one of them. He probably had sex with like seven people that night too. God, he's so beautiful. That's crazy. You're like, I just grab Tribble. Like you just grab Tribble.

like a mud duck or something. He's like six feet tall. He's jacked. He looks like at Adonis. Oh, I just grab the hottest person that ever existed. We used to go to this or such fun New Year's party in Atlanta every year. And it was just, it was just like a fun people. But like I, like, or a fun crowd. I just remember like all the time at midnight. It would just be like, just grab whoever. Do you like, um, a party on New Year's Eve? Like at a house party or do you prefer to go to a bar? I just don't care. Like, I just want to be with my friends. So I think a house party's fun too. I mean, you also, I just don't want to be part, I mean, whatever, at this age, I don't want to be part of any sort of, like, amateur night. You know, I don't need to go to some

fancy, weird ticketed thing. Like, we went to Soho House because it's, you know, Soho House, feels more exclusive and stuff like that. And I will tell you, I still to this day, I think my favorite New Year's I've ever had was the year before, this right before I moved to New York City. My friend Laura has this beautiful home. You've been to it. I can't believe somebody that we know lives in the house that looks like that. My friend Laura in Delaware has this, insane home and she did a dinner party. She is like, she's the best host I've ever seen as far as like all the details and, um, her boyfriend and he cooked this insane dinner and they had a DJ come in and like the champagne was flowing and it was a house party for maybe dinner party and then like

party for, I don't know, 20 to 30 people, best nearest I've ever had. That sounds incredible. I mean, oh my God. Like, and then she, it was so cute. Every placement had like a year horoscope for the the following year. But we all dressed up. We stayed in her house afterwards. So then it's like the party's over just went upstairs and crashed. But yes, this is my dream. I'm glad you asked me that. But that's my ideal dream is like dinner party, fun party. Stay inside. Don't to deal with like so many like drunk people and ubers. Oh my God. And like everybody just like, I mean, obviously like she can afford to have like a nice party. But like everybody throws 30 bucks and like you drink all night long. Yeah. And just hang out with your friends. That's the best case scenario. I don't, I mean, you really want to start the year with

an Uber surge. Like that's how you want to start the new year. Desperate to find an Uber, your feet fucking hurt. You're all coked out. We don't have any advertisers this episode. Now we're going to start talking about drugs. You're just chuffed desperate to find food, but your feet are bleeding. That's not what happens when you do coke.

All right. You know what? Next topic. No, I've hired. I go home a lot for a new year. Like over the last 10 years, I've probably gone to Pittsburgh, six or seven of them. always just like a big house party and I prefer that. I don't want to be anywhere near New York City on New Year's.

It's just like too crazy for me. Yeah, always go home. Okay, let's get into some stuff that you guys really, some questions you had. I thought some of this stuff was really funny. Hometown hookups. Hometown hookups. And the people that asked this, I got a vibe that they were in college because you're home for a long time.

I would be home for like a month at Clemson. Yeah. Winter break. I think so. Yeah. And then all the people come back. You know what? This is like a really good thing over this time of the year.

guys that were like a senior when you were a freshman that like never paid attention to you. Like or like several years or like four or five years. This is the time of year to have sex with them. Yes. They just didn't pay attention to you in high school. But like now you're all adults and like you go have sex with them at their parents' house. Absolutely. Oh my God.

One time I hooked up with this guy. I was home for the holidays and I had always had a weird crush on him. And he was a teacher at my mom's school. Why do you always? Fuck people that your parents work with. I told my mom like years later after she retired. Of course, she told her. She was talking about the weirdest stuff.

I think hometown when you're home for the holidays is such a good time to hook up people that you would never date. Like the guy I consistently hooked up with when I was home in college was worked at a grocery store. Like the manager? No, I think he worked produce. Is this chunk boy? He monitored the sprinklers.

It was so funny. We would go. while we go to these bars, he was such a good dancer. We would just, like, party and hook up. And, like, I never had to even worry about him trying to date me because it was like, well, I'm going back to college now. Right. That's a really good point.

I don't want to say, go slumming. I hate that term. It's super derogatory. But, like, fuck people, date people, hook up with people that you wouldn't normally date, like, in your hometown. Fucking do it. I mean, it's great. You know I hooked up was just on and off forever.

The guy lost my virginity, too. We slept together on and off for, like, 10 years. Like, he was my hometown. Like, fuck, buddy. Always. And yeah, we probably were never going to date. Like, it was fine. Like, I remember one year for Thanksgiving, we came home.

And I was at home. My mom had picked me up at the airport. This is after college. I was like 25. I was at home and he texted me that he had just landed and his mom picked him up at the airport and his mom picked me up at my mom's house. No. So I could go back to their house and have sex with him.

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's the best. I used to have sex with him every Christmas because one of my really good friends lived across the street from him and I would go to her house for Christmas and then we'd just like stop off at his mom's house

and he would just like happen to be there for Christmas. I would never like announce that I was going to be there and then we'd have sex and like that was it just Christmas sex every year. Merry Christmas to you. Biggest dick I've ever seen hands down. That's not a good thing for me. Right.

That's not the gift you went under the tree. No, I was not looking for an anaconda. It was like getting fucked with a two by four. It was... Oh my God. It was hard to do it. I mean, I can only have sex with them once a year just because it took me that long to recover.

To sew your vagina back together. The lacerations to heal inside of my vagina. Alice did I sleep over the holidays? I had my first threesome over the holiday. What? Yeah, it was 18. You know, but 19 is a crazy year for me. Oh, it was.

That was your crazy year. I used to get, like, arrested all the time. One time I, this was a night. I didn't get fully arrested, but I just got put into a cop car for like a fake idea. I basically got denied from this bar, snuck around the back. straddled a fence, almost fell in a lake to sneak in the back of this bar, and then just went out on the dance floor. Like the bouncer didn't fucking just deny me. Like, no fucks. I got thrown in a cop car and I had a court date for the next morning. They didn't take me to you. I mean,

I was like at probably 19 or 20. So the next morning I got up and snuck out of the house so early, like, because I had to be at court or whatever at like 8 a.m. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. This is Dover, Delaware. My mom was just 100% convinced I just was like pregnant and had to go get an abortion. She was like, why else would you get up, like, at 8 o'clock in the morning and sneak out of the house? If I ever, if you ever told me that you got up at 8 in the morning, I would think you're probably going to get an abortion. Or you at a court date? That's the best way to do it. Like, get an abortion? No, they were so like, oh my gosh, I just went to get an abortion. So for me to come home and be like, no, I know I just got arrested. They were like, oh, thank God.

And my dad, like, hired some lawyer from a billboard and like, he got me off of it. It's fine. Wow. He's just amazing upbringing there. This is a great point. It's like if you ever want to do something really horrible, make people think that you did something even worse. Right. In reality, it's much better. It softens the blow.

Homicide. All right. What else? People, You guys asked, is it a waste to be on the apps or trying to date over the holidays? I mean, I think the apps is the same thing. Like, you're just going to like probably sleep with somebody,

hook up with somebody that you wouldn't. But like, I think the apps are really nice when you are in a place for a couple days that you do not live. And especially like some people's parents have moved. You've, like, go to a place you don't know for the holidays. it's just like, God, you need like a vacation from your family sometimes. Like it's a lot being with your parents for five days. The biggest fight I ever gotten with my family ever was Thanksgiving two years ago.

We'd still call it the Thanksgiving massacre even to this day. You're just together all the time. So you're just like building and building each one of murder each other. Like it does not hurt to go get a drink with somebody. Oh, yeah. And I mean, but even aside from that, like like Raina said earlier, people aren't leaving for the holiday. I mean, may I guess people leave for the holidays for a long time. But like for the most part, I don't see the harm like,

right now we're in like mid, late November. I wouldn't be deterred from dating somebody or going on a date with somebody. I think it almost takes less pressure away. Like you're kind of in a worse spot if you start dating like August or September and then you're in like, what are we, holidays, gifts? Like there's zero of that. So it's just kind of like any other time. I don't know.

Like people are messaging like, do I just not bother until January? I'm like, why? No, there's not like a fatwa on your vagina. You just keep dating. A fatwa. What is that? It's like a firewall. A fatwa.

is like a ban. Like if a king and a queen get divorced and he doesn't want anybody to date the queen, he puts a fatwa on her. A chastity belt? Yes, it's like a legal chastity belt. Okay. That he just says that. Nobody else is allowed to fuck the queen.

So there's no fatwa on your vagina. You can keep dating. Also, we talked about this on the other episode about the couples is we were saying it's how to maintain relationships when you're at home and stuff. And like, I also think that's like everybody's kind of home. home and kind of bored Christmas day. We open our presents and then I'm like, I don't know what the fuck to do for the rest of the day.

I think it's like get on the, get on hinge and find people in your city to kid up when you get back. Like talk about what you're doing. There's so much content there. There's like, oh my God, my mom just did this. My dad's being crazy. It's kind of you have a lot of content to discuss and then I think it's like collecting potential dates for when you get back in the city or when you get back to wherever you live. There's so much to talk about.

And like, what am I going to do in my parents' house all day long? That's what I'm saying. Like I'm bored. Get on. get on there. A finite amount of times I get drunk in one day. I can't masturbate at my parents' house. You don't?

Absolutely not. Under any circumstances, I just don't do it. You feel weird. I feel really weird. I guess I never have either. I can't do it. Also, my mom, after my brother and I moved away, my parents actually bought a nice house that they live in now.

I grew up in like a small town house. My mom is like, you know what? Now that these fucking kids aren't here anymore, she built herself like a five-bedroom McMansion. Oh, my God. That's so fucked up. When I go home is not really my home. I feel weird masturbating.

somebody else is home. You do? Yeah. Do you masturbate? No, I, nothing will fuck me up worse than me masturbating in my mom's house and hearing her voice being like, Raina. Raina, do you want to have dinner? Is the laundry in the dryer?

And I'm like, I'm like, close to an orgasm. Like, nothing will fuck me up worse than that. Oh, can you imagine my stepdad? Oh, God, it would be so bad. Okay. So, what else do people want to know? We're really covering a lot of ground here. I think being single for the first time over the holidays is, like, upsetting for people.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what to tell. I mean, sometimes there's just experiences in life. You just got to go through. I'll share one. Okay. I forget what episode is.

I think maybe the breakup episode. I broke up with somebody right before early December. So we're like in the middle of the holiday season. Okay. And it was really bad. It was really horrible. He was the worst person during that time. I still can't believe.

some of the, like, selfish stuff that went down. It's fine. But when I went home for the holidays, I was just so, so sad. And I remember Christmas morning, we, like, opened all of our gifts. And then we're having, we do, like, a Christmas brunch. That's kind of our family tradition. And I was just sitting there and I was like, I'm going to start to cry, like, in front of all these people, you know, my brother's heir, his girlfriend, my cousin, all these

people, all these people, my aunt's, my aunt, uncle. And I was just like, I'm going to lose it. And so I just got it from the table and, like, kind of left the house to, like, take a walk. We live in this big farm. So I kind of walked the trail back to like our little special picnic spot. It's like our little family spot. So I just got, I just couldn't be in the house. I couldn't be around people.

I was like losing it. And so I just walked and walked back. It's probably like a mile just kind of walking, crying, you know, thinking about how sad I was. And I got back to the picnic spot and I was like, I have to pee. And so I just had to like squat. And I was just like squatting, crying, pissing and crying outdoors. And I was like, this is a really low moment. Like I kind of thought my Home Depot meltdown a few weeks prior when I went to get a Christmas

trip by myself was going to be a low moment. But I think like the pissing and the crying simultaneously on the farm on Christmas Day was really low. Okay. But I love that it built a thing that I love about this story. No, I love that we are laughing about it now because I think that like people are always like, how do I feel better about this? And how do I get over this?

And like sometimes the answer is just you don't. And sometimes you just have to like go through it. and shit sucks and it's uncomfortable. And, like, actually, it's sort of nice to be with your family when these things are happening. Like, oh, my God. Like, when my fiance left me also was right before Thanksgiving. So I had to, like, go through the whole holidays with my family.

And, like, I don't know, cry in front of them. Everybody's been broken up with, like, go through it. Like, there's not just, like, this easy answer all the time. Like, sometimes you, and it's sort of like, I feel like when you're, like, crying and peeing in the woods, like, you know it's funny. Even when you're upset. Cryed and pissing in the woods. And I will say, I came back.

and I just, that was like my bad day. Because it was Christmas day. For whatever reason, I couldn't stop crying all day. And like my mom just was there to console me. And as much as it sucks to have gotten broken up with around the holidays, I can't imagine it otherwise, like not being able to be with my family. Like that was a blessing. What if I just would have been in Atlanta by myself and my apartment?

That would have been like real bad. Yeah. So I think it was that that time, and that was a silver lining for me was like being around the family and the people that love me the most that like accept me, that like accept that I'm just kind of like a sadder version of myself, you know? Yeah. And I think you're just like leaning down how shitty look, how shitty you feel.

Don't fucking, don't shower, nothing. Love not shower. I remember that time my brother finally was like, are you going to shower? And I was like, what? I haven't even been sweating. And he was like stale tale. What's that? Your butt starts to get dirty.

No, that's. Sometimes you like think like, I don't smell. But like, because like I'm fine. Okay. My brother's rehearsal dinner. I drove. I had showered and like, a while. I don't like to shower. Two days. And then I drove to Pittsburgh from New York,

which is like a six and a half hour drive. And like, you don't do anything nice or clean in a car. You just sit there and marinate on your body and like smoke cigarettes and like eat food. That's terrible for you. I don't really smoke, but sometimes I smoke when I drive. I got to Pittsburgh. The rehearsal dinner was starting in 30 minutes. So I was like, oh, well, I have to go. So I stopped at my friend's house. I changed. I like wiped under my armpits and like went to the rehearsal dinner. My brother gives me this hug and he was like, oh, what, uh, what's going on with your body. Oh my God.

I was like, I'm to be shower. I never thought you smelled bad. Thank you. I think I probably smelled worse than you. I've never smelled you. Well, ever,

I'm fine. You don't like to shower. I shower most almost every day, especially because I would like just even, if I ever work out, I have the same shower. But I remember being home in the same sweatpants for, I don't know how many days.

So sad. And you don't wear underwear. So your sweatpants to definitely smell. Right. And like, my brother had like been keeping tabs. And he was like, you need to shower.

And I still remember being like, haven't even sweat. It's freezing outside and he was like, stale-tail. I can't believe that's a thing. I think he got, my brother played college football. I feel like it's like a locker room term. Like your butt stinks. Your butt smells. That's funny. Stale-tail-tail. To be clear, as we don't think I'm disgusting. I shower every day. I wash my hands compulsively, especially after I get off the subway. I just don't wash my hair. Oh, God. I never wash my hair. Yeah. I wash my hair today for the first time in like seven days. I know. Sometimes I can't remember when I washed it last. Like I was like, what city did I wash this last in?

Rob the same way of like, did I shower in Chicago? We were there. I did once. Okay, but actually, we should probably look up his statistic while we're doing it. But I feel like probably one of the greatest number of not just engagements, but breakups happen over the whole way. Because I think that like, especially for men, like, I feel like so many girls, like, he broke up with me on this horrible day.

And it's always the day before your birthday, the day before Valentine's Day over the holidays. So I think that most people face these big events and that's like, that makes you all of a sudden see into the future and you're like, oh my God, I don't want to do this with this person. Or what I think happened to you, and I think happens, and we've kind of addressed this on some other episodes, is that guys procrastinate and they do it at the very last minute. So they've thought about breaking up with you for months now. They've been thinking about breaking up with you since Halloween. And it's finally like, oh God, now it's Christmas. I can't do this any longer.

I can't go see your family or whatever it is. I can't string her along on Christmas so you get broken up with right before the holidays. Right. But like I think in people's minds, it's like, what's worse is the day before the holiday? Or he came home with me and he's with my family the whole. time. We had sex and then we came back and then he left me. Like, that's worse. Someone asked that. When we asked you guys for questions, someone wrote, should I, basically, obviously, obviously they want to break up with somebody. It was like, should I break up with somebody

before or after the holidays? It's like, today. Like, what are you doing? Stop this email. Send your boyfriend an email. Yeah, I hope you answered your own question. What are you talking about? Have you imagined? BCC him on this. Like stringing somebody long and over the holidays and then then just dropping the bombs. You like to start the new year so fucked up. All right. So, Okay, I feel like we like wrapped holidays up into a nice little bow. Ooh, yeah, for the singles. Do you feel good? Yeah, for sure.

I feel like we give people good tools to go home with. I feel like I'm armed with good tools to go home with. Yeah, and like, don't let anybody make you feel bad. Have some insults locked and loaded. When you said it was clapback season, do you have an example of a clapback? Yeah, I mean, I think, I don't know when this started. I mean, again, like I didn't make up clapback season. I forget this was maybe a couple years ago.

It's like, it's that thing. It's when someone tries to say some shit at Thanksgiving dinner table and you're like, okay, and Brenda, how's the third divorce going? You know, you just like clap back. I love it. I love that. I've never heard that before. Yeah.

We should start some, we should do some. Oh, you know what? Send us your best holiday clapbacks. Send us your best holiday clapbacks. But also, this is a fun idea. My friend Merrill actually had this. I feel like she's like the unofficial third host this podcast. She had this funny idea that you guys should send us your single on the holidays

confessions. Like someone says something really fucked up or something funny happens over the holidays. And you're just like, my God, I'm about to scream and divorce my whole family. Instead, go into the back bedroom and like film a little funny video and let it out as catharsis instead of us. We'll put it on our Instagram story. I love that. Yeah. Or just like tag us in funny stuff. But we, I just feel like that'll be a fun therapy and we can kind of make it like single all the way, confessinals for the holidays on our Instagram story. So, and I mean, it has to be 15 seconds. So like you

got to get creative to like condense this. Oh, this is my favorite thing you've ever done. Actually, all emails people send us should have to be able. to be condensed in a 15 second Instagram story. If you can't read it in 15 seconds, don't set it to you. That's a good idea. See if it condenses. I love the emails to start with, okay, guys, buckle up. We're like, sorry if how long this is.

It's like, oh, we're like, click, click delete. I'm just kidding. If you have to apologize to me, don't set it. But yeah, so send us the funny stuff. Like, that's a thing. It could be really fucked up stuff that happens, but like we'll find the humor in it. As time I was home, I set my house on fire. Right.

A little fire. A little bit. I'll repost this on our history. I'm trying to burn my house down. But I'm running around. My mom, my brother tried to put it out. And I was like, Raina, why are you putting this in Instagram? Like, you guys handled it.

Right. Like, why would I not put it on Instagram? Why would this? A third person needs to be out here, like managing this situation. You got this. Right. To wrap up, we asked you guys for holiday themed, is this weirds. We got some really funny stuff.

Keep sending them to us, please, over the holidays. Yes, we have some uses for them. And we're holding some of the most ridiculous funniest ones. But please send them. So just send us emails. Is this weird subject line holidays? Okay, you want to get the first one? Yeah, I don't know why.

This isn't like that wild, but I just think it's funny. It's weird. It makes me laugh. Okay, so is this weird? Holidays. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years and he doesn't have any sisters. For the holidays, his mom constantly says she's going to give me items to put in a hope chest as my gift. A hope chest is something lots of southern moms give their daughters when they get married.

Usually things in it are like kitchen. appliances, towels, bedding, etc. I could just be dramatic, but I find this incredibly weird because I'm 22, about to graduate and go back to school, start a whole career. And I think she's hinting that I need to be barefoot and pregnant sooner than later with her grandkid. I have a very good relationship with my mom, so I don't find it too important to have a second mother figure with my significant other's mom. Is this weird or am I an asshole? Okay. I have feelings about this. I actually have like a real input. First of all, I've never heard of the term hope chest before. So I'm glad that she explained what it was. Is it like a giant, it's like, yeah, it'll be able to put to your bed.

like a trunk, yeah. Because she was like kitchen appliances. Right. Well, that's a thing. Like that's, I didn't realize that's what it for. I know, I've heard of Hope Chess. I spent a lot time in the South and I can picture the chest, but I, like, there's a fucking blender in it. Are they that big? She said kitchen appliances. It's big. It's like, I thought people just had it as like a gift. It's like at the foot of the bed. You've like blankets and blankets. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So here's my, here's my thoughts on this because this, this didn't happen to me, but I dated somebody for a long time whose mother, he was one of three boys.

She never had any daughters. So I think that women just sort of like maybe are a little out of touch with how young girls want to be treated and the gifts they want to be given because they don't run around any young girls. Like maybe that's what her mother did for her. And so like she's just not around any 22-year-old girls. So she's like acting out these things that her mother did

because she's like, oh, that must be what she wants. Right. Well, my take, I want to know, is this like a house of three or four boys? Like, if that's the case, like, she, this mom wanted a daughter. You know what I mean? And she probably really likes you. It's better than the alternative that the mom's a bitch that hates you. So, yeah, she doesn't have to be sisters, but I'm like, does he have brothers?

You know, you see families of like three boys or three girls and you're like, they wanted that third one to be a different sex. Oh, yeah. You know, so it's like, is it just a bunch of brothers? And she just wants, you know, she wants to have a girl around. I would think it's how is she treating you? Like, I hope chess, that could be just like a cute thing that she, like her mom did or who knows. But I'm like, is she making comments all the time?

That's a whole different thing. Is she like making you feel pressured to pop out kids and be barefoot and pregnant? I would think the actions are also important instead of just the gift. Yeah. I mean, it's really funny. I could make fun of this forever. But like, I just love how those girls is like, I don't need another mom. I'm good.

I have a mom. Am I an asshole? I just see her like going to like the room, you're not my mom. like slamming the door. I don't know. She wants a daughter. I know. That's how I feel like to do with a young girl.

Like my exes mom had three sons. She just like loved buying me cookbooks. She did give me a blunder one year. She just, she loved giving me that stuff. Right. And it's kind of like as long as she's not, oh, they also have been together for three years.

So clearly the, if you guys have been together for three years, the mom probably thinks of you is like part of the family anyway. And I think that as long as she's not making you feel a certain way or feel pressured or saying weird remarks. Like, let her give her the fucking chest with a blender in it. I'll take a gift anytime from anyone. I mean, I have nowhere to put a Pope chest in this apartment. Yeah, I don't want a hope chest, but like a KitchenAid blender,

those things are like $500. Captain Morgan sent me this giant cooler for like the Bros. Be Basic three-year anniversary. It was amazing. I took this picture in front of it. And it was huge. It was like a Yeti. And I was like, you guys got to come back and get this.

I was like, I took a picture. I got a lot of likes. Someone's got to pick this shit up. Like, I didn't want to toss it. Well, it was huge. I don't have a garage. A garage? You say garage weird.

Say it again? I don't know. Garage. Just like a long... How do you say garage? It just ends at the end of the word. I had a garage. Now the word has I mean.

I had a garage in my last Liana apartment. I felt so rich. I'll know that I'm rich when I have a washer dryer. in my apartment. Yeah. That's the richest you could ever be. I mean, to compare, like, Atlanta to New York. I mean, yeah, my last Atlanta apartment was 2,000 square feet, washer dryer, garage, patio,

hardwoods, marble. Everything's now. Yeah, I mean. Maybe he's little sponsored. High ceilings. But New York friends would come over and be like, how rich are you? I'm like, this is $1,200. Oh, my God.

That's so crazy. It's wild. Lived right in the bell line. All right. That's so wild. Okay. These are all from the south. Here's the next one.

Speaking of the South. Hey, y'all. I got to tell you something. until I met you and started this podcast. I didn't know that people actually typed the word y'all in like an email. No idea. That was a word that was only said. Only said.

I had no idea. So in Pittsburgh, they say the word yins, Y-I-N-Z. Isn't that like derogatory? No, it means y'all. It's just yin's.

What's it? Oh, yinzer is the word. Yinser. Yeah. It means you trashy. That's great. Okay. But because like,

I don't want to say like only people that are trashy say yins, but like I don't say yins. I have so many people. My mom's from Pittsburgh. I know so many of Pittsburgh for so I'm hearing this word. Yeah. So I don't know any trash bag Pittsburgh people. I mean, it's a fun word to say whatever. Like, hey, yons? What are you in soon? Oh, I see. Maybe it's like an old school thing too. Like a mom would say it. No, my mom would never say it. Like, what are you doing today?

Anyways, I just had no idea people typed the word y'all. I just didn't know that that was done in society. I learned. But I say y'all a lot. Hey y'all. Hey y'all. So this starts with, hey y'all. coming to you from the south in Kentucky. We have a stereotype of fucking dating our cousins around here. That's more Alabama. Yeah, that's a little more south in Kentucky. Roll time. Okay.

We have a stereotype of fucking dating our cousins around here, and I believe that some people did. But I never thought anything that would happen, that it would be anything that would happen to me. Two years ago at Christmas, my cousin hit on me. Hard. I was walking out to the car. from our grandma's house when he came out to me and said there was just something about me

and we could be kissing cousins in quotations. He was not joking at all. What the fuck? I'm not asking, is this weird? Because it is absolutely. I told him it wasn't happening and I had to delete him off of my social media. Loveless to me all. I wish I hadn't binged all the episodes because now I have to wait for each money to roll around.

Well, now you don't anymore. Sign up for the Patreon. I don't know. Oh, my God. You got any hot cousins? Ew. I only have one. I don't, we only have six, I only have four cousins.

So this is, you don't have to, like, worry about anything I'm trying to sleep with you. And only one male cousin. And he's not cute. He's cute. No, he's married as three kids. They're great. But actually, this is funny that she had to delete him off for social me. She was like, okay, cousin Ray Ray, stay the fuck away for me.

And also, you're deleted off my Facebook. I can't even happy to somebody. Kila, gave her the pitch. I just don't you picture him with like one tooth. And he's like, we could be kissing cousins. I want to kiss your mouth. I put my mouth on your mouth. Oh, my God.

What would you do? Oh, my God. That is so crazy. Disgusting. I have a very good looking. second cousin who I didn't grow up with. I wouldn't make out with him. I'm just saying, like, I can appreciate that he was good looking.

Yeah. But I have a lot of guy cousins that are first cousins that are like my age, a year older, year younger. Never. I can't even know. What would I do if one of my first cousins said something like that? You have to see those people again. I know.

You have no choice. I don't know. I wouldn't be curious. Is this like a first cousin? No, like a second cousin or like if you share a cousin, not really your cousin. I just got, I want to know like where he's staying. in the group. Yeah.

It's like, this is just a funny thing we wanted to read. Is it weird? Yeah. But I want to know like what the rest of the family gatherings were like.

Right. Like you to see them always. Every wedding? Or is this just like every four years? Right. And she said she'd delete them off her social media.

So it's like, it sounds like maybe she doesn't see him a lot during the year. Thank God. Well, I'm sorry this happened to you. Cute listener from Kentucky. Yeah.

All right. Next email. Okay. So I've been casually talking in sky. I met on Hinge for a couple months. but I haven't really wanted to actually meet up with him. It seems like he doesn't have any friends,

so I feel bad and continue to Snapchat, text message, etc., because he just seems a tad lonely. That makes me sad. Yeah, I hate when I get the vibe that someone's lonely. I know. I'm 25 and he's 29. He's successful and seems sweet, but recently he started asking what I wanted for Christmas.

Considering we have never met in person, is this weird? It seems a bit creepy to me. He knows I'm dating other people and go out fairly often, sleep with other people. I think he knows I'm not interested in him, so why does he continuously ask what to get me for Christmas? I don't know. To me, this isn't like that weird.

It's just like somebody who doesn't, is like a little socially awkward. Right. Doesn't know how to like make a joke and so they like keep making the same joke. But I mean, he's probably, he sounds like he's going to buy her a gift. I wonder if he's asked for her address. Yeah, I'd be curious if this is like, to me that she sounds like somebody who's socially awkward, not funny and like doesn't know how to make jokes. So it's like holiday humor. Okay.

Like, what do you want for that? Like, they could just have nothing else. And like maybe she laughed it at one time. She says continuously. She probably like giggled at it once the first time. And so, like, he's, like, leaning on it. You know, somebody, like, overuses an inside joke with you. Yeah.

Oh, God. Ew. I hate it. I mean, I don't actually, I don't know because I can't be friends of those people. All my friends are funny. So I also just want to address what else is happening here. Like, I don't know. I feel like, it's sort of like a sweet girl that feels bad for this guy.

But I'm also like, I don't know. I worry about the guy, like, feeling misled. Yeah, actually, that's like a really good point. Like, she doesn't have to keep talking to him if she doesn't think that he's, but I think her intentions are good. She just feels like he's lonely. Yeah. I mean, they are really, she said Snapchat, text message, etc. Like, who's out here? I don't understand. It sounds like if she enjoys talking to him, why don't it be, why don't

not be friends with the guy? You don't have to date the guy. I'm kind of like, if you're talking to him that much, you can't hate it. Why not just be friends? Be like, hey, I'm dating other people. She said that he knows she's dating other people and sleeping with other people. They're like talking about that shit. Like, it sounds like he's our friend. Why don't you be friends with them? Yeah, just be friends. I agree. This is a good point. Yeah. Look at us not making fun of people and just being nice. I know. There was one, I mean, I hate to tease you guys, but there is one funny as this weird, but we can't decide what to do with it yet. We might even like save it for the live show. It is so insane. It's what someone's mother and law got them as a gift. I was crying in my bed reading it. I feel like we're going to get a lot of these. I believe we're going to get a lot of his mother bought me this weird. Okay, okay. So, yeah, send us your, is this weird and also just crazy gifts? Crazy gifts that you're, yeah. Maybe that'd be a funny segment. Yeah. Funniest gifts that you've ever been given for the holidays. Yes, but like for many, for many, for many. Anybody. Like maybe somebody got you a locket from eBay that was all rusty and disgusting. Maybe somebody got you an iPhone case that you were never going to use. The day before Christmas. I bought my mom a bed bath and beyond set once and she started crying.

She was like, you know, I don't like this stuff. I don't like all this smelly stuff. She was so pissed. She was like personally victimized by the lotion. It was for Mother's Day. By the lotion. Yeah, it was for Mother's Day. and like she cried.

Shut up, she cried. She was going to her to fend. She was going through a breakup. But like she still talks about it to this day. It was like the worst she's ever felt. And her like my brother and I were like eight and four. And she like progressively got more upset over like 20 minutes.

She was crying. She hated it so much. Just take it back. I think it was also like the added layer that like she was divorced for my dad. he had to go buy the gift for us. So, like, obviously he picked out something that she would hate. He let us pick it out. Like, he paid for it.

I think it was just a bad time. But it was very funny. She still brings it up. Wait, you just bath and bodyworks. Is that what you meant? What did I say? Bad Bath and Beyond. Yeah, Bath and Body Works old school.

You probably got like, probably got like Juniper Breeze or Frisia. Oh my God. I loved. Country Apple. Oh, my God. Which one were you? Which said? Jennifer Brace loved it.

I'd be like that says something about you. It does? I don't know. I feel like those memes of like any girl he used to wear juniper breezes in jail now. I think I like the most like really good. I feel like the trashy girls in my middle school high school. Like they like that country apple. I loved the country apple.

Loved. Could not get enough of it. I liked Frisia. You know what? There was one. This is such a deep cut. Oh my God. The smell of me losing my virginity is.

What? Bath and Body Works, Sweet Pea, I think it's called. This was later. They started with like the three major ones. It was like country apple, juniper breeze, peach, whatever. And then they would introduce more. Frija was a little later. My friend's mom was a manager there. We got Frisia all the time. Oh, yeah. We got stuff there all the time. Sweet pee. I think that's what it was called was like, that's all that's all I would wear. So if you were to, if I were to smell it right now, it'd be like, shame. That's the guy that bought me the Tim's too. Wow. He really, these were like some, 1997 gifts. I mean, not 97. I'm just kidding, guys. We were not old enough to lose our virginities in 1997.

I did not lose my virginity in the 90s. Let's be clear. I'm trying to remember when I lost mine. I lost mine in the 2000s. Yes, same. Okay. But Apple. I loved Apple.

And you can get like a little box sets of like the mini lotion. Oh my God. Yeah. So then I loved those. Body Works. I mean, it's still legit. It's in all the malls. girlfriends, they bought like a really nice pumpkin spice candle from there.

It smelled so good. I love a pumpkin. They're still around. I love those. I feel like they're in the malls. In malls. Yeah. They're in the mall in Pittsburgh.

I'm going to bring, make bath and body works great again. Isn't they sponsor us? They should. They really should. Everybody should sponsor us. Right. Any like lotion, body makeup, massages. Your mom will cry.

I'm not giving it to her. I'm taking it. She'll be so pissed. as she hears. I told that story. She's always like, that's the worst time I ever felt. Like, that's the worst thing you ever did to me. Really? When you think of all the fights we've had, that's what you come up with.

I can't imagine. Like, you're a kid giving your mom a gift. She just starts to cry. Like, not because she's happy because she's pissed. Pissed. Yes. I'll never forget it all of my life. It was Mother's Day.

It was horrible. Oh, my God. All right, guys. Well, your single All the Way episode is concluding. You can go buy single, all the way sweatshirts on our website. Mugs. Advertise it.

Wear it home with a nice cardigan. Ooh. We got a t-shirt that says it. It's cute. Yeah. I wear my holiday gear all year-round. Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely going to wear like the ho-ho-ho sweatshirt in June. Always.

Christmas in July. You would wear it with thigh eyes. That would be cute. Yeah, my Air Ana Grande outfit. I'm going to get one of our sweatshirts in like an XXXXL and wear it with high boots and just fucking rock it with a high pony. Love that idea. Thank you. Oh, my God.

Next. That's what you should do for new. All right. New Year's is set. New Year's managed. All right. Okay, guys, sign up for the Patreon. Buy the merch. And happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, guys. We love you. We will see you on Monday.

Bye. Bye.