Girls Gotta Eat - Soft Launches and Hard D*cks with Kaitlyn Bristowe

Episode Date: March 14, 2022

We're so happy to welcome podcaster/dancer/winemaker/Bachelor Nation legend Kaitlyn Bristowe, and she's getting just as refreshingly candid as we expected about her relationship, previous breakup, mental health, and more. We're chatting about dating someone more private (when you're not), how she and Jason got out of the friend zone, hormonal depression, nudes, period sex, and more. AND we were inspired to bring back Is This Weird? (you'll see why). Before Kaitlyn joins us, we are deep diving on the relationship "soft launch" -- what it means, how to do it, and our experiences. Hope you enjoy! Follow Kaitlyn on Instagram @KaitlynBristowe and catch her on the DWTS tour! Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Blueland: Visit blueland.com/gge to get 20% off your first order. Daily Harvest: Get up to $40 off your first box at dailyharvest.com/gge. Calm: For a limited time, get 40% off a premium subscription at calm.com/gge. Native: Get 20% off your first purchase by going to nativedeo.com/ggedeo or use promo code GGEDEO at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I sent him like a picture of me having a whiskey in the bath, like covering the right places. And I was like, don't do it. And he was like, oh my God. I love this origin story. Oh, you ran out of the friend zone. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. What were you to say?

I thought you had something to say if you're like after we think our partners. I have something funny to say to you later. I wonder if you even think it's funny. You know what? It's been a minute since we did a weather review. So let's just see. So right now it is 45 and sunny. But on the day that this is supposed to come out on Monday in New York,

we said we have a low of 33 and a high of 55. The sun should be out. Fuck it all. Ashley and I're moving. We're getting out of here. We'll see. We'll let you guys know. No, I mean, I think we've been saying this too much and like shiting all over in New York.

And, you know, listen, we might just be living a little bit more. By coast. By coast. All over coast. All coast. I don't listen. I'm like, I'm the president of the, I'm never living, leaving New York fan club. I've been here 14 years.

No one stands New York. York more than I do. I've lived through a lot of disgusting apartments to live here. I love New York. We love New York. I'm getting old guys and I need to be in the sun like old Jewish people that migrate through. There's too much garbage here. The men and on the streets physically. I can't stress it enough. I can't step in another pile of human shit. I know. But I do when I think about leaving. I like get really my feels. Like I'll walk around and listen to music and think about leaving and like what I would say in like a post. And I'm just like, it's the best thing I've ever done is move here and I just can't stress enough. But like, I'm ready for a different kind of life. I'm ready for that beach life.

I guess this is an aging thing of you just want to be warm. Like, I used to love the cold. You know me. I would be on these streets like, love this city. It's two degrees. You know, ready for the abuse. I was built for it. I liked it. I like dark and cold. And like, I just genuinely have changed. I think my body has changed. I think I am way, I'm way better in the heat than I used to be. Like, remember the one time we were in Miami? You were like, I'm sweating. I'm like, I feel great. Like we were at Carbone. Like, I think my body is acclimating to want more warm weather like an old person. Because I used to be like, I want four seasons, I want cold, and I just don't feel like that anymore.

You know, I told my dad, we're going to get into this in a second. I told my dad that you and I were thinking about getting a place to Miami because he was, he was like, I can't be in Pittsburgh in the winters. It's too cold. And I was like, Ashley and I are actually, you know, moving down to Miami part time, I think. We'll see. We're getting to. My dad goes, I feel like it'll be too much if I, like, live with you girls.

And I was like, dad. Dad. I didn't know part of me met that. No. But I meant you go to Boka. Ashley and I will be like an hour away sometimes. You get two to three visits a year and they're got to be on off days. He thought that you and I were volunteering to get him a place to live with us.

That is so cute, Bill. But if you're listening, that's no. You buy us a place. That's not other stores. All right. Well, we've had a great week. We launched new merch last week. Thank you guys so much for all of the orders.

You guys stormed at the store. Oh my God. She said it. How did you not say it until now? You know somebody DM me and she said you haven't said litmus test or stormed the internet in a week and I miss you? Yeah, but litmus test was old school. Like, you used to say that in like 2018, 2019.

When I don't have a lot of words. Storm the store, storm the tickets. Like, you've stayed with that. But litmus test, you took a few years off. I retired. It's back now. Yeah, you brought it out and you brought it up from the minor leagues. But I'm so proud of what we launched.

We have really, really cute designs for girls got to eat. We literally don't care. We fuck around and find out. We have bags that are so cute. We just ordered some joggers to sample to see for the next drop. But lots of hats, lots of really cool stuff. You guys just went crazy for it. So thank you.

We love you guys. The return policy on this, we just want to let you guys know. All sales are final. We're a small business. So once items go into fulfillment, we cannot give you, we can cancel orders unless something is defective or you get the wrong item. So that's the return policy. Read it on the website.

Girlsgettypodcast.shop. Okay. And you guys, you stormed the Toronto tickets. That's for sure. They went so quick. I'm sure there's still a few left. So check on that. And then, of course, we still have some tickets left to Kansas City and Detroit.

Those are the ones I'm really pushing because I know we have plenty left. And those shows are going to be big and fun and amazing. I think Pittsburgh is sold out. Maybe a few tickets will be released. And then we have tickets left for Indianapolis, Portland Late Show and St. Louis. And that's it. Yeah. Pittsburgh's not completely sold out.

So still try to buy those tickets. No, it's... When you go there, it says it sold out? I don't know what's going on. But it's close. Take a look. It's been on sale forever. I don't care if you didn't get tickets.

That's on you. But just check. Yeah, see what's available. Yes, a couple people message us and asked about the Vancouver show. It's sold out. And yeah, it's happening. Absolutely.

So we'll see you guys at the end of the month. We're doing shoe shows in Portland. The next night, Seattle. The next night, Vancouver. All those shows are a go. Absolutely. And if you're coming to any show, always email us.

These crazy stories. of people you're coming with, roast your friends, tell us what single guys are in the audience and send that to stories at girlsgettypockets.com and in the subject line, the city that you are coming from. We have such a good episode today. We have Caitlin Bristow.

First time on our show. We've been on her show before. We went on her show again. We have for today. We're talking about all kinds of fun stuff. So you guys get ready for that. But I wanted to just say something, not to bring the mood down,

but just something that we both wanted to address is the war in Ukraine. And while we haven't discussed this yet on the show, it is something that is constantly on our mind. And we talk about all the time. We post on social media. It's just conversations that we're always having. I think a lot of us are with our friends and family and everything else.

And we just want to say what's happening is horrifying. And that goes without saying people have lost their lives. They've had to flee their homes. And if you stay abreast of the news, you know all this. We're not a news podcast. We want to be able to be an escape from the terrible things happening in the world. But obviously we want our audience to know that we stand with the people of Ukraine. And this is on our minds constantly.

We received an email from a listener that I thought would be impactful to read some excerpts from. She says, I have been a loyal snack head for the past three and a half years. I look forward to your episodes every week and recommend them to all my girlfriends. As I am writing this, my fiance's family is hiding in bomb shelters and my friend's cities are being destroyed. You have a huge listening and I myself, Russian and have four other girlfriends, Russian and Ukrainian, who listen to you and are coming to your Seattle show. So we can't wait to see them there. I really hope that you can take a minute or two of your time and show some support to Ukraine

and your Slavic listeners. I personally feel unsupported living in the U.S. as Americans seem numb to wars outside of their country and they are kind of quote unquote used to it. I myself was never affected with any wars before, but right now 95% of my circle is suffering and we are affected in one way or another. So I ask you to please say a word for us.

We Russians in the U.S. and across the world do not support Putin's regime and feel threatened for our safety. It's an important emphasis to needs to be placed that Russia does not equal Putin. So please keep this in mind if you do decide to say something to support Ukraine as the mentions of Russians attacking Ukraine. Ukraine hurts those Russians who never wanted it and are in pain.

So those are her words. I just wanted to read those. Of course, the, again, people of Ukraine, we feel for you. We stand with you. I feel like there's not words. There's not a lot of words that can do it justice. They just don't feel impactful enough. But I want to thank her to writing to us anyone else who has.

I mean, in terms of actionable things, I think just making sure to rely on trustworthy information, be wary of falling for and spreading misinformation. There's so much out there with this. The Washington Post just published an article. on this. There are other credible sources that have tips and tools on verifying information and consuming news. We know you guys are great and you're smart and you get it. I just wanted to say that. I always plug Jessica Yellen on Instagram. I feel like I'm tagging her constantly. I tie her way too much. Her platform is called News Not Noise. She is a wonderful go-to for balanced digestible news

and resources. Jessica Y-E-L-L-L-I-N is the Instagram handle. And of course, donate if you're able. I personally have donated to CARE International for years. I donate monthly to International Rescue committee. They just take it out of my account. Voice of Children Foundation is a good place to donate global empowerment mission. Also the Polish Red Cross as so many Ukrainians have fled to Poland. We can post this on our story this week too. And if you're wondering, you know, about credibility, charity navigator.org is a good place to look for credibility ratings and just cross-referencing places to donate with credible sources. You guys are smart. You get it. But of course, just wanted to encourage you to donate if you're able and stay abreast of everything that's going on as much as you can

digest and ultimately we just wanted to address this and express our feelings and show our support. Thanks, Ash. You know, obviously everything that Ashley said, I co-sign and anybody that's struggling or in pain or scared, we stand with you and our hearts are with you and you're on our minds. Yeah. Okay. Really weird to go from like war to to flow jobs or whatever we're about to talk about. But anyway, that's what we do on the show. Do you have a good segue way? What do you say? Let's see. I said to Ashley not a lot happening to me this week. So I'll tell you this thing that I did last night. So I went to see Batman last night with Jeremy.

And it's the new Batman movie. And I accidentally bought 4DX tickets, which was a whole thing. 4DX is like a ride, essentially. Every seat is like isolated and it rocks you back and forth. Like a ride, you get like hit in the back. There's steam and water. You keep saying hit in the back. Like really?

Like it just like a massage chair that just like punches you in the back. So there's like a car seat. There's like a car chase scene. And you're like in the car essentially. I mean, the whole seat is... Are you strapped in these seats? No. And the beers that we had did not have tops on them.

And the beers exploded. They just went and we had big gulps a beer and they exploded all over each other. So I... Listen, I think it's a fun thing to try wines. It's not my preferred way to view a movie. Like, I think I'd... It's a beautiful movie. It's an incredibly shot, beautiful three-hour movie.

It's a lot to deal with. I could Jeremy. Jeremy was like, how did you know? I know. And I was like, I don't know, because normally they give you a warning if you buy 40x tickets. They're like, if you're prone to seizure, if you've epilepsy. Jeremy was like, if you were over 40, you cannot go to one of these movies. He was holding onto the seats, like such a little baby. Wait, what? I am dying to go to one of these. It's really fun. You do it for action movies. I did it for Black Widow. It's fun for Marvel

movies. I don't know where they all are, but the Union Square Regal Theater is a big one for it. Union Square Regal. Okay, got it. I'm dying to go to one of these. The first time you told me about it, I was like, what is this? Because I was, I love rides. Yes, it's like a ride. The steam comes through. You get hit in the face of water. I turned off Jeremy's water and I shouldn't have.

I should have him get to hit in the face. Turn your water on or off. Yes. And there's a couple scenes where it's raining in the movie and you're getting rained on from the ceiling. Little droplets, but like it's noticeable. It's pretty crazy. Oh my God. I just, did you know that like as a kid, all I cared about was amusement parks and rides and everything, like obsessed?

Like I went, even my 16th birthday, 16, we went to Kings Dominion. We have never been to an amusement park together. I lied. 18. I lied. I was like, I want to go to Kings Dominion. Like,

I was obsessed with roller coasters and rides and Disney and everything, Disney World, uh, like as a kid, that's all I cared about. I would have dreams that like the golf course, like near my house turned into an amusement park and I wake up. I would feel so sad.

Like no one was more obsessed with like roller coasters and rides and amusement parks than me. Like I was going to them well into my 20s. Okay. I don't think, you think I'm going to laugh at you. I don't think it's weird. I think I'm not like a Disney adult.

I just like, I think rides are fun. I think amusement parts are fun. I don't know. ride a roller coaster. I won't do it. Probably. That's what I'm going to start.

I have that. My brother can't do it. My mom gets like that inner ear thing. But like I can't deal with the drop. I hate it. I can go really fast. I can spin. Those rides where you spin are fine.

I have the drop. I can't handle it. And it was my nightmare growing up that my friends would have like birthday parties at these like amusement parks. And I just like had to make up an excuse to not go. It was so embarrassing. It embarrasses me to this day. Oh my gosh.

I love amusement parks. I just, I love the energy. I love the food. I think it's really fun. I just, I can't get on roller coasters. I know I'm a little bitch. This is making me want to go now.

Like, I want to go on a date with like a guy. Like I just as an adult and like him like grab onto him. Also, I love a haunted house. Hove. Tower of Terror. Disney World. I went out three times in a row. My mom was like, you got to stop. She was like, she has to stop.

She can't be stopped. Ashton's going to Ashley. Left Tower Terror. It was like got right back in line. That is so crazy. You just like being in terror. Well, that's the drop. It goes straight down.

Yeah. terrifying. Your stomach just flies up into your throat. I would rather die. I like those rides that spin so fast you stick to the walls. Like the Gravitron. Yeah. I love those. Those don't bother me on the road with beach boardwalk. We'll go this summer. Thank God. We'll go next week. And they have a haunted house in there too. It's like so old school and like low budget. But the haunted house is lit. You got to do Gravitron, haunted house, bumper cars. I got to get involved with some bumper cars and some haunted house. I feel like I haven't done it in so many years. I worry that I'm just too old and like I'm going to get whiplash, but you, like, the way that you are with the stripper, like, you'll have no problems.

Like, the way your neck bounces around, like, you're going to be a Muffercard queen. Well, the point with the stripper is I like to, I like to time my alcohol, so I'm just like pretty buzzed when they come out so that when they're whipping my body around all time to think about what's about to happen. And then I'm good. I do get whiplash a little bit. I've got had to get a couple of massages following it. Well, you love to get a massage. Okay, guys, we'll go see Batman. And maybe you might need a massage afterwards. But I have a couple of X too. I wanted to I watched Pam and Tommy. Oh yeah, you told me I have to watch it.

Which is on Hulu. I like it. Seth Rogen is in it. He plays the character that like releases the sex tape. So it's really kind of all centered around the sex tape, which... Okay. They're married at the time of the... No. They, I mean, it opens with them being married and fucking and then it goes back to them meeting. The sex tape is an interesting angle, especially from like a woman's standpoint how she was treated throughout the whole thing. Also, it was in the 90s. A lot a 90s nostalgia in the movie, which I love, obviously, the music and the fashion, everything. But he seems like a total asshole, you know, rock star type. But she just, I think, was this really, like, sweet woman.

She was from Canada. Like, I didn't know how she got discovered. I mean, I'm assuming most of it is all based on truths. I don't know how, I didn't, I don't know how they feel about it, like Pam and Tommy. But, you know, it's a dramatization of, like, the actors are playing them and stuff. Uh-huh. I think they make them look really good. I think that the casting and the makeup for the roles are so phenomenal.

It's insane. So I liked it. It didn't blow my mind. It's not the best thing I've ever seen. But I like it. So I do recommend it. Speaking of Hulu wrecks and stuff that doesn't release the whole show at once, the dropout is out on Hulu. You guys know I'm obsessed with Elizabeth Holmes.

I'm obsessed with Bad Blood and Theranos. It's one of my favorite books of all time. I love financial crimes in Silicon Valley. I didn't say Silicon. Aren't you so proud of me? Nailed it. So the dropout, it stars Amanda Seafried. It is a dramatization of the Theranos.

and Elizabeth Holmes, basically drama unfolding. I think it's phenomenal. I watched the first three episodes. It's exactly what I wanted Anadelvie to be. Like Anadelvie on Netflix, I felt it was a complete reimagination of the facts. I don't want to see like a character

that was written about and a reimagination of it. I'd like to just see a dramatization of what actually happened. Or I'd rather watch the documentary or read the book. The Anadelvie thing was just like a terrible accent hammered with like a story that like didn't really happen. Yeah. So anyways, it's what I wanted. and Adelebe to be. I think it's really phenomenal and gripping. Three episodes are out.

There might be more now. And that is on Hulu as well, guys. Check it out. Also, guys, there was a Love's Blind reunion. I mean, we're kind of out of it now. But of course, you guys probably watched it. Shake was just like the fucking worst. I feel like he was trying to be a villain, but he couldn't pull it off. And everything that came out of his mouth was awful and we hated it. And like, everybody had a nose ring. Did you notice? Everybody had a nose ring. I did not think that's that you were going to end that speed. I wrote two notes. I was like, shake, nose ring. Everyone had a nose ring. Kyle. Kyle, you don't need a nose ring. Also, like, you're doing construction. Is that even safe?

What if Vanessa say? I hope he supports me if I'm dismayed. Dismangled. Dismangled. And she kept doubling down. It's just, it's, it's, the sentiment really was there. She was popping off so hard and she just had to see the word wrong. She's a dismangled three times.

She, like, hit it so hard. She was so mad. What do you think was like Nick was thinking that all the time? Baby stop. He doesn't care. Compared to Jessica, he's like, she's a genius. I'm kidding.

We love Jessica Simpson. And I think she's very smart. Okay, soft launches. Okay, so you started talking to me about this because there was this hysterical video. Yeah, that's at me. There was a video on, I think it was on Betches. It was probably other places too

that someone made that was like soft launching your boyfriend or maybe not even your boyfriend the person that you're dating. And it's like telling them to get their arm in a photo, but not, you know, there's so many different ways to do it. and we'll go through some of the ways you guys do it. But if you're confused on what this is,

it basically is, I love the term. I think it's fucking hysterical. It's like posting someone very lightly on social media. It's letting people know you're getting some dick without having to like show their whole face. And not like a full reveal, you know? And I think anything goes. Hard launch everyone you date.

I do not care. Like no one should be shaming people for dating a lot or having a lot of boyfriends or posting someone too soon. Like this is a whole you do you situation. hopefully you're just aligned with the person and you're not like putting them a blast when they don't want to be. But no judgment surrounding it. I think we all have our own ways of like how we deal with like dating and social media.

I will, I mean, it's been a minute since I've had a serious, a serious partner that I was like, we're a boyfriend girlfriend, but I posted the guy that the little Frankie's guy that goes to me. I did a soft launch photo that night. I said like, I said like it was his arm was in it.

It was clear it was a man's arm. He was like holding his wine glass. And I think I said like it's the 2 a.m. date for me or something. something like that. Like, I like people to know them on these streets dating. Like, I have a dating podcast. I date. I want people to know. Like, I think people like it. They like some mystery. Like, I didn't even know that guy's fucking Instagram. I didn't tag him. But like, I think that kind of stuff is fun and I support it and I love it. Yeah, I don't know. I just, I think you just, this whole podcast theme is like, do you? Do it feels good? If you're having fun and like you're on a

date, you want to let people know you're on a date. Like, why not post it? I've certainly done that. I mean, for me, it's a little different for you and I. Like, I'm probably not posting somebody in tagging them anytime. And tagging them, of course, yeah. But yeah, I'm a big fan of the hairy arm in the photo at a restaurant. I do that all the time. I feel like I did that a lot with Kane. I feel like when I'd go to L.A. a lot with him.

I always, like, wanted people to know I was like with a man. That's so fun to like let people know that I'm having a good time and, like, getting some. Why not? I mean, obviously you did after your birthday, you did the hard launch. But had you tagged him up until then or he was just in stuff? Because even in Miami that time, like he was in some of my videos, but like no one knew who he was. So I was never going to tag him in that post either. Emily got in there and tagged him immediately.

I purposely did not tag him in that photo. Yeah. But Emily tagged him and I was like, fuck it. Well, let's just do it. I also had a lot of conversations with him leading up to it. Like, he was like, you do you. You post and tag whenever you want. I'm fine to like promote that you're my girlfriend.

I'm like, yeah, I know you are. I bet you are. But leading up to it, I think the first couple trips we took at each other, no, the third trip we took, I started soft launching. Yeah. So it was always restaurant based. essentially. We would be, we were like at a diner. We were at Mel's diner on sunset at like breakfast. I just wanted to people to know that we had to sleep over with somebody. A hundred percent. Like,

I love shit like this. I love it. Like mystery and just like. Yeah. I didn't even look it off on it. We took a trip to the Catskills and I had him take a photo of me. I was in the tub and it was from the perspective of him. He was sitting on the bed taking a photo of me in the tub and his feet were socked, his socks, feet with socks on them were in the photos. So like I was like in a hotel the man. I thought that was really sexy. So good. That was such a good one. I was like, oh, she is just soft launching the show? But again, like, is it really a soft launch if they're not tagged? Like, I don't know. I mean, I think everyone has a different story here. Like, I mean, this was years ago at this point, but my, like, more serious X, like, I remember the photo of,

like, we're together. It was great. We were like on a rooftop at sunset in Charleston. Like, that was the trip where we decided we were exclusive, boyfriend, girlfriend. We've been dating for like maybe a month, five weeks, five or six weeks. But up until that, I was using Snapchat at the time. And he was like all over my Snapchat. because I was like, I have way less people that follow me over here. Like, I was just, it felt like a little private place and just, I would document our whole relationship on Snapchat. Like, early on, like, I just didn't care.

And I would post him like, you know, again, like from the back or something like that. And then just went with like the hard launch. But also I cared way less than. Like, people are so much more invest in our lives now. And we take a little bit more care, you know. And especially like, I mean, I'll just, just tell it like it is. Like we're going to, we're dating somebody. We're tagging them.

They're going to get a much of fucking follow. And people are going to be invested in their lives. So I don't need to hand somebody that promo if I don't know what's going to last. Yeah. I mean, I would like to withhold some privacy. You know, I that too. Yeah. I'd like to be a little more.

And that too. I'm like, privacy. Weird. What a concept. I just, they're like, you're like,

you're like, you're like, I'd like to control a little bit of privacy within my relationship. And obviously when things, I don't be a fucking, jerk and be like, I'm just teasing that I'm dating somebody. You guys know what I'm dating somebody.

I just don't need to tag them all the time. I think the reason to not do it that people are in their heads about is like, I'm going to be embarrassed if this ends. And it's like there's nothing embarrassing relationships end all the time. Lots of relationships like fail to launch and they're fun for a couple months and then it's over. And I don't think there's any embarrassment in like having posted somebody. You know, I think it's totally fine. Who cares?

I think that there are, I see people like that are trying to soft launch and so clear that the person is not. The other person is not like, complicit in it. Like, no, I just know who you're, I know people that you're talking about. like the person wants to launch him so bad and you know that they know they can't. Because not the other party would be like, please stop. There's also this, there's this one particular influencer. And like, I have to stop myself because every day she puts her boyfriend on Instagram. She's fashion influencer.

I have never seen someone's partner who hates them so much. And she is just trying so hard. And it's very tired. She's like, babe, babe. And he's like, I fucking hate you. She's a bad person. So I don't put bad saying this. Whatever.

Yeah, I feel like as long as the other person is like co-signing this and they're into it, like my ex always thought that was funny and cool. He didn't care. I would be like, move your hands forward. Like put your hands on this coffee cup. I'm trying to like get some man nails in this photo. That's what the video is of. It's like telling, like moving some maneuvering someone. I mean, I think there's also nothing wrong with being private forever. Like I know like famous people even like famously podcasters that have boyfriends that no one knows who they are. You know what I mean? Like they have tried very hard to keep it private and I totally respect that. And then I think you have a fucking Julia Fox situation where she was like, here's all the details of my first date

with Kanye, give the people what they want. Like, I don't know that I'm a Julia Fox fan. I mean, I love the Joms, but like, I just feel like, I love the job. She had this quote that she was like, who cares? Like, celebrities are not that important. Give people what they want. Here's all the details of my date with Kanye West. You know what I mean? Which I can respect that too. Like, who cares? Like, if you have a different boyfriend to someone on your feet every week, do you? What's going to slut shame you? Who cares? It cares. Seriously. Seriously. But I also get one to be private. And I think a lot of people, like, they wait for the, you know, they're just, they want to go soft because they don't know what's going to happen. They want to go soft. Everyone's like, I'm going to go hard. And everybody else is like, I'm going to go soft. I'm going to go soft. I'm, I think no matter what you do, it's totally fine. I think for me, the next time I probably promote somebody on social media. Like I've said to you before, I would probably fully wait a year. But I'm like an outlier. You know, I want to be a little more private next time around because I didn't, you sign a certain contract with your audience when you start. talking about somebody publicly, then you got to talk about the breakup publicly too.

You don't have to else you don't do anything. Don't do anything you don't want to do. But I felt like I talked about my relationship every week publicly. I felt like I owed it to our audience to talk about the breakup. 100%. So I don't know. And I don't know that that's like fair to say to another person. I have to talk about this this week. I'm breaking up.

You can also have to talk about this this week? That sucks. Can we talk about the king of soft launches, which is Andrew Schultz? We didn't see his wife's face. years till they got married. He's friends with us and I never saw her face. I mean, we never met her. We heard she's wonderful, but

and Andrew Schultz is a comedian and he's been on the show. But I think it was pretty obvious. He wanted to keep her private. You know, we didn't talk to him about it at length, but it was pretty obvious. He wanted to keep her far away or like, you know, neck down or like, he didn't really get up in her face to the point where I felt like I could recognize her on the street till they were literally married.

He was good for her. Literally the wedding. Yeah. And I understand it. Like, I understand feeling like, because she's like a really a private citizen, feeling like my partner did not sign up for this. You know? And Francis used to say that too when he was with Barstool, that he was like, I don't need

people knowing who my girlfriend is. Like, he didn't ever tag her or really post her at all. He had now, his now fiancee until he had left Barstool because he was like, I don't need them in her business, you know? It would worry me that like somebody that I was dating, not that anybody, everybody I date's a nice person, but they would do something that was deemed not nice in our audience would like really go after that. And I don't need somebody to deal with that either.

The guy that I was talking about last week, he doesn't have Instagram, which I feel like when you first hear it, it's like, is that weird? And then like, the more I thought about it, I was like, kind of awesome. Like, how nice, none of y'all are going to slide into his DMs? It stresses me out because, like, I like to know what you're doing all day every day. And if you're not posting stories, how do I know. I just, I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it wonder. And just like that show. No, I couldn't help but think about, like, kind of how nice I feel like it would be to, in general, to date someone that is not on Instagram. A truly, private citizen and someone like, I can post them full face. You don't know who the fuck that is. And you can never get a hold of them. Like, isn't it amazing? Think about it. It's, I just, it sounds amazing. And I know like an influencer that does this. And yeah, you see her man full-faced all the time, body face, expressions, everything. And voice and you have no idea who this person is.

How you need to get in touch with him? No idea. Show up at his work. No idea. I love it. Show at his house. You can't get in touch with him. He's mine. That's my dream. You know what I'm saying? No Instagram. stories perform better than I'm on a trip with somebody I'm dating and I'm trying to put their face in it. Trying to do weird stuff like tongue each other on a boat in front of other people. Well, what you're saying is, yeah, it does perform well. So I do understand that. Yeah. So I think I'm trying to date a private citizen whose name you guys never know and I can put him on my Instagram full face. Right. Okay. All right. Well, we love this and we got some tips from you guys. Again, this is a very like mixed reviews on it. Some people are not about a soft launch and that's fine too. So do you just want to go through a couple of these?

Okay, this girl said just post a pick and said that says, fuck it, hard launch. So Mary Beth Barone did that. Mary Beth, who has been on the show, we love her so much, fantastic comedian. She dates somebody, she dates an actor who was on sex education. What's the show I love? And I don't know if I could tell,

I knew she was dating somebody just from being her friend, but I don't think she'd even alluded to dating anyone. I knew that she was going back and forth from here to the UK. Right. But I didn't, just from being talking to her privately, and then one day he was just on the feed, and I loved it. I love it too. You don't have to warm people up to your relationship. You do you whenever you're ready to do you.

Okay. Only the arm, but make sure he is hot hands. I, listen, it's embarrassing to soft launch somebody with small hands. Have you done it? You've done it. Let me, let me just say, for the record, having small hands just dot me you don't have a big, perfect dick. And I have had a lot of experience with that. Okay. Someone says the Instagram story of two wine glasses out at a restaurant and all you see is their arm. I like that. Also, like, there's always a moment where you can like kind of make someone jealous. and you post two wine glasses and it's you and your girlfriend. You're out of brunch.

I do it all the time. Someone said, I'm done with this. Next pick with a man, you'll see of me will be an engagement post. That's crazy when people do that too. Matthew Hussie. Never even though he was dating somebody. He's like, I'm engaged. I've seen guys do that. The hardest of hard lodges. I saw somebody go even harder than that. Somebody who's been, he's in the public eye and he has been with his now wife for like five or six years and he had never posted her until the wedding. And it wasn't until a month after the wedding. And it wasn't until a month after the wedding, he posted her. Wild. I know. You're seeing more of this.

Okay. Classic hand on the leg. Leg in the picture. Yes, legs are good. Love a leg. Yeah. Okay. And Instagram story with flowers he got you, let the world know without exposing too much. I love a soft launch of just gifts. When you and I interviewed Esther Perel, I came home to a bag of kettle cooked chips

and some flowers that I posted. That was really nice. Oh, so nice. So I did that. This one, I love this. Caption, soft launch, but no worries. Everything else is hard. I love that. Ooh, I like these caption ideas. I know. Because we got soft, we got hard.

We're going to talk about a little bit with Caitlin today too. This one I'd laughed at. It says the arm hair launches out. No one wants it. Do you not want it? Listen, I like these things because we're all fucking doing them. So I like seeing it. I'm a basic bitch.

I'm going to do an arm hair post here and there and I want to see them on my feet as well. Hand, arm hair, a man's like any indication that I'm like a man. If I'm like at the beach with a man, I'm putting his full legs against the beach. I'm doing all of it. Oh, a watch. Yeah. A man's watch. Yeah, I love an arm.

Oh, if he's tall, my favorite is the mirror selfie where his head is cut off. So if you're so much smaller, this is probably not going to work for me because we're going to be the same height. I never can find somebody that much taller than me. This works perfect for me. For you, yeah, if you were like to do a mirror selfie and you cut his head off. I love this idea. He's behind you. Yes, I had this mirror selfie.

I love it. This is my favorite way to launch. Okay. I love that. Both partners need to post around the same time as one another. I do like when two people are like teasing. and launch at the same time. They're co-launching.

They co-launch. I do like it when you just like tag and they're both at it. I love this. If you're trying to figure out where they stand, tag them in the IG story and see if they repost. It's a great litmus test. This just goes back to like how active are they on social media. You know what I mean?

But if they are a person that is reposting all their friends and everybody else that tags them, that could be a good litmus test. There you guys go. Two litmus tests. I have not dealt with this in a long. long time that I, like, tagged somebody that I liked and they didn't repost me. And I would, I guess, yes, I would only judge it via how active that person was on social media. Yeah.

I am thinking about the guy that I briefly dated, he lives in Miami. This was like shortly after I moved here and I knew that it was making my ex crazy. And I knew I wasn't going to date him long term. I just felt like it wasn't there. But I was like going down to see him in Miami. And I went back and forth with him. And we had like kind of a long distance thing for a minute. And my ex was as somebody knew. We were broken up, but he was like getting jealous and he was like reaching out to me. And it made me just post this dude earlier and more. Like I, I think we were on the beach the first time I went to visit him and I posted about it because I knew it was like fucking my ex up and he had fucked me up. And I was just like, I'm going hard, hard launch with this new person. I also don't

care. What's he going to do about it? Also, I just think it's a nice way to make somebody jealous. You just really get in their head and fuck with them because they're like, what is going on? They don't really know. It's even worse, honestly, than knowing. Because like at least, Like if you tag the person, your ex can like click on that person and rip them to shreds. But like, they're like, I don't even know who this is. It could be anybody. Yeah, I am literally just reminded like, I met that guy in a press trip on a work trip. And I'd post him in this like flirty story at the bar in Key West.

And like, my ex called me that night and the three in the morning. I just got done fucking that guy. And I was like, this is crazy. You guys, that was one of the first text messages Ashley ever sent me is talking about this night. That was how we knew our friends. I was like, I fucked this guy in a press trip. And I was like, you rolled over and you. texted me. That's so sweet. Six a. She's up. So many people say fuck us off launch.

To me, I just think it's like a fun way to tease. Like I'm having fun and I'm getting some. To me, it's not like a test in any way. I think that like in all seriousness, if you feel like you have to test a person and like their loyalty to this relationship, maybe that's not so healthy. For sure. I just think it's fun to be like, I'm out here. I'm getting some. I'm having fun. You know? I don't. Again, not that if someone doesn't repost you, they're not into you. Like maybe they're not ready to. I just think if you, if you're, if you're like out of date and you post somebody and then they repost you, that's pretty much like we're dating. So it feels a little less, that's medium. You can ask them if they're your boyfriend. It's a medium, medium, medium. Soft, medium and hard. That's the medium. A mutual repost. I guess I don't care one or the other. It just, I don't know. I can't name what like mistrust looks like. I just know it when I feel it. And if you're not reposting me and I feel like it's because you're trying to hide something, I feel like I genuinely have a good sense of that. Yeah, you know how you feel. Trust your gut. All right. Well, do you feel like we covered it? I feel like we covered it. It's a fun thing to talk about.

Okay. Okay. We are so excited to welcome our guests today. She was a finalist on season 19 of The Bachelor. Honestly, one of my favorite contestants of all the time, ultimately becoming the lead on The Bachelor at the following season. She was the winner of the 2020 Dancing with the Stars. She recently co-hosted two seasons of The Bachelorette with Katie Thurstin and Michelle Young. She is the host of Off the Vine podcast.

She is on tour with Dancing with the Stars. now, please welcome to the show, Caitlin Bristow. Hi. Hi. That's a nice little intro. I'm always like, I always feel like so stupid listening to like, because I'm like, that's me. I did that. I did that. I did that. Well, hopefully you feel hyped up. We are very excited to have you. We just recorded your podcast with you for the second time. The very first time was in Nashville. It was 2018, actually. It was right when we started touring. We had a show at Zanis that night. And so we met you, came on a show. You had wine at like 10 in the morning. I know. We love her. She's amazing. Breakfast of champions. And now you have your own wine line. I know. That's so crazy because when I first started the off the vine, I was like,

obviously I'm going to drink wine for the podcast. That'll be the concept, having wine, hanging with friends, blah, blah. And, you know, it loops people up to confess and tell me embarrassing things. So I'm like, great. And then eventually somebody was like, why don't you have your own wine label? And I was like, dummy. Why don't I have my own wine label? Like, how did I think of that? So, yeah, then I started it. And it's been like my favorite project I've ever done. I mean, how involved are you? Are you going to like the vineyard and are you doing like taste? Like how is it so fun? It's actually so much work. I thought it would be like as simple as putting my name on the, you know, label and being like, it's mine.

But no, it's actually a lot of work. It's like the most hustle I've ever had to do. And I have a team. Like I have my business partners and we all bring something different to the table when it comes to building this brand and everyone is so amazing. But like when it comes to like I'll be on every single call for trying to get my wine in Walmart or Target. Like all that we have a weekly call of like our financials and with distributors and

everything. It's full on. like it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but the most rewarding because I'm so involved in it. And like also so fun at the same time. Because yeah, I went out to Napa. Our grapes are out there. And then I got to like actually come up with the blend, like how much cab I actually wanted in my cab. And like I got to taste and decide and measurements and everything to come up with like my perfect wine is awesome.

A dream. I know. I think you really hit it out of the park. And also when we recorded you at 10 in the morning, I couldn't drink. because I have one glass wine and I slur all day. And we did confessions with you. And I think I confessed to shitting in my pants. Totally sober.

I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I know. I had peed myself and I hooked up with my dad's employee. It was just like the first time I ever shared that story. And it was like, who are you? I totally remember that. I was like, yes, these are the kinds of confessions I live for.

Well, you posted this thing on Instagram the other day and you're like, I love Jason, but I like love that dick more. And I was like, yes, this is the kind of girl. So let's talk about Jason's dick. No, I'm just kidding. But like I, that also like, that got picked up because I was like. And of course the headlines were so clickbait and they were like, Caleb Bristow reveals Jason's dick.

Like in the screen. The caption was so strong. The caption was so strong and I just love you for that because I don't think I've seen someone from like Bachelor Nation that post something that. It's not explicit. I mean, whatever. It was just so funny. Can we talk about it?

It's just shock value humor to me, I know you two are all about, which I love. I just love the shock value. Like, I know my dad follows me. I know my mom follows me. I know that Jason's parents, I'm pretty sure Jason's grandparents follow me on Instagram. And I'm like, yeah, that dick is a real bonus.

Like, they know my sense of humor by now, but I'm telling you, it took a while for Jason's family to get that about me because that's just, that's, I mean, Jason's mom watched The Bachelor. My line out of the limo is like, you can plow on my fucking field. Like I just, that's my, that's just who I am.

And so you can't take it too seriously. I mean, yeah, his dick is a bonus. So I'm not lying. But like, I think I saw that on a mug or something one time. And I was like, ooh, Instagram caption. And I just knew people would be like, whoa. Which was the reaction I wanted. Your dad, listen.

Your dad sees that, but I forgot about his mom seeing that. Jason's mom. Yeah, like your dad has to love you. But like his mom doesn't. So how does she? How does she react? She was like, that's right.

I made that, Jack. Yeah. She said, I'm so proud of my little boy. Big boy. Boy, a little boy. No,

she definitely, she actually commented, my dad liked the photo. And then Jason's mom commented on it and, like, did like a cover your ears thing, which is so funny

because his mom, three years ago would have been like, Jason, I cannot deal with somebody like this. like that is so inappropriate. And now she's like, oh, Caitlin,

like, I love it. I know. It's amazing. They really come a long way with my sense of humor and now appreciate it. And we,

I love his family so much. And I love that I can post that and be like, ah, they get me now. That's so great. I mean, was it you that kind of got him to that place? Like just slowly warm down.

I mean, were they a little more conservative? Yeah. Like the first family trip we went on to Mexico, his mom actually sat me down. And she is just, she's hilarious and witty herself. And she's so fun and just all about having a good time. But she just is, they're more private.

And so what happened was I, I don't want to say I got Jason fired from corporate America, but I didn't help the situation. But I mean, he was wanting to get out on his own anyways and get out of corporate America. So he was trying to find a way. I just kind of like, you know, I got pushed along for him. You just called his boss and quit for him. Well, what I did was. I talked about how the first time I hooked up with Jason, I was on my period.

So we dry humped. And then he like gave me an orgasm. And then I like, he like, I had a booger in my nose. So he picked it for me. And I was like, it was a real like love at first sight moment. And first over the pants orgasm moment. Yeah. OTP.

OTP. And so I was okay with talking about that on my podcast because duh. And it got picked up and Jason's boss called him. I was like, would you like to Google your name? And Jason was like, what? And it had like turned to. to all these headlines of like how Caitlin shares too much information. And like it was the first thing that comes up if you Google Jason's name. Like he gave her an orgasm while she was on her period.

And so good for him. Good for him. Yes. So we turned, we did a little spin zone and we're like, this bank that Jason worked for like he was like, this is run by women. And I was just having consensual dry hub, whatever we want to call that with my girlfriend who is men. which happens to every woman and he was like he kind of spinstoneed it and turn around on them. And so then they gave him a nice little package to leave the company and he got to do what he wants. What is this? This is a crazy story, Caitlin. Holy shit.

I wish every guy that gave me an over the pants orgasm got fired from their job. I wish the promise of the pussy was that good that they were like, I'm out. I mean, I just think it's you and people like you and people like Rada and us are like my favorite type of people that are just so open. Like we're all fucking. we do we not like talking about like every time I kind of like sometimes I'll catch myself. I'm like, did I go too far? Like did I say too much? And I'm like, no, I just had sex. Like I just sucked a dick. Like I don't like who cares? Like we're all doing it. Like just why are we not open about it? And I feel like my family, they've never been like private or anything like that. But they're

even starting to get more like cool with it. And not that I'm trying to hear about like my parents sex life or anything, but like something happened on like the wordal group chat last week that was just funny and like my brother was joking about having sex with his wife and I don't want to cross a line, but like, yeah, I feel like we're all just becoming, especially with someone like you or like us and the family, like you just have to ease up a little bit and I love to hear it. Yeah. My brother and his wife said to me the other day, we were on like a face time and I forgot where they were talking about having sex and I was like, you guys are doing this like right in front of me. They've been together for 10 years. My brother was like, we've been here together for 10 years. We just, we need to fold you into the

mix to keep it going. Like we have, we have nothing left, you know, we've done it all. So we thought maybe you would just watch, you know? I do think that like with with podcasts like this, with me and Ashley and the family and things like that, people are just like a little more open. Like we all have sex. Are we like pretend? It's like when you're like trying to get pregnant and people are like,

so you guys trying and it's like so now it's okay to acknowledge that we have sex. I know. I think that way about like Bachelor World too with like the fantasy suites where it's like if it's not talked about then it's okay. But if you talk about having sex in the fantasy suite, you're slut shamed or like, oh my God, you slept with like this. why do I always want to call Clayton Clayton?

Clayton like sleeping with two women. It's like, oh, God forbid the bachelor sleeps with two women. Who cares? He's trying to make a life-altering decision and that's what the fantasy suites are for. It's also I'm charged up. I'm charged up. Did you see who we cast this whole season?

Everyone is sexy. I would want to fuck the whole cast. Yeah. Absolutely. So we mentioned this a little bit briefly on your show, but you said that Jason didn't used to just be more private as a person, like even family aside. Like, how did that work? And on our episode before we, you joined us, we talked about soft launches and just like being

private with you, you're dating. But was it ever an issue? Yeah, it totally was an issue because Jason like went from getting his education. His family is very much like you get out of school, you get your education, you go work your job. Like, that's what you do in your life. And so for him to go on The Bachelor, it really threw them off because the fact that the cameras had come into their house and they did a hometown.

Like, they're just very private people. So when we started dating. his mom knew who I was and she was kind of like Jason like this girl's a firecracker like, are you sure? You can handle it. And he's like, yeah. And after that article came out, his grandpa was like, you know, getting Google notifications about him and his grandma. And they were just so not used to it that his mom actually sat me down in Mexico on our first family

trip and said, Caitlin, like, can you not involve my family in this? Like I can't have my dad calling me about these messages about Jason. And I just bawled my eyes out. Oh my God, yeah. And she felt so terrible because to her that was like a normal ask, like pretty reasonable ask. And I get that. But I was like, I have built my whole career and brand around being an open book with my sense of humor. Like, this is who I am?

And like, is this not going to work because of this? And I think in that moment she saw like my heart is like my heart is always in the right place. I pride myself on being a good human being. And she just didn't know me to my core well enough yet. And in that moment, she saw how badly I felt. And I think she was like, well, or we can work around it. Like she felt so bad. And it was like from that moment on.

They were like so accepting of who I was. And like I've been so close with them ever since that moment. And so the privacy thing, I think it was hard for them to adjust. But I think they've really, you know, relaxed over that a lot over the past years. And now they embrace it fully. And they're so sweet. But with the privacy thing with Jason and I, when we started dating, of course, everyone thought it was too soon because Sean and I had released this, you know, breakup statement. And it was like, Jason and I were talking.

We weren't hooking up. We weren't dry humping yet. Yeah. We were literally in two different. He was in Seattle and I was in Nashville. I was going through a breakup. We literally talked about finances and he was, I was like trying to help him. I'm like, do you want to build your Instagram?

or do you want to go back to corporate America? Like we were kind of talking as friends because we had met on the podcast. Now, I didn't know that he was fully invested in me and had a crush on me and knew I was going through a breakup, but he was trying to give us like the respect and like space to do so, where I didn't have a crush on him at first. I was just like, wow, like I's so nice and so cute. And so we were going, Sean and I were going through a breakup. But really Sean and I had been going through a breakup for a full year.

Right. So to me it wasn't fast for moving on. It was like, holy crap. That's finally like put out there. into the world that it's done. And just with Jason and I talking every day, it turned into something way quicker than I thought it would. So the privacy thing was tough with like trying to put it out there.

Like I didn't do the whole like you call a soft launch where it was like his legs and me like between them, but just like a picture of his legs. And I'm like, who's the mystery man? Caitlin was like, fuck it. It's all hard everything over here. Hard launch, hard dick. We're kind of see that dick's about. I want to go back to something you said before we like totally belong to

to. really important. And you said that like we had been breaking up for a year. Yeah. Like people might think when you move on right away after a breakup or if you're totally fine after a breakup, quote unquote, you appear to be totally fine. That like you broke up on a Tuesday and Thursday I feel great. Great. Yeah. You know, for most people you have been percolating about this. You've been thinking about it for months. You guys have been having. I mean, adults have discussions about breaking up. Not everybody walks in the door and blind sides to you. You know, adults have been talking about this for a long time. So I'm glad that you said, you know, this has sort of been in the works for a long

time because I didn't wake up and break up with them one day. And then start dating someone new. Yeah. No, it was such a long process. Like I was in Canada and then I went to Italy and I was trying to just like be around my family and friends because I was going through it. And I was the, I think everyone knows this by this point. But like I didn't want that relationship to end. Looking back now, I'm like, how did I not want that to end?

That was awful. But I was trying to process it in that time. And I think within the year and when I finally got home from these places that surrounding myself with people I loved, I was so ready for it to be done. I had accepted it. I had already felt that loss and grieved that relationship already so that when we actually put out that statement,

it had already been done and I had already accepted it. And everything had already moved on. And I was not okay with, like I felt really low and sad. And I had worked so hard on that relationship that I was like, it felt like a failure. But then I was like so empowered also. in it because I was like, I knew it wasn't right. And I had, I don't know, I had just done taking the

right steps in my life to grieve the relationship and to move forward and to be okay with it being over. But people didn't see that process. I was, you know, we were trying to like convince people that, no, we were just like, you know, I was in Canada. And I, I just didn't want to involve people in that story at that time until it was officially over. And then I was like, well, I guess I'll talk about it on my podcast. Yeah. Also, like, even if you did move on what someone, deems to be too quick. Why is it in your business? Like, it's just, you know,

it's like people just project their shit onto you. I clearly didn't care if people thought it was too quick because I didn't hide it. So. Yeah. I have a question. We can move on. I mean, you and Jason have been together for years now.

We're like, tell us about the beginning stages, but I am curious where you said you didn't see him romantically. And he obviously felt a little different. Was there a moment? Yeah. Walk us out of the friend. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was I friend zoned him one because I truly didn't even think

I was going to go into a relationship or like, I was like so totally okay on my own that I was like, I'm going to live a life for a couple of years and be single. And so my mindset just wasn't there. But because we kept talking, I just kept realizing more and more how special this person was. I was like, oh my God, he is so smart and so sweet. And I love his relationship with his family. And like he's just so well spoken and so he's just got such a good head on his shoulders. And he would always talk about his parents' marriage and how they've been together for like 35 and how his dad is to his mom. And I was like, oh my gosh, this guy's incredible.

And I still didn't see it as anything until I remember I used, sometimes I have whiskey baths where I'll just like pour a whiskey and have a bath. Yeah, same. You do? I love it. I get just like a nice glass of whiskey and I sit in the tub and I get like whiskey drunk in the tub. I shut the door.

It's just steamy. I love it. I love it so much. And I was just like in a mood. And I was like, wait, okay. I keep wanting to talk to him. Like, this is crazy. And in that moment, he sent me a photo of a girl who, like, worked for an NHL team.

And I don't know if he thought that was cool or something. And she had, like, a decent amount of followers on Instagram. And he sent it to me. And he was like, this girl, like, really keeps trying with me and wants to, like, go out on a date. Should I go? And in that moment, I was like, no. And, like, it was a trick on his part because he wanted to see how I react. acted. And I was, for him, I love that. It was a good move. And I literally thought in that moment,

I was like, oh, crap, I do not want him to go on a date with this girl. Oh, wait. I guess I have feelings for him. And then I told him, and I sent him like a picture of like me having a whiskey in the bath like covering the right places. And I was like, don't do it. And he was like, oh, my God. I love this origin story. Oh, you ran out of the friend zone. You said a naked, wet photo with whiskey. So I love like a couple things about this. A, that's a great move. And you know, man, woman, whoever could use that move. I think that's great. It's really, I think you'll know immediately.

Like, I think it triggers something in someone if they like you. And if they literally don't at all, they're going to be like, yeah, you should totally go out. Yeah. But I like also that you said you just felt like you wanted to keep talking to him. I think that is such a solid indicator. Like, we always say, if you go on a first day with somebody and it doesn't blow you away, but you're like, I just want to see them again. Like, I don't know if I want to fuck them, but I just want to see them or talk to them again.

I think you should always listen to that voice. Yeah. Oh, it's so true. I have, I feel like all my past relationships, I've had like an almost unhealthy obsession with them where I'm like, I can't be without you. Or I like, like, so attracted to them at the beginning and I like need to impress them. And that is like so not who I am anymore. And I felt like, oh, I don't have this like, I don't want to go jump his bones right away. And then I fell in love with who he was and that made me want to jump his bones.

And then it like, it just started as such a solid. foundation for us that now it's like such a healthy kind of love, which is so new to me. And it's so great. Well, it sounds like you have like you, you, maybe with a people or a person that like sort of brought out this anxious attachment style in you and you found the person that promoted the secure attachment style in you. And so much about adult love to me is that like, wait, I like this person as a person. I like how they speak about their family.

I respect how they are at their job. And I had a situation like that where I met somebody I wasn't necessarily. I was like, I don't see him sexually necessarily. he's handsome, he's a great face. But like, I just think this is the coolest person. And I like just hanging out with him, being around him and hearing what he has to say. And you like, I don't want to say attraction grows.

I'm attracted to. I'm attracted to. But I didn't know that my desire to, like, sleep with this person would necessarily grow. And it did because I was like, this person is the coolest person. Totally. And I would, I feel like that Jason was into me right away.

Like, it didn't take time because who, like, I love feeling desired. And it was like just such a. good feeling to be like, oh, you were already in love with me. Like he called his mom after our podcast. It was like, I'm going to marry her. And I was like, called my friend. And I was like, that guy needs to be the next bachelor.

If you're like, wait to just wait to that whiskey bath. You'll feel some kind of way. Yeah, I love that. Like, that's my turn on that someone that's into me. If you don't like me, I don't like you. Like why? I don't. Yeah.

And he played it so well. Like he was so flirty in not crossing a line kind of way. but like, I don't know, everything he did to go about that situation just worked. Yeah, and we also say, like, you can tell that you're sort of over a person or you don't feel like so many more if they tell you about a date they're going to go on and you have no reaction at all. Or you're like relieved. You're like, good, it'll get him off my dick.

Yeah. You know, like it sounds like he really reversed psychology to do it. I love this. It's a great news back. Yeah. You guys. So I have a question for you. Um, because I, Ashley and I are huge fans of nudes and just like, I'll sexed all day.

I'll phone sex every day. obsessed with it. So when you guys have been long distance, are you still sending nudes? Are you sexting? Are you phoned sexing? What's your, yeah, what's the stress? Like still now while I'm on the road? Yeah, like while you're, long distance. While you're in Colorado Springs at that hotel

with the curing behind you, are you sending him are you taking two curing cups to put him in front of your nipus and send him? Well, now I'm going to do, that's a great idea. I am all about sending nudes because I happen to like, 80% of my life love my body, 20% I'm so hard on myself and have dysmorphia and it's usually around my period.

But I love feeling sexy and sending him pictures like that because he loves it. And he can lie to me all he wants, but he's like, well, I don't need porn if I have that. He's probably watching porn. But like, I'm like, oh yeah, that's like, he doesn't need anything else, but these photos. So I love doing nudie photos.

And I feel like nude photos always turns into like, let's do this. Yeah. Yeah. Or whatever. Do you have a go-to poses? We've done a whole episode about nude. So we just like love to ask people what their go-to poses are.

Oh, what is my pose? Oh, I love, you know, the brand Joa Brown? Love the. So weird. It's just been talking about them. I'm obsessed with their tops. They're so hot. Okay. Same.

So I love to put on a Joe Brown top and have like an underboob moment. and then like just like slightly cover the Vag area but have an underboob and then everything else showing. So I usually do something like that or actually I just love my boobs. So I'll do underboob or just show my boobs. And then sometimes I'll like, I'm trying to explain it. But also it's a podcast. So I'm going to have to like show you and explain at the same time. Like from like the back where you're like a little bent over in your underwear but nothing else on.

And they're like, ooh, what's under there? Yes. The best move, I started doing it recently because I've recently got a breast reduction. So I'm like, how do I, how do incorporate my butt into these photos? So whether or not you've underwear on, maybe your pussy sticks out the back a little bit. But yeah, from behind, just Ash shot with nothing else on. Ashley and I always say like you don't have to be like fully spread evil finger on or finger finger finger. Anything suggestive is so sexy. I love that you said those Joe Brown tops and we're like blow the company up. Anything that's like suggestive of nudity. It doesn't have to be so hardcore. I think it can be even sexier than just like a straight

up nude. I mean, send those two. Wait, do you know what else I love? Which I don't know if actually, this is hilarious. So when I first met Jason, I did not have laser hair removal and I would get such bad ingrown hairs that I would leave like a little tiny strip because it just hurt me too bad and then it felt too rough if I didn't have something there. And he was like because I'm like, I'm like three and a half years older than him. And he asked me, he was like, what, uh, what is with that? Like, is that a thing for your age group? They said, fuck you.

Is the landing script a Grammy, a granny thing? That's what he asked. I was like, oh, shit. Your age group just killed me. And he's like, I guess just like, I don't know, the people that I've, and I'm like, enough. I don't need to hear about the lack of air on your previous hookups. And, but anyways, I've since then got laser hair removal.

And so I'm like a freaking dolphin everywhere. Do you want a nude in return? I was just going to say that. Is Jason sending back anything or just words or like? Or videos. Right now. I love a jerk off video. I actually, too, am not mad at a jerk off video.

I don't really love like a nude sent back from a guy. Well, Jason, let's be specific. Yeah. Because I'm just like, ooh, that doesn't really do anything for me. If it's a video of that, that does something for me. I like a dick outline. Like, I just feel like if you're,

oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're lounging in some sweatpants or joggers and you're hard. Like, sure, I'll take it. But I'm so much more about like, tell me what you want to do to me. Totally. Yeah, that's what it usually turns into. I feel like, because we're, I mean, we're like never in the same city. So this happens a lot.

But it's actually really great. I think, same thing with long distance is like you get to miss each other. And then you're all horned up when you get home. 100%. Yeah. I mean, I've exclusively. long distance for like a couple years at this point. I mean, I've sleep with people in New York, but my last long-term relationship and the guy before that long distance. And I think that the magic

does last a little longer. I mean, I love having like a life setup where I can like go to work all day long and I just like have my thing. I'm fully focused. My head's down. I'm with Ashley or we're touring or traveling. And that like my interaction with my partner at night is just like a long phone call to catch up or sexting or be or having phone sex before bed. Like I love that. I love to Zoom with somebody. I find it really intimate to build a relationship like that. And of course, you build intimacy in person as well. But I think it's really exciting to build intimacy when you can't touch each other one. And it doesn't just end with like sex and falling asleep. You learn so much about the person because you are literally forced to interact only verbally. And I think

there's something really special and intimate about that. I agree. I agree. And like just, I feel like it makes you so much more comfortable when you see them in person. Because a lot of times you'll say things on a text that you wouldn't necessarily say during sex. And then I feel like once you've done that, it gives you permission to do it in the bedroom when you're together. We've gotten to people's really recently saying, like, I'm an experienced or I don't know how to introduce anything a little kinkier in a relationship.

Doing a fee of sex is so perfect because somebody, or we always say I heard this day on this podcast. But saying it in a sex is such a good way to open the door and be like, what do you think about this? So when you're in person, you're like, I already told you about this. Totally. Totally. I totally agree. But I think people get so in their head that they're going to ruin something if they say something wrong. But really, like, I think we all want to be like talked to like that in the bedroom. Like I think I don't think anyone, well, it depends how far you go. But I think all, I think everyone likes a little dirty talk. A hundred percent. I mean, yeah, I think there, of course, some people are just way farther along and their sexual exploration and their kinks or whatever. But I think you can usually feel out where somebody is. Like,

bare minimum stuff, like sexy talk, dirty talk, here's what I want to do to you. Stuff that's like, I guess, on the lower scale of crazy and wild is, who doesn't want it? And if it really is like a huge turnout, you're like, that's just not for me at all. It's like not a match. Right.

Yeah, exactly. Yes. I mean, ultimately, aren't we all a little crazy? And we're just looking for somebody that matches our brand of crazy. And if you can't ultimately be open about those things, then like, what are we doing here? Because aren't we trying to build like a long-term relationship? So shouldn't I be honest at some point about how I feel and the weird stuff about me?

I told somebody last night it was like a weird. It was just a little more open than I normally am. I was like, you look so handsome on your Instagram story. I watched it like a whole bunch of times. And it was weird to me to admit that I just like kept refreshing this Instagram story. But like I thought it was cute and funny. And the person that like somebody that I am attracted to will think that that's funny and not crazy and weird and creepy.

Yeah, totally. I see you saying stuff like that to Jason. I just feel like you guys are obsessed with each other. Like I just, it's nice to. see, like it doesn't feel unbalanced. It feels like both of you are just like totally obsessed with one another in a healthy way. For the most part, but also I don't want to paint a picture of like we're both just so happy and loving and obsessed with each other because we get in arguments and there are times

where I'll literally be like, what am I doing? That's when I'm, I have two to three days of my month where I literally am so irritable. You cannot like even come near me. I am such a hot mess. I get so depressed on my period. It's like next level. And when I'm like that, like Jason's really obviously good about helping me with that.

But also that's when we argue and get in fights and like can't like get on the same page as each other. But I mean, I just think that's a normal relationship too. Well, what do you? Let's talk about it. Because we want to, you know, our listeners were like, let's talk about mental health stuff. You know, when you're kind of going through those darker times. I mean, how does he react? What do you need from him?

How does it work inside the relationship? I mean, it gets dark. It gets dark for me on my period. Like I always say I'm so, like, grateful that I see light at the end of the tunnel because it's only hormonal for me. And I know so many people suffer with that daily. So I have so much empathy for people who struggle with mental health because I experience it once a month or twice a month, whatever. It's awful. And I don't even know how to ask for help from Jason sometimes because I don't think anything could help me.

those times. Like, even him helping might, like, throw me over the edge. So I don't even know what to do sometimes. But what's funny is I, I'm such a freak with my cycle. I have like this app. They should sponsor me because I am invested in it. It's called Myflow. And it literally tells me what like phase I'm in in my period cycle. So like it even told me, look at, let's see my phases. It told me I'm in my Luteal phase, which at the end of that is when I get really dark and twisty. And it'll send him an email about where I'm at in my cycle and how to help me through it. So ways to support me, good gifts to send or things to say to me in that time.

It's so wild. And so he tries and he's so sweet. But like it must be so overwhelming for him because he has like situational anxiety. And sometimes like he'll experience it. But really he's a pretty much overall happy go lucky guy. who's just always very positive. And he thinks it's as easy as like, well, just choose to be happy today. And I'm like, oh, my God, I hate that advice because I'm not going to choose happiness

today. I'm going to choose depression. And I'm going to sit in it. And I'm going to lay in my bed. I'm going to lean in fully to my depression. And I'm going to sob over nothing. And that's okay. So it's hard for him to like grasp the concept of choosing to be depressed if he thinks you can

choose to be happy. But he tries. really hard to be sensitive to it and like try and understand where I'm coming from and say really nice things to me in those times. But sometimes he's just like, okay, this is, now you're being like too much. He's like, I'm trying here. And I'm like, but you're not trying hard enough. But again, it's only two months of every month. Otherwise, it's, it's pretty good. But I'm, I'm like a happy overall person, but in my hormonal luteal phase, if you will, I am, I'm really dark.

I'm really dark. Are you in birth control or like what do you? You're just raw dog like nothing? Raw dog. If I'm ovulating, which obviously I know when I am because I'm so in tune with my body, we'll use a condom, which obviously nobody likes. But otherwise, like I wouldn't be upset if I got pregnant, but I'm not on birth control. I'm on anxiety and depression meds.

which have truly changed my life for whoever believes in, like, you know, if you believe in taking meds or if you don't believe in that and doing more natural things, God, all the power to you. I really truly only need it for when I'm hormonal. So I do want to try and see what happens when I go off of it, but I'm also scared to do that because it really helps. We believe in both. I mean, it's just like, there's no, I think everybody's so different.

And so we're so lucky to have science and medication. But also, you know, some people are like, I am able to get through it with these more natural remedies. It's like, you do you. Yeah. I respect that. We believe in whatever makes you feel good. And your own body is your own journey. And do you, I wouldn't ask you, do you remember, like at the very beginning of the relationship,

having conversations with him? Like, now it seems like he at least sort of like knows you. He knows how you're going to react a little bit. He's like, I've been here before I know how to support her a little bit. Did you have like specific conversations with him in the beginning of the relationship? like this is going to happen, this is what I need from you, or is this always a learning process for three years? I mean, it's still a learning process, but I was so open and upfront in the beginning with him and who I was and what he was getting into and what I was going to get into because I was like, I'm not going to jump into a relationship this quickly if he doesn't like fully know my negotiables, my non-negotiables, my dark times. I want someone to know that about me right up front.

And it helped for me to be on the Bachelor and Bachelor because you just talk about such important things and you're just so upfront about what you want out of marriage. And so like some of our first conversations were some of the deepest conversations we still to this day ever had because I told him I was on medication for depression and that during certain times I will like sob uncontrollably and I will probably make him question like how I feel about him

because I'll be in this dark time and certain things I'll question when five days later I'll be like, what was I thinking? And I told him like, I don't know if I believe in like a marriage because every relationship I've had has failed. My parents' relationship has failed. I get really insecure about like the fact that you could leave me and fall out of love to the point where I could push it there sometimes. And I told him everything. And he told me about his past relationship and what makes him insecure and how I can help in those times. Like we were, it was like the healthiest. Yeah.

Conversation to ever have. We set so many boundaries. And that doesn't always still just, you know, work for us. We still have to go back and revisit conversations we've had in the past. But it helps so much to have those conversations right up front. Yeah. If you see somebody long term, like just lay it all in the table. I mean, that's like top level raw vulnerability.

Yeah. But if you think that's your partner, like, why? I would you not be like, this is it and this is me. And this is like the deep. I mean, I was part of me. I was 33 and I was like, if we're going to do this, like you have to know and love every part of me. And it was really intimidating to because he doesn't really suffer from mental health issues. And he has this really healthy family he comes from.

His parents are still so in love. And he's got this like vision of life as like, he's like, I had a great childhood. And my parents are happy. And I got my education. now I'm doing what I love to do and like, everything's great. And I'm like, well, here's my drama. And I've done some like really deep diving with therapy. And this is, you know, things that set me off.

And he was kind of like, oh, okay, so there's a lot. You have to unpack. And I'm like, you don't have a lot to unpack. Damn it. Well, I think it's really beautiful that he wanted to learn how to support you better and that you committed to teaching him how to learn to support you better. because I'm sort of on the other end of the spectrum, too. I'm a pretty happy person who will suffer from a super amount of anxiety,

healthy amounts of anxiety, but I come from a nice family day to day. I'm fine. I dated a partner who grew up with a lot of trauma. And I think a lot of the arguments or fights or ways that he felt was obviously informed by that trauma. And I think that maybe sometimes we didn't spend enough time teaching each other how to get through those times. And in retrospect, I think I was always really kind,

but I think it's always just important to recognize that not everybody has the same background as you and that the way that they're reacting comes from trauma or their own experiences and trying to understand that. And to have a partner that will explain those things to you is really nice and supportive, I think. Yeah, I'm like, there's, I've had so many relationships where I tried to be like the tough guy

that I was like, I don't get like that and I don't know. And at the beginning, I'm all like, you know, putting up a front and then eventually people are going to get to know you. Yeah. when I went on The Bachelor of Bachelor and I was like, God, I just got to be like myself. Otherwise, like, I'm not going to have any longevity in like a business, a relationship, like anything that I want to do. And I think I found myself getting rewarded for that, like not just financially, but like emotionally

rewarded for just being true to myself and being up front. And then that's what entering this relationship, I was like, well, it's only benefited me in the past. And if I want to have this long term relationship with this person, like, He has to know everything. And if it's going to scare him away, then like, fuck that guy anyways. Right. Yeah.

And you had a nice place, a nice starting point knowing he already was into you. Totally. Yeah. That was nice. Yeah. Okay. Should we do a couple? Is this weird?

Yeah. So, Caitlin, you said something when we were recording. You're a podcast that jogged our memory from the original email that started this segment we do called Is This Weird? Yes. Okay. You said Jason likes a morning bath. And the.

We got this DM so many years ago. The way she wrote it was so funny, I was trying to find it, but it was literally like three years ago. But I can remember it pretty clearly. And she said that I'm dating this guy that takes a morning bath and they were new. And she said, he's literally in the bath with a half chub while I'm doing my mascara. Is this weird? And so we just were like, is a morning bath weird? Also, like, nothing's weird.

We don't want to like shame anybody for their lifestyle or their kinks or anything. But let's talk about Jason's morning bathing routine. And his morning talk. I would like, yes. So you can, I mean, I'm, you know, I never want to yuck someone's yum. But morning baths to me are weird because a bath to me is a wind down time. Like it's something to relax and like get like ready for bed or something.

And like it's soothing. It doesn't like get me started on my day and like get me all like, you know, energized for the day. So I do think it's weird. He also can. admit that it's kind of weird, but he also admits that he loves it. It's so crazy. Because like, what kind of time do you have? Also, we've been relaxing. We've been relaxing the last eight hours. It's bow time. Right. Like you wake up and you're like, I'm going to get down again. I'm going to horizontal again. It's shower, get wet, and get out time. It's not going down and relax

some more. We've been doing this. And he will stay in there for a solid hour doing emails and having coffee. What is his life? Getting pruning in a bag. He literally has one of those things. like the table back, like it goes across so you can put your laptop on and have your coffee. Oh, he is a full setup. Did you buy it for him or did he buy it? His mom bought it for him. He is what does it get, it starts to get cold though. Like the bath doesn't stay hot. Like does he drain it and refill it? Maybe. I'm still sleeping when he's doing it. I'm literally still sleeping when he's having his bath.

He wakes up early and I'm a sleeper in her. And so I'm like, I don't do your thing. I don't know. He's doing business work in the back. He has an entire desk set up in the bath. Let me tell you, Jason is always doing business. It doesn't matter if he is in the bath on the toilet, in his office, at the gym, at the spa. Like, he is working somehow. It's insane. You seem like that too, though.

You got a lot going on. Well, I actually really pride myself on having balance. Like, I will let myself sleep in. I will let myself have like a mental day and take it off. Like, if I'm at the spa or the gym, I try and like just be in the moment. but I also, when I do work, I work really hard. Yeah, I love that. I think I've tried, at least in the last year,

trying to get better at telling people I need that. And just not going to plans because I don't need to go to plans. I don't feel like it. I'm not going to want to have four plans in five nights. And just feeling like I don't have shame in saying to something. I just sort of need to relax and have my own time. Because Ashley and I work really hard. When I'm working.

Yeah. You guys work so hard. Yeah, you need to be fully transparent with. people because you'll be a better friend, business partner, everything, if you take those days and take that time. Like, I tell Jason sometimes, like, dude, take a mental day. Like, just, but he's like, he gets like crazy if he's not working. I'm like, I can fully enjoy it. But yeah, some people are just wired differently. Jason's like, I have no depression or anxiety and I'm fine and I can handle it all. And it's never because of my mass. I know. Maybe that's the secret to his happiness.

I don't know. We want, two or email. Where are they? I just stardom. They both are just like butt related. I don't know. It's like, why not do a theme? You know? This one is titled but cheek sex. Okay. She says, hi, Rayne and Ashley. I think I have ultimate story for you guys. So she's 18. She's in college in Minneapolis.

And she lost her virginity in November. And now has been testing the waters, maybe with the morning bath. However, when I met a guy at the bar last night, things took a turn. I bring him back to my dorm in her loft in bed. Oh, God. And get busy. Except when I tell this man how to finger me three. times he still was going at nothing. However, when he finally puts it in, it's in between my butt

cheeks. And when I tell him, I don't think it's in. He moves it and says, I'm in now. She says, babe, you're most certainly not. Like, wouldn't you know if you were in my vagina? But Lord, these cheeks made him finish. Obviously, this could be a take, this could take a turn or is this weird. Those are two of our segments. But I feel like you guys are my role models. And this would make you laugh. Oh my God. That's amazing. That's so, that is so funny. Wait. So he was like, like, here were the butt cheeks and he was like slapping it in there. So I have experienced this, but the guy, he knew what he was doing and he was like a born again virgin and he rubbed his dick between my butt cheeks and came on my back and then he told me he was a born again virgin, but he knew what

he was doing. This guy seems like he just didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously it felt good for him, but like how drunk was he that he did not know he was inside of her. I don't know how tight her buttcheeks. I mean, good for her. Was she clenching? I mean, you know how those 19 year old booties are? They're just like, high and she's been squat and waiting for this moment her whole life. I also like that she was like, I tried to tell him how to finger me three times. It's like, oh my God.

How did you? Okay, you know what you're going to do at that point is just take somebody's hand and put it where you want it. I mean, it just sounds like somebody who's really an experience, which in college, obviously, like, who isn't? And the first time you, a couple times you have a sexual experience, somebody, it's always weird. you don't know their bodies. You don't know how to like move.

Yeah, I was going to be really hard on this person. Be like, how the fuck are you not knowing what you're doing after she's told you three times? And then you can't find the hole. And then I'm like, oh, they're 18. Yeah. And they're in a lofted bed. Like, you don't know which way you're up. But I still.

It's a little frustrating to be like to want to be penetrated and you're like, you're not in. And he's like, I'm in. And you're like, you're in between my body cheeks. You're literally not even near it. And I've explained this to you three times how to get inside of there. All right. Well, next time, just take his hand and shove it up your coach.

And you guys will be fingering on your way. Well, Caitlin, you, so you mentioned this like period dry hump situation. So are you guys, are you like period sexy now? Are you still not a period sex? I don't like, I don't like period sex. It doesn't do anything. So it's your dark time of the much. It's my dark time.

I don't want to be, I don't want to be touched. I don't, I'm not turned on. I don't like it's I'm not into it but a week after when I'm ovulating I'm like let's go um but no period sex to me I'm not again if I wish I liked it I've heard that people like love it and that that's when they're the most turned on but I take it as like my me time where I'm like I am releasing things that are supposed to be released and I don't want to be touched and it's like my me time yeah yeah I'm going to just be here crying do not try to dry hum me it happened once and that yes yes it happened once, but it was in the honeymoon phase.

So the dopamine was blowing. Yeah, now I love you. I got the ring. I don't have to have period sex to do anymore. I will say I do not mind period sex at all. I mean, it depends on the partner. I probably not having period sex is a brand new person. But as long as it's not, I mean, I don't get really heavy periods. It's not as long as one of the days.

If I'm not like heavy eating everywhere and you know, you don't really taste me out of it. You can smell the blood. I'm not into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. Otherwise, I don't care. I'll fuck up some sheets.

I'll fuck up a whole hotel room. Okay, but I also, I don't know if this is going to make me weird. I hate getting fingered. I love it when somebody, well, sometimes listen, it depends on the moment. I mean, I love when somebody rubs my clit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Just, I mean, just fully fingering me.

Nobody, I feel like we've done men a disservice by calling it fingering because we've misnamed the act. Like, men grow up thinking they're just supposed to like ram a finger in you. bang. And some people like that. Nobody wants finger banging. I'll take a finger when someone's going down on me. I'll take a finger for that.

Oh, sure, sure. I'll also take a finger when I am blowing somebody. If you can somehow maneuver that. Oh, yeah, no. I like an initial, like, if you want to just get up in there and be like, tell me how wet I am. But then it's like, we're not going to be, it's like, it seems to be.

I guess it's the finger banging that like, I think I was traumatized by like my first time where he was probably too young to know what to do. And he was literally banging and it hurt. And I was like, don't ever do that to me again. And I felt violated. So now I have like a bad image of it. And I'm like, nah. Bad taste in your vagina. Yeah. We got for me. Finger bangs. It's not for. No. Okay. We've one more. It's kind of funny because it goes in with her like the whack situation. Do you want to read it? You read it? You read it. Actually, read it better than I do. Okay. So she says, I went on a hinge date this past Friday night with a guy for the first time. After drinking a lot of wine,

we went back to his apartment and started hooking up. He started fingering me. This is so on brand. And then immediately went for my butthole. I normally don't like guys who I just meet. Put a finger in my butt, but I was drunk and I do like butt stuff. So I was like, oh, well, whatever. Anyway, after a couple minutes, he stopped and asked me, do you not shave your butthole? Side note, I had no intentions of hooking up with him.

So I had not shaved prior to the date. I told him that and he immediately asked if he could pay for me to go and get a Brazilian wax. He insisted and would not stop asking if he could pay for it and when he could make the appointment for me. And then he proceeded to ask if we could shower together so he could shave my butthole because it would turn him on. Oh. Weird.

So much is happening. Okay. The thing that I think is weird is like shaming a woman to the point that you're like, I'll make the appointment for you. Can you go do this? I'll pay for it. No. Anything else.

I mean, whatever. You can shave my butthole in the shower if you really want to, I guess. It's very intimate to me for like a first couple encounters. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I'm trying to think about this one. Okay, so first of all, I am, oh, God, I'm so vanilla.

I'm like, no, I don't like butt stuff. I don't like fingering. I don't, I don't mind a little butt stuff if it's not going in. Yeah, I don't, I don't know, like, women typically don't have really hairy buttholes. Like, he must have like a thing. He just hates it. He was triggered in some way. As someone who had a lot of shower sex last week, Ashley, what would you have done if he said, can you,

this is like first couple encounters with the person. Would you let him shave your butthole? I mean, I don't. I don't have it. I'm never going to have like a hairy but hole. Like I keep it clean. But like, I just think if he was like, this is, this would really, this would really turn me on. Can I shave your butthole? I'd be like, yeah, that's hilarious. And this is great content for my standup. But I also would be like, do you, do you, have you done this before? Are you adept with the razor? Because it was really. I just, I just don't want him like, chop. I don't want him like, I think I'd be like,

have you shaved a bottle before? Are you, are you adept? You asked for a job? You should ask. You should ask him to shave his own first so you can see his technique and see if he is trustworthy with a razor around his butt holes. I'm so dead. Would you have gotten on your knees and shaved his butt hole? No. But also for that girl, I'm like, she's basically painting it as the weirdest picture. So I think it's weird because of how she's explaining it.

So I'm like, yeah, that's weird. If he's going to pay for you to go get your butthole wax on the first date, like, we don't want. Yeah. I'm not here. I don't want to hear anything about my body, how I'm dressed. No. Nothing.

Honestly, really ever from somebody that I'm dating, but certainly not in the beginning when I don't know you. And I don't know if this is a joke or not. Yeah, I'm like, are you kidding or are you serious? Because if you're serious, stop shaming me and my body hair. I didn't even know I was going to hook up with you. Yeah. Can I make you an appointment I hate?

And I probably would let him get in there. Well, thank you so much for sharing with us. I love talking to you, ladies. It's so fun. Well, we, I already miss you. I don't want to get off the phone, but I know. Come to New York and then tell people everywhere they can find you, your podcast, where they can come see the Dancing with the Stars Tour.

Oh, my gosh. Yes, I only have nine shows left on the Dancing with the Stars Tour. I can't believe I've been doing this since January 3rd. It's been an absolute dream. I love dancing. It, like, makes me so happy. So DWTSTour.com is where you can see if we're coming. We're heading out to California soon.

And then also my wine is Spade and Sparrow. You can follow it on Instagram at Spaden Spad. So we do like really funny, inappropriate wine humor. I love it. That's great. And Spade and Spadenspros.com for wine. And then my podcast is off the vine. Comes out Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I also have an apparel and scrunchy brand called DoEdit. At Doot. Everyone thinks it's do-Dut, but that's fine too. Everything that I do, I end up loving the community that it's built over anything. It's so fun. And I'm just at Caitlin Bristow and everything else. Well, we are so happy to have you part of our community and be a part of yours and we just love you so much. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you so much for having me. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com for everything. New merch is live and get those Toronto tickets via our website. Follow us at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram. I am Ash Hess. Raina is Raina.combe. Girls underscore Gotta eat on Twitter. And we will see you next week. That's it, guys. Have a good week. Bye.