Girls Gotta Eat - STDs, IUDs, and UTIs, Oh My! feat. Sex Educator Kendall McKenzie

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

We brought in a brilliant sex educator Kendall McKenzie to discuss all those "embarrassing" sex and body topics including STDs (everything from symptoms to how to tell your partner), birth control methods and periods, UTIs and other vaginal infections, queefing, penis sizes, and more. We also catch up on dating apps and introduce a new conversation starter. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast and check our website for LIVE SHOW dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: ThirdLove: Go to ThirdLove.com/gge to find your perfect fitting bra, and get 15% off your first order. Ritual: Visit ritual.com/gge to start your ritual today. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And a lot of people are uneducated about STEs through no fault of their own. There's just a lot of myths and misconceptions out there. So, like, be prepared for your partner to come out of you with some bullshit and, like, have answers to their questions and, like, ways to bust myths. Like, they may have heard all, you know, all kinds of only, only sluts get this. Not true. Anybody who's ever kissed anyone can get hurt. Welcome back to another episode of Girls' Daddy Eat. Welcome back. Happy March.

It's always that first sentence that's the hardest. I'm like, where is this going to go? What are we doing? Yeah. Just wanted to give you guys an update on tickets for live shows. First of all, last week was the first time we ever did this, but live shows are very different than the actual podcast. Yeah.

They're like a real experience. Yeah. And we, yeah, we talked a little bit more about this, and we have some such fun stuff in store. We're developing some new segments. Yeah. We're really going to embarrass each other on stage. Oh, my God.

Which I think is the best part. Like, the best moments of like what I say something or you say something that we didn't think we were going to reveal is the best part. It's so embarrassing. We revealed who you slept with. We did. We got it. That was by accident.

Yes. Like it happened Boston night one. And again, I don't want to harp too much on tour. We gave you guys like 20 minutes of it last week. But yeah, I, Raina, you accidentally said who you've slept with as far as the guests that we've had on the podcast. I mean, I lost my mind. I'd like leave the stage. So then we just said it at every other show.

So those are the kind of things you guys get to hear. But anyway, still tickets. available in, well, again, Tampa's done. Tampa's sold out. Philly is sold out. We got a couple left in Austin, a couple left in Dallas and Miami. Yeah, maybe Dallas is really close. Again, Austin, it's the second show that we added.

Tampa's done, but Miami's still available, Tampa. Drive on down. Drive to Miami, aren't you going to be in Miami? Boka, Boka, where you at, Boka? Boka where you at? All the old people, aren't they? Well, also, I'm Jewish. I spent a lot of summers in Boca with my family.

Winters. I wintered in Boca with my family. So if you're wintering with your family in Boca, come down to visit us. You don't want to be with them. Well, this is a perfect transition for Miami. Oh, no, before that, we are releasing more tickets to another. We're announcing a very exciting show that we are doing in a couple weeks. We're going to announce that next week.

Yeah. Well, the show is more than a couple weeks. We're announcing next week. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Next week, big announcement. Big announcement.

I'm excited. Back to Miami. Okay. Back to Miami. I just got back. I spent five and a half glorious days in Miami. I go every year this week. You came with me last year.

I did. Right after we started the podcast, we'd had one episode under our belts and we went to Miami. And we were like in Miami for the podcast. Like kidding. People were like, what the fuck? If you guys remember, I met, we did two episodes about the same guy. I met some guy there that I really liked.

We were like, oh, he's so honest and amazing. In this second episode, we found he had a girlfriend they lived with. We were like, fuck this guy. Remember, what did I say? Oh, what did the word I used? I said, I adore him. I adore him. And I was like, and his honesty.

Honesty. So if you guys don't know what we're talking about, those are episodes two and three. Yeah. Where it was like episode, maybe three and four, whatever. Two and three and four where we literally go off about how much we love this guy and his honesty. And he's such a piece of show. shit liar. Really took a turn there.

That took a turn. I adore him. Well, anyways, this is the weekend that I go to Miami every year this week, the third week in February for the South Beach One in Food Festival. It's the biggest festival in the country for food. And because of One Hungry Jew, I do like a media thing down there. It's really fun. I go with all my friends.

Ashley didn't come this year, but everybody asked about her where she was. Well, the reason I didn't go is because I'm going to Miami tomorrow. So I'm going to Miami for like a girl. strip thing, like literally a week later, so that's why I didn't go. I would have flew home today so we could record. I told you I'd bring the equipment. It's fine. Miami's like Vegas. Like you can't be there longer than four days. You die. I'm not, I can have a chill vacation in Miami. You cannot. Like, I don't even hear from you. I'm like, is she alive? The longest we didn't talk. And then it's like Monday, I hear from her. She's at the airport.

I'm like, she's alive. The episode day always brings us back together. But you really go hard. It's the hardest five days. of my life. I come back with the shakes every year. Yeah. But I didn't tell you about this. This was very funny. So I was at this restaurant that I like a lot. It's called bodega. Well, the rest, yes, it's a club and a restaurant. It's a Mexican restaurant in the front. And while I was there. And a more fan. And a club, if you guys are ever in my age. Tocos and dancing. Yes.

Walk at at 4 a.m. Get tacos. But I was there in the afternoon. I've never seen it with the daylight. But two different guys I put on my Instagram story that day. I was like, I love you. I love you. Like both of them were just like, It was almost like a tall Ken doll. He was like a six-foot-four Ken doll. And the other one was like this fucking hot Latin man. It was like six-four with like black, flowy hair.

He, oh my God. I'll tell you his name later. It was so beautiful. I know his name because both of them saw themselves on my Instagram story. This guy's like, a friend of mine from New York sent me this. It never failed. Never failed within like one. Within like one hour, they had both DM me.

And then to the Latin one and I have been talking. What? Yeah. Oh, my God. He was like, have you ever been to put it? to Kana, I was like, why do you ask? You're like, you can Punta my Kana. Any day, I'll show you.

He's the hottest man I've ever seen my life. Puntana sounds so sexual to me. I was just like... Like, as a place. Yes. I mean, it just sounds like a place you just go to fuck. Yeah. Like, I don't know what else you're going to do there. Yeah. I mean, probably go to the beach, but like, also fuck. Anyways, we've been talking. So I thought that was really funny that both of them saw themselves on my Instagram.

Okay. In an hour. That's not funny. It's not surprising. It's not shocking at all. It's always happened. It'd be shocking if they didn't. Such a creep. But it happens every single time. Last year we were Miami. We put those guys on your story.

And then I literally, I swear they were like looking at it. We looked at them across the pool. They were like laughing and looking at something in their phone. We're like, that's what it is. Well, I've gotten away from... It happens so quick. It's so crazy.

Like, it is really crazy. You have a lot of followers. But you don't have like Kardashian followers. You know what I mean? Like half the world doesn't follow you. No. More people should follow me. If you're listening to this podcast, you should follow me and Ashley.

I'm so glad you haven't done that in a while. I haven't gotten away from doing it because I was like, I don't know, I liked this guy for a while and I was like, maybe I'll stop being a creep for a little bit. But then I was like, you know what? Fuck it. This is me. And if you love me, you're going to love all of me. Even the fucking creepside of it.

This is me. The greatest show of it. I'm trying to follow me around and narrate my life with song. This is me. All right. So I survived. I'm fine. I'm back.

But while I was away, you got accepted into something very important to both of us. Super Secret Academy. It sounds like this is some fucking Harry Potter shit. No, I got into Raya, the dating app. So crazy. Their standards have lowered, obviously. And I want to talk about this.

How do you apply and how long does it take it get in? So another process. Okay, Raya also, if anybody doesn't know, which is so weird because it's your name minus one letter. So even seeing the word, writing the word, It's just so weird because I obviously like talk to you every day and write your name a million times a day. So it's like kind of weird. So Raya, R-A is what I'm saying.

This is this dating app that is like supposed to be for celebrities. It's like it is the highest tier I think of like it was made for celebrities and famous people so they don't like have to, you know, be with the masses on like hinge or bumble or whatever. So it started super duper exclusive and it was like by referral only. You had to have no like three people that were on it. And now. and I think I applied like years ago maybe I didn't even fully finish the application

I can't really remember and I think now it's gotten a little bit easier but you just apply you put in your Instagram handle you connect it to your social account so they look at all your stuff and then they do ask for people that you know that are on it

it pulled up my contacts and I had more than three people that were on it like Nikki Glazer was on it I mean she mentioned it before a couple other people Chris DeStefano mentioned in our episode that he used to do it We only have famous people on this podcast.

Yeah, Mateo, like, remember, Mateo mentioned it too. He said he just emailed them. He was like, hey, girl. So I had a bunch of friends on it. I just, like, clicked the boxes. And then, like, with it, it says, like, we're reviewing your application. It's so fucking cheesy.

And then, like, a few days later, they were, like, you've been accepted. I like, who the fuck are they? Sit around, like, a boardroom and they, like, put your application on the table and people vote. Like, who are they? And they got anointed as God. Also, you have to pay.

Like, it's not, yeah, it's like, six bucks a month. Oh, I didn't know you paid for this. expensive. Yeah. So I actually, I was texting about it because I was jokingly texting with Chris DiStefano about it. And I was like, wait, do I just have to pay or do the really, is this free for the really famous people? And he was like, no, do I have to have? Yes. And he was like, no, everybody pays. Immediately, Raina, immediately on Raya. I'm five minutes in on Raya looking at people. I get in trouble for taking screenshots. So you can't take screenshots. Because they're like so house, you can't take photos. So the first person I saw that I went to screenshot.

just also like I screenshot everything my whole phone has receipts so like yeah me too the first time I did I think it was just I thought it was funny the first person I'm not going to get in trouble for this was Justin Long you know that is Justin Long he's an actor yeah he was on it and I saw like Hannibal Burris so I was like oh my god all these fancy people so literally it keeps a tally of your screenshots you will get kicked off oh it is like Soho House no for real like it said holy shit the first screenshot I took it was like whoa whoa you can't do this number one, strike one. And then I was like, okay, fuck, fuck, I take so many screenshots of everything. Second screenshot, number two. I'm like up to three. I don't know. I have no idea. I think it's like

if you really consistently keep doing it, they'll kick you off. So that was funny. Also just so, just so if anybody cares about how this works, the profile is not really, it's only your pictures. You can have like a ton. And it's your name, your Instagram handle, your age, where you live, where you're from. And then it's just there's no really bio. So I can't. tell if people are funny. I can't tell if they're tall. Because it's like go to their Wikipedia page. Go to their Instagram handle. And then it's just like you pick a song and it plays with a slideshow of your pictures.

Okay. What song do you pick? Nice for what? And I'm like, every girl's going to be out here with nice for what. No, everybody on that app takes themselves so seriously. Every guy LCD sound system. I'm like, nobody on Raya is funny or I don't know how tall they are, but all I know is that they like LCD sound system. I like texted this. I texted this to Nikki and Glazer and she was like, that is the most accurate thing I've ever heard. I'm like, nobody's funny, everybody loves LCD sound system. All the people that I'm like, I found one guy with like a biggie song.

Because if your song, I think that like really defines you. Yeah. You've chosen some like super LCD sounds like no. No, like not even mainstream. Like you're trying to be edgy. I'm not even saying, not necessarily LCD sound system, but like a lot. And I've just said that name of that band a million fucking times. But what very like artsy weird songs.

I'm like we're probably not going to vibe. Right. I'm out here like with Drake. as I should be. Also, like, I'm sorry, you guys are so creative and you're these professionals

in the art, entertainments world. Like, why would you not pick a song that goes with a slideshow? Can't you make a custom song? Don't you want a hype video? Shouldn't you have like a custom song

if you're famous? Shouldn't somebody have just written you a song? I should have R theme music as my song. No, you just like from iTunes. But, well, I was just curious because I know music's such a big part of your life

and so I was like, I know that you know. Mine is fire. It's all my best pictures set to nice for what? Yeah, yes. And then it's just, I'm like, everybody else, it's funny. I think it's a lot of people that take themselves very seriously. I don't know. I think next week you're going to be dating Justin Long and I'm just going to be out here like dating the muggles. Justin Long is 5'3. I know it. He's got to be like the smallest person. I know. And I just want to be like big dick energy though. He does. Huge dick energy. He's got like 90s hair. I'm here for it. I'm here for it. Well, Justin Long, if you're listening, I'll fuck you. And then on Hinge, I just want to say this one thing. Obviously everybody was like going crazy over. Stars born on the Oscar. and I love Starsborn. I don't need to tell anybody that.

And so I tweeted and then I put it on my Instagram too that like I'm going to just start starting every dating app combo with tell me something boy like from the song. That's how the song is said, tell me something boy. And so I did it. And then all these girls started doing it. And I just need to read one.

Because my like reason for that was like if you don't know what I'm talking about, you probably don't get me. Because like that's why I don't get you. So I don't want you. You don't get me at all. This girl sent it. And she did it. And this guy did not get it.

But she just kept doing it. Okay, read me the time. She starts with, tell me something, boy. He goes, yes, ma'am, go ahead. She goes, aren't you tired trying to fill that void? And he goes, it gets exhausting at times by persevere. She writes, or do you need more? She's clearly rhyming every other.

Well, I guess that depends on what you're offering. She goes, ain't it hard trying to keep it so hardcore? And he goes, hardcore is not a term. I would use to describe myself. Is this about how I could take you down in ping pong? Is that the source of the hostility? He thinks she's being hostile. She goes, I'm falling.

Like in the song, it's like, I'm falling. And he goes, well, Lord have mercy, let me help you back up. She goes, in all the good times, I find myself longing. And he's like still going. I don't know how he hasn't picked up on the fact that nobody that isn't from the 18th century doesn't speak like that. He goes, L.O.L. Help me out here. What are you longing for? And she goes, for change.

And in the bad times, I fear myself. Well, let's see if we can change things up a bit. You don't seem so scary to me. And she goes, I'm off the deep end. Watch his side. Point jump standard is like, am I talking to a computer? Like, what is this? Also, she rhymed the first four lines.

This is the best thing. The best. Okay, also, I'm not going to give out of full handle, but I just think I need to give her credit. Her name is Adriana. if her friends are listening to this, I just want to give her a shout out. Like, I'm not going to give out all personal information to her last name, but Adriana, you're a queen.

I love that it ended with, I'm of the demon. Like that stuff, because that's like the precipice of the song. That guy. That's, I just love that he, like, stayed for the whole conversation.

He's, like, responding to each line as if it's a real conversation. At no point does he stop and be like, this bitch is insane. She's, like, speaking in tongues. This is, like, 17th century English. Like,

What is this? He's like, he's like, you know, I'm just trying to fill the void. You know, whatever works. Like, nobody talks like this. Who rhymes every other line? Aren't you trying to keep it so hardcore? He's like, I don't know if I'd consider myself hardcore. Good question.

What are you longing for? I'm dead. I, okay, I challenge our listeners. This is a very funny game. Anybody that's on a dating app, pick a song and do this with a guy today. It's so. And please send us your screenshots. It's so, so, so good.

We can do a new segment about this. I, yes, I love this. She committed. I love her. Adriana. We love you. Love you. Also really quick, Rada. We don't need, we're not going to give the details. We got an email that is the best email I've, we've ever seen. What's her name? Someone has a conspiracy theory. Carly. But she signed it like, hit me back just to chat. No, no, she signed it like the Eminem song. This is your biggest fan. This is Stan.

Yeah. Hit me back just to chat. The end of that song. Oh, that's the end of the song. Oh, she really went full stand. She is a conspiracy theory about something. We're not going to get into this. Her email, I didn't, I fully didn't read. I'm not going to lie to you. I skimmed it yesterday. I was dying laughing.

But last night in bed, I read it in full. I was convulsing. I was on plain. She based, it's a conspiracy theory about me and this guy. And she like really went through both of our Instagrams and like, she, what did she say? The smoking gun. She's trying to like figure out what happened with me and this dude. And it is, Carly, I love you.

The smoking gun was that Radon followed him. From Girls Got to Eat, too. Carly, I love you. I did not realize hit me back just to chat is from Stan. Oh, yeah. And then truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan, aka Carly. You guys think this is as funny as I do. But, okay, also, one time someone sent me a very funny, like,

Girls Got to Eat Conspiracy Theory. We love this shit. And like, I'm not, don't send them or do, but we got such a kick out of this. So if you have a GGE conspiracy, feel free to send it to us because we loved this. She, like, did her research. This is a very long email. She did it at work clearly.

It's like a 6 p.m. Monday night email. Carly and Adriana, MVP's of the intro. I know. I love you guys. Thanks, guys. We love your emails. I wish I could, I do. I wish we could answer all the emails because it's so wonderful.

Except for the hate ones. We answer those, too. The hate ones fuel me. I just want to shell it to any. If you guys ever get to fight with somebody from girls got to eat it's Ashley. Also, like, if you think you send a hate email to us, and it's going to bring us down. I can't describe to you how much that fuels our fire

and makes us even better. So I fully can't tell you like how much I get off on it. Right. I feel like we get them and I'm like, okay, is this a valid concern? Is this something we should think about? Is this something we should address? Well, there's also a difference.

It's literally like you're ugly and stupid and have no talent as opposed to like, hey, this is some constructive criticism. Right. Like those emails that are like, you're terrible and ugly, People didn't sell your looks. Like, those are the most miserable people.

Right. They are so jealous of you. Oh, you're going to sell my looks? Like, what kind of sick person wakes up in racing? Somebody, like, wrote this email and she was like, really, remember that DM? It was like, really directed at me about how ugly I was and my eyebrows. Also, if anybody does microblading.

Well, I've been looking for a microblatist. That's it. We've got a really good episode today. You guys been asking for a really long time for an episode about STDs, um, sexually transmitted diseases if you don't what that stands for. And contraceptives. Or save the dates for weddings. Spring wedding, spring wedding episode.

I love when you tell people like when my friends get engaged. I'm like, when are you going to send me your STD? People say that? No, I think it's funny. That's really funny. That's very funny. Your STD. When should I expect the STD?

I literally, I feel like I've never thought of that before. Wow. All right. Read a joke about that. That was funny. Happy wedding season. Happy STD season. We'll do a May episode.

How about STD season? Like it's SZN, like season. It's like allergy season, S2D season. We wanted to do this for a long time. You guys have a lot of questions about contraceptives. Yeah. And especially like things like herpes a lot. And birth control.

A lot about UTIs, big dicks. Big Dix. As a constant frequent UTI getter, lots to say. So let me introduce you guys to our guest. I, every week I'm excited. Ashley's excited. You've been so excited about this. one though. Well, we're trying to get her here for months. We've been asked for last year since

November. Yeah, we've been asked to do this episode a lot by a lot of people. We were trying to find the perfect person to talk about STDs and contraceptives and all kinds of body stuff that you're sometimes, you know, you don't know how to ask those questions and you're nervous. I heard this woman speak at a panel and I just knew immediately this is our person that's going to talk about this. So we have in the studio today, someone who is a sex educator. She's a longtime sex educator. She started with a sex show, a sex talk show at Chapman University. And now in her adult life, she is a health-based sex educator who has worked for Planned Parenthood and Babe Land.

And I'm going to let her give you all of her other amazing qualifications. But Kendall McKenzie, welcome to the house studio. Hi. Welcome to the house, too. We're so glad to have you on the couch. Okay, so you're not a doctor. Let's just get that out of the way. I'm not a nurse.

I am not a medical professional. I'm a sex educator who has just been deep, immersed in this subject for at least 15 years now. What have you done for 15 years? Man, it's run the gamut. I've done a lot of writing. So I've written for places like Refinery 29. I've done a lot of podcasting stuff. I did podcasts with glamour. That was really fun. I taught sex ed to 11 to 13 year olds in New York City for a couple years. I taught an HIV prevention program, which was really great experience. Those kids were so smart and so funny. And I really love doing in-person sex ed. I've worked for a lot of different sex

shops, including Babe Land, where I've done plenty of pleasure-based education, help people pick out sex toys, learn more about their bodies, and how to have fun and pleasurable sex. That's amazing. Yeah. Thanks. Cool. All right. Well, we asked you guys to submit your questions.

So we sourced a lot of questions from you guys about your bodies. What do you want to know from a sex educator? So thank you guys for all of your questions. And we're going to knock off. And what we want to know, too. I mean, obviously, that's what I want to know. Yeah. This is helpful for you.

us too. All right. So I want to kick it off. I want to start talking about STDs. Yes. Yay. And this is. Yeah. That's where we're going to kind of break it down in a couple different categories, STDs, sex stuff, birds control stuff, all this stuff you guys want to know. So yeah, I think the biggest question for people that we will get to is like there's this huge stigma around talking about STDs with a partner and just closing that you have it and asking somebody if they have it. And so I think those are really scary conversations that I want to talk about having because I don't know how to ask somebody those questions. Right.

And then, I mean, do you know stats on what percentage of the population have STDs? Well, it depends. There's a million. Yeah, because it differs depending on the STD. But I think it's safe to say that most sexually active people at some point in their life will get an STD at some point. Okay. Another point I really want to hammer home is that most of the time, STDs don't show symptoms.

most people who have STDs don't know they have them. Right. So that's why testing is really important. And that's why these conversations are really important. And that's why, you know, you can't, it's really important to kind of not play the blame game with a partner if someone does test positive for an STD or during these conversations because, again,

oftentimes people don't know they have them. And it's so, so common. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. STDs are infections like any other infection. We don't call people irresponsible, hussies for getting the flu or a cold and even though you know maybe they didn't wash their hands or maybe they engaged in quote unquote irresponsible behavior but there's not that stigma attached to those kinds of infections right because they're not spread through sex so the only thing that

differentiates STDs from other types of infections is that they're attached to sex and that's why they're so stigmatized and that's really unfortunate because it doesn't really say anything about you as a person oh for sure I love that you said that can we like run through the STDs All of them. Because I have to say this. Sure. I told a friend the other day that I mentioned chlamydia, gonorrhea. I don't know if syphilis is still a thing or that's like the 1800s.

Actually, syphilis is on the rise lately. I mean, we have really. Is that an STD? It is an STD. I think that was something that you got like in 1800. It's like the flu. It's an STD. It's not as common as chlamydia and gonorrhea.

But it's actually, it's more on the rise. It's a hot one right now. It's a hot one right now. Unfortunately, our country has gutted a lot of programs that help people take care of their sexual health and clinics are being closed. Like, I just know these from my education. You know, like, it's funny that people don't know this stuff. Well, it's not, I mean, yes, the education can be a problem, but also like literal clinics where places where people can go get tested and treat different STDs are, you know, being closed down because funding is being cut because of our current administration and things like that. So there are pockets, there's places

in the countries where people are experiencing a rise. and STDs that, you're right, we previously thought we're kind of almost gone. Like syphilis hasn't really been a huge public health problem in a long time. And now it's creeping back in because we don't have the resources like clinics and education to help people prevent it. So, and those three, like they are curable. Yes. Right. Like just is it kind of easy antibiotic situation like getting any, like a getting strap or something?

Yeah, totally. But yeah, they are definitely curable. They're bacterial infections. So they're curable with antibiotics. for the most part, sometimes, you know, if something becomes bacterially resistant or, you know, there's a rare problem, it might be, you might need a few rounds of medication or it might be harder to cure. Also, if people don't take all of their medication or don't follow the doctor's orders, if you do end up with a bacterial STD and you get antibiotics, it's really important that you take all of them,

even if the symptoms go away before you finish the medication. Yes, thank you for saying that. Yes. People are like, it's gone. And like, no, finish the fucking pack. You have to finish all of it because the infection can still be in your body. also, if your partners aren't also getting treated and they have the infection, you guys can pass it back and forth to each other. Or you swap it, yeah.

Right, which is why if you do end up with an STI or an STD, you need to talk to your partner and you guys both need to get tested and treated. And are those, I don't know why I thought this question. Left untreated, can those like kill you? They can cause long term probably can cause like infertility is a big one. Okay, gotcha. So don't take them lightly. Right, right. Get tested.

Right. They are no big deal if you find out that you have them and you get treated. If they're left untreated for a very long time, they can cause like pelvic inflammatory infections and things that could have impact your fertility. I do believe syphilis can lead to insanity. Yeah, like mental stuff. Right, yeah. Like get into long, long term.

Makes you crazy. So let me ask you a question. We'll jump around a bit. But like, how often should you get tested and like is it after every sexual partner? Is it when you're with the same partner should you get? tested because you could pass like how often are people going to get these tests it really differs person to person obviously i think they say kind of in general one to two times a year is is kind of a good baseline it's definitely a good idea to get tested um if you start having sex with a new partner

especially if you're talking about not using condoms um that's really important right um yeah so and you know especially if one of your partners says that they have an STD or they come back and tell you that they have an STD you should go get tested so anytime you believe you're at risk. Anytime you want to stop using condoms with a partner and, you know, at your yearly exam, and we should all be going to the doctor at least once a year anyway for exam. So, and that's actually a great, another thing I wanted to bring up. When you go to your yearly gynecologist visit, oftentimes you have to request an STD panel. They might not be just automatically testing you. Right. And I'm like, yeah, all of it. Like, why would I not? I'm here. I'm here. My pants are off.

Because a pass here is not. Give me the buffet. Right. They do, they do, they take blood, obviously. But I'm like, the whole panel. Yeah. Why would I not get this? Your doctor should ask you questions about your sex life and you should answer honestly. They should not be judging you. They should be asking you these questions to determine what tests are necessary for you, the type, you know, who you have sex with, how often you have sex,

whether or not you use protection. And then hopefully they will give you the tests that are recommended. But I do recommend asking your doctor, like, are you giving me STD test? What are you testing me for? This is what I want to be tested for. And here's why. Because a lot of people assume that a PAP smear is an STD test. It's testing for cervical cell changes.

It's not testing for STDs. They've got to do other tests. Good. And there's specific tests also. Like I want to touch on HPV because I think that that's really what flares up for a lot of people, a lot of women. I always got tested for HPV but not for other things for years, I think. And you do have to ask for all those different. Yeah.

I'm glad you said that. Someone messaged and I think we'll just go down the line. And obviously we want to really get into the herpes discussion. But HPV, I mean, we got a DM that said, like, I got an irregular pap and I'm freaking out. And we do, we have a lot of younger listeners. And, you know, I think Rain and I, we're all three in our 30s. But, I mean, when you're 20 and you get 20s and you get this irregular pap or you get something, you just, you freak out. And you're like, I have AIDS.

I'm going to die. Right. You just get so dramatic. You get HPV and you're like, I have cancer. And I can't have sex anymore. And I just kind of like, you know, when I hear you, you were saying some stuff before we started recording about HPV that was interesting. and I didn't know about.

Sure. So, go for it. Yeah, right. HPV, first of all, there are like over a hundred different strains of HPV. Right. Only, you know. Look out. They're everywhere.

But in HPV, I mean, anytime you get like a word on your finger, that's HPV. So some strains cause like warts on other parts of your body. Some strains of HPV cause genital warts. Some strains of HPV can lead to certain types of cancers. A huge myth I want to clear up is genital warts is not the same thing as cancer. Like, if you have, that sounds obvious, but it's not because people find out that genital warts is a type of HPV and they think it means that those warts are going to lead to cancer or that those warts are tumor.

That is not the case. Genital warts are mostly harmless. You know, you can choose to get them removed or talk to your doctor about removal methods, but a lot of times sometimes they clear up on their own and they really don't cause any other health problems except for, you know, maybe being annoying. Okay. So that's important to know. getting an irregular pap is really, really common. It definitely does not mean that you have cervical cancer.

What a pap snare or a pap test is doing is detecting any changes in your cervical cells. And they're trying to catch those changes before they could lead to cancer. So the next step after you get an irregular pap, your doctor will usually do a closer examination of those cells. They might do a tiny biopsy to make sure those cells are not pre-cancerous. You know, if they are, then they'll discuss different kinds of treatment. but cervical cancer takes a long time to develop. So that's, I mean, that's why it's important to get your PAPS according to the schedule that your doctor recommends.

I think they actually just change the requirements to every three years. Every three? Depending on your history. Yeah. You can look it up. I remember when it went from every year to every other year. Right. I guess if it's always, so for me, my personal experience is that my PAPS meers were always

irregular every single year. Oh, really? Four years in a row. They told me I could have HPVAs, basically. they suggested a cone biopsy and a coloscopy. Colposcopy. Where I was put under general anesthesia and knocked out. And basically they said that the test for this is also the, like,

they'll take it out completely. Like they'll test to see if you have it, but it'll also wipe it out no matter what. I don't remember what. Anyways, I was in the hospital and I don't remember what the surgery was that I got. Something. Well, that's what I mean, that's it. The doctors are for.

They tell you what to do. Like, they were like, do you want this garter cell shot? I'm like, why not? Sure. Oh, yeah. Everyone should get the HPV vaccine if they can. Now it's been approved for way past the age of that it used to be. It used to be only approved.

It's recommended to be given to people around age 12. And that's the other thing about the HPV vaccine is people kind of freak out about it, especially parents because they think. Because, yeah, and they're like, well, this is an STD. Like, my kid's not sexually active yet. Right. The point of the vaccine is to be active in your... That's what the vaccine is.

Right. Is to prevent... Like, we got vaccines when we were babies. Right. And also your kid is going to fuck. So get used to it. Eventually. Eventually. I mean, eventually, most likely your child will become sexually active at some point in their life in the future. And just the research is shown the vaccine is more effective if it's got time to kind of, you know, build up in your body before a person becomes sexually active. But someone who's already sexually active or, you know, past the age of 12 can still get the HPV vaccine if they haven't had it. You can talk with your doctor about that too. But it is a safe way to prevent most of the strains of HPV that cause cervical, that lead to cervical cancer and other types of cancer. throat cancers, penile cancers, anal cancer, like all these genital cancers, essentially.

And this is something that, and again, I don't know if there's a set answer for this, but I think a lot, so many women have HPV or some strain of it. I don't know, the stats, two out of three, one out of three. I mean, it's a ton. Do you feel like you need to tell your partner, your male partner, as a woman, if you have HPV? I mean, I always encourage discussions about STDs. I do like HPV is one of those things that's really hard to nail down.

It's really hard to figure out where you got it because it can be in your body for a long time before you even know you have it or before it causes anything that can be, you know, detected. It can kind of come and go. It can show up on tests and then go away. Your body can kind of clear it on its own. A lot of times when people have HPV, they have it and then their body just kind of clears it on its own and it goes away. And so, I mean, that's one of those things I might actually, you know, if you test positive for HPV or you find out you have some, you know, strain of it. I would talk with your doctor about whether or not you think this is the type of thing

you should disclose to partners because, you know, they might say, well, it's not showing up on tests anymore. So, you know, what's the point? And then men, they don't know at all, right? There is no. Right now there's no test. So there's not like a, so, no, but it is recommended that boys get the vaccine too. They didn't use to. Yeah. Now the HPV vaccine is. Well, they can get it right. Yeah, they can definitely get it and pass them. And it can also cause, you know, we're seeing more and more cases of men with types of cancers that they think are being caused by HPV. So, you know, and again, like, we're hoping that eventually HPV can be eradicated with the vaccine. Like, that's the idea is that if we...

So if you feel like some guy gave you HPV, it's like he didn't know that he had HPV. Like, there's no way for God to know that he has it, right? Yeah, and it's really no way. There's really no way to know who you got it to. Yeah. I mean, you don't even have to have, like, penis and vagina intercourse to get HPV. HPV is one of those... Ooh, interesting. HPV is one of those STDs that's transmitted skin to skin. Airborne.

It's like basically you breathe on someone. It's a Russian roulette. But it's really, again, I don't, you know, because there's always going to be someone, you know, there's definitely people, you know, HPV can cause cancer in some people. And there are definitely people who have had, you know, who've died from illnesses related to HPV. So I don't want to say it's no big deal or anything. But the fact of the matter is with early detection and with things like the HPV vaccine, you know,

the rates of cervical cancer and cancers caused by HPV are going down. And it's not as dangerous as it used to be. Okay. We know more about early detection and things like that. But it's also why, yeah, you stay on top of your yearly exams, you know, follow your doctor's instructions. And, you know, like you said, yeah, like they may test you more often if you've had a history of it.

Right. But if you haven't, then they, you know, might not test you as often. Right. And I like that you said that, like, just because you got an irregular pap doesn't mean that something's crazy and you could get a regular pap the next time. I've had two regular paps. I had a copposcopy a couple of times. And now, like, the last six years of my life,

my pap's been regular. So, yeah, yeah, I like this. It's coming. Yeah, it's... It just has to do, like, a white blood cell count, right? Like, that's why mine were... That's what my doctor told me is that, like, my... My stuff was a regular because of a white blood cell count.

It didn't mean at HPVA. Again, you're not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. I know I'm Jewish, so people just assume that I'm a doctor, but... Or my end, like, I wrap everything up by saying, talk to your doctor. Right. You know, if you're worried, you have questions,

talk with your doctor, that is the person that you should be getting your medical advice from. Right. The internet is great, but we are not doctors. Okay, the thing that I really want to talk about, like the STD, I think that is the most frightening to people, and I think you said you want to like debunk this and talk about it, is herpes because I think that, you know,

that is other than, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, other than HIV, it is one of the only things it is not curable today. Correct. Correct. Okay. So the H's, HIV, HPV, and herpes are the... Okay. Oh, that's a good way to remember. Fun little anecdotes.

Anything to begin to an age, girls. So, yeah, I think it's pretty frightening to people. And, you know, can you transmit it if you don't have an outbreak, things like that? So, like, how do you, how do you begin the conversation about herpes? Let's just full-blown. Herpes Education Hour starts now. I love talking about herpes. Yeah, because, again, like you said, it's one of the things that freaks people out the most.

And it's also, I'm just going to say it, it's not that big a deal. I love that you said that. It really fucking isn't. Okay. Okay. So, where do we start? All right. Well, are there a bunch of different strains of this, too?

Well, there's two. Are some a bigger deal than others, I guess, when it comes to sex? So, yeah, and then people get really confused about this, too. So when we're talking about herpes in this case, we're talking about there's two strange. Herpes simplex virus one and herpes simplex virus two, HHSV-1, HSV-2. HSV-1 usually infects the mouth. That is usually oral herpes and cold sores. like that.

HSV-2 usually infects genitals, but not always. Both of these strains can infect the other parts of the body. So when we talk about like oral herpes, we're actually talking about the location of it on your body. So it's whatever strain you have, it doesn't matter. If it's in your mouth, that would be oral. If it's on your genitals, it would be, you know, general herpes.

Okay. The strains are a little different too. We're like HSV-1, the type that's usually on the mouth, that usually causes cold sores, is not, it tends to be a little milder than HSV-2. HSV-2 can actually cause some, like, flu-like symptoms and some, like, illness, like, some, like, swollen glands, like, flu-like, not feeling well, like, can actually feel pretty sick during the first outbreak or so.

But usually those outbreaks become way less severe over time, and oftentimes you might not have outbreaks after a while. Like, some people only have one outbreak and then never have an outbreak again. A lot of people who have herpes never have an outbreak. or the outbreak they have is so mild, they don't notice it. So most people who have herpes don't know they have it. So I'm so, yeah, I didn't realize there was a, like a severity level of outbreaks. Like I touched on an outbreak.

Outbreak is a scary word to me. Of course. And I should clarify too. What an outbreak means is just that sores appear. Right. So if, you know, on your lips or are you? Right. On your lips or on your genitals.

Right. And again, like, depending on how the virus reacts in your body and what type of virus you have, you know, you could have flu-like symptoms as well along with that. But usually, for most people, people, the first outbreak is the most severe, the sores are the most painful or the more of them. In the introductory period of herpes. Mm-hmm. All right. Getting to know you. And then, you know,

might last longest. And then, you know, people find that the outbreaks become shorter and less severe over time. And again, some people stop having them all together. There are some people who kind of constantly have outbreaks and they would be a good candidate for medication that can help them. I was just going to ask you that. Right. Is everybody, this is probably the stupidest question? Is everybody that has herpes typically medicated? No. No. No. No. No. Most people don't. Yeah, yeah.

Most people are not. Okay. But if you, you know, like, I know a ton of people who have herpes, right? And it just, it acts differently in everybody's body. Like some people get outbreaks every couple years. I know one person who had one outbreak and then never had an outbreak again the rest of their life. I know someone who has outbreaks frequently and has to be on medication. When they're on medication, they don't have it.

But they do have to take that medication daily. Right. But I think that my view of herpes is like in health class, you saw those videos and those photos. Right. Like the terrifying ones in health class in high school. And that's my view of herpes. Yes, let's talk about that. Like, sores on your clit.

Like, I don't know. It's like a cauliflower growing out of your vagina. Right. So I'm scarred for life. There's a reason that good sex educators don't use scary pictures anymore to talk about STDs. Absolutely. Okay. First of all, those pictures are usually the most severe cases that are not the way STDs normally look or behave.

Sure. And, you know, all the research says that, like, fear and shame does not stop. people from having sex or does not compel people to have safe sex. It just freaks me out. It's the same as drug education. They're going to show you the people that overdose and they're in an alley. You know what I mean? Like just so you won't smoke weed. Like when you didn't dare, they're like, you're going to dive

from heroin overdose. You're like, I just want to smoke weed. Like it's not, the terror, the scare tactics. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. And they don't work because people never think that's going to happen to them anyway. And like, it's just, it's not effective. But also again, like I said, the other reason it's a really bad idea is, most of the time, STDs don't show symptoms. So if you show people a bunch of scary pictures of what your body's going to look like if you get an STD, they're going to think that anyone who doesn't look like that

doesn't have an STD, which is not necessarily true. Someone's genitals, someone's junk can look totally normal and they can have an STD because they don't necessarily know it. So, yeah, I mean, so if you just, if you're looking at someone's junk and just because they don't have sores doesn't mean that they don't have herpes. Right. And then I think this is probably my main question, and I guess, you know, I could have Googled it, but can you, is it, are herpes? And maybe there's myths surrounding this too. Are herpes only transmittable when someone's having an outbreak? No. No. No. There's not. There's a, there's a period called shedding where you might not have any sores, but the virus is still transmittable. But again, it's like, it really, the virus acts different

in everybody's bodies. Like some people who have herpes have never really given it to anybody else because their body doesn't shed that much. Some people who, you know, have herpes are way more likely to give it other people. You're way more likely to transmit it when you do have an outbreak, but it's not always. So if you go to, if you, like, are about to hook up with somebody without a condom and you get down there with, like, your iPhone flashlight, and you're like, I'm just inspecting. Like, they could still have herpes that they could give you. Yeah.

That's not true. Which, it sucks because when I say all this, that tends to really scare. People are like, oh, my God, you're telling me everybody has herpes and they don't know they have it. And that just, what I'm trying to say is that it's not that big a deal. Well, like, right, so let's just. And herpes, again, it doesn't cause any serious health problems. It doesn't lead to death. It's really not.

I love that you're saying. It's a skin condition. It's like acne. It's like eczema. Yeah, it's literally just a skin condition. And it's been around for a long time and it actually didn't use to be that big a deal. It's like, it was around like 70s, 80s kind of after the free love movement that like when we really started doing this like fear-based STD stuff that like, you know, they

herpes became this huge, scary cultural monster. It doesn't sound that bad. Maybe we should all just get herpes. Just pass it. What a sound bike. Well, almost everybody has oral herpes anyway. Well, okay, I was going to ask you that. If somebody with Simplex 1, is that what she said?

Is that what you got Simplex? Is that a word? No, no, that's the correct word. Okay. But again, both, yeah, both strains can kind of impact anywhere. A guy with that goes down on you, can you get it from that? Yes. And would you get this, the one?

or can you get the two? You would get the one. Okay. So. These are weird questions. I know people want to know. They're not weird. I date a guy that had herpes S-1 or whatever.

Then he was self-conscious about it. And like every six months he would have like a cold sore and he would not want to kiss me and he would just really kind of embarrassed about it. And so yeah, I've dealt with that. And again, I didn't think it was a big deal. I'd be like, let's make out. And he'd be like, actually stop it. But I'm like, what if he went down on me?

Would that have been a bad idea? I mean, if someone has an active herpes sore on their mouth, I would not recommend that they perform oral sex on you. So a Simplex 1 or any kind of cold sore or herpes on your mouth, no matter what strain it is can be transmitted, you know, to the genitals. Right. Okay. And actually, I think they're seeing more and more cases of this happening because so many people have HSV-1, have cold sores, have oral herpes. And we're, you know, seeing increased cases of HSV-1, oral herpes being spread to the genitals. Is there anything, any relation at all to, like, fertility or child birth at all? If you do have genital herpes, you'll want to talk to your doctor about that. If you're pregnant, they just want to make sure that you're not having an outbreak when you

birth. Because that can be dangerous. If a baby does get herpes from the canal, then that can be dangerous. But it can be managed with your doctor as long as, you know, they know that you have it. Cool. Okay, so you have herpes. It's not scary. Like, it's not that terrifying, but you have a partner and you don't know how to discuss it

with them, how on earth do you broach this topic? That's a tough one. I think that's probably the most scary thing. It's telling a person. Of course. Yeah. I mean, immediately, I feel like a woman or a man, again, finds out they have this. And that's this panic of like, I'm never, you know, my sex life is going to be super

impacted. That's like across the board, the question we're trying to answer for. Totally. Well, for the listeners. First of all, again, remember that so many people have herpes. So there are, like, honestly, you're. honestly, your partner might have it too. Like, consider that possibility that you might disclose to someone.

They're like, oh, my God, I have it too. I was waiting to tell you also. Oh, that's like a soulmate moment. Wouldn't that be crazy? Well, there's also dating sites for people that have herpes and things like that. What are they called? I think positive singles is one. Positive singles.

That's cute. There is, yeah. I think you can Google it. I mean, there's probably a dating site for every, I mean, there's, there's, there's definitely be one. But you don't only have to date. You don't only have to contain people with herpes. There's a Trump supporter of stay inside.

Ew, why. You didn't know this? Well, I guess it's better. They need to be together. Get them. And then there was the guy who was the, what is this called? Trump singles, I think. And it was the guy, of course.

Sounds like a cheese company. Fun fact that the guy that was in the promo shot on the homepage of the website from all the promotions was this guy that of course was a sex offender. Like who they found out that he had been. I'm like, this makes sense. This is very funny. All right. I don't know about this.

I want to talk about how you broach this topic with a partner because it's a scary thing. How you talk to a partner about having herpes or any STD. So the first thing I would recommend again, and this is just kind of more shame and stigma busting, like you're not alone. People getting an STD, finding out you have an STD having to have this conversation can make you feel really lonely and like you're the only person dealing with. You are definitely not. Right. So it's important to remember.

No matter what the reaction is, you're not a bad person. you're not dirty, like don't let anybody make you feel that way. But also remember that like your partner hopefully really likes you. And so, you know, this sort of thing hopefully won't be a deal breaker and that, you know, they should actually be really thankful that you're telling them because you're doing the right thing. And it's a really like intimate, kind, loving thing to disclose this sort of thing to somebody. So if they start to get salty, maybe remind them of that, that this can be a difficult conversation to have and that you're doing this for their own good and that you really like them and you're telling them this so that you guys can have a healthy

relationship based on honesty and trust, right? So, and you know, another thing that I think is really good is just come armed with a lot of information because people are so, are so, I mean. Yeah, their mind goes in like a weird place. Yeah, and a lot of people are uneducated about us to use through no fault of their own. There's just a lot of mis and misconceptions out there. So, like, be prepared for your partner to come out you with some bullshit and like have answers to their questions and like ways to bus myths. Like they may have heard all, you know, all kinds of only, only sluts get this. Not true.

Anybody who's ever kissed anyone can get herpes. Well, you're like, I got it from somebody else. Right. I mean, I mean, and it's just, again, STDs are a very common normal part of the human experience. So, you know, these are just things that people deal with. And, you know, it doesn't say anything about who you've slept with or, you know, who you are, your moral character.

It's just, it can happen to anybody. I think it's also really good to kind of be prepared to talk about treatment, especially if, you know, you think you may have given them an STD. Like, it can help to kind of come into this conversation with like a plan in place. Like, okay, well, I've already made an appointment for us to go get tested together. Or sometimes especially if it's an STD like chlamydia or gonorrhea, your doctor might actually give you medicine to just give your partner without having them have to go get tested. So boom, then it's just taken care of right there. So if you kind of have an action plan in place, that can be really helpful. and if it's something like herpes where it's not curable

and it's something you're going to have to manage throughout your relationship, talk about the ways that you have managed this with partners in the past and how it really doesn't have to impact your life or your relationship at all. And then also, again, like really avoid kind of playing the blame game or letting the conversation devolve into like who gave this to who or where did you get it. Because as we've talked about before, it's really difficult to know. To track it, right. To pinpoint where you got it.

It doesn't necessarily mean someone cheated. You can have these infections in your body for a long time before symptoms show up and before they show up on a test. So that's a really, you know, key thing to remember. If you have herpes, like, what are the chances your partner will get it? I mean, can you, does condoms help? Like, do things like, like, I think the fear in somebody is like, well, now I'm going to get this too. Right.

Of course. Right. So is that the case or do you just no way to really? I mean, again, it varies person to person, but there really is no way to know for sure if you will or will not transmit it to somebody else. But I mean, I think people, especially as they, you know, as time goes by, people have a sense of like,

well, I've had herpes for this long. I've disclosed it to all my partners. None of my partners have ever told me they've had an outbreak. So like, it's safe to say that I'm probably not very contagious or, you know, always trying to use condoms or you can both go to your doctor and talk. If the person is really concerned, you can talk about taking medication that can, you know, help prevent the spread of herpes and prevent outbreaks.

But it's one of those things that it's just really difficult to, because everyone's body is different and everyone's, everyone's herpes is different. Like it just reacts differently in everybody's body. And especially I think if someone's disclosing that they have genital herpes and for some reason, genital herpes is, I mean, not for some reason we know why. It's way more stigmatized than oral herpes. It's because it's genitals. and like we live in a sex negative culture

that really stigmatizes genitals in sex but oftentimes you can ask a person have you ever had a cold sore and if they're like yeah and we're like well you have herpes too. Thank you and the kind. I'm so glad you said this and like I remember just thinking back to the guy that I dated

that like sat me down to tell me this and I was like okay all right what I mean I don't it's a cold sore everybody I know is cold sores I don't really get them but we'll just not make out when you have this I don't I just it didn't even affect me.

Well, like, cold stores on your ding-dong. It's not, it's- Right. So I think that people don't freak out about colds or so. Right. And people don't freak out about coldsors. And I just think it's this thing of, you know, asking your partner, like asking yourself, like, why is this so different in my head?

Like, you're right. It's just this sexual stigma. So, oh, and I wanted to bring this up in terms of herpes. Most of the time, like a normal panel of STD testing does not include testing for herpes. Really? Why would that be? And I'll explain why. because herpes is not that big of a deal.

And most people have it. And so most people have Simplex 1. A lot of people have Simplex 2. And also the test is a little finicky. Like oftentimes there'll be false positives and people get like totally freaked out. So doctors don't really feel a need to test unless it's like causing problems in your body. So if you come in and present with like sores or you say you're, you know, you're having certain symptoms and they might test you and there is a blood test for herpes. But I've heard from a lot of like medical professionals that people will come in and they say, well, I'm not having sores.

but I want to get a herpes blood test anyway just to like make sure I don't have it. And a lot of times doctors won't want to do that because if it's not causing you any problems, it doesn't. And what's the issue? I love that you really cleared it up because I really, no pun intended, but I think that in my head, I was like, oh, if you have herpes, you need to be on these medications that we see commercials for and whatnot.

And that's not the case. It sounds like most people probably aren't. I don't know the staff and you are and you aren't. But like, again, I mean, it's like you talk to your doctor. If you're having outbreaks all the time or it's causing problems or, you know, you're worried about. Transminate to your partner, you can always talk to your doctor about getting on suppressive therapy, which would be those medications.

But a lot of people who have herpes, especially oral herpes, are not, you know, having to have to take medication for it every day. But I think the best advice in the world to, like, stigmatize the conversation is like, just have some facts. Yeah. Just be ready to, like, explain why this isn't a big deal and, like, what the next steps are. One in six people, I think is the stat right now, has genital herpes. So if this person has slept with more than six people, they've likely slept with someone

else before he's had it. I've gotten herpes like 80 times at this point. You can be like, well, you know what? I'm the only one that's actually telling you. So I deserve a pat on the back for that. Right, sure. Right. Right.

Okay, but here's my real concern, and I think this is probably what like your average person thinks about is like if I get herpes, which is, you know, one of the scarier ones, I think, you know, is my sex. Just because it's uncurable, right? Yeah, that's why it scares me, just because like, you know, long,

and it sort of sounds like it is very manageable. But I think your average person is scared of it. I'm scared of it like a normal average person. Is my sex life over? And I think that that's like what your average person is thinking, like, is my life over? Can I sleep with people? Right. And I think we want to address this because I love everything that Kendall has said in terms of like it's not that big a deal in terms of your health.

You know what I mean? So many people have it and it is so common. And if you have a cold story of herpes, like all these things. I love all the thing that she is like hammered home. But I think the question on everybody's mind is if you're listening to this and you have herpes is like, or you have contracted it or whatever, it's like, nobody's going to want to sleep with me. And my sex life is just, you know, it's over and this sucks. And like, I'm not normal anymore.

And I am dreading what this means for my sex life. So do you know what you would say? I don't know what I would say. I mean, I don't think it's not over for sure. You know, I think a lot of the stuff that Kendall has said is super important about just like, A, arming yourself with facts is the number one thing. Like know all these things. and like number one is not going to affect your health long term.

And I think a lot of people just have a lot of misconceptions about it. So I think the number one thing is like arming yourself with facts. But my thing is like, yeah, some people might not want to sleep with you. They might not. But to me, you know, I'm always in any thing that happens in my life, I think that you have to look at like why this happened and can you find the silver lining. And to me it's like, yeah, like it might be a hindrance to your sex life. but I think think of it as an advantage to your relationship life.

You know, and if you tell somebody this and they don't want to sleep with you and you've given them all the facts and you know, and they still don't want to, then that person probably just wanted to have sex with you anyway. And I will be completely honest from my standpoint. I mean, I'm one person. I am a woman in my, a single woman in my 30s. I'm not a man. I can't speak from the standpoint of a man.

Someone came to me and it was somebody that was really interested in. I saw a future with and they told me that they had herpes. Like, I would process that. and I would think it over, but I'm pretty certain it wouldn't stop me from sleeping with them and pursuing a relationship with them. On the flip side, I don't know.

Second, third date with a guy and he tells me his herpes, I'm going to be completely honest with here. I don't know that I would sleep with them. If it's just a guy that I don't really see a future with, I don't know if I'm putting myself at risk to contract something to have for the rest of my life with somebody that I'm not interested in long term.

Yeah. And I think it's almost this like, what's the word I'm looking for? It's almost this like way to weed people out in a way. Like you're going to find somebody that really wants you for you and appreciates your honesty and appreciates everything about you. Like there's a girl on Instagram. I'm friends with her from Atlanta and she contracted herpes and she's been super open and vocal about it. And I kind of love her outlook. She's like, this is a part of me now. Like the person I'm meant to be with is going to accept this or and if they don't, then they're not for me. Right. I think three dates in, I probably want to sleep with somebody. If they were honest, I think I would respect them telling me at least. You know, God forbid somebody sleeps with you and

doesn't tell you. And I think I would appreciate the honesty. And then you take an inventory of the relationship. Do I see this going further? Do I want to pursue a relationship with this person? Then maybe we don't sleep together for a little while. And then I decide if I want to. Or maybe you don't. And there's nothing wrong with that either. There's nothing wrong with being like, okay, this person has this STD and I don't see a future and I don't want to get it. And there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting that either. Yeah. I mean, I just, I feel the pain of like putting myself in someone's shoes that like the overwhelming like, oh my God, I, I can can't believe this. Like, no one's going to want to fuck me. And A, that's not true. And B, like,

I mean, wear condoms. It sounds like it's really, just because you sleep with somebody, herpes definitely, I'm definitely, I've slept with somebody with herpes. I know I have. Just statistically, you have too. There's zero. Like, yes. I don't have it. I've slept with some, I know I have. Like, just statistically. There's zero percent chance I haven't. And so I just think, like, I almost think, look at it as a blessing because I love what you just said. It might just make you like wait and take pause. And like if someone tells you this, like maybe you're like, okay, let me think this over. I don't, maybe I won't sleep with you tonight. But like, you really have to focus on more that's in the relationship than just the sex part of it.

That's the thing I want to hammer home is like, please do not look at, look at this as like the nail in the coffin of your sex life. I don't think that's it at all. No. You know, I think that if you look at the gay community and you look at gay dating apps, there's a field that says if you are clean, if you've been tested recently, if you're on, um, what's the prep? Yeah, if you're on a pill, that it's preventative and things like that. Yeah, there's fields for that on gay dating apps,

like Grindr. And I think that, you know, more than any other community in the world, the homosexual male community has found a way to deal with this and still had relationships and long-lasting love and promiscuous sex. And HIV isn't, you know, a deterrent for all gay males anymore. And so I don't think that herpes needs to be a deterrent for straight people.

Right. And it's like, I don't know. It's like, I do. I hate the stigma around it because what Kendall said, It's like a skin thing. That's it. It's like, every once I want to have an eczema flare up, you're not going to date me. I mean, again, it's not something that you can pass.

But that's all it is. And like, it's almost weird. It's like, do we need to rebrand it? We need a new name for it. Because it's just not, I do that sometimes with, I'm only familiar with, like, the food world. But they do that with different fish. Seabas used to have another name. And I forget what, Chilean Seabass used to have another name.

And it was like donkey fish or something. I just made that up. But Chilean Seabass used to have another name. But Chileans Eve's used to be called something else, and they rebranded it. Now it's almost extinct. We're going to rebrand herpes. But no, if you're listening to this,

and you are looking for that solace of like, I'm so upset about this thing, I'm so upset that I have herpes. Like, your sex slave is not over. If you tell somebody that you have this and you explain all the facts and you're armed with all the information and they don't want to fuck you good riddance.

Yeah. You know what? Like, you will find somebody that respects your honesty and likes you for who you really are. And that's just what it is. this is your life and look at it as the blessing or the silver lining or however you want to look at it. And I mean, that's just kind of like all I have to say about it. Yeah, I like your advice.

And I think this is a good time to segue over to contraceptives. Again, we got tons of different messages from people asking what the best thing to take is. And we can share our own personal stories and experience with birth control. But IUD was a huge thing people asked about. The new ring came up, different estrogen levels and certain birth controls. I guess to kick it off just to sort of give our listeners a background on me and then you if you want

but I've taken birth control most of my life I have always needed to be on a super super low dosage of estrogen because it literally, it'll make me crazy like I was even on orthotriceclin low and it was causing me to have like hysterical crying fits just really bad like levels of hysteria and so for me I had to really like adjust the dose

and play around with it. I've tried the numerous I had a really bad experience with it. Personally, just for my own body, I had a very, very terrible reaction to it. But yeah, I mean, obviously, you know, we're not doctors. I can't tell what people to take, but like, you want now?

I'm not on anything right now. Oh, you're not. You're just raw dog in it. Yeah. Raw dog in your body. Just kidding. You know, I just sort of felt like I'm not in a long-term relationship anymore. I'm not having, I'm not in age or I'm having sex with, like,

random partners. If I do, I use a condom. but like I don't really want to put chemicals and hormones in my body if it's not something that I don't need to do. Well, right. You know, when I've had partners, I've always, I mean, I like when somebody comes inside of me. It like really turns me on.

I love it. And so like I have to be on birth control when I'm dating somebody. But I'm not having like unprotected sex with like random strangers at this point. I'm not having daily sex with anybody. So for me, no birth control today. Well, okay. So I was the first, I'm on the one I was on from day one. which was Yasmin, now it's Ocelah.

I mean, whatever. It's like, that's what the brand name, I guess, is Yasmin. But I was on it for, I don't know, 10 years, 10 plus years. And then I went off of it for that same reason. I was like, I'm just, I'm not, I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not having all this regular sex. I'm not having a ton of casual sex. If I do, I'm going to use a condom.

It was the same thing as you. And I was like, why am I putting this hormones in my body? So I went off of it for a year. And like a full-blown year, nothing crazy. I think I gained a couple pounds, to be honest. And then I went back. on it after being off of a free year because I got a boyfriend. And again, same thing. I was like, I don't want to have to worry about condoms. I want to come inside me. Like, whatever. I'm having

regular sex. And so I went back on it and the symptoms were insane. It was just like pregnancy symptoms. I called my mom and she was like, there's what you're describing to me, there's zero percent chance you're not pregnant. I took a pregnancy test. It was wild. My breast hurt to the touch. I couldn't sleep. I was like Googling all these things. I'm like, these are symptoms of birth control. Why is this happening? I was on this for 10 years in my life. And I can't believe that going off of it and going back on it has done this to me. And it was like a full-blown month of, it was horrible. And I'm in this new relationship. My emotions were all over the place. It was crying all the time. Then I couldn't sleep. And I was crying because I couldn't sleep. I had these like crazy

hunger pains. And again, just like the pain in my breasts were like the one of the main things. And I went to my gyno and she was like, yeah, I mean, that's what's going to happen. Your body changes. I was like, but it's the same pill. She's like, yeah, you're just getting old. and your body changes. I mean, that was kind of the answer. And she was like, if this let it ride out for a month and if you come back. And on the plus side, I don't know for whatever reason. I think some people I know have experienced this,

especially with this birth control, is that I did like lose a couple pounds. Like it does randomly help maintain my weight for some odd reason, especially in like the belly area. It was a very weird thing. But so still on it, not having a ton of sex, but don't want to deal with that ever again. But I still, I really also just don't love that there's hormones in my body.

So I think a lot of people deal with that. That's why we'll bring us into our IUD conversation seamlessly. But, you know, we'd love to hear your thoughts. And not to take the floor away, but people always randomly DM us. They're like, what birth controls are? Yeah, I just like people to know. People, we want to share our truth, too. And also, I'm not like a health expert.

Like, I'm just also lazy. Like, I'll never take a pill every day if it's not for sex reasons. Like, I'm just very lazy. Yeah. And forget. Which is why I think a lot of people are curious about IUDs. You know, do they hurt? What's the differences in them?

So I would love, yeah, do you want to talk about IUDs? I love talking about IUD. Yay! Okay, good. So at our listeners apparently. Also, I do feel like I miss, like I remember with Obamacare that they, back when I had health insurance and back when Obama was president, it would have been free. And I still think about that and I look back on that. I'm like, gosh, I just should have gotten it for free back in the day.

Because I remember my guy being like, you can get it for free. I mean, I don't know what it is out of pocket, but times have changed. It can be up to $1,000. Right. It can be $1,000. And I was like, God, I missed the boat on that. But I'm fine with my... But there are some places like Planned Parenthood

and other like community health care centers that might be able to do it for lower costs. So if you don't have health insurance, that's my first message. That's where I went. When I moved here, I went, I didn't have health insurance and I went to Planned Parenthood. My Parenthood gave me my first IUD because my gynecologist wouldn't. This was back in, I want to say, like, 2005,

where there was still a lot of myths about us, about IUDs like going around. and people used to be really hesitant to put them in people who hadn't had a pregnancy. And so I was young and I'd never been pregnant before. And my regular gynaecologist was like, I'm not giving you an IUD. It's not safe for women who haven't had kids, which is not true. That is 100% not true. So, I mean, now, as we know, tons of people are using them and that's no longer, you know, a requirement.

So I wasn't on birth control for, you know, six months or so. And then a condom broke and I went to plan parent to get plan B. Because back then you couldn't get it over the counter, which is another, like, advanced. Thank God you can get emergency contraception over the counter now. Thank God for me. It's like my Saturday morning routine. I just go to CVS and they're like, oh, Raina again.

Breakfast. And buy them multi-packs online. You know, oh, also, fun fact, if you have health insurance. If you have health insurance, you can get morning after pills for free. If you have your doctor write you a prescription. I'm not kidding. What? Those are, for people who don't know, those are $50 for one pill.

Also, another thing I want to say about the morning after pill, I, sorry, we'll go into IUDs, but these are very important things. Generics work just as well as, okay. Yeah, so don't feel like you have to buy the most expensive kind. All the same medication instead of 50. Or like even, I think now you can buy multi-packs online for way cheaper. That's what I need. But so this is another under the ACA, the Affordable Care Act, this whole thing about, you know,

birth control being available with no out-of-pocket costs. That does include, it only includes methods that are prescription. So if you get your doctor to write you a prescription for plan B, you can get it for free with your health insurance. You might have to explain to your doc, because I did this. I went to my gynecologist and was like, write me a prescription for a couple morning after pills.

And she was like, you don't need a prescription. I'm like, I know. But if you do, then I won't have to explain to the pharmacist too. They'll be like, just grab it. It's on the shelf. And you'll say, no, this is for free. I'm going to sell them. No, I'm kidding.

But it's good to have. I mean, I can give it to friends and stuff like that. Like, yeah. It's like, I'm like, just your soror. Like the candy man. She's saying. So, you know, life hack on that. That's a great thing to know.

And another, and a good pivot, too, a lot of people don't realize this, is that the copper IUD can also be used as emergency contraception. As a matter of fact, it is the most effective form of emergency contraception. Wait, what? So if you get to go get it installed. So that can be the challenge. You got to get it, yeah, you got to get plugged in. And that can be the challenge is finding an appointment on short notice.

but up to five days after unprotected sex, if you get a copper IUD put in and is over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy, and then you can just leave it in if that's a type of birth control you want. Technical reason for that? It prevents the sperm from getting to the egg. I have a question.

Spearm lives up in your body. Sperm can live in your body for like up to five days. So pregnancy doesn't happen right after sex. Yeah, that's why. Well, we had a guest last week that said that they had sex and they have a child now. He had this like super sperm. We told you about this earlier.

and the plan B just didn't work and they went to the doctors and they were like yeah she got pregnant like immediately because she was super fertile and his super sperm and it was just like Plan B doesn't always work

because you may have already ovulated so that's the reason Plan B is not as effective as other methods of birth control pills if like you've already ovulated and there's already an egg hanging out in your fallopian tube and you take Plan B

it's not going to stop anything from happening so that's why we don't recommend it as your typical birth control use because it's not as effective because just clear it up because I'm sure we'll get some messages we're not how to for plan B to be your birth control method.

It is for emergencies. We just want to make that clear. We can make jokes all day. I used to do a bit about that on stage of like that's how you know you're rich when that's your primary birth control method is just plan B. But I do want to emphasize it's not unsafe to take it multiple times. The reason we say it's only for emergencies is because A, it's kind of expensive as we've covered.

And B, it's just not as effective because, again, if you, you know, if an egg has already been released, then it's not going to do much for you. Well, let's talk about IUDs. Yeah. So I guess, you know, what's the difference? So there's copper and hormonal, right? Yes. How does it get installed?

Does it hurt? Why does it hurt so bad? Let's talk about the installation. What I, yeah. I mean, one of my best friends has it. She said it was incredibly painful. Yeah, it fucking sucked. I've had two IUDs.

Yeah. Both kinds? Like the hormone. Yeah, I had a copper IUD for about six or seven years. You know, there were certain things. things I loved about it and certain things I didn't like so much about it. But that's kind of what we do with all methods of birth control is weigh the pros and the cons. And, you know, not everything is going to work for everybody and everyone's going to have different experiences. But for me at the time, that was a

good method. And then I ended up swapping it out for a hormonal one. So I've had two insertions and two removals because I no longer have one now. And, you know, insertion again, I know everyone gets sick of this answer, but everyone's body is different. So it is going to be different for different people. Overwhelmingly, I hear that it's, it's painful. It really, it can really hurt. But the pain is usually really quick. It is, like the most intensely painful part is over pretty quick. Some people can have cramping, you know, a day or two after insertion. And it is important to note, especially with the copper IUD, that you can have some pretty bad cramping for a couple months after you get the IUD, but usually that calms down after a while. And this, this kind of applies

to any birth control method. You know, a lot of the side effects that you have when you first start taking them will go away eventually. And a lot of people stop using their method before they have a chance to, you know, because they're like, oh, this is terrible. I can't, I don't want my body to feel like this. Well, that's what happened to me.

I mean, just on the pill. Like that my first month was horrible. Right. And there was a reason your doctor was like, well, stick it out for a little while. And like, and, you know, and then, yeah, you know what? Maybe the stuff doesn't go away. And if it, if it turns out you don't like the way the IUD feels or, you know, there's certain side effects

that have gone beyond three to six. months and you just can't hack it anymore, then you can always get it taken out. But the advice is usually to try to stick with it for at least three months. Right. Okay. That's good to know. And generally, I feel like removal is a little less painful than insertion, but, you know, again, everyone's different. And some people say their insertion wasn't that bad. It's crampy. It's, you know, it's not going to tickle, but like, um, like, um, and just so that I understand, it completely eradicates your period. You don't get it? Or do you get it sometimes? So the copper IUD is actually, uh, most of the time usually increases the amount of bleeding that people have,

and that can even out again after like three to six months. But when I was on the copper IUD, my periods were much heavier than they were before and they were longer. So the only benefit is non-hormonal. Yes. And that it's extremely effective.

And there's really no other methods that don't involve hormones. There's no perfect birth control. Which is why I chose the cop. That was why I wanted the copper uD. I did not want to deal with hormones and I wanted something super effective. So I was like, you know what?

I menstruate 25% of my life now. I use a cup. It's not, you know, like the cup is saved a gazillion dollars on tampons because I would have been flying through those motherfuckers. Have you used one before? No, but that's a good thing to talk about. Yeah. Also, just, how it's so annoying to be a woman?

Like, it's over. We're like, well, do you want to have a heavier period? Do you want to get pregnant? Do you want to have, like, it's just, yeah. Or do you want to have hormones in your body around the clock? Like, it's just like, oh, my God. Also, I had a friend had a really bad experience with the copper one just to her, but that was very rare.

But I feel like she's probably listening to this. Like, oh, my God, I went through hell. please talk about it. And so it was super rare. Her body was randomly had too much copper in it. Like it affected her breasts and a ton of other things. But again, that was like one, you know, very rare case. But everybody has different reactions to every single thing. I mean, and that's also, it's like, I love talking about birth control and everyone's different birth control experiences. And I think it's really important. And everyone's stories are valid and deserve to be heard. And everyone's experiences are real. But I also want to caution people against deciding what method to use based

on like stories you read online or like things. Yes, even your friends say. People are way more likely to post a comment online or tell a story if they've had like a negative experience. So there is kind of an outsized amount of like horror stories around lots of different birth control methods when in reality most of them are safe for most people. But again, it doesn't mean those experiences are invalid, but it's really best to kind of do your own research and talk with your doctor when deciding methods instead of. I love that you said that and that's just such a true thing with literally anything. Like, I always want to, like, give props to people that write nice reviews.

Like, the people that take the time to write a nice Yelp review or a nice Amazon review, I'm like, thank God for you. Or a nice girl's got to eat a review on iTunes. People don't go online to say nice things usually. Totally. And I think that they're probably think that there's, like, a good intention behind it. Like, I had... Of course, you want to...

If you have a horrible experience, you want to save other people, help other people, yeah. But, like, I had a really, really, really terrible experience with the Nuberang. The doctor told me that I had had a mini-ststrivation. broke, basically. I'd only been on it for like a month. I mean, that had to be what... I literally, I was sitting with my boyfriend. I had dinner.

I'd had one beer, so I was, like, nourished. I hadn't been drinking, really. I got up, I walked across the room. I literally just fell to the floor. I, like, did not... I was having, like, a hard time, like, forming words and speech. I got really hot. I literally couldn't focus on anything or talk.

Anyways, it was really, really terrifying. I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to die. I went to the doctor, and they went through a series of questions, and they said, are you on a different kind of birth control? and I said yes, and they said take it out immediately, and it never happened again. And I had another girlfriend that experienced something very similar. She said she had two episodes, one on the subway and one at a bookstore, exact same situation, lost the ability to speak.

She was like sweating, her blood pressure was up. So anyways, those are two very scary things. But for other people, like another girl I worked with used in a new ring, she loved it. It was great for her. Yeah, right. I mean, if you look on any of like Planned Parenthood social media presences, they talk about birth control a lot. And if you look in the comments, there's like,

there's a good, I mean, there's some people are like, this is the worst thing ever, this ruined my life. And there's, you know, people that are like, I've used this for 30 years and I love it. And I wouldn't use anything else. Like, okay. Like, so, you know, it's good to read these things and it's good to have these conversations. But ultimately, you know, what you read and hear from other people is not necessarily what your experience is going to be. Well, good. And I like this. And again, like, you know, talk to your doctor. You know, like, I just think we didn't want to make this like a birth control podcast. Of course. So it's like, talk to your doctor. Everybody's different. You know, I think that's what they're there. for. But in terms of like getting a period on your on on an IUD like the hormonal ones that's what you're thinking of. Those are the ones that actually that can lighten or eliminate your period. And

it really like it's again, it's person to person. Some of the ones that have like the smaller ones that don't last as long and have fewer hormones might not actually stop your period as much as like ones like Morena that last a little longer. They have slightly more hormones in them. So like it kind of it can depend on your body. It can depend on the type of IUD you have. But generally like hormonal IUD is yes, we'll lighten or stop your period completely. I think my period stopped coming after like a month and a half, two months on the marina.

And it was dope. A lot of people... Love that shit. I know. But then you, when you got a period, can you kind of give us a little short and sweet explanation of the cup? Oh yeah.

Sorry, the cop. I love to hear it because I think people don't know what that is. Yeah, okay. So when I say cup, I'm talking about a menstrual cup. The brand I use is the diva cup. That's kind of like... Yes, it's what I've heard of. There's a ton of different.

brands out there. You'll probably get some hot opinions about this in the comments too, because everyone has a story about whether or not they love or hate the cup. I mean, again, none of this shit is one size fits all, so I'm not evangelizing this to anybody doesn't want to use it. But what I love about it is that it's reusable, so I don't have to buy tampons. And I just love not spending money on things. I don't have to spend money on. And a lot of times tampons and, you know, disposable menstrual products are not great for the environment. The companies that make them are run by evil, terrible men. Except for Lola.

We love Lola. Okay. Yes. Sure. Yes. Shout out to female run menstrual product companies. For sure. Yeah.

And I'm not saying tampons are dangerous. Like I'm not saying that at all either. I just. But there's a risk. There's still a risk. I mean, with toxic shock syndrome with tampons if you, you know, leave it in too long and things like that. I mean, the other thing I liked about, I like about the cup is that it holds a lot more fluid

than tampons and pads usually. And so I can leave it in for long. longer. And like I said, when I had my copper IUD and I had a very heavy period, it was really nice to have a cup and not to change a tampon every two hours or every hour. So walk us through. Yeah. Is it like a cup? It literally is a cup. And then you insert it into your vagina. And as people look at them, they're like, that is fucking huge. How is that going to feel good, be comfortable? The vagina does not put a dick inside of you? That looks like it's not going to be comfortable either. And the vagina actually does not have that many nerve endings past kind of the openings. The idea is if it's

in right, you shouldn't, it shouldn't be uncomfortable. You shouldn't be able to feel it. Can you, yeah, I was going to ask, can you feel it? You shouldn't be able to feel it. And if you can, then you might need to reposition it, or you might need to try a different kind of cup, a smaller one. There's cups out there with different shapes. So sometimes it's just a question of like finding the right one for you.

And yeah, there's, you know, you basically, you fold it. So once you fold it down, it kind of becomes the width of a tampon, maybe a little bigger. Pop it in, let it expand, give it a twist or two to make sure that it, like, makes contact with the walls of your vagina. that it's like open. It can take some getting used to. So for the first couple months, it's good to wear a pad as a backup or something, you know, just so you don't bleed on your clothes and things like that. But, you know, it's, I started using one a long time ago. I know. I have a girl who was telling me this recently. And she said there is a little bit of a learning curve. But I don't

know, I don't really have a heavy flow. So I'm kind of like into this idea. I might try it. And also, is there like a string on the bottom to pull it out? Then you basically sit over the toilet and pull it out? Yeah. So there's like a little stem. I actually don't usually use the stem. I just like grab the cup itself. and pull it out. I mean, things that people do have concerns about is like, how do I deal with this in a public bathroom? Which is a totally, like, that's valid.

So you don't have to wash it every single time you put it back in. So, you know, what you would do, if you're in a public bathroom, go in the bathroom, wash your hands, go in, take it out, dump it in the toilet, maybe wipe the outside down with toilet paper, pop it back in, wash your hands again, you're good to go. And if you're at home, wash it in the sink. I usually empty mine in the shower. That's the easiest way to do it.

Of course. Empty in the shower and clean it in the shower once or twice a day. and the nice thing about it too is like you don't have to go out with a purse full of tampons because everything you need is already in your cooch so it's already in there.

It's already up there. I love it. I love it. Yeah, we've never talked about it in the show. And also swimming because like I really hate swimming with a waterlog tampon. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Like if you're wearing a tampon and you go swimming and all the pool water gets in there and then, blah, blah, la. Yeah. No, I mean, none of it's good. Again, being a woman. Jesus, it's true.

It's fucking hard. It's tough. There's so many things. Like, I want a guy to listen to this podcast and be like, okay. What the hell? What the fuck? This sounds so bad for you guys. I know.

I'm sorry. Well, should we talk about, what do you want to? Can we talk about, can we talk about how it's safe to not get a period? Yes. So a lot of people asking, is it safe and does it affect my long-term ability to have a kid? If I don't get a period. Great. Or if I'm on birth control forever.

Right. Yeah. Right. Love it. Okay. So that we get, this is a huge question, especially around methods like the IUD. in the implant that tend to stop your period, or people who use the birth control pill

to skip their period, which you can do by skipping the placebo week, or like the same thing with the ring, you leave your ring in for the placebo week. Right. People do it for like vacation or something, which like that. Or just for, you know, long term, if they just don't want to get a period, it is totally safe to use birth control this way. There's this kind of, I think, incorrect idea

that, like, what's happening is your body is just storing up all those blood that's not coming out and when you, like, eventually go off. That's not what's happening. What is happening when you have an IUD or some, you're using a method to stop your period is your endometrium layer, like the lining of your uterus is just not building up. Right. So your body, your body could be cycling. Like when I had my IUD, I was definitely, I was definitely ovulating.

I would still kind of get PMS. I'd have those period symptoms. My boobs would get swollen. I'd get a little mood swingy. I could feel myself ovulate, but I just wouldn't bleed. And it's just because the lining isn't building up every month. So there's nothing to come out. I think I'm going to just start doing this.

For real. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So keep going. Yeah. So, and it doesn't impact your long-term fertility. Birth control in general does not impact your long-term fertility.

In fact, you can get pregnant right away after you stop taking health control, even if your period's irregular and even if you're not getting a period right away, the one method that can impact your fertility short term, like we're talking like three months to a year maybe is the depot shot. It can take a little longer after the shot to wear your blood. Right. But people can still get, like, it's person to person, so we don't, you know, I don't want to say.

But you're so right. So many of my friends are. married with kids. They were on birth control for 15 years and they have multiple children. I mean, this is my best friend, Corey, I'll shout her out. She was like, right after they got married in November, she was like, I'm just going to get out birth control because we want to have kids. And I think in your head, you're like, it's going to take a while.

And no, a month. Like New Year's Eve knocked up. She was like, what the fuck? She was like, I, and it's funny because she was one of those people, she was like, I just feel like I would have, if I was super fertile, I would have gotten pregnant. I've had so much sex in my life. And it's like, no, birth control work. It's a thing that works.

And it really is, the pill is one of the most studied, if not the most studied medication and the history of the world. It is so heavily researched and scrutinized, and it has been tested safe for millions and millions and millions of people, millions and millions of people have used it safely. So, like, this stuff is well researched and... Right. So I never thought about that.

Yeah, this is like a really heavily engineered piece of medication, right? And they keep doing research. I mean, when the pill first came out, It used a ton of hormones, and they've since really, you know, paired it down. And now we're seeing methods like the IUD that use way fewer hormones than things like the pill and different types of hormones. And like, yeah, so, you know, the IUD and the implant don't have estrogen in them. So people who are sensitive to estrogen or have problems with estrogen can use methods like

the implant or the IUD because there's no estrogen in them. Cool. Thanks. I love that we talked about this. Okay. So the last sort of segment I'd like to do with you before we do another segment. The next segment I'd like to do with you is UTIs, which is a topic that's near and dear to my heart. I love getting UTIs.

What is you talking about near and dear to your heart? I've gotten a lot of them in my life. It's been really, really shitty. And a lot of people asked about them. Why do some people get them so frequently? How do you stop getting them? Is it because I'm not peeing after sex, et cetera? Oh, peeing after sex, we got a ton of questions about.

Personally, my personal experience is I didn't get them my whole life, and then I started dating somebody long distance. and I wouldn't have sex for two weeks and then I would see him and we'd fuck four times a day for days and I would get the most like on I mean UTIs are so bad for me I've heard this I've never had one either I'm so sorry everyone's really gonna hate us for saying that right away

My vagina is just on point My never had a UTI never had a regular pap It's so painful for me that like I have a hard time walking I can feel it like sitting hurt standing hurt You can't eat I get nauseous And it's, I mean, one pill and you're fine. Right. But, yeah, I mean, I think some people really get them chronically.

Other people don't get them at all. And I've always peed right after sex. Like that's, I mean, unless I'm so drunk, I just go to sleep. And I just, and again, if you can't answer this, totally no big deal. But I think what I'm curious about and I have a friend that kind of same as you where she dated someone long distance and also ate a huge dick. And like she was, she saw, they'd be on vacations and she'd have to go get meds and all these things.

But I think people ask wonder about peeing after sex and does that prevent it? and big dicks. Yeah, because he had a huge dick, but I thought it was generally the frequency with which we were having sex, also the large dick. I went to so many walking clinics with him. It is insane.

And also, I'm curious, Dewey Beach. The urgent care of Dewey Beach is just all Plan B's and UTI meds. And I'm curious if it, I don't know, this is a definite doctor question? I'm just curious, like, is it bad to take the antibiotics that many times? Like I'm wondering, like, build a persistence to it? But they're cranberry pills. So, like, they're not like, the stuff that you're taking is, you know, you'd have a cranberry juice.

It'll help your symptoms, but you really need medication to make it go away. I've heard that the jury is kind of mixed on whether or not the cranberry stuff is actually effective. So what I've taken is azo, azeo. That's typically what's typically you take. It is cranberry based or something. Yeah, no, that used to be. That was like the kind of common wisdom was like, oh, my God, just load the fuck up on cranberry juice. And then I think some research came out that was like, actually, I'd have.

doesn't really do much. But if it works for you... People are, like, drinking Ocean Sprite. It's like cranberry juice cocktail. It's not even like the real deal. The one time I thought I was getting a UTI, I like went, but I went to get the like the cranberry juice concentrate, which by the way, it's like $12 a bottle.

And hard to find. Like it's hard to go to Whole Foods or something. Oh, my God. Yes. And it, I mean, it is so bitter. It is fuck. Yeah. I cut it with salsa and just like chugged it.

And I got like kind of made it go away. But I think also just staying super hydrated. I think it must, I think it was more. just the drinking of the fluids and being super hydrated and, you know, flushing out that help. Mean girls, I think, when she's like, I'm doing the cranberry juice flush and, it's cranberry juice, cocktail. He's like, it's a cranberry juice cocktail. So do you know why some people are super prone to UTIs and others aren't? I mean, I think it has to do with like your kind of bacterial makeup in your body and

the placement of your urethra and just like the way your genitals are sorted out. I mean, the way they happen is bacteria gets pushed into your urethra, usually during sex. So, you know, and I, and, and whether or not your, your body is able to, like, you know, fight that off or deal with that. Do you feel like peeing after sex is a thing you should do? That's what they say, you know, but I know people are like, I do it all the time and I still get, you know, right, yeah, so. I think it can't hurt.

I mean, it definitely, no, it definitely can't hurt. You might as well. It's probably a good idea. Just to flush it out. Throw some cranberry juice up there. Flush it out with, I would not do that. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Put cranberry juice in your vagina, please. And while we're talking about putting stuff in your vagina, I always like to talk about duches and how they're bad for you and how a vagina should smell and all these things. I really wanted to have this conversation about what's normal. And we were going to kind of say this for the last segment, but I think we may as well do it now. Like I think this is the thing I want to talk to all the ladies about of like,

your vagina is probably normal. I mean, you know if it smells like it shouldn't or something like that. But as far as like, I just, There's so much bad stuff that happens in the feminine hygiene industry. And the same people that make duches also make monostad. And doches give you yeast infections. I mean, again, I mean, I mean, vagusil is now making plan B. They're not plan B.

They're making a morning after pill. That's funny. Yeah. So there's all these weird connections. But doches across the board are bad, right? And not healthy for your vagina. Yes. I would not recommend douching.

It washes away the good bacteria in your vagina. It can upset your pH balance, which can increase, you know, the risk of bacterial vaginosis, which causes that kind of fishy smell. It's really not. You don't need to clean inside your vagina. The vagina is self-cleaning. That's what discharges.

It's like an oven. It takes care of itself. Oh, thank you. And discharge is also normal and healthy, by the way. Of course. And that's what I love, like we were joking earlier. Like so many women comedians, obviously, have done bits about discharge. Oh, my God.

Jenny Slate in the beginning of obvious child. I literally don't. I said, actually, have you seen? She talks, it's so funny if you guys haven't seen the show. She talks about how her underpants looks like she took it off and just ran it through a vat of cream cheese. And it's so funny.

If you've seen the movie, it's hysterical. It's right in the beginning. Amy Shimmer used to do a bit about the same thing, like what her underwear looks like when she takes them off. But bacteria vaginosis is not a word I'd never heard until today. Really? No, literally never heard of it before.

Not true. Because I told you what happened with me yesterday. Excuse me, in the last 24 hours, I'd never heard of this time. randomly I'll share my truth. I, again, I'm not trying to brag, but I've never had a UTI, a yeast infection, or an irregular pap. But one time I got bacterial vaginosis

twice in the summer. Me too. It like wouldn't go away. Twice in the summer. Warfcrofts for like three months when I couldn't get rid of it. How does it smell different than like, what is it? Well, so in my, I'll just share my story.

Like I, this is a guy I was sleeping with at the very end of college. And I think like we were just like lazy and drunk all the and I think we had sex and he probably came inside of me and I didn't do anything about it or who knows, we passed out drunk, whatever. But you can smell that it smells differently. And the smell tends to get stronger after sex. Right.

So if you notice you have kind of a funky smell and it's stronger after sex, it's often. Yes. And so I was like, this is a normal, obviously. And went to the gyno and they gave me this stuff and it was like a foam that I put in like basically a tampon applicator and shot it up there for a week. and it was totally, it was gone.

And then randomly, that's next, the summer, I was, like, hooking up with this other guy, and I got it again. And that was when I was 21 and never, no issues down there ever since. But it was very funny. And, but again, like, I think a lot of girls listening to this, like, I remember being so embarrassed

and so, like, oh, my gosh, like, I smell bad and, like, what is wrong with me and thinking it was, like, some STD-related. I mean, I obviously, like, hauled my ass to the gyno, and she was like, this is not a big deal. I still don't know what it is. Can you just the bacteria? Sure.

infection, right? Can you me the definition of like what that is? Yes. So bacterial vaginosis is a vaginal infection that happens when your pH balance gets a little out of whack and there's an overgrowth of bacteria. It can happen for a lot of different reasons and it can happen kind of randomly. It's not an STD so it's not spread, you know, between partners, but sex can lead to it. Sometimes it's like your genital chemistry just reacts to your partner's genital chemists. Dudes that had dirty sperm or something, I'm kidding. But like it didn't work with my body. Yeah, there's, you know, sometimes your body just has a reaction to someone else's pH and it just throws your balance off a little bit. And you can tell because of the smell, is that how

you can tell? Usually, yeah, sometimes. And that's the hard thing too is because, like, so when I had it, the smell is the more noticeable part of it and it would be a little itchy, but it would go away. It would come and go. So I was like, oh, it doesn't feel great. But then I thought maybe it was just like, because it only happened for like a day or two and then that would go away, but then the, and the smell would kind of come and go too. And it took me a while to go in because I thought I was just having like a bad cycle week or something or you know. I think I like ate a bunch of pineapple. I was like,

like how they say men's like cleans their sperm up or something. I was like gnaishing fruit. I'm like actually I should go to the doctor. Yeah. So it can be hard to like know for sure if you have it. But yeah, usually like one of the strongest indicators is like a pretty fishy smell, especially after sex and like a little discomfort.

It can maybe burn when you pee. It can feel a little itchy or just, you know, painful. Sex might be a little painful. But again, like not a big deal. Yeah. big deal. But you do need to go see your gynecologists. Yeah, you should go and get, um, usually

I'll tell you why making this face. I just, I had this thought about like, what if we had this podcast with men and we're like, okay, we're going to do an episode about all the stuff that happens to men's dicks. And this episode would be three minutes long. Like this could just not exist for, I like you're both laughing quietly. Let the record go. They are both silently laughing. Men can get, like, you can get UTIs in a penis.

It's not common, but it can happen. There's so many things you like should put your, vagina, help your vagina, don't put in your vagina. She's like, this episode would be 30 seconds for a man. Good for men. Congratulations. For you guys. Yeah, but we actually got, again, this is something I had when I was 21 and haven't

really thought about it since until we started researching and doing stuff for this episode. But a lot of the listeners wrote on the questions we asked, they were at BV, like, which is, I actually had to look up and I was like, oh, I had that. But also it's interesting about. It seems really prevalent. I don't know. Yeah, it can be pretty prevalent. I mean, it's similar to a yeast infection, right?

Which is, yeast infections are a fungal infection, but that's also like a pH balance issue. Which is interesting because antibiotics can also, like, for some people, trigger yeast infections. Yeah, great. Sometimes someone's thinking antibiotics to treat something and then they get a yeast infection, you know. Sorry, ladies.

But also, I will say to trichomoniasis, which is an STD, has really similar symptoms to BV. Okay. So if you think you have BV, like you should go to the doctor, because you could have an STA. And like, a trick is not, you know, Trick is short for trichomoniasis. It's not serious. It's easy to cure and treat and everything.

It's the same thing, antibiotics. But like you can pass it back and forth to a partner. Gotcha. So you should. Okay, good to know. That's like on the same level as like a chlamydia or a goddria. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Basic, not a huge deal, but you should get treated for it. I'm just thinking about those guys. They're come fucked me all up. It's their fault. Actually, I only got UTIs. Don't blame your partners.

Right. It should be, but I only got those UTIs from one partner. It's definitely him. It's his issue. could be. Was that the biggest dick guy you slept with? Except for the guy I lost my virginity too, who I slept with on and off for years. Lucky me, right? I lost my virginity to like the biggest penis I've ever seen. But it's interesting. I was like, people like this.

Really set the bar for you, huh? Do you know about, do you know the answer to this? I thought I heard this that if you're with somebody with a really huge penis, that the vagina will eventually kind of like grow to work with it.

You get blown out more as you have Do you mean like stretch out? I don't know. I remember grow to work with it? Over time, is this a myth? I don't. Like, my question, I feel for people, women that are with a guy with like a giant dick that's painful.

And I wonder if it ever gets better. I mean, vaginas are stretchy. They birth children. So they are made to accommodate, you know, large widths and length and things like that. But no one should be having painful sex. Right. You know, in terms of someone, if their partner is so big, it's causing pain during sex, I think that's more of like a positional thing.

Like, you just kind of have to figure out how to do positions that are, don't go super deep or don't hit in a way that is like really painful. Use loob. Yeah, use loob. 100%. Also make sure you're really like a lot of foreplay is happening and that you're really worn up. Because as the vagina, as you get more turned on, the vagina expands and, you know, kind of.

Can you use that one? It's called vaginal tenting, actually. Tenting. Yeah. Where it like, yeah, it expands to accommodate, you know. I love, okay. I'm glad that you said that. Yeah.

So a lot of times it's just a question of extra loo, more foreplay, a caring partner who's, you know, going to work with you, a lot of communication, what hurts, what doesn't. Right. And we, you also said this earlier that if you are having pain during sex, that shouldn't happen, talk to your doctor as well. But I like those tips. Yeah. I like the foreplay tip.

That's, that's, that's, I love that. You can feel that happening as a woman. Yeah. You're like, my vagina is. expanding. I'm ready to go. I mean, I'm not trying to tell anyone how to have sex, but also, like, if penis and vagina, like, hurts you too much, you can get off in other ways.

You can use sex toys. You can use fingers. And if you're with a partner who's not cool with that, then I don't know, re-evaluate. Your partner, right. Yeah, I love that. But a lot of people wanted to know about pain during sex. And I've had, I think it happened to me a lot more when I was much younger. It was probably just, like, the positions I was in.

But, yeah, there's, I forget what the disorder is called where your uterus is positioned in a straight way that there is, it's, you know, it's, you always have painful sex. I don't remember what it's called. But, yeah, I mean, again, you talk to a doctor because it shouldn't be happening. And, yeah, and sometimes throughout your cycle to your cervix can kind of move, you know, a little bit in your body. So, like, I mean, for me personally, there are some times during my cycle where sex is painful and sometimes where it's not. But I've talked to my doctor about that.

She identified there was, like, no issue. And it was just, you know, a question of where my cervix was sitting at the time and, you know, what positions were being used. So that can happen. Wow, we covered a lot of ground. We still have more. little bit more of like a rapid fire round. But I mean, we don't have a ton left. You really like covered a lot of stuff here.

So we did, we asked people, 17 times during this episode. We asked people to submit questions. There were some extraneous ones. We were like, okay, we'll just throw them out. We all do a deep dive into them. Sure. Maybe you can't, you'll just say pass. We went through them all.

Hold on them. Yeah, we literally went through them all. All right. This is kind of as a segment and is a game. Whatever. Who cares? Let's just go through this stuff that we haven't really. I like that somebody wrote about,

she asked about queefing. Ooh! And she said it makes her anxious and she's scared to try different positions. Oh, honey. Give it to us on queffing. You seem excited to talk about it. Queving is literally just air

that gets trapped in the vagina and comes out. It's not like a fart from your butt. Right. It's not a fair. It's not going to smell. I mean, I understand my, I'm not trying to make fun of people's like self-consciousness.

But it's just a funny word. It is a funny word. It can be a little distract. And a vagina fart is funny. But like... But it's not. I hate that it's even called a fart. Because it's not.

Like I remember yesterday at sometimes at yoga, like I do like... Oh yeah. I would do hot yoga, so I'm really sweaty. I wear a sports bra. So every once in a while you'll lay down on the mat and like it'll like up from the small your back and it sounds like a fart. I thought you were going to say you're queep during yoga. Oh, yeah.

A lot of people do. Yes. Totally. There's definitely like certain positions where like air can just suck right in your vagina. Absolutely. Yes. But it is, I hate that it's called a vagina. a fart because a fart means it smells, there's gas. It's literally just air.

Let's just call it a crease then. Yeah. But there's non-smallie farts. I mean, if your partner's giving you guff for that, like, that's, it's very, it just means you're getting dicked out real good. Like, if, if, if you're, if you're getting pounded out hard enough to get a bunch of air in there, I don't really. I think we said this.

We did this in an episode earlier where we were like, we just need to change the stigma around queefing. Like, it means that you just got really, like, got laid really well. It's like how you burp after a good meal. Like it's basically like you believe after a good set. Honestly, if it happens to me during sex, sometimes I will be like, that wasn't a fart. Like just so they know.

And I'll be like, that was my pussy. Just FYI and the guy's usually like, I know. And I'm like, okay, cool. We're all on the same page here. Because I understand maybe not wanting them to think that's what's happening. That's a sexy thing to say during sex. That wasn't a fart. Let's see what else we have.

This one feels personal to me. I know which this is going to be because you probably wrote it. I could have written it. And I don't care. I know the answer. I read articles on it. How important is wearing underwear for your vaginal health? Ooh, interesting. I don't wear underwear. Oh, okay. And I remember reading an article in Cosmo years ago that was like, that's fine. Well, you just said you don't get yeast infections, UTIs. Clearly, yes. So then it's okay for you. I tried to go, I tried to be cool and I go without panties for a week and I got a raging yeast

infection. You did. Never again. Yeah, that was a long time ago. But I, and also my pants got gross really quickly. I don't think that it's gross in the sense you get yeast infections. It just would... I'm also, where does your discharge go? I don't think I have a lot of discharge. That's okay. I mean, if it works for you, if you're not having problems, then it's not bad for you. Yeah.

And I mean, yeah, if I do, then, like, these go in the hamper. Yeah. You know, like... You do laundry more than I do, apparently. But no, I mean, generally they do say it's good to wear cotton-croached underwear. It helps, you know, keep the vagina dry, pull moisture away, and, like, that. can, you know, be better for people who may be more prone to things like bacterial vaginosis and yeast infections.

But if you're out there not wearing underwear and you're not noticing any issues, then do you? Then you're fine. You're not, you know. You're not doing something terribly dangerous. Yeah, it's not dangerous for your pussy. Right. I got one and I sort of, I'm not sure.

Can birth control affect your sex drive? Hmm. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a super common side effect. Well, it depends on the birth control method, actually. That's, actually is why I got my hormonal IUD taken out, because I thought it might be affecting my sex drive. Turns out when I got it taken out, it didn't get a whole lot better. Still don't want to fuck the guy. Some other stuff going on. And then I broke up with them.

But, you know, that's kind of what's hard about, like, you know, tricky about, like, hormonal stuff. Like, it's hard to figure out, like, a lot of these, a lot of things that people attribute to hormones and birth control, can be caused by other life things. Interesting. Right. And like, I mean, to kind of borrow a common example, there's this, you know, a lot of people are convinced that the birth control pill makes you gain a lot of weight.

I am also a person who gained a lot of weight when I was taking the birth control pill and then I went off the pill and I lost a lot of weight. But study after study shows that the pill is not clinically proven to lead to weight gain for most people. So a lot of times what happens is people start using a method, but then something else in their lifestyle changes. You know, they go to college.

so maybe they gain, like something in their lifestyle changes that causes them to gain weight or have another side effect and they kind of attribute it to the birth control. I'm not saying that none of these things ever happen to people, but it can be kind of tricky to pinpoint what is, you know, what's causing. That was my opposite thing. Yeah. And a few other people I talk to, I don't know. It's very, it's bizarre. So I love that you said that. But yeah.

But yeah, I mean, when I talked to my gynecologist about my idea, it's like, you know, it feels like my sex drive has gone down a little bit. And she's like, you know, it's not a super common. effect of the hormonal IUD, but I have taken them out of women for this reason and they tend to feel better afterwards. And again, I got to take it out and I didn't really notice much of a difference. And I may go back and get it back in one day. But it is like it is a side effect that can happen. And if that's an experience that you're having, talk to your doctor. And they'll know more about whether the specific method that you're on is like, you know, could be contributing to whatever you're experiencing. Cool. Okay. Someone wrote a question,

what do you do with a small dick? What don't you do with a small? I'm just kidding. Same thing you do with the big dicks. I just like the way they phrased it. I know. I love it too. I picture this girl like, what am I supposed to do with this?

Do you have any advice? I mean, I wish I had a little more specifics of sex educator advice. What she really wants to be told about this. I mean, I don't think that penis size is, I mean, I'm not going to say It's not important because some people have preferences and that's totally okay to have preferences. But I also think that, you know, there are any number of things that can make sex feel good. And, you know, a big penis isn't the be all and all. There's lots of other ways to experience like, you know, deep and full penetration.

If that's what you want, like, again, maybe buy a sex toy and, you know, get your jollies that way with your partner or use fingers or things like that. I mean, also I think it's worth noting that most of the nerve endings in the vagina are towards the entrance. and the G spot is only a couple inches up and in. So sometimes a small penis can actually like hit spots you didn't realize. I love that. I've said that. 100%. We're going to do a whole episode about masturbation and orgasms in the G spot.

I'm coming up with somebody that we love. But yeah, I mean, for me, most of my orgasms come from external stimulation anyways. That's another good point. And like, or the majority I think of people with vulvas, clitoral stimulations where it's at. Right. Or at least a position where somebody is. penetrating me and they can, and they're at least stimulating my clit in some way. So like,

I don't mind a smaller dick, I guess. An average size penis does not bother me. Oh, no. I mean, I'm telling you, like I feel I'd rather that than some huge penis that is painful, you know? I mean, and also too, I mean, for things like anal sex, like maybe that's something you wanted to do, but you're afraid of a great size. Here's your answer. I mean, I'm not saying everyone should go and have They don't want to, but like if you've been curious to try it, but you're afraid that maybe a penis might be too big or not feel that good, maybe. Well, this is the answer. What do I do with a small dick? Put it in your butt.

There's the answer. If you want to and Mr. Small Dick wants to, then by all these. Right. Make low jobs easier. I mean, literally everything. You literally do everything with it. Team small dick. I would, I would fucking bump you with the mic.

I could. Oh, my God. I feel like this feels like a good place to wrap. but ending it on team small dick. Team small penises. Yeah. Good size for anal. Team all penises.

Yeah. This was. All vaginas and all penises. I'm going to be that annoying person and say you mean vulvas and not vaginas. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, like the inside part. Yeah, vagina is the tube between the vulva and the uterus and the vulva's all the outside

parts. You're looking at me like, oh. I didn't notice. Did you? So like the lips and stuff are your vulva? Yes. Why? People out here say.

the wrong word. I know. Sex educators have been trying to like change the game. Change this, you know, change that lingo for a while. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. That's fine too. But yeah, labia majora, labia menorah, the lips, the clit. Yeah, the entrance to the vagina. All the, all the external stuff is the vulva. The vagina is literally just the tube between the opening and the cervix. Are you blown away too? Shucking. Why have we been saying the wrong word? That's what I'm saying. I like the word vulva better. Oh, do you? I hate the word vulva, which is really bad for a sex Educator to say it. I mean, I say it, but I don't love the way it sounds. I don't like vagina. I mean, I'd like, I like, I like, Volvo feels more fun to say than vagina. Let's make vulva fun again. Bring vulva back again. Okay, well, I love ending it on this brain teaser of a fact you just shared. This was great. Thank you. We've really waiting to cover this for a long time. Yay. Thank you for having it. So I hope that our listeners feel really excited. I feel like you really did a lot of these topics justice. Yes, thank you so much. Thank you. It was so wonderful. It was fun. It was fun.

so fantastic. So Kendall McKenzie, she's amazing. Yeah, thank you for everything. Thank you so much, y'all. Thank you. And as always, you guys can find us at Girls' Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram and then merchandise, tickets, all the things. Girls' Gotty Podcast.com. Door dates. We're on Twitter.

Ashley does the Twitter. I'm sure it's funny, but I don't know how to use it. Thank you guys so much. Have a great week. Thank you, Kendall again. Bye. Bye.