Girls Gotta Eat - Stereotypes and Sex Appeal feat. Comedian Brian Park

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

We have an innuendo-filled episode coming in hot with the hilarious Brian Park, who opens up about his dating and sex life as an Asian man, not drinking, and dealing with performance anxiety. We discuss stereotypes and how they affect your self perception, getting back on the apps after quarantine, being a porn connoisseur, and how Brian surprises his partners when he gets naked for the first time. We also catch up on Rayna cruising for dudes, Ashley's latest sex tip, and play a new segment titled "That's What She Said." Hope you enjoy! Follow Brian on Instagram @ItsBrianPark and check out his podcast Feeling Asian. Follow us @GirlsGottaEaPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Klarna: Download the Klarna app to shop thousands of online stores and pay in four easy, interest-free payments. Raycon: Get 15% off your order at buyraycon.com/gge. Feals: Become a member at feals.com/gge and you'll get 50% off your first order + free shipping. Daily Harvest: Get $25 off your first box at dailyharvest.com with promo code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

She's like, I know you're really, I know like this is really hard for you as a guy and like you're beating yourself up over it. All I heard was hard in beating. Fuck me. What the fuck. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back. I have no idea why you're laughing. I was looking around your apartment and I noticed this photo that Francis Ellis got you. And it's so much bigger than the gift that I got you. It's so large.

you can use it as the headboard for a twin bed. He got me a framed photo of us at the stand for my birthday. And it's pretty big when he called. He was like, is it too big? Or I called him to thank him. And he was like, he was like, he's a too big. I was like, yeah, it's like a wall piece. I'm actually just thinking to getting a mural drawn,

so it's a little smaller than the actual thing. It's not, though. It's like a normal. I'm trying to compare. It's huge. And it's right next to the thing you got me. That's all of our photos together. It's 50 photos from 50 shows.

And it is double the size. You could, like, float down a lake on that thing. It's so big. Like, if Jack and Rose were on something that big, Jack wouldn't have died. Like, it's going to cockpock me? Yes. No.

God damn it, Francis. It's twice the size of my gift to you. It's large, and it's neon. It's not, no. Just in case you missed it, like, it's neon. It's just bright. colors. It's a great photo and a very thoughtful gift. I can't stop laughing. I'm staring at it. It's right in front of me. I can't have that there.

It's so big. Every dude that walks in here is going to be like, that's your boyfriend, right? Like, should you put a photo of him and his girlfriend next to that? Just, oh my God. I'm going to actually put it above the bed next to a photo of my dad. You know, really cock-block myself. I mean, we don't, we just look what we were doing stand-up. Yeah, I know. You don't look like you're like in an embrace, but like maybe you should have one of those like name plates that says like not my man under it. Okay. The reason why it's so funny is because it's next to yours. And there's like not much else up there either. It's like a clock and a photo and an empty vase. And well, there was a plant in there that Merrill got me, but it died. You know what? We have never talked about my spider plant. Okay. I wanted to address this.

This was in 2019. And I went home and this was after you had moved and you were all in your plant. You were like a plant lady. You remember? Obviously. I remember. Do you remember today? So you moved March 2019 and I think I went home at some point and my mom was like so amped up that you were so into plants now and stuff. And so she sent me with like a little tiny spider plant in this cute blue vase to give to you. And I drove back to New York. I had it on the floor of my car so it wouldn't spill. And I was like so excited to give it to you. But then I just got attached to it. And I was like, I was like, I want it. You talked to it. And I found some sunlight in my old dark apartment, the old house studio.

And I was like, this is mine. This is mine now. I don't even have one plane in here. This is from my mom. And you were like, it's fine. Keep it. I have a million of these fucking things. And so I held on to it.

And then I moved it into this apartment. Like the day I moved, I carried it down the street. It was like the sentimental thing. It was the first thing I put in this apartment. It was just like this really special thing. It's been growing. I've been taking care of it. It is thriving.

When I left for three months, I was like, well, it's dead. And I just was really upset about it. Because I took care of this. I kept it alive for nearly a year. and I was just upset to come back. I came back. It was just brown strings.

Because you hadn't watered it since March. Since March. I had not watered since March. It was just like dead. It was totally dead. It was literally dead. And I was like, I don't know. Let me just see what happens if I water it.

And it came back to life. It's really crazy. It is, it's growing. It's full green. It's beautiful. It's like it never. had a three-month dry spell. There is a metaphor about sex in there.

I can't think of it. I'm not going on. It's like you're all dried up since March and like one dick goes in. You're just like a whole new person. It doesn't look like it never happened. And my mom is such a planned person. She was like shook by it. But she was like spider plans are like really resilient. So if you guys want a plant that I guess is impossible to kill, it really, it made me so

happy. I can't believe the way it looks. It looks like nothing bad has ever happened to it. You're a plant mom now. But I did kind of think back to you saying that one of the first times we traveled after you got all your plants, that some of them did die and you were able to bring them back to life. But after like a week. So a girlfriend of mine stayed at my apartment and like I guess she went there and like I had

that air conditioning on you in July. New York is like 95 degrees every day. And so half the plant died, I came home to a plant holocaust and she made little gravestones out of paper around all the little plants. Do you remember this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them came back to it. Yeah, some of them are very resilient.

And well, Calothea's will come back to life really easily. I have a nerve plant that, like, kills itself every three days. And I water and it comes back to the vibe. Yeah. Every three days, it just abdicates living. So dramatic. Yeah. But the one you mentioned, the vase that's empty.

It was a plant that Merrill got me when I moved in, and that one had no chance. No, that one, really. But also it was in direct sunlight. I know. This has been your plant education for the day, guys. You know what? Let's just get into it. No, I'm just kidding.

Okay. Rayna, do you want to talk about how Cosmo featured? I have been laughing all morning at this. I can't stop laughing about it when I think about it. It's just like, I always wanted, like, publications to spontaneously write about me for no reason. And, like, that's what being a famous person's like, they just quote you for no reason. And it's just like, we got this email that was like, hey, would you like J.P. Sacks to be on your show? Is my saying his name, right?

Is it Sakes or Sacks? whatever you guys know I referenced the song if the world was ending and I talked about how I like got high and thought about my ex and just listened to it on repeat well this his rep linked a Cosmo

article and they were writing about the song and the article says what does the article title? Also while we have a sec that was our should you get back with your ex episode from two weeks ago and we talked about that song kind of at length

yes and so I do feel personally victimized by the title of the article please stop using the song if the world was ending as an excuse to text your toxic ex. But you didn't. I didn't actually. I exercised self-control, which is not often for me.

Anyways, obviously is that everyone in their feels including Girls' Gotta Eat podcast host, Raina Greenberg, who mentioned that she listened to the song on repeat one night while considering texting her ex. I am in a major publication and the article says,

Greenberg is single and lonely. That's what the article says. On repeat. On repeat. while thinking about her ex. And it's just like, it's so embarrassing because you get the visual of you

crying alone. Into your wine glass and the song ends and you run it back. Right back. Let me cry again. While like looking at old photos in me and him.

And now I'm like thinking about, should I put this on my Instagram story? Because like all of my exes will see this and all of them will assume it's about them. No one knows who it's about. Like it's such a deep cut. It's not even really like an end. X X.

Yeah, it's like my man that wasn't my man. No, he was like my man, but he wasn't like my man, man. It's so embarrassing. I can't live. You always want to be like quoted in a major publication for your work, but this is not the work. And I still, I'd put money on the fact that they got the idea from that article from us. I'm sorry. That song is not brand new.

All of a sudden we talk about something that's not new. And a bunch of articles pop up about it. I'm just saying, Cosmo, show us the receipts if you didn't get it from us. I want the paper trail. Sometimes I don't make a big enough deal about some things. Like, this is so humiliating. Like, imagine you're just a regular girl sitting in bed. You're like me, sitting in bed, thinking about your ex.

And then, like, you talk about it to some friends. It doesn't end up in Cosmo. Right. Like, you're like, oh, my God, I played this song 12 times in a row. I'm so embarrassed. And then Cosmo writes about it. You're like, no one will ever know. This is so humiliating for me.

Well, I would love to take this moment. moment to plug myself. Thank you. No, I do feels playlists every year. Like, basically a song that I hear that comes up on my Spotify that makes me feel a certain way.

Makes me have, like, you know, feel emotions and I throw it into this playlist. So I've been doing it since 2017. And I think maybe in 2016, some are weaker than others. 2020 is coming along pretty well. 2018, I feel like some of my best work. 2019 is one of the weaker ones.

There's just not as many songs on it. You weren't sad enough in 2019. Yeah. And I feel like that's what, That's the problem. We were happy in 2019. I know. 20-20 list can be fire. Yeah, 2020 is coming along strong. I feel like 2020 is just going to be like angry or dad kind of music.

Like, you know, you just cry to it because you're like mad at the world. Well, there's so, the thing is, is like, so many songs are about exes because it's just the nature of songs that invoke feelings like that. Yeah. So if you read the playlist, you'd be like, is she okay? But yeah, there is a point where it was like, there, like, I'm just going to read some titles. call me back. You broke me first. I miss you. I'm sorry. Unmiss you. If you're meant to come back. Someone you loved.

Girl, you better hope to God Cosmo never gets a hold of this list. But it's not, it's just, it's what it is. And that's just a sample, you know, for, for humor effect. But like, people, a lot of people have messaged me about this. They, they get you in your feels. If you're feeling too sad and you are missing somebody, I don't recommend them. But it's just the nature of those songs. I hear a song. I'm like, oh, that's hit me in a certain way. And then the title's like, please come back to me.

I'm like, God damn it, but it's got to go on the list. You know, Cosmo's going to write about this next week. They're going to be like, sad single girl, Raina Greenberg's co-host, also sad single girl, Ashley Heseltine. But guys, hit up that 2018. There are six and a half hours on that one. And again, you know, you got a lot of likes. I do, I do on Spotify.

We love Spotify. So, you know, sit and cry. Maybe Cosmo will write about it. so humiliating. Well, stay tuned, maybe we'll have J.P. Sacks on the show. Yeah, maybe. Okay, what else? I have been really committed to cruising for men lately now that I'd like to correct you

and say, trolling for dick is the phrase you like to use. Okay, it's the same thing. It's just a little more degrading like that, which I like. All the outdoor seating is open in New York City, spaced out, and I've just been, like, hitting the streets. People are hornier than ever. This is horny girl summer. Okay, no one has ever been hornier than like the population, like millennials in New York City this summer.

It's wild. Oh, God, yeah. People just want to fuck everything. You can just smell it. And it's just like, I'm one of them. I am too. And it's just like every group of dudes that walk by, I just like, I'm like, hey, you, you're cute. Do you want to sit here?

Do you want to talk to us? Hey, what's up? I just talked to everyone. I said the craziest thing to somebody the other night. Okay. I didn't even tell you the full story. I'm so excited. I don't know any of it.

this. You know part of it. Okay. I was like making eyes with this guy and then I saw that he was on a date with somebody and I was like, damn it. But I could tell from their dialogue they were on like probably a first date and I looked really cute. And I was wearing this like really cute little romper. And so I was in line for the bathroom and he gets behind me. Like, okay. Not like right up turned on me. And I like leave the bathroom and I was like bathroom's all yours. And he was like, you look really good. That like romper. He's like, you do a great job. And it looks very sexy. And out of my mouth comes, you should take it off me sometimes. You did not do that to a stranger in the bathroom line.

You did not say that. He said, he looked sexy and he liked my rapper. You're out of control. I was with Grace Atwood, which you explained a lot. I was four and a half years. You were wasted. Yes. You were black.

You barely remember this. I barely, I probably slurred it out. And then. You should take it off me some stuff. Yeah, it probably sounded more like that. Is that one of the rumpers you would have drive to Brooklyn to get? No. Okay.

This is from urban outfitters. I can't recommend it enough. And then that guy, walked out of the bathroom and sat down with his date, like 10 feet away and started immediately making out with her. Because you turned him on. Yeah, well, you're welcome, sir. That girl on that date reaped the benefits. I'm just paying for her. They were so drunk also. Like, he doesn't remember it. He like sat right back down with her. I'm not kidding you, though. That definitely turned that guy on and he had someone to go fucking slob all over. Good for them. I'm just out of

doing God's work. You are. I know, doing the Lord's work. And also, like, I just, you know, sometimes you're just like, I can't believe that just came in my mouth. Like, he fucking started it. He started. This fucking guy who's on a date with someone else, he started it. Oh, my God, though. He said, you look nice in that rumpur. You're like, you shake it off of me. He said, you look really sexy. You're doing a great job in that. So yeah. And I was the grace. So I was drunk. Yeah. But, so I've been running around trolling for dick.

Safely. Safely, outdoors with Mass on, but also, um, troll responsibly. I just want to say, like I ran into a group of our listeners the other night.

And every time, we always say that. Yeah, the good ones. You may always say, like, we choose, like,

the prettiest coolest listeners. Like, every time I listen, every time I meet our listeners, I'm just like, I would be friends with you. Like, you're so awesome.

And I met this group of girls and they sent shots over to us. And it was just like so sweet. And I just, I don't know. I love meeting them in the wild because every single time I meet a listener, I just feel like I would be friends with you. I love that. I'm proud of that. I had kind of an awkward run with one of our listeners on the beach and Dewey. I didn't tell you about this. We were leaving the beach. Louise and I, of course, I'm talking probably loudly. And this girl goes, Ashley? Like, she heard my voice and probably was like, wait, that's her voice. The podcast just come on somewhere. And she was like, Ashley, oh my God. I thought that was your voice. And I'm like, what was I even saying? God. But she was like, hi, I'm like, you know, I love the podcast.

And she was so cute. She was wearing an Eagles hat. And I was like, thank you so much. I mean, I am so out of it walking off the beach. I'm so tired and blocked out from the heat. I just don't even know what's happening. And I was just like, thanks so much. And then we were walking away.

And I was like, nice to see you. I mean, meet you. I mean, go birds. And it was so awkward. Louisa, like, impersonated me after. She was like, nice to meet. I mean, go birds. Like, it was so awkward.

So sorry to that girl for seeing me in my true. leaving the beach state. Just yell out, go birds. Every time, like, just like a bunch of words start falling out of my face hole, I'm just like, I can't believe how uncool I just sounded. And I didn't think it was that uncool. And then Louisa goes,

I love when your friends, like, are there for it so they can continue to mock you for it. Oh, and then this mom. Oh, you were there. We told you. The mom ran up, she ran up to us on the beach. This is in the morning we were walking to do what you guys were so far ahead. Like, you and Kate and everybody had like,

but it was just Louisa and I. And so I was just me and Louisa. and she ran up and she was like, my daughter's such a fan. And she was too embarrassed to come over. And then I just like waded her daughter down the beach. She was like all the way down the beach. And I was like she should have come over.

You know, it was like a mom chased us down the street. And she goes, she said, are you the other one? Louisa? It was so funny. Louise was like, no. But Louisa thought it was so funny

because she was like, I saw this woman, you know, maybe in her 50s, you know, running up to the beach. She figured that she was going to be like, I know your mom. You know, like, she didn't see that coming. It was like really cute and sweet. I love them.

I just love that. Are you the other one? Are you the other? I'm super fat. Also, Louisa has a great body. I would be flattered for anybody to mistake me for Louisa anytime. She is so hot. Okay.

I just want to give a quick bush update because we didn't. I did go get that bikini wax before we went to the beach, bikini sugaring. And something was funny that I thought was funny in the moment, but didn't realize how funny it was until I recounted it to you. And first of all, had a lovely experience. I talked to the woman the entire time.

I know everything about her life. When I was telling Louise on the drive down, everything I knew about this woman. She was like, what? She was dying laughing. She was like, you knew she had nausea when she was pregnant. You know how old her brother is. Her brother is in his, he's, she was 46, he's 50.

Still with his wife. They met when he was 18 and she was 30. That's wild. Isn't that wild? That's a wild age difference. I guess I don't really have a lot of room to talk. No, you have zero room. I've never.

10 years younger than you. But, you know, yeah, so I am 28, so I guess it tracks. But no, I just thought that was crazy. That was my favorite thing she told me. When she told me that they met when he was 18 and she was 30, I go, what? Like, I'm sure all other people in the salon like heard me. But she had to, you know, follow safety protocols. I absolutely wear my mask the whole time, hand sanitized and everything.

And she was wearing a mask, but then like a shield over it. Like the big shields, like the hazmat big shields. Like their eyes are protected, their whole face. there's like no like pussy air to face contact. So when I told me, Brady, you were like, she had to wear a shield to wax your pussy. A literal shield. I don't know why you didn't think this is funny.

I'm so mad you didn't take photos. No, I know. And you never want to, like, she was so cool that I could have easily been like, do you mind if I get a photo? And like, that would have been the funniest thing of like, here's what happens. We knew you have to wax a vagina after four months of quarantine. It would have.

The shield. I know. We should go back. It's so funny. I'll take, I'll look at your vagina. I just take that photo. To her someone to walk in like a full hazmat gear to wax your pussy.

No, she was wonderful though. Ashley's like, um, is this like a new protocol? She's like, no, it's just for you. It's just for her. She goes, I listen to the podcast and, um, I knew. I just knew that I had to wear this. That's so funny. I wish I had a photo.

Right. She brings out the weed whackers so hair doesn't fly up in her eyes. Um, I feel like everyone has gone through that in the last couple weeks, though, now that everything's opening. If somebody has photos, I want to see. Yeah. Your waxers and hazmat suits. Okay.

And then I have a sex tip. Okay. Don't worry. I have not been getting laid. I don't want to give anybody the wrong idea. Yeah. Like, yeah. That your sex life is.

This isn't a sex tip I've been able to use. I want to be clear. Totally. Just so you know, Cosmo let people know also that I too am not getting laid. I don't know because I, you know, I run our Twitter. And I tweeted a tweet so we could use it as a meme. And it said, do I miss my ex?

Or have I just been in a five month, five month dry spell during a pandemic? It wasn't, you know, we collaborated on that statement together so we could tweet it and then use it on our Instagram. But of course, someone replied and goes, I know Ashley wrote this. No. Seriously? And then she followed up and said, I know, Raina doesn't have dry spells. I didn't even like it. I was like, fuck you.

I don't. That is fucking fruit. Thank you. And bitch, you're right. You know what? Lokey, thank you. But listen, okay, would you rather be in a dry spell or have your dad know that you sucked off a stranger on your couch two weeks ago.

100% dry spell. 100%. I would trade that blowjob for literally anything. To never hear your father say to you, I don't mind that you gave a blow job to a stranger. I can't. You know, sometimes there's like you can put yourself in other people's shoes, which you should do, you know, and that creates empathy and, you know, the whole thing. I can't put myself in, I cannot picture that happening to me.

I have a mental block of even trying to imagine it. That's how terrifying it is. You should have that metal block. No one should go through this. No one should ever hear your father say that. He's like, I've heard this stuff before. I'm like, not for me. He asked me how your B-hole was doing again.

My God, I just cleaned it with the tushy. You did? I walked in here. The first thing actually said to me was, do you want to clean your b-hole? All right, let me run through the sex dip really quick. Okay. It's going to be a, I do real deal.

Fucking plug for Amazon, but whatever. I got an Amazon Echo. dot, which is great. Small. Great. I wanted to bring an Alexa to the beach with us because I just like that anybody can tell it what to play and you don't have to worry about music and everybody feels like they can control the music. So I got the dot. It's 50 bucks. The one I got is $60 and it has the time across it. It's got an LED time. So it's like so perfect to I love it. To see the time. I love it so much. So great. Two things. I'm loving it because what I'm doing now is keeping it by my bed and using it as my alarm and I'm putting my phone in another room.

Like I'm not going to bed with my phone. Yeah. It's been really. really great. And I love the way you have the setting on your Alexa app that it wakes you up. I like the sound. Obviously, I chose a sound I like and then the volume goes up. And so it makes sure it wakes you up. And then you just tap the top to snooze. I'm loving it as an alarm clock. And then my phone's out of my room. I am going to love this for sex because sex playlists. You know how much I love having music on during sex, but it's always weird because my big speaker is in the living room. And so once we get into the bedroom to fuck, you can barely hear it anymore. And then it's like, are you using your phone to control it?

Like I basically have a nice Bose Wi-Fi speaker and I control it with my Spotify until I got the Alexa. And so now I'm like, I just get to be in the bedroom fucking and just tell Alexa to play whatever. Uh-huh. I am so amped on this. I love this. And now I want to get it. But then I'm like, what if the guy and I start arguing? He's like, Alexa play DMX.

And I'm like, Alexa play Rihanna. And we just start going back and forth. Can you imagine? I love this. Also, I think this is so exciting. Now I want to do it. Now I want to get one for my bedroom to. I'm not like a big sex to music person, but I could be.

That's what I'm saying. And, like, I've had these moments, and I'm just thinking of the last person I slept with, where we had a good playlist going when we were, like, making it on the couch. But by the time we moved into the bedroom, we can't hear the speaker anymore. The ACs run it, like, whatever. And so I'm like, it's right by the bed, control the volume. It's so small and cute. Look at it. She's so cute.

I miss it. I miss our vacation. Okay, now I'm just curious, like, what the funniest things that girls have heard us say that have, like, improved their sex lives. Because I feel like this is going to, like, improve sex lives. Yes. I love how excited you are about it. Well, I got these two DMs this week, and I was like, I can't believe I'm doing, like, the Lord's work. One of them said, thank you so much for normalizing watching lesbian porn.

And I was able to tell my boyfriend that I like it. She was, like, so excited. And she watched lesbian porn with her boyfriend. And I was, like, so thrilled, even though I'm a straight porn watcher now. I came out as a straight porn. And then this other girl told me that I inspired her to peg her boyfriend. And it was, like, such an amazing experience. And now it's her birthday.

And she's going to do it again. Oh, happy birthday. I just, like, I love these, like, little tips. And it just, like, brings me so much joy to know that, like, the Alexis sex playlist could like rev up your sex life. And I just, it makes me so happy. Well, and we talked about this was so long ago, oh my God, this was like the first

guy I was sleeping with at the very beginning of the podcast, but how he, we had on like Rihanna and he, what did he do? We had the videos. Remember he had the TV, came out of the wall and then he was playing like videos. He's still your Netflix? Are you still his? I logged into my Netflix like a few

months later and he had watched Scarface and like all these mob movies. I was like, I'm changing this password. I mean, whatever. I'm glad he got some time. Yeah, I wonder what he's up to. I want to like run through a list one day of like, where are they now? Guys are the podcast. I can check in with them. He's, he like invited me to a Halloween party months later. I was like, I'm not answering this. But anyway, people DM'd me of like I never thought to even have music on during sex. And I mean, Rihanna's anti-album is every single song, for the most part is like a sex song. Okay, guys, get an Alexa dot. A dot is what it's called? Echo, well, people call it an Alexa, which of course, that's what I do too, but it's the Amazon EchoDot. But I do, and that

one with a time is like an extra 10 bucks. Extra 10, I'll take it and play that, play that, play that album. And I want to hear how the orgasms were. For sure. It thrills me. Yeah. I have a few playlist. I have an old one called sexiest playlist ever that people still say they found because

it's so deep on my Spotify. I would not recommend the my feels playlist unless you want to like cry during sex. But there's so many, there's so many sex playlist on Spotify that other people have made to. And I saw recently like BuzzFeed did a roundup. like scoured people's sex playlist to find like the best artist and songs to fuck to

and masturbate too. I think Rihanna is the best. I can't masturbate. And the weekend, obviously. It's like if you're ever in doubt just say like Alexa play the weekend. Oh, is that good to fuck to? The weekend?

Yeah, I don't know. What's your go-to song to fuck to? I mean, I think often. Often. Wait, what song is this? Okay, let's play it. Yeah, you know that. I'm like horny thinking about having sex to this song.

Wow, you could like make some nasty love to this. Yeah. I feel like you can't spit in someone's mouth to this. It's just like pull back. That's DMX right there. What these bitches want. Open your mouth, bitch. Oh my God.

Do you think that guy knows that I talk about him just every week on the podcast? We've talked about him every week for like five weeks now. I mean, I feel like I knew it was going to happen the next, like, when I couldn't locate you the next day till like 2 p.m. And I was like, we got stories coming in hot. That's going to last us for a minute. Wait the day after I slept with that guy. Yeah, I went to brunch alone. You did? Yeah, I went. I mean, it was fine. In Brisbane. In Brisbane, yeah. I got two, I got two entrees at breakfast. Like we've been doing. Oh my God. I do remember that now. Yeah, I got up and then I like came. I mean, I don't, I didn't care. I was just having like my morning to myself. And then you finally surfaced.

That's right. And then I like came into your room and was like, hmm, smells like sex in here. Smells like Bidissie in here. Do you know, but dizzy dick and pussy? Buccy. Just an old school Bernie Mac. Wait, what movie is that?

What movie is that? It's Bernie Mac. But I don't know. I don't remember. I don't either. Don't DM us. We can Google it. Yeah, we'll just look it up after this.

Like people with the internet. Okay. We have a very special guest in the house studio with us in Dewey today. He is a comedian, an actor. He is the host of Feeling Asian podcast. He wants us to let you know how attractive he is. He is also going on his first date since March. Please welcome to the house studio, Brian Park.

What's going on? Hi. He didn't say that. Thank you for the lovely intro. Out of context, it sounds fucked up. Yeah. He is attractive. Yes, you are.

Thank you. Honestly, this is something I'm trying to get better about is just receiving compliments. Uh-huh. Oh, good. Yeah, but especially in the realm of anything in terms of your looks and makes me severely uncomfortable

to just be like, thank you. Pause and just acceptance and the other person judging you for being like a psycho narcissist. So if you meet a girl and she's like, you're really good looking, like what happens to your body? Do you get like really uncomfortable? Well, that sounded surprised. which I don't like that.

Like if a guy said to be like, wow, you're, you're good looking. I'd be like, why are you so surprised? That is straight. It's like a weird nag when people are like, you're better looking than in your photos. Yeah. I've definitely gotten that before on online dates, though, where the girl will be like, oh, you actually look like your photos.

But I think that speaks to just, yeah, online dating in general. So I don't take it personally. We're going to talk about your first online date, which is tomorrow. But I have to just recap that we were. posts to record with you back in March. Yes. You and I met at a comedy show, maybe in like January or something. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. Or maybe at the end of the 2019, but we're, I just wanted to read these DMs just so we can like, you know, reminisce on pre-quarantine times. But I just think these are really funny. You and I are going back and forth. What day are you thinking? We're open. Wednesday might be good.

Let me know. And then it's like second week in March, you write, Wednesday is good unless a mass quarantine happens. Ha ha. Ha ha. and then I go, and then you said, what time? And I said, BRB, I wanted to check with Raina, the following day. BRB, and then Ashley, then Ashley, moved back to New York three months later.

The following day, I said, how does Tuesday work? How does Tuesday work? We'll have a fresh mic cover for you. We're like trying to be careful, you know? And you're, hey, Ashley, unfortunately, I can no longer do the pot this week. I went back to Texas basically. Oh, my God. I just thought that was so funny when I looked back at our communication of like,

we really try to make this happen. And you're, ha, ha, unless the quarantine. happens. That's hysterical. There's like, that is the most loaded ha ha ha. It was like 20-20. Ha-ha. Like, this isn't going to happen. Of course there won't be a mass quarantine and this isn't going to be a gravely dangerous situation. Yeah. And I'm not, yeah, and then me being like, let's still try. And then you were like, I'm leaving. And honestly, I never thought it would get to this. And then when I saw people slowly start to leave the city, like people I thought are like smart and do the right thing. Yeah. That probably reinforced me being like, oh shit.

Yeah, I told her it was going to get really bad, but when men told her that it was going to get really bad, but she was like, yeah, she's like, I believe in now. It was all, it was just men. It was Francis and Brian and Bobby. That's really, yeah, I was like, this is really bad. And now she was like, fuck you. The men, the men told her. Yeah, three dudes, this is some serious shit now.

Three comedians. Three male comedians. Three scientists, yes. Okay. So, yes, you told us you have not been on a date. since a mass quarantine, ha ha. Yeah, since mass quarantine, ha, ha, I have not been on a date. But you're about to.

I'm about to, yes. I am, I'm like nervous, but also excited. And there's like a lot of feelings involved because I came back to New York like two weeks and a half ago, but I had a quarantine for a couple of weeks. And now I'm like, oh, I'm back in the city. Like the prospect of dating is available now. I'm kind of giddy. I'm kind of excited.

let's see what's out there. And then I have my first date. We matched on Hinge this Wednesday. Now, a previous guest of this podcast, I'd say maybe two episodes ago. Yeah, two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, yeah. Dylan Pallet, you know,

very, very good friend of mine. He texts me and he's like, hey, I'm in your neighborhood. I just want to say, what's up? Are you around? And I'm like, yeah, for sure, let's do it. We hang out on my stoop. We're talking.

We're catching up. And he's like, hey, what's going on with you? Like, are you going on any dates? And I'm like, yeah, I'm actually on my first date this Wednesday. Check her out. I think she seems really cool. Showed him a picture of her on my phone, the hinge profile. And his response is, holy shit.

I literally got this girl's number yesterday. And I have plans to hang out with her next week. It's so crazy. But what happened next was how did you guys decide who gets her first? Now, this is the thing. I wasn't really sure how to, then it becomes like a competition in a way. And I don't like knowing that.

And so I was like, do we just both go on a date with her? At the same time. We just both show up. A bachelor two on one. She has to like eliminate somebody by the end. We bring one rows and be like, this is going to be,

you're going to need this later. No question. This is just take it. It's all going to make sense two hours from now. Oh, my God. I find it interesting because there's a lot of similarities between you guys. You know, like I find your humor to be similar. You both don't really drink, which we'll talk about. You're both comedians.

Like, you guys are very similar. Are you same age? I'm a little bit older. You're older than that. Yeah. And I think you have told Dylan that he is immature. And given that I am three years older than him, I'm offended now. Are you reading our text messages?

Yeah. Okay, so what happened? Did we finish the story? No, we didn't finish the story. So what ended up happening, I feel like I, I think Dylan has the power play here where he texted her. Because he said that he,

he didn't text her for a while and was like, oh, this will be a good excuse. So he texted her, like, hey, you matched on Hinge with one of my best friends. You should go on the date with him. He's a great guy and just like left it at that. Oh God, Dylan. trying to be like a seat.

Like, you bowed out. Okay, would that make you be turned on or would you be like, fuck that guy? How would you feel

if a guy was like you matched to my friend? I'm going to secede. I think that Dylan knew that that would make her want to go out with him. You think power move. It's a power move.

I disagree with you guys. I would just be like, I think that I'm probably a little more sensitive and I'd be like, oh, you're not attracted to me or something. I think I'd take it personal

more than I would think it was a power move. I'd be like, oh, But Dylan's whole logic, and we kind of came to this consensus, is that this is like a great icebreaker. So when I do see her in person on Wednesday, it'll be like, hey, you match with my friend Dylan. Yeah. And then just see where the conversation goes from there.

So we're going to have her on. You guys are going to have her on. After both dates, and then she's going to rate you guys. It's going to be great. I'm so in. It's going to be a bonus episode. I can't wait. I can't wait.

Oh, God. I hope it works out. hopefully we'll see how it goes but I've mentally made a note Dylan and I are very different looking people like he's like a six foot six very burly man yeah and I am me and so uh we'll see how it goes and if she chooses Dylan that I'm just going to say I'm okay you're racist but then yeah right just pull the race card exactly 100% and then if she likes me then it's like okay great 100% I deserve this you're a good person but I like this feeling you were talking about this like giddiness because like I walk around New York City like this week last week and I feel that energy of like

people are starting to date again. People are coming out of their hobbit holes. People are getting like, they're getting their vaginas wax. They're getting their manicures. They're getting back out there. They're like ready to fuck. I feel the horniness in the air just everywhere. Like palpable. It's just like I like and I just like was just like she episode title. So many guys I was meeting the other night. It was just like so many groups. Everybody's just out wanting to fuck and I feel that like excited giddy energy everywhere. And it's exciting. I don't know what to expect.

I've heard you talk about app dates on your podcast. Yeah. And you, you said that you were like on the apps like immediately when they came out. Right. I was like a Tinder beta user. And part of it being because you don't drink. Yeah.

Can we talk about this? Yeah, for sure. So I don't drink because I basically am allergic to alcohol. Oh my God. Okay. Yeah. Even if I drink kombucha. like GT Dave's kombucha at Whole Foods, I get ill.

Oh my gosh. And like I turn bright red. A lot of Asian people turn very red when they drink. And I have that times like one million. So I just don't drink whatsoever. Great. Yeah. Did you realize this in like high school or?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But did you get any drunk nights under your belt? No. I physically can't get drunk. So anytime like I will, I force myself to drink just to just be like a normal person at a party or at any social function.

but instead it would just be me like not enjoying myself and it's just a ticking time bomb of like, okay, this is how much I've had and I am going to get violently ill in like 45 minutes. Wow. So let's make the most of this 45 minutes.

Pick up as many chicks in this 45 as I can. Do you do drugs? Do you smoke weed or anything? I used to. So in college when I realized I couldn't drink, I was just like a humongous pot head and would just smoke 24-7 but now I'm like completely straight edge. I don't smoke pot anymore. I don't do,

I don't really do anything. Okay. Yeah, I know it makes me sound really square. No, it doesn't. It makes me think that apps are a great thing for you, because I think that, like,

it's a great way of narrowing down the playing field. Sure. I mean, I just like the apps because it's a very upfront way for me to disclose this information because, I mean, I used to have a lot of social anxiety

that was stemmed from my inability to drink because I just felt like people were judging me or I just didn't feel comfortable. And also, even if I'm at a bar, I just always felt like kind of creepy being like, hey, like, I'm not drinking. I'm totally sober, but what's up? Like, you know what I mean? And the, so that's why I like the apps. It's like, I can be up front and be like, hey, I don't drink for this reason. And I understand like some women like drinking is like really important for them. So it's like, okay, if that's something that you look for in a partner, that's great. Like, you know, that's, I totally understand. But if you're okay with that, then it doesn't have to turn into this whole thing. So I want to talk about dating. Yeah. Because I mean, once you get past the like, she agrees to go out.

all, you know, what kind of stuff do you like to do? And, you know, do you, I don't know. I mean, I, I, we just haven't discussed this in the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. When do you, so like, when do you bring it up? You bring it up like on the app. Hey, just letting you know I don't drink. Yeah, I bring it up on the app. Okay. Yeah. Like after, well, let's say I propose something. So I'll just be like, hey, full disclosure, I don't drink because I am allergic to alcohol. Now, I'm totally down to like meet up at a bar. If that's something you're comfortable with, no judgment on my end. If you want to drink, totally fine.

But if you prefer to be sober, since I'm sober, we could do something else. Okay. Yeah. What kind of stuff do you like to do? Like, will you go get coffee or will you go, like, do an activity or something? I prefer, coffee is like, if they don't want to drink, then coffee is the easiest thing. But I would say, like, in most instances, women, like, they're okay with it.

Sure. Yeah. We're not coming at you like a, I can't imagine. We're just trying to talk it through because we haven't discussed it before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wouldn't make me be like, absolutely not. I dated one guy that didn't drink, but we met at DUI school. So it's like that's what we didn't drink.

He didn't have a plate. So I wouldn't drink around him. But that was probably the first guy dated that didn't drink. And it really made me feel like we really liked each other because we were sober, you know, like the whole, the whole time. Like you don't have to wonder, did they say this? they'd had a few too many or did we just vibe and make out because we were drunk. Like, I don't know. It kind of got, we, we liked each other and it was like, it felt real. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Also, just to back up, you know, guys don't drink and drive, drink responsibly.

You know, I made mistakes well over a decade ago. And I do not recommend trolling for dudes at DUI school these days. I don't think you're going to find any winners in there. So I was curious if you've ever encountered any issues with people you like date. dated, like a girlfriend, that it was, it got weird at all? Or has it never really been an issue? It hasn't really, but I mean, they're definitely, I can sense that with some women that I've dated in the past, let's say they really enjoy going out and like getting plastered or like doing a lot of drugs.

No matter how many times I tell them, I sincerely don't care. Like, you can get as fucked up as you want. I still think it, because there's that, like, imbalance in the sobriety, it makes them uncomfortable. So there have been instances where it just, like, became a problem where they would, like, lie to me or, like, uh, non-answer text messages just to, like, have a bender for a night and then, like, reappear. Yeah. Yeah.

Did they, do you feel like you judge people for drinking? No, I don't. So you feel like that's, like, sort of an unfair assessment of you, like, you would have a problem with it. Yeah. I mean, but I, but again, like, I don't, I understand, though. Because it's like, I think it's just a weird thing. Like so much of adult social interaction revolves around drinking. And with that comes, uh, dating, you know?

Like I so wish I could drink because that just seems like the easiest thing to do with a partner or someone you're dating. It's like, hey, let's go like have a glass of wine. It's like a very spontaneous thing. I think it's someone who doesn't drink. There's so much planning that has to be involved because I have to like, I can't fall back on that. Because it's not a fun time. It's like, hey, do you want to like go to a bar and I'm going to drink, sell, and you do your thing, you know.

So it's a lot of planning. So I feel like I'm always like coordinating something. Yeah. Right. And it's also so different. And we'll address this down the road on a future episode. If you guys are curious about someone that doesn't drink from more of an addiction standpoint.

So it's for you, it has nothing to do with being triggered by alcohol. And so someone drinking around you is not a trigger because it's just the ear allergic. It's not that like you are struggling with addiction. Right, right. But I do think that as I've gotten older, it has become less of an issue. And because I think once you hit 30,

you're not like someone's first encounter with someone who doesn't drink. You know, a number of people become sober for a variety of reasons by this time and life. And so just like not a thing. Those are just partying less. Like I just don't need to like go out

and like party the way I used to. Right, right. You know, I've done it. Yeah. Like I'm good. It wouldn't deter me from going on a date somebody, you know. It's not something gross like they have kids.

I'm kidding. I'll take anybody right now. You don't drink. You could feel the energy. I'm telling you. You walk outside. You smell calm. I just feel it everywhere.

It's just people are horny. People are horny. And that's, but that's what I'm doing on this first date with Hinge. It's just like we're going to get ice cream and going to a park. I love that. That's great. Also, right now,

I think we all have to be more creative. I mean, yeah, you can go get drinks on the sidewalk, but like. You can't go sit in a bar. So we all just have to be a little more creative with what we do even just on our friend dates and stuff. You know, I had a girlfriend.

And she was like, I'm not trying to stay safe. I'm not coming into the city. And it was midday. We like ordered sandwiches and sat in the park and had a picnic. Like that would be a great date. I would love if a guy did that. So my high school boyfriend, he set that picnic up for me.

Nobody's ever come close to the room. He picked me up at school with Capriotti's and we just like sat in the park. I just remember in March. When this started happening, weird time, like predictions for how this is going to change dating. And I'm like sort of enjoying what's happening right now because like, number one, you do have to make a plan. Number two, like, it can't be in these like big groups.

So like you are spending a lot more one-on-one time with somebody. It's a lot more thoughtful what you're doing. There's a lot more sober dating. I just have to be more creative in general. Also, like we're not staying at a bar until two in the morning, getting all fucked up, you know, like every time I've gone to a bar in the last like two weeks, it's two drinks and I leave. I leave like not all fucked up and crazy.

And I just feel. like people are like acting better. People are excited to be around other people. They're more like hopeful. They're more. I just, I feel really positive about like how this is going to affect dating, at least for the time being. Yeah.

And wear a mask. When you're fucking. Okay. We want to talk about racial stereotypes. Okay. You lead the charge. I lead the charge. I lead the charge.

No, some of the stuff we discussed. Sure. Yeah. Okay. You're an Asian man. I am an Asian man. Am I the first Asian guest? No.

No. Who's my first Asian? God damn it. It's a quote for the wedding crashers. The wedding crashers. How old am I? It's a quote from wedding crashers. The Vince von quote.

But you are from a Korean family. You grew in Texas. Yes. One other things can I tell you about you? I want to answer your question. You are first Asian man. Not Asian person. Not Asian person.

Okay. Well, let's go. Regardless. But yeah, we want to talk to what's like. what it's like dating as an Asian man, you know, expectations of your parents, and you have said some interesting stuff offline to Ashley,

just in general about being dating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy, you know. I feel like dating as an Asian man in America is, it's pretty, I don't know, I can only speak to my personal experience, and it's been somewhat complicated

and it's very much tied to how I relate to my identity. So, you know, I grew up in El Paso, I grew up in Texas, which is there's like no Asian people there. So for really, really long time, I kind of just like prided myself on being. That was like my whole thing. It's like I am, I'm Asian. And that's it.

I'm nothing more, nothing less. Like I just look different from everyone. And it was not going to lie, it was kind of hard because I got teased a lot. And even like growing up and watching movies and stuff, there were like no. No, even to this day, like there's, you really don't see any Asian male sex symbols. I have to say, that's what I love that and what insecure is done. And I feel like, I hate watch that because I audition for that part. Oh, you did.

You audition for Asian Bay. Oh. Trigger. I'm triggered. I'm triggered. You're just as handsome. Your hair just isn't as long. And I don't, I don't want to interrupt you.

But like, I love that they have like sexualized. Yeah. An Asian man. Because you, like you said, you don't see that all the time. You really don't. And I just remember for most of my up, like growing up, I just wished I was, I was like embarrassed to be Asian. I was like, look at, I would like try to like dress like whatever was in GQ magazine or whatever. And I was just like trying to style my hair so it seemed less like quote unquote Asian.

And it reflected in my, especially like in my late teens, early 20s and my dating patterns where, you know, because you grew up in America where there isn't a lot of Asian male, positive Asian male representation, and especially in a sexual light, I think it trickles down and it permeates society where it kind of, you have these implicit biases and you have, at a subconscious level, it affects your, like, perception of Asian men. And there's like studies of it too, like, OKCupid conducted that survey where, you know, Asian men, were considered the least attractive to women. And all of those things, it just, like, reinforce, it just reinforced this idea that I, like, had of myself, where I'm like, okay, like, I guess I'm, like, amasculated. I guess I am, like, pretty feminine in this regard. I guess I, like, I, like, I perceive, since I'm not perceived as a sexual person,

maybe I'm not a sexual person. And it manifested in my dating behaviors where I would, like, try to hook up with white women because that's just what I grew up with where I assumed that is like the pinnacle of attractiveness. And so I would seek out and try to date white women as a means to like prove my masculinity to myself. It's like a really weird, like fucked up thing.

And I'm not that way anymore because I've kind of just accepted a lot of, I don't know, it's just like a lot of self-growth and a lot of reading and like trying to better understand what are like the stereotypes that come with being like an Asian guy and like how do I overcome it and how do I just like

practice more self-love and acceptance because you know it like fucks with you like everyone knows a stereotype about Asian guys having small dicks like it's the elephant in the room right and so it's going like whether you believe it or

not it's in your brain and it's like if it's knowledge that's in your brain, it's impossible to assume that it's not going to, like, influence your perception in any way, shape, or form. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, in the process of, like, learning, it's, it all makes sense, though, because

the reason, there's, like, clear reasons why, like, Asian men don't get as much, uh, positive sexual representation in media, because, you know, it, it, even, like, I learned there's this one actor, like, his name, Sessu Hayakawa. in like the 19, like in the, back when like silent films were a thing, he was like one of the OG sex symbols in America. Oh. Yeah. If you look at Google, I'm like, he's like a handsome motherfucker. But white men hated that.

Yeah. Because they saw that their like peer groups, like their white peers found that like desirable. And so there was like an uptick in negative propaganda directed towards. Asian men as a way to like counteract that. And so there's so many things that are like working to suppress like the sexuality of Asian men. And you know, I grew up in this country. I saw that and it's just something that's like, okay, I guess this is like what I am, you know? Even like the movie Romeo must die. That was in 2000 that had Aaliyah and Jet Li. Now it's a it's a rendition of Romeo and Juliet. They're supposed to kiss at the end. They played the kiss to test audiences

and it did not play well. People were like, this is weird. I don't like seeing an Asian dude being sexual on screen. So at the end, the big culmination is it's just a long hug. And I'm like, that is so awkward and so psycho. Wow. Yeah. I mean, yeah, and I'm glad we're talking about this.

This is something that white people don't have to think about. Sure. You know? Sure, sure. You don't have to think, like, wait, everybody thinks what I am is unsexy and unattractive. and so for sure. I mean, even, again, it's not like, it wasn't that explicit growing up.

I think it's different now because we're all so much more open to having these tough discussions surrounding race, even as awkward as it is, like, it's just a different time now. And the thing, you know, growing up I didn't, it was all subconscious. But like, if I look back on my upbringing, I'm like, oh, that's why I felt the way I felt. That's why it all kind of makes sense. Like, that's why I feel like I didn't have,

I had these desires where I wished I was more white in a certain sense or like I was embarrassed to be Asian or like, you know? Well, it's hard to name it. And also you didn't, I mean, there's probably certain issues that go along with being Asian, but there's also tons of issues that just go along with growing up in a community where you're the only representation of that thing, whether it's Hispanic, whether it's Muslim, whether it's black, whether it's white, you know, to not have any peers around you. to like bounce that off of. For sure. And, you know, I did grow up in predominantly white communities.

Like, I even went to a boarding school for high school, which is just like... Rich. Yeah, it's rich. It's really... It's rich. It's really pretty preppy. And, you know, people would tell me, like, oh, you're really whitewashed, like, for an Asian. And I took it as a compliment. Like, that's something I, like, prided myself on. I was like, oh, I'm not like those other, like, Asian international students who

now are like fucking fly as fuck and dressed head to toe and designer clothes. But like, you know, even at the time I was like, oh yes, like I am more whitewashed. Like that's like a good thing. And my, my tune has changed now, you know, because it's like there's a lot of like internalized racism and like self-hate when that comes with that. Well, I just, I really feel like, again, like the number one thing I guess I can cite now is Asian Bay and insecure. And I noticed the guy on dating around second season in Netflix, like the first episode. Like he was this like shorter Asian guy. He was like so fucking cool. Like I was like, I'm attracted to this guy. Like I'm not a foot taller than this guy, you know, and he was just like so sexy. Like,

you know, all these girls I feel like we're in, we're into it. Um, for sure. I just, I feel like we're seeing more. And I hate to give so much credit to TV and movies and pop culture, but it's, it is what it is. It's like, it is what it is. You know, it's a, it's, it's a, it's impactful. It is very impactful. As like, you know, stupid or inane, like, entertainment seems, especially in these times, the value in it is that it's like an entry point that for a lot of people in terms of like information and just how to, like, affect perceptions. And there is like a lot of, there's been a lot of progress in the last three years, you know, like Asian Bay on Insecure or even crazy rich Asians. Like you like, every guy in that.

movie. Exactly. So now, this is like another conundrum I have. We're like every Asian dude that is getting screen time now. They're all like fucking, they're all like ripped as fuck. Six pack, super sexy. Very, very, very ripped. Like, even look at like Kumel Nanjani. Like, okay. Yeah. Now, now we. The body thing was insane. It was that. What is happening? What is what is going on? Now, I have this, uh, it is interesting. And I think it is a larger commentary on like, just how we perceive masculinity. Because my whole theory on this is that, okay, now we're getting a little bit more screen time for Asian men,

but we're operating on like masculinity 1.0. Whereas like Henry Golding from Crazy Rich Asians, Asian Bay from Insecure, you have Charles Melton from Riverdale. They're all like Greek Adonis bodybuild super jacked. It's like the safest thing. It's the safest play. Whereas, like, if you look at who are, like,

who are, like, sex figures for, like, white male counterparts, I would say right now, arguably, you have, like, you have your Tom Hardy's, you have Adam Driver. But then you also have, like, Pete Davidson or Timothy Shalame. Like, those two are, like, very skinny, very lithe, like, tattooed. It's kind of, like, an artsy vibe. But it is, you're not questioning, like, their sex appeal. Whereas, like, I think, like, that's how you,

I feel like there's more progress to me made, whereas like Asian men, there is no like archetype for that yet, where there is like a Timothy Shalamey, skinny or like, now it's all like Kendall, super jacked six pack looks good. Yeah.

But I think we'll get there. So I think it's like baby steps and it's like, it's just shifting people's mindset like slowly, which I hate that we even have to do. But I mean, I think we're all guilty. Like I'm sure we made a comment about like dick sizes on this podcast before,

you know? Like I don't think it, it's, I think we all have to like watch ourselves. Yeah. But at the same time, it's like, no hard fan. It's just jokes. It's jokes. So many jokes are based on stereotypes.

Right, right. You hear the people those stereotypes are about make the same jokes. I mean, it's just, I don't know. It's comedy is there's a, there's a line there. But I think we all should kind of keep those things in mind. Totally. And I mean, I even experience it personally where it's like a joke I have and I find it very funny where on Hinge, for whatever reason, I feel like there's like a

disproportionate amount of women who like like me because you can like see who swipes right on you. It's like white girls who at some point like lived in like I guess like taught English in Japan maybe for like a year after undergrad. It's always like a photo with like the red wooden

gates. And I'm just like oh like you lived in Asia for a bit and you're like you've seen enough where now you're like oh actually like I can fuck with that. That's if you look on my hinge it's like so much that. I want to go back to this thing you said because I think a lot of people will relate to this Asian or not, of this idea of like you grow up being told that like what you are is not

attractive and like that it affects the way that you like react to the world. And I think it's like I'm five feet tall, you know, not I think men want like Ash is always like I'm five, ten like Cindy Crawford. I think men want women that are taller or men want women that are thinner than me maybe or whatever it is. I think that like we can all sort of relate to this like, well, I was told there's like this thing that people want. And I'm. I'm not that. So like now when I show up, like, how do I feel good about myself? And I'm not, I mean, I feel great about myself.

I'm perfectly fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. But I just, you know, I think a lot of people will relate to that notion of like, I was told my whole life, this thing is not great. And then I show up and how do I still feel great in that situation? So like, how do you, like, personally, like, when you go on a date now, like, how do you still feel great? I mean, you're very attractive guy and you're funny and you're smart.

So, like, that's why you should feel great. You're wonderful. But, like, how do you feel on. dates now. Like, how do you show up now feeling like I'm great? You know, it is, that has been like a process, like, you know, it took time for me to like get to that point. I think now all I can really ask of myself is to just, am I being just myself? Like the most authentic true version of myself, you know? I think we constantly, as humans, like you said, like you can't control your height. those are the cards that you're given.

But we know what is considered or perceived as desirable. And so I think for a long time, especially my early 20s when I was dating, I was always trying to present a version of myself that I thought would be like, quote, unquote, attractive to this other person. And at the end of the day, I think the things that make me feel good about myself is just being myself in the most honest way possible. And even if that includes like saying something that might be like uncouth or opinions that might make me seem insecure.

It's just like, okay, it is what it is. Like, I have these insecurities as a part of myself, but as long as I'm expressing it, I feel good about myself rather than, like, hiding all those aspects of myself. If that makes sense. Yeah. But, like, I could definitely tell when I am the first Asian guy that, let's say, someone is hooked up with

because this has happened on, like, three separate occasions where I take my clothes off. And, like, the first thing they'll say is, like, whoa. Oh my goodness. Whoa. Like your body's so smooth. I did not think that's what you were going to say.

That is that what you were talking about. No. It's like your body's so smooth. And I'm like, oh. Yeah. Yeah. I forget. Like Brian,

there's so many instances where it's been so hard for you to tell you to not just, I just take your shirt off for us. Like just like hairless. Hairless. Hairless. Yeah. Hairless.

And I forget. It's just like, well, you are really hairless. Look his arms. Yeah. Yeah. So it is,

you look great. There's, I would like slide down your body. There's no hair. But like, even for me, that's a realization around. I'm like,

oh, yeah. Like, I guess most dudes are pretty hairy. And like, I never questioned it because this is just my body. Right.

Which is like a porpois like. Like, I don't know. I like it's some smooth body. Okay, this girl, though, that's going out with you and Dylan

could, that's going to be the final, like, determining. How much shoulder hair is the hairiest person? He's like a full, like, oh, yeah. The hairiest, yes, like a shoulder sweater. The shoulder hair. 100%. What's going to end up happening is that she's going to not going to like either of us.

And she's like, honestly, I'm just looking for a dude who has like some chest hair. And that's it. You got through the two extreme. Oh, my gosh. That's such a good call. This is only going to be determined by how. much body hair she enjoys. It's all about the body hair. Yeah, I kind of, I realize that that's like, I kind of buried the lead on that. You kind of thought when I said, whoa, they were going to

like make a comment about like dick size or something. Now, I have this joke where it's like trying to take like a negative stereotype and like spit into a positive where I feel like that small dick stereotype honestly works for Asian men's favor. Because like at that bar is so low. Right. And so like at that point, you got to get to the point where like you are in a sexual situation where like, if you're about to hook up, you, you're already, it's already there, you know, you're going to do it. Unless you're like a really, really, I don't know, I can't speak to your experiences where like, have you just been like so completely turned off by like the size of a man's penis where you just like walked out in that instance? Oh, God, no. No. I just, and personally, my feeling

is that, um, and I've done all the research, the size of a penis has literally, really nothing to do with how much I'm going to enjoy the experience. Like, I just couldn't care less. Like, I mean, I just want like an average size penis. I'm not looking for like a monster of. I had one terrible experience. It was, I mean, it was just with a white guy.

Too big or two small? The smallest thing I've ever. And I had like such a crush in this guy. It was just like, I don't know. I feel like I should have a heads up. Just okay, casual. So like, after a couple drinks, but like, hey, Ashley, so just a heads up. Right. Like, how do you give somebody? My dick is like, you might not. It's. might not know it's there. But I think it was

sophomore year in college, which I did hook up with an Asian guy that year too, which was, that was great. Yeah. No stereotypes in that in the bedroom. Sure. But like even like with the stereotype, like the bar is so low. So at that point, like, this girl probably assumes I have a small dick, so it's only like upside from there, you know? Wait, that's, that's a good call. Let's keep

reinforcing this. No, I'm just kidding. That's like, that's like, that's my, like, that's the takeaway. That is so funny. Yeah, the girls already, they're expecting like nothing and you're like, what's up? Yeah, what's up. Congratulations. Here's this porpoise like body in this. that's like a stereotype we should promote more as our porpoise-like bodies. We also don't smell.

That's a thing. That's like scientifically proven. That Asian people don't smell? Yeah, like Asian people smell less. Like we have less body odor. So you have less hair. I think it's just like a sweat gland thing.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. Well, while we're on the topic, let's talk more about your dick. What about it? And this is something you talk about on your podcast.

We're not like putting you on the spot. We pre-discuss this. So everybody, you know, relax everybody. We're not just like, tell us. This is just how Ashley and Raina have a conversation with someone. This is to a gotcha journalism. Let's talk about your Asian penis. You really did see straight through that.

So you've talked about like on your show that you've had performance anxiety in the past. And we've talked to other guests about that too. And I think that people appreciate like just the advice on like this girl going out with you and Dylan is so. Oh my. God. I'm sorry. I could have I could hold back. Hope you like guys and don't drink and have E.

Great. Oh my God. Right. I'm so sorry. I love it. I love it. It's great. No,

you and Dylan are so open about it. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't roast like a normal person about this. Right. I just, you know, you brought it up.

No, but I think that even in his episode, we got some like good takeaways for like how to deal with it. of like that's happening with your man, how men react to it. So like, we'll love to hear, like,

your experience with it. Yeah. So, about your journey. Let's talk about my performance anxiety. Your porpo's penis. My porpo's penis journey. I mean,

and what we're alluding to is performance anxiety because everyone knows that dolphins, their penises famously are just non-functioning all the time. No, I'm making that up. Okay, so. Stop deflecting, Brian,

from your penis. I'm not deflecting from my penis. No more deflecting from my penis. We're going head on. So, Uh, it's funny that, it's funny that, take it out. It's funny. It all comes back to, you said you like it when your listeners like it when guests talk about other guests.

So it was with Dylan. Yeah. Yeah. So Dylan actually brought up his performance anxiety issues and his erectile dysfunction with me like a few years ago. And I remember thinking at the time, I'm like, dude, that really fucking sucks. Like, that's crazy. That has never happened to me before. Oh.

Oh, yours is new. I was like, oh, this has never happened to me before. This was like five or six years ago. And he planted the seed and ruined your life. No, and then the very next day, I was, I was hooking up with this girl and my dick just wasn't getting hard. Okay. And I was like, whoa, this has never fucking happened to me before. What the fuck is happening to me?

I called, I texted down. I was like, holy shit, dude. I don't know what it is. Like, I think you planted a, you do do do magic to me. You voodoo magic to me. but then from that point forward, it's just been all downhill. Because with that same girl,

she texted me like a few days later. And she's like, hey, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm nothing much. I'm chilling. She's like, come over like,

I'm on my apartment watching a movie. And so the entire time, all I could think about was like, all right, man, the first time your fucking porpo's penis wasn't working. But this time,

it better fucking work. So I'm sitting on the L train And the entire time I'm thinking I'm like All right man You got to prove you got to prove yourself this time You're gonna you're gonna fuck It's gonna be good Your dick better fucking work

And Ashley you already You already know where this is going I just when you started saying I was like I know the story Because it's I listen to his podcast You know you know where this is going And so I I get to her place

She's wearing like She's fucking wearing sexy ass lingerie And she's just like sitting there With her MacBook And I open the door And she's in lingerie doing work. Doing some Excel modeling.

I don't know. So she, she texted me, like math problems in a G-string? You're the one who mentioned work. I don't know. So she was like, hey,

the door's unlocked. I go to her bedroom and she's just chilling there with the MacBook. Here I am in my head. I'm like, all right. I better not blow this, but I'm also like nervous.

I got like nervous shits going on. And I was like, hey, give me like five minutes. I got to go to the bathroom. I'm in the bathroom. I'm taking a nervous shit. Oh, my God. She's doing Excel workbooks.

You're taking a dookie. I'm taking a nervous duke. Oh, my God. This is straight out of like American pie. I'm taking a nervous dukey and I'm thinking in my head. I'm like, I'm like, all right. She's fucking absolute smoke show.

She's in her fucking laundry. She's expecting this fucking D. You better fucking bring it, dude. And like, I'm taking a nervous duke. and it, again, it doesn't, it doesn't happen. She's very visibly upset at this point. Okay. Yeah.

And then from that point forward, it kind of like, I mean, I got the text back the next day. She's like, hey, it's not you. It's me, blah, blah, blah. I don't think we should see each other again. Oh, no. But I don't, again, like, I never blame the other person, you know? Yeah. Like, it's like a totally, sometimes sexual chemistry just doesn't work and it is what it is.

It doesn't, it's not like a personal thing, you know. you won't know until you try it. And for me, from that point forward, it's like, I have this, like, fixation on, like, having to perform. Yeah. Because I think that I was, I really liked her and it really bummed me out so much that I, I just, like, can't turn off my brain when it comes to, like, sexual situations. And it doesn't, I wish I could drink for this reason because I'm, like, so acutely

aware of all my thoughts. Right. And I, like, can't shut it off. And so I. there's been so many more instances of erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety with future sexual partners because I am just in my head thinking

like, oh, I really hope I do a good job because I want to see this person again. And so, but that's just an indication that you're not present anymore, you know? Because if you're thinking like, oh, I really got to do a good job, you're not, it's not going to happen because you're just, you're like mapping it out in your brain of like what I need to do

rather than like being in the moment. It's like a very hard thing where women, they might take it very personally or like they feel like they're not sexy enough or they're not because they think it's like, oh, am I, is it me? Like, am I, am I not attractive to you? Is this why you're not aroused right now? And it's in time, no matter how many times I can like sit you down and be like, it's not you. I'm just a fucking neurotic mess. And it's all in my head. And it's like fucking with my psychology.

and that's why it's making me really anxious and it's not making my dick work the way it should work. It's, I understand that it's still hard for women to just take that at face value, you know? Yeah, but the person is in the room with you. Like, they're in the room with you, they're attracted to you. Just accept it.

Like, it's nobody takes their shirt off and a guy's like, I can't get it up. And it sounds like you were very attracted to this girl. You love the outfit she was wearing. You were like ready to roll. Like, I think it actually has nothing to do with how you love. I literally think it's the opposite. And it's never happened to me

and it makes me think I'm just not hot enough. Like, I think it's being, Because guys haven't been that excited to fuck me that they don't get anxious. Like, every time we talk to a guy, like, I'm over here thinking it's because I'm like, I turn them on. It's literally the opposite. Every guy we talk to is like the time it's, I couldn't happen, whether it's, whether it's something that happens a lot or whether it happened once.

It's literally because the girl was too hot and they were nervous. It's never for the other reason. Like, if a guy can't perform, I swear over and over, I feel like the idea has been reinforced that it's because you're like too hot. Oh, yeah. You're nervous. Like, why would you, you wouldn't be nervous to fuck a girl that you were just mildly attracted to. Like Raina said, if you're there, you're attracted in some way.

No girl's taking her shirt off. And the guy's like, I'm out of here. Like, they know what you look like. For sure. They know what your body's like to an extent. But like, I was thinking about this other day in the shower. I was like thinking if I could, like, write a bit of like, no guys ever had performance anxiety around me because I'm not hot. Like, is that the reason?

They're like, oh, no big deal. I don't care if I do well. She's a six. You're like too comforting. They're like, I feel at home. She's like my mom. I just feel like really comfortable and at home with her. Oh, God.

We talked about Dylan and so we can just drive at home again to women listening. That it literally has nothing to do with your hotness or your sexiness or your, you know. Sure, sure. And I think for me, it's more, what's really helped me is obviously going to therapy and like talking about it with someone. Blow jobs are great too. I think I just accepted it This is just like part of what happens to me I'm not I don't judge it

It just and I disclose it You know sometimes when it arises I'm like hey This just I get I'm nervous I'm really attracted to you This might happen like one or two Who knows however many times But as long as like get past this first hump

I promise it'll get better There's so many puns and wordplay Like you said arises and you said hum It's just like a lot Like, do you mean to? Like, I'm trying not to jump in. Yeah. Yeah, no.

It's been hard. I'm like, that's what she said. Like, so, I'm just, maybe it's like a nervous tick I have where I'm like, I'm like, I'm like talking. We just have to get over this first. Wow. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm, like, so embarrassed right now because maybe I've, you've revealed that I have this like

nervous tick where if I'm revealing something I'm embarrassed about, I just become like a fucking Shakespeare. No, you're like you're speaking about it great. It's just there is a lot. I think it's my dirty mind. You're just talking regularly. We're picking up on all the innuendos. You're right.

It's 100%. A lot of puns. A lot of puns. And it's psycho. So I never thought about a guest dick so much throughout the whole episode ever. Even ones I want to sleep with. It's like I just can't stop thinking about it. Well, we've been talking about it for a while.

Okay. Yeah. So we are still in this too and it's just, you know, my curiosity. Is it, does it kind of change? you get into a relationship and like those first date, second date, like jitters are over? Or is it like, does it persist throughout a relationship? Or have you not had a serious relationship since this really started happening? It's only, it's usually just in the beginning. Yeah. Yeah, it's just in the beginning. And again, that's like a testament to just like the comfort level that you have with another

person. But it's usually just in the beginning. And honestly, it's gone to the point where like, I talked to my therapist about this and my therapist recommended this book to me or she's like, Okay, like, I think I have other clients for men who, like, experience the same thing. I think you should read this book called tantric sex for men. I'm like, whoa, that seems like way too fucking advanced. Are you sure about this? I bought it. And it's been really helpful.

I think, like, in an effort to try to alleviate or curb, like, this performance anxiety, I have, like, learned, like, another facet about sex that overall has been, like, more beneficial to me. because I wouldn't have learned these things prior. Like, I think the biggest takeaway from that book, Tantra's Sex for Men, is that most guys, like, we have this preconception of, like, how sex is going to go. We assume that the moment we come, sex is over.

Like, the goal is to come. And the fact that we're, like, thinking, like, oh, I'm going to come, that takes you out of, like, being 100% present because you're, like, kind of already working on autopilot. Whereas, like, you don't know what's going to. happen. Now it's more like, okay, I don't know if my dick's going to get hard or not. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I don't know if I'm going to fucking come. Like, if I don't come, it's still okay. Like, and it's just made out to be like more beneficial. And it's like become a more fruitful sexual

endeavor since then because it's like, I don't know. It's just makes me more present and more like connected to someone. I feel like is, do they have, do you say it's called tantric sex for men? Yeah. Is there one for women? I feel like this would be great. They have one for women too. Because I think was it your podcast co-host? You guys talked about this on that. episode of like we all just need to realize that sex isn't like what you, it's just not so cut and dry, it's not so black and white. It's not what you've seen in the movies all the time. It's not like, you know, this thing happens and the guy penetrates and you both come. It's just like so much more than that. It can mean so many different things. There's a spectrum

of sex, like all these different things. So I guess any education and, you know, therapy, too, that you can do for yourself surrounding that is going to alleviate the pressure for male or female. For sure. And I think a big part of, you know, I mean, a big obvious one is like porn in general. Like I grew up watching so much porn. I was like fucking addicted to porn. Oh really? And yeah, and it was a big problem.

But like- Well, cause you didn't drink. Yeah. You needed a vice. Honestly, that was my vice. It's just like, I would, I knew it was a problem where I like wouldn't even jerk off. Like I would just watch porn casually just like get that dopamine rush. Wait, seriously?

Seriously. I know Ashley was joking and I just took it way too real. I just always wanted to know like who were the people who are the people who the right reviews on porn websites. Okay. I'm not writing review. I'm not writing reviews. Who sticks around because the second I come, I am deleting my, I'm deleting

that, I'm deleting my browser history. I don't even want to know that I have just watched that. Like, the stuff I watch is kind of fucked up sometimes. So like, I don't even want to know. So I just immediately shut it down. But like, you watch just for like sport. Not, well, it would be like, I'll be like edging. Like I won't

fully come. I'll like edge while watch. But like, yeah, that's, yeah. was definitely, that was definitely my advice for sure. It's like, fuck, I just got like railed out at work today. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Let's just fucking, I'm allergic to alcohol, but I'm allergic to this porn. Let's just fucking pop up some porn hub and just fucking watch a little bit. So when you say it was like, it's a problem, like how did it affect the way you were having sex with the family? I guess we can just assume. But like, how did it affect the way you had sex with people? Oh, I knew. Well, this was like at the peak of my like ED problems and performance anxiety where like

I it got to a point where even if I was in bed with someone I would like think to clips of porn to like stay aroused and I was like oh fuck this is a big problem like this having this other person in front of me

is just not stimulating me enough like I have to like search this Rolodex in my brain of like raunchy porn clips because it's not filthy enough I don't even know if it's just filthy it's just like I don't know I think because again it's all tied with anxiety like I'm comfortable jacking off watching porn in the comfort of my room.

I am uncomfortable being in an intimate environment with another person where I don't know what's going to happen. So that's why I think maybe my brain wants to go to that comfortable place, which is like, oh, the comfort of porn, you know? Okay. Yeah. So that's why I'm like, since then I've just like abstain from that too. Do you mind like giving just a brief rundown of your relationship history?

We should have done this up top. But like if you had serious relationships, have you just mostly casually dated, like years long or just what's your? Yeah. So I mean, I basically had two long-term relationships. One was in college. I don't know if that really counts. But like my most. That's the one that ruins men. Yeah. Okay. So nervous. As I'm crying. Yeah. The one that got away. Yeah. I didn't I didn't look at her Instagram at all during quarantine. we'll pass that.

Listen, listen, we all done it. We all tried to do whatever made us feel good during those months. Also, where did you go to college? I went to UCLA. Oh, awesome. Yeah. And are you 30?

Yeah, just turned 30. Okay. Happy birth. When? In quarantine. What day? March 23. Okay.

So you're a... I'm an Aries. Oh, nice. Yeah. We approve. You approve? Yeah. Arias approved?

Great. Yeah, I like Arias. Women. So you had a college girlfriend. You still find foreign. I'm just kidding. But I was in a very serious relationship for three years in New York that ended in

2019. And was the porn stuff an issue then? Towards the end of it, yeah. Because I think like I think that just the sexual chemistry kind of fizzled. I don't know. I mean, I'm really upset at myself for just not being more communicative through the course of the relationship.

And I wish I had seen a therapist sooner. I think a lot of it, I was just like bearing a lot of feelings and like just could not for the life of me be honest and communicative. And I think that's what led to the end of the relationship. And, you know, it's hard. I feel really bad because I heard another person.

And, but in the process, like, I am in a different place now. But yeah, like the point, again, like, it was just like sure there could have been like a like a mismatch or like a dissatisfaction in the bedroom but rather than like sitting down and talking about it like and communicating like two adults instead I like sought refuge in porn and it was like I just can't like hurt this other person's feeling so I'm going to like medicate by myself doing this thing right but sometimes I think you don't even realize that like what the issue and like a lot

of times the issue in the bedroom is emotional and so like you think that like you don't want have sex with the person or maybe like you're not attracted to them but like the issues are far outside of the bedroom. Right. And I think that like it takes a lot of years to even realize that sometimes. That like you're not attracted to them or that sex isn't spicy enough. It's like there's a million other emotional issues that contribute to that. That's very true.

Yeah. Yeah. But outside of that, I go in like waves. There's like waves where I'm just using the apps so much. And just like, again, it ties back to like my lack of vices. I think I was using casual dating as a vice where I just needed like I was with reckless abandoned. I was just like meeting women like back to back to back to back to back. But it's just like operating on autopilot like just like a fucking robot. And like you said, it's like a dopamine

hit too. Like those things all just kind of like keep you going, I guess. I don't know. Right, right. And so I did that for, I mean, I did that for a minute and then I'll like not date for a while and then get back on the horse and then just date too much to the point where I'm like, why am I do I even want to meet this person? Or am I just bored? Like, what the fuck am I doing? And so right now, I think this quarantine has been good. It's been like a major reset where, right now I'm in a place now where I just want to, like,

date very consciously, like more seriously. Like, I'm very, very much in a place now where I'm ready to be in like a long-term relationship. And I'm looking for something more serious because maybe it's just like quarantined induced fever. but I'm just like in a place now where I'm like, fuck, I just want a, I just want like a normal. I just want like, be a dad. Oh.

Wow, that took a turn. I did not know. Okay. Well, ladies, if you're listening, Brian wants to be a dad. Brian would like to knock you off. I did not see that coming. I was literally thinking that you were going to, because my personally right now, I just want like intimacy.

You know, I want somebody like I'm not even saying boyfriend, and husband, I definitely don't want to be a mother, but like, just somebody more than a first date. Like I want like to somebody that I know and to be intimate with. So like I was ready to like complete your sentence and stay intimacy and you said be a dad. Let's let's track back. I know. I want some intimacy. I was kind of thinking like, oh, you guys should go on a date. This is so cute. Then he was like, be a dad. And I was like for this reason, Ashley and I are out. Okay. Well, I. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't know if this girl that you and Dylan are sharing is going to be the one, but we wish you the best luck. I wanted to ask you a question because I think

this was helpful with Dylan's episode was that resonated with a lot of women was like what to say in the bedroom if the guy you're with is experiencing the performance anxiety. Do you, his thing was what, just, is there anything I can do? Is there anything I can do? Yeah. Like, what do you want, what reaction do you like in that moment? Well, the reaction that I like in the moment is, and one person, this one girl did, this and I really, really appreciated it. And she basically was like, hey, I know this really sucks. And I just want to let you know that, you know, even if we don't have sex, I really like you.

And we can try as many times. And I'm like, there's no rush to do this. Like, you can, we can try this like five, six, however many times it needs to take. There's no rush. Right. And she's like, I know you're real. I know like this is really. hard for you as a guy and like you're beating yourself up over it.

But all I heard was hard in beating. God. Damn. Right. Fuck me. What the fuck. She looked at me out of the corner of her high. Like,

should I say it? Oh my God. We wrapped up the point. Okay. You answered the fucking question. Right. But it's just that. It's just that.

It's just like, hey, I really like you. Even if we don't have sex. And if we do, great. and we can try as many times as we need to try. I love that. We can try as many times as we need to try. I'm like,

I'm here in this. I'm not going to not. Like, it sounds like that girl, the after you didn't have sex through that time was just like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. You know,

and like, that's probably your fear as a person's going to jettison you from their life. Yeah, yeah. Well, and a good way to, like,

cut those people out. Like, and, you know, I think that what happened there was she had an image in her head the night the way that I was going to go. Sure. And she was completely inflexible in that not happening.

want to have sex. I held a whole night in my head and it didn't work out and we got in a huge fight. And I'm so embarrassed that I even would ever act like that. And there wasn't a performance. It was just he was tired or whatever. But like you've all the time of the world to have sex. Like that's the thing. It's like we always preach in terms of even relationships and commitment and also in the bedroom of like just relax. Like just relax. Like patience. Like I love that of like I like you and I'm going to treat you with respect and like a human and not like you're just a piece of meat anyway. And like we have all the time. Like that's such a weird thing to get mad at somebody in a moment because they like can't fuck you right then. Well I think probably in my mind she like has

never heard any advice about how to deal with this. Which like at a certain age I hadn't either. And she like in her mind had this idea of like this sexy outfit and you know she's going to show up. She's all naughty on her computer doing like pivot tables. And meanwhile Brian's coming in hot taking a nervous duke. Yeah you took it. Brian clog the toilet. Yeah, you went there and you took a shit and you didn't fuck her. Not my finest moment. It's like you feel, I own up to it. I can totally understand feeling super rejected if you've never heard this advice before.

Because like I dealt with this with somebody who like maybe the first six times he couldn't get it up. One time I had a separate boyfriend who I did. I had like bottle this laundry. I went with a girlfriend to like Victoria's Secret. And I like, I had this whole thing where he was going to like show up and I'd open the door and be in this. And I did. I opened the door. He'd been working all night.

He was like a restaurant manager or whatever. And it was like midnight and I opened the door in this like garter belt and I was all hot in 22. And he looked at me and he was like, I'm really tired. I don't want to do this. He was like, I'm hungry. Like, do you mind if I just kidding? And I like, I was so angry.

But like in my mind, now looking back, like he had worked for 12 hours. He was starving. It was the middle of the night. He just trucked up four flights of steps to get into my apartment. And he was like, God damn it. Yeah. But we're conditioned to think that men always want to fuck and they're always ready to fuck and this and that. So it's like we all have to work on all of these false narratives we have surrounding that.

Right. Because that's what you're like a girl that the guy can't. fuck her, get it up, or it doesn't want to have sex just because they're tired. You're, immediately are like, I'm the ugliest person in the world. It's like, it's because you're too hot. Yeah. I felt so rejected, but I wasn't. I was really hot. Yeah, of course. All right. Well, ladies, if you're looking to be a mother. Oh, God. Can we talk about what you're looking for? Because we can, we can briefly go over this. But like, um, and like what your parents are looking for for you. Um, we were making jokes about like education levels and

like that, but like, um, your second generation American, is there like a certain pressure on you from mom and dad to find like, does she have to be a Korean girl? Yeah, they, it's, it's, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, hard. Moving on. Next question. Um, you know, it, their obvious preference would be for me to date a Korean girl because their English isn't their first language. I think there's like a communication barrier that comes with it. And they're just more comfortable around other Korean people. And that's their preference. However, based on my dating history, they assume that I am not going to date a Korean girl.

Because I haven't dated many Korean girls. And so they just assumed that to be the case. And yeah, I don't know. I'm open to it. But it just hasn't panned out that way. But it has a bit of scenario where you feel like a lot of like pressure to date within a certain category. I mean, I did, I did experience this with my ex where, you know, my parents adored her. And I did feel a little bit, uh, I like question if there was something wrong with

me because like everyone in my immediate surroundings loved her so much. But like I just could not figure out for the life of me. I'm like, why can't I, why don't I have that same level of attraction? You know, I know she's great. Is this a three year relationship? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think that you know, it's like an Asian trope or stereotype that our parents are a little bit more overbearing or you have that like tiger mom stereotype where, yeah, like I mean,

there is a sense of duty and I do want to ideally be with a partner that my parents approve of. I mean, it is, it's a big part of Asian culture is this idea of like filial piety, you know, like we, my actions aren't my actions. My actions are more representative of like society and like a family as a whole.

Whereas like in America, it's all about you and your feelings. And that's why America can't get fucking COVID under control is because they don't want to wear a fucking mask. Whereas like an Asian country is like you'd think beyond yourself. And so like, you know, it is, yeah, there's a certain extent. Like with my ex, like my parents loved her so much. And I was like, I really. She was white. She was white.

Yeah. But so they're not, I mean, they're, they're not immovable. Like they're not staunch. Don't bring her home. You know, so it doesn't sound like that is the situation. I think for them more it's like education level is important. Like what they do for work. If you're white, you've got to be Ivy League is all, it's all we're saying.

Harvard is all we're saying. And she went to Harvard. She did. Let's just say she went to Princeton just for the cycle of that way. Oh, okay. I remember when I introduced my ex to my parents and they're like, oh, what she doing? I'm like, yeah, like she went to an Ivy League school and she has this great job. And they're like, why is she dating you?

Oh, my, I knew you were going to say that for some reason. And I was like, I don't know, maybe because I'm like funny. and I have my own thing going on. They're like, no, but really, like, what does she see in here? It's my porpoise penis. It's the porpoise body. Okay, we've got to wrap up. This has been so wonderful.

Thank you for being so open and honest with us and making us laugh, of course. We want to tell our listeners where they can find you. So plug all your handles, your podcast, all the things. Yeah, you guys can find me on social media at It's Brian Park. And I host a podcast that's released every one. Wednesday called Feeling Asian. You know, obviously I highly recommend if you are an Asian person who is listening, but also if you're not Asian, we touch on, you know, just a lot of things are in the scope of the human experience. And it goes to show that we're all, all of our

cultural identities are more similar than you think they might be. And you might learn something. Sure. It's important. I think it's great. Yeah. For sure. I can I check it out. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, we're going to just say goodbye to Brian and stick around. We have one more fun little segment for you to round out the episode. And thanks again. Thanks, Brian. Thank you. All right. We are back with a new segment. Okay, full disclosure. We recorded this episode and then we came up with this idea for obvious reasons. Ashley's so excited. You're like a little kid. I really am. This segment is called That's What She Said. We made that up ourselves. I'm kidding. It's a

Michael Scott original. Isn't it? Yeah, of course. And he always, yeah. The whole episode I was actually, There's a scene where they tell him he can't do that anymore. And then Jim just starts like pitching things. He's like, wow, you really think you can go all day long? That would be too hard for me. And like Michael's just like sweating. And he's like, that's what she said. And then everybody starts screaming at him.

It's a great scene. Yes. Well, that's basically what this is because this game is going to ruin your life because you will never be able to think of these phrases the same. So anyway, basically based on all of the innuendos that Brian inadvertently made and we made dirty in our own dirty minds. We developed this game and we basically just asked you guys on Instagram, what phrases or sentences do you hear that are quote unquote non-sexual and you

sexualize them in your head? And we never know what we're going to get, but you guys never let us down. We were like, let's just throw this at the wall and see what sticks. And they're so fucking funny. I was hysterically lab been reading these. All these are a lot of like very funny workplace stuff. So like I can hear like your boss is saying all this kind of stuff to people. So just like as Ashley and I are talking, just envision like us as your coworkers. You want to start with that one? Right out of the gate I mean we just This has to be said

Is just I'm coming Is he coming? Is she coming? We're coming. When are you coming? You should have come Like all those So everybody's

I think about it most times When people say that Like I also love you should have come Someone wrote When someone says to her You should have come She should have made me That is so bro

Oh like like talking Like social plans You should have come You should have come Should have made me Um Love a good spread Love a good spread

That could be like in sports or like a charcutory, charcutory. She writes, my boss says penetration on the reg. I can't keep a straight face on Zoom. Penetration in any time. Also sports references.

I hate when somebody in like a serious situation says a word to me. The word moist. Moist came up a lot. Moist goes about saying. Different strokes for different folks. I'd never heard of that. It made me laugh. No, I've never thought of that as being sexual.

Oh yeah. It's ruined for me now. Is it in yet? I have said that to a guy during sex. Anytime people talk about double teaming a project at work, get out of here. Whenever my boss says, let's bang it out. How can people say that with a straight face? I don't know, but they do.

Okay. Jesus will come upon us. Just imagine, imagine, like, jizzing from the sky. I know. He or she is really rubbing off on you. I can never think about these things to say. Me either. You do you?

I say that shit all the time. And now it's like a masturbation thing. Blow on it. See if it works. Like back of the day, like Nintendo games, your parents would be like, just blow on it. I was like, what does that even mean in the real world other than dicks? Okay, blow on it. Oh my God.

My dad probably said that to me about the Nintendo. I'm plowing through them now. Like your emails. I got all these emails and plowing through them. God, everything is so dirty now. A come from behind when? I like that you wrote in sports. Like I wouldn't know.

what that meant. Come from behind when. That could also be in the bedroom. He wasn't doing that well, but he had a come from behind when. Like if a guy just like can't get it right and then he starts doing you doggy and you're like, that's a winner. I just, every time I want somebody to come, I do have a come from behind wind. Like what I wanted to end.

Right. Then I'm like, get behind me and I have a come from behind wind. See? I see you. When I see speed hump signs, I cannot with speed hump. Just say speed bump. Who does that exist? Speed hump.

Yeah, in a neighborhood. Like, I think when I. I remember, like, I feel like growing up, it always said speed bump, bump. That makes sense. Speed bump. And then all of a sudden, shit started saying hump. I'm like, why does it say speed hump? Ew, what do you say?

It sounds funny. Speed hump. Okay. I'm going to put a load in. Oh, no one could talk to their mom ever again. Let me just finish this load. I got to switch my loads. I'm literally doing.

I'm going to switch. What if some guy was about to come and he said, I got to switch my loads. Congrats on finishing. or say it to a graduate student or like a marathon runner I've thought long and hard about it do you want to read this one? My friend's name is Joy

and her mom bought her a sign for a room that says spread joy that's my middle name I really want to buy you a sign that says that I'm here for it please put that spread joy sign above my I'll put it under the giant door sized photo the Francis bought you

Oh my God I like this one I got chewed out by my boss It does sound sexual. You're right. I never thought about it. It makes me think of somebody like munching my box. You've got a friend in me.

You're right. This is the funniest game. You've got a friend in me. We're ruined in your life. You guys, we should have given a trigger warning before this. You're never going to think about these phrases. We got to put these on our Instagram story.

This one, I say this all the fucking time. That was deep. I also feel like this list doubles for like dirty talk. Like you could just slot this in for dirty talk. Exactly. Oh, like this next one. God damn it.

Do you want room for cream? God damn it. Starbucks is never the same. Yep. Take one for the team. When someone says that they're anal about something, wow, this is, am I going to turn on?

This one is so good. How close are you? I said it to my neighbor. I was like, can you wrap this up? Also, how close are you? Flesh it out. when someone says, do you want to flesh it out? Oh, everything is ruined.

Okay, the new name is the new name of this game is everything. Everything's ruined. Okay, this one's good. I never thought of it, but I just got rear-ended. I'm easy. Ellen always says that. I'm easy, like, all the time if we're getting dinner, we're doing whatever. Does she mean to be funny?

No, no, no. She's just one of the people that says that. You got me wet. Okay, so, like, what scenario is, like, at the pool? You're, like, sitting next to the pool. Yeah, that little kid got me wet. Okay, but you mean that. I don't.

I just got a facial. All right. Left high and dry. Ugh. Do you want to eat out? Yes. Every day. Yeah.

The ball's in your court. Come inside if you want. Anytime you say, do you want to come inside? All right. And this one, just take it around back. Okay. Like every single box that happened during quarantine in my house and my house and my dad said, just take it around back. I can't. And then you impact your vibrators on the porch.

I have to say, I wasn't sure about this game, but this is really funny. I know. And I want to, we have to put this on their story because this is so funny. Just seeing them all together because you just realize that like, do you want room for cream is a crazy thing. I know. All the, the office phrases I loved so much. Market penetration, double teaming, let's bang it out. Market penetration. That's so funny. Well, thank you for thinking of this. This is great. Thank you guys for all your submissions per usual. You are the funniest most amazing group of women ever. With the dirtiest minds, we love you guys. We hope you enjoyed this episode. You guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat podcast on Instagram. Ash Hess on Instagram, Raina.com.com slash girls got to eat. New website.

Next week. We think new merch. New merch. New website. New artwork. Yes. Branding you everything. It's a whole new podcast next week. Oh my gosh. So get ready. Okay. We will. We'll see you guys next week. Bye guys. Have a great week. Bye.