Girls Gotta Eat - Thank U, Sext feat. Sex Coach Gigi Engle

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

Cue up the eggplant emoji -- we're getting into sexting and dirty talk! Certified sex coach and writer Gigi Engle joins us to discuss what to say in your sexts, rule of nudes, dirty talk in the bedroom (and the best positions for it), what NOT to say about your partner's genitalia, and more. We're also playing a game of That Took a Turn and catching up on Ashley's new life change and Rayna's recent neighbor run-in. Enjoy! Follow Gigi on Instagram @GigiEngle and check her website for everything else. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @OneHungryJew. Check our website for tour dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Billie: Go now to mybillie.com/gge to save 10% off your razor. Rothy's: Go to rothys.com/gge to get your new favorite flats. OpenFit: Get a special extended 30-day free trial membership. Text GGE to 303030. Lola: To get 40% off your first month's subscription, go to mylola.com and enter code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I've said this on the podcast before. I only want those things said to me by somebody who I feel very safe way. Absolutely. Who I know doesn't think those things about me. But like who I don't. You fuck that intern in London. Another episode of Girls Gotta E. Welcome back.

Oh, you sound very sing-songy today. You know? Just I'm trying something new. No, just kidding. Well, ASMR voice. I love an ASMR voice. No one's ever said that about me. That's ever.

Like Ashley's voice is jarring. I don't know why more people to complain about my voice. It's terrible. Shut. Anyway. All right. Coming out of the gate with an announcement. Oh, yes.

I'm so excited. So you guys, I know that we keep saying that we are not doing any more fall shows. And we really mean it at this time, except for these two. Well, it's winter-ish. Well, you don't know. You definitely don't know. Actually, the first day of winter is December 21st. I know.

So this isn't tech. It's a winter show. It's a holiday show. It's a fall show. You don't know how seasons work. It's a holiday show. Guys, welcome to our first fight. Anyway, it's a holiday show.

It's in December. And we're coming to Chicago. We're coming back to Chicago. I'm so excited. It's like my home way from home. Now you love it as much as I do. We've thought about doing a much larger theater than last time, but we are going to come back to Talia Hall because we just loved it so much.

We're doing it. We were going to just wait until 2020. And then we were like, who wants to go to Chicago in the winter? So we're going in the fall. Yeah. I'm just kidding. No. December. We wanted to, we were thinking about doing what we did last year, or this year, I guess,

and doing the Valentine's Day thing, Gallantines Day show. And then, well, we were just like, we're probably going to Australia in February, you know, so we were just like, fuck it. Let's go over the holidays. Like, the holiday shows are so fun. Why not spread the love into another city? Yes. And we're coming out of the gate with two shows. We have back-to-back nights for you guys. So it's December 17th and the 18th. The theater, if you did not come to our life, last show is phenomenal. There's not a bad seat in the house. There's box seats there. There's great balcony seats, great floor seats. Really just every seat is phenomenal. And great food. The food is so great there. Last time we did a show in Chicago with this venue, we walked in at like 4 p.m.

You guys were already drinking at the bar. There's a cool speakeasy downstairs. It's like a really cool venue all around. It's like a Michelin-starred restaurant, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was great. So yeah, we are really excited. Tickets are on sale today. Go out and grab them. We are doing New York City. We're going straight to Chicago. We're doing two shows in Chicago. We're going right back for another New York show. Yeah. Stupid Live Shows.com. Girls Gotta eat podcast.com. Still a few tickets also left for Charleston and New Orleans. Yeah. And that's it. That's it. And the other ones we're doing are sold out. Or in New York, probably. Second show. Yeah. There's a couple of tickets left. And then, I mean, as of today, when this comes out Monday, we do have a show in Columbus tonight.

There's a couple tickets left. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Pittsburgh. Maybe. Oh, in Pittsburgh. Sorry. Okay. Sorry. Columbus and maybe whatever. Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Charleston, Chicago, New York City. If you're in or around the cities or you want to travel to them, we still have shows, tickets left for you. Yes, we can't wait to come.

Okay, great episode today. We've been wanting to do this for a long time. It is about sexting and dirty talk in the bedroom. We looked for somebody for a long time to have. We're outside the bedroom when you're at work. What else are you doing at work besides sexting? I literally never did anything at my job, besides sex.

I would G chat. Dirty chat. That is a scary game. G spot chat. You know that just so that like, okay, I didn't know this when I was like 25 and your company can access your G chat. You're at all the time. No, no,

no, if it's linked to the company. Oh, yeah. If it's like Blah, if it's like Raina at Groupon.com, they can pull those G chats up. Just so you guys know, I know you think it's private. Even if it's on your computer, they can access all that. Just be careful out there, kids. I never rolled like that. I would just, it was on my personal.

Gmail. I'm rogue. You went rogue. You're like on the server. You're using like the company AIM or whatever. So yes, we have Gigi Angle. She is a sex expert, a sex expert, a writer, but she's certified in sex coaching and all this. I think a sex coaching like someone standing by the bed. Like you're almost in. Good game. Good game. Good game. They smack your ass. I'm going to make her watch me have sex one. And just coach from the sidelines. She's like, oh, it's so funny. She's like gives you Gatorade when needed. So we're going to talk to her about sex and dirty talk like Raina said, but just heads up, we actually... So actually moved to a luxury apartment. She lives in a construction zone now. Okay. So let's just talk about it. First of our first off, we are recording this intro,

but we just recorded with Gigi at another place because we used our friend Francis's studio. You guys, he has a podcast called Oops the podcast. He came on our podcast a few weeks ago. You guys love the episode. It's called I fucked up. And the situation. is that my apartment that I thought was just the best thing ever. That was so wonderful. I couldn't believe I lived here. I thought it was too good to be true. It was, in fact, too good to be true.

And I knew that they were still completing some stuff on the building. That's part that they write that in the lease, all that stuff. They have to tell you what they're doing construction-wise. But what I was not totally aware of is that there's a Trader Joe's going in underneath on the first floor. I live in the second floor right under me. And I was in the impression it was almost done. I thought they were like stocking the store.

I thought they were going to be painting. I thought they were going to do stuff that wasn't. drilling. It is, they are putting in an H-back and they were doing the ceiling. It is right under my apartment. Like, it is under my bed. I wake up every morning at 7 a.m. to drilling. And I sent you a video because everybody's like, Ashley, I'm sure you're being dramatic. Everybody can deal with little construction noise. No. I sent rain a video one morning and you were like shook by it. Yeah. And I live on a very busy intersection of New York City. Like it is nothing besides like car horns and ambulances. It shocked me. It is the loudest thing. And then also there's other construction

on one side of the building and there was a construction site next door. It is honestly right at this moment, it is like a full-blown hellscape. And it's like just keeps getting worse because the Trader Joe's, I don't know, who knows, they fuck something up now. They have to redo it. They have to drill into the concrete right outside the terrace. Like it's been an absolute nightmare that's supposed to be over soon-ish. But I had a meltdown.

I mean, the been having a meltdown. I feel okay. Like I just, when this started happening, I was like, this is crazy. I don't wake up at seven. Like, I just don't. I go to bed late. I work in comedy. I stay up late. I work for myself. I don't get up at seven in the morning. So every morning at seven, I'm like, wake up to this and it just continues all day. So I work from home. We record this podcast from home. I have Dewey. Like I am in my home so much and I literally can't be in here. It's that loud. I can't take a phone call. Like I'm not exaggerating. I couldn't take a phone call. You wouldn't be able to hear me talk. It's that loud because it's like underneath and it's coming from all angles. And I was just like, I don't know how I'm going to live here. And rain and saw me cry. I feel like for the first time, like had an actual like sad melting.

down. Like I don't know what I'm supposed to do. And then I just woke up the next morning and was like, I am not going to move. Like this isn't supposed to be permanent. This is supposed to be only for a few weeks. Of course, I feel like things always take longer. But I was like, I have to somehow turn this into a positive. I can't like live like this and be angry and upset every day. So I've just had to like deal with it. And I'm like, I guess I wake up early now. This is so unlike me. I'm like working out in the morning. You guys, I've never got a text message from Ashley before 10.30 in the morning. And I like it. That's like, Ashley stays up at night and, like, does stuff and I'm not talking to her. And like in the morning is my time to have a lone time. And I've never gotten a text from me before 10.30. And now it's like, you're my first texted at 8 a.m. I'm, I know. And it still is really frustrating to like not be able to work in my apartment and be in my apartment during the day. I'm having to bring Dewey into the lobby. Dewey hates it. It's, it is a nightmare. But I'm, I've had to like shift my mindset around it. I think like with anything else in life. Because like, what are you going to do? Just be angry all the time. So I'm like, trying so hard to be like, this is positive.

I said this before. I said it on an episode a couple weeks ago. I was like, I want to move into my new place. I want to kind of change some things in my life, particularly not staying up and dicking around the internet till three in the morning and waking up earlier and getting more done. And this forced me to do it. Has it been bad every day this week? It goes off and on, but yeah, they start at about seven

because they legally can't start before seven. So all the workers get in there around 715. I hear that first drilling. And then it starts on both sides. And then who knows when they're going to start drilling into the concrete. Like it's brutal. But I'm not trying to be in like this high horse of like be more like me. But this is a lesson I had to learn because I feel like you would never see me like melt down like that.

Like I was in a really dark place. I just think it's really, really upsetting. I'm sure most people can understand. Like when you look forward to something so much like and it's all, it's like your dream and you finally attain it. And moving is like really hard to begin with. And like you're there for a week and you're like, oh my God, my dream is shit. Yeah. I'm not saying your dream is shit.

It will change and you live in a beautiful apartment. Right. It's hard to be like, I changed my whole life. Yeah. And like I, all I do is, all I, we do is in my apartment. We've had to change recording times. So anyway, long story short, if something terrible happens, not terrible, whatever. This is not that terrible.

Whatever. I hate to even complain. But like if you, something really uncomfortable and frustrating like this happens, I don't know, try to figure out a positive. It's nice to get up early and work out. I've never done this before. I got up this morning. And this is what I want to tell you that.

That was very funny. I got up and went to flywheel this morning with Bobby McMullen, Bobby Westside, who was my favorite instructor. And I told, because he was like, what are you doing here? Like, this is wild. I mean, and this is crazy for some people that work out at six every day. But 930 is early for me to go to a workout class. That's crazy. Like noon is the earliest I go.

Maybe I'll do 1030 every once in a while. So I'm there at 930. He's like, I can't believe you here. This is so crazy. Like, what time did you have to get up? And I'm like, I live in a construction zone. It's been so crazy. And he was like, that sucks, blah, blah, blah.

And then I get into class. and the very first song, he always calls me out in class because we're friends. And he goes, this first song goes out to Ashley. And I start hearing the song, Bedrock.

Like, I can make your bedrock. And I was like, Bobby what? Was his girlfriend in the class? No, I was like, people are probably wondering. You know what song I'm talking about. It's like, I can make your bedrock. Yeah, I would think they were fucking. And then I go, I'm like thinking it's a little weird.

And I'm like, this, I forget who sings that song. I thought it was going to be like a Rihanna song or Beyonce when he said it went out to me. And I was like, this is a little awkward. We're not fucking. I know his girlfriend. Like, we're friends. And then I get out of the class and I'm jokingly.

I'm like, that was very funny. He goes, yeah, because you were talking about the construction and the drilling underneath your bed. Oh, you didn't put the two things together. I did. You thought this was just totally. No, I just didn't. No.

I forgot. And then I was like, you're quicker than me. The fact that he was like, your bed's been rocking. It's been drilling. And I was like, oh, right. Listen, if you guys saw this guy, I would purposely imagine that everything was about me. Okay, that guy is so hot. He walked by my.

He walked by my. building the other day without a shirt on. I was like, Ashley, is that Bobby just walking casually down 3rd Avenue with no shirt on? No shirt, 2 p.m. I would imagine that every, he could play anything. And I would be like, it's a sexual innuendo about me. But I just feel like people were like, this, Bobby's like, this song goes out to Ashley.

I can make your bedrock. They're like, what the fuck? Is he just openly admitting he was cheating on his girlfriend? And he had to explain it to me. And I was like, oh, you're funny. I forgot. Is he funny? Oh yeah, he's very quick. He's like, quicker than me, apparently. I didn't pick up on that. Yeah, but I'm telling you, it's his body. It's just like, it throws me. You don't expect him to be funny and hot. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, he's just titting on me. Oh, you just think you can't have a body like that and be funny. So it's in your head. You do get creepy around people with like tribal and him. I can hear anything. I can hear Tim McGrath saying my little girl about his daughter. And Bobby directed that at me. I'd be like it's a sexual innuendo. Oh my God. It's the abs. He's so beautiful. But I want to hear about you. But I don't even know if we said the reason why we, I don't want to record here during the day until I'm sure the construction ends. So we asked to go over to Francis's place and just bring our own equipment and use his studio space and his home. And you'll, I don't know, we'll see what happens when you guys listen to the interview because we just did it like an hour ago. There was construction at his place. It was crazy.

By the way, I was at his house yesterday, recording, that's recording his podcast. If you guys want to listen to me and Ashley both on his podcast, we're both on it. But it was the most quiet, serene, just not a peep. The minute we got there, the most unbelievable pounding and drilling. And as soon as that stopped, sirens, just nonstop sirens. They're following me. And this is like a test in my life. Also, we don't really know this girl.

Like, we, I mean, we know, we've met her once, Gigi. So I can't be like, oh, we're changing locations again. We don't know what the fuck we're doing. So we just had to work with it. I think it's going to be okay. I think these mics, like, isolate the voice sound enough, but I could not believe it. We were joking that, like, the construction crew from my building, like, followed me there. They're like, we're done with our job.

We're going to job number two. And they're like outside, for instance. Yes, it's crazy. So we'll be coming to you from the Oop Studio shortly. But Raina, I want to hear about your neighbor. Well, this curtails into what we're talking about today. I turned down sex this week, which is, like, crazy for me. I sleep with my neighbor sometimes.

He's so beautiful. And I'm not really like doing this bit on stage anymore so I can like talk about it a little more. Whatever. He's like a beautiful Australian man. Okay, we're retiring the bit. Yeah, we're retiring a bit. You guys have been to a live show. You've heard the whole shebang, literally,

about rain and fucking her neighbor. Do we ever talk about how it started? I don't know. It doesn't matter. I mean, I don't need to go through the whole thing. Basically one night I was up there, I saw a guy playing guitar with like shaggy hair by himself drinking.

And I was like, that's the guy. I'm going to fuck him. Yeah. And so we've slept together a few times. Anyways, I was up on the, he's just, he's, I'm not going to date this person. He's not for me. Like, first I don't even know his phone number. I've never even seen him.

You know his apartment number, but not his phone number. That's it. I know his apartment number. I've never been in his apartment. Like, I've only seen him outside of the building one time because he was in front of the building. And that is the only time ever. I don't really enjoy talking to him that much.

I just, I don't need interact with him that much outside. No, what you've told me about him is he doesn't, he doesn't get you at all. Not at all. I mean, he gets your vagina. vagina. Sort of. Sort of. He's introverted and he's like a burning man kind of guy. He's shoes on. Somebody in my building this morning was like, I was just listening to

your episode. I was like, no, don't. But anyways, I saw him the other night. I was on the roof and he came upstairs and he always plays guitar up there and we drank, which is fun. And we were talking about texting and I forget why I came up and he was like, I don't really believe in using emojis. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? And he was like, yeah, I just think it's like stupid. Like, why would you do that? I was like, because nothing can replace, like, the water droplets and the eggplant. Like, nothing.

Like, show me it's something that you could write that could replace that. Like, and I forget why we started talking about, but he's like, yeah, sexing is 100% not for me. I would never, ever do that. He's like, I just don't know how to, like, get into that. And I was like, buddy, we've had actual sex. Yeah. If you, it was so bad.

If you think I imagined you being good in any other parts of your life, you are totally mistaken, like, you didn't have to tell me that. Well, also, he's old. He's not going to start using emojis at 40, I guess. How old is he? He's over 40. He's over 40, which is fun. Not old, but.

I'm in my 30s. It's fine. I'm just saying he gives me old vibes. He's never met him. I saw him in the elevator once. I don't picture him doing emojis at all, but I've, he also probably doesn't even have a smartphone. He does.

No, he doesn't. He has an iPhone. I saw it. He showed me a video. What an iPhone 4? He showed me a video of a hawk. Oh my God. a nature video.

He doesn't wear shoes. I don't even believe he has an iPhone. He does. I saw it. It's a flip phone. It's the first time I've ever seen his phone. He's been inside of me a lot of times. It's the first time I've ever seen his cell phone. Oh my God. But yeah, I turned... Because he didn't... Of course he doesn't sex, because he didn't talk in the bedroom

a lot either, right? He doesn't talk. I don't think so at all. He just... I don't know. I mean, different strokes for different people. I don't want to, like... I feel bad to talk to a tutus shit on somebody who's only ever been really nice to me. But, like, yeah, he's not... for me. I'm not going to date him. Oh yeah. I'm sure he's a great guy. But yeah, I was like so turned off by the whole thing that I decided I didn't even want the sex. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I was like, okay, you're just, I don't want this. I'm not going to prolong this anymore.

He was like, I hate emojis. I hate sexting. You're like, what's next? You don't have Instagram? He doesn't use social media at all. And he doesn't even know who like the Kardashians are. Probably not. Listen, guys, don't date anybody over 40. That's the moral that's just like, he's old! Everybody's like, Ashley, you're old. Bitch, you're old. No, I just, I get it. But, yeah, so it's great intro for the episode today because we're going to talk about that stuff. That's so perfect and timely.

We also want to congratulate all you guys that broke up with your partners last week. Oh, my God. And the messages that we got, oh, man, I wish I would have queued this one up. I can summarize it. This girl said that she was with this guy for four years and she loved him and nothing was wrong with him and he was great, but she just had this feeling that he wasn't the one. And she just felt scared of marrying him. And that was supposed to be the plan. And so she broke it off. And he told her he was about to propose. He'd already picked the ring out. She said it was her dream

ring. He like showed it to her. And she was like, I knew what the feeling when I broke it off, the weight that felt lifted off of me. And so that was just one of many. Like again, we're not out here like, break up with your man, join the single club. This is like, I think we encouraged a lot of people that needed to break up with their partners anyway. And the messages we got were these amazing things. Like, I knew this was bad for me. And I ended it. You gave me the strength to end it and all this stuff.

And so we're just, thank you guys for all the personal stories and messages. I mean, I think a lot of relationships that were wasting everyone's time were ended last week. I just, it's my dream, like with this podcast to validate anybody that is feeling a certain way. And I think so many girls messaged us and just said,

like, thank you for putting words to how I've been feeling. Yeah. Valate, you know, that I don't. I should walk away or that I did walk away and it was the right decision. And I think that a lot of people's families especially beat them up when they walk away from something that just is good and great. You know, you should want to be with this person and marry the person. I think people, they feel like they've failed in the highs of their family or their friends.

And I think people around, like your community makes you feel bad about any of these relationships. So, like, it's such a gift to be able to just validate that for anybody. I love that you said that. For me, I feel so honored that we can just show women that you don't need to be in a relationship to be worthy or be whole or, you know, have, you don't have to have somebody. Like, I think that's always the message I want to send. Like, that's not, doesn't make you complete. It's not when your life starts, you know, it's just this is, our lives are great. Like,

and so many other women and you guys, like, so many of you, no matter what age you are, the rest of your lives ahead of you. And it just, it's really special to me that people just cut the cord in these relationships and feel really lucky to be able to inspire you guys. I do too. So our friend Jeremy texts me and he was like, you're going to have like legions of men, like out to murder you. But it made me laugh, but on the other side of things, I think everybody deserves to be with somebody that really wants to be with them. Absolutely. You know, I would rather find out sooner rather than later that somebody felt lukewarm about me and left me. Right. We're not out here encouraging you to break up with your people and your happy, healthy relationships. I also have to say

this. I've been mean to say this for weeks. I can't really. I forgot to tell you. I, and this kind of goes in with the breakup stuff. Okay. Because this is your favorite line, our favorite line. I cannot believe that when we didn't do the last episode in the old apartment that we didn't say, you don't live here anymore, bitch. God damn it. Did we not end the episode in the last apartment studio, home studio, whatever you want to call it with, you don't live here anymore, bitch. That is crazy.

So here, we'll give it to you now. You don't live any more, bitch. I might not live here anymore, bitch. I might be getting evicted too. Okay. We'll talk about that in a couple months. That is so crazy. and I commented that on your Instagram post.

And people like loved it. Crazy amounts of people like commented back. That's what we're known for. All right. Should we get into it? Yeah, let's do it. All right, guys. So let's get into it.

In the Oops studio with us today, we have someone absolutely amazing. She's a certified sex coach and sexologist. She's the resident sex expert for the womanizer, sex toy and lifestyle condoms. She's a regular contributor at Glamour, Brides, Cosmo, Refinery, 29, men's health, and the author of the upcoming book,

All the Fucking Mistakes. Welcome to the studio Gigi Engel. Oh, thank you for having me. I'm really excited to be here. Yeah. We're really excited to have you. I have to tell you how I found you. I have to tell the audience how I found you.

So Ashley and I wanted to do an episode for a very long time about dirty talk and sexting. And we wanted the perfect person to do it. And I googled sexting classes. And your course horse class popped up. Ah, the first one? Wait, what's it called? Horse Horse.

Do you know course horses? Uh-uh. Um, it's actually a great website. site if you want to do anything, art classes, cooking classes, apparently sex classes, a lot of computer classes and people just put their classes on there and you just, they tell you where they are and how many people are involved, what the cost is. Yeah, fuck going to college. Yeah, absolutely. I do that. And then we met you two nights ago. Yes, which was so fun. We were by then. Yeah. So we're like, already old pals, we were on this panel

together for blogger. Yeah, it was super fun talking about sexuality, getting weird with it. Yeah, they put us in a, okay, this is a big conference for. blogger, she knows media, and there's like this main stage and there's like hundreds of people and they put us in a tiny back room at night. It was soundproof. They were like, there was no windows. When no one can see them.

Like I looked at a friend of ours Grace Owwood. She's speaking on like the main stage and I was like oh they shut us in the back room at night. I didn't even know the room was there. When we left the thing, the conference was over. Like they were like you need to leave now. Like it was the last thing. Because Ashley and I were crushing Kim Crawford

back there. I got so drunk. Oh my God. I hadn't eaten all day. I was crushing Kim Crawford. I went home. I got in the bathtub. I'm like, did you hear me like,

well, not before the panel. I mean, you're professional. Oh my gosh, no, actually. Are you kidding me? I was like pretty drunk on that panel.

I was wondering, yeah, you drank during the whole thing. I was like, I like this girl. Yeah, I mean, I had like three glasses of wine

before I was on stage. Oh, wow. I was like pretty lit. Do you, is that? Can I ask you a question? Is that because you get nervous being on stage? Are you just like, just like wine?

Just like wine. Just like one. Also, if anyone from Kim Crawford is listening, we love your sobby bee. They were like passing around the wine and I was like, I'm not going to say, oh. It's like, got to get a little lubed up before I get on this. Like, don't be, can't raw dog a panel. I'm the opposite. I like, no, Raina cannot.

Don't even give her sip of alcohol. Her voice changes completely. Oh, no. I'm fine. I'm a delightful drunk person. You can never tell how drunk I am. That's the best thing about me. Nope.

We did a couple episodes. I'd take in like one shot before the episodes. Nope. I mean, you're making me feel like an alcoholic piece of... No, but everybody's different. Like, body functions differently. I mean, I was, I just had enough. I know, I know my, like, exact amount I can have before public speaking.

It's like one, like, two to three glasses. And I'm like, alive and like ready to like get into it. But if I have any more than that, it's like, where am I? There's such a line. It's like not good. Also, I just got to say, we came here to avoid construction noise. And literally the second we turned these mics on there is wild construction noise. If you guys hear it, it's full blown.

banging, which is appropriate. Banging and string. Follow me everywhere. Banging follows you everywhere. This is the soundtrack we created for your specific episode. I mean, it works. All right. Well, Gigi, over the banging.

Tell us a little bit about what you do. We're going to enter you, but I want to hear about these courses. Like, I want to hear how you got into like being a sexting dirty talk coach. Yeah. You know what I think about? Can I just interrupt you? Sorry if you may interrupt. Yeah, I'm interrupting you for one second.

Do you watch The Office? Yes. There's this episode where Michael Scott is like talking to, Toby and he's like, what gives you the right? And every time we ask somebody to like qualify themselves, I always imagine it's like Michael Scott being like, what gives you the right? So if you would tell us what gives you the right. Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. Like I still have plenty of moments in my life as a woman in sexuality where I'm like, who the fuck am I? Like, even at the pain, when we were on the panel, I was like, why the fuck am I here? Like, why do people

trust me? No, I'm kidding. Actually, I'm qualified to do what I do. It's just imposter syndrome. So I started exploring sexuality from a journalistic perspective. I majored in journalism in college. And I worked at Elite Daily. It was my first job. It's like a millennial website. It was kind of like when it was not super huge yet. It was really smaller. I was like the 30th or 31st employee. And there was just like a lot of sex content that need to be written because it performs really well. But there was kind of like there is a lot of stigma around writing about sex, especially in like the shameless kind of open way that I talk about it, which is like super raunchy. And like I wrote an article about like how I wanted to change

the way my vagina tasted, my Vibalda tasted. And then I wrote a line, which is still my favorite line ever, which was I guess my dreams of a champagne-flavored pussy are dead. Really, Rain is really picking up what you're putting down. Yeah. My favorite episode. And it was just like, it was like raunchy. And like, so there was like a lot of that, a lot of need for the content,

but there were people, there weren't a ton of people who wanted to put their name on something that was that out there. Do you think once you do that, everybody like puts you in the sex like box? Oh, yeah. Because I was, I feel like it was lucky I loved writing about sex because it's like once you go sex, like you don't go back. Also, why is there not a rap song from Drake called Champagne Pussy? I mean, it's from a Nikki Minaj song. Oh, it is.

Sorry, Drake was too tame. Something about champagne. Good call it. I was thinking champagne poppy. So champagne pussy. But yeah, of course you're right. It's like where I got it. I don't remember.

I don't know exactly what the line is, but that's where I got it. And I was just like, lo, that's amazing. And the only time I was ever censored was when I tried to call my pussy a hair pie. my editor was like, no. And I was like, well, at least we know where the line is now. Because she would let me write pretty much anything. And I called it a hair pie. And she was like, I mean, all right, girl.

Like, you're the boss. But okay. We know we draw the line at hair pie. Yeah, I was like, that's the line. Champaign pussy. Champagne pussy. You fucking do it. Like, but you talk about a hair pie and we are out.

So that got cut. And that was the first time I was ever censored. I was like, oh shit. I was like one of the reasons it was so fun because it was like any, pretty much anything went there. Like I could write whatever, except for hair pie. But I could write pretty much anything I wanted and be raunchy and I'm like to think I'm pretty fucking hilarious. So I would like write these sex articles that had a lot of research and had experts and stuff, but like was like they were so fun to read because they were so crazy and cracked out. People need that though. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was like, why we're all thinking it? I was like,

I'm not going to write this like article that's like boring and academic. Like I wanted to be fun. So that was kind of like how I developed my whole, my voice. I kind of found my niche. I was like, oh, I just read. I'm like the crazy sex girl. Yeah. Were you like personally in your personal life was like, were you like a really sexual person? I've always been a very sexual person. I was definitely like a big slut for a long time. Um, for a long time. Um, but then, um, you were like fucking in high school. Um, oh yeah, big time. Like, um, she said the other night in the panel and I was like, wait, I want to get into that. Oh yeah. There was a lot. I was like big time slutty in, in high school. Yeah. Like doing like locker and blow jobs. I mean, no, it wasn't like, it wasn't like,

It wasn't like that bad, but I definitely made, I definitely got, and it wasn't, it was like never degrading to me. I just liked getting dick. Okay. So it wasn't because you were looking for like affirmation for men. I mean, I think in some ways definitely, because like all, when young girls are told to be sexual and like, your only worthiness is when a guy likes you, it's like, yeah. So I was fucking people for that reason as well, but it was also like very empowered. I used to collect virginities. What?

That was like, oh, of course you were taking virginities. Yeah. So I would like, I had like, it's like 13 virginities. What? And I was like, I'm so cool. But like the sex, of course, was terrible. But it was mostly like, it was like me, like taking back the male power and just fucking conquesting the shit. Oh my God.

The virgin slayer. The virgin slayer. That should be the name. That should be the title of my memoir. You're welcome, girl. And I feel like that's also your secret, like rap persona, your champagne. Pussy is your first, like, virgin slayer. Did you grow up in a house that was really like sex positive?

Like, what were your parents like in terms of sex? Yeah. I mean, my dad, it. I honestly, he still, like, thinks I'm a little girl, but, like, he's, like, really supportive. Like, hey, will send me, you know, like, the top 10 books of erotica and be like, if you need inspiration from, like, Amazon. Because it's so, it's, like, so precious. And he always prints out all of my articles.

My mom can't use a computer to save her life. So he prints the articles out so she can read them. No. Oh, my. This is the cutest thing I've ever heard of. It's so adorable. Wait, what? Your dad is printing out your internet articles and handing them to your mom.

Like, look at our daughter. Yeah, amazing. And they have a, a. a wall of fame of all the times I've been in print. All the time I was featured in sexual health magazine. They have it framed. It's like a full wall of all my stuff. My book deal contract is framed on this wall.

Your parents are a little child. No. She's married. They're married to her brother. Your brother. We just talked about your brother. I'm sorry. Why?

We have eight siblings. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, and you're from Chicago? I have seven siblings. There's eight of us. And I'm from Chicago, yes. Which is where our...

Eight kids and your parents give you that much attention? They give us all that much attention. They live for us. They love that. Do they have jobs? I mean, not anymore. My dad is retired. My mom was always like...

How do they have this kind of time? My mom was always like a mom. To make eight kids feel loved. I mean, two of them are half and are way older. That's like a whole... Oh, they got those out of the way. Yeah, they got a year. They're like, they're from my dad's first marriage.

And it's like, they're not really in the picture so much. They're actually kind of assholes. I hope they listen to this. This is so savage. You know what? I know they're people of shit. My step brothers, too. Asholes.

All three of that. Like, why do they have to be like that? It's like, get it together. It's not my fault. Daddy left you. Yeah, it's not my fault that their dad left them either. Exactly. I'm sorry.

I didn't ask for that. Oh, my God. You are like a rapper at heart. She's a savage bitch. I am fucking savage as shit. Like, that's kind of like, you got to, like, honestly, to make it in like the sexuality, sex education business, you've got to be savage as fuck.

It's like, if you're not really, like that, then I feel like you're kind of a fraud and you're writing. Like, this is who yours person, like all the, like, raunchy sex stuff, then not giving a fuck, you know. Yeah, I had, I had somebody the other day, I was talking about how, like, every time they've met a writer who they see on Instagram who has this big, like, persona, every time they meet them in person, it's like, they're kind of like this quiet, shy, like person. It's, like, so different than their, their online persona. And I'm, like, the same exact person. Like, what you get on online is what you get in person. Yeah. So that's, that's cool when, you know, when you meet people and they're like,

oh, you're exactly like your writing. That's so weird. And I'm like, I mean, what can I say? I knew you'd be like, because I asked people about you before we had you on the show. Yeah, we've been like wanting to have you on forever. Okay, so your parents are super supportive. And I don't know where we left off, but journalism is how you got started. Oh, yeah, so that's like I got started.

And then I, so there was like this whole, I don't know if you guys saw the teen vogue anal sex article. Yes. Yeah. Did you write that? I wrote that. Of course. That was a huge thing.

Yeah. And I was like, Teen Vogue. I don't know about this. I don't know about this. I wrote a medically accurate article. article. I can't believe this was you. That was like a big deal. Well, that's, that's like kind of where things that, like, things kind of took off. So, like, I wrote this article for, I was assigned it. It wasn't my idea. I was assigned it. Even if I would

open it if it was, because I think it was important. And it was like a factual way explaining, like, what anal sex was, like, why people like it. And like, if you wanted to do it, how to do it, like, really safely. Because the, the thing is, it's like, teens are having anal sex. And there's a lot of young queer teens who are having anal sex and a lot of, uh, straight people, girls who are having sex, anal sex, because they think that it's like not going to, they're not going to lose their virginity that way and all this like crazy shit. So I was like, okay, this is important. So I wrote the article and like honestly like didn't think too much of it. What year was this? This was 2017. A few years ago, right? Yeah. I was curious. I just like,

I feel like, I mean, I was like, I think I put this in my Instagram story because people freaked out. Yeah, they'll freak out. Yeah. So I mean, people like lost their shit. So like, I've written a lot of controversial stuff. I never really know like what is going to like spark outrage. what's not. And I'll sometimes write something that I think is super provocative and no one will notice. And then I write something that's like, I think just like an important informative article. It's very straightforward. It wasn't like, teens, go out and get that anal. It was just like, this is what it is and this is what you need to know. And it's like, I was asked to write it. So I was like, yeah. And people fucking lost their goddamn minds. Like I think Sean Hannity called me

a sodomite. Like some crazy YouTube Nazi lady like burned, did a book. burning of the teen vogue. I mean, no, but similar. But like, okay, also, were people attacking you? Oh, yeah, they were like, coming for me. First of all, you shouldn't be upset, but if you're upset, it has nothing to do with you. You're a writer. Blame Teen Vogue. If you're upset.

People definitely came for Teen Vogue, but they also, like, really came for me too. And luckily for me, like, I was a freelance writer. And honestly, Teen Vogue and Kande could have, like, totally thrown me under the bus if they had wanted to. But they stood behind me. And Phil Picardy, at the time, the editor-in-chief

15 Vogue, like, wrote an article and did interviews about how, like, he stood behind it and, like, valued the writing. And it was, like, really great to have that support. But, like, the thing about the article was, like, I realized that, like, my writing had more impact than I realized. I didn't, like, you're writing on the internet. You're kind of like, la, la, la, whatever. Like, I don't, and you don't even realize people are actually looking at it a lot, I think, in my, in my case anyway. It's like, you write it. You, like, send it off into the internet. And then you're just, like, whatever. And you move on to the next thing. But I realized, like, I was actually, like, I was actually having more of an impact on people than I really realized.

I was like, okay, I got to like get, like, go back and like get certified in sex education because like I need to have these credentials and I need to like actually know my shit. I thought, I felt like I was well versed, but it's like I needed to get. Yeah. And just take it to the next level entirely. Yeah. And I mean, I wanted to be able to not just be like.

You're not some girl that fell into sex writing. Yeah. You actually have like a certification. Yeah. So I went back and I got, uh, with the World Association of Sex coaches. got certified as a sex coach and a sex educator was like the best investment ever. So I just decided I wanted to do more hands-on classes with people in person because I feel like I'm very personal when it was like, oh, this will be a good way to make a little extra money. And I really want to

help people with like sexual questions. And the thing that people kept talking to me about, all my friends had me constantly like crafting their sex for them. Like they would give me my phone, their phone and be like, sex, text this person back. I don't know what to say. And I would, and I was like, oh, I should just be. I should just teach a class so that people can actually learn how to do this. So I set up, yeah, I set up workshops about sexting. Yeah, well, let's get into it. Yeah, I'm really quick.

Like, do we say this? You're married. Yes, I'm married. You're from Chicago originally. Yes. You've lived here. Yes. And now you live in London and Chicago.

Okay. London, Chicago. And then how old are you? I'm 28. 28. And you lived in New York is why you worked a thrillist. Yes. I lived in New York for like seven years.

And then I moved back to Chicago two years ago. And now I'm kind of straddling London and Chicago. Okay, I just want to get that out of the way because people are probably like, who has, what's her status? Is she 20? Is she 40? We don't know. You know, was she married? Is she single? You know, I want to get that all the way. You know, I think most people just want to know, how do I send this initial sex? That's why I think we'd love to start. Yeah, I mean, I think the easiest way to jump into it is to recall a previous sexual experience you've had with that person, assuming you've had sexual experience with that person, you'd be like, you know, if you had a really great sexual experience the night before, it'd be like, oh, babe, I really liked when you were kissing my neck. and then like ran your hands down my whole body. It gave me shivers. Like, what did you like about last night? Yeah. And you can just start, because that's the way you're not like kind of Johnny on the spot

where you're like, fuck, I don't know, right? Big hard cock. I don't know, cock. Right. You don't open with cock. But like I send a bunch of eights and zeros and the big cap. Just emojis. Like, I've said this before.

This is how I always start sexting. I just recall the night before in a really light way to see, to gauge how they're going to be. Yeah. Yeah, like, you'll know. Yeah. Like, they text you back and they're just like, yeah. Like, you know that they, like, not having it.

You can, it can, I, and you're the expert here. I think it can even be as simple as, like, last night was really hot. Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't have to be like, yeah, you don't have to be, like, super aggressive. I think that's people are like, I mean, work up to that. I'm afraid that they're like, that's the, I think the thing that holds people back most from sexting is they're just, like, really afraid to be judged and they're really afraid that they're really afraid of their partner. Yeah, they don't want their partner to be like, ew, gross. Why the fuck are you talking about that?

Or like, I'm at work. which I've gotten that before. Oh, no, I love the I'm at work or I'm in church sexed. But I think men are different with that. I love it. I think women can, we always say women can multitask and like be sexting and be at work or be doing the dishes or be taking a shit or doing whatever. And I think men, I've talked to this to Jared Free when I went on his podcast that

they almost need to be in more of a mood. Like if their dick's going to get hard, if they're going to want to jerk off. Like I think it's harder to get a guy like super turned on at work. I do understand that a little bit more. Do you agree? I mean, I don't know. I think it's really, it's really subjective. I haven't had a, guys who want to sex are good at sexting.

Like, they will do it like morning anywhere. They're not going to be like, I'm at work. I can't talk about this. They're going to be like, oh, you want to talk about your pussy? I'm here for it. I'm here for it. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So I haven't really like noticed that particularly. Like my ex-boyfriend, he used to, he was the worst fucking sexter. Oh my God. He like should have, he should have gone to jail. He would like, he would like, I would send him like a, filthy sexed. And he would send back like a thumbs up emoji.

No. Okay. So I'm glad that you brought this up because we got an email from somebody and I was like, oh my God, is she dating my ex-boyfriend? This is so crazy. Yeah. We'll read the email. We'll read the email.

So I was in a relationship with somebody who I would, I've had a couple situations that I'll talk about that are horrifying on this podcast. But I dated somebody for a while who I would send like sexy picks to and he would be like, nice. Oh my God. Same. Or I would get good. No period.

Just good. My favorite tweet ever, it's still in my phone somewhere in a screenshot. I laid in bed and laughed about this for so long. This girl tweeted. She goes, I don't think she was dating the guy, but it was the guy she was interested in. And she sent him a sexy pick. And he wrote back, looking good friend. Oh, no.

I laughed just so hard. And she immediately burst into flames. Yes, her tweet was very self-deprecated. And it was like, well, you know, I have to kill myself now. you know, whatever. But yeah, I want to get into that. But I think honestly, I still want to really deep dive on like things to actually say. And if people get uncomfortable, it's fine. But I think people are dying to know this kind of thing. But in the meantime, I'll read this email. So she writes, email subject line dirty talk. I on numerous occasions have sent my boyfriend photos with a dirty

caption or just started up a convo that began with something naughty and thinking he would reply with a sexual response back or at least a damn baby or sexy so we can start this sexting thing. But nope. Each time I've done this, he has responded with something along the lines of that a girl. When I told him I was touching myself. Oh my God. Or nice, babe, nice. No.

The worst is that you take all this time to take the most amazing nude. Lighting has to be right. Have to set the phone up correctly with a timer 25 photos later and editing LOL to get a response. This is looking good, babe. Like, what in the actual fuck? My friends and I totally laugh about it and make jokes. Also think something is weirdly cute about it because if you saw him, he's this big six. six guy who looks like a tough guy and all the while he's so uncomfortable dabbling in any sexy

talker knowing how to comment on his sexy-ass girlfriend's photos. I've also brought it up to him, blah, blah, blah, now I don't even try. I know it'll be comical. Also, like... I love her. I want to be friends with her. Also, I totally disagree. If I saw a big jack six-six guy, I'm not thinking that guy sexed. Oh, me either. I'm like, he doesn't have to do that and he thinks he can get away with him. Yeah, exactly. This guy never had to learn to sex. He probably jackhammer sexes. Oh, yeah. But I was in the situation. I just like, gay. up and like it's so disappointing. So like what do you think? Like do you give up? I mean, I think it's, it's like, it really depends on how important sexing is going to be to you. Like if the relationship

is really great otherwise and like you love everything else about them, it's like, is that going to be a deal breaker for you? Because like it's okay if it is. Yeah. Like if sexing is something important to you and you need to like keep that, it's such an important thing for couples, I think because it keeps, in my professional opinion. I think it keeps the spark alive because it's like a tool. And it's a really good way to. gauge if somebody would be interested in trying something that you haven't tried. Especially if you wanted to try, let's say, like, role play

or you wanted to do some bondage. Sexing is such a good way to be like, you know what I think would be really sexy? If you blindfolded me and like ran a rose like over my whole body or like, or you just tied my hands up and like really had your way with me. Then when you hear what your partner says, then you can gauge whether or not that might be something they'd be interested in actually trying if you wanted to try it.

Well, and we've said that before too. It's the perfect way to test out the, crazy stuff you want to do in the bedroom, is send it in a text, because it's, you know, sometimes difficult to say that to someone's face. Yeah. And I mean, if you're sexing somebody and, like, they respond with, first of all, if someone said, add a girl to me, I think I would like throw up on my phone. Yeah. And I wouldn't be sexing anyone because of my phone. I'm touching myself right now. That a girl. That a girl. It would just make me feel really rejected. And I know that, like, you're not being rejected. I think some people are just shy and

don't know how to do it. But like, it would make me start to feel a certain way on myself. To be talk to my partner about that. If I was like, look, it makes me feel like I've spent all, she should read that fucking email to her boyfriend. Well, we say that about all the emails people send us. Well, and also, I mean, I think we can men listen to this podcast too, and maybe this one especially, they might really want to listen to. And if you really don't have the language, like, there are better responses.

Like, can't you muster up like, that sounds hot? Can we just see you later? I think that's really good advice for anybody who's nervous about sexting. Like, if they get a sext and they're like, I don't know what to say, I don't feel comfortable with it. You don't have to be like, yeah, I want to like lick your wet pussy and like, do you don't have to do that. You can just be like, oh, yeah, that sounds so sexy.

Or can't wait to see you tonight. Like, or like, you're so hot. You know, it's like that's not that fucking hard. And nobody is going to be like you're weird for sending you're hot. That's the thing. Like just give me something and maybe they'll work up to it later. Like the whole thing where they just shut it down is really, it's just disappointing. And I don't know that might be where I would draw the line.

I've definitely had guys. I dated a guy once that was, the sexting was ridiculous. I would literally come. Like it was bonkers. Like I was, couldn't even believe it. He should teach classes. I had a guy like that once. Yeah. And then I've dated guys that just did the minimal, but it was still fine. It still turned me on, you know? And I like, when guys were like, babe, I'm at work and now I'm turned on or something like that. Yeah. I mean, it's really simple because what it really comes down to with sexing. It's like it's not even, it's not, you don't even have to be this like porn star level sexter if you don't want to be. But like it's what it comes down to is like making your partner feel hot and making them feel

validated and letting them know that you want them. And that's really what it's all about. So like if you can't even give somebody more than like a thumbs up or like a good with no period or even an explanation point for fuck sake. Okay. So you you open up the conversation with a little bit of like what did you do last night, things like that. What's like level two?

I mean, there's like a really good rule of them for like crafting sex. Like if you are like looking at your phone and you're like, I don't know what to say like, okay, I have my pussy now what do I'm, what about it? Use adjectives. Okay. Like capital adjectives. Capital A adjectives. The more adjectives you're not all caps.

Not all caps. Yeah. You don't need to scream it. My pussy is so wet. My pussy is so wet. Like, no, you know, that's, it's a bit much. And you don't need to send all those squirt emojis. What?

That's why are people always sending the water droplets? I get, I've had once had a guy who was really good at sexing, but he would always send so many emojis. And I was like, I don't need this many emojis. Right. Yeah, guys, I like emojis, but guys that over emoji, I'm not here for it. I don't think they're sexy.

I don't need them in sext. I don't need them in every sext. It's like, oh my God. I don't really want them in sex too. So when it comes to, like, adjectives, it's like, so there's three main groups of sexers. There's kind of like, there's romantic sextors who are kind of like, you're, you know, your garden variety dance.

you'll steal, like, romance sexers where it's kind of like, I want to, like, kiss your neck and, like, whisper stupid shit and you're, you know, not that exact thing. But something, you know, more romantic, kind of like, I want to, like, slowly undress you and all that. Gotcha. Then there's, like, naughty sex, which are like, I'm so wet or like, you turned me on so much last night when you, like, did X, Y, Z. And you're kind of just, like, describing. And it's dirtier. But, like, the really raunchy, like, raunchy sexsters are the one, like, the big time porn star sexers. And, like, and you're. And then, like, like, the big time porn star sexers. are the ones who use a lot of adjectives. Because if you say, I'm so wet, but you add in descriptors like, my wet pussy is so ready for your hard, enormous cock. All of a sudden,

it's become this like, next one. I took a turn. I'm trying on. Yeah. Add a bunch of adjectives. That's, that's really what it.

Like, you don't even realize how fucking easy it is. Like, I'm so turned on can be like, can be turned into like a grotesque, ridiculously, like, raunchy-ass sex.

Yeah. Just add some descriptor words. And it's like, you know, it's like, and if you want ideas, like, and you want practice, like, you can use this amazing technology called the slut bot. I got to tell you guys about the slut bot. So JuiceBox started this thing called the slut bot, which is like an actual bot you can sex with. And like you can, you go in and you say like, you know, whether you want to be the talk to a male or a female sex bot. And then, um, you can just try stuff. And they're actually like, it's actually really good. But they use way too many emojis to be honest. But, like, if you can get past that. And I haven't personally done it myself, but I have friends who have done it. And they actually do, like, it's pretty good. And it's a great way to practice. Oh, my God.

Okay. It's called the slut bot. Slot bot. Slot bot. Slot bot. Okay. It's juice box. It's juice box.

It's one of the technology from the company juice box. And it's really good. And it's a great way to test stuff out, even just to see it written down. Because I think sometimes you want to send something or you aren't sure what to say. And so you, but once you've written it down and sent it, you're like, oh, I shouldn't have done that. And everybody sent a sex or like a sexy picture where they were like, that was a mistake. Okay.

And that's like, that's the feeling you don't want to get. So it's a really good opportunity to kind of like write stuff down, kind of get an idea of where conversations could go. And if it's also a good way when you see the bot respond, if your partner's not giving you like exactly what you want, you can take the bot's responses and kind of like try to steer them in that direction. Okay. Okay.

So interesting. Well, I want to get into nudes and stuff like that. But I want to like craft some texts for people. Okay. Like level one. Can I think, I mean, we think, I mean, we think. I think we went over with some of them, but if people are like, I'm going to take what these girls say and I'm going to write it to my man tonight or my or my woman or whatever. I mean, do you think it's just like easy last night was so high, you really turned me on.

You know, I think also you can move up to like I came so hard last night. So I think when you first start with somebody, like I really, I don't ever want to like go so hard in with somebody. I don't want to like come out with the words pussy right away or heart cock. Like so like when I start with somebody like I will say something like, you know, I'm at this meeting. But all I can think about is you bending me over this table. Nice. Yeah. That's a great one.

It's actually, it's not that dirty and it's like still kind of funny. Also, it's like, I'm in this work meeting, but I'm thinking about you like hammering me. That's a great one. I used to use that all the time. Like, I just want you to like do this thing to me. And I think this is what we see that goes wrong. We've seen some like cringe-worthy text of a girl being like, what would you do if I was there right now. And that's one of those ones of like you got it.

I don't know. It can go south if they don't know what to say. Yeah. I mean, if you're unsure of how it's going to go down, like you haven't sexed with this person before. and you're not, and like you don't really know the situation yet and you say like, what would you do to me if I was there right now? Like, they may surprise you and it may be like awesome, but they may also just be like, fuck you.

Right. And then you'd be like, great. So I think that's kind of feel them out without that for. Yeah. And it's like if you know, you've sexed with them before, if you know that they're a decent sexter, like that's a good way to get a sexting conversation going because like you know, they know what they're doing

or like they're comfortable with it. But like it's easier to be a little bit more, like using the descriptors from the night before, being like, like, last, like, all I can think about was when you were inside me last night from behind. Or like, I can't believe you were able to do that thing with my legs. I've never done that before. Like, where'd you learn that?

You know, it's like, or like, you're so amazing with your mouth. Like, like, you make me, yeah, like, that's such a, and, like, compliment people. Like, compliment their skills and make them feel good about it. Don't lie. Like, if they were doing something that, like, I think sometimes we tend to, like, boost ego a little too much, where it's like, we start saying,

something was really amazing when it was like just kind of fine. So like stick to stuff that was like actually was really good. Or like you have the biggest cock I've ever seen and they're like, I know I don't. Yeah. I always never say that. I mean, unless you have a guy who is the biggest cock you've ever seen, which I mean. I would just say the best cock I've ever felt. That's my thing.

Best cock. That's the best cock I've ever had. Yeah. And then it's like and you can say thick or like it's so hard. You know, stuff like that that's like universally true. It fills me up. Yeah. It fills me up just right.

It hits all the right. spots, you know, that kind of thing. And that's like, but if you say you have the biggest cock in the world, they're just like, I do not have the biggest cock in the world. Yeah. Stop lying. What else you line about? Yeah. I'd be like if somebody were like, oh, you have the tightest pussy I've ever felt. And like, they're all the fucking same. So. Really? So if you really try this and you do this thing of like last night was so hot, I loved when you did this, you know, fill in the

words like that kind of thing. And you just don't get the response. Do you think where do you, where do you go from there? Is it like a in person conversation? Like, hey, I just want to feel you out about sexting. It's kind of, it turns me on. I would say, give it like three tries. You know, you don't want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were in a work meeting or whatever. They were in a weird mood, whatever. Like somebody is like weird about sexing the first time you try.

Like some people just don't trust you and they won't do it. And you never, whatever there, some got people have been burned. They don't want to end this. They don't want this to end up in the group chat. Well, that's one of the reasons that you have to have these in person conversations. Like you can try, you know, get, try to get sexting started over sex. Because obviously it's sexing. But if they shut it down or are not interested, then you do have to have an in person

in conversation, figure out, like, what the blocks are? Like, is it because they don't trust you or they don't know you well enough? Is it because they are just don't like sexing and think it's weird? Or is it because they, like, have been burned before and don't want, and like, don't want you to show your girlfriends, like, things they sent you. And, like, your dick picks, which I may have done that before. I mean, every dick pick I've ever gotten. My friends have seen it.

So don't send me a dick pick. I don't want it. Yeah, you see, that makes people nervous. And so it's like, I mean, unless I ask for your dick, please do not send it to me. Yeah, I got one, a stranger in a DM. last week. What the fuck? A close, vainy dick. I get a dick pick like at least once a day. You do?

In my DM. Because of the nature of like what you're right. People just think that people, it's literally sexual assault. But it, but it is. Like, women aren't out here sending photos of their genitalia to strangers. I was like, look at them up. I was reading emails for this episode today because we asked people for like their weird sexting conversations. I cannot

tell you, I thought my eyes were going to start bleeding. A hundred emails from girls that were just like a story about how I totally random guys sent them a dick pick. A guy air me is dick pick one time in the subway. Yeah. Yes, this happens a lot of the subway. I was like, yeah.

It's so, whatever, it's a whole other conversation. Fucking guys, stop doing this. Just don't do it. Not consensual. Speaking of sexting, do not send your dick to anyone who did not explicitly ask for it. It's so crazy.

And we'll get to nudes, but we'll get to nudes. Okay. So I like what you were saying about, like asking about why somebody won't do it because the last person I dated flat out refused. And this is not like my long term. ex who like he was sort of weird about it.

Yeah, he would send me like a thumbs up emoji and stuff. But like he didn't make me feel flat out rejected. But the last person I dated was just flat out was just like, I showed Ashley a text he sent me. And that was the day that Ashley decided she did not like him anymore. I need to know about this. So basically, I mean, he... I'm like getting pissed thinking about it.

I didn't even tell her about this because I was like so upset for like, I mean, I didn't tell her for two days. But that's a long time for us. I mean, that's a long time. Yeah. I couldn't keep that shift secret. Yeah. He flat out.

I remember like I was on the phone with him and I was like, you know, I noticed that you don't really like flirt with me that much. Like you, there's just not a lot of like verbal affirmations of you being like, the sex is so hot, stuff like that. Um, which that's fine. But he like was like, I will not do not do it. I don't want this in text. I do not want it. I will not do it. And like I kept trying. And what do he say to me that night? Like, well, Raina said something about like doing something in bed. Oh no. I said that. He said I want to see a video of that. And I said, not the videos I'm going to send you of me in bed. Which is. So light and tame. So tame. Well, because he wasn't sexy and so you knew better than dissent of something

crazy. But he still is very tame. And I just, his response could have been so easy and just like, that's hot or anything but what he wrote. Basically he wrote like, I think it's funny how much you tee me up to sex and I don't. Like, I think it's funny. And this is not a bad guy. This is not an asshole of a guy. So I don't think he was truly like being malicious and mean. But like the way he said it, I think it's funny. I've lost my goddamn mind. I read that text. I didn't tell her for two days. I felt so humiliated. I was just like,

you're like, you think it's funny that I try to like turn you on and that you turn me down and that I feel bad about myself. You think that's funny? That would have been the last text to I ever sent.

That guy blocked his number. Never talked to me. Yeah. I probably, I would have probably burned his house down. Yeah. So just again, ladies,

don't let a guy shame you. I'm escalating real quick here. I know. So I didn't tell her because I was like, this will be the end of her being nice about this person. I'm like,

this relationship's over. And I do think he's like a nice person and was probably just like a Midwestern Christian guy that didn't want to do those kind of things. But the way he phrased it was really not nice. Was not, no. And even like, he's like, you can find this a lot of times

the dudes who don't want a sex. It's like they think they're like on some fucking moral high ground trip and that they're so evolved because they don't want a sex because they're above that. And it's like, shut off. But I just, I don't see the harm.

And again, this is speaking to women too. I don't, we are kind of talking more of the women that want to sex and the men don't. But at the same time, there's probably plenty of men that are sexting and the woman's not really giving much back. So on both sides, you gotta validate somebody though.

That's what I'm saying. It's simple. They're simple responses. Yeah, that's the entire thing. Like anybody who does not like sexing or is not into it, and they have a partner who is into sexting, do not be a fucking dick about it. It's like, you don't have to be like, yeah,

I want that, give it to me harder. You can just be like, that's hot or that's sexier. Can't wait to see you later. It's really simple. It's just about making the, person feel wanted, even if it's not something you're into, because that's your job in a relationship. Yeah.

You owe it to the other person to be present and into them, at the very fucking least. Yeah. I think my favorite, this guy that I would sex with all the time, we would like legitimately, like, play out. I mean, it was basically phone sex on sex. Oh, that's the best kind. Like, just like fully like, this is what we're doing now. This is what we're doing now.

And then I'm just like, start whatever touching myself or using a vibrator. And then I'm just like, I just came on the couch one time. I was like, this is embarrassing. It's not embarrassing, but like, I got to clean the couch. I mean, it's a... The couch is all wet now. Like, the couch was wet. I got a napkin.

Nothing turns me on more. One of the hottest things anybody ever said to me was this guy was like, I wish I could be there cuddling with you. And I was like, me too. And he was like, but if I was like cuddling you, you know how I would just like slide inside of you. And I was like, oh, my God. And like, then we did that.

We like, we interacted the sex. That's the way to do it. Think about, take things through a play-by-play. Yes. It's like you have sex in your real life, so just describe that. Yes. Because I think I just jump right in with like, yeah, I would like love to slide your cock inside and me like this.

Yeah, and then it's all of a sudden you're sexting. And you're kind of on a roll. It's just to keep responding. And it's like, think, and genuinely when you're writing down the sex, think to yourself, what would I be doing next? Oh, yeah. We would change into a different position. Yeah, like, visualize it.

Or I would like go down on him or go down on her, whatever it is. And like, you can just describe it. And then it's like, and then you're, the sexting ends the way sex thing. and sometimes, which is with somebody orgasming or both of you orgasming. Hopefully both of you orgasming. I think that time I did that, the guy was like at the bar. I was like, God damn it. He was so good at it.

He could just do it on the fly. I also think that people can get so much better over time because I dated a guy before that that would do that with me, a lot of G-chat when I used to have an office job. And I was a little nervous. He was like the way more sexually experienced one. And I feel like I built up to it. So then for the next partner, I was better. So I think if your partner is willing to give you.

something, there's something to work with. Exactly. Like, I think you could potentially, because a lot of our listeners are young, like, you could start sexting with your partner and they have never done that before. And so this is brand new territory. And like in a year or two or whatever, or for the next person they date, they're going to be an old pro. Yeah.

And sexting is like sex where it's like it is about practice. As long as you have somebody, the most important thing is that you're enthusiastic. If you, if it's something you can, you're nervous about, but you're like, I can get behind this, just practice and keep going. And remind yourself that none of us really know what we're doing. Like, sex is like, everybody's nervous to sex. Everybody's nervous during sexual experiences with new people as well. It's like, it takes getting used to.

It takes practice. So it's like, if you come to it with enthusiasm and you're like, I'm going to make this work and like, I'm going to practice, you will get better. And then you will be better for future partners. Or your current partner will get better at it. Yeah. And we can talk about nudes and stuff like that. but I think just a sexier photo that's not a nude that's not showing like your breast or your

vagina of all of a, I want to be politically correct, can go a long way with men, especially because they're so visual. You know, like I would do that. I remember one time, like, cleavage looked amazing. So I sent it to my boyfriend and like got him all worked up. And it wasn't like a nude. It was just like such a teaser photo. I think, don't you feel like that's a good way to get people going to? Yeah. I mean, I think you should be sending. Because then they're like, oh, I am turned on. And then maybe they're a little more juiced up. to start sexting. Yeah, I mean, a photo is a sexy photo is a really good way.

Same with dudes. Like, I think women and men are actually, like, just as visual as each other are. I don't want a dick, though. I don't know. I don't say send a dick. Oh, my God. What do you think is a sexy photo of a guy? I want, like, a shirtless pick or like something, right, like, looks good.

You know, like he's like going to take a shower or just got out of the shower and has the towel wrap around the waist in the mirror. You know, send out of that. Do not send your fucking dick unless someone else over. But see, I want a dick outline. I want a hard dick in a pair of pants outline. If they got a good hard dick. Hard dick outline.

Hard dick outline. Fellas take a damn photo and send him. Also archive your sexy picks. Like you don't necessarily- Reuse that shit. Yeah. There's that one I sent. I'm still trying to reuse it.

Like I'm just like, I sent this the best pick ever to this guy and I'm just like he was not worthy and I'm just waiting for the next guy that deserves it's really good. We relate to a show. I have an app called KeepSafe. It's like a place,

a special photo save, like app that you, I hide it inside of my, on my phone in my travel folder. Like where all my travel things are and then it's like keep safe. And all my nudes are in there and all my sexy pics are in there. Oh, it's like a locked folder.

So it's like when somebody, if you give someone your phone and they're looking through your photos, they're not just going to suddenly see like a penis. Yes. Or like your tits. Smart. So it's, I mean, it's helpful.

So you don't know who's like, I don't need like one of my little cousins or something. Like being like, oh, you're naked. Like that wouldn't be great. Well, I'm trying to crop my head out of a lot of photos. Like at the very beginning, if you want to do like neck down, that's great. Anything with lingerie on is also great.

I need to tease a little bit. You don't need like vagina out photo. And my take on it is like if this, I, this guy that I was sexting, well, I wouldn't call it sex. We were saying to each other very flirty, sexier picks. But like, the one I sent was like, I was in like a sexier bra and like panties or little shorts. And it was high. I mean, he can know what's going on under there. My body looked great.

And I was like, if this ends up with the internet, I'm fine with it. Like I, when you're new with somebody, you know, I didn't trust him like that. So I'm like, if he puts this out there one day, I'll feel great about it. I mean, that's a, I think there's like two major rules. with sexy pictures. It's kind of like, you never, ever need to have your face

in a nude photo. That just like never, you never need, that never needs to be a thing. If it's a sexy pic, if you want to have your face in the photo, ask yourself, if this were posted online,

how would I feel? And if there's, if you were like, I would die or I would, I would feel really, really bad, don't send it. Right.

Don't send it. And you can, if you have a really sexy photo that like your face is in, it just crap your face. Right. And like, make a duplicate and crop your face

and send it. to the person because it's just like not worth it. It's not worth it. Okay, my favorite sexy photo to send is when you're wearing underwear, you take a photo of yourself with your hand in the underpants, like, mine masturbation. Oh, that's, yeah. That's my favorite. Also, just to back up to picks and sexting, I can send a guy a million picks and not anyone back.

I want his, like, words. Like, that's what does it for me. Like, I'm trying to think of a guy dated for a while. I sent him so many picks. And we were in a serious relationship if I trusted him. I sent him so many photos over the time that we dated. and he never sent one back, and I don't want one back, but he would say the sexiest stuff.

I feel like that's such a difference between men and women. Like, I don't ever need a reciprocated photo, but like tell me what you want to do to the picture I just sent you, you know. I do like to watch people masturbate. Well, that's, yeah. I love that. I get, I will, yeah. You want to, like, jerk off video?

No, I want to, like, FaceTime somebody while we, like, oh, I have a million, like, I get, I have him send me jerk off videos. No, just kidding. He always sends me jerk off videos. Is that your husband? Yeah, and, like, they're cute because they'll be like, No, they're like, it's cute the way he does it. It's really cute because he'll take one kind of like while he's doing it.

But then he has to stop so he can focus. And then he'll take one like when he's coming. So I got like two videos. Oh my God. Do you get like a coming boomerang? No, but I wish you could do that. Shoots up and conflict. Oh, we're going to definitely do that.

I want to talk about now. We've kind of, we talked a lot about sex. I want to talk about actual dirty talk in the bedroom and like how to start that. And we can talk about what our usually our go-toes are. But like you have not, you're new at this. but you're like, I want to say something in the bedroom. I think like a really a good one is like, it feels so, I love having you inside me.

Same. Like that's, like, that's what I like. It's like, it's a really, like, it's a really good one. Or like your cock's so amazing. Don't be like your cock's so huge because like they're, you know, I mean, and I'm so well now. He knows it's good. You can say your cock's so hard or like so.

Hard is good, I think. You're so deep. That's always a good one. Yeah. And if they're like going down on you and it feels really good. You're just like, oh, God, your mouth's so amazing. Or, like, you're the best I've ever had. Let me ask you a question about this.

I think I'm so wet is the standard. Like, I've, there's very few guys that I haven't said I'm so wet too. Or you make me so wet too. You make me so wet too. You feel so good. This feels so good. Your dick is so hard. I'm so wet.

Like I just, and I, the last guy I slept with. Tell me harder. Yeah. The last guy I slept with, I was saying a lot of these things and he wasn't totally reciprocating and that's kind of okay with me. I want to hear noise. I don't want a dead silent person. But for me personally,

if you're not, if you're not reciprocating sexting, I don't love it. But like, I just don't know. I think a lot of guys are so terrified how silly they sound and a lot of times they don't sound great. And I just want to hear like, yes, yeah, noises. You like what I'm doing. I'm fine to run the show on the dirty talk. But I also, if a guy can dirty talk well, I mean, whew, the, marry that guy. It's really, yeah. Yes. I did. I, I'm with you though. Like, I don't mind being generally the one to do it. Like, yelling like, oh my God, your cock is so amazing. You're going to make me come so hard and like stuff like that. Yeah, I don't mind being the one to do it. When they can do it. I like when a guy is about it. Like, I like, like, come talk. So I want a guy to tell me, like, how much come they're going to put inside of me. I love that.

I have my husband speak only in Russian sometimes when we have sex. Oh, another language is hot. What? I'm trying on just thinking about it. What? I don't know. Russian's doing it for me, but Spanish. Oh, it's so hot when he does it.

He has it because he's, Russian is such a different alphabet. So his voice, he has a different voice. So he sounds like a different person. It's super hot. Okay, so learn a different language. That's a great term. Yeah, learn a different language or you'll never have sex again. Was he really great at these things when you met him or did you train him?

I trained him, but he's a very, very quick study. I would be so intimidated to date you. He said that he had, he was like, he was a little bit intimidated, but like he seemed fine. He was like, I just had a feeling things were just going to work out. I was like, white male privilege for you. Yeah. Yeah, I just knew I could get you.

I was like, okay. I mean, he said he had never sexed with anyone as like as much as he did. with me, but he was like, I just sort of like went with it because I really wanted you to like me. And I was like, and it was really hot. And like, it was great. I mean, I was worried when we like first hooked up because we had done all this sexing and I was like, I hope this isn't a lot down. But he was very, very good. Oh, that's true too. Like if someone's like a pro sex, because you were sexing before you had sex. Yeah. So it was like, it was nerve-wracking. But he like we, he showed up at the door. I was visiting Ireland and he came to the Airbnb with a bottle of

because he knows that's what I drink and was going down on me like 15 minutes later. That is so wild. Oh my God. I'm so proud of you guys. I'm proud of us too. I want to talk more about dirty talk. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Back to that. We all know what mine is. It's just so hot. Telling Ashley how good she has a comedy. Yeah. It's not that. I just like the compliments. Oh, also.

Raina does not. She likes to be told me. You have to make sure your partner is like a, because it can be awkward if they don't reciprocate. But if I want to be called something, I'll usually. be like, tell me what a dirty whore I am or like, tell me what a little slut I am. So let's talk about this. This is, both of you enjoy this. I'm just going to sit back and listen. Yes, if this is what you want, I would like you to tell our listeners how to get it because it is what Rayna wants. And I feel like a lot of guys do, that's not natural for them to say those things. Absolutely not. And by the way,

like, I think that, and I've said this on the podcast before, I only want those things said to me by somebody who I feel very safe way. Absolutely. I know doesn't think those things about me. But like who I don't. You fuck that intern in life. London. Who hasn't? He was not an intern. He was that PR person for the trip. With the tight pants.

That definitely couldn't have children because his pants were too tight. And your bruises were, I almost called Daimelwan when I saw you. I love that shit. I'm like honestly wet just hearing that. Okay. So tell us how you get a guy to call you a dirty horse. You ask them to do it. Okay.

But I asked this guy, dirty talk in a British accent is not for me. Oh, I love it. It is so, so weird to hear like dirty slut out of a lot. a British accent. Oh, actually, their voices are so proper. I can't know. My husband's Irish and so it works. But like, Irish, they're filthy. Filthy. Yeah, dirty voices. Dirty boys. You also, there's definitely people that have trashier British accents that it might be a little better. The trashy British accents when they call you a dirty whore is real good. Yeah, because it's almost borderline trashy Irish too. Anyway, okay, let you got to tell us. Tell us how to, the words for women to use.

I mean, I think the words, it's like, first of all, it's like you, it's okay to want to be called a dirty whore in the bedroom. Like, it's fine. I think there's a lot of like girls, the women might want to be called these things, but they're like worried that they're going to, the person they're having sex with is going to think that they are a whore because they want to be called that. That's not really the case. So you kind of have to like let go of that shame. So if you want to be called a dirty whore, tell them to call you a dirty whore. And like they're either going to do it or they're not going to do it. And if they, and they probably will. Because like in the heat of the moment when you're in the bedroom and you're, I would say try it. Like I often say like when you're asking for new sex stuff,

don't do it while you're having sex. But when it comes to like dirty talk and you're kind of, it's like, you're in the moment. And it's really hot. And you're like, call me a dirty whore. They're more likely to be like, you're a dirty whore. Oh my God. But if they're nervous, like, if they, you have to own that statement so hard. Like the thought of a guy stumbling over.

You're a dirty whore. So I would do it in doggy styles. You're not looking at their face. Yes. Because I think it's just easier. I don't. If they're like on, if they're on top of you like passionately having missionary sex with you and you're like, call me a dirty whore.

They're going to be like, okay. Gotcha. So doggy style. Doggy style? Like turned away positions. You're doing reverse cowgirl. Like they call me a slut. And it's like that way they can be like, you're a slut.

But they can be like, yes. Dirty whore doesn't have to be the first thing either. Little slut. Little slut or like. Yeah, little slut. Dirty girl. Dirty girl. Oh, I'm, I can't.

This is so not my style. Noddy little girl. Notty girl. Tell me how naughty I'm being. The word naughty. I can't, don't get me started. Even when a mom says her little, her son has been naughty. I want to barf.

Okay. Well, I like it. So don't shame me for it. No, no, no, no, it's like, you're welcome to shame me. That's the thing is there's so many different, like, sexing is totally subjective. And it's kind of like, you have to figure out where the happy medium is between you and the person who you're fucking. Because, like, they might be down to be like, I love like, I love fucking your tight little cunt, but they're not going to call you a whore. And like, you kind of got to be like, okay, that's their limit.

That's your limit. But like, you're not going to know. Ask for what you fucking want and say it with purpose. Practice it in the mirror. Like, if you're worried about asking for in the bedroom, be like, call me a whore. Like in the mirror. I'm a dirty, I'm a dirty fucking slut, like right in the mirror. Right in lipstick.

That is so funny. You are a dirty whore. Yeah, maybe, I like that you guys said this, like start with like, call me a slut. It seems like that seems way easier to say. Keep it, you know, keep it a little less political. Like maybe don't go right to bitch. Like you could be like, call me a little slut. Like tell me what a naughty girl I am.

And then you can kind of build them up and then eventually can be like, call me a whore. Do it, Jonathan. Come on, Nathan. Give it to me, Gideon. Oh, my God. I think it can also be easier to have them dirty talk to you while they're getting a blowjob. So, like, you don't have to look them in the face. They don't have to look you in the face.

Also, it is so submissive, and it is kind of like they are kind of like in this dominant kind of, even though I think blow jobs can be very dominating for women. But it's like... I love them. Yeah. But it's like, that's a good opportunity for that to almost be like a role play. It's like you're almost in a porn. See, this guy, like, we used to blow him.

You'd be like, that's a good little girl. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I loved it. I just, I still masturbate to it. Like, he would just say the dirtiest stuff to me while I was blowing him. And like, yeah, it was like role playing because like I wasn't looking at him. He wasn't really looking at me.

He was looking at the top of my head. If a guy, if I was blowing a guy and he said, that's a good little girl, I would wipe my mouth and I would get up and I would call an Uber. I mean, that is fine. I know, but it's just like, right and I are so different. I mean, that's what's so, that's like a beautiful comparison is to be like, look, not every girl is going to be like, I would be freaked out if like

I were hooking up with somebody for the first time and I love being called a whore. If I were hugging up on this first time and they were like, yeah, you're a dirty whore. I would be like, who are you, sir? Well, that's the thing too. So a lot of it's just like, are you comfortable with this person?

I mean, and that's not to say that you can't go one night, like you, with that intern in London. He's not an intern. He's definitely an intern. But like, he was the PR guy. Whatever. The guy, when we, okay, this is very funny,

because when we first started the podcast, that you, that was early on the podcast. And then I was hooking up with this 24-year-old that was like the most master dirty talker of all time. I couldn't believe it. He was just like smoking hot black dudes. So like just his voice was so hot and his delivery was so great.

Like a guy that was just like a nerdy white guy saying the stuff that was coming on his mouth. It wouldn't have translated. But it was like so hot and so sexy. And I don't, he was hot. But it was like I didn't even really like him that much. It was just, but I would come all the time from the words alone. Like the sex was good.

But there was like the dirty talk. I was like, this is what is doing it for me. Oh, I love that. Yeah. But I think it was like that night one. Like, I think that's just how he rolls. It's hard to ease into it. If you're not like naturally like that.

But I think he's naturally like that. And I think I, you know, I saw him with the guy recently and I was like first time saying saying stuff. Like I'm just, it is who I am as a sexual person now. This is not like this years ago. But like night one, when I'm fucking somebody, I'm stuff's coming out of my mouth. So hope you like it. You know.

But I wasn't always like that. That just comes with like age and knowing yourself and what you like. Yeah. It comes with a lot of like confidence and like being more comfortable with what you want in the bedroom and like feeling better about who you are as like a sexual person. Yeah. Yeah. Confidence and all of all that kind of stuff. For me it was a little easier to start with dirty talk in the bedroom.

I think it's like very subjective for people. Some people are like, oh, I really like to be able to craft my sex and I can sit there and think about it for a minute. And like other people are just like really natural like in the bedroom just throwing it out there with all the dirty words. So, like, yeah, it really depends on your, on what works for you. Yeah. And I just think that it's such a good thing to get started doing early on. Like, we had a sex therapist, Dr. Ian Kerner on an episode. And he just talked about when couples start to have a stale sexual relationship

because they haven't really built the tools early on in their relationship. They were just getting by on pure endorphins and, you know, pheromones or whatever, all the like love drugs. And then that kind of wears away. And what do they have left? Because they never built the tools. So I just, we always say, like, get it in, start that stuff early so you know what you have later down the road in your toolbox. Yeah, absolutely.

You have to be able to, like, we tend to have like the coolage effect over time in relationships where you start to just like get bored with your sex life and things. Like the spark goes away and the initial dopamine and stuff like does like eventually simmer away. And you have to be willing to have like sexual expiration and novelty and change shit up. otherwise, like, you are going to get bored and it will lead to problems. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I feel like we went through your whole class and we've given people some good tools.

You guys are both now seasoned as fuck. And then your classes are online, right? Can you do them online? Yeah, I do them online with O'School a lot of the time, which is like an online forum where you can do like free workshops. I'm planning to do some more like in-person workshop type things. It's just like I'm moving around a lot. So it's like once I get settled somewhere.

Okay. Well, we're going to wrap up with you, but plug all your stuff. That was sort of your course stuff. But, I mean, tell everybody where to find you, where to follow you, where to Yeah, for sure. You can read your articles. Check out all my stuff and, like, my latest articles on my blog and everything is available on Ms. Gigiangle.com. You can also follow me on Twitter and Instagram. It's Gigi angle and writer. And Angle is E N-G-L-E. G-I-G-L-E. And you can also pre-order my book, all the fucking mistakes. If you You go to my website, Ms. Gigiangle.com.

There is a link. Awesome. Awesome. Guys, check out all of her stuff. All right, guys, and stick around. We're going to do a little game to end this episode. Yeah. Okay, it's game time.

Damn time, baby. I've been ready. You're ready? It's 7.30 this morning. I went through hundreds of your emails. We have picked some very funny stuff. We're going to play this, took a turn. So what originally our goal was was, was like, since we talked about sexing and dirty talk,

We were kind of hoping to get some of these crazy screenshots of like you were chatting casually with somebody, maybe a stranger on a dating app and they went, took a turn to so sexually or something crazy. But, you know, we can only work with what we have. So these. We have some stuff. We have some stuff. There may not necessarily be that, but I mean, I think they're just as good. We don't know these. So we're going to do three, right? Rain is going to do two that I have not looked at at all. And I have one that just came through that she doesn't know what's coming. So we're going to do them. We're going to do a little sandwich. You're going to be on the bookends. I'll be in the middle.

This is my dream. Okay. I found this one this morning. It is about a Tinder date gone wrong. Okay. Okay. Let's jump in. I met up with a guy from Tinder because I had some needs to be met.

I didn't feel like going to get a drink anywhere after a long weekend of alcohol-driven shenanigans. So he just came over and we started a movie. Of course, he got bored quickly and has to go down on me, which of course I accepted graciously. Okay. Eventually we moved into the bedroom and he asks, I would sit on his face as he was a giver.

So I took my seat without further prompt. and didn't put full weight on his neck, I had a fear that I would snap it. I'm riding his face into the sunset and then suddenly nothing. Total radio silence. And I lift myself off this man thinking, how am I going to tell the cops I killed a man with my vagina? I go to the bathroom to figure out what I'm going to do with the actual corpse in my bed. I head back to the room where he's still laying there.

His dick is in his hand, but he is breathing. This asshole fell asleep while going down on me. what? I try to shake him awake to get him to leave, but he won't budge. I eventually get him up, dressed and out of my apartment so I can go to sleep and block the marines from my mind. He didn't even mention that he fell asleep. He just waltzed out like this happens all the time. How do you fall asleep with a vagina on your face? Can you imagine something's going down to you and they just stop? No. No more, like no more movement, no more sound. I love that she's like, I just didn't want to clean up in the bathroom while I figured out.

to do with the corpse in my bed. Oh my God. That is so crazy. I've definitely heard about people. I've fully heard about guys falling asleep while they're having sex. I've probably been on the edge of a bunch. But not while you're eating pussy. I love that also like, oh, you know what, forget it. I love that he didn't even mention it. Yeah. I wonder how she figured out if he was breathing. Finger under the nose. She pulls out like the smelling salts. Okay. This one just came through. She said that that took a turn or is this weird, so it could be a little bit of both. Hey girls, my friends and I have wanted me to submit this for weeks now. I told them the story of how a guy basically, I don't want to give this away.

This guy dumped her. Blah, blah, blah. I wanted to give you guys a background on this. Okay, so he was a nice guy. I received this text the day after one of our dates that went great, by the way. They had a great date. I was shocked by his text. But now my friends and I have one hell of a story that brings everyone to tears when I tell

for the first time. I hope you all enjoy. Okay, so I'm going to read the texts. Jeff writes, Hey, this is going to sound awful, but for the last week, I've been really thinking about it, and I believe we should go separate ways, Bethany. Nothing is your fault. I just don't feel 100% attracted and you deserve a guy who can actually have sex with you

because my penis is small and my belly gets in the way. I really have been thinking about this and going over everything, but I think it's best for both of us. And the distance had nothing to do with this. I promise. I just don't feel totally attracted. She writes, yeah, I wasn't expecting this at all. Jeff writes, I'm really sorry.

I truly am. You are perfect. It's just me, but you'll find somebody. I know it. And she writes, why did you come last night? And I think she means attended, not come, like came. I don't think she was a M-M-L-U-M last night.

Yeah. And he writes, because I didn't want to make a rash decision and wanted to see how I felt afterwards. And she writes, okay. He writes, again, I'm sorry, but this is goodbye forever. And she goes, damn, okay. Okay. This is wild.

Goodbye forever is my favorite line. I'm going to start using this with every guy that I date that I don't want to date anymore. This is goodbye forever. Don't text me anymore. Don't read my Instagram story. Bethany, you can't even come back from this. Okay. First of all, I want to know if this guy is small dick.

And a belly. I'm confused. He's saying I'm not attracted to you. But my gut is in the way. Like he said it twice. He was like just in case you forgot. You deserve somebody that's attracted to you. Oh, my.

God. That is so funny. I'm not attracted to you. You deserve somebody that is. But also I don't know what's going on here. He also sounds super insecure. I don't care. A guy that's going to be like, sorry, my small dick and my big gut can't please you. But it's weird that he threw that in because like if he took that sentence out, it wouldn't change the tone of the text messages. The text messages to me are like, I'm not into you. I'm not attracted to you. You deserve somebody that's attracted to you. Also, my dick is small. It's very weird. Goodbye forever. Goodbye forever. I'm going to start using that instead of like best wishes or I wish you all the best. Like, the last breakup email was I wish you all the best,

but really what I meant was never talk to me again. Right. All right. Next up, this also came in recently. So I've been seeing this guy still in the early stages, but hooking up a lot. He was what some might call granola in the sense that he showered maybe once a week. Oh, it was absolutely not.

It was a rough time in my life. But I won't lie, the musk of his B.O. mixed with sort of a spicy scent, kind of did it for me. It's like a post-malone situation. She's like, I was going through a tough time. Do you see that meme? It's like, do you ever date people

and you look back? You're like, yeah, that was a little bit of a rough patch. Anyway, when today we're hooking up, he enters me, we're raw dog in. All of a sudden, my vagina had been lit on fire. My body is burning from the inside out. I panic, I push him off me, I sprint to the bathroom.

I'm splashing cold water on my pussy, basically spread eagle under the bathtub Fawcett. Of course, he follows me in there. I'm frantically screaming if there's something wrong in my vagina. He calmly looks to me and says, oh yeah, I put the jalapeno of coconut oil on my dick as a surprise. I thought you'd like it. What? That is not a thing that anyone makes. It doesn't, I don't even believe that does not exist. States to say I did not like it. He basically just shrugged his shoulders and left the bathroom, leaving me to extinguish the fire on my own. Obviously, the cold water did not work, but it was more like one of those weighted out kind of things. I

walked around for the rest of the day with the worst kind of fire burning all up in town my pussy. Oh, yeah, I kept hooking up with him for months after. All right, guys. Halapeno coconut oil is a thing. Did you go to it? Yep. It's like for sore muscles.

Oh, I can see it being for muscles. Yeah, because like what world would a guy put anything with jalapeno? First of all, on his dick. Right. Why does he want that on his dick? What is his dick must feel like? He, Brett, he definitely tried it out though and liked it. Oh, my. He's definitely like trying to shower. He didn't enter any of his like crevices. He's just, he's like probably just jerking off with this jalapeno. Oh my God. Nature's Way. Coconut oil. Fiery jalapeno. Can you imagine? In your vagina. In your, in the open, in the open hole that is the entrance to your entire body. No, I can't imagine it. All right. I'm going to, I found another one while we were doing this. I feel like it's a good one to end since we'd give him our topic today of dirty talk and sexting. She gives two stories about this guy. I'm just going to read the second one.

So she writes, separate occasion with the same guy because he has the weirdest dirty talk to date. The first night I slept with him, we had sex twice. In the morning, I said, you have to leave at 11. My parents are coming to pick me up for an engagement party. He said, okay, and we proceeded to have sex. In the middle of sex, he said, I want to fuck you so hard right up until your parents come to pick you up. Easy to say, I had to fake that orgasm because I had now had images of my mom and dad in my head. As a rule, never bring out my dad during sex.

I don't even like you when the guy a psychologist brings up my family when they're inside of me, okay? I definitely don't want somebody that's fucking me to do it. Just like the words that you don't say in the bedroom, mom, dad, parents, unless you're calling the guy daddy.

Like, I want to fuck you so hard to your parents show up. What? No. That's his sexual... In all your sexual fantasies, that's what you envision is my dad and mom walking in the room.

All right, so guys, there's a what not to do just to end this episode about during talk. A lot of stuff not to do. No jalapeno coconut oil. Yeah, absolutely not. Oh my gosh. All right. Well, that took a turn. Keep sending them in. These were crazy today. Okay. Thanks, guys. Thanks, guys. We hope you enjoyed this episode. We hope you're firing up your sex right now. And we'll see you guys at our live shows. Again, Chicago's on sale in New York night too. Still have tickets in Charleston, Pittsburgh and New Orleans. And stupid live shows.com or girls got to eat podcast.com. Follow us Instagram. Girls got a podcast. Twitter. Girls underscore got to eat.

subscribe, right review. Thanks, guys. And we'll see you next week. Bye.