Girls Gotta Eat - The Best Time for Sex + Masturbation Myths with Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

The boys are back and it's a hot one! Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein of Stiff Socks podcast join us to discuss an array of spicy subjects – how often guys are actually jerking off (and why they should never do it before a date), the best time of day to have sex, the perfect length of time for penetration, why lingerie can sometimes be a turnoff, the pros and cons of counter sex, and (on a more wholesome note) what their friendship is actually like. We also have them dissect some wild "Is this weird?" submissions from our listeners. Before the guys join us, we're talking about dressing for the male gaze vs. dressing for your partner, Rayna meeting her nephew for the first time, and Ashley's Christmas-came-early theory. Enjoy! Follow Trevor and Michael on Instagram @trevorwallace and @blaucomedy, watch their comedy specials Pterodactyl and Silly Goose, and listen to their podcast Stiff Socks. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/GGE Helix: Get 20% off plus 2 free pillows at https://helixsleep.com/GGE. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/GGE Nutrafol: Get $10 off any order and free shipping when you subscribe at https://nutrafol.com with code GGEGIFT. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. Aura Frames: Get $35 off Aura's Carver Mat Frames at https://auraframes.com with code GGE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dude, if you start your day like that, it is, you're off to a rocky start. If I came this morning, I wouldn't be here right now. Really? No, I'd be a drive an hour? Are you fucking kidding me? This podcast is a dear media production. Hi guys. Hi guys.

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Are you going to bring up Thanksgiving? No, I'm done. For the fifth time. I'm done. Plot twist, I am. Okay, what do you want to say?

Okay. So this is annoying now. No, seriously, this is my whole story. Going back on stuff I've said previously. That's true. Within the same week, I'll do it sometimes. You'll change, like, where you want to live, what trip we're taking. Even, like, on a small, a trivial scale.

Like, I was like, I would never post more than eight photos in a carousel. One week later, 14. People are like, Ashley, I'm like, I don't care. I don't stand on Princess. I don't care who she was last week. This is who she is this week. One thing about me is I will not stand on business. One thing about me is I will go back on my word.

So don't listen to anything. One thing on me, I'm a hypocrite. Okay. So I know it's dated now, but it is we're just getting back from the holidays and stuff like that. I felt like Christmas happened. And I think I know why. Raina, I literally was at my parents' farm and like, when's Raina getting here? Do I have an offer for New Year's?

Like, I could not seem to grasp that it wasn't Christmas. And I think there's a few reasons. One, I've watched seven Christmas movies. I don't know. When you said that when you got to the house today. I'm at seven. And next week on the snack, I'm going to do a power ranking. But I got, I ordered a tree for myself, a fake one just to have.

For the house? For my house here in L.A. Yeah. Just a nice, like, Amazon fake one to have got my Christmas tree with Sparkle Eyes in Boston. Yeah. Like went and got a tree, did the whole thing. Like, we went and saw the tree in Rojobith in Delaware. Like, I've done too much where I'm like, I can't believe it's not Christmas yet.

This is a good feeling. You blew your load. I really blew my load. Like at Thanksgiving. Like I literally kept having to remind myself that you like weren't going to be there. And it wasn't because you're like boycotting Christmas. Like it's still still coming. We still have to do our shows.

It was weird. I don't know if anybody felt like it started earlier this year or something. It's the movies, the music, the trees. I just, yeah. Well, I was in a different country than you. But like, London does Christmas more than any city I've ever seen in my entire life. Like I've never seen anything. like it. There was an installation everywhere you looked.

Every street had like blankets of Christmas lights above you. Just like thousands of Christmas lights, installations of stars and angels. I've just, I've never seen a city like roll out Christmas like that. It was wild. I love that. I'm here for it. I want it to last as long as possible. I don't know.

I swear to it, listen, every year do I make comments about how dark it gets so early? I feel like this year it's been getting darker. The darkness is darker. I know. And I swear it's earlier. And my dad, like, every day. Like every day in London, like 1.30, it's going to get dark soon. Like, he gave me an updated report.

It's crazy. Another one of my friends told me her parents gave her, like, an updated report, like, 2 p.m. But it is darker. Did it get darker in London? Early. London, it was dark at noon. Because you never know. It's just dark every day. It rains a lot.

They, my brother told me they have, like, I don't know, something like, 85 different ways to describe rain and the different types of rain that day. It's just the sun never came out. It couldn't be me. Yeah. Okay. Well, anyway. All right.

Let's take some partners. Bill, get points by paying rent at joinbilt.com slash GGE. and Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at RocketMoney.com slash GGE. And last but not least, Quince, thank you to them. Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at quince.com

slash GGE. And thank you to Nutraful. Get $10 off any order and free shipping when you subscribe at Nutraful.com with code GGEGIFT. And Helix get 20% off plus two free pillows at HelixSleep.com slash GGE and ORA frames. Get $35 off ORA's car

Matt Frames atoraframes.com with code GGE. All right. Well, this is it. This is a holiday show week. Show week. Speaking of Christmas, I love Christmas in New York. You love Christmas in New York. You love Christmas in New York more than anybody. I guess you guys are picking up on anywhere. I love Christmas anywhere. Probably not in like. Next week. Should I change your mark? Blue states only. Not in a red state. I like red and green in a blue state. So this is show week. Raina. Have you realized? Seventh annual New York City. Holiday. holiday shows for girls got to eat. It is.

Seventh annual. We have done this since 2018. Holy shit. Which means 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. Do you know the favorite one? Yeah. The Apollo? Yeah, the Apollo.

Okay, we've had some funny things happen. One time this guy announced the show and started it early. And Ashley and I were two leagues below sea. We were just chilling. She was pooping. I was wiping my butthole and I hear the music start. I was like, it can't be happening. I just had to drop my run.

rental. We run the runway. I do go back the next day. I think we've told this on the podcast if you guys are, oh, geez. But, you know, if I can't remember, then some of you probably can't remember. But yeah, it was a whole mess. This has happened low-key one time since because it happened one time in Denver Comedy Works. But, you know, they're the best and they've got to pass.

But where the show started without us and we were two floors down, we had to run up these steps and these gowns, skin marks and all. I didn't think Raina was going to make it. I looked behind her like, like it was the Titanic. and she was like drowning behind me. I was like, she's not going to make it up these steps. We had to blow in those door. I would body check those girls.

Yeah. Just like blew through them. And then the strippers started because you bought me a stripper one year for Christmas. Like that's how it all got started. And that was the holiday show where you like bought me my first stripper. That was at the beacon in 2021. Well, okay. So you asked me favorite holiday show.

Newark holiday show. But I mean, I hate to pick favorites because we love all the shows. Well, most of them. Like there are children. But Chicago Theater. 2021 is one of my favorite shows of all time and that was a holiday show but new york for whatever reason i mean we really love them all and the first time we did one at grammar see we you know was so special and the beacon selling out the beacon for the first time was just so iconic town hall i mean

they all are really special but the apollo one just hit different i don't know what it was it was wilder it was crazier they were like what are these white girls doing in here it was an honor and they let us know that it was an honor they could not stop stopping into the green room to be like just so you know we let you perform here it was an honor well we'll see you on the 13th and the 14th this week for two holiday shows. There are some tickets left for the first show on the 13th. The 14th is just about sold out.

So we'll see you there and then Boston the following weekend. We have three shows at the Wilbur. There is one show. There's still some tickets left. It's that late show? Late show Friday. We have great guests for you guys. We have special performances. Get those tickets. I mean, these shows are going to be absolutely incredible. We were just planning it before. We're going to get so many of up on stage. We're going to give away

gifts. It's going to be really so fun. And then if you're coming to the shows, please email us at Stories at Girls Gotta Eat.com and tell us crazy shit about the people in your party, roast your friends, your partner that you're coming with. Just tell us if you're looking for anything at the show in particular. You maybe bring your mom, your grandma, let us know. Just the funer of the better. Women with you.

Yes, this is our favorite way to end the year and we just love you guys so much. So Stories at Girlsgott Eat.com, we'll see you there. As always, we sell the vibes only friendship bracelets at the shows. This is something that we have been selling exclusively at the show. and they're these beautiful charms that you can put in your bag, buy with your friends. It's a heart-shaped pink vibrator bracelet. They will be available to all five shows, and we're going to put them on the website. Listen, this was never our plan, but you guys really wanted them.

Like, you want to gift these. And so we put a few more in production because we were only going to sell these at the live shows. But people really wanted them for stocking stuffers. And we don't want to deprive you guys because we love them. They're so special. Again, you can be friendship bracelets, bag charms, whatever you want to do. They have this great vibrator. and we custom made them for the tour.

And so obviously you should buy them at the shows if you're coming to the shows. You don't have to pay shipping. Come get up at the shows. Have the whole experience. You know, hit the merch table, make friends. You know, we pop out there sometimes. So if you're coming to New York and Boston, just plan on that. But if you aren't able to make it to the shows and you want these, they're going to be on the website.

Starting today. Yeah. And this week is last week to get domestic shipping guaranteed by Christmas. So that's at vibes only.com. Shop everything. Shop a site. If you're watching YouTube, you can see them right now. They're so cute and fun.

Thank you for your support. We love you guys so much. Thank you for shopping. I know this is a little dated, but the Black Friday sale and the Cyber Monday sale and you guys want crazy. So thank you.

And also, I mean, if you still have people you're wanting to get gifts for and you guys want to come to the shows, make some great little gifts. Yeah. Because they're not going to be any shows to gift for next year.

Because people always do that. They give tickets on Christmas morning, but. French or bracelets it is. Maybe I'll wear it down. We'll do a tour. I don't know. We'll say, no.

Okay. I just bought it all laughing. I have to tell you this thing. Okay. It made me laugh. from Europe. She didn't go to Italy, you guys. Just Paris and London.

And the jet lag is really so hard because Paris is a 10-hour time difference from us. London is nine hours. I used to be able to deal with it from New York. On the East Coast, no biggie. I'm like, I've been fucked up. I cannot sleep through the night. So the first night I got back to a couple nights ago, I went to sleep at like, I don't know, like 9, it will go 3 a.m.

And I was up since 3 a.m. And I was like, I cannot have another day like this. Like, I feel so sick. I'll just take a sleeping pill. But also, I was really constipated. And I've been like really constipated. I ate like so many meals on the plane and so much food before the plane. So many meals.

So many meals. I ate the appetizers, the entrees, the desserts, all of it. So then I took two laxatives, which I never, ever, ever take. I'll take a little metamucal every once in a while. But like I took some duralax and on top of the sleeping pills. I took two duralax and one sleeping pills. Did you shake your bed? And I texted Brittany.

Raina, this is like a death dish. Like if someone would have looked in, they would have been like, this girl would have taken a lot of pills. it was taking a lot of pills. It just never occurred to me. It was a bad idea. I was like, texting me with our friend Brittany, who should come to Paris with me because we had all these like problems sleeping.

And she was like, what do you mean? You took a sleepy pill and laxatives. No, like, it's like you wanted to shit the best. And I was like, well, there's nothing I can do about it now. It should pray. Oh my God.

I did not poop in my bed, thank God. But also, I'm moving in a couple days. So who cares. I'm thinking of my shit here. Who cares? One last thing. Honestly, it's like I'll just leave in here. I don't care.

I'll take a shit on the floor. Yeah, I'll just go sleep in my new house. What I fucking care. It's so funny. It was like one of those moments and you're like, oh, no. Yeah. And I took the sleeping pill like a half an hour after I'd taken the laxative. I just, I woke up at four.

What if like someone found you like that? Like, what if something happened? That's how they found your body. Pooped on my stuff. Just covered in your own shit. And they had to autopsy that shit. And they were like, it was ambient and dolcalax. I don't know.

And everybody would be like, that's Raynal. She died doing what she loved. Shitting the bed. When I realized I was leaving here at a couple days, I was like, I literally don't care. That's so funny. You're bringing your bed. I am bringing it with me.

But I wanted to be in the same room that I shit in the bed and then slept in it. You had to live like that. I can flip the mattress. Remember when you shit in your house? Did I? Right before the first holiday. shows. When you came back from Mexico, you shit in your house. On the floor. You guys, I went to Mexico City, which I loved. It was amazing. On the flight back, I was like,

oh, no, something is not right. I was, like, shaking. And I spent, like, there was the worst food poison I've ever heard of anybody getting. Like, it lasted a long time. It lasted, like, a week. And at one point, I was just, like, shaking in bed, naked. And I was like, oh, no, I have to throw up. and I got up and ran across the apartment to throw up, and I threw up in the middle of the living room, and the pressure made me also shat out myself. And again, like, it was my lowest moment in the world. More BTS from the first year, 2018, Gramercy Theater.

Like, you pulled it together just in time for the shows. Never looked better. Like, all week I was, like, running the company. I was like, Rayna's just a shitty in her house. Like, I'm happy to pick up the slack here, you know, and you finally pulled it out. And that's so funny that the person who was shitty when the show started was actually me, not you.

I will say, I've never been sick for it. a show. The adrenaline will carry you through. Yeah. Okay. Well, those are our announcements. Can't wait to see you guys at the shows, Vibesonly.com for the friendship bracelets. And, you know, while we're here, I just wanted to follow up on something from last week because we talked about the guy in the plane and trying to read his text messages. And we got multiple messages. I got a few personal. I just saw an email come through. And Alyssa, our friend, was like, the trick is you have to take a photo of his phone and then zoom in or just use your zoom on your phone. Bitches, if you think that was the thing I did. I didn't even think I had to say it in the story because I did that. That was the first

thing I did. I could not get a great angle, but I tried anyway. He would have seen me. People can see you. I mean, I know when somebody's taking a photo of me next to me. I mean, we're sharing an armrest. But I hear you guys. And that is a good strategy. But I did try. I'm going to put the photo on YouTube. I'll show you guys. I have the receipt. And I couldn't see it. It was too blurry. But it probably was my angle. But I do that all the time. Like, if I'm trying to read something from far away, I'll just put my phone on. And Zoom with my phone. Like if a Wi-Fi password's on a wall somewhere far away, like, do you ever use your phone as like your eye? Do I ever? Do you know how blind I am? Okay, you know when you're in a line and

there's like five people at a restaurant and there's like a menu up at the top? I, normal people could probably see those menus from like a block away. Not me. You have to get your phone out. I get my phone out, take a photo and then I zoom in. I'm not trying to like squint. Right. So I just want to tell you guys that obviously I did that and you know, I can't be on record not doing the number one thing that anyone would do. Oh, it never occurred to me. But yeah, it didn't work out. It didn't occur to me. When our friend told us this morning, she was like, you could take a photo, but I was like, of course you have a solution. And you were like, yeah, of course I did that.

Yeah. And I sent you the photo. I was like, I can't read this. Well, I want to talk about this thing. And last week we talked with Ashley, who you guys really loved this episode. We saw nothing but positive feedback. I mean, she talked about swearing off men and people felt inspired by it and people had nothing but nice things to say.

I was really happy. Like, you know, I was reading comments pretty much everywhere. And, you know, nothing negative. And we got some emails. And so we really did appreciate you guys embracing that episode and just really, really liking her, but she talked a lot about the male gaze and like living for the male gaze and dressing and doing different things and living life that way when you're single. But I saw this comment on our YouTube. It made me cry. But I just wanted to read it to you and then kind of talk

about this. So this woman wrote on our YouTube, at 59 years old, I had no idea how much I dressed from my husband until he passed away unexpectedly in May. Every time I get dressed since I've thought, oh, he's not going to see me in this. And it took the joy and fun out of putting together an outfit for me and it really hit me hard, which like, I'm not trying to, like, bring the mood down. It just really, like, broke my heart. Obviously, we like send our love to her and we responded back on the YouTube and she responded back. And so, you know, I, that was just an interesting sentiment.

And then someone else commented on Instagram of like, this episode felt different from Caroline's episode because I feel like Caroline also talked about, like, I want to look good for my husband and he needs to look good for me, you know, or at least presentable to me. And I just started thinking about the difference between dressing for your partner versus dressing for the male gays, which essentially is just like potential partners and strangers and like all men in the world. Because I really like to dress for my partner. Totally. Like he didn't ask that of me, but I like really like to think about outfits for date night and the same for him too. He likes to dress and what he knows I like. So I just thought it was an

interesting thing. Like it's different. It feels different. You're not dressing for men doesn't feel like dressing for your partner that you already have. Well, I think it's completely different. Like one's just like for a bunch of strangers and the potential that like you're going to go to the grocery store and everybody's going to look at you. And like the other is like I want I want you to find me attractive. You've chosen me. I've chosen you. I want you to be excited about what I'm wearing. I want you to feel like you're out with a prize when we're out of dinner together and you're excited about what I've chosen.

I want you to speak of me like, man, she looks so good last night. I love the way she dresses. I love the way we dress together. I like you to feel proud that you're walking into the door with me. And like we talked about this a couple years ago with my last boyfriend that he always liked to like pick my outfits. And I loved it. Like I would just have fun like trying stuff off for him and he'd be like I like this. Like it's different than telling somebody what to wear.

But we just, I always really had a lot of fun like picking stuff out. I thought he would really like and having him be like I like this. I like this. You know what I mean? And him being like, you always look so pretty. You know, that's so fun for me. Yeah. And then you get to dress them too, you know, and like buy them stuff and they wear it.

But I don't know. I just like this woman's comment's been like sitting with me. You know, and how painful that must be, too, you know, like the fun in something has been, like, dressing up to impress your partner and then they're gone and, like, reconciling that. And, you know, I hope she's obviously dealing with that in her own way and, like, trying to find the joy again and, like, getting dressed. Because, like, we all should get excited to, like, put on a nice outfit and, you know, find the joy in that. And I feel like that's what our friend who's a stylist, Lillian Charles really speaks to that. And, like, you should have fun with fashion and, like, do something that makes you feel good.

and brings you joy and stuff like that. So I just thought it was like an interesting thing because, you know, maybe some people think more critically about it than others. But if someone was like, wait, I'm dressing for a man when you're just dressing for your partner that just does feel different. That's totally different.

I think we all do that. I think it's great. And I think they should be doing it back. I feel sad for her that this thing that is just an everyday thing spikes that feeling now because she does have to do it every day. And when you lose a partner or when you go through a breakup, and certainly those are completely different things

when somebody dies or you go through a breakup. But yeah, everyday things that you used to do with that person kind of feel like it's this memory of this thing you used to do with somebody. And hopefully you can like find a new memory to associate with that task. And maybe let your friends or family or whoever, people who care about you kind of take the place to that. Like I would express that. Now we're giving therapy to this woman because of her one comment.

But I would express that to people who care about her if she hasn't already. I've been like, this is why you used to wear these certain things. and, you know, maybe can we set up, like, a dinner and dress up and kind of feel that validation with other people, like other loved ones in her life, too. I agree with you. And how you dress has so much too with how you feel. And one thing you and I did with this whole tour was we, like, themed it. And that's made it really fun for me to see how everybody just, like, takes those ideas

and makes them really creative and does them with their friends. And I like the idea to take kind of, like, make it an event, you know, that you and your friends all do this thing and you all get dressed up together. Yes. It sounds like this hit her hard. And I love the idea of, like, get the girls together. and like go out and all dress up and she has like a reason to have fun getting dressed again. I love those texts before dinner. It's just like, what are you going to wear? Yeah. And like the first

person that speaks wins. Like I always feel like if I get to it first, then like, you know, if you're like, I'm just going to look like shit. I'm not going to put my makeup on. Everyone's just like, oh, thank God me too. In that direction. Yeah. Yes. When someone's like, I'm being cute tonight, guys. And then like you're in charge of the group. Then everyone else is to get cute that night. Oh my God. That is the best text. Like I think that's what we all saw mean girls. Like everyone was like, what are we wearing? And we were all like sweatpants are all that fits me right now. Like everybody wore like leggings, sweatpants, hugs. It's girlhood.

What's everyone wearing tonight? Yeah. Okay. Well, you met your nephew. I love him so much. I mean, listen, some of this stuff is just going to sound like, yeah, no shit, but like I don't have any experience of babies. I haven't been around a newborn baby.

Like he's three weeks old. He doesn't really do much, you know? Like they don't really make eye contact. They don't really smile that much. Like it probably takes like a few more weeks. to do that kind of stuff. He mostly slept, but, like, I just, like, held on to him and just cuddled him every second. I just, like, love him so much.

And he looks so much like my brother's hysterical. It's, crazy. It's, like, a man's face on a baby's body. It's really wild. I can't stop laughing at it. And, like, I just, I love him so much. I bought him out. I couldn't stop.

I bought him, like, a ton of outfits in Paris. And then I got to London. I walked by Baby Gap. I went to Baby Gap, I don't a ton more stuff. Yeah. I bought my sister in lots in pajamas. So she had something, like, comfy to be in. And I just haven't been around a baby that much.

I mean, it is, do you know how much work that shit is? I have always, like, respected all hard it is to be a mom. I have, like, a very different new understanding of this. Yeah. Like, again, most people are like, yeah, no shit. Well, this is my first experience with an infant. My sister-in-law has to feed, like, eight to ten times a day. She's just a feeding tube.

Her whole bot. And then, I mean, they sleep in shifts, her and my brother. Just like a couple hours here and there. She said, change him like 12 times a day, 15 times a day. Like, it's so much fucking work. And they were incredible. I did not hear either one of them complain for one second. I mean, it's the choice they made, you know, and they love him.

But like, they never said, like, I'm too tired. Like, my sister-in-law asked me so many nice questions about the podcast on my new house. And I was, like, really impressed by her ability to, like, pay attention to anything besides this kid. Because I don't know if I could have. It is really so crazy. I mean, when I saw Stephanie, when they had their second child, when Jay was, like, still a baby. That's crazy. That is to that's a crazy thing. How do people have twins? I kept thinking about your sister-in-law because like the one baby was I just didn't realize it.

It is just, it's, it's, but people used to be like, I can't even take a shower. I'd be like, I don't know what you mean. You just literally can't do anything. Yeah. I mean, unless you, obviously your partner's there to relieve you, hopefully. But how people, people just have like twins or three? That's insane. I knew a girl from college who had triplets. I would be like, take a In my sorority. You guys take one he's back. Three girls. That's insane.

What do you? I don't know you do. Bitch how. I don't know. Because you only have two tits. I don't know how you do it. You got to like that is, it's crazy. I mean, I just have so much respect for bottles.

People have one kid. I don't know how you do it. My brother is like such a teammate to her. Like he'll take the first shift so she can sleep. And like, I don't know how people do it. Single moms? Single moms. I don't want to do shit.

I know. You are America's, the world's heroes. I don't know how you do it. Well, I'm so glad. But I love him. She was just wonderful. And he, like, he has this cute little, like, pillow. I don't know what you call it.

You stick him in it. Yeah, yeah. They just, like, so I stuck him on the counter while I cooked and you just sat on the counter. I love him. I just said him on the counter. When there's just a baby, like, on the counter. Or, like, it's on the kitchen table. It's so funny to me.

He was just up on the butcher block while I was, like, chopping stuff. It's so funny. I was with my nephews. And, I mean, Aaron is getting there. He's getting a little bit of, more of like a personality, you know, he'll be won in a few weeks. Wow, it's been a year already. I know, but Jay, oh, I, Jay's, I mean, I can't believe how advanced he is.

He just turned two. It's like he loves all his old sports. He'll be out in the back, like playing with his hockey sticks. He has his basketball. Like, he just, he remembers everything. He knows everybody's names. He just, you have normal conversations with him. Like, I forget that he's two.

You just can talk to him, like an adult. I love him. We're just talking. Like, I can't, I can't believe we got it. here. Like I was like, this is what I was looking for. We're just, we're talking. We're having conversations. This is crazy. Oh, it is really crazy. And then he'll hit like, I don't know, like, 10 and he'll start to smell bad and like, he won't want to hang out anymore. So like, enjoy these couple years. I know. That's got to be tough. That's parents. Like just, I love when they're

so snugly. I know. Oh, my God. Oh, those teenagers. Oh, yeah. But I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to see his old. Oh, my God. Did you just like die so much to see him. Yeah, it was just, it was so special to be like with him and, and the fam and everything over Christmas. But, but we have Trevor and Michael today you guys this episode don't drive your car beyond no there's the point where you need to pull over there's a moment I was like editing this and I was had to stop and like cry and laughing so we hope you guys enjoy yeah you guys are going to love this episode it is just like laugh out loud funny it is crazy so we're so excited to have them back but first we're just going to thank a couple partners this is a PSA for anyone who rents if you haven't heard of Bill

about to thank us. Earning points on rent is now a reality when you pay your rent through built. You don't even have to check with your landlord to start earning points that you can use towards flights, hotels, days, fitness classes, and even your next rent payment. Let us break it down for you. So there's no cost to join built. And as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and on your everyday spending. Build points can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines.

And even the ones you haven't heard of, there are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world. You could redeem your built points towards. points can be redeemed towards a future rent payment and unique experiences that only Bilt members can access. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, why not? Start earning points on rent. You're already paying by going to joinbilt.com slash GGE. That's J-O-I-N-B-B-I-L-T.com slash G-G-E. Make sure to use our URL so they know who sent you at JoinBilt.com slash G-GE to start

earning points on your rent payments today. Okay, and I'm going to tell you guys about Nutraful, which, listen, thank you guys forever leaving a comment about my hair because if you've been listening for the last year plus, you know that I have been on a hair journey. And sometimes people just say like, Ashley's hair is looking good, like on YouTube or in the Instagram comments. It just means a lot. It is looking great. So I dealt with something where I just had a lot of hair thinning and shedding and hair issues. And I just really did turn to Nutraful. And I've seen improved hair growth, decreased shedding, which I think you really notice in the shower. I think we all know how much hair we lose in the shower. And you know

when it's more and you know when it's less. And visible thickness, of course, that my nails are so strong and long. And so I just can't imagine my life without it. I take my four pills daily with a meal. And I just think it's really something that you can use if hair thinning is your concern, which hair thinning affects nearly half of all women. And this is a great gift too. So this holiday season, if you're searching for a thoughtful, unique gift, consider neuterful for the special people in your life who may be experiencing hair thinning. I mean, this is a good gift because it might be something that someone really wants or needs, but doesn't want to spend the money or buy for themselves. So I just really think it's such a good gift. I mean, if you could buy someone like the

next three months, like they'd be like, oh, wow, this is amazing. So I've gifted it before. I really recommend it. But I mean, for yourself or for someone else. And this is just really going to improve their hair. Nutraful is the number one dermatologist's recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one million people. You can see thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutraful. And it really targets the root cause. And it really targets the root cause of hair thinning because everyone's causes are different and there's different formulas for whatever you're going through. You just get on the website and see what's going to work best for you what you're dealing with. So whether you're gifting to yourself or loved one, give the gift of great

hair growth this holiday season. Right now, Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off any order. Enjoy free shipping when you subscribe. Go to Nutraful.com and enter the promo code GGE gift. Neutraful.com is N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code G-G-E G-GF. That's Nutraful.com.com.com. promo code GGE gift. Okay. You guys, Quince has taken all my money this holiday season. Oh my gosh. I cannot get enough of it. It's amazing. You go on their website and it's like a little bit of luxury at affordable prices. They have everything. Bags, belts, sweaters. I have bought so many. They have these iconic like Mongolian cashmere sweaters. They started $50. I wore the burgundy one last week for the episode. I get so many comments on it. It comes in so many colors. I have a lightweight button down

cardigan from them. I have like a couple. They have a turtleneck version. I mean, the colors are incredible. The quality is amazing. The prices, I can't honestly believe it. And so this is really great for yourself or for other people. They have 14-carriage gold jewelry. They have leather handbags. I bought this hobo bag the other day also. They have European linen sheets, which I also have on my bed upstairs. I'm really quenced out. Whatever you're looking for, they have items that are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. And honestly, the quality is fantastic. I love the sheet. did I have here. I love my bag. I love my sweaters. I'm so obsessed with Quince. So this is really great for anybody in your life. You're looking for gifts for the holiday season for anybody of any age.

It is perfect. GIF's luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to Quince.com slash GGE for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's QINCE.com to get free shipping and 365 day returns at quince.com slash GGE. Okay. Let's get into it. Michael, Guys, this is Michael Blouse on our girls got to eat. Your turn. Trevor Wallace, my girls got to eat. We did it. So, guys, phone cases.

This is the first time in seven years we've allowed somebody else to introduce themselves. Let's like whatever. Everybody's female forward. Let's go men forward. Our podcast. Guys got to eat. Nothing matters. Did you guys celebrate yesterday?

Was it yesterday? Was it? Was it? Was it? Did Donald Trump invent that? What the fuck? And I didn't celebrate? Literally, I would have ate some fucking elk and killed something.

exactly did you jerk off at least no but I got some wow talking about a men's day someone jerked him off yeah yeah okay someone did you fuck oh my god I don't know what's happening you're getting a lot of handjobs the last I love them the last like three days something like I have like an extended period of time where I'm just like it's like it's like it's like a it's like a my period spit it out what do you mean you're in heat yeah I'm in heat yes every that's your cycle. You do need to be neutered, I will say. I think so. I need to have one less ball. You have like a phase, like a, like, there's like a, what are you trying to say? He's a horny week of the month. Yeah. What do you think it is? That's so funny that you're like,

it's my time of the month. It's my time of month. It's literally my horny period. Are you still coming on the floor? Because our audience wanted to know. You know you don't. You still come on the floor. Ma'am, look at me. Yes. Michael, you, you have changed my hotel behavior. I put on socks in every hotel room now because I think about you and your come on the floor in the hotel room. I mean, you should. I mean, you should. Not even me. I mean, people have, like, died in hotel. Like, you need to always wear shoes. I put on socks now.

You change my life. Anyways, you guys, we have these comedians, Trevor Michael. What a great intro. Trevor said you that. Yeah, we have these comedians. Better than ours? We saw them up for an heroin. We got these comedians, I guess.

I didn't really have the much to say by you guys. Your reputation kind of precedes you guys. Like, to say your name is the intros. We have Trevor. No, I like your. We're going to make guests start intro. Yeah, we're going to make them do their intros. I love that.

That's 2025. Yeah. You have to do your own intro of themselves. What does you guys do. for Men's Day. How did you celebrate us yesterday? Great question. Why would we celebrate that? What? We made a bunch of our own money. We did so much to push this country forward in the last 200 years. Are you in stained?

My great, great, great grandpa fought in a war and you're just not going to celebrate men's day. My grandma fought so we could vote. Who did? I'm wearing a cardigan. I don't have a lot to say. Yeah, you look like a grandma. Guys, can we talk about guys phone cases? Yes, please. It really occurred to me that like it's a new ick. Because Ashley, now, you guys make fun of me in Ashley because we've square cases, but I mean, that's the elite case. It's really not. It looks like you have a Kindle to answer your phone. Right now, right? Elite case for women.

For women. For women. So I want to talk about this. I don't see gender. It's men's day. Relax. Now that I'm thinking about it, my fiance doesn't do a case. He's raw dog. I get nervous holding his phone. Me too. Like I'm going to drop it. Because women are so, we're so case. But like men's cases like give me the otterbox cases. Otterbox is nuts. Your guy's kind of ugly. If you're not in instruction and you have an auto box and you don't free dive, then you shouldn't have it. No, if you work construction, you can have an auto box. That's what I'm saying.

If you work in HR, you have an auto box, you're the problem. Don't report yourself for your own HR. You're going to drop kick your phone down the stairwell at Salesforce. I'm a clear. That's fine. Great. That's great. Yes.

I think that's a go-to-man's case. You're a raw dog, but just a wallet. Cards on the back. I'm raw dog and I have a, yeah, like a little wallet on the back. Which gives it a little friction. He's not only to let you know he's a raw dog, but he's also rich, is what he's trying to say. Like look at my Amex black card. You have a black card?

No, no, no, no. But at least platinum. I don't do Amex. What do you have? I do Chase Sapphire. Okay. All right, we do that. Yeah.

Yeah, Reserve. It's better for travel. Not an ad. It's better for travel. I want a metal ID card. I want to hand it to a balance. He's like ID and I go, don't know. Like, there's something about the metal on.

That would be so sick, dude. That sounds very LA. This guy must be 47. I can see that happening here. Yeah, yeah. Did you know, speaking of like, elitism? You know there's a dude that was a producer of some show I was on whatever years ago, and he had a parking, like a red parking square.

It means that he could park anywhere. In the city? Where do you get that from like this commissioner? It's a sticker? I do not know. It's a red sticker that he had. Should we make them? Yeah, red tape.

I feel like we could do this? I don't know, but I was blown away. I feel like you get that from like the governor. But maybe. But literally it was like, you know how like diplomats can like kill people and then everyone's fine? And then they go back to wherever they're from. Yeah. It's the same thing with.

It's like a key to the city. Yes. That's crazy. What is that? What do you do with that? I don't know, because I think Diddy did get one, and I think maybe they revoked his key. Well, he needs to get out of jail free car. He doesn't need a key.

What city? What city? I don't know. He just seems like someone that would have one. Party City? Probably New York. No, I'm in. That was great.

What did you say? He said, party city? Thank you. It was funny to didn't hear it. Wow. I really thought regurgitating it would bomb, but thank God. No, that was great. That was good.

No, we love it. So you guys are going on tour. It's an aggressive tour. There are so many stops. We have the same agent. And Ashley and I like sent the poster back to our agent. We're like, you really booked that. No, we saw it.

And I started, I felt like anxious. I am the most productive, like, productive and go-gitter guy when I'm at home. So when they're sending me all these dates like 10 days in a row in a bus, I'm like, fuck yeah, let's do it. And then you're like in the middle of it. You're day three like, I'm going to kill myself. No, because you guys are going to be what like on a Tuesday in like Wisconsin probably. Something like that. Yeah.

No, I will agree to stuff and Ashley has to remind me that I will not enjoy it. Because, like, me at home, I'm like, that sounds fine. Rayna in the future will be fine. And she has to remind me, like, you're not going to enjoy this or be fine. That's very smart. So is this your first tour together? First tour together. And you guys, obviously, you have your own thriving careers.

You had to fit it in and you're doing a tour bus to, like, make it work. Yeah, we're just like, how can we get as many dates as possible in a little time as possible? Like you guys, do you guys? Jerking off together. How bad is that bus coming on the bus floor? That bus smells so bad. Good. Because it's like pineapple.

Jerking each other off. How many stops? How many style? I think it's 11 shows. 11? 11. 11. Okay.

And 11 stops at 11 days, right? Yes. Where are you starting and where are you ending? Starting in Albany and the Atlanta. Couties. Oh, so it's so in sync. Yeah. Okay.

It'll be so fun. I think like Pace 7 will like have a gun on each other's head, like suck me off or die. But then in like a month from now, like, we'll be, dude, that was so fun. Totally. I mean, people always ask us, like, how do you do it? And I'm like, we sleep during the day. Yeah.

You know, like you guys, if you can sleep enough and you're also going on adrenaline, like you can make it work. Yeah, my dad's like, you got to explore Portland Maine. Explore Portland Maine. Well, actually, you really should. Well, fuck. Really? We're just really, really big Portland Maine fans.

Oh, really? Why? The food. Yes, the food's incredible. The waterfront is gorgeous. You get the whole city down in one day. And it's so cute. You guys are going to be so cute together, like walking the streets.

Well, we're going to make content out there and do shit out there. It'll be fun. I'm not a big. I'm not a big check. the city out guy. This guy will give me food recommendations. I'm like, dude, of course. He went to Hawaii,

went to a P. F. Chang. I could fucking beat this guy's ass. Oh, you're not big at the food on vacation? I'm not a big, like, explore. I'm a big, like, hotel, go get to Starbucks, go work out, come on the ground, do the show, go back to the hotel room, leave. Well, that's on work trips, right?

Like, on a vacation with, like, a girlfriend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He will give that rating towards that city base. He'll, like, eat a P. And it's not good. And I'm like, dude, Hawaii sucks. I'm like, no, it doesn't.

I did. But you went to a cheesecake factory and they burned your water. It's not their fault. I love cheesecake factory. Me too. I'm a writer-deat Hawaii guy. I love it. Same.

I love Hawaii. It's the best. It's the best. It's like, I didn't leave Honolulu. I went to like a cheesecake factory. It was like any other city. And I'm like,

it was Fort Lauderdale. I'm like, did you? I am so mad at this. That's exactly what you would think. Do you do anything? If you went to Honolulu and just went to, yeah. I got on a plane for 9,000 hours to go to Boca Raton. That's where I went.

Okay, that's a work trip. Ashley and I will land. We've checked in the hotel. We have to do work. And then we'll go to sound check at 6. And so we'll take a nap and relax. Yeah, of course. But on like an actual trip, we're really getting in there.

We're booking all kinds of like boats, hikes, restaurants. On an actual trip for sure, I will say even on an actual trip, if I'm not like with a girlfriend that's like great at planning, it's, I fall. I fall short. That's what girls are short. I am short. So that's what happens. Yeah. No one gives taller energy.

Five, eight. No, you're not. Yeah, I am. No, this is the whole thing. Everybody talks about it. Everyone is like, oh, blouse, 6-1. The, I've told a million times. Dude, the amount of times I do a meet and greet, and people are like, whoa, you're way short.

What are you? I talk about it for an hour on stake. Okay, you know what I think it is? I think it's your upper body. Oh. You do have a nice upper body. It's my shoulders. My shoulders are big, but I have a tiny head.

No. I think it accentuates the shoulders. My head is very tiny, and I have big shoulders. So it looks like my... I don't think your head's that small. It's proportionate to your body. It's because you're so loud and confident. No, it's his shoulders.

I just realized it. It is the shoulders. It is the shoulders. For sure. You have tall guys shoulders. My friend used to say I have action figure shoulders. Oh. But my head is very tiny, so it accentuates how big my shoulders.

So I think I maybe I look well tall, but I'm not at all. Low key, I mean, you have like a nice body under that shirt. Yep, I do. He's jacked. He's like way too jack to be a podcast. I saw a photo him once with no shirt on. and I was like, that's what's under there. That's great.

You never see it in the shoulders. It looks like you're wearing pads. It's like when you get into a new Kia, like 20, 24, you're like, dude, this has got all this? It's crazy. you guys got fucking car maps, Apple play, reverse cameras. Michael, will you take your shirt off? No. The Kia sole. That's true. Just a little bit? I can take mine off. Yeah. Okay. Take your car to get off. We'll go to the next. Take your neck card to get off. It would take them 20 minutes. He would have done it on men's day, but not today. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, I got a paste your body.

Let me say this. Let me juice him up a bit. He's been going, you've been working out way more than normal. Trevor, you do look bigger. Like, in a great way, you look great. Thank you. Yeah, even your face looks like beefier. You walked in and I was like he's not so skinny. Yeah.

See, my mom is the opposite. I was home. And moms always know if he lost like a pound. My mom's like, you look skinny. Really? I don't know. I think you look beefier. I do.

Is that a cardigan? Yeah. No, your face filled out a little bit. It's the gym. It's the gym. In a great way. I used to be a bigger fan of Michael, but... Did your balls drop, too?

No. Your voice feels deeper. Really? Trevor hit puberty. Oh, my God. Well, I was... I had rocks in my mouth in the way here. I was just gargling him.

I was trying to sound deeper voice. Well, you are quite a bit younger than Michael, right? Yep. Like, 10 years younger? Yeah. Okay. So, really quick, I'm just curious. What are you guys going to do on this tour?

Like, is it going to feel like the podcast, or are you both doing stand-up? Or is it just going to do you not know? So stand-up and stand-up. So we'll both do like, you know, 20, 25. Oh, cool. And then take a quick little break. And then we're going to do the podcast live at the end. Okay.

I love this. Are you standing or sitting? Both. So we're going to walk out, kind of standing, like, yeah, ba, bah, bah, hey. And then we're going to sit down. And then people have to rate whose was better. Yes. Oh, wow.

That's the first segment. Yeah. He goes, clap if Trevor did better and stand up and clap if Michael. Yeah. If you guys want us to come on and judge, we will do that. Really? We love to judgment. But you guys have been touring the podcast for a while.

so like any and all advice would be great. Yeah. Well, I'm excited for you guys. I'm sure it's going to be proud of all. I think we learned a lot from doing those. We haven't done a few live ones, but I think we made the mistake of like actually trying to do a podcast. Yeah.

Like there's not a thousand people watching. In front of a thousand people being like, shut up and yell at us. Like, so I think that's the- Tell us about coming on the ground. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we were going to do our very first show ever at Carolines in September 12th, 2018. I know RIP. I know that place means like so much to me.

were going to do a live podcast. We were going to do a topic, you know, and then like a week or so before Raina was like, what if we didn't do that? And we had guests and we didn't like record this for an episode. And we were like, okay. And it was such an amazing decision. And then what our show turned into was wild. Like it's a total, you know, all the entertainers and the cryo and the t-shirt guns and the dancers, all the stuff. But like, I'm so glad you said that. Because I can't even imagine if we were literally planning to sit down and be like, now let's record this to release. That's what everybody did back then, though.

Like, every podcast was like a panel discussion back back. And also, that's fine. A lot of podcasts do it and it makes sense. It just didn't make sense for us. Coming from the comedy space, we're just like, if we're having a conversation, nobody's like, oh my God, am I bombing? Because you never think about that

when you're just talking in a room. Yeah. But if there was like 500 people right here, I don't like that party city joke, huh? Like, now you're in your head, now you're trying to look for jokes. So it's so much easier to just go to the crowd because that's where your personality's come out.

We say they get to hear us talk like that every week, twice a week. So let's make it a party. And it's a more catered experience to that town, to those people. Totally. Oh, this sounds like it's going to be great, you guys. It's going to be awesome. I want to show a bunch. You know, what's really funny is just speaking of, like, you guys' energy together.

So we ask people they have questions for you guys. And one of the questions was, how much is genuine versus a bit, like, the energy between you guys? And it's so genuine. It's like the most genuine. To be around you guys is just like, that's what you're like. Do you socialize a lot as friends? I mean like a little bit. Okay.

Our schedules are insane. I know. Like it's like because it's like we're trying to do our individual torn our individual thing and then the podcast. It's just like it's just insane. But it's almost like that on purpose and I don't think guys socialize that much. Yeah. So it's like we live our lives outside of it and then we're like we can't wait to talk

about us on Tuesdays when we like record and catch up. Okay. But then we're on shows together and stuff and then we're texting each other just. So you guys are not friends. I'm just kidding. Business partners. Yeah. Like, would you be in each other's weddings?

Yes. Oh, fuck. What do I found out right now? Of course. Like, Raina's going to officiate mine. So just so you know. But I know what you're saying. The guys don't socialize the same way.

I mean, Ashley and I have a night off and we're like, let's get the girls together for dinner. Like, there's never a night that we're like, we want to socialize and like she's not included or vice versa. But him and I aren't social. We don't socialize. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah, we're pretty much.

We see each other at shows or we're texting each other back and forth about like. I'll see it work. Things in the news. Yeah, it's, he's my work husband. He's my only husband. So what is, what's your current relationship status? Sorry. Uh, taken. Okay. And Trevor. This guy's in love. And Trevor, you are, uh, you know, not taking. I feel like there could be something on the horizon. Okay. Great. But not like a long-term serious thing at the mom. I hope it turns into that. Okay. I want to be in a relationship. No one's judging you. I'm not in a relationship. I don't care. You don't have to be defensive. She sounds great. Takes his car,

it off. I don't know why I reacted like that, but I didn't get the reaction I wanted. We're still coming off men's day yesterday. You're not giving me shit. Like, okay, here's how I should have answered that. Yeah, I really wish that I was in a relationship. I don't know what your hopes and dreams are. I mean, like, at this moment, are you,

there's somebody in the world that thinks that you're their boyfriend? No, they don't think I'm their boyfriend, but it feels like there could be something like, oh, it's leading that direction. That's a beautiful time. I'm period, though. It is. You know what?

I see something on the horizon. And you're like, you're taking every moment. You're not taking for granted. You're just living right there. You're holding her hand and in new experiences. And then all of a sudden you're with them. And it's a goddamn beautiful thing. That's why I'm wearing cardigans.

You don't think I'm not falling in love over here? This guy looks like you can read. You really matched this really well. I mean, you look like a woman put this together. It looks nice. Uh-oh. Really like monochromatic. It looks great.

Monochromatic. It's like beige's like bages. Monochromatic is all one color. Yeah, this is like, this is monochromatic. Yeah, I would be on an easel or something together. Yeah, listen, I had this fit in my head. I was like, this is what I'm wearing tomorrow. Looks great.

You know what's great? You look like a hot girl's apartment. Does that make sense? Yes, it makes sense to me. You look cozy. Absolutely. Thank you. I feel you.

You fucking know what I mean? I need some, I need some. Oh my God. I have some in the house. You ever put your feet nugs? Oh, my God. Change your life, dude. No, no, no, it will.

It's like a cold sweat. It's weird. I have the only time put them on with socks. I like them. Slipper ugs are the tits. But if a man has not, like, slipped his foot into, like, a traditional hug. Like the boot or a slipper? Like, the real deal, the full boot.

Like, just to feel that warmth. I mean. Do men wear? I've seen men wear a guy. I've seen many a man. I've seen many a man wear us. Maybe rocking hugs. Yeah.

But they don't need to wear them out. I just want everyone to experience that luxury. Trevor, I have a question. Like, can you date more, like, more than one person at once? Are you kind of a one? One. Kind of a guy. What do you mean by date, though?

Like, will you have like two dates in a week with two different girls? No. Okay. A roster. No, a roster is just exhausting. Right. And we've talked about this before when, you know, Michael was single. It's like, you're already so busy.

You already talked to so many people in a day. And then you're like, oh, you were the, you had your brother went to like Iowa State. And she's like, what? I know. And you're like. You can't keep the story straight. And then you feel like an asshole. And you're like, and then she's doing the same thing.

She's like, wait, so you're in the NBA. You're like, me? You think I'm in the NBA? Who the fuck were you going out with last night? Is that where you have a Clippers t-shirt on? It's way too big. That shirt's so big on you. So you created Facebook, am I right?

Right. You're fucking Zuck. You're sucking the Zuck. So, no, I really don't. What type of sound do you think he makes when he comes? I think, is a notification. I think he comes quiet. I think silent cover.

Dude, I love his kind of fuck boy era. Yeah. He's getting harder. Zuck's wearing like, his hair out. He's wearing like boxy crop t-shirts, gold chain. But he's still with his wife, right? Like the same one you had? It's going to end soon. If I'm the wife, I'm nervous.

What are you doing wearing a gold chain around the house? No, that is such a tell. Marcus, you're a nerd. Does he take his phone to the bathroom? That's such a tell. When he goes to dinner, is the phone like this or the phone like this? He's got a privacy screen. Oh my God. He probably has seven phones. No, the chain? Dude, he went from just, he went from literally wearing

like sweaters to wearing like chain. Like he's trying to get random pussy. If I'm a woman, if my husband is wearing a gold chain, I got questions. You think he's like fucking the interns? Ma'am. Interns?

He's fucking AI robots. He literally just wore three from Tesla. I mean, you kidding me? This guy's getting blown by the Metaverse right now. So I was talking about like Bill Clinton the other day. I was like, do you know how crazy it is that like the president of the United States in the Oval Office was just getting a blowjob for an internet?

It's the first one. Like when you really think about that, it's so crazy. You don't think Ronald Reagan was piping out some fucking. I'm sure they all are. 100% That's the highest office in the nation. He's just the first one that got caught. Totally.

Isn't that just a crazy thing about? I said JFK, you don't think he was getting it? That stands for just fucking. Kind of. For the K, I'd want to help you out. Yeah, just fucking. I love, but I want a president who's getting head in the office. Doesn't it make you feel a little better about our country?

Yes, he's going to be happy. He's going to be a happier leader. I need you to make right decisions. I don't need you to make horny decisions. Drain your balls. Every single fuck. That should be the, first lady's job. I'm just joking.

Well, Hillary was like one less blowjob for me. She was busy. I just want to know what he was like before the blowjob versus after. Like before was he stressed, had a button like on a nuke. Like, I'm going to do it. He's like, Russia, you live again. I absolutely want a president that's getting blown. Yes. It's just more fun.

What do you guys like before a blowjob and after a blow job? What do you mean? Before and after. In terms of in terms of stress? In terms of stress and like how you feel after. I don't know if I fully understand the question. I don't either. I'm very willing to answer, but I don't know Okay, well, I'll read you. We got this email from this girl.

She said, I went on a date with this guy, ended up back at his place. Things got hot and heavy. But then he couldn't get it up. I asked if there's anything I can do to help. He said, no, I jerked off before I date. I didn't want to assume this, anything was going to happen on our date.

Do you guys, like, jerk off? Like, Rayna, that's not the question. And you need to re-ask that blow job question because you tried to cover it up. And I want to know what you meant by the blowjob question because that was not it. That question is correct. I agree with that.

Let's get back. I'm trying to I'm gonna say what do you like before and after a blowjob. I meant. I meant, oh, oh, but in terms of,

do you mean cuddling? We're talking about the president, like hitting the button. I hate that I have to explain this. I really am gonna hate every second of this. She said that she wants a president

that's like gotten a blow as well blown so his head is clear and he's like ready to go and he's not gonna like nuke rush up, right? But look, can I ask you this? If you're well blown,

your motivation's out the fucking window. Oh, yeah. So, I'm texting VP, say you got it today? Yeah, I mean, I'm going. on. Really? Oh. It's like You don't feel in the morning? No, fully do it. It's honestly the worst. If I come in the

morning, I'm like, all right, we'll see you tomorrow. Wait, really? I'll cancel shows. I mean, you won the day. That was your only reason for being away. It's like if you have a steak and eggs in the morning, you're like, it's such a heavy meal. You're like, we won today. Oh, you already like did your day. The day's over. Okay, well, when I take it back about the president,

I didn't know this. Yeah, I mean, your motivation is zero. I had no idea. I just thought it was just But he'll be less motivated to start war. Okay, but... Yeah, but... What about health care? Yeah, but I mean... What do you feel about the homeless?

It's like, my dick is drained. Yeah. Kill them all. I don't give a shit. You guys, I did not really realize that. Because I'm trying to think when women can wake up, masturbate, come and start their day. But a woman orgasm from what I've heard it is more energizing. Well, that's, I guess so.

No, not for me, because I do it before bed too sometimes. It just knocks my ass right out. I'm saying, we can do it whenever. Yeah, can do it whenever. It'll knock me out. I've never once thought that it would drain me. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's, dude, if you start your day like that, it is, I mean, you're off to a rocky start.

If I came this morning, I wouldn't be here right now. Really? No, I'd be a drive an hour? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, yeah. I can't. You guys don't do morning, you don't know morning sex. I can't.

I don't, I don't, I don't love it. It's nice. It's fun. If I'm on vacation. Okay. But if I have, like, a business day. You gotta get to pee up Chang's. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I got to order the whole goddamn after. I mean, but yeah, if I'm, if I'm coming before the day. day and I have like a busy day. It's not like a yeah. I think morning sex is more like yeah, hell yeah, I'm down for it, but jerking off in the morning is just so crazy. You're waiting for your egos to be done. But you wake up with the heart on and then

you're just like, you're next to a girl. Like Michael, you're next to your girlfriend because Trevor's not in a relationship. Yeah. There's one on the horizon. He wants to do it. Okay. I'm in a cardigan. But like you don't, what if she like tries that sex with you? Will you do it? It really just depends. Sometimes no. But sometimes no, for sure. I don't love

morning sex. Okay. It's not like my favorite thing to do ever. What time of day are you guys shit for? It's not morning morning but give him 11 a.m. It's not morning, but give him 11 am. Pop, pop it out. If you, if you wait 15, if you wait for my coffee, if I have a quad espresso,

don't show me your cheeks because shit's happening. No, mid-morning, that's a good time. Because my fucking morning morning is true. No one speaks of this. Oh. I never hear about 11 a.m. A bunch bone down. That's the title if you guys want to use that. Yeah, yeah, just do it. What do you think about nighttime sex?

Nighttime sex is cool. if my set went well. So if you bomb, you're not fucking? If I bomb, I'm writing my suicide letter. I'm not, I'm not looking for fucking vagina. Yeah, but if you live with your girlfriend and she starts massaging your back, how's this show tonight?

Like, you fucking sucks. She's like, you know how it sucks? You're just going to be, no! Yeah. Really? Dude, when after a set... Like, you have so many rules about times of day. Yeah.

I mean, I just, I'm an emotional boy. Yeah. Like, if I'm... He's like, when you go to somebody's house and they're like, okay, don't touch the dog in the back. might bite you don't bite the ears, but you can scratch under the left arm. But I'm very vocal about exactly what I want.

Okay. It's not like a, it's not like a mystery. Good. Because that sucks. It sucks to be a woman that has to be like, if he doesn't do well tonight, we don't get to. Oh, no, no, no, do it. We, my girl and I've had this conversation a hundred times. Like, I, I mean, I'm going to therapy, obviously, consistently trying to cure that part of me because I don't like. I don't like. I don't think it's that crazy to me when you come home and you feel bad about yourself and you feel like this was art that I made. Yeah, but, but I think the problem is like if it impacts like,

the temperature of the apartment when I come back and sit. So I feel bad because she's like, how was it? And she's all like in a great mood. And I'm like, well, fucking it be de boofa. And then she's, and then you bring the entire.

Yeah. It's, I don't, I don't want to be that person. What would you do? If she looked at you, she goes, well, why don't you just be better at comedy? Oh. Hold on.

I'm trying to give you a hundred hands. I feel like the temperature of the room will go way up. Michael burnt down. She goes, she goes, she goes, and she's standing in front of you naked. You'd have to laugh.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I got naked, someone laughed. No, no, no, she said the line that's like, why don't you be better at comedy? And then strips for you. It's so fucked up.

It would make me laugh out loud. If I came home and I was in a bad mood and my set went poorly and my fiancee was like, maybe you should be better at comedy. I would be like, that is so mean and so funny. But it just, it just, it just. Hit or miss. It's hit or miss. Because you could miss. Yeah.

Because you could miss. You could be like, you need better at comedy. Get out. 100%. And I'd be like, oh, how do you feel about arson? whole apartment on fire. Totally. It turns into a roast battle.

Yeah. You even sold her body. It's over. That wasn't on fire. You're like still? We're still going? We're still going. Your leg is on fire.

Yeah, I think right as you wake up, sex is not. Okay. So you're more of like 11-A. I've never heard of me say that. It's kind of hot because you kind of start your day. You're starting to... I like this post-coffee. I don't.

That's the time of day I don't want to have sex. Really? Really. No, I've already pooped. I just, I feel like I've gotten clothing on at this point. I'm like, my day has started in 11. Oh, I mean not, I mean like on a Saturday morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've had coffee. I've pooped. Sex is timeless on a weekend. Yeah, sex is timeless on a weekend. But weekdays, I, 11 a.m. is a crazy time for me. I do hear you because if I, if I'm like showered and clothed, it's like, I don't want to. Right. If you got jeans on.

11 a.m. is the last time I want to have sex because I'm like, I'm ready to go. That's like peak energy for me is 11 a.m. So can we circle back to this email, but just in general. the whole thing of guys jerking off before dates. Because I've heard of this. Do not do it. Don't do it. You will cancel the date.

Okay. You get the nut out of you and you're like, why would I do this? Oh. You have to time it right. If you jerk off at 4 p.m. And the dates at 8, you're fine. If you jerk off at 7 and your dates at 8, you don't have a date anymore. Okay.

It's so funny how you said this. Oh, where are you? I'm asleep. I have the exact opposite. I will masturbate right before a date because I don't want to like be so horny. I'm like this is going. really well. I don't want to cloud my vision by it. Do women have post-net regret? I don't have post-net regret. It's not like that. I don't think that's a thing.

I don't like go to one. Really? Men do. We come and then we look at the Raya app and we go, oh no, wait, what do you mean post-net regret? I'm, well, you definitely, I mean, I mean, men, men feel shame after they come. Like, when they're jerking on? Like, you know post-net regret is. Oh my God, we're so excited. No, like, we're like, oh my God, that was such a good one. No, like the second steam and exit's my body, I look at the porn website, I go all of you guys go to church, find God and I close the laptop. Oh, I do that. Yeah. But like that feeling and then you're like, God, I need to get back

to work. I need to get back to editing. I need to start getting emails. And then you're like, have a date tonight? You're like, I don't know if I want to. Because with the same reason you don't want to be too horny on the date is the same reason the guys jerk off before a date. They're like, absolutely. And then they get out of them, they're like, I actually don't care to date right now.

It's not even against that person. You're like, I just don't know if I want to be dating. I know exactly what you mean. Okay. I want to say something. Tell me if I'm right. I think guys are jerking off way less than women probably think. Yeah. Maybe once a week. Okay. That's what I'm saying.

If I'm traveling and I'm on tour of the road, we're going once an hour. Like I think there's, and there's could be some guys for sure, and especially guys who may have like more of a porn addiction every day, multiple times a day. But I think women think guys are jerking off all day every day and it doesn't, I mean, they're not. It just really depends on who it is. Isn't it? Is it age dependent also?

Like maybe when you're younger, like maybe by the time you're in your 30s, you're tired. It's that, but it also depends on like your living situation too. Like if you, like if you're living with a girl, you jerk off way less. Yeah. And weird places. Yeah. Because if they're sleeping in the room, you can't jerk off in the room. You're gonna wake her up.

I'm going downstairs behind the vending machine. I don't know. Yeah, you jerk off like into, that's why I used to jerk off into a sink is because. Because when I live with her, she's in the room. That's, that's my sanctuary. That's the jerk dungeon. I mean, I, and now you're in it. Well, jerking off.

And everybody's different again. But, like, my partner would never jerk off, like, when we're together because we're just having sex. Like, his mindset is like... He also feels disrespectful. You're like, what? You don't want to tag me of this? Yeah. It's a separate mindset where it's like, it's two in the morning.

She's been asleep for, like, four hours. And you're like, I'm downstairs. I'm on my laptop. And you're like, oh, that bathroom sink calling my name. It's weird because, like, then you live alone. Obviously, you can jerk up in your room. It does feel different when somebody loves with you. It feels...

And we're like, if that's the... bed you share together and you're just like alone and it's it feels a little I have never not one time I've never jerked off when someone was in the house like like a girlfriend that I was living with was in the house not one never like the shower in the morning

no not one time wow this is a big reveal for Michael Bossy and it feels big one I feel like they're gonna walk in and it's sort of because I like I've said it's in a million times I like a session I like to I like to be naked I like to fucking open my legs like candles turns a ceiling fan on before

You really like candles. No, I don't. Okay. I don't. I actually turn a ceiling fan off. Oh. I don't like wind. I don't either.

Out of the sound. No, I hate it. Takes me out of it. Yeah. I need to, I like to be hot. Same way I'd like to work out. I literally turn my fucking air to like 76 when I work out and put like a sweatsh around. I like to be hot.

Have you ever jerked off in a sauna? I think you'd be into it. No, but I definitely would. I think it gets my blood going along. Yeah. But a shower might be nice. Also the steam and the heat. Yeah, but the shower is a problem.

because it's touching me. I'm serious. I can't. Have you ever done it in a shower without the water? You have to see the shower in this house I just bought. You could put 10 people inside of it.

It's so big. You could turn on the entire thing and be nowhere in the water. That's fun. You need a sauna. I do. Yeah. I need an ice bath too.

Yeah. Jerking off an ice bath. Is there's no way. That's who you become president. Has anybody ever gotten hard in an ice bath? No. I want to go into an ice bath hard and see how long I can sustain.

Yes. I would love to know that. Dick would snap like an icicle. Oh my God. Pops right off. You can finally get a bigger one, put it right back on it. I'm so fucking. I am curious.

Venice bros, they love the ice bath. No, it's crazy. They love it. Journaling. Meditating. But you, I will say, you definitely get a surge, which could turn into horniness after that because you get super energized. Yeah.

That's a good horny. I do see the appeal of it. Yeah. But all these guys out here are just like, they're starting an electric bike company and they're doing nine ice baths a day. I'm like, What are you so far up for? No time for jerking out.

Absolutely. That's great. I'm a big advocate. I literally asked my landlord recently, like, what the weight limit of my balcony is because I want to put it on it. No, they're really. I love them. Yeah.

I love them. You feel so fucking good. I've never tried it before. Really? I'm not against it. It feels like a male trait, but I would definitely try it. Okay. We're just going to take a quick break.

I'm going to tell you guys about aura frames. This is an incredible gift. I feel like, I hope my family members aren't listening that are going. getting these because they are. This really is such an incredible thing. So these are digital photo frames, but they are named the number one digital picture frame by everybody. Wirecutters, strategist, wired, loved by the press, recommended by Fast Company Wall Street Journal Forbes. I mean, what other publication you guys need to know about? So it's really so great. It's so easy to set up. It takes about two minutes to set up a frame using the OR app. And multiple people can be in the

app. So if you want to gift this to somebody and then you want to have numerous users, I mean, like I said, this before on the show where you could give it to a grandparent and then all the grandkids or nieces and nephews could add their photos in and you know a new parent is great I mean this is so great if you have a new baby and just to add pictures over time as they grow up is a really special free and limited storage it's private you have complete control over who has access to the frame that's so funny to think about like um someone hacks crashing the hacking into the frame like when people used to hack like to hack zoom meetings during COVID just like pop up in it you can't be doing that. It's private. It's really, there's fun interactions. You can react with

the photos with like emojis. You can show that you love it. You can send congratulations. And you can do it from anywhere. So you can share photos or videos from any device and they will instantly appear on the frame. This is like so good for any type of relationship that's long distance, whether it's with your partner, your friends. It's just a fun thing from long distance best friends. If your parents live somewhere different, I mean, I just am obsessed with this. I think it's like the most fun and creative product and like what better gift. There's things like smart photocropping and brightening and they just really make it easy. And so you can save on the perfect gift by visitingoraframes.com to get $35 off or is best selling Carver matte frames by using

promo code G-G-G-E. So that is A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code G-G-E. This deal is exclusive to listeners. So get yours now in time for the holidays, terms and conditions apply. Okay. And can you name every subscription that you have because I literally cannot. I sign up for stuff constantly. I think I'm going to like cancel after 30 days. I don't cancel. I never cancel. And I'm sure I'm not alone. There are dozens of just subscriptions out there that don't even know about it. I've just learned that over 74% of people have subscriptions they have forgotten about.

But with Rocket Money, you don't have to remember every subscription or worry about forgetting Annie because you can see them all laid out in front of you by them. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions. Monitor your spending helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. You can see all your subscriptions one place, know exactly where your money's going. and for any of you don't want, they can help cancel them for you with a few taps, which is like such a game changer revise. They'll help you easily create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep your spending on track,

see monthly spending trends in each category and know exactly where your money is going, and you get alerts if your bills increase in price. So some subscription services recently increased their pricing, and we don't like it. So they can help you to know that. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features. Stop wasting money on things you do not use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash gge.

That's rocketmoney.com slash gge. Rocketmoney.com slash g-e. Okay. And I'm going to tell you guys about helix. Okay. So I was gone for 10 days over the holidays, slept on three different helixes. You really gamed the system. I have totally.

I cannot live without not sleeping on helix. So got to my fiance's apartment in Boston. he has the midnight locks, I believe. Got to my parents, moonlight locks, and then came back home, and I'm on my midnight locks. I'm a person who's always been a night owl, and I never want to go to bed. I just want to stay up all night. Yeah. And I just get, I was so excited to go to bed ever since I got me Helix mattresses and just, like, getting such a good night's sleep.

This is an amazing gift. If you want to get somebody something like this, I've gifted it. I've got a mattress for Lindsay and Buck a couple years ago. I mean, what person doesn't want, like, a new amazing mattress? and you just can get on their site and take a little quiz, and they're going to match you with the mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. We all sleep differently. You know, we sleep on our sides, our backs, our stomachs. And we all have different preferences, soft, medium hard mattresses.

So they'll match you with one. There are the standard mattresses. There's the Lux. And then there are the Helix Elite. They have mattresses for big and tall sleepers, mattresses for kids. I mean, we just couldn't love them anymore. Like, they really are so incredible. Great for sleep.

Great for sex. Great for life. Honestly, they'll change your life. So we have an offer for you guys 20% off plus two free pillows for all mattress orders at helixsleep.com slash gge. Again, that is 20% off. And then you're going to get two free pillows. The pillows are incredible too. All of those and all of our beds are helix as well.

And that is helix sleep.com slash gge. All right. Let's get back into it with these boys. I want to get back to this guy. This guy jerked off before and then actually got some. And I was like, I can't get hard because they jerked off earlier. He didn't expect them to have to hook up. So then when they went back to her place,

I think it was harder for him to get it up. Jerk off for the loss of the end. Who wrote this? So we crowdsourced is this weird emails. The girl on the date wrote the email. And she said she went back to her place with him after. And he was like, I'm sorry. I like jerked off before the date.

I wasn't really expecting all of this. How quick was their date? I don't know. If you jerk off at 7 p.m., you get back at 10, that's three hours. You're ready to go? It's enough to reload. That's enough to reload. I don't know if you're going to come, but it's enough to be hard.

Right. To get hard, stay hard. Yeah. But men, and I'm speaking out of my own personal experience, if I get two in my head, I can't get it up? Like, if a girl's like, oh, can you not get it up? Then I'm like, can I knock it? We want to talk with you guys about this. There is an email about that, right?

Let's read the email. And let's just transition in general. So we. Progressive. Here we go. Very 2024 of you. Yep. Shut out.

I'll do it right now. I'm down. We just switch podcasts. Okay. I'm going to read you guys to see it. We love talking about ED on the show. It's always with male comedians. Talking about what?

We talk about ED with a lot of male comedians. Oh, I thought you said EDM. I was like, the music? Talking about raves, John Summit. Let's do it. E.D. erectile dysfunction. I'm how the music to you guys like.

That's John Summit. Oh, my God. Buddy, I've been fucking with jazz, heavy recently. I wake up, coffee table jazz. And they go, yep. Relaxing. Oh, dude. You should feel.

I need silence. Dog, you should feel my apartment in the water. It is. It is beautiful. I have, I have essential oils. I have coffee table jazz. I have a little bit of espresso. My apartment's light as fuck.

And I just look at the goddamn view. and just my dog's next to me. I start to meditate. Fuck. Wow. This sounds nice. Oh, it's so nice. Will you set that up for us?

Dude, my mornings are so nice. I want to see the warnings of the tour bus. Oh, it's going to be a nightmare. We're going to all try and recreate it in our headphones with the air pods, but shut the fuck up. I'm trying to meditate. Yeah, you guys are day, Ted. Like, turn the fucking jazz off.

Oh, my God. Do you meditate too? When I remember. Okay. If I'm too stressed, that's what I'm like, oh, what could I do to fix this? So you guys. That'll be so cute. Same bun.

Dude, so fun. Close off. Okay, so we have some emails for you guys, but yeah, we always just love talking about ED and obviously the difference between like a real condition and then the thing that so many guys deal with, which is just whatever it is. Performance anxiety, getting in your head. The girl's not hot, something like that. Well, we've always heard that a lot of times if it's a girl's too hot, that guys, like the nerves. You're nervous. No.

That's what girls say. No, we. Michael. No, I'm just too hot. That's why he couldn't get. I'm just 11 and he doesn't. That's what I tell myself. I know,

I know. I think the girl's too hard on you. Finish too quick. But okay. No, you talked about this with the last guy we had on to talk about ED. He was like if I'm really nervous.

Like nervous to impress her because he's so hot. I'm just talking around. Guys, I don't know. I'm just curious. Yeah, yeah. Uh,

are you asking if a girl is too hot? Like if you built her up in your head. Like you know, crush a hot girl, whatever you go out with her like is the nerves. You're like, you want to perform so badly. and the nerves get to you.

I don't know. Everybody's different. That's true. I think that definitely, that definitely exists. I don't want to say this to be like, oh, fucking hey, look at me.

I don't, I've literally never, ever had a problem. The only time I've ever had a problem when we were in fucking Amsterdam when the girls are yelling at me, get fucking hard! Like yelling at my dick

was a microphone. It was terrible. But that was the only time that I couldn't get hard. The other times I don't have trouble getting hard, it's like the coming too fast that I'm super working out.

Oh, you come too fast? Yeah. It's like if a girl's like that hot and I haven't, And she's like, it really does it for me, whatever. That's, for me personally. That's when you jerk off before a day. No, I mean, no, that's when I started thinking about horrendous stuff and pinching myself and breathing.

Sometimes I actually, like, really, like, don't think about that that deeply. But, like, when you're, like, when you're, like, blowing a guy and he's like, I'm going to come. If you don't stop, you get on them. Like, it is a lot of kind of mental gymnastics for you guys to not come. Dude, it is so much. Thank you. Now you get men's day. I mean, I mean, it's so hard to be a man.

You know, you guys won't get enough credit. But, yeah, that's probably want to celebrate you coming off a men's day. I don't think about it enough. Sometimes, like, a girl's on top of you, like, riding you should look so good and so hot, and you, like, just, you can't come yet. I'm telling you, we spend 95% of the sexual fucking interaction, not in the moment,

trying not to come. I mean, thinking about shit, holding my breath, pinching my leg, to try to, like, yeah, to try to live up to this, like, fantasy thing of, like, this dude's fucking, like, you're thinking that she's going to go back to her friends, but oh, my. Sometimes you get over that.

With a long-term partner. Then you're good. Then you're good. The initial build off, you're like, there could be turbulence, it's push through. And then you got like 10 minutes to just uninterrupted.

You're like, Anna. But that's usually if I'm comfortable with that person. But something you don't hit that zone, though. Sometimes there's like many interactions where you just don't hit that zone

and then you literally spend the whatever time trying just not to come. Which is probably why that guy jerked off before the date. Like that guy probably jerked up before the date so he wouldn't come so fast. It wasn't so he could like calm his nerves.

I think he was just like, If we fuck tonight, I don't want to come too quick. It's a very, like, early 20s type of advice that your boy would say. Like, do you jerk off your last word? Exactly. It's like American pie tough advice. Sometimes it's like if you do that, then you just can't finish. So you can get it up, but then you're not finishing.

And then she's like, it's in me. I don't know. I mean, women do talk about that. I mean, that's probably the first thing I'm talking about my girlfriend. Straight to your chat. It's probably just like it was either super quick or it lasted too long. Like we, too long is also like too long. What is too long for you?

So I have to tell you, I have. no concept of time during sex and I never have. Like sex could be 10 minutes or 30 minutes. I don't know. In my head, the ideal amount of time for penetrative sex, like you're pounding me 10 minutes, so long. Eight to 10 pounded for 10 minutes straight. But like you're on top, you switch positions. Like six. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Eight minutes sounds good to me. No, eight to, six is fine. I've been wanting to set up a timer to know. Yeah, I have no concept of it. You don't check? See, my TV in the room, it just has to be. I don't. I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I don't it just has like the Google images on it

and it'll be like 9.56. Well we should be like Alexa time. Yeah. Alexa started time right now. You can't say it because then the guys can't go for performance. You just have to clock something mentally. Yeah, you can't say it.

You can't say it. What do you guys? Well, you're married, you can say it. What do you guys think of the ideal amount of time for a second? Like outside of foreplay, like you're penetrated sex. Yes, because foreplay forever. Yeah. Like, fuck around with that for arm it up, you know, like dirty talk,

for play. But like you are hand. You're fucking. Like, I like, I like a good, like 15 to 20. 20 minutes of penetrative sex. Yeah. But I mean, what we're switching position. We're switching position.

Yeah. I'm going down to her. She's going down on me. Then we're like, ain't old. It's like, it's like a whole, it's a whole like smorgas board of stuff. Exactly. That can last for a long time.

Yeah. But like, but like actual just straight fucking in one position. Like, I couldn't. Oh, minutes. Minutes. Minutes. Minutes. I mean, the whole like you start blowing somebody and you go down on them, switch positions.

Yeah. 15, 20 is great. Yeah. But anything longer than that. I'm just like, I don't know. I'm like, done with this. Yeah. But dude, I used to, when I was in college,

you used to, maybe I said this on this podcast before I forget, but I used to like spray, uh, numbing spray on my dick. And then so in college, I mean, I could, I would go for, I mean, I'd be sweating like I just did like, it's P90X. Like I would be. And I, in my little kid head, I was like, oh, I'm fucking killing it. She's going to talk about it, you know, but I would go forever. Right.

So I couldn't feel. When a girl says, I want you to come. Is that her being like wrap it up? Yep. Is that getting the light and stand up? I think for the most part. For the most part, yes. That's so funny, the light.

Yeah. It's my favorite journey talk. I actually just do my light. It's my favorite dirty talk, like, of all. But is that you telling you got to wrap it up, or you're just spitting bars? 50-50. I mean, I do like saying that. That's like my favorite dirty talk.

I think it's like so hot to start talking about somebody like filling you up with and all that. And like, I want you to come so bad. But yeah, that's the finale. Like I'm not starting with come talk. Yeah, it's always, but it's like, we all say it. What I'm doing it, it's like, I've already come. Right.

Yes. It's not like I wish he would stop. Like, I love having sex with my fiance. It's more just like, I'm ready for him to come. Because then you drop the line. They usually do it. That's the, also, yes, it's after I've come. Like, you come, then you fuck me for a while.

Then if we're in Doggy, I'm definitely busting that out. But Doggy really hurts me. Because sometimes I will have already come from whatever else, you know, like mouth stuff, hand stuff. And then we have sex. And so. Foot stuff. And then when we have sex, I'm like, this isn't.

need to be that long. I've already, you know. I got mine. Yeah, but then there's nights, especially when there's drinking involved, yeah, it's all over the place. It's who time has no. Dick in the earhole. Just getting crazy. You've done everything. Yeah. You know, that's fucking recently with counter sex. Yeah. Wasn't ever a big counter guy

because the height problem, but I will say, are you on your tippy toes? No, but I'll be eating cootty on the fucking, on the countertop. I love it. Boy, it is right, like, I get on my knees, it is right. Bobbing for apples. I mean, it is in my goddamn thing. She's sitting on the counter? She's sitting on the counter?

Laying back or sitting up? Sitting up and then leaning back. But she looks so fucking hot on the goddamn countertop. Fuck. It's a fantasy for sure. Because the thing is, like, sandwiches go there, right? And now it's a woman. Yeah.

Capriculo, here's my cock. Exactly. Exactly. Monster cheese, pussy. Rain and I fucked on the same counter. In Denver. It was crazy. Like the same night.

And we realized it later. The same house. We were fucking these skinny roommates, and we didn't... Skinny roommates. What website is this on? Skinny roommates get pounded out by podcasters in the same counter. Are you kidding? Their bones are made of corn flakes.

Watch them try to make them come. The counter-pounder brothers. They need to drink more milk. The step property brothers. Osteoporosis, watch this cock going. What are you talking about? Bone problems? I don't know.

Bone problems. Skinny brothers are crazy stray to them. Like they're just somewhere in Denver existing. They were doing. Did you say Denver? Skinny brothers. I was like they should pay this up. Yeah, we just we fuck these guys at their house, Denver.

You guys said it like you robbed them. Like, yeah, we pulled up with fuck these guys. We got out of there. We also did that. There was any food to steal. So who was on the counter first? I had my period. Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm positive. told you that later. Hey, who spelled Merlo in here? Oh, that's insane, dude. I mean, probably the... Hold on. Did you, did you period on the... No, I don't bleed a lot, like, ever.

So, like, I... I definitely... But when she told me that, and I was like, oh, my God, Ashley, I don't know I tell you this, I was on my period. No, like, I was like, we fucked in the counter, and it was like, I fucked in the counter. And I was like, that when you went inside,

it was an hour before. Oh, yeah. No, walk me through. Where did you meet these people? Through live, through, like, live shows. She met him at a live show, and then he brought his friend. His friend was, like, so tall. He was like, 6, 8, 120.

No, he's like 125. Yeah. And we went back to their house, and we were all hanging out. Was there, like, a fire pit situation? You guys were outside, and his room, my guy's, his room was next to the kitchen, so we just started, like, hooking up fucking in the kitchen, and then we went to his room. And then he and my guy and I, like, went to the kitchen to get more beers or whatever, and then we start making it out and hooking up on the counter.

So it was just like a progression when they had already like retired to their room. Yeah. You know. But you both of you weren't nervous that other person was going to come out while you're fucking on the end. I don't think of everything. Whatever. Yeah. You guys ever seen each other naked?

All the time. Yeah. Have you guys ever seen each other fuck? No. You guys ever kiss? No. We don't like each other like that. Oh, really?

Yeah. Tessa has seen us naked. Me more. But I remember. I just took her whole vagina out this weekend. And Madison, you just dropped her out. I just don't care. Whatever.

We just don't care anymore. We have not. seen her naked and that's important. Yes. I've seen her naked. Are you kidding? That's the boundary. That is the boundary. It's revealed. That's who Michael's dating. But I like that. That's who Trevor is almost dating. Queen. I like that. You guys are very comfortable with each other, but that's we draw the line. Making out with each other. Well, Rain has had more. No. She said more of a history with women. I never have. But I just, I'm never been a, I'm not

like touchy and flirty with my girlfriends. You know, some girls are very like cuddled up and they're on the verge of making out all the time. Yeah, they've just never been like that. Yeah, they're just supposed to photo to the grid making out with their, like, friends. Also, like, girls, like, send their, I can't be able to each other. Yeah. Boyfriend. Yeah.

Yeah. So you've never had a, uh, uh, Les, Les, Les, experience? No. Les. Let's be honest. I'm really. Yeah, it's been a long time. I went on a date with a girl, like, kind of recently.

Did she knows a date? Or you're like, Girl's Night and you're like, let me see her you. I think so. I think she did. She knows now. Yeah, I talk about a podcast. But she sends me a lot of flame emojis and, like, responds to my stories a lot. But, yeah, I mean, I was really into girls when I was younger.

I was really attracted to them. And then I don't want to be like, you know, it's a fan. But I just, I don't see a woman typically and think, like, I would like to date her. I could see myself being attracted to when money to sleep with them. But dating, unfortunately, I'm into that. Yeah, dating women are really hard. Yeah. Both you guys on a countertop?

How does that work? Who's eating who hell? Fuck me. Fuck me. You both have your period? Yeah. Oh, my God. Blood death.

All right. Should we read this email? So we think we covered the ED email for the most part, but we have like two, is this weird submissions from our listeners? We want to run by you guys. Yeah, of course. Okay. Okay. So when I was 60 or 70, I experienced my first sexual relationship with a guy that began over Snapchat.

He was into something that I've not experienced to this day. He wanted me to send him a video of me stuffing my panties into my pussy and then pulling them out slowly. Like a clown? Of course I did it. Great way to kickstart my sexual experiences. Is this weird? Are you reading my diary? Like a clown?

like a big scarf It just keeps coming If he's somebody Send it back to him To just like Do the biggest Granny cannies ever Yeah

Like hide it others It's like wow wow wow It's a snake balloon animal Is it weird? Is that weird? Nothing is weird to Michael Because he's a sexual debient

Which I'm not I've never heard of that And that doesn't It seems very frictioning And it doesn't It kind of It kind of kills me To think about like

Panties in there And how do you get a mount And that's really dry Yeah You threw them up You spit on them first It's crazy Taking panties

and putting them in your pocket, that's hot. Your pocket, your mouth. Oh my God. Taking panties off with your fucking mouth. Yes. That's incredible. Like you were taking them off

with your mouth? Yes, man. Fucking fuck. What if a girl sent you a photo and she was like wearing her panties on her face? I say, you're not bane. Delete this.

100%. What are you doing? I don't, I've never done that just for the record. Yeah, now you sure have done it. It sounds like a house. Put an ugboot on your head.

It's like, oh yeah, that's totally weird. That's so weird, you guys. do that. The second they said this started over Snapchat, I knew this was going to be a weird one.

Yeah, yeah, I don't think it's, if that's what he's into, it's so funny. Like, when I was 16, I wasn't even,

like, I also don't think, I was in chat room. It's different. Like, 60 now is different. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe this guy was just riffing just like trying to, he's like, yeah. Like, what can I get her to do? Put him in, put him in there and take him out.

He's like, what am I'm doing this. Yeah. It's insane. Put a little weird shit. I guarantee there's a subreddit that's probably like panties in the puss. Reddit has a fetish for everyone. If you ever are insecure by your fetish, go to Reddit and type it in.

It's just I can't get over how dry that would be. Yeah. Like you're just getting more and more dry as you pull the panties out. I think if you see you're like getting your panties all like juicy. I don't know. This is the last of the baby fantasies. Do you? I will say that kind of got me.

If you, if you're like a wet and you take your panties off and you're kind of like dipping it like it's like it's avocado. Bajoo? Yeah, like it's like guacamole or something. You're kind of dipping in. And you can see like the little like strand of wetness on the paintings from the pussy. That I'm into. Do you like all? Like all.

Like dirty panties? Like will your girlfriend, like, will you be like, I'll hold on to those? No. Oh, okay. Oh, no, that's where you draw the line. Like a scrapbook of. Not a scrapbook. After what you just described, you're going to shame her for that question.

Oh, why did you, why did you, shame is a crazy work to say? Do you realize yesterday it was men's day? Can you not yell at him? Yeah. I see what you're saying. I love my hook up. And I support all of his finishes. Okay?

I've definitely like, women that like left panties on my place. I'm definitely like smelled them later. Yeah. I've definitely done that. But I'm not like... I think of girls have done that to a guy's boxers, like. Oh, that's really shit. So we talk about this all the time.

Chiquitos. Really early on, one of our like favorite laughs on the podcast, one of our favorite clips was the thought of a man slipping you his underwear at dinner. Like a full pair of boxers, he's like, babe, here you go. Like, you know, the thought of a woman coming out of the bathroom and slipping your panties. You're like, what if a guy? And you're like, I can't fit these in my purse. I'll see.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Always have a weird flannel cover from Walmart. Like, as a guy ever come out of the bathroom on a sexy date night and be like, babe, and slips you as box or briefs. I don't think you want anything from a man. Men don't, I don't know, like men obviously through cologne smell good, but I think just their body is not great. Yeah, I don't want my, like, man's dirty boxers.

I'm going to be honest, dude, if a girl comes down the bathroom and hands me her panties, what are you doing? Really? Oh, my God. I didn't. See that coming from you. My pockets are full. That there's nothing for you?

So what is my new aunties? My new phone case? Little phone? I already carry so much for women. I see what you're saying though. You're just like, okay, like I like the thought of it, but like in reality, like, in reality, like, I'm doing with it now. I'm eating calomari right now. Yeah, and you're about to eat some later.

Fucking put that in your pocket. Put on the goddamn counter. I like it. I'm out. Okay. You can wrap it up the chopsticks like a little rubber band. I did not see that coming for you after you were talking about the whole humus dip. He doesn't like anything that's too like, A.

it's sexy, right? Yeah, thank you so much. I don't like that. It's try hard. It's, yeah. It's very, it's like a performative thing. And there's also, I don't like when someone does something expecting a very specific reaction. Okay.

I fucking hate that. He's like, the reaction's not just like, I want to turn you on. Yeah, but that's the reaction. You want, you're like, here, take my panties. Hot, right? No, it's not hot. Sit the fuck down. You're paying for half of this now.

Like, I don't think this would be true to his current girlfriend because he's very much in love, but if somebody he was like starting to see he walked in in Laundre he'd be like stop this is not it Oh red lace I get it get out Wait really though No no no not that aggressive but like

Oh no no no but like It parts to that true? No for sure I think there's a there's a performative aspect of it that doesn't feel honest to me But what if it was like to me that would be like genuine Like buy lingerie walking room and be like I really want to turn you up a thought into this That doesn't feel performative to me

So and I'm a weird person I think like the situation has to be set up that it feels honest to me. So there was one time this girl picked me up from the airport and she was like she was wearing this like crazy lingerie. But she was wearing like a like a trench cut over it. And then I could kind of see it. And I'm like, what are you?

And she goes, I'm just wearing it. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Like that to me felt so honest. Because he discovered it. Yeah. But the whole like we're sitting here and we're talking on the bed or whatever. And she goes, I need to go powder my nose. And then comes out.

Okay. What do you want? Woo! Like you know what I do want that. Yes. Oh, zoing school. But like, I don't, I don't know. It just feels very like we're 50 and we're trying to save our marriage.

Yeah. Thank you. It just doesn't feel honest to me. I hear that. Yeah. The discovery is better. When I've done lingerie, I've been already in the hotel room.

I have the robe on. And he, like, he comes in and he finds it on him. He finds it himself. To me, would get up out of the bed and go put on laundry. That feels a little annoying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like the thought of like, I'll be right back.

Yeah. That's like, it feels very, like, movie. It doesn't feel realistic. It doesn't feel honest. It's probably like when I was. I thought guys wanted that. Absolutely. I also don't want to shame people for like trying to new things in a relationship

to trying to spice it up. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying like the effort would be really hot to me. But like personally it just has to feel like. You want to believe the bit. Yeah, I want to believe. But women have to know that as they're doing it. Right.

So women should feel like sexy and authentic with what they're doing anyway. If you're like, okay, now I got to go into the bathroom and put this thing on and come out. If you feel awkward, it's going to come across awkward. Right. So like the whole point is like if you. feel like you're performing, then the guy picks up on it too. So that's check yourself on how it's making you feel.

I also think guys are just so dumb and to impress them as like to what we were saying is like, if you discover it, then the guy that's always going to be thinking about. That's why like when you were in like high school and a girl's like thong was sticking out, like you would black out for a day. Like what's under? Like McLevin? Yeah, exactly. But if a girl's like, hey, look at this, you're like,

oh, that's weird. Are you a copply? What's happening? That's a perfect analogy. So the discovery. So Laundra is so but just like, have it poke out a little bit. Right. Overall is it. You guys still want the chase. That's because of you.

It's the chase is also the illusion of control. You blow the load too quick if you just walk out and you're already wearing it. Yeah. Well, also the walking out, which I've done, I still remember like being my early 20s in New York, just like coming on with a guy, stumbling around all drunk. Totally. And I'd be in the other room, they'd like hear me trip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I was, like, trying to get, like, a carvel on. I would, like, fall on the floor. You have the brawl on your legs. You walk in the leg. You walk in the leg. out and you're like, ta-da, you know? Yeah, it feels very movieish, but it does feel early

20s. Yeah, for sure. I used to do that my early 20s. Okay, you guys, this one we love, we want to get your thoughts. We've never heard of this before. So she writes in, she says, I've been with my husband for 10 years, and to this day, every time we have sex and he busts inside of me. I love this, she's still saying bust inside of me, 10 years married. I love it. He cups my pussy after, and we walk like that all the way to the bathroom till I'm over the toilet. So the cum drips in his hands, not mine. Chevalier is and dead and then see photo attached for how I feel during this. No, no, no.

The photo was two elephants walking, like, their trucks attached. Yeah, the elephant walk. Exactly. The elephant walk. Yeah, we did it in the frat days. I mean, it is... Have you guys ever heard of this? The cupping? I've never heard of it. That is real love right there. It's well-intentioned. I mean,

it's not... It's not... It's not efficient. Here's a towel. I just scurry to the... Yeah. We'll bust inside. No, no, right. But... My stay inside until I sit on the toilet. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Once in a blue moon. and a little bit is coming out.

If we've laid there for a minute. Yes. But like, and also sometimes after you push it out as you're walking around, you're like, oh my God, all day.

You know, or she just kind of cup it herself. Like, it's the other leaky faucet all day. It's so annoying. But I think that that's very loving. It is very loving. Where's your face?

It's in my but what are you, you know, like he's, it's very cute, but I don't need, it's very cute. It's very cute. But then he, what he sits her down on the toilet

and removes his hand and lets her do the rest, you know, like the logistics of it. don't see a problem with it. I kind of like it. I mean, listen, we're married for 10 years. So something's working for them. I don't want it. Which is huge. 10 years deep. Come on now. It's intrusive. I don't need you to do that. I'm not like a little baby. I can like walk to the bathroom. If a little come gets on my leg, like it's fine. But I'm fine with it. It might have started. It might have just as a bit. And then they might have just a bit. Like a little like, oh, remember when we used to do this? And it's just a little like, oh, remember when we used to do this? And then it just happens. Yeah. I also like how long is the walk to the bathroom? Like, do they not have an onsuit? You know, like, it's just a onsuit. It's just a few. That is the wealthiest thing you've ever said to me.

What's an onsuit? I don't know. It just means a bathroom in the bedroom. Is that an onsuit? An unsweet? That's what it's just, it's a bathroom. Oh, a bathroom in the bedroom means it onsuit?

Yeah, that's all it means. It's a bathroom. I thought it was just a fucking crazy shit that I'm not, my tax record doesn't allow me to know it. A communal apartment. They've got to run down the halls doing that shit. That's what I'm saying. Right.

Like, where is the bathroom? Do they have roommates? Right. Okay. Okay. One more. I want to do it. I'll do it really quick.

But anyway, to her point, this is, we love this for you. Yeah. It sounds like it works for you. Is this weird? Nothing's weird if it works. It's a very cute thing in the couple that it's like, they do this. I want to know if he tastes it afterwards. Oh. Maybe he's.

She goes, okay, I'm going to finish up in the bathroom. Then he's like, dad, dad's home. You guys, I'm going to throw up. I don't like, it's disgusting. That's where you draw the line. You had period sex on top of where you cook fucking beef stroganoff. That's on my kitchen. Those guys didn't eat.

They weren't cooking in there. Yeah, they didn't eat. Well, yeah, they were too skinny. They didn't eat. They didn't eat. Because you want to know why? Girls got to eat. We all got to eat.

Make sure listen to girls got to eat. No, I have one more for you guys. Listen, I want your opinion on this because it's crazy. Eight inches. I was talking to this guy last year on the holidays and we hadn't met yet, but we had been sexting and FaceTiming. On New Year's Eve, we talked about hanging out,

but I ended up bailing because I'd rather ring in the New Year with my girlfriends. That night he sent me a video. I opened it, expecting it to be him coming on something like usual. On something. See, two, one, I guess their normal videos is just like him coming on stuff. Just him coming on something. It's a tricycle this guy. Let me use his email.

I thought he was going to be a video of him getting whipped in a dungeon somewhere. No, it's worse. Okay. We have so obsessed with the New Year's come shot. Okay. I want to come right at New Year's. Why have I never done that? I don't know.

You could. Everybody's trying to kiss on New Year's like, all right. You just want to come. Yeah, I have this guy confetti all over my wall. It's crazy. On your wall? All over my wall. What the fuck?

Just exploded. She's like, ugh. Yes, it went everywhere. What did you fucking... I'm gonna finish the sentence. Instead, it was of some girl who was riding him, reverse cowgirl out loud in this video. He says, this could have been your wet pussy on my dick.

Wow. Wow. Wow. That is insane. It's really, it's pretty bad. I hope he sent that with the confetti attachment. Happy New Year. Do you guys think it was a voiceover he put on there later?

Did he make a reel? Did he say it in? Oh. Yeah, I made a real. He did it in post. Oh. I mean, he put it on I movie and just fucking edit it. The Capcut logos in the corner.

Yeah, you put it on Capcut. Oh, my God. And just like voice. Face Tune and Camcut. With lots of breakdown. Number one, she dodged a bullet and not meeting up with this guy. Yeah, this guy's a psychopath. That's crazy.

Yeah. In the guy head, this is like where his villain arc starts. He probably thought this was so cool. And she's like, okay. You're banging a three on New Year's. That's bad. Also, to film somebody. Yeah.

Right. Also, you sent me a video of another woman. like, what do you get? I need a time stamp. How do we know that that was from that night? She's like it was Matt Gates, you guys. I need a time stamp. Was this four years ago, three years ago?

And that brings us to who you guys voted for. Right. That's tough. I'm fucking voted for Donald and Dad. No, I actually win Ms. Harris. I mean, I've never voted in my life, so you can ask me whatever you want. God damn it, Michael. I'm going to suck Trevor's dick right now.

Yeah, we're both going to double you, Trevor, actually. That's totally fun. Performative. Okay. I'm sorry, it's performative to vote. What's up? Yeah, it is. If a man votes, that's like the sluggiest thing he can do.

It will one direction. If a man votes Democrat, that's the slightest thing he can do. So I'm not going to say. Is there a bit in this? Like it turns women on? Yes. Yes. I'm so worried about it.

He like goes up to girls like, yeah. It depends on where you live. Do that in Texas. You will get your cock chopped off. That's why we're not living in Texas. I do. But a girl in Texas. Dude, when I did, on election, I did a show in Tampa, Florida.

Oh. You're like, holy shit. And I'm just getting a feel for the audience. who voted blue, who voted red? All the guys were red, all the girls were blue. So for the most part, generally where you go, it's predominantly female or blue. Because we're educated.

Yeah. So you vote for calm, let it get pussy is what you're saying. Absolutely. Okay. No, I... Whatever it takes. No, I...

Of course, you know, we're in Bitland, but... We can just pivot from this. Yeah, sure. No, let's keep talking about it. If you voted red, you're trying to get some head from your boys. Which is fine. It's funny.

None of it matters. It's funny to think of a woman voting red to get, like, dicked out. I mean, that's true. You say this, and I swear to God. Go on my fucking Twitter feed, that's all it is. It's just a bunch of fucking women voting for Trump. You go to Dallas text some girls like, look who I voted for. He's like, you're the oldest fucking woman I've ever seen my life and I've seen my sister.

I can see that. I like football. Right. It's very like, I'm a cool girl. Listen, we're in Bitland. Hand me a Bud Light. None of this really matters. We're all doing jokes.

We're all doing jokes. Both for who you want. Throat for who you want. The rougher you want. I am the smartest man I know. I should run president. I think so too. Me too.

I would take it. I mean, yeah. You could definitely be in the cabinet. They're just letting whoever. Yeah, I could be in the closet for all I know. Oh my goddamn joke. All right, guys. I'm trying to let a breathe a bit.

You got to be quicker. You got to be quicker. Yeah, all right. I love you, I love you, too. Oh, that video is crazy. Crazy. The guy's so insecure.

I think he put it in Capcat and did a voiceover after. No girl would continue to fuck you while you said that. You don't write it in the caption like this could have been you? I actually like when women send me videos of them fucking someone else. Okay.

So hot. Like videos that they previously made with somebody else or like today I did this. No, I mean, it was my girlfriend, not today.

But what if you're looking in the background, it pans up to like an NBA game that was last night. You're like, wait a second. Hey. There's a New York Times. That's game seven of the Dodgers. That is so funny.

There's a timestamp. Okay, you guys, this was so fun. I was looking up your tour schedule. So when this drops the ninth, You'll still have some shows. Beautiful.

So Atlanta, we love, if there are still any tickets left. Atlanta, pull up. It's almost sold out. Are you guys doing the Tavernack? Are you guys doing the Tibernet? Oh, nice. We've just done it a bunch. I'll be great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, gee. We're going to be in Knoxville and the... Charlottesville? Charlottesville. And today, as this drops, Red Bank, New Jersey. Red Bank, new freaking Jersey. Oh, no, the night before you guys are in Bethlehem.

Crazy, that's a real place. It is a real place. Jesus Christ. You have to follow the star. we're we're really it's a fun run what a variety it really is from Albany oh my god New Haven New Haven we had the crazy show of our lives Unbelievable is great incredible

Those people were animals New Havens in an animal animalistic place Not one person in the audience went to Yale They're like fuck that place They hate the Yale people 22 people that went to Yale And you guys I mean you live in L.A and you're always at the improv

And the comedy store And laugh factory And really like if you guys don't know who they are They are the funniest comedians They're podcast together, stiff socks. It's unbelievable. Ashley and I've been on it. We want to have you guys back on.

And you both have specials. People can watch. Correct. Yes. Terradactal on Prime video. Prime video. Michaels is new. YouTube.

Brand new. What's it called again? Silly goose. Silly goose. Both animals. Animal names. Oh, they're both animals. Holy shit.

Well, sort of. Yours is a dinosaur. The dinosaur's animal. No, but they're both birds too. Right. And they're both birds. I look like a bird, so that's fitting. No, Charre, you like your face fell out.

Don't you guys think birds are fake? They're not, but they are. No, birds aren't real. I don't, there's no way. Some of these species on the golf courses, I go, you're a real bird? Yeah, there's no way. Flap, flat. The two perform are.

Michael thinks that they're robots. The birds aren't real. Oh, yeah. Zuckerberg's getting throat about one on time. Some of them are not real, dude. I'm convinced. Yeah. They're all flying.

They're Tesla robots. But some birds have wings and they can't fly. A penguin? Huh? Yeah. Imagine having wings and you can't fly. It's like a dick you can't fuck. And on that note, I'm so long.

It is the micro dick of the wing world. Yeah. It is. And girls are like, you can't do nothing with us. You have wings. You can't do nothing with us. That's why the penguins sit on the eggs. They sit on the eggs as long as the women.

Penguins. Nine months? They get cucked. They have to sit on the eggs. Nine months? No, not the whole time, but they split. They split custody. Trevor doesn't believe you.

This is worse than the cipsox. You can follow Trevor Wallace at Trevor Wallace. Michael at Blau Comedy. Yep. And check them out. Check the tour out. And you guys can find us at Girls Gotta Eat.com.

Tickets to the final five shows of the year. Coming up this weekend, we'll be in New York. Next weekend in Boston, Girls Gotta Eat.com. Ash Hess, reina. com. Subscribe on YouTube.

Definitely watch this one on YouTube and share it with a friend if you need a laugh. And we will see you Thursday. We love you guys. Have a good week. Bye.