Girls Gotta Eat - The Dudes on DMs

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! We brought in the hilarious Lev Fer and Andrew Collin to chat about their latest dating stories, happy endings, girls sliding into their DMs (what to say, what to avoid, what got them laid last week, etc.), and more. We also play another ridiculous round of Psycho or Power Move, and recap our Holiday Spectacular. Enjoy! Follow Andrew Collin on Instagram @AndrewTCollin and Lev Fer @LevFer. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, and check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Hourglass Cosmetics: Get free shipping with the purchase of Caution Mascara at hourglasscosmetics.com/gge + promo code GGE. Fabletics: Get two pairs of leggings for only $24 at fabletics.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Could you text her the next day? We wrote, I just wrote because I got her a car that happened to be a Lyft share. Happened to be, he says. I go, I'm sorry. Because I saw she was in the car for a good four days. She was in there a while. Back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat. Welcome back.

Merry Christmas Eve. You're listening. Rain is waking up. I'm tired, man. It's 549. I've had a week. She just almost started to stand up and record. She's like, you're going to do this?

You're doing that? Just weird for me. You're really doing it. I think we usually have a lot of housekeeping. We kind of don't. I think all of our shows are sold out. Right? Right.

D.C., Boston, L.A. I don't know. Check the internet. Stay tuned. I'm pretty sure they're all sold out. Yes. We have more announcing soon. Stay tuned.

Okay. Also, we got so many DMs about the way I said Saskatchewan. How else would you pronounce it? I think I say Saskatchewan, like, won. I say Saskatchewan. Okay. And I think it's maybe, like, I think they just do a softer end, like Saskatchewan or Saskatchewan.

Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan. Is that it? I don't fucking know. But we're going to get a lot of DMs. Like that's that we're going with? Saskatchewan.

And who knew that we had such a following in Moose job? I was like, that's our next city, I guess. It's crap. I mean, apparently we have to go there. Didn't hear from my boyfriend, though. Of all the people that texted us from Saskatchewan. Well, he made it onto the podcast. He doesn't need you anymore.

He climbed his way to the top and now he's out. I just also, Canadians, as suspected, are so polite. I swear, like, Americans, you mispronounce the name of their city. They're, like, so rude about it. Like, everyone's, like, we think was so funny and cute. They're like, we love the way you mispronounce the name of our city or province. It's probably Saskatchewan. I think you're like, so much.

right. Okay, so we had live shows this week in New York. Yes. They were a lot of fun. We had our holiday spectaculars night one and night two at the Gramercy Theater. They were spectacular. Spectacular. I thought that both nights were really, really exciting. We had amazing partners for the show. Yes. So really like so many people led to this being great. Right. Let's thank some people and then we'll talk about a few things that happened at the show. And then we have some exciting guests. You guys already know who they are. They were at the show. They're going to come in and chat with us here in a few.

But I think we're going to switch off with some thank yous. I mean, first of all, the performers. We had these four guys, Darnel, Kenneth, Nick, and Grasshopper were our dancers. They opened with the Mean Girls dance. And then we came out singing to the dance. What a bright side. There is a video of you. You tip the mic back and do a high note into the mic.

Have you seen this? No. Was it good? Yes. You were like, I'm not going to get into it. And then you sang. So this was, yeah, this was like a vision we had for the show and to come in through the back and like come through the crowd like right when Lindsay Lohan starts to sing.

And in the movie when like the track starts skipping, you guys know the scene. So the guys nailed the dance. It was insane. Midway through the night, we had a really fun comedy musical act. They're called the Reformed Hors. They are so funny. They do these kind of folk. songs. There's two of them. They have insane voices. They both play guitar and the ukulele.

Yeah. And the lyrics are the clever, funniest, most genius thing ever. And then wrap the show with a drag queen performance to all I want for Christmas. It was fantastic. I'm Izzy Uncut is her Instagram name online. Yes. Izzy Uncut. And she's been on our stories and stuff like that too. and we had Lev and Andrew and Broken Dick Ross, Nikki Glazer came out. We had the world famous Matt Hustleton. I think that's all it for performers. Yeah, but to get ready for the show, like, I feel like I took it.

What does it, it takes the village? I really, we had a village. And honestly, I feel that I do better at the show is just when I physically feel like I know, like I know I look better. Yeah. You know, like, I feel like, I'm funnier because I don't think about my outfit. Yeah.

So, like, we got these amazing outfits from Rent the Runway. We changed outfits midway three. We came out in red and green, and then we came out and switched. Raina wore gold and I wore red. And that red dress, I'm considering buying it because it's like you can buy it. You know, I'm like, I still have it. I'm looking at it right now. It's like, I feel like it's mine now. Yeah, it was made for your body. It's beautiful. So I thought we looked beautiful. And then we had, I really think it's a really cool service. It's called Priv, P-R-I-V. You can select it's an app. It's a like a at home glam type of app. So they'll do hair, they'll do makeup. They'll do eyelash extensions, manicures. They'll

send a person and you can book who the person is by looking at reviews. So each night we four people come and do hair and makeup for us. That's so cool. Yeah. So guys go to Priv. Yeah, it's really so awesome. You can see people's portfolios. Like if you know what kind of hair and makeup you like, you can find a stylist and look at their portfolio and they come to your house and all the prices they're listed. I think tips included for the prices, which is nice. So you don't have to like scramble for cash when they show up. And you guys can use the code, Girls Gotta Eat for I think $10 off a service. Yes. They're in most major cities, which I learned. Yeah. So we're hoping to use them again for our other shows. But they were so awesome.

There's nothing that makes you feel more glam than when you have like someone on your face and someone on your hair, you know? I felt so beautiful. And I just like, I knew what I didn't have to think about how I looked at night. So everything, like we could be present. You know as a girl, you just want like know that you look nice. And I just, I felt like run the runway and pray have like really helped us to do that. So that was really cool. Yes. Oh my gosh. And then we finally to wrap up all of our thank yous. We had amazing gift bags as well. So we have so many people. able to thank who really like amazing snacks, amazing products. Living Proof, who's one of our sponsors? Great hair. The dry shampoo was in the gift bags. Also really quick, we had some leftovers.

I'm ransacking them pulling the Living Proof dry shampoo out of the gift bags. Raina was like, you look like a wild animal. I have like 10 of the dry shampoos from the leftover gift bags. We also included snacks. We had baked by Melissa. And they have the cutest little mini cupcases. It's also like such a good, like, holiday gift to give people. We had Max Brenner chocolates, which was amazing. These little like crunchy ball things. I tasted them all. Just to make sure they're safe.

And then finally, we had a macaron company, which were these gorgeous, like really pretty macarons. It's a company that is based in Dallas and Fort Worth, but they'll ship nationwide. It's called Saver Patisserie. Can we say what they did for us? They really went above and beyond. Not only did they hand deliver all of these gorgeous. What is the macaron?

I say macaroon, but that's the coconut thing. This is a macaron. It's a French macaron. It's a Jewish macaron. Macarone. So they're like the little thing, little sandwiches, cookie sandwiches. Sort of.

I don't know what they are. They're delicious. Whatever. And they're gorgeous. So anyways, they went about and beyond. They delivered them to the theater and they custom made. They made one with Brana's face,

my face, a dick, a beanie, a beanie, Dewey. Is that it? Yes, it was amazing. Like, hashtag Deu Hess, which is my dog. Like, Dewey's face is on this macarone. Macamaran. Macameroon.

Once French and one's true. I'm never going to get rid of it. I think it'll keep. Dewey's face is on this dessert. What like a cool custom thing to say? Oh my gosh. Also like I just prefer something that makes me laugh and that's so awesome. When they hand it to me, I mean, that was, I'd start crying.

I thought Ashley was really going to like. It was before I got my makeup done so it was fine. But Raina was like, look at this macaron and it was Dewey's face. What is it? Sabre. Right. Sabre. Savor. Yeah.

And they're great. And they came to the show, which was really cool. An Oza Tar. Our favorite restaurant where we're going. As soon as we get through this, we wrap this up. My favorite restaurant in New York also donated gift cards, which is really, really cool. So thank you to all of our sponsors. You should check them all out.

They're in our Instagram posts as well, so you can check them out there. Yeah. It was great. I mean, I don't know what to say. I feel like we did a pretty good job with the highlight reels on our Instagram stories. What was your favorite part of the show? Oh, my gosh. I mean, the shows were incredible.

the mean girls dance at the beginning. That is like a vision that I had that came to life. And like to see it happen and like the same with the drag queen. Like I can't. It was just so, so incredible. But I mean, having my brother on stage. I mean, like, you know, of course you and I and all of our guests and everybody's become like family.

But like to be able to bring my brother on stage and I just think he's the funniest person. And like he really made the crowd laugh. Like he was very nervous. And it's like this six, seven dude. He's so giant. And he comes on stage. And like he really had, he was funny. I'm really impressed that he did it because it's really nerve-wracking.

Like he's never, he doesn't, he didn't even know how to hold a mic. Like you don't, you know what I mean? Like he's was like, he's never been on a stage before. Now it's like a theater. Right. A 500 people. Yeah. So that was really special for me.

And you want to go? I'll tell you my least favorite part. I don't know. I mean, I think that we haven't done that many live shows and I haven't done that much. So I was just proud of myself for like holding it together and managing to be funny. I was really proud. I was really, I was proud of myself. I love just like seeing my parents there in the audience.

I know, your parents came again. And so we and Nikki Glazer on the second show. And she was sitting behind us in like backstage. And I could hear her laughing at our jokes while we were talking. And I don't know. She's somebody that like Ashley really loves as a comedian and I think is so great. And it was just, it was cool to have somebody like that at our show laughing at our jokes because I just like really look up to her. I think she's awesome.

So that was really cool for me. Yeah. But anyways. Yeah. at least you're part of the show is we didn't know that our show had started on Monday. You guys, it was my worst nightmare realized of all time. Like, always in my life, like, especially doing stand-up or whatever it is, my biggest fear is I'll be on the toilet and they, like, say my name.

And it's like, you know, I'm wiping and I can't get to on stage. And that is exactly what happened. There was a little bit of miscommunication with the cues, with the music. I don't, whatever. But night one, I was on the toilet. I'm just going to say it. I took a nervous shit before it started. I did too, like 15 minutes before that.

Wiping my ass, and I hear Jingle Bell Rock playing. And I was like, okay, your mind is working so fast. I'm like, okay, it's not a sound check. Like, it's 8 o'clock. You know, it's start time. And I'm like, Raina wouldn't do this to me. Like, why would she do this to me? And so I run out of the bathroom, barely wiped.

Like, I just ran out. I see Raina in the green room just chatting. She didn't know what was going on. Sitting on a table. Just chilling. Just chilling. We were like, you know, whatever. Usually start time is eight.

We're really timely. but it's usually we'll start at like 8-10. You know what I mean? And like we were not prepared. I go, Rana, the show was starting. And we entered from the other end of this theater. Like that's the whole thing. We came in from the back.

So we're really close to the main stage entrance. We had to run through the theater running. I am running up two flights of stairs in high heels and a gown. And I look behind me like and I outstretched my hand. I'm like, Rana, hurry. Ashley, like a gazelle booked it up. he says body checked like five fans out of the way more or more. We're holding mics.

I'm not even sure that they're on. Right. We had the mics. Thank God we had taken the mics with us. I'm so out of breath for my first musical number of all time ever in front of 500 people. I opened the door. I just start singing.

I don't know what we are shaking. But before that, like honestly, I'm not kidding when I say that I pushed fans out of the way. One girl put in her Instagram story. She was like, I started the show tonight with getting like body checked by Ashley. We're like pushing fans out of the way, bust open the doors, out of breath, start singing. What?

a bright time, like, didn't know the mics were on. I'm, like, apologizing, like, sorry. And we did it. And then I sat up on stage and sweat for an hour. I was, like, my upper lip is sweating. I couldn't even tell, though. I thought it was glowing. And the second night, we wrote the funniest jokes about it ever.

So, all as well that ended up. Oh, my gosh. I mean, but there is no greater fear than, like, you're on the toilet. And they're like, now, next on the stage. Like, to hear Jingle Rock start playing was horrifying. It was really. I just, I can't think about this because I've had a nightmare about it. Like, had I not been in the bathroom right under the stage, if we were both in the green room,

we wouldn't have heard it at all. And so the show just woulda. I was she's chilling. The dancers just would have just stood there, but imposed for how, who knows how long? We just don't show. What a power moves? You just not show up at your own show ever. But it worked out and we were able to make jokes about it.

But yeah, I mean, I was hot. We ran up two flights and stairs. How were you not sweating? You don't even work out. I don't really sweat. That's true. I was so out of breath, though. It was really hard to get through the song.

It's like the second time I've exercised this year. The next night, you really belted it out. You had to make up for a lost time. Oh, yeah, I really killed it the next night. Everything I did the next night was great. Everything the first night was really great. You had a date the next night. Yeah, he brought another date.

You guys, the guy Raina met on the plane to Mexico City came to the show. I invited him to the show. And he's like, I'm going to bring a single friend of mine. For me. for Ashley. So I'm like, I'm like, this guy isn't showing up. There's just no way. I'm going to go to sit in my show. And it'll be funny. Anyways, at like six o'clock, we're getting our makeup done. And he texts me, he can't come, but I'm going to bring a girlfriend. I was like, oh, you bring a date to my show. I mean, okay. Yeah. So we roasted him pretty hard from the stage about it. He was a good

sport. Yeah, he was a good sport. And yeah, I mean, that's kind of mainly it. I want to do a couple more. Thank you. Everybody that attended. insanely amazing crowd. Crowds were usual. You guys were so crazy. Okay, front row, first night, bathtub girl. With, is this weird t-shirt? All her, her whole front.

They made custom t-shirts that said, is this weird? Also, first night, a girl, we did a crowd, is this weird? And this girl starts describing this dick pick that honestly, to describe it didn't sound that weird. And I was like, do you have it on your phone? Bring it on stage.

She brings this dick pick on stage. Most insane dick pick I've ever seen. It was a flaccid penis on a bathroom counter. But through pants. He's fully clothed, business casual. Like his flaccid dick is coming out of his khakis laying on the bathroom counter. I'm still shook by it. And this girl, this champ brought it up and let us look at unsate.

There's pictures of me. I can't even, I'm holding on to her like I'm hunched over dying of laughter. The pictures of my face looking at this penis through the pants hole is so funny. We'll post some. These are very funny. Let's go back. We'll do a little story. There's like a progression of photos.

Oh, photo photographer. Thank you to Mike Lavin. Oh yeah, who captured all of it. Oh my gosh. Hundreds of photos. Both nights, you guys. Oh my gosh. The photos are like we cried when we first got them. Mike Lavin on Instagram, we've tagged him a million times. We don't tell you guys, but he is the homeless pimp on Instagram. He is incredible. But the crowd was so great. You guys are also beautiful. People wearing the beanies. It was a dream. So please come out to all of other live shows. It's a ton of fun. I have a blast. I think that there's nobody has a better audience than we do. I mean, but seriously. But, but seriously. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but. But. But. But. I want to tag a couple people in to talk about the rest of the show. I love this tagging in. Tag team. Like a sports star.

We're about to have an orgy on this podcast. All right. So to finish telling you guys about the live show, we're going to tag in two people that were there. You guys, someone canceled. So that's why they're here. We had a whole other episode. Who canceled?

Another dog walker? First time we've ever been canceled on. So they're dead to us. And then I like subbed in actually somebody, pretty famous, but we didn't want him at Ashley's apartment. Yeah. We were embarrassed. So we invited you guys.

My apartment's great. But, you know, yeah, we can't have a stranger here. Right. That's what that's the thing. We've all met seven times, so we all know each other. Yeah. We're family. Do we're here.

We're excited you guys are here for our Christmas episode. Who's awake? That sounds like what your brain says at 4th of the morning when you can't tell if you're sleeping or not. Who's up? Andrew's up. You guys wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Never.

I sleep straight through the bed, like I don't know why I'm laughing so hard. I sleep like a solid nine hours every night. Alcoholics get the best sleep. No, actually, when I drink, I don't sleep through the night. Yeah. If I drink, I'm up at like 5 a.m. And I don't go back to bed. I sleep through the night.

Sometimes I wake up if I've, like, drooled too much. Yeah, me too. Like, I wake up and I'm like, yeah, sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to a jacuzzi. You like waterboard yourself? The way I see it, if I'm not drooling, I'm not drooling, I'm not, sleeping. Thank you, love. Yeah. I only drew what I'm like sleeping on a plane, like where you shouldn't drool. Open mouth. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Maybe something about the high altitude just

makes me salivate like a full mass of. Are you a mouth breather? I don't know a mouth breather. I don't try to focus on my breath. I don't like meditating because I don't like thinking about breathing. Yeah. I have too much. You ever do meditation and get more anxiety? Yeah. Just starting to do it gives me anxiety. Like knowing that I need, you know what else gives me anxiety? is a massage. Really? I know I need to relax. And I just spend the whole time thinking about how I need to relax.

And you try to get fingered at the end. I like almost had a happy ending the other day. It was so nice. You didn't even tell me about this. I know. I was thinking about you. Do you guys go to places? Do you go to like rub and tough?

I mean, he did everything besides penetrate me. It was crazy. Yeah. He figured you? Does he touch the lips? Besides penetrate. So he touched the lips. Did he really?

What? What? Wait, go ahead. Whoa. This is exciting. What happened? Best massage I ever had in my life. In Mexico City?

Yep. He touched the lips? Yep. Like he was like by, he grazed him on accident. Or did the longest part of massage. Him like going like this to me. You were like,

he was hot. It was amazing. Get the fuck out of here. Did you say anything? No. Maybe that's why you got sick. Kind of like open up my lips a little bit. You like knew that I enjoyed it.

my mouth lips I was like How do you? Are you a mouth breather? I'm a lip breather. She was drooling all right. Wait, hold on. Back up.

You opened up your mouth lips or your vagina lips. My mouth lips. Just so you know there's some visual of like that I'm enjoying this. Oh, you're on your back. Yeah. This guy basically just fingered you during a massage. That is unbelievable. It was incredible.

I'm so lucky. I went back to the room just like refreshed. I'm so happy. I got a massage from this hot guy in a press trip. So it was like it would have been a little weird. And he was so hot. They set me up with him. I was like,

this has to be a joke. I mean, I was just so turned on the whole time. Yeah. Like to have a, somebody's fine, so attractive rubbing all over your body. Right.

But in the United States, they can't touch you like that. Other places, they'll, they'll touch you everywhere. You kind of need to know. I mean, don't get me wrong.

It's just, like, massage envy. I had, like, a whole lawsuit. It's so disgusting. Nothing's like, what happened? What happened to them?

People were, like, assaulting women in there, and within massage Mbe. But, like, yeah. I mean, I feel like you can tell if that's what you're there for, right? Do you guys go to places like that? I've been before. I went one time to this place and she was a big lady, like tall, like Asian.

And it was my first time I ever went to one of them. My friends were talking about how great they were. Yeah. And I went in and it was a real old lady like with wooden teeth. Like she looked really old, you know? And she brings out this huge woman. And I was all nervous because her hands were huge and I didn't want to get a hand job from giant hands.

Yeah. You don't want to put a Jewish dick in a giant hand. Yeah, no, it's a rule. Oh, wow. Yeah. But you don't like when that much surface area is covered by one hand? Yeah, I like a little hand with a jerk.

Like a child. Yeah. No, what, wait, what? You caught me again. So, so. Boom, roasted. Police just kicked the door, yeah.

So we go in there and I was like, hey. So she was like getting done with the massage, and I gave her, like, a jerk off motion. Like, I was playing rock paper scissors. Yeah. Yeah. like this and she goes and gets the old lady to come into the room and then the old lady goes

what do you want and I was like I just want and I did it again and she made me sign a waiver you had to stop with a hard on and sign some paperwork yeah I stopped sign paperwork read it very thoroughly and then and then yeah so then she uh like a release form I feel like I'd be too nervous to get hard in that kind of environment yes yeah it was a release it was an NBA you know I thought was really strong I hate it when I say a joke and just nobody laughs I had that was funny A release form

Okay mom I get it Jesus you had a good one So did they do it? So the old lady grabs the big hand lady And they both start masturbating me at the same time Is this for real? Yeah How did it your penis is big enough to hold two hands?

No he's got two dicks Yeah I have two dicks I got a happy ending dick And the one that I'll meet my wife with Happy end The tragic ending How many dicks do you have left? Just one.

Really? Yeah. No, no, no. So then the old lady leaves and she, and she goes, the tall lady goes to get collusion and I came without any hands. And so when she turned around,

I just can't, no hand come. And then she points to my chest and she just goes, power like that. Like, because my, what does you come for him? The symbol of power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, I don't understand the power thing.

Because it might come shot so far. Oh my gosh. Into his eyes. So that was like the only one I ever went to, but. Wait, so. That year. I feel like this is your move. You're always coming when you're not supposed to.

That's so true. Like your orgy story. Yeah, I came along in the bathroom. Yeah. And then I'm trying to think, yeah, I've come a lot. Maybe how did you come with the no contact? Huh? How did you come?

From mental synergy? She was just like getting right to the point. Like, right to the point. Yeah. Like, oh, you need more loads. It was probably one of her first times. She left the room to get the lotion. They both left the room and you spontaneously erupted.

Pretty much. I think that's what it was said on the news. Man, spontaneously erupts. Four people killed. So when she gestured at your chest. Power mover, psycho. Power. Power. That's what she was saying.

Power. Power. She said it very, like, Asian. Like, she didn't know a lot of English. Like, that was like the only word. I keep thinking of Kanye. Power. It was like, it was.

He would actually be really good at saying it. So anyways, yeah, that was fun. But yeah, it feels way dirtier when a guy tells it than when you were talking about getting your pussy with her up. I think you to say what a guy jerks you. Why is that? Raydon, let me ask you this. Do you feel like you were giving any vibes?

No. Because don't get me wrong. That's disgusting a man that would like, like what happened to massage on me. But like, aren't there situations where, like, do you feel like you were putting it out there? I feel like I've had a lot of massages in other countries. Like, it just never happened here. Like in Thailand, like you can get a massage every day, like an hour-long massage at a resort for like, I don't know, $15 and your butt naked and they touch all kinds of things. Like they touch your nipples.

They touch everything. Yeah. What other kinds of things? Do they touch your lips there too? No, for real. Your butt cheeks a lot. Yeah. They'll like graze into like the taint area.

I don't know. Every place is different. I'm not like the expert. There's something about being a different country where it's just acceptable. It's like, oh, they're a different country. So, you know, I got blown underwater. But it's just to me, it's like, it's not creepy if you're hot. Like, I remember getting massage ones that was like, I was upset.

I felt like he was touching my butt too much, you know. When I was on my back, I was covered, but when I turned over, like, I was not. What did that guy look like, the guy you weren't happy about? Was he hot? No. No. No, I got a massage one time. And nothing crossed the line, but I just felt like I just felt uncomfortable.

It was just too much. But when I got this one in, I think it was Cancuner, Puerto Rico. I think it was San Juan. I was like, when they... I don't know if it was Puerto Rico, Cancun, San Juan.

Like, when he greeted me, I was like, oh my God, and Carrie booked it. This PR girl we know and I was like, God,

plus Carrie. Like, she was like, we did that for you? And I was like, did you tell him to jerk me off? How tan was he?

He's probably so tan. I have a picture. Afterwards, I was like, I got to show you to my friend. Like a fish? Like you caught a fish. Like,

there's a man that kind of graved my vagina. I have to show my friends this. I was like, can we get a picture of you in front of the spa sign? Yeah. Carlos. Yeah, I didn't get a picture. I didn't get a picture with power. I decided not to.

I decided to erase that from my memory. Is that the trip where you fucked the guy? No. I was going to see you're like so horrid up from this besides because you had fuck that guy. Yeah. That was the only last year in QS. I feel like with Raina, the guy was probably like, okay, you know what? She's probably like this like powerful fucking, you know, American woman wants to come here,

get fingered on a white bed. Five-star hotels. was the nicest spot of everything in my life. Yeah. It was sick. It was amazing. Anyways, we were trying to figure out what kind of topics to do with you guys. Would you, how far would you have let it go? Oh, we're still gone. Would you have let him go down on you? I thought about it for a second. Damn, bro. Dental damn. And I was like, if he gets on the table right now, like, will I stop it? Would you have, like, pushed his head down? I don't know. I had to, like, go sit into the steam room for, like, a good 30 minutes after this to think about what a

happened to me. Well, that's, I mean, honestly, like, if you get, if you get super turned on during a massage, like, you might, like, puddle a little on the table. I've never gotten a massage before. Huh? I've never gotten a massage before. Well, hop on the bed. Yeah, well, yeah, I got you.

Raynor just puts a ball gag on me. But, yeah, why have you done a massage? Why have you done a massage? Why have you done? Ever? I just never, like, been like, you know what? I'm just, I have three free hours and 60 bucks. It's a lot of money.

Like the one I got in hotels now. Like I tried to book one in D.C. recently. I was at the Watergate Hotel's $250 for a one-hour massage. Like it's crazy. But there are, I think there's a place around here that I have some friends that go to that it's like 50, 60 bucks, like really good.

I would do that. Yeah. No frills, you know. I feel like no 22-year-olds are going to get massages. I agree. That is like, I think it's something I have to grow into. Yeah. And let's tell everybody you were 22 now.

Yeah. Last time you're on the show, you're 21. I know. I was thinking about this today. The last time I did the show, you guys asked me about my life, and I opened by saying, I just started 69ing, and I really want to be in love, and I'm lonely. And I was thinking about today walking over, I was like, nothing has changed. Nothing changed.

But you 69, three times in that week. Yeah. How's this? Only once this week. But I 69. Frequently. Did you 69? Yeah.

Hell of the night. After our show. We succeeded on the same night. 69 boys. Woo! You know. I let's song go. Tutsi Ro.

Dude. Dude. Yeah. This girl was... Cotton candy sweet as gold. Me and left of 69. I had an amazing sexual experience. I've never been so horned up.

I was ready to go. And I went down on her right away. Yeah, me too. And I did the 69. Did the old sex. Dude, we were... The missionary. You did the bitch?

Yeah, did the miss. Yeah, you missed it. Yeah. I did everything. I did everything. the fuck. We didn't fuck. Yeah, it must be nice to get laid after our show. Yeah, Ashley and I didn't get fucked after our show. We put so much work into it.

We're so happy with it and just... Cost of change. You all were bisexual. You'd be having a field day, though? Oh, it's crazy. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, so we don't need to really recap the show anymore, but you guys both got laid. Yeah. And both from DM slides that night?

I got laid both nights, different people. Oh, my, Jesus, God. Monday and Tuesday. I could have got laid the first night, but I got tired. I'm an old man, you know? Well, and should we put this out there? Let's just do it while we're here. Oh, after a Rub and Doug story.

You know what? Andrew has a misconnection. This guy gets joked off by large Asian women for 37. I was young. I was 23. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Andrew Power Puddle Boy, Colin. Yeah, Power Boy.

So who's this girl? You fell in love with the audience Monday. I can't believe that I'm here to be able to say, but I fell in love. I looked down. There was a girl. with brown hair, blue eyes. I love that love. Dark black.

It was actually black hair. It was dark. Oh my gosh. She looked Jewish. And then she was with two friends. And they were like doing at her like she like kind of like I know. She likes you. Yeah.

And then it was like consistent throughout the show every time I was up. Every time I would like look down it was like we caught you know, I caught eyes. And I was like oh my gosh. She's going to DM me hopefully. You know, I feel I felt this weird connection, like a weird energy. And I was into it and I want to take her out. and I want to marry her with my second dick. Yeah.

Yeah. My good dick. Yeah. Why do you guys gets married because it is podcast before us? Oh my God. I'd be so pissed. That would make perfect sense though, wouldn't it? That you guys got married for us?

We do this for you guys. We do this for you. Yeah. Well, I just want to marry her. So anyway. Yeah. And honestly, like, she has been on your mind. Like you were fucking that other chick and still texting me about the

misconnection. Yeah. Well, I'm a multitasker. She was a little upset about that. She's like, who are you texting? You're inside of me right now. We're doing the Mish. He was writing bits while he was going down on this other girl, too.

He told us. Well, you know, I have no words. I look, I want to, I promise the misconnection. I will not text. I will not write bits. I will eat your fucking butt. I want to, Andrew. You're a bad.

I promise. You're a great guy. No, but I promise I will only pay attention to eating her ass, just her ass, and I will tie my hands up. And I will, that's pretty much it. All right. So if you're out. If you're out there, almost like dark, okay, like black hair, that's pretty distinguishing, like dark hair, blue eyes, third row.

She knows who she is. First show. First show, Monday night show. Would you recognize her easily in a photo? Yeah, good call. I would. I would. Yeah, because some girls were DMing.

I haven't checked in like an hour, but someone did DM and they were like, I don't think it's me, but I'm still interested. Ooh. Well, look at those two. Yeah, a couple girls wrote me in there. It was me. And I was like, really? And they're like, no, I wasn't even there.

I was drunk in D.C. Are we thinking about what the topic was going to be for you guys today? We're like, we can't like ask them relationship questions because... Why the hell not? Yeah, we're... Just because we're broken men. I dated one girl on college.

15 years ago. So we're going to talk about sex stuff instead. And I want to start with, okay, so in order to get your attention, like, what's a good thing for girls to slide into the DMs? Can something cut through the clutter of all the DMs? Um, there was one that worked. pretty well the other day, which was just a five in the morning. I want you to come over to my place right now and slowly pull my panties down while I suck your

dick. And it ended up happening. So it's just for you. Oh my God. Be careful what you put out there, you know? So for you, it's just like sexual stuff. It's like the sexual stuff. I mean, it depends on what the girl, the girl wants to fuck or she wants to date one of us.

Well, let's talk about both. Oh, yeah. And are you going to date the girl who slides in with that Phil panty polo down? Yeah. You sent me the same thing three days ago. What did I say? That same text. She's like, that filth, that disgusting film.

Rita's like, God, it's just, it sucks going to bed without anybody coming on you. I don't know. I'm kind of turned on by that DM, to be honest. I think that's really hot. Yeah, I just can't imagine. I mean, I guess it's, I keep remembering that like these girls feel like they know you from watching your Instagram and stuff like that. So it's not, like, you're not a stranger.

Like, we vouch for you. You know, it's not a scary, rapy situation. Right. I just, I can't imagine just a stranger, someone that I've never met in person, just being like, let's fuck. Yeah, well, it also just depends on, like, what the person looks like, too.

Like, that's kind of the shitty truth of it. Like, if it's somebody who's really fucking sexy and they can send you anything, and you're going to be more likely to reply and be inclined to it. You know what I mean? If you're not, if your average girl, it's not like a super model.

Oh, no chance at all. Okay. Well, they're chance. Don't have to come over to my, you wouldn't they go to worse. In the neck of the woods I don't feel like I fulfill like this old

Like professor Like fantasy for your fans Like what would it be like to fuck my fucking chemistry teacher from high school Who isn't like that smart Like doesn't even know what a beaker is But like you know The girl wrote the other night that I liked

I'll give you great content for your podcast Yeah And I got you And it was like There was something about her knowing That most likely I will talk about this So they talk about my life. What do you think she was on which podcast?

Nick, on you up? Or like on your. Either my podcast. Happily never after. Yeah. Either happy never after or. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I guarantee. Like isn't that a divorce podcast? Yeah. Well, pretty much. Like when we hooked up right after she goes, don't get attached to me. Right.

Which was even hotter. Right. That's the new move. That's a power move. Every single time I hug up with a guy, I'm just going to look at him. I'm just going to look at him. I'm like, don't get attached to this. But I feel like a guy would be like, don't worry.

I'm not. Yeah. Backfire. That's kind of what happened. I'm too old to use that line. People are like, bitch, you're 30. Like, I would say that

and a guy would be like, you're a seven. So, like, I'm not planning on it. Can you imagine? Like, the guy's not interested to do it all. You're like,

don't get too attached. Don't fall in love, kid. And he's like, what? I'm on Tinder now. I came in two minutes and my shoes are on.

You think I'm gonna get a dash? Like, I'm out of here, dude. I have to call my Uber. I'm about to just drink the last fucking high seat in your fridge and bounce. I would never say that. I couldn't do it.

Yeah. Like, she had, like, insane, like, because she was young. So I think, like, she was, like, showing. Ink, was she kind of drunk a little? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Liquid courage. And she was, like, it was almost like she was, like, trying too hard to show how tough

she was. And I was just like, you don't have to, like, play this, like, this role. Wait, maybe I missed this. How old was she? Probably 23 or something. I'm, like, cringing thinking about it, but I know what you mean. Like. But she was cool, but it was like, she was just trying too hard, I feel like, to be, like,

I'm an independent woman. I'm fucking for sport kind of thing. And it was like kind of a turnoff. I was like you could just be like just having a nice moment here. Just be you. She's like don't get attached.

You're not gonna. I was like how much. You should have big like you. Yeah, in a way. You just showed up here at five in the morning in a cab. Like yeah. I'm not gonna call you. She was like any, like you saying like she tried like just trying to do

anything as a turnoff. Like when you can tell someone's trying to be cool or trying to be tough or you know she texted all of her friends. and was like, you're never going to believe what I closed with. Yeah, probably. She's probably been listening to, like, call her daddy and got that weird move. Yeah. That's a great call.

You know what I mean? This is how you fuck with a guy. Yeah. That's how it felt a little bit. Yeah, I can see that. It's kind of fun. It was a good hookup, right? She was so fun.

She was beautiful. She was cool. And you guys went all the way. She's funny. So, yeah. So now what? Is this a girl you would ever date? Or is it like, we're done here?

She made it obvious that she didn't want to date. So that kind of felt nice, too. I mean, that could just be... Did you text her the next day? We wrote... I just wrote because I got her a car that happened to be a lift share. Happened to be, he says.

With the choice he had his thumb made. Happened to be. She's like, there's other people in this car. He goes, huh? How did that happen to be? I go, I'm sorry. Because I saw she was in the car for a good four days. She was in there a while.

I can't be. She was a different woman by the time she got home. By the time she got home, she's still in the car. By the time she got home, she had no more attitude left. She's like, you know what? You know what? You shouldn't get attached. I'm ready.

Yeah. She was like, if I come over again, it's going to be for a while. She just came in the car and went back again. And she was wearing like a real like night outfit, you know, like a lot of like dead animal jacket. And so there were definitely business people getting in, you know, and they could tell that. Yeah. I bought her water and I got like the generic like, I got Poland Springs. but then there was like generic.

And I grabbed one generic and I grabbed three Poland Springs. When Pullen Springs isn't like class before. There's spring water and then there's just like built her dirty Desani water. It wasn't Desani, but it was definitely, you've ever seen this brand before. He gave her water from the bodega cats bowl. If I could neck her with water. And I set her home in a lift chair. She was like, with the bodega water.

And she's like, I go, sorry about the look. She goes, I'm more sorry about this water. Any water you gave me. Wait, that's amazing, though. That's not something I would say. I actually would say that a hundred. If you bought her Desani, there's filtered water, but it wasn't.

I can't play that. It tasted. It tasted weird. So I went to the bodega to get the water. Like, I was a gentleman. I did. It was cold.

It was like 20 degrees. Yeah. So I threw on a jacket and I grabbed the shitty waters. But I did go all the way to the bodega. This is like 5 a. Right. Yeah. That's nice.

I risk my life. I live in the hood, you know. You're a gentleman. That is nice. I think they're great. I think that anybody should date you. I know.

Well, I feel like that about everybody in this room. I feel like we sandwiched the misconnection story in between the handjob and this girl you fucked and now. It might be tough. But if she's cool, like, this would be the ultimate girl for me. If she's like, so I heard about the rum and tug and then I heard about the girl you fucked and then Gia got her a lift share. And I don't care. Okay, so you kind of, we kind of lost.

We couldn't contain ourselves once you said lift share. So I think we were asking. what happened? Are you guys texting? No, that was it. So my question is when somebody like sweeps in with something so brazen and they like come over and sleep with you, like, are you talking to that girl anymore? I would if she wasn't so adamant about not wanting to like even like before we fought like she's like, yeah, I know what this is.

And it's like, but she got ahead of it before I even was going to decide that. It's not technically that I wouldn't. Right. I wouldn't disregard a girl that did that just because she did something so It was the other stuff. Yeah. It all depends on how bad you want them and are viving with somebody.

Like, it's really it. Like, all the, we have all these rules with dating and, like, with sex and hooking up. But as soon as you'd like somebody, all those rules kind of fly out the window.

You know what I mean? For some guys, you hope. Yeah, like, it would hope. It's like, if a girl just came over and it was a hookup,

and then after she left, I just couldn't help but think, like, fuck, I need to see her again. Like, then I would. I'd really make an effort.

I'm trying to win a girl back right now. Like, because we like dated for like a week and then I was like okay this has been a fucking headache for the entire week so I was like let's you know forget about it but then three days later I'm like all right I keep thinking about She's a teenager She's 13 but you know they grow fast now

It's an internet world but yeah I mean she's 19 to your 23 proportion wise Oh yeah it's fine Flotting our iTunes now She's a freshman year Citiator jokes are not funny Oh who gives a fuck You don't understand people don't like this stuff

She's not 13 She's 16 I don't see it's fine That's the title Yeah In Alabama They were like gonna vote for that Legit petophile

Like it was a close race For the governor or whatever Well you could do it Why was it such a nightmare For the week you were together Okay so Why would you want her back then if it was a nightmare You know

It's just like when girls like Fuck with you and confuse you I kind of like Because she's a little cold And she's like kind of mean And I kind of like Your dog just sneezes so loud. Yeah, he's been like really making a lot of noise.

It's scared Andrew. I watched him jump. Andrew doesn't understand dogs. Dogs sneeze? I've been to dog water for five years. Dogs have tongues? Dogs need water? He's doing something down there.

All right. Yeah. Why she was cold? Do you? You know, I just like kind of felt for a little bit. Basically, I just want to see, like, how far this could go. But you're miserable all week. So she, like, made you miserable, and you were like, you know what?

I miss that. Yeah. I wish I could be a massacist. Yeah. I like the, no, I don't like love, like, shitty, you know, when it's a shitty time with people. I've definitely been in those relationships. But, like, what happened was, like, the first time we hung out was, like, she didn't say, like, anything. Like, we grabbed dinner, drinks.

Like, she was just really quiet. And I was like, I mean, this girl was beautiful, but, like, she has got fucking, like, nothing to say. Yeah. And then I was like, okay, I'll try hanging out one more day. One more day. And now she's like, opens up more. And now I realize like, oh, she was just really shy. Yeah.

So then it got better. And then fucking second night I sleep over, you know, she gives me a blow job. But things are going great. Finger her. We're having an amazing time. The next night I come over, sleep over again. And I'm like, you know, kind of slide my hand down. And she's like, no, I, just cuddle me.

And I was like, okay, no problem. You know? I was like, but in my head, I'm like, wait, it feels like we're stepping back a little bit here. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, it's just, I can't get into the psyche of a 19-year-old. You know what I mean? Yeah, and you know what?

There's no logical sense to be made or anything. But then, like, well, unless she was maybe, it was a time in a month, maybe. She was in her head. And maybe she doesn't want to. Wait, I went too far. I'm having regrets. Or that guy. Yeah, just shit like that.

By letting you, like, touch her? She blew, no, no, the first night, she blew him. You know what I mean? She just thought once you started, like, touching her that she'd have to do that again. I don't know. No, you know what it was? She kept saying, like, I just want this to be, like, perfect, like, I want. And I was like, well, you wanting to have things, like, a certain way is kind of just, like,

hurting us, like, naturally just being normal with each other. You know what I mean? And just, like, living in this moment. And, like, you know, you're setting dates on everything in your head and shit like that. It's like, you know what I mean? I'm like, I'm not like, we need to fuck right now. Like, I don't care. But it's just like, I don't like when people don't be themselves and be natural and, like.

She's so young. Yeah. That's the issue. Yeah. I mean, the same with your girl. Don't get attached. We wanted to ask you guys, I mean, like, do you get, like, funny, cute, intriguing DMs that aren't sexual that might, like, cut through the clutter?

Like, is there's, like, because girls are, I think girls, whatever, we sexting and dirty talk is a different category, but, like, if a girl really is interested in a guy and wants to DMM, is there something that catches your attention? There's nothing I hate more than a, hey, what's up? Just that? Just from a complete, fucking stranger. Like, we talk about time. Like, what conversation do you get?

Where do you go from there, you know? I have those sitting in my. IDMs, hey, what's up? I think some girls are so cute. You don't mind? They just rest on that? You think it's just like they'll respond. It doesn't matter what I'm. To me, it's like entitled. It's like, it's like we don't know each other. We're strangers. You just go, hey, and you're like, oh, I'm just going to respond to anything that comes here. What do you say back to it? If somebody hits me with a Hey, What's Up? I'm like, what's up with you? Like, it's like, you know, you were just talking about someone being, I don't think there's anything more natural than a, hey,

what's up? It's like, it just seems like. But it's not a conversation starter. with a stranger? I know it's a break. It's not like a specific question, but it's, hey, what's up? Nothing much.

How's your day? What's going on? That's the worst conversation. And then in three fucking lines, you're talking about something. But you're not. So like, what I would suggest is like,

pick a thing on his Instagram, like a clip of him doing comedy, said, be like, hey, this is really, you're super funny. Like,

what's up? But that's not true. Fair. Right. I like honesty. This guy looks like a, hey, what's up guy? After I saw his 10 minutes.

Do you like an honest thing? Like, hey, I heard you on girls got to eat. Yeah. I like, I just like, uh, I like, art-y kind of fucking weird, like, interesting girls. Like, that aren't faking it. They're like genuinely like, have something to say. I think a girl who will look at my profile and be like,

like, like, just something just comes to her. You know what I mean? Like, if I'm on a dating app, I don't hit you with a fucking line. I don't hit you with like a, hi. I'll actually, if I look at your profile, I will say the first thing it makes me think. it makes me feel and I'll just throw that out of you. Say something.

You give me an example? Yeah, like I looked at your pig, sorry. Seriously, love? Puddled all over me. Yeah, he did. God damn. And that's a nice water. That's the pole in spring.

Leff, you're getting to be so wet. God damn it. It is smelled water all overrated. I didn't even know. How did you, how is there that much left in the bottle? I love that you're wiping it on me. You wiped it off the couch and just on me? What was the question?

He wants an example. He wants you to prove your, point. Yeah. Oh, like, for example, like, I love your collarbones. If I looked at your profile, Andrew, I'd be like, you should get your life together. Yeah. I just specific. I like that. I do like that. No, okay. Like, if I was a girl and I saw Andrew's profile. I love that. I know you were joking, but like if someone DM, like, that is, I would love, like, that's a funny, like, to me, like, I don't want someone to really nag me that I don't know, but if someone's like, also, I'm super successful. So they're being funny

if they say it to me. I don't know. I don't see the irony. What's up? I tour with Nicky Blazer, by the way. We just think you're, I'm like told Rated today. I have like fear. You're going to just be too famous for us. But you're not right. You guys are way above. Yeah. I'll ever be, I think. You didn't agree with that. Andrew. I hate it when you say things like you guys are above what I'll ever be. You are so fucking funny. Yeah, I know that.

And charming and handsome. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I want to make sure you believe this and know this, dude. Okay. I'm not ever going to feel that. Why that? Huh?

I'm trying to change thoughts. Is it like personality dysmorphia? Yeah. Like body dysmorphia? Like when you look in the mirror, you see like a not funny person. I don't think I'm... That's what it is. He's like, look, that unfunny piece of shit.

Yeah, look how funny. No, I think I'm funny. Actually, I do even those things I have anxiety. about. Every day I feel if I'm funnier. Like, I don't, I change a lot. My brain changes a lot.

I don't know. If you think about this stuff a lot, you and I were on Levs podcast, and you said that you, like, tell girls that you're a dog walker, and they ask you, like, what you do for a living, but, like,

you're a super awesome comedian. Yeah, fantastically funny. But that all, like, the success has all started within the last three, four months, really. All right. Well, like, Ashley's a dog walker, too,

but she doesn't leave with that. She owns the fucking dog right now. I picked up shit three times already today. I just left it there. So I guess, yeah. Thank you for, I do. I'm not fishing for those kind of compliment. I know.

Like, I break your balls a lot, but I just want to make sure you know, like how adored you are. I was like, I mean, just you two, I'm like, we just want to bring you guys with this everywhere. Like, we're doing all these shows and we're like, if we don't show up without you guys, people are going to be upset. Yeah.

I get a lot of messages about, those shows. Are you coming to Vancouver? I was like, they're going to Vancouver. I was like, oh, the fucking girls going to each other. Are you coming to D.C.? I'm like, what?

Where do they go to D.C.? And you see Andrew Post. Can't wait for D.C.? Yeah. Your girl, okay. Andrew. There's going to be so much to edit on this one. Do you like conversation start?

Are you like, hey, I heard you on this podcast or I heard you on you up or whatever. And like, I think, yeah, I don't, I mean, you know, I'm still pretty vain when it comes down to it. I mean, I still think you have to, yeah, I do like compliments, but there has to be some kind of attraction. There's the small profile pick and it's on private. Forget it. Yeah, it's hard.

So, like, I'll tend to maybe, if it's not something like interesting, then I'll tend to look over it because then you have to have the follow up. Like, oh, I can't really see who you are. I have a tactic. I wanted to share this. I haven't shared this yet. Because this happened to me. This guy wrote me and said, he had a small picture, obviously, he was on private.

it. He wrote me and was like, hey, I heard your podcast. I think you're pretty funny, whatever. You know, she's going to shoot my shot. I'd love to take you out if you're up for it. Yeah. I just wrote, thank you with a smiley, and then followed him to check him out. And so I responded. I followed him. He was hot. So I responded back. I feel like if I just would have left it, he would have been like, well, she followed me and didn't like what she saw. I wanted to respond and say, thank you. I'm very flattered, but not accept the date until I see what you look like. I think that's fair. But you saw that he was hot. in his profile.

There's some profile picks that are like, I got, you know, just a back the other day or I got, you know, like, for a girl like far, like a scene or like.

But you got to follow them. Huh? You have to follow them. I did. And then I think it's, it's fine. I disagree entirely with this approach. Okay.

But if that guy, but I said thank you, like I'm flattered. If I wasn't, if I didn't find him attractive, then I would have never responded. If he would have hit me up again, I would have been like,

sorry, I'm just not interested in right now. Yeah. I think here's what you do. because this happens to me a lot. A girl will DM. Yeah, this happens to you way more. So she gets the private account.

And you're like, okay, first of all, private accounts almost never have a chance because you can't fucking see the person. You're not private, right? No. Sometimes they have like jobs. Yeah, so the girl will like send a message

and I'll go, ah, that's too bad like your account. I was going to check you out, but your account's private. And then they go, 99% of the time, they go, okay, hang on, I'll make it public. And then they'll make a public. So you don't friend them? No. They'll make it public for like an hour window.

and then you have an hour to decide. Or have they ever just sent you a pick? No, never. They actually never have sent a pick before. They just go public. They just go public. They just changed all their settings. Yeah.

It's one setting. It makes so much pressure on the looks thing because of the private thing. There should be one picture. Like there's some people that have jobs. There's just like when I work in Amazon, there's no way I could have to have. Listen, I just think like let's just be open about this. Like I do or I don't find you attractive. Like I am very confident if I,

slid to someone's DMs and I was I was private and then I could they followed me and I'm I would be like they didn't like what they saw. That's fine. I'm not for everybody. You know, like I'm just kind of like let's, I hate this whole like you feel shallow. We're not shallow. You want somebody to feel attractive. Yeah. You have to feel attracted. Yeah. You have to say you can't meet somebody and fall in over the personality and the looks catch up later. That happens all the time too. But if you're going to slide in someone's DMs, all they have to see your pictures of you. Like if they don't find you attractive, they don't find you attractive. All my pictures. Stock them and find them in a bar and see. Me eating. cheeseburgers and wings. I slid to a guy's DM last night. Did you say? I thought he was hot and I decided to shoot my shot. Did you meet him first? Yeah, what was the connection? He was doing a set at the cellar last night and I was like he's hot. I know him. I like him. I'm gonna slide in and I just... Were you following each other at the time? No, he does. So you went into his unreads or whatever, his like, whatever. We definitely know who this is. Hey, no, you don't. I said, hey, I saw you. I saw you tonight and I thought you were super funny. And you wrote me right back. Oh, you didn't meet him in person.

I did meet him for one second. For one second. I was pitch black I was standing with. So that's what you opened with? I thought you were so funny. Which is like telling a comedian they're the hottest man on earth. Yeah, well, I'm in a game of a compliment, you know? And so what happened?

So we've been DMing. Andrew, does it you're funny DM do anything for you? Yeah, it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Also, comics are very lazy a lot of times, especially when it comes to dating and they're not in clubs. They're not in bars a lot. So if you shoot your shot with a comedy, there's a good chance that there's not.

A lot of times this is what will happen. Women will go, I must be one of a million messages. I was like, you're one of four in the last nine years. You're doing great. And by the way, there's like a little bit more nowadays, but it's just so funny when you're like, you must get a million of these. And I'll be like, yeah, you know, you know, you assume that like if it's a hot guy or whatever or funny, that they're getting way more attention than they probably are.

They're not, you know, Lev actually does have 300 messages or whatever, but, you know, whatever. You know what a DM I actually don't like? He invites them, though. What DM I don't like is, like, you're so hot. It doesn't really do anything for me because, like, I like to dress one. I like to look good and, like, feel good. But it's not because I'm like, I want everyone to think I'm so sexy. Like, I don't care.

You know what I mean? For me, the work is like the, it's the work. It's like comedy and trying to get funny. It's not interesting. It's a weird opener. Like, to say to somebody, you're so hot. Like, that's what I'm saying to, like, a guy I'm dating to, like, make him know he's hot and turn him on.

Yes. I can't, like, it's so bizarre. But it's not a conversation opener either. Like, what are you going to say? Thanks. You do. And when guys say that to girls, it goes nowhere. No, God, no.

Oh, God, no. No, never. That's just automatically in the creep. Right. The creep filter. But like you said, if you're hooking up or like, you guys are seeing each other and you, and then you tell that person, like, you're so hot. Like, a girl said that to me that I was dating.

I was like, that's, I'm so glad she thinks that. And I just think, like, especially, I don't know, I mean, you need to, like, pump guys up. Do you want to fuck, you know? Absolutely. I think they're hot. But just to like button that conversation up with the DMs, like I think start with anything of why you're here.

Like I heard you on this podcast. I saw you here. I think this picture on your Instagram's funny. Like I think just like explain what you're doing here and open a conversation up. And that should be your reply. Explain what you're doing here. It's your purpose. Or just like pull my panties down and go down to me or whatever you said.

Yeah. That works too. That also works. But that girl also came out to a show first. So she like. Did you meet her? she was with like a bunch of her girlfriends and she didn't say hello but her friends did. And then she was like, I wish I would have said hello.

Like I was so awkward. And then that was the next message. What DMs are you looking for? Like if a guy was like, hey, I want you to slide my boxers down slowly while I eat your ass. Like, is that going to help you? Like, when you slide my briefs down. No, just tell me like I'm funny and pretty. That's all I want to hear.

Yeah. I think if a guy was like, you're funny and pretty, you would be bored. No, I mean, it's like more than that. Like, it would be like, hey, I heard your podcast. Actually, I don't even know if I want that either. Also, your skin looks soft and I think you're probably pretty funny. Your skin looks soft is the creepiest thing you could ever send someone in the world. Tash, look at her face though.

She likes it. She's a little dreamy out of it. If a guy sends you, your skin is soft. I'd like to buy some of it. My perfect DM is just something that makes me laugh out loud. Like, if I'm texting with a guy from an app or whatever it is, I've like, if I'm going to audibly laugh, I'm like, that's my guy. Well, that's the winner for anybody. If you can get a laugh.

A girl sent me one the other day, I wish I could remember it. But, like, if you can get a laugh out of me, I'm in. It's hard to sometimes because someone will give you nothing to work off of. Right. So you're just like, hey, what's up is nothing to work off of. That's true. But that's true. But I'm saying, like, a few down the road, like, when you start to really, like,

conversate, whatever, like, and they give you nothing. Like, you can't be funny off of a bland answer. Yeah. Yeah. I get what you're saying, though. I did say, hey, what's up is fine. But I'm just saying it's, like, an opener. I don't need, but once we start talking,

it's like, the guy's not going to make you laugh if you're not giving him anything back either. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. I feel like a lot of conversations just end up being the same exact. You know what? I actually just remember this girl who we were DMing. She was super entertaining,

and I actually just pulled her up. Gifts is a good way to go too. If you send like the fucking, like, a gift, like she sent her a photo, and then she sent back this James Frankel, like, winking gif. And gifts are very, like, you can see like what people sense of humor is.

How do you do that? I don't even honestly know. But then I looked at her photos and I was like, wow, let's get married. But, and then she goes, let's. I said, do you have my number? I don't even remember. She goes smooth. And yes, I do.

And I said, wow, you're not even leaving me voicemails. And she goes, a true testament to my self-control. That's funny. Yeah. And then once ago, I said, I don't even have a voicemail. And she goes, wow, to think you could have gotten a Shakespearean love plea out of me. Like, she was just interesting. Yeah.

You know what happened with that? She can spell. This is nice. She moved away. No, I'm trying to set up a date. Can I ask a question? Can a girl be too funny? Are you guys turned off by a girl that's like,

because I think some guys want to be the funny one, you know? I think that definitely that happens with guys. It doesn't happen with me because. Yeah, me either. Because we're around a lot of hilarious women. But I'm also not trying to bust out a bunch of jokes right off the bat. I don't know. I love to do like witty banter, but I think sometimes people,

I don't know, maybe they don't like it. I don't know. Well, there's a difference between, like, like witty banter and then like disgusting humor. Well, I don't want that. I also want to be nagged by somebody. I don't want somebody to like make fun of me that I don't really know. But yeah, I don't know.

I think some girls worry about being too funny or something. No, definitely. It definitely happens. I mean, I know that, you know, Nikki deals with that when she dates, like, if we'll go out on dates with guys and stuff and it's like real, like, they get, I think, nervous around knowing how fun of it. A professional comic. Yeah, a professional comic.

But most, yeah, I don't know. someone's gonna, like someone like me and Raina and Nikki that's like a super strong personality, you love it or you don't. You know, like that's, I just, I just strongly think that. I don't think we grow on you. Like my, when I met my most serious ex, like my last ex, like he, you know, fell in love with me at the first meeting, you know, like, but somebody might go on a date with me and be like, never again.

Not you, but like I think about that about me too. Like I say a lot of biting jokes. You're just, it's you a strong personality. You're outgoing and you make jokes. Like it's, you, you want that. or you just do not. Like I think that's ultimately the DM thing for me is I just don't want anything basic or bland.

I want to see like a little twinge of a strong personality in somebody. Like quirkiness. Yeah. Like something. Like I said to this girl, like I was like, I can tell we'd get along and she goes, that theory might be worth testing.

Yeah. And I was like, okay. Like that's an interesting reply. Not everybody's just going to put that exact wording together. You know, so. Yeah. She put some words together.

Yeah. I was like, she put a whole sentence together. Theory is a big word. She knows the word theory. She's not in high school, Ashley, okay? There's a difference between, like, she's 24. There's a difference between being, like, loud, funny, and, like, just let the funny happen

in, like, a nice conversation, you know what I mean? Yeah. And that, and I don't like loud funny. Right, and I think when I first start texting with somebody or gets to know them, I'm, like, just kind of sarcastic and dry and, like, try to be low-key. I don't need to be, like, rah-ha. Yeah. It's a lot.

Yeah, girls that are loud-fuzzy or always the girls that tell you, I'm really funny. What's loud, funny? Can you explain that to me? Well, not really with DMs, but, like, in person. Like when just someone does a lot of antics When they're like really fucked up or drunk And it's just like sloppy Like getting attention on themselves

By any means necessary Yeah exactly Like twerking on a bar Yeah It has to be like a big yeah Just like just like I don't know It's just like what we're doing Oh we're doing cocaine off a dead man's cock

I don't know something Somebody that feels like they need to be the center of attention Yeah yeah and it's just like It's a little much and it's like And it comes from insecurity You can see it you know I think the guys They used to do that.

Or like that. Right? Like, that's who would date that girl. Well, yeah, there are a lot of guys like that. There are a lot of guys used to be like that. Can you imagine a couple like that? Oof. I can't think of one.

Yeah. There's a lot of them. Yeah. Really? Yeah, for sure. So we, okay, we started a new game last week. It was so much fun. So we want to keep playing.

It's called Power Move or Psycho. Love that name. It was inspired by a DM from a listener. She came up with it. And please continue to submit your power mover or psycho emails to us at hello at Girls Got to eat podcast.com. So we pulled four really funny ones.

We might cut it shorter so Ashley and I can tell our own stories. When we went, if you guys have any, I mean, that you've done or a girl has done, Psycho or Power Move. I like saying Psycho or Power Move. You like Sayco or Power Move. I like Psycho or Power Move. Yeah, Psych or Power Move. Let's make the decision as a family right now.

What are we going to call it? Psycho or Power Move or Psycho. No, it doesn't. Psych or Power Move. All right. It is decided. Okay, I'm going to read you one. It's my favorite one we've ever gotten.

Probably. I laughed so hard. It was insane. All right, this girl, the title of email is Conductor of the Crazy Train. I think I know her. Thanks me. All right. You said no judgment.

So, after going through a really tough breakup with my boyfriend of five years, I found out he had a new girlfriend one week after the breakup. Cheater alert. We went to the same college, and I live in the same small town as him, so there was really no escaping the site of them together. One day, I successfully guessed his Facebook password. It's our cat's name. and went through all of his messages. It didn't stop there. I continued my sleuthing on Instagram,

Twitter, and his emails. This went on for a while, and every now and then I would check back when I was bored and having an uncontrollable sobbing episode. She's honest. This is a lot. It's so funny. He went through her LinkedIn, every account.

She went through his... She changed all of his, like, professional job history. She made it from, like, manager at this. She's just, like, slut at office. like that he got promoted Wendy's cashier Professional silverware roller No that's my ex

My too Fast forward a few months I saw an email regarding an engagement ring I saw that he had placed an order online For an engagement ring So that he proposed to his girlfriend He had barely been dating

For under a year I immediately without questioning myself Or consequences Canceled the order Oh shit That's great Like that's gonna stop him. Like, he's like, well, I guess I can't propose now. Like, she just, like, stalled it a little

bit. Yeah. Even though they're now married because he just had to go into the store and buy the ring, I still find joy knowing I temporarily stopped the engagement. Good for you. It's so good. This is my favorite emails we've ever gotten. Yeah, that's good. Power mover, psycho. You should do it, but I'm with her. Power move 100%. It's just, it's just like, yeah, fuck with him. Yeah. Cancel the ring order. He'll go get it again. but just inconvenience him a little bit. It's like it makes you look bad in the best way. You know what I mean?

Like, it's great. I'm with her. Also, she said this. She said this guy was dumb. And like, I know, she didn't say dumb, but she said that he made all of his passwords.

They're shared, they said he was dumb. Their shared pet name. Did she like them still or no? She probably feels burned. When you were just really burned. When you were supposed to be for five years and a week later, they're with somebody.

And like, a few months later they're engaged. Yeah. If that guy was dumb, I'm just like, I would kind of get a, off on the image of him being like, did I cancel that? Like that he thought it was a sign from God.

Yeah. He's like, well, I guess I can't get married now. But no, I think, I think it's a power move. But I mean, it's a power move that you're, he's, it's not, I mean, for about four days, you're going to feel great. And then you're going to be like, why did I do that? It's honestly just a funny story. And then you're just wishing the rig was for you for the rest of time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, and then I made the ring. come to my address. Now I have a ring. The real power move is put a smaller diamond in a huge fucking circle. Like a shing, like a pear shape, like an ugly ass ring. Oh, these bidsch on a fucking thumb. By the ugliest ring you could ever buy.

Resize it, yes. Yeah, resize it. That's the power move. I would have it sent to me to a P.O. Box and sell it. Yeah, yeah. It's a money to do. Start a new life. $50,000.

I would open him a diamond dealership on 54th Street. Yeah. Just change the address. That's incredible. You write a biography about it. Right. It starts over. 15 grand.

All right, guys. Okay, so let me set the scene. Probably. I dated this guy all throughout college, literally freshman year to senior year and come the end of senior year. I found out he was fucking cheating on me most of the time. So, of course, I dump his ass and he does everything in his power to make the end of my senior year hell because, you know, it's my fault.

He can't keep his dick in his pants. He was plain dirty, flaunting other girls in my face, threatening guys that talk to me, etc. Well, I don't play dirty. I play smart. Don't get attached. I'm just kidding. So my friend and I Googled hot shirtless men created an ad on Craigslist saying hot single gay man looking for someone to call daddy, also love dick in my mouth, text me for more information and put his phone number listed with the ad. In a matter of minutes, his phone was swarmed with dick pics and messages for men asking him to bang. It was the best revenge I've ever gotten. Psycho or Power Move? They're all a little bit of both at the end of the day.

This one's a little harder to tell But for me, for us, you know, a lot of, all these ones are like, you were, you were wrong. He, like, cheated on her. It's like, you know. To me, it's like she didn't take it too far. She didn't ruin his life.

Yeah. She'd cost him any money. She didn't cost him his job. She's just like a funny way to fuck with somebody. I mean, they say hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned because she'll do that on Craigslist to you. Yeah. This isn't even that bad.

This is just funny. Like, dick picks pouring into his phone? So what happened? It's funny, but like, psycho or power movie? I got another one for you. I think that was in between. I don't hate it. Yeah, I don't, I don't hate it.

It's just like, the guy's going to have to change his number. He'll just block a couple things. I mean, it sounds like he was fucking with her. You know, like, I don't like drama. It stresses me out. Like, I don't like to be in like a revenge war with somebody. No. But it's, I don't know.

It's like, I guess she felt like she was being fixed on. If it gives her an ending, like, if it gives you a definitive, like, closure. Yeah. Then just, that's fine. I think then it's good. Well, all of these are like, I was dating somebody he cheated on me or I was dating somebody and he left me

with somebody a week later. They're all like that. If you can just fuck with somebody's day a little bit. These are all crimes of passion. All right, I got another one. This one involves seafood. Ooh, I'm in. So this guy I was dating, cheated on me with his ex.

I lived in Arizona at the time and it was during springtime. So it was very hot, like 90 degrees out even at 7 a.m. So late at night, me and my friends got anchovies, shrimp, and milk and dumped it in the pickup of his truck and on his windshield

so that it had to have smelled the next day. I'm pretty sure he never knew it was me. Even saw me earlier, no sign that he had any idea. Psycho or Power Movement. Wait, why did she do it? He cheated on her. God, they're all cheaters, man. Yeah, I don't know. It's not really

a Power Move or Psycho. It's a move. It's like, it's not that powerful, but it's not that psycho either. It sounds expensive to me. Like, I was a food. Yeah, why did you go with shrimp? Yeah. You know what I did?

I went and got a steak and lobster dinner. And then I ate just two bites. And then I brought it to his house and put it by his door. Well, I got, my ex would, like, get drunk and, like, be mean to me. And so we were in a bar one time. And he just out of nowhere, we were fine. We're having a good day. He just started saying mean stuff to me.

It was bad. And I was so at my breaking point. We were about to go on a trip. I was like, I can't believe he's doing this. Like, this is, again. And we had done. just ordered shrimp nachos. They're like my favorite at the dish at this thing. And I think

just had set on the table. And I was so enraged. And I was like I fuck, I can't believe he's doing this in this moment. And the stuff he's saying is so crazy. And it was like, in my head, I was like, do I dump the nachos on him or slap him across the face? And so he got slapped because I was like, I can't spell the nachos. Like, I couldn't do it. They're my face. It's my favorite nachos. And so it was just like a slap hurt around the world. Like everyone was like, I mean, it was. And of course, then he turned it into my

fault because I had him. So when you hit him, though, did he leave? I don't, I laughed and then obviously he left soon there after. Did you get the nachos to go? No, that was the only thing I wish I would have taken the nacho. So you might as well have thrown him. No, that was like when he was supposed to go to the wedding. No, he didn't go.

Like, I was like, this is over. You fucking crazy? You fucking shrimp nachos and I get one bite? But you didn't even take the nacho. But like, well, you guys, was I supposed to slap him and then get a to go box? Like, I had to just leave. Well, you just ruined the nachos. You know, you should have got the to go.

You're right. Done both. Get to the bow box first, then slap. You don't want to slap and they go, by the way, can I know. I'm going to get this to go. I'm going to wait around for 90 minutes while he cries. Well, that was the thing. I had to leave.

I had to storm out, obviously. But I still was like, you got to do a slap and storm. You can't do. Yeah. Like, well, you guys, I still don't know what happened in the nachos. It was so funny if you called the restaurant. You're like, so, yeah, I'm the lady that just slap that guy.

If you could just, um, oh, you have postmates? Be your postmates? Well, so, okay. I'll just finish the story. He's just standing there staring at the notch. This was like a neighborhood bar that we went to a lie. You're eating them with another girl now. Yeah.

Right. That's why he got slapped. The whole plan that day was we were meeting all these friends to watch football. So I was like, I don't know if I can go back. I had to go. All my friends were like, we're here. And I'm like, well, I just slapped Billy. You know, like, and I was like, I don't know if I can come back in.

They're like, why don't you come in through the back? Is that his name? No, I would never. I don't say his real name. So I was like, you know, I just slapped Billy. And they were like, we're here. and I'm like, I'm going to come in through the back. And like, I swear one of the servers was like,

there's that crazy fucking bitch. I just turned to the scene of the crime. You basically assaulted somebody. Somebody walked out the front door. You put a hat on. She put a hat on. Like, no, that wasn't me. Slap.

What's laugh? The lady didn't have a hat. I want a shrimp, can I order of shrimp nachos? Can I get an order of shrimp nach? No, no, no, no, no. Not me. Can you break them up?

My hands tied up. Yeah, yeah. I think I spray my wrist. Can I get some ice for this hand? You have any wrap? Psycho or power move? The nachos? I think the power move.

I think it's psychotic. You left the nachos? Yeah. Yeah. You guys, it was, I had this thing of like, I just can't do that. Like, I just was like, the slap felt better. But I think in, in hindsight, I would have done both or got the tiggo box before I did the slap.

You got to get the tiggo. I'm hungry talking about shrimp nacho. I am too. I was so good. I was a tar after that to get dinner. Okay. That's fine. I've never thought.

to like prank and well I've really not been in that many relationships but like gotten so furious to like go through and take the time. It's laziness too. I just don't want to live like that. Like I don't want to be like I do this thing to you now you do it back to me. Yeah. And then you always gotta be on your toes. I don't like I hate it. Like the thought of that like somebody coming for me is like I would lose sleep at night. It's not how I want to live my life. I hate drama my own life. I love other people's drama. Don't get me wrong. I don't think any of us have really been in situations where like we've pushed the other person and need to do some shit like that because it's all like cheating stories and stuff like that.

I've dated a girl with like an ex-boyfriend or an ex-like a crazy ex-boyfriend and that's the fucking worst. Oh, right. And she, I remember he was just crazy. Like he wanted to fight me and shit all the time. Like wherever we, like, oh, we can't go to this bar because he's there and I don't know how he would act.

And I was like, such a fucking bummer. How small was this town? Every bar you had to worry he was there? Yeah. Yeah, it was a small town. There's that one saloon, you know? But no, I don't know. He's everywhere.

He's like the wind. Yeah. It was funny though because like, always driving behind them in a car. She did a weird prank to me. Yeah, we wanted to hear. We're going to wrap this up, but we want to hear of you guys have one.

This was kind of, I wasn't really a prank, but like we were like, I was kind of over the whole boyfriend being like, it just wasn't fun for me. Yeah. Also, my other friend was pranking me

that he was going to like beat the shit out of me and I thought it was the boyfriend. and it wasn't, they did what they didn't even like, he was like, he was like, zero to a hundred so quick. So I was,

but it was my other friend. You were to stab somebody once in a while he showed up in the same bar as you so you started sleeping with a switch plane? You know how your boys break in you so you put the gun under the pillow? Was this before, after you got stabbed?

I know, sleeping with a knife in the bed for you. So you do how to stab somebody because, yeah. Yeah, because I've been stabbed. Did I tell that story on this show? No.

I've heard your stab story on your, anyways. Yeah. So I just been stabbed. We'll get, yeah, I got stabbed, whatever.

And so, uh, he gets for sleep walking. Yes. Yeah. The, yeah, so I was like,

all fucking nervous about that. So then I broke up with her because I thought the crazy X was the one that was threatening my life, but it would end up being one of my buddies. Because I made fun of him for being poor once. And so he fucking, he fucking, like,

he's like, I'm going to kill you, fucking Jew motherfucker. And he hangs up and I'm like, oh my God, I got to get a knife. And I was so scared. Was this at the frack?

I'm like 27 at this, 26 at this point. And so then I break up with her because I'm like, I'm the want this in my life. And so then she tries to get back with me. This is the power move, very psycho. She goes, I'm pregnant. That is the most psycho of all the psycho moves. So this is the thing.

And then I'm like, she's like, what do you want to do? And I was like, I mean, I don't. We got to kill the ex-boyfriend first. We got two people to kill. here. They didn't get enough on the knife line. I didn't think about how dark that was. Got this knife.

So it turned out, she goes, oh, no. So I was like, all right, you're pregnant. And then she goes, oh, no, it's an atopical pregnancy, which is apparently when you get, I don't know. It's a tropical pregnancy, man. It's a lot. No, it's outside. When you get pregnant, it's like,

When it, like, when... It's on the skin? It's like the outside of the... I don't know. I never really looked into it. It's not a thing. If you Google atopical pregnancy, you'll know what it is. So the baby can't form.

It's like it got outside the uterus or whatever. It was like she was basically saying she miscarried. Yeah, they released the eggs, but it didn't actually take. Do you think that was a lie? Been all a lie. It was all a lie to try to like get me back in a weird... Not like get me back for bringing up with her, but like get me back to be with her. Always psycho.

And, yeah, that was really psych. go. And then she threw shrimp in my pants. More shrimp? Yeah, more shrimp. Are you serious? No, no. Oh my God. I was like, we have three shrimp moves. Well, I think we need to wrap up, right? I'm so tired. Rain is tired. Let us to go. You have another podcast. Thank you guys for doing this with us with us for our Christmas holiday episode. It's Christmas Eve. Is this really going to come out on Christmas? Christmas Eve, right? Wow. That's sweet. Patreon or like real?

This is the real deal. We had somebody cancel again. I just want to drive that home. Yeah, it's, well... Do you guys have any closing remarks? I do. Okay. I just want to say thank you for everything that you've done for the girls out there. And for this girl right here. You do it for Lev.

Yeah, this is like the end of the year. You guys were really, the freaking to recap the other two, but it really was incredibly special, the holiday show. And I had so much fun. And I can't wait to marry both of you. We're engaged. That's ambitious. But also there's, if the misconnection. Well, I got engaged at night.

You didn't see it. I proposed. I proposed it on stage. That's right. We really trust you to do anything you want. On stage, I know. You were like, sorry if I took the moment away for you and we were like, that was an amazing moment. Free rain.

Anything you want. You promised to go down on us three times a week, clean the hair off the shower wall. Yeah. Love, do you have any close remarks? You can definitely need. Well, I don't want to want to want to answer. I just want to say thank you guys for everything you do for everyone, not just the girls. Including you.

And, you know, obviously, I thought the holiday. shows were really, really special, even more special than Andrew thought they were. And not to want to glad. It's like, pridesmaids. But, like, I just, you know, I was really, like, depressed for a while before I met you two. And you guys just really brought me out of it. I was even thinking about, you know, ending it. And, but if it wasn't for you, too, I just feel like I'm a new man because of you, too.

And just, you know, and he just reminded me that I remember when I was standing on that bridge. Yeah. somebody drove by in a cab and I heard your podcast being played. And that was all I needed to give myself purpose. I remember when I jumped and I hit the floor and it was weird because someone jumped before me who was also listening to your podcast. And I just, I felt a connection with that person. I go, what do you listen to? They're like, girls got it.

And then I looked it up later because they didn't say eat because they died. They died. Yeah. Right. Were you jumping into water? How did you survive and he didn't survive? I landed on top of him. I remember when I woke up in that coma after jumping.

Yeah. Before you did. Oh, you didn't die. The first thing, I remember I looked at my phone that was cracked. So I looked at my other phone, which you guys also have the numbers too because we're all so close. Yeah. The fingerprints in there. Yeah.

And the first text I saw were, um, love, we love you. And thank you for, helping the show and we also have to go check in on Andrew. I heard he's going to go do something too. And then I just, I just want to say thank you for everything. Sometimes, you know, you can look at somebody and communicate with just a look. I am so glad we got to live this real life bridesmaids speech, one-uping moments. One of my favorite scenes of all of you.

We love you guys. Thank you for everything you're doing. We love you guys. Oh, also if you can, tell us in a Young Daddy podcast. We're going to cut that. What? Yeah, I'm not going to plug my podcast. I feel like this is your show.

Do it. No, no. So tell everybody. It's what you do on podcasts. Tell everybody we can find you guys. I'm fucking around. You can find me at my podcast. It's happy never after.

A lot of people say happily and it was really dumb. We figured that out right away. But it's happy never after. And then I'm on you up with Nikki Glazer and I'll be on tour. I'm going to be in Brea Improv. Okay. Second through to six. Then I'll be a Cap City in Austin

And then I'll be a Tacoma Comedy Club And then Helium Comedy Club in Portland So come on out See, that's what I'm saying. I'm scared you're gonna be too busy for us. Please come out. Please come out. I'm not. I can always make time for a left.

Hopefully you'll be in some of our shows. So we'll talk about it. Yeah. On Instagram, it's L-E-V-F-E-R. Make sure you go to Young Daddy Podcasts. Listen to that shit. And if you're around in New York City on New Year's, I'm doing two really dope shows with the stand.

One is going to be, they're both. Yeah, both on New Year's Eve. Oh, cool. Go to Ticket Fly, the Stand. Just search like the stand holiday shows. You'll see you there. Come hang out and say hello.

Maybe I'll do that. I was going to live my truth this year and not going out of anything. Yeah, come out. I feel like that's my truth. It's not going out on New Year's. It's going to be a really killer show. You should come. All right, guys.

Well, as always, follow us. Girls got to get a podcast. Check our website for show dates. And hopefully some of these guys will be at some of our shows and subscribe, and subscribe, rate review. And Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, guys. Happy, Happy, Hock.

Happy onyka. Bye.