Girls Gotta Eat - The Power of Female Friendship

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

It's our 5-year anniversary episode (!!!) and we're covering a lot of ground – sharing what we've learned over the last half-decade, gushing over our audience, and answering the questions you have about past hookups, our LA move, best/worst/drunkest guests, and much more (YES we are finally spilling the tea on the male escort interview that never aired and why). Then we're moving into the friendship conversation – the importance and power of the relationships we have with our girlfriends, why and how we should celebrate friends' accomplishments other than marriages and babies, and friendship meet-cutes (with some tips for making friends). We're also (randomly) discussing our bad behavior as kids, why we hate a traditional baby/wedding shower, Ashley's hydration journey update, Rayna's water quirk, and an astounding/amazing listener message about butt stuff and having kids. Hope you enjoy and THANK YOU for five wonderful years! Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Daily Harvest: Get up to $40 off your first box at dailyharvest.com/gge. Calm: For a limited time, get 40% off a premium subscription at calm.com/gge. Helix: Get up to $350 off all mattress orders + 2 free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge with code HELIXPARTNER. Living Proof: Get 10% off your first purchase at livingproof.com/gge and use code GGELP. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D + 10 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just out of nowhere, hype your fucking friends up. Hey, bitch, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, bitch. I'm proud of you, bitch. Girls gotta eat. It's our five-year anniversary. It's Galentine's Day. Azul is here.

We brought him into the studio. Azul is in Hollywood. You guys are watching. He's just on this short little miniature couch with us. I'm really pinned to the side of this couch. I know. It's just like I walked and I saw this couch. like, are we all going to fit?

He's loved his best leg. I know. But we couldn't leave him behind because it's Galentine's Day and we just wanted him with us. Yes. His first LA recording. Azul's my forever Valentine.

You see what I did there? We're so excited about this episode and we're five years in and we have so much to discuss today. This one is for the girls and the besties and we're so excited for you guys to listen to it. So like actually said, this is a really special episode. This is like a really big fucking deal, five years. And we're talking about friendship. And I'm just, I'm really excited to dedicate this one to our audience. Yeah, I am too. We crowdsourced a ton of stories and anecdotes from you guys. And we're so excited to share them. We'll go through like some of our like housekeeping items, of course, first. So I have a big update. This is huge. No, I've been saving it.

It's regarding my hydration journey. Oh, what's happening? This is big. I don't even, you're going to have to, like, just, are you sitting, are you sitting down? Are you sitting down? Yeah. I'm wearing all blue furzeal.

I am drinking room temp water now. Why? I have always been a cold water stand. I hate when you get served, room temp at restaurants. And I've just, like, purposely ignored all of the data behind room temp. water being better for you. It is better for you. So I've just always been like, I don't want to hear it. I don't either. I'm not changing my ways. I'm a cold water person. And we had Jay Shetty on an incredible episode. You guys loved it. I watched a video of his wife saying how you're supposed to drink water

and it just got into me. Then I was like, I might be ready to start the transition. And so I decided to do way more research on it. And then I just reframed my whole brain surrounding water temperatures. And now my Britta sits out. Really? I haven't even had cold water for like a week. How does it feel? I love it. And if I'm being honest with myself,

that cold water does hurt your throat a little bit. Like, it's not warm. I'm never going to drink warm water. I'll still drink cold water. This water's cold and I like it. And I still think cold water on a warm day is so refreshing. But as well, you're staying up here. We brought you all the way to Hollywood.

You're going to stay up on this couch to give the people what they want. I'm like holding. on him for dear life. I'm like, you can't. It's so cold if you guys aren't watching the YouTube noise on. I just, it gets in your system better. It's supposed to be better for you. It's easier on your system to go down and to digest. And so I have just decided, I changed my mind and I was like, I'm going to do this. And if I'm being honest, I do like it. It doesn't hurt your throat as much. I agree. I don't think I get behind it. You're cold. I need to have cold water at all times. I crush like four water bottles a day. Yeah. You don't ever see me drink water. Nobody believes me.

that I drink water, but I do at home. Yeah, you take plastic water bottles and fill them up with tap water and put them in the fridge. And then I come over and think I'm getting a fresh bottle of water and it's just a used bottle of tap water. I'm very insecure about this. Here's the reason. So I go through a lot of waters every day.

So I don't want to like waste that much plastic. So I keep refilling the same one. But when people come over, it is embarrassing because they're like, do you have water? and then I open my fridge. And so what I do a lot of the times is I like pretend that I've opened the bottle for them. Like I'm a water Somalié. That is so funny. I do this. I'm really insecure about it.

You know, what's funny is that you're out here shaming all of us who have giant water bottles when what you're doing is so much more embarrassing. And you're just like drinking more plastic over and over and over. You're drinking old plastic. Well, now I have a giant water bottle because when Jeremy was staying with me, he left his massive like man-sized water bottle. So I have a big one that I guess I will continue to use now. I like the metal because it stays cold.

Well, yeah, that's the point. That's the point of a water bottle to keep it cold. You know, I'm just not a water bottle person. But I just like to feel that plastic crunch in your hands. It gives you a thrill. Sometimes I like when I put it down next to my bed and then I think I'm going to sleep and then it pops. You know that sound. It scares the shit out of me.

So you grab your knife. Oh my God. Anyway, I did just want to update everybody, and I just feel like I've been ignoring the science for years because I didn't want to hear it. I mean, I've heard that it is better for you. I'm not going to be ready. Yeah. You've got a couple years I'll be ready. I'm not going to be ready.

Well, you've always had room-temper water at restaurants. A lot of restaurants do that. And you drink it. I feel like you don't see me drink a lot of water at restaurants. I feel like I'm an alcohol. I do all alcohol or nothing. Okay. I'm going to pay more attention now.

I wish I had like a body update, but I'm still doing what I'm doing. A lot of dips, a lot of farmers market stuff. I didn't get to go to the farmer's market last week at all. But I'm sure since we've been back, I've reloaded. So tomorrow is Valentine's, Day. We have to spend it together. Yes, we're always together on Valentine's Day, ever, literally every single year. I just, I also just like, if I'm dating somebody I want every day to feel like Valentine's Day, you don't need to take me out to some restaurant on Valentine's Day to have like one of the worst meals you could possibly have packed to the wall that'd rather just be with my friends. Well, so I'm doing a comedy show on Valentine's Day. There might still be tickets. You guys can come. This is the show that Andrew Collin and I are hosting at the Hollywood Improv. And we were like, how fun to do this on Valentine's Day at 10, like 10, 10, PM show. So I think it's going to be really fun because it can be couples who maybe they went to dinner or they did something and then they can come after and then singles. I just think it's going to be a

really fun show. But I think that's a fun thing to do. I'm not just pushing my show. I am. You you guys should come if there's tickets available. But I think that's a fun activity to do on Valentine's Day is go to a comedy show. I'm on a show before that at the belly room at the comedy store. Like I think it's a fun night to do comedy and go to comedy. Well, you know, I love comedy for a date. I love to see what somebody's laughing at. I love an activity. I can go to dinner every night of the week. I'm all sad. I love an activity. Yeah. So if you're in L.A., we'll see you at the improv. Yeah. And if not, enjoy your stupid night. No, I'm just kidding. And if you're looking for something to do tomorrow during the day, we are on the Drew Barrymore show with Dr. Ruth and Matthew Hussey. It's a really fun, like dating themed panel. We're really

excited about it. So check that out also. And if you got your vibes only vibrators, you're going to be getting in on those on Valentine's Day. I have to read you this DM. Okay. Because we really been pushing butt stuff for this Valentine's Day. We're like this, 2020, 3, it's the year of butt stuff. We're released our anal vibe. And, you know, we did our episode last week. Hope you guys loved that one. And so this is an extreme DM.

Extreme sports, extreme direct messaging. She said, hey, Ashley, love the podcast, half a few years. Funny story. My husband always wanted to do butt stuff. But after a horrible experience, I said, hell no. Now she probably has more tips after listening to last week's episode. But bad experience said no. well, I always wanted three kids and he only wants two.

We have two beautiful daughters. This past weekend we had a discussion that if I let butt stuff into the bedroom, he will be okay with having a third child. That's what it took? Needless to say, I will be ordering your new toy. Have a great day. I have so done. She's got to put something in her butthole and her belly.

She's going to do all the work. We have all the work. He has all the fun. Okay. You know what's so funny? So they have two daughters, right? Their third child, whether, let's just say, a boy. They finally have like the boy they might have wanted. They're like, why did you guys

decide to have a third? Because I did butt stuff. Like, that's that kid's origin story. I want to know what the parameters on this are. Like, does she have to stick it all the way in? How many thrusts does he have to do? I want to follow up. Like, do they do it like frequently? I'm going to go ahead and assume that they're doing full anal for to have a child. Let her tarry a child for nine months. This poor woman. No. If you have an, Another daughter. You have to name her Annalise. Yeah, that's the deal.

Obviously. What would the boys name be? Anul. Anul. Anal's a word. No, what about, like, maybe like Brody. It kind of sounds like booty. Okay.

I'm trying to think what else sounds like butthole. Or is there like a man in history that's famous for butt stuff? Is there? You name him after the most famous butt stuff. Maybe it's like Lou. Like, it's like Lou. Oh, I think it's like the Lou. Okay.

I like the name Lou, too. I don't, I've never met a Lou. It wasn't hot. I like it. I also like a null. What's that a name? Totally a name. It's spelled like anal.

It's a name. Well, I am wishing them all the best. I'm rooting for that. In their butt stuff and their child conceiving. Yeah, I'm really rooting for you guys. I agree with you. I think that they have to go full thrust. I think they probably have to do it a couple times.

It's funny because she's about to get turned out because now they're trying to have a kid and their twin bust. Like her holes are going to be so filled. I feel like she's going to be pregnant and he's going to be like, you're welcome. I know you don't want to have pussy sacks. Now I get to hit it just in your butthole. You're welcome. Are they going to be doing anal when she's pregnant? Yeah, definitely.

A hundred percent. I mean, I feel like why not? It's an easier hole to get into. Okay. I love our buplug. I masturbated with it last night. It's so good. I used it in the front, too.

Like, it's a nice little anchor. It's comfortable to, like, masturbate the front. Yeah, I mean, it's a vibrating butt plug. It's just so beautiful. So, good luck to them. Good luck to all of you on sucking dick this Valentine's Day. I'm having sex, doing naughty stuff, whether it's with yourself or with a partner. I'm still on the DM.

I'm going to throw this shower. We're going to have a whole butt-themed shower. Like, every, all the food is peat. Like, are her friends going to know? Or is it going to be like, why did Jason, finally decide to come around to the third. And she's like, because he put it my butt? What a marriage goal? Marriage is all about compromise. That's what they say. I like imagine her emailing us and being like, I just have to tell you guys, like I use the butt plug. She's like really

get into anal and then we got pregnant. I feel like I'm going to cry. I know. I know. And she gets pregnant. Yeah. So please email us. I think the shower should be all peach food themed. Love that. So you do like a nice peach salad and then peach desserts. It's peach salad. You got to eat that peach salad for sure. Peach cream pie. What about like little dessert shaped? Littleini emoji poo? Oh, they'll play that diaper poop game. All right. I've been to no showers. I've been to one baby shower. Oh my God. You're so lucky. What are you? That's why I moved away from Atlanta. It's my worst nightmare. I just had to lie so much about not being able to make people's baby showers. I was like, I can't live like this. worst nightmare. I've been to one. I've been to one day. I've been to one day shower. I've like hosted

them. I know you have. I've been to one baby shower in my entire life. I feel like people know not to invite me. I don't have a lot of friends in New York. They have babies. I've lived in New York for 15 years. My friends are not like the baby sect of people in New York. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You lived in New York the whole time I was like in Atlanta. So it totally makes sense. I mean, Matt's was so great. It was like a party. It was just like co-ed. But they got a breast production that weekend. So that I didn't have to go to that one. It was you missed. You missed out. It was really fun. I mean, no shade, but there's nothing worse than just sitting around watching someone open babies.

I just, I really don't understand this tradition. We talked about this on the podcast. I feel like fired up when I hear about it. Like, watching somebody open presence is the least lit thing in the world. I don't want to do it. It's rude. It feels weird. Listen, love your truth.

If you guys did that, I'm sure all of you did it. My sister-in-law did it. And I happily took notes while she did it. But it's a weird tradition I don't really understand. I think we're also coming out of it a little bit. Like I think, you know, people that probably even did that, whatever, 10 years ago were like, that was stupid. If I could redo it, I wouldn't. Because I think people are coming more of that, like, show up with the gifts unwrapped, put them in the corner.

Let's have some mimosas. It feels weirdly materialistic. Like, I know it's in those boxes. It's toaster ovens and serving platters. I don't need it. But then, I mean, what I did was Stephanie after the shower is, like, we kind of opened everything together and, like, wrote it down. It was like a really fun experience, like for the family. But to have to sit there and watch that, like, I'm just drinking and power through this.

So by the end of the gift opening, I'm like blacked out drunk. I feel like if I was the one opening them too, like to keep it up, you got to have the same excitement for the first gift than the 50th gift. And it reminds me when we would do meet and greets because I would be like, every person in this line deserves the same energy. The 50th girl, we're an hour in, deserves the same energy as the first girl. And like that's how I would feel like plowing through these gifts. The first toaster and the last toaster. Well, but also baby stuff, at least it can be cute. to watch people open cookware.

What? I will not come. If there's some sort of wedding shower and we got to sit around and watch you open kitchen stuff, it seems like a punishment. Like at least baby stuff's like cute and like funny. You know, it's like all these like nipple clamps and weird stuff that like mom's not nipple clamps. You guys know what I mean.

I open all those gifts of Stephanie's. There's stuff for your nipples. There's all kinds of stuff. Nipple clamps. It's not nipple clamps. But like there's all this like at least like content worthy. Like watching people open lots and. hands. It is so true. It's a punishment. It is a punishment. That's why I don't go to any of these. I haven't

gone to a lot of wedding showers either. I'm like also no shade. Listen, do whatever you want. I don't care. Just what we say all the time, my life decisions are at a judgment call in your life decision. Do whatever you want. My sister-in-law's shower, there was like 50 women and my mom and my stepmom were there. And so I was sitting like at the front, like taking notes for my sister-in-law. And so I had a view of the whole room. And my stepmother bought my sister-in-law that's gift. And it was a bag and there was 14 items in they're individually wrapped. And it was like the dumbest shit you'd ever think. It was like she went to her bathroom and she was like, what kind of tissue wrap? Like there was Arnica, like burn cream. Like she just tissue paper wrapped every, watching my mom's face while my sister-in-law was unwrapping

14 gifts was one of the greatest moments of my life. But I will say moms, especially new moms, they go off on gifts like that. And I think it's so sweet and so nice. Like Corey, for example, gave Stephanie this big basket of all that shit that you don't know you need. There's this gripe water. Everybody got her gripe water. I'm like, what the fuck? You wouldn't know. Then there's like the nipple clams.

When you see nipple clams, are you talking about the pump? I'm kidding. I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm just making a joke. It is something for your nipples. So like Corey did all these things and like did a stick you known at everyone of like, this really helped me. This is why you need this.

It's wonderful. It's so thoughtful and wonderful, but also to individually wrap all that is crazy. You're going to wrap the Arnica. Well, my stepmom was a piece of shit. She's no longer with us. But I think those are so nice and I had so much fun going through all those and also learning and also being like, this shit's about to get crazy. Well, you do learn.

I mean, I feel like I don't need to learn anything for marriage. Like, I just show up, right? And like, you hope it works out. Like, that's not the same as a kid. So I want, like, a little more feedback. Okay. Great. 30-minute segment on showers.

Oh, shitting on your shower? No. I mean, and also, like, I've also been ones that are, like, fun. They have a fun theme. And there's, like, good food and drinks. Whatever. That's all you need. I can't relate.

I've never been to anything. No pirate techniques. We're not down with that gender reveal stuff. I watched this video, this, like, TikTok of this woman who's pregnant after I get down this road. She's walking to her car and she has, like, that's got to be fake. I saw that too. I think people are just staging this stuff for, like, TikTok, but what, the kid pops. You're right.

Because who else would have been filming? this and like I've gotten that. She's walking towards the car with the gender reveal. Balloon. Yeah, the gender reveal of balloon and her son just pops it. And she just turns around and walks in the house. And I was looking at it.

Like, this is why I don't have children. Listen, it could have been real. I just assume stuff like that is fake, but also like how funny would it be if she turned a little boy and was like, the only reason you're here is because I had anato with your dad. That was an amazing callback. I can't even imagine like

the self-talk it takes parents to not punt you across the room sometimes. Like I look back, I mean, one of my most favorite episodes, obviously is the episode about moms. I look back and think like the amount of times I was such a little bitch to her that she didn't just hit me in the face. I can't believe it. I can't believe the self-restraint. I know.

My mom lost it, like, twice. Oh, you remember it? It was that bad? Yes, I have a deep memory from like my whole life. But those things, of course I remember them were like, and she kept her calm so much. I was like, you know, it was bad. You know, my mom was like, you need to apologize to your dad. I was like, he used to apologize to me.

Just got on the bus. Was like, bye. Like, my mom just, she put up with a lot. But I do remember one time when she, like, I locked her out of my bedroom after being like really bad. I remember her banging on the door and me being a little bit like, I think I'm about to get beat up. And one time, I just grabbed gum off the sidewalk, a hot wad of gum from wherever and

just put it in my brother's hair. What? I know. Ashley. I, like, the devil. took over. Isn't that insane? Like, I would get these things

of like, I hate him, and then I would just like do something crazy. Do you remember like... And I just went straight to my room and locked the door. Yeah, do you remember those moments? And they were cutting it out of his hair. Like, you knew you would take it too far and she was like, I'm gonna die today.

But I remember this feeling of, I think my parents were like, something's like severely wrong. Like the devil's in her soul. This is why I don't want to go to therapy. No, I'm kidding. Kate said that to me that's me the other day. She was like, you're not going to want Matt to go to therapy because all of his child traumas about you, not his parents.

Literally, that's what she said. I don't think so. Matt and I could not be closer. I'm trying to bring him to the fucking Super Bowl, but I just was jealous. It's just jealous. Like, I didn't want that kid. Why the fuck what I want another kid in this house? So I just tormented him.

I can't imagine what it would have been like if it was a girl. like what you would have been like. Do you think she'd no longer be with us? She would already be in therapy. It's, what are we doing? I don't fucking know. I feel like...

Were you nice to Arlen? I think we bickered normally. There was so much screaming in the house coming from my mom. I don't know that I would have like ever noticed fighting between me in Arlen. Like you remember these two fights, these two times her mom got mad. That was every day of my life. Every day of my life, it was just like, like screaming and fighting every day. I couldn't hone in on one. I remember she always used to say to me,

like, your brother's going to get big one day and he's going to, like, hit you or something. But then he did it. She would like pre-threaten me. But like he did it. And Matt did. Jokes like everybody never got big. Wait, that's so funny. So that's something to all mom say, because my mom said that exact same thing. Oh, he's going to get big and like hate you? Yeah, like you're not going to be bigger than him forever. Uh-huh. She was right. Yeah, she was right. My mom was wrong. Jokes on everybody. My brother's little. Well, Matt and I were home alone one day, that's when he finally snapped, and he threatened me with a fire poker,

and then we weren't allowed to be alone for years after that. What? I don't know about this. Was it hot? No, like, he grabbed something from the fireplace and, like, came at me, and I was screaming. What did you do? And then my mom came home,

and we were both just sitting still on the couch. Like, something went down. Because we would be home for, like, a really short period of time, because my mom was a teacher. So she was home almost after we were. So when we got to a certain age, we took the bus and we were home for like, you know, maybe an hour tops alone. Yeah.

After that, we'd go back to latchkey. I thought I could just bully him forever. And then that was the day it stopped. And you never did it again? I mean, I did do it again, but I don't think I came in him. He finally fought back. Yeah. That's what you have to do in prison.

Like one time I was sitting there, I was playing Donkey Kong on Super Nintendo when he just came up and kicked me in the leg. Just cause. Well, probably from previous. Yeah, pent up anger. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't let him go to therapy. I feel like Arlen and I didn't fight like this. I used to dress him up like a girl a lot. I used to put him my mom's night gowns and like Barrette's and his hair.

And one time I cut his hair. Cut his hair. That's what I knew. I was really, I was got to move out of the house. Cut Arlin's hair. Yeah, I took Cesar's and I gave him out of bad's hair. Yeah. Like, it was terrified.

I was like, I remember I took that first snip and I was like, I don't think I lived here anymore. I was a little bit afraid. I remember our cousins and our, I think Anne's don't know is a bunch of people got snowed in at our house during the blizzard of, I swear to God, like the blizzard of 96. Like, I don't know if you remember that. It was like insane. I wasn't born yet. You weren't born. I mean, I was a baby, honestly. I remember being an infant. And we were like so all out of our minds. We had like one videotape to watch like that we hadn't returned yet. Like it was a crazy time. All these people were in the house. And I remember going, I was like so bored. I went upstairs

with that. And like, that was a time like boys had that like butt cut, you know? Like it was just like split It's down the middle. They had the-tham-sawa. Totally. Amazing reference. And JTT had it for a little bit, too. His was a little longer. And I just was like, I want Matt to have that.

So I just like snipped the front. And he had this like, I want my brother to be hot. No, I just was like, Matt, you got to have this like cool haircut. All the kids in Tiger Beat. All the kids in Ty and Big Bopper. Team Bop. Bob have. And I just like sniffed a giant chunk.

And he came downstairs and he was like, Mom and Dad, look at my new hair. And also we'd been cooped up for like a week in the house. No one had left the house. in like a week and same, I was like, I'm pretty sure I should leave now. It's like moments in your childhood where your stomach drops into your butt and you just, you know that they are going to disown you, you don't live there anymore. Yeah. That is so funny.

But also like how much like our parents like low key, like that's funny? I think about that all the time. You know what I mean? My friends, kids do something like really fucked up. And I'm in my mind, I'm like, don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh. Like they have to do that all day every day. Like, what if a kid just like walked up and kicked your husband? I would laugh so hard, but that's like really bad.

I hope you guys enjoyed that walk down memory lane. Yes, I've loved sharing these stories. Speaking of stories, if you're coming to our Phoenix show this week, Thursday, please send us your stories to Stories at Girls Gotta Eat.com. Roast your friends that you're coming with. Let us know if you're bringing your man, your best friend, funny stuff about them, embarrassing stuff, stuff about you that's crazy and wild. Any single guys coming with you, just let us know.

Again, stories at girls got to eat.com. And then if you're coming to the Florida shows after that, oh my God, We have so much exciting stuff for you guys. So that's Miami, Tampa, and Orlando sent us the same stuff. And then there are some tickets available for those shows still. So you can get those at Girls Gotta Eat.com. Yes. And thank you for coming to Salt Lake City and Denver, of course.

Those shows were absolutely incredible and we can't wait for Phoenix. That one is sold out, but we do have tickets left for the Florida shows. So get on it. If you're in Florida, get a group together. I know you guys like to wait until last minute. Florida people do. I'll see you there. So as we do our five-year anniversary episode,

and we're going to talk about friendship, I'm sure I'm going to get emotional throughout this whole episode, but I'm going to try to, like, reel it in. I just want to acknowledge, like, what an incredible milestone this is and just thank everybody who's really been here for us. I mean, some of these partners that we're talking about today have been with us for so many years. So if you are a partner of the show, thank you.

Everybody who's worked for us over these years, thank you so much every single guest who's been on our show. 172 guests in five years. Jared Freed being our most repeating guys. And then we have Christa Stavidone, Nikki Glazer, and Andrew Colin Tide for three visits to the show. We just have had so many people just support us over the years. And of course, most of all, you guys, thank you for being here and supporting us and loving us and buying taste of the shows and buying the merch and just supporting us over the years. And I always say this is the greatest thing that I've ever created in my life and I get to

create it my best friend. And this is so special. And to do anything for five years is really such a huge, unbelievable accomplishment. And you guys allow us to do it. that and Ashley allows me to do that. And, you know, I just wanted to say thank you to everybody who's allowed this to happen for so many years. So thank you. I've co-sign. I mean, I have been feeling just especially so grateful and proud of the audience that we have. And, you know, Rand and I, we've experienced and we see some other podcast audiences and listenerships that are not great. And we just, it makes a sense. so much more thankful for hours and how wonderful you guys are and like accepting and are here

for all of the different guests and the growth and have been here since day one or since today. You know, we have built this community. It feels like such an honor. The podcast is still growing after all these years. I mean, it really just feels like such a dream and it wouldn't be possible without all of you guys to listen. So this podcast has really just made all my dreams come true. you know, as corny as that sounds, with obviously you and meeting you and all the hard work we put into and everybody that has helped us, you know, this, we couldn't just do this alone. But of course, most of all, like our listeners, it wouldn't be what it is without those of you that listen and come to the shows and support us. And so I'm just so thankful. And you guys are my Valentine's.

I just want to, like, show you like all the love and, you know, just to the haters too. You know, there's no successful brand out there without at least a small army of people that are really elevating the brand by spending so much time and energy talking shit. So it just makes people want to listen more. So shout out to you. Thank you for your service as well. We know you're listening right now. Thank you for the extra listens. But I've said this on the show before. We've said this on the show. Every guest that comes on our show echoes the exact same thing. You have the most incredible audience, the smartest, the smartest, the most interesting, the funniest. And you guys really just are. And to echo what Ashley said, we've gone another podcast and everybody's audience is fine. But like,

I really just think ours is just a notch above. know they're the best. I'm not saying everything of every part of what we do is the best, but that's the best. You guys are the best. Everybody knows it. No contest. Seriously. Yeah. People beg to come on this show because they really want to get in front of you guys. They want you with their audience as well. And it's just been such an honor. You know, we've done 110 live shows. We've been 19 of them coming up this year. We're about to announce 14 more. It's really made all my dreams come true to be able to do this with you guys. And you've really lent us your ears, your lives, your wallets.

You really opened up tests in such a really special way. And I'm just, I'm a hundred times the person I ever would be without you guys. Yeah. If anyone grows and learns a lot in five years, I've learned so much. I've learned so much about myself, so much about relationships. Obviously with, you know, being in this partnership with you, that's like really not only a best friendship, but also a business partnership. Not to mention all the guests we've had on.

I've learned about everything from like attachment theory to texting styles to the way the guys think on a level that we would only be able to do by interviewing these guys at such a deep level that we do. And I've learned so much about myself. And I think we've obviously grown. And if you've been here since the beginning, you know that and you can feel that. And it's just been an absolute dream. Yeah. So thanks to you guys and thanks to Ashley. And everybody who's made this happen. We just love you guys. Thank you for being here. And we hope to be doing this five years from now. We're a 10 year up. It's 10 years. Yeah. Okay. Should we see what people wanted to ask. Yeah, so this was a really fun episode to crowdsource all of your questions,

all of your feedback, your stories. So we asked you guys, do you have any burning questions? Is there anything that you want us to sort of close the loop on in terms of the stories? Okay, so probably, I mean, the number one, well, I don't know, maybe number two was people just want to know about L.A. I think we're both committed to living here past this trial run. Yeah. I am looking for houses to rent, like full, you know, year-long lease, full transparency. I really am so happy here, and I don't see a world in which I go back to New York

and rent a home in New York. I want to go back to New York. I have stuff going on there. We're talking about something else. We have to go back for more frequently. I will always love it, but the lifestyle here, and then obviously in Delaware, that's something that I feel like I'm going to make an effort

to be there more to and be on the East Coast and see my family and my nephew, but I feel like this is where I want to have my next steady home where my stuff is, you know. Yeah. So I didn't tell you, but I talked to my landlord yesterday and I told them I'm going to break my lease in New York. I haven't really talked about this in the park. Maybe I have, but I still do have a place in New York that I haven't given up because I was going to go back. I was going to go back after three months.

And I have been talking about making this permanent. I just, I feel really happy here. I feel really at home here. New York is really, it raised me. It's everything I am. It's my favorite people in the world. but you're a type of people in the world. But I have been touring with staying here.

And I made that phone call to my landlord yesterday. And I told them I was going to break the lease. And they were so nice. And they were just like, just give us enough notice. And then whatever you want, just go ahead and go. And I was like walking to the beach

and I got a little like tiered up. I was like, it really was like it really hit me. This is like real. The thought of like giving up my home that I love so much that I'm so happy about. But I think about going back there and it doesn't excite me. And I feel like for now I want to just try this new adventure. And it was funny because I got so emotional. It like became so real.

being on the phone with her. And she's like, yeah, we love you. You're wonderful. You've done right by us. Whenever you want to go, you can go. And I felt really sad. And then I like walked to the beach and watch the sunset. And I was like, this is where I want to be. And this feels right. And this feels really good. And this really good. I know everybody doesn't, of course, have the means to up and move to another city anytime they want. But I do it this time in my life. And I want to do it and just see where it leads. And you can always go back. So I feel really happy. And I see a future here for now. Yeah. It's just, it's a quality of life that I'm into. I haven't really brought this up. But the way I'm sleeping is like, it feels like I never thought I could be this person. Like I never thought I could just fall asleep

as soon as I get into bed, not toss and turn, sleep through the night, wake up early. Like, it's just that alone is so telling of like my just general level of like happiness, like anxiety, you know, I really want more space. I want more space for a zool. What I want to do on the weekends is go for a hike. I've always said that. I just want to be outside with him and with my friends. I feel like at this point I have more friends here than in New York in the first place. Like, everything just is pointing to here. So I want to like settle here so then I can like plan when I go back to the East Coast and not feel like scattered. Like my stuff's in a storage unit.

Like I have stuff here. I feel really not settled. Yeah. And so I even want to just like move into a place like now. Like fuck the Airbnb. Like Kate and Jay and I walked by this house last night that I contacted them about running. Like I'm ready to do it now and like get my stuff. Yeah.

Or buying stuff. Whatever. I sort of feel the same. I feel like I feel like I'm just like ready to pull the stuff. trigger. We have a lot of shows on the East Coast in May, and so I don't know what I'm going to do necessarily. But this feels like the right thing. I'm ready to have my stuff here. I feel really happy here. The men are so hot here. You guys even asking what dating is like. We'll talk about it. But it just feels like the right move. So I think we're both going to do it. And the podcast will be here

for now. And we have incredible guests all throughout L.A. that we're so excited to record with you some great episodes coming up. So that's probably what the future holds for us. Yeah. L.A. people know. Okay. I like this question. Have your thoughts on monogamy changed? I would say yes. You know, I don't have any experience yet where it's like I was challenged on that. So I guess things could always change when you're in it. Like I haven't been in a relationship where someone has wanted to not be monogamous or something. But like I do feel like I think about things differently from day one to now and could be more open to a non-monogamous relationship or some form of it where I wouldn't have thought that five years ago. Yeah, I agree. I think that non-monogamous, like consensual non-monogamy has become more in vogue and more accepted in the past few years. And it's really important to Ashley and I to always be on the forefront of reading about what are people doing? Why are they doing it? What is the current like psychology say about this? Is this healthy for people? Anything, not just non-monogamy, but anything. And we've been so blessed to have so many people in the show that have explored this with us and talked about their non-monogamous relationships. And of course, Esther Perel changed my life the way I feel about monogamy and cheating and things like that. that. So I don't know. I'm still sort of, I'm in this space now where I don't know that monogamy is the natural state. And I feel like it's probably not. I want it in my personal relationships currently, but I see a world in which that's not the case. So I'm very open about a lot of things since the podcast

started. I just think you and I've been so honored to like see so many different lifestyles and what makes different people happy. If we hadn't started the show together, what do you think you'd be doing now. I don't know. I mean, maybe a podcast with someone else. I knew I was going to do a podcast, you know, before I met you, I already had a plan to do it with somebody else that that kind of like fell through because I think we both, like it was fine. You know, it wasn't like it just was with this guy. So yeah, I mean, I definitely knew that was what I was going to do next, but it would, you know, maybe not have taken off like this. So I don't know. I don't like to think about it. Next question. I don't know what I would be doing.

Right when I met Ashley, you guys know our origin story, we met on the beach in a Rubon and an influencer trip. But right before that trip, I really had just been really restless. I didn't love what I was doing. I thought I might start like a social media agency where I like I did social media. Like I ran other social accounts and did photography for them. But I don't know that that would have been like my world's greatest passion. I just would have been making a dollar.

So I get to do something I'm really passionate about. So I don't know. I don't like to think about it either. Yeah. Are you really buying houses next to each? other in Delaware. I mean, I will buy a house in Delaware. I don't think rain is. It was like kind of a joke. Yeah, maybe for the financial investment, we'll say, but now I was a joke. Can Rainer ride a bike yet? Nope. No, I cannot. Most memorable emails received, I literally don't care about your stupid live

shows. Christmas Day. I'll change our life. What, 2019? No, I mean, there are so many, you know, I still sometimes hate that we have these emails in this folder that I never responded to that were all for me after Dewey died. And I just didn't have the capacity to really get in there. And I said I would one day. And then they just started to pile up. And so those just those are my favorites. They're in this folder. I will look back at them. Occasionally, like people just showed so much support. And I've referenced this now on so many different podcasts and on ours. It wasn't an email, but it was the message about the woman that worked in hospice. And she was like, you guys aren't going to die alone, you know, that whole thing. And then the moms that say that we help them parent their daughters. And we got another one of this woman that was coming to Denver with her daughter and her daughter's two friends. And was like, you're such a strong positive influence in these young girls' lives. And I can't, like, I can't believe we get to get emails like that for work. I know.

So those are my three buckets. Damn it, those are my favorites, too. No, right. I feel like when there's like, you help me suck a dick better or something. I really do. Those are my favorite DMs. The amount of people that tell me, They sucked a dick to completion.

I get so many of these. I just had my first orgasm. I get a lot of those DMs. I just had my first for, I just had like the best first date. I'm really excited. I love when these girls like DM us and say like,

do me advice, so I'm about to go on a first date. All this. We feel the same about all this. I took the more emotional ones right now. It's like the sex ones. They all mean so much. Like it's just so special

that you want to share these moments with us. I like this one, anything you would have done differently. I like to think about life in terms of like, am I happy with where I am now? Yeah, I'm really happy with where I am now. What I've made some different decisions, I guess. But, you know, I feel like I've just learned a lot through this podcast and I've grown. Are there some things I've said in the past that didn't age well?

Probably like everybody else. But I think I've always tried to just become a better person and be more educated and move on from it. But I feel really proud of what we've done. Sure, once in a while there's things I wish I would have done differently. But I think that like at the base of everything that we do is to try to be good people and have an open honest discussion about things and be open to lifestyles and we try to be really good people and that's all you can really try to do. Yeah, I mean, big picture, no. Like I'm right where I need to be, want to be. Yeah, there's stuff I wish I didn't say or do or handle, but it like also is always learning. Like you can't like learn how not to do something unless you kind of did it wrong and fucked up or something. You know what I'm

saying like all the times you're like, I wish I didn't do this like that. You learned something from it. So I don't have like any really big regrets or anything. Of course. I mean, it's, I'm happy. I will say anything that's like been really bad, quote unquote bad that I felt like I would have done differently have been like the biggest learning moments for me. I hated it. I didn't enjoy it in the moment, but I'm a better person now. Yeah. Yeah. Wish we wouldn't have Chelsea Handler on the show. Right. Yeah, I would have done that differently. Yeah.

I mean, people asked about our favorite and least favorite guests. I don't know. I mean, like, I don't need to harp on this, but that was like the probably quote-unquote worst guest experience was just how that went down because it was like someone that I really looked up to and aspired to be that slut shamed us on her show. I mean, we don't need to get into this whole story. If you know, you know, I don't want to talk about stuff that people are like, wait, what?

But we could be here for three hours, like recapping all this stuff. Favorite guest? That's like picking a favorite child. I don't know. Esther Perra. I mean, yeah, Esther Perra. for you. But we put a lot of work and energy into researching our guests. Oh, Jay Shetty. Oh, yeah. That was a big moment.

It was really so great. Yeah. So handsome. I mean, anybody that just has reframed how I thought about anything. I love every therapist that's been on our show. I feel like we've met and become friends a lot of comedians. Yeah. Esther Perel is my favorite. It was like just a goal of mine for so many years. But we put a lot of energy and effort into a lot of the guests, so I've liked a lot of them. Drunkist? Only one guest showed up drunk, and that was Shep. In early days. And I don't fault him. They had like a reunion in New York.

He still recorded with us. He still showed up. And he was coherent enough. But no one's ever been drunk. We were. I was those couple episodes. And that one night that we recorded the beginning of the podcast. Oh,

but we never like started an episode drunk. We would like go drink and sometimes come back. Those early episodes, I don't know. That was like three episodes. I realized that's how I learned out of Lisp. But you're right. Yeah, we would sometimes drink and like do the, Never have I ever games at the end.

Oh, God. It's weird to remember we did that. Okay. People want updates on footjob girl and bunion girl. I thought we had updated about Bunyan Girl. I think that just didn't like go anywhere. Like the guy that was clacking around, she didn't. Like that just was like a person.

That just wasn't fine. Footjob girl, I still keep in touch with. And I think she's coming to Sacramento. She came to San Francisco last year. I think she's in Sacramento this year. Yeah. So we'll see her in a couple weeks. Yeah, we'll let you guys know.

Dallas Business Card guy. talked together day. I think he's going to come to telling this winner. I don't know. Maybe if you come to the Dallas show, we're going to announce a Dallas show for the fall, and I'm sure he'll be there. So if you guys come, he's still in the mix. He's in the mix. Yeah, he's around. People, a couple people asked about the young guy I was with at the beginning of the podcast. We were just having sex. We went on one date and I was like, I never want to go to date with this person again, but I will continue fucking him. And then, you know, just to tie these pieces together. When I talk about this incident where I just got drunk and, like, blew it up, that was him. So,

we were hanging out, sleeping together. The sex was really good. I didn't see it going anywhere. So the sabotaging episode a couple weeks ago, that instance was like when I just acted like a brat and got drunk and like picked a fight and of course apologize the next day and it was out of character for me. But that was just how that ended. Okay. It was short lived. It was fun. I remember him fucking me over my counter in my like first apartment in the trap house and like Dewey like knocked over the coat rack. Doey was like pissed. And Dewey, like, knocked over the coat rack. The coats came flying down.

It was winners. It was like heavy coats. It was the beginning of our friendship. And, like, we just kept on going. I was like, God damn, and Dewey. Because the small apartment. He just didn't know where to go, you know. He was trying to walk out.

He didn't like it. He didn't like it. That was so funny. But anyway. Bagel the dog. I never got them. Guys, but the Instagram account still exists, I think. Somewhere, I don't have the inside.

I don't have the login anymore. Well, this is a change. I mean, Bagel was Bagel the Yorkie. You used to want a Yorkie. And now you want a pug. Yeah, I do. Now I want a pug. Or two pugs.

I like that. Two pug puts. That would be crazy if I started with two dogs. From no dogs to two dogs, that's insane. Go harder, go home. Yeah, so I mean, I would like the idea once I have a home in L.A. of thinking about rescuing a dog. So we'll let you guys know.

Have either you heard up with Jared? No. He is probably the most I get DMs about. Really? My friends. No, people saying, can you hook me up with Jared? Oh, can you hook me up with Jared? And all my friends, constantly, like, peripheral friends, like,

do you think Jared's cute? I think he's cute. Should I slide in there? Can you help me? That's a good call. We, no, neither of us have ever hooked up with him. We think he's great. And we are very happy being platonic friends with him. And like, I've stayed in a condo with Jared, like, for a weekend. Right. So if there's going to happen. Someone's going to happen. It would happen. People still want to know about the guy, Lil Frankie's guy, the guy that I, one of our most iconic investigative, what happened here, stories. Again, it's a long story. I have a video on my Instagram. kind of deeper from what summer of 2021 and where I was crowdworking in the sky. You can watch the video and we went out all night. I have like one photo of him, his arm from Lil Frankie's. So that's like they can't pull anything of who he is from there. But yeah, you just like disappeared. And nothing ever happened. And I think people, it's like people are so invested,

but it's like it's not that weird that you would hook up with somebody and spend a night with them and they would never talk to you again. But I think it's just that we thought he would resurface after talking about him in the show. I went on these guys podcast. My friend Mike Albany they're called sweet buddies. And they all just think he was, like a girlfriend. Like they just were all like, he's seen somebody else,

he cheated on who he's dating with with you, and that's that, you know, and that was kind of their take. And like, of course you're never going to hear from again. Who knows? That's probably at the...

It could be six feet under for all we know. He died. He died. No. Yeah, no update, guys. That story will haunt me forever until the end of time.

People clearly still are haunted by it. And that's also why he's never reached out and that's why he never told any... Like, I feel like everybody we go on dates and tells their co-workers and they, like, went out with us. That's probably why he also

never told anybody. So that's why we didn't hear from any, like, of our listeners. There just was some dishonesty involved and somewhere along the lines. He could have been 18, you know, like, it's just... Secret Service.

Yeah. He haunts my dreams, though. Just shouting out short zipper king. Okay. Sure. I hope he's living well. How does Raina approach security guards? I mean, listen, I feel like

probably people don't approach them that much because, like, they're just like, In the shadows. Like they're like ignored in the corners. Like they're not like front and center. I think they get a kick out of it if you approach them. Because like most people are probably like they just ignore the security guides. They're going to do security work.

You know? And I think they're at work. They're at work. Exactly. I recommend it. Walk up to one. Say hello. Get it popping.

Yeah. Get it popping. Okay. Final one. Would you go back to Paris? You know what? Yes. I would go back to Paris now that we like are better.

traveling, now that I have more money to afford staying in like a cooler place. I didn't know what to do there. I just wasn't living my best life. We didn't plan in our area. Yeah. I would absolutely I'm not going to be like the girl who didn't go to Paris, like Lauren and Conrad. You know what I heard about that? What? That, listen, you know that whole show's fake. That Whitney went there and she just like went to a meeting and came back. She didn't even take an internship there. That all of it was fake. That's all fake. It's really disappointing. Yeah, but she didn't, she didn't take an internship in Paris when you just went for a meeting and flew back. Okay, so those are most of the questions.

We thank you guys for asking them. But I don't know. I think we try to do our best to, like, tie up any loose ends. We never don't tie something up because we don't want to. They're actually bad at it than I know. It's negligence, if anything. We just don't. Well, it's like, sorry, what not negligence.

We just forget. You're better than I am. Ashley actually does, like, make a note all the time to give you guys updates. It's like she keeps me on top of it. I know. I'll be like, Raina, people want to know.

I'll be like, Ashley, the conclusion of the story is embarrassing and that's why I don't want to talk about it. No, I didn't make you talk about something embarrassing, but I'm being...

Like the escort. Well, you brought it up, Raina, and talk about it. It's on the list. We had this escort that we interviewed

during COVID, and he was at my apartment, here she goes. And we never aired the episode because it was kind of boring, but I did suck his dick. You're welcome, everyone.

I bullied her into this. We, talked about this at some live shows. We did have an interview with the male escort. It just wasn't great. Brayden and I gotten a tiff about it. No. This is what I'm

honest about what happened. But what you said, you said, I know you guys have a personal relationship. And he just left my apartment. I just sucked his dick. And you were like, I don't want to air the episode. Well, we just, you hadn't heard it yet and his dick had just been in your mouth. So you

had reason to think it was probably usable. you were drinking and I listened to it sober at home with my parents, not with my parents, but I listened to it after dinner that we had to push back because of the interview. And I was like, this is bad. This is boring. And we can't have this spicy topic with this guy and we can't use it. And I was telling you like, Rayna, I think it's really bad. And you were like, you were like pushing back on it.

And you hadn't heard it yet. And you had just sucked his dick. So it is understandable. And I was like, I know you have a personal relationship. And you were like, Ashley, it's not that I have a person. The podcast comes first, and we were like going back and forth. And then I was like, then listen to it, bitch. And you tell me.

And so you listen to it. And you were like, this is bad. Like, God damn it, Ashley. I was like, this is really bad. I've never listened to an escort make. It sounded so boring. Yeah, it's just, I don't think he was comfortable. Yeah.

In your home with you. I'm kidding. I just, I don't think he was comfortable. I was touching his name. Pumping and full of tequila. I don't think he was comfortable doing the interview. And it didn't turn out. And Raina compensated him.

Yeah, I did. And then he had to leave because he had another appointment. But, no, I thought he had, like, stopped hooking. He didn't charge you. He didn't charge me any money. Listen, honest truth, so we'd been sexting for weeks leading up to it. Leading up to it. Well, we talked about this.

Like, I feel like I'm sorry to anyone who was new here and is like, what are you, what? What is this episode, first of all? This is so convoluted. We did tease this. We talked about you guys. You guys talked about how you liked what NPR and Come. And you were basically leading up to this guest, flirty texting with him. You called him to pre-interview him and then you started like low-key sexting.

And then he came over to your house to record. And then he wasn't really what we thought initially, but I guess the tequila helped. I didn't know what he looked like. I'd only seen him neck down. I wasn't sending photos of his face. And you looked up with him and then you kept in touch after that? We kept sexting after that. After sexting?

Yeah. He sent you a drop box of nudes. He literally did ask me if I wanted a dick pick and I said yes and he sent me 16. I'll never forget it. I was sitting at Ozatar with Tarek. Ashley, my favorite restaurant in New York, I was sitting there with the owner and he sent me 16 nudes. There was a link. Oh my gosh.

So that's the story of the male escort. That's the T. That's the story. That's the hottest to you guys are going to get in this episode. Okay. So we wanted to talk about friendship today, an hour in. You know what I also wanted to say, I've wrote this to my notes. Our most popular episodes overall are the ones that we do solo. And I just think that's also such a compliment. Of course, we have episodes that have been huge with guests. But like if you take ours solo and then take the guest ones, like ours really perform. So that's not me sucking my own dick. It's just saying that like our audience really, loves here what we have to say. And it's a, it's a flattering. It's a compliment. It's not just listening in for like a guest interview. And we really thank you guys for that too. It just, it never really gets old, seeing that like the solo apps really crush. Yeah. So anyway. Yeah. And you know, somebody said to us in a meeting this year, you know, that the podcast is about

dating and relationships. It's really about your friendship and your love for each other. And I just, I loved the way she phrased that to us. And I think that like people do just want friendship content. And as much as romantic relationships are important. And I've had a lot of them. I've lived with three men. I've been really deeply in love with multiple men in my life. But none of those relationships compare to the love I feel for my girlfriends. And I just, I feel like this podcast is a tribute to that, you know, and it's so much about our friendship.

So, yeah, I'm glad that you guys love the ones of just the two of us because that's what I think the show is about. Yeah, I obviously co-sign all of that. I mean, the relationships with your best friends will outlast all of your romantic relationships other than marriage and sometimes even then. So this is something that we also discussed with Jay. I just keep bringing this up. But how important that non-romantic love is and how important these friendships are in your life and how much they really do fill you up, romantic love is bomb. It's like dope as a hell. You get to have sex. You know, you feel different types of like hormones and everything like in your brain and your body. Like I'm not, they're different.

It hits different and it's incredible. And very few things can top that feeling of truly falling in love with a person and having orgasms with them and all the things that really come with it. But the love you have for your friends is just as important, in my opinion. And again, those are the people that are, if you keep those friendships, are going to be there until the very end because relationships come and go. I mean, half of marriage is ended in divorce. I mean, people break up all the time and you don't need to end those relationships with those close. friends. Yeah. Sometimes they do, of course. We have friend breakups and relationships run their course, but like the real deal, long time, forever, friends, they're forever. Yeah. I like the

episodes we've done about making friends in adulthood and you can definitely go back and search those, but I feel like I'm never sort of finished talking about it because I always prioritize friendships, but I don't know that I prioritized female friendship to the length I do today. And so if you're somebody who's like, I don't have a lot of friends today, like it can all. change. You can always meet people. It's a process. You know, like, I remember, like, my most serious relationship, my 20s ending and kind of feeling like, oh, I don't have like a huge, massive group of friends in New York City. And I changed that. So, like, you can always change it. And I think it's a process and it's not a race and you can pace yourself and still make strides

to have more friends in your life. And I had to do that in like my mid to late 20s. We wanted to talk about some green flags. We did a whole episode called Friendship Red Flags. So we just were like, why not spin it and take a more positive note and talk about some relationship green flags? I think people are like, how do I know if this is a person I can be friends with? Because a lot of people obviously can be fun and cool, but not necessarily the best person to have a long-term friendship. But it's also fun to have party friends and social friends and things like that. But when you're talking about someone that you really could be long-term friends with, I think there are some green flags that we wanted to discuss. So one thing that I think about a lot is like how do I feel leading up to and leaving spending time with somebody?

Do I feel a lot of anxiety leading up to the plans? Do I feel like I feel like I feel like judged by somebody, et cetera? And the best feeling for me is when I'm like so excited because like I love sharing everything about my life. I love telling this person everything about my life. And I feel better when I leave the interaction as well. I feel like really like it was a positive thing for me. Yeah. You should leave feeling like your cup is full, not drained and not questioning. everything you said. I mean, we all have like anxieties and people have different levels of like, did I say a weird thing? I mean, I've left dinners with my best friends where I'm like, did I say something? I don't know, talk about money too much or like something, you know, I just,

we all question those things. We all have doubts. But if you really don't feel like that normally with everybody and you feel like that with somebody where you're constantly like, did I fuck up? Did I impress them enough? Like, I don't think that's a great sign. And you again, you should just feel like you feel like fulfilled after spending time with that person. I think it goes out saying you're, you're, you're yourself around them. Like, that's just it. That's, like, number one. Do you feel like you have to be someone else to, like, fit in?

And I think also top of the list is they celebrate your successes. You don't feel like a super sense of, like, competitiveness or that they just don't want the best thing for you. Because you know those little things where someone's like, oh, well, are you sure you want to, you know, like, and they cut you down, like, if you share an accomplishment or something positive in your life. Yeah, I have friends that, like, over the years, I felt like, I felt like, I felt like, can't share this thing with them. And those people have kind of fallen by the wayside,

you know, because I want to be somebody that really celebrates other people's success. And even like, I'm not married, I don't have kids, but if my friends get married and I'm single, I want to be excited for them. I want to really celebrate what other people have and what they're doing even if I don't have those things. And so I ask that somebody do that in reverse for me as well. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes you get jealous and you're like, I want that, you know, and it's hard to see people that are close to you, have things that you want if you so desperately want to have kids and you can't or you be married or the job, things like that. Like, I get it. Those feelings are normal. But there is a point where you have to be like, I love this person.

I'm happy for them. Their success and achievements and happiness doesn't take anything away from mine. And if anything, it can inspire you to have those things for yourself as well. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So just along those lines, you really feel like they genuinely want you to be happy and they do what they say they're going to do. You know, we all bail here and there. people can flake out, but when it's like too consistent, I'm not here for it. And I have to be able to trust you're going to show up for me. Like I would show up for you and really do what you say you're going to do. I don't have any space for it. I have like friends that like I know that we both make like tentative plans of each other. We'll both kind of flake on each other. That's different.

Like if I have like a reservation, I have to know that you're going to show up. If I've included you in a solo plan, I have to know that you're going to be there. And the people that have like really done me dirty. I just, they don't stay my life. And that's it. No hard feelings. You can be included in group plans. Always. You can come to a birthday. party and whatever, I can't have solo plans. You know, that's it. That's it. And that's on them. Right. And I mean, there are some people that like, you know, it is so much easier to bail on a group hang. You know, we've done it. You know, everybody does it. Everybody does it.

So that's not, we're not saying that. But then when you do that over and over and over, you're just a person that never shows up. I'm not, I'm Diane done inviting you. You never show. Yeah, fuck. I feel dumb. I'm playing myself. Right. By just full me once. Right. twice. Can't you get fooled again? I like the idea of like this person tells me the hard truth in a way that doesn't cut me down or make me feel stupid or small. And, you know, I have really like

two best friends in the world. It's you and one other girl. And, you know. One other girl. You're not going to say her name. Raina, that sounds so cryptic. You don't want to say Melanie? No, I don't care. Everybody knows Melanie and Kate. When I think of like my closest friends in the world, Like, you are both, like, the people I come to, and you both tell me hard truth. You tell me them very differently. Like, I like both of your advice because you found them differently. Well, you and I can become, like, an echo chamber of talking shit to each other. And, like, I'll just get going about stuff.

She really, like, just because I feel something doesn't mean she's going to agree with me. And for example, I was, like, really angry about something that happened the other day. And she was just like, I don't think you're correct. And she gave me, like, these reasons for why. And it, like, really calmed me down and really refreely. framed how I felt. And like, she wasn't just going to tell me that I was right because I was hurt or mad or, you know, like, just because I felt those feelings. And it's funny, she said to me after her, she was like, you know, I realized you were just trying to vent. And then I told you you were

wrong. And I was like, no, I appreciate it. Because I would have vented for an hour and been mad. But I think that you kind of like stopped that. But I also thought it was really nice that she like even acknowledged that because it didn't occur to me that she stopped me from venting. But yeah. Well, you know her so well. I think you can read your best friends and know when they just need to vent. And that's something too when someone can read the room and read you. We all, we can't read minds, of course, but where like you wouldn't want her to do that all the time. You don't need someone that's like constantly. Actually, let me play devil's advocate. Actually, let me be a contrary. And that's not her. And I'm not saying that.

But like, that's the thing too of like your friend knowing what you need in the moment. And then sometimes you just have to tell them. And you can gently be like, hey, I actually wasn't looking for that type of feedback. I'm just trying to like talk my shit. I just, I feel really grateful that I've surrounded myself with women in general who will hold a mirror up to my behavior and just, I think I've good behavior. I think a pretty rational person. But like when you're upset, you're upset about something. And I have really wonderful women in my life that will stop and just say like, let's think about this differently before the spirals out of control. And I really appreciate that. And I'm proud of the women in my life. And I think it's what you find yourself talking about too. I mean,

it's funny because there's this thing in Jay Shetty's book, Eight Rules of Love, that it's like, it's high versus low vibrations in like the relationships you have. I mean, this is talking about romantic relationships, but also friendships. This translates and it says low vibration connecting with your partner by gossiping about a friend. Medium. No, I'm saying medium vibration connecting with your partner by sharing to-do list. High vibration connecting with your partner by discovering a shared hobby.

Rain and I do all this shit. I feel like when you're in a friendship or a partnership, you are talking shit, you are sharing your judiless, and you are talking about hobbies. But I think that's important to think about if you're always just gossiping, you're always just kind of having negative shit talk with somebody. I do think it's a healthy part of every relationship is talking shit. But if that's all you're doing and you really aren't talking about like ideas and hobbies and doing other stuff and like sitting around and talking, should just think about it. I think the vibration is important. Like I think that's kind of like a woo-woo way to discuss relationships. I think it's important. Like, are you viving high with somebody? I have a really good friend and she went

through a friend breakup and I know she really struggled with it, but she told me that like every time she would leave a situation with this girl, she realized that like she felt icky and bad because they had spent only the entire interaction just talking poorly about other people. And it's like, yeah, I'll do that. I love to talk shit. If you were ever like, I think we should talk about shit on people, I'd be like, no, we can't. A friend that's like, no, I hate it. I don't like it at all. Maybe you should just lighten up a bit. Nope. I would be so mad. But if you feel like all, like, did was just like dredged negativity. Yes. And I had a friend like that too and I just, I don't miss the friendship because every time I would be like, oh, we just spent hours talking about

how mad we were at everybody. And it made all my other relationships worse because then I was just thinking about how mad I was at everybody all the time. Well, we know this girl and I like her enough. She's like a fringe friend for us. It is constant and there's no positivity to balance it. So it is constant shit talk. And sometimes I want to hear the tea. So I'm in there in a group setting. Like I run into her around town. But I said to you, I was like, it's so daunting because there's no positivity. You know, like, I feel like you and I are highs and low. It's like we're really positive, uplift others, uplift each other, talk about people's accomplishments, all the nice things, like build women up, all this stuff. And then we also are going to talk our shit. So I just,

when there's really no balance and it's like that person is a constant source of nothing nice to say, it's heavy and dark. It is. And it doesn't, it makes the other relationships in my life worse, too, because I've spent all this time talking about those people. Yeah. And you just have to assume if that's what your relationship is with that person, then they're doing it to you, too. A hundred percent. And we wanted to just talk about celebrating our friends' accomplishments, and this isn't like a new concept, but we love it. And we did a little brag box on Instagram, and we're going to read some of these accomplishments. And we'll get to it. But I also saw this thing. This was back in September on Amy Chan's

Instagram. Amy Chan's been. on our show twice. And there's this cake. It's this beautiful cake. That was the photo on Instagram. And it says, rich, independent women. And the caption is normalized hosting career showers. We're familiar with baby and wedding showers,

but there's also other important milestones in a woman's life to be celebrated. I hosted a career shower this weekend to celebrate and she goes on and talk about it. I mean, look at that cake too. I'm like, I love this. Of course, you know, relationships, marriages and babies are all so important.

We just, we're talking about that earlier. But I mean, why not promotion showers or started your own company showers or ran your first marathon showers? Or it doesn't always have to be a shower, like a planned out thing. But like celebratory drinks, like just celebrating in general things other than relationships and babies. And I think that if you're somebody that's like, I want to find ways to strengthen my relationships, the best route to that is to celebrate other people and their accomplishment and just be like, hey, bitch, I'm proud of you. You know? Just that it's bad. It bonds you to another person.

And if you're like, I want to make more friends or I want to, like, strengthen my existing relationships, like, just out of nowhere, just like hype your fucking friends up. Hey, bitch, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you, bitch. I'm proud of you, bitch. But yeah, I think that we do reserve these things for, like, engagements, marriages, and children and all those things are beautiful. But, like, I think we should be hyping other things.

So we asked you guys, and this is Tess's idea. Oh, yeah. to do... A lot of this stuff was Tessa's idea for this episode. Tess is really killing it. Give credit where credits do. So Tessa suggested doing a brag box and we asked you guys to just hype your friends. And we're going to read some. We'll post some. It was really just like an onslaught of so many people.

And really like I was crying, writing these down. Just the amount of people that said like my friends did have their first child or they're a single mother. So many people promotions, starting their own businesses, graduating from their MBA programs, their PhD. just getting a raise, leaving a terrible relationship. Like, you guys just, we're going to read some, like, the... Go off. Rattling them off. I love it. Quitting a toxic job, killing it a new job,

getting into, like, incredible grad programs. Like, you guys just flooded this box, hyping your friends so hard. And I just think female friendship is so elite and so special. And, like, listen, male friendships are fine, but men cannot, men don't develop relationships. So I women do. Well, I was reading this, and I also saw the ladies of 80 for Brady,

on a tour, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, like those are the four, you know. And Jane Fonda, I love Jane Fonda. She was saying that women, and I've read this before, but that women bond face to face and men are side by side. So men are like side by side. They do activities together and they just bond in a different way. Women are like face to face. They just emotionally connect. Like we just want connection so much and we really get that from these type of friendships. Yeah. And I'm, listen, that's not a dog man. I don't think we empower men to have emotional relationships like that. I don't think that we celebrate a man being like, motherfucker, I'm sad.

I mean, this podcast is two women. It's what it is. We love our guy friends. And we love the men that are probably not listening to this episode anymore. But thank you for being here. Are we going to shout some names out? Yeah, let's shout some names out. Okay. Irene said Molly for breaking off an engagement. She knew wasn't right and finishing NP school, nurse practitioner school. I think so. Killer, killer queen. all the nurses. So many nurses. We love you guys. Rachel said Marissa for teaching underprivileged kids using her own money to buy them, books and supplies, being so patient, even with the difficult ones, always making the kids smile and feel safe, even when their home life may not be the best.

Marissa. Really crying. It's really making a difference in the world. Okay, Jessica said, Amber is a therapist. Sorry, we laughed at this earlier because Raina's. Okay, Jessica said, Amber is a therapist, personal trainer and a dog trainer, literally killing it. I was like, Amber has three jobs. Ever has so many jobs. Personal trainer and dog trainer, I love. Sarah said her friend Jericho for helping people on their final days and making them feel a bit brighter. So I think he's probably like hospice.

Bridget said Kendall for surviving NYC on her own for 13 years and working on her PhD like a boss bitch. Haley said Julia for being a finance girl boss in an industry dominated by men. I think that we should like celebrate women that are just like willing to like do stuff like that because it's tough. Nicole said Bree is the first. female pilot at Top Gun. We had to Google. We had to Google out. I just thought of a movie.

It sounds incredible. And then same, Talia said, my bestie Gabby landed a job with Formula One and got promoted in one year. So we love to see this. I love to see it.

Margie said, Alexis made it to the NBA dance team after years of auditioning and not giving up. And I just like love hyping that she just like went back for it. Alex said, shout out to Rachel

for her first 69 experience. Go off, queen. We had a lot of really beautiful submissions about friends surviving cancer. So I just want to say, Kate, let's say, Jess, beat thyroid cancer last year and Adriana to Liz. I feel emotional about this.

Just had a double mastectomy and beat cancer at 33. So I just, I loved all these so much. Oh my gosh. Chris said Jess hasn't let being single stop her from buying a condo and going on all the vacations. I love you, Jess. And Libby said, Mary, if you're killing at work, freezing her eggs, take the pressure off,

and then meeting Mr. Wright at 39. Staff said, my BFF Alex is a volunteer firewoman who was just elected captain of the firehouse. I love that. The firehouse. But these are just really, you guys stormed the question box and really hyped your friends and it was beautiful to see. And a lot of these did include marriage and kids, of course, but so many of these just included really hyping your friends for other personal accomplishments. And I thought it was really beautiful. So thank you for submitting these.

Yeah. I love you guys. We're just going to end with some friendship meet cute. Also, Tessa's idea and just how people met their friends. And we've done episodes on making friends and meeting friends. We can always do a reboot. We know that it's important to you guys. I mean, I met a new friend recently. I think we like exchanged numbers within like five minutes of chatting. Like I don't be afraid to like be like, we should hang out. Like I feel like in LA especially too. It's like we should go on a hike. I think there's so much stuff you can like suggest doing and just the same with meeting romantic partners, putting yourself in situations where there's a shared hobby or common interest. I think it's so good for making friends and you're in the same place in life.

And again, I just think we all want connection. We all want friends. and don't be afraid to be like, hey, what's your number? Want to hang out sometime? And if you might get rejected and it really hurts, but what's the alternative, you know? I'm smiling because, like, so much of the advice about making friends is the same advice you get about dating. And it's just like you've got to put yourself out there. It is a little awkward sometimes, but it is a means to an end.

And yeah, you have to go out sometimes if you don't want to and you have to agree to plans and you have to ask people to do stuff. And it's not always the most comfortable. But, like, it's such a nice thing when it works out. And I feel like I've just been trying to do that a lot more, too, since we've been here. So it's been really nice. So yeah, we asked you guys how you met your friends and some meet-cutes. This just really made me laugh.

It was a funny high school one. The day we met is different depending on who you ask. I was already sitting behind her in science class for a full two to three weeks and talking to her every day. So my version of the story is the day that we met that first day of the new semester. Her version of the story is that we actually met the day I got my braces off. I came into class late and a few of the other girls in our class were saying, oh my God, Claire got her braces on. She looks so good.

And my best friend, like the unobservant girl she is, goes, who the hell is Chloe? And my lap partner had to break in and say, she's a girl who sits behind you who you've been talking to you the entire semester. It sounds bad, but we always joke now that she noticed me once I finally had a bit of a glow up. Got my brazen. That is so funny. She even talking to her every day the whole semester. Her friend was a fuck boy. Yeah.

That is kind of fucked up. I love it. Okay. This one's puppy related. She says, I've been searching for a puppy to adopt for weeks. And I finally came across this teeny tiny little one from a Tijuana rescue that was being fostered in San Diego County. I went to meet him and found love. The foster parent said that his brother was just adopted by a girl that looks to be my age and lives about 15 minutes away from me.

She asked if I could share my contact information with her so that the boys could stay in touch. Oh, this is my dream that Azul could connect with Verde. Of course, my answer was fuck yes. I picked my pup up about a week later and a couple weeks after that, the girl that adopted his brother reached out to me. I have a small yard so I invited her and her fur baby to my house for a play date. when she arrived at my place, the first words out of her mouth were, holy shit, you're my yoga instructor. Aw, such a small world.

I recognized her and we became fast friends, and now our pups get to maintain their brotherly antics. What a dream. Isn't it so cute? I love that. I was thinking about some of my meet cutts and my friend Alexis, we met at the dog park. I've talked about this before, but just like,

and we hung out that night. I'll move quick if I like somebody. Like, I'll be like, want to go to party with me tonight? She's like, okay. Why not? Yeah, I totally agree. Okay, this girl said I was drunk on a famous street in Austin, Texas, decided hula hooping at a popular bar was a good idea.

To make a long story short, I was attempting to hula hoop on my arm when suddenly the hoop went flying across the bar and apparently smacked a girl directly in her face. I wasn't aware where the hoop went. That is until the girl came storming up to my face. She firmly explained how I had hit her, but she laughed about it. I explained that I had no idea that it happened.

After a sincere apology, we ended up chatting about our mutualities, such as living in Florida, our love for country music and sports, we ended up exchanging numbers and took a selfie to remember each other. Here we are now a few months later. We've gotten a concerts together, brunches, bar crawls, and more. She remains in my phone is Megan Hula Hoop, and I don't plan to ever change it. I love that. Okay, I'm going to do one more. A few years ago, I moved to a small mountain town in Colorado and didn't know a single soul in the entire county. It's a ski resort communities. There are lots of transient people here, and it's hard to find your squad. A few months after moving there, and I still didn't have any friends. I got invited to a Friendsgiving that

was hosted at a ski resort. I forced myself to go, even though I would only know the host, who would be busy hosting 30 other people. Good for you. It's my worst nightmare. It really gives people a lot of anxiety and it's scary and she did it. Then I saw a girl walk up carrying a gallon milk jug filled with clear liquid on the bottle, bold and sharpie, and in all caps, it read not water. Did this bitch really just roll up with a milk jug of vodka? I had to approach. Soon after I learned, she had just moved here to almost knew nobody and she said, we should be friends. I took her word for it. But then she just left. Disappeared into the night. Oh, my God.

We hadn't exchanged numbers. I only knew her first name. So what did I do? I stalk the Facebook event page until I found her Facebook messenger and the next week we had coffee. And now it's been five years of friendship. Oh, nice. You know, that's how Matt got to Stephanie in the Facebook messages. I mean, she came into the bar, but those Facebook messages back in the day used to slap.

That's how you would get to people. I just, this girl is the bravest bitch out there, okay? going to a party with 30 people, you don't know anybody, they all know each other, and then just being like searching a Facebook thing to find her. She's so brave. Well, and that's the thing, too. Like, don't be scared to follow up via social media. Like, we've always said that too.

I feel like now, like, you know, Facebook's a little dated. But the DMs, like, you meet someone at a party. Like, if I meet someone at a party, I'm usually just getting their handle. Sometimes phone number. Like, sometimes we really just go for it. But, like, you can just get their handle. Let me follow you. like these things just aren't weird.

No, I don't think it's weird anymore, especially with friendship. I mean, everybody wants good wrecks of, like, do things to do in their cities, or, like, you know this thing that I like and we have something in common. Like, I remember when we met Grace Atwood. And years ago, she's a foreign guest on the podcast. And she told me she was really into art, and I didn't have anybody to go to art shows with. And I just, like, took a chance. I was like, do you want to go to this art festival with me?

Well, that's a great example because, you know, woman on woman, you might have a lot more common interest. And so you might be like, oh, you mentioned that yoga. Oh, you mentioned. that smoothie place or you mentioned coffee or you're both vegans. You mentioned that restaurant. Like it's so easy to kind of follow up and then be like you want to go together. I think like a workout class is great because the stakes are really low. Like you can go take the workout and leave or you could like hang out afterwards. You can get a smoothie. Go get a drink. Like whatever. Like these things just, they aren't weird and someone might not like you and think you're

annoying or just be all full on friends or going through a hard time in their life and not want to deal with it and you could feel rejected. But chances are probably not. I think most people want to make friends. Yeah, yeah. I, like, I'm chock full of them and I still want to make more. I know. That's what I'm saying. I always say I'm full. No new friends than I make new friends. You do. And then you make a lot of new friends. You say it's what you're best at. That's the friendship podcast now. This is the friendship podcast now. Well, should we wrap up? Yeah. Thanks for being here, guys, all this time. Thank you guys so much. We just, we love you. It's really an honor to do this for you for five years. The show has just been through so much.

We've been through so much. And you guys have come for the ride. So thank you. It means everything in the world. It's the most important thing I'll ever do with my life. It is. What if you get married? Anybody can get married. Try to start a podcast and keep it going for five years.

I dare you? Married next week. Go on the street and get married if I feel like it. I'm not terrible. All right. Well, again, Raina, I echo what she said. Thank you guys. We love you.

Thank you for five years. And being supporting us, being here with a Zol. and you know what to do. Girls Gotta eat.com. We will see you out on the tour. Girls Got Eat Podcast and Instagram. TikTok, which I haven't plugged in a while, but has been blowing up thanks to Raina's text exchange.

It has 3 million plus views. But we are Girls Got to Eat podcast on TikTok and Vibesonly.com, vibes only on Instagram. Our personal handles Ash Hess, ranja, dot Greenberg. You guys know all this by now if you've been here. and we will see you next week. Happy Galentine's Day, guys. Have a great week.

Bye.