Girls Gotta Eat - The Real Sex and the City with Candace Bushnell

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

Grab your Cosmos, we have the woman responsible for Sex and the City, the real-life Carrie Bradshaw – Candace Bushnell! Candace joins us to talk about the show that became the voice of many generations, forging her own path as a successful woman (when it was much harder to do so), the real story behind Mr. Big, how she met her former husband and why they got married so quickly, why girlfriends are so important, dating men from ages 21-91, her feelings on And Just Like That, and more. Before Candace joins us, we talk about Rayna's upcoming date with DBCG (if you know you know), Ashley's bf meeting the fam, and a secret Rayna thought Ashley kept from her. Enjoy! Follow Candace on Instagram @candacebushnell, and find more at her website (including info on her one-woman show). Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/gge. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at nutrafol.com when you use promo code GGE. MudWTR: Get 15% off your MUD\WTR order at mudwtr.com/gge and use code GGE at checkout. Hello Fresh: Get 50% off plus free shipping at hellofresh.com/gge50 and use code GGE50. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And there was really a feeling of empowerment. And that was something that you see in the first two seasons of sex in the city. You see this women like, you know, they don't really care. They are out there. They're a team. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Last day of cancer season.

The month. I thought we were talking. What a month. You've had a month. You've done so much. It's been a whirlwind, July. It's been a month. And we just cleared up something pretty important.

Rana thought I didn't tell her something because I was trying to spare her feelings. For two months, I thought that you were keeping the secret to make sure that, like, it just didn't hurt my feelings. I was into somebody, and I thought he may have hooked up with a guy. And I thought that you knew. And I thought you were trying to spare my feelings. I say this with so much love. I'm never intentionally trying to hear your feelings. I want to protect you.

You're my best friend. You're a family. I love you. If I knew that, I would have been at your door. 6 a.m. Buzz, buzz. Time to get over this guy.

I would have been there to console you. But I would have been busting in, like, the Kool-Aid man to share this. Your feelings wouldn't have been a concern. With a half months, I've been like, she knows, and it's this like unspoken thing

that she's like, I haven't. asked and so she hasn't offered the information. I feel like that you don't know me at all. And I wouldn't have been excited to share it, but it would have had to happen immediately. There wouldn't have been a, maybe she'll be upset. It would have been need to know info. This thing has been hanging over me for months for 10 weeks.

I've been like, maybe she knows. You're insane. I'm glad we cleared this up. So she thought a guy that she was into hooked up with my guy friend. Who is gay? Well, they stayed out all night. They stayed out all night. Listen, it could have happened, but I don't know about it. I actually would have loved it. I would have loved it, too. It would have freed me from a lot of anxiety.

From this prison he's been in. No, you're over it. You have a date tonight. We're going to talk about it. Yeah, I do. And I went out with this other guy last this whole whole thing. Okay. I sound a little boy crazy, but listen, Ashley has a boyfriend and I got to get some stuff in the mix. What's going on with you today? You don't sell. Boy crazy?

Two days? You're in love with one guy. And I was like, so on the other guy too last week. Probably not a date. Probably not. Probably not. No, the real dates tonight. It's National Orgasm Day. Oh yeah. July 31st. And we have a special little treat to give you while you're giving yourself some treats today. Yes. We have the threesome bundle, which is all of our OG vibes only vibrators, the Ashley, the Raina and the Gigi, usually priced at $300. $200, $2.99. But you can get them all for two, four. So you can get all three for under 250 bucks today only. Check our Instagram, vibes only.com. And that's your little treat. That's really the ultimate way to give yourself an orgasm as we round out July. So happy National Orgasm Day. And we have Candace Bushnell on the show today who truly we feel like is responsible for our whole careers, our whole lives. She is the original Carrie Bradshaw, the creator of sex in the city. And I don't know if a lot of people really know that. You know what I mean? Like they know the name. They're like, yeah, an author, whatever. But she truly is responsible for it. I feel that she is responsible the fact that you and I get to sit here and talk about vibrators. Seriously.

It's like normalized for women like you and I to talk about this stuff. Right. Like it would happen eventually. But like that show, you know, we talk about this in the interview. I watched it in college. You probably watched around the same time. Like it just changed my life forever. And, you know, it continues to be so wonderful.

And we talked about and just like that, which I will say, we've shared our feelings on it. I've liked the last two episodes more. Okay. So there was just a couple in a row that I was like, VOM. And now I'm liking it a little bit more. So anyway, credit or credits do? Yeah, and hope you guys enjoy the interview. To, like, go back to what you're saying about the vibrators.

So every vibrator we have is for like a different vibe for every vibe we have. So we have like the partner tool, which is the Gigi. You can like wear it your panties on a date. And we have the Ashley Wand, which I like is a solo toy or to put on a show. Yeah. And then there's the Raina, which to me is like, listen, any vibrator can be a shared vibrator if you want it to be. But the Raina to me, because as the Clit Sucker, is really like a special night at home solo kind of toy for me. Yeah.

And it's just so intense. I don't need to involve another person in this experience. Yeah. So our friend, I sent her a Raina and her and her boyfriend are like so into like the blowjail, the loom. They love all the stuff. But she said that they were like hooking up the other night and he was like, do the rena and the bedside table? And she was like, don't call it that. Don't ever say that to me.

It's so funny. It just really made me laugh because it's like, yeah, if it was one of my really good good friends. I wouldn't want to hear their name while I was like close to O. Well, also, here's how you cheat the system of our company. You could buy. You could get the package you could just gift two of them. Keep them in the bank till Christmas. Whatever. I'm just kidding. You're going to want the new shit we have for Christmas. We were on a call today. We have so much new fun stuff coming, including a new color, very Barbie-esque in one of our most popular toys. So we just have a lot coming. But yeah, I mean, I think it's like grab these at a heavy discount and save one.

Give the other two, save all three. Give one to your mom, your boyfriend, your cousin. And last thing I'll say about vibes only is we have an app that connects to all the toys. And we do have a free trial. If you want to just get in there and check it out, it has erotic audio content. It has great how two videos for how to suck a dick better or finger better or use toys in the bedroom with your partner. We have a remote control. That is free always with any toy that you buy.

And you can control your partner's toy with a subscription. But get into the app, free trial, vibes only. And it's really fun to play around with. Yeah. Okay. Okay, let's talk about your date. Okay. So it's tonight.

As we're speaking, I'm in Italy, obviously. If you guys have been following along. But I have a date tonight with Dallas Business Card Guy. Bup, bra, bra, bra, bra. Do we like short out in this? No, I am so excited. I have been pushing for this. If you've been around, you know Dallas Business Card guy, met him at a show.

I met my boyfriend at a show. We literally only meet people we date at shows. Yeah, I mean, my relationship is a result of this show. Yeah, my relationship. I want yours to be two is my point. I absolutely, all my relationships are a result to this show, honestly. And so he's here for a while for a couple weeks. And I'm going to plan tonight.

So I was thinking the proper, which is a hotel in Santa Monica, there's a great rooftop bar or alifante, which is a restaurant down the street, an indoor, outdoor kind of bar situation. Both have dinner. So I was trying to decide which I want to do first, bar first or dinner first. You're going to do both.

Maybe. what do you think? That was tough. I don't necessarily need to have a whole night out. I might just want to have like a couple drinks and a snack. He was like, I want to get dinner. I know. I've answered. I don't want to do that. I've answered. It's going to be Elefonte. It's just a better vibe for someone visiting out of town. You have the view. When we went there for the fourth, which they had an amazing party on the fourth. That's where we saw Ariana Maddox that I don't remember if we talked about us in the podcast. All those people were there from Vanderpump. Katie Maloney and all those people. Yeah. So I remember like, like, sending a photo to my boyfriend. I don't want to just keep saying that word. And he was like, that looks like so dope. You know, like, that's not the same vibe as the proper. I love the proper. But like, we had a view. It's just a better vibe. And I think for a dude, too. Great. You know, like, dudes are just a little less bougie. They don't appreciate that hotel experience as much. Like, I just think Elefonte is going to be the move. So I was wondering, like, should you Elefonte? And so I think if that's great and we like everything that we can go to a rooftop bar at a hotel.

But also, I'm concerned about which one of those is going to be more empty. And I think it'll be the proper. So like, I'm not trying to go to a date at a bar that's like an empty space. I want like a huge vibe. I feel like Elfonte is always popping off. I was there after a comedy show on a Tuesday and I was there at close and there were still plenty of people. It was still a vibe. They own places in New York as well. So it's a bigger restaurant group. Would you guys ever come here? Wish you were here. Hospitality. But it is all our favorite places. So it's Ruby's in New York, which... Great brunch spot for your eyes. We've had like, I feel like important meetings there. Dudley's. Okay. You guys always want Rex. Those are great brunch spots in New York. They're Elefonte

here and then there's other place too. Bell's Beach House and Evely, which for dinner in West Hollywood. Evely is like my go-to spot in West Hollywood. I love it. I can always get in. The hostess there knows the show and she's so great, but usually just there are tables and like you can sit at the bar. I went there on a date recently and that's like the place that I chose to go. And it was just always a vibe the back. What are we doing here? I don't know. People. People are, go on, like, Rex from where to go. And I also was wondering, like, just vibe. Like, I can't decide if I want to, like, go out to dinner first or go to a bar first.

But I'm going dinner, then bar if I feel like going to the bar. But maybe I'll just feel like coming back here. Because I'm done waiting for this. Okay? I'm ready to get it popping. Get it up. Popping. It's on a popping.

I can't wait. Someone's going to pop. Fucking better. His knee. No, he's not, like, old or anything. That would be me. My knee is fucked up. We were talking about our knees and how they're getting old yesterday.

Did we read this in the podcast? The embarrassing sex stuff episode. Did that one girl say she coughs when she gets on top because her knee pops? Her knee clicks. Mine clicks. Yeah, anyway, I'm going to get it worked out. I'm going back to hand in orthopedics and figure out what the fuck is going on in here. It looks great.

It looks great. I'm picking out what you put. It doesn't look good. Speaking of your relationship, do you want to talk about what you do this weekend? Yes, so this weekend, I guess like it would be two weekends. go now. But I did go to Delaware and went to Dewey Beach and my man came and he met the family, met my parents, my brother, Steph, Jay, and Corey, who was like my best childhood friend and he was still best friend. But Corey and her husband and then are friendly and Laura actually. So he meant

that whole group of those three girls and then Corey's husband Ham. And it was so sad you weren't there because they're like your friends too. But we're all going in August. So. I would be shitting my pants if I was him. I told you the first time I went to Dewey and I had to like meet the whole family. It's just like somebody means a lot to you. You're like, I want to read it to like me. I would be shitting my pants. He did great.

If he was like nervous, I couldn't tell. You know, I picked him up at the airport and the Xtera. Did you have sex in the Xera? No, we didn't have sex. We're both tall. Like we were kind of talking about the car sex thing and we were like, I don't know. It's for little people. Not for us.

Yeah, okay. But like what I would never do ever would be like set up some giant like dinner with everybody or something. Like he met everybody in increments like over three days, right? Like it was just kind of like we stopped at my parents' house. He met them briefly, walked around the farm, saw my dad's auto body shop. He was like, whoa, because he's like a car guy. Is your dad riding the big boy around? No, I did. I have actually so bummed that when we pulled up my dad wasn't on the big boy. So Lee has this like, what is it? Like a tractor. A lawnmower that he rides. He has tractors and stuff too. But this is his heavy duty lawnmower. And he's always just like somehow just right in the

front, just popping wheelies, figure eights with a hat on. Yeah. Like every time Raina's like pulled up to the farm, he's like doing donuts in the front yard. Just to impress me. Yeah. So he met my dad, met my mom. He thinks my mom was so funny like without trying to be. He's like, sure, personally. He's just like so funny.

And then we had down to the beach, we stopped at Matt's and, you know, saw Jay. And then went out that night with Matt's friends and went to see the warped tour cover band at the cork, which was incredible. That emo band made me like, oh, I want to go so bad. I was so obsessed. Like they did two opening bands, a Blink 182 cover band and a Green Day cover band. and then they had the Warp Tour band, and they did everything, you know, like yellow card and blink, and it was so fun. And so we had such a good time. And then the next day, he met Corey and everybody really just loved him. Like, everybody just thinks he's like chill and laid back and like easy to be

around and fun to talk to. And it went great. I knew that he would love Dewey and like understand why I love it so much, why everybody loves it so much. And it is my favorite place on earth. Like, there was no doubt my mind that he wouldn't love it, but just seeing just how much he like gets it. And also being with me and Matt, like, it's a different experience. You know, we go to brunch at Starboard on Sunday. Like, we can't even get five minutes without people stopping by the table. Matt used to work there forever. He's still moonlight sometimes. But, you know, everybody's stopping by. It just feels like such a family, like, small town. Everybody knows each other vibe. It was so great. We got to go into Rojoboth and, like, walk around there. And I just feel like, it's just like this

place that I love so much. And I'm so glad that I got to like bring you there and now you go every summer at least once. But just to have like my partner really see it and like walk holding hands down the avenue and go to dinner and drinks and be on the water. It's just so nice. It's like an experience that I haven't had in like a while and I'm with somebody now that's like so much better for me. And it was just so great. And I have to tell you, we'd stayed in this motel and I would be so clear that it's a motel. And like Dewey doesn't have nice hotels as it is. We're Hobbes doesn't even really. Like it's just not that kind of vibe. But Dewey, there's like none. Like the Hyatt place is like kind of nice. But there's no sort of luxury about it.

So whatever. Like we'll do Airbnbs. We'll rent like nice condos and houses. We're doing a house in August, whatever. But this got planned kind of last minute. So I just kind of took what I could get. And we stayed at the Bay Resort Motel. I mean, what a different vibe from Cabo. I was like, we are coming off. We can make it here. We can make it anywhere. Like coming off of this villa, mansion, and cabo to this motel, it had a kitchenette. Stefan made us this gift bag of food and he goes, let's put the food in the kitchen. Like it was in the state. Like we shared like a shitty little kitchenette. We shared the tiniest bathroom. I was like, we're not hooking up in that shower. He was like, no, no, I know.

Like it was so tiny. It wasn't gross. It was just old and like kind of beat up. And it's not like a fancy place. Our balcony overlooked the bay, which was nice. But we were just like, we have really. really, from grace,

you know, of where we stayed in New York and all this stuff. And to be in this motel and then have our first sharing a tiny bathroom experience. Oh, how was that?

That's fine. Was there a lobby bathroom? No. There's no lobby. There's no lobby. Have you been? We're in a chuteeats. Be honest.

He probably listens. You don't want to talk about it. We talked about it a little bit. I'm not a person that wants to talk about like pooping, farting, in a relationship. I don't do that.

Absolutely not. I don't think it's cute. And if you do, I think that's great also. I don't. I don't want to do it. It's not for me. Great.

Do you? I have no judgment. I think that some couples are into that and it's fine. It's not for me. But we kind of talked about it and I had like said. I was like, I already did. And he was like, what? I was like, what are you talking about?

And I was like, you don't know how to take a shit with someone in the... I don't. You go before the shower. You just run the shower and go. You can hear it over the... No, you can't hear it over the shower, Raina. And then another thing I did little... You don't know about how I poop.

You don't stay in a... What are you doing? You're just like gunshot diarrhea in there. Frana, come on. The Greenberg shot up big loads in the morning, okay? And that's just how we are. Like, it's not the, the fear is there. Okay. Do you just fart a bunch? Like a big load doesn't have to be loud. It's, the plop is not going to be. Listen, I am a, I poop every day. Poop as soon as I get up, then I'm at coffee, then I poop again. Sometimes it's loud. Okay. I mean, listen, a shower is loud. You can also run a faucet. You can do the fan. Also, people know that I don't shower that much more we're going to turn the shower

every morning. You actually don't ever get in the shower. That'd be so funny. I actually had an ex would do that. He would go into the bathroom, turn on the shower and not shower. He would just poop and he would walk out. I'm like, what did you do? He's in the same clothes.

There's no plausible deniability with me. Sometimes once in bloom and I can make it up and be like, you know, I just sat down. I was just enjoying the steam and I just changed my mind. That is hysterical. But like if I turn on the shower, then I'm committed to showering, which I'd never want to do. Okay. I got to say, I'm having a lot of sex. showering more.

That's true. Like in Cabo and it. There's just more, at least two a day. You're just like, fucking, you're sweaty. Yeah. Okay, fluid. And then I did something else risky. Packed night at the starboard

Saturday. What did you do? I dropped a dues in the starboard. What? In like the secret private bathroom? I'm not going to tell you where it is, but there is a secret bathroom that we know about. It's always less of a line.

A couple people know about it. It's still visible. There was one girl in front of me, But then as I waited, more people came behind me and I was like, I'm just going to do it. Like, if I'm in there. That door flings open. The whole bar can see you. That's not it.

It was just that like, I'm only one person and I'm in there. If I am in there really long, it smells like, they know it's me. And I was like, I'm going for it. And it was quick, in and out. Saturday night poop at a bar. That's luxurious. I hope he's not listening. I just went back out and grind it on the floor together after you just like dump some stuff out.

I mean, I got my poops in. It really wasn't an issue. So I feel like we've crossed this hurdle as a couple. That's amazing. We can share a tiny bathroom. And you know what I don't like, I just feel like dudes, they got to get in and out of the shower, in the bathroom. What are you doing in there?

Have you ever been with somebody that just takes too long? It's like, what are you doing in there? Shitting. I guess so. I guess that's the whole thing. Right, because guys take such long shit. In March, when I was in Miami with my ex, he just got up every morning like 8 a.m.

And I was like, I know what you're doing. No one's showering at 8 a.m. Let's have sex. Get back in the bed. Yeah, I guess I don't take that long to poop. Yeah, it's an emergency in the morning when I wake up. It's just one quick shot. I'm done. Okay. Well, I will say that I feel like at the beginning of this relationship, I was like such a bad bitch. I was like, I'll do long distance forever. Whatever, it'll be great. Now I'm like, no. At the beginning two months ago. You were like, you really wore me down. It's been 10 weeks. No, like when this started, I was just like, this is fine. I can do this. And now, yeah, two months in, we're serious. And I don't love this. I miss this person. You know, I don't want to do this forever. So what? whatever. I'm just like, it does change. You're like, this is fine. Like, this will be great. You know, we'll travel and we'll have the, you know, distance makes the heart grow fonder. And then you, like, really get into it. And it's just like, oh, no, I miss him. This sucks.

I'm not the bad bitch I thought I was. Listen, I'm the queen of launches relationship with that down a ton of them. When you really love somebody, you just, like, miss them so much. Like, my ex that lived in L.A. and I lived in New York, like, when I wouldn't see him for more than, like, 10 days, I was like, I'm going to die. Like, used to the level of sex that you're having and intimacy and like to have it and have it taken away. Have it and have it taken away. Of course there's great things about it. Like absence makes the heart growth fonder.

But you sort of switch back and forth between your identities. You're like, I'm this person with a partner. No, I'm not. This person has to consider somebody else all the time. No, I don't. Yeah. And it's hard to sort of weave in and out of the two all the time. It is an interesting dynamic.

Like I was saying to him, I'm like, you know, we've always only spent the night together ever. There's no like go in a date, go home to your own bed. You know, like it's not a hot take. But I haven't done. this in such a long time. You have, but I haven't. And it's going great, but this will be the longest that I won't see and this would be one full month, which was just kind of hard to digest. Like, it was two weeks and it was two weeks before that and then it was three weeks. Like it's been like a

three week, two and a half week max and like a month is just, month is long. It sucks. Yes. It sucks and it's really hard. We want to do a long-distance relationship. We'll do a whole one. But I made some rash decisions two years ago in August because I just missed my ex so much. I was like, you should move in with me. That is not what I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to say, like, I just up on a whim, flew across the country, which also was fine to do, which is, we're both super busy over the next month anyway, but I did not know you were going to go there.

Yeah, exactly. Two years ago, August, on the heels of a dewey trip, I was just like, you should move in with me, just do it. And it didn't really work out very well. Yeah. He did move in with me for a little bit. But, yeah, I mean, you just miss the person so much, and it's the most all or nothing thing because you are so entangled for, like, multiple.

multiple days in a row and it's just like, I wake up with you, I go to sleep with you, I wake up with you, I go to sleep with you, like every second of the day is with that person. It's fun. It's nice. And then it's just all taken away. Again, I have not done this with the type of relationship that this is. You know what I mean? Like, it's serious, you know, whatever. So that is the craziest part. It is all and nothing. And we're FaceTiming. We do all the things. We talk nonstop. But like, like, it is kind of crazy. You're just like wrapped around this person for two to four days. And then it's like, bye. And you're like, oh, it's like withdrawal. You, we're. weirdly get closer and like weirdly more intimate with somebody than if it was just like,

I see them three days a week. Listen, I like in-person relationships too. They're great. But long-distance relationships, you have to like work harder to communicate and I find that those communications are so deep. Like, you're on the phone for hours with somebody and you can't have sex or take pauses or watch TV or one person's in the other room. Like, you are fully engaged with another person for an hour plus every day. And how many of us ever get that? And then for long periods of time, like never get one second away from each other. So for like four days, you're just engulfed with each other. It does weirdly like speed up a relationship because it's like extreme amounts of intimacy.

Yeah, all of it's extreme. Extreme when you're together and extreme like missing each other when you're apart, like all that kind of stuff. Yeah, so it drives you to do crazy stuff. Like me like, you just move out. We should move together. I was like, I don't know, Raina. You're like, it'll be fine.

I'm not like you. I'll be fine. No shade to him. I'm uptight. He was there for like one week and I was like, I don't know. how his ex dealt with this. And you were like, your boyfriend? You don't know how his ex dealt with your boyfriend?

That conversation took a minute to really set in how fucking hysterical that was. Not to me. I was like, am I really complaining about this? Honestly, just so you know, I fought tooth and nail every day that week to not bring it up. Day seven, I was vomiting up the information. I took a whole week to be like, don't say it, don't say it, how annoyed you are. It'll go away. So I don't know how it's ex-ed out with this.

You're her boyfriend, you mean? She divorced him. That's what you should have out with it. Well, speaking of me being uptight, I had a house guest this weekend. I want a smaller house. I would like a bedroom and nothing else. I think I'm going to turn my bedrooms into like an office. I'm going to get rid of the extra bed.

What? Nobody can stay with me. My dad was here this weekend. It was really special to me that he came out because my dad is 76. It's harder to travel. and there's no direct flights from Pittsburgh. So he had to really travel all day to get here. And it was just really nice to spend the weekend with him.

I knew you weren't going to be here. So it was nice for me because I knew I wasn't going to have FOMO of like other stuff going on. Well, I did get to see him for a minute. I was really glad that he got to see you. You stayed at my house while I went to the airport, cooked a whole meal. You are constantly, I was saying to you,

finding things in my house. I didn't even know I had. I told her strainer where her strainer went. She pulled the strainer out of the dishwasher. And the mixing ball. And the next thing. It was like, where does this go? It goes in that bottom drawer.

Like that is so funny. So we were here all day, the Wednesday before I left to go to Delaware. And we recorded and we did two full-ass interviews, whatever. But then I was taking a red eye out that night. And yeah, you went to pick him up. And I still had like another hour or two to go. We got to cross over when you got back from picking him up before I went to the airport. And I got to hang out with him.

I was so glad. I was like, less Nash is upset. You didn't text around her birthday. So first thing I needed to do when you walk in the house, but your happy birthday. He was like, happy birthday. Yes. But you're God, I made this whole pasta.

And I thought you guys were going to eat it, but you had dinner plans. And then the next day, you said your dad was like elbow deep in the pasta. We were, I mean, we had a bunch of work meetings. And every five minutes, he came downstairs to open up every cabinet in the fridge. And I was like, there's still nothing there, buddy. Still nothing. And then he found your pasta. And he was just like, pinch your fingers deep in his pasta.

I'm like, you know, there's forks all over his place. Just get a fork. You love a pincher finger. Well, we were on the phone. We were on a call. And I heard you say, there's nothing in that fridge for you. I was like, the pasta bill. I made you that pasta.

I was like, no, don't worry, he's already in it. Okay, what did you guys do? What do we do? I followed him around the house while he left every toilet seat up. He left every chair pulled out, every light on, the exhaust fan on. It's chaos. It's like you're trying to fuck my house up. I don't even know how you can push a chair that far out into the middle of the room. Like, you're two feet tall.

Like, what do you do need that much clearance between you and the counter? Well, we have a rule now. You can't be a man staying in our. our home unless you're fucking us. So I fucked my dad. What position? Because you've had these guy friends stay with you and you complain every time.

I never stop complaining. The way that Jeremy left that comforter on the floor. Chaos and he left a towel just thrown onto a ladder. It's just, why does this keep happening to you? Like I would never. People aren't afraid of me enough. A guy friend, I have so many guy friends. They would never stay with me in my home.

I guess you just have all this room. Yeah. It's your fault. It's my fault. I don't want to live here anymore. I should make them stay in the studio. She'd be like there's a couch in there. You stay there.

Yeah, I'm uptight. I don't want people fucking to my space. I don't want to come downstairs and have all this noise and trash everywhere. If you asked my dad what we did, he would say I followed him around, pushing in chairs and putting toilet seats down. But I don't know, learn how to behave in somebody else's home. Your dad doesn't put the toilet seat down. He hasn't learned?

Hasn't he had three wives? No. I don't understand it. He didn't respect the last wife, so I understand. He was doing it on purpose. It was a learned behavior that he unlearned for her. Which is fine. He had his own bathroom upstairs.

He was fine. You can leave the toilet seat up, do whatever you want. but the downstairs bathroom is a community bathroom. You got to put the toilet seat down. But we did a lot. We went out to dinner a bunch. We went to, this is really famous Jewish dally.

It's been around for like 70, 80 years called Langers and Westlake. It smells so good. We ordered eight items off the menu. Latas and pastrami sandwich, pastrami omelet. We had smoked fish. So that was really fun. I really liked that.

What's it similar to? Is it like, what's it called in New York? Cats is. Or what's the other one? Carnegie Dallie. It was not open anymore. No, the other. Ross and daughters.

I need you get this. How Jewish am I? The other one, the other one, the other one. Bus, another club, another club, bus. No sleep. I know all of them. Try me. Russ and Daughters has like a case that you order from and they have a sit-down restaurant. The sit-down restaurant there. My mom and I went there. Not Jewish just if you're new here, but it was like one of the best meals. Like we ordered a ton of shit too. We did a huge spread food. There's is a little more modern and like looks more beautiful. This is like old school Jewish. But I loved it. That was really fun. And then our friends were having like a happy hour. And so he came with me and just like hung out. And he was taking pictures with like Sam and Jackie.

And it was really cute. I love that. It was just nice. He was a really good sport. I took him out to Malibu. Oh my God. You did? Okay.

I took him out to Malibu for dinner. So if you guys... Where'd you go to dinner? I'm going to tell you this whole fucking story. It's the most dad story. Party bus. No sleep. No boo.

Club. Another club. No boo. So house. So Malibu is about a 30, 35 minute drive without traffic from my house. And I was like you'll really like it. It's a beautiful drive. And then there's all these gorgeous restaurants.

And I was like, there's this fish shack, this like Hawaiian place. He's like, no, no, no. I was like, we go to Nobu, which is like a famous sushi place. No, I don't like Nobu. I was like to Soho House. He's like, no, too fancy. I don't like Nobu. I don't like Novo.

Bill Greenberg. Yeah. It's not about the money. I was paying. I mean, just doesn't want it. Not for me. I was like, okay, we can go to this fish check. No, I want a real restaurant.

Okay, great. So we try. I like don't see this side of him. Like, he's so cool and laid back. And you tell me these stories. If I told him this is what we're doing, he would deal with him, but he would pout the whole time. He's not a asshole like my mom would be about it. She would make, she'd be like, if I'm not having fun, no one's having fun.

My dad only eats like three food. It's like omelets. Okay. Cambo's chicken noodle soup. My pasta. Hell of fresh pasta. If it's an emergency. Cheeseburgers and omelets are the only thing he eats with like a bucket of mayonnaise. He doesn't believe in eating vegetables or fruit.

He ate a fruit the other day. He told me. That sounds significant. it was. I ate a piece of fruit. Oh my God. And he runs. He ran on the beach every day. Every morning. I dropped him off and picked up my dad. I could have spotted him now that I've seen him run because he's on a hotel treadmill. So I drove him out to Malibu. I was like, you'll love the sunset, whatever. He complained the whole way out there. I said he hates drives. She doesn't like drives. Drives, not a fan of drives. He's like things I don't like

driving. Most foods. Fruits. The sunset. The sun was in his eyes. He really hated it. And he's so short. the visor in the car. I was like, Dad, you can raise the seats on the Jeep, okay? Just raise the seat up and then the visor will help you

with the sun. So I was like, well, go to Malibu Farms. That'll be beautiful. It's not the greatest menu in the world, but it's right on the ocean. It's like unobstructed views all the way south and north.

And I figured he would love that. So we went, we got seated. There's flies inside the restaurant. He didn't want that. We went outside. The outside of was cold. So I was like, you got to pick. Flies are cold.

Which one? So we sat outside, beautiful views. There's a huge menu of stuff. I ordered like a kale Caesar. I've been eating all day with a piece of grilled fish, and he ordered this grilled fish with like bok choy and slaw and whatever. The fish comes, he just takes one look at it. He goes, I don't want this.

And I was like, what? And he goes, what's under our potatoes? And I was like, Bachtoy. And my dad's from Pittsburgh. I'm playing bok choy is. And he's like, I'm not going to get this. And I was like, what do you want me to do about this now? And he's like, I want to leave.

And I want to go somewhere else. And then he goes, I know you're going to talk about this on the podcast. About how annoying I was. And I was like, you're being annoying. Oh my God. So we boxed up our food. He refused to eat and we paid. And then I drove him to a fish shack on the side of the road on the way back called the Real Inn, which I'm obsessed with, but they were closing in five minutes.

We were the only people in there. Oh, my God. No vibe. No music. No one in there. They're like, we're trying to close this up, sir. And he ordered fish and chips. Happy as a clam. Happy as a clam. Couldn't have been happier. Oh, my God. I was like, this was available on the way out.

It's just such a dad thing. You're just like, I don't know, what can I do about this? You're a million years old. Well, it's giving, like, mom. That's more mom energy. Yeah. But, like, constantly. I mean, I feel like dads are supposed to be chill, easy, go with the flow.

He's chill. Like, again, he's not going to make me miserable. Yeah. So, that's fine. I mean, I also was like, you're here for three, four days. I want you to be happy. So on my way back from Malibu, my neighbor was like, do you want to come meet me at a bar?

And I normally would have been like, my dad's in town. And I was like, absolutely, I will come meet you at a bar. Let me just drop off this old man. You stayed out all night. I kicked out all night. It was fun. We had fun. If I'm looking at him, I'm having fun. Okay. So we went to a bar and then, I don't know, it's not a club, but it was like a dance thing.

We like to play who would you fuck in this bar that's not me. So I was on the edge of my seat for updates. Yeah, we didn't look out. From the motel. I was like checking my text from the motel. The hotel was a Wi-Fi. I didn't even try the Wi-Fi. I was just on my 5G. I was like, there's no chance. I had to do something on my computer. I was like, I'm going to connect to the hot spot. But it was nice.

I am glad that he came out here. And like, on more serious note, I do realize he's, like, aging. And I'm in the phase of my life where I have to start to be a little more patient. Like, I remember my parents getting really irritated with my grandparents all the time because they're, like, walking slow or they're not, like, as sharp as they used to be. My dad works full time and he runs. I mean, he's as sharp as it can be at that age. But I am noticing, like, some little things.

And I noticed myself getting, like, a little irritated and I was just catching my tone. Because it's amazing that he still works full time, that he can, like, do all the things he does and be as agile. And I just had to have some self-talk being like, okay, he's not your age. Yeah, I mean, my parents, you know. I mean, they're just, they are still, like, so youthful and so cool, and they're moving around, and they have a lot of energy and all of that.

But it's just like they are in their 70s, you know, the young 70s. And sometimes I notice that, too, and it is just like a matter of patience, you know, like at the DC show, remember they called me. And we're trying to get ready to do the show. And they called me and they're like, we don't know where to go. Like, how, you know, they came off the street. It was like raining outside. And they're just, like, flustered.

and like they don't know what to do energy. And you want to think your parents are just like so capable. And they're the ones that like walked you through life. And it upset me. You know, even a glimpse of just a change at all. And they were fine. And then like, you know, Tessa went and gone and they came back to the green room.

They're totally normal. But like there was this moment of, you know, me feeling their like frustration and like not really being able to navigate this situation. You just know little things. I mean, there's 70s. And they still very much have it together. But you know that that's like coming down the line eventually.

and you really just have to, yes, be more patient, be more understanding. Like, your parents, as amazing as they may be, they just change from, like, you know, their 50s or 60s into their like 70s and 80s even. It's interesting to just watch it happen. He was using this aerosol can to put sunscreen on, and he was like spraying it really close to his arm, like one inch off of the arm, spraying it really hard and then rubbing it in. And I was like, watching this happen for a while. And I was like, do you not know how to do you not know how to?

he was an aerosol can. And he was like, what do you mean? I was like, you know, you have to like back it up. Just back it up by like a foot and you'll get more service area. And I was like making fun of him, but then I was like, maybe he doesn't remember how he's Oh my God. He's old. Yeah.

But I'm glad I got to have this time. It was nice to have him out here and have him see the house and see you and see the studio and all that. So it was like just really nice. And I mean, it's a rare that you could spend one-on-one time with a parent without your sibling or somebody. So it was fun. I mean, my parents still haven't visited.

So Bill's winning right now. Yeah, your mom did back out that one time. Did you cancel on her? She back out. No, no, I didn't cancel. I mean, it ended up not working out for a couple different reasons. She was supposed to come and then she wasn't able to. But I want them both to come out here together.

I think in the winter, I mean, I feel like I have a lot of people that are on the East Coast. I'm like, let's just do winter when our tour is over. Not that there's any guarantees that it's warm out here. What is warm? Or that's not raining. But still, it's still better than it will be on the East Coast. Absolutely. Famous last words.

Okay. Candace. Okay, guys, we are so excited to welcome this guest today. She is a critically acclaimed international bestselling author of over 10 books, including Lipstick Jungle, Four Blondes, and Sex in the City, which was the basis for the HBO hit series and two subsequent blockbuster movies. Recently, she wrote and performed and is currently performing in her One Woman show. Please welcome to the show, The Great Candace Bush Now.

Hello. Hi. Hi, guys. We did it. Yes, we're here. This has been a journey to get here with you, but we're so glad to be talking to you today. I think you really are a guest that needs no introduction. We introduced most guests, but I could have just been like she created sex in the city.

And people would be like, oh, my God. So you really are the voice of our generation. Well, the voice of maybe a generation. Actually, I think a few generations. I agree. Because there are just so many generations who watch sex in the city. And I actually think it's a right of passage for girls who are going to college. That's when I started in college, yeah.

Yes. It's like one of the things that they do, you know, in their dorms, they get together. That's exactly my experience. Sex in the city. It's a bonding experience. It also is one of the first times I remember speaking to my mom about sex and dating when I was going to college. And my mom still brings it up that I would ask for questions.

Like, once it really like to date as an adult, it really opened up my conversation with her also. Yes. Well, you know, I mean, one of the things that's interesting, I think, about our parents is, I mean, my parents were married. They got married when they were in their early 20s and they were married the whole time. So it's like they don't really know anything about dating in, you know, today's world or even dating honestly 30 or 40 years ago. Like really in the 80s when there was a big sea chain. in terms of dating and what women could do. And, you know, I mean, you guys are really the product of probably about 40 years that went before you.

I mean, I know you feel like, oh, it's like the last, you know, 10 years because maybe you're 30. But no. I just turned 40. So you were like on the nose with the last 40 years. But these changes really started in the 70s and the 80s. in the 80s. And I think women today are beneficiaries of these changes and of, you know, feminism, really, which is kind of a dirty word, but you wouldn't be sitting here with a podcast without feminism.

Of course. I mean, we have shows like sexicity. I don't even know what I would compare it to. I wouldn't be who I am and we wouldn't be here today without it because I started watching it, like you said, in the dorm room at 18. And I already felt like I was. more than the average person. I also went to college in the South. But to talk about sex and experiment and sleep around, date around, you know, I think it was life changing in that way. And I wanted to ask you if you feel like you're the real life, Carrie Bradshaw. Like, how do you feel about that? Is it a lot of pressure? Or do you just love it? No. I mean, it's not a lot of pressure for me because ever since I was a kid, I was super, super aware of sexism.

And this is one of the things that I talk about in my one woman show. I mean, how at the age of eight back in, I guess like the late 60s, I was a feminist. And I knew that there was something that was like really, really wrong in the messages that society was telling women about what we could and couldn't do and who we could and couldn't be. And back then, if you were a woman, really your only way to access the income stream, like, the only way you could have a roof over your head was through a man. I mean, if you came from a rich family, yes, you know, that would really be the exception. But other than that, I mean, women were really, really reliant on men for their survival. I mean, yes, women had jobs, but, you know, you had a low-lost.

level job. I mean, even in the 80s in New York, women were in the workforce, but you could not really make enough money to survive without kind of a supplemental income from a man. And, you know, that's what the income disparity between men and women is really all about. It's like, hey, I can't afford to, you know, buy my own apartment unless there's a man attached. And that's a problem. And that's a problem. It's changed a lot. That changed so drastically. That must feel pretty nice. Yeah. And I want to talk about your professional work that changed that because very much so, Carrie Bradshaw is what mobilized me after college to move to New York City. I was going to be her. I was going to date like her and do the same kind of work that she did. But really,

you're the original Carrie Bradshaw and you are such a pioneer. Like you broke the mold in terms of like what you wrote about and where women could work. Can we talk about it a little bit? Well, yes. And I mean, I was always like such a big believer in women and women being independent and not being reliant on a man. And when I was in my 30s, which was when I wrote sex in the city, I had so many girlfriends who were in their 30s, who were single. And they had jobs. They had careers. They could afford their own apartment. And there was really a. feeling of empowerment. And that was something that you see in the first two seasons of sex in the city. You see this women like, you know, they don't really care. They are out there. They're a team. Like in real life. And this is a character who I wrote about in the book, Sex in the City and appeared on Sex in the City. This friend of mine, I called her Amalita Almalfi. And in the series, they made her kind of a little bit of a transactional sex worker. But in real life, she wasn't like that

in real life. But she was really about, you know, we are a team. We are women in New York City. We've got to look out for each other. We've got to bond together. So it was really that feeling. And then every time, like, somebody got married and they had kids, I was like, ugh. came in. I mean, this is... We lost another one. I know. It's like, we lost another one.

Like, why? Why would you do that? Why wouldn't you like fight and have your career and all that? But you know what? I'm really, really in the minority, which is something that I realized as time went on. Yeah. I mean, you were really ahead of your time. This is how we think neither of us want children.

I'm a hard no. Raina, it's a waiver. But I have never wanted children. I have newly started dating. somebody and I have no desire to get married, but he's like, I'm interested in marriage. I'm like, fine, whatever, maybe, like, we'll talk about it. So for you to feel like that 20 years ago, whatever it was, it must have been like, I'm a freak. Like, what is going on? You know, you find like-minded people, too, that feel the same way. But you know what? The thing about New York

City back then was that everybody came to New York City because you would find other people who were like you. Yeah, yeah. And if you were, I mean, you could name whatever, but basically the most simple thing was if you were gay, I mean, you were never going to fit into your small town and you came to New York City and you would find, you know, a whole group of people who felt the same way. And so that's what being in New York City felt like. You didn't feel like a freak. Totally. Yeah. Because you found like your people who had the same ideas and who were pioneers, et cetera. And that's what being in the city was about. And then I think through, for instance, like sex in the city, that idea, you know, spread out there to different places as well. And it just became much more acceptable.

I like jokingly say like you feel like a freak. But to me, it's almost like, I think I'm the one that has it right. Like, you know, there's a point. I know. I think I know something people don't. Like, I have this whole thing of like, I just want to, like, live in the same neighborhood as my partner. We just have, like, houses that are nearby. Like, why do I want to share a bed with a man or a closet? That seems insane. So I have these things where I'm like, everyone should feel like this, right? And then people are like, not really.

I know. Well, actually, when I first got married, my husband and I, we didn't live together. And it was great. It was like, that's the secret. We don't need to. It's, you know, it seems fine. We live 20 blocks from each other. Perfect.

It's easy. Candice, can we talk about how you met your husband? Because it is an amazing story. Yes. Yeah. Well, it is one of the stories that I tell in my one woman show. Okay. And I did that thing that people were always telling single women to do.

I mean, this was like before the dating apps. Now people are like, go on a dating app. Back then, people said, go out by yourself. Like, that was what they. told single women to do to meet a man. Like, go out by yourself. And so I did that. And I mean, I literally looked across the room. And this guy was trying to fix me up with the man who became my husband. And so I was looking for him. He was looking for me. And then we saw each other. And we locked eyes. And I really, I was like, I'm going to marry this guy.

And I never believed any of that romantic stuff. Like, oh, you know, you know, I'm like, oh, shut up. But it actually was true. And we were married for 10 years. And, you know, it was great. And you got married really quickly, right? Yes, we got married really quickly. I think we got married after it was like two months.

Love it. You know what? My feeling is you've got to make a decision. I mean, that's, you know what, that's part of it. Like, that's part of life is making a commitment. The worst thing you can do is not make a decision. If you make a decision, you'll be like 80% right. If you don't make a decision, you're going to be like 80% wrong.

So, you know, they've done a lot of studies. The biggest thing to do is to just make a decision, stick to it. So, you know, that was my feeling. And I really wanted to find somebody who felt the same way and could do that. So, you know, it worked. I mean, I would do it again. I don't know. I sort of don't get like, people are engaged for six years.

It's like, okay. Right. Well, unless you're just like, I don't know, I want to wear the ring and never get married. But we say this a lot too because you see and plenty of characters in Sex and City, too, are men that always think they're going to find better. better. And it's like the next best thing syndrome. And in New York, they can more so than any other place. So there's such a discrepancy between men and women in the first place, or disparity rather. And so men are like, I don't know. I could find her only like 10% hotter. And so they just never

stop. And one of the messages that we spread, but also have male guest on is just at some point, if you want to be in a relationship, you have to stop and decide to commit. Like, no one will tell you to. You have to decide that this is it. And I'm going to. commit to this. We read the New Worker article that we love so much. And I think you said you put on it some dress or something like you had a feeling you were going to meet someone that night. Yes, I did. I had a feeling that I was going to meet someone. And, you know, I mean, that's happened to me like more than once in my life. I've gone out and I've had a feeling that I'm going to meet somebody. And, you know, unfortunately now I have a feeling I'm going to meet somebody

and I don't. I don't know. Maybe I've lost my sort of mojo thing of being in tune with the universe, but I really did have a feeling that I was going to meet somebody. One of the realities of, you know, heterosexual men and women is that a lot of it depends on the numbers. Like what is the ratio of men to women?

And in New York City, the ratio of heterosexual, single women to men is something like, for every hundred women, there are 80 men. Yeah, it's like three to two. We had an episode about the actual stats. Yes. Now, on the other hand, if you go to Aspen, there are way more men than women. And I'm telling you. With money. With money. A rich guy.

Yes. And when there are more men than women, the average woman, her average woman, her. Her attractiveness goes up about five points. To 100%. That's what they said about Seattle, too. Like, you're like, these women can just walk in and rock solid in Seattle. Overall, you know, no makeup and have their pick. Pantsburg, forget it.

I'm the hottest shit that ever walked down the street. But, you know, New York City is a place where it's like every girl who was the prettiest girl in their hometown goes to New York City. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the Harvard is. city. It's unfair. Funny. It is the prettiest girl.

It's everyone who peaked from their hometown. I talk about it constantly. It's like most beautiful women you've ever seen. So, Candace, what's your life like now? And I'm just curious. I mean, you're in the Hamptons as we speak. You have your one woman show. Do you have a great circle of girlfriends? Like, I'm just curious. When are you going to be on the house house in New York? How you're living.

Well, I, you know what? It's summer in the Hampton. So, I mean, honestly, there are. lot of parties. And I go to a lot of parties and events and I like doing it. And it's very, very social. Like, you know, New York City is very social. And it, you know, it really wasn't like that since the pandemic. And even last year, it was like, but now, I mean, this year, everybody's like, oh, my God. You know, it's like you've got five parties or events. every night. And, you know, it's fun. So I think this is a time when, I mean, who knows if, like, the world is ending, but it seems like people are going out. They're having fun. It's very

social. It's summer. You know, there's also a writer's strike and an actor strike. So it's like, I mean, I guess I could be writing another book, but I'm like, there's a writer strike. Yeah. It sounds like you're just enjoying your story. And for people who don't know, you never had children, right? No. But it sounds like your life is really full of friends and activities. It is. I mean, I feel very busy.

And I'm doing a show out here in a couple of weeks. So, you know, part of going out is spreading the word about the show. You know, it's all publicity. So, yeah, that's, you know, that's one of the things that I'm doing. And, you know, we'll see after the writer's strike what I'm working on. I mean, I imagine I'll be working on probably a couple of things. But at the moment, it's like I'm just trying to go with the flow. One of our huge things is just like the power of female friendship.

And these are the relationships that are going to outlast your romantic relationships potentially. And it's truly the most important thing in both of our lives. And you really saw that in Sex and the City and the other works that you've created. And is that how you live your life too? It really is. And, you know, I have a lot of women friends. And some of my friends are, I mean, they're now the OG real housewives like, you know, Luanne and Ramona. And, you know, it's like we go out sometimes.

It's super fun. You know, they are great girls. Like, Ramona has a ton of girlfriends. I mean, they are just. Yeah. Yes. But, I mean, it really is true. that, you know, as a woman you have, you have a lot of friends and there's a lot of bonding with

women and all of that. So it's a real thing. You know, I don't know a lot of women who are really focused on a guy or their relationships. I love that. We love to hear it. And honestly, we were in a business meeting one day and somebody said to us, you know, your show is about dating, love, sex, relationships, but it really is about your friendship. It's about the two of you when you've built, and Ashley and I really are like family. We have so many friends in common.

And that really was, you know, how you wrapped up sex in the city was like maybe the true love stories here are each other. Yes, that's absolutely true. The show is about sex in the city and meeting men and having relationships, but really the true story is about friendship. And so I was like proud to, you know, emulate that too.

Yeah. And women just do, they do a better job once they do get in a relationship. And I grew up with my parents. They've been married 45 years and still. And my mom has more girlfriends than I do. She has all these groups. She travels all the time without my dad. Like she is a whole ass life of girlfriends, women friends. Just like so much. But we hear just men say all the time they start to lose their male friends when everyone gets married and we find it sad. Like who says? You know, it's not that the wife demands this. It just sort of happens that way. They drift apart.

and women get closer and they're able to have these relationships. And you see these even movies like book club or whatever it is when it's just in your like 70s, 80s, 80 for Brady. That's like real life and you don't see it with men. And we just feel really lucky that that's going to be our truth as well. Yes. Well, people feel like there is kind of a little bit of a crisis with men. We believe that.

Yeah. You know, I mean, there's like the loneliness factor and all of that. And I mean, a lot of that is men. And, you know, the other thing that I think people don't realize is that 86% of women have children. So if you're a woman and you don't have kids, you're kind of an outlier. It takes a lot of guts to not have kids. But for men, that number is like, 60%. Oh. So there's really a huge number of men who don't have kids, you know, don't have those

connections and don't have the friendships and all of that. So, I mean, you could be easily attacked online for not having kids. You know, people are like, cat lady and oh, look, she made a big mistake. It's like, why don't you worry about that men who don't have kids? Okay. Like, that's the problem. problem. Right. What are they living for? I know. Exactly. So do you date? Are you dating? Is it on your radar? What do you do? I'm on dating apps. I'm on like three dating apps, but there's really only one that I go on. And I don't know. It's like I've gone out with two people who I met on dating apps, which is ridiculous because I have like all these connections. You know, I have like 40, guys.

You know, I could I guess I could go out with them. I don't know. Is it hard to find somebody who like Ramona and Luan have not also dated? Like in this. Yes.

It actually is because I don't know about well, Harry, I love Harry, but you know, I'm not going to date him. But you know, he's super nice. Yeah, he's been through anybody. But yes. Well, first of all, the crazy thing about

dating apps is I've seen like so many guys who I know and so many ex-boyfriends. You know, people you've already dated are these dating apps. You're like Samantha Jones. It's just yeah. Yes. But everybody says this. They're like, you know, I'm dating apps. You see people you've already dated. And even before dating apps like in New York City, I mean, listen, everybody went out with the same guys. You know, it's like everybody went out with the same five guys. I I think I said that in the book, Sex and the City. And somebody said, like, are there rules about, like, you can't date somebody who your friend dated? It's like, no, forget it.

You don't know. There would be nobody to date. Yeah. How many men are, like, of an income bracket in the Upper East Side and have houses in the Hamptons and there are the appropriate age? Like, it's a small group. Well, I just think that you don't seem like a dating at person. And that's coming from two people who are not dating at people as well. Like, you have this big personality.

I feel like you are probably better meeting people in the wild, which is how we are. 90% of the people I meet, I do meet going out. Totally. Going out to parties, et cetera. And that's like one of the things about New York is like there are places to go out where you can meet people. You know, if you're in a little town in the Midwest, where you're going, you're going to go to the local bar.

You're going to see the same people. But in New York City, people are social. They go out. They talk to each other. And one of the things that I've noticed is like since the pandemic, people are not on their phones. Like if you are out, you're out. You are not looking at your phone like every two minutes. You are pretty much engaged with your environment and who's there because I think people

realize like, hey, this could go away. But yes, I meet, you know, a lot of people just going out. Did I read this? Were you dating some like twos? 20 year old or was that a rumor? No. Listen, I've gone out with guys ranging from 21 to 91. Who fucks better?

21 year olds or 91 year olds? I didn't have sex with either one of them because I was like, one is like too old. And the other one was like, he was like a model. You got the model. I read about this. And he was super, super tall. He was like actually 6 foot 8. It's like, I don't know what's happening with young people, but you're too big.

I used to sleep with this guy that was 6-8. He was really skinny, though. This guy was so skinny. Oh, my God. Wait at that height. There's no chance. That's true. It's crazy.

Tough to put on the house. Five feet tall. Different story. I mean, he was so thin and actually, I was scared for him. I was like so worried. I was like, dude. Did we take the same guy being Candace? Probably.

He's 29. Now does that line up? Pretty funny. Pretty funny guy. Does not eat. You see, it's a small world. So, I mean, it's all interesting. And I honestly think it's all kind of material.

But, you know, it'd be nice to be in love with somebody. I mean, I think that's the feeling that I haven't had. Like, when I was younger, it just seemed like it was so easy to find someone and be in love with them. And now it's like, no. I don't know. It's hard. And then, you know, the more set your way to get. you guys. I want to sit at home and read books every day. So I'm newly dating somebody. It's serious.

I feel like this is the real deal. I know that it is. And he feels the same way. And before that, it's been six years since I was in a relationship. But it's also when your life is really great, the bar is really high. And when you are having so much fun, A, alone or with your friends or traveling or with your pet, whatever it is, someone needs to enhance your life to bring them into it and commit to them. I'm sure you relate because you sound like your life is so full. you have all these friends and all these invitations and to want to fold somebody into that, it has to be pretty convincing. But, you know, I also feel like somehow people are busier. I don't know if you guys feel that way, but there's so many distractions and so many things you could do that you want to do, that you don't necessarily, like, it used to be if you weren't in a relationship, it was like, oh, what are I going to do? I'm sitting at home alone.

Now you're watching Netflix. You're on TikTok. I mean, I've done like so many Barbie filters on like me and my dogs. Like I'm obsessed with that Barbie filter. I'm like it's so pretty. I wish I looked like this in real life. You know, I wish I was just like AI. But, you know, there's just so many things to do.

And then guys are always doing gaming, which is something that I don't. Well, that makes a lot of sense. You know, we have a guy friend that's a comedian and he's so far. funny. And what is this thing is like, you have to be better for me to get off the couch with Netflix to go out with. Like, you're up against what we didn't used to have. You used to have, like, the shows that were on at the time they were on. And after that, your night was over. We have too many options at home alone that it's like you used to be way more motivated to go out and meet people when you didn't have the entire TV catalog of all time, plus TikTok,

plus Instagram, plus filters, plus sexy selfies, plus. all your self-care, which is a newer word. Like, there is so much to do alone. But also, it's gotten cooler to do stuff alone in the world. People go see movies about themselves. They go to comedy shows. We tell people to come to our show by themselves. Go out to eat, sit at a bar by yourself.

Like, you don't need another person do anything anymore. We've normalized going to do all these things alone, too. I mean, I've got this on ourselves. Never bored. I am constantly engaged 24 hours a day unless I'm asleep. Yes. I mean, I keep saying to people, like, the future is, It's like the future single.

You know, I mean, in a lot of ways, at one time, 50 years ago, it was hard to be single. Like now there's, you know, I mean, soup for one, but it used to be that you couldn't do all these things by yourself. Now there's just everything is created for, in a lot of ways, a solo existence. And it's interesting that given the choice, a lot of people opt for that. You know, they don't mind being alone. And, you know, they're not lonely. Right, right. I mean, I think about it a lot because, you know, Ashley is recently in this relationship.

And my other really good single friend here is in a relationship now. And a lot of my friends are, so I'm like, I have to get a boyfriend. So annoying. But I really enjoy my life day today. Like, yesterday I worked and I took a walk. I cooked a really nice meal for myself. I read a book. Like, I planned this trip I'm doing in Italy.

Like, I had a really nice day. And I kept thinking to myself, my homework today. is to go on a dating app. My homework today is to get on there and talk to one person. I cannot go to sleep before I do it. But I had this amazing day and I got in bed at like 10.30. I watched 30 minutes for a comedy special and I fell asleep. And it's just like I don't want to hit the pause button on all of these amazing things.

But like I'd like to get fucked a little bit more. So that would be nice. And I was always that. If I never leave my house, I mean, I would fuck my neighbor. So he could actually literally find me in my home. But other than that, I do have to find somebody. But I'm just like, I don't want to hit the pause button. and all the fun that I'm having with me.

Yes, I get it. I get it. I mean, I have this theory that it's probably pretty easy to find sex, not easy to find a relationship. Yeah, yes. But it seems like, you know, if you want to find sex, you know, there are people out there who are, that's easy to find. But I think it's harder to find a relationship.

Yeah, I could fuck anything. I just, that's not that fun for me. You know, I do, I'm at the point of my life where I've had enough sex with enough people that I would like to have an emotional connection after we come. Right, exactly. Yeah. Well, I hate to be like such a basic bitch, but I am one. So can we talk a little bit about Sex and the City and the characters, the archetypes, the main relationship?

What do you want to start with? The big relationship? Yeah. The big relationship. You know, it's it's been dissected for the past decade plus of we thought this was what we all wanted. And now you're like, this isn't healthy or this is, you know, not what we should be looking for. We just would love to know your thoughts on it.

Well, I have to say, like, one of the differences between me and the audience is, like, a lot of people in the audience, they've watched those episodes again and again and again, and they've dissected them. And I haven't done that. I mean, I've probably watched each episode maybe three times or, you know, maybe four times. That's enough. And I never really dissected it. I mean, it's something that I didn't discuss with my friends because in a way, like,

our lives are sex in the city. And the other issue is, it's like, I know too much. You know, I mean, I've worked in TV. I've had three TV shows, Lipstick Jungle and the Carrie Diaries. I've written a lot of novels. And, like, creatively, you make a lot of decisions. I mean, like, one of the reasons why, and I just say. Like, one of the reasons why, and I just.

talk about this in my stage show. One of the reasons why Mr. Big was still around was because the audience really was crazy about Mr. Big. Remember when he married somebody else at the end of the second season? And I thought, well, that's it. But it turned out they did tests. The audience was crazy about Mr. Big and they wanted to see more of him. Wow. So the writing then is around, you know, it's not, real life. It's driven by what the audience wants. Like, we're going to give the audience more of what they want. And like the whole Mr. Big thing, you know, people invested a lot of time in that relationship. And does it make sense creatively that they're going to split up after six years, after the audience has put so much time into it? No, because the audience is going to be disappointed and they're going to be

pissed off. Witness what happened when they killed off Mr. Big. And just like that. You know, the audience was furious because they invested so much time into that relationship. And I think so many women felt like finding your Mr. Big is a goal. I mean, to me, I always say, and I say this in my show, I didn't want to find Mr. Big. I wanted to be Mr. Big. And, you know, that was what drove of Lipstick Jungle. And, you know, and Lipstick Jungle, the women were super, super successful.

And it should, the show should have been, it was as good as sex in the city. I loved it. And it should have been six seasons like sex in the city. But I think the bottom line is that the reality is for women, it's a fuck hard to be a CEO and make your own money. And it's a lot easier to find.

find a Mr. Big. And the reality is that if you look at the statistics of the 1%, people who are in the 1%, the percentage of women in the 1% who made their own money is less than 4%. And that's the sad reality of the world that we live in. And, you know, I thought, you know what, women out there, you know, they're like, like me, they want to be successful. You know, they want to buy their own house. They want to afford to buy their own shoes. They want to be in charge of their own lives. And that was Lipstick Jungle. And I feel like I was wrong that actually most women, they want to find Mr.

Big because it's easier. It's easier to find Mr. Big and rely on a guy than it is to make your on money because when you do that, you're going up against all kinds of sexism and you're in a sense going up against society. I mean, society still comes down really hard on the career woman. And, you know, that's the reality of the time that we live in. So to me, that's the message of Mr. Big. Now, I've been with very successful guys. And when you're with a successful guy, you are secondary to them. But that's okay for a lot of women. It's not okay for me. But that's the way most women are kind of trained to be. Because it's like I live in the Hamptons and I promise you, there's so much money out here and there's so much income disparity. And I know so many women

who live in these huge houses, I can tell you that the women who earned their own money and but that big house themselves is zero. I mean, the stats are right, and you're exactly right in that, like, we, first of all, like, we are the women that make a bunch of money and have done it, you know, and pay for it ourselves. Right, exactly. And we know so many women want that.

And so we also have created this podcast to really hopefully inspire and motivate. But to your point, it's like, if you're nowhere close to that and you haven't chosen a life that's going to lead you to that, it's really hard to dream of that. So you can dream of the rich man. So if your goal in life is to have the big house in the Hamptons, have all the shoes and things like that. You're like, there's no way I could achieve that on my own, not that that's the truth, but that's the mindset. So you're right, the fantasy becomes Mr. Big to

give you the life that you want. And, you know, women have been, I mean, we've been sold a romantic fantasy, you know, since the beginning of time. Because in a way, for the longest time for women, that was your only option. You know, when you get to people who are making like 60,000 a year or 75,000 a year, you know, there's a much higher percentage of women who are the breadwinners of their family. And in fact, it's like 40% of women are the breadwinners for their family. So that's, you know. Right. Again, I said this to you before we start recording.

I really loved your thoughts on wealth disparity and how it's changed since like the 90s even, you know, and it's shitty. And so I encourage people to read kind of your thoughts and how your thoughts have even changed over time as we watch this gap grow. But I just have to say that Harry and Steve and Smith and those three relationships changed my life and the way that I look at like take carrying big out of it. Those three sent such important messages that I have like carried with me through life. And so my goal was never to be carrying big. My goal was always like Samantha.

That's probably why I've dated younger guys that I am now. But those messages that they sent were so important, you know, like we don't need to get into it. If you've seen the show, you know. Charlotte and Harry and Brandon Stephen, like, find someone that, like, thinks the world of you and they may not be the person you thought they were going to look like this. And you're going to the best sex of your life with this short, bald guy. And like, just everything that those three messages said were so integral in my dating life. And I want to go back on one thing you said before we move on because alternately,

what we romanticized growing up was this relationship with big. But ultimately, like you're saying, you meet a man like that, you will always be second best. He will always pick the money. He will always pick the career. he has options and he exercises with them. I mean, how many times does he just kick her to the curb for another woman, moves to California and says goodbye? That doesn't mean you can't mean a man with a ton of money who's successful.

They won't put you first. But we've romanticized. I pretty much will tell you that 99% that ain't going to happen. Yeah. I think we romanticize this relationship. Because there's a mindset, I think this is something we don't consider, but there's a very particular mindset of a man who is very successful. And, you know, that person is super, super competitive.

They're really competitive with other men. You know, they're very interested in like what other men have to say. You know, women are really accessories. And, you know, those are the personality traits of the very, very successful man. And yeah, exceptions to every role, but you're probably not going to be the exception of the role. So across the board, yeah, it's like women sometimes don't stop to think that of like what goes with all of that money success and power and flying private invocations, like what actually comes with it? Because it's really not Disney, Prince Charming, reality. It isn't. I hate to say

this, but look at Jeffrey Epstein. Hopefully they won't also be having sex with teenagers. But extreme example, but we get it. I like this notion of like you find these people, there are big tradeoffs. You want somebody that makes all this way successful. Is he around? Steve was home every night after his little bartending job. And Miranda, she had her career and she had her power. I mean, I agree with you. I think that those were really good relationships. And, you know, I always say this.

When you get older, here's the thing. When people get older, they become a lot less attractive. And it's like everybody looks like Harry. Okay. And Harry looks pretty freaking good. So I don't know. He's like coming on Charlotte's tits on a just like that. I don't know.

We don't have too much longer with you, but can we talk about and just like that? And we know you're not involved and we want to make that so clear to our audience because our audience knows how we feel. And you know, I'm not involved, but they pay me. So I'm like, I love the show. But the real tea. No, it's different. It's so different. Is it interesting for you to watch these characters?

I mean, my main criticism of the show is that you wrote these four women that are the most cosmopolitan, forward-thinking, incredible women that, like, they all broke the mold. And this show sort of opens up as though they've been frozen in time and they don't really know what gay people are

or trans people or any alternate lifestyles at all. That's not accurate. You know, again, people make, like on a TV show, they make creative decisions for a lot of different reasons. And, I mean, I can promise you, they spend a lot of time working on those scripts. And they spend a lot of time in the writer's room, like, discussing this. It's like, I'm not there.

I'm not privy. I know a couple of the writers. And, you know, they're great. I love them. They're great. You know, it's like, I know Michael Patrick King. And, you know, he's a great guy. And he's also, they're super talented.

Yeah. So it is what it is. And it has, you know, TV shows have their own logic. It has its own world with its own rules. So, I mean, I like the show. I'm enjoying it. And I think it's fun. I mean, I don't actually even mind Che Diaz.

Everyone, like, hates Chee. But I'm like, I like Che. I guess my issue is like there's this moment when they're at the comedy store and the closing joke is so bad. And I'm a stand-up comedian and the comedy store is right down the street. And I'm like, they couldn't hire one comedian to just write a decent closer. You know, it's like all the comedians are talking about this online. And we're like, let's just give the comedy store some street cred at the very least. That's actually the problem.

The Bits. Yes. And we've had Greg Barron on the show who was a contributor with sex in the city and is a stand-up. And it's just like, let's get some real comedians in the room. I don't know what's going on over there. And we just, we're watching it every week, of course. but it's a different show, which it is. It has a different name, so we do accept that.

You know, it's a different show and I think they wanted it to be a different show. I mean, the other thing I'm going to say is, you know, we have to remember, like, sex in the city started out. It was small. Like the pilot in the first two episodes were shot directed by Susan Sidelman, who directed desperately seeking Susan. And, you know, it was like a dark underground movie. It's like it didn't quite know what was going on. Like, what is this?

Who are these people? It was like, when I watched the pilot, it's like, it's so grainy and dark, shadowed. You know, they talked to the camera. And so it started off. It was small. And now when you do these things, you know, you're on streaming and you're aiming to get like 100 million people, which is it's such a different. And, you know, they've got hundreds of extras and the setups and this and that. It's like, I mean, I feel like I could never do that. Like, Darren Starr can do it with Emily and Paris. But it's, you know, it's like, it's a totally different animal. Interesting. Yeah. It's actually very, very different. Sex and the city started small and it evolved. Like, you can't start small now. There's no small. Right. You got to be big. You've got to have this. sets. You've got it. It looks a certain way. You've got like huge costumes.

Film at the Whitney. Yes. You got to film at the witness. It's like a totally different animal. So I respect it. I mean, I'm like, I could never do that. I wouldn't even know where to get started. It just makes me nostalgic. Just got all days, the 90s, mid to late 90s. Yeah, it is very funny. It'd be funny to actually take a sex in a city pilot compared to an Emily and Paris pilot. It's just like the times of change. budget-wise. Yes. I mean, think about that. And, you know, I mean, I have to say, like,

Darren starred Michael Patrick King. I've been working in TV for a long time. And you know what? It's not that easy. It's not that easy. Yeah. I just, I want to say to you that you, like, I don't say this to a lot of guests.

You changed my life. You, like, motivated me to move to New York, and you changed millions of women's lives. So thank you for what you created. Really, you informed my entire dating life and why I moved to New York. Ashley too. Everything.

Yeah. I just, it was, what was it recently? 25, 30 years? What did? There was this anniversary of it. Well, the 25 years for the show. Right, for the show. And it just, I remember posting on my social media.

Started in 1998. Yeah. Which is crazy. This changed my life. This made me be who I am. I can't imagine my life without it. And it's an honor to have you join us today. Can you plug everything and tell people where they can see the one woman show and.

Well, yeah. My one woman show, I actually changed the title because people were like, what is? Is there still sex in the city? So I changed it to true tales of sex, success, and sex in the city. So it's really about how I created sex in the city, how hard I worked to get there, why I invented Carrie Bradshaw and what happened to me afterward. And we also play a little game, real or not real, because everything that happened on the TV show is better or worse than my real life.

And it's super, super fun. I've gotten such a great response. People are like, I love the show. And it's a new thing for me being on stage, but I'm loving doing it. And you can go to my Instagram, which is Candace Bushnell, and go into the link tree,

or you can go to my website, www. candisbushnell.com. Okay. where I'm going to be. We can't wait to be there in L.A. in January. Yes, that would be great. Or if we're in New York, we'll see it.

Now I'm just to see it and dying to see it. Yeah, I feel like to see it in New York. Rana, come on, be real. We're not going to see it. Yes, well, I'm actually going to do it in New York at a place called Green Room 42. I'm going to do five performances, like October 12th through, I think, 17th. Okay. So it's like a great thing.

You bring your girlfriends, you have fun, you have some cosmos. It's great. Oh yeah, the Cosmos. All right. Well, this was so wonderful and we can't thank you enough. Thank you so much. Thank you guys. Bye.

Bye. Okay. We hope you all enjoyed that interview and you know where to find us, girls got to eat.com. And you can get tickets to our tour. It is starting soon in the fall. And you can follow us on both Instagram and TikTok at Girls Got to Eat podcast. I am Ash Hess on everything.

Raina is reina. at Greenberg. And Vibes Only, we mentioned we're going to have that sale for National Orgasm Day. So hit Vivesonly.com and grab that threesome bundle. And then you can follow Vives Only on Instagram as well. Subscribe to YouTube. Leave a five-star review. Tell a friend.

And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.