Girls Gotta Eat - The Snack: Fyre Festival 2, Bodyguard App, and White Lotus Tea

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Welcome back to The Snack – a lighter serving of Girls Gotta Eat. This week, we're talking about: Elon Musk's "5 things" email and the trolling that ensued Our own productivity reports Fyre Festival is back (for real) Rihanna teases new album The Bodyguard app White Lotus meets Southern Charm Love is Blind recaps and tea Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Cornbread Hemp: Get 30% off your first order at https://cornbreadhemp.com/gge with code GGE. Helix: Get 27% off at https://helixsleep.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to The Snack, a lighter serving of Girls Got to Eat. This is a Dear Media production. Enjoy. Hi, guys. Hi. Welcome to the end of the week. End of the month. Great.

The way March comes up, you're like, oh, my God, it's March first. Well, I feel like it comes out of nowhere. February didn't come out of nowhere. February couldn't come quick enough. January, it's eight weeks. February, who's over. But isn't it so, it's just, February, what a weird little. month.

You know, like all of a sudden it's the 28th and all of a sudden it's the first. Okay. Hot take, you guys. I want to look up who planned the month because like every month is 30 or 31 days and somebody was like, I have an idea. Let's make, let's do 28 days for February. It makes me feel like they just didn't count right. And they were like, fuck, this one month has to be shorter, like to fit the calendar.

I don't know. Do you know any February birthdays? Do we have any birthdays this month? I'm trying to think. grandma, rest in peace, was a Valentine's Day, birthday. I'm trying to think. But I don't think I celebrated. I did not text one person happy birthday this month.

That doesn't mean there weren't birthdays. No, I forget everyone's birthday since I don't have Facebook. You tell me there's people's birthdays. I try to keep you in the loop because I know, like I'll be like, Raina, Texas person their birthday, Texas person, someone died. Like, I try to keep you on task. No, like, if it's more my friend. Yeah.

But it's your friend too. You always tell me it's your family's birthday. And then I have to tell my dad when it's, my brother. birthday and my birthday. You do. Dad is my birthday. Give him like a runway. I'm like, my birthday's coming up.

Oh my God. Seven days. Seriously? Yeah. And it's so funny because my brother, me, and my mom are all born on the 17th. And so like it's not hard to remember it. Wait, really?

Yeah. 17th of June, August, and November. That's kind of crazy. Yeah. I mean, mine is me, my dad and my brother are all within, what, a 12-day window, July 7th, 9th, and 19th. Uh-huh. So my mom's, you know, she's busy in July.

Busy month. Yeah. All right. Let's thank our partners. We'll get right into it. Thanks to cornbread hemp. Get 30% off your first order at cornbread hemp.com slash gge with code GGE. And thank you to Helix.

Get 27% off at helix sleep.com slash GGE. I'm so excited for the report this week. We are going to do our productivity report in honor of Elon Musk. The president of the United States, yes. Yeah. Making fun of him actually. And his deranged move to email all the government workers and say, what did you do last week? What did you do last week?

That's the subject line. So last Saturday, Elon Musk, everybody, federal employees received an email from the Office of Personnel Management. That's the OPM, you guys. With the subject line, what did you do last week on Saturday. I know what you did last year. I know what you did. I still. You know what was so funny.

I know what you did last summer. And then the next sequel was, I still know what you did last summer. I haven't forgot. Bud, Buzz. Me and my friends and I back in high school would like, just go.

We would just have that joke running forever. We'd be like, I still kind of remember what you might have done three summers ago. Like, we're like, how long are they going to play this out? Was it,

did he not die at the end of the movie? Is that like the whole thing is like, Buzz Buzz, still going. I can't even remember. That fisherman. He was a fisherman. Which I think is sexy.

That guy was kind of hot in that trench coat. He went a lot of our like killers. Like a lot of our like, yeah, slasher killers from our, like Jason was kind of hot. Big. You know who wasn't hot was Freddie Krueger. Like you really scared me. He was all burned up. But if you don't look at their faces, like they're big dudes.

I like that sweater. Okay. So he sent this email. What did you do last week? What did you do last week? It said, please reply to this email. with a prox, can't write approximately, a prox period, and no greeting. Please reply to this email with a prox, five bullets of what you accomplished last week and CC your manager. Please do not send

any classified information, links or attachments. Deadline is this Monday at 1159 p.m. Eastern Time. And several agencies told workers to ignore the request, including the Justice Department, the FBI, the State Department, the Pentagon, the Department of Energy, the Department of Homeland Security, and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. So Trump publicly back the effort earlier in the day. There was no word early Tuesday on how many workers complied with the directive.

On Monday evening, Musk gave workers some leeway. He tweeted out. He said on X. He's talking to the government on Hey guys. Just in case, who's checking that?

So he put on, he said on X, subject to the discretion of the president, they will be given another chance to comply. He didn't reply all to the email he sent. He put it on Twitter. Failure to respond a second time will result in termination he added without a new deadline. Just do this. Just fuck around and find out.

And the FBI is like, don't worry about it. Also, Donald Trump was like the FBI doesn't have to worry about it, the CIA. Like, he also like reneged on it too. What a clown show. And that's an insult to clowns. Like, what if I said Tessa do this thing and Raina was like, you don't have to do it? And I was like, no, you better do it or you're fired. that is so embarrassing.

Like, these people running the country are like, if they're cruel and they're incompetent and they're maniacal, but on top of it, they're just embarrassing me. Okay, what if you brought your kid to work and your boss is in the room and your kid's like, shut up, sit down, my daddy's in charge. You're not the boss, my dad is. Okay.

The jury. Was it confirmed? It's the president of the whole United States and it's on national television. Was it confirmed that that kid's out? that it's you didn't watch the clip oh i thought it was a little more like a lip reading i couldn't tell if you could hear him they tried to say that somebody said he was saying to his dad yeah sure yeah okay we was looking directly at don't that kid's a plant that kid was a hired assassin you know he sat

him down i was like tell that man sitting at the desk he sucks oh my god okay so okay so just before we get into ours people took this and ran with it in the most hilarious ways People also were like, hey, by the way, this is Elon Musk's email, hit him up. Like all this stuff gets leaked, which I love. Totally. Like the one when they were firing everybody due to DEI and then all those emails got leaked and then people were just flooding those email addresses. You couldn't even reach those email addresses within an hour.

So if I was on the fence about quitting my job, I would be like, this is my moment. This is my swan song. This is the second I'm going to send the most baller fire email. And I'm going to talk about this until the end of time. It's like when a guy in high school scores the winning touchdown and he just tells everybody about it until he's 50 until the end of time. I would start every conversation with what I put in this email.

You know, it's interesting because I'm like, I don't know. If I were these people getting these emails, I'd be like, I'm never going to fucking quit. Like I, you know, I guess they can fire you, but I'm like I just feel like I'd be too stubborn to quit and like take the bait, you know? Well, would you just write like,

this is what I did last week email. So you just write nothing. I wouldn't respond to that. That's insane. I don't take you seriously. So someone, this is a guy named John Schwartz. I guess he tweeted this out. He said, you really can just email Elon Musk at HR at opm.gov.

Dear Elon, here's what I did last week. Got blitzed on ketamine, ignored my children, tweeted 17802 times, wore weird sunglasses inside, got humiliated by astronauts. Honestly, I think I should be fired for this, but that's your call. Best, John. here's one she sent this this woman angelina she sent this number one banged your mom in the back of a 99 civic number two but not before we went to the waffle house number three but not before we did cocaine off the koala changing station number four but not before we downloaded our data and dropped

it all for the chinese consulate number five but not before we donated our 401k's to fiser and then here's my favorite one my five accomplishments someone sent this to hr at opm.com dot gov. Did not give you up, did not let you down, did not run around and desert you, did not make you cry, did not say goodbye. I feel like we're really seeing the creativity and humanity. Yeah. I mean, it's so unsurious. I mean, it is serious.

So they have so far, they've laid off 20,000 government employees. I mean, it is very serious. Yeah. This is the real fired festival. Yes. So we have made our own productivity reports. Yes. want to kick us off?

Okay. Elon, comma. You are the nastiest skank bitch anyone has ever met. No one should trust you. You are a fuddly slut. Here is what I did last week. One, booked four flights for my upcoming tour.

If they crash, it's your fault. Two, was reminded that you have 13 children by four women, which is more children than Nick Cannon. Wrote a joke about it. Thank you for being America's punchline. Three, tested out a new vibrator for our company, and it was amazing. 10-10 cooler to masturbate.

and wield a chainsaw on stage like you're a seasonal employee of a haunted house. Four, checked in with the members of our team in a non-aggressive, non-demanding way, and we actually had the authority to do so. Five, permanently deleted my Twitter account. Actually, that's so good. I did do all that. I did do that. Okay.

Let me hear yours. I was in Miami this week. Dear Elon, this is what I did this week. I made out with a guy, and then I watched him make out with another. guy and I was super chill about it. I unclogged a toilet two days after I clogged it. Oh my God. Wow. There was a lot of anxiety in my body about that one.

Also, I think someone else clogged it, but I won't blame Rob publicly on this. Oh my God. Please drag a man, though. I sold three pieces of furniture on Facebook Marketplace that I bought the previous week. That's your kink. That's my kink. I bought all my outfits for South by Southwest, two weeks ahead of time. Oh.

I bought 10 pieces of clothing on Revolve. I only returned eight. Okay. And nothing on Amazon. And then finally, I went out until 2 a.m. three nights in a row. And I did my skincare routine all three nights. I love that you did yours like a dear diary.

I really did my like a burn book. You really were like, Elon, I really wanted you to know. And I was like, Elon, I fucking hate you. But I hope you die. also I ran two companies in the meantime planned a roadmap for our second business recorded two podcast episodes and one for the future

and planned my birthday party for this summer Oh boom That's what we really did And treated people with respect in the meantime Yeah Well that's what we did That's our productivity report Oh my god, you're just so good

That's so funny Well I just tried to insult him with everyone Yeah no that was good Let's put it on our on our Instagram this week Okay let's put on X this week You can anymore Okay so yes Speaking of our current government

Fire Festival is back. And this is real. So how? If you, so if you guys aren't familiar with what this was, this was several years ago, this was a festival that was supposed to happen? I don't know.

And lots of people went, it was a disaster. Back-to-back documentaries have, I'm so obsessed with them. I've watched them probably more than any other piece of content. So we're well aware of what happened here, right? And who is the head of this? So obviously it comes out, says there's a second fire festival coming.

He announced it was going to be in May. It's already been pushed to Charlene. Billy McFarlane. You're like, I don't say his name. It's like, you didn't want to say his name. So he announced it's going to be in May. He's already pushed it to June.

But tickets have gone on sale as of right now. Tickets are going for up to a million dollars. A million dollars. They include packages of being on a yacht, all inclusive trips. There is not one artist confirmed for the festival. Who would do this? If you buy tickets to this. You deserve it.

No. So it's in Mexico. Okay. East Lomou Harris. I butchered that. I thought it was I love, but I didn't know how to say the next name. I think it's,

I think it's East Luma Harris. It means island of women. I've been. It's gorgeous. I mean, I really hope the people who go to this aren't allowed back in the U.S. Especially if you spend a million dollars on this.

Like we don't, you are so stupid. Like, please don't come back. No, that's so true. You should be deported out of here. Who would, Who would do the festival? Like, who gives, like, scammy vibes?

Like, I can't imagine who would sign up for this. Well, he's saying there's an incredible production company, doesn't name the company. We are developing a building out of private island for all the actual festival activities, no photos. You know who will headline this is Elon Musk with the fucking chainsaw on stage as a headliner. Why not? Yeah. Kanye. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I mean, Fire Festival was like, that was our Roman Empire before we even had that line. which, I mean, this is all we cared about. I feel like I can't relate to anybody who doesn't love Fire Festival. Like, I still talk about it. I still reference it, both of the documentaries. If you weren't obsessed with it and have watched both documentaries and don't still reference it today, I don't know how we can be friends. Like, it really was the great unifier.

It was the best thing I've ever watched. And also, he's not clear about the whole weekend either. So he says, like, the whole thing is sort of like, who's to say? Who's to say, what people were there might be immersive experiences. There might be, like, MMA fighting or something. Oh, yeah. He's just like, maybe, maybe there will be. Yeah.

I want to know, I wish we had access to how many tickets actually sold. I know. I'm dying to know. Before you announce actual people that are attached to this project and like, how can you announce a festival that's coming soon and have no artists attached to it? I think it's just gross to support him. Like this is someone who defrauded people. Yes.

Who, you know, put them in danger. And even before that, like his all his credit card scams and everything, like this is like, a scammer. Like, how could you support him? And then I got to thinking, like, what if it's a reenactment of the first one? What if it's, like, a, going to, like, a war reenactment attraction? And then he's just like, gotcha bitch. And then you just get to eat those sandwiches.

I would watch this on, like, a live stream. Like, the zoo? I want to feel like I'm there. Like, I want to taste that musty slice of cheese on that slice of bread. Like, watching Penguins at the zoo. I wonder if they will set up, like, an immersive experience where you can go get those cheese sandwiches in the styrofoam. There's just like, in this tent,

Inspire Festival 1. Anytime I want to like talk shit about food, I send that photo. Yeah. Favorite photos of all time. And you guys know the photo. It's like this dusty piece of cheese on like a slice of bread, no condiments, and like a little bit of salad on the side in a styrofoam box.

It's my favorite photos. My favorite food photo of all time. Do you know that person who tweeted out was just like no following, nothing? And it is one of the most famous, like it should be in time 100. It should be in the Lou. In the coffee table book. Yeah. So McFarland says that a minimum of $500,000 from the festival will go towards the $26 million

in restitution that he owes. What? Is this a mess? If he owes $26 million, how is every dollar not going towards it? This is literally the government. Like, this is the same, like, literally what's happening in the government is fire festival. Like, are you hearing me? Like, it's the same thing.

Just like scammers and, like, liars and are just like, yeah, well, people will, we'll do what do we tell them but there's like other options like you could go to burning man and cochella and godball yeah something that exists yeah something that exists and people are like i'm gonna put my money towards this well i'm dying to see this manifest so i am too okay so we i feel like i'm waiting for a new season of television to come out i am like foaming at the mouth for this to happen i cannot like what's gonna happen i know so this year yeah this year no artist confirmed fire festival was coming back for round two in 2025. Okay. That's insane.

No artists confirmed. So 2,000 tickets will go on sale beginning February 24th, so as of this week. They range in price from 1,400 to 1.1 million. So, you know, just if anyone doesn't know, like, this is impossible to do. So you can't plan

a festival and lock-in artists for three months. I have a tour planned currently through September, and like I still plan it kind of late. You know, like I could barely get some of the dates I wanted planning it in January. you know, like things get planned out. Like this, people are on their tour schedules. Like, I feel like I don't need to talk about this.

Like, it's a real thing that's happening. But it's like this will not, you can't get artists to commit to. Who would you get to commit to this? Well, also the problem was not just getting artists. They actually have a lot of artists committed last time. Yeah. The festival grounds were set up.

The logistics, yeah. The logistics to me is what's crazy. Like, to get enough bathrooms. There was no infrastructure. Yeah. To get enough food, just water and general maintenance of the campgrounds. like this is an army of people. It should take a year. I know. And one of the things that upset me the most about all of it were all of the local people who helped build the structures or lack thereof,

but like dedicated all their time and effort upon promise being paid and like didn't get paid. I mean, that was like the sickest part of it all. I know that woman had like host all those people at her restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Hundreds and hundreds of people. I mean, people like bent over backwards. So we'll we'll do a report every week on fire festival. I don't care. I can. I can't wait. I can't wait for the documentaries about Fire Festival 2 to come out and never leave the house again. So obviously one artist that will not be there is Rihanna hot take, but she has been teasing her ninth studio album. It's been seven years, right?

Eight years. So Antai, which is one of my favorite albums of all time, no skips, was in 2016. So this, she's put out a couple songs since then, but no album. Obviously, this is such a thing in the zeitgeist, like Rihanna's, we want new music, you know. And she is really hyping it. I'm thrilled. I can't wait. And I feel like it's like on the precipice.

Did she announce when it's coming out? No. She's just like... She's like, I've been in the studio. It's coming. She said, I cannot put out... I cannot put up anything mediocre. She told Harper's bizarre.

After waiting eight years, you might as well just wait some more. Rihanna's not give a fuck. But she says, this body needs to come out. I'm ready to go there. I've been in the studio for eight whole years, but it didn't hit me. I was searching for it.

I went through phases of what I wanted to do this kind of album, not that album. I know it's not going to be anything that anybody expects. And it's not going to be commercial or radio digestible. It's going to be where my artistry deserves

to be right now. I feel like I finally cracked it, girl. What I mean? But it's like an announcement about nothing? I just think she's like, get ready. Like I made it. We're just like finalizing to put us some finish and touches on it.

So it'll be three more years. I like when she's like, yep, you guys waited, wait a while long. Whatever. I am just like, what if it's country? Cowboy Fenty. Well, she said there is no genre.

that right. The people are waiting for a reggae tone album and it's not that that and that there is no genre and I mean I think we're just seeing more and more artists say that like you're not going to put me in a, you don't put me in a category. We need some more love for Cowboy Fenty. Did you know that's her last name? What?

What? Rana's last name as Fenty. I missed you saying Cowboy Fenty. Were you today years old when you realize that's her last name? Yeah. Robin Rihanna Fenty. What are you saying to me? Did you know this?

Tessa said, how long have you known this? I mean, I've always known it. I know there's where Fenty came from. I guess I'd never thought about it. I support Fenty. I shop Fenty.

I like their lip glosses. Is this common knowledge? I don't think it is. That's why I wanted to bring it up today. Because it jogged my memory when I was like, what would Rihanna's country album be called? I thought a cowboy Fenty. That's funny.

I was just like, I wonder if Ray doesn't know. Robin Fenty. Wait, I wonder if this is common knowledge. I don't think it is. It was hiding in plain sight from me. It's just, it's been in my bag.

I have Fenty lip gloss in my bag. So how did I never think about this? Like, what did the name Fenty come from? Right. Her name. It's her name. I could see some rock vibes. Like guitar, riffs.

Like, I don't know. She just says like a rock star. Uh-huh. So, and I mean, some of her previous songs have had like a little, some rock tone to it. But like, I don't know. I don't think she's putting out a rock. album. But I think that would be cool. I think that there's going to be no genre. Yeah. I think she's just going to like dabble in all these different things. I can't wait to see who she collabs with.

I'm very excited for this. Whenever it may be. Yeah. She's just she's like, you guys are away a little longer. You'll be fine. Buy some makeup. Okay. So we are just going to take a quick break and I'm going to tell you about helix. Oh my God. I could not love my helix mattress anymore. We are obsessed. We both have helix mattresses multiple. We have them in our bedrooms, our guest rooms. I have gotten them for my parents and my brother and my cousin and we are just obsessed. And so I have the midnight lux. I also have a moonlight lux. I've really slept on a bunch of different ones. I have my best friend and her husband have the dusk lux. My brother has a plus size mattress. And they're incredible. However you sleep on your back, your side, if you roll around, if you sleep hot,

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So Tessa has, Tessa brought this across my desk. And it is a new app. it's the protector app and you can hire a bodyguard in your city and it's not available to all cities but it is available in L.A. And you go on and you make a profile

and you say what you're looking for and there are qualified protectors in your area. Oh my God. So I saw this because girls were using it for fashion week, right? That makes sense. Yeah. I think I saw that some celebrities were like using

that's the first headline I saw about it but I was like, oh no. So you can. hire armed qualified protectors for the day. So that makes sense. You would hire them temporarily so you can hire them for like five hours to pick you up. And it's people that, you know, they're qualified.

Eight out of ten are bald. So you downloaded the app. So I downloaded the app so I was like, what's this about? Like this is my exact prototype. I'm going to be like super into these guys and I just want to like see what they look like. Maybe hire one for the day. Of the six I'm looking at four are bald. Yeah. So you pick your area.

And then when you go in, you can see them and there's videos of each guy. No. They walk into the frame and they tell you their qualifications for protecting you. This is better than any other dating app. Way better. Okay, let's meet you. We have video?

Video. Are other dating apps even doing video? Well, this isn't dating app because it's a protector app. Oh, right. This whole time, like, this is revolutionary as a dating app. It is so high quality. Wait until I show is to you. They walk into the frame and they're like, hi, I'm Jim.

This is my history. This is what I can provide you. They're all highly qualified to protect you. What an upgrade from TaskRabbit. They all look nice. Yes. Okay, ready? I'm Jim.

I'm a protector. I spent a life of service. I did 27 years with the Los Angeles Police Department. Prior to that, two years as a correctional officer with the federal bureau prisons. In terms of my military career, I did 12 years of the United States Marine Corps in a scout sniper platoon with a company. Okay, so I'm literally hiring a bodyguard. I just want to hire one of these, Ben.

There's a collage of photos so you can see them. they look very serious. There's tons of them. You can scroll through them all. All of them are bald, obviously. Is that a requirement? You can't. No, there's two of them with hair.

Can you really take a bodyguard seriously with hair? Those pictures are porn. Because all these sexy photos. He's like scaling a building. He's scaling a building. So that's Darko. He's sexy. You can find him in the LA area.

Has hair, which is immediately I wasn't going to trust it, but now I do. But they can do emergency medical. They're licensed. Okay, so when you put, you're going to die. Raina's like, I need CPR, sir. You're not even ready for what you do here. Okay, so you do book protector. What do you saw someone you knew?

Your ex. I was actually going to send this to him and tell him to sign up for it. You should, yeah. No, we're not speaking terms where I'm mad at them. Okay, so you say, how do you want to, okay, how many people need to be protected? Okay. And how many protectees and how many people need to be protected? So you can request a few bodyguards.

Yeah, so like all three of us need like, man on man, three people. Then you pick dress code. And they walk into the frame at, you can see them in every type of outfit. Wait, is it like stripper vibes? No, it's business formal? I'm like construction worker.

You want to, okay, I'm just trying to get, you want to watch this. Okay, business formal, they walk into the frame in the outfits. Okay. What? Business casual? I don't like business casual.

Okay. Looks like he's about to go present at like a conference. Tactical casual? That looks, that's what my brother wears on the weekends. Operator? Oh, 100% is. Just full military helmet and everything. Okay, so that's it.

But you see every single man walk into the frame in all four outfits because you're just like, what do I want to see them in? Who invented this app? That's like the best thing I've ever seen. And like the video quality is so high. You hear their voices. You see the move. You see them in different outfits.

Like, why is it Revolve doing that? Like, does Revolve have an app where I want to see what this looks like on somebody? Once in a while, there's a video of people moving, but like rarely, I don't. I'm about to use this app to hire people to take me to the grocery store. Honestly, we need it, which is a sad reality. They're just like,

ma'am, what do you need this for? And I'm like, literally no reason. I just want to hang out today. Did anyone look kind of young? They all seem a little... So the thing with this app is like, they have, like, credentials. Like, they...

They seem extremely qualified. But like, they've been in the military or they've been, like, a police officer, you know, like, it's not just like, I'm a big scary dude, which is like my brother who's, like, a big scary dude. I mean, you have him walking next to you.

No one would fuck with you. But these people could like, they know how to act if, like, they would know what to do if you were getting shot at, you know. So they're all licensed to carry under the law enforcement officer safety act. It looks as though they all pick you up in a suburban. They have to have a certain type of car. You can choose a type of bodyguard you want, how they dress, etc. There's a membership fee and a rate to book the bodyguard. But yes, they are highly qualified and they have backgrounds.

there's background checks, they're licensed to carry firearms. I think it's only available in L.A. in New York right now. Yeah, that makes sense. A newer service. That business casual threw me. I'd always want someone in like a suit.

A suit. Right? Like, yeah, the first one. Yeah, the tactical casual or whatever, business tactical, casual, whatever it was. I mean, the one of them looks like he's going to get ready to go drive a tank in the army. Yeah, exactly.

Like that's like scary vibes. You know, they're like going to war. I would make him wear that. In private. I'm very turned on by this and I love it and I'm going to actively seek out times that I need a bodyguard. Okay. I love it. Best of luck out there.

Thanks. I do want to know, like I want to search for like younger. Like those guys all looked like what, 50 plus? They're probably retired. Right. Like retired law enforcement. Retired from the army. Like this is just like something they're going to do for some extra money on the side.

They do look older. There was like one or two guys. There's only six guys right there. So two of them looked in their late 30. but that's the youngest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's good. Yeah.

If you're like too old. Where's the 27-year-olds? Listen, most of my, they're 20. I know. You've been doing great. I'm in a 42-year-old that I was directed to. A man. How crazy.

Yeah. Okay, so we're just going to do a couple quick show updates, but really some interesting stuff about White Lotus and Love is Blind. Yeah, so we've been gifted two episodes of White Lotus now. So really quick, because the theme song is such a main talking point, they played some of the theme song in that second episode. I noticed that. So what a rush.

Like there's this moment when the really fucked up empty boyfriend dude is like doing the meditation and they play like 15 seconds of like the season two, I think. Yeah, season two. Season two theme song. I was like, oh my God. So maybe they're like going to intersperse it throughout. But anyway, so I just wanted to give that quick. And you guys probably caught it.

I mean, if you were paying attention, you caught it. I really was like, maybe they are just going to change the music out every time. Like, I held out hope that this is not what we're doing. This is it. But my hopes were dashed. Okay. Okay, so article came out this week. Mike White created the show revealed he modeled the family in White Lotus after Bravo's Southern Charm.

What an absolute roast of Southern Charm. Not a compliment. Like a terrible family, that soulless family. So he basically, he told the cast if they wanted some inspo for how to dress, how to move, how to talk, watch Southern Charm. Crazy. Absolutely crazy. And then the father said that he modeled his character off of Thomas Ravenel. A criminal.

A criminal who was kicked off the show for allegedly sexually assaulting someone. He got a 21-year-old pregnant on the show. I mean, a bad guy. Can you say they look alike now to me. Like, I can't unsee it. But now, like, also Parker Posey's character is the mom. It's like, I can feel where she watched Patricia. Oh, my God.

And I love Patricia. And that's the best-looking woman of a certain age I've ever seen. I don't know what she's had done. Obviously, full facelift. But, like, you know, I'm a Patricia fan. But, like, can't you tell she kind of pulled from that probably? So it is an extreme. I'm not comparing Whitney Seller Smith on Southern Charm to that terrible son.

I mean, that's not supposed to be horrible. No, no, no. No, me either. There does seem to be an extreme allegiance between the mom to the son on the show. no matter what he does, no matter how inappropriate he is, which I mean, Patricia rides hard for Whitney, no matter how bad his behavior is, no matter how nasty he is to everybody around him. But I think she has a moral compass. Like what you see in Parker Posey's character is this mom who enables her son's predatory behavior.

Those terrible guys who do bad things, and it doesn't always have to be, you know, the top level sexual assault. But like, that do bad things and then they just talk about how much they love their mom. That's their mom. Yeah, it's very much like, boys will be boys. Just let him be how they are. When he walks in from the massage saying he wanted a happy ending, I mean, obviously they're building towards something that she's allowed all this behavior. I'm very curious what they're building towards.

You know, every episode you're reminded that there is, I don't want to say like a mass shooting, but they start the season with a lot of bullets going off. So it's like who is spraying these bullets, right? And like who's it going to be? Is it the dad that's like clearly going to go down for some huge financial thing? but like I'm just wondering I'm just so curious what's going to happen or is the youngest son

who just seems to be really kind of chill and even like is he just gonna like snap he gives that look yeah right yeah like they open the second episode with him waking up next to his brother who has slept butt naked above the covers

and he doesn't sort of like a moat about it like yeah he's got a weird vibe weird vibe okay I have a question for you about the three girls. Obviously, we love the storyline about the three friends and the one celebrity friend. So do you think that it's always going to be two girls gossiping about the third? Or do you think that Kate is spearheading the gossip and playing both sides? And like, that's the storyline. Because like Kate and Jacqueline talking about Lori or Kate and Lori talking about Jacqueline.

And that's what we've seen so far. And I'm like, okay, well, if they're trying to show that like all women do is like talk about the person who's not in the room, then the next thing would be like Jacqueline and Lori talking about Kate. But then I'm like, maybe Kate is. kind of this like one that stirs the pot and like plays them against each other. I just find it fascinating as like female friendship dynamic. I find the dynamics interesting and I'm not sure like what's going to happen. I think that they're all going to talk about each other behind each other's backs. But I'm I can't wait for the scene where it all explodes where they're all screaming at each other and like hurling insults about you've always been this way. Of course this is how you I mean I

I'm like seething for I can't wait. And then the thing with the mom with like, like, Parker Posey and the Kate character. So I was curious what you thought was the background in that because Parker was having breakfast with her family and that Kate woman walks over and it's like, we met at this baby shower and she just like won't give her anything. She's just like, yeah, dude, cool. I'm like wondering like what happened there.

I know. Did the husband have an affair with that woman? Right. My immediately thought she was like, I'm not friends of that woman anymore. Don't say her name to me. Uh-huh. Yeah.

So I'm just so enthralled with this season. I just love it so much. You know what's so interesting because I agree. I love it so much. And I saw somebody else on TikTok yesterday saying, like, nothing has happened to this show. It's so boring. And I'm like, you're missing the point of White Lotus, which is just that it's just character dynamics building to something. And you don't know what.

People say that every season, you're not that smart. I don't know what else. If you don't think, think, like, I don't know what to do. That's fine. Not everybody is this big thinker. Well, it reminds me of Nora, which is you and I watched it. and I'm crazy about it. I'm nominated for all these awards.

It's about a stripper in Brooklyn that marries one of her clients, this Russian son of an oligarch. And somebody was saying, I was saying I loved the movie so much and you and I just thought it was so phenomenal. And my friend was like, but like nothing really happens in the end.

It just kind of ends. And I was like, that is not the point of this movie to figure out like what happens to her forever. It's this like great story to me. And it's so exciting and interesting. It shot so beautifully. Like not everything has to, necessarily have a clear point all the time. Well, that's how a real pain ends. And I'm not going to

give it away, but I watched a real pain last night with Jesse Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin. And it ends in a certain way. And I read a, I don't want to give it away to you. But I read a quote from Jesse Eisenberg that said he would have made more if he would have ended it in a different way in like a more, I guess, happy ending type way. He was like, I had big time movie producers be like, if you just do this thing, this movie will be more of a blockbuster. And he was like, that's not the movie I want to make. Like, it leaves really, it ends very, like, kind of melancholy open to interpretation, but, like, not, like, wrapped up in a bow.

And so I think we're seeing more of that. I think we are, too. And, like, a complete unknown was like that, where they just kind of tell a very small slice of Bob Dylan's life. And there's no, like, I even walked out and I was like, what, asking me to say, like, what was the point of that? What was the point? And I asked you about it.

We talked about it. And I guess, like, if there's a murder. mystery and the whole movie is about who murdered somebody. I need to know like who the murderer was. Yeah, that's why I don't like unsolved mysteries. If it's like, I hate unsolved mysteries. Yeah. The title makes me not want to watch it. But I'm fine to like have something just stand on its own and be just sort of like a cultural representation of what was happening at the time. Yeah, I'm a little bit of a happy ending girl. Not like that. But just like, like, speaking of Boy Lotus, but just I do kind of like, I watch things to feel happy more than sad or confused. But like I respect the. art and not everything needs to be like that. But White Lotus, I don't think that like, I think you do get an ending eventually and I think that like the show is about a lot. Like the dynamic

of these three women that have sort of diverged in their paths and they're just trying to figure out like do we have anything in common anymore and we clearly hate each other. I just I love it. I live for it. Yeah, the three women for sure. Okay. And rounding it out, the newest episode drop of Love is Blind.

We're finally out of the pods. We made it, you guys. We're on the honeymoon. and then home. This season of Love is Blind. Listen, you guys, Ashley and I love the show so much. Like me, Her, Tessa, we're obsessed with the show. This season has been a struggle for me.

If you want to say nothing's happening, then say it about Love is blind, not White Lotus. I mean, I said to Ashley, I have watched 90 minutes of television and all they have done is talk about each other's sleep habits. I mean, they have nothing else to talk about.

And I don't want to be like, these are the most boring people on Earth. Because I think that well-adjusted people make for bad TV. Exactly. I think the people that are like... Dramatic and... Yeah.

I think people that are securely attached, that just have normal, healthy relationships probably make for really bad television. And that could be what's going on here. But it's a tough watch this season. I mean, nothing is happening. It is just really polite. And people hate Dave.

And I just want to be the first one to say, thank God for Dave. Dave has single-handedly saved this season. He's the only reason to watch this season. Dave, I am so... so happy that you were born. Dave's sex survey. Dave, going around and asking everybody if they've had sex. First of all, that would be me. I'm dying to know who's fucking. It would be less creepy from a woman. Yeah, asking the other women. When he was doing it, I was like, he's still going.

With all the women. He's asking men. He's asking women. And then what is he seeing if people will corroborate the story? He's asking people from the same couple. Did you fuck? Like, I was like, what is actually happening? But I was like, that would be me. If I was asking, if I was asking, I was bored. I would be going up. You guys fuck yeah? So, yes,

I agree. I want the gossip. And, okay, I always have theories but, like, what production

has done to these people because, like, every season there is a couple that isn't having sex and that man is always asking the other ones.

Have you guys had sex? Oh, right. Okay. He is usually asking the other men, have you had sex? He's not serving the women. But I wonder if,

like, production just tells everybody to ask everybody. You guys fucking, like, I wonder if somebody told Dave, like, this is normal.

we always make them do it. But it's also like we always have to remember that these people are at these parties for what, like eight hours, you know, like they have so many conversations about everything. I mean, they really bonded with their fellow women or men in the pods. Again, him asking the women was a little off putting to me. But like, I just think the, yes, production saw an opportunity to like to edit that all together and make him look a little crazy. But like, we have to remember on any show that those like parties last, like,

so long and they only show you 15 minutes of it. Also, they had nothing else to show. That part is my favorite thing every season because everybody gets a little too drunk and they get a little too jealous and they go back to the rooms and fight. We always get the best, most insecure, half-coherent fights after this party. It is my favorite episode always. No one was fighting. So all they had was Dave again to do the Are You Guys Fucking Montage?

And like, I'm not a Dave apologist. I actually think Dave is like a walking red flag. day one. All the things he said that we're joking, we're rooted in truth. I think he's got some misogyny for sure. And like what he's doing now with Lauren and like berating her about what she did before she came on the show is just so off-putting to me. It's so slut-shamey. And like she's staying up for herself and I love to see it. And she needs to get out of that relationship. I really don't like what I'm seeing. So I think he, I think this is manufactured. I don't think that he actually cares that much. I think that he has talked. His sister cares. I don't think she cares either.

and here's my theory. So if you guys aren't caught up, basically Lauren had had a situationhip for two months with somebody. Like a friends with benefits. Yes, nobody's serious. She even says on camera, he doesn't mean anything to me, it's nothing.

Like, I'll tell him to not talk to me. And Dave cannot let this go. That up until leaving for production that she was dating somebody. And by the way, not dating, sleeping with somebody. By the way, these people probably sign up for the show six months before it films.

You don't know if you're ever going to get cast. And when you get cast, do you don't know you're going to meet somebody? Fuck until you feel like it. Right. And I've seen some comments of like, if the roles were reversed, we'd be villainizing Dave.

What? I don't care if you fuck someone the morning you left for the show. Like, we haven't met yet. Like, you need to sex detox before going on a game show. Like, what is he? I don't, here, you weren't ready for me.

What are you talking about? I don't understand the mentality. Like, I don't care who you fucked before we met and you fell for me. Obviously, you had a long-term relationship and there's still feelings there, whatever. Like, I had a one night stand, what, two weeks before I met my now fiancee? It could have been one week before.

It could have been the day before. It didn't mean I wasn't ready to meet him and fall in love with him and marry him. But it just, I don't like what he's doing. It's coming across Slut Shamy, like, my friends know about this and my sister knows about this. And again, it could be manufactured. But, like, I just don't like this whole thing that she was fucking somebody right before she came on the show where she never even met him. And he's kind of saying that that means she wasn't ready to be in a relationship.

That's false. By the way, it's worse if it's manufactured because you're still making her feel terrible and you don't care. But I was originally when I first started watching this in the camp of like, well, if this was a guy who went on the show

and his partner found out that he was seeing somebody semi-regularly until they met them, I understand somebody being like, that makes me a little uncomfortable. They live in the building. I have to see this person. And I think people would be carrying torches like, kill him.

But I do think that you have a normal, rational conversation with your very new partner, I understand, and just say like this doesn't mean anything. And that should be the end of it. Yeah. I mean, it just depends. I mean, like, I think Lauren's telling the truth. But if it truly was just like a friend with benefits, like, yes, we hate when people go on these shows and they had a full-blown girlfriend and they tell them like, just wait till I'm out kind of thing. But like, if it was just a guy you would fuck around with and you really were like, okay, well, this is over now. I'm going on the show. Or you could be like, if it doesn't work out, I'll be back. Like, I don't know. This isn't,

wasn't like a secret boyfriend to me. Like we see a lot with guys going on the show who like had full relationships. I just wonder how much he's lying because I feel like he's lying. He's said before that he has a hard time trusting that anybody likes him for him, which to me that says a really avoidant person that manufactures ways to push you away from them. And this feels like a very manufactured way to test your boundaries and what you're willing to stick around for. But he is like hell bent on selling her this story that his friends don't trust her and they're mad at him about. find me a man on planet earth that cares about that. It's, well, men who are like super conservative and they want to think you're like pure.

They do. I mean, I don't, I, I, I don't know for sure, but I don't think it's manufactured because of necessarily the reason you do. I do think some guys are like, whoa, you're like tainted. Like, I was not sleeping with anybody weeks, months, up until the show because I wanted to meet somebody and you're like no longer pure to me. So they have sort of teased future episodes where he says, it's been a while since I've had sex. I haven't been dating.

Like, he may have those ideals. Maybe you're right, and this is this terrible group of guys. I just, I can't imagine guys being like, I won't even meet her. I can't stand to be in the same room as her because of this thing she did. Like, what's it to you? What do you care?

And then if that's who he's surrounded by, I guess his sister could be similar. Like, I find it hard to believe that his sister's like, I can't believe you met a person on a dating show. You're such a scumbag. Because like, that girl must be crazy in attention. seeking, maybe if this was eight, ten years ago,

but there's so much of this in the world where people go on these dating shows and meet people and it does work out. It's not so crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I just, I don't think that it has to be false. Like, I do think there's guys out there that could get each other all worked up

and like, oh my gosh, she was fucking Jason until right before she left. What a slut. You know, and that's why it's coming across slut-shamey to me. Oh, it's very slut-shamey. Whether he means it or not, it's horrible.

Yeah. Like let it go. I think she should run for the hills. I really, I felt for her. I'm impressed by her in the season that she, in that scene, his friends were going to come over. And she was just like, do I get to have a voice in this ever? Do I get to stand up for myself?

I do hope she just sort of walks away from this and just, I don't know what else he wants her to say to him. Yeah. There's nothing else she's going to be able to say. You have to just decide to get over it. Yeah. And then we did get a little bit of drama from Sarah and Ben, finally. Okay.

So tell me what you think about the scene. So Sarah and Ben are sitting on their couch, and they have been like so cute the whole time. First couple didn't get engaged, second couple. Whatever. They're cute. They seem to really like each other. I like Sarah.

They just like, they laugh at each other's jokes. They're can do better, but yeah. I think they're very cute together. Whatever. He gets up to get a drink and she looks at her phone for one second and goes, oh my God. Well, you are so funny. Like you don't know how it all works and gets edit together. Right.

Right. It's like, this is reality. This is reality. The way they edited it. It was. so funny because he gets up and she's like, oh my God, oh my God. Like they don't show her watching it. They've edited it as though she, like it looked like she made it up and she'd been

holding on to this for a couple days. Anyways, I guess there's a video on TikTok of some women saying she previously dated him and she's crying and she doesn't name him but says that they've cast some like real scumbags on the show. And then he tells a tale. He just lies through his tea. Like we see men lie all the time on TV and in real life. But I feel like she's asking him questions and he's like wheels are turned out.

how to lie to her about about kind of innocuous stuff about when this ended did he ghosted did he has he talked to her like you're watching him i feel like create like you're i feel like you're i feel like you're watching him lie in real time oh totally what i don't know but i'm like i'm like i don't know what did i miss here like everyone's dealt with bad behavior from a guy obviously there's a huge spectrum i'm not i don't know what he did is he bad is he a terrible guy or is he just like ghosted someone and she's looking for a little bit of fame too a little bit of clout too i'm I'm curious. She doesn't name him or say what he does. I mean, I do think that people are entitled.

I'm not being an apologize for him. But I think that if this really was four years ago, people are entitled to grow up, learn better behavior, find the right partner you want to change for, meet a person you want to lean in for. And yeah, maybe you, I mean, there's people that have had bad experiences with me. I'm not a bad partner to the people I choose to be a partner to. So I don't really know what it is and what's happening here,

but his total refusal to just be honest is why I would be out. She's just like, just be honest with me. I think it's just tough, like all of it. You know, you, like, no one's really prepared for this type of scenario. And you get out and people are making TikToks and you're with this guy. I mean, that, like, hits you like a punch in the gut when you, like, see something about your partner on the internet. You know what I mean? And you're not used to it.

It's never happened to you before. I mean, obviously, like, famous people deal with it all the time. But these people aren't accustomed to it. I think she'd go with great. I think she was just like, I need to be honest with me. Yeah. And I don't want to do my doppelgangers. Okay.

Okay. So I feel like they're not as good as past years. I'm going to do them. I have a... It's like the past seasons. That's because you... Just bad season? Yeah. Everybody looks the same. No, I have a talent for doing love is blind doppelgangers and who they look like. So I'm going to do this season. Dave and Daniel look so much like people I know that it's crazy, but you guys wouldn't get it. So I can't put their picks up. So just know that it's uncanny. Okay. Okay. So... Just know that I was right. Devin is Keegan Michael Key. Key and Peel. I'm looking at all your time.

Yes. Okay. Devin is key of key and peel. Okay. Alex is Ben Higgins meets Nick Vile. Do you see it? Yes. Okay.

Mason, you're not going to see this one coming. Mason, you got to dig deep for it, but it is Timu Andrew Schultz. Let me dig. Let me zoom in on his face. Also, a Zohler. with that underbite. He has such an underbite. I'm like, is this a zool?

Okay, I see what you're putting down. Molly, again, no longer on the show, but she'll come back. She's T. Moe, Ila Fisher. Okay. Yeah. Also, she gives like Daisy Jones. She has like spicy red hair. She's just fun.

Yeah. Okay. Taylor, you say Naomi from Southern Charm. Dead ringer. I think knit mixed with little Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, who could see that? Okay. Joey, you say, Trevor Lawrence, which is the former Clemson quarterback.

I think he's Travis Birkenstock from Clueless mixed with hear me out a little splash of Gronk. Gronk's body. He's got a little neat-headed vibes. A little bit. That guy's the biggest neck I've ever seen. But he's also got that like skater boy haircut. Okay.

And this one might be controversial, but Lauren is Pam from the office. I do see Pam from the office. Yes. Tess is like a thing on the internet that they're like, Lauren and Dave are like Pam and Roy. Like they're like making those comparisons. He is Roy. Oh, wait, I didn't even see that.

So there's like, I've seen like articles about it. Like it's in my TikTok piece. Wait, really? That was like, because like she gives Pam. Like she is like it's very like, I think it's her voice. Her voice to me is very. Totally. I mean, I'm looking at her headshot from the show and like the hair is a dead ringer

from when Pam actually got a haircut on the show like season five. Yes, Pam. And Pam and Roy was a good call. I don't know. Roy was who she was engaged to while Jim was in love with her. Oh my God. Dave. Dave is Roy.

Roy is Dave. Finkel is Einhorn. Roy would be so pissed if he met a woman that was sleeping with somebody up until they met. Like, he is so toxic. Oh, my God. Okay. We got there, you guys. Damn.

We ended strong. I'm excited for the next. couple episodes tenfold. Yes. Oh my gosh. Thank you guys for listening. You can check us out at Girls Gotta Eat.com. We are Girls' Got to Eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Check out our fun reels. Check out our cabinet picks. Those have been taking off on the reels. I am Ash Hess on Instagram, ash hess.com on tour so you can get tickets there. Raina is rana.g. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend and we will see you Monday. Have a good weekend, guys. Bye.