Girls Gotta Eat - The Truth About Marriage and Motherhood feat. Cat & Nat

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

We have the hilarious, refreshingly honest duo Cat and Nat join us to spit some real truths about motherhood and marriage -- everything from feeling lost as a new mom (which is what bonded them together) to why marriage isn't a fairytale (don't worry, they're both happily married). We're also discussing how Covid has changed them forever, how they balance a sex life with 7 kids between them, why you shouldn't look for a "best friend" in the person you marry, and their team of male strippers (spoiler alert: they've stripped for us, too). And we tell a story about something hilarious/embarrassing that happened to Rayna, Ashley recaps her latest date, and we have a slew of recs for you. Enjoy and happy holidays! Follow Cat & Nat on Instagram @catandnat and check out their website for more. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for show dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners this week: Dame: Get 15% off your first order at dameproducts.com/gge. Feals: Become a member at feals.com/gge and get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Nutrafol: Get 20% off at nutrafol.com with code GGE. FabFitFun: Use code GGE for $10 off your first box at fabfitfun.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have gone ahead and gone back to work, have brought in like a major income into the family. All these things, we changed the game. And that changes the dynamic. Travel with strippers, you know what I mean? When they said, I do, they weren't like, oh, my, you can travel with strippers 100%. Hi, welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat.

Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Holidays. And happy Hanukkah. Wait, is it over though? I'm not sure. Oh, my God.

Anyway, guys, we are a comedy podcast about dating relationships and sex, coasted by myself, Ashley Hustletein. And Raina Greenberg, Rana, dot Greenberg on Instagram. Please go there. Yeah, Ash has an Instagram. Okay, let's just keep doing it. Go there. It feels right.

It feels nice to reintroduce ourselves every week. Let me reintroduce myself. If you guys are together or apart, you're spending Christmas alone or with your family. We just wish you a happy holidays. We love you guys. That's it. And if you guys want to buy something from us, get a gift card. Yeah.

Gift card for the merch under accessories. GirlsGuttypodcast. Shop. Gift cards are under the accessories. And just one final note about where your packages are and tracking links. We'll email you guys as soon as an order comes out with the tracking link. That is your information for where your packages. We've spoken with USPS.

They are experiencing unbelievable amount of volume. And we appreciate your guys as patience. Just we remain committed to delivering everything to you guys on time. We're doing the best. We can, but just check those tracking links. They are as up to date as they possibly can. We don't know anything other than that. Even Amazon's having delays, so that's when you know it's bad.

Okay. And quick, just thank you. We had an incredible virtual holiday live show. So many of you guys tuned in. You made it an event. You had your pregames and your insane Sharkuchi spreads. Insane. All of them are chefs.

I've never seen anything like it. You guys were tagging us in your grocery store picks. Just all day. It was incredible. We had a really fun dance opener. Byron, Carly, and Chanel, or three of our dancers, we love them. They did it yet again for the third time. A girl's got Eecho. We had Usama and Dylan come on. We had Jenny Jones. It was great. So hopefully you guys saw it. You can't get anymore. We have something planned coming up in February for the next one. Yeah. We're going to, maybe we might do a little Valentine's thing. We don't know. It was just such a success. We want to do it again. I have one thing I need to tell you. A huge. missed opportunity for me at the show. I told you a story about taking a shit in the Campbell Soup factory when I was 19. I'm not going to tell it here. You should have been the show. And I took a drunk shit at the Campbell Soup headquarters in Camden, New Jersey on the way to an Eminem concert. And I cannot believe while I told you that story, I did not tag soup and poop.

The old soup and poop. Do you remember last year? No, callback. 2018, one of our holiday episodes, it was one of the two. It was single all the way or the one after it, whatever we did too. And that was when we really started to go off the rails in these intros. And we were like, this is what we do now. Sorry, it's not going to be as tight as it used to be. But we don't fucking care.

Because you popped off about soup for the first time then. And something about soup and poop. And remember, I couldn't stop laughing. I was like wheezing thinking of like, I remember that? Uh-huh. And I cannot believe that I took the ultimate soup and poop. I took a shit at Campbell's. and during the live show didn't say soup and poop.

You're the mascot of soup and poop. I'm sorry. Yes. You took a soup, Queens Boulevard. You took a duke at the headquarters of cream of mushroom soup. Campbell's condensed cream of mushroom and didn't bring it up. I know. I just like laid in bed last night.

And it's just like, I don't know. Like we watched the show back. We got together. We had some wine. We watched it back. And it's just like you watch it again. You're like, God, I should have said this thing. And that's the other thing.

But it's what it is. You know what I mean? It's a lot of pressure. to perform in front of thousands of you guys in my kitchen. I'm glad you mentioned that we watched it together last night. We had our own viewing parties just to two of us. It was cute. And something completely insane happened.

And I want you to pop off about it. And I'm going to add some texture afterwards. I legitimately almost peed on your floor. I fell off the couch onto the floor and was like rocking back and forth, laughing, tears streaming down my face, feeling like I had to pee. I crawled to the floor. bathroom. Honestly.

And then you could just hear me pissing and laughing in the bathroom. It's the only time I wouldn't have been mad at you for peeing on the floor. I wish I would have been like, you know what, I deserve this for what just happened. So what happened was last week on our episode, we talked about your ex getting engaged. And I mentioned that when I met him for the first time, which was this past January, January, January 2020, he was transitioning into an unattractive person. So when you dated him, you were engaged to him super high. Thank you. He has glowed down, like all of my exes as well. Maybe the most of any of our exes, honestly. And so we talked about his hair. I said he looked like he had a perm. Whatever. If you guys didn't listen, I'm just catching you up. I said he looked like Ria Perlman and he looked like, rea perlman. He looked like, he had a fresh perm. So Corey, my best friend was like, she was like, I just listened to this. I'm dying about Ria Perlman. I've got to see this guy. And so I was like, okay, let me find some photos. And I was at your place. And I was like, we do need to show her before. Like, so she doesn't judge you. Yeah, of course. And so I went on to Facebook. I

pulled up these old photos of the two of us. He looks so good. He was a smoke. He was a smoke or he was. Thank you. Of course. Hot and shit back in the day. So I pulled up two photos of us from two different weddings.

I'm in like beautiful dresses. He's in a suit. So while I'm looking for these photos, I get a call from this guy who I've, we've been talking about him. It's Raina's kind of like, quote unquote X from Charleston. You guys talk a lot on the phone. I don't think that you should be. But whatever you do it anyway, like, you know, Lori, God,

Leap said she's going to do it anyway. So he called you. Yeah, he silenced him. We were busy. We were like, you were finding photos of your ex on Facebook. Yeah. And I said, I just texted him and I said, I'm going to call you back. And he like thumbsed up it. And just so you guys know, we were streaming the live show from my cell phone. So I wasn't on my phone. I'm on my computer. I'm texting from my computer. Yeah. So my phone is streaming the show. So I go on my computer. I drag these photos, the two photos from Facebook onto my computer. And then I, I drag them over. to my eye message to send them to Ashley so she can send them to Corey. But what you did instead was your brain stopped working and you short-circuited.

No thoughts were coming into my head. I just dragged them over to him and sent them directly to him. You're ready to go, oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just sent those photos and I didn't send them to you. And I go, you sent them to him. And you were like, I did. I was like, she's lying.

She's lying. She's just trying to make me laugh. She didn't do this. He didn't call her and her right back. I'll call you right back. And then send him two photos from 2013 of you and your ex at a wedding. You did not. Two different weddings.

Two photos. Two outfits. Two couple photos of you and your ex who, if you're following along, you were on the phone with this guy when you found out your ex even got engaged. At this point, he just thinks you're still in love with your ex and you're out here looking at old photos. And you send them to him. I can't get over it.

I will never get over it. So you don't know. part of the story. Oh my God. Also, yes, I did, I said to him, like, I said, I can't, I didn't know what to do. First, I don't, I don't respond for five whole minutes. Because we were, like, hysterical. Hysterical.

There's no, like, three dots. He's not typing. He's just like, I'm going to wait around. We got to recap. I know. Just, let's just all think about this. This guy called Raina. Someone she used to date, someone she used to fuck.

She silenced the call. Texted him. I'll call you right back. And then follow it up with two photos of her and her ex-fiancee. I just will never get over it. And I told you when I got home, I was like, I was like, I'm still laughing. I'm about to just send pictures of me and my ex to the last guy. I dated just to feel the rush.

Like, Megan Warren, putting perspective even more. I called him back. He was like relatively a good sport about it. But he was like, what if you called me and I ignored your call and I just sent you two photos of me and my ex. What if I did that to you? That's why it's worse. What?

Here's why it's worse. my God. Because of what I was wearing, I was wearing like really fancy dresses, like wedding dresses. So he was asking me how the live show went. And I said that I had worn a gown. And he was like, oh, my God, I would love to see you in a gown. And I was like, oh, you don't even know what I wore last year. And so I sent him a bunch of photos of me in the red and golden green gown. Okay. So he has all these photos. And I, the last thing I texted him was tell me which dress you like better. No. No. I said, you look cool. great in all of them.

And then he called me. And I fuck you the call and sent two more photos in fancy dresses. I will show you the receipts. She's sending me these photos of her gowns all day. And she just thought this was a good idea. This is the next round of which do you like better? And you're like, you can tell there's so long ago. Like you look like a different person.

I know. I look a little kid. The fact that you were like, and for my next question, I want you to tell me which dress you like that I wore these weddings seven years ago with my ex. Tell me which one you like better and then I'll call you back. This morning because I was scrolling through it. This guy is like, this girl's so fucking weird. I know. I don't want you to talk to me.

Oh, my God. I want to stop it. I was so. You did send him to photos and dresses with that. I'm saying. The earlier photos I said, which do you like better? And then I followed up with more photos in gowns with another man.

I can't. Oh my God. And then trying to explain to him also why I had those photos on my computer, why I was sending them to you, like trying to explain why I was even looking at these. I was like, you don't understand these are from nine years ago. It all sounds like a lie.

Yeah. And it's so, like, it's so funny because it's like, you didn't just have those on your phone. We went into your Facebook. Right. You dug so deep because you really wanted Corey to see, like, here's what he looked like when we dated. You didn't just like fire him up from your favorites.

You know what I mean? I have different teeth. I've different hair. Different color hair. They're from nine years ago. Yeah. And I, yeah, you're right. I brought it up last week that he just got engaged.

Yes. Like, this guy's like, this girl's ex-Biancee got engaged. Now she's pining for him again. Oh, my God. She's got photos on her phone. Old photos from old weddings they went to together. Like, the narrative. And it's like, and he's right for thinking that because what else would it be?

I mean, I just think about it. If he did it to me, if he brought up that his ex got engaged and then just followed up a couple days later. The truth sounds like a lie. It does. It sounds like, well, so Ashley's friend had wanted to see these photos. So I had to like find them to send to Ashley to send her friend. It just sounds like a total lie. Because he's ugly now and I need to do a comparison.

I need to show that I didn't sound like an ugly person. Then I sound a little mean. Yeah, it's like a terrible person. I could not wait to tell you second. Oh my gosh. So anyway, I did send, I just chose one of the wedding photos because I feel like Corey just need to see one. So I sent her that and then I sent her a recent photo and she was like, oh, wow.

She's like, I couldn't have prepared for this. Yeah, he was really clean caught when we were together. He returned to the woods. His body returned to me. He does. Oh, my gosh. So that's what had happened. That was.

So what had happened was. So thank you for being there. It wouldn't have been. it just would have been a terrible moment without you. Yeah. Like having your best friends with you for these moments, like just make them okay. Because if you never talked to me again,

I still would have that moment with you. And it would be funny forever. I know. Like I'm so glad I could be there physically like rolling around on the floor. But it was a little reminiscent of when I thumbs down to my exes text from two weeks prior. And I was alone in my home. And like I just wish you would have been there. I mean,

we still laugh. Different experience though. Yeah. When you just like had that, I didn't even know how to get the word. out to explain to you what I did. Like, you had to guess. I know. I guessed quick. I was like, you did. I was really shocked. Okay. That was our night. Um, what's going on with me? I had a different night recently. I had a date. Yeah. So I, I did go on a date. I feel like it might be

the last, like, dining. We've closed indoor dining. I don't know what's going to happen with outdoor, but I feel like it was kind of my last hurrah. It was like a dinner. Uh, had a really nice dinner. I went out with this guy. This was a second date. And, you know, it's interesting because I just, it's like hard to explain why I don't think that we're going to like date like romantically. But like I think this guy is so wonderful. You know what I mean? Like he's he's tall. He's cute.

He's from Delaware. Yeah. You've only said nice things about him on paper. He's so great. Yeah. He's just so great. Like, but I just do kind of think it's a friend vibe. But like in the way that I actually want to be friends with them.

And you know me. Like I'm kind of like no new friends. You know, I have tons of friends. I have tons of guy friends. like guys that I've dated or had anything with, I feel like sometimes maybe they try to be my friend. I'm like, I'm all set. I don't want that.

But like I actually really do enjoy him. And I really like talking to him. And we always joke that we see couples in restaurants and they aren't talking. And we don't know their story. I feel like you get a vibe for a first date. But we feel like we see couples that we can tell they're a couple or they've been dating and they just aren't talking. And you're like, what is going on here?

They can't all be in fights. You know what I mean? Like they're just not talking. and he and I, so I think about it when I'm on a date. And we just talked the entire time. We had stuff to talk about. We had a great dinner. We had a great meal.

We, like, shared stuff. Like, it was great. But there's just not that sexual tension, chemistry, really even like flirty vibe. Like I can kind of put my finger on some examples. I'm not going to get into that about this guy. But I just say because I think that we've all been in that situation where it's just not there. And it's always helpful to remind yourself that you feel like that about people. And people will feel like that about you.

Like guys will go out. with me and they'll be like, she's great, but I just don't want to fuck her. I don't see her as a girl. I want to be my girlfriend or even like fuck buddy. I just want to be friends. And it's like you feel so insulted, but you have to like always remember that like I do the same shit and I do it to good, attractive, nice people. I think that love is really rare and finding the person you want to be with. It's super rare. That's why it's so special when you find it. But yeah, from the other side of the coin, I think we go out with people and we don't hear from them and they ghost us. And you and I both sent those texts. Like I just don't see this going forward. But it's just a lot. It's just,

disappointing, but I think sometimes we're so insulted by it. Like, am I not pretty enough? Am I not cool enough, smart? I'm not of, none of those things are true with this guy. It's just like some people just don't see a future with you, you know? And it's not any deeper than that. And it's not that you're not enough anything. It's just you're not the person for that person. And that's it.

And I just think friendships are so important. Like, it's a compliment that I would actually hang with you as a friend. Because that's deeper and more important than like a guy you date and fuck for a minute. There's like a million people. in between people I would never talk to again and people I'm in love with. There's a million people in the middle and like, yeah, why aren't we just being friends of them?

It's just, it's hard to do that. And I think that is. You'll say that to him and he'll be insulted for like a week or two. And like, you'll just DM him something one day. Or not. You know, we haven't hooked up. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You don't know him anything. Yeah, you could kind of feel the same. You just never know. Like, I'm not out here being like this guy's in love with me. I don't fucking know. Totally. He might feel the same way.

I mean, the vibe was felt friend, friendship. And like I just think you give it a little space. It's not like you're like pining for new best friend, but I think you just give it a little space. And like you've made yourself clear and that's it. Yeah. You guys can be friends. But new friend alert.

And like I just think he's really great. Like this is going to might sound crazy to some people, but I don't think it's crazy and I've done it before. Like I could hook him up with somebody else. You never know. Like I tried to do that with Merrill. I went on that one day with that guy. And I was like, I think you're wonderful.

I think you'd be a better match with a friend of mine. They never got together if you guys are wondering if you were listening back then. But they did, they just. logistically couldn't make it happen, but they were texting and they tried. And now, you know, Merrill is not really single. So they're never going to get together. But like, you know, I'm not going to say that right out of the gate. I don't have anybody in mind for him. But like, that is how to meet people. You've, through your friends and especially your friends, the opposite sex, you know? Absolutely. Yeah. I'm glad we talked about this. I think that like,

it probably resonates with a lot of people that go out with someone and they're like, what the, the what's wrong with me thing that you just like, I mean, I beat myself up a lot. Like, you know, should I've been funny or pretty or cool? or whatever the fuck. And it's like, no, you just weren't that person's person. And it could just be the wrong time. Yeah. Yeah.

I look forward to sleeping with him. Yeah. Oh, my God. What if you did? And you were like, oh, my God, he can really fuck. And I'd be like, okay, I'll take him back. Okay. Thank you for trying it out.

The task drive? Yeah. Give it back. Okay. Do we have a couple wrecks? Yes. We promise we would watch the teacher. I promised you.

I'd watch the teacher. Also, it's a teacher. We keep saying the teacher. The teacher. A teacher. Which is awkward. I typed in the teacher by accident. But it's an FX show on Hulu.

Yeah. With Kate Mara, who I love. Yeah, you love, I mean, I didn't know this about you. Her sister's Rooney Mara and they own the Steelers and the Giants. Oh, okay. But it's the brief overview. It's a 32-year-old teacher who's sleeping with her 18-year-old student. No, well, he's 17 when they start.

The fallout from it. Yeah, 17 when they start, they spend his 18th birthday together. But yes, she did fuck an underage kid, of course. So we'll just quickly tell you, like, maybe like, one thing we liked. one thing we didn't like. Well, I also want to say that if you follow me on Instagram, when the show came out, I popped off about this. They released three episodes at the beginning. So they gave you three. The episodes are short, like 20-some minutes, like maybe 30, maybe one or two of them is 30 minutes. They're really short. They're like 25 minutes long. And so they gave us three. And then I just got

super invested. And you can skip ahead right now if you don't want any spoilers. We always like to do this. So I would just, this isn't going to be long. But maybe if you're like, I don't want to hear anything, maybe fast forward five minutes. Yep. Okay. Give you three episodes and at the very end of the third episode is the first time they hook up and then that's all you got. And I was like, I can't live like this where I, and then they were going to release one a week, one 20 minute episode a week. I was so mad. I was like, there's a season of 10 episodes. Give us the season, Hulu. They did this with Little Fires Everywhere. Read the room. Give us a season. I was so mad. I was like, I refuse to watch the show. I'm waiting until it's done because I wanted to.

binge it. It's too juicy to watch 20 minutes a week every fucking Tuesday. What have I done? every fucking Tuesday. I cook dinner and I watch a 20 minute show. I'm up to date. I did not wait for it so I could binge it. I have to watch it. I'm so, I'm so jealous. Seventh ones tonight. I can't wait. Yeah. I'm, it's 20 minutes. You guys have to do? Where are you going to go? No, I don't have anything to do. What am I doing? That's my truth. It's clearly about an abusive relationship. You know, I don't want to take that away from it. And you have some stuff to say about that too. But it's really, it's suspenseful. You know, it's a lot of like what's going to happen. And it's definitely a darker show. I wouldn't really say it's like a feel good show by any stretch. But I did enjoy it and

you too. I really like the show. I think that they sort of show you like the progression of how they lead into it. The thing I don't like about it is that I think it moves a little fast and you're like, wait, this woman is giving up her whole life for this kid, just giving up her husband and her and I just, I thought that there was not enough backstory about like what got her there because you're like, what kind of person is this that would be like so sick that they would like walk away from everything for a child essentially. I mean, uh, adrenaline or like dopamine or with serotonin, whatever. I mean, I think it's just like the excitement of clearly teachers who don't fuck their kids.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like you should never. And I think she tried. I think she denied his advances. You know what I mean? Like I'm not giving her credit. You should know better.

That's like the number one role. Don't fuck your students. Everything's wrong about their relationship. but that's what it is, like the excitement and the like maybe passion that's mistaken for love. She like, and the last thing I was about,

she tells another teacher and that's how she gets hot. And you can pop off it, but I thought like, I just wanted like even a five minute flashback of her life because I'm like, this is somebody that doesn't really understand boundaries. If you,

I mean, obviously if you fuck your kid, your student, you're don't understand boundaries, but to tell another adult and think the other adult would be cool with that, I was like, could we have just gotten five minutes of insight

into this person's life? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and a lot of people have problems with, like, they just don't think that it's that well done. It's like, okay, we're trying to figure out what kind of person she is because she stole a lipstick, one of the earlier episodes. It's like, what is the first episode? Yeah, the first, yeah.

So we're like, okay, so there's something going on here, but like we could have, we could have used a little more. Yeah, that's it. Other than that, I like the show. I think it's good watch. Ten episodes, season. Yeah. That scene where she tells that friend, I, again, it had to come out. That's the point of the show that she got caught.

And that was a teacher. insane, where I had to pause it and be like, is that her teacher friend? Like they had, what, two sips of out, two sips of tequila in the parking lot? And she was like, it's Eric. I was like, what the fuck? Like, you would never, that was honestly the most unrealistic part of it that you would never, maybe you would tell a friend in the right setting after a few drinks, a friend, not a teacher that worked in the school.

That was like her new friend. Right. Also, she told her like it was silly gossip. She didn't say like, I'm fucked up. I've done this thing. She was like, you know, it's Eric. Eric. Like Eric.

It took a while. Her friend had to drag it out of her, but then when she finally revealed it, the way she said it. And it was funny that she said it's Eric. Like her teacher friend should know. 100%. She's like, like Eric, Eric. Eric. Like Eric.

Like, a student. Like, 17 kids named Eric at that school. Oh, I fuck so many erics. I have two. It's a, it's probably. Eric's are hot. It's probably my number one. Like, I've actually like dated three erics.

Get out. Yeah. Mike is my number one. One is your number one. Everyone's name is Mike. Yeah. So, ARI is my number one, like, in terms of, like, numbers of guys that I've actually had significant things.

One of them was that born-again virgin. That was my neighbor. Oh, shit. I didn't know that. I mean, not our number ones in terms of people we actually enjoyed sleeping with. Like, 10 out of 10 didn't enjoy any of the myself left with. And then one was like, I don't even remember it. I was so drunk all the time.

All the time. All the time. All the time. Super tall. Great jaw lines. This is back in Atlanta. But yeah, check it out, guys. I think that it's a good watch and you'll enjoy it.

And I like the themes of, like, you know, that he's not. like the man, you know, that he, like, was abused and taken advantage of, and it's interesting. They really pull back that curtain and show the psychological damage it did to him, which I appreciated. Because you can get caught up and like, I don't know, he was 18. This was something that he wanted. They had a quote unquote consensual relationship. But then you're like, no, what it does with that type of abuse of power is damaging. The way that he's treating women when he goes off to college, he's fucked up.

Yeah. And they do show that, which I appreciate. Me too. And I was my favorite episode of all. It was episode six. Yeah, like the thought was really interesting. Yeah. I like that they show the men's, his male friends versus his female friends' reactions to it. So, yeah, check it out, guys.

It's a great watch. And we will give you our final thoughts after episode 10 airs. Okay. A couple more wrecks. We have, I just want to plug this, Andrew Schultz, former guest of ours. We know a lot of you guys are fans. He is a Netflix four-part series that came out on the 17th. A show I talked about last year called Home for Christmas.

I think it's like a Swedish show or something. It's been dubbed. They're coming back for season two, which is out now on Netflix. It came out on the 18th. So those are two things for you. And then this movie I absolutely loved. This is the first ever studio-backed holiday rom-com to center on a queer couple. It's called Happiest Season.

It's on Hulu. It stars Kristen Stewart. And just this like all-star cast. We have Aubrey Plaza, Daniel Levy, Levy, like from Schitt's Creek, the mom from Stepbrothers. Okay. And Allison Bree. who is incredible.

She plays like this bitch of a sister. Her role is incredible. It's so good. I laughed out loud a lot in the first half. I was laughing out loud. I rarely laugh. I love to laugh. I laugh in person all the time.

But like to something to make me laugh that I'm watching, it's kind of rare. So I was laughing out loud. It's like at just the like the writing is really funny. And then I cried through the whole end. So it is an emotional ride. And I've seen mixed reviews from the queer community. I've seen a lot of praise for it.

But I've also seen some reviews that it can. be a little triggering because kind of the basis storyline is that Kristen Stewart has this girlfriend and she's bringing her home for Christmas, but her family doesn't know she's out. So there's a lot of that like shame surrounding coming out, which I can understand would be triggering to some people. So just like a trigger warning. But I just, I found it to be really enjoyable and poignant and just love to see a holiday rom-com centered around a gay couple. No one loves like an ensemble cast more than I do. I don't even care if the movie's good. Valentine's Day. Yeah. You love an ensemble cast. I love an ensemble cast. What else is an ensemble cast? Just like Valentine's Day. Love actually. Yes. Even the family

stone. Yeah. It's incredible. It's just so good. So I recommend that you guys check it out. Those are my recs. Do you know what I thought was so cute as you said out? You know, I love to laugh. I laugh all the time. Like it's a dating profile. Like I love laughing. Can you imagine a person me like? What I don't like is laughing. I hate to laugh. I love smiling. Spine. It's my favorite. Also, it's based in Pittsburgh. Oh, well, now you have me. I can't wait to watch this. Ensemble cast in Pittsburgh. Yes. Girl! My body!

I know. I love to laugh. And do you know, you know I like obsessed with Aubrey Plaza. I am obsessed with her. Like my number one, she's from Delaware too. Well, Alison Brie is on one of my favorite shows of all time, which is Mad Men. She's the wife. Alison Brie in this movie is the role that I would love to play if I was an actress.

She's just a bitch. She got the face for it. Yeah. You know? She's a stone cold cut. Yep. And she, Aubrey Plaza, also on my favorite shows of all time, Parks and, wreck. So, um, so good. Also, I love all these wrecks because people are going home for the holidays or maybe

they're alone for the holidays, so they'll have stuff to do. Yeah. And Amy Chan, the last thing will, well, that's what, Amy Chan from one of our favorite episodes, Breakup Boot Camp, released a book, her first book by the same title. So you guys loved her. Um, you can check out that book too. Yeah, that's a good wreck. Yeah. Okay. Um, well, you made me think of it because it was so nice to you to recommend Andrews, um, show. So we always like to, to send you to people that you guys like. Yeah. Um, all right. All right. Well, we didn't even talk about who we have on the show today, but it's cat and that. I mean, they're huge. They're two incredible moms. They have a really fun brand, kind of like ours. They have a podcast. They travel. They used to travel the world and do shows. So we're going to get into it with them. I didn't even mention it. Yeah. About kids and motherhood and having sex and all the things, having a business. They're great. All right, guys, we are really so excited for our guests today. They are the co-host of the wildly successful podcast, hashtag mom true. and the authors of the national bestseller, Cat Nats Mom Truth.

Please welcome to the studio, Cat Natt. Yay. Hi. Hi, guys. Thank you for being with us. We're so excited. And who, what's, you have a dog with you? So what is her name or his name?

She's a Bernadoodle. She's a lover. She likes to cuddle. She is, well, she is a big, she thinks she's like the third, like, co-host. She thinks, like, she feels very comfortable and confident. in her position right in between the two of us. Yeah.

So this is incredible. We have a dog too, but he's like not. He doesn't give a fuck about us. He's just like, no, living his truth. She just is always, she's always around. You, if you're there, she's there.

Okay. You two live together? No. No. God, no. Oh, gross. Okay, well, you said, we have a dog.

Oh, it's like, he's mine, too. He's like the podcast dog, you know. We have like merch with him. We say, welcome to the house studio with us and Dewey, which I didn't say today. I am so sorry. Oh, but I'm just, Someone throwing us for a loop there.

Someone mowed or lawn, really. It was this dog. Way to go, Bo. You really abstain to good job. You're great show dog, Beau. So you guys are coming as in Canada from your car. That's right. Boring as fuck, but yes, we are in our car doing the same.

We made pininis. That's about the... We had a few other things to do that were top secret, but we made paninis. That was the highlight of the day. Well, I have to tell you. I've heard about you guys first. A girlfriend of mine is really loves you. She's a mom of two, and she talks.

told me about you guys and I started following you. But the interaction that I had where I realized something that we had in common was when I was booking our male strippers for our Atlantic City show and I was on the phone with this guy, you probably know him, from Hunkamania. And he was like pitching to me and he was like, have you heard of Cat Nat? We work with Cat Nat. We're the official strippers of Cat and Nat. Did his name start with an A? Yes. And whatever. We worked with them. We performed at Caesars. We had the Hunkomania guys. And I just think it's so funny. Like we share strippers with you guys. And so... You know, that the Romeo is actually... Yes, we have to talk about Romeo. He's our DJ. He's with us every Thursday night. He comes on the road with us. He like is literally, you know, we've had them for three years, those guys. And we've curated a team. We now have added one from Australia. Yeah. His name is Will. We have a whole team.

And we've taken them across North America and T.U.K. Like 150 shows. And Romeo's been to, I think, almost every single one. Yeah. Shit. So we have a story about Romeo. We had him in Atlantic City. And we had this thing where we were going to FaceTime in the guy that Raina was dating at the time. And we have him on the screen. And then Romeo was going to come out and like, you know, be on Raina. And we were like, just tell us what you plan on Romeo. Like, what are you going to do? He was like, don't even worry. out. He was like, insulted that we would even, like, question him. And he was like, just be ready for it. And he came out. He picked her up with her stool. With the chair. Yeah, yeah. And he was in his face. That's what, guys, that is like, that's a Sunday night. You know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, that's like, while my man was on like the big projector screen above us in front of like a thousand people is wild.

Yeah, like our kids, our kids been backstage, met them. Our husbands are on like on first name basis with them. I'm like, yeah, they're part of the family. We've flown them in for photo shoes. Yeah, they're, I mean, guys, literally, I think we're like 150 cities or something we've done. In the UK, we've gone to Europe. We've got, and Romeo came with us. No. Oh, yeah, no.

I want to take an international vacation with Romeo? Yeah, no, no. We stayed in the house with the team. We didn't stay with them, but with our tour team, they all stayed with them. No, we're like family now. No, literally, Romeo. We have a few podcasts with Romeo. So before we get you, I want to like introduce what you guys actually do and how the podcast came about

because we were talking about this offline, but just so the audience can catch up. We did an episode about not being sure if we wanted to have kids and we brought you guys on because you're like the us that are married with kids, but you like make it work and you're doing all these things and you have this incredible business and you tour and we thought it would be really interesting to talk about just like traditional notions of like motherhood and marriage and things like that. But we ask everybody what gives you the right? So every person just, you know, what's your background?

Why do you talk about this? How did you get it? We just love to like a quick synopsis and then we'll get into it. What gives us the right to talk about anything as far as motherhood is the experience of having seven children all like under the age. Like right, like right. Like right, right. What gives us the right to talk about the experience of being independent, resilient women who need to make. an income for those selves and a business is being raised by two single moms who didn't have a lot,

but were able to prove to their daughters that they could do and be anything. And that at the end of the day, like, things can be really hard. But if you, you know, if you're happy for your kids and you can find some sort of joy in the world, then you can actually have a good time that laughter is therapy, no matter like what our mothers went through. We both have partners right now. And when I'm mad. Husbands? Yeah.

You, okay. I was like, wait, you and me? Or like, what are we talking about? partners in life, like to share the load of the world, but they didn't have it. And so we're just like, people are like, what gives you the right to find, like, to find happiness in this crazy world? Well, the fact that we have healthy children and that we're able to work and that we're able to find fun together.

So anything else? No, I just think that, you know, so often women are, that they can't get along and women have to hate each other, that women, you know, can't support each other. And I think that we are just trying to kind of let women know you can all do it differently. And at the end of the day, like, it doesn't have to be a major competition about who, you know, let's not tear each other down to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. I think that that is we're trying to inspire women to, you know, start focusing on their own happiness and stop comparing themselves to what they think they should be and just be you because fuck, life's hard enough to try to be something. that you'll never be. And you know, one of, one of the arms of our business is actually Social Climate Collective where we actually do webinars and we teach people the things that we

learned along the way all by ourselves, not from going to school, but from teaching ourselves over the past decade on how to grow a business without spending, without spending much money. And honestly, when we look back on the years of growing, when we, when we wanted to gain insight from people, we always turned to other female entrepreneurs and they were supportive and they lend a hand in their experience. And so that's another part of who we are and what we try to do for our community as well. Yeah.

That's amazing. And you guys, I know you were friends when you were younger and you came back together. Like I know a little bit of your origin story. We don't need to tell that whole story today. But in terms of starting your brand was part of the motivation because you did want something different out of life

than to be a wife and a mother. Honestly, I think the biggest part was that, I don't think you have to define the two different aspects. I mean, our kids are our entire life, and that's just how it is because we're in charge of keeping people alive. Like at the end of the day, if someone needed something where we needed to be there,

we'd have to stop to her and go. We'd have to drop. That's just that is not the burden, but that's also the burden and the gift of motherhood, right? So I think it was more that, you know, to be honest with you, our husbands didn't have the ink. there was a lot of women feel the pressure in a household when you're a stay-at-home mom and your husband's working full-time, a lot of women feel like, oh, God, I wish I could contribute. And even

though you're contributing so much, I think everyone's always looking for something more to do to help. It's really to help the family. You don't think of yourself. And what we found was we became better mothers, better people, better everything when we started to create something on the side and and work through it because we never had this vision. Like sitting here was never the vision. It was to make an income to bring into the family with something we love to do. And there was something about like when we, when we had our babies, we felt like totally lost. Like you cannot prepare for being a mom. Some people just naturally fall into it. It felt very foreign to us and me. And I think that I totally lost my train of thought. So there you go.

Is that how you guys found it, like, reconnected, though? Was it when you became mothers? Thank you. Thank you very much for that. Well, we started hanging out together all the time. We'd be like everywhere we would go. It's like all these moms who'd ask us our opinion on things and like, where'd you buy that thing? Because we were saying, oh, mom, so we were like the experts and we're like, God, we don't know what the fuck is going on.

We just like, we're just waiting until like 5 o'clock to have a cocktail. But they thought that because we did it more, like longer hours, we somehow were experts, no matter how long you're there. You don't know anymore, actually. You know less because you get so ass backwards. But everyone was like turning to us for like the answers and our advice and we're like, oh my gosh, we'd run into someone on the street and they would just like verbal diarrhea, everything from like birth to marriage to their mother-in-laws to everything. So when we started, we were just like, I guess people need to talk.

So let's give them a platform to speak or let's speak for them. We just love this outlet of debunking this idea of this notion of like the perfect wife, the perfect mother. and we want to talk to you guys about that today because you were talking about this pressure of being a stay-at-home mom and there's so much you have to contribute but also you want to make your own money

and also you want to be your own person and like the pressure to do that must be crazy and then the outside pressure from other mothers like on social media and things like that. You know, I actually, I'm going to check that because we are very fortunate in our community that we don't get a lot of

like pushback and also I think that you kind of after a certain point when you're not looking for validation in social media, you begin to kind of like not see it, you know, like when people are, you know, try to get us to kind of like put down the Pinterest mom. We're like, yo, that Pinterest mom saved, like we hired actually one of the Pinterest moms that people like to sometimes, you know, to shit on. And we're like, that one saved my ass multiple times when I forgot pizza lunch and my little daughter was sitting in the

office because she had no lunch. That interest, people, mom called me was like, I can take her home for lunch, can you come and get, you know what I mean? So I think that we're like, I think every woman has insecurities and struggles to be confident. Motherhood's just another layer to feel bad at something or you can embrace it and realize, you know, you're doing the best you can. But just like everything in life, it's very easy to compare versus, you know, be shamed. I think we shame ourselves more as women than people shame. For sure. us and we want to jump to the conclusion that people are shaming us when it's really our own shame where we go to bed each night and beat ourselves up, you know? And I honestly feel like I am through

probably the experience of having seven kids doing this for so long, we know ourselves and who we are is known so much that we don't put pressures on things that we aren't unable to do. Like I remember when my kids, a couple of my kids are really young and I was like, I'm going to have a meal plan and I'm going to get the ingredients. I'm going to like stick to that. I've realized to the years, I'm not that person. I'm like, I'm the person who decides what's dinner at like 4.30 and I serve it at five. Like, that's just the way it's going to be. And so if someone even makes like a side like crack of like calling you something, like somebody recently referred to me as a disorganized mom. And I was like, I'm completely not insulted by

that. That is 100% of the truth. And if you want to call me that, I totally agree. So, you know, when you know yourself, it's like, can't hurt my feelings. I already know I'm like that. Yeah. Right. And we say that all the time. Also, people project. So when people like put their shit on you, it's like whatever they're dealing with, they just want to be validated. for the choices that they're making and they don't like that you do it differently because they're insecure in their own life. We talk about this shit all the time. And I honestly think that that's something that people learn in life.

And some people will never be able to see it that way. Like when I was first, I had my first baby, I wanted to believe that everything I was doing was the right way. Because if I was doing it, if she was doing it in a better way than me, then why am I doing like that? So I have to believe in myself that my way is kind of the best way. Through experience, I see now that people can do it. People can do life any way they want it.

It doesn't mean that just because they're doing it differently, that mine's bad or theirs is better. But that takes like maturity and confidence and experience. Yeah, 100% we agree. We both listened to this episode of yours that I think was from October or November. So it wasn't too long ago. And the title is marriage isn't a fit. You're like, that was forever ago to me.

No, I'm like, we often do it drunk. You know, our podcast. You were driving. You guys were driving. Yeah, you weren't drunk. Sometimes it's just a hand. And I don't. don't know what we said. Oh, well, you were, you were so eloquized. I mean, I listened to it in the

shower this morning, so it's fresh. Okay, good. Thank you. We were sober. Great news. But the title was like, it was so grabbing, like, marriages in a fairy tale. And that's what we love about you guys the most. It's like, you're just so honest. Like, you say the things people are afraid to say, you know, and we can obviously respect that. That's what we try to do too. But it was just like, it was so brutally honest about kind of like what you sign up for, not in a bad way, but just like how you guys are talking about a book, I think. Yeah, I just said it's from my book. Yeah, so it was stuff that I don't hear a lot.

Like, I think Nat, you were saying, like, you make your own life path, you make your own choices. But when you get married and when you become a mother, you have rules that you follow to be a good mother, to be a good wife. And it was just, you guys were so honest. And it was really great to hear. You know, it was like, we have been talking about this more and more as we have grown as as women and as we've been married for now over a decade each. And I think that we're seeing marriage in a way that is very different than the way that we,

when, you know, when we got married. So, uh, cat was reading this. I am here with you. My daughter is just texting me. And she's at school. And if I don't respond, she won't get the message. So yes, I am here. This is just motherhood.

That's good. It's part of the experience. Yeah. Yeah. You're getting married. In the book that it was talking about like, you know, this couple that basically, decided that they wanted to try and have an open marriage. It's called the arrangement. We didn't write

it. We're not making money from selling it. But it honestly, it's like, I feel like so many TV shows now and like books and like things are showing the truth behind what happens in a marriage and with a person. And the fact that the person, when you get married, when you're, when a lot of people get married, let's say like, oh my God, I'm coming like, I'm coming up to like 30 or I'm in my late 20s. And everyone seems to be getting married. And then you meet the person who could come across. your path at any time, but it just seems like the right time. You marry them. You don't even think about what it's going to be like to raise a family, like work with a budget, potentially have a mortgage, like make all the decisions of a family, like literally like co-CEOs of a business. That's not what

you're thinking about. You're thinking about like a wedding, a honeymoon, like cute little brunches with your friends and then maybe having a baby, won't that be adorable? Like you have no idea what like reality is going to be. And not to say that it all comes crashing down, but it isn't it changes and I think that like as women or as people you change too and I definitely the people the lives that we were living when we married the marks is very different that the life that we're living now and we change that they didn't change they still have the same job yeah yeah yeah yeah like not not the exact same job but the same life right and we have gone ahead and gone back to work traveled like weeks on end without our kids like

have brought in like a major income into the family. All these things, we changed the game, and that changes the dynamic. Travel with strippers, you know what I mean? When they said, I do, they weren't like, oh, my, what, you can travel with strippers 100%. So there's been so much.

And then the whole thing of monogamy, it's funny. We asked, we talk to our doctors a lot. We talked to lots of different doctors, and one of them, you know, women are always trying to like, often are trying to, raise their libido, like a man, a man takes a pill, which brings stimulation to his penis, so he can get erection, he can have sex. Women want to want to do that. And this one doctor's

like, and there was this like this pill that came out that apparently make you or an ear, yada, yada. Oh my God, that was a good one. Here's how you raise your sets drive. Find a new partner. That's the only way you're going to be as excited from a doctor. No. Yeah. I mean, what is more exciting than like a breast? grand new, like, you know, the first time together, the passion, nobody can convince me that that same feeling or even that same kind of passion exists, like 20 years later, like bowls.

No. I mean, three years later, it's hard to maintain it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, like, layer in, I have a question about your husbands. But, like, you layer in, like, kids and travel and work and all this stuff. But it sounds like you guys married people that are, I mean, you tell me, but like a good support system and can be a teammate, allow you guys to travel.

And like what was that like not being a wife, but being this whole other business person now? I know. And imagine we had no idea that those men were going to be the men they are now or that they'd ever have to deal with this. Like we really scored or we're very clever, unknowingly clever way back when that we saw a man that was going to be like, yeah, I'm getting more with that.

You know, when I got married, I was the girl on the speaker dancing. you know, with like taking my clothes off, you know, not because not getting paid for it just because I was always a little bit more on the outrageous side. And he never tried to change me. He never, and I think that that's the biggest thing is, you know, if you are looking for a partner, find someone who you don't have to become someone, you're not. And like, you know, just try to be the person you, if you know yourself well when you get married, you're not, you're not looking to find yourself and making a decision based on who you want to be or who you think you should

be you're getting married on who you are actually and I think we've we because of our childhood and how we grew up and our teenagehood I feel like we really tested our own limits to figure out we had to get comfortable with ourselves really fast and we did at an early age and I think when you don't apologize for who you are um your your spouse doesn't question that he just is like all right like I get like it's not like we don't ask permission we just this is what we're doing um we're a partnership and, you know, they're like, okay. And then as far as, you know, as far as the whole being, like choosing to build the rules of staying together with one person for the rest of your life, like, or happily married, whatever, but like the institution of it all is actually a made up

contract. It's a trap. And you were like, we should decide in 10 years if we want to keep doing this. Like, it's like a mortgage or whatever. It's like, it's funny that you said that in the episode of like, should we check in 10 years? It's like, who decided? this, though, and I don't want to keep quoting this episode. It's just fresh to me, but you said, like, did the church decide this? Did God? Did, like, history? I just, I'll just feed you the episode. We just, I love this notion. I'd love you to speak on it more because it's like, who made these decisions and why haven't we updated? It's like the Constitution. Why are we still doing stuff

that somebody invented in 1776? All white men. I wouldn't even look at a manual from 2018. I know. I don't know. You know, you wouldn't even buy a car from 2010, you know? Like, really, you're not looking to buy. You're exactly right. No, I think that... I'm poor of you. We think about this a lot, clearly. And we have seven kids.

And then the idea of like, I am, I am heterosexual. I am gay. And just making that decision at such a young age, instead of, like, being able to, like, openly try everything out. We're like, we hope, well, we hope that there's a lot more openly fluid people as, as the generations come and that they don't feel like they have to marry one person and just be with them forever. Not's looking for a thruffle when I hear her say. I mean, I just hope the kids don't feel that they have to follow into this mold that has been here since whatever year you said.

Yeah, we don't know who made these rules up, but I really do begin to be like, wait a minute. I didn't see the rule book. No one ever told me the rule book. I just did it. And that is so not like us to follow the rules to just like do it. I do think that it is nothing to do with love. Like you really, when you begin to like step out and it's not about the person, it's about like, you know the sanction of what this whole, what is actually marriage.

Like when you're really being to break it down, you're like, oh, it's really weird. You sleep with someone. That's really weird. We train our kids every single night to sleep alone. Okay. Oh, yeah. I don't want to have a house with somebody. We did a whole episode.

I'm not trying to live with somebody to share a bed. I work so hard to have a California King bed to myself. I'm going to share it forever. Never. I'm not. I can't wait. That's all I want to do. You want to share our bed.

I want the attention 24-9. I'm sorry, keep going. I liked your train of the high. You want to get married. So you're dying to get married. I'm not dying to do anything. I feel like I'm really happy. If that's the next door that I walk through,

that's the next door. But I'm super proud. But like I get to work with Ashley, build this business, do what we do. I don't, I don't dying to do anything. But she does want to like live with somebody.

And I'm like, I want to live in the same like neighborhood as my, you know, like long term partner. Like maybe same like, same building, maybe just like different homes.

I hope more people are able to like, to, follow that path if that's what they feel like and not feel that they need to move in with someone because that's the way it should be. So I, like, I hope more people feel free enough to live life the way you're going to be fucking engaged and married in two years.

But we thought that when we started the podcast. Okay, don't take us for another two. But I want you to finish your side. Sorry. You teach your kids to like be dependent and then show them. At 22, it's like get married. Guess what? Here's your surprise. You sleep with someone forever. Like, that's great. Congratulations. You just got someone.

when you share a blanket with, who has different noises, who breathes funny, who like gets up and moves. But that's fucked. That's some fucked up shit right there. I don't know who gave that to us. Yes.

Wow. And you become such a supportive partner. You like clean for them and cook for them and do their lodge. And then you hobble them. And then you also have to do all of that for them. And fuck them. And then blow jobs,

you know? Like, shit. Yeah. Too much. I hate blow jobs, by the way. I just put it in it out there.

You know what I mean? I don't even like, I don't even like sauce. So why the fuck would I like a dick in my mouth? You know what I mean? I'll have a dick inside of my face 24-7. Oh my God, I love it. You know, we need to have a multiple house of people

who can take care of all those jobs. You like a dick. You actually like a dick. I love a dick. I love it. In your mouth. In my mouth. I like the sounds that a man makes when you blow them.

See, I need an active participant. I need to be talking to me about how good it feels, how good I am at it. I want someone who's like really like cheers in the team. So if you could tickle their back and you'd like this is a bad. I love tickling. If they were like,

uh, like making noises. You, you like affirmation. Yeah, but I also like a dick in my mouth. I don't know. Like if their back was a dick in my mouth.

Yeah. I don't have anything else to do. I don't have four kids, seven kids. I'm not busy. You, okay, so you're like,

let's, let's blow job tonight. Let's blow job tonight. Let's blow job this morning. Wow. Okay. You are. Wow.

My husband is not listening to this shit. That's all I've got to say. I can't believe I don't have seven husbands. It's crazy. I'm just silent over here. Whatever. Yeah, on birthdays, you get him. But birthday.

One time my ex, I gave him two on his birthday and I just, that's when I retired. In one day? Yeah, it was my period. It was his birthday. Whatever. It was like, it was one time. But I was like, you know. There's not even enough hours in the day for one a year.

Like, you all are doing it twice a day. It was once, guys. Don't give me too much credit. Okay. So, but we just love this that you guys found something else, too. like to do and we've talked about that before. Me too. Yeah. We don't feel like we have much right now with, you know,

travel was a huge escape for us because, you know, I think every woman and mom out there who, no matter what you are consumed, you're consumed by motherhood. And then when you step away, you actually can't do it. And so it is. Which is great. Which is great because they have to take a step in and you can't control.

you're, they were, sorry, buddy, men respect, our husbands respect differently when you're out and gone versus when you're working from home. You know what I mean? Like, it's like they, do they actually don't know how to make breakfast or pack a lunch when you're there? But when you're gone, they have to figure it out. And like that was, that was such a great thing. I feel like for my, for my husband being a parent is learning for the first time that he was capable of doing it. because a lot of what a lot of women do is they just do it all because they know they can do a better and faster and more efficient, but usually the reason is because they've had more experience

because they've just been like, let me do it. So when we started traveling and going away, they finally realize that like they can either put a team together, which sometimes we help facilitate with like caregivers, grandmas and them, but that everyone survives when we're away. And that was really good for us to know too. And most women don't let their partners be capable.

So your husband's only as capable or your partner's only as capable as you let them be. So really at the end of the day, that's... If your husband doesn't know how to pack a diaper bag, it's not because he doesn't know how it's because you packed it every single time he left the house to the baby. Yeah. I mean, it's a different relationship when all of a sudden you get married and you, you're not a married couple, you're a partnership now where you're literally, you're managing people and your bosses together.

And I think it's just, you know, you don't have a lot of time to think. So you have to really put out there what you want. And if you want someone who is capable, you have to trust that they'll do it differently, but that they're going to get it done. And, you know, they're going to do the best they can and they can only be better by doing experience.

And your way's not necessarily a better way. You know what I mean? Like, you just got to, we got to let go as women and stop resenting people for not doing things when we don't let them. Yeah. Okay, I have a burning question. The stuff that we're talking about with,

you've been together for 10 years, you know, what your doctor said, the only way to, like, get it up and get juiced up as a new person, like all these, like, thoughts?

I mean, do you guys talk about this stuff with your husbands? Like, or is it super open communication of, like, the type of stuff you talk about in the podcast? No. No, no.

There's no time. New. Okay. No, I, I, I don't, I mean, do they listen to the podcast? Yeah,

Yeah, can they listen to the show? It's more of a reflective conversation than it's... It's not about us. Of course, it's about, you know, we're speaking for the women. No, really. Those conversations are more just like, huh, back. Like, it's like we're walking our audience through these ideas with us. It's not like we have a thesis on like marriage and fantasies, you know?

It's really, I think that as we become more confident mothers and women and we like kind of grow into our own selves, you know, we always say, we don't need our husbands. We actually don't need them. We choose them. And they kind of got offended by that way back when. And I was like, it's just a fact. I don't need you.

You know, that's more powerful that I choose you versus me needing you. And I think that when you begin to choose the person that you're with every day as an active choice, you know, it is just a different perception than needing someone. It's a different mindset that you need, you need this person. And, you know, I'm really thankful I have him and he's got a great. dad and it's not about him. It really isn't. It's just about this conversation that as women, I think we all walk into relationships to save men or to make them feel good or we become these women. We think we should be, which is like, you know, I'm going to cook, I'm going to clean. I'm going to,

I'm going to do all of this because you go and make money and I'll, you know, do everything. And then you grow up and the fuck is that. You know, you're like, yeah, and we don't have these open conversation. I think that there's conversations that you would like, can I, like, we talk a lot and we talk about deep shit. We talk about fake stuff. We fantasize about the world. And we, like, look at things like the institution of marriage and have a conversation about where it came from and how we feel about it.

And monogamy. Like, our husbands are just going to sit there and this is it going to be like, so what you want a divorce? Yeah, yeah. They're like, no, it isn't how what I'm seeing. Like, I just, I need to beat the shit out of topics with my girl, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that you just, I like this notion that you, like, trust them to do certain things instead of hobbling them. And you trust them to allow you guys to talk about certain things. You're not asking for permission for it.

And it's like it's empowering them in a certain way. It's like allowing them to be, but it's also like not asking for permission. I don't know how to like wrap it up really well. But it just sounds like you have these partners. You've really worked to like be your own people and you've allowed them to be their own people. And it's not easy. It's not easy. You.

You know, it's funny. It's like, I mean, our, we, yeah, we want them to go and be anything that they want to be outside of the house. My husband loves hockey. and my son is in like a high level of a hockey. And, you know, I know a lot of people like complain about them always being gone. And I'm like, it makes him happy. He likes to go and like, go. Like you go spend your three hours in the arena.

Like if that's what gets your, that's exciting for you. Yeah. Power to you. COVID is then like my husband and I were never like home together because either I was driving to dance or we have three boys and there was constant like hockey, baseball, everything. and now during COVID it's like we're always just there. I'm like, God, I miss those extracurriculars that took you out of the house. It gives you a life, you know?

Well, we want to talk about COVID and we also want to talk about sex, but I just have to say one thing. I think that what you guys have is so special. It's what we have. It's this best friendship. And it's so important because the narrative is that women are trying to find their best friend and their husband. And it's like, no, like that's your husband.

Have your best friend too. It's so important. Like you guys are a partnership. your business partners, your best friends, that's your other partner. So you don't put everything on your husband. I think it's this thing of like, I got to find this person that's going to take care of me and be my best friend and like have sex with me and raise children with me. And it's like, maybe we take the best friend out of that and we have an actual best friend.

I love that meme that it's like women stand up at the altar and they say, I'm marrying my best friend and your friends are all there and they spent $1,000 to be in your wedding and my dresses. And they're like, what the fuck? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like you say to your partner, like, be this comforting, safe place, but also surprise me and fuck me, but also be trustworthy and be my best friend. It's like, no one can be all these things. We talked about this a while ago. No one can be all these things. And to the best friends in the audience for the wedding who've been there with you for like 20 years. They'll be there when you divorce too. You know what I may. We were just watching, you know, that obviously like I watched The Bachelor and all of that. like we're just watching the 12 dates of Christmas. Oh my gosh, yes.

We love them. These girls always, what are you looking for? I'm looking for a best friend. Yes. And you're like, we're like, they're so wrong. Don't look to your man to be a best friend because you want to have children with him and you want to run a household together. So what you're looking for in a man is first lust,

definitely like attraction, but you're looking for a long-term partner to run like a business of a household with. You want your girls as your best friends. and my friend said this article once and she was just saying, we put so much emphasis on the friendship and relationship with your partner, but you really couldn't do it without your best friend.

You know, nothing is more important than that. So there should be more emphasis on who you decide to be best friends with. Like, think about that a lot before you trust everything in your best friend because that's the person who's going to be there that you can tell absolutely everything to and is going to be there when your relationship breaks up.

Yeah, and I love that you said that we need to think about these things as a partnership because like when I was getting married, No one ever said to me, like, what does the next, what does the future look like? Can this person support you? Are you guys to me? She was, I did that. Sorry, you could clarify. I was engaged years ago. But no one, including my mom, which I mean, probably is the only person I ever would have listened to it from. But no one ever said to me, like, can you raise children with this person? Are you going to be able to be financially stable with this person? Like, I loved him. I was in love.

He was good looking. He was a nice partner. But like, for the time, he was a nice partner to a 25-year-old. You know what I mean? No one said to me think about this. The other thing is that, you know, when you're engaged and everyone's happy and excited, they're like, he's going to be a great dad. You know what I mean? He's going to be a great provider. Like, they're just going to see him that way because that's what you want to hear. That's what you're going to hear people say. Yeah. So, I mean, just to wrap it up, I feel like you guys, your life is so great.

Your marriages are probably even better just because you have each other. You have this other person. I think it's like a really special thing. Okay. Let's talk about, you mentioned COVID. We can just talk about that in the one end with like some sex stuff. Yeah. I personally, I think about mothers all the time. I don't know how they do it. Like, you know, the mothers that were homeschooling their kids and just, it's changed everything.

And I can't even begin to wrap my head around the pressures and how much moms have had to do throughout all of this. And I know you guys, you've said it has changed you. We just want to, like, hear a little bit about how it has. You know, a part of me, I mean, I know that it will all be forever changed. I think, you know, some of our children will, the way that we do things will. But I feel like sometimes even when I look back into what's the hardest part about being raised in children and doing all this in COVID, I don't even know if I'm going to be able to know as much as I, like, right now until I look back and reflect on it. Because if I try to think too hard about how it's been, I don't know if I'll be able to like get up tomorrow. It's like I have you just got to keep on going on like a machine. Keep telling the kids it's going to. We say like often moms don't get sick. Like when everyone's sick in the house, they don't get sick until. there's room for them to like catch a cold or get the flu or get the thing.

Like, it's like you all dodge a bullet except that mom can keep on going and they keep it together until like they're allowed to. And I think that's very much what moms are doing right now is just, you know, we're just I like Nat said, I think we'll pick the pieces up sometime next year and be like, what? The fuck. Actually, like I don't actually remember. I think we're all just like, what day is it, what time is it? It's a lot of monotony.

It's a lot of. There's no time to our ourselves at all. So like when I think when we're out and we look back, we'll see parts of ourselves that are missing some pieces that need to be rebuilt in ourselves. I think our kids are kind of fine. At least our kids, we've given them a pretty great, like, fucking COVID. They're, you know, but I think for us, we'll find the whole. It's just going on a bit long.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I thought the few weeks was, I think all of us really came out of the gate super hard with, like, sourdough bread and all that shit. Now you see none of it. You know what I've seen a sourdough bread in a real long time. Can I ask you guys a question? I'm because I this is so foreign to me having children like I don't know how old all of your kids are but do kids really understand what's going on or do you explain that to them like what you're going through and what's happening? Listen I'm going to break your heart for one second that my daughter came home and said to me she's in kindergarten case so she's five and she was telling me how she's not allowed to talk at lunchtime and I'm like what do you mean she goes we all have to sit with our masks off in silence because when you talk you spread germs so we don't talk while we eat we just sit there and eat.

and it's silent. And I'm like, that is so fucked up as... And then side note, because we do have seven kids. Oh, right, because our masks are off so they can't, oh my gosh.

Yeah, they can't talk. A side note, a lot of my kids have expressed absolutely no concern, like no negativity towards being at school with a mask. Like, have not... Yeah, yeah.

No. It's just, for us, you sit there and you're like, because they don't know any different and that's what's heartbreaking. Like, they don't know that lunch is supposed to be fun and outgoing and boisterous.

You know, they, and like, they do ask, my daughter asked, when can I get, like, the little ones? When can we get close to people, you know? They want their masks off, but they're really good at wearing them. Like, they're way better than we are at wearing them. Yeah, and they, you know, restaurant, just little. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, my husband said, he works in a profession, whatever,

and there was an uproar that they had to wear masks for own men. And he was like, my fucking five-year-old wears it every day for nine hours, with outer break, suck it up and put it on. Like, come on, you know what I mean? Absolutely. I love what you said about, like, you just can't think too hard about it. You know, like, we started this year. We were touring in Australia. It was like the best two months of my life.

We were like, this is going to be our year. We had our whole tour planned. We had everything for the year. We were supposed to do our holiday show at Carnegie Hall. We had it in my living room. And so I can't actually think about it. And I'm not a mother and, you know, it's my struggles are nothing compared to like people that have had to raise kids throughout this and people that have to be

experienced loss and they've lost their job and they've lost family members. So I want to recognize that. But it's like I actually can't think too hard about it. I can't think about what we would be doing outside of the pandemic. I actually think a lot about the moms who are single moms who've lost her job and are like literally trying to pull it together. Like I really we're not all the time. I think about all the time like so many things, you know. So it's all on the spectrum. But I do think women can feel loss even though they have the privilege of having like a house. You know, like we all feel loss in some way. It's you can have those feelings. But we also acknowledge very much that many women are really,

the burden is so heavy on them, so heavy and huge. And people with special needs kids and, you know, who have special health issues who can't send their kids to school because of asthma. It's fucking, it's huge. It's huge right now for those people.

Yeah. We talked about that last week in our episode, like pain is not a contest. Like, it's everybody's hazard. There's not like a hierarchy, but I like to recognize of like, we've still been pretty good. But it is, it's like you can't feel it when you're in it. We will look back in a year and we'll know more.

You guys are really smart that you went to Australia because we got that offer like a year ago and we couldn't because we have seven kids and it was going to take us out you know all of our tours based around She's going to be able to go to Australian tour for the rest of the relationship having kids Yeah, you know what I mean?

It was too much. It was too much. We had to say no and fuck we kick our ass every day. It was just me wanting to go. I was selfishly wanted to like go see koalas and we were like can you book some shows? We took her to our agent like can you just book some shows Ashley wants to go to see koalas

That's what it was. But yeah, I wish. We're like, oh, God, how long that means we'd have to go for like two and a half weeks? That's really long. We even got a tour date. They're like, it'll be nine days because we're usually a week max. And we're like, fuck it, let's go. Bring Romeo.

Call Romeo. Well, we know you guys, you know, your time is limited. We wanted to at least touch on sex. Even my mom friends that listen to you guys religiously were like, I just want to know more about like, how do you maintain a sex life? Are you like having sex life? with seven kids during a pandemic. Oh, God.

I'm just like, please go back. I actually think, I think... I don't have sex in the winter. It's too cold. I'm a seasonal sex person. And so right now, too cold. You know, if you're not, if you can't, like, there's a windshield.

Why the fuck am I getting naked? You know what I mean? That's crazy. I feel like the opposite in the winter. In the summer, I wouldn't want to have sex because it's so hot, like I'm already sweating. I'm bloated. I mean, at that point, you're already sweating.

Why not? The windshield, why get colder? for the, I'm totally joking. No, I love this. I think advice for any, like, mom, this is like, listen, I have every excuse in the book to not get naked and do it, okay? I think that there's always time

for sex and for working out. I actually, I really do. And we don't do both. Don't do either. But there is time. So people are like, oh, my gosh. And I'm like, oh, I want to lose some weight. They're like, oh, but you must be so busy

with like your business and your four kids. I'm like, I can wake up early. I could do it at the end of the day. There's always time for it. Same with sex. So I mean, there's that. And then there's that, you know, when you have a lot on your mind as a mom,

the idea of like taking some time. Taking penetration is really horny. And like thinking about fantasy, when he gets home from work, we're just going to put those kids to bed. She might be like that, though. Yeah, yeah. I'm feeling.

Yeah, you're going to be a horn dog if you ever have a kid. You're big. 10 years in? 10 years in with three, four kids. I don't know. I mean, I think you'll always like a blowdrop. I think you will.

I think that that might be, I hope so. I think you, I think that that's, I think you will. I have friends that love it. Yeah. But how do you guys, okay, but this is about me. It's about you. Everybody knows I like to suck a dick. How do you guys like get in the mood or say,

or like literally find time? Aren't there kids in your room all the time? Right, but not too much. So you like, don't drink so much that you like pass out. That's happened. Like, you just got to drink enough to get in the spot where you're like, did I do that last night? You know what I mean?

After every late night live, she's like, I'm like, did you do it? I don't remember. I don't know. I'm like, I think if you don't know, you probably did. Yeah, totally. And the way I do sometimes is I say to Mark, I'm like, but I don't know, I'm like, so last night. I mean, it's like, if he's like, yeah, I'm like, yeah.

Or if he's like, what? And you're like, nothing, nothing. Well, and it's probably, I mean, it's, we talk about, we had a therapist on recently and she was like kind of what takes away the sexiness of a relationship is when you just kind of become the same person. You know, like you're just like so much sameness and you guys still have your own individual lives, you know?

Like, not the same as them. It's probably a turn on after you get done doing one of your like live shows and you're like, I just crushed it. I did this amazing thing. I should do more live shows. Yeah, they are very, you know what? We couldn't be sexier to our husband. They think like everything we do,

I swear everything I do, he's just like that, wow. And I'm sure to dig you down, yeah. Yeah, no, there's no problem there. I love that. I think you guys are both very sexy. I have sex of both you. Oh, thank you. She'll suck my dick.

You don't have one. Her lady dick. Yeah, you're a metaphorical dick. Well, thanks for answer that. We wanted to ask you, like, one more thing. If you want to share, if you have something like on deck, we just always like to end with like a little fun segment. Can you recall something fucking crazy that one of your kids is done recently?

That was just like, what the fuck? Well, we were watching. I was watching a movie. I don't watch, like, PG movies with my kids because I want to watch the movie and be entertained by it. So I watch things that definitely push the edge. So if they have kids that sleep over, like, we're not doing movie night.

Like, they have to go, like, watch a kid movie with their kid who's sleeping over. I, like, if there's kids over, I tell them to, like, leave my house. We're starting movie night because it's probably not going to be appropriate. I think, like, there's nothing wrong with them. Listening bad words are for adults to use and not for kids. Sex is something adults can do, but kids can't do. And we were watching this, like,

kind of like sexy scene and my one six-year-old, he's like, I have a boner and then my other son goes, me too, and they stand up in their little pants. What? Listen, I used to think

kid boners would be really weird until I had three sons, okay? I didn't know that they knew what a boner was. It's six. Like they know the word. Oh, well, we call it boners. I don't know. Okay, you guys.

With an erection. I have an erection. No, we always have an erection. You're dad, right? This is my worst. nightmare. I don't know. What I do? I'm sure you handled it beautifully. But I would have said the same thing before I had sense. I'm telling you, like, when one of them used to get like boners all the time, he was so proud. And he's like, look, guys, you'd like walk around. But these other two, very unexpected. And the one that usually gets, it was like, no. But yet, I guess they associate, they associated, and they both tend to know. When you told me that, I thought they all took their pants down and show. Well, hey, they did take it out and show us. Oh, James. And I was like, that is my daughter's like, no. I'm like, I'm like, like, That's like, you know, at a wedding?

How old is your daughter? Is she the oldest? Yeah, she just turned 12. She's just like, oh, God. She's so used to them. You're right. Like, you're just a 12-year-old daughter, like, seventh grade or sixth grade, and her little brothers all just, like, took their boners out.

I can't live. Did your brother ever take his boner out? That is, I never saw my brother's boner when I was a kid. Or if I did, I blacked it out. I didn't either. I didn't either. I go, Natalie, one day, they're all going to be like, you know, when you talk about your childhood is, like,

your like you're like grown-ups talking like your siblings. They're going to be like, oh my God, remember, remember? We used to all take our boners out at movie night and show our boners. And then all their friends are going to be like, how old were you? And they're going to be like 12. No. I can't tell you how much this would have mortified me before I had three boys. Like, no, of course.

Yeah. I didn't even want to see their penis and balls when they were born. I was like, oh, no. When your kids do something really fucked up that you have to reprimand them for, but it's so funny. You can't stop laughing. Like, what do you do? That's, I feel like that would be me as a mom.

I would just be laughing, trying to reprimand them. It's funny. It's funny. My four-year-old this summer was playing, like, basketball with my husband. Like, he was, like, lifting her up. And she missed the shot.

And she goes, Jesus Christ, God damn it. And Mark was like, he looked at me. I was like, oh, shit. I was like, I don't, like, this thing. I don't, like, when you hear, like, a little four, She was like, Jesus Christ, God damn it. I was like, oh my God.

And then my son recently, he was at hockey and his skates were dull because I didn't shut whatever. And he was wiping out and the coach didn't know him. He was doing the thing. And all you just kept herring was, God damn it. And he'd fall and he just kept screaming, God damn it. Now he's only eight. So I can only imagine.

And for some people that's like, you know, god damn it, all these are swear words. They would get in trouble at school. So the coach was just like, I just knew who was falling. I knew what was going on. I would just hear, God damn it from across the ice. And I was like, yeah, I guess I think it's a normal word.

You know what? We tell them, like, if it's so funny, we're just going to be like, listen, I know you think that's funny or like it was kind of funny, but like it's not appropriate and like let's kind of not do that anymore. But like, it's, I can't get super mad at them if it's funny. When we used to go to restaurants, that other, she like gave the finger to the, remember she was giving the finger to the waiter as he walked by? Oh, this is amazing.

She was like younger than four, teeny tiny, and she was like in a booster seat, and then she'd just be like this. She's the youngest of seven. You can imagine the things she's going to say. I know. She didn't know what it was, but all the other ones were laughing

and she's flipping off the waiter. She doesn't know she's saying, fuck you. She's just telling you to fuck you. Mine were telling me a story recently that like a little rhyme and I thought it was going to be really cute. And they're like, one for the money,

two for the show, three for the whatever, and the middle ones for yo. And that way ended up like this. And I was like, Wait a second. I thought you were singing like a song you learned at school. And this one's the yo.

Oh, okay. Also, the little one knows the Wop dance. No. Yeah. Yeah, she goes, yeah, they just... She pounds on the floor? Yeah, yeah. The boys, too.

I'll do the Wob. Yeah, and then my older daughter was like, oh, my God, someone at school did not know what Waps did for. I'm like, most 10-year-old and 11-year-olds don't know what Wap stands for. Your 10-year-old's like, what a loser all these other kids are. It's so fun. She's just like, you're like, hey, you have to help clean. She's like, get a bucket in a mop. Like, I can just see it.

She's like, it's wet ass pussy in case you didn't know. Oh, my dog ended up getting her period because she's supposed to be spayed. She's supposed to be spayed today, but she got her period on Friday. So now, you know, my kids, our kids are really worst on periods. Like, had I have tampons everywhere. Like, they walk in, we're changing our tamp and it's like, no big deal. And so my son's friend is like, so my husband overheard your son talking to my son. my son about your dog getting her period.

I don't think my son knows about that. I go, oh, if you have any sex questions, you just get your son to ask my son. You'll lay it out for you. This is sex. This is why we get a period. All the things. Send him over here at a boner night.

We all take her boner night. She also had a bath with her dog. I didn't know how else to. She got in the bath. She was naked and took the bath, the dog, bath with the dog. I didn't know how to be. Spade the dog.

Yeah, I know. Of course, she had a period. That would be crazy. It's a crazy. I have a male dog and it's just, I forget that like, female dogs like get periods. It's like so, so crazy. No, my dog will not.

She will be spayed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But even like once, I would be like, what's happening? Oh, right. Like a period. Me too. It's shocking when you see it.

You just forget it happens. Oh. I never had a dog. I don't, this was, no. It wears a diaper around. Yeah. Yeah. And she, I'm like, I'm not touching that diaper.

She's like, I'm not touching the period. I'm like, you're the reason I got a stupid dog. No, I'm not. That would be me. I'd be like, I know that I'm not helping. I'm sorry. Well, these stories are amazing. We love talking to you guys.

I wish we could have you forever. But I feel like we could wrap up and tell everybody where to find them. Yeah. Tell us, plug all your stuff. Your shows. Yeah. Instagram where people can find you. Literally cat and that everywhere.

And we're a catnap podcast, Mom Shrews. We pop out three a week. We do late night live where it's virtual events. We are going back on tour. We have dates as soon as we can get back out there. We have launched the Tay Livy brand that's T-A-Y, L-I-E-I-I-I-E-I. That is a brand for teens to women. It's a brand with a mission.

And then everything else we do is just the Social Common Collective is our business arm right now where any entrepreneur can go and learn about how we grow our business and how they can do it too. And every single day on Instagram, every single day on Facebook, everybody, I cat, net. And what's your, all this stuff is on your website, which is great. What is the website address? Katnat.com.

That's CA. No, no, some bitch owns.com. I don't even know if it's a woman. It's probably a man who just is sitting on dot com. One's like $12,000 for dot com. Okay. That's a CA. Yeah, and I love the brand.

And you guys work with your eldest daughters to create the like they get to collab. I love it. It's really cool. Yeah. It actually is a 12, 12th year in the making brand because when you have daughters who you don't want to try to fix as they grow up. You know, we're really passionate about not fixing our daughters.

We're about empowering them to say, fuck it from an early age. So we're not, you know, going back, trying to teach them who they should be. And just be you, babe, whatever you are. Minimizing the scars. That's amazing. And you guys talked about that a lot to you guys. You guys are listening. Go listen to all their podcast.

I love that you. That was a whole other thing. If we had another hour, we would touch on of like empowering your, your girls. But for another time. Well, thank you for having us, you guys. We really appreciate it. Thank you. This is fantastic.

Us too. I want to call Romeo. We'll talk soon tomorrow. I'm like, I heard you muff dived on stage, Romeo. We haven't had a muff dive before. Oh, I got to send you guys the video.

We'll send you a video. I want to see the video. With Rain his man watching the whole thing. Yeah, just like... You've had a lap dance, but never a muff dive. I stopped it,

but I got a good, I got a good egg plant dance. Not from Romeo from our other one. All right, all right, guys. Well, thank you so much. It was such a pleasure having you. We hope to see you, like,

in person, one day. Oh, That'll be a day. All right. Bye, girls. Ladies. Oh, it's girls.

We prefer it. Okay. That's it for us, guys. You know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com. We are Girls Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram. Raina. dot Greenberg and Ash Hess on Instagram,

Girls underscore Got Eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash Girls Got to Eat. Yeah. Merry Christmas, guys. Happy holidays and have a great week. Bye.