Girls Gotta Eat - The Way You Carry Yourself is Sexier Than the Way You Look feat. Mike Johnson

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

In this hot episode (alternately titled "Rayna Makes It Weird"), we are joined by author, podcaster, and Bachelor Nation fave Mike Johnson from his hotel room, and chatting about dating, self-love, jealousy, and more. Mike shares why a woman's looks are not the sexiest thing about her, how to develop confidence from within instead of via external validation, and how to stay grounded in a social media obsessed world. We're also asking him our listeners' questions and what he's looking for in a partner. Before Mike joins us, we're catching up on some iconic moments from our tour, giving fresh TV recs, and diving back into breakup content with more tips for managing your anger/emotions and how to deal with an ex who won't stop coming at you. Enjoy! Follow Mike on Instagram @Mike_Johnson and check out his podcast Talking It Out. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Living Proof: Go to livingproof.com/gge + code GGE to get 10% off your first purchase. Bright Cellars: Visit brightcellars.com/GGE60 for 60% off your first box. Must be 21+. Some state exclusions. Pretty Litter: Use promo code for GGE for 20% off your first order at prettylitter.com. Truff: Get 15% off site-wide + free shipping with code GGE at truff.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's your relationship status? Can you tell us? Yeah, I'm single. Okay, love that for us. I love that for you. I don't love that from my empty hotel room. Another episode of Girls Gotta E! Oh my God, I'm so excited about this today's episode. We and today's partners.

I'm just, we're feeling really good. I'm doing amazing. I just said to Ashley, I'm doing such a good job at work lately. I am just feeling so, you know, I love October. I love the fall. The weather is on point. I'm just feeling like we're like on top of the world. We learned yesterday the rich guys are getting their tax returns in October.

So it's a great time to start dating. And it's a beautiful day out. Mom let us work in the courtyard today outside of the office. I was like kids, we're meeting in the courtyard. What did you say? You're like, it's when the teacher. It's like, when the teacher lets you have class on the lawn. That happened very rarely for us.

I can't like once a year. My best memories unlocked are when they would roll the VCR into the room. You're like, fuck yeah. The teacher's hung over. That's what I said at our show. I was like, you realize we had a lot of teachers at one of our shows. I was like, you guys are all going to be hung over tomorrow. You're going to roll that VCR into the room.

These girls are 20 in their 20s. They're like, what? What is the VCR? We have so many teachers at our shows. I love them because you know they got to wake up at 5 a.m. the next morning and deal with little kids. I'm like, have fun at night, bitches. And they're always so lit.

We're back, guys. We're back from a crazy week. Five shows, Minneapolis, Denver and Phoenix. You guys were wild. It was so wild. We know it would be. we will kind of keep this recap short because I mean, literally don't care.

But, um, about your stupid line shot. A lot of crazy stuff happened. We had a dream come true with an engagement in Phoenix. Our last show with the trip. I just, listen, I did coordinate a lot of that. And I was DMing with the guy. And I couldn't believe it was like happening.

Like I was messaging with him. And it was just, it was so incredible that it worked out and that this couple, her, that's where she wanted to get engaged. And he did too. And then they got engaged at our show. and it was really special. It's on my TikTok if you want to look. Ash has.

So congrats to you guys, and thank you for making my dreams come true. It's all I've ever wanted a live show. Yeah. It's for somebody to get engaged and we like ended the run. It was like the last thing we did. Like we got offstage after that. We did our toast and I forgot part of it and we said good night.

I was just like, I said your line and then you said my line. I was like all just kabbi. I got backstage. There was black makeup all over my eyes. I was crying on stage. I was like, let me get that cassidia though. So I always leave.

So if you guys really want to know if a place has a cassidia, like usually a comedy club, I'm a fellas laughing. I will eat half before and then leave the rest and eat half after because it sits well. I like a room temp cassidia. Yeah. And where did I leave a note? There was one city that was like,

don't clear this. And you were like, did you leave a note for the waste? Also, it was ground meat and you took you. Ashley, like, doesn't like a lot of meat in things. She will pull the protein out of stuff.

And so like this pile of ground chicken, on the plate that you were digging your fingers in. I just did it just now with my wrap. I know. I don't like too big chunks of meat or even seafood. Like I don't want a jumbo shrimp or even a jumbo scallop. Too big to bite into like a chunk of an animal is too much. You know, I've always had this for me. What? Oh no. When we go to Wawa and get sandwiches, I always get extra meat. You can't always hide that part of it. I always make sure I'm blocking the screen so you can't see it. That's so funny. You're extra meat. and I'm like, what's the opposite extra? Just less meat.

Less meat. I don't know what it is. Like, it's biting into too big of a hunk of meat or an animal. Like, I don't know what it is. Like, if I see a shrimp that's too big, I'm like, nope. Oh, I have a question, because I don't actually remember this. Your parents are pescatarians. Did you grow up with a lot of meat in the house?

I don't remember when they became pescatarians. We grew up as kids, like, eating everything. Like, they've never been too big on the red meat, but we had like steaks here and there, sloppy Joe, stuff like that. Probably more like chicken. and fish. Like, we've always been, like, on the healthier side. But yeah, my parents went full-blown pescatarian. I don't know. Maybe when we were in, like, high school. I don't love chewing steak. I don't like the way that it feels in my teeth. Yeah.

Too tough. I like small bites. I eat fast, but I do like a small bite. I like to eat with a little fork. My ex used to call me Big Bites Greenberg. All I do is take big bites. I love big bites. You have a big mouth. I do. It's like a good dick. Yeah. Another crazy thing. I can let Raina speak on it. but we wanted to, that happened at the shows that we would love to happen again. We just kind of, these shows are getting crazier. We're doing so much more stuff with you guys in the audience. We're kind of veering away from like the long stories because like they're just getting wild and every show is different and that's what makes them so fun.

So you guys are still sending us in stories. Keep doing it. We just, we don't, we're kind of moving away from that, but keep sending them because if something hits right, we'll use it at the show. But we like shorter. Like, here's what's happening here. I'm bringing this person to the show. I'm bringing my boyfriend.

yada yada. I want them to propose. If you want to tell me that, let me know, message. If any of you want to get engaged at the show, just let us know. But it has to be legit. If you find out that you've already been engaged and you just want attention, wow. Wow. I'm kidding. Ashley can step a lie out. I know. I know. I'm like, that's not a real reaction. But yeah, do you want to tell this thing that happened? Well, this girl, she's an icon Carly. Every Carly

is always the most fun in any group. And we were saying also, every Carly is like crazy, but not too crazy. You're embarrassed to bring her out with you. Crazy with a K. Crazy. huge big time K energy crazy um anyways this girl carly i'm not kidding five minutes where we walked on stage was like my friends are coming to the show i couldn't come feel free to roast them and i was like okay give me the dirt and she is such an icon and she was like and she all girl she just like broke it out every single girl so much shit talk on i mean good nature it was very funny um yes like one liner she's

queen of roasting and we roasted all her friends they were like yes do it like we ask them first we're like this is okay with you guys we have the video i want to make sure they're okay for post a video. Again, it's just their first name. So hopefully they'll say yes and we'll post this on YouTube or something, but it was incredible. Like every single one-liner about these friends was like hysterically, I could barely get through them. I thought I was going to have to leave the stage. It's actually like one of two times. If you were at the LA show at the Will Turn two years ago, it was the only other time. It was as funny. I thought I would have to leave the stage. I forget what happened to me where I was like, I can't live. Can't breathe. Yeah. Like I'm laughing

too hard. I can't breathe. I started fanning my face and thinking about funerals. That's how bad it was. I was like, people died. People died. So if you guys have like just whatever, like stuff about people in the audience or you can't make it, you want to roast your friends, get their approval first. You know, we don't want to really embarrass anybody that they don't see it coming, but, you know, we'll always ask first too at the show. But let us know, stories at girls got eat podcast.com, you're coming to the show is literally anything. And then if you remember this while you're writing the email, tell us where you're sitting, because the next show is from here and out, all which are sold out are Boston, three shows at the Wilbur,

and then the Chicago Theater and the Beacon in New York. So those are big venues. We need to know where you're at. If we're going to be talking to. to you. And while we're here also, dress up for Boston, not full mask, not full hamburger, nothing you can hide weapons under. Don't bring a weapon. And don't bring a weapon. We're going to do pat downs. We are. You know what? Bella, email the security for the boss for the well-bber. And tell them, send them my photo and ask for photos back. You know, I love a security card. We need a look book. And this is the last call for Cancun. There's still some tickets left. So if you guys want to come party with us in Cancun, do it. The show is going to be crazy. We have a

pole side show. We don't even know what's going to happen. I was like, get bottles of tequila and put a little topper on it because we're going to be pouring into people's mouth. I don't know. It's in the afternoon. So just come to Cancun if you feel like you want. You need a little getaway. There are still packages available. JFL escapes and that's on our website too. Yeah. And then by the way, just people have asked, it is a ticket to the whole festival. You see every show. You see Nikki Glazer, Tom Segora. There's tons and tons of people coming. So come. Our show will either be Friday afternoon or Saturday afternoon. We will let you know on We do not have a 100% confirmation.

But just come there by Friday and you'll see us. Yeah. And people like to know where we stay. When we were on tour, we stayed in a couple really incredible places. The Halcyon in Denver. It was in Cherry Creek. That area of Denver is awesome.

I mean, it's all like fancy. It just feels like the fancy part of Atlanta. Like this Cherry Creek area, I was like so excited about the hotel is stunningly beautiful. I was just floored by all of it. Water stations on every floor. You know I judge a hotel based on its water.

With bottles. Every floor. They had like a tap with like, If you want sparkling water, still water, hot water for tea, and then branded bottles. Every floor, you guys. Unbelievable. They had a rooftop. Unreal.

With a pool and live music. It was gorgeous. A great place to take a date. Great restaurant. Hot guy on a date there. Two restaurants downstairs. Local Jones. Local Jones.

Yeah. And Quality Italian, which is in New York City. Yeah. I used to work for that restaurant group. Unbelievable restaurants. We just loved it so much. The hospitality was great. 24-hour coffee bar.

I walked up when they said that I was like, shut up. Like, I couldn't even believe. 24-hour coffee bar, little brownies there, any kind of coffee you could want. Water on every floor can't stress it enough. Ashley's dream. We're going back to Denver. And then Ashley and I decided to take a couple's vacation

after our work vacation. And we went to the JW Marriott Camelback Resort in Scottsdale. We just had the most amazing time. I have never spent any time in Scottsdale like at a resort. Now I understand why people go to rehab there. It's just, people don't go to rehab at the JW. Or maybe they do. I don't know.

But we had an amazing spot day there. The food was great. We great food at the spa. We got massage. We had a really nice dinner by the fireplace. It's just we, the rooms were unreal, massive, great views. So if you're in either of those areas or you're looking to take a cool vacation, we can't recommend those places enough.

The Camelback in, everything is incredible and beautiful. Arizona is just such a vibe. Just cactuses everywhere, cacti everywhere. Cacti. So many photo, cacti. So many photo ops. I'd tell you this. We got back Monday evening.

Yeah. So we left Scottsdale Monday morning. I got a DM from this guy. this is what he wrote word for word. Six, five, 27 years old, liberal. I'm perfect for you. He lives in Scottsdale. Why did we not fly back?

I just left there this morning. I don't understand why he didn't slide in 24 hours earlier. He got to come to the spa, the camelback spa. Ride his camelback. I don't know. That didn't make sense. Is that a thing? Camel toe?

Camel back. I'll show you my camel toe. And then you can blow that back out. What is it? Get up in this camel toe. Like your backer back out. Okay. Okay. A couple other updates.

If you're at the shows, if not, you know, you can fast forward 30 seconds. I just want to let you guys know, Minneapolis. The whole city was invested in what happened with this guy that came up on stage. So just so you guys know, nothing happened. But I feel like I'm back on my bullshit. There is a security guard that slid into my DMs. While we were on tour, I won't say where he works because I don't want to get him in trouble. But you guys know I love a security guard.

He said, I wanted to say your show was both hilarious and erotic. even though I wasn't able to chime in due to working security, it was still entertaining. Me and my buddy had quite the talk about you girls after the show. Go knock them dead. This was insane. Okay. You know what I'm thinking we do?

We like update some of our language on our website and ticket sales to say this show is both hilarious and erotic security guard at the film or whatever. That is so funny. You know what I mean? Oh my God. What if that was our Instagram bio? Like, just that. The show is an erotic

security guard. That is really... Well, speaking of erotic, our guest today. Oh, my God. You guys, we have Mike Johnson on today. He is just a specimen. He is so hot. His voice is so hot.

His whole energy of obsessing them. He doesn't follow me on Instagram. But I haven't followed him either. To use Ashley's terms, he is an absolute human. He's an absolute unit. I feel bad at the beginning of the episode. I didn't cut it.

If I was embarrassed about it, I would cut it. I did give him kind of a backhanded compliment. But I owned it because I don't like compliments like that. But I was worried, you know, some of these people that have been on reality shows, specifically The Bachelor can feel not genuine. They can feel a little corny, you know. They spew a lot of stuff. Not all of them, obviously.

You know, we love Kendall, Caitlin. We've done stuff with people from the show. But they don't feel real. And he felt real. And he's just so awesome. And he's just so beautiful. Like he came into the Zoom. I was like, fuck me.

But literally. Yeah, like, but literally fuck me. Raina makes it weird. So get ready for that. And one thing I have to say just to give a little heads up, because we talked about this before we like officially were recording with him is we were joking earlier with him about Dale Moss. And I think what happened was this was so funny.

I think you said we discovered Dale. And Mike said party city discovered Dale, which was just so fucking funny. if you know this, Dale went viral for being a party city model. And he, one of the costumes that really stuck out, stuck out to everybody was him in this taco costume. And I have a taco costume as well. I don't know if it's from Party City. I forget where I got it. I've had it for years. I wore it, I think, for the first time in Halloween, 2015. And so it's just funny because Mike kind of references like a taco. It's good. It's funny. But that's the backstory is, and if you guys don't know, Google Dale Moss Party City Taco and you'll see. But it's just funny. And Dale is funny about it too. Like,

Yeah. Speaking of Dale. Do you Dale's story for me? This is just funny. These girls last night, they came to one of my shows at the stand, and then I had to run out and I was coming back to the stand. I'd run an errand, whatever.

And they're walking towards me in the street, these three girls. And I feel like they're fans. They know who I am. I could tell. By the way, they were looking at me. And this one girl rips her mask off and she goes, are you going to meet Dale?

And I'm a stranger on the street. He yelled to see you. So, like, I get up close to a bed. I could tell they knew me. And she was like, are you going to meet Dale? and I didn't know what she meant. I just laugh and I'm like, what? Like, ha ha ha.

I was like friendly about it and she was like, girl, you're wearing a backpack. And I was like, oh my God. She's just doing bits out of the street. And even when I talked to them for a minute, they could just come to Minneapolis. And when we walked away, I apologize, I was like, girl, I'm so sorry to get that joke. Like she was so quick with it. She saw me walking up. So I had this new backpack.

Yeah, I don't even know about this. Of ours. Okay. They're going to start coming up on some older episodes. Lululemon. We're so excited to be partner and we've that. get ready if you hear Lulu Lemon ad reads and this really fun mini backpack because I want a backpack for when I'm biking around on a city bike like a small one. I bought one of the crossbody

Fannie Pack's my first one. Love that for you. Thank you. But anyway, it was just so funny that she saw me a backpack on and she was like, you're going to meet Dale. I was like, how did I not pick up on that joke? I'm going to the comedy club for my third set of the night. I'm not here not understanding jokes. You were tired. I know I was tired. I did a day yesterday. I was passed down the street. Yeah. Ashley and I haven't had COVID so many times. It's crazy. I don't have COVID, but I did have to lay down on a bench yesterday morning. So if anyone saw me, around 10 a.m. I was laying on a bench, like, a homeless person, honestly. I just love that our fans are like so hard for fans. I love that our audience is so, like, quick and funny.

And like, you said this last week and I just like, I echo it so much. Like, I've never felt closer to them. 10 billion soup tags. Thank you for stopping sending me the soup memes and just tagging me in your soup video. Yeah. That's what I go. Love. So you guys have just been so great. and we are so amped to do these shows coming up. And I think that our plan is release, we will announce the new live shows. Tickets will be on sale in November. And we have new merch in November.

So it's soon. Early November. And we're going to do things a little differently. We're going to do it like everybody else does it on this earth. And we're going to give you a heads up before. So if it's like November 8th, they're all going on sale. We will tell you next week. So you don't need to feel like, oh, my God, I got to listen.

We want you to listen for a thing in the morning. But we will give you some heads up. on when everything is going to go on sale. So we've never done that before. We're just like, hey, what's up? It's on sale. Get after it. Someone's like, I had a doctor's appointment.

No, it's sold out. You know what I mean? So we're going to be a little bit better about that, giving you guys a heads up, doing it like every other performer in the world. And that's that. I don't really, people want an update on the guy that goes to me,

the little Frankie's date guy. Like people, I posted the video on TikTok because they wanted it over there because I'm blowing up over there. And people in the comments were like, give us an update every week, even if there's nothing to update. There is nothing to update.

I know, I would want an update every week too, though. Because, like, I'm just, yeah, even if there's nothing, I just want to know that we don't know anything. And this one girl said on that video, she goes, okay, so we can kind of hear his voice. I think the snack heads are going to get the CIA involved. And I said, bitch, people think he's in the CIA.

Yeah, that's real. I mean, that's the only thing that any of us can think. It's so funny. Or he died. Maybe he just didn't like me. Or he died. No, that's not what I think. I do not think that a man that's spent the entire night with you does not like you.

Whatever. He watched your comedy, took you out to dinner, went back to your place. He liked you. Oh, and then these girls came here and went to Lil Frankies, like where he took me on the date, this girl, I always messaged with her. She lives in Atlanta. She came and, like, they went to eat there.

And she tagged me. I was like, I'm so glad you guys are having meals in my expense. Like, it was funny to me. It's on the Ashley Hasolitan Bus Tour. I know. I also love that this guy, like, can't see comedy anymore in New York. Like, the two best clubs in New York. I mean, I think the stand is the top, top, top, but also the seller.

And like, this guy can't go to the stand anymore. Well, he could go. He'd have to see when we were, like, on tour somewhere. else. This guy's like checking my tour schedule. He can only go. They're in Chicago. I can go to the city. Right. He can only, I know, but like all the other people there know him too now. They don't, nobody knows. That one girl saw him, the one he lied about going to

college with. That's true. But she's not gonna, I don't even think she would really remember. I mean, it was just so under the radar. At this point, it's been so long. Like, what I even recognize it? I don't know. Hope it was worth it. I recognize his watch. Here was a cardiac, you guys. There's another tidbit for you. Okay. What color? It was a stolen cardi. I'm kidding. He was a big cardiate. Because we were looking at each other's watches. because I, he had a Cardi, I have a Rolex, whatever.

He's a big tank, Cardier. Okay. The traditional, like, men's, big men's watch. I put it on. I was like, ooh-hoo. Okay, so there you go, guys. He's another piece. He's like, this picture's obsessed.

Well, I don't care. I'm obsessed for you. That's why we keep talking about it. I don't care anymore. Everybody else cares. Also, I want to give a shout to Raina because she has, I'm usually like the witch of the group, but I'm, like, I know stuff before it's going to happen.

I have, like, a really great intuition. Raina has a good intuition. too, but lately, she's been on top of it. She predicted a breakup of one of our guy friends. Raina was like, I think him and his girlfriend broke up. On it. She was right. One of the guys at the venue, you said he was hot before everyone else realized it.

You texted us on the group chat. You said Clint's hot. I was like, what? And then later that night, I was like, wait, he is hot. I have an ex that I never thought would glow up. And Raina said he's glowing up. And I'm like, no, he's not. And then sure enough, the next week, he glowed up.

You've just been like kind of a creep. Our intuition has been on point lately. About being a creep. It's very funny. that you notice potential of guys being hot before anyone else. Like, Rain will be like, that guy's hot. And everyone's like, ew. And then like, an hour later, we're like, wait, he is.

I just, I'm attracted to a lot of people. I'm a really sexual person. And I just, everybody I look at, I'm like, what I or wouldn't? I'm like a dude. Like, I think that, like, men are just like, I wouldn't or I wouldn't. Like, men have like two buckets. Like, yes and no. And like, that's what I'm like, too.

But Clint, like, it was one of those slow roles. It was kind of like a second impression Bobby. Like, night one, I didn't see it. Again, thought he was like an attractive guy. But then night two. I was like, he's hot. Also, all these people are behind masks when we meet them. So at the venue, they're always trying to like, they're masked people.

But I mean, this day with my ex-Rana was like, he's glowing up. I was like, he would never. Because my whole thing is when I date people, they glow down and then they get married. But Rada was just like, I think he's getting hot. And I was like, what? And then Sharnah, what? He's revenge body. You two should start a plan together, a workout plan.

Keep each other accountable. I just, I'm like. I can't get a revenge body. I'm not sad enough. Oh my God. What else? It's still breakup season. It's still, people are breaking up left or right and they're emailing us all the time. We made it through Mercury Metrograde, but it's still the anti-cuffing season. Yeah. But yeah, speaking of breakups, we obviously did a breakup episode a couple weeks ago and you guys have just sent like so many amazing messages to us and to me personally, just sharing your stories of what you're going through. And one of the things that like is echoed so much

like I just, I can't let this go. And I think that sometimes it happens because you're just like communicating so much and you get upset, you get drunk, you fire off a text. Yeah. So one thing, and I talk about this a lot,

it really helps me to like write everything I'm feeling on in a word doc, not in the note section of your cell phone that you can have with you while you were drinking, put it in a word dock, leave it at home. Because I think what like continues the cycle a lot in breakups in general is that like you get really angry,

you write a bunch of stuff in the notes section to your phone and then you have two drinks and you think it's a good idea to fire it off. And it just keeps the cycle going with this person. And the relationship, The relationship doesn't die, you know? It's still just like there. So not like a hot take, but like if a war dock is offline, keep it at home on your

computer, you're rarely going to have a couple drinks and fire that off to the person and start a fight and be embarrassed and feel like you didn't handle this in a classy way. Well, even with anything with conflicts of your exes or your current partner that you're fighting with or your friends or your boss or whatever, like just you've got to get it out. So you can scream it out, you can work it out on the Peloton or whatever, but you can also write it out and just like you have to let it leave it. your body, you'll just let you, like, you'll succeed inside. And if you are a person who likes to write, who likes to tip-tap type away, like, just get it out and on, in words, on paper, it does

help. Like, I've always done that. I used to be, I mean, I was just joking earlier. I was like, unfortunately for my ex, I always hit send on those. But like, I'm better now. I mean, that was years ago. But, you know, to this too, we have, we have a close friend that went through a breakup right around the same time as Raina. And, you know, she's good with the breakup. Like, she's doing fine. She's back on these streets, you know, going on a date. You know, but he has kind of been, they were like long distance, so he's been reaching out from afar and just really,

it's a lot. It's too much. She's, I just, and I, she will tell us kind of the stuff he says. And it always is stuff that feels very intentionally crafted to elicit a response from her, to anger her to the point of like,

rage, yeah, like, you didn't love me enough. Or, you know, that's an example, like stuff like that,

like stuff to, to trigger you to respond. And so, gosh, I mean, we could do a whole episode. on this and we could like list out what those things say but I've lived through this you probably live through this like our friend is living through this as we speak like these certain messages that

are designed to make you mad and make you be like I loved you so much like they don't they don't mean that they're saying the right things some people are very smart they know exactly what to say to rile you up to get a response out of you and they'll keep going with these things that are really meant to get under your skin to the point that they just want to engage with you and I know it is so much easier said than done, but just don't engage. Or just like, sorry you feel that way, keep it moving. Like, you can't go back because you will do it forever. You will do it forever.

I had an ex that did this, like, always with the things of like, you never did this or you did this or you did this and like bring up stuff from the past that I would feel the rage inside my body and I couldn't really help myself. And I've been able to take a step back and realize that people, not just men, I mean, women too. Like people do this with an intention and they don't even mean. They might not even mean it. Like, they might not even mean like, you never loved me.

You know what I mean? Like shit in that vein. Again, we can compile some more of these and read them on episode. I could do break up content forever. But just don't buy into it. You know what I mean? A lot of times they're drinking or they're, you know, freaking out and they're projecting it onto you.

And so the more you can ignore because the more you give it air, the more it like flames the fire and they're just going to keep, you'll never stop. Yeah, you got to close the loop at some point. And I, it's so easy to like lean in. It's so hard not to. The drama, like, I don't want to call it fun, but, like, it is, you get all charged up. You tell all your friends about it.

You're like, I can't fucking believe you did this. You send all your friends, everything on a group chat. Like, everyone's mad. You just, it is, like you said, easier said than done. But, like, you got to close the loop at some point and just walk away from this. And they might not even believe what they're saying. They're just trying to get a response from you. Like, one of my exes would kind of do a thing that he knew I would need to defend.

He would say a thing, whether it was recent or it was from the past, it was from a year prior that he knew I couldn't let go. like he would bring up something that happened and twist it because he knew I would have to be like, that's not what fucking happened. Do you know what I mean? I'm screaming. Like that's not what happened. Oh my God.

And like he might have even known deep down like he, he, I know. But here you are freaking out and showing me emotion. Because it's not that they hate you. Like they still, they love you. Like when you're that mad about somebody,

you still love them too. Or it wouldn't bother you. Are you still feelings for them? You know, they say the opposite of love is indifference. Like if you feel indifferent, the emotion is gone. So people do this.

And we've just been trying to coach our friend. She's a little younger than us. I'm like, this is what he's doing. Don't do it. And I feel like it's been a journey because it's hard. But, you know, it's practice. Yeah. And we've said this on the show before,

but like I think when you break up with somebody, you want to know, you want to feel like your narrative of what happened is their narrative. And so whether they're doing it on purpose or not praying on your insecurities, when somebody says this thing happened, that they know that that is not necessarily.

necessarily what happened and the your knee-jerk reaction to defend it is you saying like, I want you to think what I think and I want you to see the situation. It doesn't matter. You broke up because you don't see things the same way. And I think the grief is a process and just like when somebody dies, the relationship is a death and it's over and you're going to go through a huge range of emotions. And that's why I like suggest writing stuff in a word doc as opposed to like on your phone you could fire it off because I write stuff down and I'm so angry. And the next day I'm sad and embarrassed. And then the next day I'm indifferent. Rain is queen of this.

I am. Day one, rage, write it out. Day two, you feel better. Day three, you don't even need to send it. Yeah, and that's how I feel. Like, it's really, really helped me to like, I mean, as I was growing up, just get better at this. Because I think grief is a huge process.

And every day you're going to feel differently the day before. And how shitty does it feel like, if I just waited 24 hours, I wouldn't have sent that, wouldn't have opened this door, you know? I heard Drake on an interview. Hear me out. Hear me out. talking about the 72-hour role, which is for like a scandal or something, like not if it's really bad, of course, but not like it's an assault or something like that.

But for celebrities, like you go viral for something not very flattering or you've done something. And a lot of celebrities, their inclination, a lot of people, is you've been accused of something or somebody's making funny or you're trending on Twitter. Your inclination is to respond. But if it's really not something that's like a cancelable offense, something really terrible, a crime or whatever, and assault, things like that, then it will go away because the next thing will come into the news cycle. It's different, but I'm saying like he's been a person that waits. Like stuff people popped off about Drake here and there.

And I don't know that Drake's the same. Like don't get me. I think Drake can be problematic in some ways. But you don't really see him like needing to defend it right away, pop off, start, you know, start the stuff. I think he is a person that like takes a breather and like waits it out. In three days, it's gone. And you don't even remember it.

And so I, it's like a 48 hour rule, maybe a 72 hour rule. But I just kind of like that of like you will not feel how you did today in three days. A hundred percent. I love that, actually. I think about the Chloe Kardashian thing with that photo that got released. And she, like, made herly statements and it spiraled in this whole thing.

And then it looked like she wasn't being body positive and this, like, bad bitch you thought she was. And it spiraled in so many news cycles. And it was like, if she had just never said anything, I would have never known it even happened. It's a stric end effect, too, is what it is. Now we're kind of spiraling, but, like, I could talk about this shit forever, too.

It's like, oh, my God. The Chloe Kardashian thing made me feel crazy because I was like, if you never even mention this, if Kim wasn't telling people to take it down, no one would have given a shit. And you would have looked way more body positive. 100%. And like everything in life, time, you know, trust in time will tell all,

Justin Bobby. Is that the quote? I don't know. I love you. Imagine Justin Bobby. Time and truth. We'll tell all. No.

Yeah. So take a breather and just don't play into these people doing these things. And you know, something else we were talking about, Rana, like recently. Like we've talked to us on the podcast. It's not a hot take. But like the urge to share inside jokes. or to be like, I'm watching our show or something like that. Like, you mentioned that.

When after you guys had broken up, you were like, I just want to tell them this funny thing. I was like, tell somebody else. Like, you tell me. Yeah. Find a new memory with somebody else. Like you got to fill those voids because those are the things that keep you going back. Season three of Succession is on. That was our show.

We always watched together. Watch it with somebody else. Watch it alone. Cook your hella fresh. Watch it with your dog. Don't text your ex. You know what I mean? Like you have to replace them in these ways.

And you just said that one time to me. And I was like, don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah. don't do it. I mean, any time that you can just do something else. And then if you wait 24 hours, you'll feel better, you will have filled your life with a different experience. And the quicker you can separate the better. Yes. And I know you guys are thinking like, no, no, I saw this funny thing. We always joked about this thing. And then I saw it on the street. Don't do it. I'm your mom. Don't do

it. Tell Ashley. You had a joke about a Kia Soul. Damn Ashley. You saw one on the street. You had to take a picture and text your ex. I don't talk about Raina's X. But don't do it. Send it to somebody else and be like, hey, me and Trevor used to always joke about Kia Sol's I send these jokes to you. Tell your best friend. I'd be like, say less. Sure. Text me all the key of souls you. The ugliest car. They're everywhere. It's a pandemic. That car is a pandemic. That's what I'm saying. All right. Well, speaking of comedy, we have a recommendation for you guys. Where are we speaking of comedy? Like an hour ago. Can I'm talking about to stand a while ago? Yeah. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. We have a recommendation

for you guys. Our friend, Ricky Veles, who's an unbelievable comedian, you might have seen him touring with. Aziz Ansari and Pete Davidson. You've seen him in the King of Staten Island also. He's a friend of ours. He's wonderful. He has a special coming out October 23rd to the day this podcast two days ago on HBO Max called Here's Everything. The promo photo is amazing. He's just butt naked. Yeah, I went to the taping. And you went to the taping. He's wonderful. We love him. I went to the taping. Can't recommend it enough. Like I can tell you like I've seen it. You know, maybe some edits here and there. But was just really so, so good. I brought Robin Allison. both loved it too, and we just can't recommend enough. Check it out, you guys, HBO. Yeah, HBO's just killing it. HBO Max. I'm just, I'm in these, oh, and also new succession started. Did not disappoint.

It's one of my favorite shows of all time. If you guys haven't seen it, it's basically based on the Murdoch family. It's a New York City media family. Everybody is just a cutthroat sociopath. It's like really well done. The drama of it all. It's really phenomenal. If you like family drama kind of shows,

if you like the Sopranos or Mad Men, you will love it. Season 3 is. out. The second episode came out last night. Unbelievable. Okay. I watched Season 2 Love on the Spectrum, which I just love. And I just love Michael so much. I know. There's a lot of the same characters from season one and some new people, too.

So Love on the Spectrum on Netflix, season two. It's about people who are on the spectrum and them dating. It's filmed in Australia. It's just a feel-good show. I know. If you guys, I'm hardest recommend the first season two, it really is special. I like, should we have Michael on the show? I just love him. I'm watching The Real Housewives Reunion. I can't get on that's four-part series. just roasting Erica Jane.

What? What happened? No, I just, I had my other show. But I already recommended it, Queens, but it didn't disappoint. Queens on ABC, streaming on Hulu, also the 90s girl rap group that comes back together. It's got Eve, Brandy, one girl who was never in a group. And then the fourth girl, which I didn't realize she was in 3LW. 3LW. Yeah. So they have three like actual singers, performers. Sorry, I interrupted you. No, that's it. I don't have anything else to say. That's it. Real House was in Beverly Hills, four-part reunion. And it's just lighten up Erica Jane. So, I mean, listen, I don't want to watch anybody get bullied.

But, like, I don't know if you apologize to the victims and said, you felt bad for them. Maybe people would stop doing that. Amen. And then I'm watching New Vanderpump. I don't know, reluctantly. We've got to get back to L.A. Do our tour. We've got to get back to Sir.

February. I miss it every day. Oh, yeah, February. Teaser alert. You guys, we're going to be down the whole West Coast. We're going to announce that soon. Announcing it soon. All right, guys.

We are so excited about today's guest. He is a former contestant on the Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise. He was a huge fan favorite. He is a mentor and spokeperson for Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America, a U.S. Air Force veteran, author of Making the Love You Want,

and host of the podcast, Talking It Out. Oh my God, you do so much. Welcome to the show, Mike Johnson. Thank you for having me. That was kind of a dope intro. I really appreciate it. We had to hype you up because you're homeless, jobless, and what is this? Living in a hotel room.

You have no money or job. Yeah, yeah. I'm broke. You said I'm a mentor, a big brother's, my mente. He's like, Mike, you're on TV, bro.

Why can't you buy a nicer car? Because I drive a 2014 Ford Focus. And I'm just like, bro, I'm broke, you know? Just let me be. I love that for you. I drive a 2003 Nissan Exterra. They don't even make him anymore.

It's like a... There we go. There we go. Mike, I just have to say that you're so cool already. We were like chatting with you. And we were just like, oh, is you're going to come on here and be like all corny.

And you're not. You're really great. so we're like, I'm really impressed already. I don't know if that was back. I think that was a little backhanded. It was, but it's all good. She's like, we thought you were going to suck, but no, you're right. I don't like to give compliments like that.

I just, you just seem like super real and fun and cool and chill. So I feel like we're off to a great start. Let's do it. Off to the races. So just to gas you up a little more because you are living in a hotel. You are living in a hotel in Austin. We asked our listeners before we recorded, what questions do you guys have for Mike Johnson?

So I'm just going to read you a bunch of those. You're starting with these? Oh, yeah, I'm getting right into it. Oh, I thought we were going to, you're going to make it weird. Yeah, you're going to start. Okay. That's my vibe. I didn't know that's okay.

Wait, hold on a second. Actually, it's not ready. Mike, are you, what's your relationship status? Can you tell us? Yeah, I'm single. Okay, love that for us. Okay. I love that for you.

I don't love that from my empty hotel room. There's two beds. You can buckle over that place. Do you like to have a bet? Do you like the two? I don't go for two beds, but Raina does because she likes. I have one bed for my suitcase.

Yeah. Your suitcase gets to sleep in like a comfy ass bed. She doesn't like tuck it in. She just like puts it up. But I always go for like a king room, but Raina likes a two queen bed. Are you just taking what they can give you because you're like on a budget?

Yeah, give me, you know. It's the points, the Mary got points. Also, I feel like two beds is always a bigger room. Even if it's like an extra 20 square feet, it's a bigger room. Thank you. I'll give you that. That's true. All right. Fair. Okay. So you are spatially conscious.

Okay. So Arleigh, yeah, I'm going to make a weird right off the bat. I didn't know you were going to do this to start. I was just like, I'm so embarrassed. Don't do it. I just didn't like, I haven't looked at these. Like, I don't know. I just got a glimpse. I'm like, what are we doing here? we should make t-shirts and see like Ashley just screaming like, Raina. Yeah. Okay.

Raina lives to just like embarrassment. It is true. I did do this this morning. I was like, this is the first thing I did. Okay. So Mike Johnson, here are the questions our listeners have for you. What is life like after the bachelor?

Also, what is your phone number? What is his type? Is he single because I am in love? Will he go out with me? If a woman asked you to spank her, how hard would you go? Will you, will you marry me?

when he when does he want to come get a piece of my fine ass how did you get to be so fine tell him Alexis in Austin will leave her amazing sweet boyfriend for his yummy sweet ass hopefully Alexis boyfriend didn't hear that I should change your name

I didn't Alexis boyfriend's outside the Marriott right now Mike come down come down right now Mike I'm by your 2014 piece of shit car will he marry me? I'm already married, but we could do brother husband. And then people got kind of specific

for the next couple ones. I have no questions, but Ashley better get with him. This is not a question, but fuck Ashley. Get in his pants. Oh my God. And I'm going to just answer.

I'm going to end on something I'd like you to answer. What makes you a good match for Ashley? Please be specific. Cool. Yeah. Sorry, Mike. I didn't know those were coming until the end.

I thought we would have known each other better before that happens. So, but no, definitely answer that. There's definitely answer that. While you dress up like a taco, I'll make sure I eat the tacos, and then I'll make you laugh. That's a Dale Moss reference, if you were, no, we were talking about dressing up like tacos.

And I did, yeah, the spanking thing, when you just, like, to interject and say hard, I did like that. So we'll talk after. We'll talk offline. Okay, so you're living in Texas. You wrote a book about last year that I was reading through this morning, and just like reading the general topic. So maybe we could like start there a little bit.

So so you wrote this book. It's called Making the Love You Want. What was like the inspiration for doing that? Yeah, I wrote it last year. It came out October 2nd. So we just hit our one year anniversary. It's pretty cool. It was World Smile Day.

So it just still happening. All coincide that way. When I wrote the book, actually, if you see the dedication, it's dedicated to my friend Courtney, she took her life. And I just got pissed off a lot of different things. I had a lot of friends for me, suicide.

And I saw this picture. this little girl like eight years old on IG. And she was like looking at a Victoria Secret magazine and hunched over and had some scissors and was like trying to cut her stomach. And I remember when I was in the military, my commander said, don't come to me with a problem unless you have a solution. And so I thought that this would be kind of cool from a male's perspective to write a book about self-love and like to also be a little bit vulnerable to.

I love that. I mean, I love that quote in general too. So I mean, I feel like we're at, we're in like a weird place because we're in this world of self-love and body positivity and everything, but it also feels like people are probably more insecure than ever because of social media and they are comparing and you live in a world that can be, at least when it comes to The Bachelor franchise,

like a little narcissistic and comparisons and everything's based on like followers and likes and all that stuff. So how do you stay sane and stay grounded in a world like that? I'm not going to deny, right? There's been times where I'm like, damn, this person has four times the following or two times the following, we were on the same show, right? And at the end of the day, it's not my business.

And then also the easiest way that I've been able to deal with it is, I've got some dope-ass friends and family members. My sister keeps me in check. My homies keep me in check. Like, Mike, just continue to do you and stay in your line, bro. You know, and so that's all that's what I'm going to continue. I always do. So that's very helpful to know that.

I still got my people that love me no matter what. It is kind of cool when, like, because we're talking about self-love and social media, right? And a lot of our following comes off of two things. One, how good you look and then two, how nice of a person you are. I don't care. Nobody says that's how we get our followers from the best, right? So it is cool when someone's like, oh, you look better than a person. That's a back kind of compliment that they give me.

But I'm like, fuck it. Oh, well. You know? Well, like, I can't, I can't be mad at what someone else, who they decide to follow, who they decide to do. That's just, it's just wasting my energy, you know, wasting my happiness. I can be happy or something else in life. Mm-hmm. I actually, that compliment, I don't take it negatively at all,

because when you put something on social media, you're like, sometimes it has a filter. You know, it's just kind of like you chose like your best looking self. So when we meet people and they say you look better in person, I'm just like, that is 100% a compliment to me. Like, you know what I mean? So anyway, yeah. But I can understand how you would feel,

especially like in like Bachelor Nation that this is like a crazy popularity contest that you're up against hundreds of contestants and people that start on the show, fan favorites, etc. That like it can really specifically feel for you like a popularity contest. But, you know, I feel like that is, I feel like that. I think everybody feels like that that's just in the world and in a social community. So is there like other stuff that like other self-talk you have to like make yourself feel like I don't need to compete in this contest?

It doesn't really get to me as much. But if ever it did and nor does still, I say I'm like motherfucking Johnson. And that just gets me, that's like my personal motto. I swear I say it before I do a speech or anything. That's just it makes me know that I am worthy. It seriously does. And also on my phone, I'm like really big into this, right? You can't see it, but I have my apps clustered and it says like, I am cultured, I am resourceful, I am organized, I am wealthy in living in a hotel, I'm connected, you know, I'm open-minded, I'm punctual. And so I'm really big on that. Everything that I see is just positivity and love. Well, and the friends and family is such a huge part of it. I would show you all a message. I got like three different group chats. One of them is just me

and one of my homies then. The first of every month, him or I will say, it's a new month. How you feeling, how you doing? How's your mental? How's your financial? Like we, it's like a three minute. How are you? I love that. We check in a lot. I love my homies. They're great people. That's really great. Like the first of every month, you're like, got to check it. Is the first of them? Yeah. Wake up. But I think it's really important. We say this all the time. It's important to just like build that network. And if you don't have that, you know, start thinking about ways that you can do that and invite more people into your life. Because I mean, ultimately at the end of the

there's always going to be people that are better looking than you, more popular, richer, have a better job. I'm always going to be up against people that have, like, more of that than me. But, like, that doesn't make me any less XYZ. And, like, I think it's easy to get caught up in that cycle. But it's just like, if you're in it, you'll never get out of it. You've got to just, like, free yourself from it. Honestly, it's really no big deal if someone looks better, someone got more money

and memory that stuff. Well, the only thing that matters is because I tweeted this out yesterday. We're not exactly. I said fact. The way you carry yourself is sexually than the way you look. That's just how I feel about everything. I don't care what someone looks like. I don't care if you want to cover whatever magazine,

the number one TikTok girl, none of that matters to me. Like, you cool people, you cool people. And that's just how I try to live myself. And for everyone listening, who really gives a damage about the exterior that someone else has? You don't know what they're dealing with behind closed doors. Right. So right before we started recording,

we were talking to you about people dating you, you're dating in the real world and somebody's sort of like penalizing you or having this like big social following and having been on The Bachelor? Exactly. Like there's, I know lots of girls that have said to me. I don't like a guy that's on social media. I'm like, shit, I really don't care to be on social media, but I get paid. What you mean? Like, you want to be honest about it, right? Like, what? Okay. I think that's just because like I probably have a bigger DM selection, right, than if I wasn't on social media. Oh, that's what they mean. Yeah, they're feeling like jealous or something.

Well, I mean, that's not my fault. They should just be a confident individual. Then at the same time, I have to do my job to instill confidence in them that I still want them and only them. So, I mean, don't penalize me for something that I've not done. You know, and so I don't like that aspect of it. Literally, there's one young lady I was dating. We stopped talking. She started talking somebody else.

And she called me and we kind of debriefed or whatever. And she was like, yeah, this guy that I started talking to, he was just coming at me so hard. And he didn't know me. He was kind of just hating, right? And like one of the rules in the man rule book is don't behave on another dude that, especially we don't know that man, right? And he kind of got in her head basically and made her feel insecure about herself to date me. And that's some weird stuff I never thought about when I go on TV and I come off TV that

I can make the woman feel insecure just because of a number that's on IG. Yeah. That's ridiculous. I think it's ridiculous because I don't date just a girl with a million followers. I don't care who you are really. I think you can be intimidating to date a guy who was like, like, yeah, had such a large following and a female following at that. And those girls don't know you.

And they're sliding in like, I want to show you my titties. I want to like suck that dick. Whatever people say to you, I'm sure it's classier than that. But I think it can be intimidating. But I also think at some point, like you have to say to yourself, like, I am worthy. I am good enough just because all these people slide in does not mean he's going to sleep with him. And if he dies, like, then that wasn't a person that respected me, you know? It's the exact same way when a guy comes up to a girl at a bar.

You know how harder that is to do, first of all? Like, two are very attractive ladies. For me to come up to you in a bar, I have to have some level of confidence, right? And you as a woman will smell the lack of confidence off me, right? And so it goes both ways. I need a woman that is a confident individual. I should feel a type of way about that following, but I just need her to be confident and just know that I'm going to do my part to instill that confidence within it.

Yeah, and we always say, like, you can't, could people get jealous and insecure and then they kind of try to control. And it's like you can't ever, you can't monitor someone at all time. So if you're like worried that someone's going to like cheat on you or DM, it's like they can do that whenever. Like you have to like release that need to control because you like literally can't no matter how hard you try.

You know, and you just drive yourself crazy. You know the good thing about like a dig against me. But the good thing about a girl dating me and she was in a public eye as well is that it's going to be easiest. It's going to know if I was cheating. 100%. It's easier to know somebody like you.

Exactly. Like, like, so she should be in a really happy smile. Like, right. Somebody would, I'm never cheated for the record, but somebody would like, oh, that's Mike and some other bitch. You know, like, yes. A hundred percent. For your regular ass men, it's so easy for him to pop down to Miami and meet some bitch and sleep with her. And that girl's not thinking I'm going to tell us weekly. She doesn't fucking care about your dusty man. Exactly. We should all be trying to date famous people. Okay. People know who you are. Like, it's like Tristan Thompson. Like, how did he think he was going to be? Yeah, his dick rubbed in public at the club. He's like eight feet tall, just like,

everybody knows what he looks like. You know, I love this. This is what we should all be trying to do. My bad, to the regular homies out there, I'm a regular guy myself. Yeah, I'm trying to only date you is that like, when they're in public, some bitch he's going to take a photo and be like, your man's tripping.

Yeah. I like this thing you talked about in the book, and I don't know if you want to, like, elaborate a little bit on it. But like, and it goes with social media. We've talked about it a little bit, but like unchaining yourself from, like, the need for external validation.

I do think that we all, desire to be validated. I'll argue against anyone else in that regard to, because I think that there's a thing of toxic positivity as well, right? So I do think that we all desire validation, but it can come within. For example, right, I have asthma.

And I feel so good when I go from hotel to hotel and I find my inhaler in my damn backpack without even thinking that I packed it, right? Because then I can trust myself, like, oh man, you took care of that. Right? You can do it within yourself. You know what I mean? Like when I, if I say, I'm going to go to the gym and I actually take my ass to the gym.

That feels good to myself. I don't need it from no one else. It's something that I did. Just me, myself and I. Or I'm really, really big on it being nice to people at, like, restaurants and stuff. And so if I make someone else's day, it makes my day. I mean, there's a million things you can do in comparison to saying, damn, one of my homies from the show got better abs of me.

Because a lot of them do, right? They're still like Mike motherfucking Johnson. Well, Mike motherfucker fucking Johnson take your shirt off. Let's see it. Oh, my God. I've been single for like five days. And listen, it's just, I'm... Oh, my God.

I'm so much more eloquent within my book. I'm just like being raw right now. No, we love it. We love raw. No, but I just think that's like, you have to maybe sometimes take a conscious effort to do these things. Like, I don't know. Yesterday was like on the Peloton.

It's like, I want to get to 250 or whatever. You know what I mean? That has nothing to do with anyone else. No one else is in the room. This is just me and this stationary bike. You know, I'm not going to post on social media afterwards. It's just like a thing I'm doing alone, no one knows about it, that I'm like achieving. That's just me, you know?

So I think being like conscious of things like that is important because I think a lot of these, the stuff doesn't come naturally. People say like, how are you so confident or how do you this? How do you that? It's like some of this stuff is we all have to work out. I think even being happy is something people have to like work at. So why would you not work at the little things that bring you internal validation as well? Exactly right.

It is something we got to work at. I think it's like Legos, right? Being confident, being happy, being positive is simply just one on top of another. It's simply that. Like, I'm 33, about to be 34 years old, right? So my homie, he told me to something other day. I've been this way since like sixth grade. I said something to him, and he still remembered it from sixth grade.

I'm like, well, that's crazy. But just practicing out of every single day. That's all it is. That's literally all it is. You can absolutely love yourself tenfold if you just trust yourself. If you say, I want to do this and you actually do it. Like, for example, I want to read it. 40 books in a year, right?

So 10 pages a day, you got to get to it. But when you do that, it makes you say, damn, I actually can do something. It's literally the small thing, I promise. It's none of the big stuff. It's like, when you know, when your relationship, your spouse is always like, it's the small things that matter most. That shit is real. I like this idea, what?

Except for what? Small isn't always best. Yeah, we know. Thanks, Mike, we know. He's like, I want to clear it up. He's like, I'm not. fall. It's this fall thing. This is clearing it up.

All right, take that out too. What was this interview? I like this idea. I'm like, our assistant could only hear like our side of this because like we have our own person. Mike took his dick out. You just can't see it. Ashley asked you if you want to be a part of this interview and you said now.

We've talked about this on the podcast before, but like this need for like external validation and you can almost like get it by being nice to others. And every once in a while I just like to like check out people and be like, I like what you're fucking with. I like what you're doing. That looks great. You look great. Like I've like what I've been doing on Instagram, like whatever. And like people always say like,

how do I make friends? How do I build networks? Like that is how. Like check in with people and like talk to them about like what's up with them and what they're doing well. And don't do it to have some self-fulfilling thing where like people are nice back to you. But it does build community to me to check in with people. We want to be like, I love what you've been fucking with. I think it's really cool. Correct.

I think that we don't give people their flowers enough. I'll text one of the humby's like, bro, what you did was pretty awesome, right? Just out of the blue. Like, and it makes me feel good that I can, you know, share love to somebody else, you know. That's just what we should do. I'll tell my home boys, which I shouldn't have to, but I do. I'm like, oh, you're such a great dad, you know, because all my own kids. Those little things, just telling people that, you know, I do it, it helps me out, makes me feel good, just to be a nice human being.

Okay. So all your friends have kids, where did you grow up? I don't know. That's where you're actually from. Is it Texas? I'm from, yeah, I'm from Dallas originally.

Oh, you are, okay. What's it like that all your friends are, like, wifed up with kids and you're not? I don't mean that as a dig. A lot of our listeners say,

like, you know, I'm the only person that doesn't have kids amongst my friends. Like, are you happy about that? Do you feel like I'm free? Like, you know,

that's us. So I'm just curious. No, because there's like times or one of my homies, he's like, bro, you can come over all the time.

And I'm like, you got the lady and the kids there. You know, I don't, it's just like, I'm respectful, but it's a different dynamic. You know, when he was single, no kids, on none of that, I just pop up there. Hey, bro, let's go. You know, but down, we got, we have dinner. It's a family ordeal. We're probably watching a kid show because my niece is not going to see her name, but she, you know, she has to watch her shows, right?

And it makes me want, you know, children, definitely so. But at the same time, they tell me all they crazy-ass stories. and I'm like, shit, you know, I got to make sure I find the right person, you know. Yeah. Ashley and I say it all the time. Like, there's nobody in relationship that we look at. We're like, we necessarily want that, you know? So I think about that, guys.

You got to, I feel like the move is always, you got to just go over when the kids are asleep. That's like, I feel like that's the women's way to do it. You go over, you have the wine. Like, when the kids go to bed. Like, I'm not going over. It's like bath time and we got to watch a kid show. Like, I'm not trying to be a part of that. I'm like, what time?

What's their bedtime? because I'll be over that. 9.30? Great. I'll show up. He said they're sleeping. I'll be there now. Yeah. I want to ask,

do you have anything you feel like you've learned in your relationships over the years? Not that you would go back and do differently because I think we all live and learn and that makes us who we are today. But when you look back and you're like, God, I'm so much different now. I've learned so much of how to be a better partner,

be a better date or be a better person in relationships. Yeah. The biggest thing is that it's okay to not have to talk all the time. Like I used to always be Let's say I was in this hotel room with my girl Like I think it's okay to Be in your own world within that room

Right? It's like little kids on a playground They can be running around by themselves But it's a bunch of people running around right I think it's okay to Now I used to be always on top of my girl Like if we're in this room I'm holding her right beside the bed right

And you know sometimes you want your own damn space right And so that was something I had to learn Mike it's okay let you grow up stay on the bend and just chill by herself. Yeah. That's so interesting because I feel like, I mean, I mean, my love language is all the love languages, but I do like touch a lot.

I like somebody on top of me at all times. And I think that so many women do want that. So it's interesting that like you were so extreme with it, that people were like, you can stay on the other side of the room. Maybe that was just her. I'm thinking about my ex. She was an English woman, so it may be different. I don't know.

But I know what you mean by needing to like physically separate a little bit and feel like I can do my own thing. And just because we're not physically together every second, touching, talking every second doesn't mean that there's like this divide between us. Yeah. So there's like a parallel play, associated play and ISO play, right? And so we could be, let's say if we're, it's Sunday football, I'm watching my football, right, watching my Cowboys.

And it's okay that we can be on the same couch and you on TikTok or whatever, or whatever the case may be. And we're still together, but we're not, we're in our own world, if that makes sense. I love that so much. I would always say that with an ex of mine. I would be like, I'm going to be there Saturday for your football games, but I'm going to be doing my nails.

And like I would get my whole like nail set up. And like I even said that the other day. I was like, I just want to be like in a room with people. I really like being around people. I'm an extrovert, but not always talking and needed to be on. So it's like I like,

they're all kind of in the room working. We can all have our headphones in. We can all be doing separate stuff. But there's still like a sense of community. And there's like a presence. Like you're not alone, but you're not needing to fill the space and talk. walk so much. And it kind of felt like to me, like, maybe that's you were saying. Like,

did you feel a need to like, always be talking, always be communicating? Yeah, like, you can just. Ashley's like, I want to go out to lunch with you and not talk to you and be on social media. We do that. I had, but. Ashley and I spent every waking moment together. Um, not every moment, but we spent a lot of time together. And we were at lunch together and she was, um, just on her phone the whole time. And I snapped at her and like, everybody in the restaurant watches at the point. I love quality time when we're physically together but do it or she does. There was one morning I was at your brother's house

recently and me and you and your dad were talking on the porch. Me, your dad and your mom were talking on the porch and you were there. You were just on your phone the whole time. You do love that. I like to be, I want people around but just don't bother me. No, I'm just kidding. I like to talk to people too, but I get it. Like a cat. You know, the cats sometimes want to be in the presence, but leaving you fuck alone. Wait, that is so true.

I'm a dog person. I'm right at the dogs right here. he didn't want to make an appearance today. But I think as a personality, that trade, it's more of that. Like, I want to be here. Don't touch me. Don't try to cuddle with me. But I just want to be in the room. I'll come to you when I want you.

I'll rubble against you when I want you. Oh, that's so true. We just had therapy session right now. I feel so good. I know. Mike got me all figured out. You guys are going to date. It's going to be so cute.

I can't wait. It's going to be so great. I'm going to move to Texas, not pay income tax. Should we wrap up with like a bachelor question or too? Yeah, sure. Ashley's like, no. And Mike's like, no, I agree. People just want to know, like, would you be the next Bachelor? People ask you. We think you show. We know you're the fan favorite. Would you do it? I don't think they'll ever want me to be the Bachelor.

Okay. But like, because we're like too spicy and like too cool and like not. No, I'm not too cool, but I am spicy. I'm always saying what's on my mind for sure. Definitely so. You cannot be managed. Yes. I'm trying to say is like in the way that I would never be on the show. you know what I mean? And that kind of like Rachel Lindsay has been this like outspoken person that like over the years has gotten even more and more where I feel like the franchise was like damn. You know, and I love that. I feel like she's just such an icon of my eyes. So I don't know. Like you kind of need to be a person that they can make you who they want to be a little bit. Yeah, that can't happen to me. That's what I say. I think that that's better. I forget if you or the writer in this thing that I was reading compared to the popular vote in the electoral college and you said like I won the popular vote. but I can't win the electoral college. Like, the powers that be won't let me do it.

And I agree with Ashley. Like, I don't even know that I would necessarily like, I mean, I'm not good for television. I am like the person that's always in the principal's office, always in HR. Like I would not be good. I was the kid who's every single, every single year, the teacher wrote on the report card like Raina cannot be controlled.

She will not stop talking. Yeah. Ashley has problems of authority, whatever. You guys understand me. You understand. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I, you know, I always say that, like, we see people, and this is not a dig.

Like, we're, you know, I mean, I think there's a lot of problems within the Bachelor franchise, but I've always watched the show for the most part. I've kind of outgrown the traditional show. I like Bachelor in Paradise still. But I feel like we see people as a contestant on the show, and then we really like them and we think they're like really fun or funny or spicy or whatever, and then they become the next Bachelor or Bachelorette. And we're like, they're kind of boring.

Like, they're kind of like, it's just, it's, they become more producing. like there's so much of them. You know, we saw these like little tidbits of their personality and then they are just, it's so much. And I feel like it's probably really exhausting. Someone said this quote, they were like, I feel like we've seen Matt James as like more of his personality in this snippet of a

trailer from Dancing with the Stars than we did all of the season. You know what I mean? Like we don't really see the, who these people like really are when they're like so controlled within the franchise. I think it's a, it's all the leads. I think it's hard on them as well because, you know, the show has a structure

that they like, like you were saying. And you got to fit into that structure. You know, I remember when I was auditioning to be the bachelor, I was like, look, nothing against country music, but can we get like some R&B in there? Never. You know, like, you know, so it's kind of like, so I feel for the leads as well.

I was, uh, I was with one of the leads this past weekend and I consider a name and, uh, we were just talking about it. Like, it is hard. It's hard for them to completely 100% be themselves. But I'm sure at the same time, it's probably on them as well. I'm sure it's 50-50 because they also want to perform well so they may be portraying themselves in a certain light. I think it's probably a mixture of both. Yeah. If I was the lead, I'd be like everything I say is

going to be shown. Like I would be so wary of like getting it coming out the right way. And I think it's also just tiring. Like I remember watching Ben Higgins. I just thought he was so cute and so great when he was like a contestant. And then when it was his season, I was like, he looks tired. They are tired. That's what I'm saying. I feel for the leaves of time. Yeah.

Like, how do you even get your full personality up and you're like, oh my God, I just want to take a nap? Yeah, they're extremely tired. Like me, I think it was a blessing that I never had watched a show prior because, like, I'm on the TV with my do rag on. I'm just being myself, like, I don't really care. You know, this is, this is what it is.

This is what you're going to get. And so now, you know, I know that every single snippet that you said, everything you say can be judged. That's what you... It's so funny. It would be these people with Christian, like a Bible verse in their bio. That'd be talking about us.

But I mean... Every single time somebody says something terrible about me on an interim comment, I go to their bio and it's like love, happiness, live and let live. I'm a psych major. So, you know... It's always...

We were just... We were talking about the Dimeleo show, and Charlie DeMelio said, most of the time, a girl that comes at me and says something so mean, has spread positivity in her bio. Like, it's just, it's like astounding. It's, it's so true.

Like, this is my one thing that I, that women probably don't like it. I say women talk so much shit about the Kardashians. But 80% of their goddamn followers are women. It's not the man. It's the other way. And so it's like, come on now. Where are we going to be at on this?

It's a lot of woman on woman crime out there on the internet. Yeah. I had, uh, oh, one more question. It seems to me, tell me if I'm wrong, like you're talking about your friends and your friends that you check in on. It seems to me like you have a large circle of friends that are not part of The Bachelor.

Is that accurate? Yeah, I was at ACO this weekend with my home and I'm going on TV at all. Yeah, and I love that because sometimes I like see these people just become only friends with each other. I'm like, do they have friends before? Like, I'm always just like,

it seems like they become this like click and you never, but maybe they're just not like posting stuff with their other friends. But I think that's probably so important to stay grounded is to have a close, close circle that's not people that are on TV. Completely. I completely agree with that. But I think it's a bit of both, right?

So when I'm with my TV homies, whether that's or some other show, it's an understood thing that you're going to take pictures, that people are going to come up to you, X, Y, Z. And it's all good, right? When I'm with the homies pre-TV, they may be like, bro, I ain't take no goddamn picture to you. If some girl come up to me and don't ask my name and just says, oh my God, Mike, hey, here you do, take a picture.

What just happened? I feel bad for my homies. his name's so-and-so, can you please respect him as a human being as well? And so you get both of it, right? And then when it comes to social media, if I were to post my homies and I will get 60% less engagement

than if I were to post somebody on TV, which is absurd, right? But that's how the cookie crumbles. My audience wants to see me or me and Ashley, and that's about it, you know? Yeah. But I think it's natural to want to gravitate towards people that understand your experience.

I mean, I can't even tell you how many sentences I start to Ashley where I say like, you're the only person I'd ever say this to, but X, Y, Z, you know? Because, you know, one of you people that understand your experience, but you've got to stay, like, grounded, of course. I'm super grounded. There's not many of us in Austin. It's just like three of us, three or four of us. That's not like New York, L.A., Nashville.

Right. Well, I would just like to wrap up by doing a call back to a former question of what you think makes you a good candidate for dating Ashley. It's so awkward. I don't want to end it on this note. Do you feel like you guys are going to date? Raina, you're making me uncomfortable. Would you shut up?

Would you go on a day? Listen, we go to Texas. We'll be in Texas in January. We'll be in Dallas and Houston. I should come to a show. We're going to sell out the Beacon Theater. Ashley is selling out the Beacon Theater in December. Come to a show.

Let's go. Our umbrella is so uncomfortable. Everybody is uncomfortable. Mike, I do want to ask you, though. what kind of this is not for me sort of asking for a friend but what are you looking for

like what do you like in a partner you know I get I ask this question that when I'm by myself I'm like how should I respond to this and I always forget I come up with like the perfect response and then I forget

We have time we'll wait No she said we have time we'll wait I can only say you can pull your notes out okay I'm coming up in your mind I do have one of those

someone who is adventurous someone who has a passport someone who is my biggest cheerleader, but then also my biggest competition. You know what I mean? Like, so you're a comedian, right? And let's say I am a influencer. Let's say that, right?

I want you to support me, but then also I want to see you doing amazing things as a comedian so I can support you. Like, damn, my girl, she's on it, right? She's doing it. You know, I find that attractive. I find that extremely attractive. My girl has her own world.

I love that. Bella, can you grab my passport? She would just want to... That is Ashley. If you just go to Girls'Gotty.com, you'll see all the shows that we've sold out. Ashley's doing great. I love it. I love it.

I love it. Mike, thank you so much. This has been so great. We appreciate you coming to us from your hotel room. We hope you get a home soon. We hope you upgrade that Ford Focus. I'm not upgrading for it.

That's a fan. I'm running. He's like, that's how I stay grounded. And then guys, listen to his podcast, talking it out. You recently had two of our recent guests on.

You had Dale Moss. You had Kendall Long. They've been on the show and they were really great so they can check out the episodes really recently, right, in the last few weeks? Yeah, the show is new, right? Was it new this year? Yeah, this year, January came out.

We just had Dale on maybe like two weeks ago and came to loan maybe like a week ago. So, yeah. So I'm going to wait for Dale to break up with Claire and then interviewed him. Oh, my God. Well, the table hasn't even spoken on that. Yeah, you could have had the exclusive,

but now we're going to get it. And he's going to wear the taco costume. We don't know. We'll harass him to come on. I'm going to text them right now. Oh, my. I just texted them. All right.

We'll tell everybody if you want to, I mean, your podcast talking out and then if you plug your Instagram account, you feel a website, whatever you want to let people know where I find you. I'll plug this right here. Go to bbbsb.bysb.s.org. That's big brother, big sisters. Dot org. Become a mentor, especially the fellas out there. We're kind of slacking in that regards.

And then if you want to check up my podcast, I think it's pretty dope. talking it out. Awesome. Okay, well, thank you for being here. This is really so great, and you have been at such a good sport. I know I'm such a fucking creep, so thank you so much. No, I love it. I love it.

Thank you. All right. I appreciate it. All right. Bye. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Got a Podcast.com for everything. Show tickets will be announced more soon because there's not many tickets left

for anything besides Cancun. Merchandise, please sign up for the newsletter because we will make announcements especially regarding the live shows there. First, Girls Got a podcast on Instagram. Instagram. Raina is reina. dot Greenberg on Instagram. I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Girls underscore got to eat on Twitter and YouTube.com

slash girls got to eat. And we will see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.