Girls Gotta Eat - These Bros Ain't Loyal

Episode Date: March 12, 2018

Can you spot a cheater? In this episode, Rayna and Ashley take you through a step-by-step identification process for 2018. The ladies discuss how to spot a cheater before you even get involved, and also how to appropriately stalk your man if you suspect he's messing around (spoiler alert: females usually aren't wrong.) They also share their cheat stories, and play another hilarious game of Red Light Green Light with their followers. Follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If somebody specifically says don't post, you're so private that people can't see a photo of me standing next to you. Like, I'm not sucking your dick. Yeah. If the guy says, please don't post pictures of my dick on social media, understandable. Guys, welcome back to Girls Gotty Podcast. Hi, guys. Thanks for coming back. I know you want to say it's episode four. It feels so unnatural. Like, I don't know how to. It's just like, I don't have anything else to say after that. I know. I looked at you. I was like, you want to do the intro? What do you got?

You can see it like bubbling up inside of my body? Do you have any updates on your 24-year-old boyfriend whose name? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't say the B word. I don't know his name. Well, yeah, I don't really give guys, I don't say their real names until we're like serious. I like to call them, you know. But I've met him, and I don't know his name. Last week we were out the podcast as I was going to a date with him.

Raina met him on the street as I was walking down to meet him. We didn't go to TGI Fridays. Again, if you listen to last week, we talked about all this. I was like, I'm not meeting you there. I was joking. And we just met at sports bar. May as well have been Fridays, to be completely honest. And yeah, we ate had drinks.

And then I was like, going to take this day to the next level. So we went to Laschina, which I love. Do you know Leskina? Yeah, it's full of tequila. It's my favorite place. It's so good. And it's like, you know what? I'm going to say this about a place like this.

So it's an underground. It's under this tacharia. It's kind of like this hidden away, really cool. bar and where it's not like people are super dancing. There's a DJ, but it's kind of crowded. So you kind of have to like stand close. I like that kind of vibe for like a new person that you're dating because it makes you like touch each other. Yeah, he did it on purpose. He was like a Friday. I chose that like 30 feet away from each other. No, we had a really good date. And that was Thursday. And then I saw him like Saturday. Later in the night. So you booty called him.

I booty called him after my late-night pizza even. Like, it was so late. Which, let me just tell you, Raina, Saturday night, went to, like, a fancy, nice dinner with my girlfriend's Vandal, went out dancing, ended up in Mr. Purple, got late-night pizza, and then got laid. Like, tell me that I'm not living my best life. You are, I would like to tell the listeners. Tell me that's not the best. Like, I woke up Sunday and I was like, this is. That this is a dream.

I'm living my dream. Do you know how fat I am though? Ashley texted me like, I got fucked last night and I ate pizza. We're going to cut that out. Fine. She said this guy came over last night. We made love. And I ate pizza.

And my first response was, where was the pizza from? That's how fat I am. No, Rana was like, how was your night? I'm like, yeah, went out. We went to dinner, danced, got pizza, got laid. She's like, where was the pizza from, though? most importantly. It's a more important question.

Okay, so let's get into this week's topic. I'm really excited about this week's topic because it is inspired by events from last week's story. Yes. Do you want to talk about it or should I? No. I mean, you start and watch as my blood pressure rises because it's something that riled us up. So last week, we spent about 15 minutes of the episode dedicated to this guy that I

had some sleepovers with in my. Miami. That I said I adored him. I used that word. That is a strong... Ashley used some superlatives. Yeah. Anyways, I met him and we were so amazed by him because he was one of these guys that was like, you know, I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm not looking to date. I want to be upfront about that. And Ashley and I were like melting into a puddle about... So honest. I just love what a guy just like really is up front. And then you can make a decision about whether you want to have something to do with the person. You know, I re-listen to this on the subway and I'm like fist bumping myself. I'm like, that's a great point, me.

So anyways, I wasted 15 minutes of the episode. Of our precious podcast. Yeah, it's a really a lot amount of time. Yeah. And I come back and I find out that not only... Wait, hold on, let me interject that if you didn't listen, I really want to say really quickly that him and Raina had some sleepovers. They did not have sex, but he was like wanted to. He was basically like, hey, should we fuck?

And she's the one that turned him down. So had she been into it, they 100% would have had sex. I mean, you guys slept, you cuddled, but like, we didn't have sex because he couldn't close. Okay. I'm about as easy to close as a refrigerator door. Okay. I don't, regardless, they didn't fuck, but they could have. I feel like that's important to the story. It is important because if I, the bomb were about to drop. Okay, so basically we get back and I find out that not only does he, is he not single, but he has a girlfriend he lives with. Living girlfriend. Living girlfriend. Mr. I'm so single. Don't want to be in a relationship. Can I fuck you guy as a living girlfriend.

He's actually really lucky. He's very fortunate. He couldn't close with me because I would have called her. Right. You can't fuck with me like this. You can't waste 15 minutes of my podcast. Yes, that's where it gets real. Motherfucker. So anyways, this week we make us feel dumb on this podcast.

We'll ruin you. Millions of people listen to this podcast. You heard me right. Millions. Exit out of here. Leave us a review. Anyway. So this week we thought we would sort of talk about signs to look

for in a relationship that things might not be right, that somebody might be cheating on you, or that you might be the other woman. Right. And, I mean, things like this happen and girls just combined with all the other things that all of us have all dealt with, we kind of just throw our hands up in the air. We're like, is every man a terrible person? You know, like, do all men lie? Do all men cheat?

We don't really think that. We think a lot of them do, but that's kind of a whole separate topic for maybe another time. So this week we kind of wanted to talk about those things to look for in a relationship that a guy is being unfaithful or being dishonest and is hiding something. Yeah, so you can stay on your game. Don't waste your time or your podcast. So this is, I can't believe I'd do more research. I'm usually like a social media sniper.

Like you, nothing gets by me. Well, and like, you know, again, you weren't like trying to date him. So had you had like real feelings for that. this guy at some point. You might have done a little more. But it was just crazy because we were like, oh, that guy is a living girlfriend? Like, poor girl. Right. Okay. So have you ever, have you ever been cheated on? Oh my God. No. Of course. Fucking girls would cheat on. Yeah. Fri-a-haastor. Yeah. Oh my God. No, I can't imagine what that would be like. This is an amazing topic. I can't read to relive all of these stories about people just totally destroying me.

I just like whipped out a knife. I'm like slowly starting to cut. But yeah, I have. I'm going to, I'll share one story because it also pretty much embodies everything we're going to talk about today. And I've also had plenty of situations that were very gray, like, full-blown, like, we were on a break type situations where the guy was just being dishonest or where it's like hard to really call it cheating. But like, yeah, you were doing shit that wasn't cool and that I never would have done. Really like shady shit. But I'll share one story. I was dating this guy.

We were a long distance. I lived in Atlanta. He lived in Charlotte. And we'd known each other in college. And we'd always kind of been never in the right place, right time to date. And finally, he, you know, came to Atlanta for something. We got together. And it was like it was on.

You know, like, we really, really liked each other. We always kind of had a crush on each other. So we started dating. I really fell for him hard. I mean, we were going back and forth, you know, Atlanta and Charlotte every weekend. And, wow. Yeah. Like, that was the first guy where I felt like I could see

myself with him long term. And we've been dating for a few months, but things were moving, were like progressing really quickly. And I, he didn't want to come to Atlanta for Fourth of July, which is, that's the girlfriend weekend. Right, which is like, that's a weekend you're supposed to spend with your, it's a holiday. And my birthday was right after Fourth of July. So I, my, I was on alert for that. You know, I was kind of like, this is a little strange and he was going to go to Charleston. And then I kind of racked my brain. I'm like, he just went to Charleston, like, Memorial Day. You know, we're talking like a month ago. Really? Another girlfriend weekend. Right. I had a bachelor at that weekend. So that was fine, that we weren't together. But he went to

Charleston to visit friends that weekend and everything seemed fine. But then I'm like, oh, he's going back. This is a little strange instead of going to visit me. So that's when I just had a feeling that there was some girl there. And I was right. And they're married now. He married her, which, you know, it's fine. If you're going to cheat on me, at least fucking marry the person you're going to end up with. But yeah, after that short, things fizzled. I could, you know, it was just weird. He was acting kind of distant. Then we finally just called it quits. And I was just like, really, I was so, so, so sad. Like, it was really heartbreaking because that was the first guy I really, really felt like that about. And yeah, there were a lot of signs. And we're going to touch on them. I'm not going to give them all

away, but he kind of had them all looking back. You know what? I was 25, 24, 25. Right. So, wasn't as woke as I am now. There also wasn't as much social media available. There wasn't. There wasn't. And he didn't have any social media. So that's, we will address that too. And I'll throw this in there that the first time we kissed, he had a girlfriend.

So already, I was, you know, it was that whole thing of like, we're not doing well. I'm about to break up with her. But that's the sign too. I'll get into that. I read this really interesting thing about cheating. There's this book by Esther Perel, who's like a relationship psychiatrist. And one of the points she made was that when we evaluate cheating, when it's another person, we look at them and say, like, they're a horrible person.

We review the person's personality traits. When we look at ourselves cheating and doing those behaviors, we look at it in a situational. So as a situational, like, I don't know the word I'm looking for, but he kissed you and you thought, okay, so this is making him a horrible person. He really likes me. And this is the situation. Is their relationships crumbling? And you make this whole list of like ways to rationalize it. And you say to yourself, I'm different. This situation is different. We are not a statistic. We are not the, we are not the rule. We are the exception. And then you hit that age or whatever it is, that point in your life where you're like,

no, I'm nothing special. If the guy did this to you, he goes to someone else, he's going to do the person after you. Yeah. Now you put him on a podcast with millions of listeners. Positiveity. Positiveity time. Okay. How about you, Raina? I have a worst story. So if you're feeling pretty low right now, I'm about to take it lower. I was in a very serious long-term relationship with somebody I was living with who was like fragently cheating on me. So I was, too, I was also very young.

It was my first relationship when I moved to New York. I was 23 years old. And we were together about eight months the first time I caught him cheating on me. And the whole time I just had this feeling like I couldn't trust him. Like something in you is like I don't know what it is. I just feel like something's going on. So anyways, I caught him. He was cheating on me with his secretary or assistant or something.

We broke up, and then I was in so much pain. It was like the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. So 23-year-old or 24-year-old me is like, you know how to numb this pain is to get back together? That feels like. Oh, that feels good. Oh, God. So I get back together with him, and like that feeling sort of never went away. And I would say actually it got worse.

Like my need to snoop got worse, and I was in this, like, living hell inside of my head. Right. A hundred percent. And so, of course, I moved in together with him. Keep this train rolling. Are you guys like, this girl's so stupid? Well, just wait for it. So, I, again, I sort of knew that something was going on. You're like, should I have a baby?

Should we get married? Let's have a joint credit card for him. That's when you, like, stop taking your birth control. You're like, you don't want to really fix this relationship. A child. You know, the buzzers. That fucking child. The buzzers in my head if like something is not right was really like going off.

And one morning he was in the shower and he like called out from the shower and he said something like, hey, like I'm starving. If you go get food, I'll pay for it. Just go get the money out of my wallet. I open up his wallet and there is a stack of receipts for, I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to stoop through this. Because once somebody betrays you, you're like, It makes you crazy. No hold barred. Yeah.

You're a crazy person. So I go through the receipts. They are a bunch of dinners for two people that are very expensive. This is also a Whitney Houston song called it. It's not right, but it's okay. It's not okay. It's not okay. These were dinners that I was certainly not at.

Right. When he told me he was at work events, so I went into the bathroom and I said, what is this receipt for Gramercy Tavern for $300 for two people? Right. Like, he was going on dates with girls. Yeah, expensive dates. Very expensive dates. Actually, I got his credit card statement right after I threw him out.

Anyways. So he's like butt naked and he tells me it's none of your business what this is. Oh, okay. Oh, really? Because you don't live here anymore. Yeah. And I started running around the apartment. He's like, put the knife down. Right now. Put the knife down. I was running around the apartment breaking things. I think he threatened to call the police when I picked up his laptop and smashed it off of the dresser. You know, it's like the modern day equivalent of that is just like I post him on my Instagram account and I'm like, you know, like burn book him on the internet. Oh, motherfucker. Are you serious? I'm about to put you on this on the internet. So luckily, he was not on the lease from my apartment.

So he was living there, but he didn't sign the lease. So I said, you have two days to get out of here. I'm going to go out of town. When I get back, do not live here anymore. And that was the end of the relationship. And I will say the minute I walked out the door, I actually felt so much better because those voices of like something is not right, it was finally no longer my problem.

And it felt really, really good. Anyway, so that is how I got cheated on. But, you know, of course, I look back and I say to myself, like, there were so many signs and you really should have walked away. And actually, the first time we hooked up, he had a girlfriend. And that's, you know, which makes me a horrible person. We have some of these topics we want to go through. That one's quick and dirty, yes.

Like, we don't even need to really dive in. Like, if you're already the other woman, like, he's doing this. He's probably going to do it again. Like, that's, you know, done and done. Right. And it seems situational all the time. Same thing that you said. Like, when I met him, he was like, I'm living with this person.

It's completely over. You know, I'm just trying to find an apartment, but like we are not sexually involved anymore. Like, okay. You're full of shit. So, yeah, I mean, I don't think that that's the rule. Like, it's not every. Like, some people really do just fall in love with somebody else. But if it works out for you and you're the other woman and then you become, you're in a

committed relationship forever. You're the exception to the rule, I think. And like, if a guy is doing this to you, he's done it before. He's going to do it again. Right. I just think it's somebody with maybe a little. or moral compass than I would prefer to have. So that to me is obviously a red flag.

Check. That's the first one. I think another one that is, that we talked about a lot is, Ashley has a list. We made a list. Well, we were talking about it. I think we, the instincts. Women have like a female instinct that is not usually wrong. Yeah. I'm not a jealous person at all.

Like there's nobody that's ever dated me that would say she was jealous or she snooped or she had like weird expectations. but I will say every time I've thought there was something wrong in a relationship, I've been right. That voice has never, nobody that was treating me well and being a decent person ever made me think that. I'm totally with you. Like I, the one time I ever snooped on a guy, the one time it was this guy, we were dating and we had already said good night for the night. Like, we were like, great. We were really great.

I had zero doubts in him and I, you know, zero distrust in him. And I swear to God, I like laid my head on my pillow and something told me something wasn't right. I swear to God, I felt like a weird, like what's going on here. And I randomly had his email password and I logged into his email and right at the top was an email from this girl. And it was, I couldn't even, I was like impressed with myself. Or I was like, that was some weird. It's an instance. And, you know, I've had this happen plenty of more times.

I don't need to get into all my like stalking stories that are going to make me sound crazy, but I've never been wrong. and like I've had situations where guys like you're fucking crazy and I'm like but am I wrong right you might not like how I found this but I found it right so I will say like I think that it is fine to do a little social media stalking ahead of time before a date and really like get in there

these tools are available to you today these tools were not available to me then I couldn't like go on social media or LinkedIn and I mean I guess Facebook obviously I'm not like 75 years old Facebook existed but I don't want to actually I am surprised surprise I ran us my mom

But I think that you really should investigate somebody. I went out with some guy recently and he was like, I saw you were stocking my LinkedIn. And I was like, of course I said, yeah, that's just responsible dating. Yeah, exactly. I think that you should look through somebody's Instagram. I met this guy once I went out with a couple times and he had two Instagram accounts. He'd won business one at a personal one. And I didn't know about the personal one.

And there were pictures of him and his girlfriend on the personal one. And one of my friends found it. I didn't even know this existed. Yeah. I mean, 100% always, always check. Yeah, all these. So actually, I wanted to read something and then we'll talk about one of our other things. But while, while Rain is queuing it up, I think that a little bit to play devil's advocate is a girl that is just like, I've been cheated on so many times. Like, I can't even trust my instincts anymore. You know what I mean? And then, you know, go to therapy for that. But like, you really, we, we, as women, we have these instincts. And I think a lot of women and females push those thoughts aside because they, They don't want to believe that something's true, you know, because there are very few females. I have a ton of female friends.

There are very few that have had a cheating situation that haven't said that I had this weird feeling that something was off. Yeah. And conversely, really, I've said this before. Like, nobody that I've ever had a good, positive relationship with ever made me feel like I need to snoop on them. Yeah, exactly. Like, the voice is real.

But I think it's hard to, like, have this feeling and be like, well, maybe this person doesn't deserve it. Like, maybe it is my baggage. Like, maybe it is my shit. I know. It's a tough line. And I don't really know how to tell people to straddle it, but like, I really have never been wrong ever. Right.

Nope. I've never, like, suspected something and then be like, oh, man, I was wrong. I was so right. I just sad. I combed his emails and all I found were, like, love letters to me. Yeah. Nobody's ever. But on that take, again, I strongly believe I don't snoop.

I'm telling you the one time I did it. You know what I mean? and like where you, where I logged and where I invaded someone's privacy. Stocking's a little different. Stuff that's out there open on the internet is different than like snooping through someone's private email, whatever it is looking through their phone. And I hate that because you're always going to find something that doesn't look good, I think. I don't think it's not going to be crazy cheating all the time, but like I just think

it never goes well. Yeah, I don't like snooping. I don't really want. I'm not down with that. And again, you shouldn't have to. Like I dated a guy for a year. The first year was great. I never once felt like never distrusted him at all.

I never felt like I had to snoop. And then we broke up. He broke up with me. And then the next whole year was us back and forth together, not together, on and off. And I was a fucking crazy person. Because he broke my trust. The relationship broke. And after that, I was a maniac.

Yeah, but, you know, we like to think that we've, like evolved as a society past all these, like, things and feelings. But betrayal is one of the hardest emotions to get past. And to come back from. There's just no way to come back from it when you really feel that. Yeah. And I always get wary of people that have. a cheating situation that get back together because I'm like, I just feel like it can happen.

I've seen it happen. And I think that I have friends. I have friends that like, you know, we have been together for years and had a good relationship at a good solid base and somebody has an affair. And I understand that you want to fight for that relationship. That's not the same thing. Somebody like comes clean to you. But anyway, so we got an email from a listener.

And I want to say, guys, I'm loving all of these emails and messages and all these people that say like this makes me feel less alone. and, you know, I'm like a single girl. It's really, it's so touching. So please continue to send us your emails to hello at girls got to eatpodcast.com. This is from a listener, and I thought this is a good, like, things to look for. I'm going to change all the identifying details because she said some pretty personal things. But she said that she had a question about a topic and that her boyfriend says he doesn't like me posting photos of us on Instagram.

He says it's caused problems with his ex in the past. and wants it to be a non-issue for us. What do you think about this? Well, she said, I feel like I can't trust him and I don't know what to do. Forget it. I'm out of there. I mean, to me, social media, we actually are going to do a whole episode on social media coming up soon, but we can't not touch on it when it comes to cheating.

So all those things are red flags, all of them, I think. Like, social media is so ingrained in our lives. You know, I had an ex that would be. like, why are you mad? It's just social media. I'm like, bitch, we met on social media. Right. We wouldn't even be dating if it wasn't for social media. So don't even, you know, and that's the thing. So I think it's so telling and it's a window into someone's life. Someone that's crazy private, like just as a person, probably I would never date that person because they wouldn't date me because of this podcast for one. Someone that is crazy private, maybe I understand if they're

not posting a ton because they just don't post things about their personal lives. but someone specifically asks you not to post pictures of them and tag pictures of them. That is huge red flag. Yeah, I'm out. If somebody specifically says don't post, you're so private that people can't see a photo of me standing next to you. Like, I'm not sucking your dick. Yeah, if the guy says, please don't post pictures of my dick on social media, understandable.

Right. Social media, I would say, is if the guy's active, and I'm going to talk specifically about Instagram. If the guy's active on Instagram, whatever, some guys post twice a year. These are not really the guys I'm talking about. Guys that are normally active on social media on Instagram, if you have a sneaking suspicion, calling back to the instinct thing, that there's someone, another girl, I think a lot of times you can kind of see, find that out on Instagram. And this is, I think it's just kind of like keeping tabs on comments that we know how we flirt as females. So you see a flirty comment on your man's Instagram, fucking keep tabs on that bitch.

I mean, this is how I found, like, this is how I found stuff out? Because I, we know how we are. Right. You know what I mean? So you see a girl and also you're like, who's that? I don't know that person. And like that seems like a pretty personal, like any sort of inside joke from a girl that you're like, I don't know who that is, you know?

And I mean, you can see, now you can look in your feed and see what your guys liking them too. You can see, I think when you're like, where this girl come from? that's when like the sensors go off. And I know there are some people that have a real problem with jealousy. And so I'm not talking to those girls. Like the people that like are like, why did this girl like your Instagram?

No, no, no, no, no. Do less. And I, plus, I mean, I have a ton of guy friends and like, you know, we comment stuff that could translate to flirty. But it's also like their girlfriends probably know who I am. And they know that we're just friends. And that's what I don't get crazy like that. But it's when someone new fucking pops up.

And it seems, and you can tell that they have some sort of relationship, keep fucking tabs on that bitch and always look at tag photos like that's where the real shit goes down it is it is i feel like people don't know about tag photos a lot of people don't know about this a lot of people don't know a lot of things like like a lot of people don't know a lot of things sorry sorry that was broad the craziest part is that from our first episode we had people reach out that say they didn't know that you could see who watches her instagram story and we were like what that's crazy how do you not know okay so instagram is one thing but i will say every day Dude, I know that is like a crazy-ass cheater, like just the dirtiest, grimyest.

No Facebook account. Fuck. Yes. No Facebook. Every one of them. For real, though. Because Facebook is actually so much, like, more, I would say, like, public because, you know, your family sees stuff, people are writing comments or tagged in other people's photos,

and it ends up on a wall, so it's curated. And people that don't want that curated wall there, I would really wonder why. Well, and the guy that we talked about earlier that did cheat on me, no Facebook. The guy in Miami, no Facebook. And here's the thing with Facebook. I'm kind of, I don't want to say I'm over Facebook, you know, but like I don't log into Facebook as much. I do spend most of my time on Instagram, but like most people, A, they got a Facebook. They definitely got one.

Almost everybody did. So like somewhere along the line, they probably deleted it. And also Facebook is like how as we get older, you know, we're in our 30s. It's like our families are on it. You see people's picture, wedding pictures, baby pictures. Like, it's the kind of a way to keep in touch with family and, like, if nothing else, you know, and it is so telling. So if somebody's photos are private on Facebook, they're cheating on you. That is just a recipe.

That is how you bake that cake. That is the recipe. And I'll tell you one thing. If you can, if people are, let's say they have Facebook, you know, you do like weird. You can have, you can customize those settings to be as private as you want. So if you think your man's hiding something on Facebook, like, look at his page from your friends. Yep.

And see what he's hiding. You can see. Like he could be hiding wallposts from just you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like really shady people. The second that you, something like that is off, that you can tell someone took the time and the effort to hide something from you, there's a reason.

He's cheating on you. That's crazy. 100%. You are either the other woman or he's cheating on you. Yeah. I used to not know how to use Instagram, so I had a friend. That's funny. I had a don't tell people that

look at me now well I started this Instagram we helped three years ago and I don't think like I remember my other friends like not everybody had Instagram Instagram we started four years ago no you're right so I didn't know how to like stalk or cheat so I found out that I was the other woman

because my other friend showed me how to stalker cheat with this guy oh well should we talk about that do you want to talk about it what can I say about this I found out that he had girlfriend and I confronted him about it. This guy told me that he'd broken up with somebody, that he'd been with somebody for four years and they'd broken up four months ago and she'd moved

out. And this was a long distance thing. I met him in New York, but he actually lived in Chicago and we went back and forth a couple times. I was like really falling for this guy. Like we're on the phone every day for hours. We're Skyping all day long. Never called me after 9 p.m. So big red flag also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, if someone's always inaccessible for, you know, You know what I mean. Large periods of-eat, a period of quality time. Yes. Not like workday, like evening time.

Yeah. We're just banging them all out. Oh, ow. Are you guys writing this down? Are you guys just so proud that Ashley and I have had every terrible thing in the book done to us? Like, you're welcome. Every guy that I've ever dated that cheated on me is like, you know what? I did a great thing for her.

You're welcome, bitch. Anyways, I really like fell for this guy. I was so crazy about him. And a girlfriend of mine found out that he had a girlfriend through social media. a stocking and I confronted him about it and he had this like completely psychotic melt-down and was like, I can't believe I've done this to you and her and this has been so horrible for me and I don't know what to do about it because I'm like falling for you but I'm like still with this girl and he tells me he's going to check into a mental institution.

What? Oh, fuck you. So I'm like, wow. Oh, he's a sex addict too. Oh my God. Yeah, he had weird sex stuff. He wanted to do also. I hate when guys are just fucking cheaters and they're like, I'm a sex addict.

Right. Oh, fuck you. Also, guys, that's another red flag. That's a sex addict fucking run. That sounds amazing to me. I'm like, ooh, sign me up. You definitely are. I'm diagnosing you. So anyways, he tells me he's going to check in a mental institution, and I'm like, poor

you. So anyways, about a week later, I'm in the south of France, sitting at a train station, just minded my own business. And I decided I'm going to check her Instagram account, the girlfriend's Instagram account. And that morning, she posted a photo of the two of them at the Art Institute of Chicago. Not a mental institution. It looked like there was art on the walls, but like not psychologist. You're like, oh, bitch, you're not in a straitjacket? Guess what?

Right. Well, guess what then? So then I did one of the smarter things I've ever done. I deleted his name from my contact list. And so his phone number would be at the top of my text messages and I screenshot our text messages and sent them to the girlfriend. Good. Because you know what? I thought of, I sitting there thinking like, I'm never going to talk to this person again. and I'm never going to be involved in these people's lives, but you know what? You don't get to do this to me. I'm with you. It's not fair. It's not fair that, like, I have been really nothing but a nice, kind, fun, easygoing person

who just, like, gave you the best sex of your life and then cooked you breakfast. And, like, I hate when you don't laugh out loud at my jokes. I know. I love it. I don't know the way your mind works. You're like, how can I also talk about how amazing I am while I'm talking about getting fucked over? The other day my mom was like,

I see your wheels turn, and you're like twirling your hair. You're like, you know what, this is too self-deprecating. Let me get something in about how amazing I am at sex. Wait, let me plug my mom. We hadn't plugged her. Yes, the other day, my mom, she was like, you know, Raina, you tell a lot of jokes about, like, how narcissistic you are, but you are. And I was like, yeah, no shit.

Like, what are the jokes are based on? Duh. Anyway, she fits. I really feel like you don't get to do that to me. That is not fair. And it's not like I sent her the text for, like, girl, Power and Empowerment. No, I'd send it to her to fuck his day up. Yeah.

So this is how I reached her. Because you know how you used to have to like, if you send people like Facebook messages. If you're not friends with them, it goes into this weird. It was a secret voter. Right. This is very crazy what I did. Oh, man. I created a new Instagram account and I posted a photo of the screenshot text messages and I tagged them both.

Whoa. I am just hearing this for the first time. Didn't see that coming. Is this? I don't know how to use Instagram. Look at you go. I learned quick. Mother easy.

In a beautiful way. Ask me what I named the account. Fuck it. God damn. What? I would want to know too. Shut up. Okay.

If you want to find this account, it exists. Let's do this. This is our new business venture. If you want to out somebody, send us the screenshots. We're going to put them on I would want to know two and tag both of those motherfuckers. Sorry, guys, we're shutting down the podcast. I feel like I was born to be like a private investigator. That's a brilliant idea.

Back to me, have you ever been more proud of anything? That's amazing. I just wanted him to know that I told her. I didn't want either one of them like wiggling out of this conversation. And the text message said like, I wish I could like slide inside of you, like roll over and like slide inside of you. Oh, okay. Something I definitely masturbated too. And then I don't remember.

I said something disgusting too, I'm sure. And he was like, I just want to like hold you. I miss you. much. It was the most perfect text message. Just in case he could try to talk her out of like that this was just sex. Yeah. Like I wanted her to know that this was an emotional connection I had with somebody. She told me to fuck off.

Yeah. Which, whatever. We're not going to get into all that. But it's just like, well, that's your prerogative. Right. She knows. You know, you always know. So here's a way to know that your man's cheating on you.

Another person and another city reaches out to you and tells you. Oh, and one more thing. This is going to make me sound even more fucking crazy. Oh, good. I'll tell you where to look for stuff. Venmo. Oh, it's the best place to look. Like, I had a guy and I had his feeling that he was, there was something going on with

this girl. And sure enough, why did I see a Venmo transaction between them? Like, heart eyes, all the things. And I was just screenshot and sent it to him. Like, care to explain? I mean, is low-key one of the best places to stock a billion percent? Like, if there's like a heart emoji from somebody you don't know, he's cheating. Yep.

Like if there was a An inside joke, again, you've got to be on alert these fucking inside jokes because that means they have a relationship. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah.

Venmo. I love that you said that. And also Venmo us, if you're on it. My mom's like, never accept anything from someone that you are not willing to exchange something for them. And I'm like, you're crazy because if somebody wanted to Venmo

me my rent this month, like absolutely. And I don't feel like I owe you anything. Did you ever see that meme? It was like, ladies, next time a guy asks for your number, take his phone and Venmo yourself $4,000. I was like, yes. That is so smart.

Well, also, and you brought up a good point, like, while we're talking about privacy and hiding things and all those things, like if a guy doesn't introduce you to his friends. Yeah, that's a really big problem. Well, I just, I think, problem, I think that's a red flag. If you're not involved in somebody's life,

you know that you're not. not. Like, it's, A, they're hiding, they're hiding you. So it's either they're cheating or something shady is going on or they aren't proud of you, which neither I'm good. I'm okay with. If somebody is not introducing you to the most important people in their life, then you're the other woman.

There's just no question about it. Or you're ugly. Oh, that's never happened to me before. All right. Well, yeah, let's recap stuff to look for. Trust your instincts, always. If your instincts are fucked up, go to therapy with Raina's mom. No Facebook.

Really big problem. Weird social media requests. No tags. Anything private. Weirdness on social media. Yeah. And they cheated with you. They're already a cheater.

That's a thing. What's crazy? Girls are like, oh my God, he cheated on me. It's like, well, he was a cheater. Okay. You knew this. But you know that I feel like there are. exceptions to the rule. There are. There are people that really fall in love and like then they

realize they're with the wrong partner and that happens. Totally. If there's people that just grow up, you know what I mean? Yeah, but everybody Ashley and I have ever dated, they're terrible if they've done this to you. What's up guys? How you doing? Well, okay, so should we play a game? Yes. I'm not sure which game we're playing today. We don't even know, guys, whatever. We're going to go over to Instagram. We're going to drink some wine. I have drank every night this week. My My brain is much. I know. Just the sound of wine. I was like, oh, fuck, are we really doing this?

Okay. We'll see you guys in a few. On Instagram. This week we're going to play a game called, what we call it? Red Light Greenlight. We played this last time. It was super fun. We basically just want you guys to name things.

Come back in the filter. Fuck yes. If name things that happen in relationships that are either red light stop, GTFO, get the fuck out, or Greenlight. That's fine. That's fine. Anyway, so we would love for you guys to submit questions. We're going to read them and we're going to answer them.

Someone asked has never had a long-term relationship. I dated, probably the last guy I dated, never had a long-term relationship, like 36-year-old guy, three months max in his life. To me, so I've talked. You got a yellow lighted. I don't think you should just write somebody off, but we obviously didn't work out.

I mean, if somebody has managed to reach to age of 36 out of significant connection to somebody else, like not a friend, not a romantic one, that's a flag for me. Missing six adult teeth. Where are the teeth located? Look, I'm in my 30s, okay? I can't just be like picking people that have like full sets of hair and teeth.

Like I have to. Like did he lose the teeth from meth? I'm slum in it. Red light on meth. Fine. Ashley says red light. They've done, have they, if they've done porn. Red light yellow.

Red light green light if a guy has done porn. For me it's a red light, but that doesn't mean it has to be a red light. for everybody. For sure. It wouldn't be for me. I think red light on porn. Yeah. Oh, yes.

This is a great one. Admits that he has cheated on his ex. Okay, so run the fuck away. Actually, okay, here's how I feel. I have been on a first date with somebody that told me, two times I've been on a first date with somebody who told me they cheated on their ex. Right out the gate. Then you, I would never, ever talk to the person again.

If you're in a committed relationship with somebody and they say, I want to talk about things I've done in the past. If somebody wants to be honest with you, then I think that it's okay to at least listen. But right up top, first eight, I'm a cheater. Nope. Never. I would never talk to you again. Chronic bad breath. I've never experienced this. Halitosis?

What's that? Chronic, like halitosis, chronic bad breath is a debilitating disease. And no. I'm sorry for making fun of red light. Have you never smelled halitosis? No. If you even exes someone on a plane with halitosis, I'm like I can't even It's like ass? What does it smell like?

I can't even describe the smell. I mean, have you guys smelled? No, halitosis, like, comes from deep with it. It's like a rotten. It's the thing. Okay. All right. Yeah, I mean, it's not for me.

These are amazing questions, guys. It's a sex offender when he was younger. I can't, there's a lot of information here, but he's a sex offender from when he was younger. It was a situation where she was 16 and he was 18 and her parents basically press charges, but now he has to register as a sex offender, but you found out via Google. Who! This happened to this girl for sure. The situation is horrible.

But like shouldn't have happened. He's in a consensual relationship with a 16-year-old. He's 18. That's a green light for me. That sucks that his parents press charges, but he has to register as a sex offender. That's horrible. Fuck it green light it. Yeah, green light for me.

I'm dating him. Yeah, he gets extra blow jobs. Poor guy. Brings up politics in first early dates. I'm greenlighting it. Yeah, I like to know where these days I like to know where you stand. Yeah, for sure. First fucking topic we talk about.

Oh, cheers. A 43-year-old doctor that's mom still pays for a cell phone bill. For real, though. All I heard was doctor. I'm like, yes, scream. And that wraps it up for our episode about cheating. Everyone is super inspired. We've had some wine.

We do make me to make this quick. Okay. Subscribe, rate, review. The reviews have been hilarious and amazing. We read them to go to bed at night, like bedtime stories. Exit out of this podcast. Do not turn it off and go leave a rating. Right now.

Do right now. I'm Jewish. Of course, I'm fasting. No, we just love reading them. I literally read them to go to sleep at night. Thank you guys so much for tuning to another episode. We will be back next week. Thanks, guys. Do you tell them to subscribe?

Oh, and follow us? And follow us. Oh, yeah. Also, our Instagram account is Girl's Got to Eat Podcast. This is the last fucking time we drank. Right has reached or live it. It's 7.30. It's not like so late.

All right. Bye, guys. We'll see you next week. We love you.